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#esp when she was already on my mind
yukinyaminyato · 1 year
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dutybcrne · 2 months
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Kaveh definitely wants at least one child of his own. Partially to continue his family line, partially bc he himself loves the idea of having a family of his own. He would however like to move out of Alhaitham’s place before he even dares consider getting a partner to begin with. And the longer he stays there, the more stress he feels thinking about it. He even has sketched out nursery ideas and plans on how to raise them all set to go, if only he'd get out of debt fast enough-
Furina also really wants to have a child of her own. She adores seeing the families around Fontaine, and has dreamed a great deal what parenthood would be like. Nothing brings her joy than when children about Fontaine invite her to join in on the little games they are playing, leaving her giddy and smiling bright as sunshine on her way home. Of course she knows that to be a parent, she really has to get her shit together. One can't just rear a child on macaroni and residual payments, after all.
#hc; kaveh#//Mans is stressing#//He’s like ‘I’m damn near pushing 30; I should have my life together by now aaAAAA’#//Do like the idea of Haitham & Kaveh coparenting though#//Them raising a kid together; be it romantically/qp involved or just like#//Some Full House situation type beat lol#//Haitham does like helping kiddos learn after all. And it would make SO much a lot easier for Kav#//Kaveh would preferably want an even number of kids if he has a partner; so they don't ever feel lonely#//If it's just him & his kiddo; then yeah; he's a little more fine w only one. But he really wants them to have someone to fall back on jic#hc; furina#//She's had thoughts of having children of her own for damn near 500 years#//Which she knew would be Impossible; her role came first and foremost#//But now that she's free from that obligation; the thoughts came welling back up#//It's not entirely why she wants to stand on her own right and get better at so many things; but it is part of it#//She'd love the idea of having her own little family at last#//Though her Salon Solitaire buddies will have to do djbhgjfd#//She doesn't actually know how many she wants tho; maybe one if she's single; but whatever her partner is down for; she would be too#//She would be such a doting mom hjcbffg#//She genuinely wouldn't even mind not having a partner if it came down to it. She will most certainly be able to handle a kiddo on her own#//She thinks that; yet she also most certainly get overwhelmed Real quick at first#//Esp since she'd be such a sympathetic crier when it comes to her babu. & bc she already feels the urge to cry when frustrated#//But she would try her best#//Would absolutely consult with The Gals each and every time she needs anything#//Deffo would be the type to get matching outfits for her and her kid jffghh
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rotturn · 1 year
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#negative cw#i am feeling. very not good#every day we go to restaurants where there's nothing on the menu i can eat bc all ive been able to manage lately is soup#or sometimes mash potato and gravy but like. its gotta be a Good day and i have not had good days in a While#so i just sit and have nothing while they eat then down an entire block of white chocolate as soon as we get home bc its my comfort food#and like. i dont mind not eating at a restaurant or whatever im cool to chill and chat while someone eats it doesnt bother me#its just when theyre doing it every day and getting annoyed when I say i dont want anything as if they don't already know#mixed w the fact that my sister has been constantly unbearable its just been Rough#esp since we share a room#and we've been having issues w our accommodation in new york but i think hopefully it'll be sorted#im just exhausted and stressed all the time and there's no end in sight#and this trip has just made me aware of how much i do not feel loved by the people who should make me feel loved#like i love my mom and she does her best and she does make me feel better but sometimes shes a part of the problem#and i have support at home my roommates are so good for me but. theyre not here#and i feel shit every time i tell my roommate how i feel bc this is a once in a lifetime trip that she may never have a chance to take#and it makes me feel so guilty and selfish to not enjoy this but its so hard to enjoy#that one week where we were on the boat and i could have multiple soups a day was the only time i was happy#and its because i wasnt constantly starving and we didnt have stress about luggage or where we're staying#but ever since its just been constant stress and anxiety and hunger#and like. theres nothing i can really do ab any of it bc seeking out something i need means they dont get to do something they want#and i cant take what my sister wants away from her bc she'll throw a fit#mum says the usa will be ab me more but i know it wont be. i know exactly how it'll work#i will not have a chance to rest and be happy until im home and even then i have to find a job as soon as im back#bc i have bills and rent and i only budgetted enough for a month after i get back and that's with barely any groceries#and i get the feeling my roommates mad at me or upset ab something but i don't know how to approach it bc im on the other side of the world#and idk i feel like its me i feel like i did something wront#im just tired and sad and hungry all the time#but that's just. kinda my life innit#i just wish. people weren't upset with me all the time. i try so hard not to upset people but nothing i do ever seems good enough#i just want to be good enough. but i know im not.
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henswilsons · 2 years
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i was meant to going up to visit one of my friends tomorrow but she just tested positive for covid :’((
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kuiinncedes · 2 years
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me going from being bored in my house all day to bored in my apartment by myself all day wow 😍
#i have no idea where my roommate is also i still like dont know ... how to live w a roommate i guess lol like#i would like to know if ur not gonna be here at night ...... esp when it's just us two in the apartment rn but anyway#i texted her last night when i was going to sleep and i was like hey dw about turning on the light and stuff if u get back when i'm asleep#lol and then she didn't come back and she hasn't responded :P ik she's been helpign friends move in and stuff#bruh i helped my brother move in yesterday and i was kinda like so jealous that he has his group of friends here#whereas i moved in and i didn't know anyone in my building and i hadn't rly talked to the ppl from my high school in a yr#and i like kinda panicked abt being alone a little bit but he has all his friends and i'm happy for him but bitch when can that be me#but also like he and his friends are all in the same residence hall and i was thinking like i can already tellllll y'all are gonna be the#guys being loud talking in the hallways at night lmfao#anwyay#i'm gonna try to do some research work since i don't have plans until the evening lmao thank god i have shit to do tomorrow XD#i don't mind being alone at all i do kinda like it but the fact that ig i could much more easily be out doing stuff w friends or something#more easily than at home anyway idk why do i keep doing posts like this lmao#jeanne talks#ALSO I GOT A COUPLE OF THOSE RLY NICE ASKS SAYING LIKE LIST 5 THINGS YOU LOVE OR WHATEVER I WILL ANSWER THEM AT SOME POINT I PROMISE#idk things i love apparently lmfao#IN CASE I FORGET AND DON'T ANSWER THEM SOON THO ILY THANK U <3
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cats-in-the-clouds · 15 days
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my sister got engaged and we’re all really happy for her but my bitter rain cloud of a dad (who naturally she told last) is giving her a bit of passive aggressive grief about it despite her boyfriend being like the best man of our generation (presumably either because he’s not catholic or because my dad sees them as young dumb unemployed people who aren’t ready for marriage or because he’s mad he barely has any real love with his own wife or something). so like pray for us? i wish i knew what to do
#if my dad had any brain cells or observational skills whatsoever#he’d realize that in terms of our faith the problem is not the boyfriend. that guy is brilliant and open minded and would probably ace RCIA#the problem is my sister. who is catholic in name but it’s clear to me how hard she’s fallen away from the faith#but like my dad has created such a bitter home environment we never have meaningful conversations with him#so like he doesn’t know *anything* about our inner lives#all he sees is labels. all he judges people by is labels#literally you can still get married in the church to a non catholic it’s just a matter of expecting them to convert eventually#and promising to still live according to the principles of the church and raising your children as such#but my parents are absolute fools if they think that’s the issue. if my sister was true in her faith her bf would have converted already#i am sure of it. the guy is smart he just needs to be guided the right way#evidently my parents don’t realize that about him either#if my dad could become a decent parent for once and stop trying to drive his kids away from the faith by only cherrypicking the parts of it#that intersected with republican/conservative boomerisms#ugh. if he was a virtuous father she’d be a virtuous daughter and therefore all her friends and loved ones would be virtuous as well#should i blame my dad for all our family problems? no.. not rightfully……#but like. the impact a father has on one’s life cannot be understated#ugh i’ve had the sense for a while that God wants me to be the one to fix this family#because looking around it doesn’t look like anyone else is gonna do it#but that’s such a daunting task… especially alone… i don’t have any true friends (ie who share both my faith and life experiences)#and like. it’s really hard to try to assume the role of a teacher or counselor when someone is older than you#or uh. in a position of direct power over you for that matter. esp when clearly deeply mentally ill#the concept of trying to essentially parent my own parent while i myself am miserable and unstable#esp when he is the primary cause of that#just. ughhhhh it’s such a vicious circle#like i’ll do this if i have to i’ll undertake that daunting mission but i have to be so careful and really sort myself out first#or for that matter if i were to volunteer to like. catechize my sister’s boyfriend (heaven knows she couldn’t do it)#i’d have to really study my stuff bc i think the intellect is the only real appeal here#like i said tho his conversion can probably never really happen as long as my sister remains the way she is#what i know is that the first step is fixing myself. i have to be a pillar of virtue if i wanna stand as any sort of authority on the faith#problem is i suck and shouldn’t be regarded as a role model for anything. i have the knowledge down but that alone won’t fix me
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gibbearish · 1 month
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ok i finished the first chapter and am gonna take a break now but im v excited to keep reading im really liking the way the author looks at things so far
#there are parts ive kinda disagreed with either what shes saying or how shes saying it but i mean given the whole point of the book i doubt#that the author would take offense at that and would in fact encourage it esp given that its a book and not a convo#like. i should hope i have some disagreements with just the introductory chapter‚ she hasnt had a chance to fully explain herself yet and#i feel like having a written record of my disagreement before potentially changing my mind is very much in the spirit of the ideas this book#is offering yknow#like at one point shes talking about religious perspectives on wrongness and says some scholars believe its abt like#our wrongness comes from eden‚ our lack of understanding of absolute right and wrong that god has#but its like. ok but the whole point with the garden of eden was that the lack of knowledge of right and wrong /was/ the extra knowledge#god had and we didnt that prevented us from sinning#eating of the tree and Gaining the knowledge of good and evil was what gave humans the ability to sin in the first place#because if we cant know something is wrong and choose to do it anyways then what is the sin?#its like how with animals we don't see them killing each other as wrong#because they dont have 'morals' like we do‚ they dont have a sense of right vs wrong so the things they do cant be classified that way#so idk if its like. thats just a difference in how my church taught us vs the scholars the author checked out#or just like. a misunderstanding in the story of eden?#i just dont get presenting eden as the example for 'we dont have the knowledge of right and wrong god does so thats what makes us able to#do wrong' when the whole thing with that story was like.#gaining the knowledge of right and wrong was what gave us that ability. like thats just backwards#(also disclaimer that i am not a christian and do not actually believe in these things‚ im just using the language as if i do here to kinda#speak from the perspective of my past self who /did/ believe it)#so im excited to find out if like. shes gonna expand further on that (next chapter is abt history so maybe) and ill be like#ohhhhh ok i see what that meant#or if ill be like 'hm yeah you just maybe had a misconception abt how the garden of eden story worked'#and like i can kinda see room for the first one already in that it said like 'we dont have gods /absolute/ knowledge of right and wrong'#so theyre saying like. we were given /some/ of the knowledge of good and evil‚ but that that in and of itself didnt /actually/ bring us up#to gods understanding of it#idk its been a while since i reread the bible‚ i do kinda remember there being a second tree? but i dont think it was like#'tree of full onniscience' i thought it was the tree of eternal life or smth#or maybe im just mixing up the bible and the narnia remix of it? i know there is a tree of eternal life in the magicians apprentice#origibberish
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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SO FUNNY I was just about to write in complaining that I got sick a day after you posted your last comic... I caught it... yet I don't have an Arakawa to take care of me... [<- I started writing this when you answered my last ask]
OH BUT NO WORRIES AT ALL I always love reading your responses and these were no exception :) It really means the world to me to have you guys listen! I believe I've [probably] mentioned the headcanon is a bit personal [In Other Words projection galore but. Believable Enough. Please DO dare to think... It'll work out...]; I was more or less expecting to keep it to myself forever because I felt the Venn Diagram of people who would know what I'm talking about and be interested had no overlap. I'm incredibly grateful to be able to have these talks and the assurance that's not the case :) and also I just kinda don't wanna Mansplain Jo To You so I'm glad that doesn't seem to be the case as well
AND I MEAN... LOL... LMAO EVEN...
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it would be a pretty fair to pursue that line of thinking given he has both visible symptoms of sleep deprivation and things to lose sleep over... reminded of Debt [TWISTING AND WAILING AND CONVULSING] but also the counterpart to Matrophobia you were thinking about...
I absoluuuutely get what you mean by the mirror thing too I see you in the kitchen I smell what you're cooking... same here... very excited to see what he's like when he doesn't have to be a bullet as well... here are those for the sake of completion [If I May I think perhaps he wouldn't feel the need to change his name, just feel a disconnect if it's his father's family name and/or his given name was chosen by his father. Like an ambivalent Aoki I guess; he knows he'll answer to it so why fix what ain't broke and "inconvenience others"...]
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SORRY FOR RAMBLING MYSELF HGLDJLKDJG again No Worries At All since you shouldn't be saying much with your Gameritis anyway... I hope your wrist gets better soon, rest up and take care!
NOT MY SILLY COMIC GIVIN YOU THE FLU (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) hope youre doin better now gettin sick SUCKS (╯x╰ )
oh but yaya of course : i have a cockroach for a brain so im glad star can supplement a lot more valuable commentary (╯▽╰ ) even if i have bugs for brains im still happy to see what you (and star should they write again) have to say :)
#snap chats#my only contributions to anything is illustration and now im gettin people sick 😩 horrendous..#in any case... as a serial Nightmare Haver its only logical id inevitably project that onto people in Way Worse situations than i#if im upset bout the littelest things then i can only IMAGINE The Horrors with what jo- not to mention arakawa- have to deal with#jo esp when he outright confessed to being haunted by masato's outburst for. 'Who Knows How Long'#And Lest I Neglect Ikumi. she also gotta have it bad... everyone gets nightmares its like an episode of oprah in my mind..#oh but i dont think you mentioned it was a personal topic- i had A Feeling tho thats also why i feel unprepared to touch on it#i generally try not to talk bout things i dont know about and while i know SOME things i certainly wouldnt want to start gettin into it#esp if someones dealt with it themselves i dont wanna say nothin STUPID. more than usual anyway#not without doing studying beforehand with a sensitive topic as such BUT LIKE I SAID im still very much open to listening#onto topis i am familiar with.. i GUESS..i still very much think of jo's potential fear of ending up like his dad#i just wish i knew what to do with the idea.. again my brain is very small and ive accepted that bout myself. at most i can draw but that i#on that note tho About His Name. yeah not many notes on that LMAO I Agree in other words#esp at his age its just a. Well I'll Die Soon Anyway There's No Point In Changing and the whole#The Few People Who Know Me Already Know Me By This So I Shouldnt#just sort of something to be numb to by this point#anyhow... i think thats all my gumball dome can rattle out... now to . drastically shift the tone of my blog with a post BYE TY FOR WRITIN#i always feel bad for apologizing since apologies are like promises and Apparently Im Very Bad At Keeping Promises so.#Forgive Me for having pool noodles for braincells.. i can only try to make up for it with works...#works that I Hope do convey the fact i Try to think and i take everythin sent to me to heart..#ok bye bye i TRULY must get moving along (╯▽╰ ;;)
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beescake · 3 months
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PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU
HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂
also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read
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i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.
sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.
and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.
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aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me
how much more. raw it is
to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about
with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note
because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.
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it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going
and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.
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or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.
sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.
and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.
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i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.
there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.
contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.
her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.
there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo
with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.
the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.
unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.
however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.
their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.
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taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.
even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.
but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.
to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.
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and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.
i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.
idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.
i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.
to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.
back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.
but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.
no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.
even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.
not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.
it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.
but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.
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sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.
but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck
lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.
hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.
ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.
maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.
and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.
they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.
they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.
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optional post-canon segment:
one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).
hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.
that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again
but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.
it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it
idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible
srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)
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mt-oe · 2 months
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𝙎𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙖 𝙃𝙤𝙩—bandmate mizu
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
Hey dears!
I'm so so sorry for not being able to keep up with requests that well. My program is taking a lot of my time and beating the shit out of me (esp. u immunology and serology >:c).
Anyways, here's a sort of prequel for my headcanons because band au Mizu is so yummy.
Enjoy! Mwa mwa:*
warning: not proofread, she/her for mizu, will refer to her as a boy (bc she canonically appears like a man), implied afab reader
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"But you're so good at playing the guitar, and you have the charisma too. You should definitely join our band. Even our manager is amazing. She—"
"For the last time, Ringo. I don't want to join your stupid band."
Mizu and Ringo were already getting ready to go home after finishing their term-end project for their elective, which just so happened to be music. She didn't really think it through when she enlisted and just picked whichever she thought was the easiest. Ringo, however, just picked the same elective as Mizu.
She carefully placed her electric guitar in its case, zipping it up and securing the locks before slinging it over her shoulder. "I have better things to do and joining a band is a waste of time," she added as she walked up to the door.
Ringo followed after her, a smile still on his face despite the rejection. "You never know. This might even be your calling," he chimed as they exited the room, making her groan out of annoyance. They headed into the parking lot where Mizu's bike was parked. "We have an audition in a week if you want," he said, waiting for his friend to put on her helmet.
Once Mizu was finished putting on her helmet, she hopped on and leaned forward, pushing her weight to retract the center stand. "Not interested," she groaned out, slightly muffled behind her helmet. Her foot kickstarted the bike on before she revved the engine up a bit.
