#fem!obi wan kenobi | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aniharas · 3 months

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𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 | 𝘰𝘯𝘦

pairing: anakin skywalker x padawan!fem!reader

summary: you and anakin meet almost every other day to break the jedi code and indulge in each other's lust. but when you start noticing a difference in how he treats you after every hookup, you find it hard to decide if your secret relationship is good for either of you.

warnings: implied sexual content, miscommunication, angst, hurt/comfort

wc: 6.6+ split into three parts

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

a/n: inspired by blouse by clairo!

Morning bloomed over the bustling city of Coruscant, the rays of sunshine peeking through every window and curtain, including your own. Typically, their warmth would have been enough to stir you awake. But you were already awake, and the warmth pouring from the window could never rival the warmth of the Jedi Knight lying beside you in bed.

You and Anakin have ended up like this every other night for around a month. After each tryst, every nerve in your brain screamed at your body to cease your meetings. It was wrong; you both swore an oath to live under the Jedi Code. It also would insult your master, Obi-Wan, who just so happens to be Anakin's master. If your relationship with him had been exposed, it would reflect badly on Obi-Wan.

But the way his fingertips grazed across your bare skin felt like a slow, sensual fire, and it would easily burn all your self-warnings and anxieties away. That feeling was befitting, as you felt that described Anakin perfectly. He was a slow-building fire, growing each second the more he gave in to his selfish desires. Knowing he wanted you like this filled you with satisfaction like no other. You loved enveloping all five of your senses in him. The scent and taste of sweat beading across his honeyed skin; his long, dirty-blonde locks in between your fingers as his lips enveloped yours; the sight of him gazing at you every time you laid beneath him, as if you were his first meal after months of starvation, his own shiny treasure after a decade-long journey. The sound of his heartbeat would slowly lull you to sleep on those nights, and it had you wishing it could be like that forever.

Of course, that was wishful thinking. Every night you met with him, you felt your attraction for him grow. At first, it was a small crush, but now your feelings for him were big enough to swallow you whole. Every waking thought was about him. When you were out on missions with Obi-Wan, all that consumed your mind was when you would get to see Anakin again. Even as he lay next to you at night, you would still see him as you shut your eyes. It was like he was a sickness, slowly creeping across every part of your brain until it drove you crazy. It was embarrassing to admit that you didn't necessarily want to recover from the sickness that was Anakin Skywalker.

That's why you dreaded every morning after your hookups. You hated how badly you wanted his attention, which was something you never received outside of those late-night divulgences. The same eyes that reveled in the curves of your body the night before would barely lay upon you in broad daylight. It ate you alive every time you glanced at him in the halls of the Jedi Temple, only for him to walk past you like you were a ghost. Every time he did look at you was nearly unrecognizable, his gaze cold and unforgiving, usually accompanied by a scolding that you didn't even deserve in the first place. You knew that absolutely nobody could know about what went on between you and him, but you believed he could spare a "hello" or two.

You shifted around in bed to take in the awe that was the resting Jedi beside you. Then came the dilemma of whether you wanted to wake him up or not. He had a lot of duties to attend to, but you could never quell your selfish desires for him. You decided to stay put and enjoy your last moments with him for the day, admiring how the slow-rising sun cast its light onto Anakin's skin, his bare body illuminated like a god's.

Unfortunately, the sun was enough to awaken him. The moment you saw him stir, you hastily adjusted yourself into a believable (and provocative) sleeping position and let your eyes flutter shut. You didn't dare take a peek, as you felt that Anakin would be able to feel your secret gaze. After you heard what sounded like stretching, the weight of the bed shifted. You weren't a fan of how cold you immediately felt in his absence.

Even though your eyes were shut, you had the feeling that he hadn't laid his eyes upon you yet. You heard his footsteps making their way across your room, the rustling of clothes hastily being put on. Anakin, look at me, you silently begged. Please talk to me. Wake me up. Do something, anything to let me know you acknowledge me. A few more footsteps. The sound of your door opening. The sound of it shutting.

Just that easily, Skywalker was gone without a word or a glance. Your vision blurred over, rapidly-forming hot tears dropping with every blink. You knew it was pathetic to cry, especially if you were supposed to be used to it by now.

But you allowed yourself to be selfish for one last time today as you quietly sobbed into your sheets, burying your face into where he laid minutes before. You took in his scent, memorized all the aches in your body from the night prior, mentally restarting the timer as to when you would see him again. This never-ending cycle seemed to be doing more bad than good, but you would rather let every building in Coruscant fall than lose what you had with him, even if it was slowly eating at you from the inside.

All you needed was to pass the time until the next time you met up with him. Master Kenobi just so happened to need your help today. Today you were going with your master to Kamino, in hopes to unravel a Separatist plot to halt clone production.

"What did I tell you about being so reckless, young one?"

You kept tending to Master Kenobi's minor injuries, hoping every compression or bandage would help steer away from his inevitable lecture.

The mission on Kamino had been more chaotic than expected, with droids flanking from the heavens and the seas. You weren't too sure as to why you were brought along only to pilot his spacecraft, but had you not been there, your master might have fallen to his untimely death.

"Master, if I recall correctly, my recklessness helped save you when you were hurtling towards the sea," you remarked, glancing up at Kenobi only to be met with a reprimanding, but worried stare.

"I owe you my life, but you mustn't confuse recklessness for bravery, padawan," he said, then moving to examine your own injuries. Obi-Wan wouldn't have been upset with you saving him had there not been relentless droid-fire at your spacecraft as you moved in to save him. Some of the droid-fire had scored your side and shoulders as you had pulled your master to safety. He took your medical supplies and began tending to you instead. "You take after Anakin a little too well. I'm beginning to wonder if I am the problem," he joked with a small smile, though his eyes told a different story.

It was true, you and Anakin were very similar. You both were late-bloomer Jedi, you being a Force-sensitive slave child discovered during a Separatist base raid. The Jedi Council, more specifically Master Yoda, decided you would be a powerful asset to the Republic, as you were well-versed in Separatist-tactics, war strategies, and new bases and equipment. Master Windu reluctantly suggested you receive Jedi training in order to protect yourself and eventually lead missions involving eradicating the Separatist party. Seeing Obi-Wan's success with training Anakin into a fine Jedi Knight, the Council thought it would be fitting for him to train you as well.

"Maybe you are the problem, seeing as you almost let your padawan die," a sharp voice cut straight through your thoughts, compelling you to sit up straight and keep your head down. Anakin had barged into the medical ward, making a beeline straight towards you and your master. Once again, his eyes never once met yours, his business strictly with Obi-Wan. Seeing his blatant ignorance of your presence filled you with dread like no other, stronger than any feeling or injury in the raid on Kamino.

"What were you thinking? I didn't bring my padawan, too much was at stake here," Anakin chastised arrogantly, his glare at his master felt by everybody in the ward. "(L/N) and Ahsoka are not ready for this type of assignment. They're not capable."

Was that all he thought of you as? Merely a toy to play with every other night, with no further power or significance? Silent anger bubbled up inside you once more, culminating in your tear ducts, threatening to spill at any moment. Your master noticed your discomfort, his features expressing concern before turning to his former padawan.

"I thought you would be better at reading the room, young one," Obi-Wan remarked with a sigh, taking Anakin by the shoulder and escorting him out of the ward. You watched them walk away forlornly, a single tear slipping down your bruised cheek.

"Could you get your hand off my shoulder?!" Anakin exclaimed erratically in the hallways, lurching his shoulder forward to rid itself of his master's hand. He knew he was never the best at settling his emotions, but this assignment had really put him on edge.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to be mad at Obi-Wan for asking you to come along or to be mad at you for accepting and pulling such a rash maneuver. No, he had every right to be upset at you. Knowing you were brought along put him on edge. Anxiety coursed through his blood with every step and slash of his lightsaber, seizing his muscles, and causing missteps and bad judgments.

The moment he had Separatist henchman, Ventress, cornered at the edge of the facility hangar, he knew the Jedi Council needed him to close in and make the arrest. However, he couldn't shake the thought of her escaping with you in the vicinity, so he made the order to execute her. Unfortunately, he was a second too late as she managed to escape.

Despite successfully defending Kamino and driving out the Separatists, Anakin couldn't bring himself to care about any of it. He hadn't seen you or his master since the Republic's forces first landed. With every droid he destroyed, every shot he deflected, he couldn't help but think that you were dead or captured. He tried his hardest to focus, but you invaded his mind the way the droids invaded Kamino, and Anakin didn't have much luck keeping you out as he did with the clone planet. He felt you in every corner of his body and brain, influencing his every thought, every movement. He knew he needed to report back to his own ship and inform the Council of the raid and the aftermath. He was going to, until he laid his eyes on you and Obi-Wan, both visibly injured and limping towards the medical ward. At that moment, it was like he was a man possessed, one foot stomping after the other like a madman. He seemed oblivious to all the clones, medical droids, and generals he shoved out of his way just so his path to you was clear. Alas, you were relatively okay, and now he was being lectured by his old master.

"With all due respect, Anakin, (Y/N) is my padawan to discipline, not yours. You don't see me scolding Ahsoka whenever she has her flashy ideas," Obi-Wan said, still ushering his former down the hall, far away from the medical ward.

It was almost like with every step he took away from the medical ward, the more strain it put on his body. It felt harder to breathe, harder to move. Every fiber of his being was tense, and you were the culprit.

"If she is your padawan, then you should do a better job of keeping her alive. Do you think I want to worry about that?!" Anakin bellowed, his eyes blown open as if he were a rabid animal. He didn't even realize he was shaking until Obi-Wan gripped him by the shoulders to steady him.

"(Y/N) is more than capable of handling these situations. If only you paid more attention to her, you would recognize that she is a reckless, growing talent, just like you."

Anakin fought the urge to laugh at his master for thinking he knew you better than he himself did. Obi-Wan would never know you the way he did. Pay more attention to her? You had planted yourself in his mind and taken root the moment you became Obi-Wan's apprentice. He was intrigued by your history and felt like he was drawn to you, dare he say bonded. From that point, it was only a matter a time before the stars that were Anakin Skywalker and (Y/N) (L/N) collided. The supernova that was your first night together had changed him, but he didn't know if it was for better or for worse. Frustrated at his master, he said nothing in response, trudging away to return to his duties.

Not amused, Obi-Wan let him escape the conversation, but not without getting in his last word. "You worry too much about someone you barely even give the time of day."

Anakin stopped in his tracks, suppressing the urge to fling his master back into the wall. Why must he always speak on things he knew nothing about? He had to keep away from you for his own sanity, for the sake of his role as a Jedi Knight. The late-night trysts were already enough to throw him off, what more if he had spent more time with you? What more if his eyes met your ever-curious, teasing eyes more than he had to? Any touch from you would make him unravel and leave him vulnerable. He hated how easily you had him wrapped around your finger, and he hated the fact that you didn't know it even more.

He had to be selfish with you, keeping you close during the nights and pushing you away anywhere else. You were part of the little faith that he had in the Republic, the faith he had in himself. You made him feel truly needed, desired, and loved. He was already falling for the hedge maze that was you, and if he tried to navigate you more, he would only end up more lost. However, thanks to Obi-Wan, he had to be even more selfish with you. He needed you alive, and he was willing to do whatever it took to keep you out of harm's way, even if it meant stunting your growth as a Jedi.

finally posting the very first anakin fic i ever wrote onto this site!! hope u enjoy and don't cringe at it like i do haha

next chapter

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #fem!reader #clone wars #hurt/comfort #angst #obi wan kenobi

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just-dreaming-marvel · 2 years

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The Bond Between Us MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

STAR WARS MASTERLIST

Qui-Gon Jinn discovers you and your twin brother, Anakin Skywalker, on Tatooine after being stranded there during a mission. He senses excellent power in the Force in you and Anakin. The Jedi Order takes a chance on the two of you, not without strict guidelines. A bond is slowly made between two Jedi, pushing the boundaries of the ancient Order.

This is the story of power, war, friendship, order, and love.

