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#friends who understand ur neurodivergent needs >>>
darlingjmiller · 28 days
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had a really nice exchange with a friend today. he invited me to lunch the other day and now that it’s tomorrow i’m very much like ehh idk if i’ll feel like socialising and masking etc so i told him we’ll see how i feel tomorrow about getting lunch (i have a medical appt before so it might take a lot out of me) and HE SAID !!
“If you wanna just sit in silence and eat sushi I'm very comfortable with that as well it doesn't need to be a high effort activity”
ppl who understand the need to just sit in silent company >> ppl that find you weird for not talking all the time
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writterings · 6 months
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procastinating at work but here's my philosophy for today: it's okay to hate a behavior in someone else but also understand that this behavior does not make them a bad person. like i HATE when i'm venting or talking about a serious problem i have and then the person i'm talking to starts trying to relate by talking about a similar experience they've had. like absolutely hate it. make me feel like the focus is being taken off me and it genuinely is in some ways, regardless of your intent. yeah, i understand that's your way of trying to comfort me -- but that's not the way i need or want to be comforted, and that's what matters in a situation where i'm coming to you to be helped.
and that's okay! like. no one is in the wrong here unless i have explicitly asked you to support me in a different way and you're intentionally refusing, or if i lash out at you when i could just disengage. it just means you're not a person i should go to for help when talking about my problems. we can still be friends, you and i can probably support each other in different ways, but we're just incompatible in this regard. and that's like....okay. it's okay to be incompatible with people.
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dangans-ur-ronpas · 14 days
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saw ur vents abt dungeon meishi and while I haven’t read the series yet or watched the anime I have seen bits and pieces and already saw the blowup scene where Toshiro attacks Laois and like. even I with zero context didn’t totally hate him. It sucks majorly that it had to happen but like. Toshiro is going through his own shit and plenty of other characters ALSO don’t like Laois! I think people just see that scene and project the amount of times that’s happened to them with someone in real life, which like. I get it. I’m autistic and reading that scene hit like a gut punch bc it was something I had experienced directly in real life: trying to be friends with someone, thinking you are friends, only for them to reveal one day that they couldn’t stand you and hated your guts from day one. You wonder why the fuck they pretended and let you hurt even worse than outright initial rejection. You wonder why they’d put themselves through enduring you. It makes you feel like you can’t trust anyone, makes you feel like utter shit. I 100% get why it bothers people. But you can’t project real life people you experienced onto this character that does not align at all except for this one moment. Also knowing about the author, she probably put that in on purpose as commentary for how autistics in Japan generally have to go through shit like this bc of the way their social culture is. She’s made plenty of autistic commentaries before, I doubt she stuck that scene in there for no good reason. The fact that Toshiro kept quiet and didn’t say anything until he couldn’t take it anymore is VERY indicative to me of the ways Japan’s typical social system is a struggle on all sides. Not to say these are problems unique to Japan, but the nuance needs to be understood. Toshiro isn’t being a dick just for the sake of it. I want to read it sometime so I can better understand the guy, but I don’t want to hate him based on one scene where he was an asshole. Laois is an asshole plenty of times himself, being very overtly written as autistic doesn’t absolve him from the responsibilities of being an adult.
TLDR: People tend to infantilize Laois and demonize Toshiro, which comes down to the prejudices preconceived for both of them: people see Laois, as an autistic man, as an innocent sweet guy who needs to be protected. They see Toshiro, as an Asian man, as someone who should be “polite and honorable” or whatever and are appalled when he acts like a fallible human being and not some appropriation of a fictional romanticized samurai. I understand feeling betrayed and angry seeing a character be a genuine asshole about something (social expectation does not completely absolve Toshiro of his own antagonizations however much of a reason he had) but when it’s so damn one sided, and especially in a series where almost NO one is without complete asshole qualities that round them out, I find it kind of gross that people hate on him for that. Anyway. Just wanted to send a message of support and understanding. Hopefully after I read more I can offer more analysis to corroborate with you on.
100% CORRECT thank you anon
i also understand the people who are sympathizing with laios bc that scene is very easy to relate to for many autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people (i also got a cold sweat when i was watching it bc. like. having someone you thought was a friend straight up tell you there are parts of your behavior that they can't stand is one of the worst things to experience of all time, ESPECIALLY if you were only showing that behavior around them bc you thought they were your friend and you trusted them) but it's so frustrating seeing so many people have such shallow opinions about toshiro bc of it. im on hands and knees begging people to consider the characters in three dimensions and/or develop better reading comprehension because like!! toshiro's official meeting with laios's new group literally leads with 'oh his name is actually toshiro and we never knew bc our leader had a misunderstanding and microaggressed him and he was too polite to correct him' laios is not an innocent party here!! he is not an innocent uwu autistic baby he's a grown adult man with responsibilities, in that whole time he was partied with toshiro he never learned his real name!! plus using toshiro's crush on falin as a reason to hate him, falin's adolescence was spent in a school and a social setting where she was expected to mask + her being a girl also means she is expected to mask by default -> she is better at masking than laios so why are people saying that toshiro hates laios for the same traits in falin bc clearly not?? also saw one person saying 'he only likes falin because she's hot' NO HE DOES NOT HE WOULD NOT RISK HIS LIFE HEALTH AND RETAINERS IN A DUNGEON ON A FOREIGN CONTINENT FOR THE SAKE OF A WOMAN HE ONLY THOUGHT WAS SEXY!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DUNMESHI FANS THINK WITH YOUR BRAAIN
the whole fight he had with laios where laios points out that their party is more serious about finding falin and resolving everything also drives me nuts because i've seen at least one take saying that toshiro doesn't care about falin as much as team laios because of this. which yes the fact that team laios understands the importance of health in pursuit of a goal is very very important but for many cases in east asian culture (and actually any culture with emphasis on capitalism and economic growth) productivity will get valued above all else which leads to neglect of personal health, i.e: what toshiro was doing. so this is just a clown take to begin with
also interesting to me that almost every character in dunmeshi thus far has demonstrated some kind of racial bias/misconceptions (i.e: chilchuck about elves, senshi about half-foots, etcetera etcetera) and laios and falin are no exception. race and racial differences and conflict and coexistence is also one of the underlying themes in dungeon meshi, with the elves of the west being considered a major issue to many dungeon-goers and the mayor hating dwarves and having to contend with those elves, and then marcille's motive for studying black magic and even thistle's motive for being the dungeon keeper. so it's real fucking ironic that the fans are really quick and happy to demote toshiro to 'asshole side character who is bullying our autistic rep' instead of, you know, using nuance and thinking about it
tldr; dungeon meshi has great commentary on what it's like as an autistic person in society. but dungeon meshi fans are too quick to write off toshiro as an asshole japanese guy who is ableist and getting in the way of their white woman yuri, therefore helping to promote this website's enduring legacy as the piss-poor reading comprehension website
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campbyler · 1 month
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mmm what the fuck?
