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#except Gordon Ramsey
outism-had-a-purpose · 9 months
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Top 10 certified limbus moments to me is the time Outis called Eunbong a tacky name for a restaurant and when the owner mentions that he named it after his mother the fucking. music just abruptly cuts off, followed by Sinclair softly saying “Oh.”
Then Ryoshu out of all people tells her T.W.H. (that was harsh)
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dykelizard · 1 year
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do you think hannibal is a fan of cooking shows. like do you think he enjoys watching gordon ramsey ream people out over their frankly horrendous basting techniques because i think he would enjoy it greatly
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voidsentprinces · 1 year
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Every DoH/L Trainer: Why this...this is a HIGH QUALITY Left THUMB OF THE SECOND BORN SON OF JESUS HIMSELF! THIS IS INCREDIBLE! No, worker let alone ARTISAN IN THIS CRAFT! Has ever been able to produce a thumb of THIS QUALITY! You astound me! I BOW TO YOU! Truly our guild will never be able to see a legend like you again!
Warrior of Light at level 30:
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lesbiansanemi · 1 year
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Alright the swordsmith village premiere reminded my brain that I like watching more than competition cooking shows again so will be watching the new hell’s paradise episodes now and then finally actually fucking starting revolutionary girl utena
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stylesloveclub · 1 year
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Pleasing (jealous blurb)
In which another waiter flirts with y/n, and Harry gets really jealous.
* 。˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。 * 。 • ˚  ˛ 。* 。• ° 。* 。 • ˚
Y/n stands in front of Harry, dressed in an oversized apron and a silly little chef's hat that she’d found discarded in his pantry.
“Tonight,” Harry announces, “we’re going to make a simple honey-garlic glazed salmon, served on white rice with a side of roasted vegetables. Do you have all your ingredients prepared?”
His kitchen island is covered with all the necessary materials that she might need for the cooking session that Harry’s planned for them. “Yes, chef!” she salutes.
Considering how he’s one of the world’s best chefs and she’s a college student who only ever goes into her kitchen to boil water for her cup of noodles… he thought it’d be cute if he planned a little cooking lesson for her. He’s chosen a meal on the rather simple side ��� fish is quick to cook and takes very little prepping, and rice is a food that even a child could make. Paired with a healthy variety of vegetables, this is the perfect meal that he thinks y/n should learn to cook for herself so that she wouldn’t be living off of frozen meals anymore.
He rolls his eyes at her silly behavior. “This isn’t Hell’s Kitchen, puppy.”
“I dunno,” she contemplates. “You’re giving Gordon Ramsey vibes right now.”
“Except m’not gonna yell at you and make you cry.” He steps forward and cups her face tenderly, looking into her pretty eyes, his gaze filled with adoration and care. “Just want you to be able to make yourself something other than a frozen pizza.”
She smiles cutely, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss him sweetly. His eyes flutter shut momentarily, reveling in her soft kiss. “You’re so sweet,” she murmurs against his lips. “M’ready to learn. Tell me what to do.”
He pulls away. “Preheat the oven to 425. Do you know how to do it, or do you want me to show you?”
She rolls her eyes. “I know how to turn on an oven.”
“Hey miss sassy, just asking!” He steps back in surrender. “I’ll get the vegetables ready while you do that, then.” He grabs their carrots, cauliflower, zucchini, and sweet potatoes (all veggies that y/n had picked out when they’d gone grocery shopping together), and runs them under the water to rinse them clean.
Meanwhile, y/n stands in front of his oven, a furrow between her brows. In her shitty little kitchen at her apartment, the oven just has one panel where you enter the temperature you want, and then a single button to “Start.” Harry, however, has two ovens stacked on top of each other, with a bunch of complicated settings. Did it matter if they used the top oven or the bottom oven? Were they baking or broiling? Convection on or off?
“Um, Harry…” She looks at him helplessly, tail between her legs. “I don’t know how to work this.”
He shakes his head and chuckles, drying the rinsed vegetables off. “I thought you knew how to turn an oven on?”
“Okay well your oven is stupid and fancy,” she gripes, crossing her arms as he saunters towards her cockily.
He stands behind her, leaning over her shoulder so that his front presses against her back as he adjusts the settings. One of his hands rests gently on her shoulder as he murmurs in her ear, “Press top oven, then bake. Then you press start once and put in 425, then press it again and it’ll start heating up.”
She grumbles once more, Harry hovering behind her with a satisfied smirk. “What next?”
“Need to cut the vegetables.”
“Okay, I can do that!”
“No, no…” Harry stops her as she reaches for the huge knife that he’d set out on the cutting board. This knife is meant for professionals, sharp enough to cut through a piece of paper in midair. “You’ll hurt yourself.”
She pouts at him. “Harryyy,” she whines. “Let me help!”
“You are helping! You can make the sauce right now, baby, that’s the most important part,” he coos reassuringly, “Let me do the cutting though, don’t want you to cut your fingers or anything. The knife is just a bit too big for you.” He presses a soft kiss to her fingertips as he says it, re-emphasizing how delicate and precious she is to him. “Okay?”
“Okay,” she agrees softly. She can’t help but melt into a puddle when he takes that soft tone with her, talking down to her sweetly and making her feel all fuzzy inside. Of course she’ll listen to him! Especially when he kisses her fingertips so softly like that!
“Good girl,” he praises. “Can you get the honey and mix it with some lemon juice?”
She nods, mixing the ingredients into one bowl and whisking them until the honey is no longer as thick and sticky as it initially was, watered down by the acidic lemon juice. She looks at Harry expectantly, who’s cutting the carrots into bite sized pieces at the cutting board, waiting for the next instructions. “I put some butter to melt in the microwave,” he says, “could you take it out and add it to your sauce?”
