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geekkatsblog · 3 years

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Grey's Season 17x8 review

I'm kinda late but I haven't been sleeping lately so I finally managed to catch up with the episode today.

I'm still in shock from last weeks episode honestly but let's go. First I'm expressing my disappointment on the lack of Carina, she's a series regular on Grey's but all her scenes were on Station 19, I wish they would have brought Maya to Grey's just so I could feel good about seeing them cash in their regulars card. Then Deluca was laid to rest, another heart breaker seeing that they had just opened the realms of possibility for him and storylines but they just killed him off instead.

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Teddy

Teddy the biggest storyline at this point besides the funeral. At last we get to see what's really going on. Teddy hasn't been looking herself for a long time and it seems like Deluca's death was the breaking point for her, she was so scarred she didn't even want to wean Meredith off of the vent and when things are affecting your decisions as a doctor and not for the better, it's not a good sign. We'll get to see more of the storyline next week which honestly I'm excited to see. She managed to make me feel for her because despite everything she's done she's still the same old attachment barbie under there. I'm just glad Owen was able to put aside their differences and pick her up bridal side to take her home. The only thing I'm hoping is that it actually happens to be what the trailer was suggesting and not another Denny and Izzie situation because enough of the Grey Sloan doctors have had cancer and I'm definitely hoping that hey end the love triangle between her Owen and Tom or the better scenario in my opinion is let her get some space to breath and deal with healing without the pressures of relationship added to it.

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Meredith

Meredith honey, I'm gonna need you to take several feet away from Mc Dreamy, your kids and the hospital need you and you're getting a little too close to him for comfort. On that note I was once again glad to see Patrick Dempsey bless my screen as Derek Shepherd and it was as always a treat. When he talked about the kids, I'm so glad he knows about Ellis and they got to have several deep chats, so much so that I almost fell into the trap of wanting them to touch. She took a breath on her own which makes it seem as though she's improving but I don't want to get my hopes up and then have them trampled again like in the situation with Deluca waking up after surgery and then Meredith waking up only to end up on a vent in the same day.

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Bailey

I'm so glad that she's taking some time off. She's been running on empty since her mother died and she was beginning to remind me of the time with when she tested herself over and over again for staph with how obsessed she was about Deluca's autopsy, however with the amount of her fellow doctors she's lost its understandable plus Meredith the only one of her residents left is still on life support. If it wasn't for Richard she would have done some serious damage especially to Teddy who already was on edge. She definitely doesn't handle trauma well but besides Richard and Meredith she has experienced the most trauma. She's been through a lot and sometimes I think I tend to forget that.

And at least we got to see that small scene between her and Ben at the end so that was a plus.

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Richard

Is still holding up the walls of the hospital. It must be so hard for him to keep his faith with all he has been through, like I said before him, Meredith and Bailey have been through hell and back so I can definitely understand him feeling a little lost and losing his faith. However he didn't let that affect his keeping the Grey Sloan family together. I'm glad him and Catherine managed to make up because both of his support people are going through things of their own (Meredith and Bailey) so I was glads that she was able to be there for him and he didn't have to consider the thought of alchohol because that would just be too much at this point.

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Amelia and Link

Are doing really well right now as a couple, which scares me because whenever something seems to be going too well for a couple they throw a storm at them and I'm not ready to see their happy bubble burst just yet.

And Amelia has grown a lot her talking to Zola, she just said the right things. Mother hood as really changed her for the better. And does anyone else really want to see the letters that Zola wrote for Derek?

Link however felt the pressures of taking care of 4 kids constantly and I can understand I help out with my niece sometimes and by the end I want to pull my hair out and sleep in a corner for a week, farless 3 kids and a baby, I'm surprised he lasted so long.

Link headed to Jo's house in the middle of whatever agreement Jackson and Jo have going and got drunk. What I really liked about it though was that he went home afterwards and when he did Amelia didn't judge or yell she just talked to him and then hugged him which was amazing. They have a level of communication on the show that most of the other couples lack and it just works so well for them.

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Jo and Jackson

Jackson discovered just how much of a close friendship Link and Jo have and at some point he almost seemed as if he was jealous. Let the complications begin ladies and gentlemen. Plus there is the apparent potential of Dr Haynes turning it into a triangle. I guess one triangle dies to form another 🙄 and let's just say I'm not too excited for it.

Jo allowed herself to get drunk and vent which in my opinion was a step forward atleast. She hasn't really gotten the time to grieve over Alex because suddenly Covid happened and she was swamped with work. I'm just hoping that she does so that she won't accidentally sabotage any upcoming happiness she may have with someone else she needs to heal.

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Maggie and Winston

Poor Winston, he really doesn't know what he's signing up for by joining Grey Sloan does he 😭? Although I noticed last week he seemed to be getting the picture when Link was talking about Meredith and Derek. On the other hand seeing him with the kids was adorable, and he managed to give everyone some time to themselves without the kids which was a very big contribution. He's reminding me of a Ben which in no way is a bad thing. Go on Maggie get it.

Maggie was also devastated and shocked by Deluca as we all were and I'm so sad how their slowly but surely introducing her to the traumas of Grey's. She literally is the only pure one left and now she has to go through all the trials of the hospital until she's dark and twisty. I hope not though she's the only cheerful non broken one left on the show.

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Owen

Is about to have his hands full by next episode. He really is beginning to redeem himself after all Teddy did to him the whole episode he spent trying to make her feel better about Deluca and then picked her up to carry her home which confirmed my theory of it was always going to be Owen for Teddy, it was always Owen and Teddy even when she was married to ....... Henry 😭. I hope this will be the end of the over worked love triangle and they'll finally be able to move on especially Tom who deserves it.

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Haynes

Is utterly smitten with Meredith's children and was begging her to wake up and fight and surprise, surprise she took her first breath on her own. Honestly out of all the potential suitors for her which really isn't much considering one of them has now joined Derek as a permanent member of the beach, Haynes isn't a bad choice, I'm beginning to actually ship them. But then Krista said she was sensing a potential triangle with Jo, Jackson and Haynes and I hope not. I'm tired of the triangular pyramid of Grey Sloan love triangles. Just once I would like a relationship to be straight forward. They killed Deluca and the Teddy one is coming to an end, no need for another.

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Tom

Is still recovering from Covid and he seems to be going to live, a plus in the series so far.

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Levi and Nico

Are slowly getting closer, but I'm not rooting for anyone until Nico apologizes and they have an actual conversation about what happened without their clothes ending on the floor.

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Helm

Also was having a hard time coping and dealing with a bit of guilt about her over ambitious surgery hungry self. She actually reminds me of Cristina in a way, which is why I want Tom to be her teacher I really think their personalities will bounce well off of each other, especially in the episode where she had to check on Tom when he had Covid.

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Questions

• What's going on with Teddy? Owen said in the trailer he sees it in soldiers a lot but Grey's has a knack for reusing plots and her seeing Deluca is giving major Denny Izzie vibes, plus there's the chance that if it really is a brain tumor they'll pin all her recent choices on the tumor.

• Will someone tell Meredith they're are beaches in the real world as well, sure Derek won't be there and it probably wont be as peaceful but all I know is she needs to wake to hell up.

