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#emotions control a lot
russetruse · 2 months
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I know I don’t post writings here often, but I wanted to write something for @lizadale’s Dimigi!au. I don’t know Libby if you dream about the Dimigi!au but sometimes I do. I blame you sis. But also I added a lot more since you read the smaller version, enjoy almost 3k words on only part one of many.
Sorry it is written in 2nd person, but I blame Libby for getting me to only function in this style of writing but I can’t seem to write in any other prospective anymore lol.
I color coded characters, but what sucks is that this one doesn’t have black so I can’t use one of my original colors for characters speak. So the color I planned for one character had to move to the heart and the hearts color was originally black >:[ But I hope you enjoy.
Calamitous Revelry
Part I
Luigi Prov
CW/TW: Trauma, abuse, triggers on abuse, mentions on drowning/strangulation
You run your fingers through his greasy, tangled hair. Every time he goes on a mission, it seems he neglects basic bodily functions. The longer he’s off on one of his Merloo missions, the more worried you become. It brings you back to the days of the Castle, how he only seemed to eat when the other members were shoving food in his face at the required meetings. Even back then, his mask didn’t hide much from you. He had long given up before joining that group. It just frustrated you so much, he puts his own well being always being last on his list.
”Can you be more gentle?” He spoke very softly, but the voice cuts through the silence. His fragile, small body, leaning against the frame of the claw foot bathtub. It knots your stomach seeing him like this. Why did he always do this? Why was being away from you for any extended amount of time so collapsing to his mental state? Were you the only thing keeping him from self-destructing?
”Sorry. You really knotted your hair this time. I am trying my best to be gentle.” You reply softly, not wanting to cause him to jump and flee. This was close to being just as bad as when you found him almost dead in the deteriorating remains of Castle Bleck. Dimentio being caked in blood and dirt. You were hardly able to handle how much came off of him then, but even this was trying to match up to that day. Right now, the bath water was darker than your tan skin. You click your tongue, a Dio habit that you had seemed to pick up sometime throughout the course of living with him. Very glad that you had rolled up your sleeves above your elbows before even starting to wash him. And the water being this dirty before you even started to actually scrub his body! You click your tongue again in annoyance and frustration.
You knew Dimentio wanted to teleport away. Especially after he walked into the house. Well walked was even an understatement. He half floated, half dragged his feet across the threshold when he opened the door to your entrance. You swore he was going to collapse there in the entrance if you hadn’t been there to grab him and hold him with your own weight.
What shocked you more was the jester actually complained as you fondled him in worry, going down your own checklist in your head as you did so. First, checking him for injuries since he did have some blood caked on his clothes, and you weren’t sure if that blood was his or another’s. Which raised even more questions that you knew he wouldn’t divulge answers to you. So giving up on even prying into the matter, you scoop him up bridal style, and rush him up the stairs. Your lips placing kisses on his scars around his left eye, making sure to not miss a spot and to distract him from what you had planned ahead.
He started struggling in your grasp as you started running warm water in the tub of the finished guest room and declothed him. The caked on clothes were a pain to get off of his dirtied skin. Through the frustration of removing the clothes piece by piece, you confirmed at least most of the blood on his clothes were not his. Which did not lighten the feeling of comfort you wanted from his return, it concerned you more. Whose blood was this and did they deserve such injuries from him? But you shake your head, another series of questions you would not get answers to. You needed to get him clean before you would even get any chance to put food in his system. Let alone would your mind allow you to put him on the back burner and cook food when you knew he needed to be cleaned up right away.
The jester complained as you worked on completely bringing him down to his birthday suit, still double checking for any injuries that may need stitches or extra care. He complained to you until you submerged him into the warm bath water, that’s when his demeanor changed. He then held onto you as if his life depended on it. As if the water in the tub would drag him below the water's surface and take his last breath. You also knew if you looked away, he would quickly teleport away. And your goal to get him cleaned up would long be abandoned.
It takes you way too long to comb out the knots and grime out of his hair, but this makes you feel a bit better. Well, until you wrap your arm around him; your forearm resting across his chest and placing your hand under his armpit. It always takes you by surprise at how tiny he is, not just in height, but in size. Your body is giant compared to him. And you were use to being called “too skinny”, but even you didn’t complain to the man you held in your arms.
