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insertdisc5 · 9 months

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Devlog #16: Answers and Questions

Hello everyone! Welcome to this month’s devlog!

If you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I’m the developer, writer, artist, main programmer, etc of the game. The game being In Stars and Time, a timeloop RPG, which is also the next and final game in the START AGAIN series, following START AGAIN: a prologue (available here!). You can find out more about In Stars and Time here!!!

LET’S GET TO IT. This month is Q&A: Cohost edition!

“A Q&A again?” Heheh well I don’t have anything to talk about this month ✨ We’re working hard on finalizing the localization! And on porting to consoles! And on secret stuff! You know, the usual!!! Get excited!!! So, Q&A again 💖 And see, I asked questions for Q&As on Twitter. On Tumblr. On Discord. But some new social media platforms have entered the fray. SO.

Welcome to Q&A: Cohost edition. (Follow me on cohost and/or read this post I wrote about why I think cohost is neat teehee) (and follow me on bluesky if you want. I like it way less though. Sorry bluesky)

@ItsMeLilyV asks:

One of the bits of advice that gets tossed around by indie devs is to avoid making RPGs, especially for your first few games, because they tend to be large in scope, difficult to prototype, and easy to underestimate.

Was this ever a fear for you in making START AGAIN, or In Stars and Time? Did you take any special precaution to keep these games within a scope you could handle, and did you learn tricks from START AGAIN that carried over to ISAT when in came to keeping things manageable? Thank you!! ✨

I had no idea that was a piece of advice given, but yep, that makes a lot of sense! Since I didn’t know, I went in blissfully aware, teehee.

I will say that I am familiar with working on big projects from working on comics, and with seeing big webcomic artists always mention to never start with your magnum opus… And I could tell ISAT had the potential to be way bigger than I imagined, which is why I decided to start with creating the prologue to get used to RPGMaker as well as making games. Kind of a pilot of sorts!

Again, thanks to comics, I know to keep my scope pretty small, because even if you keep it small it WILL balloon into something way bigger than you thought. Just for the prologue, I imagined it’d be a 20mn game, and it’s easily a 2-3h one! Keep your scope small!!!

As for tricks, when I catch myself thinking “wow what if I added this cool thing”, I try to always keep in mind those two things: 1. How long will it take to implement (including bug testing), and 2. Does it add something important to the game. I know we always want to add a fishing game, or a fun minigame, but do you Need It. Does it add something substantial to the story, to the Themes. Or are you just adding it because you like fishing games. Which is a valid reason, but also, maybe just make a fishing game instead. You are not the Yakuza series!!!! You are a small indie gamedev!!!! Think about you in 4 months who has to fix all the fishing game bugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@stem asks:

how is it to have a piece of art that's basically done (as far as i understand) that you can't share yet? like how do you personally bide the time until it's finally ready to release, or is it not really a challenge to wait? :0c

It’s so weird!!! The game has been done for so long!!! I’m very glad I asked some friends to playtest the game, so I could at least get some feedback before the game is out… In some ways it feels like the game will be done twice: once back when I finished making the game, and once when the game actually comes out. It’s just a very strange experience. Sometimes people tell me they’re excited to find out more about this story beat, or about this character, and a part of me is like… Wait, haven't you played the game? Oh, yeah, it’s not actually out. Guess you’ll find out later.

EDIT: My god. I just checked on my private devlog for when I completed the Alpha of ISAT. It was in August of last year (I lay down on the floor and look at the ceiling) (I still had to finish all the illustrations so really the game was Done Donezo in October but still…)

anon asked:

What role did Armor Games play in creating the final product?

SO MANY THINGS. Here are some of them: support when it comes to porting/marketing/social media/localization, feedback on the game and how to make it better, community guidance, testing support, QA/internal testing… The game couldn’t be the way it is without them.

For more small details, I have a weekly meeting with my producer, Dora! We talk about the game and how everything is going. A couple months back, I also was checking in with the internal QA team fairly often to fix any remaining bugs. They also helped me find ISAT’s additional programmer, Isabella, and she is a godsend because coding is hard. They also take care of communicating with press, finding more opportunities to showcase the game in conventions, talking with the localization/porting teams… I am probably forgetting a thousand little things they did to help out!!! THEY’RE SO GOOD OK

Anon asked:

So obviously the skills/spells/what have you are based off of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Did you design each "type" to be like a certain style? Rock being heavy damage and defense buffs, scissors being speed and quick attacks, like that?

Absolutely! I just went with the obvious. Rock is physical damage, defense focused, Scissors is swords, attack focused, and Paper is magic, mind focused. It was fun to develop a spell system around those! I’m excited for people to find out more about Craft…

@nickshutter asks:

I really loved START AGAIN (streamed it for a small handful of friends) and was super happy to hear about a follow-up! The cast is so much fun and their personalities are really well-balanced—did any of the characters change pretty drastically from their initial conception during development of the game?

I’m so glad you streamed it with friends… I hope you had a good fun time…

And for sure! Isabeau and Mirabelle were pretty set from the get go (himbo and shy wallflower), but Odile started as more of a gentle teacher type, even if I very quickly went the snarky old lady route. Siffrin and Bonnie were harder to pin down– I wasn’t sure how to portray Siffrin’s despair in the prologue, and started showing them more overtly depressed, but I thought it’d be Very Yummy to have them show a happy facade to their friends. And then, for ISAT, I had to figure out what a non-depressed Siffrin would be like, for the first couple acts of the game before the despair sets in. As for Bonnie, I had a lot of trouble figuring out what they’d be like, what kind of kid they were, what their relationship with everyone else would be like, and then I thought about what their past would be like and then their characterization was set in stone. Sometimes you need to figure out One Thing to unlock a character’s brain. I’m very excited for everyone to find out more about each character in ISAT!

@SuperBiasedGary asks:

What games (or other media) lit a fire under you to create your own?

It could be stuff you liked so much it inspired, something you found frustrating because you felt an itch to do it differently, or something that made you realise humans make things and you could be one of them.

I found a lot of indie games inspiring, but I think Umineko might’ve been the one that made me go… Oh, anyone can just make a massive video game narrative. And you can make it very simple, with kinda goofy sprites, and still manage to make an incredibly touching story!

As for frustrating games that lit a fire under me, I think I’d say in general, I found issue with the classic trope of the “main character helps people and doesn’t get anything back”. What often happens in some games is that you help NPCs with their problems, sometimes helping them with very intense, complicated problems! For a very long time! And, in exchange, you get… A cool item? A nice new skill? And that’s it?

I know this might be complicated to implement on a narrative perspective, but I remember playing Persona 5, and your character just went through a very harrowing experience (like, oh, being INTERROGATED AND TORTURED BY THE POLICE) and you help your friends during social links, and they go “thanks for your help! Bye~” like WHAT ABOUT ME. WHAT ABOUT MY PROBLEMS. CAN YOU GIVE ME A HUG

So on a certain level, I wanted a game where instead of the characters around you having problems, the main character also has problems. And is subconsciously screaming “CAN YOU PLEASE NOTICE I HAVE PROBLEMS AND GIVE ME A HUG.” And hopefully, the characters notice. Winks

Hm. I do want to say I wrote most of the prologue/ISAT during the pandemic, and I felt very lonely and not supported. But then guess what. I told my friends about how I felt. And most of them told me they had no idea, and vowed to support me more. And now I’m closer to them. So the moral of this answer is, yeah, it’d be nice if people noticed, but also, you need to tell people when you’re feeling bad. LOOKS AT SIFFRIN

Anon asked:

Is there a song you listen to in order to put yourself in the sasasa/ISAT mindset?

I have a whole playlist baybee. Before you ask: there aren’t any hidden meanings behind those song choices. It’s about the Mood, and also my personal tastes in music I listen to when I need to concentrate. I like songs that go WUB WUB

In no particular order, here are five random songs I played on repeat when making the prologue:

Future Club (Arcade Version) by Perturbator (in bold because this was THE song I listened to on repeat. I believe I gave it to Lindar for inspiration lol)

Arcades by C2C

Wake Me Up by Para One

The First Wish by DROELOE

Les Enfants du Paradis by World’s End Girlfriend

And here are five random songs I played on repeat for In Stars and Time:

Down by Chloe x Halle

Nonsense Bungaku by Eve

Non-Breathe Oblige by PinocchioP

Gentle Heart by Jamie Paige

Ready For The Floor by Hot Chip

It’s interesting, the songs I listened to for the prologue are generally more heavy and frenetic, while the ones for ISAT are more hopeful… I made sure to listen to more lively songs for ISAT, since that’s the feeling I wanted to give off…

That’s all the questions I have! In other, non related ISAT news, I have started a new project and having a lot of fun. It’s a visual novel this time. I’m hoping to get some screenshots ready in the next few months, but also I’m taking it easy on this one. If it takes years with many breaks in between to get it done, it’s fine. What matters to me right now is the process!

That’s all I have to say for today! Let me know if you have any questions, or if there’s any aspect of the game development struggle you’d like me to talk about! See you next time!!!

AND DON’T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ON STEAM ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THAT’S THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!

#in stars and time #start again start again start again #devlog #game dev #game development #indie game #indie dev #indie games #timeloop

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virgo-mess · 4 months

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Kidnapper for Hire

Hey! I hope you all had a very merry Christmas and/ or holiday season. Our party is always on Christmas Eve, so I may have spent the entire day working on the first part of this Cash x Reader fic.... I worked on bits of chapter eight of Silver Thread and the first part of Silver Bells, too, I promise. It's just that I started this and literally couldn't stop. It's slightly darker than any of my other current stories, especially this first part... there's literal murder. All that aside, I don't think the rest of the fic will be nearly this heavy. I haven't got everything as mapped out, but I really wanted to get this out there for my Cash obsessed mutuals! I hope you enjoy it. Consider it a slightly late Christmas present!!!!

Kidnapper for Hire

Chapter 1: I Really Did Adore Your Outfit

Cash x Reader

TW: Murder, Stalking, Abduction, Cash lowkey becoming obsessed with you, Cash acting all causal about kidnapping you and firting with you while he's doing it, he also broke into your house several times before he kidnapped you and Masturbated over your bed when you were gone at least once...

Cash’s Pov

Cash sighed, setting down his empty coffee cup, he’d get another one soon. You’d be leaving the museum to head down to the local café to grab a sandwich and a cup of coffee for lunch. The same way you had been doing for the past two weeks he’d been silently observing you from afar. He’d been scoping you out for a job, aimlessly jotting down notes in his truck about your daily activities, the people you interacted with, and the places you frequented. Cash didn’t normally take this long to get a job done, especially not one with such a big payout but something about it, and you didn’t seem right. He had yet to figure out why someone as mundane and normal, seeming as you had earned such a price on your head. The more he watched you, the more questions he had for the man that hired him. Usually, he wouldn’t mind being hired on a need-to-know basis. In fact, he usually preferred those types of jobs, the ones that didn’t involve having a moral compass, drug deals were his normal prerogative, they didn’t involve getting up close and personal with anyone. You just grab the drugs, hand them off, and get your pockets lined with a substantial sum for putting your badge on the line. Cash didn’t care too much about the badge these days, the only thing it was useful for was getting background checks on all his potential hires and associates and ensuring everything he and Glen did stayed under the precincts radar.