• What's going on between Jo and Jackson will they become more? Will they add Haynes to the mix?

• And most importantly when will Carina finally be seen in the Grey Sloan hospital? I need more Dr Carina.

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crushedbyhyperbole · 4 years

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Promises - Chapter Three

A/N: I cried like a grieving widow when I wrote the previous chapter and this one sees Bucky running further from his feelings. Guess we’ll see how well that works out for him XD

Warnings: Angst and internal anguish, self reflection, and mentions of death in the family.

PROMISES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST | MOBILE MASTERLIST

Belated Prologue Part 2 – Distance & Denial

As far as farewells go, it was horrific. It was all he could do not to break down when Izzy had left him like that, so he just shut himself down and let himself be carried numbly through the process.

The flight was a couple of hours but it felt like mere minutes. Bucky just stared out of the window, looking at the clouds below. He didn’t really think of anything in particular, he’d already locked down his emotions so there was no point in dwelling on things. The plane was full of recruits heading to Fort Leonard Wood, same as him, and he didn’t want anyone’s first impression of him to be a weeping mess.

The first couple of weeks were hard. Not just the physical side, but the being alone, that was harrowing at first. Sure, he wasn’t really alone, he was never really alone but he was lonely. Eleven years of being part of the Marvellous Three, always having them there with him, even if it was just at the end of the phone. He didn’t know what it was exactly but something about this felt final. Like when he got back, things would never be the same.

One night in the second week, Steve called him. After all his training sessions and his evening meal, he’d settled into his bunk and stared up at the ceiling until his phone rang.

“How you settling in?” he asked.

“It’s not bad.” Bucky said, making his Brooklyn accent thicker to make himself feel more at home. “I mean it ain’t The Ritzz.”

They both chuckled. It was good to hear his voice, even though it had only been a couple of weeks since he’d last seen him, Bucky was grateful of the chance to talk to his best friend.

“Is Izzy there with you?” Bucky didn’t know if he hoped she was or hoped she wasn’t.

“Nah.” Steve sighed. “She’s been at home all day with her mom, baking something.”

Bucky’s heart felt heavy. He missed her and would have killed to hear her voice but at the same time he didn’t think he could talk to her and not tear up.

“Baking? She doesn’t bake.”

“I know.” Steve snorted. “I think it’s meant to be a distraction. The local church is having a coffee morning tomorrow. I bet you’re sad you’re missing that.”

“Maybe I am.” He laughed.

“Did you tell her? Before you left, I mean?”

“Tell her what?”

“That you’re in love with her.”

“C’mon Steve.” Why was Steve breaking his balls like that? “I came here to get over that stuff.”

“So, you’re giving her up?”

“Is that what you called me for? To find out if our pact was still in place or to see if the path was clear for you?”

“What if I did? Would you care?”

Bucky sighed. This was so fucked up.

“Nah, man. Knock yourself out.” He pinched the bridge of his nose hard enough to make it throb. “I kinda hoped you’d just called because you’re my best friend and wanted to check up on me.”

“I did. I am.” Steve said. “I just wanted to see where your head was at.”

“Sure, sure.”

“I don’t have feelings for Izzy. You should know that. Not anymore.”

“Then why ask?”

“I was hoping you’d at least be honest about it, just this once.”

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh bitterly.

“You didn’t see her, man.” Steve sounded far away.

“I saw enough.” The memory of her kiss goodbye, her expression of anguish, her tears, the harrowing sob as she fled. Oh, yeah, he saw plenty.

There was silence on the line which stretched a couple of seconds out into what felt like minutes.

“Hey, listen, I should go.” Bucky said. “I don’t know whether I’m supposed to have open contact during training and someone just came in here so I’ll talk to you when I can, ok? Tell Izzy I’m good, or tell her you didn’t talk to me, either way it won’t matter.”

They said their goodbyes and Bucky turned over on his bunk, hugging himself for comfort. He was alone in the room and hated lying to Steve but he couldn’t carry on that conversation, it was too painful. Sure, Izzy would miss him, just like he would miss Steve. But for Bucky, being without Izzy was like having a hole in his chest that would never be filled.

She’d pretty much turned him down when he asked her out. Pact be damned he’d went for it and failed. He was her friend only and he had a lot of work to do to get himself to a point where he could be that friend for her, and not want anything else. The distance between them now would help.

The next eight weeks were numbing. Everything was so much more physical, and also mentally draining. Up at dawn, drills, weapons training, endurance training, not to mention his additional engineer’s training. He fell into his bunk each night exhausted. It became easier and easier to forget.

He spoke to Izzy once and Steve twice in that time. With both of them he just stuck to the facts; what training was like, what the food was like, what the people were like, the things he liked best and the things he hated. Izzy told him about college, she was doing well. She didn’t tell him she was dating a guy from her class, he had to hear that from Steve. It hurt but not as much as it would have weeks ago. He felt like he was growing. Growing up, growing as a person, growing apart from his friends.

After that gruelling eight weeks, Bucky passed basic training and moved onto advanced training. It was tougher and more mentally taxing. He threw everything he had at it.

For Christmas he was able to go home. He had one week leave but after seeing Izzy with Damien, smug bastard Damo, he cut his leave short and went back two days early. His New Year would be spent how he meant to carry on the next year; by himself and working his ass off to rid himself of his unrequited feelings.

Bucky beasted his way through all the training he was required to pass, and became a full fledged combat engineer; a sapper. He skipped his leave frequently and when he couldn’t he wouldn’t go home, he’d go somewhere else instead, anywhere he could that was different. Once a month he gave himself a day where he’d get in contact with everyone, it was usually the first of every month.

His mom, Steve and Izzy always picked up the phone, like they were always waiting for him to call. Even when he was on mission, he’d find a way to call. The routine kept him connected but distant enough that he could just focus on what he needed to do.

“I miss you.” Izzy said to him when he called her on her birthday.

“I know.” Was all he could say back. He had to be distant, for his own benefit. Couldn’t’ let the feelings back in.

“Will you visit when you next get leave? I feel like I haven’t seen you all year.”

It had in fact been one year, three months and nine days, but who was counting.

“I’ll try.” Was all he offered.

And try he did, showing up at his Mom’s place for two days only. It was just enough time to see everyone but not enough time to get comfortable again. He decided he could manage more visits like those.

Missions in the middle east were crappy. He hated it, not because of being shot at all the damn time, or even the shitty facilities. It was the heat. He was always sweaty. Sand and dirt got into all the equipment, into your boots and even into your ass crack. The only good thing was the level of focus required of him. He barely had time to think about meals let alone personal shit.

Bucky wrote his Mom often, knowing full well that she’d probably have Steve and Izzy over to read his letters out loud together. They both still answered the phone, every single time he called.

By the end of his second year in the army, Bucky had himself a reputation as a bit of a badass. There was nothing he couldn’t fix, no situation he couldn’t handle, flawless detonations, only successes on his sheet. They called him The Winter Soldier because he was ice cold, calculating and cool in all situations, no matter the heat or the heat. Grandpa Joe would have been proud of him.

