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okay-computer · 2 years

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I have a couple of questions because I know fuck all about computers!

I have a gaming laptop atm (hp power pavillion) that I use for school and games. I've had it for about 4 years at this point, and I've been told that that's about the average functional lifespan for a laptop. I'd like to figure out what to get next before I HAVE to get something new so I can make a good instead of quick decision.

I think I want a desktop pc next, because I believe that swapping out parts on one of those as necessary is probably cheaper in the long run than getting a new laptop every X years, and I'll have a computer that's up to date the entire time.

If that is actually the best way to go, I'm stuck on what to get specifically. I have a very basic understanding of what different components do, but I don't really know the difference between different levels of something. Like a graphics card is what generates the images you see on your monitor, but what difference do you see in a rtx 40 or 30? And is that difference worth the difference in price? And the same goes for every other component of the pc too. Everything has so many different variables I'm getting kind of overwhelmed by all of it.

I'd probably mainly use the new computer for gaming and I'm not all that concerned with rendering every single pore on a character's skin so to speak, but I'd like to be able to put the graphics on fancy instead of fast for once.

And finally, how can you start to learn about all of this? It feels like half the information I get when looking up how to build a pc is just trying to sell me something and not very objective.

So generally speaking laptops have an expected lifespan of 3-5 years (that's flexible, depending on use - I tend to get about 7 out of mine for day-to-day use and then an extra 5 years of light duty).

However, desktops are only a little better! 5 years is about the expected lifespan of a business desktop before it's more efficient to replace it than to repair it in a business context (home users often get more life out of desktops than enterprise users do).

The hard limit for upgrades for almost all computers, laptop or desktop, is the processor. Even if you technically *CAN* replace your processor on some systems it typically isn't worth it, and so as your computer ages the processor becomes the bottleneck for speed.

If you game heavily and are planning on doing so for a long time, I'd say to look at getting a custom build and to dump as much cash as you can afford into getting the best processor and graphics card you can.

If you're gaming, processor speed matters more than core count. I do not, unfortunately, have any advice that I can give you about graphics cards, except to say that they're often less about visual clarity and more about rendering things quickly.

NZXT is a gaming computer group I've worked with before and I've been very satisfied with everything I've ordered for them for customers.

Both of the creators I'm about to list DO often post sponsored content that is trying to sell stuff, but they also have MASSIVE backlogs of videos that you can watch to get a feel for how to put together a PC, what parts do what, and what parts matter.

Linus Tech Tips has a lot of how-tos but also has the team competing to build computers or diagnose problems, and watching a team of people trouble-shooting is genuinely one of the best ways to learn how to work on computers because trouble-shooting is a necessary skill for that kind of work. Here's a video of theirs on building a PC, and for a fun twist (with some shaky cam) here's a POV video on how to build a PC.

Paul's Hardware is also a great source for hardware info. Here's his playlist of PC Builds.

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thevalleyisjolly · 3 years

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Star Trek Beyond ramblings under the cut, because I love this movie so much:

I was just watching Star Trek Beyond again, and it’s really just such a good ensemble movie. It wasn’t a Kirk-is-the-hero movie or a Kirk-and-Spock movie, it was an Enterprise movie. Everyone in the crew had roles, not just isolated moments of badassery or humour, but actual places in the narrative that showed off their character and development. I mean, we see:

Bones being a doctor, what that actually looks like apart from waving a scanner around and jabbing people with needles. How he interacts with his patient, the brusque bedside manner that nevertheless goes hand-in-hand with his genuine concern, improvising treatments when he doesn’t have the advanced tools he normally does. Damn it, the man is a doctor, and he’s a good one, and we get to see that!

Sulu and Uhura taking initiative, being leaders! Uhura putting herself at risk again and again to do what’s best for the crew, Sulu taking a leadership role with the surviving crew members and trying to keep them safe. TOS Sulu eventually becomes a captain, and you can really see the echoes of those leadership skills emerging here. And Uhura, separating the saucer to give the escape pods a chance, breaking out of the cell to send a distress signal, asserting what’s right and standing up to Krall. In many ways, she gets the hero(ine) role that in the past, has been given to Kirk or Spock.

Spock’s more introspective side. He spends a lot of the movie considering his place in the universe, his responsibilities, the legacy of Ambassador Spock, mortality. He doesn’t Vulcan-logic up a genius plan in the nick of time to save the day, it’s a softer, more measured Spock we see here, and it’s fantastic.

Scotty being a mentor and a father-figure, reaching out to Jaylah and being a figure of kindness and encouragement and concern. He saves the day in a different kind of way than whipping up an engineering miracle or three - he saves the day by reaching out to someone who was lonely and being a person who cares.

Chekov alone had less to do in the movie, but we still see him taking on leadership during the attack, making sure everyone on the bridge got in an escape pod safely, being the second last to abandon ship, only after everyone else had already gone. It’s a far cry from the childish, almost comedic role he’s had so far.

Jim being a captain, not a hero. When Commodore Paris congratulated him on saving Yorktown and he said that it wasn’t him, that really rang true. Kirk spends pretty much the entire movie affirming and reaffirming that his crew is capable, that they achieve things together, and it’s something the movie’s structure reinforces as well. More on that later.

And yes, the ensemble structure means that individual characters don’t get a ton of time focused on their own arcs, but you don’t necessarily need a lot of time in an ensemble movie, you just need to make effective use of what time you do have. Which I won’t claim every character had amazing character moments, but there was pretty solid and consistent characterization throughout, and the characters who did have time to shine shone brilliantly.

The whole theme of this movie is, as Uhura asserted to Krall/Eddison, “strength in unity.” It’s very much not an action/super hero type movie, where a single extraordinary individual saves the day. It’s the crew of the Enterprise, working together to their respective strengths, that succeeds.

Conversely, Krall/Eddison is strong so long as he still has his crew with them, but once he loses them, he loses his power. While he still has Kalara and Manas, his plans proceed well - Kalara ensnares the Enterprise, Manas helps him get away to Yorktown. Without them, he has no support. The contrast of that final confrontation with Kirk, Kirk with the entire crew of the Enterprise talking to him, giving him instructions, providing back up, and Eddison, standing alone, dying alone and in silence amidst the emptiness of space.

I mean, that scene when the U.S.S. Franklin is facing the swarm, if you watch, it’s literally the entire crew coming up with the solution together. One person has a realization, another follows that up with a suggestion, another builds on that, so on and so forth. It’s all of them, talking together, that solve the problem. No one person has all the pieces to the puzzle or some sudden mastermind plan, it’s everyone contributing what they have.

And I think that leads me into another thing that’s so great about this movie, is that it recognizes the competence and the ability of these characters. When faced with danger, everyone knows their duties, everyone performs their duties with competence and skill, they’re not just cogs in a machine, but well-oiled cogs. The movie respects these characters, respects their capabilities and their foibles and their development.

Which goes into this movie and legacy, and honouring what came before while growing into something new. We see the impacts of previous events on these characters, we see that they mattered. Someone else has already pointed out how the escape pods are called Kelvin pods - the destruction of the Kelvin in the first movie mattered, not just to Kirk, it mattered to Starfleet and they made damn sure that their crews should always have a chance to live. The destruction of Vulcan and Spock wondering about his potential duties to his people - of course that’s going to be something that lingers! The horrors of genocide aren’t just the immediate loss of loved ones, of a planet, it’s something that continues to have an effect on survivors’ lives and futures.

(There are the good legacies too, the bittersweet legacies. Ambassador Spock’s belongings, that picture of TOS cast, ugh)

((Also, the core of Eddison being that he can’t move forwards from the past, from the legacy he was a part of, that he helped build. Wanting things to stay the same - and the irony is that in trying to keep the universe at war, he changes himself so drastically from what he was. And to have his legacy, his crew’s legacy, be changed by his actions. As Commodore Paris said, “For generations, we taught that they were heroes.” Now they’re a tragedy))

It’s interesting because both Spock and Kirk have storylines around questioning their place in the universe, of living with legacies and living their lives now. And we have Kirk and Bones having that conversation at the start, Bones very keenly pointing out that Kirk has been living for his father for so long but not for himself, and then the movie switches gears and works out these feelings with Spock.

(Love how both of them end up having these conversations with Bones, give the man a gold star friend award)

And we don’t really see Kirk working through this, except we do. Kirk doesn’t talk about it outside of his captain’s log or with Bones, but we have Spock’s conversation. We see the static-y legacy of the Franklin, we see Eddison’s despair and rage in his captain’s log, we see the crew of the Enterprise rising up to the task, confronting the past and saving the present. We see Jaylah face the trauma of her memories and find trust and belonging in others, we see old meeting new, loneliness and despair but also love and hope.

We see everything except Kirk’s own internal struggle (save for Chris Pine’s frankly stellar facial acting), but maybe we don’t need to. Because everything Kirk wrestles with is everything we come to realize through the movie, and as much as we are watching what’s going on, so is he.

(See? It is a Kirk movie in a way, in that his internal conflict inspires the overall themes in the movie. But Kirk is also the audience, watching the tragedy of Eddison and the Franklin, seeing the crew, his crew, work together.)

Also, loved the unconventional character groupings. We have Sulu and Uhura as a team, Kirk and Chekov, Scotty and Jaylah, and the absolute genius of Bones and Spock. I wish all Star Trek Beyond scriptwriters a very pleasant evening for giving us the absolute gift of Bones and Spock together. We have been so blessed.

#the valley is posting #star trek beyond #these ramblings are by no means coherent but this movie just makes my media analysis heart leap for joy #it's also just a really enjoyable star trek movie because it feels like it was made with love #it's not meant to be a franchise or box office superstar; it's a love letter and an homage to the series that people love #and it's not to say that it was perfect! there's definitely stuff they slipped up on or could have done better #but thematically and character-wise - oh; it was so good #this post inspired by a wonderfully kind comment from its-all-ineffable #i started a post like this months ago but i couldn't remember the details until i rewatched it tonight

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cottoncandyjester · 3 years

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PLEASE tell me you have more non yandere characters I need more of them! add to the poly! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

I actually do! I wasn’t gonna show them off quite yet but I suppose I can show them off now

Decided to add taro and altor just to have them all together

Raven,28

Works as a paramedic in the same hospital theo does residency training in

The two..don’t get along at all

Usually theo says something sexist and raven retaliates by kicking him…harshly

5’5(short king)

Wears contacts to seem more goth and cool

Is like a stray cat never know what you’re gonna get

If someone insults his height he’s absolutely kicking them in the kneecaps

Wears steal toed boots for a reason

He tries to seem like a bad boy but he’s the BIGGEST NERD

Is obsessed with LARPs and D&D

Like after work the first thing he does is get comfy and hop on an online campaign with his friends

Is constantly forcing the others to LARP with him

When he isn’t nerding out or working he’s going to bars for a drink or two

He isn’t a fan of loud clubs he prefers lounge clubs and bars

Is always butting heads with taro over whose better paramedics or law enforcement

Is constantly told not to put stickers all over the ambulance truck..does it anyways

Will absolutely laugh at a patient if they have a dumb reason for going to the hospital

Has the most broken humor

Once bursted out laughing at a video of bread falling over

Is deathly scared of bugs

I’m talking jump into someone’s arms or climb the tallest object afraid

Blood and gore is totally fine with him but one insect and he’s screaming his lungs off

Altor,30

As the oldest in the group he takes a leadership type role

He makes sure his partners aren’t stressing themselves since they all have a tendency to do that.

He is a total hypocrite since he stresses himself on the daily

Due to budget cuts and lots of shady things involving both his place of business and the town itself he has the duties of psychiatrist along with other medical professions despite having only went to college to be a therapist

This is a huge reason for his drinking

The hospital he works at has him act as a Diagnostician last minute when they don’t have anyone else to do it just so they can save money.

This is the same hospital raven works at though altor doesn’t tell him the stress the place puts him under since raven loves his job dearly

He is highly intelligent and is an over thinker which is another reason for the drinking

He can drink whiskey like it’s water

He usually has to take a shot before he works or else he will blow a fuse and breakdown

He pretends to be lazier than he really is

He works incredibly hard since he knows one slip up can kill someone and the thought scares him

He tries to be the voice of reason

Despite this he is a violent force of nature when he wants to be

Has aloootttttttt of pent up rage

Due to this he spends a good amount of time finding something to express that rage out on

It’s sex of course it’s sex

To let out steam he often hosts and attends bdsm parties with his partner

Is a pretty cruel dom

Loves to see his playthings whimpering and crying

That being said he has been known to be submissive from time to time though he doesn’t go down easy

Him and Sage often have battles of dominance in the bedroom that lowkey scare the others

Jackson, 22

Works at a retro diner

Wears skates and all while he’s working

Is literally the happiest person ever

Can never stop smiling and cracking jokes

It’s a little unnerving at times cause he seems so animated and just all over the place

Customers adore him though cause he’s just so sweet

Is always teased cause of his style

Wears the tackiest shirts he can find at the thrift store

Is obsessed with vintage and retro aesthetic

Goes thrifting as much as he can

Is always dying his hair some bright color

Altor and raven are constantly teasing him about his glasses chain

Without it he would lose his glasses every five seconds though

Is an affectionate monster

Is so damn clingy

Like he will absolutely be a drama king if he doesn’t get a kiss every five minutes

“Babyyyyy~ I-if you don’t kiss me I’ll die! I swear I’ll just curl up and die!”

