#everything is so bothers me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rottenpear · 1 year

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if i could make a little oil paint i’d be so peaceful but my level is so low for that aagghhh

#i know i can do little drawings for now #and i know i cant even read sth bc of everything #everything is so bothers me #but yes yes and yes #i know and and #iif i can do just a little still life with oil paints...#without thinking #i wish i can just paint this grief #my talentless ass need some practices for art #but i dont wanna do anything #well-

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gibbearish · 6 months

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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish #bigger gibbers

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inkskinned · 7 months

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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

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fandom-geek · 8 months

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i think the thing that really gets me about pre-canon durge is their absolute sense of duty, and their utter isolation outside of the cult of bhaal.

most of the cultists seem eager to see durge upon their return, and one even says they were the first to feed him flesh. gortash tells them of an exhibition of a bhaalspawn's corpse and another bhaalspawn's creations and durge immediately plans to attack the hall of wonder to recover them. they then apparently entrust said bhaalspawn's corpse to sceleritas fel to "restore" through taxidermy. they deride orin for her artistry with corpses explicitly because "bhaal will never care" and because orin "[does] not understand lord bhaal".

even their infamous prayer for forgiveness is framed around their absolute submission to bhaal's plans, and the crime that requires forgiveness? admiring his rival's chosen. that's one line, and the next three paragraphs are swearing to carry out his plan exactly as they've been told to, all for his forgiveness.

hell, even their room reinforces this. orin has barely touched the place aside from installing her mother's corpse and her manifesto - and that is some of the only decoration. what was it before orin, an empty room with skulls, a bed, a desk, some chests and a wardrobe?

the durge didn't have any semblance of a life outside of bhaal, aside from gortash. and is it any surprise? the only other hint they ever had a life outside of the cult is the flashback of kid durge murdering their adopted family, all thanks to their father's urging.

bhaal even tries to force them back into isolation after they've been tadpoled by forcing them to kill alfira, and then trying to force a durge who resists him to kill their lover. if they continue resisting, bhaal kills them. bhaal will not allow them to have a life outside of him and, if it weren't for jergal, he would've succeeded.

#bg3 spoilers #the dark urge #honestly writing this all out it's weird that bhaal doesn't try to kill your party when you're at the temple #it'd be perfectly in line with everything else he'd done to durge up until that moment #also just makes me think of how sceleritas will tell an evil durge that the worst thing they've ever done #is giving a beggar a coin without asking for anything in return #ymmv and everyone has their own headcanons but pre canon durge was not a happy or enthusiastic participant as far as canon shows #which is reinforced by gortash saying you've always been better at controlling your urges than orin!#why would durge bother to do that when 'all father wants is death in droves death in numbers'!#honestly i think it's v reasonable to think that durge could've been tempted into bane worship given what little we know of them pre canon #anyway haven't played evil durge myself so very curious abt any insights from that route #baldur's gate

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pinkydoggy83 · 5 months

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🌿🌺 Um. Hi. Hello Trolls Fandom. Still new to this whole thing so excuse me while I say I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS BOYBAND BOY IS DATING THE LITERAL QUEEN OF POP MUSIC?? HELLO??

BUT ALSO WHY ARE THEY GOSH DARN CUTE??? Dreamworks and their couples man I'm telling you.

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dandelion-de-deus · 6 months

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Now I get it. Anne Shirley was right; sometimes pretending you’re an exiled princess fallen from her state or a wealthy criminal who’s decided to take a minimum wage job to evade detection IS the only way to get through the work day

#as a kid part of me wondered why she’d bother to make everything so inefficient and impractical #but I GET it you really do have to pretend you’re just doing this for fun or because it looked interesting. I have my imaginary fortune #this is my goose girl arc #anne of green gables #light thoughts

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starzonez · 10 months

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the fun will never end

#my art #fionna and cake #adventure time #so excited #i always make mistakes in everything i draw T_T fixed some things that bothered me

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jehanthepoet · 2 months

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I think it's worth noting Nara isn't just "Kristen with money." Kristen is an inherently very powerful cleric. She's a chosen one, she created multiple gods, brought a god back to life, brought HERSELF back to life, etc. On that nat20 in sophomore year she was the ONLY ONE who could lift Kalina's curse. Tracker casting the same spell couldn't have done it.

Nara is Kristen with money, but she's also Kristen without that inherent talent. She's Kristen without miracles. She's someone impulsive where it's not just that she lacks follow through (like Kristen), but where that initial impulsively is also less successful.