Joseph James Buchannan was his mother’s father, WW2 survivor, and his namesake. The man had been Bucky’s role model all his life; fearless yet compassionate, kind yet firm, funny yet responsible; strong yet gentle. He was all the things Bucky hoped to be. The remembrance tattoo he recently got on his left pectoral was for the man whose love shaped Bucky’s early life. Sadly he had died when Bucky was only twelve but he remembered the man like he’d known him all his life. Lest we forget.

Time is funny in a way. It slips by when you don’t want it to but sticks like grit in the gears when you want nothing but its hasty passage. Turns out that four years wasn’t all that long when you were as busy as Bucky was. He volunteered for every mission he could, learned everything he was allowed to learn. At the end of his service agreement he left the army as Engineer Sergeant James Buchannan Barnes.

Some things about him felt different, were different. But at the same time he was still that same boy from Brooklyn who catapulted stones at bottles in the dirt with his two closest friends.

He would have been lying to himself if he had said he wasn’t nervous to be going home. All the leave he’d given up had dropped his inactive service requirement down to zero; he was free and clear of the army if he wanted to be.

On the plane home for the last time he was restless. Niggling doubts in his head. Would Steve still want to spend time with him? Would Izzy? At least he didn’t have to worry about a job. Before he’d even left Fort Leonard Wood he was offered a job in his Uncle Tony’s bar, Stark’s Penthouse. Sure, he knew his Mom had pestered Tony until he gave in but it was good to have something to start off with. He didn’t even know what he wanted to do. He wasn’t even sure what his qualifications amounted to out there in the real world, not that the army wasn’t the real world but things certainly worked differently.

Walking through the security doors into the arrivals hall at LaGuardia had been nerve racking. He was equal parts nervous and excited. His Mom had insisted on meeting him off the plane and he knew she’d cry when she saw him. What he hadn’t expected was to see both Steve and Izzy there waiting for him.

Bucky had no sooner passed the barrier than he had his arms full of Izzy. She was squeezing him so tight he could barely breathe but when he did was acutely aware of two things. The first was that the last four years spent trying to get over her had been futile. The second was that he would never not love this woman.

Sweet Jesus, she smelled amazing. He breathed deeply, face buried in her hair, her warm breath on his neck sending tingles down his spine. She was laughing with joy right in his ear, drowning out even the hammering of his own pulse.

Soon Steve joined them, huge arms wrapping around them both. Steve had really bulked up, now he was like a fucking superhero. Bucky was bigger and stronger too but it was all functional muscle, Steve looked like he’d been on roids for four years. Bucky couldn’t help but laugh.

Pulling away from his friends, he dashed to his mom who was waiting behind the railing with a huge smile on her face. Bucky picked her up and spun her around.

“I missed you, ma.” He kissed her on the cheek fiercely. “So, what did I miss?”

Turned out he had missed quite a lot.

Steve was now employed by the FBI and, although he couldn’t say too much about the cases he was working on, he was happy. Steve was always the one to do the right thing, moral, virtuous, good. He seemed to get a sense of fulfilment from his job which few people can say they have. Bucky was proud of him.

Izzy had been taken on by a Manhattan law firm on a trial basis where she specialised in white collar crime. She too was happy. The excitement with which she talked about the work she was doing was infectious and Bucky found himself rapt, not just by her passion but by the woman she had become in his absence. Confident and exuberant, at twenty-four, she had grown so much from that nineteen-year-old girl he’d left behind. Now she was radiant and beautiful on a whole other scale, it wasn’t just her ways that had grown, she had developed a knock-out body to go with it. He was already drowning in rekindled love by the end of his first day back and that was before he added lust on top of it. She was single now though, citing being too busy with her career to deal with man-drama, so that was at least something. Bucky was happy she’d ditched Damien; he was an asshole.

Bucky learned from his mom that his biological father had passed away recently; heart attack. He couldn’t’ feel sad about it having never known the man, but it seemed to have struck Dolores deep. His mom had once loved the man who had beat her and left her while she was pregnant with their child. Thankfully she’d stayed away from him and raised her child as a single parent with the help of her father, the amazing man, Bucky’s grandpa Joe.

Dolores had already cried her tears long ago for Bucky’s father but knowing he was gone from this world with no possibility of any further closure, she had lost a little piece of herself. It was true what they said that when you love someone they will always carry a piece of your heart with them. In Bucky’s mom’s case, that piece had gone to the grave with Charles Barnes.

A door closed on part of his life then. Like Dolores, he too had no further chance of closure with the man who had helped give him life. Part of Bucky wished he’d made a point of seeking the man out, going just to show him that he’d succeeded in making something of his life; Engineer Sergeant Barnes had a nice ring to it. But once you’d avoided contact for so many years it became easier to let it slide for the rest. Now it was too late, but Bucky wasn’t cut up about it, it was just a passing thought he had that maybe he wanted to smugly say to the man ‘we didn’t need you anyway’.

Continue to chapter four >>>

#bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fan fic #marvel fanfiction #promises #my writing #fucky barnes #friends to lovers #cloudy's writing

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enkelimagnus · 5 years

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Selfish Chap 9 - Witchlight

Read on AO3

The glow of the witch lights feel comforting. They haven’t done this in so long. They haven’t hunted together in months. Izzy put on her field clothing for the first time in so long. They feel a bit tight. She’s a bit out of shape. Alec looks the same as he always does.

There was supposed to be Jace with them on the hunt, but he ran away from the Jade Wolf and hasn’t come back yet. He doesn’t pick up his phone either. Alec doesn’t seem worried, though, so it must be that he isn’t in trouble. Izzy doesn’t actually know how much the distance between them has changed their parabatai bond the last few months.

Izzy is regretting her tight ponytail. It’s tugging a little too hard on her scalp. She’ll be fine though. Why shouldn’t she be?

The sewers smell the way they have smelled every time for the last decade. Izzy’s heels step onto something that makes a disgusting squishy noise and she doesn’t even look at what it is.

Izzy looks at her brother for a moment. He’s focused on the shadows that the witch lights cast on the walls. He’s expecting them to turn into demons.

There’s supposed to be a small nest of swamp demons around here, from what the field reports of the last week have been saying. Izzy usually keeps an eye on those. She still enjoys going on solo hunts to clear her head. She never tells anyone, even Simon.

"I wonder why Jace left," she says after a moment. "The way he ran away from the party was..."

"Unexpected?" Alec asks. "I don’t know. He’s been having a very hard time, about all of this. He’s been in pain."

"He’s not the only one," Izzy points out. "Simon and I miss her too. But we... we’ve tried to move on. We’re not... wallowing in sadness."

Alec winces. "That’s harsh. He lost the love of his life. I would be in a terrible state too if I lost Magnus."

Would she be that violently grieving if she lost Simon the way Jace had lost Clary? Izzy remembers thinking how Simon was it, how it made sense, how it had to make sense.

She swallows and shakes her head slightly. Of course she would be grieving. He’s basically her best friend, outside of her family.

"I don’t know. I guess I just wish he would let her go."

Alec doesn’t keep going. He focuses on moving forward. The first swamp demon crawls from the floor and wraps a strange cenacle-like appendice around Izzy’s ankle. Alec shoots it down precisely.

"You’ve kept up the training," Izzy notices.

"I’m only interim Inquisitor. And if I don’t fight something, even only in sparring, I feel... stifled."

"I get that."