That being said when he is pissed..he’s really scary

Forgets to take his adhd medicine constantly thus he’s a little chaotic

Has a hyper fixation on jellyfish

I’m talking he will go to an aquarium and just watch them for hours in utter awe and amazement

Has far too many jellyfish plushies and other items

Bad jokes make him laugh so hard

Has insecurities that he doesn’t talk about

But he just forces it down and smiles it off

Altor is working on that with him but it’s looking a little hard

Has bad asthma

Is the type to care about others before himself to the point where he stresses himself into asthma attacks a lot

He has to keep his inhaler on him at all times

It freaks the others out when they hear him start to cough or wheeze

Is definitely one of the only ones who can cook

Sage, 24

Pure chaos just All the chaos

Is a mechanic and uses that skills for chaos

Is petty enough to hide car tires if an argument ever occurred

Like where you gonna go without your tires baby?

Absolute tomboy

Hisses at the udder idea of a skirt

Strong as hell!

Like she is short but powerful

Loves cars so much

Loves going to car shows and just squealing about the cars

Instead of bringing home puppies she brings home junk cars to fix

Taro is always scolding her on bringing home cars that they don’t need

Her urge to fix it and sell it to someone is so strong though she can’t help it

Absolutely will work herself to death

Has been known to sleep in the garage cause she worked so hard

She doesn’t have a shop yet but god does she want one so bad

Another adhd fueled mess

Has the attention span of a toddler

Tends to go on passionate rants about cars

As stated before she is petty if you piss her off a you might wake up to no steering wheel in your car and a very pouty girlfriend

That being said she absolutely loves pranks and will do that type of stuff as a prank as well

Is a usually happy person but when she is sad it shows

Will hide away in a small space til she feels better

That being said she doesn’t like showing her sadness so she tends to hide it

Is the one to wanna fight if someone messes with the poly

Like they’ll have to hold her back cause she is just so feisty

Is a total cuddle bug

Would want her darling or one of the others so sit in the garage with her while she works

Highest sex drive

That being said she doesn’t really talk about it since she knows how busy everyone can get but there are times where the garage is locked and loud music is playing 👀

She is a switch in the bed for sure

Has brutally pegged every poly member more than once

Taro,27

Ace detective

Super smart

Also very touch starved

Man hasn’t slept in ages

Survived off of monster and cigarettes

He is usually the most reserved

Affection makes him melt

Has spent all his life studying and working to become a detective to solve his sister’s mysterious death

She died in a housefire but taro doesn’t believe it

He is very white and black the moment a person commits a crime they are bad in his eyes

He forgets to self care often

Altor scolds him a lot cause of this

Very much neurodivergent

Is the type to tell a joke then Explain the joke no matter if the person gets it or not

Talks during movies type dude

Especially during movies involving crime

He is the WORST at watching horror movies

“How have they not been caught already? The police in this movie are clearly amateurs if it were me I would…” like no one cares🙄

Asexual as all hell

That being said he will have sex with his partners but it usually is because they have a desire to have him join in.

The few times he actually makes a movie first it always either ends in cuddlefucking or cockwarming

Has cockwarmed or been cockwarmed by one his partners while reading case files

#non yandere ocs #introduction post #ocs #aren’t they cute

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na-nanu · 3 years

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2x9 The Metamorphosis may be my least favorite TOS episode so far? Kirk and company have to transport a sick woman to the Enterprise for treatment; she’s a very important diplomat working to stop a war. She needs to be treated quickly so she can continue her work, and is deeply frustrated that she’s being kept from it through her rare and lethal sickness (which is very girlboss of her. She’s complaining about getting life saving treatment because it’s keeping her from her job. That’s almost Kafka-esque from a certain perspective)

But Kirk, Spock and Bones (who are transporting her to the Enterprise—why they had to do it, I don’t know) are weirdly blasé about her work? They’re like winking and nudging each other every time she implies that her diplomatic work matters.

The episode plot happens and by the end, the diplomat is tethered to a planet through an alien creature now sharing her consciousness. She cannot leave. She is also now together with a man. The episode implies that her life was meaningless without love; now she has it. Happy ending.

Kirk and party leave them on the planet. I think it’s McCoy that brings up the war and Kirk’s response is “you don’t think they can just replace her?” which frankly seems out of character for him. Kirk’s sense of duty is strong, winning out over most personal concerns most of the time. Why would he be okay with a member of star fleet choosing love over something that important? Why would he act so flippantly about the war in the first place? We know Kirk believes that killing should be avoided wherever possible. It’s so odd that he treats her as replaceable. Surely a diplomat whose prescience or lack thereof could change the course of a war has some unique level of skill?

It’s simply sexist. In an earlier episode, the men on the bridge observe about a female officer that she will likely eventually marry and leave the service (on no other evidence than that she is beautiful and a woman). This idea is shown more fully here. She is a woman so her (off screen) work is necessarily less important. We find out, as she is on the point of dying, that she secretly always knew that without love, her life meant nothing. At the end, she has eyes only for her love interest, and thinks nothing of her work.

Her character arc is very Taming of the Shrew. She starts of sharp and rude and ends sweet and lovingly attached to a man. (The episode doesn’t have many parallels outside of that, but she is definitely shrewish at the start)

The episode is boring, emotionally untrue, and illogical. If they had at least made her job something less important it might have been less frustrating to attempt to go along with.

#paperl’s #tos #2x9 #the metamorphosis #Star Trek #star trek the original series #tos episode review #in depth analysis #trek analysis

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1dsource · 4 years

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Author Spotlight: louloubaby92

Don’t forget to show the author to leave kudos and comments to show the author love!

Bed of Nails

Words: 210k

Louis has been keeping a secret for a very long time. The boys don’t know because he doesn’t tell them, not because he doesn’t want to but because he doesn’t think they need to know or be bothered by his troubled past. When they find out, they look at Louis differently. But Harry doesn’t. No, he loves Louis and will do anything in his power for his love to find its way through the cracks.

Or the one where Louis has a troubled past that catches up to him and Harry does his best to save him from it.

Hang there like fruit, my soul/Till the tree die

Words: 111k

''You still want me?'' he asks, voice thick.

''Yes,'' Harry's answer is absolute, almost defiant.

''But my hands are empty,'' Louis shakes his head. ''I've got nothing to offer you.''

''I don't care about that. Do you see my hands?'' Harry asks before he cups Louis' face. His touch is gentle. He's always gentle when it comes to Louis. ''When I'm not holding you, I feel empty, but like this,'' he presses closer until their faces are inches apart. He caresses the apple of Louis' cheeks and that's when Louis realizes that he's spilled tears and Harry's wiping them. He didn't even notice; too busy looking into Harry's kind, kind, kind alpha eyes. ''I feel like I'm holding the world and I don't feel empty anymore,'

'Louis knows he's a defective omega. He knows its also not his fault but it is what it is. He takes the world head on even when the world is unkind to him. Not Harry though; stubborn as he is, he doesn't back down, not when it comes to Louis.

As the snow flies

Words: 108k

’'I can’t sleep without you anymore. Got used to you.’’

Harry is always like that, so transparent with his feelings, so abundant with his love. He cuddles Niall the most, always stares up at Zayn like he’s something cool and out of this world, always attentively serious with Liam and always helping Leona out in the kitchen. He’s not so different from the shy, timid boy he’d first met, still stands pigeon toed when he’s waiting for Louis and the lads to go home after school, still stands with his shoulders all hunched but then he sees Louis and suddenly he’s taller, brighter, smile and dimples on full display.

He’s so beautiful.

Or the fic in which Louis and Harry are foster kids who get separated long before they could even understand what loving each other means. They were so young and since then, circumstances had made Louis tough, had forced him to harden up. What happens when he and Harry meet again?

You Are Golden

Words: 177k

Harry Styles doesn't see Louis Tomlinson as golden boy even though he is captain of the football team, loved and respected by all and has an amazing singing voice. He would be right but not in a million years did he expect the layers of complexities in Louis' life and the way the others are so fiercely protective of him until he becomes just as protective even more.

An AU story set in high school with Louis as a football player, Harry working in a bakery at weekends, Zayn as a waiter in a pub, Liam the x-bad boy and Niall their favourite Irishman and they all sing (Parents are involved but not all in their original names coz I dont wanna drag their real names in the mud)

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe

Words: 4.7k

Louis' job may require him to play a different character than who he really is, but to Harry, he will always be one person and one person only and that is Harry's Louis and no one else.

Or the one where Louis is an actor who plays a sex scene on the day that Harry surprise-visits him on set. Cue jealousy in it's fluffiest (and filthiest -wink wink) form!!!

Oblivious

Words: 11k

He plays footie and Harry plays basketball. Harry is studying to be an accountant whereas he is studying to be a teacher, hopefully of mathematics. Harry is the vice president of the alpha frat, with duties to uphold, not to mention he has a part time job at a convenience store and Louis is working two jobs; one as a tutor during the weekdays and the other in a burger shop, working as a cashier during the weekend. They both need the money and while Louis is on a full footie scholarship, he also cannot afford to let his grades slip up or else he won’t get to play. They’re just a disaster waiting to happen. It won’t work.

Or the one where Louis and Harry don't know they like each other...or do they?

Where you used to be, there is a whole in the world

Words: 22k

Harry needs to get to Louis, no matter what it takes. He will leave LAX and get to Heathrow, even if he has to fight every zombie in between.

Louis can't keep hiding from the walking dead. He needs to get to Heathrow and from there, catch his flight to Lax if he has any intention of seeing Harry again.

It’s been two years and they...they're still trying.

Oh darling my heart’s on fire, for you

Words: 6.9k

Liam introduces Louis to the rest of them and even though he’d looked sleepy when he’d first come in, he smiles now when Liam cuddles him to his side, eyes going all crinkly.

‘’He’s a bit tired; double majoring this one,’’ Liam explains when Louis yawns into his shoulder. Fuck, Harry’s eyes zone into Louis’ hand, which he uses to cover his mouth. Louis is small, almost dwarfed by Liam and its…well, it’s interesting, Harry thinks.

‘’Are you two boyfriends?’’ Harry blurts out.

Where did that come from?

There’s a moment of awkward silence, a definite surprise at the question and Harry starts to squirm.

‘’I mean, you look really cute together and it’s nice and…’’ Harry stammers but then Liam just laughs.

‘’Nah, man. I’m taken. Lou however has no time to date at all,’’ Liam says.

Oh, Harry can’t help but think.

Or the one where Harry works in a bakery and Louis quotes Classic Literature. It may seem like they don't fit but maybe, just maybe, they do.

Breathe deep, breath clear, know that I’m here

Words: 45k

Louis makes his dreams come true with One Direction and it is everything he never knew he wanted, but it’s massive and overwhelming and sometimes he can't take it, not alone at least. Harry is right there with him, filling up the hole in his heart in more ways than one and together, they soldier on, holding on tight to their dreams and tighter to each other. Nothing stops them...

what if time doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do? (What if I never get over you?)

Words: 26k

They've always been scorching, always burning too hot for comfort. But through their ups and downs, they always find a way back to each other.

Always.

Harry hopes that this time is no different, that this time, it's for good.

Or the one where Louis goes through a major accident and Harry blames himself for everything.

The Importance of being Earnest

Words: 16k

Harry cannot help but pay extra attention to Louis' order, even if it is just a warm cup of tea with a dash of milk and no sugar. He also makes sure that the Danish Louis asks for is warm and fresh from the oven and not the one in the display, even it means delaying Louis a bit when he fetches said Danish from the kitchen. It's all worth it when Louis smiles his crinkly smile at him before he rushes off to work.

Man, he's hot, he cannot help but think.

Or Harry is a barista who's been harboring a crush on Louis for months. Little does he know that Louis actually likes him back.

Nothing Can Come Between You and I

Words: 22k

Harry needs to get to Louis, no matter what it takes. He will leave LAX and get to Heathrow, even if he has to fight every zombie in between.

Louis can't keep hiding from the walking dead. He needs to get to Heathrow and from there, catch his flight to Lax if he has any intention of seeing Harry again.

It’s been two years and they...they're still trying.

#faaw #author spotlight #louloubaby92 #fic rec #hljournal #hlcreators #larry fanfiction

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ickeyandmian · 3 years

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oops here are some thoughts on 11x08 regarding Frank and Terry’s storylines

Spoilers ahead

Please bear in mind that these are my thoughts and interpretations. I understand others may not feel the same, and that the themes in this episode could have been difficult or painful for some, nonetheless I’m going to delve into what I took from it.

I didn’t come into season 11 expecting to care about Frank but for me, his mental decline has been one of the most interesting storylines of this season, and arguably the most interesting storyline for his character throughout the show as a whole. What sticks out for me mostly is the care that the writers have clearly taken in setting up these final moments of Frank Gallagher’s swan song. This is a hard topic, it’s hard for viewers, who have developed a love/hate relationship with the man over the past 10 seasons, it’s hard for those who may have experienced loved ones suffering from dementia, and it’s a hard topic to write sensitively, especially for a character like Frank who has toed the line between villain and hero since day one.

But I do feel the writers are taking that care. It’s a slow burn, it’s not something that has come out of nowhere. It feels justified, developed, and with every episode we see those clues and those symptoms build and build and we know that there’ll be no lucky escape this time.

Frank has always had strong ties to his environment, he proudly belongs in the southside and that is heavily linked to his own selfhood, as we saw in 11x01 and his ramblings of the Gallagher’s history in Chicago (a questionable topic in terms of its accuracy). But that’s all being taken away from him. We’ve seen the gentrification of the south side, the threat of the Gallagher house being sold and now, in the latest episode, something so small as the renaming of a school is enough to threaten that wavering sense of his identity that Frank has been slowly losing as the series goes on.