It was only recently that he felt confident enough to stray towards the more personal types of jobs, the ones where you may get your hands dirty. Unfortunately for you, you would be his first victim, the man who hired him assured him you weren’t going to die, Cash knew better but the prospect of a 600,000.00 payday was too tempting to pass up. He had tried to get a feel on the guy, ran his normal background check but all that turned up for James Reginald Green was a couple of class act lawsuits and indictments. Nothing particularly unusual for a big-time investor that owned a chain of hotels, most of the lawsuits were work discrimination based, also not surprising for a man that came from old money. Cash could overlook this character flaw seen as James Green had an approximate net worth of 400 million. Still, Cash was a bit weary of accepting his offer and asked if he could scope you out for a bit before considering. James assured him you would be an easy job as he gave him your new address, noting that you had moved all the way to Cape May, New Jersey. Quite a jaunt from San Francisco but Cash didn’t feel equipped to question it since James came all the way to Boston to find him. Cash made the six-hour drive down to Cape May and caught sight of you heading off to work one morning, finding James hadn’t been lying about it being an easy job. You kept to yourself save for a few coworkers, you didn’t seem to have a night life, any relatives, and had a total of two people Cash would consider your friends and even that was a stretch. Cash accepted the job and James set him up in a nice rental property after he told him it may be a while because he wanted to make sure he got the job done right. It wasn’t a total lie; he would need to lay low for a bit after fetching you before he brought you up to Boston. But he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t also because you piqued his curiosity, he wanted to know what you’d done to have a millionaire searching the country for you.

Cash couldn’t deny you were really quite beautiful, it was the first thing he noticed about you that morning. You had emerged from your cottage in a very teasing little pink dress that fell off your shoulders and hugged your wide hips and ample breasts perfectly. Your curly hair was pulled back in a messy bun as you walked to your car with a large number of books in your arms. He followed you that entire day and wondered why a total doll like you was sat at the museum reception desk all day, you had all the books because it was considered the off season for a summer town like Cape May, and you needed something to do. It only left him with more questions about you of course it made more sense for a woman with your beauty to live in a city like San Fransico as opposed to a vacation resort destination. He could only imagine the attention you got from all the ogling predatory wayward husbands and fathers that plagued the city in the summer. Cash had been ogling you for days, sometimes peering in your bedroom window every evening just to see what skimpy set you’d be wearing to bed that night. He caught on to the fact your air conditioning wasn’t working when he went to search through your cottage after you’d left for work one day. He had only done so with the sole purpose of getting some answers to his questions only to discover you had about four fans blasting in your room. The whole cottage, though exceptionally clean, was that sticky muggy kind of humid and Cash couldn’t help the way he fantasized about seeing your skin slick and glistening. He got off to it as he stared down at your perfectly made bed silently wishing you were in it to watch him stroke himself to the mere idea of your slick body, longing to know if your skin was as soft as it looked.

Your cottage failed to answer any of his questions no matter how many times he’d broken in. In fact, it only left him with more, there were no personal touches in your cottage, no old paperwork even it was almost like you were a ghost, there wasn’t a drop of evidence that you even lived here. The name James gave him correlated with the giant box he found buried in the back of your closet like it was a part of yourself you were trying to forget. The contents of the box surprised Cash; in it were numerous beauty pageant trophies, scrapbooks from your childhood up until your college days at UCLA, and headshots the most recent ones were only two years old. The prospect of you being a former beauty queen surprised him, not because you weren’t that level of beautiful, you were but you now presented yourself as more of a reclusive small-town wallflower. He hardly saw you speak to anyone except your two friends Amy and Bea and aside from them all you gave passerby’s was a sweet greeting and a cute innocent type of smile. It was for that exact reason he couldn’t imagine what a man like James Green wanted you for. Sure, to the everyday messed up cops and average joes like Cash you were a spectacle, a rare precious flower you couldn’t resist the urge to pick or smell but to multimillionaire businessman women of your high caliber were a dime a dozen. Cash might even say James could pull women as beautiful as you or on the rare occasion more beautiful than you, though Cash wasn’t sure there were any, for a lot less than 600,000.00 what made you so special to him?

Cash watched you exit the Emlen Physick Estate Museum at twelve o’clock on the dot, wearing one of those tight short denim jumpsuits with a zipper down the front and a belt around the waist. He felt himself twitch against his thigh as he watched your perky breasts bounce with you as you bounded down the front steps quickly. He couldn’t help but wonder how that zipper was even staying in place where it sat just below them because it was very clear you couldn’t zip it up any further even if you wanted to. Cash could hear the faint click of your 70s style ankle boots on the concrete as he trailed behind you in his truck, debating on whether he would finally talk to you or not. Part of him felt like it would just make the job harder because of how badly he actually wanted you. Silently wishing he had never agreed to take the job in the first place because he couldn’t remember wanting a woman this bad in his entire life. Cash wasn’t sure what it was but just thinking about snatching an innocent flower like you had his stomach twisting in guilt. A feeling that, much like his longing for you, was so foreign to him now. His suspension had spearheaded his moral compass, but you served as a reminder he still had one. But one, James Green, was growing impatient with him, he was almost as desperate to have you as Cash was. Cash watched you walk into the coffee shop with the wind softly blowing your pretty curls in a way that made you look almost ethereal in the warm glow of the afternoon costal sunlight.

He knew tonight would have to be the night, the night he finally stopped watching you sleep through your window and finally took you. He had your nightly routine memorized now, you made it so easy for him, being the truly alluring creature of habit, you were. Cash told James he’d have you to him by the end of the month, a full two weeks from today. Cash gave him a half assed excuse about needing to make sure you weren’t reported missing until he took you up to Boston. Which, in part, was true to some degree, Cash was also hoping to get you to answer some of his lingering questions before he turned you over to him. Cash ignored that guilt that churned in his stomach at the thought of handing you over, assuring himself he would be doing it because a money offer like that doesn’t come around every day. The prospect of finally being able to touch you was still so tempting, especially with his for sure plan to have you cuffed to a bed in the rental property with him for two weeks. James’ only demand was that you be alive, Cash could definitely do that and still fulfill at least some of his fantasies about you, couldn’t he?

Reader’s Pov

You let out a long sigh as you trudge up your driveway to your front door wondering why you picked the most uncomfortable shoes to walk in today. Sacrificing your comfort for the sake of an outfit was nothing new to you of course, in your beauty queen days it was a way of life, but those days were another life to you entirely. You weren’t that girl anymore, the beauty queen, the ingenue, or the life of the party that girl died two years ago on a snowy roof top in Seattle one New Years Eve. You turn your key in lock and rush into your foyer tossing your purse and keys on the bench before turning to double latch your front door. You had been feeling especially anxious this week, you were always on edge as it was but recently you’ve felt like you were being followed. You had no proof of course; save for the blue truck you’ve spotted in town frequently. When you mentioned it to your friend Amy, she assured you there was nothing to worry about. She handled some of the reality and rental properties in the area and said the truck belonged to a very handsome, normal seeming cop who was renting a house near the Cape May lighthouse. Amy quite typically encouraged you to hook up with him before he came to his senses and skipped off to spend the rest of his paid time off somewhere more exciting. September in Cape May routinely became quiet after all the families renting for the summer went back home as soon as the school year started up. Though the weather was unusually hot for mid-September the city had begun its off season, the only people lingering here were locals. So, a hot cop popping up out of the blue was odd but not entirely unheard of. Knowing he was just a cop soothed some of your ongoing anxiety at least but Amy’s overt obsession with your dating life was growing annoying. You swore off dating when you moved here because it wasn’t like they could ever really know you. The cop in question was indeed handsome, truly gorgeous, breathtaking even with short grey hair, a strong build, and the most piercing pair of icy blue eyes you had ever seen. Truthfully you found him quite intimidating, you hadn’t realized how tall he was until he was heading into the café just as you were leaving this afternoon. He gave you a charming sort of smile as he looked at you with what you most definitely misinterpreted as a lustful type of hunger in his pretty eyes, as he held the door open for you and gave you a compliment on your outfit. You flushed giving him a quick thank you before scurrying back toward the museum, you felt a little bad about it now that you thought about it. You were sure he thought you were rude or stuck up but there was just something about the way he gazed at you that was a little unnerving.

You kick off your boots letting out a sigh of relief as some of the aching in your feet was immediately alleviated, but groaned when you realize the reason, they hurt so bad was due to the blisters forming on the heels and pinky toes of both of your feet. You take a moment to insult your cute but apparently devilish footwear for a moment as you peel your socks off and hobble to your bathroom. You flick on the light deciding to start your nightly routine a bit early this evening, it wasn’t like you had anywhere to be, if you didn’t need to make money you would probably never leave the house. You desperately needed to relax for a bit though because you can’t shake the feeling you’re being watched as you pull a box of bandages, some alcohol wipes, and antibacterial ointment out of your medicine cabinet, setting them on the sink next to your nighttime face products. Still enjoying a self-care routine was just about the only thing about you that still somewhat resembled your former self. You venture back into your bedroom turning on your ceiling fan, the two oscillating fans, and the three-speed floor fan you had facing where you usually laid your head. Your cottage was still stuffy with all the unusually warm September days Cape May had seen this month. The cooling company said they wouldn’t be able to get out to you for another two weeks or so and by then it should be finally cooling off as you head into autumn weather. You were still too anxious to sleep with any of your windows open. You rummage through your pajama drawer and settle on a white crop top and short set with blue and pink flowers. You venture back into your bathroom and pointedly lock the door before peeling off your denim jumpsuit.

You let out an almost content sigh as you step into the shower letting the hot water relax your aching muscles for a good ten minutes before you begin washing and exfoliating your skin. You sing softly under your breath in an attempt to keep your mind from wandering off, you tended to get lost in the memories of that night in Seattle because they were still so vivid, they haunted you. You quickly wash your hair because the singing isn’t really doing anything to keep you from losing your mind to the memories, and it sort of feels like you’re just giving the memories their own soundtrack, they did flash through your mind much like a movie only difference was you could pause or stop a movie the memories were more like an endless reel.

You switch the water to cool for a minute, not wanting to sweat while you put on your obnoxious collection of face creams for once before turning the water off completely. Stepping out of the shower as you warp a towel around your body, and hastily wiping off some of the condensation on the mirror with your forearm before getting to work. Taking your time to gingerly wipe drops of your various night creams, massaging them into your skin before moving on to body lotion, then perfume, then you brush your teeth and hair moving somewhat robotically. Your life now was truly mundane, endless amounts of consistency, there was no sparkle, no real living, just surviving, just existing.

You’ve relived that night a thousand times over in the past two years, you could still smell the cigar smoke wafting off his clothes in the crisp January air. You could still hear the happy cheers of the party below you as the clock finally stuck twelve ringing in the New Year and seemingly the end of your life as you knew it. You could still feel the goosebumps budding all over your exposed skin from both the cold and the fear pumping through your veins, standing on the roof in a short gold cocktail dress; your eyes wide and mouth slightly parted. The snow falling around you gently, a pretty picture, in shocking contrast to the rough terrifying scene that unfolded before you. In your head you were running and screaming but outwardly you stood silent and frozen in place like you were watching a truly captivating movie, none of it felt real in the moment. Seeing James Green’s menacing green eyes glinting at you in the soft glow of the roof top lighting with the slightest hint of red gleaming on one side of his face from the Christmas lights that still hung above them. His eyes were filled with the most unsettling combination of unadulterated rage and pleasure you had ever seen, you still get chills just thinking about it and you still wake up struggling to breathe when those menacing eyes would appear in one of your nightmares. Sometimes you swore you could feel the way he viciously yanked Simone Lewis’ hair, dragging her to the ledge of the roof by it at an agonizingly slow pace. James ignored her horrified cries, sobs, and pleads for mercy. You still couldn’t bring yourself to move or cry for help, paralyzed by your own fear. Watching helplessly as James finally shoved her over the ledge, her red evening gown swirling around her with the snow in slow motion. Resembling a bird caught in midair before it disappeared from your view; she plummeted to the ground with the most terrifying crash you had ever heard. Your flight response seemingly kicked in when you heard him cackle, so overtly ecstatic as he called her a string of vile and demeaning names, looking down at his work with a sense of pride.