MAIN STORY CHAPTERS

THE PHANTOM MENACE

ONE / TWO / THREE / FOUR

ATTACK OF THE CLONES

FIVE / SIX / SEVEN / EIGHT / NINE / TEN / ELEVEN

THE CLONE WARS

TWELVE / THIRTEEN / FOURTEEN / FIFTEEN / SIXTEEN / SEVENTEEN / EIGHTEEN / NINETEEN / TWENTY / TWENTY-ONE / TWENTY-TWO / TWENTY THREE / TWENTY-FOUR / TWENTY FIVE / TWENTY-SIX / TWENTY SEVEN / TWENTY-EIGHT / TWENTY-NINE / THIRTY / THIRTY-ONE / THIRTY-TWO / THIRTY-THREE / THIRTY-FOUR / THIRTY-FIVE / THIRTY-SIX / THIRTY-SEVEN / THIRTY-EIGHT

REVENGE OF THE SITH

THIRTY-NINE / FORTY / FORTY-ONE / FORTY-TWO / FORTY-THREE / FORTY-FOUR

OBI-WAN KENOBI

FORTY-FIVE / FORTY-SIX / FORTY-SEVEN / FORTY-EIGHT / FORTY-NINE / FIFTY / FIFTY-ONE / FIFTY-TWO / FIFTY-THREE / FIFTY-FOUR / FIFTY-FIVE

REBELS

FIFTY-SIX

A NEW HOPE

FIFTY-SEVEN / FIFTY-EIGHT / FIFTY-NINE / SIXTY / SIXTY-ONE / SIXTY-TWO / SIXTY-THREE / SIXTY-FOUR

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

SIXTY-FIVE / SIXTY-SIX / SIXTY-SEVEN / SIXTY-EIGHT / SIXTY-NINE / SEVENTY

RETURN OF THE JEDI

SEVENTY-ONE / SEVENTY-TWO / SEVENTY-THREE / SEVENTY-FOUR / SEVENTY-FIVE / SEVENTY-SIX / SEVENTY-SEVEN

THE MANDALORIAN / THE BOOK OF BOBA FETT

SEVENTY-EIGHT / SEVENTY-NINE / EIGHTY

THE FORCE AWAKENS

EIGHTY-ONE / EIGHTY-TWO / EIGHTY-THREE

THE LAST JEDI

EIGHTY-FOUR / EIGHTY-FIVE / EIGHTY-SIX

THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

EIGHTY-SEVEN / EIGHTY-EIGHT / EIGHTY-NINE

ASKS / QUESTIONS / ONE SHOTS

AGES

PLAYLIST

REUNITED

HIS TURN

I no longer do tag lists, just follow and interact and be patient.

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shapelytimber · 23 days

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I'm cooking, but for now take my fem Obi-Wan sketches :)

"Well, of course I knew him, he was me"

I've said it once, but I'll say it again : making every character in star wars a woman is my white whale

[COMMISSIONS]

PS : I've never seen the 3d animated clone wars show, this is only based on the movies

#star wars sapphic au #obi wan kenobi #star wars original trilogy #star wars prequels #fem obi wan kenobi #art #my art #digital art #fanart #star wars fanart #sketch #sketch portrait

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ninjigma · 7 months

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It is finally October! Lots of art I have planned for this month, but for now take this character study for fem!Obi-Wan. Because I love her (wrinkles, grey hair, wide shoulders, and all) and thus wanted to kick off my birthday month with her specifically.

Stay tuned for plenty more, and happy October everyone!

#there she is #in all her ginger glory #I honestly hate my birthday #but I am doing this to try and make it better #encourage happy thoughts #with happy art #or at least art that makes me happy #some of the pieces I planned are less then happy #but I hope you like em all the same #fem obi wan #afab obi wan #obi wan kenobi #my art #star wars #tattoos #scars

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susanoosama01 · 1 month

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She does not have a beard to play with when thinking...

Higher quality under the cut!

#star wars #sw #obi-wan kenobi #female obi wan kenobi #fem!wan #mommywan #obi wan kenobi fanart #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker fanart #these two🙄#anakin is a little shit #anakin is also an older lady lover so...

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boofrilly · 4 months

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Fem obikin ily

fem obikin save me pls

#star wars #art #my art #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #obikin #wlw #fem!obikin #genderbend #artists on tumblr #mommy milkers #mommywan save me

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liltaireissocute · 10 months

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I had to make a choice that was not mine

I had to say goodbye for the last time

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im-poe-dameron · 2 years

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CELESTIAL SERENITIES

➔CLONE WARS ARC #01: SUCCIDUOUS

a/n: the bitch is back on the obi-wan whore train and i'm dropping yet another series. basically this was built on the plot of a single sex-pollen one shot with this man and i figured why not add "feelings". i started this way back in early 2021 and was unable to finish it and i honestly think this is the longest i've spent on a single smut story. so i hope you enjoy!

this starts directly before the clone wars and will have several arcs to get to the new show.

summary: once friends, now strangers, you come across obi-wan in a place you certainly didn't expect. only for things to go awry a few hours in.

word count: 9.1k+

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader (the name astra is used but it's still reader insert)

warnings: explicit AF SO MINORS GO AWAY, cussing, angst, past feelings coming up, sex-pollen, hair pulling if you squint (on both sides), p in v sex, fingering, alcohol consumption, slight rough sex, creampie, gratuitous description of emotions, unhappy ending.

next chapter | masterlist

“I am never getting that drunk again.”

A saying everyone uses for when they’ve consumed enough alcohol to believe they can literally do anything. You wanted to say the whole night was a blur. That you blacked out somewhere between him finding you and stumbling in your bedroom a few hours later. Except you couldn’t get the images out of your head. They remained stuck, burned behind your eyelids, as the lovely ache between your legs began to show with each slight shift you made in bed.

“I’m never getting that drunk again,” you muttered, too exhausted to use your voice fully and already feeling the comings of a hangover. One that would no doubt have you sprinting out of bed to find a bathroom.

Going back to sleep would help. It would rid your mind of the thoughts that seemed to plague it, only the second you closed your eyes...there it was. Like a holofilm on loop it played and played, seemingly clearer each time. The sounds you made when he touched you, how his skin—radiating warmth—felt against yours.

Damn you for even suggesting a change in drinks. The cooler was enough for both of you and yet something came over you—a certain memory of the both of you getting into trouble. Usually with a bottle of alcohol he had managed to steal from his master’s room.

He had a job to do and drinking with a former friend of his was not the way to do it. What seemed like a good idea at the time now felt like a horrible act to wake up to the very next day. Only eventually you’d have to face the music and get on with it. You just wished you had more time to think things through; an explanation to why you took the drink in the first place.

Turning slowly you settled on the bed even further, exhaling until no more air could possibly remain trapped within your lungs. Yet only a few centimeters away lay the very man you might have made a horrible mistake with. Obi-Wan Kenobi, your old friend from back in the day, slept soundly. His chest rising and falling every few seconds, eyelids fluttering to let you know that he was dreaming.

What you would say when he finally opened those eyes...you had no clue. All you really did know was one simple fact and it was this.

You were fucked.

“We really shouldn’t be here.”

You were sipping at some kind of drink that tasted far too sweet for your taste buds, when you heard the unmistakable voice of someone you knew all too well. At first you thought it was a figment of your imagination. That the drink was stronger than you anticipated and yet there he stood, hair a bit longer than the last time you’d seen him and a beard dusted across his cheeks. It still remained him all the same.

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

If you had the time you would have gone over to him; said hello and went about your night. Only that wasn’t the reason you slouched further in your chair, hood covering your face as you sipped at your drink. The thing was...you had the time. You had all night to do what you wished with whoever you wanted, and that was originally your plan. But then—he had to walk in.

Now all you could think about was getting on your speeder and heading home. It would be a pathetic attempt to keep your past in the past and while it would have been nice to catch up. You knew that the second he saw you—he’d pull out the lightsaber that hung at his side. The anger from your previous encounter was not yet distant enough in time for him to have easily forgotten how you left him. How he gave you everything he could have offered you and you slipped out during the night—leaving nothing behind but a piece of your jewelry from the night before.

To leave now would be an impossible option, due to the fact that he positioned himself to watch the doors with ease. You chose instead to walk over to the bar. Melting into the crowd and finding a spot that wasn’t too close and yet still not too far. Why you felt this need to still be close enough to him was beyond you, and it was something you wouldn’t have been able to explain. Ever since you saw him for the first time all those years ago, you’d felt drawn to him—to who he was on the inside.

Not just a Jedi.

Not just a warrior, but someone who held so much more within than he let people see.

Ordering yet another drink without bothering to get the name, you sipped at it slowly and did your best to keep your heart rate down. If what you remembered was true, then he probably knew you were standing there already. Which meant there would no doubt be an altercation with him. You had to get out of there. Escape out the back, find someplace to go and come back later for your speeder, but you couldn’t move your feet.

“Master should I head back?”

Master?

That was certainly a new thing, but of course things in his life would be vastly different from the last time you’d seen him. Focusing on the reddish hue of your drink you attempted to push away every emotion that seemed to resurface. Each one, even more painful than the last. A Jedi is not allowed to form attachments. His words rang in your ears as if he said them aloud mere moments ago, when in fact it had been years.

At first you wondered if he thought that’s why you left. Why you never came back to him, but things had changed since you last saw one another. For the better in his case it seemed. Watching as the boy you assumed to be his padawan walked out of the entrance of the bar, you downed the rest of your drink and fixed your hood to cover the top half of your face.

Getting out of here was your only option. It had to be.

Passing through the crowd, you moved slowly, trying to appear as inconspicuous as possible and you felt the relief wash over your body as you passed him. That is until something latched tightly onto your upper arm; the grip bordering on almost painful. You yanked on them in the hopes that they were drunk and grabbed you by accident, but as your hood dropped back from your face you met the eyes of your captor.

“Dewdrop.” The nickname was like a stab to your senses, lighting your body on fire and cooling the fear you felt seconds before.

You weren’t sure how to go about this. Obi-Wan still held your arm in a tight grip, almost as if he was making sure you were in fact real. That the person who left him stood before him in the flesh and he wasn’t being tricked by the drink that he had just downed. Allowing yourself to relax into his hold, you watched his eyes take in your attire; drink in the sight of you grown up and different.

The both of you may have changed, but behind the calculated exterior you saw nothing but the boy you had once loved.

Falling into ease once more, your lips curled up into a teasing grin. “What’s the matter Obi-Wan? Loth-cat got your tongue?”

“You’re here.” His face held only one expression; the continued disbelief that he was actually holding onto you.

“You sound disappointed,” you said, taking in the sight of how he looked in the low-lights of the bar. “I was on my way out. If you’d prefer me to go—”

“No.” The quickness of his response left you stunned and it looked as though he felt the same way, because he was quickly letting go of your hand. Giving you space to choose whether you wished to stay or go as he leaned back against the bar. A new drink behind him, already replacing his finished one.

You blamed the alcohol that began to work its way through your veins for the reason you found yourself stepping next to him. Taking his drink and sipping at it yourself in order to calm the nerves that jumped under your skin. He caught you—knew you were alive—and now there was nothing to do but talk to him. About what? You weren’t sure. Part of you hoped that he’d keep the past in the past and continue on with talks of now, but another small part of you, almost minuscule, wanted to hear what he had to say.

Wanted to apologize for leaving.

“You look well,” he said, flagging down the bartender.

Coughing from the sting of the drink you nodded—rather awkwardly. “So do you.”

You felt as though all conversation had vanished from your repertoire of skills altogether, because you were floundering for what to say. After so long, a simple conversation seemed impossible, and yet you two had managed once before. The lasting memories of the conversations you held together were still ingrained in your mind. You knew it wouldn’t go back to being that simple—no matter how much you hoped for just that to happen.

Mentally you thanked your cloak for covering the symbol on your arm that would have him recoiling from you in disgust. One you hated wearing for that very same reason. Things had changed; you were no longer the innocent girl he once met on Corellia all those years ago, and he was no longer the padawan who would do anything to become a Jedi.

“What are you doing on Coruscant?” he asked, seeing your fingers tap lightly on the empty glass you held like your life depended on it. You were uncomfortable, that much was obvious.

“Hunting.”

He reared back, eyes blinking from slight shock. “Hunting? What do you—” He caught the meaning before he could finish his sentence. “Bounties?” he exclaimed.

Hiding a snort with a cough you tried not to laugh at the sheer disbelief on his face. “You’re acting as if it’s such a horrible thing.”

“How did you end up in that situation?”

You couldn’t fight the smile any longer, because the way he spoke—his tone, expression—it all showed how concerned he was about what you were doing. If only he knew the truth. Except you figured this was merely a friendly catch up, reminiscing on old things of the past before once more moving on with your current lives. That’s why you smiled, why when the bartender finally arrived you placed an order for the best drink they had.

Were you being hasty and jumping into something you should have stayed away from? It would seem so, but when had either of you let things be?

“The best drink or the most expensive?” The bartender asked, a weary look in his eyes from working all day and night.

Obi-Wan interjected, sliding the credits towards him. “The best tasting one you have.”

You didn’t catch it in time, but you would later when the drink had taken its effect. When things were too far gone to turn back. A small glint briefly flashed in the man’s eyes before fading away seconds later—his head nodding in understanding. Surely it meant nothing. Surely you were being paranoid, just as you were taught to do. Always be wary of your surroundings in order to stay alive.

“I could have paid,” you said, attempting to shake off the nerves. Things were drastically unfamiliar between the both of you, and yet you couldn’t shake the fact that this was still Obi-Wan you were talking to.

The one who you whispered your secrets to on long nights together when the moon was the only light source either of you had. When you had clutched onto one another in order to survive the days as he helped his master in any way he could. All the while keeping you a secret. They say Jedi can’t fall in love, that it was forbidden and yet you were sure that in those moments, he loved you more than a person could show through words alone.

“Bounty hunters don’t make much these days,” he said. “Not if you’re working on your own.”

Fighting the urge to cringe you ignored the way your right shoulder practically burned from the insignia that was attached to the outside of your armor. You wouldn’t allow him to think otherwise of your situation. Not at a time like this. It would only cause trouble for the both of you if he was seen being friendly with a bounty hunter that stood on the opposing side.

“Well I’ll pay you back eventually.”

He smiled briefly. “When you have the credits I will take them.”

“I see you’ve gotten yourself a Padawan,” you said, choosing to stray from the topic of your employment. Admitting it to yourself wasn’t easy, but you didn’t want to leave this moment, didn’t wish to go anywhere else tonight now that he’d caught you in his grasp.