Memory is a fickle thing, especially when it betrays you. The smallest things can trigger a stream of thoughts buried deep in the back of your mind and at this point, Frank relies on those triggers, because without them he ends up wandering the streets in the dark, calling out his kid’s names in a desperate attempt to simply find his way home. He talked fondly of his school days and, though he may or may not be fully aware of it, there’s a real fear that that’s going to go too, that he’ll forget.

If the school has a different name, what will ignite those happy memories again?

So he falls into his old ways, it’s political correctness gone too far, it’s a ploy by the woke millenials to specifically target people like Frank, to take away everything from him, to rewrite a history that he’s terrified he’ll one day forget and will be gone entirely. It’s a painful irony to watch his devout duty to remember battling against the inevitability of his regressing mind. Which is why, when it comes down to it and he’s standing in front of the panel of judges, we see that it was never about the naming of the school. It was about the memories he has, the ones he can still pick out of his muddled mind and share with a room full of strangers and about the responsibility we have to remember the past.

And when Frank says there are ‘Gallagher memories embedded in every inch of that school’, we see the hint at the bigger issue at play here. Selling the house, a place that’s much more befitting of that statement than an elementary school. Without it, will Frank remember his family? His childhood? Will he forget Monica eventually too? The house is the last rickety foundation of Frank’s memories, and I’m equal parts excited and anxious to see what path his storyline goes down should they sell.

Now Terry.

Terry’s was a story about closure. But this is Shameless, and we were never going to get a neat and tidy resolution. It’s gritty and it’s complicated which is part of what makes this show what it is. There’s a lot here that felt significant, though it’s hard to tell if it’s intentionally so or if, as a fan, I’m reaching as always to desperately explain every nuance of what we are given of Mickey.

The driving force of this episode is that Terry Milkovich fucking sucks.

We know that, have known that for 10 seasons, and Mickey knows that, but Mickey is in the unique position of being both Terry Milkovich’s son and the face of a people he hates. Though we all would have loved to see Mickey turn his back on him for good, I’m glad we didn’t.

Family is family, and that is something that has been ingrained into Mickey since he was a child. It’s something that’s been weaved into the show from the start, from Mickey defending Mandy from an alleged assault no questions asked, to Mickey’s brother’s helping him kill Frank, again with no questions asked.

This has been discussed countless times by people much better at words than I am so I won’t labour the point, but we’ve seen the strength of Mickey’s sense of duty, the agony it causes him and how he does it anyway. And in this episode, we got a glimpse at that relationship from both sides.

The exchange between the two of them ‘You’d have made a have decent son…’ Vs ‘You’d have made a half decent dad…’ felt genuine in a way I wasn’t expecting. Not much was said, and what was said was laced with insults but the intent was there. Terry, racist, homophobic, vile, evil Terry in an undignified moment of vulnerability in being taken care of by the person he tortured and abused, is forced to face that fact. I’m not saying he feels remorse, or guilt or anything resembling that, but he’s aware of the situation and he responds to it. All he has left are his scathing words. He uses them, Mickey fights back and they’re left at a ceasefire.

It’s an exchange that sums up their years of history, and the fact that they had that conversation together is so important to the closure of their story because it’s an acknowledgement. It’s Terry admitting that Mickey was useful to him, then and now, and it’s Mickey finally getting to say what he’s always wanted to his father, just the two of them, without an audience. We then see Terry open his mouth and we, as an audience, wonder for just a moment if there is going to be more, maybe Mickey does too until it’s clear that Terry is just ordering Mickey to continue feeding him, to continue to be useful.

It’s interesting that in this small gesture, we see that Mickey’s usefulness in the situation outweighs Terry’s hatred of him, something that’s never happened between them.

And I believe from Mickey’s point of view, he understood that that’s as close to an apology as he’s going to get. But I also don’t think he was looking for one. He said himself, he wants to be better than Terry, and every single action he’s taken since then has proved that he already is.

I think I would have loved if this storyline had been given the time that Frank’s has, if it had been built up gradually, rather than the show treating Terry like a cartoon villain who in later seasons just seems to come and go when necessary, and then trying to squeeze whatever moments of sincerity they could from Noel’s gut-punching acting choices. (The look on Mickey’s face at the end is one I won’t be forgetting soon).

The death was shocking. I’m still figuring out how I feel about it. But it’s interesting to see that it’s Terry’s evil nature that is ultimately what killed him. His racist attitude chased away the first two carers, he bullied and harassed them until Ian and Mickey were forced to find someone white in the hopes his attitude would be different. Had he not driven the first two away, maybe he’d be alive. I would say he was undone by his own fatal flaw, but that would be implying Terry deserves the fanfare equal to that of a Greek hero. Instead, it’s simply an evil old man finally facing the consequences of his actions.

As they say in Oz, ding dong, the witch is dead.

#shameless spoilers #11x08 #TW dementia #TW death #Shameless #Frank Gallagher #Terry Milkovich #this got long oops

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illeee-girl · 3 years

Text

La La(chimolala) Land Chapter Four: To the Hills

jimin x reader genre: fluff, fluff, and more fluff word count: 2.5k warnings: none

[Inspired by La La Land]

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Read on Ao3

You wait on the sidewalk outside your apartment building, gazing up at the palm fronds directly towering over you and the electric blue sky beyond. Late spring in LA is usually nice, after the rainy season has finished—but this year's weather is phenomenal. If you weren't waiting on the car to come pick you up, you'd have headed for the hills hours ago. For a moment, you consider ditching. A picnic up the canyon sounds nice. After all, you do love your alone time.

But you've been anticipating this moment all weekend. So when the limo pulls up, you climb inside.

Is a limo really necessary? I'm just one person. But it doesn't seem like this Jimin guy does things halfway.

The driver takes the 405 up into the Valley, and ventures out onto Mulholland Drive. As you climb higher towards the cloudless sky, you take in the view below. It's a clear day; you can see for miles. You think back to your first meeting with Jimin. You have to look up, he'd said.

Now, you wonder why you were ever looking down.

You reach San Vincente Mountain Park, a picturesque spot perched atop a peak in the Santa Monica Mountains. The dirt road ahead has been blocked off, but a team of men arrive almost instantly to remove the barriers for you. Trailers, cameras, and lighting equipment are spread across the dusty mountain landscape. The driver opens the door for you—nice touch—and you step out of the limo.

"JIMIN-SSHI, SHE'S HERE!" You hear a voice yell.

The door to a trailer across the way bursts open with a dramatic flourish, and Jimin appears in the frame. His blonde hair is freshly washed and blow-dried, his makeup impeccably applied. He's dressed in a crisp, baby-blue suit that compliments the afternoon sky in a way that had to have been planned. The top few buttons of his white dress shirt are undone, and as he eagerly approaches you, you notice a tiny mole resting on his collarbone.

"Y/N! You're here! I'm glad you made it before we start filming—I can show you around a bit. Was the ride comfortable? I wanted a white limo but the service said they only had black available. Did you find the strawberries I put for you in the cooler? I was worried you wouldn't open it and find them there, so I wanted to put a sign, like a sticky note that said 'Hey, Y/N! Open here for strawberries!'—but Tae said that would be tacky, and I think he's right. Oh, and I hope you like strawberries. I hope you're not allergic. In The Parent Trap, Lindsey Lohan's allergic to strawberries. That's how I know it's a real possibility. You can learn so much from movies. Have you seen—"

"Jimin-ah, breathe." One of Jimin's bandmates appears behind him, slapping his back and stopping his monologue. "I'm sorry, Y/N. He gets chatty when he's nervous." He winks. "I'm Taehyung, but you can call me Tae."

"It's nice to meet you, Tae."

"That's Jungkook over there, downing donuts at craft service. He's the one who shouted when your limo pulled up."

"I am perfectly able to introduce her to Jungkook myself, hyung," Jimin defends.

"Yes," Tae responds, "but can you do it in less than eight thousand words?"

Jimin stares daggers at his bandmate, but quickly turns his attention back to you. "Come with me," he says, grabbing your arm to lead you. He lets go just seconds later, and looks as if he'd just reminded himself of something important. "You look great, by the way."

And he's right. You still feel terribly outclassed by him in the fashion department, but you spent a lot more time on your ensemble this time. It's warm out, so you paired a collared, pinstriped dress made of light cotton with a pair of wedge sandals. Walking along the dirt road makes you regret wearing open-toed shoes, but you can't help but notice that the blue of your dress exactly matches the blue of his suit. And with the vibrant California sky as a backdrop, you're both a picture in azure.

You make the traditional amount of small talk—how's your day, how was your weekend—as he leads you down a path and up some stairs to a viewing platform. From here, you can see both the Valley and LA: slopes and canyons, palm trees and sage brush, dirt roads and highways. You can certainly see more from up here than you could on top of City Hall.

You lean against the railing, and Jimin lags behind a bit before joining you. He doesn't seem too enthralled by the view beyond his immediate location.

"We always seem to find ourselves high up, huh?" You smile at him.

"We sure do," a grin tugs at his lips before he licks them nervously. "You're not . . . scared by being up here, are you? We can go back down."

"No, I'm fine." You assure him. "It's . . . beautiful up here."

"It is," he agrees—but he still isn't looking out towards the city. A gust of wind travels through his hair and shirt, reminding you again of the time you met. You feel the urge to grab his collar again—but why? You're not frightened.

In fact, you feel enchanted.

"So, what can I expect today?" You ask him.

"Oh, right," he says, remembering the reason you're here. "Well, we're filming a music video for our new album. The song's about flying high through life—above the chaos and noise of all the distractions—so we figured a mountain peak would be a good fit. Or, rather, the directors did. I don't get to make these decisions."

"Wait . . . is that why you were at City Hall? To shoot at a place high in the air?"

He nods. "As the video progresses, we travel higher and higher up."

"That's . . . way cool."

"As always, you have such a way with words, Y/N."

You smile. "I sure hope so. My entire dream depends on it."

He turns serious. "Well, you'll learn a lot today. We're going to film the parts of the song that we need to, and it'll take more than a couple of tries. You'll see us get flustered, and tired, and hungry, and frustrated. One of us may even get mad at another—it's been known to happen—but someone else will step in and help out."

"And are you usually the peacemaker around here, or the instigator?"

"I . . . opt not to answer that question."

"By refusing to respond, you answer it for me."

"That's only because you're highly intelligent." He moves closer to you.

"Not at all. It's common sense. People want to save face. They'll avoid saying anything that will make them look bad. I've studied this in my character development classes—I know."

"I don't doubt it." He half-whispers, getting closer still.

"And seeing as how you were such a chatterbox earlier when you were nervous, you probably get quiet and despondent when you're frustrated. They're quite different emotions—at least in my book—so you're bound to have converse responses."

"You already know me so well." His lips are inches from yours.

"JIMIN! WE START SHOOTING IN FIVE!" A yell interrupts.

"Ughhh," he whines. "Duty calls."

_________________________

In what seems like a flash, Jimin is in front of the cameras. It's a real "Avengers Assemble" moment, except with seven extremely attractive Korean men dressed in suits. Tae's in navy, and Jungkook—who seems to be the star of the show—is in white. You're unsure of the others' names; there was no time for introductions like Jimin had planned.

They line up in a v-formation with Jungkook at the helm. Jimin's near the back . . .

But you cannot, for the life of you, take your eyes off of him as he starts dancing.

It's anything but a simple dance. The song has a steady, powerful beat—and Jimin follows it exactly. Every part of him is moving: feet, shoulders, hips . . . you cannot stop watching his hips.

You brought your favorite notebook and pen, planning to absorb as much as you can for your research. But not a lot gets written down. What words could you even use to describe it? Enthralling? Entrancing? Mesmerizing?

How about just sexy?

Woah, you tell yourself. Stop it. You can do this. Focus.

They do about five takes of the dance. A few of them sing along with the backing track (they'd recorded the song beforehand so they would have something to dance to), but Jimin isn't one of them. They take breaks in between to swig some water, and the makeup artists come out of the shadows to freshen the boys' looks. By the fifth take, the directors are fairly satisfied with the results—but Jimin doesn't seem to be.

"I don't think I'm hitting the beat quite right when Jin starts singing," he says. He crouches behind the camera equipment to watch the playback. "Yup. Right there. I'm coming in late."

"Jimin-ah, you've been dancing perfectly," says one of the taller ones. He seems to be the leader of the group. "If the film crew doesn't see a problem, I think we can move on to the next shot."

"One more try, Namjoon-ah. Please," Jimin pleads.

You watch as Jimin practically writhes in discomfort. He nervously pulls at his fingers and runs his hands through his hair as he watches the playback over and over again. What's going through his head is as clear as day to you.

He's being much, much too hard on himself.

You're unsure of how to approach him. You feel out of place among all these professionals—you're just some random, nerdy screenwriter, after all—but you want to help him.

Your feet start moving before your brain realizes what you're doing. You emerge from your comfortable spot in the background and walk towards the camera station. He sees you approaching out of the corner of his eye and turns to look at you. You stop in your tracks, sheer panic hitting you like a semi-truck. What do I say to him? You manage a weak, shy smile.

And he matches it with a grin: one that holds the power to explode any heart.

"Very well," Jimin says to Namjoon. "Let's move on."

The team quickly shoots the scene for one of the rapper's parts, and then it's time for Jimin's solo at the bridge of the song. The hair and makeup team has altered his look just a little bit; the suit jacket has come off, and a few more of the buttons on his dress shirt have been popped. He struts out of his trailer, spotting you waiting off to the side.

"I'm sorry for all the wait. But at least now you know that the industry requires a lot of patience."

You force your eyes to leave his bare chest. "It's okay. I'm learning a lot." Only half a lie.