how am i supposed to live like a normal functioning person after experiencing the full range of human and Inhuman emotions?
thea i love u i promise but i also want to kill u in the most cruel way possible.
i was trying to read 32k words one hour before the work and failed Miserably 😭 i only get through driving lesson part. can u believe i had to do actual work the entire day instead of reading my gay fanfiction? 💔heartbreaking misogynistic And homophobic if u ask me.
anyway. i know im going to forget something. it always happens and then im too shy to send other asks so let hope it doesn’t happen this time.
driving lesson.
don’t worry about ur manual transmission description. i’ve changed three instructors in the span of year and a half and all three of them told me different things. i didn’t notice any Big Serious issues that would be at odds with driving mechanic.
to the other news. will sucks 😭😭 not his fault Obviously. he’s naturally anxious and tbh mike didn’t give him any hints about how to feel when the car is ready to go. not mikes fault too. i bet he doesn’t even think about this little thing anymore (and cause u don’t know about them either. which is ok don’t worry about it. u probably just need to experience it ti fully understand). i was so happy when will finally manage to get the car going 😭😭 i probably called him baby too.
and then i literally passed out when i saw the mike called Him baby?? first will’s brain in denial made me questioning was it really for him or for the car. cause mike Loves that car i wouldn’t be surprised if he really call it baby from time to time. but then i remembered that we know how mike feels thanks god and i became like 85% sure that it was for will. (i also Run to check playlist right after this line. yeah i found “king of my heart” there. u make the impossible possible cause why am i listening to two of my least favorite reputation songs and genuinely enjoy them?)
i mentally add the keychains to the list of things we need to know more about. but i think it’s cute that they both not only save them but also use them almost daily. and they both choose car keys to hang the keychains on. dare i say soulmates.
*two weeks later*
also i think it’s funny they consider each other hot while driving.
and of course mike is obsessed with old expensive cars!!
are the malls in the us exactly dying? my office building is near the mall and i can guarantee u that in my country they r super alive.
ok i might be wrong but i think that the deleted scene is from bookstore part idk.
i think it’s cute that they trust each other enough to allow to choose as significant item as journals concerning that they really picky about them.
and i loved that mike blushed over a simple kiss 🫶🏻🫶🏻
(i feel like i want to catch up on everything and it’s killing me cause i write down one thing and immediately remember the other 😭)
THEY WERE SO BOYFRIENDS IN DINER!!! i don’t think i will ever recover from how cute they r and how much they actually like each other (and how single i am. as the classic said “when someone will prey on my neurodivergency….” and so on and so forth). i love that everyone can see it and im obsessed that boys don’t even want to deny it. i think a lot about the fact that mike said that they middle school sweethearts like he regrets about the missed opportunities (but also he doesn’t regret cause the thing they have now (at this exact moment. cause i still have bad feeling) is like that Because of years of semi-friendship and rivalry and unsaid confessions).
and i think even more about the fact that mike didn’t want to talk about his pretentious ivy league college. squinting so hard and taking a lot of notes (in fact writing paragraphs of analysis to my friends who has no idea what acswy).
the photobooth scene!!! omg i can’t believe u almost deleted it all??? suni is our hero! lots of hugs and kisses and thanks to them!!
i can’t believe mike talked about showing pictures to their friends in one minute and literally kissing will on them in the other. i love them they r so silly and in love and can’t get enough of each other. u can feel how close they become and that the air is thick with the newfound (and rediscovered) feelings. and they can’t live without touching and the hold hands constantly!!! all day long!!! and it’s not enough!!! and oh. i think it wasn’t the last time we saw pictures (squinting even harder).
the way max immediately cut the bullshit and asked about swearshirt. i need to know what lucas wrote to mike.
he likes him!!!
i love the difference between mikes “i know i like him but i won’t do anything about it” and wills “i need to kiss him to death right now!”
and the kiss on the backseat of mikes stupid mustang!! we were all waiting for it!
i think i reread and memorized the last part and in still shaking whenever i think about “nervous” part. mike makes will nervous!! and he makes him shake and do stupid stuff like kissing and blushing and thinking to add heart next to his name and call him his boyfriend!!! omg!!
“I’ve got you, baby” WHO WILL GET ME??? im the one who is going insane??? it’s so tender. my boys 💔💔💔
(the second time. my eyes r hurting from squinting that much. and i feel like we’ll have “el’s not stupid” kind of scene in the flashbacks)
this character hits so hard!! i’ve never doubted any of u but i can see why this one is one of ur favorite thea!
thank u so much for ur hard work. if i could draw i would to the whole ass animation of this chapter (and any other too).
love u. thank u for reading all this rambling
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mmm what the fuck is RIGHT alya bc this is how i feel every time i read one of ur lovely essay comments. bc whaqt the fuck. why do u want me to CRY ALL THE TIME. (i guess it's fair considering we are making u cry with the fic itself but still . Rude)
you are so real for trying to read 32k in one hour and also so me . rly fucked up and cruel that you would have to work (even tho u threatened to murder me)...i hope you are freed from these perils Soon. don't ever be too shy to send more asks tho every ask from you is a BLESSING and a TREAT!!! EVEN WHENTHEY ARE LACED W THREATS!!!!!!!!!!!! and also tysm for validating my manual driving lesson description bc fr every video i watched was different and i was so stressed but it's FINE. ALYA SIGNED OFF ON IT SO NO ONE ELSE MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAL W IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will Does suck and that's one thing we can all agree on 💗💗💗 i was going to include a bit about likee what the engine Sounds like bc i know it sounds different when you're ready to switch gears but honest tbhly the driving scene alone is like 12k and i was super losing steam by the time i thought of it so i didn't <3 he is def a baby and mike def refers to his car as baby so he is right to be confused. but it WAS for him!! we actually aren't 100% sure of mike's feelings Yet (ch08 is meant to be the precipice of a realization, not an actual one) but obviously . we do have a pretty good idea of how he does feel. teehee. also i am glad you are enjoying komh now bc wtf......how is it one of your least faves................i support you but i am also judging u a little alya .