And, most importantly, I think it's worth noting that without those inherent successes, she's someone Tracker can feel a little superior over.

#i ama kristen apologist firat and everything else secons #but like #since their first conversation its been bothering me that it seems like Tracker felt threatened by Kristen's success #and now that Kristen's hit a bumpy patch Tracker can feel safe in feeling like it was inevitable #(and maybe it was! who knows!)#but Nara was never as successful as Kristen #and so tracker gets to be the unchallenged chosen one #kristen applebees #tracker o'shaughnessey #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy

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bornonthesavage · 7 months

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This is going to be a controversial post, but I find it very “interesting” how people are taking Ed’s storyline this season and projecting it onto Izzy. ED was the one who was suicidal. ED was the one who believed he was unlovable and unloved, and that he had to be something he didn’t want to be just to be a little bit accepted. ED was actively trying to die and get people to kill him because he was too scared to do it himself. ED was the one who was working through years of trauma to find a way to be happy with himself and learn that he is capable of being loved for who he is.

And yeah, Izzy has some of that as well. Though genuinely, that could be said for most of the characters. But it’s SO STRANGE how many people I see saying “Oh well I guess the message of the story is that if you’re suicidal then you should die.”

Like, please, learn some media literacy. Ed and his arc are RIGHT THERE. I feel like I’m living in an alternate reality where we all watched a different show. Why are you unable to relate to Ed? I’ve literally seen people say “Oh well I just don’t care about Ed.” Truly, why are you only able to relate to that storyline when it’s through the perspective of a white man?

I’m not trying to be antagonistic, but this is really bothering me.

#ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd finale #ofmd season 2 #ofmd 2 #renew our flag means death #it’s just really bothering me #how people are erasing everything Ed went through #just so they can make things fit their narrative #you’re allowed to be sad and grieve Izzy #but stop erasing Ed to do it

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puppyeared · 18 days

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updated xin ref

#i havent drawn them in a while ^_^ changed their hanfu a little so they only really wear the top half #and the leg shape as well.. i used doll joints in the past just so it wouldnt bother me drawing their leg bending but at this point idc #the red parts on their hanfu are meant to kinda visually mirror sailor's red rope.. something something bound by fate #and i opted for a ginkgo pattern this time around since i think its suits them better. coincidentally ginkgo also has medicinal properties #and i kept the marking frm when zah drew them because it really is such a nice touch that i wanna keep it in their design :)#and if we're going off the idea of sailor bringing them clothes to wear as souvenirs id bet he picked that pattern out since it #reminded him of xin lol. you can also see they have a little fish charm as their jin bu (sailor has a matching one)#they are so friends to me... i love them sm #still need to update their page a little since i overhauled some of their lore.. theres a whole slidedeck and everything lol #my art #myart #my oc #myoc #oc #xin ya #lmk #lmk oc #lego monkie kid oc #ref sheet #oc ref sheet #oc reference sheet #fur #furry art #furry

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thejasontoddarchives · 7 months

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Gotham War is really playing out like God’s plan, ain’t it now

Task Force Z #4 (2022)

#different storylines being connected by themes that carryover. 👌🏻#bothered him so much he outright destroyed Jason’s access to free will #Rosenberg has a way of putting in some of the most satisfyingly well-put lines #that other writers could never have Jason say to Bruce #jason todd #red hood #dc #task force z #tfz #but also such a classic abuser move: everything you say being extremely self-centered #‘me *my* city *my* orders *I* don’t want you doing that’#then when you get called out for being a manipulative shit you say ‘I’m sorry YOU see it that way’ like suddenly it’s you not me huh #Bruce should make a failsafe that could cure his god complex #he needs some humbling

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chalkrub · 4 months

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super fun trade with @charseraph !

#my art #monster art #illustration #looove this design thank you again for letting me tackle em!#this is a slightly different version than I sent you - some things were bothering me! let me know if you want the bigger file <:^)#1st art of 2023. starting off weird and pledging to stay weird. sometimes #currently redecorating my entire room which has been ugly and unchanged since moving in two and a half years ago. so less art yet again #sorry. big things to come though #also scrumpy (cat) is in his attack everything stage but i think he's a feminist because he likes me. so i forgive him #however my mom says he is misogynist because he only cares about me for my tiddies (for sleeping on) and not my personality #anyone want to chime in? i want to like him but i will cancel him if he's evil #i am once again apologising for using the notes function in this way btw. i have a lot of thoughts in my mind #and need to write them down. unfortunately

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sskk-manifesto · 10 months

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Where did he put it

#Sorry for being unsufferable it's just. It's a whole ass book where did he put it 😭😭😭#atsushi nakajima #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd s5 #bsds season 5 #my gifs #Also it kinda bothers me how the tail at some point just grows longer #I'm so sorry for being like this I swear in reality I condone everything animators do

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oshiawaseni · 1 year

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Remember when Kacchan complained about Izuku obviously skulking around with All Might and how they need to be less conspicuous about their connection with each other? When you think about it, no one cared that much what the heck Izuku was up to… except for Kacchan himself. And in hindsight, that interaction is just so freaking cute. Just because this guy is always hyper aware of Izuku and the people surrounding him and absolutely concerned with his business, he thinks others will be too.