"Well if you decide to change your mind, just send me a message." Ringo stepped back a bit to give Mizu some space to move. She grunted in response and drove forward, leaving her friend waving and shout goodbyes at her.
What's so great about joining a stupid band anyway?
It's probably just filled with pretentious kids pretending to be as good as their idols but can't even memorize which strings their hammer ons should be.
Another groan escaped her lips the more she thought about the offer. It was annoying. Yet, a somehow, a small part of her wanted to play even more. The desire ringing at the back of her head like an itch she couldn't scratch off.
What if she did join?
What if it was as much fun as Ringo always said it was?
A sigh escaped her lips at how bothered she was by her thoughts. Why was she even thinking about this? She can always play her instruments at home. A crowd wouldn't make a difference, she thought as the wind whizzed past.
Her thoughts continued to race as she drove home. This band thing was stupid. Maybe she shouldn't attend the audition after a—
"Hey goofy boy!" a voice called out.
'What? Me?' she thought, lifting her visor to look around for the source of the voice. Across the stoplight, she saw another woman waving at her enthusiastically. It was almost ridiculous to look at. She raised an eyebrow, looking at her sides and behind her to see if you were talking to someone else before pointing to herself inquisitively.
"Yes you! Across the stoplight! C'mere!" you yelled, signaling her to stop in front of the cafe you were standing in front of, not really caring if other people were looking at you with how silly you were being.
Her blue eyes narrowed at you, clearly suspicious of your intentions. And yet, the way you were smiling and calling her over made her feel...something. Once the light turned green, she drove over to you, pulling up at the lot in front of the cafe.
You walked over to her, letting out a sigh of relief as she kicked the side stands on. "What do you want?" she asked in a low voice that clearly indicated that she didn't trust you even one bit.
"That.." You pointed to the guitar case on her back, making her raise an eyebrow cautiously. What did you want with her baby huh? She was so ready to throw hands.
"What model? And how long have you been playing?" you asked, still pointing to her guitar. Mizu looked over her shoulder being sighing. This was a waste of time. "I'm not inclined to tell you that," she replied, getting ready to kick her side stands off.
You snorted at her cold reply before leaning closer until she was face-to-face with you no matter how much she pulled away. The proximity allowing her to take in your features better and you were quite...pretty?
No. Wait.
Let's focus on how much of nuisance you were being.
Before she could even kick off her side stands, you already blocked her foot with yours. "Join our band," you said in a serious tone, showing her a business card before placing it in her jacket, smile still on your face.
Mizu groaned and rolled her eyes. "No. Now get your foot off before I kick it off," she replied. Yet, you kept your foot in the way of her stands, making her eyebrows knit together. "You look really goofy riding that bike of yours with a huge ass guitar case on your back," you said, eyes glancing at her guitar case before staring into her eyes intently. "You have talent, don't you?"
The smile on your face despite how serious and forward you were being was unnerving. "So what? I'm not going to join your band," she said in a low voice. Indeed, she was quite stubborn, but nowhere near your level. This motorist was the diamond in the rough you were looking for. "Goofy boy, join me in the café. It's my treat."
There was no way she's going into that café just for you to give her your sales talk and convince her to join your stupid unknown band. Not in a million years
—was what she thought.
Yet here she was, helmet off and sitting in front of you with a cup of matcha latte, watching you take a bite out of the cake you bought for yourself. After taking a slow sip, she sighed and narrowed her eyes at you. "I thought we were here talk about your band," she scoffed.
You smiled at her yet again, fork still in between your lips. "You're not going to talk right away, right? So let's take our time." A small 'tch' escaped her lips as she leaned back against the chair.
"Fine. I'll talk," she replied, staring at you up and down. Now that she was able to sit down and relax the tiniest bit, she was finally taking her time to look at you. And you weren't an eyesore at all. In fact, you were really fucking cute.
She's still not joining your band though.
A small giggle escaped your lips as you placed the fork down, resting your elbows on the table and intertwining your fingers together. "What model?" you asked, eyes darting to the guitar case beside your table.
Mizu glanced at it as her hands wrapped around the handle of her cup. "A les paul," she replied before taking a sip. Your smile widened before you took a sip from your cup as well, setting it down when she set hers down. "How long have you been playing?"
"Long enough," she replied, glancing at you, rolling her eyes at how you stared at her with curiosity, as if coercing her to tell more. "Fine, fine...before I started high school. I think. Maybe even longer."
You hummed in satisfaction and took another bite out of your cake. "Any other instruments?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow back at you. "A bass. A mustang."
Silence washed over both of you as you continued to eat your cake, making her feel a bit nervous. A small clink was heard as you put your fork down after taking your final bite. "What's your name, goofy boy?"
"Mizu," she replied before taking her drink into her hands. She downed it in one go, placing the cup down and picking her guitar case up. "This is pointless. I'm leaving," she said in a low husky voice, getting ready to stand up.
It was clear to her that she shouldn't have given so much time to you. She wasn't even interested in joining. Maybe if you weren't so cute, she wouldn't have tried to hear you out.
Before she can even stand up, you beat her to it, pushing her back down on the chair gently. Her eyes widened ever so slightly as you leaned forward again.
"I'll make you a star."
Huh?
Her clear surprise and confusion made you giggle. What the hell were you talking about? You pulled away and placed your hands on your hips, giving her a confident smile.
"Talent recognizes talent, Mizu. It may not be now, but I'll make you a star," you beamed.
Mizu blinked before scoffing. "That's ridiculous," she sneered before standing up and putting her helmet on. "For the last time, I'm not fucking joining your stupid audition."
Was what she said.
But here she was, a week later, sitting down inside the studio hallway. Her eyes watched as the auditionees chatted amongst themselves. Those who were done with the audition complaining about how strict the judge was, who she learned was just one person.
Her nerves were sending jitters to the tips of fingers, her throat tightening up slightly in anticipation. She closed her eyes and took a deep inhale before exhaling slowly. Just as she opened her eyes, she jumped slightly at the sight of a familiar pair of feet in front of her.
"I knew you were going to change your mind," her friend's voice chimed.
Looking up, she made eye contact with Ringo who was beaming at her, drumsticks tied to his stubby hands. "But how did you know where our studio is?"
This was the band Ringo was talking about? Oh boy.
She grunted and handed him the business card you snuck into her jacket. "The address is written there," she said with a sigh. He let out a small "oh" before his eyes widened even more. "So you've met her before," he replied cheerfully, handing the business card back.
"Who?" she asked, a serious yet curious look on her face. He looked confused for a moment before he replied, "Our manager. The one who handed you that card?" She wanted to ask more questions, but then a voice suddenly called for the drummer. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta go. Bye!"
Upon Ringo leaving, Mizu sat back down and closed her eyes again, resting her elbows on her knees.
Some time later, all the auditionees had finished and yet, it seems that all of them had been rejected. "This is a waste of time. I should have left earlier," she muttered to herself.
Just as she was about to leave the studio, her name was called, leaving her with no choice. Slowly, she entered the room only to be greeted with—
"You came!" your voice beamed.
Her eyes scanned around the room to see you sitting down on a chair, holding some papers, as well as the other band members presumably. "And you're the manager apparently," she said plainly. A chuckle escaping your lips as you nodded. "You can get ready whenever you want to."
Once her guitar was plugged in and ready to go, she looked up at you again, waiting for any further instructions. Despite her mind telling her that there was nothing to be nervous about, her gut was squeezing and churning from anticipation.
Should she do her best? Or should she fuck this up?
Your eyes watched her carefully, observing how she handled her guitar. "Play any song you'd like," you said, leaning forward in your seat as you set the papers down on a chair beside you.
No. She didn't want to be in this stupid band. She's not going to do her best.
Why the fuck would she do that?
This wasn't even worth it.
Nononononononono—
She looked down on her guitar before beginning to strum the familiar intro of Smells Like Teen Spirit. Despite her bobbing her head slightly, it was clear through her body language that she wasn't even trying at all.
The smile on your face slowly disappeared until all that was left was an unreadably neutral expression. Once she was done, she looked at you with a bored expression. "Well?"
You sighed at her, giving her the same bored expression back, making her smirk a bit. "Guess I'm not in, am I?" She unplugged her guitar, getting ready to put it back in the case before your hands stopped her.
"Sit back down. We're not done," you said in a serious tone, facial expression neutral yet your eyes told her that you were daaaaaaaamn annoyed with how little of an effort she put in. The look in your eyes, they way you were gripping the neck of her guitar, did something to her. "I don't owe you a performance," she replied.
You glared at her lightly before snatching her guitar from her hands, causing her to glare at you. She tried to grab her guitar back but you kept evading her as you plugged it back in. Once it was plugged back on, you pushed towards her, making her stumble back a bit from how harsh you did it.
"Now sit down and play. Talent recognizes talent, Mizu," you growled at her. The scene causing everyone in the room to go quiet. It was clear to them that you were pissed. "If not, then sell that guitar. You're wasting it."
After all, the only thing you hated more than the equipment suddenly breaking was wasted potential. And Mizu was wasting a LOT of potential.
Your words struck a nerve in her causing her. With a loud screech, she pulled the chair towards her and sat down. "Fine. If it gets you to shut the fuck up."
She looked at you with one final glare as she leaned back, hands beginning to move against her guitar.
She began playing Hotel California, immediately skipping to the guitar rift at the end of the song.
By the normal person's ear, it wasn't anything special. There were more impressive sounding songs out there. But to you, you knew how difficult it was to get the tone of the song right with how slow it was compared to other rifts. If she made a mistake here, a wrong pluck, a wrong drag, a wrong vibrato, the mistake would be so painfully obvious.
And yet, here Mizu was, playing it perfectly with the same angry look on her face. She was damn mad at you for touching her guitar, for pushing her towards your stupid fucking band. And yet, she couldn't help but want to impress you.
Did she really not want to be in the band?
Why was she trying so fucking hard then?
Like her body was moving on its own.
Like her hands were itching to play more.
As she ended the song, she looked down at the ground. Suddenly, the sound of clapping caused her to perk up and look at you. The sight causing her breath to hitch a blush to dust over her cheeks. That was when she knew the answer to her question.
It was you and your proud little smile.
That cute fucking smile.
All the annoyance and anger you held at her melted off during her little performance. You knew you saw talent. The moment you saw that goofy looking motorist with the awkwardly large hard guitar case at the stoplight, talent already hit you like a damn truck.
Although she knew you were satisfied with her performance, she couldn't help but want to try more. She'll try. She'll damn try for the hottest fucking manager she has ever seen. Her earlier hesitations of whether she wanted to join the band or not disappearing.
Call it a gay agenda but she was going to secure this fucking spot. She'll be best fucking guitarist you have ever heard or seen.
Just as you were about to congratulate her, she raised a hand up to cut you off. "Wait—fuck—that was too easy. I... goddamnit. Wait, I'll try doing something harder," she said in a panicked slur.
Her hands immediately went back to her guitar, eyes narrowing in thought. If an impressive guitar rift was what she needed...
Suddenly, she began playing the guitar rift for Free Bird. Eyes glued to her guitar, palms sweating a bit as she hit every chord, every pluck, every fucking bend.
You couldn't place your finger on what it was, but somehow, it felt like she was playing more passionately. Like she was putting her all into this one song. Was it the way she was bobbing her head? Or the way she moved her guitar during every vibrato? Maybe the way her body moved with the music?
Once the song ended, she closed her eyes and let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. You couldn't help but giggle at how flustered she looked, making her blush again.
"Am I in?" she asked, looking at you with hidden desperation in her eyes, making you giggle even more. Her eyebrows furrowed as you continued to laugh, not really answering her question. "Well?"
A gulp went down her throat as you stood up from your chair and picking up the papers you previously held. "Mizu," you giggled out, "You were already in from the moment you tried again."
...
oh
Well that was embarrassing.
You handed her the contract and a pen, humming as she read the content before signing. Looking at her signature, your smile widened. This flustered looking guitarist was exactly what you were looking for and you just hit jackpot.
"You won't regret this, Mizu. I swear." She glanced at you, scanning the big smile you had on your face before looking down at her guitar and unplugging it. "I better not."
Suddenly, you lunged forward at her. Her eyes widened when you suddenly took her hand in yours, intertwining your fingers together. "Talent recognizes talent," you repeated, leaning closer to her, grip tightening with every word.
"I'll make you a star."
She'll be your star.
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all444miles · 11 months
Note
can you please do 42!miles with a baddie like a Megan type vibe? SHE HAS A PINK JEEP
💗💗💗💗
— SHE A BADDIE
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— pairing: e42!miles x fem!black!reader — genre: fluff — summary: what its like for 42 miles to date a reader with a "baddie like megan" vibe. — a/n : i felt like i was a lil lazy writing this, sorry ! can yall tell i got excited abt the jeep n the attitude part.. its litch what kept me writing this whole thing 😭 also, a car creeper is those lil things u slide under to fix the underside of ur car — a/n 2: changed the way i start writin a jus a lil, petition for head over heels 42 miles supremacy !! + this was so fun.. like i was writing this n i was like "lemme be this when i grow up" LMAOOO so ty for the request anonnn, mwah and enjoy !!
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MILES FALLS IN LOVE with you every second. like, honestly, just do anything, he's wrapped around your finger.
maybe he'll try and hide it, but you make him fold 24/7. you dont even have to do nothing.
it's just something about your energy, the way you dont give a damn about nothing, he just loves it. y'all are like beast boy and raven.
"mama, you killin' me right now." "hm? did i do somethin'?" "i love you so, so much. i swear, you make me weak." "aww, hun, I love you more." "yeah, keep dreamin'. now, lemme love on you."
hype man, hype man, HYPE MANN
when I say if you want to do anything he's here for it, he's here for it.
you wanna get your hair done? he's at your service.
you wanna go to the mall? he's already throwing you the keys to your jeep.
you wanna get your nails done? show him your options (he always likes the french tips, esp this.)
"Y'know Miles, i think this set ain't looking too good no more.." "You wanna get new nails?" "Mhm, wanna help me pick?" "'Course I do, let's see em."
does not care what you wear, he's always gonna say you look gorgeous. plus, he can fight. but, he's always got his hands on your waist. always.
you're your own girl, he knows that. he spoils you, yes, but he'll always let you do your own thing.
he can't explain it, but when you refer to him as "my man", or your anything, really, it does something to his heart.
yk when latto goes "ty to my man"? yeah, that's you.
"My nails? Yeah, my man helped me pick 'em."
you have attitude. Miles doesn't mind, he's a "yes ma'am" kind of guy, but if it's to him, hes gonna shut you down.
a lot of the times, you won't care, and it won't end in an argument, becuase he's still shutting you down regardless.
"Miles, you lost your shit or sum." "Amor, drop that tone f'me, aight?"
you are a party animal, and Miles? He'll just be in the back, watching you do your thing with your friends. If you ask him to dance with you though, he will for sure.
Will he throw money on you? Yes, yes he will. (Not sexual btw !)
Your jeep. He has his own car, but he honestly loves yours the best.
He helped you decorate it, all pretty and pink
He will happily get in your jeep while you blast Megan or Rihanna because c'mon now, who wouldnt?
I'm insistent he's good with mechanics, so he'll tune your car whenever you need him to, bryson tiller or tory lanez playing while he does so. (i'm losing my shit rn.)
"Cariño, ¿puedes pasarme esa llave inglesa? It's to ya left." (Baby, can you pass me that wrench?)
he'd say, sliding out from the car creeper under the hood of your pink jeep, sliding back in after you passed him the tool.
and after about 15 minutes, he'd come back out, putting a dirty cloth over his shoulder, wiping the sweat from his forehead.
its a sight to see: white tank top, slightly stained with grime from fixing your car; his favorite gold chain glistened in the sun, adorned with beaded glints of sweat from his neck.
"Aight, i think she's good, you can start her up if you wanna." "Yay! thank you for fixing my car, baby, I love youu."
you'd squeal, wrapping your arms around his neck to plant a kiss on his cheek, your pink tinted lip gloss staining his face.
"Ain't no problem princesa, I love you too."
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© all444miles 2023. do not plagerize, copy, or repost my work in any way shape or form, without my permission.
likes, reblogs, comments and asks are always appreciated !
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blue-jisungs · 7 months
Text
childish honesty
author's note. okay phew this has been rotting in my drafts since JULY??? the main reason of not posting was literally no idea for the title bye. anyways i hope you enjoy, esp you @l3visbby since this is the chan work i’ve been talking about 💀
big shout out to my beloved @planetkiimchi for proofreading, ilysm and thank you so so much <3 i really appreciate it 🥹
summary. there’s a cute guy who’s literally perfect. everything starts to work out when your little secret comes out // or in which you always adored children’s honesty but fail to do the same
summary. 7894
warnings. swearing, alcohol consumption + one scene in a club but nothing too wild, mention of cheating. a bit angsty :) chan is a bit of an ass but then again, he kind of has a reason….. + some cameos <3
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biting the inside of your cheek deep in thought, your friend – jeongyeon – noticed you’re drifting away. tapping the back of your hand gently, warm smile on her lips. your other friend, jihyo, scoffed.
“and you’re gone again… don’t tell me he’s on your mind” she sighed dramatically. a blush crept on your face since you were caught.
“girl, you were supposed to relax! clear your head! go wild!” jeongyeon grunted and broke into a mischievous giggle “well, the last one is for later”
“we know you love him but please, stop thinking about him. for once…” jihyo pouted “i’ll get jealous!”