"That's awesome." A long pause ensues. His eyes travel downwards. "It's . . . it can be intense. I wish—"

"Park Jimin! Get up to that viewing platform, now!" Interrupted again.

He cringes. "I'm sorry this keeps happening."

A director walks up, and proceeds to literally drag Jimin away from you.

You trail behind the posse, struggling to keep up in your wedges. You clutch your notebook to your chest. What was he about to say? He wishes . . . he wishes what? Thoughts swirl through your head, and excitement swirls through your stomach.

Focus up, you tell yourself. You review the minimal notes you've taken on the band members—just a page of bullet points—as you walk. Supportive of one another. Self-deprecating to a fault. Busy as can be . . .

You stand on the fringe of the film crew as Jimin readies himself for his solo. He does a few vocal exercises and stretches, and even takes a few moments to do some deep breathing. After a few minutes, he says: "I'm ready."

You, however, are not ready for what he's about to do.

There's no dancing this time. His job is pretty much just to walk across the viewing platform, lean against the railing a bit, and sing his part of the bridge. It's a beautiful scene, but next to what you witnessed earlier, it seems underwhelming—at first.

But then he opens his mouth.

It's your first time hearing him sing—and you are again at a loss for words. You can't imagine a sound clearer, a voice more beautiful. It's a voice with the power to caress you gently, to bring you to tears, to take you to places unexplored. The pure emotion he puts into it is unparalleled.

If I could capture this feeling in my writing, you think, I would be the most renowned screenwriter in the world.

It takes him about an hour to get it "just right," but every single take sounds like perfection to you. When he's finally finished, he downs a bottle of water and uses a towel to dry the beads of sweat forming along his hairline and collarbone. He's exhausted; clearly, he's not used to the heat. His face goes white, and he looks like he might pass out.

But you catch his eye, and he summons up enough strength to climb down the stairs to talk to you.

"Jimin, that . . ." you stumble over yourself, averting his gaze. "There are no words."

"There had better be. Your dream depends upon it, remember?"

"There's no way I can capture what you just did."

He glances down at the ground, kicking a pebble, hands in his pockets. His smile makes another appearance, the color returning to his face.

"Jimin," you start. He looks up. "Earlier, outside your trailer, you started to say something. Something about wishing . . ."

Suddenly, panic fills his eyes. "Look at the time, Y/N!"

You notice he's not wearing a watch.

He starts leading you down the path back to the main setup. "You must be getting hungry. I'll have the car take you back home. You've been up here all day—you've probably sunburned. Later, I can show you some skincare products that I swear by. J-Hope and Yoongi and I love to do face masks together. It's great bonding time, you know?" By the time you reach the road, the limo is there waiting. "Text me and let me know you got home safe. I hope you learned a lot today—you're going to be a great screenwriter someday."

He stuffs you into the limo, closes the door, and walks off.

During your descent back into LA, you feel deflated and disappointed. What the crap was that? He'd almost kissed me earlier . . . what changed since then?

Besides Jimin's enigmatic goodbye, the only words that run through your mind on the trip home are those Tae had said to you:

He gets chatty when he's nervous.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts fanfiction #park jimin #park jimin x reader #park jimin fanfiction #jimin #bts jimin #jimin x reader #jimin fanfiction #jimin fanfic #park jimin fanfic #jimin fic #inspired by La La Land #La La(chimolala) Land

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unohanadaydreams · 4 years

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Not sure if this counts as THIRST, but I'm weird when it comes to Mayuri. Like, he's so damn feral it makes my knees weak, but I also would KILL to have the kind of relationship with him where the smallest shift in his demeanor speaks a million words from across a room. The drooping of his eyelids, for example: there are fractions of a millimeter in difference that tell if he's bored, surprisingly less irritated than moments before, or contemplating detonating the bomb in your chest.

this activated my sixth sense omfg

warning: not healthy relationship stuff. abusive relationship. toxic relationship. all such tags. mayuri being mayuri type shit.

this is character thirst. no smut only yearning.

The moment Mayuri looked you up and down, your thesis paper waving in his tight grip, and sneered. the moment he said “well, their standards have always been dreadfully low, but perhaps I should send them a letter of complaint afterall?” you knew you wanted to be close to him. to cut back the layers of paint and distaste he was hiding behind and really SEE him.

or maybe it was after, when you rewrote it and told him to “send them a letter now, taicho” after tossing it on the table he sat at and he really read it. and didn’t kill you. or demote you.

he just sent the fucking letter.

and when the academy inquired for a meeting with you both, wanting to know if you needed to be ‘held back for unsatisfactory dedication to expected duties’ he had simply rolled his eyes. sneered. scoffed and laughed in the same breath.

told them “ha! i hardly think you can afford to withhold every unqualified hack you push my way. and I certainly don’t have the patience to correct your incompetent instructors.” and left.

oh, after that? you wanted to cut back the layers of paint and distaste he was hiding behind and really SEE him.

death by a thousand cuts, as they say.

except you were the one constantly at risk.

your every stubborn insistence and unrelenting opposition to him put you farther on the path to...something. some days you thought for sure it was a nasty, prolonged death on a table. others you felt so hopeful that things were going right, tears would tighten your throat.

sure, it wasn’t healthy to want such a horrible creature wrapped around your finger--to risk so much of your self for glimpses of a chance of your hand holding his. of his lips on yours of....of things that heated your cheeks and slicked your thighs.

but beyond reason, you wanted him. the nasty man he was. and the lovely day dreams you passed time with.

stubborn and selfish. you wanted your tasty, poisoned cake and to survive eating it too.

you became obsessed with him, your silly dressed captain and his mean words and his cruel actions.

not in the quiet, reverent way that would’ve kept you safer, but distant. No, no. You matched his sneers with rolls of your eyes and each snark he delivered was returned with a sound bite of your own.

“These trials are pathetic,” he said, sneer every present and hands gesturing wide. Come back with the applicable information or join them on the tables.”

“I collected exactly what you wrote! If you wanted more variables tested, you should learn to use your words! But as you wish, taicho!”

That was the line you kept. “with all due respect”. “taicho”. “mayuri-sama”. “i just want to get it right for you.” “I’m just trying to help you.” “i’d do anything for you.”

‘i love you i love you i love you i-’

you always licked the wounds after you left them.

maybe that’s why you were still alive. you learned where he drew the lines and you only toed them when they seemed loose.

at least, you’d like to think you knew him well enough by now, that your life wasn’t a constant dice roll swayed by his mood and curiosity only.

because you certainly where forced on to tables, injected with chemicals that made you toss your lunch and dry heave for hours after, implanted with literal bombs, and forced to work hellish hours that even his magic caffeine pills could not perk you up with, towards the beginning. when you were strutting in blind and foolish and mistaking his ‘you’re going to be reprimanded’ sneer for a ‘you have a point and though i hate that, i respect it’ sneer.

perhaps it was pathetic and terrible how in tune you were to his every look and word and gesture, but you had to be. if you were to walk beside him while he berated your work. if you were to feel the light brush of painted hand feather down your cheek after leaving it bruised. if you were to sleep beside him at night, nearly touching, his body relaxed and sincere in unconsciousness. you had to be.

the thing about him belonging to you was this:

you would always belong to him MORE.

he always demanded the upper hand.

perhaps he had alluded to his childhood once.

“ah, that rukongai. as a former resident, I assure you they’re all but dead anyhow. my experiment will give them meaning. tell them to be honored if you must tell them anything.”

but he held the button that would leave you paste on cold stone.

to those outside looking in, you looked to be on equal footing. a power couple. and perhaps in a twisted way you were. maybe this is what equality was to Mayuri--one of his hands smoothing over a detonator as you kissed him and gleaned if you could get away with another from the droop of his eyes and pace of his breath.

it felt like you were protecting the vestiges of humanity in him while it pained him to let you keep yours.

really, that’s why you thought he allowed it your love to leave any sort of mark on him.

who had ever protected Mayuri Kurotsuchi? except for you and the make believe girl he created from cells and gigai, you didn’t think anyone had ever bothered.

by the time anyone really saw him--by the time he MADE people see him--, who would want to, really? he had to create someone to before you came along and you were sure he didn’t fully understand that had become her objective, that he had MADE that her objective, until she was gone.

holding Nemuri in your arms, her chubby little hands grabbing for your wrigginling finger, you smiled at him.

Smiled at the man you kept trying to convince was a man with feelings and wants and not a wrinkly brained intellect covered in paint.

and he looked like he was going to--

his mouth turned down, almost like a conscious effort, into a sneer.

“Your coddling will ruin it.”

“She can’t evolve staring at a wall, mayuri.”

He paused and you felt for the line. you were sure it was loose, easily slipped past now, with Nemuri in your arms. after he’d almost...

“Imprinting it to you is not evolution. ”

You laughed, peppering Nemuri’s face with kisses as you returned her babbling with praise.

“It’s actually a fascinating part of evolution. Surely, Mayuri-sama can tell me why?”

“My, if you need a lecture on genomic imprinting then perhaps I should leave you smeared on the walls of the 11th.”

“Bring a bottle of white and it sounds like a date!”

It was more than you’d hoped for being right beside him. Sneaking past every vulnerable line and basking in who he was when no one was looking--

The right half of his lip raised more than the left and you smartly said only ‘yes, mayuri-sama’ when he changed the subject, told you to resume flash cards with the baby not old enough to speak.

--for as long as you could before he tightened his defenses again.

#mayuri kurotsuchi #abuse tw #abusive relationship tw #thirst post tower #but like.....CHARACTER thirst #anon i feel you and i have so much to say about it #like his zanpakuto is a protector that spits poison aka protecc and attacc for Mayuri #because No One Protected Him and so he because a nasty nasty man

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vermiculus-incipiens · 3 years

Photo

OOC INFORMATION:

What’s your name? ashlie

Preferred pronouns: she/her

Timezone: est

IC INFORMATION:

Character Name: Sirius Orion Black III

What’s a hobby or pastime that your character enjoys? Throughout Sirius’s teen years the thought of participating in school activities fell to the wayside. No matter how much his best friend may love the sport, the idea of Sirius in a little Quidditch uniform or chumming around with Old Sluggy went entirely against the bad boy image he had worked so hard to curate for himself over his time in the castle. Besides, rebellion was a full time job in itself and when paired with his duties as a Marauder first and foremost… Well it was fair to say Sirius had thought up a whole slew of reasons he never participated in organized activities outside of his simple refusal to do anything that may link him to Slytherin house and by extension other members of the House of Black. He had however, transfigured himself a sketch pad during a detention with McGonagall his third year and art had become an outlet he never thought he would obtain. It was like a diary– his deepest thoughts and fears laid out in that book, including the things he was too afraid to even tell James. Sure, sometimes his forms would be lined with mindless doodles. Or notes past along during Order meetings held unfriendly caricatures of Alastor Moody and were hidden between his three people, followed by giggles as if they were nothing more than school-boys again. But lately that same sketchpad from his younger years became dark and full of images of the fears that plagued Sirius’s nightmares. He considers mischief making his main hobby, a final attempt to cling to what was and what could have been in a world not plagued by war. Practical jokes had never been his style, despite Sirius’s well known reputation as a prankster in his youth; his sense of humor had always been too dark for the simplicity of turning off his friends alarm or swapping Slytherins robes to rep the wonderful red and gold before a quidditch match. His idea of a prank had always toed the line of bullying and had been encouraged or at the very least pushed aside until he had managed to take things too far. He needs to be held back even still; as times continue to grow darker the fact that no one ever held Sirius accountable for his so called pranks and need to explore is only a hindrance to himself and everyone he loves.

Do you have any preferred ships or anti-ships? sirius/chemistry.

What do you think your character’s Boggart would be? If their greatest fear isn’t something that could easily take a solid form, what is it? Why? There is a difference between what Sirius expects to see when confronted with a Boggart and the form the creature actually takes and it is something that had changed more than once since the spider he came across at the age of seven in one of the rooms of Grimmauld Place. As a young adult, Sirius is not afraid of anything in this world more than what he would be if it were not for Gryffindor house. For the first time in his life he understood the difference between a house and a home. He made friends, felt cared for, and was free to be himself entirely without fear of extreme retributions. He always expects to see a version of himself just like the rest of the Most Noble and Ancient but deep down Sirius knows he had lost his family before he had been blown off the tree. He had found his true family in three boys who shared his dormitory. Still, after leaving home he was stuck up every night, waiting for that fear and pain of what was he going to do next? But Sirius already knew what he was doing from here and his family served no purpose in his life anymore. No part of him could ever be what they wanted to be, and his fears changed from what if he was one of them to what if he was still himself but never escaped his mother’s clutches. He would still see himself in the Boggart, but younger, that same fear in his eyes that haunted him every year at the end of term when he knew he had to return home to 12 Grimmauld Place.

What’s your character’s biggest pet peeve? Sirius claims his largest pet peeve is conformity, only because he cannot think of a more respectable way to say he can’t stand a kiss ass. After years of desperately trying to appease a mother who would never find him good enough, watching other people do the same grates on his nerves in a way he hasn’t fully figured out just yet. If he could break free of his mother’s hold why couldn’t Regulus? Why couldn’t Peter simply express an opinion of his own? Sure Sirius could be ruthless in how he turns down the other Marauders lesser ideas, but he couldn’t be anything like his parents were, he was their friend.