She does that as well, then adds some garlic and pepper flakes as instructed by Harry, whisking it together until she has a rich sauce sitting in front of her.
“That’s gonna be for the salmon, so you can set it to the side for now.” He brings a big bowl of chopped vegetables and sets it in front of y/n. “Now we’ve got to toss these with some oil so it doesn’t burn in the oven. And some seasoning, obviously.” He lets y/n add the salt and pepper, and adds a generous drizzle of oil, before showing y/n how to toss it all together so that each piece gets evenly coated. Then, together they spread the veggies out on the baking tray. By this point the oven has preheated all the way, and is ready for the veggies to go in.
“Let me do it,” y/n says when Harry opens the oven.
He looks at her hesitantly, but she pouts up at him with her cute, puppy dog face. The one that gets her whatever she wants, the one Harry can’t say no to. “Fine. But wear some oven mitts.”
After the veggies go in the oven, Harry does most of the remaining work. He massages their salmon fillets with the sauce that y/n made (which he makes sure to compliment, tasting a bit of the sauce and telling her how yummy it is and how nicely she made it), then puts them on a baking pan right underneath the veggies. “We put the vegetables in first because they need 40 minutes in the oven, more or less. The fish, however, needs to come out of the oven in exactly 15 minutes, or else it’ll be dry. Got it?”
She nods from where she’s positioned herself on his kitchen counter, watching him wash his hands. He slots himself to stand between her legs, hands resting on her spread thighs. “What do you think?” he asks, “Easy enough to make on your own?”
She wraps her arms around his neck. “Yeah, I think I could do it. Don’t think it’ll be as good as when you make it though,” she pouts.
He kisses her cheek. “I’ll always cook for you when we’re together. This is only for when I’m away. What did you eat when I was in Milan?”
“Um… a lot of bagels. And dino nuggets.”
He holds in his gag, imagining the sad, soggy nuggets that she must’ve been having for dinner when he wasn’t there to make her gourmet meals. “Exactly. You need to be able to make yourself some nutritious meals for when I’m not here to cook for you.”
Her fingers curl into the hair at the back of his head, staring up at him sweetly. She can’t believe she somehow snagged a guy who cared this much about her, who would spend his weekend teaching her how to cook vegetables so that she had something healthy to eat when he wasn’t with her.
She’s just about to lean in for a kiss when her phone rings, interrupting their little moment. Harry steps away from his spot between her legs, letting her hop down from the counter and rush to her phone.
“Hi!!,” she says to whoever’s on the other side of the phone, one of her friends from college from what he can tell. Her voice is sweet and sugary, like always.
Harry leans on the counter, crossing his arms across his chest as he watches her with a fond smile. She bites mindlessly at her cuticles as she listens to what her friend is telling her, and he stops himself from walking over to pull her hand away from her mouth. Her nail biting habit is one that he’s trying to break, not a fan of the way she sometimes makes her pretty hands bleed from how often she bites at them.
“When are you going?” y/n asks on the phone, pacing from one side of the kitchen to the other. “Today? Oh… no, I don’t think I can come. I’m…um, I’m at my friend's house.” She stutters over her words as she tries to figure out how to word it, very clearly avoiding name dropping Harry, or even hinting that she’s at a guy’s house.
It makes Harry’s brows furrow. She’s at her friend’s house? Friend? He doubts she gets on her hands and knees and begs to get fucked by her other friends.
In his head, they were in a relationship. She was his, and he was hers. No questions asked.
He cares for her quite deeply, if it wasn’t obvious, and for the most part believed that she felt the same way. So he wonders… why would she avoid calling him more than just a friend? Did her friends even know that she was seeing someone, or did she not even want to call whatever they have going on as “seeing each other?”
The oven timer goes off before he can question her about it.
A conversation for later, he supposes.
* 。˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。 * 。 • ˚  ˛ 。* 。• ° 。* 。 • ˚
“Hey, y/n!”
Harry’s ears perk up when he hears her name, being called from down the hallway.
“What’s up, Jason?” she responds, bright and bubbly. She’s always like that at work, no matter how dragging her shift may be. He thinks that’s why the staff like her so much – she’s a drop of sunshine right in the middle of their restaurant.
“How are you doing?” he asks, smiling down at her and crossing his arms in a way that he hopes makes his biceps bulge attractively. Jason is another one of the waiters at Pleasing, a college student just like y/n. They’d once bonded over the fact that they go to the same university, but he majors in business, which is completely unrelated to what she studies.
“Oh, good! Same old, same old,” she huffs cheerily, waving her hand in the air as if she were waving away her troubles. “V’got a huge party coming in at 8, you know how that is.” Having a table of seven people is always a struggle… larger parties tend to stay at the restaurant for up to 4 hours, ordering a bunch of extra drinks and sweets until they’re practically kicked out of the restaurant. Y/n dreads the thought of how much she’ll be running around, trying to keep up with seven people’s orders, and how late she’ll be stuck here. If they’re coming in at 8… christ she might not get home until 1 in the morning. She wonders if Harry’ll be willing to wait for her so that they could still drive home together.
“Damn, that sucks,” Jason hisses sympathetically. “You know… how about I talk to Alfredo and see if we could switch tables?”
“Oh, don’t be silly Jason! You’re basically done for tonight, didn’t you just get the bill for your last table?”
“I mean– yeah, but I insist.” He smiles down at her charmingly, “you work so hard, I think you deserve to go home early tonight, yeah? Let me take care of your tables.”