“okay, you know i love you both” you smiled, grabbing their hands “i’m sorry. you know how it is”
“well… we don’t. but we understand, we know what you’ve been through. that’s why you need a break” jeongyeon said and jihyo nodded in agreement “aaaand we need to find you a new man”
“huh?” you blinked, reaching for your coffee cup.
“oh come on, don’t act like you don’t understand” jihyo winked and you almost choked on the hot beverage. the action made your friends laugh “what?! that’s not what i meant…” you grunted but your reaction spoke for yourself.
“now that i think about it… jihyo, do you remember chan? from our company? he’s in another department but he’s the manager, you should know him” jeongyeon hummed, tapping her fingers against her coffee cup. you stole a glance at your phone. no one texted you.
“of course i do! i love chan, he’s so cute and good in what he does… wait” the corners of jihyo’s lips curled into a mischievous smile “oh…”
“oh indeed” jeongyeon smirked, both of them slowly looking at you.
“what?” you asked and your attention was quickly dismissed when your phone buzzed. the girls in front of you exchanged sly looks with each other and nodded in agreement.
“okay! let’s go to my place and change up, hm? it’s friday night, i already thought of a party plan” jihyo smacked the table energetically and stood up from the seat, going over to pay for the coffee.
“where does she get this energy from…” you murmured as you texted back. jeongyeon smiled and stood up too, waiting for you.
“yeah… no…” you grunted, swirling the drink in your hand. squeezing your phone between your cheek and your arm, you looked for your lipgloss hidden somewhere in the bag.
you wanted to finish talking before your friends come back with even more drinks. it was hard to hear jooyeon’s rambles due to the loud music booming in the club.
“‘m sorry, can you speak a bit louder?” you asked and managed to find your lipgloss “or just…”
“y/n!” you heard jihyo’s shouts
“sorry, baby, i need to go!” you said
“but…” jooyeon whined and you sighed apologetically.
“i’ll call you in the morning, okay?” you hummed and were met with a soft, sad hmpf. quickly hanging up, you pretended to use your phone as a mirror while holding the lipgloss.
“we’re back, ta-dam!” jeongyeon put the drinks on the table and shot you a suspicious glance “do you even see anything?”
“no… not really” you giggled and put your phone down, gulping down your previous drink “i’ll be right back!”
entering the bathroom you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach. you really shouldn’t have hung up so early. what if it was important? what if he needed help… what if he needed you?
quickly fixing your lipgloss, you shook your head. you shouldn’t think about it so much. the girls went out with you to have fun so just for a night you could forget about him, right?
after hiding the lipgloss in your mini bag; zipping it so the small electric guitar keychain dingled gently, you left the bathroom.
right away you felt your legs tripping or just the impact of someone bumping into you, you weren’t sure. before you could fall, a surprised yelp reached your ears and two hands held you sturdily by your waist.
“i’m sorry, i should have watched where i was going” a male voice rung in your ears, causing you to squirm away from his hold. he let go, shaking his head “sorry”
“that’s okay, it was my fault too” you nodded and looked at his face. the red neon lights in the club didn’t help you in analysing his features but from what you saw now, he was handsome. his mouth opened and you could sense he’d apologise again but suddenly jihyo’s favourite song came on.
you just nodded for the second time and turned around, the man’s gaze following you – unbeknownst to you.
quickly joining your friends you went to the dance floor, finally starting to relax and temporarily forget about your worries.
arriving at your place, head pumping like crazy, you slowly opened the front door. it was around 10am, saturday morning. quietly entering the kitchen and painfully slowly opening the upper cabinet so it doesn’t creak—
“mom is back!”
you sighed. mission failed.
turning around with a smile you were met with jooyeon’s body launching at you.
“easy there” you giggled and last minute kneeled down, so he could hug you properly. his small hands wrapped around your neck, lips smooching your cheek “missed me that much?”
“duh! it’s boring without you!” jooyeon grinned cheekily and leaned away. then you registered someone leaning over the kitchen counter.
“jooyeonnie, could you maybe pick up the toys in the living room? quick, so mom won’t see the mess” the feminine voice was gentle and soft, as always.
“oh shoot, the toys!” jooyeon yelled out, causing you to scrunch your face. as he ran out of the room, you stood up and sent yuna a warm smile.
“thank you…” you sighed, grabbing a glass of water
“i can see the party was nice” she giggled, observing you “do you need me to stay longer? it’s not…”
“no, absolutely not. i already asked you for too much… but thank you so much” you shook your head as a no, putting the mini bag on the countertop.
yuna was jooyeon’s babysitter. she was a first year university student so the deal was great for three of you: jooyeon loved her (and vice versa), she got to earn some money and you had the opportunity to spend your time with friends or stay overtime without any stress. but hey! it was friday, today it’s saturday and yuna, such a young and lovely girl, definitely shouldn’t miss out on her free time on you two. plus your hangover.
“i’ve got this” you nodded and handed her the cash. she looked at you worried, then stealing a glance at jooyeon who already got distracted with something else.
“if you need anything please let me know…” yuna smiled politely.
“i need you to rest now” you chuckled and patted her arm “i’ve got this, really. have a nice day, yuna. jooyeon, say bye to aunt yuna!”
“bye bye!” he yelled out and ran up to her, grinning and reaching his hand out. they did a high five and yuna left, a sweet smile on her lips. to think she was one year younger than you when jooyeon— “where were you?” jooyeon crossed his hands and cocked an eyebrow, watching you. finishing your water you started looking for some medicine.
“with auntie jihyo and jeongyeon…” you started slowly, trying to focus and figure out what to say “… having a fun time. girls’ night out, you know?”
“mhm…” he hummed, dark irises glued to you “then why do you smell so… gross?”
you scoffed, the package with painkillers dropping from some hidden spot behind glasses.
“we were dancing and having drinks… and when i left, aunties were still sleeping so i didn’t want to wake them up with the loud shower” you explained, taking the meds “is it that bad?”
“yeah. take a shower, you stink” jooyeon ordered and turned around, happily going back to the living room and whatever he was doing with the play-dooh. kids are so honest, don’t you just love them?
following his orders you showered, fighting your eyelids. oh a nap… nap would be great right now.
leaving the bathroom, already in your comfy clothes, you shuffled slowly to find jooyeon. he was scribbling something in a colouring book.
“i think i’ll take a nap, joo. wanna go with me?” you asked quietly. his eyes lit up and he dropped the crayons, grabbing your hand instead
“of course, let’s go!” he exclaimed, leading you to your bedroom. jooyeon was old enough to sleep in his own bed but if he had the chance to sleep with you… on the biiiig bed… there’s no way he’d miss it for the world.
soon enough you were falling asleep with mr wolfy, jooyeon’s plushie, by your side.. and nugget, his another plushie. and five other plushies. and, above all, with your son snuggled comfortably next to you.
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chan typed furiously, engrossed in his task. he didn’t even realise when felix walked into the room.
“hey, chan?”
he looked up, taken aback.
“what’s up?” chan asked, smiling softly. his features softened, looking at felix’s pensive face.
“see, i was talking to jihyo… you know, the other manager…” felix started. chan nodded — obviously he knew her. they meet once a month at the monthly evaluation “do you happen to be willing to go on a blind date?”
chan froze, eyes widening. he let out a nervous laugh, scratching his head.
“what is this about?” he asked, felix breaking into a smile.
“well you’re single, right? and apparently jihyo has a friend… so we just thought…” felix drifted off and took a deep breath “listen, i know i’m in no place to say it. but you’re my friend, we’ve known each other for years. and i feel like you should give it a shot. just once”
“but…” chan started, still not fully realising what’s going on
“don’t worry about it, i’m sure you’ll do well. literally everyone likes you, you know? me and jihyo can set up the date, just let me know if… that’s okay” felix breathed out, smiling softly. chan looked down and shook his head, shrugging.
“okay. just this once and only because you’re so kind about it” he scoffed. felix’s face lit up, eyes sparkling with joy.
“really?” he asked in shock. chan looked back at him and smiled
“really. but while you’re so euphoric, don’t forget to send me those audio files of the songs, okay?” chan dead serious. his friend nodded enthusiastically, leaving the room.
what the hell did he just agree to…?
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fidgeting with his fingers chan stared at the people in the café. it was cozy, cutely decorated and full of plants. it’s not like he wasn’t here before, it was his friend’s cafe – seungmin’s. he knew all the staff, he was there to help with the decor and all. hell, he often worked there on his laptop with headphones in, in his own world (even though seungmin hated when he did that, apparently he scared the customers away)
he took a deep sigh and looked over at the counter. seungmin along with his two workers, momo and minho sent him thumbs up. of course, they knew about the date, felix had told them.
the door opened and he looked up, excited and nervous at the same time. his features dropped once he noticed it was an elder lady. letting out a scoff he checked the time. well, he was the one who was a bit earlier. would you be on time? or show up at all? he was thinking about–
“excuse me? are you chan?”
he looked up, blinking slowly. oh wow. you… you looked stunning.
“oh. yeah. yeah, that’s me” he nodded and stood up, reaching his hand out “y/n, i assume? jihyo’s friend?”
“yes” you smiled and shook his hand, sitting down “did you wait long?”
“oh, no… not really” he scratched his neck, glancing at his friends. they all sent him thumbs up “here’s the menu…”
“thank you. oh wow, the choices are…” you giggled nervously, reading all the drink and dessert descriptions. jooyeon would definitely like strawberry boom, whatever that was.
“i know, right?” chan tilted his head and adored your features. when jihyo said you’re pretty, he didn’t give it a much thought. he’d say the same thing about felix or his other friends too. but you… you were really angelic. and your smile was so sweet, he never wanted to see it disappear– “hm?”
“i’ll just go for an americano for now” you said and looked up “what about you?”
“i’ll get the strawberry cake, it’s really good. well, actually my friend owns the cafe so…” chan mumbled “… um, yeah. depends what you like, the lemon muffin is good too!”
“okay, if you recommend it then i’ll take it” you shot him a smile and before you could walk up to the counter, someone arrived at the table. your eyes widened upon seeing momo, a friend of jeongyeon’s. you talked a couple of times, she’s really nice but you didn’t know she worked here. in fact, didn’t she work at some dance studio…?
“hi, can i take your order?” she asked sweetly. chan’s gaze was focused on you. it warmed your heart because, well… momo was gorgeous. and he chose to look at you? a small thing but still…
“yes, i’ll take the strawberry cake and espresso. and for this beautiful lady, americano and lemon muffin” chan said, sending you a boyish smile. momo nodded
“iced or warm?” she asked you, winking.
“iced, please” you hummed and realised you still have your purse hung over your arm. momo walked away and you took the purse off, hanging it on the back of the chair.
“sorry if i’m awkward, i haven’t been on a date in a while” you chuckled and noticed chan’s gazed glued to your purse.
“the keychain” he hummed, pointing at it. you grabbed your purse and showed him the electric guitar keychain that was attached to the zipper “it’s cute”
“thank you. it’s a gift from a family member, i carry it everywhere” you hummed and watched chan’s eyes widen.
“were you perhaps at a party last week?” he asked, giggling when your face turned into shock while nodding “oh! so this is the mystery person i bumped into”
“what?!” you laughed loudly, uncontrollable grin plastered on your face “no way! i didn’t see your face then…”
“well me too but i remembered the guitar chain. i’m kind of a music freak… well, i do music for passion and work so it just… it just caught my eye” chan hummed, pointing at the item again “do you play?”
“oh, i used to when i was younger. and then boom, adult life, work, uni… i had to sell it to make ends meet. so, sadly, not anymore” you explained and nodded your head slowly. it was true.
however, a fact was that jooyeon gave it to you. well, he bought it somewhere when he was on a trip with his kindergarten. music ran in his veins ever since he was little. you still have those cute videos when he was younger and used pot lids as drum plates–
“–for a living?” chan’s question brought you back to life. momo arrived and placed your orders. letting out a small, amazed gasp you took out your phone to snap a picture. you’d show it later to jooyeon. maybe one day you could visit the café with him.
“i work in corpo. numbers, numbers and numbers. i wanna change my job but eh… is it worth the risk?” you answer and your life flashes in front of your eyes when your wallpaper appears on your phone.
obviously, it’s your son but you hoped chan didn’t see it. so you try to act like nothing happened: “this muffin is so cute i need to take a picture”
“honestly, understandable. if it wasn’t my millionth time here, i’d snap pics too” he hummed and realised that ever since you exchanged greetings, he would not stop smiling.
“done! ah, yours looks appetising too” you nod, the big strawberry on his cake as red as the guitar on your keychain.
as you two dive into the desserts, you continue your conversation. you’re surprised to come to a conclusion that after such a long time of not having dates, you weren’t stressed. and… you’re having fun?
jooyeon was doodling something next to you with his tongue stuck out while you were in the phone with jihyo and jeongyeon.
“so?! how was it?!” the former practically yelled, causing your son to look up curiously. he twirled his small pointer finger next to his temple and muttered “she’s crazy”, causing you to scoff and pat his head.
“weeell… it was nice. chan himself is veery handsome but also, so kind? it is a little suspicious now that i think about it” you hummed, subconsciously smiling at your son
“noo, please! we’ve known him for a while and trust me, this man doesn’t have a single bad bone in his body. a green flag, if you will” jengyeon whined “tell us more though!”
“well, we talked… had a nice dessert… and talked more. oh and also, we were at the café momo works at!” you said and stood up, going somewhere distant so jooyeon wouldn’t hear your next words
“we know, we did this on purpose so she could tell us the truth in case you ran away or something…” jihyo laughed, causing you to scoff “and girl! she told us you two just wouldn’t shut up! she said she could feel the chemistry from all the way over there”
a blush crept at your cheeks. was is that visible? he’s just… so cute. and smart. and funny. and–
“did you tell him?” jeongyeon cut in, long silence meeting her question. you could hear the heavy sigh she left “y/n–“
“i know but i panicked! it’s like a biggest turn off for a guy, no? like personally, i’d run away” you mumbled looking over at joo engrossed in his task, swinging his feet and humming happily “i’ll tell him next time, i promise”
“you better. WAIT, NEXT TIME?!” jihyo yelled out and all you could hear were squeals and screams. jooyeon jumped off the chair and grabbed the paper sheet he was drawing on
“yes, next time. we’re having a second date next week and he gave me his number” you squealed too, unable to control the excitement. jooyeon grinned and run up to you, handing you the paper with anticipation.
he drew both of you with guitars in your hands. well, you were also holding hands. a lot of hearts and something that looked like a wolf in the corner. there was also a big, crooked but colourful ‘for my beatifull mommy’.
you leaned down and pressed a kiss onto his forehead.
“thank you, my little rockstar. i love you” you hummed, deciding to ignore the typo he made. it’s the gesture that counts.
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the next date was a surprise. chan texted you to meet at their company, and because you work close, you agreed. he told you you two would drive for an hour, but he promised it’d be worth the wait.
leaving jooyeon with yuna (who complimented your outfit from head to toe, as if she was the one taking you on said date), you were off.
you arrived at the jyp building, almost pretty sure that jeongyeon and jihyo were watching you somewhere from their offices.
chan was standing there, in his suit and tie loosened a bit with a bouquet of fresh flowers in his hand. you gasped and that caught his attention, turning around.
“oh, you’re here!” he smiled brightly. approaching him, you noticed the flowers were probably a picked set; petals mostly white and in pink shades “this is for you~”
“oh… oh wow. i’m… woah, thank you” you smiled widely, warmth spreading across your body. you couldn’t remember the last time a man gave you flowers (except jooyeon, every year on mother’s day… and literally every time he saw a pretty flower and picked it) “they’re are really beautiful”
“i know, right? i thought about you when i saw them but… you’re prettier” chan smiled cheekily and blood rushed to your cheeks. mumbling a quiet, almost incoherent ‘thank you’ he giggled, pointing at something “my car is parked over there. i didn’t think this through though because there’s no water. hopefully the flowers won’t dry out”
“even if they do, i’ll keep them. dried petals really have their own charm” you hummed, smelling them. you followed chan to his car and he opened the door for you with a charming smile. the vehicle itself was way bigger and more expensive than your own. and way more comfortable. and clean. well, chan probably didn’t have a messy five year old to begin with so maybe that’s why. or maybe he’s just a neat man who likes his environment clean and squeaky? that would be nice but then again, with jooyeon nothing ever is clean.
the drive went fast, way too fast. maybe because there was not a moment of dull conversation with chan and you were truly enjoying yourself. in fact, you didn’t even notice when you arrived at a parking. it was surrounded by tall grass, preventing you to see what’s around.
you left the car, leaving the flowers on your seat and chan joined your side.
“so… how’d you meet jihyo and jeongyeon?” he asked, genuinely curious. you followed him and noticed a beach. letting out a small gasp you took off your shoes, grabbing them in your free hand. chan did the same, leaving your left hand and his right one free.
“well… i had a boyfriend in high school. and one day a girl came up to me and gently explained that she thinks my boyfriend is dating someone else. i was surprised, to say at least and i didn’t even want to believe her. but she was like “girl, you need to believe me! let’s talk to his other girlfriend”… so we did. we realised it makes sense, the girl even showed us pictures she took” you giggled at the memory, suddenly – for a brief moment – feeling how his hand brushes against yours “the girl was jihyo, the other girlfriend was jeongyeon. we decided we want to expose him. in the meantime we asked jihyo why she’s helping us and she told us that he asked her out! can you believe it?”