i think keychains will be included in one of the companions :o) also OBVIOUSLY they find each other hot while driving. they're both annoying and down bad 🙄🙄
malls here are super dying!! i think the only ones that aren't are ones in Major Cities (there's two nearby me that are pretty popular, but the other ones are mostly closed, and it's definitely been a phenomenon in the us over the last few years thanks to online shopping)!! the deleted scene is actually from the driving scene, but the bookstore scene Feels shorter bc i was truly at the point where i had nothing left to give when writing it (it was the last part of ch09 to be written), so it definitely suffered from that. if we ever do Huge post-mortem edits once acswy is over, i might go back and add to it, or write a deleted-scene-type companion, but tht's the tea w the bookstore scene <3
the diner scene was SOOOO fun to write and it had me blushing frfr. i answered this in another ask but the middle school sweethearts comment was Definitely the most insane thing that i thought of for this chapter and to me it was for sure the nail in the coffin for will of like damn. ok. he's Serious abt this. bc i think with their #history that will has trouble admitting even to himself that he likes mike, and so he'd need to feel pretty certain of how mike feels first, and after processing the middle school sweethearts comment later in the car that's what made him realize like oh damn. i Do like him. SO MUCH. and we all nodded and patted his back and said yeah baby we know. but what you described mike thinking is absolutely exactly how he feels 💗 very reminiscent and wistful, even.
LOL LITERALLY THIS HAS BEEN A UNANIMOUS COMMENT ACROSS THE BOARD OF "THANK GOD FOR SUNI" (INCLUDING MYSELF). to Explain the way i was feeling about it -- i did not initially mean to have that be a Spicy make out moment! it was supposed to read more along the lines of the thrift store scene, or even the kiss after will finished driving the mustang, so very sweet and soft and Romantic. it just didn't come out that way once i was actually writing it, and so i was nervous that i was toeing the line too heavily, or tht it was out of place with the rest of the vibe i had constructed for the chapter. a combination of suni (and abby, who got early access and acted as our second beta) being adamant that it Did fit and worked well, and me being too pressed for time/not having enough energy to rewrite that saved it from the deleted scene graveyard <3 thank god fr. they are both so fucking stupid.
the entiiiiire realization scene up from will realizing he likes mike to the very end of the chapter is my favorite thing that i have ever written i think 💗 i am just so happy with the way it turned out, especially with it being at the point in the fic that it's at!! it felt rly right for will :') also mike calling him baby!!! that was such a last minute decision but i'm so glad i went for it!! the original line was "i've got you, yeah?" but baby hit So much harder so shout out to editing thea for making that change 🤸 will wants to add a heart next to mike's name in his phone SOOOO BAD!!! WHEN WILL HE GET TO!!!!!!!!!!!
your second ask SO TRUE SO REAL. TEEHEE AND MWAHA AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. also you're so right jonathan is so fucked up for stealing steve from will like that 🙄
tytyty as always for your novel length comment alya 💗 really and genuinely and truthfully the thought of getting to read ur reactions is one of the most exciting parts of uploading a chapter!! i eagerly await all of ur other reactions <3333
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nothorses · 1 year
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'Ur average person isn't going to use /genuine to be sarcastic.' the amount of death threats and please kys ive seen end with /pos and smiley faces...
Literally.
It's just the fucking "the dictionary definition says...!!!" argument again. Language is fluid. Humans are going to change the meanings of words through use over time, and you're going to end up with a thousand different interpretations of the same thing no matter what. That's how language works! That's culture, baby!!
Maybe instead of insisting we all need to agree on and stick to a singular use and definition of a bunch of niche acronyms (which literally already have a ton of different meanings) in order to prevent all miscommunication forever, we can just accept that sometimes people will not understand you correctly- due to neurodivergence, cultural background, language background, present emotional state, or whatever other garden variety misunderstandings- and that this is not actually bad or wrong.
Just fucking talk to people. If someone misunderstands you, help them understand. Ask people questions before jumping to conclusions. Forgive people for jumping to conclusions. Apologize and ask questions if you realize you've jumped to conclusions. Take people at their word, and if their word was shitty and dishonest, make them say that shit out loud rather than playing their petty games.
Say "I'm asking this out of genuine curiosity", and if they interpret that to mean, "I'm a massive piece of shit who secretly hates you", stop fucking talking to them. They aren't willing to trust you or cut you some normal fucking slack, and they suck, and that's a great red flag for you. (Or try to talk it out and fix that- just don't tolerate that kind of treatment.)
This isn't about learning to read people right without any abnormal tools; this is about learning to interact with people in a healthy, understanding way, and trusting yourself enough to expect trust from others. If you wanna use the tools with your friends, go for it! But you should still be putting in the work.
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computerpeople · 7 months
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omg what r ur thoughts on cronus.. i never liked him but id like to hear what u have to say
UGH. I ADORE HIM. HE REALLY IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS IN MEDIA I JUST REALLY ADORE HIM. Hes one of those characters whos really really good to love to hate. I think hes also a really well written example of what an ableist actually looks like instead of some sort of extreme caricature or whatever, I've known so many people like this in real life its one of the most accurate approaches especially if you view him through the lense of him also being some sort of neurodivergent. I think the fact that he and Mitunas tragic backstories (fought a giant evil thing that was connected to kurloz, got a face scar and a severe personality change due to it, no one believes them or knows how to deal with it) is so fascinating because it really starts to paint a picture on why cronus is so jealous of the attention mituna gets
im not the kind if person to assume that his otherkin woes are real or that hes actually dysphoric or whatever, i don't think many of the issues he claims to have are actually issues at all. i think hes an autistic incel who got far too into "nice guy" rhetoric after having a WWII phase. I do think that hes autistic, though. He fucking sucks ass at socializing. I cant believe he falls for MITUNAS shit, like, for as smart as he boasts himself to be they really are ob mutual footing because the two of them are both naive and overly trusting in the other. I think Cronus recognizes all these issues he sees in himself in Mituna, but due to Mituna being higher needs autistic and physically disabled Mituna isnt able to mask like Cronus does, and then Cronus sees Mituna getting successful quads and positive attention and connections and doesn't understand because he thinks Mitunas being rewarded for something he gets punished for.