Harry decides he’s heard enough. He stands from his desk, brows furrowed and steps out into the hallway, where he sees his y/n, smiling up at this silly college boy. It grinds his gears, jaw clenching and fingers fisting at his sides.
“Jason. Y/n.” he snaps. Their smiles are instantly ripped off their faces, the two employees straightening up as soon as they hear Harry’s stern voice. “What are we standing around for? Don’t you have tables to attend to?”
“Apologies, chef,” Jason says, at the same time y/n murmurs out a soft, “Sorry Mr. Styles.” She looks at him sadly, seemingly wounded by the harsh tone of his voice, and it takes everything in him not to melt at the sight of her sad puppy eyes.
“Get back to work,” he grits out harshly, turning on his heel.
He steps into his office, and slams the door behind him.
“What a miserable old prick, am I right?” Jason murmurs to y/n to lighten the moment, when he thinks Mr. Styles can no longer hear them. She doesn’t respond.
Harry doesn’t know how to interpret her silence.
* 。˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。 * 。 • ˚  ˛ 。* 。• ° 。* 。 • ˚
There’s a quiet, timid knock at Harry’s office door.
“Mr. Styles?” Y/n steps in nervously, shutting the door behind her.
Harry looks up momentarily, then back down at his paperwork. He ignores her.
“Harry?” she tries again. Again, he says nothing. His brows are furrowed as harshly scribbles something out on his paper, but it’s not his usual concentrated furrow. He seems upset.
“What’s wrong?” she pries, stepping closer to his desk. When he once again doesn't even glance up at her, she huffs. “Why are you ignoring me?”
He stops writing, his blue pen halting mid-word on his paper, before speaking slowly. “How do you think I feel, when I see you entertain that stupid boy’s flirting?”
She pouts, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Flirting? I… I haven’t been flirting with anyone?” she says quizzically, confused by this random accusation.
He scoffs, finally looking up at her. “I know you’re not that stupid, puppy.”
She blinks at him, still confused.
“That boy– Jason.” he grumbles. “He’s so clearly flirting with you.”
“Jason?” she asks again.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it.”
“I– well… he’s just being nice,” y/n explains, as if Harry’s a child throwing a tantrum. “You’re overreacting.”
He blinks at her, processing her words. Overreacting. As if everyone in the kitchen hasn't noticed the way Jason stares at y/n's ass whenever she bends down, or how he's always falling behind on his tables trying to talk to her! Could she really not have noticed?
He shakes his head in disbelief. “Fine, whatever.” He looks back down at his paperwork.
The audacity of this man, she thinks to herself, to ignore her like a fucking five year old. “He offered to cover my tables, that’s it–” she continues to explain, but he cuts her off.
He holds in the urge to explode. “I dropped it,” he grits out instead. “I suggest you do the same.”
In his head, he's envisioning every single way that Jason's ever looked at y/n weirdly, all the instances in which Jason's flirted with her, asked her if she has a boyfriend. But, if she’s going to ignore the way Jason was smiling at her, standing so close to her, offering to do favors for her... then there’s no point in him trying to fight it.
He’s just a friend to her, anyways.
“Leave me. I have work to finish,” he mutters coldly.
He starts writing, and she feels her heart break a little bit.
“Yes sir,” she murmurs, voice thick as she steps out of his office.
* 。˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。 * 。 • ˚  ˛ 。* 。• ° 。* 。 • ˚
The rest of her shift is dull.
Jason doesn’t end up taking her table, since Mr. Styles had yelled at them and scared him off, so she’s up on her feet, constantly buzzing from the dining room to the kitchen, heart heavy with every step.
Every time she goes down the hallway, past Harry’s office door, she feels resentment building up in her chest. How dare he? Accuse her of flirting with someone else, when she was literally just doing her job, then ignoring her and kicking her out of his office like she’s some stray puppy annoying him for some food.
God, the fucking nerve! Was she supposed to just stop being nice to people to appease Harry’s jealousy? How could anyone in their right mind think offering to cover someone’s tables is a method of flirting?
“Psst.” She’s snapped out of her rage by Grace poking at her shoulder. “Jason wanted me to give you this.”
She looks down at the small piece of paper Grace holds out to her. “What is it?” She opens it up, and finds 10 digits written down in scrawny, boyish handwriting. A phone number.
Grace smiles at her teasingly. “He asked me if you’re single. He’s super into you, said he’s been trying to drop hints ever since you got hired but you’re always too busy to notice.”
Oh, she realizes, heart dropping. Harry was right.
* 。˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。 * 。 • ˚  ˛ 。* 。• ° 。* 。 • ˚
She stays behind after the restaurant closes, hoping to get a moment alone with Harry. He hasn’t left his office at all tonight, not even to check on the chefs when one of them burnt some bread in the toaster. As everyone packs up their stuff, closes up their stations, and leaves, y/n stays in the staff room.
Only once everyone has left does she head to his office.
The light from under his door is the only thing lighting up the dark hallway. She knocks softly, but enters without waiting for him to say “come in.”
He looks up, slightly startled. He thought he was the only one left in the building. His tense shoulders relax when he realizes it’s just y/n.
His hair is mussed, curly tendrils sticking every which way as if he’d been raking his fingers through it every five minutes, tugging at his roots frustratedly. “What is it?” he asks. His eyes are red and stressed too… he’s never looked this tired.
“Jason asked me out,” she says, fingers wringing behind her back nervously. Harry freezes. His shoulders tense and his heart stops.