You pull yourself out of your head long enough to get dressed and treat your blisters. You unlock the bathroom door flicking off the light as you rush to turn on the TV in your living room, silently begging it to distract you long enough to bury the demons that plagued your existence. As you put a kettle of water on the stove and a bag of popcorn in the microwave, shakily pressing the three-minute button as you lean against the counter. You didn’t know James all that well though he had been aggressively pursuing you for months up until the party. Something about him just felt off even before you saw him murder one of your best friends, Simone Lewis. He had been sponsoring one of the pageants you were in, hosting it at one of his numerous hotels in San Franciso. Truthfully, he made all of the girls uncomfortable when he’d invite himself backstage, ogling at them predatorily as he lurked in the dressing room catching them all in various stages of undress. He, for whatever reason, had taken an unsettling liking to you and Simone in particular; inviting you both to parties he was hosting and spending obscene amounts of money on lavish unwanted gifts. New Years eve in Seattle was just one of many parties he invited you to, he flew you both out first class, even though you honestly didn’t want to go. Simone insisted, having taken a liking to the gifts he sent more so than him.

You're pulled out of your thoughts by the whistling kettle, sometimes the whistling creeped you out and tonight it sounds particularly eerie with how on edge you are. You turn off the burner and grab your favorite mug off the cup rack adding a bag of chamomile tea, a drop of honey, and some cream before pouring the hot water into the mug. You grab your bag of popcorn out of the microwave, deciding just to eat it out of the bag and save yourself some dishes. They took a while to pile up anyway, you rarely ever cooked anymore having lost the passion for it in your isolation. The events after the party were a blur, save for a trip to the police station to file a report, much to your horror they’d been trying to build a case against James Green for years, he was wanted in connection to two other murders and a huge drug ring. You, unwittingly, became a key witness in their investigation because you were the only that could connect him to Simone’s death. Thereafter you were put in the witness protection program, given a new identity, a new backstory for your upbringing, and moved to Cape May, New Jersey to live out some resemblance of a life until they finally could nail him with something.

You take a seat on your sofa and aimlessly flick through the channels for a while, settling on a showing of Jurassic Park as a means to escape your own reality, watching other people suffer soothed you in a messed-up type of way. You glance down at your cellphone to see you missed your weekly call with your U.S. marshal, Jim. You roll your eyes to yourself; Jim decided you didn’t need 24-hour surveillance until the Feds finished compiling their case. He assured you James was very much in the dark about you being the one to report him in connection with Simone’s death. Jim made a routine pop by visit twice a month, you were sure this call was just to set up his next one, you’d call him back in the morning. You liked to make him sweat a bit, you followed all the rules of the program to a T as it was but them denying you surveillance only made your anxiety worse. You feel your eyes get a bit heavy about halfway through the movie and get up to do your nightly security sweep before allowing yourself to doze off on the sofa. You check the front door locks again, the back doors, and all the windows in the kitchen, living room, and your bedroom, finding them all secure. You glance for a moment into your unused guest room and feel your heart skip a beat as you stare into the room with wide eyes. The window was open a crack, you’re silently kicking yourself for not noticing it was noticeably cooler in the house as you cautiously approach the room. You didn’t keep much in there to begin with because you almost never had guests over and when you did, they only ever sat with you on your back porch.

You take a few shaky breaths as you push the door open a bit further, everything in the room looked to be in order except for the open window and your heart starts to race at the prospect that your gut instinct that someone was watching you had been correct. The intruder was lurking somewhere in your house watching and waiting for you to let your guard down. Your eyes scan your house frantically as you start slowly backing yourself toward the front door. You only bring yourself to take your eyes off your eerily still kitchen and living room to glance down at the bench in your foyer, finding it void of your keys and purse, but your boots are still exactly where you’d left them. You’re on the verge of a panic attack as you bring your eyes to look back into your spurious empty house, reaching behind you to unlock the front door slowly. Though you’re not sure where you could possibly go without your purse or keys. You pull the door open a crack trying not to make it creak as you turn to look out at your dimly lit neighborhood street.

Everything outside is just as still as it is inside your house; the streetlamps lit the road softly and you could hear the faint sound of car tires in the distance melding with the soft chirp of crickets. The cooler night air hits your face as you trail your eyes toward your driveway finding it as empty as the bench in your foyer, your black Honda civic nowhere to be found in your dimly lit driveway. You let out an audible gasp as the reality of your situation hits you, that you may very well be on your way to join Simone Lewis very soon. Your heart is pounding in your ears as the sound on the TV in your living room dies down behind you, you hear swift footsteps cautiously approaching you in the new veil of spine-chilling silence. You suddenly feel like you’re back on the roof top in Seattle because you can’t bring yourself to turn around, paralyzed once again by your fear. Your wide eyes slowly gaze down at your exposed navel just as a strong hand clad in a cold black leather glove settles on your skin sending a shiver down your spine. It almost gingerly presses against your stomach, pulling you gently away from the door and into what you can only assume is the intruder's broad muscled chest. The hand on your stomach swiftly clamps over your mouth as they shut and relock the front door with their free hand, dressed in the same black leather glove. You let out a muffled whimper but make no attempt to free yourself still feeling paralyzed in their strong but strangely gentle hold. You vaguely wonder why your intruder isn’t taking the opportunity to put you out of your impending misery. You weren't expecting them be this tender with you, as their free hand runs up and down your right arm in what you assume is an attempt to soothe you. You hadn’t realized how vigorously you were trembling until now.

“You won’t get hurt if you cooperate, understand? You can put a pair of shoes on and pack a bag before I blindfold you, princess. If you act up or try to flee, I will subdue and cuff you. If you do that, I can’t promise you won’t get a scratch on this pretty face of yours, okay?” a deep male voice cooed in your ear in a vaguely threatening tone. You shiver slightly, the threat should scare the hell out of you, but instead you find yourself resisting the urge to clamp your thighs together as you feel your clit throb and the warm sensation of arousal spread throughout your stomach. You nod slowly, fighting back a moan as he gently guides you towards your bedroom with his hand still over your mouth. You spot a duffle from the top shelf of your closet sitting on your bed, a wave of realization washes over you as you gaze at it wondering how long this man had been sitting in your closet.

“Alight, go, quickly” he said in the same gentle but firm tone he had before as his hand fell from over your mouth. His thumb quite nearly caresses your chin affectionately before he steps back to give you space. You bite your lip nervously but obey his command almost instantaneously, hastily pulling pjs, socks, and under garments out of your drawer with rosy cheeks. You avoid making eye contact as you open the duffle to shove them in, you furrow your brows slightly seeing a large chunk of your sun dresses and the jumpsuit you had left in your bathroom already in the bag when you defiantly hadn’t put them in there. You wordlessly turn to open another drawer and add a few tank tops and a few pairs of shorts and pants to the bag before zipping it shut. You fumble for a minute as you put on socks and sneakers before daring to look at him as he stood at the foot of your bed watching you intently. You couldn’t make out much other than the fact he was tall, he had a black ski mask covering his face and he pointedly left all the lights off in your room. You couldn’t even make out his eye color in this lighting as he pulled out a long black piece of fabric, wordlessly instructing you to turn around. You obey him again, though hesitantly this time, taking a deep shaky breath as he wraps the cool fabric over your eyes. You hear him shuffle around a bit before grasping your arm still being unusually gentle as he directs you out of your bedroom and through your house. You hear him unlatching one of the doors, you can tell by the dragging sound it’s the one leading to your patio. A sliding door, all he has to do to lock it is to push the notch in under the handle before closing it. You feel your stomach churn slightly, presuming he already relocked the guest bedroom window. Him securing your house was a step to ensure no one would come looking for you for a while, seeing your cottage locked and secure made it look like you left of your own volition. You wonder if anyone will actually figure out what happened to you, save for Jim, the only person that knows about your change in identity.

“Watch your step, Y/N” your abductor’s deep voice calls out to you in the darkness and it’s all the confirmation you need, because he used your birth name, a name only someone from your past would know. James Green sent this man to get you, which means James defiantly knows what you’ve done, why you really disappeared, and why you ignored all his voicemails asking you to join him for dinner. You stumble for a moment going down your back steps and your kidnapper surprises you by scooping you up into his strong arms, carrying you to your next destination. You can make out the sound of a heavy car door opening as he sets you inside of the vehicle, pointedly on the floor in case you decided to take off your blindfold and try to memorize the surroundings of wherever it was you’d be going. You felt your heartrate pick up again at the prospect of being met with James’ menacing green eyes when you got to where you were going. You feel the car start up, the purr of the engine vibrating through your body with enough rev to make you realize you weren’t in a small vehicle.

“If you’re willing to stay on the floor, you can take off that blindfold but only if you promise not to look out at anything on the drive or when we get there. If you do the same threat applies, okay princess” you nod your head in acknowledgement as you suddenly recognize his voice, it’s the same one that complimented your jumpsuit mere hours ago as he flashed you a charming smile. You begin to think your interpretation of the emotions swirling in those piercing icy blue eyes wasn’t too far off.

“I’ve gotta hear you say it, princess. Say ‘I promise not to look at anything’” he said in a way that boarded on flirtatious. You feel your cheeks flush again as you nibble on your lower lip in embarrassment.

“I promise not to look at anything while you’re driving or when we get there. You didn’t even really like my outfit… did you” you said dryly, reaching behind your head to untie the blindfold. Watching as it pools in your lap before you look up at him from the floor. You can make out his icy blue eyes from the soft glow of the passing streetlamps flooding in through the windows as he stares down at you with an intimidating gaze. You shift uncomfortably, focusing on the dark grey interior of his blue truck, with flushed cheeks.

“Oh, honey, I adore that outfit, I plucked it off the bathroom sink before you even put the kettle on” he said, letting out a deeply amused chortle suddenly pushing harder on the gas.

Chapter 2

#thomas ian griffith #cash x reader #eventual smut #black friday 2007 #the kidnapping 2007 #Cash

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vyl3tpwny · 2 years

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ANTONYMPH (Vylet Ponystep Remix)

art by @astroeden

—

So I just released my remix of Antonymph, and you can read my original Tumblr post about the original song here if you want to.

There's a lot of substantial stuff going on under the surface with this remix that can be broken down into two major things:

Breaking out of burnout

Fulfilling a childhood wish

The former of these things is something that I've been dealing with since the release of CUTIEMARKS. I suppose I don't necessarily mean I've been experiencing burnout in that I haven't been working on stuff. Rather, the response to CUTIEMARKS (especially seeing the reviewbombing done over RateYourMusic) left me feeling like I wasn't quite good enough for some reason.