What would you consider to be an eccentricity of your character? Sirius struggles to recall a time his blood status was not the focal point of his identity and the harder he pushed away, the stronger it clung to him. From the day he was born he was never Sirius– but the Black family heir. The one who would inherit the family fortune, carry on the name of the most noble and ancient. As he grew older he became the rebel, the disgrace to the 28 who was only headed for trouble and needed to be set straight. His own housemates saw him as nothing more than a overly-privileged pureblooded brat who wanted to play like he was one of them for a while. He had truly thought he escaped the stereotypes of a member of the Sacred 28 when he’d been disowned, forced to be a burden on his best friend and start an entirely new life, but even still he heard it. That Black kid got what was coming to him, nothing but a spoiled brat who didn’t know how good he had it until it was gone. His sense of entitlement is obvious to those who were raised differently than him, although maybe more difficult to spot by his fellow purebloods. Sirius has always been impulsive, when the stress and anxiety gets too much to bear he lashes out, acts up and can forget it isn’t always his own safety he is putting at risk. After that day at the willow- he’s refused to call it a prank since it happened- he has tried to put more thoughts into his actions but quite often even still, his racing thoughts take over. His entitlement doesn’t make him a bad person, it just takes a lot more effort to get Sirius to allow a person to see past the barriers he has put around himself. He wants the people around him to see a blank expression, an uncaring bad-boy, or the one with charming grin who was always quick to make you laugh because if he doesn’t care he can’t be hurt again. It takes a lot to get past those coping mechanisms.

What is/was your character’s favorite subject in school? Why? Defense Against the Dark Arts initially grabbed Sirius’s interest for the same reason he did anything else, he knew it would frustrate his mother. As time passed Sirius realized he enjoyed the dark arts part of the class a little more than he felt comfortable admitting to anyone, even if he only enjoyed it through a lens of how to combat darker magic.

What time of day is your character’s favorite? What time of year? Sirius has always been an early riser, even as he grew older and clung to the idea of adolescent rebellion, waking before the sunrise was a habit he never seemed to shake. It still felt like his only moments of peace at times. It had always given him that same feeling he would get as the seasons changed from summer to fall; a cool breeze and leaves crunching below his feet bringing him back to fresh starts and finally reconnecting with his friends and found family. September first has yet to lose place as Sirius’s favorite day of the year, he’s determined to find a way to ensure the Marauders keep that day sacred, no matter what may come of them in the years to come. Just reliving the memories and knowing a new generation is making their own has always been able to pull him out of his own depressions, even if only for a few short hours.

What’s your character’s Patronus? If they can’t conjure one, what would it be if they could? Why? It’s become increasingly more difficult to pull the New Foundland ( only slightly altered from his own animagus form ) to front nowadays. Some days he can’t seem to manage it at all, a failure so strikingly different from the feeling of accomplishment when he had mastered the charm so young. He had expected the mixed breed he had grown so used to transfiguring into to blast from his wand so the purebred canine had felt like a slap in the face, especially since Sirius succeeded for the first time so soon after leaving home, but so much of himself was there, even if it hurt to admit it. Despite the popularity he held throughout his teen years and the confidence he displayed to anyone outside his closest circle, Sirius knew he was known to many as James Potter’s best friend. Man’s best friend- it was a title he oddly felt proud of, even if he would love to be seen more for his accomplishments than his dependency of his three best friends. For as cuddly and loving as Sirius is once he trusts you, he is also prone to lash out when threatened as well. Many have claimed his bark is worse than his bite and Sirius’s words can absolutely be cruel, but at the end of the day he will follow his instincts and attack if you threaten him or the people he loves.

What is your character’s biggest vice (bad habit or immoral craving)? Before things got where they are now, everyone had already begun to simply assume Sirius, the life of every party, would show up already with a buzz. Sometimes one of his friends will be laughing alongside him, matching glazed looks in their eyes; although as time passed the occurrences where Sirius was alone in his drunken state came more and more often. Orion had given him his first drink at fourteen as a reward for behaving through an important dinner and since then Sirius has held quite the taste for top shelf Scotches. He doesn’t often drink beer and he never drinks anything cheap, one of the few traits left over from a life he once lived.

Is your character an introvert or extrovert? How well do they handle social situations? Many tend to mistake introversion with shyness, and that is something Sirius has always been far from. He is one to thrive in a social setting, charming and witty, he has always held the ability to make others swoon in his presence. Sirius lights up a room simply by walking into it and the only downside is how hyper aware he is of the impact he has on those around him. At the end of the day however, he needs time to recharge. A night in with the Marauders will always hold priority over a boys night out at the club and large social settings get tiring after a few hours of making nice with people he can barely pretend to remember the names of. Being on all the time gets tiring, and at the end of the day like any introvert he needs time alone to reflect or more recently, wallow in self-pity.

What is your character’s diet like? What’s his or her favorite food? Food security has never been an issue in Sirius’s mind, even after leaving his childhood home, he never went hungry or even without a well balanced and well cooked meal. Now that he is no longer living under adult supervision however, home cooked meals have been replaced by a takeaway more nights than not, although certain meals have special meaning to him still. Chinese takeaway containers a reminder of the first few nights in his first apartment, or the roast he would eat every Christmas he had spent at Hogwarts his first few years in the castle.

How do you think your character’s psychological issues have manifested and changed your character up to this point? Sirius’s first night at Hogwarts was confusing for him. These children were nothing like the dirty muggles from his bedtime stories, or the ignorant fools from the cautionary tales of his childhood. His mind was racing, trying to take in all this conflicting information while simultaneously seeking out ‘proper’ friends like he was told. It had been too much as he continued to wipe the sweat off his hands inside his pocket, breaths shallow as he tried to keep himself from being sick. He just wanted to sincerely have the courage he was pretending to possess and maybe he could calm down enough to figure out where to go from here. He was nothing more than some scared, pathetic little child who desperately needed to be brave enough to get through the day and put these puzzle pieces together. For a while having been sorted into Gryffindor was the worst thing that could ever happen to him. After his sorting he had immediately hidden under the covers of his bed, writing an apology letter to his parents. He completely blocked out his other roommates, was snippy and rude, even to the boy who had been so nice to him on the train, the one who would later become his brother in everything but blood. Everything Sirius had ever known was questioned when he was sorted into Gryffindor and while he had slowly been losing the affection of his family a bit more his entire life, truly separating himself like this was the scariest thing he had ever encountered. Something that kept him up at night for years was how terrified he was of losing the only family he ever knew. He needed to gain courage because of the house, he had never felt brave and had to work harder than anyone to fit in in the tower ‘where dwell the brave at heart’. He continued to try to blend in with the Blacks, even as he started growing his friendship with James, Remus, and Peter. He had been the heir to one of the oldest and most prominent families in Britain and no matter how much more appealing letting himself be a child with his friends seemed, he was not mature enough to know pulling away from his family’s teachings was an option. He had begun by toying with rebellion and facing the consequences whenever he had no choice but to come home, finding comfort and endearment in three boys he spent his free time attached to at the hip. Still, the transfer year after year from Gryffindor Tower to Grimmauld Place left Sirius uncertain, not only with the behaviors he was taught were proper, but over his family and their own individual morality when compared to how he was treated by others outside the elitist and abusive behaviors of the members of the Sacred 28. Walburga was unafraid of using an unforgivable on her eldest and indifference on his behalf eventually became determination to turn him into another clone of every Black before him. He had learned young the true meaning of the privileges of being born pure. It had never made them better than others, simply made it easier to get by doing whatever they wanted without facing the consequences those who didn’t have generations of connections would have to deal with. In turn that meant Sirius began to brush off his fears early, plaster a smile on his face and hope the people around him also cared little enough to pretend to believe it. The mischief maker never seen without a smile on his face doesn’t need the same resources as those openly weeping. Eventually Sirius learned to use that adreleline from causing caos to get him through the day to day. He became dependent on the pranks and adventures he had during his school days to keep his mind off of the realities of a family who hated him and whispers of a war where he knew he would end up fighting his own blood. After spending seven years as a close-knit gang of teenage boys, coming up with nicknames and wreaking havoc on Hogwarts’ ground and staff- Sirius had not been ready to give it up. The rush of the Marauders made him feel something for the first time and the Order seemed to be a bigger and better version of this, but this time with a purpose. Coming in Sirius got a kick out of the meetings, knowing how his mother would disapprove and putting his money where his mouth is to prove to every person who ever told him he would never be anything more than another privileged pureblood. When the realities of war started to hit it made Sirius wonder if he had ever truly been as progressive as he liked to think he was. He slowly began to realise the danger that the people he cares about are in, and just how wrong what is happening is and he’s starting to really fight for a cause rather than trying to cause as much trouble as he can while he’s young and alive. But it’s still all centered around himself and his own world. Sirius wants to fight for his friends’ safety. Get this war over with so he does not have to deal with any more loss. He cannot handle more loss, it would ruin him. Losing Regulus had pushed him over the edge in a way Sirius had refused to accept was a possibility when he signed on to join the Order. He knew he would be fighting the people he grew up alongside. Every duel he made sure to take in every feature he could piece behind the death eater masks, knowing if he had to come face to face with his brother he wouldn’t have the strength to follow through with it. But Reg dying so quickly, so young for a cause Sirius had warned him against so many times had destroyed him. The guilt eats him alive, if only he had sucked it up and stayed home. What if he hadn’t given him the choice and forced him to run away with him when Sirius escaped to the Potters. Things had started to become real, he would continue to lose the people he always thought as untouchable.

Give us a headcanon for your character. Anything is acceptable. Sirius hadn’t run off to the Potters on his own free will. Fights with his mother and father had only grown more intense that summer after a year of goofing around at school and thinking he could get away with behaving like a clown all year and not face the repercussions when he finally returned home. He had not been told the exacts words saying to leave 12 Grimmauld Place, but yelling he was no longer welcome in their family and the rush to blast Sirius’s name off the family tree had pretty heavily implied as such. James and his parents were the only people he ever told he was kicked out, that first night when he finally arrived on their front door. After that night it was only that he simply left home when anyone asked, even Remus and Peter while having more of the story than anyone else, do not have the entirety that Sirius explained that first night. The words run away didn’t leave his lips until after his graduation from Hogwarts when he needed to prove to the Order that his last name did not make him untrustworthy.

#Sirius Black #Closed Character #Accepted #VIAccepted

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theres-a-goldensky · 4 years

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BL Show Review Series - My Engineer and 2gether

I am new to BL series, having only discovered them thanks to being stuck at home in quarantine. However, I’ve now watched enough of them that I feel like I have a lot to say and nowhere to say it. So I decided to write some reviews, talk about some issues that I had, and mainly get all of these feelings out of me.

Disclaimer that these are my own opinions, and I don’t know where the BL community as a whole stands on these shows. If I disliked a show you loved or visa versa, no disrespect is intended!

First up, then, are My Engineer and 2gether

MASTERLIST OF BL SHOW REVIEWS

MY ENGINEER

Rating: 4/10 (Revised score: 6/10)

Main Pairing

The premise of this show is silly, but I was willing to let that pass if it was cute enough. It wasn’t. Not for me, anyway. The main pairing was very lackluster, and their courtship started off weird, with freshman Duen inexplicably feeling obligated to care for the older Bohn. Duen accidentally punches Bohn, but that interaction spirals into Duen letting Bohn bully him into buying Bohn flowers every day for a month as recompense.

You get it from Bohn’s perspective. He clearly is interested in Duen from the beginning, and this is his inept way of flirting. But Duen going along with it at first, when he dislikes Bohn, is baffling. I thought there must have been something I missed. Was it because Bohn was his senior?

The parts I found most charming about their story involved them interacting with their younger siblings. In particular, Duen’s love of his little sister was genuinely heartwarming. There’s a date scene late in the series that is the highlight of their story for me.

There is a ridiculous, drawn out arc about which one of them is going to top, which I was super done with before it even started. It ends with the message that, hey, anyone can be a top or a bottom and it doesn’t matter, but man did the story take its time getting there. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

Side Pairings

There are three additional side pairings happening here, which was at least one too many. However, the relationship between King and Ram quickly became the best thing about the show for me. The two of them together are charming, particularly the patient way that King enjoys Ram’s oddities and works to find a way to communicate with him anyway.

Ram, despite being a side character, is the most developed person in the show. We see a lot about his family life and his interests. He’s fiercely loyal to his friends but also very shy. Over the course of the show, you see him feel hurt and scared and angry and in love, and all without him saying much of anything at all.

The next side pairing is Mek and Boss. They are best friends and Boss calls himself Mek’s wifey. Mek is in love with Boss, to the point where he has a shrine of him hidden away in his room. It’s very sweet, even though you’re left kind of wondering, uh...why? What has Boss done to earn Mek’s undying devotion? It’s unclear.

Bafflingly, the actor who plays Mek was not speaking Thai in this. All of his lines were dubbed over -- very, very poorly -- and you can see that the words he’s speaking don’t match the words he’s supposed to be saying. I have no idea why they cast this person, though he did well given the circumstances. He has a very soulful stare that worked to demonstrate his pining. Watching him decide to help Boss get a girlfriend just because he wanted him to be happy was tough.

If I were to recommend this series, it would be to follow these two side stories. You may enjoy the Bohn/Duen romance, but I had a hard time getting attached to them or believing their chemistry.

The final pairing was between Frong and Dr. Thara. I have nothing to say about them, honestly. It could have been completely taken out and nothing would have been lost. The actors did what they could with the roles. Both were charming, both were very, very attractive, but that couldn’t save this side story for me.

The acting was just so-so, though special mention should probably go to the actors who portrayed Mek and Boss, since they spent the majority of their scenes acting with someone who was speaking an entirely different language.

There was very little tension and almost no stakes in this series, except between King and Ram.