“what a dickhead” chan grunted, amused smile dancing on his lips. he was listening to you, eyes adoring your face.
“i know, right?” you chuckled and when your hands brushed again, you noticed how the tips of his ears turned pink. cute. “so we exposed him, when he was on a ‘date’ with jihyo. we were sixteen so we just, you know… publicly said this and that. i think jihyo told her friends and the word spread he’s a pathetic liar. but our friendship stayed”
“oh woah. i thought it was just like, clicking after working on a project together but this was way more than i could imagine” he laughed and you joined him.
“yeah, it’s an unusual story. how about you? i’m guessing you met her through work stuff?” you tilted your head.
“mhm, exactly. when i was picked as a manager she congratulated me. then we just started meeting at the monthly meetings for managers and chatted during the breaks” he said and then shook his head “with all due respect, enough about jihyo. i wanna know something about you”
“well, what would you like to know?” you hummed.
while you took a walk, chatting about his career, your passions and his travels, the sun set beautifully at the horizon. once the pastel pinks and oranges morphed into navy sky, stars peeking one by one, you decided to return back to the car.
and that’s when you realised chan lost the shoes he was holding. trying to look for it, which was hard not only due to the darkness but also the uncontrollable laughter you two couldn’t contain, you still chatted. that’s when you found out he’s from australia (“oh woah, i always wanted to go there!”) and that he has a dog, berry. just when you said that you were thinking of getting a dog too (well, more like jooyeon wanted a puppy), chan found his shoes.
they were in the sand, waves moving them around. just as he was about to take them, water came. chan yelped, giggling and backing off. you followed him but then realised the shoes were being taken away by the sea. since you had on a sundress and he was in pants, you decided to walk into the water to grab them.
“no, y/n!” chan called but you were already almost knee deep, taking his shoes. you showed them to him and walked up, scratching your head.
“uhm… i don’t think they’ll be useful anymore” you grunted and before you gave him the shoes, chan took off his blazer. placing it slowly on your arms, he took the wet shoes.
“we’ll see. thank you though, you didn’t have to” he laughed.
only when you entered the car, did you realise how late it had gotten. you texted yuna that you’d be back in an hour and offered for her to sleep at your place. she didn’t read the message, so you assumed she might be already asleep.
chan was so kind as to drop you off right at your doorstep. stepping out of the car, he walked you to the door with a shy smile. the flowers in your hand dried a bit but maybe, hopefully, you’d be able to save them.
“thank you for today” you said with a soft smile, slowly walking up to the door “i had a really fun time”
“me too. seriously, i enjoy spending time with you” chan hummed, his hands behind his back. you had a feeling he wanted to say something else
“the beach was really pretty as well. and thank you for the flowers, i’ll try to bring them back to life” a chuckle left your lips and he grinned “if… uhm…”
“we can do this again sometime” he caught on and smiled boyishly “i’m open to suggestions what fo you want to do next time”
“well, i’ll think about it. and… good night, chan. drive safe and sleep well” you said slowly and took a deep breath before quickly pecking his cheek. chan’s ears turned red as you put in the code to the staircase.
“g-good night, y/n!” he stuttered quickly as you walked in. sending him a warm smile before you went to the elevator, off you were.
chan checked if you’re really gone and started giggling like crazy, fingers gently caressing the spot you placed a kiss on.
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during your third date with chan, after texting him all the time you decided to go to the cinema. you paid in advance for the tickets when you decided to see oppenheimer (only because you’ve already seen barbie with your friends). laughing at chan’s reaction when he realised, he promised to pay next time.
but in the middle of the movie you got a phone call. you’d decline it but as soon as you noticed it’s jihyo (because she was staying with jooyeon today), you rushed out of the room telling chan you’re going to the bathroom.
“yes? what’s happening?” you asked as soon as you left, going to sit at the nearby bench.
“pfff… one phone call and you already assume something is happening. well, actually right now…” jihyo started and your heart dropped when you heard jooyeon crying in the background.
“jihyo. what happened?” you hissed, anxiously gripping your knee.
“well, i don’t really know. i was watching the news and doing some paperwork while he was jooyeoning in the background, when suddenly he started crying. i checked if he hurt himself, nothing. he won’t tell me why, he won’t hug me… i don’t know what to do. he told me not to call you but i’m getting nervous” jihyo said and you could tell by the speed of her speech. taking a deep breath, you nodded.
“hand the phone to joo, please” you breathed out and soon you heard your son’s choked sobs. “jooyeonnie?”
“mom…” he sniffled and suddenly started yelling “you’re a liar! you’re gonna leave me just like daddy did! you– you–! i hate you–!”
“hey, hey… calm down, joo. what’s going on? mommy is never going to leave you” you whispered, heart shattering. what is going on?
“you will! you’re a liar! and you’ll leave auntie yuna and auntie jihyo and– and auntie jeongyeon too! you’re a bad, ugly liar” jooyeon started hyperventilating, sobs and cries only audible on the other side of the phone
“jooyeonnie… i’d never leave you, i promise! mommy will be back in a second, alright? do you want me to buy you a snack on my way home? anything you want, my precious baby” you cooed, heart thumping in your chest. did someone say something in the kindergarten?
silence. long silence.
“dino nuggets…” jooyeonnie murmured, sniffling again.
“got it. i’ll be back in ten minutes, dear” you gulped, standing up “love you so much. i’ll be back soon, hold on okay?”
you hung up and hid your phone back in your bag. running your hands through your hair as your mind raced. what happened? who made joo think this way? why–
“y/n?”
you looked up and saw chan walking your way. great.
“are you okay? i got worried, you…” he stopped, smile dropping “you’re pale, did something happen?”
yes. your son – about who you didn’t tell him yet – is bawling his eyes out at home, god knows why. and you’re terrified. parenting books didn’t prepare you for any of this.
“i… i don’t feel too good. i’m sorry, i think i’ll go home” you mumbled, sending him a sad look “i’d love to stay but…”
“hey, hey. i understand. absolutely don’t worry. do you want me to drive you home?” he asked, voice genuinely filled with worry. it made your stomach flip, it was something truly heartwarming.
“no, no it’s okay. i’ll take a painkiller and go to sleep but i’ll let you know once i feel better. again, i’m sorry for ruining our date” you mumbled. chan took your hands in his and caressed it with his thumbs.
“please don’t worry about anything, okay?” he hummed and squeezed your hands “are you sure you’ll go home on your own?”
“yes, i am. i’ll keep you updated. again, i’m so–“ you started but chan shook his head.
“don’t be” he said softly and let you go. you sent him an apologetic smile and walked away. chan observed you until you were gone from his sight.
you were home quickly, with dino nuggets and some other necessities (gummy bears and ice cream). swinging the door open you almost dropped the groceries, running up to jooyeon. he wasn’t crying anymore, which was good but now he was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed. pouting. ah. he’s more angry than sad now.
“jooyeonnie, i’m here” you breathed out, giving jihyo a look. she nodded and took the groceries, preparing to heat up the nuggets for jooyeon “will you talk to me? please. did someone say something bad?”
he put his lips into a right line, looking away.
“you’re a liar. you’ll leave me, just like daddy. even auntie jihyo said she’s scared of you leaving” he huffed, lower lip trembling. you sent jihyo a piercing look to which she only mouthed ‘it was a joke’.
you sat up and wrapped an arm around him. joo slapped your hand, wriggling away.
“i won’t leave, baby. what made you think that way, sweetie?” you asked quietly.
jooyeon sighed deeply.
“the guy”
you looked at jihyo, frowning. she shrugged.
“what guy?” you asked. jooyeon puffed his cheeks.
“auntie jihyo said you’re seeing a guy and in a blink of an eye you’ll leave them. and if you’ll leave them, you’ll leave me” he grunted.
oh.
“baby…” you whined, pouting “that’s not…”
“and– and you will disappear, just like dad! the guy will take you away!” jooyeon whined and finally looked at you, cheeks and lashes still wet from tears.
“he will not. your dad was a pu– scaredy cat. he was scared, that’s why he left. i will never… ever, ever leave you, joo!” you smiled and squished his small cheeks “yes, i am seeing a guy. but even if i like him and i’d like him to be my boyfriend, i won’t leave you. we’re a pack, you know? whoever would want me, has to want you too, hm?”
“was dad scared of me?” jooyeon asked, eyes tearing up again.
“oh no no no! he was… how to say it… he was scared of the responsibilities” you sighed. well, technically joo’s dad was scared of him but that’s not a conversation for now, with a five year old “you’re not the reason, okay? if anyone said anything to you…”
he shook his head slowly. so this was the case. poor jooyeon was just scared and… in fact, you did neglect him lately. you didn’t… you didn’t even ask him about his day. after picking him up from kindergarten you went straight away to dress up for the date–
“if that would make you feel better… if there’s a guy i’m seeing, you’ll have to accept him. or not. if you don’t like him, you tell me. we have a deal?” you cocked your head and reached your hand out.
“m’kay…” he murmured and his smaller hand squeezed yours. you pulled him into a hug, hiding your nose in his hair.
“i’m sorry i made you feel that way” you mumbled. jihyo came over, sniffling. sending her a shocked look you realised she’s… crying.
“i have dino nuggets!” she said cheerfully despite her voice trembling. jooyeon leaned away and pecked your cheek before aiming for the nuggets. you let him eat and looked at jihyo.
“what? you made me emotional. can we approve the guy too?” your friend mumbled. you nodded and scoffing, you hugged her too.
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during your fourth date with chan – and yet another one during which you didn’t tell him about jooyeon – you were currently strolling down the street, coffee in your hands. well, you drank yours. having a small chat you couldn’t help but giggle when he told you about the time he mistakenly took wrong pendrive to work. resulting in showing his boss a presentation he made for a powerpoint night with his friends, titled: “why felix eating chicken is cannibalism”. you were about to ask him how on earth he didn’t get fired when–
suddenly your heart dropped and everything started happening in slow motion.
jeongyeon and jooyeon walking from around the corner, holding hands. jeongyeon was talking to him, smiling and your son was engrossed in the conversation. he was holding a small flower. his ebony eyes noticed you and widened, sparks of joy. his lips opening, a tiny hand of his letting go jeongyeon’s. and then you heard it.
“mommy!”
joo ran your way, almost dropping the flower. chan was still clueless, eyes laser focused on your features. once he realised something’s wrong, jooyeon was close. your instinct told you to squat and open your arms to hug him, so you did. joo’s body hit yours, tiny hands wrapping around your neck.
“hiya mommy!”
you hugged jooyeon back and leaned away, tucking a strand of his longish hair that stuck to his forehead. was that paint–?
“hi baby” you whispered, barely audible. jeongyeon walked up, panting. finally you looked at chan, heart pounding against your rib cage as if it was about to break any second. you couldn’t read him. sure, his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were widened but…
only when you picked up jooyeon and came back to chan’s eye level, there it was. the reaction you knew too damn well. features dropping, shock morphing into realisation. next was…
“that’s… that’s your kid?” chan spat out. jeongyeon squinted, jaw tensing. she liked chan, sure. he was a nice guy and a hardworking manager. but what he was about to say could completely change her point of view.
“yes” you mumbled faintly, sending him a weak smile “it’s my son–“
“you didn’t tell me. i get it, not saying anything about– i don’t fuc… know, a goldfish when you were nine but a child“ anger. anger was next and now there will be– “y/n… i’m disappointed”
your heart dropped. you had a small flame of hope that he won’t be like the other guys. he won’t run away, he won’t judge. but no. despite all the fun time and genuine softness of his character chan was like every single man you’ve met before.
“i can explain–!” a pathetic whine ripped out of your throat, making jooyeon tilt his head.
“i don’t… i need to go. we’ll talk later” was all he said before walking away.
jeongyeon quickly came over and took jooyeon from your hands. truly, you were thankful for that. as your heart shattered into pieces, your knees went weak. you wanted to lay down on the sidewalk and cry; no, wail.
looking at jooyeon and then jeongyeon, you took a deep breath. no. you’ll have to wait until later. you don’t want him to see you cry. your friend’s face was saying ‘told you so, you should’ve have told him sooner’ but her hand met yours and gave it a small squeeze.
“i’m sorry” she whispered and nudged your arm. jooyeon poked you and gave you the flower he was holding “let’s go home, hm?”
the next two weeks were tough. chan left you on read, so you gave up on texting him. the worst part was that you knew it’s your fault. you should’ve told him earlier. but… you really thought he’s different. he really was, so caring and soft; he didn’t want just to hop in your bed. but in the end, he’s just like others.
jihyo and jeongyeon wanted to kill him. yuna too, even though she didn’t know him. the girls told you that he’s off ever since that day. jihyo didn’t talk to him, only sending cold looks his way. chan seemed… ashamed every time they met. especially jeongyeon. in fact, he seemed to avoid them.
jooyeon was a sweetheart, though. you weren’t sure if he understood but he knew something was wrong. he tried to cheer you up and it worked. how could it not? he’s adorable himself. bringing drawings and flowers from kindergarten or just watching him experiment on the garage band with a huge smile on his face. just having joo around was enough.
one day, he invited his friends over. it was quite a challenge: five other boys running around in your living room. but their laughs were contagious. while most of them, including junhan’s. he was the most shy one, clinging to you and peeking at the boys. joo though, being the happy virus he is, dragged him away from you and they ran to his room. when you wanted to take a look what’s going on, the oldest and the boldest pushed you out.
so you decided to do some paperwork, a sitcom playing in the background. from time to time you heard shouts and sounds of footsteps… and metal lids smashing against each other. guess they were playing the band game.
smiling upon remembering the times you used to do that with jooyeon while you still had your guitar, there was a doorbell ring.
gaon, one of the boys run out.
“if that’s my mom tell her i’m not here!” he yelled and ran away back to joo’s room. scoffing, you walked closer to the door. how would that even work? if you were to say that, his mom would lose her mind. it was the whole purpose of inviting them so they’re here–
“hi”
your eyes widened. opening the door, you were met with chan. he was holding a huge bouquet of flowers, biting his lower lip anxiously. you were so stunned, you couldn’t mutter a word.
“i’m… can we talk?” he asked, sparks of hope in his ebony eyes. he was dressed like usual, black from head to toe. you on the other hand… already in your pyjamas–
“i, uh… sure, i guess. come in. or no… see… joo has friends over and–“ you started and got interrupted by a loud metal noise. ah yes, the drums. sending chan an apologetic smile, you sighed “yup. that’s exactly what i was going to say”
chan smiled, nodding.
“it’s fine. those are for you. i know this isn’t enough to make up for how i reacted but…” he handed you the flowers. while you rushed to put them in a vase, chan stepped in and closed the door.
his lips subconsciously curled into a smile while he looked around your place. tiny shoes all over the floor, crayons and papers laying around, cars and legos splattered everywhere. there were plenty of pictures too. most of them were just your son. some of them were jihyo, jeongyeon and you. and your son, again. or some pictures with your parents, like on your graduation day. and another one: your parents, you and your son.
“okay, come in. take your shoes off, it’s already a mess. do you, uhm… want some coffee?” you asked, fidgeting with your fingers. he shook his head as a no.
“no, thank you. listen y/n… i’m sorry” chan said, looking into your eyes. you were shocked, mouth slightly parting. he let out a nervous laugh “i’ve been acting like a total idiot since then but i needed some time to think, i’m sorry”
“yeah, i mean– it was kind of a bomb, wasn’t it?” you scoff. chan noticed a glint of bitterness on your face.
“can we sit down? i feel like–“ he started. you led him to the couch, quickly moving away the small, plastic plates boys left after dinner.
when you were settled down, you turned off the tv. there was comfortable silence, only filled with background noises of faint music coming from joo’s room.
“again, i’m so fucking sorry. y/n, i just… you are really the girl of my dreams. i don’t think i’ve ever met someone who understood me so well, who i just had this flow with. and i truly like you, i really do. i… i know the way i reacted was shitty. but… maybe if you told me…” chan finished hesistantly, scanning your face to see your reaction “truth be told, i needed to think it through. i had so many thoughts but… why, why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
you let out a deep sigh, looking down. at his neat black pants and your messy pyjama ones.
“because i did it before. and each time i was met with the same reaction. either a nasty comment or a weird look, and all of them ended up in eventually leaving me without word. or a word as in “listen, you’re cute but the kid”–“ you took a deep breath, feeling yourself bubble up. chan grabbed your hand and squeezed it “and, and i was so tired of that. it was so selfish of me and unfair for you and even jooyeon but… for a moment i wanted to feel loved. wanted to have fun. i wanted to cherish those moments because i knew you’d leave too and–“
crystal tears started running down your cheeks. chan pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you. one hand at the back of your head, caressing your hair soothingly.
“and it’s awful; i’m awful. joo thought i’d leave him for you and i knew you’d leave me because of him. it’s never ending circle and i’ll be alone forever and joo will think it’s his fault and–“ you hiccuped, not realising you’re rambling “and- and i really liked you and your reaction hurt me but it was fully my fault…”
“hey. hey, y/n. calm down, it’s okay” chan whispered, lulling you in his arms. you gradually calmed down, the feeling was full of comfort. comfort and closeness you needed. such a simple move, yet it had soothing effect. this made you realise why joo loved to be out to sleep this way.
leaning away from chan when you finally gained the strength to, he wiped your cheeks.