Alec hums. "How are you finding being Head of Institute?"

Izzy thinks about it for a while. She can’t help but tilt her head, a small wince on her lips.

"I don’t think it’s for me," she says. "It’s nice. But it’s not what I want."

Alec nods. "Yeah. Inquisitor isn’t my dream job either."

The second and third demon come from the walls, and each attacks one of them. Izzy hisses as a drop of venom hits her forehead and buries itself into her flesh. Swamp demons don’t have strong venom. It stings, but it won’t poison her. She swings her blade and chops the head off of the demon that dropped venom on her.

There’s only a few more after that, before they set fire to the nest itself, and decide that waiting for Jace isn’t a good idea. Wherever he’s spending time, he’s probably enjoying himself more than he would here.

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Lydia’s apartment is small. It’s not far from the Institute. Jace is surprised she got a place. They saw each other not long ago, but before that, she was stationed in Alicante.

She puts a cup of coffee in front of him. There’s a still-full biscuit tin open on the coffee table. She sits across from him, in her days off clothing, looking like he disrupted her from a nap. Jace feels a bit guilty about that.

Despite the biscuits and the softness, the apartment feels Shadowhunter-like. There’s a weapons rack bolted to one of the walls, and he guesses there are blades hidden all over. It’s a studio, and he can see her bed from where he’s sitting. He feels like he’s intruding somewhere he shouldn’t be.

After calling her, she gave him her address. He came and he knocked at the door, and he, for some reason, broke down and cried. The tears are dry now, and he can feel the tightness where the wetness tugs on his skin. She’s surprisingly good at comforting people.

"I should be with Izzy and Alec, on a hunt."

Lydia shakes her head. "They can survive without you."

"It was supposed to be some stupid... an easy little hunt in Clary’s memory, or something. It was Izzy’s idea. I... I don’t want to do it."

"Well good. You’re not doing it," Lydia points out.

"I still... they’re going to ask me where I was, and I’m not going to lie, you know? I can’t lie to them."

Lydia looks at him with a raised eyebrow and he realizes how what he said sounds.

He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them, explains why he sounds like a douche. "I haven’t told them about me getting coffee with you. I haven’t told them we’ve been texting back and forth for weeks and you’re kinda the one person that has allowed me to... move." Jace sighs, licks his lips, takes a sip of coffee. "I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want them to believe that their support isn’t enough. So I’m keeping this... thing between us quiet."

"This... thing. Between us," Lydia repeats after him. Her words are slow and whispered and he could have missed them if he wasn’t careful.

"Comfort. Support. Warmth. I don’t know what to call it."

Lydia takes a deep breath and sighs. "I don’t know either."

They fall silent after that. Her hands are wrapped around her coffee cup tightly, and she looks down a little. Jace looks at her, when she can’t see he is. She’s... quiet, when she’s home. He likes it.

#selfishfic #fic #jadia #malec #sizzy

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sadinprada · 5 years

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Clace's Ending

Part I

Clary rested her head on Jace's broad shoulder and closed her eyes, knowing this will all be over later tonight. It was Alec's and Magnus' big day, the two had officiated their marriage under the roof of the institute. The wedding reception had begun and everyone was in attendance to celebrate their special union.

Jace and Clary held each other tightly as they moved slowly in sync to the rich mellow melody of the piano. Clary attempted to block out the Angel's words out of her mind, instead she focused on matching her breathing with Jace's and her steps with his. She didn't want to admit it to herself but the Shadow world was slipping away from her. Clary could no longer remember how she first met Jace, and she knew it wasn't going to stop there. She had no other choice but to bury herself in Jace's arms for as long as she could and savour this moment before she loses the memory of it.

Clary felt an uncomfortable tingling on her wrist, she opened her eyes, landing her gaze on her arm that was placed on Jace's back and watched tearfully as her angelic rune faded from her skin leaving an empty space, as if it were never there. Clary squeezed her eyes shut again, not wanting to believe what was happening. Not only was she losing the love of her life and her family, she was losing herself too. How could the Angel be so cruel? She thought to herself.

Clary invited every memory of Jace play in her mind like a movie; their first kiss right here in the institute; the stolen motorcycle that they rode on together; Jace's training sessions, where she had learnt most of her fighting skills; their first date; when Jace drifted off to sleep in her bed and Clary's pencil found it's way around the paper in her sketchbook, making sure to capture the moment of peacefulness.

"I love you," Jace whispered into Clary's ear.

Clary's throat grew tight and she felt like she was going to explode into a big sobbing mess, "I love you Jace," she managed to whisper back, although her voice was strained.

Jace noticed this and he leaned his head back to view Clary's face properly, he immediately recognised that she was upset.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jace asked her concerned.

"I need you to do something for me," Clary answered reluctantly.

"Anything," he responded.

"Go to your room, there's an important object that I need you to see," a single tear ran down her cheek.

Jace furrowed his eyebrows, "Clary, you're scaring me."

Clary's hands desperately moved to either side of his face, "Please," her voice urgent, "I need you to do it, for me," she gave him pleading eyes.

She couldn't tell him what was happening right now, it was impossible to get the words out and if Jace found out now, he would try to stop her, and even though he would burn the world down till he could dig her out of the ashes, this was the one thing he couldn't fix, he couldn't stop what was about to happen, nobody could.

Jace remained confused about her request but agreed to it, "Alright, let's go."

She stepped back suddenly, "No," she replies, "I'll meet you there, I just want to get some fresh air first."

And then for the very last time Clary moved her hands to the back of his neck and yanked him towards her, meeting his lips. The world melted away as they unknowingly explored each other's mouths for the final time. This kiss wasn't like any other, it was filled with waves of pain and eagerness. Clary made sure to taste every inch of his soft lips and before she knew it, they were pulling away from each other. Clary met his blue and brown eyes - eyes that she had drowned in many times before and eyes she hoped to never forget, and then using all the strength and bravery she held within her, she turned away from him and walked away.

With every footstep Clary felt like she was dragging boulders behind her. She couldn't hold them back anymore, she finally let all of the tears escape, and in a matter of seconds she was crying oceans. Clary held her stomach as she headed for the Institute's doors. Her trembling fingers wrapped around the handle and she looked back one last time, Magnus and Alec were hand in hand, chatting to their guests looking the happiest they had ever been; Izzy and Simon had their bodies close together as they danced, completely lost within each other; Aline and Helen slow dancing, and Luke who was one of the two people she knows from the mundane world, who was sitting with Maryse, clinking glasses of champagne together.

"Goodbye," Clary whispered, to her family, to Jace, to the Institute; the only home she knew and to her only life that she wanted.

Clary allowed the blackness of the night eat her up. As her tears hit the pavement below her, Jace's tears hit the letter that he held in his hand. He read it once, and then again, making sure to read every single word. Punishment from the Angels. Memories gone. The runes she's drawn.

Just when Jace truly thought everything was going to be okay, it wasn't. He could physically feel his heart drop, so he did what he only could do; he ran. Jace raced out of his room and down the hallway, he dodged past people and sprinted outside of the institute's doors, he felt like he couldn't breathe as he searched for her red hair through the darkness and the pale moonlight and then he dropped to his knees. He lost her again.