“Anakin yes.”

“That’s quite a tone.” While all the memories you harbored of him were when he was a Padawan himself, you still relished in relearning small aspects about this Obi-Wan. How he ran a hand through his beard as he thought about something, how his voice had deepened with age. “Is he a troublemaker?”

Huffing in laughter, he leaned his hip against the bar to face you better. “Trouble it seems is Anakin’s basic instinct.”

The bartender returned holding two glasses of a cerulean liquid that seemed to practically glitter under the lights of the bar. “Two glasses of Chandrillian Blue ‘439.”

Your eyebrows raised at the familiar name. “Chandrillian Blue. Isn’t that expensive?”

He merely offered a smile, setting the crystalline drink down in front of you. “Consider it a gift for a Jedi and his companion.”

Companion.

The word struck a chord in your chest and you opened your mouth to dispute it when Obi-Wan was taking initiative and raising the glass to his nose to smell the wine. “Thank you.”

“I don’t know if it’s safe,” you said under your breath as the bartender moved back towards the end of the bar. “There—”

“Were you always this paranoid Astra?”

There it was. The name that he had yet to say and that too felt like a bolt of lightning striking across your skin. Nearly sending you stumbling backwards as the pain from your past rocketed through your body. What could you do when he was looking at you as if nothing had changed? The same playfulness in his eyes that you had fallen in love with the first time now shone against the light reflecting in them. Reminding you that no matter how much time passed he was still your Obi-Wan, your love.

Clearing your throat you lifted the glass with reckless abandon and tilted it his way in unison to him before downing it in one go. Normally wine you sipped at carefully, letting the taste of it settle over your tastebuds, but this one you didn’t bother with. This one you drank quicker than you had any other liquid and he followed suit.

Your face screwed up from the bitterness that worked its way down your throat, stinging as it went along. “That’s different from how I remember it,” you said, voice hoarse from fighting the urge to cough your lungs out.

He did the same, exhaling sharply. “Yes.” Coughing he grabbed the glass of water that had been left with the drink, gulping it down before pushing the rest your way to finish off. “Although I haven’t had Chandrillain Blue since…”

That night in the forest.

You looked away, pushing the now empty water glass back to the center of the bar. So he did remember the past as clearly as you did. Normally that would have brought joy to your heart—a celebration that you hadn’t left his mind completely, but this...this short display of normalcy between you left your stomach feeling nauseous. How could you stand there, a member of the enemy’s side, and smile with him over drinks?

How could he love you after this?

Choosing not to worry about that fact, you instead focused on the sight of the bar crowd growing slightly smaller as the night hours waned on. The day would be starting in a few short hours, leaving you with only a limited amount of time to spend with him. You wanted to end it on a good note, so without thinking you stood straight and began to head towards the door. Feeling him watch on after you, the crease in his forehead growing.

“Well?” you asked, lifting your hand out towards him. “You coming?”

It was a bad idea to involve himself in feelings like this, even for just one night, but he couldn’t rid himself of the memories that played in his mind. A newer one resurfacing just as quickly once the others faded back. At one point you were vital to his life. You had been his moon in the sky, all his stars and planets combined. The reason he wanted to breathe each and every day, until you became the reason he wanted to forget.

“Do you have anywhere you want to go?” you asked, fighting the smile from crossing your face as he kept your hands entwined.

He shook his head, watching as airspeeders flew overhead. “A walk?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Do you want that?” Heading down a fairly deserted street he walked at a leisure pace so as to keep his attention fixated on you.

You shrugged. “I don’t think it matters much. I’m okay with anything.”

“Dewdrop,” he said, that soft tone of his stirring your insides more than you would have liked.

“There’s plenty of places to go Obi-Wan. I don’t mind where we end up as long...as long as I get to spend some time with you.” The danger of those words weren’t lost on you, but it was too late. They’d been said aloud and there would be no taking them back—not that you wanted too.

He nodded, taking the lead and walking through the street, glancing around every few seconds just to make sure. It wasn’t unlike you to do the same. Keep your senses up in case something were to happen, because while Jedi did remain on this planet you still didn’t put your trust in the Order itself. You would never say that to him though.

“Tell me what you’ve been up to these past few years,” you said, tugging on his arm to cease his footsteps.

A slight wave of dizziness had begun to work its way through your body, but you blamed that on the amount of alcohol you drank. It must be taking effect already. That would explain why you felt so warm all of a sudden. Rather than make a big fuss over nothing you simply pulled the hood away from your face, giving your skin some breathing room.

He led you down an emptier street so he didn’t have to yell over the noise of the city. “I became a Knight and a Master soon after we parted ways.”

Gasping you brought your hand to your mouth. “I couldn’t tell.” It was the small tinkling of laughter that made him smile; a sound he didn’t realize he missed so much. “Tell me Master Kenobi, what’s it like teaching such a bright Padawan?”

“I get into trouble more often than I expected,” he replied.

You nudged his shoulder lightly, ignoring the feverish cold sweat that began to break out on your skin. “Don’t be too hard on him. From what I can remember you were quite a bit of trouble yourself.”

“I don’t remember that being true.”

“Oh you don’t remember?” you asked, biting your lip to smother the smile that wanted to show. “So am I just imagining Qui-Gon nearly having a heart attack when you attempted to climb a tree all to rescue a bird?”

He laughed and your heart swooped in your chest as if it was a bird taking flight. “I remember it was you who asked me to save it.”

“You’re right I did,” you said, unknowingly stroking your thumb against his palm. “I never did ask.”

“What?” Obi-Wan nearly faltered as a roaring surge of pain spread across his body, sending his muscles into shock almost immediately. Except he chose to ignore it, shoving the feeling down until he could focus back on you again. After all it was only his body aching from traveling so much.

“Why did you call me dewdrop?” You wanted to blame the alcohol for loosening your lips; allowing things you would have avoided to come out. “I mean—I never understood the—”

“You were underneath a dewdrop tree the first time I saw you.” He could recall it so clearly, the image of you wearing a dress that looked like it originally belonged on Naboo. Standing beneath the crystalline tree that seemed to make you glow and it was then he found himself—for the first time—unable to find the words to speak.

A fond smile crossed your lips, eyes meeting his, as the dizziness formed even further; settling into your bones until the only thing you could focus on was him. This power of a man who held the ability to either break you even further or love you like he once did. Go home. End this night. The warning bells became fuzzy the longer you stood there, the more the alcohol flowed through your veins.

Leave.

You tried to grasp onto that one single word, will your body to walk out of the place you were trapped in. Only you felt stuck. As if the very boots you wore were glued down to this desolate street and while any other time you would have panicked at the sensations that swept through your body, now you felt calm. More at peace than you had felt since you watched him walk into the bar. The bells eventually grew silent, the words fading to the back of your lust addled mind, allowing for something else to set in entirely.

You wanted him. More than you realized.

“Obi-Wan,” you murmured, eyes trailing down his face. Drinking in his features until you settled on the sight of his parted lips. You didn’t notice that he started to breathe heavier, that his eyes were dilated—the blue nearly being swallowed whole by his pupil—or that he too settled on simply staring at your lips.

“Astra,” he breathed, a strange feeling began settling into the very marrow of his bones. One he hadn’t felt since the last time he laid eyes on you and suddenly the image was very clear to him now.

The girl he once loved, nearly gave up everything for, stood before him now as the woman who still held a tight grip on his heart. Shining just as brightly as when he’d seen you last—standing beneath a dewdrop tree.

The dizziness passed—when, you couldn’t remember—only to be replaced by something else. A burning sensation that stemmed from the very core of your body, spreading until you felt like you were surely on fire. Was this merely a dream? Were you being burned alive somewhere and you chose to remain here with Obi-Wan on your last day? You wondered if you were delirious, only you couldn’t tell. You could barely grasp onto a single thought, because all you saw was him.

Watching you with a look that made your skin tingle and your breath catch.

“Would you like a black caf?”

His dazed look vanished for a split second as he came back to his own mind briefly. Long enough to comprehend your words. “I–I’d love one. I’m afraid the alcohol is—” he trailed off, eyes back on you.

“Getting to you?” you asked, forcing your body to take one step back and then another. Eventually it became easier to walk down the street, but the urge to press against him—to remind yourself what kissing him felt like—popped into your head every few seconds.

Caffeine. That would set your mind straight.

If anything it would give you a few moments to figure out what exactly happened in the span of thirty minutes. What did you drink that made your mind suddenly lose all control of your urges?

The both of you fell into yet another comfortable silence with only the sounds of the city echoing around you. A part of you wanted to smile at what was happening. You and him walking the streets of a city once more with no need to speak, because you already knew what would be said. The words were practically ingrained into your souls. Whispered promises that never seemed to pan out. Dreams of loving one another until the galaxy itself fell to ruin.

Neither of you knew that only one of those things would turn out to be the truth.

You were both young. Far too young to realize what giving up things meant and what it was to love so deeply that it felt as if your very soul was torn from your body when it ended. Lessons learned, memories forgotten. An old saying your mother used to say when you were a child made so much sense to you now as you walked beside him.

Years too late.

He followed you into the building you found a room to stay at, his head bowed in thought with every step he took. It came to a point where you began to feel worried he would leave. Forget this ever happened and move on. While it would rip you to shreds, it might be easiest for him. A simple act of revenge for what you had done to him so long ago.

“It’s not the good kind of caf,” you said, startling him slightly. “But it’ll help take the edge off from the alcohol.”

He nodded, eyes wide—almost childlike in his expression—as he entered your room. Truly there was nothing to be amazed at. The bed was a standard mattress found at all hotels on the planet, with a white cover and silver pillows. A table sat near the window with a small lamp placed on top and a comfortable chair if someone wished to work. Extremely mundane for a hotel room that cost far too many credits. Although in your opinion you’d have to say the best part of this place was the shower and the HoloTV.

“The room is…”

“Shitty?”

He smiled, the tension leaving his shoulders slightly. “It’s nice. There’s not much in here though.”

“That’s okay I’m not staying for very long,” you replied. “Just here for the hunt and then…” You were gone.

The realization had yet to set in with either of you. This was it. One night of talking, of spending as many moments together as possible, before you returned to your lives. Him to something far bigger, far more important, and you to a place that saw him as the enemy.

“I wanted to say—”

“Obi-Wan—” Huffing into your cup you tried to fight the smile, but whatever got into your system forced it out. “You go first.”

He took a sip of his drink, glancing out the window at the sight of the city skyline still lit up. It had always been a sight he found comfort in, one he knew to be home, but now...sitting beside you in this too small room he realized that he hadn’t felt whole until he found you in the bar. A missing piece of him now settled back into place and he wished to hold onto it for as long as humanly possible.

Even if only for one night.

“Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments, but…I fear that I have missed you.”

You weren’t exactly sure how you should take his words, but then almost inexplicably that rush of emotions returned. When it was coupled together with the mess from earlier it made for a dangerous combination. One you would have done everything to fight against, but before you could argue anymore with your mind you were raising a hand to cup his cheek. The soft scratch of his beard felt different against the skin of your palm. A good different you found yourself fond of within seconds.

“Obi-Wan you have no idea…” you whispered, feeling yourself lean into his body. Seeking out the warmth that emitted from him, only heightening the drunkenness of your mind—your body.

This was a mistake.

Possibly the biggest one you would make since leaving him, but nothing could stop you now. Not when your mind had settled on one single thing. You missed him, craved him, loved him through all those years you were away. You blamed the intoxicating way he talked, how he held himself—so grown up compared to the young padawan you once knew—and how he still looked at you as if you were all his stars in the galaxy.

The very moon in his sky.

“My beautiful dewdrop,” he breathed, his lips a hair's breadth from yours and once again the anticipation, the overwhelming rawness of it all, got to you.

Pulling him closer you sealed your lips over his, feeling your stomach bottom out as the heat you’d been pushing down for so long came flooding back into your system. Shoving you forward until you were nothing but a mess of wanton need. You ached for something to quench the fire in your veins and it seemed the cure sat mere inches away.

You half expected him to yank himself away from you. Apologize for what happened and leave, and that’s what shocked you most. He didn’t pull back. Instead he seemed to melt into your touch, sighing into your slightly open mouth as he kissed you back. A hand went to the back of your neck, gripping tightly to keep you in place before he truly started kissing you.

Nothing quite compared to the way he devoured you with his lips. How he kissed you as if he was poisoned and your taste was the antidote he needed to survive. A small sound escaped your throat which he swallowed happily, licking at the bottom of your lip until you were desperate to taste him again. The haze set in over your mind, leaving you victim to the powers of the alcohol just as it did him. There was no more contemplation. No more fighting.

You wanted him, needed him, just as he did you.

Gasping when his tongue slid against yours, you felt his fingers dig into the skin of your neck right when you shoved your hands into his hair. Keeping him in place whilst he explored you for the first time in ages. You could kiss him for an eternity if given the chance, but the fire was spreading quickly. Bringing a surge of uncomfortable pain with it.

“Obi-Wan,” you sighed, tilting your head back to allow his lips to trail towards your neck. Deft fingers unlatched your cloak without your noticing, but you didn’t mind one bit.

Not when it felt this good to be in his hands again.