“i’m sorry, from the bottom of my heart. neither of us didn’t handle it properly. we’re human, we make mistakes. but then we learn. i understand now why… why you were scared. and i’m so… pissed. because listen, y/n” he said, voice stern but not in a disturbing way. his calloused hands took your smaller in his “despite the way i reacted i realised i like you. and… if there’s… joo… then– then it is a bit of a challenge. but when i was thinking about it and did the math… you were 20. alone, young. during studies, during work. you were so brave. you still are. and you handled it on your own. so why i, a man, should be scared of helping you?”
your eyes teared up again, heart beating against your rib cage unusually hard.
“well, i am. because i don’t know how you’ll react, or if he’ll like me, or maybe because simply i’m new to this. but… as i said… i like you. and i really want to spend more time with you. if that means taking care of your son, i’m willing to do so to” chan smiled, dimples showing “especially if he’s as funny as his mom”
suddenly you heard footsteps and giggles, followed by a sudden gasp.
“no mrs lee! i’ll save you!” the oldest boy, gunil, shouted. before you could react, chan was getting beaten up with pillows by six kids. even the shy junhan.
he started laughing and fought back, gently of course.
“does anyone here have tickles?!” chan hummed and the boys squealed, backing away.
“who’s that?” jooyeon asked, tugging your t-shirt.
“he’s a friend of mine. chan. can he watch your performance too?” you asked. chan’s ears perked up.
“performance?” he repeated. jooyeon nodded proudly.
“yes! but our music is for vips only!” seungmin added and just now you realised they grabbed the keyboard from joo’s room. jungsu, seated next to him, nodded shyly.
“okay! i’m a music producer so if you guys want i can give you some tips…?” chan asked, sending you a smile.
“pft! auntie jeongyeon and jihyo are music producers too, they gave us tips already!” joo grunted, walking away “anyway… is the audience ready?”
chan nodded enthusiastically and scooted closer to you. watching the six boys perform, chan sneaked his hand in yours and intertwined your fingers. with a squeeze of his hand your heart skipped a beat; you finally met the right person.
masterlist <3
taglist. @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @litepowee ,, @ocean-minho ,, @lessthanpast ,, @s-e-s-a-I-e-n-e
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rhey-007 · 5 months
Text
The Family Leclerc
Charles Leclerc x reader x Pierre Gasly
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Summary: Agreeing to do Charles a favor turns into hell when you meet his family for the first time and proceed to spend Christmas with them as his fake girlfriend.
(Based on "The Family Stone")
A/N: It's a LONG one just so y'know. I recently saw "The Family Stone" for the first time (LOVED IT, you have to watch it, I think I cried like 5 times lol) and an idea for this fic just randomly popped up in my brain shortly after. I've been writing this for past 2 weeks and finished it just yesterday. I hope you'll like it :)) I also wish everyone happy Christmas or whatever you're celebrating! 🎄🎉
Warnings/Tags: female reader, vegetarian reader, Atheist reader, toxic family, orphan reader - basically reader is op 😅, family fluff, toxic Pascale, mentions of sex
Wordcount: 9465
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You never thought you’d ever find yourself pretending to be Charles' girlfriend. Yet there you were, getting out of his car seeing his whole family curiously looking at you through the window. You’ve known the Monegasque for a few years already and befriended him almost immediately but never met his family. That’s why you were the first person who came to his mind when his mother mentioned bringing a girl over for Christmas. His family was tormenting him about a partner for too long, so to make them calm down he asked you for this favor, even offering you money which you didn’t accept.
The house Charles rented in Austria was quite big, big enough to accommodate the 9 of you. It was made out of wood, with a forest near by and a great view at the mountains. It literally took your breath away. Although you felt a little uneasy feeling six pairs of eyes as the two of you made your way to the door.
“Don’t let them walk over you... They might be a little... Possessive and overprotective of me...”
The man explained ringing the doorbell and soothing your back with a smile. You had to admit you felt a little nervous. Heck REALLY nervous. You've heard so many things about them on your way there, some positive and some negative. Well... Mostly negative, but just because Charles wanted you to get ready for the chaos.
“Charlie!”
His mother appeared in the door a few seconds after, hugging her precious baby tightly and shooting you a glare.
“Hi mom, this is Y/N. I told you she’ll join us”
Charles disclosed before you greeted his mother with a firm handshake. You walked inside, the man instantly helping you with your coat, then introduced you to the rest.
“Y/N those are my brothers Lorenzo and Arthur. This beauty is Carla, Arthur’s one and only. And last but not least - Carlos and his girlfriend Rebecca, family close friends. Guys this is Y/N”
You smiled cutely at the 5 and hugged them gently before Charles and Arthur left to get your suitcases and Carla showed you the room you would stay in.
“Is everything alright?”
The girl asked soon, noticing you playing with your fingers uneasily. You shook your head with a soft smile. You couldn’t tell her you expected to sleep in a different room than Charles, could you? You both would feel uncomfortable as you were just friends in reality, but maybe in this skit you had to commit to the role a little bit more.
In meanwhile Arthur initiated a conversation with his older brother about you, who didn’t really like it.
“Really? This is her?”
The younger one asked taking out your bag from the trunk.
“What do you mean?”
Charles huffed slowly getting angry. From his whole family Arthur always seemed the most tolerant, but what he was about to hear changed Charles’ opinion completely.
“Come on man! Can’t you see it?! She’s just a bimbo falling for you money!”
“What did you just say?”
The older growled gripping Arthur’s collar and pulling close to himself. The vain on his forehead was about to pop and his face was all red as his gaze pierced through his brother. No one could say such gross things about you, especially not in his presence.
“Don’t you dare disrespect her like that”
He hissed letting his brother go and walking back inside with your bag. After they brought them upstairs, Charles dismissed Carla and Arthur before closing the door and sighing heavily.
“Charles?...”
You said quietly, sitting on his bed and playing with the hem of your beige golf sweater. He turned around to you and sat down beside. His hand rested on your thigh soothing it gently while he looked at you with an asking expression.
“So uh... I-I was hoping for a room for my own... I-I don’t know like a guest room or something... If that’s not a problem of course...”
Bitting your lip softly you looked down and felt the man’s hand stop. Was he disappointed? Yes. Did he expect that? Also yes. He exhaled gripping your limb.
“I can sleep on the floor, it’s not a pro-”
“What! No! It’s your room. I should be the one sleeping on the floor if there’s no free one! ”
You cut him off and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.
“I can ask mom. I’m sure we’ll find something free. Now come on, let’s go eat something”
You followed the man downstairs to the dining room where Pascale and Rebecca set the table. When you eagerly offered your help the older woman completely ignored you, she didn’t even know you well enough to draw conclusions but apparently she already drew them on the porch. You wondered why though. Were you dressed improperly? If you could even call a beige sweater and black jeans an improper outfit... Maybe it was your makeup that alienated her from you. But you only wore mascara, some soft blush and lip oil...
Maybe it was Charles. Too perfect to have and don’t have a second half. Or maybe it was just Pascale hoping he would bring home someone she knew, someone she hooked him up with. You had no idea but had to know to improve your image in the older woman’s eyes and play the role of her child’s girlfriend better.
Once the table was ready, everyone sat down and said a brief pray – even though you weren’t Chistian you respected their beliefs and joined in the little act. By the time everyone started to eat you noticed your portion was just the same as everyone else’s – meatballs in tomato sauce with delicious puree and caesar salad - although you made sure Charles informed his mother you were vegetarian. You decided not to inform her by the dinner table, instead wanting to talk about it later in the kitchen alone but the blonde initiated the conversation herself when she noticed you pushing the meat aside.
“Is something wrong?”
She asked to which you didn’t respond at first, too occupied by staring at the plate. Charles’ poke got you out of trance and made look at his mother.
“Oh! Uh... N-No, everything’s alright. Why?”
“You didn’t touch the meatballs...”
The woman furrowed her eyebrows while you shrunk in your seat.
“Well uh... I-I don’t eat meat-”
Pascale burst out laughing not letting you finish your sentence, her kids following with faint chuckles, except of Charles.
“Mom, I told you million times...”
“But I didn’t thought you were serious! That’s just ridiculous! How can you live without eating meat? No wonder you look so weak”
You looked back down at your plate, not wanting to argue with her. Her words and laugh hurt you a tad, but Charles warned you she might be critical.
“Look at me when I talk to you-”
“I’m sorry to disappoint you miss but that’s who I am and you’re not gonna change that. I’m sure the meat is tasty, just as the rest, but I won’t eat it nonetheless”
You snaped not being able to hold yourself back anymore. No woman should disrespect another woman. Your words brought a smile to Charles’ lips, he was proud of you for stepping up for yourself as you never really did that, always being a shy mouse.
“I'm also not Christian but respect your beliefs and joined in your pray. So it would only be fair if you respected my eating habits- Or what I should rather call eating disorder because I am in fact deathly allergic to meat”
Pascale scoffed as if she was offended by your statement.
“That's an absurd-“
“Mom can we talk? “
Charles cut in, pointing his head towards the kitchen as he stood up. The woman rolled her eyes and followed after her son.
“Who the hell did you brought!? A vegetarian. Not a Christian. Tell me she's also a man! Or maybe she is a widow, huh? Oh Charlie, Charlie... You could do way better... “
Pascale grabbed Charles’ arms and was about to shook him when he shrugged her hands off and took a step back.
“Don't. Don't touch me. I told you she's a vegetarian. I told you so many times but of course you didn't listen. Why do you have such a problem!? You don't even know her yet! You always told me you'll respect whoever I bring home, even a man, yet you deny your words now!”
“I just want the best for my little boy... “
“I'm not your little boy anymore! I'm a grown ass man and I'll date whoever I want. Either you like them or not. So deal with it! “
Charles hissed before leaving the kitchen and joining you back in the dining room. He huffed angrily, flopping down beside you and continuing to eat without a word. An uncomfortable silence fell since he left that lasted until the end of the meal.
You felt responsible for ruining the moods of Leclerc's, especially their mother, but what else were you supposed to do? You couldn’t let anyone disrespect you like that and laugh into your face for your beliefs. After the dinner you locked yourself up in Charles' room.
“Well... That went great... “
You sighed flopping down onto his bed and whining loudly.
“Yeah... Amazing... “
The Monegasque nodded sitting down beside you.
“I'm sorry... I should have said I'm just not hungry. Maybe she would’ve let it go earlier then”
You said turning to your side and looking up at him. Smiling down at you, he brushed your hair away from your face and gazed a little too long before responding.
“It's okay... She would have to find out sooner or later... I'm sorry too. Didn’t expect she would be so possessive already... “
Charles layed down and turned his head to you, his hand grabbing yours and squeezing it gently. If he knew his mother would be THAT critical he wouldn’t have taken you with him. He cared for you too much to want to see you hurt, but his mom was too impossible to foresee even for him to predict that. He just wished that after that week you would still like to be friends with him... Maybe even more if the situation settles down and everyone calms down.
“Go take a shower and relax a little... I'll go find some mattress and set everything up... It'll be better for you to stay here. We don’t want another fight do we? “
You chuckled a little shaking your head and got up. Although you still preffered to sleep in another room, you didn’t want another quarrel with Pascale.
“This is gonna be an interesting week... “
You said before disappearing into the bathroom, leaving Charles alone with his thoughts. How was he going to convince his family and friends to like you, when the head of his family already hated you? He had no idea but had to come up with something soon, or else the Christmas would be ruined.
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Next day an excited and loud array of voices woke you up. You grumbled turning your back to the door and looking down at the floor where Charles previously slept. The mattress he layed on now cold with sheets neatly displayed on top, which meant he must have left quite a long time ago. You got up hearing the man in question call you and rubbed your eyes softly while leaving the room. Stumbling down the stairs your eyes felt heavy and with one too long blink you found yourself falling down, someone catching you quickly before you hit the floor.
“Are you okay?”
A male voice said, hot breath fanning your face and a smell of fresh mint, cedarwood and cinnamon hit your nostrils. When you opened your eyes you noticed it wasn’t Charles who caught you, the Monegasque standing beside you and the stranger holding your arm firmly.
“I-I’m okay... I just woke up and uh... I-I'm sorry...”
You mumbled pulling away from the handsome man that held you, now able to take a better look at him. He was almost as tall as Charles, had blue hipnotizing eyes, full pink lips and a gorgeous smile.
“Y/N this is Pierre, another friend of the family”
Charles introduced you to one another as you shook your hands. You had to admit the man was really handsome, even more than your ‘boyfriend’, making your eyes unable to tear away from him. Pierre smirked noticing you stare at which you blushed softly and looked away sheepishly. If he had to be honest, if not Charles he would’ve try to pick you up right there and then. You were a really beautiful gal, your ginger hair looked so smooth the only thing he wanted was to play with them the whole day, your green eyes shined like if you had stars in them and the soft freckles across your face complimented them so well.
“Look who woke up... Our sleeping beauty...”
Pascale scoffed seeing the three of you walk into the kitchen.
“Welcome Pierre”
She cooed giving the man a tight hug and a kiss to his cheek. You figured he was like a son to her, actually her favourite child as you later found out.
“Long time no see ma. How have you been? You happy with Charlie’s new girlfriend?”
He teased looking at you at which you just rolled your eyes pouring yourself a cup of warm coffee and ignoring the older woman’s response.
“Oh her? Please... He could’ve done waaay better!”
“What, why? Y/N’s a really beautiful girl and I bet she’s smart too”
The French tried to defend you but it was useless.
“She’s vegetarian. Says she’s deathly allergic to meat but I feel like that’s just a lie... And she’s not Christian. Sooner or later she’ll make my little boy convert!”
She whispered to Pierre, loud enough for you to hear.
“That’s it? Oh good thing she’s not a man!”
He joked with a loud laugh before stepping away and joining everyone by the table. You enjoyed your dark liquid sitting by Charles, his arm wrapped around your waist squeezing it from time to time as he conversed with his siblings, Carlos and Pierre. You observed the group carefully, sometimes looking at Pascale.
From what you’ve caught Carlos and Rebecca seemed the most unproblematic, which didn’t mean they didn’t talk about you behind your back, Lorenzo was the quiet one, not really joining in the conversation prefering to read his book and eat in peace, while Pierre, Charles and Arthur were the triplets of chaos with Carla and Pascale being their tamers.
You didn’t fit in with that family at all, always feeling their judging stares on yourself especially with Charles glued to your side. But there was one gaze except of his that felt different. Pierre didn’t judge your every step, his eyes were full of either admiration or sympathy whenever you looked at him, always ready to help if you needed it.
Leclerc also noticed his best friend’s weird interest in you but as much as you didn’t care he did. He felt jealous seeing him watch you with heartful eyes, touch you whenever he had a chance, constantly talk to you, and you only knew each other for a day! Charles’ gut wrenched at those moments, wanting to tear the man apart.
But why did he care so much? You were just friends after all. But he didn’t consider you just a friend. You were more, his whole world, a person he couldn’t live without. He knew that since you’ve met, trying to find a perfect moment to confess his feelings, wanting to do this on Christmas Eve.
That was also another reason why he asked you to pretend his girlfriend in front of his family. But with Pierre on his way... It would be hard. Especially if you felt too comfortable with the French man and told him the truth, then he wouldn’t hold back anymore and wrap you around his finger immediately and Charles couldn’t let that happen.
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After yet another unpleasant dinner you left to pick a Christmas tree and finish up buying presents. It was a little tradition of Leclerc’s to pick the tree all together and you felt glad they wanted you to join them, at least Charles and Pierre did. You strode through the main square holding Charles’ hand and admiring the Christmas market.
Pierre walked by your other side, getting envious every time the Monegasque pressed a kiss to either part of your body or pulled you slightly away from him. He wished he could be the one to bring you to that beautiful place on a date, to have you all for himself, for you to be his... But you weren’t and instead Pierre had to pretend he was happy for you and his best friend and it was really hard at times.
“Come on kids! Faster! The queue is already forming!”
Pascale shouted from a few meters away as she turned around and saw your group getting distracted by the various stalls.
“Queue for what?”
You’ve asked the boys, confusion clearly painted on your face.
“Santa”
They responded in unison rushing you over to the rest.
“Santa? Aren’t you too old?”
“Naaah. We’re gonna get a family picture with him. It’s another of our traditions”
Pierre cleared out with a huge smile. As you waited the two men told you about and showed you every picture from previous years, making fun of little Arthur always crying sitting on Santa’s lap.
Tears slowly started to fill your eyes at the cute stories, but you’ve managed to blink them away quickly so neither men noticed them. You wished you could’ve had such a childhood, full of fun, family and love but you guessed it wasn’t meant to be. At least now you could have some fun, even though the majority of the family hated you.
When your turn came you positioned yourself freely, you stood on the right in front of the boys almost right next to Santa, but Pascale felt like something was wrong and started to rearrange everyone. Eventually Carlos, Rebecca and Lorenzo landed on the left, Arthur and Carla sat on the old man’s laps – just as always, she took your place in front of her two favourites and you stood next to Charles almost getting cut out of the picture.
Nonetheless the photo came out great and you were happy you received one of the copies. After meeting Santa you went to pick the tree and then everyone scattered to buy presents. Charles left with Pierre, the Spaniard with his girlfriend, Pascale with the youngest and you were left with Lorenzo.
“So uh... I-I guess we’re the only ones left...”
You muttered and the man nodded. You stood in the middle of the square in complete silence until he spoke up.
“Listen uh... I asked Charlie to leave us cause I wanted to talk with you. I hope you’re not mad...”
Lorenzo looked down and started to play with his finger nervously. You started to think of all the things he could want to talk with you about but what you were about to hear shocked you.