Beforus is so fixated on medication and positivity and calmness and friendliness that I think niceness and masking go hand in hand for Cronus, especially as a high blood. And I think that means he also thinks that if he were to "be himself" that'd include "reverting" to his old violent castest ways, which he also KNOWS will get him scolded and shit on in his friend group, so he doesn't understand. Can't win while faking, can't win while being genuine. No one wants the normal ones, they just want the broken ones.
I just think hes really parhetic and is a perfect example of how like autistic people can be some of the most ableist people in the world. I also love his and Mitunas chemistry being ppl who hate eachother but willingly choose to hang around eachother because they're on equal footing with eachother and have similar faults, while also having the same backstory. I also just like sexy ableist men sadly I tend to have bad taste.
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middleschoolfursona · 6 months
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literal tears are running down my face as i scroll thru your blog. on it it it feels like im back home.
i just wanna go back man. i just wanna be a kid running around on feralheart and drawing my ocs again and watching silly movies with my friends. it feels like im living a lie every single day of my life since then.
it hurts and fills me with so much shame to say that i feel like a kid, like i stopped mentally aging in like 2012, 2014 at the latest. the dysphoria is strangling. i dont want to describe it but yeah it sucks so bad.
i cant tell anyone in my life this in detail. cus i can feel the callouts. the sneers. the performative disgust. the gleeful hatred. everyone turning on me and making me into a joke. but this experience is so viscerally terrible and real and i cant just get over it and i cant choose to get better. i hate it.
youre the first person ive ever seen who seemed like theyd actually understand and its just overwhelming bcus it felt like i was completely alone. so i just wanted to say thanks for the catharsis of showing me im not beyond understanding. but im sorry if this is all selfish or upsetting. the last thing i wanna do is hurt or upset anyone, so feel free to ignore and delete.
thank you for ur blog and i hope you have a great day/week/month/year/life/forever <3
anon, im so so sorry i didnt answer this one sooner. i kept thinking, "when i get on desktop" but i never ended up back on desktop until i got this new monitor (win!)
i totally feel you, im glad i can bring you (though maybe bittersweet) comfort.
dysphoria and even feelings of 'transness' in places of identity other than gender and sex absolutely exist and are valid, and its really too bad its so stigmatized. you have my <3 and you have my thoughts. its tough, and theres more of us than youd think, hopefully, its an amount that comforts you... and i hope, you can find people who relate to you and you can share trust with and happy memories.
"performative disgust' is a topic i bring up a lot in this kinda discoursing. if i may, its pretty western too.. the need to be combative causes a strange sort of lash-out-culture, where people arent even neccisarily uninformed, its a lack of desire to be informed at all, and instead perform hatred for the acknowledgement of their peers. id know. it was me once. terrible and toxic situation, but its eaten the internet in many spaces....
its tough feeling trapped, unable to move forwards and feeling like youre "wrong". being disabled and growing up disabled makes those kinds of remarks and implications said by some people extra painful to me. and i know lots of us who feel dysphoria surrounding our facets of the self, both gender or non-gender, are neurodivergant as well, and as someone who was in special education, and then my school dropped me by force because i just "wouldnt" do my math, i know how painful it can feel both inside, but then to come forward and have people act like "just move forward" "just understand" "well you can never go back so just be here instead"... its painful.
i hope that between the time you sent this and now, youvbe found someone to be open to... if not, you can send me your discord off anon (wont pub) and we can chat there if you need it... youre certainly not alone anon, just the haters want you to feel that way. dont give in. do your best!
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theoculus124 · 11 months
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I'm bored- No one asked but I'mma answer a bunch of questions from an ask game
0: Height - I think I'm 5ft 4
1: Age - 16
2: Shoe size - size 5, but mainly depends on the shoe brand
3: Do you smoke? - nope
4: Do you drink? - nope
5: Do you take drugs? - nope
6: Age you get mistaken for - 17/18
7: Have tattoos? - nope
8: Want any tattoos? - YESS, I have a whole pinterest board of tattoo ideas
9: Got any piercings? - Used to but now I don't
10: Want any piercings? - Kinda, but at the same time I'm terrified cause I have a stupidly low pain tolerance
11: Best friend? - I have many :) Honestly we could interact once on tumblr and I would consider u my bsf lol
12: Relationship status - single
13: Biggest turn ons - Idk if this means like relationship, or sexual way? But I'mma just take it as relationship way and say honestly being nice and I'll be happy forever
14: Biggest turn offs - being mean for no reason :/, or telling me to stop being sensitive or making fun of my weight, or making fun of my neurodivergent habits etc
15: Favorite movie - don't really have 1 movie that's my fave I love the greatest showman, I love the MHA movies, Ready Player One, Last Avatar, Marvel movies, Disney movies (Also I just saw there's a Bo Burnham movie so that'll probably be in the list once I watch it)
16: I’ll love you if… you're nice :)
17: Someone you miss - I moved house some years ago but I have some close friends where I grew up so I'll probably see them during the summer
18: Most traumatic experience - I have no clue, I also don't know if anything I've gone through counts as drama or if I'm being dramatic and catastrophising the situation. I'd say probably catholic camp that was awful
19: A fact about your personality - I'm unfiltered so idc what the topic of convo is about u can talk to me about anything and I won't judge you ever <3
20: What I hate most about myself - Being so sensitive. Ik I can't help it but still it still sucks so much, mixed with my constant need for hugs/physical affection is like the worst combo lmfao
21: What I love most about myself - I will be a massive simp for u platonically or romantically <3
22: What I want to be when I get older - I'll probably be an engineer, but I also want to be a therapist part time
23: My relationship with my sibling(s) - isn't horrendous but we don't talk much :/
24: My relationship with my parent(s) - it's been alr rn but it's very up and down, some things they say is really hurtful and it's hard to decide upon me being the overly sensitive one or not
25: My idea of a perfect date - Hugs and food and a gay show, and then staying up until late hours of the night just talking about ourselves etc
26: My biggest pet peeves - people who get mad at u for crying at how they've treated by saying "just chill" "you're overreacting" I hate it so much
27: A description of the girl/boy I like - Wilhem from Young royals. Not a desc but still I don't think I need to expand on that lol