PART II

Six months later Jace continued to have difficulties falling asleep and staying asleep, because every night he would dream of her, it was both a blessing and a curse. For the past six months he was forced to grieve a woman that was still living. The pain was like no other. His brother and sister would comfort him to the best of their abilities but this heartache was here to stay for as long as he lives. Jace, the once strong warrior fell apart once, sometimes twice a day. He couldn't help it, he had lost something that he'd never have again. When Clary left, she took his heart with her.

To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed. It was true.

Whilst Jace looked for Clary in every room and closed himself off, Clary had quickly forgotten every part of the Shadow world, her skin was now like a blank canvas as her runes vanished and she was living an ordinary life again. She attended art school and still saw Simon and Luke regularly, although Simon was unusually busy with a girlfriend she hoped to meet one day. Clary picked up her life right where she left it before she met the Shadowhunters - in her mind they never even existed.

It was an early spring morning in Brooklyn and Clary had just picked up her latte from Java Jones, she thanked the barista before exiting, as she turned to the right, somebody knocked right into her, nearly causing her to drop her hot coffee.

"Hey can you watch where you're going?" She questions the rude stranger although it's more of a demand than a question.

The stranger, a boy wearing black jeans and a leather jacket with his blonde hair neatly combed back snaps his head around towards her.

"Clary," he says with a dazed expression on his face.

Clary widens her eyes, "How do you know my name?"

The blonde boy eyes change from shock to sadness in an instant, "your name is on the coffee cup."

She glances down feeling flustered, "oh, yeah," and then she reverts her gaze back to the stunning boy in front of her, "do I know you from somewhere? you look familiar."

The boy struggles to find his words, he was is complete disbelief that the woman he loves and will ever love stood an arms length away from him. She wasn't the same Clary that had left that night six months ago of course, her runes were gone, her red hair still glowed fiery red but it had grown longer and she no longer wore leather jackets or her weapons. This was mundane Clary. The Clary he had first met in front of Pandemonium. The start of everything for him.

Jace knew that he shouldn't but he just had to, "until the day I die," he says out loud, absentmindedly.

Clary's face is blank, Jace's chest feels like it's ripping apart, it meant nothing to her. Knowing there's nothing he can do, he forces himself to walk past her. Jace had to remind himself that he is a Shadowhunter and she's now mundane. He was a stranger to her now, every moment they had shared only existed in his mind and it shattered him.

"And if there's a life after that I'll love you then," Clary tells Jace who instantly stops in his tracks.

It has to be a hallucination Jace thought to himself, but no. That was definitely her voice that spoke. Jace spins around. Clary's eyes were filled with tears, and at her feet was her empty coffee that splattered a creamy brown on the concrete.

"You remember?" Jace asks in astonishment and steps towards her, a lump builds in his throat.

"Everything," Clary responds, unlike six months ago the tears that flowed were of happiness.

Jace triggered all of Clary's memories of the Shadow world to come back. She remembered it all. She remembered all the others as well, Alec, Magnus, Izzy, Maia, Maryse, Helen, Raphael, Aline, Max, the Seelie queen and more. It felt like she had never left it all behind.

Clary felt her entire body burn, she glanced down at her arms and chest where her runes were reappearing. How is this possible? She wondered.

Her eyes met with Jace's, and she raised her hands, reaching out to him. He showed no hesitance as he walked closer and took her hands in his. Something he never thought would happen. After everything they had been through, all of the countless times they've almost lost each other forever, they were finally here, together.

Their eyes never leave each other's as both of their runes slowly but surely light up gold, a gold brighter than the sun. A gold that illuminated the store windows around them.

Angels couldn't keep two soulmates apart.

#shadowhunters #clace #shadowhunterstv #clary #clary and jace #claryjace #clary fairchild #jace #jace herondale

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adorealeclightwood · 6 years

Text

Alec: The Aftermath of Jace’s Death.

(Requested by anon.)

Days passed.

Weeks.

A month.

Alec grunted and huffed as he sprinted through the trees, gritting his teeth as the rough branches tore at his clothes, scraping against his skin. His entire body ached, and there was fire in his lungs, but still, he ran.

The air was cooler, here; fresher. He liked to open his window and sit beneath it, letting the gentle breezes and soft ramblings of nature consume him for a few minutes. Everything about this place was different, but he’d grown to appreciate it.

The feeling of dirt and grass beneath his shoes instead of concrete; the sound of crickets chirping throughout the night instead of sirens and trains; the stillness of the countryside instead of the bustle of the city.

He ran until he reached the edge of the woods, and stopped once he was in sight of the house. He heard that familiar sound, and cursed silently.

Panting, followed by the scampering of paws.

A large wolf trotted up beside him, raising his large head to growl at Alec expectantly.

“I’m fine, Luke.” Alec murmured before walking away, tightening his grip on his bow.

As soon as his head was turned, he heard rustling, and saw a soft green light glowing around him as Luke transformed. The next time he heard walking, he knew that Luke was on two legs, rather than four. He jogged to catch up to Alec, wearing nothing but a faded pair of jeans.

“Let me guess,” Alec sighed. “Cleo called?” He kept his eyes forward, refusing to look over at Luke.

“Of course she called,” Luke said, still catching his breath as he kept up with Alec’s long strides. “You scared the hell out of her the other day.”

Alec frowned, but said nothing.

That night at the Institute, when he felt a pain more intense than anything he’d experienced in his life, his entire world changed. He’d looked down to find his rune gone, and knew the worst chapter of his life had only just begun.

Jace’s death had left a gaping hole in the world of the Shadowhunters, but no one was more greatly affected than Alec.

After donning his white suit and fighting to keep from falling to pieces at the funeral, Alec felt like he was suffocating. He couldn’t stand to be at the Institute without seeing Jace in every corner, wearing that cocky grin, giving him hell. He couldn’t look at Clary without seeing Jace at her side, leaning over to kiss her cheek, or gazing at her adoringly. He couldn’t bear to lie in bed at night, rubbing his side absentmindedly, feeling constant, sudden, painful sensations comparable to literal tugs on his heart. He couldn’t bear closing his eyes, and feeling as if he were truly alone for the first time in over a decade.

It wasn’t that Alec had something to run away from; he’d feel Jace’s absence no matter which corner of the earth he decided to hide. He needed place to run to.

A place to deal with his feelings free of scrutiny or judgement in ways the Institute wouldn’t allow.

He couldn’t do that with Izzy’s eyes, wide and sad, following his every move. He couldn’t do that with Clary’s sobs ringing in his ears night after night as she cried herself to sleep in Jace’s bedroom. He couldn’t even do that with Magnus’ loving gaze as he remained slightly aloof, trying to give Alec the space he craved and deserved, yet wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around him and take his pain away.

They meant well - of this, he was sure - but he was sick of people telling him how to act and how to feel after the death of his parabatai. What did any of them really know, anyway?

How could anyone even begin to judge Alec’s behavior after Jace’s death? After he was expected to continue living his life as if a part of his soul hadn’t died? After feeling his heart being crushed into a millions of irreparable pieces? None of them could.

When the funeral was over with, and dozens of Shadowhunters lined up to return to Idris, Luke was the one to lay a hand on Alec’s shoulder, silently letting his presence be felt. Talking with Luke helped in the beginning, but Alec knew that he too couldn’t truly understand. Luke’s parabatai had turned on him.