(Update: 9/27/20

Time sometimes changes feelings on a series, and in the months since I wrote this review, I’ve come to look more favorably on this drama. My love for Ram and King has only grown, and I’ve come to tolerate Bohn and Duen’s story more than I had before. Some of the early parts are even cute, though the back half still bugs me.)

***

2GETHER THE SERIES Rating: 5/10

Main Pairing

Win and Bright, the actors who portray the main characters of Tine and Sarawat, are both just...startingly good looking. They’re tall and broad and handsome. Tine has the sweetest smile and Sarawat can sexy brood with the best of them. I think the natural charisma of both leads did a lot to paper over the cracks of a thin story where the characters made nonsensical choices just to drive forward the plot.

This is a fake dating story, which should be my JAM, ok? Straight boy freshman Tine wants to curb the attentions of Green, a gay man who is pursuing him. He decides to ask Sarawat, the campus dreamboat, to pretend date him so that Green will back off. It all makes sense so far, in terms of how these convoluted romantic comedy set-ups go. Sarawat refuses, and Tine starts up a charm offensive to get him to agree. Still makes sense. But then, once Sarawat commits to this plan, scene after scene goes like this:

Tine: Sarawat, here comes Green! Pretend to be my boyfriend! Sarawat: [pretends to be his boyfriend] Tine: Oh no, what are you doing? People are going to think we’re dating!

Like, bro, he is doing what you have explicitly asked him to do! Often just moments before! What is HAPPENING? I get that this is supposed to be Tine feeling confused about his burgeoning feelings for Sarawat, but then show that by Tine being nervous or embarrassed. Having him lash out at Sarawat made no sense and got more frustrating as the series went on.

And look, I’m just going to say it: Win and Bright seem like they didn’t want to touch each other. They have major bro chemistry, but zero romantic chemistry. It got to the point, in the last few episodes, where I thought there was a translation error and I was misunderstanding the status of their relationship. By the tail-end of the series, former playboy Tine still looks a cross between confused and horrified whenever Sarawat tries to touch him. We never once see Tine happily kiss Sarawat. I don’t understand the choices that were made by the actor, director, and writers here.

Every problem that occurs between Tine and Sarawat could be solved with a few clarifying words, but instead they get dragged on for the sake of drama.

Furthermore, I know that BLs are fond of the “I’m not gay, I just like you” trope, but for the first 11 episodes of this show, Sarawat is coded as gay. Not bi. Not straight-except-for-you. Gay. He has a literal harem of women surrounding him at all times, showering him with gifts and attention, and doesn’t once appear interested. When his mother asks him when he’s going to get a girlfriend, the look that both he and his brother give her clearly reads, “Are you fucking kidding?”

And yet, in episode 12, we are supposed to believe that his first and only other great love was a woman. It’s the way the book was written, I get it, but it rang false for me.

Side Pairings

There were two side pairings. All four of the actors involved are BL vets who performed their duties well.

Man and Type are interesting, but their story gets pushed to the side until the end of the series. However, while Tine and Sarawat’s story was floundering in the latter episodes, I was more than happy to watch this develop. Mike, who plays Man, has become one of my favorite supporting actors in these shows. He’s workman-like, bringing natural charm to his performances and always getting the job done. Seeing Man try to win Type over was fun even while it barely toed the line between sweet and creepy.

Mil and Phukong though? I was not here for any of it. Mil was a jerk and Phukong was a doormat. The way they ended the series was insulting to Phukong. I’d say he deserved better, but his insistence on going after Mil even though Mil was a genuine asshole to both him and his brother did his character no favors. The show wanted Mil to be redeemed by the end, but no thanks, I’ll pass. Phukong may not have deserved better, but Drake and Frank definitely did. I hated it.

Like I said, the actors are so likable and gorgeous, and the fake dating trope is such a classic, that I really wanted to like this one. The first few episodes were sweet and had potential, but the awkwardness between them that I assumed would go away by the end never did.

MASTERLIST OF BL SHOW REVIEWS

(Send me an ask if you have a show you’d like me to review - with the understanding that I will be completely honest - or if there’s anything you think I forgot or got wrong in this review.)

#bl series #2gether #bl review series #my engineer #saratine #sarawat/tine #king/ram #gmmtv

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green-blooded · 4 years

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So I had to see with my very own eyes someone saying that McCoy caused problems on the bridge by arguing and undermined Spock’s authority. And I’d LOVE to be the sort of person who could just roll my eyes and move on, but WE KNOW BY NOW THAT’S NOT WHO I AM.

Let me go point by point.

1) The CMO belongs in the sickbay.

Well, we can’t be sure that he’s on shift any of those times he’s on the bridge, but even if he is. Both Kirk and Spock regularly indicate that they value his advice. But even if THAT weren’t the case, something you notice while rewatching Star Trek during a health crisis is how often Star Trek plots require medical expertise. Not to mention that the CMO is key to making sure that the person in command is capable of performing his or her duties, so that’d be pretty hard to do from sickbay.

2) The rest of the series ‘fixed’ this ‘problem.’

DID THEY THOUGH?

The Next Generation includes Troi on the bridge in nearly every episode (she has her own chair next to the Captain!), and although she isn’t CMO, she is a medial professional who serves a very similar role of giving the Captain a view of the situation that’s more based on individuals than the big picture. She just has a different personality than McCoy. Not to mention that Dr. Crusher is regularly on the bridge as well, and her opinion is valued and relevant! And she butts heads with Picard pretty regularly! It’s not as much as TOS just because Picard runs a different kind of ship than Kirk.

Moving on to another series, in Deep Space Nine, Bashir runs to the command center to yell at everyone trying to get their work done about how he just met a tailorspy. He’s there a whole lot, and ALSO serves a role similar to the one McCoy plays now and then. (An episode like Cardassians comes to mind.)

Now, not every series has done this, and they tend to be more ensemble than TOS, but this set up is not limited to the original series.

3) McCoy undermined Spock’s command.

This one gets me a little heated, but I’ll try to be chill about it. (Don’t let the caps lock make you think I’m not chill. I’m so totally chill, you guys.)

First of all, who the hell doesn’t follow Spock’s commands after McCoy has questioned one of his decisions? Galileo Seven is the closest you can get to that, but that wasn’t McCoy’s fault. He wasn’t even the one doing the majority of the arguing in that one.

And let’s look at an episode like The Doomsday Machine, one of the actually FEW times McCoy goes off on Spock while they’re on the bridge--since most of their bridge conversations in front of other people tend to be playful, not aggressive I mean do you REMEMBER the time McCoy had to arrest Spock for literal mutiny and he asked SPOCK FOR REASSURANCE THAT HE WAS DOING WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO??? BECAUSE HE RESPECTS SPOCK’S COMMAND?????? But okay, in Doomsday, he really does question Spock intensely... but Spock’s not in command. Decker is. And Decker is LITERALLY TRYING TO GET THEM ALL KILLED. And what is McCoy actually arguing for? Spock to take command. FUNNY, THAT. It’s almost like he actually RESPECTS Spock.

Okay, let’s look at some other times. The Gamesters of Triskelon, where McCoy thinks Spock’s wrong about where the crew disappeared to. Yeah, he and Scott both go at him... and then Spock PLAYFULLY asks if they want to commit mutiny about it, and they’re both like “what??? no... dude wtf.” Because it’s a given that they never would! Because Spock’s in command! In The Tholian Web, when McCoy’s not even in full control of his emotions, he apologizes so genuinely for his outburst right before literally passing out because he’s so bad off. Like????

I don’t know, y’all. This concept of who McCoy is and how he acts with the crew is just soooo not reflected in canon. It’s a caricature instead of a character, and it’s insulting to DeForest Kelley’s amazing performance.

#hey remember that post about how sometimes we get mad about fiction even though we know it's fiction #this is me doing that #i'm sorry if it's too aggressive #i hold no negative feeling toward the person who said it or anyone who would agree!#i just think it's a real bad take

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lucystillintheskywithdiamonds · 4 years

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It was kinda irritating every rewatch of the first reboot movie how Spock Prime tells AOS!Spock that he and Kirk need each other and it’s like?? Kirk legit accused Spock of not caring about his mother, demeans his alien ancestry constantly like what type of friendship is that? I like that Spock and Kirk’s relationship isn’t as strong as it was in TOS because Spock needed to grow outside of Kirk and he shouldn’t be defined by him and I really like that aspect of the first movie

In a realistic story, Spock would request a transfer in the end ^

In the original script, there was some added dialog to the scene between Prime and young Spock where the latter is more in character because he calls him out on the absurdity of him believing that his own future must be like prime's past when, truly, they are different.

Of course, Spock prime was trying to influence him because he wanted Spock to stay in Starfleet.. and of course he didn't know him enough (irony) to know what kind of arguments could effectively work. He only knew his own life and experiences. To aos Spock, it should be a bit silly and Spock prime may come across as an old guy who lost his mind because here he is..a survivor who is debating whether his duty is helping the vulcans and this dude is telling him he should make a decision based on a future friendship he maybe will have with a guy he just met and he didn't even like for the most part. It's going to come across as out of touch and stupid, especially when even his own girlfriend probably isn't trying to influence him. What happened to Vulcan is huge, like who cares about who was your friend in your own reality. The movie doesn't have time to show how Spock made his decision but I think out the stuff Spock prime said, the most convincing argument was him saying that *he* would be the one helping the vulcans. Years later, though, Spock still has survivor guilt (beyond) and he ponders whether he needs to leave everything to help the vulcans. So in that sense, his issue wasn't truly resolved at the end of the first movie and no one but himself and his own experiences could finally give him the answers. And that is realistic.

Anyway, honestly it's one of the things that made the k/s dynamic forced for me.

On one hand, the movie subverts the 'hero gets the girl' trope by not going to the kirk/uhura route, but they still portray the main bromance with the cliché trope of 'strangers who hate each other but must magically become best friends forever because the story needs that'. All execerbated by the fact they are projecting tos on them so they basically have to be best friends only because they were in the original thing. Like, chill. There is time, let them have their own dynamic.

People have all kinds of default prejudices about romance in this genre of movies (it's misogyny. Because romance is perceived as something 'for women' thus silly and inferior because women are considered silly and inferior), and granted there definitely are a lot of stereotypes and tropes in hollywood romances..but so are the dynamics between male characters thus the male friendships. They are too affected by their own forced clichés that often are even similar to those affecting romance thus the stuff people criticize romance for.

With this trek, tptb created a new reality to be free of canon and thus give themselves the chance to develop their own stories. That was genius. That was wise. However, there was still insecurity from their part when it comes to old fans. On one hand, they wanted to do new things but on the other hand, they were anxious to reassure old fans that some things were the same and they got lazy with those aspects. K/S is one of those. My impression was only confirmed and execerbated by into darkness where everything is about Spock not getting friendship, except it has nothing to do with him being the weird, oblivious alien guy and everything to do with the fact he, realistically, might have no real reason to understand why Kirk even wants to be his friend after what had happened between them. Like, it's simply too soon. No need to blame it on Spock being dense and oblivious about friendship because he's alien when 1) he's human too 2) we know he is into a relationship with Uhura so he can't be so oblivious about everything 3) it's a canon fact that even in tos, Kirk wasn't the only friend he had. Like, Pike and his crew anyone? Discovery added a human sister too so how can you still serioustly pretend Spock needed Kirk to see the light as if he was the first and only human he ever interacted with?

It's the way their fandom treats that dynamic too, btw. The entlitlement some fans have about k/s doesn't manifest itself only when they erase Spock's relationship with Uhura because she doesn't fit with their narrative. kirk/mccoy is considered by default less important as a friendship than k/s for honestly, no reason if you were to base it on these movies alone.

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alitheamateur · 5 years

Text

Turning the Tables

Characters: Colton Ritter/Liv Elliott

Warnings: NSFW. SMUT. DIRTY, DIRTY COLTON.

Summary: We all know Liv is the lady of the when it comes to ruling under their roof. But this time, Colt just needs to see his bold, sure, Liv begging for his mercy.

A/N: THANK YOU ANON, for this awesome request. I hope you enjoy!! I typed the entire thing on my phone within a matter of hours because I was itching to write it so badly 😂

Poor girl. I nearly drowned her on our run this afternoon. Leave it to me, the asshole, to skip out on checking the weather beforehand. Three cheers for boyfriend of the year, Ritter. She was definitely not gleeful about having to sprint over a mile in return back to the house with brutal pellets of Spring ran beating into her bare shoulders. But, her little blue chattering lips once we finally reached the safe space of our dry kitchen did make me smile. Behind her back, but I smiled nonetheless.

Livvy darted straight for the downstairs shower, her soaking tank-top plopping with a splat onto the tile, making me nearly slip to my ass from the puddling rainwater. I didn’t make it to the warm confines of her scorching shower before she locked me out. Access denied. She plays this little game, putting on a dutiful face of anger & displeasure, knowing my sorry ass will kiss her holy feet to make it all better. I know, right? Who the fuck am I these days?

Hers. And that’s all I ever care about being again.

BUT, she can’t be the only one to play the games. She knows I have a pretty competitive game face myself, and I won’t let that little pouting princess have all the fun. Not tonight. The pumping thunder of the storm outside has the afternoon sky resembling more of the nighttime hours, and the dripping, goosebumps on the side of her topless breast as she bounced down the hall stirred me.

I waited for the unlatching click of the lock, and wafting steam rolled from the door when she stepped out. I’m bringing my A game. She loves these ratty as shit sweatpants from Mac’s, and I slid the bed comforter into the dryer while she was thawing under the warm spout. She loves it when I do that. Crawling into the fluff of a heated bed makes her almost purr with happiness.