You lean forward, and with your free hand, you begin to drain the dirty water in the tub. You really needed to replace it with fresh, warm water. His body tenses at the water starting to run again to refill the tub. The jesters heart was beginning to race in a panic from this. You press him tighter to you, slowly soaking your own shirt. What good did you get from rolling up your sleeves to only press a wet twink to your chest. But still, you do not let him pull away, hoping that he can feel your heartbeat through the wool top. Yet you also hope that he doesn’t feel the Chaos Heart beating as well in your chest.
”I am NOT letting you go.” You whisper softly into his right ear, your mustache tickling it. Dimentio squirms in your grasp, fighting his own instincts to flee. Every nerve he had, you knew told him to get away quickly. You bring your lips to his ear, pecking it with a soft kiss. His body squirms more at his own signals being challenged. A challenge to fight staying and be adored by you or flee due to the rising water in this situation.
”I won’t let you drown.” You speak sternly to him, not sure if it was in assurance for you or him. You start to nibble on his ear, your free hand grabbing the washcloth and rinsing it under the spout.
You can feel his fingernails dig into your arm as the water rises above his hips. You wince at this, but start to scrub the dirt and grime off of his legs and feet. You take extra time on his swollen ankles in another attempt to calm him. Letting your hand through the wash cloth slowly message his swollen ankles to make sure he didn’t do more damage to them then what appeared on the surface. You find yourself at a loss when you run the washcloth over his ribs. Your stomach turns seeing the jester's ribs through his skin so easily that you could count every one of them. It upsets you so much that he is neglecting himself when he is away from you.
”Luigi.”
You grumble, tightening your grip, mumbling under your own breath. Why was he like this? Why was he so willing to throw his life away? So many cared for him. He had more worth than he thought or believe he had.
”Luigi!”
You can feel your own anger bubbling and building in your body.
No one.
No one.
Not even yourself. Not even in the dreamscape. Not even against the chaos heart, or even in your own dreams, were you willing to throw your life away so easily. A growl builds in your throat and comes out through your own words. “Why are you like this?”
“Lui!”
Thu-Thump…
You freeze up, your body stiffens at your own thoughts. Only Dimentio was ever able to rile up so much negative emotions in you. King boo wasn’t even able to do this to you.
“Lui-“
Thu-Thump.
You feel his fingernails claw at both of your arms now. Digging deep enough to draw blood.
Thu-THUMP.
The nails dig deeper and deeper into your arms, clawing down from your elbows to your hands. With what little nails the jester had left, were tearing at your arms. You knew he feared water, but this was ridiculous at how much he was trying to get out of being cleaned by you. You tighten your grip to this, growling loudly in frustration and anger at Dimentio.
THU-THUMP!
Water splashes onto your pants, snapping you out of your own thoughts. The buzzing sound in your ears is replaced with the sound of splashing. Your eyes widen in shock as you quickly pull your hands away from his neck. Your arms and hands dripping from blood from the number he did on you.
You watch him in worry and shock as the ancient quickly yanks himself from under the water's surface. Dimentio’s body was shaking uncontrollably from fear, coughing and gasping from the need of oxygen that deprived him. You were unsure of how long you had held him under, but the water he was coughing up said enough. His lungs were trying their hardest to clear the water that you had forced into them. The ancients eyes never leave your bloody, shaking hands.
No…
No.
No! You would never do that to him.
Never!
THU-THUMP!
You can hear the heart beating loudly in your ears and chest.
”I’m sorry Dio. I-It wasn’t me,” you stutter though a shaky voice, “I promise. It was th-“
You reach your shaking hands towards him in assurance. But the second you do, the familiar sounds of the jester teleporting away before you can even finish your explanation. Your eyes now staring at a bodiless bathtub full of fresh water, with swirls of red in it.
”C-Chaos H-Heart….” You finish, your voice trailing off to a soft whisper.
THU-Thump…
You let your arms drop to your sides in disbelief. The heart had found another opening, this time by your emotions. It had taken advantage of your emotional loophole, and went after what was the biggest threat to it. The one you loved…
It wasn’t you. You would never do that to him.
Never…
Never!