I think I'm good enough though, I don't think this feeling occurs because there's any merit in these thoughts. Rather, I feel oddly self conscious now about appealing to the more widespread music critic world. A lot of music in the spaces I create in (namely electronic dance music) is often looked down upon in the 'higher echelons of music enjoyment'. Paired with the fact that I do very colourful pony music, it makes me a rather big target for people to come down on.

Going into making Fish Whisperer, I specifically set out to make a project that would both criticize and appeal to the critical music consensus. I've done my part in doing that, now, and I feel more able to try and work through these feelings of self consciousness. This remix is one of the first things to aid me in doing that. It ties in very heavily with the fact that it's a style of dubstep that has been considered "uncool" and out of trend since probably 2015 or 2016. It's a really melodic, complextro-ey, Bend +/- growl type of song.

I used to try making this style of dubstep rather often. However, a quick tour through my discography revealed to me that I actually never completed and released something in this style for the near decade I've been releasing music publicly. I came to this realization only after I had actually completed the remix. This takes me to the second point I established, in that I am now fulfilling a childhood wish.

It's a huge deal to me to finally release something in this style of music. I haven't really innovated on it much and it's hardly more than the sum of its inspirations, but it also makes me super happy anyway. I was not skilled enough or had the attention span to actually accomplish a song like this when I was younger, and when I finally was able to, it was already out of style and not worth pursuing at the time.

So here I am pursuing it.

I think the whole thing of trends in the EDM community is really annoying actually. In some cases in can drive new ideas to new heights, but it can also really oversaturate other things even though there are really cool things to support it. Things like Big Room and Future Bass are considered really cheesy and silly right now, but I think that's because nobody is innovating on those things and making them fresh. I think that needs to happen, I want to see lots of genres become consistently innovated and reimagined. You see this happening widespread with a lot of genres that seem to have this trend agreed upon, like the rise of breakbeat inspired stuff in the indie electronic scene again. I think we should just consistently innovate things. Sound is kind of infinite, so it's always possible.

Anyway. The Antonymph spirit of everything is to create things for yourself and to feel as whimsical and in love with the smaller things in life as possible. I think I'm going to do a lot more music that is considered out of style and not very trendy in the EDM community. And I definitely need to regain my ability to not care what critical people think of my work. I can improve the fundamental stuff on my own time. If people really get upset at me for the styles and content matter that I write about, so be it. I'm writing for the weirdo in the corner of a school dance, not the people dancing.

Love you poniez.

P.S; the art that @astroeden made was inspired by the galaxy dubstep cat that showed up in every other dubstep compilation in 2014 or something. (You can see the full art on her page instead)

#vylop #antonymph #fluttgirshy #mlp #my little pony #fim

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morrak · 11 months

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Untitled Wednesday Library Series, Part 114

Today's feature has been riding pine since Part 2 — I've glanced at it sidelong every week for two years and change, but the time has never felt right. It doesn't feel right now either, but I recently gave it a reread and might as well get it over with while the memory is fresh. This is a personal pseudo-favorite and probably one of the only things I own that could be called infamous (though admittedly only by a certain type of guy), but it's not especially easy to sum up.

A New Bacteriology, right? Originally published in 1980 as Introduction à la nouvelle bactériologie by the University of Montreal Press, this text has probably saw more distribution in this 1983 English translation under Jones and Bartlett Publishers, Inc. The frontmatter cites the whole 'staff for this book'; like last week I'll include a photo with the cover shots.

Evidently there exists an ISBN for a clothbound edition, but I’ve only ever seen the paperbacks.

The How

I probably first encountered the title in a David Quammen book or something, but I didn't hunt down a copy until I made friends with a former professor in the philosophy of biology. He didn't/doesn't work on systematics, but somehow or another this got mentioned and I found a used copy on eBay. This has never been reprinted and scans are scarce; these days the online secondhand market seems spooky. As always, let me know if you want a look inside and I'll hook you up.

The Text

I can't say much about either author — Panisset died in '81 and I frankly haven't bothered to track down any of Sonea's other stuff. Microbiologists both, of course, working while the field was in profound flux. Endosymbiotic theory had only been substantiated by Lynn Margulis in '67, and Archaea weren't defined until a decade later, in the early stages of this book's composition. Both of those are important here.

This is not a gentle book. It's a manifesto with several interests, most salient of which is the argument that various modes of horizontal gene transfer, limited local genetic information, and co-evolution of bacterial 'teams' makes all 'bacteria' (these days we'd say prokaryotes; the usually mean to include what we'd now call Archaea) parts of a global superorganism. Under this view, species are bunk; bacteriophages are less virus and more a tool of bacterial evolution; most microbiologists are basically close-minded. Oh, and because of all of that, the Gaia hypothesis is correct. There's a lot going on here. Lynn Margulis wrote the intro to this version and is mentioned several times throughout, if you can imagine that. I do not have enough space here to say all I want to about that and her, so let it suffice that it makes complete sense she went to bat for this.

If the book is interesting for anything, it's the way it goes about structuring its arguments. It is basically a philosophical artifact; there's no new wet work going on at all, and appeals to, say, numbers and novel observations and discrete mechanisms are sparse. That it works like a philosophy of biology book but is aimed at biologists as such is probably its greatest rhetorical weakness (if you’re not counting the usually Gaia stuff). There are some fascinating rhetorical slants going on around gene transfer mechanisms that I'll mention exist; say so if you want to hear more.

If their gripes about their field hold any water, there are some deep and complicated implications for the rest of biology in light of work done since the 80s. The conclusions drawn here are often silly, mostly toothless, and politically a bit dicey, but some of their insights have (through other channels, usually with different flavors) come to widespread, if tacit, acceptance anyway. I think I'm comfortable calling this recommended, but certainly not endorsed, reading.

The Object

Eh. Small publishing house doing what it could with a rather complicated job. The typesetting and printing is completely adequate but a little frustrating in the way that basically all biology writing is. The early 80s were especially bland in scientific publishing; absolutely no frills or risky moves. A bit of a shame, but I'm used to the disappointment.

This copy needs repairs, but not so urgently I'll likely have them made any time soon. It's stable, at least for another decade or so. Interestingly a previous owner made notes in French.

The Why, Though?

Because I expected it to give me complicated feelings and also because it did. As a bonus, if I ever need to launder my sympathies for systematic radicalism as a passing academic interest, having a slightly ratty copy of this on my shelf will probably do the trick.

#images #untitled wednesday library series

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manonamora-if · 4 months

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Retrospective 2023 (3)

Haven't looked at numbers in a minute, and since my presence online has been super inconsistent (especially here) recently, I have no idea how this will end up looking. I've updated this sheet a couple of time during the year, but not in a way it tracks old numbers... Because Tumblr has a limit of 20 images per post, I won't include the graphs here, like I did last year, but in this doc (for those interested). Also, I realised I didn't even do celebration posts for milestones this year... And there were quite a few ;-; sorry

For the relevant projects, I've also included a more detailed recap of what's been done this year. All of it is under the cut.

The projects are ordered in date of release.

Forewarning, those stats are not a good representation of IF/Tumblr popularity. The numbers should not be taken as a baseline for comparison. There are many different factors that resulted in those, most of them being out of everyone’s control. I am only comparing myself to Past-Me.

2021 Releases

Status: Complete.

No major updates, since the game is complete. Only some maintenance fixes. The source code of older versions is also available on my GitHub.

Stats:

5.475 total plays (+1.7k-ish)

30 ratings (+5), with an average of 4.4/5 (+0.1)

Inside 316 collections (+108)

Almost 2.3 views/play (+0.1)

Unsurprisingly, the interest for MtP is going down. The game is complete, has not and will not have new updates. It would surprise me if it would gain any traction at this point. I expect the additional plays not to pass 600 by the end of 2024.

2023 Milestones:

5k plays

30 ratings

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Hiatus

I wanted to have an update for this project in 2023. It didn't happen. There is actually quite a bit of work to do in the code, which I had started but didn't complete.

Stats:

40.326 total plays (+12k-ish)

97 (+28), with an average of 4.6/5 (-0.1)

Inside 2.679 collections (+913)

About 2.0 view/play (+0.1)

For a year without any update, I am honestly surprised so many people still played the game this year (average of 30 plays/day). I'm very grateful about it, nonetheless. Hopefully, I'll have something to show for this year!

2023 Milestones:

30k + 40k plays

75 ratings

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Hiatus

This was another project I had planned to complete this year and... didn't. I managed to write a bit for the game, but nothing that would warrant an update.

Stats:

2.203 total plays (+760)

13 ratings (+2), with an average of 4.3/5 (+0.1)

Inside 126 collections (+38)

Went to 2.9 view/play (+0.2)

There were a few jumps in interest in Exquisite Cadaver this year, especially considering there were, once again, no updates (especially at the start of April). But nothing very substantial... I'm honestly pretty happy peeps still enjoy the game, because the whole thing is a bit strange xD

2023 Milestones:

2k plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

2022 Releases

Status: Completed

Absolutely nothing has been happening with this game, not even a bug fix or anything. When I get back to this project, it will be for a complete re-haul. Which won't happen in a long while.

Stats:

3.205 total plays (+790-ish)

19 ratings (+4), with an average of 4.3/5 (=)

Inside 293 collections (+90)

About to 2.2 view/play (+0.1)

2023 Milestones:

3k plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Completed

There was a plan to fix the issues in the game AND add new content. But, if you've followed me this year, you've seen... nothing happened! Honestly, a whole re-code of the game is needed at this point.

Stats:

1.458 total plays (+785)

16 ratings (+6), with an average of 4.5/5 (+0.3)

Inside 103 collections (+59)

About 2.1 view/play (=)

The lack of blowing up stands on two things: the game is not that good... and I don't really have an intro post peeps can share...

2023 Milestones:

1k plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Ongoing

Out of all the WIPs I have, this one got the most progress. It got two major updates during the first half of the year (one of which included a maze!). The second had been spent working especially on Chapter 5 (it's a chunker) and starting Chapter 6 (for MelS). We are trying to wrap up the project for 2024.

Stats:

9.379 total plays (+6.4k-ish) (so close…)

56 (+28) ratings, with an average of 4.8/5 (=)

Inside 783 collections (+444)

About 1.9 view/play (+0.1)

A pretty decent growth for the game, though it is not always consistent. Most interest in the project happens during updates (duh), with some dozen returning players weekly. I don't think it will ever reach the level of CRWL, but it is doing pretty well considering the genre.

2023 Milestones:

5k plays

50 ratings

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Completed(-ish)

Until the first anniversary of this project (coinciding with the EctoComp once more) this game was in French only. Since last October, it was re-written to include more rooms inside the house, and a proper ending beat. It was then translated into English, and the whole thing was recoded. There are still a few kinks I need to handle, but it is essentially complete.

Stats:

252 total plays (+181)

1 rating with 5 stars (=)

Inside 13 collections (+7)

About 4.9 view/play (-0.7)

Unsurprisingly, there was little to no interest in the game. The page was visited a bunch of times, but few people clicked (probably because it was in French. Since the translation, more users have checked out the game and played it. I don't really expect much more interest from players, unfortunately...

2023 Milestones:

100 + 250 plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW Oh... it doesn't have a page... omg.. stpid me.

Status: Completed

This year, the game was re-edited, translated to French, and recoded - a proper remaster including sound! And another game I can call complete and shelved!