“Oh um... As long as you won’t offend me like the rest of your family does I won’t”
“I won’t. I promise. But- Can we go to a café?”
You agreed with a quiet sigh then followed the man. He brough you to a simple but full of Christmas atmosphere café and after you ordered some mulled wine and cookies he started.
“I wanted to talk about Charles...”
“What about him?”
The man hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling it.
“I’ve talked with him about you... I wanted to know what plans he has for the future and if he sees you there with him. He said he loves you so much that he would try his best to persuade mom to give him our grandma’s engagement ring after the holidays... I shouldn’t tell you this but I just need to know... Do you want to have a future with Charles or are you, what Arthur calls you, just a bimbo falling for his money?...”
Your face went pale at the information. You hoped Charles said it just for your skit to be more convincing but the way Lorenzo said it, all serious and without any emotions on his face, started to worry you. Trying to gather your thoughts your eyes closed and palms turned into tight fists, something you always did when thinking hard.
“Hey relax... I-It's just a question... I didn’t mean to stress you out...”
The oldest Leclerc grabbed your hands and rubbed his thumbs along them. It actually helped you relax and think of a suitable answer.
“I don’t get me wrong... I love your brother with my whole hear. I really do. But I can’t tell you if I’d say yes to his proposal. I usually don’t think about the future, just living in the moment y’know?”
Lorenzo nodded understandingly. It seemed like you’ve managed to convince him it was true, but started to feel bad for constantly lying to them, especially since Lori seemed like a really nice guy. You’ve chatted for some time when eventually he apologized for his actions.
“I also wanted to apologise for my behavior... I usually don’t act like that but as you might have noticed out mother's influence is too heavy. Nonetheless I know I did wrong offending you like the others and I'm sorry once again. Seeing my brother so happy while with you made me understand that he actually loves you and that you aren’t as bad as mom is painting you... I hope you'll be able to forgive me one day... “
You smiled softly at the man and his genuine apology. You were really glad that at least one of them apologized to you and couldn’t be mad at him.
“It's okay I forgive you”
While you conversed, Pierre and Charles run around the square looking for a perfect gift for you.
“Oh man... Couldn’t you buy something in Monaco?!”
The Frenchman sighed as they entered yet another store. This time it was a jeweler full of gorgeous sets and classy watches.
“You know well I had no time. Besides, I don’t even know what she likes. I specifically insisted on entering the market from this alley so I could see if her eyes would shine after she notices something-”
“But they didn’t. How can you not know what she likes!? She’s your girlfriend!”
“I’m not sure, okay? I want it to be something unique”
Pierre nodded and soon they started to look for something that would match your vibe. Finally the Frenchman chose a gentle, soft pink butterfly set he noticed you look at as you passed the store, later surprised Charles didn’t notice it too, while the Monegasque opted for something more bold – a silver necklace with an emerald and matching earrings. Now they just had to choose which one Charles was going to buy.
“The green matches her eyes and hair”
“But it’s too heavy for her. The butterflies perfectly match her gentle aura”
“But they’re so small and light you wouldn’t see them on her fair skin...”
Eventually Charles bought what he choose himself. Little did he know that the next day Pierre came back to buy you the set he picked. He was a 100% sure you would like his present way more than Charles’.
Was it weird he bought such an expensive gift for his best friend’s girlfriend? Maybe, but he couldn’t care less. It was the only way for him to please you. He also bought a bottle of vanilla latte perfumes as the smell reminded him of you.
If he could, he would’ve showered you in presents, luxurious gowns from the most expensive boutiques of the world, crown jewels, multiple cars... But you weren’t his, not yet.
The man felt the weird dynamic between you and Charles, it seemed like he was the only one who noticed it. Maybe you two were acting like the sweetest couple ever, madly in love with each other, but you weren’t going to fool him.
He noticed how awkward you could be whenever Charles kissed you and you never kissed on the lips, he was also the only one giving kisses, your lips never touched any part of his skin. Neither did you remember some of the most important things about the Monegasque even though he had no problem remembering yours. Pierre knew there was something going on and he was about to find out soon.
When the boys found you and Lorenzo the four of you met up with the rest in one of the main square's restaurant. You expected something expensive and exclusive as Charles usually insisted on eating out in such restaurants but walking into the premise, a warm, family atmosphere hit you.
You actually enjoyed this little change and the comfortable place itself. You took a place by a long table, Pascale and Charles on either end like the heads of the family, even though it was Lorenzo who was the oldest brother. Through time you've noticed that the quietest Leclerc was often ignored or left out, so you weren’t surprised when Charles took what should’ve been Lori's place.
While you awaited your meals, a little boy around 4 years old run up to your table with a basket of cutlery and a piece of paper with a pen on top. He handed the basket to Charles then pointed at the paper and pen. The man chuckled and signed the paper then gave it to the boy after ruffling his hair. You smiled brightly at their little encounter. When the boy was about to run away a waitress, probably his mother, stopped him and turned him around.
“Honey what do we say? “
They made their way back to your table and the little boy quickly thanked Charles before running off.
“I'm sorry, he's a little shy”
The woman explained bringing your group the food you ordered. She was tall and beautiful, had long blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, seemed around your age and clearly caught Charles' eye. It wasn’t like he immediately fell in lover with her, but he did find her attractive. She was a perfect match for him in Pascale’s eyes and she couldn’t care less that she had a kid already.
Throughout the whole dinner Pascale talked the young woman and her son up, inviting them to eat with you which the blonde had to deny due to her being at work but let her little boy join you. Soon Leo opened up and turned out to be a bubble of joy. He sat on Charles' lap eventually moving to yours when Leclerc had to use the bathroom. That’s when Pascale asked.
“So Y/N. Are you thinking of having kids with Charles? “
You choked on your drink hearing the question. Putting the glass away you coughed a little before responding.
“Well uh... I-I don't want to have kids... I'm not really a fan of them... And I'm sure pregnancy is a beautiful thing but it just scares me too much... “
The blonde laughed. She always laughed into your face when you talked about your beliefs and you slowly couldn’t stand it.
“Oh you're funny. Charles wants to have a lot of kids so it's not like you have a choice. You'll change your mind when he gets you pregnant “
“I'm sure you would love that”
You mumbled under your nose sarcastically knowing well she'd rather die than let her son have kids with you.
“It's her body and her choice mom. If she doesn’t want to have kids I'm not gonna maker her”
Charles said as he overheard a bit of your conversation. His hand squeezed your arm reassuringly. He would never make you do something you didn’t want to.
“Then you should change her for a new model! I want to have grandkids! Leo's mom is a really nice woman. Perfect for you and already has a kid so it wouldn’t be a problem for her to have more “
“Mom”
Charles sighed heavily rubbing his forehead, his hand moving to your lap and soothing it. He felt how tense and angry you were even though you didn’t show it.
“What? I'm just saying the truth-“
“You're just ruining the atmosphere. Y/N is a perfect girl for our Charlie and you should not care if she's a vegetarian, an atheist, a red head, doesn’t want to have kids, etc. etc. What matters is that she loves him and he feels happy with her”
Lorenzo stepped in getting annoyed by his mother. He had enough of her critical opinions about you as you really weren’t that bad.
“And you, Brutus, against me? “
Pascale gasped at her oldest talking back for the first time.
“Yes. I have enough of you talking bad about Y/N. We all have, as it is the only topic you seem to care about. It’s Christmas we should act like a normal, happy family we are and be glad that Charles joined us at all and not criticize his girlfriend”
“Lori's right... You went too far... “
Pierre added quietly. The rest of the dinner Pascale was quiet. She felt sad after her kids words but didn’t feel bad after hers.
Back at home the boys apologized for being so harsh and made up with their mother, but it wasn’t like she was going to be nicer to you.
“I'm sorry for today... “
Charles mumbled handing you a cup of hot cocoa with some vodka and joining you on the couch. You snuggled next to him and thanked for the liquid, then said after taking a sip.
“It's okay I understand it... She would never like me... Good think it's going to end soon... “
You whispered the last sentence loud enough for only Charles to hear, even though you were the only ones awake. Or so you thought. Leclerc wasn’t the only one that heard you. A few seconds earlier Pierre made his way down stairs to have some water and he overheard your short conversation. At first his heart ached as he noticed you two on the couch, getting jealous it wasn’t him instead of Charles, but then the knot loosened after what you've said.
“It's going to end soon”
He started to slowly connect the dots which were a good omen for him. On the other hand, Charles felt sad. He didn’t want this to end, never. The man hoped that he'd manage to make you fall in love with him in those 2 days, although you didn’t seem to change your thoughts about him yet. He had to try harder. That night you fell asleep in his arms, he took you to your shared room and layed with you on the bed. He was shocked but at the same time glad that you didn’t wake up and make him sleep on the floor.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Waking up to finding yourself on top of Charles wasn’t the best experience. You didn’t remember much from the previous night and started to worry that something happened between you two.
For the rest of the day you tried to ignore him as best as you could, which made Pascale happy. She hoped that after your previous day's conversation, you had a talk or maybe even a quarrel with her son that slowly led to your breakup. It was difficult though. It was the Christmas Eve after all and everyone had some chores to do, sometimes landing you with him to do something or just constantly passing him by.
You didn’t intend on blowing up by the Christmas table but this time Pascale started to offend your family. A family that died in a car accident when you were little, the view of firefighters putting out the burning crashed car as you sat int the ambulance and watched everything engraved in your brain, hunting you almost each night. That was another reason why you agreed to Charles’ request. You wanted to finally spend Christmas with a family in a pleasant atmosphere. But it wasn’t given to you...
“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! “
You shot up from your place and shouted on top of your lungs at the blonde.
“IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE SUCH AN ALIEN! “
“I'M AN ALIEN?! LOOK AT YOURSELF! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO YOU BUT YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE A BITCH! ALL OF YOU DO! I REGRET AGREEING TO EVEN COME HERE! NOT MENTIONING SPENDING ALMOST THE WHOLE WEEK WITH YOU! FUCK IT I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW. I PREFER TO SPEND THE CHRISTMAS ALONE THAN WITH YOU! “
“GREAT! LEAVE AND NEVER EVER COME BACK YOU SLUT! “
You left the dining room in tears, quickly put on your coat and run out of the house. Pierre rushed after you while Charles and Lorenzo started to fight with their mother.
Pierre hopped into his car and quickly drove up to you. He softly honked at you a few times while calling your name.
“LEAVE ME ALONE!”
You shouted after stopping, mascara mixed with tears falling down your cheeks, hair disheveled and body trembling as you wore only your thigh length, red, sequin dress under the coat.
“Come in, please... You're freezing... “
After a few minutes of convincing, you got into the car and Pierre drove away.
“Where are you taking me?... “
You asked quietly, from time to time sniffling.
“Somewhere we can chill out in”
He explained squeezing your covered thigh. After you entered the vehicle he immediately took off his jacket and put it on your legs then planted his palm on your limb to assure you everything was going to be alright. Pierre parked his car in front of a bar then helped you out and inside. You ordered some drinks and filled one of the booths before chugging one after another. That's what you needed, to get drunk and forget about everything.
“Your family is hell... How do you even stand them!? “
You mumbled out with a hiccup. Your head was propped on your hand with the elbow on the table, you looked terrible, a wreck of a woman, but to Pierre you've looked more beautiful than ever. He was more than happy to have this little moment with you, even if it was supposed to end soon with you passing out. A thing he didn’t knew was that you had a really strong head and you were just a little tipsy after 3 drinks and 2 beers.
“I don’t know either... They're usually not that bad... I don’t know what happened this time”
“I happened. You can’t deny it... They just hate me for nothing and I can’t stand it anymore! “
Your free hand hit the table almost spilling your 3rd beer.
“Yeah I've noticed”
The man chuckled while you huffed unamused, your brows furrowing.
“It's funny to you? “
You hissed at which he shook his head.
“Maybe a little... “
Pierre admitted making you hit his head with a beer cap. He laughed once again this time getting one out of you too. Soon you got really comfortable with him and did what Charles feared the most.
“You know... There's something I want to tell you... “
“I'm listening”
“I'm... I'm not actually Charles’ girlfriend... We're just best friends and he asked me to come with him so you would stop asking him about a second half... Guess that didn’t turn out as he wished it would... “
You sighed melting into the couch. The man was silent for a while before he stood up and sat next to you.
“Then... You won’t be mad if I do this?... “
Looking up at him confused you felt his palm capture your chin and his finger brush along your bottom lip while gazing lovingly and deeply into your eyes. Before you could say something he connected your lips in a soft kiss, giving you time to pull away. But you didn’t. Instead straddling his lap and deepening the kiss. It might have been because of the alcohol, or just because of your mutual attraction that you soon found yourself naked in the back of his car, getting marked and taken great care of. It felt bad but oh so good... By midnight you came back home and continued your sinful ministrations in his bedroom.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Waking up on the first day of Christmas by his side you finally felt like you belonged there, belonged to the family, belonged to him. You weren’t scared, weirded out nor uncomfortable, not like with Charles. You felt as if Pierre was the one thing that was missing in your life.
“Morning... “
Soon you could hear him mumble. You looked up with a soft smile and placed a soft kiss to his lips.
“Will you drive me back home?... I'm not sure I'll be able to look Charles in the eyes after yesterday... “
You sighed resting your chin on top of his chest and played with it's hair. Pierre raised his eyebrow at you, a slightly sad expression forming on his face.
“You didn’t... Enjoy it?”
He whispered at which you shook your head.
“No, no. I enjoyed it, I really did but... I don’t know... It felt a bit wrong... “
You looked away with a sigh thinking of Charles’ reaction if he found out what you two were up to the previous night. He would've been furious with both of you most probably starting a fight and setting the house on fire and neither of you would like that.
“Stay... Just for the breakfast... And I'll drive you home in the afternoon. You still have presents to give us don’t you? “
Pierre started to rub your back and draw patterns on it, trying to calm you down and make relaxed once again.
“I'm sure you wouldn’t like them... Besides Charles can give them to you-”
“But I want to receive it from you. Not from Charles. Not from Lorenzo. From you. Please... Stay... For me... “
Looking into his eyes you saw the sparkles and hearts once again, your heart melting at the sight. You exhaled and agreed reluctantly. That family was going to be the end of you... You were about to get up and start getting dressed when Lorenzo knocked on the door and walked in right after.
“Pierre where's Y/N-“
You hid your bare chest from his view and pulled away from Pierre but was unable to say anything when Lorenzo quickly left and shut the door.
“Fuck. We're fucked. Oh my god that was a bad idea”
You rumbled while getting dressed in the speed of light. When you shot out of Gasly's room you bumped into Leclerc, patiently waiting for you to leave.
“Lori I-“
“Shhh... It's not your fault. You let him fool yourself, but it’s no wonder considering the situation you’re in. I don’t blame you and won’t tell anyone. Now, go make yourself presentable. We don’t want mom to see you like this do we? “
The man placed a kiss on top of your head before rushing you away. You were really confused with his reaction but glad as fuck that he didn’t immediately run to Charles to tell him. After you walked away, Lorenzo stormed into Pierre's room.
“WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! “
Lorenzo tried to throw a punch straight to Gasly's face but due to being way weaker, the Frenchman easily stopped him pinning him down on the bed.
“Calm down and shut up”
He hissed before releasing Leclerc.
“Are you crazy?! She's Charlie’s girlfriend! He's your bestfriend! Your family! “
Pierre rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He knew well that what you did was wrong but he didn’t feel bad. Quite the contrary. He felt like on cloud 9 after spending the night with you. Not only because you had sex but because you could finally be alone. Just the two of you. No Pascale. No Charles. Just Y/N and Pierre.
In meanwhile you passed Pascale on the corridor. Of course she wasn’t happy to see you in the morning, but thankfully didn’t pay attention to your tired and disheveled state. Neither did the woman notice you leave Pierre’s room earlier.
“What are you still doing here? “
Turning around on your heel you took a deep breath and started.
“I decided to stay until tomorrow morning. Just for Charles. And I sincerely apologize for my yesterdays manners. I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that but your own actions aren’t the best either. I’m sorry once again “
The woman looked you up and down in complete silence before walking away without a word. The only thing she could admit she liked about you was that you were able to apologize and admit your mistakes, not like herself.
“Where were you?”
Charles asked as you quietly entered your shared room, hoping you wouldn’t wake him up but he was up all night.
“I’ve tried to reach you and Pierre the whole night. Where. Were. You. “
The man got up from the bed and slowly walked up to you, caging you between the door and himself.
“Pierre took me to a bar... We’ve spent there the whole night and came back like 2 hours ago... “
You gulped looking up at the man. Good thing you went to the bathroom and corrected your appearance before going in there or you would've been in way more trouble. Charles sighed, his hands capturing yours and squeezing them gently.
“I was looking for you everywhere... You don’t even know how worried I was... I know you were angry but you could’ve at least let me know you’re alright... Or make Pierre call me... “
One of his hands brushed your cheek as his eyes averted between yours and your pink lips. Charles wanted to kiss you so bad but figured you could be still mad and decided otherwise. Plus he was still furious at Pierre taking you somewhere without his knowledge, and if you blew up he would blow up too. Then knowing your both’s tempers the whole house would be on fire with Pascale and Arthur constantly adding gasoline.
“I know... I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to worry you, it’s just that... I couldn’t stand it anymore... I want to go home...”