28: A description of the person I dislike the most - bigots, terfs, racists -- those kinds of people
29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend - I don't remember the last time I've lied to a friend
30: What I hate the most about work/school - overwhelming pressure and work
31: What my last text message says - I love you
32: What words upset me the most - hearing the word fat triggers me, I understand it's used as a descriptor and that it's being reclaimed as something neutral not negative but because growing up I got called fat in a negative way I only have negative connotations with it therefore I just get so upset when people say that even if they don't mean it in a bad way (Idk if that makes sense but yh)
33: What words make me feel the best about myself - I love u, beautiful
34: What I find attractive in women - physically Idc at all, like I don't have a type of person I'll be into Idc what ur hair colour, body type, face structure/feature are I'll be into you if you have a great personality
35: What I find attractive in men - physically Idc at all, like I don't have a type of person I'll be into Idc what ur hair colour, body type, face structure/feature are I'll be into you if you have a great personality
36: Where I would like to live - probably in a city, but also I don't want anywhere too loud
37: One of my insecurities - My body image
38: My childhood career choice - I don't remember I think artist
39: My favorite ice cream flavor - anything chocolate <3
40: Who I wish I could be - Nick Nelson or Torii from heartstopper
41: Where I want to be right now - I'd love to see my friends and I'd also love to meet up with tumblr mutuals
42: The last thing I ate - coffee? If that doesn't count ice cream
43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately - I have no clue so many people are attractive
44: A random fact about anything - Boston marriages used to be a thing where two wealthy women would get married so they wouldn't have to share their finances with men :) Got shut down when people realised lesbians exist
There ya go I answered all the questions unprompted :)
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fuck-customers · 2 years
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// sui/sh mentions below. y'all have been warned.
my job makes me want to literally end my life. i have honestly stopped looking both ways when crossing the parkinglot bc getting hit by one of the idiot drivers there would be legues better than havjng to go into work. i have started shing again after years because this job is fucking me up mentally
3/4s of the staff are useless/incompetent/genuinely Bad at their jobs and as one of, count them, 5 people who work at the store who can Do their job, and the Only one who has open availability... everything falls on me. like to the point customers and managers from other stores think im a manager but im not.
i cannot become a manager because there's a policy where you need a valid driver's license And an insured car to become one. and i do not/cannot drive.
i dont want to be in retail/food service anymore but what else Is there? i don't drive, i didn't go to college, i've only had two jobs (last one and current one) both in the same area (retail/food service). like, nowhere that isn't what im Stuck In is ever gonna hire me which means im gonna be stuck as a low-wage overworked employee of some bullshit food company forever.
im tired of stupid ass customers who cant be Normal Humans and instead have to yell st my staff because we're out of xyz or they had to wait for their food during a friday lunch rush, or the customers walk into the KITCHEN because my stupid fucking cashiers cannot Stay Up Front and have to instead follow their friend around the store instead of doing their jobs.
im tired of working with a bunch of teenagers who dont even WANT to be working and so they call out half their shifts, show up 30+ minutes late to each shift, dont do their jobs When Theyre Here, and get mad when I call them out on their bull. im tired of the employees who hust cannot do the job right no matter how many times they're told, constantly fucking up simple things because they can't just Stop and Think for one second. and like, i get shit can be hard, im neurodivergent as fuck, and i understand if you need time or help, but tel me instead of doing something wrong and ruining it.
oh! and im tired of a certain lazy-ass manager who does nothing but yell at me and the staff, get mad at things that are their own fault, and sit in the office for most of their shift only to leave two hours early. like??? step up and do ur job and help us and maybe our times and food waste and costs wouldn't be so bad???
like, damn. this place sucks and i dont want to Be Here anymore but where Else am I supposed to go? Christ.
sorry for the rant!!
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trkstrnd · 1 year
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in the spirit of the new year i am going to post some controversial takes
as of january first 2023 i feel
-ice is a social construct
-fancams are edits but edits are not fan cams
-capitalism is a concept fed to people by power hungry politicians who want you to believe that giving everything to keep them in power is better than living a safe, secure life.
-socialism is the way to go.
-dogs are better than cats but only by the tiniest morsel of a whisker upon their fluffy little faces and both are infinitely better than humans
-all reptiles are friend shaped. we just need to be able to read body language.
-insulin should be free (sincerely, a diabetic)
-garlic salt is a completely valid seasoning
-garlic is best vegetable
-vampires need to come up with a vaccine for garlic aversion
-garlic
-rafael silva and sierra mcclain carry 911 lone star on their backs
-tarlos > buddie
-but buddie is cool too
-be kind to each other
-diet cherry coke needs to go back into production
-cool colors are prettier than warm colors
-my friends are the coolest
-lettuce is the worst, most heinous, unethical food to create even in a world with the cattle industry
-climate change is real
-even if you don’t believe it’s real there is quite literally no reason to keep not caring about the environment around you
-like i’m not picking up trash at the park solely because of climate change im picking it up bc the animals might get hurt and it is not aesthetically pleasing
-abolish straws
-or at least just make them a medical supply
-some disabled people need them and that is okay but u don’t need them bestie just lift ur cup
-wood is a better material than plastic to make dishes from.
-small businesses are so good
-only buy from amazon if you need to.
-the extra shipping and time is worth it to help people who need your sales
-billionaires are inherently evil
-and no that is not jealousy
-the ‘american dream’ relies on gentrification
-if you can act, look, sound, like a white man you’ll be successful
-equal opportunity is bullshit
-fatphobia is real
-over the ear headphones > in ear
-ibuprofen is the superior pain relief medication
-flautas are exquisite
-there should be an age cap on all held government positions
-seriously george bush bill clinton and donald trump were all born in the same year, joe biden before them and have held office for the past twenty years
-stop letting people born in the 1940s run a country in 2023
-queer people aren’t indoctrinating your kids. your kids are finding safe spaces.
-dragons are fuckin cool
-let people be who they want to be as long as they don’t harm anyone.