“Yes?” he asked, scraping his teeth lightly along your jaw and smiling when your body shivered into his touch.

You couldn’t remember him being this sensual and sure about himself. Except that might have been the lust clouding your thoughts the longer you remained there, allowing him to do what he wished with you. It’s when his lips met yours again and his fingers found the opening to strip you of your clothes and armor did you give yourself over to the cloud of mind numbing pleasure.

Each touch replaced the fire with a cooling sensation, giving you relief for the briefest of moments before it was back. Reminding you that only he could satiate the ever growing pain that spread faster than a real flame. Yanking the top of your armor off along with the shirt, you wrapped your arms around his neck, climbing—albeit clumsily—into his lap. A position he was more than happy to accommodate for.

“Every—” he gasped at the feeling of your teeth scraping along his throat. “Every day. I thought about you.”

The haze in your mind spurred your motions, but it was something deeper within you that had you reaching for the tie of his tunic—something carnal buried inside your chest. It begged you to set it free and you were more than willing. Kissing up his neck, you moan when he turned his head to capture your lips in another searing kiss that you swore you felt down to your toes.

Once more, you tugged on his tunic, adamant on getting it off and he seemed to catch on quickly—pulling away from your tantalizing lips to assist you. It wasn’t until your palms connected with his bare chest, did you finally feel satisfied, because beneath his skin you felt the ever so steady beat of his heart. You could remember laying together beneath the dewdrop trees on your home world, listening to his heart beat as he pointed out the different planets in the sky—all the places he wanted to take you.

“I missed you too,” you whispered, sucking on the shell of his ear and smiling when a shudder went down his spine.

How long had he upheld the Jedi code? How long since he felt the intimate touch of another human being?

Pressing against his chest, you pushed him until he moved—laying on his back and looking up at you with wonder in his eyes. The sight of his lips swollen and spit slicked from you biting against them had your walls clenching around nothing. For years you’d imagined what it would be like to see him again. Would he even remember you? Yet there he was, his hands gripping onto your hips as you leaned down closer to take his bottom lip into your mouth, sucking it slowly and pulling at it to hear that soft groan you’d dreamt about.

Letting go of his lip, you kissing his cheek, chin, moving slowly down his body—your lips dragging along every new scar he had acquired since you’d been away. Placing a soft kiss over his heart, you felt the stuttered breath in his chest as he watched you, knowing what this meant for the both of you.

You weren’t the only one who craved to be back in his life, you weren’t the only one who dreamt of the memories you shared together. He had longed for it all the same.

“Dewdrop,” he gasped, his head falling back as you trailed your lips along the edge of his pants—a wrecked moan tearing from his throat.

“My beautiful Jedi,” you cooed, scraping your nails along his sides and smiling when he jolted at the feeling.

He lifted his head, striking blue eyes meeting yours and you felt it. A drastic shift as the steady burning turned into something worse, until you could feel your body begging for some relief. Obi-Wan’s hand grasped onto your upper arm, practically dragging you forward until you were above him. His fingers worked quickly, tearing at your shirt and helping you yank it off until his palm rested on the bare skin of your sternum.

A shuddered breath left your lips, your eyes fluttering shut as he explored the blank canvas of your skin—his fingertips running over your new scars, copying your movements. The simple touches did nothing to satiate the agonizing burn that flooded your veins, but you didn’t give a shit. Not when you hadn’t felt his touch in years—when you had dreamed of this very moment for so long.

“Fuck,” you whined, head dropped forward until your forehead pressed against his. “I—I need.”

“I know, I know.” His voice was hoarse, pupils nearly taking up his entire iris now. “Me too.”

Scrambling for the button of his pants as he did the same to yours, you kissed him. Your tongue sliding against his felt euphoric in a way it never had before and you began to unconsciously grind against the very apparent bulge in his pants. Neither of you had any sense left in your bodies—otherwise this wouldn’t be happening. You continued to wonder if this was merely a dream. Would you wake up alone, stuck in another memory? Obi-Wan sat up, his hand dipping beneath the waistband of your pants as his other one gripped your hair to yank your head back.

With his teeth nipped along your neck and his fingers sliding into your slick, you knew you’d never be able to leave him again. He groaned when he felt how you nearly drenched his hand. “All this is for me?” he asked, breathlessly—almost in utter disbelief.

“Yes,” you whined. “Only you.”

The sound of approval he made had your hips moving faster, grinding against his fingers as something began to build up in your body. You felt the tightening in your stomach the longer he allowed this to happen—happily sucking at the skin above your collarbone. Whether he was in pain or not wasn’t clear to you, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it, because he was shoving you towards the edge of absolute bliss.

“Obi—” Burying your face into his neck, you clawed at his bare back and with every shift of your hips you felt the pleasure mount even higher. “Maker,” you gasped, your eyes rolling back.

“What do you need?” he asked, the pain in his voice prominent.

“More! I need more.” The words came out as a beg, but it spurred his movements.

Within seconds he slid two fingers into you, cupping your chin to drag your lips back to his and swallow the wail you let out. It wouldn’t take you long at all to reach your peak, but something kept you right on the edge—prolonging your pain. Breathing in, you fought against whatever drug had entered your veins, and focused on the man in front of you.

His eyebrows were furrowed, teeth digging into his bottom lip in concentration as he pumped his fingers at a brutal pace. Yet he never looked so beautiful to you. His hair was unruly, some of it falling into his eyes and the sight left you ravenous. The flushed look on his face was enough to have your heart racing even faster, the emotions building right alongside the pressure in your body. With a jolt you realized—you loved him. You would always love him.

“I—” Choking, you felt a shock go through your entire body, white flashing behind your tightly shut eyes while your toes curled at the sensation.

With a triumphant smile, Obi-Wan pressed even harder on the spongy spot along your walls, enjoying the way you practically screamed with every thrust. You could barely move your hips anymore, let alone tell him how you felt. He pressed his forehead to yours, lips brushing along your own as spoke. Only you never figured out what he said, because he had dragged his other hand down—now toying with your clit to shove you right where he wanted you.

A scream tore from your throat, your body shaking as his hand sped up—the echo of your slick filling the room. Pleasure and pain collided and suddenly you couldn’t tell if you were floating or about to collapse. The fire from before faded slightly, simmering beneath the surface. Even though it was far from over. It gave a few seconds of reprieve, the sparks that shot along your skin felt like cold water dousing out the pain. You could feel your lips moving, a chant echoing in the small room and suddenly it hit you.

You were saying his name.

“Obi-Wan,” you breathed, some movement coming back to your body. “I should have never left you.”

He smiled, grimacing as the pain punched him in the stomach—shoving the air from his lungs. “I—I wouldn’t have been able to remain with you. Jedi aren’t…” he trailed off, the sadness in his eyes enough to remind you of a phrase you both knew all too well.

“I know.”

Jedi weren’t able to form attachments and yet this right here would keep the two of you attached for years to come.

It went against the code for so many reasons, but neither of you wished to acknowledge it at this time. You couldn’t. Not when you spent so long attempting to forget about him and everything you could have had together.

Just as you were prepared to get off him, the familiar agony from earlier returned stronger than before, nearly forcing you to double over in pain. Something was in the drink the bartender had given you. You were sure of it. But neither of you could take the time to figure out exactly what, because you were spiraling—gasping for air and wishing that it would stop altogether.

What kind of maddening person took this type of drug just for the sake of taking it?

“Fuck!” you cried out.

Instantly, you fumbled for his pants that hung open around his waist, except it seemed like he was a step ahead of you. Dragging yours down, he moaned loudly when your hand wrapped around his cock. Your mouth parted at the sight of it so red and swollen, almost like he was ready to burst at any moment. It sent a streak of heat down your spine as you came to the realization that this man had probably upheld the Jedi code better than anyone else—especially after you left.

How many years had it been for him since he felt the delicious pleasure of release? How long had he yearned for it? You couldn’t even fathom the answers, because suddenly you suddenly felt empty—the need to be filled by him overtaking your want for logic.

“I need you inside of me.” Getting up on shaky legs, you shoved the rest of your clothes off until they were a pile on the floor, and watched enraptured as he did the same.

There'd be no coming back from this, no way to forget that this ever happened in the future like you’d done before. You didn’t wish to either way.

Something must have shifted in your expression. The want—the desperation for him—cracking the surface of your walls to reveal the emotions you tried so hard to tamper down. He stood, stepping closer to you even though he grimaced with every shift of his body. You were both in pain, both nearing the end of losing your sanity because of this and yet…you still clutched at the last thread of patience. It was your lifeline the longer you watched him.

You knew once you let go—gave into the lust—you’d forget about the worries, about what waking up beside him would be like.

His hand cupped your cheek, drawing your lips to his in a saccharine kiss that invaded your senses. It felt like too much, and yet not enough to satiate the feelings that crept up the back of your neck, reminding you of what you had to lose. His other hand clutched at your bare waist, the groan he let out being swallowed by you as you licked into his mouth. The taste of him, so different from your past, yet eerily familiar.

This was too tender for your reeling mind and it broke your heart to part from him. Only the pain had now reached a point where you couldn’t ignore it anymore. Your knees buckled, a whimper tearing from your throat as he caught you in his hold.

“Obi…”

He nodded, the redness in his neck and face showing you that he felt the same. Except as a Jedi he’d grown used to hiding pain, shoving it all down until he felt numb to it all. He couldn’t do that here. Not when he felt like he’d burst the second you touched him.

A shudder wracked your body when his lips trailed down your throat, intent on hearing you moan for him again, as he helped you shift to the bed. You hit the mattress with a small oof as he followed. Your legs wrapping around his waist felt like second nature, but it was his cock dragging through your soaked pussy that had you digging your face into his neck and begging.

“Oh fuck—Oh Maker that’s so…so amazing,” you managed to choke the words out.

Sparks trailed down your spine as he quickly dragged his hips forward, pressing his swollen head against your clit and groaning when your nails clawed down his back. You could barely get words out, let alone sounds and he wasn’t even inside you yet. Somehow you knew by the end of this you’d be a mess of emotions. But you could care less, because he was lining himself up with your entrance, his head dropping down to your shoulder as he pushed in.

A long dragged out moan tore from your throat at the feeling of him slowly stretching your walls. The fire consumed you entirely, singing your nerves until all you could feel was this. The sting of his cock breaching your entrance while he panted hotly against your neck and whispered praises.

“You feel so good.” He pulled back slightly, thrusting shallowly with each inch he gave you and it was it’s own kind of torture. “Fuck I-I could barely remember our last night…” Cutting himself off with a broken moan when his hips finally met yours, he tried to bring some sense back to his mind.

“Move,” you begged, hand scrambling for purchase on his skin. “Please Obi…fuck I need you to—”

He pulled out, shoving himself back to the hilt and effectively punching the air out of your lungs. A sob echoed off the walls, your walls clenching down so tightly around his cock that he nearly collapsed on top of you. That simple movement snapped your final thread of patience in half. You couldn’t keep holding back the pain, because the antidote was him—this, the continued feel of him thrusting into you with the same ravenous hunger as you.

Moaning unabashedly, you hooked your ankles together behind his back, attempting to draw him in even deeper. Except you weren’t the only one desperate for this. Every snap of his hips against yours was echoed with a growl tearing from his throat, his eyes zeroed in on each expression you made. He watched you with an intensity you didn’t know he had—studied what made you tick with every movement he made. Dipping down, his lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking on it with his teeth to cause your whole body to jolt.

The fire singed your lungs with each breath you took, nearly suffocating you. But that didn’t stop the words from spilling free. You felt your lips move before you could stop them, because he couldn’t know…not like this.

“Obi!” you sobbed, hands digging into his hair to drag his lips to yours. It was a clashing of teeth and tongue as he sped up his thrusts, the head of his cock dragging just right along your walls and drawing a stuttered moan from your lips. “Right there—fuck right…oh—”

“Right there?” he asked, the brief flash of a smug smile showing before he was slotting his lips against yours and groaning into your mouth.

You could feel something begin to build up in your stomach, the tightening of your muscles were simply adding to the painful pleasure. His thrusts stuttered when you clenched around his cock and yet he still continued. Hitting the spot along your walls with enough accuracy to make your toes curl and your eyes to roll back. You wouldn’t last long, but you silently begged for this maddening euphoria to keep going.

“I wanted to stay.” The words slipped free against your better judgment.

His eyes snapped to yours. “What?” he rasped, slowing down until you were digging your nails into the skin of his ass to make him keep going.

“I wanted to—ah—stay with you. I wanted to be with you.”

You weren’t sure how much time went by between you confessing your darkest secret and him reacting, but it felt like mere seconds. A broken moan tore from his chest—his eyes fluttering shut as he kissed you with enough emotion to make your heart shatter. You wanted to be with him, then, now…whenever he would have you. Tears fell into your hair as he continued moving, his hands grasping for yours and shoving them up—pressing them into the mattress.

“I would have gone with you anywhere,” he gasped against your lips—the steady echo of skin against skin and your slick were a steady echo that bounced off the walls. It only made you tighten around him even more. “I’d have given up everything for you…”

A scream left you as those words coupled with the coarse hair around his cock grinding into your clit snapped the pressure inside of you. A flood of absolute bliss filled your trembling body until you couldn’t see straight. Your walls clamped down on his cock, the heat of your pussy driving him to the edge right along with you, causing his hips to stutter. Sobbed out words filled the air, telling him how much you loved him, how you wished things were different.