A single tear fell down your cheek which Charles quickly kissed away. He hated to see you in that state, but what he hated even more was that he was the one who caused it. If he hadn’t asked you for that favor, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. He was a shitty bestfriend.
“I love her okay? I just... I just can’t help it... “
Pierre blurted out making Lorenzo shut up and look at him in disbelief. He couldn’t believe in the Frenchman.
“You- WHAT?! “
The Monegasque threw himself at Pierre, a fight unraveling between the two, destroying almost the whole room before they flew out of it through the door, landing on the floor with a loud thump. The noise caught everyone’s attention, saving you from the too uncomfortable conversation with Charles.
“Oh my god boys!”
Pascale tried to push them away from each other before getting shooed over by Carlos and Arthur, so she wouldn’t accidentally get hurt, who stopped the fight. Lorenzo wriggled in his younger brother’s arms angrily, blood running down his nose while Pierre already calmed down a little and touched his black eye gently.
“What have you done!?”
Pascale shouted at you with anger in her eyes. Sure the fight was about you but it’s not like you caused it... Maybe not entirely but still.
“Why do you already accuse me?! I wasn’t even there! I was with Charles!”
The middle Leclerc nodded confirmingly while his arm wrapped around your waist pulling you close in a protective manner. Pierre wanted to vomit at the sight, blood boiled in his vains and he was ready to start another fight this time with Charles but knew better than that. The man just wanted the Christmas to be over so he could finally take you out somewhere and spend some time with you in a normal, nice atmosphere. Without Charles, without Lorenzo, without his family. Just you and him. Together.
“But I’m sure it’s your fault! My boys aren’t my boys anymore since you’ve showed up here! You’ve ruined them! “
You were ready to throw a punch at her and you would’ve done that if not her whole family watching you. Instead you just kept rushing Lorenzo to the bathroom to help him with his nose and talk about the fight.
“I did not expect this from you...”
You huffed angrily, sitting him down on a stool in front of you.
“This is a house of fucking madmen...”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry... But when Pierre disrespected my little brother like that I just couldn’t hold it in anymore...”
The man sighed looking up at you with those big, brown puppy eyes of his. You softly shook your head before proceeding to wipe the blood away from underneath his nose.
“I think... I need to tell you something. You just... Need to stay calm okay?”
“I don’t like where this is going...”
“I know you love your brother with your whole heart and think I’m the best lady he could have but... This is all a lie... We’re not together... We’re just best friends... He asked me to join you because he had enough of constant questions about the other half and hoped bringing me with himself would solve it... But it didn’t. Instead making even more chaos...”
You said on one breath then watched Lori’s face for any signs of his reaction. The man was quiet for a longer time before finally speaking.
“Oh... That's... That’s a pity... And... And I started to get so happy you would be my sister in law... I’m sorry that’s- that’s just stupid”
The Monegasque stood up and was about to leave when you grabbed his shoulders and sat him back down. You embraced him in a warm hug and gave a gentle kiss to his head.
“I may not be your sister in law but you can always count on me. No matter what. You’re like a brother I’ve never had, Lori”
“Stop it or I’m gonna cry...”
He hid his face in the crook of your neck while hugging you back. He felt sad that you and Charles weren’t actually together and was sorry for his brother due to his apparent attraction to you and your obliviousness.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
“This morning started just incredibly...”
Pascale sighed as she sat down in her armchair in the living room. The whole group already after breakfast now waiting for Lorenzo, who was still with you, to join them so they could unpack their presents. The atmosphere was dense, you could cut it with a knife, yet you still decided to give them your presents first to have it over already. You walked down the stairs with Lorenzo, both holding a few bags, then entered the quiet living room. Taking a deep breath you started your monologue while the Monegasque handed out your gifts.
“I know you have enough of me already, so you can do whatever you want with those. Sell them. Throw them away. Heck even burn them! I don’t care. I just wanted to say sorry that I ruined your Christmas and hopefully next year everything would be way better. Without me of course. Coming here I was hoping for an enjoyable, family Christmas – one that I haven’t had since I was five, when my parents died. But it turned out how it turned out and honestly... In contrast to what I’ve said yesterday – I don’t regret joining you. I am just crazy and this was fun. You can open those now”
With that said you let them open the gifts. Each one of them received a different, knitted by you, Christmas sweater. You once saw a really old family photo at Charles’, one where his father was still alive and Arthur was just a little baby. Everyone was dressed in sweaters like those, with huge smiles on their faces and you hoped to recreate that moment before you came there.
You’ve tried your best to freshen out their designs while keeping the overall vibe of each piece, spending a lot of time on making them without Charles’ knowledge. Now you couldn’t care less.
But seeing their reactions, especially Pascale’s, made your heart break in half. The older woman started to cry, the rest following after. Some just sniffling like Pierre or Charles, too manly to show any emotions. Some cried their eyes out like Arthur and the older woman, which shocked you a lot. You looked confused between them before Carlos spoke up.
“Herve used to make such sweaters for us every Christmas... Then took million photos of us wearing them, proud of his opus... We haven’t worn such sweaters for Christmas every since his death... Thank you Y/N... It’s the best gif we could’ve ever receive”
The man got up hugging you tightly, Rebecca and Lorenzo following shortly after.
“It even looks like my first one...”
Arthur blurted out, almost choking on his tears as he looked down at the piece then back at you.
“Thank you...”
“I... I had no idea...”
You mumbled out. Your heart melted at the view and you were more than pleased that they loved them.
“I’m sorry...”
Soon you heard Pascale whisper through tears. You smiled softly and crouched down in front of her embracing her in a warm hug. The woman didn’t say anything instead hiding her face in your shoulder. You held her like that for a longer time, not saying a word not wanting to startle her, as the whole family watched with huge smiles. When she pulled away you wiped her tears away and helped her put on the sweater.
“It’s beautiful... Thank you...”
The older woman said quietly, while looking down. She was too ashamed to look into your eyes. After receiving your gift she finally understood that you tried your best to fit into their family, not trying to impose your views on them which she accused you of.
She understood her behaviour towards you was horrible and undeserved as you didn’t do anything bad to her nor her son. Quite the contrary. You seemed to make Charles even more happier than he was.
The death of her husband and constant thought of loosing her children too changed her so much she didn’t even realise she started to be toxic. And it wasn’t only to you. Earlier she was critical of every previous girlfriend that any of her sons brought home, but she was just terrible to you and nothing could justify her doings. But your heart was too big to not forgive her after her apology. You felt it was sincere and even shed a tear before hugging her once again.
After you had your little moment with Pascale, Charles got up and announced.
“Well... I guess I should say sorry too. To all of you. For lying straight into your faces... We’re actually not together with Y/N. I just wanted you to fuck off from my love life, that’s why I brought her... I’m sorry once again... “
The whole family forgave him immediately, actually being a little sad it all was a lie as they saw the fire in Charles’ eyes whenever he looked at you.
“Tell her...”
Lorenzo tried to persuade his younger brother quietly, earning a confused look from you and Pascale.
“Tell me what?”
You asked soon, too impatient to wait. You watched the man make his way over to you and sit down beside you on the floor. He captured your hands in his and gave each a sweet kiss before confessing his love.
“I love you Y/N L/N. I always did... Since we’ve met I knew you were the one for me... I can’t live without you. Without your smile. Without your laugh. Those beautiful green eyes... I just- Will you be my girlfirend? This time for real?...”
Feeling uneasy with what you’ve just heard and all the eyes watching you, you looked at Pierre hoping he’d help you. He was hurt and scared you would say yes, making your eyes water.
“No you can’t- You can’t be in love with me... That’s a joke right? Please tell me it’s a joke”
Shaking your head you felt tears spill down your cheeks and an awkward chuckle escaped your lips. It was all too much for one day.
“It’s not like I haven’t been humiliated enough...”
You stood up from your place and was about to leave when Charles caught your hand and stopped you.
“Y/N I’m serious”
“Serious!? Nothing in this house- this family, is serious! You all hate me for stupidest things ever and you dare to say you’re serious!?”
You hissed, emotions steering inside of you, slowly spilling out.
“We don’t hate you...”
Arthur said but you knew better.
“OH REALLY?! And you of all people say that. Y/N this... Y/N that... A bimbo. A heathen. A leafhead! That’s what you all think of me... You think I’m not good enough for your Lord Perceval... And I don’t want to be! I’m an alien who ruined your Christmas and then slept with Pierre!”
You shouted out without realising what you’ve just said.
“What?”
Charles confused question made you comprehend your words and cover your mouth with your hands in shock. The room felt silent, only the faint sound of clock ticking could be heard until the middle Leclerc launched himself at Gasly.
“YOU SON OF A BITCH!”
“Not again!”
Pierre shouted as they dropped out the door, this time the front ones, onto the cold and wet snow. The other men tried to get them away from one another, each failing getting hurt in proces.
“You motherfucker how could you! You’re my best friend and you fucked the girl you knew well I love!”
Soon Leclerc straddled Pierre, palms tightly wrapped around his neck trying to choke him. You’ve never seen Charles so mad, which only confirmed his words that he indeed loved you. Otherwise he wouldn’t try to kill his bestie. Finally, after the 7 of you managed to pull them away you wanted to sink into the ground and die.
“You hate me now, don’t you?”
You asked quietly, entering the room you previously shared with Charles. The Monegasque sat on the bed and gazed at something way before you came there, not moving an inch even after you sat down next to him.
“I'm sorry-“
“I should’ve told you a long time ago... “
“But it my answer would've been no different... I love you Charles, but as a brother and nothing will change that. I'm sorry... “
The man layed down and placed his head on your legs as you started to play with his hair. You've talked for a long time eventually understanding each other's feelings and that nothing would come out of it.
With time and your help, Charles has managed to move on from you. Exactly a year later, you met at the same house once again, this time in a slightly changed composition.
Charles burst in with Leo in his arms and Kate following shortly after. They greeted everyone before finally walking up to you and Pierre.
“We have a little surprise... “
You bit your lip out of excitement while Pierre lifted up his last year's sweater from tour belly revealing a baby bump.
“We think of naming him Perceval”
The Frenchman teased as Leclerc gazed at you in disbelief and excitement.
“Oh you have to call him Charles or Charlie. You owe me that! “
He joked with a loud chuckled, secretly hoping you actually would do that.
"I thought you didn't want to have kids"
Kate asked. You gazed up at Pierre with a loving look them averted your eyes back to Charles and his new girlfriend.
"I think I'm ready"
You never thought that agreeing to help your best friend would change your life 360 degrees. Yet there you were, just a year later, finally accepted in the family, carrying it's another member. You couldn’t have wished for better holidays...
155 notes · View notes
Text
Jealousy
Pairing: Joel Miler x f!reader
Word Count: 3k
Content: non-established relationship, third party, jealousy, hurt/comfort?, fluff, Joel is one dense idiot, confessions
A/N: This was the outcome of my drinking coffee at 10pm and not being able to fall asleep after that till 3am
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Being dragged to a party was enough to ruin your day. It was already a taxing day, you had gone out for patrol early this morning and couldn’t even catch a break when you returned. Since the clinic needed extra help since it was flu season. When you were finally on your way back home, ready to crash into bed early today. You bumped into Tommy who wouldn’t take no for an answer, insisting that you must turn up for the party that Maria organized to welcome the new people into town. 
   The woman that was basically glued to Joel’s side did not help matters at all. Her arm was on Joel’s bicep as she laughed into his shoulder. You stood in the corner, annoyance clear on your face as you finished the bottle in your hand. Your vision was going blurry and the room spun around you. Your body was slumped against the wall, all the warning signs going off in your head that you should stop with the alcohol. 
  The only thing that was still clear in your mind was the vision of the two of them. The obnoxious laughter erupting from her and how her hands traveled Joel’s arm. 
  “Hey hey.” A hand waved in front of your blurry vision, making your head hurt even more. “It’s Tommy.” Tommy’s hands firmly gripped onto your shoulders, grounding you to reality. Your words slurred together as you muttered a greeting to him through your drunken stupor.
  “Jesus, how much did you drink? What has gotten into you?” Tommy exclaimed in disbelief over the loud music. You merely laughed in Tommy’s face, trying your best not to puke your guts onto him. 
  “I’ll take care of her.” Even in your drunken state, you recognized that voice immediately. “No.” You blurted out. “You don’t need help?” Tommy asked for good measure, Joel merely grunted in response. He put your hands around his shoulder to help you stand. The woman he was with appeared in your view again and you were suddenly reminded of the reason why you were in this state in the first place. “Fuck off.” You cursed, pushing Joel away from you before stumbling into a wall. Your head was spinning as you watched him get held back by the woman as you clumsily made your way out of the pub. 
    Joel calmly helped hold your hair back. You were bending over the grass, emptying the contents of your stomach into the field. A small hint of annoyance on his face at the fact that you had pushed him away and told him to “fuck off”. Concern was more evident on his face as he watched you. A series of curses escaped your mouth as you coughed, you felt humiliated that he had to watch you ungracefully vomit onto the grass. 
   Joel quietly handed you a bottle of water that he had brought. You gulped it down, the water sobering you up. Letting you comprehend the weight of your actions.Before you could do anything to push Joel away again, he swiftly bent down and wrapped your legs around his hips. “Don’t be difficult.” Joel warned, standing up to his full height with you on his back. 
==================+
   Joel woke up with a grunt, stretching his sore back. He really was getting on age. His first instinct was to check on you. He stood up, towering over you on his bed. He snickered upon watching you while he gently tucked you properly under the sheets. Joel should wake you up for patrol but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not when you would probably wake up with a bad hangover and you’re sleeping so soundly in his bed. His eyes stared at the mattress that he had slept on, it wasn’t like the both of you didn’t share a bed before. You slept in his bed often, he would wake up sprawled out in bed with his arms around you and your chin on his head. However, he still felt that it was wrong to be sleeping in the same bed as you when you were drunk. Especially when you had muttered to him drowsily, “You’re so handsome, I want to kiss you.” He shivered slightly at the memory of it, his whole body burning up and turning red at just the thought of it. 
    Yeah, he definitely wouldn’t survive the night if he had slept next to you. 
   Joel went to Tommy first to explain the situation. Tommy only sighed in defeat, telling Joel that he and any other available men were due for a visit to the dam to ensure that everything was ok for the winter. “You could just not do it today. I’ll send a bigger group tomorrow instead.’ Tommy suggested. There was an unspoken rule in Jackson, no one does patrols alone. “I’ll look around.” Joel replied he wasn’t one to put things off, preferring to get it done to prevent matters from snowballing. 
   Joel went around town, Jesse was busy with the preparations for the dam. Ellie was still knocked out from the party yesterday. He was at wit's end as he contemplated if he should wake you up instead. 
  “Joel! You’re up early.” Joel gave Julia a polite nod. “I have patrol,” he replied. Julia grinned, putting her hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “Stay safe.” He nodded, about to stride past her when the idea popped into his head. “Do you mind going to patrol with me?” he asked. Julia’s face brightened, a slight flush on her cheeks. “Yeah, yeah sure!” She agreed with no hesitation. 
   Julia was new. She doesn’t even know the route that Joel was taking today nor did she have the skills to ride a horse which was required for the longer route. It was the whole reason why Joel had told her to ride with him. “Stay close to me ya hear?” He instructed as he swiftly hopped onto his horse. “You say that like it’s a hard thing to do.” Julia smiled shyly. Julia was flirting with him. He cleared his throat awkwardly, averting his gaze elsewhere to distract himself. 
   His breath hitched in his throat when he saw you. You were dressed in his winter jacket, your eyes were on him. He watched as you turned away from him and walked away before he could even call you over. Joel chewed on his lip, he will talk to you when he’s back. 
=========================================
    The hangover was bad. Bad enough for you to not remember a single thing after you had blacked out on Joel’s back. Bad enough to not make you want to get up. You recognised the bed, it was Joel’s considering that it was a queen size bed. Yours was merely a single. You weren’t a stranger to Joel’s bed, you frequented it rather often for someone who wasn’t even in a relationship with him. There was mattress pulled out beside the bed, you assumed  Joel had slept on the mattress on the floor from the untidied blanket. You took the hangover pills that Joel had left for you at his bedside, heart warming at his small gesture. 
  The clock on his bedside reminded you that you woke up just in time to make it for your patrol. Despite feeling like there was someone pounding in your head, you still felt obligated to turn up as Joel’s partner. It was a responsibility and duty after all.
 You trudged in the cold snow, zipping the winter jacket that you had stolen from his closet. It was times like this that you wished you weren’t such a responsible person. You wished you would just stay in the comfort of his bed and rest. Joel was already saddled on his horse, behind him sat the woman from the bar yesterday, her arms wrapped tightly around Joel’s waist. You clenched your jaw, kicking at the snow at your boot. 
  He could have said something. You thought bitterly to yourself. Your gaze lingered on him, he must have noticed it considering how his eyes met yours from a distance. You turned away before you could gauge his reaction, dragging yourself back into the comfort of your own home.
==============================
   Joel stood at your door, holding onto a box filled with some cake. Maria baked the cake today and set Joel on the mission to bring you some as well. Although Tommy’s expression might have given away Maria’s hidden agenda. Joel likes to believe that he wasn’t dense, but he really can’t recall what he did to piss you off. However, it seems that Maria already knew from how she practically ordered Joel to bring you cake as a peace offering. 