Alec’s hadn’t.

Valentine was killed after he and Luke were no longer bonded; Valentine had been the one to sever it when he attempted to have the wolves kill Luke, which is why he became a werewolf in the first place.

Jace hadn’t done anything like that. He’d simply died, and left Alec alone.

When Luke asked Alec what he wanted to do, he didn’t have an answer for him. All he could do was sit and stare at the rune on the floor, and remember standing on it as a teenager, locking hands with Jace as they recited the oath that would link them for what they’d hoped would be a lifetime.

Entreat me not to leave thee, Or return from following after thee— For whither thou goest, I will go, And where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried. The Angel do so to me, and more also, If aught but death part thee and me.

Unlike the others, Luke hadn’t pressed him when he saw him sitting on the floor, red eyed and deadly silent. He stood off to one side, and gave Alec all the time he needed.

After a few days of roaming the halls, numb to everything except the pain, Luke approached him once more, and mentioned the farmhouse. He’d gone there after he turned, and although it was rough, he eventually found his way back. That was all Alec needed to hear.

He didn’t pack a bag. He didn’t tell anyone where he was going. He simply grabbed his bow and quiver, and told Luke he was ready.

The first few weeks at the farmhouse were the worst.

Alec was used to cold, unforgiving floors; the constant murmur of activity at the Institute; the soft glow of his desk light as he sat flipping through books. The farmhouse was warm, and bright, and in another lifetime, he may have called it home.

Cleo was a bit confused when Luke showed up with a weary Alec, but had no issues with him being there. She kept to herself most of the time, vowing to “give that beautiful boy some room to grieve”. Alec was unsettled initially, but the second Luke left with promises of returning to check on him later, he let his walls crumble.

He’d lost track of how many times Cleo had crept into his room and laid down beside him, wrapping her arms around him as he cried to the point of exhaustion. He hadn’t known how to react to her motherly embrace the first time; Maryse had raised him to be strong. She was never there to hold him when he fell apart, because he’d never been allowed to fall apart.

If he got knocked down, he’d been trained to get back up. If he was struck, he was instructed to strike back twice as hard. Discipline was what had kept him grounded all these years, not weeping and sniveling like a child.

Thankfully, Cleo never spoke when she held Alec. She saw so much of her brother in him, it moved her. So, when she lied in her own bedroom and heard Alec shuffling around at two in the morning, she knew to get up and find him, and hug him.

True to his word, Luke showed up once every couple of weeks to see how Alec was holding up. He was paler than Luke had ever seen him, and Cleo mentioned it was difficult to get him to eat, or go outside, but she was working with him. Luke never mentioned any of this to Alec when he spoke to him. He only left him with the same parting words before each departure.

You’re gonna make it through this, Alec.

Alec heard him loud and clear, but the words never stuck. The only way out was through - that had been instilled in him since birth - but he didn’t see a way out of this.

Not this time.

A couple of months went by, and Luke found himself having to come to the farmhouse several times a week. Cleo had contacted him, terrified and in a frenzy after waking up to find that Alec wasn’t anywhere in the house. She called out to him over and over, and got no response. It wasn’t until she went outside that she found him.

He’d been up on the roof, sitting with his hands bloodied and raw from firing what Cleo said looked to be about a hundred arrows, scattered across the yard, and dotting the tree trunks just beyond the perimeter of the house. He wasn’t speaking, he was only sitting. Sitting, and trembling, with tears in his eyes.

She asked Luke to stop by more often, feeling his presence had more to offer than hers.

Back at the Institute, Izzy was worried sick. She’d been calling and texting Alec from the time her eyes opened each morning, to the time she laid down to sleep for the night, all to no avail. She was reminded of her struggle with the yin fen, and how she’d ignored him reaching out to her, but pushed those thoughts out of her head before they could take root. Alec wouldn’t do anything like that.

Alec was better than that.

Deep down, she knew he’d call back when he was ready, but until then, all she could do was keep calling, and hoping for the best.

Clary was beside herself with grief. She’d grown to love Alec as the older brother she never had. He could be a real hardass at times, always in the background, keeping people in line, but he was one of the most caring, loyal people she knew. As much as Jace’s death pained her, she knew it had to be a million times worse for Alec. She may have lost the man she loved, but her sorrows would come to pass - she’d fall in love again someday. Alec had lost a part of himself, and he’d never get it back.

Magnus was alone in his loft, staring down at one of Alec’s shirts as he tried to track him unsuccessfully for the hundredth time. He’d been caught in the cycle for months, and refused to give up. It hurt like hell to have Alec up and leave without saying a word to anyone, especially to him, but Magnus kept the faith. Alec was coming back - he had to - but the frustration of not knowing if we was somewhere over water, using a rune to block his location, or if he’d gone off alone to do something drastic was tearing Magnus apart, slowly but surely. Yet and still, he remained vigilant.

He nodded and smiled; answered all the right questions when asked how he was doing; assured everyone that no, he swore he hadn’t heard anything from Alec. More than anything, he wished they’d stop asking, because each time they did, it only reminded him of the painful void in his life that had developed after Alec left.

Magnus folded the shirt and gently laid it on his dresser, running his fingers over the material before going off to bed. Alec was coming back.

He had to.

The months droned on, and an eerie silence had fallen over Institute. With Jace dead, and their leader nowhere to be found, everyone was on edge. When Luke swung by to call a meeting, he was met with confused faces and furrowed brows.

He made his rounds and got everyone who was important to Alec, one by one, and gathered them around the same table Alec held his cabinet meetings to deliver a message from Alec.

“A message from Alec?” Maryse brought a hand to her chest as Izzy leaned into her. “You’ve spoken to him?” It was difficult for Luke to sit there, seeing all their worried faces, and keep the unspoken promise he’d made to Alec.

If he told them where he was, they’d find a way to get to him, and he couldn’t let that happen. Not when he’d made so much progress. Not when he was this close to making it through.

Not when the worst was over.

“He’s coming home soon.” Was all Luke said.

The silence at the table was profound, yet short lived.

Why hasn’t he called?

Why haven’t we been able to track him?

Why didn’t he send a fire message?

“Are you saying you’d believe a burnt scrap of paper over me, right here, in the flesh, telling you what I heard straight from Alec’s mouth?” Luke raised an eyebrow.

Izzy was the first to weep tears of joy. She just sat with her hands clasped in front of her, looking up and smiling as hot tears fell down her cheeks. Maryse turned to throw her arm around Magnus to shed some tears of her own. Their boy was alright, and he was coming home. Clary covered her mouth to muffle a cry, and Simon was there with an arm around his best friend, knowing how badly she’d longed for his return as well.

Luke’s phone vibrated in his pocket, and he checked it discretely.

A message from Alec.

Thank you.

He smiled, and tucked his phone away before promising to let them know if he heard anything else, and saying his goodbyes. Once he was gone, the joy and relief in the room was immeasurable. There were still unanswered questions about Alec’s whereabouts, and why Luke had been the one to know if he was even alive, but those could wait. For now, they had to prepare themselves for what lie ahead.