He returned them with words of his own. Groaning your name against your neck, he finally let go. The warmth of his cum filled you, satiating the fire that began to slowly dissipate and even then you didn’t want him to stop. Even as he remained inside you—his cock twitching each time your walls contracted around him, the combined mixture of your cum together spilling out and coating the tops of his thighs—you wished he would stay. If only things were different, this wouldn’t feel like a mistake when you woke up.

“My love,” he breathed against your throat, his lips kissing along your skin. “My beautiful sweet Astra.”

Even though it wasn’t your true name, being called his star always held you tight in his grasp. You kept the name solely because of him; a reminder of what you couldn’t have—what you gave up. Yet it sounded so sickeningly sweet coming from his lips. Like the aftertaste of his kiss, it was something you clutched against your chest—afraid it would escape you one day.

“I meant what I said.” He stated the words with so much intent, as if he wasn’t still balls deep inside of you and that thought alone made you smile.

“You did?”

He nodded, the soft brush of his hair against your forehead filled your chest with warmth. “I would have given up all of it.”

“Obi-Wan,” you whispered, drawing his eyes up to yours. “I could never have asked you to do that.”

“But—”

“Being a Jedi is who you were meant to be. Our paths weren’t meant to be walked together.” The both of you knew this to be true, but it still didn’t make hearing it any easier.

Rather than discuss something that would bring back the heartache from earlier, you simply kissed him. Feeling the pain begin to lick its way up your body again. It would be a long night and an even longer morning, but some twisted part of you felt safe in knowing you’d get to spend it with him. Obi-Wan, the man who you belonged to the moment you met him underneath that crystalline dewdrop tree all those years ago.

Sighing, you opened your eyes to feel not only an aching in your head—the makings of a hangover starting—but a deep ache in your lower body. For hours the two of you had fucked until you practically passed out from utter exhaustion. Somehow at one point you ended up on the floor, on your knees as he gripped you from behind—the raw skin of your legs telling you enough. Every moment of the night played through your mind as you stared at Obi-Wan, dead asleep beside you.

While the drug in your system had worn off, the feelings still remained prominent. Every word you said, every submission of the truth you set free, all came back to haunt you as guilt filled your veins. There’d be no possibility of staying with him. So, why did you bother entertaining the idea to begin with? No, he’d go back to the Jedi Order—train his padawan and eventually move on with his life. It’s how his life was meant to go.

“Okay…” you whispered. The time to leave was now, before he woke up and demanded answers of what happened last night.

Shifting slowly, you managed to untangle yourself from his arms without waking him—your feet touching the ground as you quickly shoved down every inkling of guilt away. You shouldn’t feel broken about leaving him here again. Even though it was your room, you knew that eventually he’d wake up and go, in need of finding his padawan. Last night was a one time thing and the consequences were something you didn’t wish to bear.

Not now.

You gathered your clothes, silently putting them on and reattaching your cloak, before you took one last look at him. He lay on his stomach, the red scratch marks on his back proof that last night was not a dream, and his hair a mess. You’d never be able to come back here—at least not for a long time. Except it was a risk you were willing to take if it meant finally healing after all the pain you put yourself through. After all, he was a Jedi—a guardian—and that meant more than any love he could give to you.

Leaning down, you pressed your lips to his gently so as not to disturb him. The sting of tears as they fell down your cheeks, reminding you of the last time you did this to him. Rather than leave behind a piece of your jewelry, you left behind a piece of yourself—all the shattered pieces you could no longer carry with you. Their weight had grown too heavy after all these years and you knew…they’d be safe with him.

They say time heals all wounds, but this one you knew would remain bleeding. A fresh reminder of what you could have had.

“I love you Obi-Wan,” you breathed, walking towards the door and drawing the hood back up around your face.

Leaving behind the serenity you’d been searching blindly for your entire life.

#obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x you #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan x y/n #obi wan kenobi x y/n #obi wan kenobi smut #obi wan smut #obi wan kenobi #my writing

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anakinskywalkerog · 8 months

Text

My Very Soul (Chapter 33)

Anakin Skywalker x Jedi!Reader

Link to Chapter 32

Warnings: grief!! depression!!! tread lightly!! things will get better, our girl will heal, but please engage with this only if you feel good/healthy yourself! also, drama/angst, but that's what you get from me

Summary: Anakin comforts you after the death of your Master; you wrestle with some difficult truths, and agree to train with someone new

Word Count: 2.7k

It was heavy. There was no other way to explain it. Your grief was a heavy pillow, suffocating you as you lay in your bed. You felt like the sheets might swallow whole you under the weight. The feel of Anakin's arms around you faded in the face of the soft, quiet, heavy feeling pressing on you. It was like being underwater. It was like trying to fight wind stronger than a hurricane. It pushed you down, and you felt like you had no strength to fight against it.

You'd awoken after Felucia in the Temple's medical chamber, Anakin at your side. You had no memory of anything that had happened after Yuma had been killed, and you didn't understand why Anakin looked so full of relief, why he had tears in his eyes at the sight of you. Obi-Wan had simply explained that you had lost consciousness, similar to the way you had when encountering Dooku's presence. Something in Anakin's face told you that it wasn't quite that simple.

Still, you couldn't find it in yourself to care, much, about what had happened after your Master had been taken from you. You couldn't find it in yourself to care about anything at all, other than the arms that remained around you, other than having Anakin by your side. You found that there were times when even that desire started to fade; when you felt the heaviness pressing in and lost any feeling at all.

"Y/N," Anakin whispered, shaking your arm a little, reaching over to run his fingers gently through your thick hair, pushing it away from your face. Every so often he would say something like this, something soft and gentle, like he were trying to make sure you could still hear him.

"I'm here," you replied, not looking at him, but reaching out and gripping his sleeve. Anakin brushed away the tears that fell softly and steadily out of your eyes and onto the sheets of the big bed in your Jedi apartment, situated in the Knight's Billet in the Temple. This is where you had remained for days, barely moving, barely sleeping or eating, struggling to fight the weight in order to keep breathing.

After you had left the medical chambers, you had recounted to the Council how Vyra had lured you into that cave, how she had manipulated the severity of the battle on Felucia and used the Sith dwelling to call to you in order to trap you and 'torture' you. You had told them what she had said of her reason for doing so, her grudge that she had held since you had been assigned your mission on Serenno. You had explained what she had recounted about Dooku and his mysterious "Master"; you'd noticed that Yoda and Windu had shared a look at that information. You couldn't bring yourself to care, at the moment, what that meant. You had struggled for breath, standing in the center of that circle of Jedi atop the tall tower, as you had recounted the last moments of Yuma's life: how she had been in the throes of a horrible vision, caused by the poison that made her live through her worst fears. You could barely get the words out when you described Vyra killing your Master, and taking her lightsaber. Obi-Wan had stood up to walk you out, his hand on your back the whole way back to your apartment, his face grim. You hadn't emerged since.

"Y/N," Anakin said again, stroking your face, your arm. "You need to eat something." You shook your head. The thought of moving at all, let alone eating, drinking, sounded too hard. You felt the heaviness pressing in on you.

"I love you," Anakin said again, and the agony in his presence was like a spark, a stabbing pain that brought you out of the heavy feeling, if only for a moment. Your eyes filled, again, with tears.

"I know," you whispered, looking into his eyes.

"I'll be here with you," Anakin said, reaching forward to kiss your eyelids, brushing the tears away with the gentle press of his lips. "I won't let them make me leave."

"You can't stay forever, Ani," you sighed, curling into him, wishing your words weren't true.

"I won't—"

Anakin cut off his words, feeling the same disturbance in the Force that made your senses heighten. Someone was coming.

A soft knock sounded on the door of the apartment. You and Anakin both looked at each other, sensing the presence that stood outside.

"Maybe he'll leave," you breathed into Anakin's ear, not moving. Anakin remained still, listening. You waited, holding your breath.

"Y/N," you heard, Obi-Wan's soft voice calling through the door as he knocked again. If he came into the apartment, it would only take a few steps past the kitchen for him to see through the open bedroom door, where he would find you and Anakin in bed together—

"What do we do?" you whispered, panicked, your eyes widening. Numb with grief you may be; but if you and Anakin were caught, it could risk your position in the Order. Anakin's eyes darted around, and landed on the tiny wardrobe built into the wall. Jedi Knights were granted little storage space, as they were not to keep possessions of their own.

"Anakin, he'll sense you!" you whispered frantically, but Anakin was already up and running in his boxers to the wardrobe. He sucked in his gut and used the force to close the wardrobe's doors as you heard Obi-Wan's voice sound again from outside the door.

"Y/N, I'm coming in," Obi-Wan said, his voice gentle and suppliant. You pulled yourself up in your bed, fighting against the heaviness in your limbs as you used the Force to summon your robe, hastily throwing it on over your nightgown as the door to your apartment opened and Obi-Wan stepped inside.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," Obi-Wan said as he walked forward to stand in the open door of your bedroom. You knew you probably looked like Moraband; you hadn't visited the refresher in days, and your hair was a tangled mess on your head. You felt Obi-Wan's thoughts linger on the dark circles under your eyes.

"That's all right, Master," you replied, your voice hoarse. Obi-Wan walked forward and pulled the chair near the window around so that it was facing you. You gulped as he turned, looking back to you as if to ask, may I ? You nodded, gesturing that he should sit. Obi-Wan had never been inside your apartment before—his presence startled you enough that you felt the heavy numbness backing away from you.

"I came to bring you this," Obi-Wan said, leaning forward in the chair and pulling something from the pocket of his robes. As he reached out to hand it to you, you sighed in amazement.

"How...?" you asked, leaning forward to take your lightsaber from him and gripping it. You felt each familiar divot of the hilt like you had found an old friend lost to time; you felt the ghosts of tears prickle behind your eyes, and you willed them away.

"I recovered it for you, on Felucia," Obi-Wan responded quietly. "When you were found, in that cave." His tone was careful, quiet, and solemn. "I wanted to return it to you before, but...it seemed a difficult enough moment." You thought back to facing the Council, to the whirlwind of emotions you'd faced upon waking up here, in the Temple, without your Master, for the first time in your life.

"Thank you," you managed to get out, looking back up at him and keeping your tears at bay. He simply nodded. You looked around, feeling awkward, working to keep your gaze anywhere but on the wardrobe behind Obi-Wan's back.

"I also..." Obi-Wan started, and you met his gaze, his face lit by the rays of sun streaming in through the partially closed blinds. "I am also here because I wanted to make a proposition to you."

You squinted, gripping your robe around yourself, inclining your head to indicate that he should continue.

"You are, of course, under no obligation to do so..." Obi-Wan started, rubbing his hands over his mustache and through his beard. "But...I know how important it was to Yuma that you work on your ability, to block out the presences of the Sith." At these words, your heart dropped. The weight came back in full force, pushing you down. It was an effort to keep yourself seated, to not lay back into the sheets and give in to the heaviness that pressed into you. You swallowed, nodding. "I would like to continue your training, in that regard," Obi-Wan said, watching you intently, his voice soft. "Not to pick up where Yuma left off, necessarily. But to work to make sure you are fully in control of your abilities...so that, when the time comes that you must protect yourself, you are as prepared as you can be. I would like to do everything in my power to help you."

You struggled to breathe evenly, working the air in and out of your lungs. You knew that Obi-Wan meant well—that he was trying to show care for you, and for Yuma, by offering to help. And you knew you needed the help, knew now that your susceptibility to the dark side of the Force was a liability. So you couldn't help but hear the unspoken truth behind Obi-Wan's words—that it was your fault, what had happened on Felucia. That if you had made more progress in your lessons with Yuma, she would still...

Be here, you finished in your head, your eyes welling up against your will. You didn't need Obi-Wan to tell you. You knew the truth. You knew who was responsible for Yuma's death.

"Y/N," Obi-Wan started, leaning forward like he wanted to do something to comfort you, but you shook your head, letting the tears fall.

"I'll do it," you said, pushing against the heaviness. "I'll train with you." It was all you could manage. Obi-Wan paused, as if debating, then leaned back in his chair, putting his hand down.

"Good," Obi-Wan replied, his voice contemplative. "I'd like to start right away, given that the war has made it so my time at the Temple is limited. Tomorrow?" You nodded, looking away from him, your face flushed at your embarrassment. You'd never cried in front of Obi-Wan, and you didn't like it—you didn't want to feel weak around him, the Jedi who was always so very much in control. Until recently, you'd thought of yourself and Obi-Wan as similar souls, similar warriors who kept their emotions in check. You now realized that you were useless in more ways than one, that people like Obi-Wan would always surpass you. You wanted to go back to sleep.

"The last thing..." Obi-Wan continued, his voice unnervingly gentle. "I wanted to tell you," he said, leaning forward in his chair, waiting until you looked up to meet his gaze, "that you aren't alone. Though I know that no one and nothing could ever replace what Yuma was to you—to all of us—I want you to know that you still have family, here. That you still have a mentor that cares for you deeply." You blinked, the brazen affection in this statement disarming you.