“Livvy, baby? Hey, I’m in the bedroom.” I cleared my throat & pulled off my own soggy t-shirt.

She peeped around the door frame, comb lines through her golden hair. She’s cut it shoulder length against how I thought I preferred it, but I love the way it frames around her soft face.

“I’m gonna make a quick cup of coffee. Ya’ know, before I catch pneumonia.”

Damn it, her comes the snark. She’s ready to make some demands, I can tell it in her sure voice. I make up my mind fully to turn the tables. Just for tonight. I love her independent, broad mind. Truly, she keeps me in check, & I’d be fucked without her. But, I need those lips to beg me tonight.

I had a few extra minutes to spare, and I needed to really send her reeling.

Do some push-ups or something Ritter, get a sweat going. Fuck no, you prick. Don’t be that meathead douche.

Think. Think.

I felt myself get hard with the anticipation of her & what I intended to come, so I used it to my advantage. Bouncing quickly from under the covers, I ran towards to kitchen. She stood at a gentle lean against the counter, her back towards me watching the drips of her French vanilla blend fall into her favorite mug. I loved the way she fit so petite into the span of my arms, so I tip-toed stealthily to encase her. Making a point to lean into her with my excited lap first.

She tried to chew her lip & stifle the little squeak of arouse it caused her, but I saw her curved lashes close over her dangerous green eyes in the reflection of the steel toaster on the counter. I was winning already.

“Head to the bedroom, baby. I got the bed all warm. I’ll grab your cup & the green candle that nearly chokes me from the coffee table. I know how much you like it.”

The key was making her think she was dealing with apologetic, cowering Colton. But, he was only a disguise for the mischievous bear waiting to make an entrance. How many times has this girl had me on my knees? Most times, I caused the groveling so I’ll own those fucking colossal mistakes. However, I’ve lost count on the occasions I could’ve cried when I was between her heavenly legs.

Liv’s body shuddered & I could hear her thick swallow as I was curved into her neck. I made it no point any longer to try & hide the long inhales I took of her flowery smell. She knew it was my favorite, most familiar sense of home.

I wrapped my scarred knuckles playfully around her loose hair, and kissed the silken patch of skin behind her ear before she dismissed herself.

All requirements in tow after the final sputters of coffee poured from the pot, I marched to her. Her painted toes were buried under the heavy bedsheets, her neck covered to the chin like an Eskimo. I heard the key up of Pretty Woman on the t.v., and my manly ego nearly regurgitated. But, I didn’t have any intentions to let her watch much of the film for the 42nd time regardless.

“Got any room for me under there?” I ran my hand through my damp hair and purposely adjusted the loose waistband of my sagging sweats to kidnap her attention.

“What’s in it for me?”

Oh, honey. You got no idea what’s about to unfold.

“You know there’s nothing warmer than me, baby. C’mon now. I’m sorry about the rain! It’s my fault. I’ll be more careful next time.”

Way to stand your ground, Ritter. We see who’s in control here.

She tossed back the spread on my side of our California king, and pat the wrinkled lines of her indention in the mattress. With no time, or patience, to waste I climbed in beside her & immediately reached for the cotton tightness of her leggings. Discarding the unwanted clothing to the foot of the bed, I smiled darkly not hiding those demons behind my eyes. Sometimes they came in handy.

I licked over my lips, coating them generously, before I latched onto the skin where her thighs met her warm sex. Liv’s back arched off the bed like a woman carnally possessed at the sensation of my teeth sucking into her flesh. She knew I was needy when it came to the taste of her on my mouth.

I wanted to play her slow, in a way that forced her body to spiral & clutter with need. So, I pulled back to allow her sexually spasming muscles to find relief. Kissing my way up the bone of her pelvis, to the tiny dip of her belly button, then wallowing my head under the oversized fit of her t-shirt to ghost the tiniest tip of my tongue between the valley of her heavy breasts. Her whispering exhales teetered the line of a moan, and I felt her heartbeat dancing inside her chest.

“How about a nap, 2-1? I’m pretty beat.”

My lovers every inch froze. Every feathering touch of my lips had ignited her with gallons of gasoline, and the wildfire couldn’t be stopped. I could tell she was blindsided by my unsubtle shift in direction exactly the way I wanted.

“Wait a minute,” she needfully whined. Her voice lifted an octave & it painted over me like a cold paintbrush, causing prickles all over my skin.

“What’s that, baby?”

“I’m... I’m not ready for a nap yet, Colt...”

Let the games begin.

“Well what is it my girl needs then, huh? What are you ready for? Wanna finish the movie first?”

Her limbs squirmed nervously, wrestling with the words she wanted to say. But, I could see traces of pride on her face. Would she break that easily?

“Yeah. Exactly! I just wanna finish the movie. That’s all.”

Fuck. She won’t break that easy, you bastard.

I resentfully took my place next to her on the cool pillow, and opened the bend of my arm for her to nuzzle into as the movie played in the background. I traveled to the deepest cavern of my mind for any weapons of mass eruption I could use against her valiant efforts of resistance. With one arm bent behind me against the headboard and my thoughts at war, I fretted internally. She always liked her hair twirled around my finger before she fell asleep, so I trusted the usually successful tactic.

Still, no reaction on her stoic face as she gazed & giggled at Julia Roberts on our bedroom flatscreen.

Trying to focus so intently on all the ways I could break down her wall, I instead trailed off on the countless ways she drove me utterly insane with her feminine antics, once again the ripple effect landing between my legs. I’d bust if she didn’t cave into me sooner rather than later.

Lowering deeper into the soft bed, I rolled onto my side dangerously near the opening of her ear. My hands & mouth danced in unison, one on the point of her pert nipple, the other lapping on her lobe. I heard her fingers scrapping against the thread of white sheets, and her toes curled.

“Does my pretty baby like that, huh?” My gravely questions seemed to inject directly into her veins like vicious poison.

“Does my Livvy girl like the way that feels?”

I was never, ever a man of poetic manner, but I knew it meant worlds to her when I made some conscious effort to try & use my words like a actual adult. Even if it meant using them to my full advantage in the most salacious of ways.

She never answered my questions, not even so much as opened her sealed eyes. But I planned to break her silence.

I walked two fingers, one in front of the other like the ‘itsy-bitsy spider’ south toward her seeping center. Intruding with my pointer finger inside the band of her laced-trimmed panties, Liv licked over her dry, panting mouth. I could feel the pooling of her pleasure between her velvet folds, and I slid gentle circles around the bundle of sensitive nerves. Sweaty beads of gleaming sweat gathered on her forehead, the perfect bones of her cheeks puffed with red the more I toyed with her release, but she still remained collected.

I escaped from the glossy squeeze between her thighs & winked to her as she laid on her back in disbelief. The lick of her wetness from my finger may have struck her every desire, but it was actually more of a treat for myself rather than her.

“What do you think you’re doing, Ritter?” She elevated on the point of her elbows, her lids heavy with lust.

“I’m disturbing your movie. My bad, babe. I’ll behave. I really am sorry. Unless....”

The static electricity from the pillow case flowed through her hair as she waited for my offer to fall on the table.

“.......unless?”

“Unless you want me to get down there & suck out every last little drop of sweetness you’re keeping from me between those gorgeous legs.”

Her eyes took the shape of glassy marbles. My girls shyness with my sailor mouth never got old.

A storm brewed inside her, and she couldn’t deny how bad she wanted me if she tried. But I’d make her say it. I’d make her grovel just this once.

Giving her ample time to make her final decision, she never uttered a sound. So, I climbed from beneath the bubble of warmth under the blankets and dismissed myself.

“Imma grab a shower, then maybe I can head out & grab a bite for us if you want.”

Liv leaped with the speed of a lioness on attack to protect her young to stop my escape.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” She treated & swiftly pulled off the cover of her t-shirt.

“What’s that? I have no idea what you mean, baby...”

With one gracious motion she stood up shaking loose her hair, her round tits shaking with the aftershock. Her fight training had definitely fallen to her advantage as she took my broad arm in the lock of a submission move, weakening my knees and sending me to the floor.

“You know what, you clever little bastard. Finish what you started, Ritter.”

There was fury in her voice, and power in the fist she knotted into the hair on top of my head. Here I was again, bending the knee to worship her perfectly curved body.

“Beg.” I boldly protested against her sharp demands.

She knew it’s what I wanted. The entire time she could see it’s what I was working for.

I kissed her lips once more, lingering a bit just for the taste, then backed away to look upward at her.

“Let’s hear it, baby. I know how bad you need it. It’s dripping down my chin, in fact.”

“Please.”

Step one.

“Please what, Livvy. I’m ready & willin’, baby. Just ask.”

“Please... you know...”

Step two.

Her polite little mouth just couldn’t allow the words release. I eyeballed her, batting my eyes in genuine laughter at the way she kept such a shy demeanor when it came to our sex life. Even considering the many ways we had tarnished nearly every service within a 10-mile radius.

“Damn it, Colt! Make me come already! Please! Make me come!!”

It was an angry, resentful, desperate cry, but immediately my every pulsating cell exploded. My pupils swelled with evil satisfaction at the feeling of her needing me in such a raw way. Immediately, a victim to my lack of self control, I pummeled my face to her core. I wanted to shower in the hot, sugary sensation of all things Liv. She laughed out loud, resembling a twisted woman controlled by the darkness of her lusts. My thumbs pushed into her thighs in effort to keep her wobbly legs standing, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before a bright pink blush would rash all over her body with the arrival of her orgasm.

“More, Colton! Just one more minute. I’m begging you. Don’t stop!”

Pushing into her entrance with a widened tongue, seconds later my beautiful Livvy’s screams bounced from wall to wall in the tranquil privacy of our little house on the corner. And as for me, I spent the rest of our stormy, Spring afternoon groveling for her mercy.

Tags: @torialeysha @eap1935 @littleluna98 @mollybegger-blog

#tom hardy imagine #tomhardyfanfiction #tomhardyfanfic #tomhardy #tom hardy #tom hardy fanfiction #ask #reader request

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snarky-sims-witch · 5 years

Photo

TOS

You must credit me and link back to this post if you repost this challenge anywhere or write another version based on mine. Thank you!

Objective

You must raise a Sim from a baby to a young adult and max out all five character values without ever taking control of the child. It is solely the responsibility of the parents to guide the child’s character values. The parents will need to raise the Parenting skill in order to influence their child to perform character-building actions and scold/punish them appropriately for doing things that lower character values.

Getting Started

Create two young adult Sims in CAS. The gender customization and occult type of these Sims do not matter. These Sims can have any appearance, walk style, voice, traits, and aspirations you want. You may choose to make these Sims married in CAS or not, it’s entirely up to you. You may use CC on your Sims. You may use Sims from the Gallery as long as they are both young adults.

You may use the in-game personality quiz to determine your Sims’ careers, traits, skills, and starting funds if you like. You may also opt out of this option if you prefer.

If Cats & Dogs is installed, you can add pets to the household, but you may want to limit it to one or two. Your Sims should be primarily focused on their child during the challenge.

Move your household into any lot in any world that they can afford. These can be premade Maxis homes, a house you built yourself, or a house downloaded from the Gallery as long as your Sims can afford it with their starting funds.

Once your household is moved in and set up the way you like, you must add a baby to the household either through pregnancy or adoption. The gender of the baby does not matter. Babies cannot gain character values, but the time spent caring for the baby will help your parent Sims get a head start on their Parenting skill. If you opt to add a child to the home through pregnancy, reading Parenting books during the pregnancy will give your parent Sims additional time to build the Parenting skill.

Challenge Rules

Game Settings and Third Party Content

Lifespans must be set to Normal with aging turned on for your active household.

Mods that give you an unfair advantage over other players are not allowed. This is left up to your own judgment, but to give an example, a mod that adds snow or fall colours to your game is fine because it’s a cosmetic change that does not affect gameplay. A mod that gives all beds max energy gain or any other mod that makes it easier to manage your Sims’ emotions and motives is not allowed because these mods make the game easier for you. Mods that give you more money in any way, shape, or form are not allowed, either.

CC that does not affect gameplay is allowed.

Cheats and Game Restarts

NO CHEATING! Unless otherwise stated in this section, all cheats are strictly prohibited. No money cheats. No motive cheats. No emotion cheats. No character value cheats. No cheats that affect school or career performance in any way. No. Cheating. Period.

The bb.moveobjects on cheat may be used for creative building purposes.

The resetsim cheat may be used ONLY when your Sim is stuck or otherwise glitched in a manner which makes you unable to control them. You cannot use it whenever your Sim does something you don’t like.

No restarting the game to bypass unfortunate events. Your Sim died in a fire while cooking? Lost their job? Got eaten by a cowplant? Oh well, too bad. Roll with the punches and continue.

In the case of glitches or other technical issues that cause you to lose significant progress, you may use whatever cheats and mods necessary to get back to where you were before you lost your data.

Birthdays and Aging

Your Sims’ baby cannot be aged up until you get a notification saying that today is their birthday.

No Sims in your household can be aged up until it is their birthday.

Pets cannot be fed age up or age down treats. They must be allowed to age naturally just like your Sims.

You cannot resurrect dead Sims or pets. You cannot invite ghosts into the household. Once a Sim or a pet is gone, they’re gone.

You must randomise the traits and aspirations of the child as they grow up. I recommend Pinstar’s Random Trait Generatorbecause the child has a chance of inheriting the traits of their parents, but createarandomsim.com is fine to use as well.

Live Mode

Your parent Sims can make money however you choose in order to provide for their child. They can stay at home and make money from one of the skills or they can get a job from the phone. You may delegate child raising duties as you wish. One Sim can stay home to care for the child while the other Sim works or they can both work or both stay home. The parenting dynamic is up to you.

