I have been to banquets held in her honor—and she did not attend them, sometimes she wandered the streets all night or locked herself in silence, like the calm before the storm—but these were not the whims of a star, not at all, rather the outbursts of rage of a captive beast. Alcohol often brought liberation, of course, not always, no, not always, and not completely, if you remember the depth of her silent sadness. We swore to each other that we would definitely meet, but we only got to see each other once more. I think we met at the airport, at least where there were a lot of people. Despite the crowd, we noticed each other, exchanged glances-first surprised, then delighted, and then, a moment later, when we lost sight of each other, longing. At least, I hope that Ava Gardner had a similar feeling. Someone did not fail to point out to me that she had changed a lot. But I did not agree with this: the same proudly planted head, the same cold and melancholy eyes, the same firmly compressed mouth — evidence of inflexibility in both refusals and desires. I saw the same arrogant and mysterious animal, which only once condescended to revelations: one evening Ava Gardner told me that when she was a child and then a teenager, her father always worked in the field, and her mother washed clothes from morning to evening and from evening to morning. So the future actress saw only her parents' backs for fifteen years. Since then, she couldn't stand the sight of anyone's backs, even if the owner of the back personally drew up a fabulous contract for her. No, Ava Gardner needed to see a face, eyes, and hear a voice addressed to her, which, however, is necessary for all of us. But it was becoming a desperate necessity for her. Of course, there were many eyes looking at her, but she was always the first to look away, perhaps because of insincerity, or perhaps to get ahead of the one who looked at her! So what! What does sincerity mean, the truth, when it comes to Ava Gardner! Sincerity, the truth are necessary only for the weak or the cautious, and she was not like that.

-En essay by the French writer Françoise Sagan, Feb. 1990 (pt 3 of 4)

“I shall live badly if I do not write, and I shall write badly if I do not live.” ― Francoise Sagan

ITT 1981

"Tutto ciò che vorremmo conoscere dell'amore: una dolcezza attenta, una gioia appassionata e soprattutto la tenerezza e un'indomita fiducia, tutto ciò che non abbiamo mai avuto e di cui avremo solo l'illusione, il simulacro che noi stessi ci fabbrichiamo, spesso nel momento meno opportuno."

Françoise Sagan - Il guinzaglio

Françoise Sagan por Philippe Le Tellier

Francoise Sagan, Bonjour Tristee.

Fountainebleau, France.

March 2024

bonjour tristesse

Bonjour Tristesse (1958)

Director:  Otto Preminger

Cinematographer: Georges Périnal

Starring: Jean Seberg, Deborah Kerr, David Niven, Mylène Demongeot, and Juliette Gréco

-𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌̧𝚘𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚂𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚗, "𝘉𝘰𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘛𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦" (@uaravsh )

"Forse l’amore, a volte, si poteva riassumere in questo modo: il desiderio di raccontare le cose soltanto ad una persona."

F. Sagan

From the top of Alvaro Siza's great curved apartment building, the eye looking toward East Berlin would have been little if one of its tenants had not "decorated" it with that uncertain graffiti, which has become one of the city's symbols. The inspiration was probably the weeping eye from the movie poster based on Francoise Sagan's novel.

Good morning Sadness, more than yesterday, less than tomorrow

AVA GARDNER

I can only say that she was beautiful, and lonely, and generous. And she also liked to laugh… Sometimes.

In fact, I should not have said these posthumous words, although it is true that Ava Gardner and I met, talked, and had fun, although it is also true that we were brought together by idle evenings and sleepless nights, petty quarrels, shared views and laughed our heads off. In short, we had been almost friends for a whole month. And it was a long time ago, at the time when Ava Gardner starred in the movie Mayerling. Handsome Omar Sharif, her son in the script, had a completely paternal affection for her in life — she awakened this feeling in all those men whose hearts she did not break. Despite the fleeting nature of this meeting, which nevertheless entered my life, I imagined how the choir of those people who were attracted to her alive was burying her mortal remains -- a lot of male voices whispering hackneyed and passionate words: "What did you like about me? Why did you leave me? Why didn't you believe me? Why did you tell me all this?"… A male discord in which passion combined longing and misunderstanding; however, the audience sang the same melodies, but in rapture, because Ava Gardner was different. She was more beautiful than her rivals, more immoral and uninhibited. And no one was more lonely than she was. She was like a very beautiful and therefore very noble animal… and very strange. She gave her lovers no choice, no explanation, they had no future with her, because her beauty emphasized the gap—sometimes implicit on the screen—between sensuality and vulgarity.

And Ava Gardner's career was inexplicably paradoxical: no falls, no fame, no skyrocketing, no genuine recognition among colleagues; beauty overwhelmed everything else in her, she played only her beauty. She was not a prisoner of her own beauty, like Bardot, was not wounded by it, like Marilyn Monroe, was not driven to madness by it, like Greta Garbo. The calm beauty existed as if parallel to its owner. That's why even women loved her: none of them could imagine an actress at the family hearth, and no one was offended by her for that; no man could imagine Ava Gardner as a faithful wife, although some were desperate because of this impossibility.

-En essay by the French writer Françoise Sagan, Feb. 1990 (pt 1)

My short novel, Revelation, published in February 2024 by Incunabula Media, was inspired, in part, by these four novels.

Currently reading this, and I must say - its quite nice to drift from depressing literature and into something real and telling.

The narrators of this novel are all striving to avoid loneliness, regardless of the cost. They want romance and relationships that are forever exciting and fulfilling. I see a lot of myself in the women, their voices and actions remind me of my young teens where all I wanted was an abundance of feeling and excitement.

I am currently reading A Certain Smile, which I so far prefer over Bonjour Tristesse, although both have beautiful titles. I highly recommend these to anyone who loves simplicity with an undertone of harrowing fear, both are realistic and true love stories to their core.

During Winter, it is nice to drift into the early spring and late summers of Paris.

If you are a coquette/miumiu/faunlet/nymph3t girl pls read this book it's sooooo underrated in the coquette community

It's literally abt a girl doing horrible things bc she's in love with her father and wants him to herself 💔💔💔 She's suuuper relatable istg you won't regret reading it like I was felt on all levels <3