"And that if you ever need to discuss anything," Obi-Wan continued, "anything, even things that you wouldn't bring to others in the Order, you can come to me. Whenever you need." You could have sworn Obi-Wan glanced infinitesimally toward the wardrobe, but it was so fast, you must have been imagining it.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan," you said, your voice small, your gratitude sincere. You felt so much affection and adoration for the Jedi Master sitting in front of you. You wished only that his faith in you wasn't so displaced. You felt your body shaking, the effort of pushing off the weight beginning to wear on you.

"That's all," Obi-Wan said, smiling at you as he stood, walking toward the door. "I'll expect you in the meditation chambers tomorrow." You nodded, feeling drained. "Don't—don't be unkind to yourself," Obi-Wan added, pausing in the bedroom doorway to turn back to you. "All of this is hard enough as it is." You nodded again, wondering how he could sense what you were thinking so accurately. Obi-Wan turned away, striding for the door to the apartment.

You listened as the front door slid shut, waiting, your heart beating. He didn't return. You sank back into your pillows, pulling the robe around you in a cocoon as you heard the wardrobe door slide open.

Anakin didn't say anything as he lay down next to you, pulling your whole body and cradling it in his arms, burying his face in your hair.

"Training might be a good thing," Anakin whispered, in a tone like he was trying to sound optimistic. You pulled yourself closer to him, your body quivering as if you were cold. You felt the tears at the edge of your eyes again, felt the quivers turn into quiet sobs.

"I'm here," Anakin said, kissing your head and stroking your back. "I'm here." What else could he say? Everything certainly wasn't okay. You tried in vain to calm the sobs, but they continued. Whenever you fought the numbness enough to stave it off, this was what happened. It was, in some ways, worse to feel.

"I should have been there," Anakin said vengefully, his voice shaky, "I shouldn't have left you." You inhaled, quickly, another sob breaking out of you.

"Are you saying—are you saying that you could have prevented it?" You pulled back in Anakin's arms, looking him in the face, your eyes wide. "That it's my fault, that she's...that she's...?" you felt your body continue to shake. Unfamiliar anger pulsed through you, the bitter anger that was only self-directed. You needed somewhere to put it. Nothing made sense, anymore. Your brain turned to fire.

"No, of course—no, Y/N, of course that's not—" Anakin started, alarmed, gripping your arms as you pulled farther away from him.

"You don’t have to say that, because I already know!" you replied, shouting now, as you pulled yourself out of the bed, standing before him. Anakin was on his feet immediately, his arms outstretched for you, but you backed away. "I know what happened is my fault entirely!! If I hadn’t—choked—if I had just listened—"

"Y/N, no, no, that's not it, no, listen to me, that's not..."

"You heard Obi-Wan," you continued, sobbing again. "And you said it yourself. Yuma was right. I was a liability, and because of me, my Master is dead."

"Y/N!" Anakin was shouting now, reaching out for you again, but you pushed him away, backing into the corner of your bedroom and sinking to the floor.

"Just leave," you choked, closing your eyes, feeling the world around you start to sway. "Just go." The world was starting to fade.

"Y/N," Anakin said gently, moving toward you slowly, his arms outstretched like he was approaching a loose rancor. "Y/N, it isn't your fault. None of it was your fault. I didn't think that for one second, and neither does Obi-Wan."

"Just leave," you repeated, softly, your sobs coming freely now. You didn't deserve to be comforted. You wanted to descend into oblivion. You were starting to lose the feeling in your legs, in your arms. You looked around, but saw that your vision was blurring over.

"I can't do that," Anakin murmured softly, and you felt his hands prying at your arms. You hadn't realized you'd been gripping your knees so tightly. You started to breathe quickly. "Look at me, Y/N," Anakin whispered, and you looked around, frantic now, your eyes clouded, unable to see. "Come back to me," Anakin breathed into your ear, and you blinked, his face swimming into view.

"I can't ever leave you," Anakin said, pulling you into his arms right there on the floor. You wanted to reply. You wanted to tell him that you couldn't ever leave him, either. You wanted to promise that the two of you would be together forever. But the world had changed, when Yuma had been taken from you. Or, you had changed. You now knew that everyone, no matter how much you loved them, would someday vanish. You didn't understand it—how one day, someone could be so very real, and the next, they could be gone. And Anakin would vanish, someday, too. You leaned into him, feeling how very real and alive he felt, with his arms around you. You felt the heaviness descend as you wept.

************************************************************************

NEW CHAPTER UP NOW!!!!!

just imagine this Obi-Wan comforting you after reading this angst 😂🤓

divider credit to @racingairplanes

taglist pt 1: @iyoogi @cluelessgurl @layazul @annadastra @graciexmarvel @galaxiasy @organasith @indigoblues1207 @outoftheregular @katsukiswrld @prettyboyrryy @jellydodger @wildflower57 @padmeamidalaslover @em-asian @heavenseraph @iloveinej @leapofblank @sahverah @elsyyie @usuallyunlikelyfox @jadeonce @papadragun @dopejellyfishfury @stxrrielle @lilianashomaresparza @prettylittlecarstairs @deadunicorn159 @atoelicker @arelisskywalker @maythefloorbewithyouanakin @your-local-crzy-lady @dontmindme262 @xenochuguardian @cassiopeiashift @allihavenegativethoughts @hamiltonwc @1-800-nostalgiaaa @heyitsaloy @haydenchristensenluvbot @sunflwrsunnieshine @muthafuckingstargirl @window-to-nothing @shadowhuntyi @jedi-archives @inmourningforanakin @vivsmcdo @betrund @ahqkas @aquaamethyst96 @escapepoet @randomstuff2040 @kenjikishimotosupremecy @nycweb-slinger @anxlaufeyson @magic-magnoliaa @theezlife @unipugrose22-blog @anhsoka @lucyysthings @hopefulpursepeanutdeputy @captainson-of-coul @zelzablues @chrisevansslutttt2

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strangeshoepatrolbandit · 1 year

Text

Summary: Your brother fell to the dark side, now you must watch him die.

Warnings: Angst, death, fire, choking,

Did I miss some important parts of his and Padme's talk? Yeah, probably. Do I care? No.

But now, as you ran down to talk Anakin out of the dark side you realized, it was real.

~☆~

You begged for this to not be real. You pleaded with the air, hoping that you would wake up and everything would be normal.

Padme was crying, staring into the eyes of the man that she loved, only to realize that this was no longer her Anakin.

He caressed her, holding her as she too prayed this was a bad dream.

"Anakin, please, this isn't right!" You cried out, hoping that the man you considered a brother would finally show.

"I did this for the both of you." He revealed, smile on his face.

"You, Padme, and our child." He started, staring into her eyes. "And you, Y/N. Now we can all be together, rule the galaxy!"

He took both of you into his arms, pressing you into a suffocating hug. You and Padme made eye contact, tears were leaking from both of your eyes.

Padme pulled back, "You're breaking my heart," She swallowed. "You're going down a path I can't follow!"

"Because of Obi-Wan." Anakins demeanor changed. He was no longer proud of his victory. He was colder, his expression was harder.

"No because of what you've done, what you plan to do!" Padme cried. "Stop- stop now, come back!"

"I love you!"

"Liar!"

Padme was now holding her neck, and Anakins hand was raised towards her. Obi-Wan was yelling, you couldn't hear him, you couldn't hear a thing.

You knew Anakin was yelling but all you could focus on was Padme's unconscious body.

This was no longer Anakin.

You had heard the way he used to go on about Padme. You were the only one to know, the only one they trusted. Padme had rushed to you as soon as she found out she was pregnant, and you urged her to tell her husband, who was more than thrilled. It was all going so well. Things were finally going right in Anakins' life. His wife was pregnant, the war was ending, then.. Palpatine. Anakin was warned.

You looked back up and Anakin and Obi-Wan were gone....Oh Maker...No...

~☆~

You finally made it to Obi-Wan's side, falling down to your knees as you heard Anakin's wails of agony. You attempted to crawl down to where Anakin was writhing. However, your movements were stopped. Obi-Wan was holding you in place.

"You were the chosen one!" Obi-Wan yelled, pain leaking into his words.

"It was said that you would destroy the sith, not join them!" He cut himself off to breathe, "Bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness!"

Your screaming mixed into Anakins cries. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't escape the force.

Obi-Wan forced you to stand and pulled you a little further up the hill, stopping so that he could reach down and grab onto Anakins lightsaber.

"I HATE YOU!" Anakin yelled, still writhing in pain.

Obi-Wan stood staring at Anakin, taking in another breath.

"You were my brother Anakin!" He told the dying man, "I loved you."

Anakins screams got louder as flames engulfed his body, the lava finally reaching his cut-off legs. Obi-Wan had to look away, not being able to bear the sight before him. So instead, he looked at you, watching as you attempted to break from the invisible force holding you. He listened as you repeatedly pleaded out against the universe.

Obi-Wan lifted you from the ground again, this time holding you over his shoulder as you tried to reach out for Anakin, him doing the same for you.

"ANAKIN!" You screamed, tears rushing down your face. "NO, ANAKIN!"

You had to accept that Anakin was dead.

Your brother was dead.

~☆~

Or so you thought

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stardust-kenobi · 2 years

Text

Reminiscence

Part Three

Read Part 2

Obi Wan Kenobi x F!Reader

Summary: Obi Wan has been recognized in Mos Eisley, and with the Inquisitors monitoring the city, the two of you must temporarily relocate to avoid being found. During this time, your rampant nightmares persist.

Word count: 6.5k

Warnings: fluff, smut, one bed trope (is this a warning or a promise?), mention of death and violence

A/N: buckle in bitches we are getting some spice. but not like spice like drugs. Like SMUT. ITS FINALLY GETTING SMUTTY

gif cred: @mcgregor

“The girl is too close to you, Master Kenobi” Master Windu’s voice carried heavily through the empty room.

“I am training her the same way I trained Anakin. There is no special treatment” Obi Wan claimed.

“Others on the Council disagree”

“Well, let them. I am doing my duty as has her Master. Nothing more” Master Kenobi insisted, careful not to get too defensive.

“See to it that it stays that way”

“I shall”

Footsteps drew closer to the door.

“And Obi Wan,” Windu called to him again.

“Yes?”

“I should not need to remind you of the laws forbidding romantic attachments to your padawan” Windu spoke firmly.

“Yes, Master Windu”

The guilt of eavesdropping weighed heavy on your conscience as your ear remained pressed to the door. You scurried away and found your seat on the bench outside the council chambers, hearing Master Kenobi’s footsteps approaching the door. The thumping inside your chest would be hard to hide.

It was probable that Obi Wan didn’t know the subject matter of his sudden meeting with Master Windu. Otherwise he would not have brought you, even if you did remain outside the door. There was undeniable tension between the two of you, there always had been. Maybe it was the force, or perhaps just human nature, but a spark ignited every-time he was near. You know he felt it, too.

To your unfortunate surprise, others were taking notice. You thought it was subtle, harmless, but apparently not.

Maybe someone saw the two of you pressed against each other during your training, staring deep into each other’s eyes. Maybe that person caught a glimpse of how you broke a nervous sweat just being that close to him. Or, maybe, they took note of how many seconds passed before you pulled away from each other.

It was an accident, you tripped and fell into him and he caught you. It was only one time, and you swore to yourself it would never happen again.

Regardless, you were treading through dangerous waters, and you expected that things were going to get awkward with Master Kenobi for a while. Your desire for him could never outweigh the honor of becoming a Jedi, an opportunity you’d be a fool to throw away.

You couldn’t look him in the eye as the doors slid open, but you could feel his eyes on you.

“Let’s go. We are going to be late” He said flatly, referring to the Senate meeting starting soon.

“Yes, Master” You said softly, debating whether or not to bring it up. Ultimately, you decided to be brave and ask.

“Is everything okay?” You asked vaguely. You’d be embarrassed to give away the fact that you were snooping on his meeting.

“Hm? Oh, yes. Everything is fine” He replied, sounding unsure and convincing seemingly at the same time. He looked to you, his eyebrows lifted in curiosity to your inquiry.

“Good” You smiled nervously back to him.

As you strolled the halls briskly with him, you passed a number of Jedi, visitors, younglings, and senators. Not a single eye was watching you, but somehow it felt like the world had a magnifying glass upon you two like a science experiment.

As you passed an empty corridor, you almost lost your footing when Obi Wan pulled you to the side, finding a broad marble pillar to hide behind. This was a mostly unused wing of the Temple, he knew this as well as you did.

“Where are we-” You began, confused, but were cut off by Obi Wan’s frantic motions. He put your back to the pillar and got dangerously close to you again. Your breath hitched in your throat

“Listen to me, my young Padawan”

“Okay”

“I don’t know what you heard in that meeting but,” Obi Wan breathed out with dread, “this cannot wait until later”

“I heard most of it” You confessed, omitting the part where you shoved your ear to the crack in the entryway in order to do so.

“I see”

“I’m sorry” You shrunk into yourself, ashamed of your spying.

“No need for apologies. Just listen” He started again, but not without a great deal of hesitation, “There is something about you that makes me forget myself…you make me blissfully forget what is right and what is wrong. It’s not your fault, but I fear what may happen if I continue to train you”

“Master, what do you me-”

“I cannot focus when I am around you. I cannot control my desire for you. My mind wanders and it is torment to me”

Your mouth may have dropped to the floor if you had allowed it to. You’d never directly spoken about the tension. It was almost as if not speaking it into existence meant it wasn’t really happening and didn’t have to be addressed. You had no idea what effect you had on him…

“I have to request you be reassigned. I’m sorry”

Your heart shattered in response. He couldn’t be serious.