-sharks are BAD ASS
-fish are friends AND food
-good, authentic sushi is worth the investment
-the world has nuance
-sometimes nuance is hard to understand especially to neurodivergent people
-please explain the nuance instead of attacking people who may not get it.
-music has both evolved and devolved
-carlos reyes is autistic.
-autism isn’t a bad thing
-autism speaks is an inherently terrible organization that supports eugenics.
-most addicts, if not all of them, do not choose to be addicts
-let people be people
-be a kind person
-thank you
-i love you all
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golbrocklovely · 2 years
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Unpopular opinion, i think fans are really mean towards Sam and there's not such a big reason behind it. He really wants to help people in his own way and just because his way of coming out with a piece of advice or a way to offer some kind of support is just different from Colby's, that doesn't make him less caring than Colby
Also, i don't understand why people hate on his dumb and wise newsletter or whatever u wanna call it because there aren't many influences who take their time to do something like that (i mean starting from scratch and managing to come out with something, cuz forwarding emails is easy afterwards) and also takes time to find things that might come in handy for fans who need that piece of advice. If Sam does this, even if it's a lot of Internet information and his side notes in that email, he did something good, tho unnecessary, a money grabbing brand. But if Colby comes on Snapchat and starts talking about life, he's a role model and he's so amazing and look how nicely he responds to questions and how nicely he speaks. Colby is way too overrated when doing the bare minimum any influencer should do, like staying in touch with fans and talking about mental health and anxiety and problems that don't go away by clapping ur hands. I appreciate a lot the fact that he talks about this stuff, don't get me wrong, especially because Sam and Colby are 2 of a small number of influences who address these important topics, but when they're both trying to answer their fan's questions or even talk about it how well they can, why try to make a difference between them? One might have a certain pov, while the other one has another pov and that should be alright. Any topic should be seen from more povs, it's not just colby who's right, it's not just sam who's right and u can't stay sam hasn't been through depressive episodes and bad anxiety. If he doesn't talk about these things is strictly his choice, but u can't say that he sounds cold and very objective when talking about stuff because "he didn't go through it"
This thing is literally like u and ur best friend giving the same answer in class but ur best friend gets the credit because "she's prettier"
Where i use u, I'm not talking about u 😂💜
this is so fucking long of a response to you. omg, i apparently have a lot of opinions lol
well, i can only speak on my behalf and say how i feel about the advice both boys give.
while i love the boys a lot, i do think sometimes their advice isn't as universal as they make it seem. i think that sometimes their lack of acknowledgement towards their own privilege makes it hard to want to listen to them. bc they give out advice and think that it will work for everyone listening, when that's just not the case. i do think over the years they gotten better at recognizing when their advice can help and where it can't, but they still struggle to realize that (especially for neurodivergent ppl) their advice doesn't go as deep as it could. or that in general, their advice isn't as prolific as they believe it to be.
like with metalife. one of the major problems i had with it is that a lot of their advice was basic or surface level. a lot of their philosophies weren't that deep. hell, most of the things they said on that site they said on the life project first, so they were just repeating themselves at that point. and while it's great that that worked for some ppl, i think it's also fine to admit that it doesn't work for most fans, especially those dealing with deeper issues. but that's okay. i don't expect snc to have the answers to my mental health issues. they aren't professionals. but i think another major problem was just the fact that anytime they gave advice, it was hard to listen to it knowing that they haven't lived a 10th of the life i have. i don't wish for them to struggle like i have, but when they are miles above me in every which way, it's hard to listen.
as for the split between sam and colby, again, i think it has a lot to do with how they sound. and while sam is genuinely trying to help, i do think that sometimes his words don't quite hit the mark. i think sam has a tendency to just repeat what other ppl say just bc that advice worked for him. which is fine, bc realistically none of us have original thoughts anymore lol, but if the advice was barely advice in the first place…. repeating it and putting your own spin on it lessen it's value.
i think there is also this out of touch attitude that sam can get that colby for the most part doesn't have. like, when sam wrote about not living for your vacations in the dumb and wise email….. like, bro, in this economy? you're telling ppl not to live for vacations, as if they can even get one in the first place?????? you just sound out of touch. i get what he was going for, but there are better ways to have said it. and he makes himself more out of touch by looking up to musk and bezos. i get it, you're a business man. but there is no ethical way to make billions of dollars. and then to keep it all??? even worse. and to top all of that off, he never apologizes for upsetting fans. he'll just ignore things until ppl forget or stop talking about it altogether. and while i get that for some situations, doing it all the time doesn't work. it makes it sound like he doesn't want to listen to fans.
also, i just gotta add this in bc i just remembered it, he has this vibe/attitude/whatever of "feel less, work more". he's surrounds himself in so much business but does little to no introspective work. he doesn't allow himself to feel, and would rather be busy all the time. but that doesn't work for anyone, let alone him. and i think that if he would allow himself to either work thru his emotions or just…. feel for once, he might be able to give good advice.
and while i say all of this, i still genuinely love sam. i can love him and still be annoyed at him tho. both things can be true. bc on a basic level, i feel like he does try his best to give the advice he thinks will work, but it comes across a bit pretentious bc he doesn't recognize his own privilege. and his dumb and wise emails, if i even read them in the first place, i just kinda shrug off and go about my day. sometimes i read them and think "oh that's good advice" but for the most part, i don't pay attention to them.
and as for colby, i think (and i know, at least, i feel this way) a lot of ppl relate to him more than they do sam. maybe it's bc sam is extremely closed off so we don't know as much about him as we do colby. maybe for some ppl (even tho they'll never admit it) they just generally find colby more attractive than sam and thus are more likely to listen to him. who knows, who cares. for me, colby comes in with advice that at least shows hesitancy. he outright refuses to answer questions about mental health problems, and tells those that need help to seek professionals. i don't think i've ever heard sam do that. maybe he just ignores those questions and instead goes for ones he thinks he can answers, maybe i just don't remember him doing what colby does. either way, colby tells does that, and then any of the advice he does gives, he follows it up by saying "this may not work for you, but this is what worked for me" and that alone puts him above sam in my book for giving advice.
that hesitancy shows a more realistic side to him than sam. sam comes in with a certain tone that's just very matter-of-factly, that there's no way he's wrong. colby, bc he's cautious about what he says or at least understands that his words may not help, shows that he acknowledges what he saying. he's not just regurgitating something someone else said in a book he read.