“Oh.” He puts his pen down and looks up at her. “Are you going to say yes?” he asks lightly, no indication of the turmoil in his stomach.
“Jesus Harry,” she breathes, confused and shocked by his words. “No, why would I? Why would you even think that?”
He shrugs. “Makes more sense for you to be dating a college kid. Someone who goes to school with you, who you can tell your friends about.” His words slowly reveal his insecurities, that he’s older than her, boring and something that she might be ashamed of. “Better than dating some miserable old prick, isn’t it?”
“Harry…” she trails off softly. “I’m– I’m not the slightest bit interested in Jason. Or anyone else.” She looks up at him with round eyes, her voice growing shy, “only… only you.”
“Well then, why–” he cuts himself off, trying to formulate his words in his head. He shakes his head at himself, frustrated, and stares at the table. ““The other day, when you were at mine… you told your buddies that you were at a ‘friends’ house.” He looks up at her sadly, “It was like you were trying to keep us a secret. Like you didn’t want them to know you were… seeing someone.”
Her breath hitches in her throat as he continues, “If you don’t want t’tell your friends, then how am I supposed to know that we’re… exclusive? It made me feel like– like you didn’t think this was as serious as I did.”
“No,” she breathes, “no, you’ve got it all wrong.”
She walks around his desk to stand in front of him. He rolls his chair back, and she situates herself on his lap, straddling him and holding onto his face. “I didn’t tell them because… well we just haven’t talked about it, have we?” Her eyes flicker with insecurity as she rubs her delicate fingers over his cheekbones, his stubble rough against the skin of her pretty hands. “Because… well what if I went around telling people that I’m your girlfriend, and you didn’t want that? What if I’m just some clingy kid who just self-proclaimed myself as your girlfriend?”
He holds her wrist gently, keeping her hands pressed against his cheek. “Baby...” he murmurs delicately.
“I was worried that maybe you didn’t want to call it the same thing I did,” she continues sadly. “I– I didn’t want to scare you off.”
“Puppy… I thought you knew,” he cups her jaw and looks into her eyes so earnestly that she feels her heart swell. “Thought you knew that you’re mine, that m’obsessed with you.” He nudges his nose against hers softly, “Don’t care what you call it, as long as you’re mine.”
“I’m yours,” she whispers back with a smile. “Nobody else’s.”
“I… I got so sad when I saw him flirting with you,” he admits shyly. “Thought he was gonna steal you away.”
“I’m sorry, I should’ve–”
“S’not your fault, puppy. You’re too sweet to even notice it, always wanna see the best in people.” He chuckles to himself warmly, caressing her cheek softly, “precious little thing.”
“Well, if it helps,” she says, leaning her face towards his touch, “I texted him and said I’m not interested. Told him that I’m seeing someone,” her eyes glimmer happily, “and that it’s pretty serious.”
His eyes grow warm and a grin spreads on his face, “good… yeah, that’s good.” With one hand cupping her jaw and another on her waist to hold her steady on his lap, he leans in for a kiss, slotting their lips together and fluttering his eyes shut.
* 。˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。 * 。 • ˚  ˛ 。* 。• ° 。* 。 • ˚
When they get home, it’s all soft touches and warm words.
He’s so happy, a warm feeling bubbling in his stomach at the idea that y/n is his… that she’s his girlfriend, or whatever you want to call it. It’d been so long since he felt like this, so long since he’d been in a serious, real relationship. It made him giddy. He felt like he was 12 years old, kissing a girl for the first time all over again.
He pulls her into his bedroom before she even has the chance to put her stuff down, taking her bag from her and stripping her of her clothes. He unbuttons her blouse slowly, kissing her softly as he fiddles with each button, and unzips her skirt, letting it fall to the floor. He guides her hands up to his shirt, so that she could do the same– undress him, kiss him, run her hands up and down his bare chest the way he’s doing to the soft skin of her back.
He places her on his bed gently, hovers over her and kisses all over her, just worshiping her. He kisses her face, her cheeks, her lips, down her neck, over her breasts, and along her stomach. He kisses her core, licks and sucks somehow romantically, until she’s cumming on his tongue, whimpering his name softly and arching her back towards him. Her hands touch all over his body, skimming over his muscular back and gripping his shoulders as he comes back up to kiss her.
He lines himself up with her, and pushes in one smooth, gentle stroke. Her legs wrap around his hips, and he rocks into her, moaning into her mouth and breathing heavily against her neck.
“Fuck baby,” he whispers, “You’re mine. Mine to touch, mine to fuck, mine to look at.” She moans delicately, opening her eyes and staring up at him with rose-clouded vision. “Say it– tell me you’re mine,” he whimpers.
“Yours,” she whines, “all yours.”
When he cums, he cums inside of her, spurting into her in long, thick streaks that fill her to the brim. He moans softly into her neck, shuddering on top of her, and she caresses her fingers through his hair, kissing all over his face until he pulls out. They lie next to each other, and in her sleepy haze, she whispers out his name.
“If I’m yours, does that mean you’re mine too?” she asks, eyes wide.
He turns towards her and brushes her hair out of her face, “That’s exactly what that means sweetheart.” He kisses her sweetly. “M’all yours."
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bixbiboom · 1 year
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Sam’s gas can this week features a poster for Hell’s Kitchen, except the title reads Bells Hells Kitchen and the head of Ashton’s official character art has been superimposed over Gordon Ramsey’s head, and his chef jacket is splattered with expensive marinara.