Stats:

605 total plays (+270-ish)

10 ratings (+3), with an average of 4.8/5 (+0.1)

Inside 31 collections (+17)

About 3.2 view/play (+0.1)

I am not shocked to see this, honestly. It's a short meme game around a gimmick mechanic that gets old pretty quickly. Still, some interest made in late last June (somehow???) and when I published the remaster in autumn.

2023 Milestones:

500 plays

10 ratings

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Ongoing

At the start of the year, I updated this game to add a tiny bit of content (a few passages) and ensured it could be played on mobile. And published a template from this UI.

There was more content written for the game, as well as mechanics coded, but nothing is coherent enough (or devoid of bugs) to be playable.

Stats:

500 total plays (+333 !!!)

4 ratings (+4), with an average of 5.0

Inside 39 collections (+28)

About 3.0 view/play (+0.5)

Combined a tiny demo with a pre-set character, a not super popular genre, not much to do or little replayability... and you get this. I'll just check back when the game is actually complete :P Honestly, I'm just glad some peeps caught the inspiration for P-RIX.

2023 Milestones:

500 plays !!!!

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW (oh and it has both an intro post and an IFDB page now!)

2023 Releases

Now that we are going into the new releases, there is less comparing, and more putting down the base.

Status: Completed

Biggest high of this year! Released the game in January, won the comp in March, was interviewed shortly after, remastered the whole thing during the summer break (which included a total re-haul of the UI, an English translation, and increased content). Hands down my best game of the year.

Stats

967 total plays

7 ratings, with an average of 5.0

Inside 68 collections

About 3.1 view/play

Lots of views on the game page without plays for the longest time, because, up until the remaster, the game was only available in French. Things picked up then the remaster was uploaded (though it coincided with the IFComp). The game is also not available for mobile play due to its interface...

2023 Milestones:

Won the French Comp!

100 + 250 + 500 plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Hiatus

The first Act of the story was created for the SeedComp! (which didn't win anything because I organised it, and it would have been unfair :P ). There was a plan to complete the game after the SeedComp! was over, but that didn't pan out. I have notes for it, though a re-write of Act 1 may be necessary...

Stats:

633 total plays

5 ratings, with an average of 3.6

Inside 46 collections

About 2.6 view/plays

While bummed by the average, Not surprised. The game is incomplete and plays on the noir codes, which are... something (also the twist is silly). I'll pay a bit more attention to it when the game is actually complete :P Also... It never got an intro post....

2023 Milestones:

100 + 250 + 500 plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Complete

Released for the SpringThing in the Main Garden, this game was supposed to be updated by the end of last year and... it ended up needed a lot more work than expected. I am still working on it. This was my attempt in experimenting with Twine, creating a parser with a non-parser program. It... didn't work all that well as a conventional parser, but it worked pretty well for other peeps.

Stats:

650 total plays

5 ratings, with an average of 5.0

Inside 56 collections

About 2.8 view/plays

Honestly, not bad considering this is a weird parser, that worked eh and still has some issues. I won't ever expect it to blow up, honestly, but it's nice to see a play or two popup on my screen sometimes.

2023 Milestones

100 + 250 + 500 plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Complete-ish

Created for a French Jam where I could not choose the program, the game was then upgraded and translated into English for the Text Adventure Literacy Jam a few weeks later. It was my first proper parser game (and made with Adventuron). I still need to fix some issues and typos with the English version, and retranslate back into French...

Stats: The game has currently two pages: French and English

160 (58+88) total plays

4 ratings, with an average of 5.0 and 4.0

Inside 4 collections

About 2.8 view/plays

No surprise here. Parsers are not popular on itch. (I should maybe add it to the textadventure.co.uk website....)

PLAY FR - EN | INTRO POST | RATE FR - EN | REVIEW

Assets and Other Tiny Games

Loads happened with this sections this year, with the addition of 5 new templates, and a whole Guide for SugarCube.

In January, the Setting Template was added - with the Space-Tech UI one following at the end of March, the VN-lite UI one in July, the Character Creator in November, and the Title Page UI in December.

The Guide was released in two periods, with a pre-release before the summer, and a complete one mid-december (which included a download point).

As of last month, all templates are also available on Github, and the Guides are all "playable" on itch.

CScript to SugarCube Guide/Folder

105 downloads (114 plays)

4 rating at 5 stars

Inside 36 collections

Get it here.

Tweego Ready to Use Guide

425 downloads (51 plays)

1 rating at 5 stars

Inside 6 collections

Get it here

Note: this guide got its own page in November of this year, despite being available since 2022

SugarCube Guide

1.300 "plays" (76 download)

11 ratings at 5 stars

Inside 102 collections

Get it here

Templates

2105 downloads

25 ratings, with an average of 5.0

Inside 274 collections

Get them here

After the release of Le Jeu de la Dévotion in late December 2022, I've been participating in other game jams with tiny entries. While one did get a bit more interaction than even my larger piece (Collision, wtf), little really happened to warrant a proper section (they are really tiny!).

And so these were released:

April 2023: À la Campagne [English]

June 2023: Clarence Street, 14, Collision, Intersigne [English + French]

Aug 2023: Le Diner [English]

Oct 2023: In the Blink of an Eye [English + French]

Nov 2023: Tower of Sleep [English] <- BINKSI :D

Dec 2023: Dévoiement [French]

2023 Overall Graph

Ok I lied, one graph:

Compared to last year, the graph is less very high peaks and very low down time (with a slow increase), but a more consistent base (higher than last year) with some moderate peaks for releases (namely Harcourt's and DOL-OS). The downloads have boomed, but that's because of the templates...

The increase of overall small releases (with jam/comp entries) probably helped in this staying a bit consistent (though I could do a better job at hyping up releases before and after they happen here and in other places). It would probably have looked much different if my release focus was somewhere else (like CRWL).

And that's it for stats (I'm skipping the follower/note counts)! The 2024-plan is next!

#manonamora #retrospective #2023 #year in review #games #indie dev #assets #twine #interactive fiction #interactive games #I can't tag all the projects anymore #because Tumblr has a limit of 20...#milestones #stats

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quite-right-too · 6 months

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20 Questions Game

Thank you for the tag @demdifferentstories-29 I want to add that most of my old works on AO3 have since been deleted unfortunately so I'm basically starting from scratch on here.

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 4 (but I have some plans for more)

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

15,718

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write almost exclusively for Doctor Who but I'm considering doing other DT crossovers like Broadchurch.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I only have four up right now so I'll just list them in order from most to least.

Dona Nobis Pacem (TenRose modern AU)

TenRose Ask Box Ficlets (ongoing inbox prompt ficlets)

Last Words (post-Journey's End nightmare drabble)

Grand Finale (one shot of @sneakertin's dark!Tentoo AU)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I will always respond to comments. I love the engagement and being able to talk to the readers of my silly little stories. The validation really gets me in the mood to write more.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That title will easily go to Grand Finale because it's DARK. Chapter 17 in TenRose Ask Box Ficlets is also really heartbreaking.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dona Nobis Pacem is still a WIP but it will be having a happy ending, I promise.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't really written enough to get any hate yet, but I do get a lot of heartbroken readers when I post angst.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I haven't but I do have some planned for the WIP I have going on right now.

It'll be F/M simply because that's the ship I write for and how my fics are written. I don't know if I'll write any F/F or M/M in the future, but it's always a possibility.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have no yet, but wait til y'all see all the little things in my brain.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't believe so but you never know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I can confidently say that I have not.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't done a legitimate co-written fic yet. I would love to, but I'm not entirely sure of how it would go, especially since most of my work in the past has been educationally related and I've been the sole person working on it.

However, the wonderful @demdifferentstories-29 has been beta-ing Dona Nobis Pacem and she has added a substantial amount to it so I would basically consider it a co-writing situation. Lily is an amazing author and I'm legitimately still giddy to have one of my favorite fic writers beta-ing my silly little thing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

All time favorite ship will always be TenRose. Obviously, TentooRose is in there mixed in, but that's simply semantics. He IS the Doctor so...

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don't know that I have one that I don't intend on finishing, but I always worry that my muse will just disappear on me and I won't be able to finish the few that I have started right now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that my angst is pretty damn good. I used to do a bit of writing for an old OC RP I used to do and the angst of that was heavy.

Also, making sure things are accurate. Doing my research, reaching out to more knowledgable people on the topic who can better assist, and just overall covering my bases to make things as realistic, accurate, and respectful as possible.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm more of an essay/research proposal writer versus a novel writer, which means I have a lot of issues with telling and not showing. Another major issue is, again, being able to give accurate and intimate descriptions of the actual scene so the readers are able to visualize it themselves.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't know that I would do great since I would have to rely on Google Translate for it, but I would absolutely be willing to add it in there.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It has always been Doctor Who. I know my old fics are still on this blog somewhere, as well as probably on my old laptop wherever it is.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

The obvious answer would be Dona Nobis Pacem, but I have a lot of plans for the Grand Finale AU in the future. That is one I'm super excited to work on this coming winter.

Tagging: @thirdeyeblue @tenroseforeverandever @rudennotgingr @lastbluetardis @gingerteaonthetardis

#my post #I love when friends tag me in things #I have golden retriever energy of just wanting to be involved

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alltheselights · 1 year

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Hi Emma. So should we be concerned by how badly Louis's tour seems to be selling? I've seen tickets for resale under $20 for the US and the shows haven't even started. 😕

From what I’ve seen, those resale tickets were part of deals from platforms like SeatGeek and not exclusive to Louis’ shows, but regardless, it’s not our job to worry about his tour sales. It’s his and his team’s responsibility. They basically did just two weeks of promo for his album - and most of it happened a month after the album dropped when it had already fallen off the charts and was for existing fans. They have done nothing since, with him dropping off the map. They made no effort to get him on radio or to do a substantial push of his music on TikTok or any other platform when it counted, which is right when the album dropped. They had an opportunity with Written All Over Your Face especially and they wasted it (though they could always drop it as a single later and I hope they will). The choices made they made with his music videos, which can often help blow songs up if they end up trending, also didn’t gain his music interest outside of the fandom or even give much rewatch value for his fans.

He’s sold a good number of tickets, but they do need to sell more, particularly in the United States, and they’re going to need to put in the work to make it happen. I think announcing the rest of the tour dates will also help because he hasn’t announced anything in some of the places that love him the most. Fans have already done what they can. I desperately want Louis to have a successful tour, but I’m also not going to accept responsibility for or worry about things that only he and his team can control. That’s on them.

#asks

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monstrousproductions · 2 years

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Submissions are now OPEN for Season Three!

Hello, friends I'm very pleased to say our inbox has, at long last, reopened! If you haven't had a submission on the programme yet, now's the time to act as Season Three will be the last season of Monstrous Agonies.

You can send your submissions here on Tumblr, via the website or by email at submissions[at]monstrousagonies.co.uk.

Now, since we've gained quite a few new followers and listeners since the inbox closed way back in December, I thought it would be helpful to address some common questions and clarify some points!

What kind of submissions do you accept? We accept submissions for both letters and adverts. In both cases, you can either write the full piece, or submit a short prompt - or anything in between! For example, in Episode Thirty One the letter about a creature who could smell lies and worked in a government office was a three-sentence prompt, while the letter about a creature with rigor mortis was a full letter.

What kind of thing can I write about? Generally speaking, anything! I do encourage you to think about the tone of the programme and use your judgement on whether a topic is appropriate, though. For example, there's a great deal of fantasy violence in MA and plenty of jokes about people being eaten, but the context is always otherworldly and a step removed from real-world violence. This isn't something that's been a problem in the past, though, so if this is your first submission I encourage you to just give it a go. Especially because...