The image of Dio’s scared. No, scared was an understatement. He was terrified. And when you closed your eyes, that expression from Dimentio showed on the back of your eyelids. The bathtub overflowing, starting to soak your jeans and socks.
You needed to fix this. But could you even fix it? You stand, ignoring the tub overflowing and slowly flooding the bathroom. Your soaked socks splash in the water as you walk over to the sink, ignoring your own discomfort. You pick up the phone with shaky hands. You were having such trouble dialing the number correctly on the keypad, that you changed to your call list and clicked the forth or fifth recent call down.
You lift the cell to your ear and after a few rings you hear an ecstatic voice that didn’t match the feelings you were having right now.
”Gigi! It’s been a while. What-“
”Mimi. I fucked up badly. I need Nassy’s help, now. It’s too much to explain. Please…Please tell her it’s urgent.”
”That bad? I’ll get a hold of her ASAP. Keep your door unlocked Gigi. You better be ready to explain then.” You hear the phone click to Mimi hanging up and you drag yourself out of the bathroom. Your wet socks slush against the carpet of your guest room, and you force yourself down the steps. The house sounds oddly silent, except for the sound of what you believe is still the bathtub running. You must have forgotten to turn off the water, but you don’t seem to have the energy to bring yourself back up the stairs.
You bring yourself to the couch and work on removing your drenched socks. Your hands are shaking so badly that the simple task is more of a challenge than it should be. You discard your socks on the floor near you and you pull your legs up to you on the couch, making yourself as small as your body would allow you to.
You bring your eyes to your hands. Your hands rough with calusis from all the tinkering and hard work you did, middle class work. Though it had been a while since you had seen blood oozing from them. You shake your head.
His body was so small, so fragile. He was so easy to force under the water with your hands. It was even easier to wrap your fingers around his thin throat and start squeezing. He would have been easy to break, easy to finish off. You could snap him like the twig he was. Would anyone really miss him? Didn’t he deserve to be dead? He still attempted to go after IT. He still wanted to go after his original goal with the heart. He wasn’t a fighter, he was weak in that aspect. You could so easily break him, all you would have to do is grab his neck and snap it. He deserved that.
“Enough!” You yell to no one in particular, grabbing at your own greasy hair. Heck there were times you would have never fought those thoughts after everything he had put you through, but these thoughts weren’t your own. You growl at yourself for letting the heart dig into your thoughts and emotions over Dimentio. He confused you so much and had your emotions everywhere. You had anger towards him, frustration, confusion, annoyance, but most of all…you loved him.
Thu-Thump.
You grasp your shirt above your own heart. You couldn’t imagine a day without him anymore. You wanted to spoil him with affection that he was long deprived of. You wanted to show him what the world should have long given him. You so badly wanted to let him figure out what the true meaning of his emotions towards you were. Why did this relic have to be such a problem, and everyday you were losing more and more to it. You bite your bottom lip. You couldn’t lose to it, so many would fall if you lost. It would return to where it was taken from. It would reopen the void that you had worked so hard with your friends to close. If you could rip it out yourself and stop it from what it was made to do you would, but you were already told what that outcome would be.
A loud bang on the door causes you to jump from the couch, almost hitting your head on the ceiling from surprise. Only for the silence to be followed by the door slamming open before you can even take a step towards the entrance. The voice booming louder than the door hitting the wall or knocking combined.
“Ye here lad? We rush’t here as fas’ as we coud. Dimensoon stil’ a’ problem withoot tae wee yin crossin’ tae gap fir us.”
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sersfandomthings · 11 days
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wanderer
(referenced from that one shot in the 3.3 interlude quest)
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buggachat · 1 year
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can't stop thinking about how Félix was seen as "a cold, calculating, intelligent character. yes, he made some weird decisions (how did shoving cheese under adrien's pillow fit into his plan? why did he bully adrien's friends when all he was there to do was shake gabriel's hand? etc) but, ignoring that, he definitely carefully considers all his actions" and then Emotion dropped on us "uh yeah so Félix is actually deeply emotionally unstable" which is both counter to how everyone saw him and actually perfectly explains his character in ways the fanon version of him couldn't
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rebouks · 4 days
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Wren: Robinnnnnnn, mom asked you to watch Ava for a minute. Robin: [tuts] Don’t drag her like that. Wren: Why not? She likes it. Robin: Until you drag her over a rock.