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bananonbinary · 12 days
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ive never actually watched anything gordon ramsey (except chef jr) so i thought id check out kitchen nightmares
it is WILD how different the british 2004 version is from the american 2007 version oh my god
and its not because "ooh americans are insane"
the british one (at least the first few episodes ive seen) is a little depressing, because they didnt do a good job framing a narrative arc. a restaurant is suffering believable problems, ramsey comes in, fixes the restaurant...and then theres a check in a month later to reveal that it went back to shit the second he left. it's honest, but not very fun television.
the american one has the opposite problem. i actually couldnt even get through the first episode because it's so over-the-top obviously staged bullshit. like i can practically SEE the director off screen saying "yes! now everyone shout at once!" and theres a cheesy narrator telling me EXACTLY what i'm supposed to feel at all times. i guess its probably entertaining for some people, but my god i can actively feel my brain going numb at how stupid and substanceless it is.
like, i know reality tv is a shithole, but surely there was a middle ground here, where they told mostly real stories, but with a little bit more editing flare to give it a satisfying emotional arc.
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drunk-cryptic-witch · 10 months
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Gordon Ramsey: Look I don’t yell at kids
Gordon Ramsey: *holding up bakugo like a cat* This little fucker is an exception
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karoochui · 4 months
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*raises hand* Can I throw in my two cents about sassy/moody Sun in Help Wanted 2?
Maybe Sun is the Gordon Ramsey of arts and crafts? Sweet and kind to kids, but brutal with adults?
I AGREE except okay imo perhaps not brutal right off the bat but i dont think itd be too hard to get there. I think he does his absolute best with kids (even if sometimes his energy comes off as excessive) and just generally like whatever with other people unless given a reason to be like. Fuck you especially. But i do think he's much more rude to adults and tbh fair. I like to think he takes the time to feel people out iykwim
Also i was decorating cookies yesterday and i kept thinking abt the arts and crafts minigame lmao
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whatwooshkai · 24 hours
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11 👁️
Graham feels like he shouldn't be getting this much enjoyment out of this, but it's fascinating.
He's currently perched on Boulder's shoulder, looking down at them scribble their findings on a datapad. The other rescue bots are in front of them, seated at a makeshift table. Their optics are turned off, tied with blindfolds as extra security, with their audials turned off.
And they're eating rocks.
It's like that bit on Hell's Kitchen where Gordon Ramsey has two chefs try the same thing and identify it, except these are these are giant alien robots and they are identifying rocks and minerals and metals.
The most fascinating part of all this is the obvious biases they have. Heatwave had eaten the whole sample of mica and Chase and Blades hadn't hesitated to give him theirs once they figured out what it was. Chase had immediately spit out the cobalt, and Blades hadn't eaten his quartz, but was instead licking it between samples.
And so far, Chase and Blades had been batting a thousand, while Heatwave had been confidently wrong on everything he didn't like.
"Last two," Boulder announces despite the fact they can't hear them, showing Graham the little pieces of gold and silver they'd saved for last. They give him a smile, and Graham starts to pay close attention.
Boulder hands out the gold first. Chase takes a tentative bite, before frowning. He seems to reluctantly swallow it. "Gold," he mutters, seeming disappointed. He hands his piece to Blades, who has a much more positive reaction, positively lighting up when he tastes it.
Heatwave plays with it a little bit, feeling it bend under his digits, before giving them a snaggle-toothed scowl. "I'm not eating gold, Boulder," he snaps, probably louder than he means to be, passing the piece to Blades, who happily accepts it.
Graham grins. "Is there is a story there?"
Boulder's gaze becomes haunted and far away for a moment. "A story for another time," they say, their expression reminiscent of someone having war flashbacks. But it's gone in an instant.
Surprisingly, Chase loves the silver. Blades eats it without complaint, but Heatwave spits it back out.
"And we're done!" Boulder brings up the chart to show Graham the results, tapping the ones in red. "I like to do this every once in a while, because their tastes change occasionally. I like to know everyone's favorite additives, and it's more fun for them if I make it a game." They give him a conspiratorial grin. "And it's good to know what to put in the high grade to keep Heatwave out of it."
Graham can't help but laugh. "Sabotage, Boulder? I didn't think you capable!"
They just give him a cheeky grin.
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tf2incorrectquotes · 7 months
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Team Fortress 2 Headcanon #9:
The Mercs in the kitchen:
Heavy: Is a pretty reliable cook due to supporting his mother with household maintenance for most of his life, even if most of their meals were bear meat.
Spy: Has an extravagant taste in food but is a mediocre chef. Has to be reminded not to smoke in the kitchen.
Pyro: Loves to bake pastries for their friends! Would be an exceptional chef if it weren't for their tendencies to make everything supernaturally spicy.
Scout: Prefers fast food and snacks to big, fancy dinners. Doesn't have the patience to attempt anything too complicated on his own, but can be talked into being a helper for a more competent chef.
Demoman: Is like a drunken Gordon Ramsey in the kitchen and the go-to chef for team meals.
Medic: Is extremely experimental with his recipes so the team never knows how good or bad a team meal by the Medic is going to taste. At least all the meals he makes are nutritionally good for you.
Soldier: Is obsessed with making WW2-style rations. Will eat all his food regardless of taste or overall safety of the meal, and yours too, because "he ain't no quitter".
Engineer: He has been working on a dispenser to create food so he doesn't have to cook. Not everything that comes out of it is edible.
Sniper: Prefers to cook outdoorsy food, like barbeques, salads and sandwiches.
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neurotypical-sonic · 1 year
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that "gordon ramsey with kids vs with adults" video except its eggman with metal and sage vs with orbot and cubot
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stxr-bxy · 3 months
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sometimes i remember there is a fanfiction where everything in harry potter is the same except gordon ramsey is potions professor 💀
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pinkykats-place · 1 year
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bakugo katsuki x male reader inserts
Tumblr Recommendations
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Disclaimers!