Their world will never be the same, but it’ll be a lot better when their beloved Shadowhunter is back where he belongs. Right there in New York, surrounded by his loved ones.

Alec was coming home.

#Shadowhunters #Alec Lightwood #Jace Herondale #Jalec #Parabatai #Luke Garroway #Maryse Lightwood #Magnus Bane #Clary Fairchild #Requested #Writing

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adelaides-kanes · 6 years

Text

3x01 Thoughts...

How in the fuck did Alec not realize that Magnus wasn't ok when just last season, the end of, Alec was talking about how he knew that Magnus was pretending to be fine after what happened with Azazel/Valentine? And how come Alec can’t figured out what happened at the lake with Jace? He felt Jace die, the parabatai rune was gone, he gets to the lake with Izzy and Magnus and Jace is alive and the rune is back. It’s not that hard to figure out that he was brought back and that Clary did it. I still don’t understand how he is Head of the Institute. Oh, yeah..Jace stepped down. I think it would have been more interesting to see Alec earn the title from the Clave or someone rather than it be handed in his lap - I say this because it would have been character development / development overall but I digress.

Also, are y’all getting mad at Clary for bringing Jace back when I’m sure some would do the same thing? As if other characters on the show wouldn’t as well. Of course she wasn’t going to bring her mother back (or cure cancer or anything else) - The writers didn’t want it to happen that way and things happened the way they did. How is that selfish for bringing Jace back? Instead you should @the writers for writing Jocelyn’s cheap ass death in the first place and didn’t even allow Clary to grieve properly or show us that she was at all. You’re hate for Clary/Kat is just too damn much.

Another thing, I do not care for Ollie’s story line here. I would like to see more from her character overall, I feel like she’s a prop, like Izzy and it’s sad. I hope we get more Clary/Luke scenes, we’re long overdue!

#shadowhunters #clary fray #alec lightwood #jace lightwood #magnus bane #luke garroway #isabelle lightwood #my text #Don't @me with the bullshit please #Be respectful and I will too =)

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karenhikari · 7 years

Text

Not a Complaint, But a Statement

And... here I am again. I'd said you'd get a chapter for each week I had of vacations, so here we are. This, sadly, is the last chapter of this small special, but I hope at least I gave you a run for your money.

Now, I am once again feeling I'm unfair with one of the characters because, despite the fact that I mention Lily, Maia and Catarina all the time, I've only ever written chapters with Lily and Cat, and what makes it worse—Lily got her chapter and all, but this is Cat's second chapter and... I have nothing planned for Maia... I feel terrible. If you have any ideas, please feel free to tell me so I can make up to her.

With nothing more to say... I hope you enjoy this little something!

The Lightwood-Bane household was crowded more often than not, and admitting that aloud was not a complaint, but a mere statement.

Although, truth to tell, it had been Magnus and Alec on their own accord the ones that had ensured a full house for themselves, with Alec still inviting Maia and Lily over, even when they now had an office at the Institute, all fixed-up for them, and with Magnus not minding when they did so either.

However, that did not mean that everything for the Lightwood-Bane couple had to be about work. Oh, no, far from that, when their apartment became cramped in true, it was when their friends —their family—came over. They didn't need a reason to get to together—the simple fact that they enjoyed spending time with each other was enough.

This was one of those days: Catarina —Cat, for short— was going to spend the afternoon with them. It wasn't a special day or anything, though it was as good a day as any other to share their time with the female warlock.

Catarina, a long-known friend of Magnus had been welcomed into the family along Lily, Maia, Rafael and Max. Their children called all three of the downworlder girls "aunts" and Magnus couldn't think of anything cutter.

They didn't know for sure when or how it had started. Perhaps it was that Max saw Isabelle and Clary in the exact same way in which he saw the downworlder ladies —he had reasons to do so, since they were at the apartment as much as the shadowhunter girls were, and Alexander and him had always treated them as family— and thus he had never understood there was a difference between them.

Rafael, surely enough, was merely imitating his brother, like he did on many other matters. None of the girls had minded, either, which was a bonus.

Not until then, at least.

Perhaps Magnus should have noticed something was off as soon as he opened the door, but he had barely said "Hi, Cat, how was your d–" before the boys —seven and five nor, respectively— pushed him aside, fighting to get their aunt's attention.

"Aunt Cat, aunt Cat, guess what? I finally summoned a butterfly yesterday!"

"Aunt Cat, Dad said I could start training with a real bow next week!"

"Aunt Cat, I—"

"Boys" Magnus cut them off, noticing for the first time the sad glow in his friend's eyes and the tiredness her posture gave away. "Let the woman breathe."

"But we were just—"

"I have an idea" Catarina said, forcing a small smile. Sure enough, she was many things, but she wasn't about to let those children down only because she felt weary. "Why don't you tell me all about it while we eat supper? You can both sit by my side, one at the right and the other one at the left, how does that sound?"

"Yes!" they both shouted in unison.

"And meanwhile you give Catarina and I a minute to say hi properly" Magnus agreed, before they started fighting over who of them got to sit at what side of Cat. Honestly, this parenting thing was hard. "Go help your dad set the table."

"But papa—"

"Stop whining, Catarina and I were already good friends before either of you were fetuses, now go away," he ordered.

Despite their huffs and the way they dragged their feet, soon enough the boys complied.

"Alright, now that the little monsters are gone, tell me what it is" Magnus said, finally closing the door that had been left open at the boys' appearance.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Catarina all but mumbled.

"Catarina, c'mon, you're better than this" Magnus replied, keeping his voice low in case the children returned. He looked at her right in the eye, as if daring her to repeat that there was nothing bothering her now that he saw oh-so clearly the black bags under her eyes. Catarina sighed

"You shouldn't allow them to call me that" she muttered at last, with a smile that was both apologetic and exhausted.

"Call you what?"

"Aunt Cat" she replied softly, cherishing the words as they left her lips. "I'm not… I'm not their aunt."

"What are you talking about? Of course you are," Magnus replied, almost in automatic, finding Catarina's words to be senseless. For five years —for as long as he'd been that boy's papa— Catarina had been their aunt and there had been nothing to discuss.

"No, Magnus, I'm not," she insisted in a frail voice.

Puzzled by his friend's weird acting, Magnus furrowed his brow.

"You know that if you want to be that strict when it comes to blood relations, then I'm not their father either, don't you?" he retorted, trying to keep talking in a kind tone of voice, even when he did not understand why, all of a sudden, Catarina seemed so self-conscious, as she fidgeted with her hands and looked back at the door almost longingly.

"What kind of nonsense is that?" Cat said. "Of course you and Alec are their parents. I mean, you care for them, you watch after—"

"And just like that you deserve to be known as their aunt, you are their aunt. Cat, you love them, they adore you and you've been around long before I even met Alexander, I—"

"Thank you, Magnus, truly. From the bottom of my heart. But that's not true" Catarina insisted, that wistful expression placed upon her features making her seem both older and younger than the twenty years she appeared to have—older because the longing glimmering in her eyes gave away the many things she had seen in her years; younger because, somewhere, somehow, there was hope, hiding and trembling behind her blue irises.

"Catarina, you can't mean what you're saying."