[Wren ignored Robin as she continued hauling a giggling Ava through the long grass]
Wren: Why’re you here again?
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Levi: Why not? Wren: ‘Cause this isn’t your house. Byrd: Shut up, Wren-.. you’re being a meanie! Wren: You shut up!
[Wren scowled, muttering something under her breath]
Levi: What?
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Wren: I said you’re stupid! Levi: I bet you’re stupider. Wren: Not as stupid as Byrd. Byrd: I’m not stupid! Wren: Are too! Robin: No one’s stupid.
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Robin pulled Ava safely into his lap and listened to Wren and Byrd bickering, eventually turning their attention toward Levi, accosting him as ferociously as they would anyone else; his usual walls crumbling to dust as they wrestled amongst the clover. His friends might not have understood why he wanted to hang out with Levi, but Robin could sense that there was an entirely different boy hiding beneath his prickly, well-maintained façade.
The rustling birch trees and the dappled shadows beneath created a rare safe haven for Robin’s classmate, who in the absence of anyone to impress or mislead, finally smiled and enjoyed himself with a genuineness that Robin had never seen before.
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Straightening Ava’s little bow and holding her closely, Robin couldn’t help but think how awful it must be to be part of a family that never played or laughed together, a family that didn’t particularly enjoy your presence or show you much affection-.. if any. It wasn’t hard to imagine how strenuous it’d be, constantly pretending to be someone you weren’t.
He didn’t exactly want to spend every waking moment with his parents, nor his siblings, but Robin loved each one of them dearly and struggled to picture his world without them. It wasn’t expected or necessary given how supportive Oscar and Courtney usually were, but Robin took his role as an older brother quite seriously and enjoyed lightening their load by looking out for his brother and sisters; he felt a pang of sadness for Levi as he realised that on top of his absent parents, he couldn’t even rely on his own sister as a source of comfort or approval.
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Robin wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t heard Levi in time-.. what if he’d been that bit better at blocking everything out, what if he’d been distracted, what if he was too far away or hadn’t been there at all?
He’d tried to convince his parents that he wasn’t interested in going because an elementary school disco sounded like the most boring event in existence, but they’d assumed his reluctance had been due to anxiety and cajoled him into going anyway, for a little while at least. In the end, he supposed it was a good job they had.
If something had happened to Levi that night, he would’ve struggled to forgive himself, and the thought of anything terrible befalling anyone else at the hand of his apathy or purposeful ignorance filled him with dread.
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Although it could be difficult and tiring sometimes, he probably ought to pay more attention to his surroundings rather than ignoring everything, as he’d been partial to recently-.. just in case.
It was nice to have the option these days, but maybe Robin was never meant to suppress his gift completely, maybe he’d been given it for a reason. He had no idea why, how, or where it came from, but it wasn’t just a quirky annoyance anymore, it’d literally saved someone’s life; it was clearly far too important to wilfully dismiss...
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mattodore · 4 months
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20s vs 30s
#river dipping#matthias evanoff#theodore doe#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#the older they get the more i need to [redacted] them...#matthias is already 26 so. not much changing going on in his face. his hair just starts receding a bit before he gets it under control#but theo’s in his early 20s so his cheeks definitely lose some baby fat in his late 30s#MIND YOU! matthias is really vain. so. he has a skincare routine and he's very serious abt it along w/ regular dermatologist visits#and injections/surgeries probably... so he is someone who will age very gracefully thanks to money lmao...#theo on the other hand is just blessed with beautiful skin <3 well that plus he rlly doesn't emote often... not many lines on his face#until he's in his mid-forties probably. but like fr... theo isn’t someone who puts a lot of work into his appearance like matthias does#and he uses and smokes like. his skin looking so good is just the result of a genetic lottery#i do think he quits both by the time he’s 30#but while he doesn’t go back to cigarettes… hm. he probably continues to relapse w/ drugs every few years#not with anything hard—he’s off the stuff for good i think past 28-ish#i think when he relapses he’s usually safe with matthias who helps him by focusing on harm reduction so. lighter ones.#…just got a bit emotional thinking about that but anyway#kisses for theo 🫂#i was going to post this last night before bed but decided that i wanted to actually edit them first so! here take this <3#i've gotta get ready to go get my novavax shot in a few hours but then i'm going to start editing again#seriously rlly enjoying my editing process rn... like it makes me so happy!! to finally really like the way i edit and how things look#but yeah........................ mattodore are so sexy as they age god.#i gotta redo that old family lineage post i made now that mattodore look different... and i need to redo their parents for sure#…anyway cross your fingers for me 🧎 i’m hoping my side effects aren’t too bad this time around
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months
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I'm sorry I let down my guard.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#xiao xingchen#God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish#Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it.#The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic.#And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core.#Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently-#come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt#and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people.#So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'.#The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there?#The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible#He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg)#''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.''#Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts.#ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.