None of these fics are mine!
Some fics contain mature content!
Note: if you read and like any of these stories - like, leave a comment and/or reblog original post!
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
𝓭𝓲𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓽.
[Pro Hero Bakugou]
Summary: Crazy buff pro hero baku meeting y/n's cutesy femboy ex boyfriend. And he gets jealous / insecure bc they are so different.
I'm soft and I know it
Summary : Bakugou's boyfriend y/n looks scary and intimidating but is actually a huge softie
Soft Boy
Katsuki Bakugou x Male Reader
𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠
Summary: Bakugou takes his boyfriend home to meet his mom.
Better Than Him
Hurt/Comfort
You are blowing off Bakugo for Midoriya … do you like him better?
Pick Eater
Fluff Fic ft. chef Baku
Whiny!
Wait and See
Roommate au
Party Games and Punishments
Warnings: rough-ish sex, cum, anal, use of hidden toy in public
MDNI! NSFW under the cut
All characters are over 18
Bakugo Heat Headcanons
O!Bakugo Katsuki x A!Male Reader
So in love with you
Alpha!PH!Bakugo x Omega!Male!Reader
Summary: Pro Hero Bakugo’s mate is drop dead gorgeous. Too bad for everyone else because he’s possessive af.
You're so pretty baby....
Katsuki x Dom!male!reader
Summary: Katsuki has a praising kink
I used to have a crush on you
Attitude
dom!male!Reader x sub!Bakugo
College Party (nsfw)
Bakugou x gn!reader (amab version)
Summary: College AU. Bakugou says something dumb while drunk, and you overhear. He follows you too make up for it.
Katsuki Bakugo X Shy Autistic Male Reader
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irisposts · 2 years
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Henry and... Henry?
pairing: henry detamble x reader / genre: smut /tw: cursing, unprotected sex, (f. receiving), mentions of scratching and choking r: 18+
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summary: Young Henry time travels again one morning. You wait until his return, except it’s not your current Henry that comes back. It’s the Henry you’ve missed and longed for...for years.
November 5th, 2017
(Henry is 28, You are 20)
You awake to the New York streets bustling down below. Sunlight peaks through, Henry’s painfully thin curtains. You try to rest your eyes by pressing your head firmly into the pillow. Between the car horns, chatter down below and the sound of pots and pans clinking together, you sit up right. With a sigh you swipe at the sleep on your eyes and look to the empty side of the bed. Henry.
“Dammit!” You hear Henry curse from the kitchen followed by a loud bang.
Your eyes snap to the open doorway, “Henry, is everything alright?”
You quickly get up and walk out his bedroom. Your heart thumps at the thought of him not being there when you round this corner. Recently, he’s been traveling more than usual. It worries you with how little time you have with him. Last week he was gone for five days. You felt like your life had gone upside down. Perhaps it’s the wedding talk, or the fact that you’ve already brought up the conversation about children. Either way, Henry has no control.
You peer your eyes over and sigh in relief as you witness your boyfriend bent over into the refrigerator. “Henry?”
You lean against the wall.
Henry leans back out and slams the door shut. “Everything's fine... I just ran out of milk, eggs, and every single ingredient one needs for breakfast.” He looks over to you with a small, albeit frustrated smile.
His eyes fall to your chest. It’s then that you remember you’re wearing one of his button ups. The baby blue shirt swallows your frame. The hem comes just below your hips. With it being so big, it falls effortlessly off your left shoulder. With the top button undone, revealing just you’re bare skin underneath.
You smile shyly and fix the shirt collar.
As you look around the kitchen you’re heart swells with joy. It’s slightly more messy than usual. Flour covers the counter and some across his nose and cheek. You crunch your nose at the smell of of char.
Henry notices this and curses to himself. “Shit…” He runs over to the stove, swatting at the smoke coming off the pan. He turns the eyes off, and throws his over-cooked bacon into the trash. Then goes to toss the pan into the sink.
You stifle a laugh. “You did tell me you weren’t much of a chief…”
You come up behind him and hug him.
Henry wipes his chest. “Yeah, we’ll future me is a dick,” He turns around to look at you. “ I'm practically Gordon Ramsey.”
“Mmhm,” You giggle this time and rub your thumb across the flour on his cheek. “Whatever you say Henry.”
You lean into him, resting your head along his chest. His heartbeat begins to thump quickly. “This was really sweet honey, I appreciate the effort. Burnt bacon and all.”
Henry kisses the top of your head. “You deserve it,” He separates you two at arms length. “That is why I'm going to the store.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Babe, we can just order something.”
“What are you hating on my cooking skills now?” Henry raises his eyebrows playfully.
“I am.”
“WOWWW!” Henry bends down to kiss your cheek and then your lips. He then walks over to the table to snatch his keys. “I’ll be back!”
You trace your lips and begin to turn around. “Henry, wait I'll—”
When you turn around his clothes fall to the floor.
His keys chime on the way down. You blink, dumbfounded. You stand there for a moment. You then close your eyes walk over to the pile of clothes and begin to fold them neatly.
You place them on the table, for when he comes back. You just pray that it’s soon this time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s been only an hour since Henry time travelled. You climb out the shower and pad over to the sink. You wipe the condensation with your hand, looking back at the reflection.
You notice how dark your eye bags have become. Lately you’ve been staying up late, afraid that you’ll lose him again. Sometimes you’ll just hold him tight, hoping that this is how you can protect him from time.