and i think as much as colby claims to be private or closed off, he tells a lot more than he shows. i don't think he realizes how much stuff he's actually told fans, and just that bit of vulnerability helps to make a connection. that's why i believe he probably does struggle with depression and, at the very least, anxiety. he's shown us what he's like after being super anxious all day. he's told us the stories of needing to take tums everyday at school. and as for the depression, which i know is just an assumption on my part, there are things he has said in the past (like not being able to leave his couch for weeks on end, like feeling like he was on autopilot, like isolating himself from ppl when he's feeling bad) that makes me believe he has struggled with depression without realizing it bc those are things i went thru as well. and that, i think, helps fans connect with him more. if sam struggles the same way colby does, we wouldn't know bc he doesn't tell us. and i get that he has every right to his privacy and that he doesn't have to tell us that information. but bc colby has, with or without his own knowledge, means ppl connect with him more and want to listen to his advice.
all of this being said, if you don't agree with me, totally fine. you might relate to what sam says more. that's great. if his advice works for you, please listen to it and use it. i'm just saying it doesn't work that way for me, but that's okay. i don't look at sam as less than bc of it. i still love sam. he's just a bit annoying sometimes lol
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inkedintothepaper · 2 years
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brutally psychoanalyze me, please
eye-dunn0-kins.carrd.co
Aight so first off you’re a Ninjago kinnie, specifically kinning Jay, Lloyd, and Cole so you probably have daddy issues.
Next thing I notice is that you kin the character of a man who died irl recently so like yikes… also the kinning of people is a bit iffy in my opinion but I think you mean the characters so like idk. You do you hun.
Next we got Roman from sanders sides so obviously you are very flashy, either personality or clothing wise. Maybe both. You’re also a theater geek.
Now after this we got a homestuck list. In all honestly I read the first 3 volumes of homestuck and. Did Not Understand Anything. I mostly read the commentary on the bottom of the pages. But you’re probably neurodivergent.
Kinning of sonic? You hide from your problems but ur super friendly. I promise no one is gonna hate you for needing help babes.
RTFG Tails? You have IMPECCABLE taste in media to watch first of all. Second, you’re treated like a sidekick more than you’d like but you don’t take shit from anyone. You are a badass, ily /p.
Ghostbuster Kim, aight p cool. Not much to note here tbh.
Kinning Ted, you are so epic and tubular and you’ve been put down a lot in your early years but you made some good friends and you can do awesome shit with them.
Michael from BMC, you have self esteem issues.
Cecil and Carlos from WTNV; you are part of the alphabet mafia.
Some fnaf kins, maybe some abandonment issues, I’m sorry-
Both Zim AND Dib????? You have a superiority complex mixed with an inferiority complex. You’re also a burnt out gifted kid and feel isolated from your peers.
Max from Sam and Max, you are feral and I love you for it.
Tamaki Suoh, you are flamboyant as fuck and also main character complex.
Space? You are unknown to yourself and others.
Cat, Border collie, fox? You are gay.
Shapeshifter? You feel as if you cannot show your true self to others.
Ghost? You feel dead inside sometimes, feeling an overwhelming sadness. It gets better I prommy <3
Finally, a slime/enderman hybrid? You have immaculate tastes and also you feel like a monster sometimes.
Anyways that’s me demolishing you for your kins. Other people can send me their kin lists too, I’ll judge them also <3
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I’m finally (slowly) getting more comfortable with sharing my ugly thoughts with my friend and therapist. And it’s actually really validating to see both their responses as incredibly non judgmental and in fact very sympathetic. They are both responding with sentiments of, yah ur experience is hard and sounds exhausting. Even typing this out is making me want to cry. To feel seen and heard by people that don’t even share my experience means the world to me.
I’m also able to share these nasty thoughts more as I start to gain better understanding of them and dive deeper into the roots of it all. I can rationally see that these thoughts don’t need to be who I am. They are simply thoughts, not action. Once there is action tho, then I can quickly become the abuser I fear so much to become. Which is what motivates me to be on top of my shit. Perhaps fear of becoming an abuser is not the best motivator bc it’s still fear driving me. But I know I’ll get to a point where love and respect for myself first and foremost will be my main drive.
It’s just so crazy to think all I needed as a child was this validation. Something as simple as my parents just listening to me. I already felt so different from my whole family bc I’m mixed, and later realizing I’m queer + neurodivergent + non binary. I just felt so isolated growing up esp being the only child.
All of this is just affirming the fact that , in order to heal relational trauma, u must be in active relationships. I know it’s fairly common for ppl with BPD to just say fuck it all and not form any close relationships as a form of “protection”. And I feel this way a lot too. But I kno that in the end this is more harmful than anything. I have so much love to give and so much love I’m open to receiving.
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simonalkenmayer · 2 years
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Hey, so i saw ur posts on npd and i wanted to ask question. I have npd symptoms/traits i think but im not toxic or abusive (at most , i hurt ppl but its bc of my autism symptoms and not understanding people and people not communicating with me in a way i understand and not being good at social stuff.. also i ask for validation sometimes bc of npd symptoms and sometimes im overwhelming but i dont realize it until they say something but then after i try to stop...) plus my symptoms dont rly effect others mostly, unless i vent in public but i dont realize it until its pointed out to me, it mostly only effects me (at most, sometimes I vent about my creations not getting attention or as much attentions compared to others sharing their creations (but only to my friends in vent chats and not to their face), i compliment myself (even if i dont believe it, i have sorta a inferiority complex and superiority complex, i get mad and depressed if people are better than me but dont lash out at them or anything, i just feel very bitter), i instantly feel depressed and anxious and feel VERY inferior and scared and angry or frustrated if i make a mistake and/or am wrong about something & someone tells me So it doesnt register that im wrong for at least a few hours to a day & im prone to misunderstanding people and not understanding tone so that adds to it lol autism, im self destructive, im very very internally destructive and lash out at myself and blame myself, i have to compare myself to those i admire and say what i enjoy about my own creations and/or myself and what i like about myself or my ego/self esteem cracks, soo whenever someone says anything nice to me i hold it very dear to my heart, i get depressed if people arent nice to me or say anything good about me because it makes me lose motivation and makes my depression worse/makes me depressed, my ego/self esteem is very fragile so i need consistent positive interaction and for people to be nice to me alot, i need frequent validation/reassurance, etc., i also have empathy issues which causes issues in relating to and understanding people but also autism thing lol i have trouble registering people as people... ppl are like aliens or "other" to me , i dont feel human.. i dont understand ppl and what they need or want unless they tell me). What does this mean ? ?? help :c
That’s not narcissism.