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Baby Daddy AU
Ok I love the image of Miguel being the softest dad ever to Gabi’s baby sibling once they’re born. After years of yearning for Y/N, he finally got to marry her and be parents together 🥹
He’s just too in love with her
😭he’s over the fucking moon now that he has his little family together again with a new addition.
He can’t tell if the second round of new born is easier because of the experience from Gabri or if it’s all just a big thing of déjà vu cuz it’s been so long since he’s had to change a diaper or trying to get the baby to sleep through the night.
At times, it feels soooo overwhelming. The stress of a new baby, rebuilding your old relationship, plus making sure you still Gabi attention and Miguel having to work a bit longer hours because he insisted that you quit your job and stay home till your fully recovered from pregnancy (and whenever you were mentally ready to start working again) , it can all pile on top of each other and he can’t help but think back about how the stress had strained the relationship the first time around.
But he’s determined to do things differently this time around, he had almost lost you forever to another man and he refuses to ever let you walk away from him again. You’re more then just his baby mommy now. You were his wife.
His wife.
He could say those words over and over and he’ll never get tired of it.
And when he thinks your asleep when it’s his turn to get the baby, you can’t help but sneak a peek of him holding your baby like it’s the most important thing in the world, so small in his large hands, the way his tired eyes and smile lived down so lovingly. It made your heart jump to your throat.
“I can’t believe how lucky I am.” You’d think as you looked over at him, before shutting your eyes so he didn’t see you awake. Knowing he wanted you to get as much sleep until the next time the baby woke.
“I can’t believe how lucky I am.” He’d think as he rocked his child in his arms, looking over at the angel in his bed he was able to call his wife. Mumbling spanish lullabies till his baby was lulled to sleep.
(My harmonies are all over the place I’m crying as I typed this idk why I keep getting carried away with these)
(Also idk if the baby is gonna be a boy or girl)
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One thing I'd like the Knuckles show to address is when he developed his electric chaos powers, as it's implied Sonic only started to show his when he caused the power outage
I'd love that too! And it's a good opportunity to talk about my headcanons/theories regarding chaos powers.
Sonic was born with rare powers, which manifested in the form of speed. It isn't until that night at the baseball field that Sonic unlocks his electric state, which initially can only be activated by strong emotions. By the sequel it seems Sonic can turn it on and off easily.
By this logic, we can assume the same for Knuckles: he was born way stronger than the average echidna but at some point had his full chaos powers awakened through strong emotion. Maybe it was during one of his many adventures. Or maybe it happened when he was hit by the realization that his tribe was never coming back.
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impish-ivy · 5 months
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Thinking back on it, it’s so obvious Solomon isn’t as emotionally intelligent as I additionally thought he was. Which knowing his childhood and background…yeah that makes a whole heck of a lot of sense.
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lendmyboyfriendahand · 2 months
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More in the AU where Elrond and Elros are 16 years old rather than 6 when Sirion is sacked. Tag is "older kidnap fam fic" for previous installments
Elrond wakes up draped over the rump of a horse.
Not, to be clear, his own warhorse. His faithful stallion is being ridden by one of the few remaining warriors of the Gap, the great cavalry of the Noldor, who will be able to keep her seat regardless of what the horse tries.
Elrond isn't initially sure who is riding the horse that he's been set over like a sack of baggage. His arms are stretched out past his head, tied wrists dangling toward the ground, and his ankles are tied as well, tighter than the hobble that he had while walking. He can't see anything but horse flank.
