DP x DC worlds greatest detectives ramble
You ever just get a bit tired of the batfamily being dumb?
Sure I appreciate a good “Danny is weird and the Bats try to figure out his deal and draw wrong conclusions based on incomplete evidence” fic as much as the next guy, and I’m definitely not saying not to write them
But the thing is, they’re all really smart. It’s their whole thing, they’re a family of detectives that dress up in colorful costumes and fight crime, but detectives nonetheless
And I get it’s for humorous effect to have otherwise intelligent people be incredibly dumb about one thing, but it’d just be nice to see them be smart sometimes. Even in a fic where they’re drawing the wrong conclusions, it’d be nice to see them use their detective skills
Like build a case so solid Danny questions whether they’re actually right about him and if he’s just confused
Or just apply it to more conventional situations/crimes
Because frankly it’s funnier if you show they’re smart before having them do something really stupid
If you build them up a bit, then it’s funnier when they fall down.
“Where did he go? It’s like he vanished into thin air!?”
“Don’t be silly, see these scuff marks? Someone recently went down this way. The gravel here has been disturbed indicating this manhole cover has been moved recently. Now if we just prop this up…”
“…huh, is that…?”
“Killer Croc and not the twink we were just tracking?”
“Yeah, that”
“Yeah, that’s killer croc… hi Waylon”
*large scaly hand darts out and drags Bat in question down in the sewers while Danny watches invisibly*
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got caught in one of the back wheels of the bandwagon, extended corniverse headcanons be upon ye
my bryce and clark are based on the lovely lovely designs for them made by @gaybearwedding !! (well they at least were initially. things may have gotten away from me)
additional dumb doodling under the cut
(and one for my little team illinois + nebraska ocs ⬇️)
notes, headcanons, etc:
- the Wicked shirt and the blue button down (from the group pic in the first photoset) are both shirts i’ve owned for a long time and are still in my closet right now
- the team illinois and team nebraska captains are named dani (daniela) and miya and pretty much exactly what happened between bryce and clark also happened with them. they also spent a summer road-tripping together; prime grounds for homosexual thoughts to happen
- for anybody who’s watched the off book episode The Kids Are At Night with Mary Sohn (10/10 episode highly recommended), i imagine that most nights after clark gets done helping his sisters* with their homework he’s probably looking up online editions of Boy Boy Magazine. gotta get connected to the culture
* = my headcanon is that he has two sisters, one older one younger
- the Away Team is from the same country as Princess Emily but they’re diehard Nothing Everything Children Glass fans (is there an actual name for the group who made it?? tag with your headcanon for the band name) and there is a rivalry between the two factions
that’s all ive got for now thanks for reading all my weird little ideas!! 💖💖
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The Home Theater
Satan
"I don't remember the House of Lamentation having one of these," MC notes as they take in their surroundings. "Whose idea was it to put one here?"
"It was mine," I answer. "Barbatos helped me set everything up. All the equipment, the acoustics...it's all top-notch."
"By human world standards, or Devildom ones?" I've forgotten how observant they are. MC seems to enjoy taking in all sorts of information, even if it seems insignificant to other people. That's one of the things I like about them.
"According to the employee at DevTech--I mean, Best Buy--we have the top-of-the-line equipment, and the quality is comparable to some of ours." I hate that I keep swapping human world names with Devildom ones. I personally feel like I'm better than that.
"Have you guys used it yet?"
"Funny that you mention that, because we just started a zombie movie marathon last weekend."
"Was that your idea as well?" I nod my head.
"The idea of zombies has interested me for a while now. While there are diseases and curses that can induce a zombie-like state in demons, it's usually a temporary problem that can be solved with medicine. That doesn't seem to be the case with humans."
"Are you solely basing that on our movies?"
"Of course not. I've also read books."
"Fiction or non-fiction?" Oh, I'm about to blow their mind.
"Both, actually."
While the human world seems to focus on the fantastical elements of zombies, the Devildom has meticulously recorded all zombie outbreaks that have occurred throughout the centuries. You see, sometimes a human zombie accidentally stumbles in the Devildom, and we have to deal with that situation properly in order to prevent chaos.
While we've certainly dealt with the stereotypical zombies--the ones that are slow-moving, crave brains, and are more or less dead--those aren't the only ones that we've come across. Some are capable of sprinting, others aren't too keen on brains, and there's even those that appear perfectly fine on the outside but have some kind of parasite in their brain that's making them carry out orders with no thought whatsoever.
Although, sometimes the parasite doesn't have a physical form and is instead created as a result of rather intense brainwashing.
"I see," MC states once I've completed my mini lecture. "Somehow, that's never come up in any of my classes."
"That's because you've only taken general knowledge ones. RAD offers majors, and with those comes specific classes for particular areas of study. Although, in order to declare a major, you have to prove that you have a solid understanding of the fundamentals first, since you might get pulled to teach a class or two."
"Has that ever happened to you guys?"
"Lucifer and I are the only ones out of our bunch that have declared a major. Belphie's been offered, but he doesn't want to deal with the responsibility of teaching, so he just takes whatever interests him. The others simply haven't proven themselves yet. Levi struggles with attendance, and Beel has difficulty concentrating. As for Mammon and Asmo, I think they're content with where they're at right now, so they're not going to push themselves too hard."
"What do you and Lucifer major in?"
"He does potions and curses. I focus on history and literature. Somehow, despite my sin, I tend to be a more patient teacher than him. At least, that's what I've heard from other students."
"That's really interesting." MC appears deep in thought. "Do you think I could major in something?"
Honestly, I don't know how to answer that question, mainly because we've never had beings outside the Devildom attend RAD before Diavolo implemented the exchange program. It wouldn't surprise me if he did allow MC and the others to declare a major eventually, but I don't know how long that would take. Would MC be alive by then? Or be in a good physical and mental state to take in additional knowledge, let alone teach an entire classroom? Personally, I think they have the best chance out of the initial exchange students of eventually declaring a major, but that isn't for me to determine.
"That would be something to ask Diavolo. I don't think I'm qualified to answer that question." MC nods their head.
"So, changing the subject...wanna watch a movie together?"
"Like, right now?"
"Yeah!" I sigh.
"As much as I would like to, I doubt the others would be happy if I kept you all to myself before they've even had the chance to say hi to you. I will have to take your offer some other time."
"Sounds good. I'll try to find a good movie for us to watch together in the meantime."
"You bring the movie, and I'll whip up something nice for us to eat." MC snorts in amusement. "Do you not think I'm capable of cooking, MC?"
"It's not that at all. Just reacting to an idea I had, that's all."
"What kind of thought?" Interesting. My question has made them tense up all of a sudden. Usually they only get that way if someone catches them doing something that they think they're not supposed to do. Like fiddling with strange objects.
Or having dirty thoughts.
I keep coming across the phrase "Netflix and chill" in the media I've been consuming, and it appears to be referring to hooking up with someone as a movie's playing in the background. Is MC wanting to do that with me?
Are they afraid I'd find the idea silly? Because I don't. I mean, if it was something that I was invested in, then I'd want to pay attention to whatever was playing, but I'm more than capable of choosing something that I can tune out as I focus on something else.
Especially if that something else happens to be MC.
I lean in closer to them to whisper,
"You know, I went ahead and assembled a collection of movies I thought you'd like." I plant a kiss right below MC's ear, making them shiver slightly. "I really enjoyed picking them out, actually." I begin moving down their neck. "It was fun thinking about what might appeal to you. There are so many genres that are worth exploring."
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