You clear your throat and grab your toothbrush and toothpaste. You focus your eyes down as you brush your teeth. You begin to dissociate, and think back to the times where you and henry would sit in the clearing. You’d play games and talk, about anything really, if Henry deemed it appropriate. He was kind, mature, full of wisdom. Much different than the young henry you date now. At times you missed him, the older, wiser henry. No. You miss him everyday.
Suddenly, there’s a loud thump from outside the door.
You spit and slam the faucet down. You wipe at your lips. “Henry?”
You open the door and walk down the hallway. Henry lies on the floor naked, in a coughing fit.
“Shit, are you okay?” You quickly rush down to his level.
He holds out a hand. “I’m fine.” He lifts his head up and looks to you. His eyes widen at your flustered face.
The henry you missed, the henry you swore you fell in love with. His hair is the same with small speckles of gray on the side. But he looks much the same. Just slightly older than yours. “It’s you.”
You wrap your arms around him, tightly. Perhaps a bit too tight as he pats your side.
“Y/n, Y/n, I can't breathe —“
You realize and pull away. “Sorry! I’m just—you’re really here. Where are you from?”
(Henry is 35, you are 20)
“2024.”
You stare at him for a moment. “Oh.”
You eyes start to wonder to his chest and lower. You catch yourself. “Here let me…” You stand up in a rush and scramble in the hallway closet for a robe. You throw it across your arm and come back to him.
He takes it and covers his body. You stand off to the side, trying not to be obvious.
“Can I get you anything?”
Henry tightens the knot across his front half. “I’ll take a coffee.”
You nod and make your way to the kitchen. Henry follows you. He scrunches his nose at the mess. “Well, I wasn’t much of a chief now was I?” He notices the burnt pant in the sink.
You chuckle, as you open a cabinet and try to reach for a mug on the top shelf. You curse Henry and his height for putting it up so high. You try again, it’s then that you feel him press against you and grab the mug. Your fingers brush against one another as he brings it down.
He steps back, scratching the back of his neck. “How you been?”
You turn away from him and place his mug under the coffee machine. You press a button and gravity makes it fall into the mug. “Mm, I’ve been good. We’ve been talking about moving in together.”
The coffee machine chimes. You turn to pick it up and hand it to him. Your hands brush against one another again. Henry pulls away and brings the warm cup to his lips.
You motion for him to take a seat at the kitchen table. He follows you and takes a seat.
“How is everyone in the future?”
Henry clears his throat at this. “ Gomez and I are really close. He’s really involved in the whole time traveling stuff.”
“So...you’re best friends?”
“Eh.” Henry chuckles as he takes a sip from the mug. “He’s still madly in love with you.”
You cover your face in embarrassment. “God no!” You think back to Gomez professing his love for you.
You guys laugh at this for a moment. “What about us?”
Henry’s smile falls slightly. “We’re fine.”
“Fine?” You furrow your brows and tape your fingers along the wooden table. “Just fine, Henry?”
Henry looks uneasy. “Y/n you know I can’t get into the specifics. We’re fine.”
You chew on your bottom lip, debating on pushing. But you decide to against it. You let out a sigh and look out the window. Watching cars drive by below you.
“How’s school?”
You keep staring out into the distance. “Fine, debating on dropping out.”
Henry chuckles at this, he gets up and places his empty mug into the sink. “You’ll get there .”
You turn to him and lean your arms against the table. “So I’ll graduate no matter what?,” You place a finger on your chin and start to ponder playfully. “So technically I can just not do my homework, if my destiny says so?”
Henry rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t exactly work like that Y/n.”
You stand and walk towards him. “No, I think that’s exactly how that works out Henry.”
You stop when your face to face. His eyes scan your face. His hand comes up to cup your cheek. His thumb rubs soft circles atop your skin. You lean into that familiar touch. You stay like this for a moment.
“I really missed you Henry.”
“I’m always here.”
You shake your head. “No. This version. Of you,” You wrap your arms around his neck. “I missed you.” His hands find their way to your waist.
You look down to his lips and then up to his eyes. “Don’t you miss me?” Your words fall into a whisper.
“Y/N” Henry says matter-a-factly. “We can’t.”
You tilt your head. “Can’t what?”
Henry looks around to his younger self's apartment. He thinks back to his wife. You, but the older version of yourself waiting in bed for your return.
“This is kind of…y’know.”
You shrug with a smile. “It’s not like we’re cheating.”
Henry rolls his eyes at that and stares at you. Your eyes search for that confirmation and you both lean into one another. Your lips press against his and it’s just as tender and sweet from the one before. His lips are soft and he moves with intention and so much love and warmth. His hands come up to cup your face as the kiss intensifies. You gasp as he drops a hand and it presses against the skin of your waist. He pushes your shirt up to your chest. You gasp as your breast pool at the bottom of the top. Henry takes advantage of this and kisses your neck.
You moan as he sucks at the soft skin. “Bedroom, down the hall.”
He chuckles at this making his way back to your lips. “I know.”
You tug at the back of his head and motion for him to walk backwards. He complies and he collides with the wall behind him.
“Shit sorry.” You continue to kiss him feverishly.
“It’s okay,” He mumbles and motions you towards the bedroom. His hands run up and down your body as you two fall back onto the bed. It’s hash, eager and full of lust. You open your legs wider underneath him so he fits more comfortably.
“Fuck,” He moans when you tug at his bottom lip with your teeth. Out of breath you let go with a smile and start to roll up your top. You praise yourself for just wearing a tank top and boxers. He helps you pull the cloth over your arms. He throws it across the room and goes down to devour your chest.