Will you edit my submission? Almost definitely, yes! Some submissions go into the show unedited but most get at least a little tweaking here and there, usually for improved clarity or to get the language more in line with the world-building that's already been done. Sometimes the edits are more substantial, for example if the letter is too long. By submitting, you're giving your permission for me to fiddle about with your submission as much as I feel is necessary - though I do always strive to keep as light a touch as possible. I want to hear your voices, after all!

How long should submissions be? There's no minimum length - you could submit a single word if you felt so moved. Though I'd, uh. I'd prefer you didn't. There's no maximum word count either, but I recommend reading your letter aloud and seeing if it comes in around the 2-3 minute mark. But as above, I will edit it down if necessary so as long as you're OK with that, I shouldn't worry too much.

Can I submit if I've already had a submission on the show? 100%! It's really lovely, actually, seeing repeated names in the inbox and recognising people's styles and interests 💖

How do you decide which letters get used? I try my best to include every submission I get sent, and have very, very rarely chosen not to. However, with the incredibly high volume of submissions I'm expecting this season (I mean, the inbox has been open for less than 24 hours and we're already well into double figures...!) I may have to be more selective. In that case, I'll generally give preference to first-time submitters.

How long will it take to hear my submission? More like months than weeks, I'm afraid, at least for letters. MA has one episode per week and two letters per episode. As I said, we're already past 10 letters for next season and S03 doesn't even start for another month! Adverts usually have a quicker turn-around as we get fewer submissions for those. Most submissions are included in the order they were received, though if you submit multiple letters then I'll usually try and have a bit of a gap between them.

Can my submission riff on previous letters? Sure! If I have any secret plans for those characters that your letter is impinging I will simply... not use your submission 😉

When will the inbox close? Totally depends on how many submissions I get and how quickly. I have 40 episodes planned for S03, and would like to keep a handful of letters for myself (either for plot reasons or just because I have a fun idea I want to do!) so there are a limited number of spaces and I'll close the inbox once those are full.

I have another question not answered here and/or I want to tell you how clever and well-dressed you are! By all means, slide into my Asks if you have any questions, comments, concerns or compliments 😎

Happy writing, friends, and I can't wait to see what you're cooking up for us!

#monstrous agonies #behind the scenes at monstrous hq #submissions open #short story submissions #writblr #writers of tumblr #podcast #horror podcast #creative writing #queer creator

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mealswildride · 5 months

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A Rant about Death, Gettysburg, and Observational Research

After losing dad, my friend came hundreds of miles to be present for the funeral. We went out to dinner afterwards, and once everyone was a couple of drinks in, he managed to talk me into attending the 160th Reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg with him.

This is something I'd NEVER do, but I accepted. Partly because of how much he went out of his way for me, partly because of simple peer pressure (I'd be called a bitch if I said no (Mama didn't raise no bitch) ), but a substantial part of it was, for me, this idea of the Quest. Especially as the weeks went by, as I finished school and returned home for the Summer only for my grief to grow worse, I think I marked the battle as this climax in my "James is sad'' arc, where, once I was up and over that hill, I would have completed this objective I arranged for myself at the lowest point of my life, and it would have, somehow, told my brain that I didn't have to be sad anymore.

The battle was on the hottest day of the Summer, on one of the hottest days of the Literally Ever, and the air stunk of campfire as the whole of Canada was, at the time, burning. I sweated my ass off, nearly fainted from dehydration, fell asleep in an officer's chair and, just by the good graces of a medic, didn't get pranked by the rest of my crew. Ultimately, while it's not my thing and I'd never do it again, I had a blast. I spent time with good friends I almost never see, saw a part of the country I’d never see if it wasn't for this, and gained a whole lot of respect for the guys who died to reunify the country. This being said, upon returning home a seasoned veteran, I felt no better than when I had left. Life returned to our new, miserable, "normal", and I isolated myself for the next few months until school resumed.

I bring this story up now because, frankly, I've been struggling with searching for sources of observational research for Capstone. That isn't to say I haven't found any. Everyone I've spoken to has been really moved by my ideas, and has had something I should watch, read, or play to suggest as a result. While I am appreciative of these, when it comes to words on paper every time I try to connect them to my project, I'm lying. I have to lie to say with a straight face that Red Dead Redemption 2 or The Good Place or Black Mirror, or basically anything apart from some Unity tutorials has actually influenced where I thought my project was going from Day 1. I want to talk about the things that influenced me at the start, but all that delivers is "I haven't done anything since the start of the semester". I’ve used all my other original inspirations to their fullest extent, with the only exception being Gettysburg. It has been something of six months now, and in the midst of exams (seems like we really only have two weeks between the end of my latest midterm and the start of my earliest final), I had forgotten entirely about it, and whenever I did think about it I didn’t think it related at all to my work.

This changed recently (tonight, as I write this), as I finally connected some other puzzle pieces that have made it make sense. In conversation with my Game Design instructor some weeks ago, he asked if I knew how the game I'm developing would end, which, at the time, I didn’t. We talked for a bit, which yielded the conclusion that the Emulation your character is trying to build disables itself once you find the last memory piece. This was based on the fact that the game is supposed to mirror my own thought process in discovering what preservation is actually about. It begins with this idea of restoring somebody through A.I., through a big metal box with their personality inside, a literal monument, a physical presence, but ends with the box lecturing you about how this emulation isn’t real, and how the way the person being emulated truly lives on is through the adventure you just endured, through the memory that bullshit, exhausting quest just created.

I did all of this without consciously thinking about the battle, but I think subconsciously, it was always there. The character you play as understands his quest to complete the Emulation as a means to end his sorrow. I thought of the battle that same way. The character undergoes a revelation at quest’s end that it wasn’t about some physical thing fixing their sense of loss, but rather using death as a means to spur on new, exciting things, to build new memories, to live on because the ones they loved were once there. Gettysburg didn’t fix me. Gettysburg was never going to fix me. But it was fun, and I never would have gone if I wasn’t at that funeral.

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little-cereal-draws · 1 year

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ok i'm just going to vent a bit abt some financial issues i've got rn so feel free to skip

i'm going to a really nice private school rn. i've only been going for one semester but it's an amazing school with a 99% employment rate within six months of graduating. which is amazing. for any college but especially for an art school. like i've said, i've only been there for one semester and they're already started us on career prep. most kids graduate with multiple job offers and the lucky ones make up to six figures straight out of school.

but tuition is expensive. we can't afford it. we can't pay my tuition and rent. my tuition was due on dec 1st and it's not in yet bc we don't have the money. we never had a lot to begin with, but my dad lost one of his jobs a few months ago so now we have even less. theres not enough money for a christmas tree or presents this year, there's barely enough for food, so idk what we're going to do. we've applied for renters assistance but they're so slow, and the last time my tuition can be submitted is a week from today. my dad was looking at a payment plan from the school but they still require you pay half of it upfront and we don't have that!!! i don't know what we're going to do. our choices are not have me go next semester, get evicted, or beg family members for more money like we've been doing.

i really don't know what we're going to do bc when we paid my fall tuition, it was too much and we almost got evicted too. this can't happen every quarter for the next four years! it's too much, it's too much money! we're trying to move to a better building but they won't answer my dads emails. literally there's one week left. i know that i will end up going back somehow, maybe my mom will pay it, maybe my grandpa, maybe we'll have to take out another loan, but i'm sure it will get done.

i just feel so fucking useless. i got into another school that offered me so much money, we would only be paying $4000 a year but noOoO, I had to go to the nice prestigious school. it's bc i want to know for a fact i could get a job after school which is a perfectly good reason but idk if my family can make it that long. i don't want to drop out but i've been thinking about it (not seriously tho, more as smth to do in the future). my parents would be furious if i did that bc i worked so hard to get in and they're paying so much and they want me to acheive my dreams but if the options are drop out or have my dad and sister be homeless... i know what i'm choosing. that's kind've a "worst case scenario" but really we're very close. we're so behind on rent (7 months i think?).

I've been applying for scholarships nonstop since last spring but haven't won any. i've applied for so many jobs and none of them have gotten back to me. and the job that i do have is as a freelancer for a startup company but they won't give me any work! i emailed the school and begged them for more money and they gave me an additional $8000 a year, which is helpful, but isn't enough to help substantially. i'm going to apply for jobs at the school when the semester starts and fill out every scholarship i can find.

idk but if we get evicted and then my dad finally loses against his depression, it's going to be on my fucking head

#basically it just boils down to #'isn't it fucked up that my family has to choose between not being homeless and being able to eat or sending me to school'#and i chose to be a fucking artist this is going to be my situation for the rest of my life #i love the american college scene

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snaurus · 1 year

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NOTICE: Progress Report on The Middle

I haven't done a lot of posts like this, only one-offs whenever I reach a large or interesting milestone, but I'd like to change that! I'm very invested in my projects, more so than ever - and I'm especially excited to talk about this one. It's grown substantially since my initial concept and hey, maybe someone will benefit or enjoy getting to learn about the behind the scenes aspects of what I'm doing.

To really understand, though, I have to explain the convoluted writing process I've concocted over the years. It's not always consistent between ventures, but the best way I've found to write my stories are:

1. Notation - This is when I'll jot down random bits. Interesting dialogue exchanges, ideas for scenes, inspiration from the source material or something else. Nothing is usually longer than a couple words or a short sentence, maybe a brief paragraph at most.

For The Middle, this was easy. I essentially did this at the same time as its predecessors. In fact, the sequels were a part of this process, too. Anything to do with the series was done; I avoid differentiating and limiting my creativity if I can help it. That's not to say everything is planned out in its entirety, but I guess I try not to worry about "finalizing" so much as what I want to include. I mean, if an aspect doesn't fit in one part, I can always move it to another, right? Or scrap it altogether and re-use it in another story that's better suited.

2. Outline - I start organizing what I've been cultivating for the story. I have severe memory problems, so when inspiration strikes I have to drop everything and log it somewhere, else I lose it forever. Sometimes I use a journal next to my bed, a notation app on my phone, scrap paper at work, or whatever program I have open on my computer at the time (e-mail, notepad, word doc, etc.). My stuff is scattered everywhere in a jumbled mess, so I gather everything, put it in order, and make it cohesive. Although, I always seem to find something I wrote for a story hiding somewhere unexpected afterwards...

For the most part, The Middle was done at this stage at the time of posting The Beginning because the "meat" of the interactions I wanted Din and Luke to have were delegated here. In a way, I kind of worked backwards in the series since I had many concepts for them together and less for when they first met. 😅

3. Rough Draft - Basically, I expand on everything. I add descriptions, I add more dialogue, I add more action, I add, add, add. I typically keep it in a bullet format, and never worry about the finer details at this stage. Grammar? I don't know her. Canon? Pft! I'll research that later, it's future snarechan's problem. I also tend to work in one document (to more easily find references) and take advantage of any "comment" functions to include non-story related content (translations for words, reminders, etc.).

This is the stage where I'm at with The Middle. To put it in perspective, its outline totaled 60 pages or roughly about the final length of Din's POV in The Start. Several major scenes toward the end aren't written yet and two sub-plots have been cut so far, but the rough draft has still come to a whopping...91 pages. 😳 Or put another way, I hit 91 pages last night and I'm currently on page 29 of the outline (almost the midpoint).