Take Season 2 for example at the sport festival… How did he even come to eavesdrop on Todoroki in the first place? By following and being invested in what Izuku was doing with him because Kacchan got so jealous about Todoroki declaring war on his shitnerd 😩 he couldn’t stand the idea of them going off alone somewhere together.

Stop the cap. You were there because you followed Izuku, Katsuki.

Kacchan’s always overly concerned about Izuku and on top of that, he was jealous of Shouto taking his rival nerd from him. So when he got curious seeing them go off somewhere alone, he followed them and eavesdropped.

And another time he eavesdropped on Izuku in Heroes Rising.

He’s so focused on whatever Izuku’s doing or saying, he tunnel visions like hell. Here he forgot about his icey and it melted off the stick.

Not only does he always give Izuku his undivided attention, he definitely wants it returned.

Izuku’s always looked at his back, right? Whether that was walking behind him in the woods, or being seated behind him in class... I think at some point Katsuki came to crave his gaze on him and secretly loved his praise too and that feeling was exposed in the joint training arc with his “Keep your eyes on me, Deku” 😂

Oh Katsuki don’t lie ❤️

You knew he’d be watching you like this with his big and shiny doe eyes didn’t you ;)

Turns out you’re allowed to be obsessed with Kacchan, Izuku. He was just being a hypocritical tsundere whenever he said stuff like this:

Remember when there were a bunch of Kacchan apologists that victim blamed Izuku for sticking around when he was told to leave him alone? What if I told you Katsuki never truly wanted Izuku to leave? Because if he did leave, then who would Kacchan stalk? 😂

Honestly!!! Kacchan’s Izuku complex and how he projected it onto him like Deku is the only one who’s obsessed, is one of my biggest sources of amusement with this ship. Heh. 🤭 They are true equal partners in a lot of ways…

Between all the “Did I do better than Deku?”,

the eavesdropping

and every single time Katsuki targeted him, if you’re able to describe all of this as nothing other than PURE UNADULTERATED OBSESSION...?

DING DING DING. You’re damn right it is!

Then you flip the hate around because it turns out he was wrong to hate that person in the first place after all, and what does Katsuki’s obsession start to look like? Maybe a little something like this.

They’re obsessed with each other and always have been and this is perfectly fine. It used to be very antagonistic attention on Katsuki’s end but his attention has since become all soft and gentle because now..? Now he’s just in love. ❤️ And that’s the tea~ ☕️

#Kacchan calling Deku stalker is literal pot meet kettle #kacchans obsession is so obvious 😩#he's adorable #like in hindsight of everything he ever said lmfaooo #bakudeku #also...#bkdk canon #op #bnha meta #Kacchan loves deku #kacchan was the one interested in izuku deep in his heart from the start lmfao #though izuku never denied himself the self satisfaction of his admiration of kacchan #kacchan slowly coming to terms with being JUST AS OBSESSED with izuku is such a blessing #I excavated this post from deep within the drafts xD #its always bothered me when people downplayed the fact THEY ARE BOTH OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER and that is OKAY #bc it is okay #its okay if its kacchan <3 #thank you guys for supporting Kacchan’s obsession along with me #1k #everyone knows he’s such a huge simp… I love that for him #must read meta

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courfee · 4 months

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yes i used that dean scene as a reference, sue me

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honeypleasejustkillme · 1 year

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i use dissociation more than anything i’ve ever learned in my 10yrs of therapy

#actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #dissociation is my favorite coping mechanism #that and avoidance #i love avoiding my problems until i can’t take it anymore and have a full blown breakdown about it #it’s easier to go through life ignoring everything that’s bothering you until it all just explodes one day #idk maybe that’s just me tho #right after every breakdown i feel like shit tho cuz i usually freak out everyone around me but i don’t know how else to cope #even tho i’ve had 10yrs of therapy nothing else worked for me #so dissociation it is babyyyy

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