He suckles on one nipple between his lips and he pulls and squeezes the other between his fingers. You whine at the warm suction on your breast.
You don’t know how long you have with this henry. You need him.
“Ah, Henry!” You try to pull down your shorts. But he’s pressed so tightly to your core. “Henry, ah—fuck.”
He notices your bottom half and leans up to give you room. You get the clothing over your hip, then Henry takes over and pulls the rest down. He drops it onto the floor. Henry starts to undo the knot he tied earlier, the robe pools at his feet.
Your eyes grow wide at the mere sight of his cock. Henry is lengthy with just the right amount of girth. Your mouth waters at the sight. You spread your legs. Breathless, when you speak. “Are you gonna keep staring at me or are you gonna fuck me?”
Henry’s chest goes up and down. “But we haven’t—“
You close your eyes in frustration. “Who cares, I’m ready. Please Henry justfuck—!” You gasp at the head of his cock pushing past your entrance.
Henry grips the sheets beneath him. “Fuck, you’re too tight.”
You shake your head. “No, keep going.” You moan as you tighten around him. “I’m fine.”
Henry looks to you apprehensive but obliges. He pulls out and slowly pushes back in. He goes further this time. You both moan in unison as you take him inch by inch.
“You feel so good baby…” Henry throws his head back as he continues to work his way inside of you. You whimper at the fullness in the pit of your stomach. Him inside of you is literal bliss.
Henry leans down atop of you. He kisses your lips as your bottom half’s meet. You breathe and mix together as you two stay like that for a moment.
His voice is shaky as he speaks. “Still doin okay?”
“Mmhm.”
He kisses your lips and then your nose and cheek. “Good.”
He brings his hips back and slams into your core. You scream in absolute pleasure.
Your hand comes up to muffle the pleasure you feel. Henry puts a leg over his shoulder. At this angle he can reach deeper inside of you. It’s almost too much when he doubles down on the strength of his thrusts.
One of your hands grip tightly at the bedding beneath you while the other scratches long lines along his back. You throw your head back as he continues to assault those bundle of nerves. Henry takes advantage of this and marks your neck. You find it hard to breathe as he continues to fuck you senseless.
Older Henry is more intentional with his strokes. He knows exactly where to hit and what angle to do it from. He reads your body like a book. He knows exactly what buttons to push, it drives you mad. They both do. Younger Henry is more wild, he’s fast and more experimental. He’s more rough, likes to make you beg for him. You love both either way.
Henry slows his pace and drops your leg. You wrap it and the other around him, bringing him closer. You smile up at him in a daze. His body glistens with sweat. He returns a similar smile. He reaches out his arm, his hand cups the side of your face. His thumb runs along your bottom lip. He rolls his hip into your center. Making you gasp. “You’re so fucking hot.”
You take his thumb into your mouth. Rolling your tongue along the tip of his finger. He imagines those same lips on his cock. Bobbing up and down, sucking him to the last drop.
The bed begins to rattle as he picks up the pace. He pulls his hand away and brings it down to your chest. He squeezes at your breast as he slams into you. You watch him as he chants your name, loosing himself to the rhythm of fucking you. He brings his hand back up to your neck. He applies pressure, it makes your stomach churn in the best way. You try to cover your moans but he swats your hand away and brings it back down. “I want everyone to hear how good i’m fucking you.”
You practically loose it then.
He places his head between the crook of your neck. “Henry, ah, ah—”
He moans alongside your ear. It makes you want to cum even more. He pounds into you, the bed scrapes at the floor. All you can do is hold on for dear life.
Both of your moans fill the quiet space that neither of you notice the younger henry has travelled back to the present. When he walks through the doorframe he can’t quite figure out the feeling inside him. Resentment, jealousy, lust. He doesn’t say a word as he watches you and older Henry go at it. When you see him, your heart skips a beat. But your on the brink of passing out from the sex that you can only bother to whisper his name. His eyes narrow at you.
It’s at this point Henry clears his throat. “Hey, asshole.”
Older Henry looks back. He quickly stops. You whine at this, pulling him closer to you. “Junior.”
Younger Henry raises up a finger. “You’re having sex with my girlfriend.”
Embarrassed you throw your arm over your eyes. “Guys…”
Older henry rolls his hips at this making you moan aloud. “Technically she’s my wife.” You shake at the intensity of the room and wanting your needs fulfilled.
Present Henry rolls his eyes at this. “Future wife.” He looks at you two for a moment. But focuses entirely on you. How you drip with arousal. He feels his lower half strain. He sighs and rolls his eyes.
“Fuck it.”
He closes the bedroom door and makes his way towards the both of you.
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gojooooo · 29 days
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culinary school students sukuita that always get paired up together because yuuji’s dishes are literally the best. the secret ingredient really might just be love because somehow they always taste right, except… his cutting skills are awful. always messy and uneven. and sukuna, i don’t even need to say it, is the best at it. the best of the best when given a good knife and a cutting board. but still kind of bad with cooking timings so gojo always makes them work together because they’re good students and he really wants them to succeed.
sukuna: oi brat, still can’t dice a simple onion? i learned that when i was still in diapers. wasuke would be disappointed
yuuji, threateningly pointing the knife at him while crying because of the onion: you’re on thin fucking ice. and stop hanging out with my grandpa
gojo, from a distance: aww they’re so much like we used to be
geto: just fucking pray they work somehow peacefully satoru
nanami [gordon ramsey voice]: fuck me. why did you make them work together again. they almost set off the fire alarm last time. jesus christ gojo.
gojo: hm but was the food good?
nanami: ………..yes.
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