“Please, no,” you pleaded, “I’ve already been transferred once, please don’t make me go through that again”

His eyes grew sorrowful and full of remorse. Master Kenobi knew of what you’d been through and how much progress you lost when you were reassigned to him from Master Ti.

“I know, little one, but it must be done. I’m sorry.”

“We can…we can figure something out. Please, can we at least try? Obi Wan, I know I’m not innocent in this. I struggle to focus around you as well. But it’s a challenge I’m willing to learn to work through. We can both work on this, it doesn’t have to be this way” You rambled, hoping to convince him otherwise.

Obi Wan fell silent and searched your expression for how you really felt.

“We are capable of a fresh start. I think we owe it to ourselves to try” You debated to him.

“Very well”, He spoke softly and you sensed a feeling of relief from him, “but if there is temptation again, I won’t reconsider a second time”

“I understand”

After that day, you grew distant from him. This absolutely broke your heart, but it had to be done. You turned yourself cold and forced yourself to focus only on your duties as a Jedi in training. Obi Wan was never the same either. You both still cared deeply for one another, but you knew to continue your behavior and allowing temptation to take over would be your downfall.

“I’m proud of you, Y/N”

These were the last words Obi Wan spoke to you up until your reunion. You held onto these words for years until they faded into an obsolete pile of hope that wasted away with your memory of him. Your heart ached all the time without him there.

“Gather your things” Obi Wan stated frantically as he returned home from his work. He startled you in the middle of your reading.

“Uh, o-okay” You stuttered in confusion.

“We need to leave” He continued whilst packing his clothes into a bag.

“Obi Wan what’s going on?”

“I think I’ve been recognized” He stopped in his tracks to weigh the gravity of the situation.

“By who?”

“An inquisitor” He swallowed hard.

“Do they know where you live?” You hesitantly asked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t want to risk it. We have to go off planet. It’s not safe on Tatooine”

“Where will we go?” You asked while you gathered what little belongings you had.

“Batuu. Just long enough to lay low. A day or two. They’ll move on eventually”

“Are you sure you want to take me?” You asked timidly. In this situation you didn’t want to complicate anything. You would understand if you needed to stay behind.

“You go where I go” He turned to you, holding your shaking hands in his palms.

You nodded with a reassuring smile.

“I know a man who owns an Inn on Batuu. He lets me stay there unregistered. With the Empire’s new protocols, no one can have a room at an inn without proper registration. I pay him under the table, no questions asked. Unfortunately this has happened a couple of times”

“Will he be okay with you bringing a guest?”

“He will have to be. I’m not leaving you here”

As the civilian transport ship exited hyperspace, you couldn’t help but gasp. Just in the few days you’d spent on Tatooine made you miss greenery and oceans, both of which came into view as the ship made its descent.

You’d heard of Batuu years ago, it used to be home to a separatist outpost in the days of the Republic, therefore you imagine there was probably a heavy imperial presence. If you tried to go anywhere else, Obi Wan would have to register as a guest, which would scan him, and it would alert the inquisitors searching for him. This deal was your best bet at safety for now.

As a former Padawan, you were likely flagged in the imperial records as well. Anyone they don’t have a death record for is still considered ‘on the run’.

“Head down, walk calmly” He whispered through the shield of his hooded robe as you descended the ship's open ramp.

You did just that. As you walked through the streets of Batuu, you noticed the scattered stormtroopers that paid little attention to you.

“How far are we?” You asked. Every step you took helped to fry your nerves. You swallowed your fear and kept walking, trying your hardest not to think about what would happen if you were caught.

“Not too far now” He barely spoke above a whisper.

The path that carried you through town narrowed significantly, covered now by lush forest instead of power lines and artificial lighting. You were nearly alone now, traveling down a stone walkway that began to feel like you two were walking through a fairy tail. You still mostly kept your head down. You could never be too sure.

You cautiously tilted your head up and caught a glance of an extravagant structure that towered over 20 floors. Elegant music trailed into your ears as you approached what looked like a resort, of some kind. The whole building stuck out like a sore thumb and drowned out the rest of the town in comparison, which you assume is why it’s tucked away outside of town. The exterior reflected the light like an Alderaanian palace, and the balconies that scattered up and down the length of its height held partygoers and travelers with credits to blow.

“This is the Inn?” You stopped, your jaw dropped.

“Not what you were expecting?” He smirked. That little devil, trying to impress you.

“Not quite” You laughed.

“I guess I never did describe it, did I?”

He’s so smug and doesn’t even realize it.

You hadn’t seen something so extraordinary since before the rise of the Empire. Since before you both went into hiding.

Obi Wan watched in adoration as your face twinkled under the shining lights. Your face was lit up like a child entering hyperspace for the first time. It excited you, staying somewhere this fancy. But it excited you even more to be staying there with him.

The interior was just as amazing. Everything shimmered and glistened, accented in gold. You could wipe the awe off your face, meanwhile all the guests in the lobby seemed incredibly adjusted to it.

“Many of them live here, they only rent out a few of the rooms. This is an interesting crowd but if you pretend like you belong, they won’t even notice us” He said, leaning over to you.

You nodded and looked around to observe the other guests. They all had a drink in hand, each one of them laughing or talking amongst a group. Their clothing reflected the exact establishment you were standing in. They were eccentric individuals, the types you’d seen plenty of back on Coruscant, but you can’t recall seeing these types of party goers around within the past few years. They all had this look in their eye, though, like they were avoiding the deep sorrow and regret lingering within them. You felt sorry for them, but also envious of their denial of what life had become.

“Hello, I’m looking for Satja” Obi Wan spoke confidently to the front desk. The receptionist looked startled, as if she’d seen a ghost.

“One moment”

“How do you know this guy again?”

“Long story”

A short man appeared from around the corner of a hidden office.

“Obi Wan!” The man shouted in glee when he saw him. You flinched at the call of his real name but then noticed, yet again, the partying hotel guests couldn’t care less. This was an interesting place.

“Satja, how are you?” Obi Wan smiled pleasantly at the man.

“Just fine, just fine. Business is booming as you can see!” He cackled, gesturing to the busy lobby.

“Yes, it seems so!”

“But hey, I don’t do it for the money”

“Satja, you only do this for money” Obi Wan scoffed playfully.

“You got me there”

“Listen, I won’t keep you. Just the usual, please” He softened his voice with the request.

“Nesa, take a quick break honey, I’ll take care of this one”

Satja shooed away the receptionist, who looked equally confused and pleased to be given a break.

“I gotta warn you, Obi Wan, Empire is cracking down. Don’t know if I’ll be able to do this much longer”

“What do you mean?”

“Bunch a’ troopers came in here last week asking for registration logs. It’s hard to fake those documents when you occupy a room without proper registration” Satja said regretfully. Obi Wan tried to hide his concern.

“But hey, I’ll keep helping ya as long as I can, I owe you my life”

“Thank you” Obi Wan nodded humbly. You decided that was a question for another day.

“So who’s this? Girlfriend?”

You cringed at the question, hoping he didn’t feel the pressure to say yes or no, so you spoke for him.

“Just good friends catching up” You smiled back.

“Oh yeah, we gotta lot of people that come here to ‘catch up’. I gotcha” he winked and cackled at his own comment again.

“Oh I’m sure you do,” You joked back to him.

“I’ll spare you the details of why we are here but 2 nights would be greatly appreciated. Whatever you have”

“You got it, my friend. 250”

“Why so much less than usual?”

“I gave you the ‘catching up’ special” Satja nudged him and began cackling again. You couldn’t help but laugh too, it was utterly contagious. Obi Wan was red in the face, trying to hide his smirk but failing completely.

“Satja” Obi Wan groaned

“Oh I’m just teasing. None of these jokers let me get in a good laugh around here”

“I thought it was funny” You corrected.

Satja high-fived you and looked at Obi Wan smugly. He worked some things in the data pad and took the credits from Obi Wan.

“Alright, pal. Room 16028G”

“That’s one of your nicer rooms isn’t it?” Obi Wan looked at him in astonishment.

“We just had a cancellation. Consider it my little gift to you”

“Thank you, Satja” You said graciously.

The walk to the elevators was filled with even more amusement. There was something fascinating to observe at every turn.

As the door to your room flung opened, you gasped. Similar to the lobby, the room was a perfect embodiment of elegance. The best resort accommodations that credits could buy. You weren’t used to this indulgence of luxurious things, you never had that in your life. The Jedi Temple is all of its glory paled in comparison. The room wasn't huge. It was a typical size, maybe a little larger, but the décor was beautiful.

“This is certainly nicer than the room he usually gives me”

“Wow” You mumbled. It was all you managed to say.

“It’s nice having company this time” He turned to you.

You smiled back at him as you set down your small satchel on the settee.

As you both took in the breathtaking view from your balcony and unpacked your belongings, you decided to pretend, just once, that you’re on vacation. Hiding from the empire should not be considered a vacation, but you must enjoy it if you can. Being with him was truly the only vacation you needed, anyways. The fancy inn was just a bonus.

“Dammit”

“What is it?”

“I guess I didn’t pack any clothes to sleep in” You rubbed your forehead. You were so frantic to leave earlier that you forgot to grab something, anything, to sleep comfortably in.

“You can borrow my tunic, here” Obi Wan offered kindly and tossed his clean sandy colored shirt to you. You recognized it as a shirt he typically slept in.

“Thank you”

You changed in the refresher and opted out of wearing anything under the shirt he let you borrow. It didn’t swallow you whole, but it was a bit longer than the bottom curve of your ass, and he’d never know you were naked beneath it. The idea of that…excited you.

“Are you okay with sleeping with m-…next to me?” Obi Wan asked as you exited the refresher.

“Of course. Besides, it’s a pretty big bed. I think we might lose each other in there” You joked.

Your heart raced inside your chest as you laid your head down on the pillow. He slept next to you that one night on Tatooine, but somehow this felt different. You hadn’t touched or kissed each other since the night at the cantina and that was almost a week ago. Nothing had been awkward, the moment just hadn’t felt right since then.

You turned away from him as you were too nervous to look at him lying next to you. It should be impossible to sleep right now, but you needed the rest, and you could only fight your heavy eyelids for so long before they defeated you.

“I probably won’t drift off to sleep for a while” Obi Wan whispered to you.

“I’m pretty tired now. I’ll probably go ahead and sleep”

“Goodnight, darling”

“Goodnight, Obi Wan”

A fuzzy cloud swept over your mind as memories began to flash back in front of you. There were screams. Distant, blood curdling screams. The child you protected kept disappearing from behind you. And a Jedi in your path kept falling to his death over…and over…and over. It was a loop… a horrid loop that grew louder and louder with every go around.

You couldn’t breathe. You gasped for air but your lungs failed you. You tried to scream but it was empty and silent. No one was coming to save you, but could you even save yourself?

A new vision came before you that was an unfamiliar loop in your nightmare. It was…Obi Wan. He stood before you, petrified. A red glow grew brighter behind him.

“Obi Wan?”

“Y/N, help me”

“I’m coming”

“Help, he’ll kill me”

A modulated breath pushed through a villainous mask. Everything went dark as Obi Wan pleaded for his life. His screams were cut short. You cried for him but he was gone.

—

Your eyes shot open and you leaned up in bed. You were breathing heavy and you must’ve screamed or cried in your sleep because Obi Wan was already moving to comfort you.

“I’m here, darling, I’m here” Obi Wan called calmly to you, “Sssh, it’s alright”

“Obi Wan” You whispered with realization of where you were.

It wasn’t real. I’m with him. I’m okay. He’s okay.

“Yes, I’m right here. Take a deep breath” He consoled you, scooting closer to you in bed.

Despite your best efforts not to break into a full on sob in front of him, you fell apart like shattered glass as he wrapped his strong arms around you. Your cheeks became soaked with tears before they seeped into the cloth of his shirt as you wept shamelessly in his grasp.

“They never stop, Obi Wan” You cried, trying to calm your breathing to prevent hyperventilation. The nightmares were back in full force again.

“I know, dear, I have them too” He spoke with sorrow.

“You do?”

“Yes. They’re debilitating” He said as he rubbed his hands up and down your arms, tucking your head under his chin. Being shielded by him was like being wrapped in a warm, blaster-proof blanket. “Waking up to one of those nightmares just to remember you’re alone in the desert is…hard”

You tried to calm yourself but your nerves were absolutely shot.

“It wasn’t real, you’re alive and you’re safe”

“Thank you” You whispered. You were so grateful for his presence in that moment.

"I'll hold you as long as you need"

You began to calm gradually as your mind processed and distinguished the difference between your nightmare and reality. You and Obi Wan sat there in silence for a while. He stroked your hair and kept your cheeks dry as your tears fell. You smiled to yourself, he was so selflessly kind.

"How are you feeling?" He asked after your tears had dried from your eyes.

"Better... a little freaked out, but I'm better" You sighed.

"I find it difficult to go back to sleep after one of my nightmares. Sometimes I just don't fall back asleep at all" He noted.