  The first thing Joel noticed when you opened the door was your scowl. You usually smiled when you saw him. “I brought cake.” He announced, lifting the box in his hands. Your hand almost slammed the door right in his face upon hearing that. “Give it to Ellie.” You said, your eyebrows furrowing further. “Is this your purpose for visiting me?” You asked, Joel stumbled over his words in surprise. “Yea-” You took the box from his hands. “Thanks,” You forced out, “You can go now. Bye.” Joel's eyes widened as you closed the door on him. 
    “Hey!” Joel pushed against your door with his hands, stopping you. “What is your problem?” He snapped. You scoffed, “Since we are both so mad at each other, let’s just cut this interaction short.” He shook his head, “I just didn’t like how you’re treating me alright?” Joel defended, “We should be talking, stop acting like a child throwing a petty temper.” Joel scolded. You glared at him. Joel pushed past you, ignoring your glare, and sat down on your couch.  He patted the seat beside him, demanding that you sat next to him and talk to him. 
   “The hell was that? The hell is wrong with you?” He started. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his tone. “Let’s just say I’m not interested in the stupid cake she made for you.” You snarked. Joel tilted his head in confusion, “Maria?” he muttered, not understanding you. You closed your eyes in embarrassment, it was Maria who made the cake. “No- just-” You groaned in frustration. He waited beside you while you find the words to express yourself, his eyes scanning yours for any hints of what had made you upset. “I just thought you would have at least informed me beforehand.” Joel ran his hands through his hair, trying to tell what you were referring to. His eyebrows furrowed even further, “Oh, patrol. You’re upset that I left without you?” Joel asked, remembering how he had seen you turn away from him and walk back. He didn’t chase after you then, despite wanting to. He was already late, the sun was coming up and he had to admit that he struggled quite a long time before he found someone to be his partner. You wanted to dig a hole 6 feet under and bury yourself, how is Joel missing the main point that was pissing you off? “You could have told me you were going to patrol with someone else.” You stated. He sat up, “You mean Julia?”  You pushed down the bitter feeling at hearing him mutter her name. 
    “I thought you would appreciate the rest. The hangover must be bad.” He explained. You closed your eyes. The problem didn’t lie in him finding someone else to go for patrol with him, it was the fact that he got Julia, the woman who looked at him with literal heart shapes in her eyes. “But you aren’t just mad over that, are you? You were pretty mean to me yesterday too.” Joel continued. You panicked a little, wondering what you had done in your drunken state. “I- I just can’t stand Julia alright?” You admitted. “Come on, we both knew what she was trying to do right? And you let her.” 
  Joel pursed his lips, trying his best to bite back his smile. It finally clicked, you’re jealous. “What was she doing?” He challenged. In his defence, he only realised today what Julia was doing, that she was flirting with him. Your eyes widened, “Are you blind? You didn’t know?” You were exasperated, “She’s trying to get into your pants Joel, for lack of a better word.” Joel chuckled. “And that upset you.” You cursed internally, you walked straight into the stupid trap he had laid out for you. “I’m not jealous.” You lied blatantly, “It was just so attention seeking, I hate attention seekers.” You said, body relaxing. He grinned at your response and how you relaxed, he was finally getting to you. “I hate you Joel, stop playing dumb.” You shoved him. Joel laughed, “in my defense, I truly didn’t catch on till today.” 
   “What made you realise then? Did she finally achieve her goal?” You replied sarcastically. 
   “She kissed me. Everything fell into place after that.” Joel admitted. The silence was heavy, your mind was overcrowded with thoughts. 
================
   “Finally! The checkpoint! My feet were killing me.” Julia complained. Joel merely hummed in response, his mind going back to you. You never complained, hell you even liked the walks. Sometimes the both of you would even venture further because you liked walking while talking to Joel and he certainly didn’t mind. He flipped open the patrol book in the hut, signing his name and Julia’s into it. 
   His body stiffened significantly and he almost instinctively elbowed her. Julia had wrapped his arms around his waist while he was signing, he could feel her breath on his back as she leaned into him. Joel immediately turned, pushing her away gently as he pressed himself against the table, trying to put some distance between Julia and him. “What are you-“ 
   Her lips were on his. His mind short-circuited at her sudden action. Julia's lips moved against his and he jerked away, turning his head away from her. “I- what-“ he couldn’t even find the right words to say to her as he looked at her. “Joel, I’m sorry. I just can’t help it.” She started. She ran her hands through her hair, “I really like you, Joel. I-“ 
   “I don't. I don’t feel anything close to that for you.” Joel stated clearly. His tone was so cold while he glared daggers at her. “But- but you let me flirt. “ her words were background noise to him. That was what he got for being dense huh. He had honestly thought she was just being nice to him and so he too was nice to her. He didn’t expect to give her the wrong idea. 
   Everything else was a blur after that. Joel never rode so fast in his life back to Jackson. He could hear Julia sniffling behind him but he honestly couldn’t care less. Feeling extremely disgusted at her sudden gestures, that she had approached him with the agenda of something more. As though he would marry her at first sight or something. Joel is an old fashioned man, he didn’t believe in love at first sight, he firmly believed that you had to get to know someone before you could fall in love with them. 
=================
   All feelings of jealousy had left you already. You were bent over, cackling as Joel retold the events of today. “I don’t see anything funny.” He deadpanned. “Your face, Joel just imagine your face, the horror when she kissed you. She should have snapped a photo or something.” You laughed. Joel smiled, relieved to know that you weren’t upset anymore. “I can’t believe you got jealous.” He reminded you. You stopped laughing, “I wasn’t” “Yeah you keep telling yourself that.” He drawled. 
   “I don’t blame you. Thinking back, I would be jealous if I was in your shoes.” He said, his arm was over your shoulder now. Your legs were thrown over his lap while your head leaned against his arm behind you. The tension between the both of you is long gone. “A man coming to you, laughing with his hands all over you. Then riding off into the sunrise with you. Nah I doubt that, he probably won’t even survive the night at the bar, he definitely won’t be your partner for patrol the next day.” “Ok sounds like violent tendencies to me.” You joked. He smiled. 
   “Being jealous tends to apply to people in a relationship.” Joel pointed out. “Being jealous of people getting too close doesn’t usually apply to close friends or whatever we are.” You knew what he was getting at, the line of being just friends has been blurred between the both of you for the longest time. “Would you be my boyfriend?” You asked in a mocking voice. A voice that reminded you of a schoolgirl trying to confess to their hallway crush. He laughed, “Took you long enough.” You nudged him, “Aren’t guys supposed to make the first move?” “Well, Julia made the first move.” He teased “Fine! Go back to her then.” You rolled your eyes.
   Joel cupped your cheek and pressed his lips to yours, effectively silencing you. He was gentle like he was afraid of scarring or breaking you. When he pulled away, he looked at you with a boyish smile. “You’re so handsome I want to kiss you.” He imitated your voice yesterday.
   There was no way you said that. You recognised that he was mocking you but you had zero recollection of saying that. He must be just teasing you right? “You might have whispered that into my ear when I placed you down on my bed before snoring loudly seconds later,” Joel said. Your jaw dropped in horror, “You’re lying. I don’t snore.” You defended, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. “That is the most attractive thing ever. I definitely wouldn’t remember it wrongly.” You hid your face in his shoulder, you wished you were six feet under now. “Please forget it.” You muttered. He chuckled. 
   “If I had forgotten it, I wouldn’t have kissed you.”
  It was weird how jealousy had brought the both of you together. 
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hwangyeddeongie · 9 days
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This just randomly came to mind but headcanons of Yeji with a muscled masc gf? Idk why but I feel like she’d be an absolute sucker for people fitting that description🎀
omg this ask got me out of the gutter at first I thought it said “Yeji AS a muscled masc” and I was like fuck yeah and then I saw it was “Yeji with a muscled masc” and now I might need to write two versions bc 😩
as a muscled girl who’s always been self conscious about not being “feminine enough” this was healing to write, so thanks for the ask! sorry it’s so short :(
yeji x muscled!fem!reader hcs
Fluff, Suggestive
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-you have a habit of wearing baggy clothes in general, just because they’re more comfortable to you than short or slim fits
-so yeji doesn’t actually know how ripped you are until you guys are a few months into your relationship
-she knows you’re strong from the way you squeeze her when you kiss and how you can pick her up with ease, and she loves it
-influenced by chaeryeong, she decides she wants to start going to the gym
-you already have a membership somewhere, and offer to go with her for the first few sessions to help her out
-she agrees, elated to do something she knows you’re passionate about with you
-you wear your usual attire, a hoodie and shorts with a sports bra underneath
-but for some reason, it’s warmer inside the gym than it usually is, which prompts you to take off your hoodie a few minutes into your workout
-you finish a whole set of pull ups before you notice yeji is staring, mouth agape
-“what?” you say as she walks over to you from her station
-she reaches out a hand and runs her fingers over your bicep, and then squeezes it
-“I didn’t know you were so…muscular.” she blushes, staring in awe
-after that, she insists on you wearing less covering clothing
-goes FERAL for muscle tees
-like you only wear those if you’re purposefully trying to rile her up
-tbh also loves it when you wear tops, she’s a sucker for your abs and will poke them whenever she gets the chance
-will 100% stare openly at you, only a little embarrassed when you catch her
-“are you checking me out?”
-“am I not allowed to appreciate that my girlfriend is the hottest person alive?”
-buys a gym membership, but she’s barely getting any training in, considering the only time she goes is with you, and she just spends the whole time checking you out
-likes to trace the veins on your hands and arms
-thinks it’s the hottest thing when you pick her up effortlessly or pull her in by the waist
-she squeezes your biceps a lot, esp when you hold her by the waist
-absolutely refuses to let you wear anything more than shorts and bra at home (honestly she would prefer you without anything on, but she’ll settle for this for now)
-overall she just loves your muscles
-because she loves you!
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vampiriirot · 15 days
Text
dear diary (k.ys)
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!! pairing: yeosang!nonidol au x fem!reader !! genre: angst !! summary: an arranged marriage that was steering in the right direction, except neither of you realized how much you loved each other. especially yeosang..except he found out too late. !! word count: 1.5k !! playlist: hug me cover by yeosang, j's lullaby by delaney bailey &, present by lloyd vaan
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notes: i will write fluff and crack soon i swear!! but oh gosh i sobbed the whole time writing this esp while listening to yeo's hug me cover OML.. but uh here yall go i suppose (this isn't proofread yet jjsjs-) alsooo credits to @fairytopea for this beautiful divider <3
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“I found this..when cleaning your room sir” the maid’s voice was distant, muddled as if he were underwater and she watched from the shore. “Leave it on my desk” the words were robotic, Yeosang’s eyes glued to the screen in front of him. Fingers clicking noisily at the keyboard, the laptop’s brightness burning holes into his lenses. Light no longer peeked in through the blinds of his home’s office, the darkness similar to the shadows casted beneath his weary eyes. Hours on end, without halt, were spent before the computer. He stopped going into the office, requesting to work from home. Sometimes spending days and nights, typing away, proofreading files that had been checked over thrice already.
He didn’t have much to look forward to these days.
Nonetheless, once the maid had wandered off, his eyes strayed towards the item she’d brought..a peculiar book. Worn out with time, but familiar regardless. Flashes of the book on the nightstand, sometimes on the porch swing, and then hidden at any other given moment. It was a silly cover, mimicking the book from the infamous anime ‘Death Note’. His heart shrank at the sight, soft laughs taunting his mind as his eyes stared down the inanimate object. He couldn’t focus on the repetitive work on his laptop any longer, so he heaved himself off the chair.
“Take a shower, you reek” a harmonious fit of giggles left her lips, and Yeosang rolled his eyes at the antics. 
Snatching the book off his desk, he trudged through the dim hallways of his home. It resembled a ghosttown at the moment, he was the sole inhabitant currently. The maid, long gone to her gold haven with family. His bedroom was swallowed in darkness, like storm clouds resided over the bed. He didn’t bother changing, only falling backwards into the plush, icy mattress. Chills settled permanently over the house, the atmosphere was constantly cold and lifeless.
He gripped at the notebook, lifting himself upwards so he was seated on the bed. Eyes lingering on the stickers pressed all over the gloomy black cover, little smiley faces staring back at him. It was a sight of normalcy he craved, the eccentric chaos he missed. Her beautifully peculiar nature. After a lifetime, his finger peeled open the cover, to reveal neat handwriting scrawled into the first page. It was dated for May 3rd, one year prior.
“Dear diary…No that sounds weird. Dear journal? I don’t know what to call this, I’ll figure it out. But today marks my first week of being married (even though it was arranged)! You think a girl would be swooning, especially since he’s such a hunk. But..I kinda think he hates me. Unfortunately because he’s so handsome, I guess it’s my mission to get him to fall in love with me. It will take loads of work, since he’s so quiet but I’m determined! My first tactic will be cooking him his favorite meal..and I will update once it’s done!”
“Update, I nearly burnt the kitchen down. Thank god the maid was there and it wasn’t too bad but oh god he looked so angry..He didn’t even come into the room after..disheartening but I hope some takeout will make it up to him..”
A small smile tugged at his lips, the words ushering him into their first week of marriage. He remembered it all too well, coming home to her shrieking and the maid helping her put out the small fire. He was indeed infuriated, so much so he had spent the rest of the night in his office. At an ungodly hour of the night, he heard knocking at the wooden door. She peeked her head in, holding out a tray like a peace offering.
“M’sorry for the whole..accident. I got some takeout though!” he couldn’t forget the way his heart swelled at her gesture, when she placed the tray and rushed out of the office in a flustered hurry. The plastic container was neatly arranged with utensils and a crisp bottle of water. A note attached the napkin, and it provoked a snicker from him.
‘Sleep soon or else you’ll be cranky in the morning.’
Lost in the memories, he needed more, flipping frantically onto another page. This entry was dated to December 24th of last year, Christmas eve? 
“Dear diary (it’s so cringe but anyways). It’s already Christmas, wow time flies when you’re so busy. Things are the same I suppose, but I bought him a gift! It’s a really stupid gift but I thought it suited him really well. He’s like a doberman, Yeosang the doberman. It has a great ring to it, so I got him this doberman plushy. It’s big and super cute, and I wrote this card with it…I hope he’ll like it. He seemed extra stressed this week and I didn’t want to make it all worse. What’s stupid is that, no matter how distant he seems, I find myself falling for him even more. Beneath all his stoicness, he’s a sweetheart (or that’s what I keep telling myself). Anyways, I’m writing this like two minutes before midnight so merry christmas to my journal.. Thanks for listening to me ramble!”
Her innocence, and childishness, was so sugary sweet. A delicacy he pushed away constantly, for no reason besides the fact that their relationship was an arrangement. The smile that stretched over his lips upon opening the gift, and reading over the note when she was asleep. He didn’t realize it, but he was beyond obsessed, infatuated with this angel he’d been blessed with. In her sleep, he pressed one tender kiss to her forehead, and watched over her gentle form with sheer adoration. It was the best Christmas a man like him could’ve ever asked for.
May 2nd of this year…it was the page he flipped onto without mind. Her final entry, the morning before everything was meant to crumble. 
“Dear diary, today I’ve got an appointment with my doctor for a checkup. Yeosang’s busy in a meeting so he can’t drop me off, but he’s sent the driver to pick me up. Tomorrow’s our one year anniversary, and I’ve got a whole surprise planned. First: We’ll have dinner at the beachside restaurant and then we’ll go on a walk across the sand till sunset. Once the sun starts setting, I’ll tell him..how much he means to me. I don’t think he realizes it and I don’t know if he feels the same way, but in the year that we’ve been married, I felt my life take a 180. He’s one of the only people who deals with my antics without complaint, even though he seems annoyed..he’s still silent about it. Gosh I sound so lovesick…but he makes me feel complete. I love him so much, I know this was just an arranged marriage and yet..I can’t help but love everything about him. His pretty smile that is reserved for my silliest jokes, the birthmarks on the side of his face that I just can’t help but reach out and pet sometimes… I hope he loves me even if it’s just a little bit, I’ll be over the damn moon! The driver’s here now, I’ll update you later :)”
His fingers dragged along the penmanship, a tear staining the page. He couldn’t ruin this too, this didn’t deserve to be tainted. Streams of painful tears stained his cheeks and continued to flow, a choked out sob crawling out of his throat. Heart constricted and aching, he hugged the notebook and bawled. Nobody would come to comfort him in this loneliness, the sunshine long gone and he couldn’t even say a proper goodbye. He couldn’t tell her how much he loved her gorgeous smile that would brighten his world. Her sense of humor that would beat any comedian in her path. Everything about her made it all worthwhile.
“Yeosang?” her voice croaked, Yeosang’s hands holding onto hers for dear life. On the hospital bed, bleeding and bruised, the doctors at the bedside ready like grim reapers. “I’m here angel” a single tear trickled down her battered face, and he rushed to wipe it away. “It’s the first time you called me that” she wept, and pulled his hand close to her lips. She pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his hand, and all the strength he was mustering came so close to crashing down. He had to be strong for her, he wouldn’t want her final memories of him to be a sobbing mess.
“I love you Yeosang” the final part of his name came out in an exhausted sigh. Her hold on his hand fell limp, and the machines laughed at him with their flatlining noise. He cried out, shaking her as nurses shoved him out of the room. Their attempts were feeble, all the doctor did was place his hand on Yeosang’s shoulder. As if it could soothe him, yet nothing would. Nothing in the world would soothe him anymore, the sun was gone, the candle’s flames all burnt out.
“I love you too” he whispered into the mocking silence, with hopes that she was watching over him now. In his broken state, crumpled on the bed, with her book tight in his arms.
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