So yeah! All that to say this sequel is turning out to be triple the size of The Beginning and its companion piece, The Start. To be honest, I'm kind of flummoxed at myself. I've never written something this extensive before! Hitting a story that will be over 100 pages has always been a dream of mine, and not only am I going to meet that goal, but I'm gonna shatter and surpass it. If the story reaches a length longer than the total of both its prequels, I might just faint, lol.

But what's next after I finish this rough draft? Well, if I complete it this year like I'm aiming for, then in 2023 I will do...

4. Re-Writes - This is where the real magic (and torture) happens. With the rough draft document on one side of my screen, I have a blank one on the other and I literally re-type everything in a technical format. Spacing is enforced, research is conducted, editing is done. This is probably the lengthiest and hardest part because of how sheer-ly time consuming it is. I've lost whole weeks to fact checking, acting out scenes in real life, reading dialogue out loud for clarity, discussing options with friends, and whatever else I can do to ensure that everything makes sense. It's not uncommon for me to do re-writes of the re-writes, either.

5: Final Draft - Similar to the above, the now individual chapters are on one side of my screen (usually after a short break to refresh) and I re-type everything in a blank document. It might sound excessive (because it is), but it's the only method I've found that's provided me the best results. In the past, I've made minor or no changes at all. Other times, I scrap whole paragraphs, catch several errors I missed previously, and so on. It can be hard to tell when a story has reached its peak, but the most common is when I'm just sick and tired of looking at it. If even after a couple days all I have left in me is to glance over it for obvious mistakes, then I'm probably as done as I'm going to get. 😝

That said, while the hardest and most challenging hurdles are ahead of me, I feel super pumped and positive about my developments thus far. This story is really shaping up, and I can't wait to be able to share it with everyone next year! With this lengthy explanation out of the way, I'll try and keep all of you in the loop as to how this and my other projects are going! I've got some other stories planned, but I want to make a separate list pertaining to them when I have the energy.

#NOTICES #my writing #snarechan's writing #the middle #the timeline (jedi-mando au)

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nyadversary · 2 years

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1 and 3 for writing ask memes!

1. give short descriptions of all your current WIPs.

the main original project i've been "working" on (i put that in quotes because this is still very much in the brainstorming stage — there is very little actually on the page yet, all i've got is notes) has gone through a variety of iterations in terms of general plot arc, but the basic premise right now (though this may change) is that it's about a writers' retreat/workshop type of program that the main characters attended as teenagers. i did a couple summer writing workshops myself as a high schooler hence the idea. the workshop happened a decade ago at the time the story starts, so the former participants are all in their mid-late 20s. they end up having an unofficial "reunion" of sorts. i'm being vague because i'm still figuring out the specifics and also the idea is that i'd reveal this gradually during the course of the story, but Something Happened during the first workshop and everyone who attended has been dealing in their own way with the aftermath of that. i'll leave it at that because this is already not a short description.

also i have a couple fanfics i've been working on occasionally; one of them i have about 11k words written (most of that is from when i started the fic back in 2014 lmao, but the last couple thousand are recent) and the other is also still in the brainstorming stage. the one i have 11k words of is a danganronpa fic that i actually plotted out a large amount of back in 2014; the basic idea is a protagonist/mastermind swap (though i guess it's actually a lot more complicated than that) and it's essentially an alternate timeline of the first game. the other one is also danganronpa, specifically sdr2, and it's sort of a similar alternate timeline idea. i just wanna write some fucking murder mystery bullshit i guess (also it's fun to play around with other people's characters)

3. what makes you love writing?

i'm not even sure that "i love writing" is how i'd put it, though that's not wrong either. the way i tend to think about it is more like... writing is something i feel the need to do, more along the lines of like a compulsive behavior. i don't feel as though i really have any choice in the matter. ever since i was a little kid i've devoted large amounts of my time to coming up with story ideas and (when i manage to) writing them down. from what i know this is fairly common with writers, i think it's also similar for those who write music or draw/paint or other forms of creative expression. it's something you just feel compelled to do. i do get an immense amount of satisfaction out of actually finishing something or getting substantial work done on a project, so i guess in a way i'm just always chasing that, but even during periods where i haven't gotten much writing done at all i'm thinking about it near-constantly.

i was also always a huge reader growing up, and i go fucking nuts about analyzing the fiction i enjoy, which probably stems directly from that. i would always reread books as a kid (often many, many times over) to catch the stuff i missed the first time, and i think that gave me a lot of appreciation for writing as a craft and has motivated me to hone my own skills in that department. good fiction (also bad fiction sometimes, especially if it still has some good elements that shine through) can have a profound impact on people — it certainly has on me — and that's what makes me feel as though this compulsion i have is worthwhile. i'm not sure that i'd ever be Successful Author material, that's all kind of a crapshoot anyway, but it is my hope that i'd be able to write something that means something to somebody, even if the audience winds up being small.

so i guess the tl;dr there is that i love writing as an art form because it's had a huge impact on me personally throughout my life. writing as an activity, though, i tend to think of more as like "me doing this is just how it is on this bitch of an earth."

#silverstreams #inbox #thanks for sending these!! sorry i rambled!! etc. i have had so much caffeine

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onyxoverride · 3 years

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-> Vote Results Mass Post & Announcement

Please Read, especially if you voted!

This doesn’t contain every single comment since I tried to summarize it a bit! Thank you all so much for voting!!!

I’ll be going over who won, what will happen with the votes, and responding to some stuff, etc!

Why am I not surprised? I've summoned all the Zeke Simps

I'll work on a Zeke Jaeger fic (probably submissive)

Then Reiner Braun, Sukuna, Porco Galliard, maybe Connie Springer (might turn into a drabble,) Naoya Zenin, and lastly Pieck Finger. In that order (again if everything goes according to plan!)

These characters I already have ideas for, that's why I put them in the vote!

Woof this one was a close call the whole time! I would check it and it would be at 50/50 but thankfully some votes broke the tie!

I'll be starting the series event soon! Already have some of the introduction written and I'll set up the masterpost for it! (Bear with me, there's a lot of characters and some don't get much love or any at all so...)

I'll be writting it and uploading it slowly... it's a big one for me yall.

Thank you for critiques! I got some questions:

How do you mean "masterlist at the top"? Masterlist at the top of fics or the top of navi? I put the Masterlist link at the bottom of fics so when their done reading they can just click!

I only put official fics in the masterlist! And I haven't updated the drabbles masterlist in a while because it's a lot! I hope this clears some stuff up! That's why I use the general tags like that to help, so when in doubt, use those!!

Yes! I like lowercase for stuff like when I say "warnings" and "note" but I also am very wary of when I'm writing to capitalize properly but I slip up every now and then!

The lettering that's hard to read- is it like this? 𝔵𝔶𝔷 that's hard to read or like this ? So I can fix something but some of it is just for fancy formatting!

Thank you to all of you who said they enjoy my theme or said everything was good!! I appreciate all the input and compliment!!

I don't think I'll ever write for Free! I remember watching is when I was younger but it just doesn't intrigue me anymore!

Step! Zeke is mwa, I love stepbro Zeke a lot.

Zeke as a teacher and with a high school student I'm not quite comfortable with but I do have Professor! Zeke as a WIP!! I hope that's satisfactory instead whenever I'm able to write it out!

Characters: Armin Arlert x2, Inumaki Toge x2, Jean Kirstein x3, Sukuna x2, Miche Zacharius, Yuta Okkatsu, Erwin Smith, Connie Springer, also I think 2 people said Naoya Zenin!

Kinks: watersports x3, femdom/domreader x3, breeding x2, cockwarming x2, size kink x2, edging x2, sleepy sex, somnophilia, spanking, role-playing, overstimulation, biting, hair pulling, thigh riding, spitting, finger sucking, cuckholding, Zeke Kink (all of us hheh) and blood kink.

I love all of these for the most part! Also I'm comfortable with writting blood and such! I have a love for blood so blood kink and such is amazing for me. All of these are A plus, you got it!

I'll take all of these into consideration!

Yall are really making me get teary-eyed, so sweet 🥺 I love you all so much!!

I'm so glad I can even interact with yall!! Thank you so much for calling me a safe space 🥺 I'll try to live up to that.

I'm glad my personality is okay!! Sometimes I'm like .. do I even have one LOL. And I try to answer asks with a decent answer because they're all juicy thoughts and thirsts!

I'm glad you like the font and pictures!! Sometimes editing them is hard but seeing the end result is fun hehe

I'm glad the tags are helpful!!! I try to be really good at it even if its a simple ask because sometimes short asks have really good points.

Zeke and Reiner are my babes I love them so much!! Im glad yall like my content 🥺

I'm so happy I can be relatively consistent! This blog makes me really happy so I try to put a bunch of effort into it!

I see I see, this makes sense since those are the fandoms I write the most for 😂 i need to write for MHA more but I'll probably start writing more when season 5 comes out so I can get back on the brainrot. I also forgot to add Chainsaw Man and Haikyuu but I write a little bit for those.

High Rise Invasion I've watched some because an anon recommended it and I may write for it, we'll see!

Overlord- I haven't watched it but it looks interesting, I may look into it!

Diamond of the Ace I've heard of and I may watch! Death Note I've seen and know but I dont think ill write for it

I won't write for Free! But Bleach is one of my favorite animes, I'm an old anime fan (old as in I've been watching anime for a very long time) and I'm even rewatching it! I'll even write for it if inspiration hits!! We can thirst over Bleach! In fact we have some Bleach stuff on my blog!

Again thank you so much for participating!! Trust me I've compiled all you have said and will refer back to them! I'll be answering asks this weekend and as much as I can (there's a lot) so no fic but I'll be writing as well so ;)

Also if I haven't answered your ask its not because I'm intentionally ignoring you, I just wanna gather my thoughts and answer with something substantial because yall got some juicy thoughts I love yalls noggins

mwamwamwamwa smooches for you all. Drink some water and eat a lil snack, stay healthy, love you!!

- 𝖔𝖓𝖞𝖝 (they/them)

#⚫.megaphone

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amixedwitch · 3 years

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AO3 Stats Game

Thanks for the tag @thusatlas

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

186,030 words (and counting).

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

One and it's Harry Potter! I'm thinking about perhaps doing Grishaverse or Narnia at some point in the future but I'm not sure yet!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Entanglement of Stars

The White-Winged Crane

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try my best to, especially if there's a question or like a reaction to a jaw-dropping moment. I need to actually respond to some 😅

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I suppose that The White-Winged Crane has an angsty ending because it's pretty obvious that tense times are ahead for Moira and Cedric. The Entanglement of Stars has its angsty moments but it's not going to be a happy ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not yet. The occasional Twilight/HP and Narnia/HP idea have popped up in my head but I'm not sure if I want to do that. I'd only do it if I felt that I had a sufficient idea.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, and I hope I never do lmao.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Oooh. I haven't but I really want to. The Entanglement of Stars will have smutty chapters (that will be marked NSFW for my minor readers). I'm planning on having each smut chapter be a definitive reflection of the dynamic between the couple in question.

Each entangled pair will have a smut scene at some point in the story. The adult pairs will get them sooner, and the other pairings will have them once they both turn 18+ in the story. It's intentionally a long fic so I will get to them with due diligence.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. I hope it never happens and I have ZERO tolerance for fic-theft.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but if anyone wanted to translate either of my fics, feel free to reach out!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I gotta admit that Dramione and NottPott are my faves. I also love a good Wolfstar fic! I haven't read Jegulus yet but I'd love to read any! I also just love Jily because ahhh my heart. Any ship with (fanon) Pansy intrigues me!