You may NEVER control the child. The child must rely solely on their parents to nurture their character values and needs. You may click on the child to look at their information but you can never assign any tasks to the child or cancel any of their actions. If you want the child to do something, you must influence them to do it through a parent.

Your Sims are free to do whatever you want with their lives as long as you are not controlling the child. Other than raising the child’s character values without controlling the child, the rest of the challenge is very open-ended.

Other Add-On Packs

You may use any features and objects that come with any other add-on packs you have installed. I expect this rule to remain the same for all future packs but if it changes, it will be clarified in this section.

Your child can do any activity from any add-on pack that affects character values as long as you are not directing them to do these activities. For example, they can take care of pets (Cats & Dogs) and do laundry (Laundry Day Stuff) to raise the Responsibility value, but only if it’s done autonomously or if they’ve been asked to do it by a parent.

NPCs

You may hire any NPCs your Sims may want or need, including the nanny and butler (from Vintage Glamour).

Completing the Challenge

The challenge ends as soon as the baby grows into a young adult.

If you played using the point system, refer to the points section to see how well your parent Sims did with raising their child. Every positive character value trait adds points while every negative character value trait deducts points. There are other ways to gain or lose points as well.

If you did not play using a point system, just raising a child from a baby to a young adult without any negative character value traits is technically a win, but you did well if the child has grown up with at least 3 positive character value traits.

You fail the challenge if your child dies before their young adult birthday or if they are taken away by social services.

You fail the challenge if you controlled the child even once during the challenge, even accidentally.

You fail the challenge if the child grows up with all five negative character value traits.

Point System

Playing for points is completely optional. Disregard the point system entirely if that makes the challenge more fun for you.

TOTAL: 100 points

+10 points for every positive character value trait gained at young adulthood +10 points for gaining the Top-Notch Toddler trait at childhood * +5 points for gaining the Happy Toddler trait at childhood * +1 point for each childhood aspiration completed +1 point for each childhood skill maxed out +10 points for finishing elementary school with an A grade +10 points for finishing high school with an A grade +5 points for each parent that maxes out the Parenting skill +1 point for each parent that is Good Friends or BFFs with their child at young adulthood

-10 points for every negative character value trait gained at young adulthood -10 points for a D or lower grade in elementary school -10 points for a D or lower grade in high school -1 point for each parent that gains a negative relationship title with their child at young adulthood -1 point for every tantrum/emotional outburst -1 point every time the child resists discipline or influence -5 points every time you get a warning about your child being taken away

* These points do not stack. You do not get 15 points if you got the Top-Notch Toddler trait. It’s one or the other.

Handicaps

Handicaps are disadvantages that make the challenge harder. You can play with all of these handicaps, only some of them, or none at all. Playing with a handicap gives you point boosts, however, so there is a reward for making things harder on yourself. Depending on how well you play the challenge with these handicaps, it’s possible to finish with more than 100 points.

Play with a single parent household (15 points) Play with more than one child that you do not control (*2 points per extra child) Play without either parent working in a traditional career (5 points) Play with pets (2 points per pet) Play without using satisfaction rewards (5 points)

* Any extra children only provide the 2-point handicap boost. They cannot earn points for the rest of the challenge but must remain uncontrollable, just like your main child.

If you’re a fan of my stories, challenges, and ad-free custom content, please consider donating a little something to my coffee fund. Creating Sims content takes up a large amount of my time every day and I love doing it, so even just a small amount goes a long way to helping me continue with this.

#simblr #ts4 #the sims 4 #the sims 4 challenges #sims 4 challenges #parenthood challenge #original parenthood challenge #official parenthood challenge #mychallenges

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glynwarrensarchive · 5 years

Text

AVRIEL LORLAMIR GLYNWARREN - CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONNAIRE

BASICS -

1. Height?

Avi is 6’1.

2. Eye colour?

Brown.

3. Do they need glasses?

No.

4. Scars and birthmark?

He has permanent Lichtenberg figure scars climbing up his left hand and forearm that glow when his powers take effect. He also adorns a large scar across his chest from a previous battle, and lots of smaller scars on his arms and legs from regular mishaps on the farm. He has a brown birthmark on his shoulder blade that’s the size of a golf ball.

5. Tattoos and piercings?

None.

6. Right or left handed?

Right-handed.

7. Any disabilities? Physical or mental.

None at the moment.

8. Do they have any allergies?

Cottonwood pollen gives him seasonal allergies, though they were really only common in his village and aren’t found everywhere. He hasn’t discovered any allergies in Hegaehend’s environment.

9. Favourite colour?

Forest green.

10. Typical outfits?

Avi has terrible fashion sense, and still wears his farm clothes on off days. Most of his shirts have stains or tears. When he’s on-duty or in battle, his fashion sense is only slightly better. He wears elven chain with dark clothes and a simple cloak with a hood. His most high-quality item is always his shoes, of which he has two pairs. One is a steel-toed pair of work boots, and the others are impressive, longer, and light-weight leather boots that he wears in battle.

11. Do they wear any makeup?

No.

12. What weapon do they use, if any?

With one hand usually wielding his arcane focus (a homemade wand), Avi uses his other hand to hold either a shield or a battleaxe. He also has two daggers on him.

PERSONALITY -

13. Are they more optimistic or pessimistic?

Avriel is terribly optimistic. It’s not naivety, per say, but rather a stubborn refusal to accept that some things just aren’t possible. He believes in miracles, but mostly he believes that if he works hard and is brave, the world will reward him. He believes good things will come to him because he strives for them, and he believes he can make the world a better place. That, in itself, is optimistic.

14. Are they introverted or extroverted?

He is extremely extroverted. He loves talking to strangers, loves making friends, and he’s incredibly good at both.

15. What are their pet peeves?

Materialism, people who have the means to help others but don’t, bragging, closed-minded people, badly crafted vehicles and roofs, people who neglect their animals, when his nails get too long, geese.

16. What bad habits do they have?

He does everything loudly: yawning, chewing, talking. He bites his nails. He wipes his mouth with his sleeve and puts his elbows on tables. He tries extremely hard to be liked. He works himself half to death. He has a self-doubt so deep that he overcompensates with false confidence and claims that he’s invincible, when in reality he’s just not terribly afraid of injury or death.

17. Do they have any phobias?

Avriel is claustrophobic, and though he has no traceable reason for this fear he has panic attacks when faced with small and enclosed spaces.

18. How do they display affection?

Avi is very casually physically affectionate with those he cares about. He loves hugs, but more often than hugging he doles out shoulder-squeezes and hair tussles. He also believes strongly in acts of service. Rather than telling people directly how he feels, because it can be difficult for him to articulate his own emotions, he’ll do something practical to help his loved ones. That, or he’ll gift them something small but thoughtful, like the pigments his mother used to bring him from her travels.

19. How competitive are they?

He’s mostly competitive with himself. He doesn’t do much of anything to prove anything to anyone else, or to try and be better than anyone else. However, he’s always competing against his own image of himself and trying to improve in a way that’s often detrimental.

20. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

He’d make himself more powerful, more capable so it could be easier to make big changes quickly.

21. Do they have any obscure hobbies or routines?

Avi loves to paint, and is pretty good at it. He often paints little poems or sayings in the corners of his paintings to add a bit of a story to them. He also likes to whittle, and though he’s not great at it and has acquired a few scars, it’s a great way to fill his mornings and downtimes.

He still wakes at the crack of dawn no matter what. Without animals or crops to tend to, however, most of his mornings are freed up, so he spends that time wandering the streets and watching the sunset if he doesn’t have to report to his general.

BACKSTORY -

22. What are the names and ages of their close family members? Parents, siblings, etc.

Orion and Immra Glynwarren are 62 and 60 years old respectively. His brother, Efrain, is 37.

23. Is their family alive and are they still in contact with them?

Avi’s parents are alive and well, and he is in contact with them often. His parents remain supportive even though he’s sure they question the path he’s taken and worry about him a fair bit. He stays with his brother every time he’s in Khaggon. They’ve only known each other a couple of months but are very much in contact.

24. Where are they from? City, nation?

He is from a small, tight-knit farming village in Anari named Corduff.

25. Did they have a childhood best friend?

Avi’s best friend growing up and to this day is a halfling named Quoric who he met in grade school. Quoric ended up working for Avriel on his farm as they got older, and is one of the most brutally honest people he has in his life. Avi had a lot of great friendships in his village, and quite honestly was a prized member of the community, but Quoric has always been the most loyal and genuine.

26. Have they had any pets?

Plenty. He loves animals, and would have given his life to save his. He owned all sorts of farm animals for the purpose of selling their product, but he genuinely cared for them and treated them well. He also had several cats and a cattle dog at the time he left Anari, but wasn’t able to bring any of them along. Currently, his parents have an Irish Wolfhound named Ehno and he, of course, acts as though his brother’s cat Weasel is his.

27. Did they grow up rich or poor? What were their living conditions like?

Avriel grew up in a very small home that his father made beautiful, not necessarily with monetary things but with art and craftsmanship. When he was young, Avi aware that he was poor, because he never went hungry and he always had a roof over his head. However, he realized at a fairly young age that his parents spent all their time and energy on providing for him and had no time for anything else, so he became a farmhand to help them. After inheriting the farm around age eighteen, Avi made a modest profit from his land and lived more comfortably than he had growing up. He was never rich, but he made a name for himself as a great farmer and had enough to provide for his parents and his employees.

28. What is their educational background?

Avi went to grade school, and then was homeschooled by his father for three years, and then got much too busy with work.

29. As a child, what did they want to be when they grew up?

He once heard a story about a knight who single handedly freed all the slaves in a kingdom through cunning and wit and bravery, and that was all he wanted to be. Not just a knight, but a hero - cunning and witty and brave. Realistically, though, he settled on being a farmer.

30. What advice would they give to their younger self?

He would tell himself to never limit himself to the confines of normality. Just because the average person in his town was a farmer didn’t mean he had to be a farmer. Normal works just fine for most people, but he’d tell himself not to strive to be like most people.

31. Growing up, were they ever bullied or were they the bully?

Neither, really. Socially, Avriel had a very easy time as a child.

32. Who do they look up to/who is their role model?

His mother, for her bravery and adventurous nature and his father, for his idealism and kindness.

PRESENT -

33. Do they currently have a place of residence?

He has a room at the Crayhorn Estate, but travels often with Rolland’s army.

34. What is their most treasured possession?

He travels with the painting his father made him for his last birthday. It’s a scene of a phoenix flying above farmland. When he travels back home and has a more permanent place of residency in Khaggon, he plans to bring more of the painting his father made with him. He has one from every birthday since his first.

35. What is their drink of choice?

Whiskey.

36. Which king/queen are they loyal to, if any?

Right now his loyalty lies with King Rolland because he seems to need his help the most, though Queen Kaylynn will always have a piece of his loyalty.

37. Have they ever killed anyone?

Yes, but only recently after joining the army. Though he feels some guilt, he knows the people he kills have ill-will for him and everything he stands for, and he knows he stands for good. That being said, no good person can rest easily having seen someone die by their hand, so he prays to make himself feel better.

38. What was their last promise and did they keep it?

His last promise, and the promise he’s been giving to his parents since he left a year ago, was that he will return safely someday with stories that will make them proud. It’s too soon to say if he’s kept it or not, but he’s entirely convinced that he will and already has plans of visiting.

LOVE -

39. What was their first kiss like, if they’ve had one?

When he was fifteen, Avriel had his first kiss with a village girl under a cottonwood tree. He sneezed in her face afterward. They continued to date for months. The entire relationship was awkward and uncomfortable.

40. Are they in a relationship/have a love interest?

Avriel is single, and mingling. Currently, he’s getting to know Thea’s brother, Ewin.

41. Have they ever been in love?

Avi has never been in love, but he certainly thought he was. And, truly, he loved Ione - he still does. He knows the deepest parts of her and accepts every part. Avi didn’t know that platonic love could be that raw and consuming because no one had ever told him it could. He was told fanciful stories of true loves and soulmates and meant-to-bes, but he was never told stories of finding home in someone who you were not in love with, but who meant just as much to you. So while he’s never been in love in the way most people mean it when they ask, he’s never really missed the feeling.

42. Have they ever had their heart broken?

Yes, but not by somebody else. Avriel broke his own heart. He’s heartbroken over leaving Ione, over taking her for granted. He regrets always wanting something more and feeling loss because the romance wasn’t there, never fully appreciating that she was his comfort and his home. He left her to better the world - for the greater good - but he knows he broke her heart and that breaks his. He wishes he could turn back time and stop himself from trying so hard to force their love to be something from a fairytale. He wishes he’d never tried to convince her that he was someone she could settle down and have a family with.

SPIRITUALITY -

43. Do they follow a god, if so who?

Avi follows Melora, the goddess of the wilderness and the sea. His mother is a ranger, and Melora always keeps her safe. Because of the wilderness of his powers and the storms that fester around him, he prays for her to keep him safe, too. Though she’s the only god he follows, he believes all gods have validity and is interested to learn more about others’ religions.

44. What do they think happens to them after death?

He believes he will return to nature, become dirt in the ground and renew everything that has renewed him. He doesn’t really wish for consciousness after death, and is comfortable with the finality of it if he’s achieved everything he set out to achieve and can return to nature after it’s all said and done.

45. What is their spirit animal?

A lion.

#romtask #romtask 001 #abt #about #( i know i didn't do one for kit yet im trash i just needed to get in his headspace a bit and this helped me get to know him a lot )

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