You nodded in agreement, but your mind immediately sparked a bad idea. When you would have difficulty falling asleep, oftentimes you would masturbate to ease your nerves. Sometimes you did it because you were horny and wanted to feel that pleasure, other times it was strictly an effort to chemically balance your brain back to normal and allow sleep to come easier.

"I have a trick to falling back asleep" You said, wondering if he'd ask what it is.

"Well good, so you'll be alright tonight?"

"Actually..." You winced, suddenly afraid to admit it.

"What is it?"

"I can't really do that...method...right now" You crawled across your words slowly.

"What do you mean?" He pondered, his eyebrows pushed together in confusion.

"I usually do it...alone" You emphasized. Your body may have been behaving by memory, but you felt yourself growing aroused just at the conversation of pleasuring yourself.

"Alone, like whe-....oh" He stopped himself when he realized. His eyes scanned the room before snapping back to you. Your face had changed and your tears had dried, and he could see in your eyes that you needed a release, "Well that's only natural. I'm sure it works well as a sleep aid"

"I could go and do that in the refresher, I suppose" You offered.

"No, you can do it in bed, I won't disturb you" He said sweetly. He sounded so innocent but you know just how much it would rile him up if you got yourself off right next to him, “I- I could um, I can go on the balcony and give you the privacy”

"No it’s okay, i'll be quiet" You whispered. He groaned softly in response, “unless you’re uncomfortable with me doing that beside you” You implied, the conversation felt tense as you bounced back and forth with what you were planning to do.

“No, darling, mm, not at all” His voice grew flustered as his imagination ran wild. You giggled to yourself at the effect you were having on him. You loved it.

You moved to pull away from his hold and you were faced with a restraint…his arms subtly tightened, causing an even filthier idea to flutter into your mind.

"Would you help me?" You whispered up to him sensually, and by no accident, you hoped to entice him.

"Yes" He breathed, his words were failing him, but he was dying to put his hands on you. He was a gentleman, after all, he never wanted to make you uncomfortable with the first move.

You sat up, pressing your back into his chest. You turned your head to him and stared deep into his hungry eyes. Your gaze traveled to his lips, so warm and needing attention. In a gentle motion, Obi Wan pressed hard into your lips, bringing his fingers to run through your hair. He let a moan of relief and satisfaction seep into your mouth.

You’d found yourself locking lips with him three times now since you found him, but as he slipped his tongue over your lip and into your mouth, you understood that it would actually go somewhere further this time. You were ready for him. You wanted to give yourself to him completely.

He slid his right hand between the curves of your thighs and motioned for you to open your legs. The miserable, radiating ache for him was pulsing harder with every inch that he moved across your skin.

His fingers were trembling, shaking with the anticipation of over ten years of pent up desire.

“Is this okay?”

“Mmhm” You hummed, so overwhelmed with need that you couldn’t think straight.

Your legs opened wide, pushing the pure white, luxury linens to slide off your knees.

The only light pushing through the room was the blue of the moonlight. Batuu was known for its large moon, it casted more light than most planets’ did. It allowed visibility for Obi Wan to see every inch of your body that you exposed to him without a single light turned on. It was romantic, like it was just you, Obi Wan, and the stars that lit up the galaxy. Nothing and no one mattered to you in that moment besides him.

His fingers found the hem of your shirt, his shirt, and slowly lifted the material to reveal that you wore nothing underneath. He immediately broke the contact against your lips to catch sight of your most sensitive area.

"Gods, Y/N” He faltered, “You weren’t wearing anything under this?”

“No, I wanted to be naked under your clothes” You purred.

His jaw clenched hard, like he was trying to stop himself from ravaging you right then. You felt his cock growing hard as it pressed against your lower back.

His hand idled at your inner thigh as he used the other to wrap around your body and hold you up against him.

“Touch me, please” You begged.

He waited no longer as his finger began to caress your slit. You could feel how wet you were, practically dripping for him, any part of him. He ran his middle finger through your wetness and a guttural, primal moan crawled from his throat.

“You’re already this wet for me?” He asked, his voice barely breaking a whisper.

“Yes, all for you”

His fingertips found the bud of your clit, and gave it the contact it so desperately begged you for. The electricity and fire that coursed through you the second he really touched you was overwhelming and you almost couldn’t handle the sensation.

Obi Wan used a perfect rhythm to rub delicate circles against your clit. You started to moan softly, suddenly finding yourself to be shy with him.

“Let me hear you, darling” He whispered softly against your ear. A wave of chills shot down your spine.

Your whimpering grew louder, messier. It was no question any longer how he was making you feel.

“Feels so good, Obi Wan” You breathed.

“I’ve wanted to make you feel good for so long, Y/N. I always wondered what my name sounded like falling off those beautiful lips”

You bucked your hips into his motions, but he firmly grabbed around your waist with his other hand to hold you steady. He halted his pressure against your clit and redirected his digits to your wetness. He caressed your entrance gently, taking in the magnitude of your desire for him.

He inserted one finger, and you arched your back in response. it wasn’t even the actual feeling of having something inside you, it was having him inside you that lit a fire upon your skin.

With every inch of his touch, he listened to the way your body responded. He watched how you reacted to the different ways he pleasured you, wanting to be in tune with what felt good for you, and getting off on that himself.

His finger thrusted in and out slowly, letting you adjust to one finger before adding a second. His thumb moved to return attention back to your clit as he fucked you with his fingers. There was such an intimacy about being pressed against his chest and him looking down and watching you writhe under his control.

“I’m g-getting close” You muttered as the release slowly crept up to you.

“Come around my fingers darling” He groaned. His words and consistent pacing of his fingers sent you over the edge.

It burst open and washed over your body, radiating from your core and trickling out to your limbs. You felt it deep in your bones. You whimpered and moaned his name while you came and your walls clenched around his fingers. Through your own euphoria, you were able to hear the sounds of approval that came from him while he watched you lose control in his grasp. You floated down slowly, your climax riding out longer than normal, pleasantly surprising you.

He removed his fingers slowly, and gently massaged your clit again. The sensitivity jolted your body but it felt so good. He pulled away, and you watched as he placed his fingers in his mouth to savor the taste of you. You let out an unintentional moan. You wanted more. You needed more.

“You taste as sweet as those pretty little noises you make” He praised, turning your head back up to him to kiss you with a greater passion than before. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and it drove you crazy.

“Do you think you could sleep now?” He asked so innocently.

“No” You answered breathlessly.

“Would you like me to do that again?”

You melted at his offer. This man probably hasn’t had sex in years but he’s still not expecting anything from you in return. It turned you on even more.

“I want you” You breathed, still allowing your lungs to catch up after riding your high, “to fuck me”

Obi Wan released a deep moan and attacked your swollen lips again.

“Anything for you, darling” He whispered against your mouth.

He took over and gently lifted your only piece of clothing off your body. Obi Wan then laid you down on your back. As he hovered above you, he cherished the sight of you naked beneath him, exactly what he said he needed that night you went to the cantina.

“Stars, you are…absolutely breathtaking” He stared in awe, allowing his eyes to roam every curve of your being. His hand stroked delicately over your breasts, feeling the peak of your nipples under his rough skin.

“Somehow, you look even more gorgeous than I always imagined” He smiled, finally looking back up to your eyes, “I didn’t even think that was possible”.

You blushed and reached for the hem of his shirt to help him pull it over his head. There were not enough hours in the day to properly allow you to study the intricacy of his body. He had scars and rough edges that told a lifetime of stories. You were enthralled by the sight of his bare skin, and you wanted it pressed against you immediately. There was a masculine broadness about his chest that was speckled with hair that made your heart skip a beat.

Obi Wan shyly chuckled at your admiration. You stared up at him and lost yourself in the expression on his face. Neither of you had ever said it out loud, but in that moment you knew he loved you. A man could not possibly look at you the way he was and not love you deeply. It almost brought a tear to your eye but now was not the time to get emotional

You tugged lightly at his pants that you desperately needed him to remove. He smirked before getting up and standing to the side of the bed to pull them off.

There he stood, completely exposed to you as you were to him. His size was impressive, and you didn’t mean to let a gasp fly from your lips but he was flattered by your reaction. You wanted to take him into your mouth and pleasure him how he did for you, but when you moved your mouth toward him, he stopped you.

“Darling I cannot wait another minute to be inside you”

You shivered in anticipation. He moved back onto the bed and hovered over you, hips resting between your legs. Your heart began to flutter again. You hadn’t had sex in a long time, and somehow this felt like the first time all over again.

Slowly, he pushed his tip at your entrance and took a deep breath in before he thrusted all the way in. Your breath hitched in your throat before he bottomed out, burying his cock fully inside you. You both moan in pure ecstasy at the feeling of being completely connected with one another.

He kept his thrusts slow, careful to let you adjust to him before changing pace. The curl of his hips with each motion brushed the sweetest spot inside you, repeatedly driving you insane.

Obi Wan did not break away from your gaze but only seconds at a time to look down and watch your bodies fuse together so beautifully.

“Obi Wan” You whimpered softly.

“Y/N, Gods you feel…s-so amazing” He moaned through his praises, “You are so beautiful”

“Oh my gods” You cried out, feeling another release approaching. Obi Wan was wise to, once again, listen to the way your body reacted to him.

He pulled your knees up and placed them against his chest. With this angle he was able to hit that sweet spot even easier. Your moans grew louder and he could feel your walls clenching around his length.

“That’s it, darling there you go…come on my cock” He praised, encouraging you. You melted at his words, so aroused to hear him talk like this.

Words could not form through the intensity of the wave that crashed over you this time. You lost control of your moaning and fell apart so gracefully beneath him. Stars formed to cloud your vision as you floated on that high. You cried his name over and over, letting him know just how good he made you feel. As you eased back down from your euphoric high, Obi Wan lowered your legs down and slowed his thrusting.

“I’m getting close, darling, where do you w-”

“Inside me. I’m on the pill” You reminded him so as to not let him worry about that possibility.

Obi Wan trembled against you as his whimpering grew louder and you felt him twitch against your walls. You held his face and pulled him deep into a kiss as he spilled himself inside you. He moaned through your kiss, sending vibrations across your lips. You felt him grip the sheets beside you as he came down from his high.

Gently, you broke away from him. As you looked up, you ran your fingers through his messy hair, and smiled sweetly at him. That was everything you ever imagined it would be, and you already wanted to go again, despite how tired you were.

“That was well worth the wait” You whispered to him.

“Yes, it was” He spoke softly back to you and planted a delicate kiss on your lips before laying down next to you. You laid your head on his glistening chest and listened to the thumping of his heartbeat, otherwise, It was silent between you two for a few moments as you both soaked in the reality of what just happened.

“I would’ve waited a lifetime for that” He said, turning to you, “I would wait a lifetime for you”.

“10 years alone sure feels like a lifetime” You muttered.

The two of you rested silently as you settled back into reality. You could not stop smiling, not matter how hard you tried. As you glimpsed Obi Wan you caught sight of a grin on his face that he, too, couldn’t get rid of.

Soon after, Obi Wan brought you a robe and the two of you sat in the chairs on your room's balcony to watch the Batuu sky and listen to the party going guests wind down for the night.

“Do you remember that day that Master Windu had to talk with me about our relationship?” Obi Wan randomly asked.

“Yes, I remember that. I also remember you trying to get rid of me” You teased playfully.

“I am sorry for that.”

“That was only, what, a month before all was lost?” You pondered.

“I think so” Obi Wan concurred, and dropped his head.

For a few moments you both stared at the moon in admiration. You looked over to Obi Wan, observing the way the moonlight danced over the texture of his skin. You never got tired of looking at him.

“I never stopped thinking about what you said,” You began, reminiscing back to that conversation, “how you said you couldn’t think around me…that you had forgotten what was right and what was wrong”

“It was true. In all my years I had never let anyone or anything distract me that much. My feelings for you terrified me” He smiled somberly.

“How did you feel about me, really?”

“That is a conversation for another time” He nervously chuckled.

"What? Why not now?" You laughed in response, surely he was joking.

"Y/N" He spoke softly and shut his eyes, wishing you'd drop the subject immediately.

“Are you serious?” Your tone went flat.

“Please drop it, Y/N” He pleaded.

"No, tell me why you don't want to talk about it!" You raised your voice, something you'd never done to him before. It shocked you, but you so desperately wanted to know that your greed for information reared an ugly head.

"Because it hurts! It all hurts. Reliving every second of what our lives as Jedi used to be rips me to pieces” He snapped, taking you by an unpleasant surprise, "I can't talk about this anymore" He concluded, his tone riddled with painful anguish. He wouldn't look at you, he couldn't if he tried.

Before you could speak another word, he rose from his seat and returned inside, leaving you alone on the patio to stare into the night sky.

You were angry with yourself for pushing him. Of course it hurt, you knew that as well as he did, so you should've known better than to insist upon the discussion. It did not sway your curiosity. Your mind still pondered how he may have felt for you back then. As he said, it's a conversation for another time.

Truly, you were still confused about his feelings for you now. You'd just made love and it was everything your heart dreamed of since you first fell for him all those years ago. You'd been too foolish to admit to yourself that it was love that you felt for him, not just friendship, not just tension, not just attraction.

It is love.

Part 4 is here!

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