"Magnus, we both know—"

"Stop it" he cut her off, maybe a little harshly. "I don't know where all of this self-depreciation came out, but I don't care and you need to stop it. You have as much a right to be called their aunt as Izzy or Clary do and, deep down, you know that as well as I do. "

"Magnus," she started softly, as if ashamed, as if pleading. "I am not what—"

"You're like my sister," the older warlock blurted out rather unceremoniously, startling Catarina. "You're the only one of my friends who is still here, I mean, the only one who was there when I did what I did in Peru, you're the one I asked help from if my date with Alexander went wrong" he continued, barely thinking his words through before he said them.

"Oh, Magnus…" she let out in a sigh after a silent moment during which her friend's eyes hadn't left hers, not even when her jaw dropped and formed a surprised "o", not even when the sudden outburst of sincerity had tainted Magnus' cheeks with a soft shadow of pink.

"I mean it, Cat, all of it," he continued. "Before… before Alexander and the children came around, you guys were my only family. You asked if I had eaten when I called you and you reminded me of my coat when we went out together. As the time went by, I just… I came to think of you as my older sister."

"You're older than I am," she argued with a watery chuckle.

"Yes, of course, but up until five years ago I didn't act nowhere near someone half of my age," Magnus brushed off. "Besides, I was talking about the way in which you… you took care of me, Cat, damn, you still do."

"You saved my life," she whispered in a small voice. "It was the least I could do to thank you."

"Oh, my dear" Magnus said, imitating her soft voice. "Not letting you die was the least I could do. Those imbeciles. Your life is worth more than a hundred of theirs, I hope you know that. And besides, the fact that I saved your life once doesn't mean that you had to look after me for more than three hundred years."

Denying with her head, a gentle smile in her lips, Catrina replied: "I owe you all of what I have to you—my life, my job, my family. They were wrong, killing innocent people, but I am not special. The only thing that distinguished me is that, thanks to my very peculiar hero, I didn't die."

"You don't own your job to me, Catarina, you fought tooth and nail to get where you are," Magnus muttered, astonished. "You save lives because that's what you were born to do, it's your passion."

"Perhaps it is so, but I wouldn't be of any good to 'save lives' if I were dead myself, would I?" she answered. "A kind soul decided I was worth saving. I am repaying a debt, you could say, by doing the same thing—saving lives."

Opening her arms for her, Magnus waited until she felt ready and stepped forward, drawing her blue arms around his neck and resting her head on his right shoulder.

"Cat, what happened?" he asked gently against her platinum locks.

"It was a bad day at the hospital," she answered, knowing that was only half of the truth. A hard day? It had been a hectic week, and exhausting month and an actrocious year. Teenagers kept coming in pregnant, children arrived injured after school fights, heavily abused women refused to answer anything other than 'I fell in the shower' when asked about arms that were not broken but crushed, as many times as the bone had cracked. But that wasn't new—her gloomy state found its reason to be in something else, she knew. "And tomorrow is the anniversary of my mother's death" she admitted, at last.

There was it, the truth—she was still grieving, after so many years, after more than three centuries. She was tired of being alone, of arriving to a tiny apartment that seemed too empty and too big for only her to ocupy. She was tired of working almost non-stop only to remember that the next morning she'd have just as mouch pendant work to do. She was exhaunted of it, yet she wouldn't change her life, she knew.

She wasn't ballyaching—she'd made her choices and now faced its consequences. It wasn't a complaint, but a mere statement.

"Let me guess," Magnus cut off her musings. "You don't think you deserve us."

And there it was. Bingo. A shot stright to the root of her sudden awkwardness when she was with the family, to her nervousness when the children shrieked excitedly at her arrival.

"When did you get so good at reading minds?" she muttered half-heartedly as she pulled away from him.

"When I had to guess what a two-year-old wanted" Magnus deadpaned.

"It's just that… you give me so much that sometimes I think —I know— that I will never be able to repay all of you for the kindness you've showed me."

"Let me see, you agree to baby-sit the boyse with two-hours notice even though you're busy as hell and they're a handful on good days, yet you say you don't repay us?" Magnus asked. "Such nonsense, Catarina, I thought you were cleverer. Besides, you don't owe us anything—we're family. And it's too late to back off now—a good part of what I know about family was taught to me by you."

"So, as long I baby-sit the boys I can come over?" she asked with a teasing smile that, apart from being more genuine than any of the ones she'd offered that day, was also so tender and grateful that it made Magnus want to take her into his arms once again. "I don't have much time left, then—soon they'll be able to watch after themselves."

"Nonsense, they'll need someone to stop them from doing stupid things until they're twenty."

"Overprotective dad here" Catarina laughed lightly, whole-heartedly.

"Let me be!" he retorted, as Alec's voice was carried away from the kitchen to the entrance.

"Magnus, why is Catarina still at the door?" he questioned and then, with new orders from Alexander, the kids came back.

"Papa, dad said you should take aunt Cat to the table."

"Yes, like a gentleman," Max seconded.

"Magnus, a gentleman?" Catarina giggled. "Why don't you scort me to the table, then? I think it's a better idea" she proposed, offering one of her arms to each boy, causing more childish laughs.

"There, the treason of my closest, dearest friend!" Magnus said, dramatically taking his left arm to his forehead.

"Stop overreacting!" Alec scolded from the kitched.

"Come here and give me a proper hug," Cat told the boys, getting on her knees so that she was only slightly taller than Rafe.

Silently, Magnus watched her exhale a relieved sigh when the small arms of the boys circled her neck; silently, he smiled as she seemed to draw strength from the improvised embrace.

When she straightened herself again, picking Max up to suport him with her left hip —not seeming to mind the fact that he was getting much too big to be carried around like that—, Rafael's hand in hers, the smile across her lips was sincere, almost too big for her heart-shapped face. The bags under her eyes were still there, but now she looked joyful, content.

"Boys, leave your aunt room to breathe!"

"None of that, Bane!" she said back. "You said I could keep them, so deal with me."

Magnus couldn't help it, he smiled, as he followed the female warlock and his children into the kitched.

Oh, what a thing it was to have a crowded house and a numerous family.

Okay, I want to start by saying that I love Cat to bits, alright? I don't even know why, but I'm very fond of her, and making her sad hurt me too, but... just... oh, my, the children, and Magnus comforting her was too much and I couldn't handle it. I meant, c'mon, she has a family despite the fact that she never married the man she loved (and that loved her, too) because she was too focused on her job; she's not alone despite the fact that her mother and all of her other friends are gone.

This chapter, too, wouldn't have been able toget here if not for the wonderful JelloDVDs and her touching story "Saving Catarina". Yes, I know I have already mentioned them, but I had forgotten how Cat and Magnus met and I probably wouldn't have remembered if not for that story, so here goes nothing.

Please keep in mind what I asked about Maia and if you have any idea please let me know!

Also, as I mentioned earlier, this is the last chapter I wrote during my vacations. I don't know for real when the next update will be. I'll do my best, but I can't promise anything. Expect (but don't get your hopes too high, either, I feel terrible thinking I'll dissapoint you) chapter 16 for the last days of February.

I love you all and I'm looking forward to your comments!

#TMI #Born to Endless Night #Malec #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood #Max Lightwood-Bane #Rafael Lightwood-Bane #Catarina Loss #Fanfiction #Love #Family

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