You’re experiencing difficulties. Rather I think it more likely that you have faced narcissistic people in your life who make you feel badly for your neurodivergence.
Narcissistic people manipulate others, gaslight, lie, rewrite history, play victim without being one, signal virtue, need attention, do things like storm out, in the worst cases, they can also be incredibly abusive and vicious. Vindictive. The behavior comes from an internal issue. All behaviors either protect the person or absolve them of guilt in an effort to reestablish control over the situation and feel safe.it’s not as simple as reacting to actual rudeness. Essentially it amounts to using other people as a means to prop up their own sense of self-esteem. They need constant validation, constant deference, everything their way. They do things to get a rise out of others so that they can gaslight.
To be clear it’s possible to have multiple mental health issues, and many do overlap. They sometimes overlap with physical issues as well. A physically disabled person can be narcissistic. A person who is bipolar can be narcissistic, and so on. The word describes behavioral patterns and concepts of what other people mean. It describes the feeling of being the intended center of reality.
If you worry, then you are likely fine or on the path toward overcoming any narcissistic tendencies you may have. most commonly the last thing a narcissistic person will ever say that they are is narcissistic. They have convinced themselves they’re right.
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fefairys · 2 years
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i saw your post about jake being autistic i feel like i need to say somethings about it because its sort of bothering me
i wouldnt say jake was being a good friend. yes, jane should have communicated how she felt and it was wrong of her to blow up on him and she should apologize, but he was only ever messaging her to talk about his relationship problems with dirk. he forgot her birthday too.
its understandable why he shut dirk out and avoided him for days but he still shouldnt have done it. it was still wrong of him.
saying someone who is neurodivergent shouldnt be held accountable for their actions, even when those actions the result of their neurodivergency, is unreasonable. he hurt people, regardless of how or why and he needs to apologize for that and im saying this as someone whos also neurodivergent.
i think ur missing the point. good god i don’t want to homestuck discourse especially over shit like characters MORALITY omfg… but i have a couple minutes so fuck it
i’m just upset that hussie and the other writers just HATE JAKE SO MUCH like in the authors commentary whenever jake is mentioned hussies like “LOL FUCK THAT GUY” and it’s just like. for what?!?
yeah i know he did ‘bad’ things but none of them are fucking INEXCUSABLE like all he did was some social blunders?? which are completely understandable given he grew up ALONE?? like we’re talking homestuck it’s not like he murdered any of his friends :/ he just made some mistakes and if i was his friend i would forgive him
i’m not saying he’s totally innocent just that he doesn’t deserve the RAMPANT fucking hate he gets!
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eanul-rmbl · 7 days
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Thanatos and Nyx are in my opinion the people who understand Hypnos the least on a personal level, because they for the most part refuse to engage with him in an environment where they’re equals. Than is always trying to be the bossy older brother, Nyx is always trying to be the holier-than-thou mother figure, and because Hypnos doesn’t respond to either archetypes super well due to both his neurodivergence and personality his family never really get to know him as he truly is.
Megaera is a middle ground between the previous two and Zagreus, because Megaera (though she only engages with him on a more professional level) at least thinks he’s charming and sweet. She does riff off him a lot, which stems from her own more mitigated superiority complex, but because she and Hypnos have no prior dynamic outside of coworkers and maybe friends its a lot easier for her to bridge the gap and get to know Hypnos as he truly is.
Hypnos towards Meg is a bit of a different matter, in that he genuinely likes her and wants things to be good for her, but he buys into her superiority complex and idolizes her for her outward persona. He thinks she’s more perfect than she is, and got a little disappointed when proven wrong. However, he doesn’t really perceive this as a fault of hers and rather more a miscalculation on his own part, and thus is perfectly able to approach and get to know her on more even grounds now.
Zagreus is a bit of a difficult question in that Zag had *never* had much of a dynamic with Hypnos before the events of the game. They were acquaintances, sure, friends even if the favour Hyonos grants him says anything, but Zag by the nature of the game’s mechanics can’t really have much of a deep bond with anyone, and so is a bit of a blank slate. Zag approaches Hypnos with no preconception and throughout the course of the story develops his own idea of who Hypnos is, which is naturally more accurate than anyone else’s (and thus, automatically healthier).
However, Zag’s self-developed understanding of who Hypnos is as a person is not necessarily the most favourable. If Zag’s developed a correct understanding of who Hypnos is as a person and makes fun of him anyways, it’s a notable mark against their relationship- same goes for anyone. Regardless, though, Zag is the one person in the House that makes the most effort to bond with Hypnos, and by the end of it accepts the title of Hypnos’ best friend. This shows that even if Zag has his own annoyances with Hypnos, he still cares and wants Hypnos to be happy.
(If you want the person in the House who’s actually the least facetious towards Hypnos, Lord Hades himself is your man. Hades knows what Hypnos is like, and though he does chastise him for being a poor worker, Hades more than literally anyone in the House compliments Hypnos for something he actively cares about- the thing he enjoys most, art. Nobody else pays attention to Hypnos’ interests besides Zag with the autograph, and even that came with some griping 😅)
All the above is my off-the-cuff ramblings, opinions, and interpretations of the dynamics in game, so things may be more inaccurate than if I thought them over a bit longer. It’s just how I feel about the story at the moment :)
oh my goodness my you are so right!!! I completely forgot about Hades! I'm going to add him as someone as an antithesis chapter to the Nyx chapter then.
Tho, w Megaera I do think he has this idolization of strong or unbeatable things, which was what initially spawned his first crush on her. Mostly because of his initial voiceline to dying to Megaera, his being a fan of Asterius, and, sigh, not being a romanceable option............. I wish he were romanceable..... anyways, I think Zagreus can't romance Hypnos because Zagreus keeps dying. And he's yet to learn to find a different type
Like he's a fan of Asterius for being so strong
And he breaks up with Meg becos he thought her to be unbeatable until she just kept dying to Zag.
But ur so right!! I needed this! Ty!!!!
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