And I know that this is an extremely rare ship but I love Remus/Narcissa (especially with a happy ending)! Both individuals are intriguing so brought together and I strongly feel that they would make a great romantic and/or sexual pair. @dramionedaydream has a great fic with the ship!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I really want to complete what I am calling "The Moira Crane Trilogy". I thought I'd be done with it by now but then the foundational ideas that became The Entanglement of Stars popped up in my head and I've been running with it since. Hopefully, I get the immediate sequel published by the end of the year? Who knows. I will say that my writing in the sequel will be substantially better than TWWC... but I need to restudy OOTP since I really broke "canon" at the end of TWWC.

What are your writing strengths?

I do a fuck ton of research and world-building before establishing something in my story. Everything is planned ahead of time so I do my best to minimize plotholes in my fic.

I enjoy being very descriptive and I think I do a great job in making sure that each character's POV is unique. I pride myself on creating plot twists that are both shocking and logical in the grand scheme of the story.

I think I do a good job of keeping up the suspense and building curiosity. I know how to give enough information to let the readers draw the conclusions I want them to form. And I know which emotional buttons to push.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm a sucker for Happy Endings™️ and I don't like killing off characters. I'm an optimist, an escapist, and a hopeless romantic in my writing and I don't intend to change that soon.

I also overthink too much and sometimes it affects my publishing period for chapters.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I did some of Fleur's line in French with a dash of translation in The White-Winged Crane because I was trying to be cool and I wanted to break the horrible accent that JKR had in her version of The Goblet of Fire. (We all have our own versions of Harry Potter and that is my stance)

In The Entanglement of Stars, however, I just mention that the character is speaking in that language since the POV characters speak and/or understands the language in question.

I wrote Fleur's TWWC lines in French because I know the language. I note that Remus says a certain thing in Welsh (Yes, Remus is Welsh in my version of things) because I know nothing about the language and I'd rather not butcher it with a translator.

I say do what works for you + the story style... And make sure you know what you understand the translation and/or have someone who speaks the language do the translation for you.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter!

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

That's hard to say because I have two fics up so far and I love them both dearly! I would say that I love TWWC as a fluffy + simple fic and I love TEOS as a sophisticated + smarter fic.

Tagging: @ilguna @gxtitobxby @sarewolf @dramionedaydream @ouat-in-spare-oom-of-rivendell @ceruleanwhore and anyone who is interested in participating! all of my tags are open tags!

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kali-tmblr · 5 years

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The Narcissistic Parents: Parallels in the Lives of Jacques and Raven

(Sorry to take so long. I forgot how unpleasant it is to write about narcissists.)

Jacques and Raven are both narcissists who are also the parents of grown children. There's a lot we don't know about their pasts, but what we do know fits the narcissism pattern perfectly.

Narcissism is a combination of great egotism, inflexibility, and a complete lack of empathy and compassion. It seems to be caused by a lack of consistent attention growing up, leaving the person to believe that attention is a resource that can be fought for and won, and that other people are just obstacles in the way of that goal. We don't know anything about Jacques' past, but it's easy to believe that Raven encountered such conditions growing up in a bandit camp.

This next fact is something that people who haven't met a narcissist find hard to believe, and people who have one in their life that they want to have a relationship with find very, very hard to accept: narcissists see people as things, and they always will. It's not just that they "don't get it", they lack the ability to ever "get it". The connection can't be made because the connector isn't there. It just doesn't make sense to them. As far as the narcissist is concerned, being asked to not treat people as exploitable resources is like sitting a starving child in front of a plate of food and asking them not to eat. It's obvious the food is there to be eaten, and the resources (the people) are there to be exploited. To assume otherwise is stupid and actually offensive as far as the narcissist is concerned.

This condition is permanent. There is no "growing out of it". There is no deathbed conversion, unless it's a final performance for status points from a sympathetic audience. From personal experience I can say that while they're very likely to be bitter and angry at how ineffective their coping strategy has been on their deathbed, they still won't change it.

In recent years our culture has slowly come to comprehend that there are certain concepts that people with severe autism will never understand. We need to comprehend that narcissists have the same inability to understand empathy and compassion.

Narcissists can be very flamboyant in early adulthood, cutting quite a social swath with their combination of charismatic egomania and a willingness to buck convention out of a genuine lack of concern for the consequences of their actions on other people. This matches both what we know of Raven at Beacon and Jacques at the time of his marriage to Willow Schnee. Over time the people they knew in their youth usually come to see through them and distance themselves, which will leave the narcissist isolated and alone. The only solution for this is if they have reached a high enough social status that there will always be a fresh supply of willing syncophants to replace those they lose. Both Raven and Jacques have reached such a position, but the difference is that the later syncophants rarely form as strong a bond as the earlier ones did, before the narcissist developed a reputation as a user. This could prove especially damaging for Raven, as her ability to use people as teleportation anchors depends on her ability to form a close bond with them, which in a narcissist tends to diminish over time.

Narcissists can be socially useful. I once knew a narcissist who worked for the UN, using her overly aggressive personality to bully third-world leaders into complying with UNICEF, saving children's lives in the process. The high social status points she got from the work were enough to keep her at the task, although her husband had a full-time job managing other people's expectations that she be anything other than a bully. Their kids didn't come around anymore.

I think Ozpin had something similar in mind for Raven, hoping the high social status of being a Huntress would be enough to keep her at the job. It worked for a while, and might have worked longer if she hadn't found out that he had lied to her. Then again, there probably came a time when the allure of being a bandit queen simply won out over the drudgery of being a new mother. A bandit queen is always the center of attention, whereas a new mother must cede the spotlight to her baby.

But Jacques and Raven aren't simply narcissists, they are narcissistic parents, and that's a special kind of awful. There are distinct differences in healthy families and families of narcissists,and distinctive ways they damage those around them, especially children.

To the narcissistic parent, children, like all people, are things, either tools or obstacles/enemies. Tools fall into two categories, syncophants or scapegoats. In contrast, healthy families with children are designed to guide them on their path to becoming independent adults, with deference given to their personal wishes when doing so is realistic and appropriate. These different approaches cause some very distinctive differences in how healthy families and families of narcissists organize themselves.

A healthy family with children consists of a series of stepped barriers designed to protect the children from harm. The highest barrier is around the youngest children, keeping out much of the outside world and even protecting them from harm from older siblings. As the children age and become more competent, the barriers gradually lower.

There is also a barrier between the children and the parents/caregivers. For the safety of the children certain topics are not discussed in their presence and certain pieces of information are withheld from them.

We see an example of a family with healthy boundaries in the Xiao Long household. Ruby mentions in the third episode that the girls were sheltered from boys at a younger age. We find out in the third season that Tai and honorary caregiver Qrow have conspired to hide information about her mother from Yang, fearing another incident like the one that nearly killed the girls early on. Even when Yang is considered old enough to be told the truth, Qrow still holds back telling her so as not to distract her from her normal life, only revealing it when she needs a distraction after being disqualified from the Vytal Festival Tournament. Qrow also mentions having "a number of inappropriate stories" he could tell about their parents now that the girls are grown or nearly grown, but lets the subject drop when they express disinterest.

Narcissistic families are organized for the benefit of the narcissist. Other family members orbit the narcissist like planets orbit a star. They occupy roles assigned to them by the narcissist, in different variations of syncophant and scapegoat, with the syncophants usually, but not always, kept closer. They are controlled through manipulation, which may take the form of either flattery or threats, but always contains an element of coercion. The children are used as tools to accomplish the goals of the narcissist, and information is withheld from them or provided to them in the service of these goals, without any consideration for whether or not it is age-appropriate,or whether they express actual interest. Internal barriers are minimal or non-existent. External barriers exist to protect the narcissist, not the children.

Growing up with narcissist parents/caregivers leaves marks on a child's psyche. The biggest one is a lack of self worth and self-confidence. In extreme forms this deficit can lead to an individual who lacks an internal compass and who must rely on others to tell them right from wrong. It also leads to an individual who has difficulty connecting to other people. These tendencies can take various forms, including but not limited to the Perfectionist, the People-Pleaser, the Rebel, the Observer, and the Manipulator.

Jacques has three biological children, Winter, Weiss, and Whitley. Raven has one biological child, Yang; and two defacto foster children, Vernal and the previous Spring Maiden.

When speaking of and to their children, both Raven and Jacques are bored and disinterested in them as people. They show no interest in them unless their children can be used to their benefit. The emotion they express the most in regard to them is annoyance. No matter how much their children accomplish, they never once express pride in them. Nor do they ever show love or tenderness towards them. This is in marked contrast to the concern, pride, and love that the Belladonnas show Blake, and that Tai and Qrow show Yang and Ruby.

Yang is more affected by Raven's abandonment than by her direct narcissism, so the damage done to her was indirect, but still substantial. The writers have said they will address that issue in V7.

We don't know much about Raven's relationship with the last Spring Maiden. Raven took her in, trained her, and murdered her for reasons which Raven is vague about, but probably had to do with Raven nearing the upper age limit for inheriting the power. I used to say that Raven was a better parent than Jacques because she removed her toxic presence from Yang's vicinity, but Jacques hasn't committed filicide -- yet.

Vernal is a perfect syncophant to Raven, loyal until death and only concerned with "family", i.e. what Raven wants. Cinder even compliments Raven in front of Vernal on how well Raven has "conditioned" Vernal.

All of the Schnee children appear to have self-esteem issues. All of them seem to have been syncophants at one point in time, although the girls may now be scapegoats. Certainly Ironwood is the scapegoat blamed for "stealing" Winter away from Jacques (because of course she would not have left him of her own free will!)

From what we have seen of her Winter has Perfectionist tendencies. When she arrived at Beacon Weiss had both Perfectionist and some Manipulator tendencies, although those have lessoned since Volume 1. Whitley seems to be manifesting Manipulator tendencies. He appears to be the most damaged of the siblings and also the most terrified, judging by the look on his face immediately after Jacques struck Weiss. Unlike the girls, he would have been subjected to Jacques' undivided attention after they left, and as I blogged earlier, I suspect Jacques may be planning to use the Aura transfer technology to take over Whitley's body at some point in the future.

A lot of people want Jacques to acknowledge what he's done, break down, and beg for forgiveness. This is unrealistic. A narcissist never does that unless they are backed into a corner and performing for an audience, and even then it's just a performance.

What I would like to see is the Schnees get out from under Jacques' thumb -- physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. This won't happen without a fight. He already set the Armor Gigas on Weiss to stop her from leaving the first time. He'll no doubt employ more and dirtier tricks next time.

(I'm leaving Salem and Cinder out of this discussion because I'm not entirely convinced they are narcissists as opposed to some other malignancy. Salem isn't an egomaniac. Cinder is certainly an egomaniac and probably a narcissist, but the jury's still out.)

Next up in the Parallels series will be Sisters or Heirs, followed by Drunkards and Scapegoats. They should all be much shorter.

(Art not mine.)

#rwby #rwby thoughts #rwby theory #jacques schnee #raven branwen #ruby rose #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #rwby winter #winter schnee #whitley schnee #taiyang xiao long #qrow bronwyn #qrow branwen #rwby qrow

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