Elrond wriggles around to try and get a better view, and someone notices.
"Lord Maedhros, it seems your guest is awake."
Maedhros pushes down the middle of Elrond's lower back to pin him more surely to the horse. "Lie still. If you fall off while riding in formation you're liable to get stepped on by the next horse, even if the rider wished to avoid you."
"I know how to ride properly."
"Yes, I saw that you were quite skilled when you killed my soldiers, which is why you're staying right there."
"Could I at least sit upright, even if I have to ride behind someone else like an infant?"
"Maybe tomorrow, if you give your word not to escape."
"I'm not stupid enough to try and bargain with you again, after you broke your word about setting us free from the cellar."
"I never said I'd set you free, I said I'd leave the city and wouldn't kill you. Sirion crumbled in the first assault, but I did no more damage after taking you and your brother into custody. If they're smart enough to repair the castle first, everyone should be able to keep warm this winter."
"And if they focus instead on burying their dead, or rebuilding their houses, or rescuing their kidnapped princes?"
"Who knows? But I'm not king of even the Noldor anymore, and the people of Sirion are not my responsibility."
"You would just let them die?" Elrond wanted to glare at the Feanorian, and nearly slipped backwards off the horse as he tried to sit up.
Maedhros caught Elrond deftly by the bound wrists and pulled him back into place. "Next time you do that, I'll let you fall"
"So you don't actually intend to even spare my life."
"I agreed to spare you, not to save you . None here will harm you, but I won't rescue you from consequences of childish stupidity, no more than I will rescue Sirion from winter. If you would rather bash your head open rather than remain my captive, I am not so cruel as to deny you that escape."
Elrond had nothing to say to that topic, as his first retort about more palatable escapes seemed likely just to enrage his captor, as did any question about cutting off hands. "Where's Elros? Was he at least left back in Sirion?" Elrond wanted his brother to be safe, and his people to have a leader with his mother drowned. But he, selfishly, also did to want to be alone with the kinslayers.
"He's here as well, don't worry. Nornmalo has him, and I trust him not to torture a prisoner, despite what it may sound like."
"The moans of pain might be a headache, he drank rather a lot of beer while we were trapped."
Maedhros laughed. "Well, a hungover child soldier. He will at least bother Nornmalo less with questions."
"Could I give him something to soothe the headache? I know a bit of healing."
"No. A headache won't kill him, and he'll get water when we stop same as you."
They stopped only once that day, to water the horses at a stream. Elros was pulled down from the saddle - feet first, luckily, though he still landed in a heap - and his hands untied. Maedhros tossed him a canteen, and said "if you need to piss, now's the best time. You won't get piss all over the horse or your clothes, and we're downstream of the rest of the company."
"My legs are still tied."
"The ropes low enough you should be able to unfasten your belt."
"Are you going to watch me the whole time?"
"Until I find another guard, yes."
Elrond drinks little enough water to avoid the issue, for the moment.
When it's time to ride again, Elrond puts up a fight about having his arms tied again. That just gets Maedhros pinning his face in the dirt while a soldier ties the rope.
Elrond is slung back on the horse like a parcel.
They stop again just before sunset to make camp.
Elrond's hands are untied again for dinner.
The food is simple, waybread and water, and Elrond wonders if he should mention that Men need to eat more than once a day.
Far more exciting than the food though is the figure dropped on the grass next to him, clutching his own canteen and waybread.
"Elros!"
"Elrond! By Ulmo, you're alright!"
"I am, just a bit bruised from the horse. You?"
"Here's something for your healer's notes: do not put people with hangovers upside down for hours. I must have thrown up a dozen times."
"That's terrible! Maybe we can ask-"
At that point the guard tells them to hurry up, they'll be taken to where they're sleeping in ten minutes regardless of how much dinner they've had. Elrond and Elros focus on eating.
They are not, apparently, going to be sleeping near each other. "Too much chance to plot."
The Feanorian soldiers have tents. Some of them share, some of them have their own. A few soldiers have tents obviously designed for two or three that they go into alone.
The horses stolen from Sirion are tied to a picket line. It's loped through the reins, but one person untying the end would let all the horses scatter.
The horses the Feanorians rode into town on are not tied at all. They are loyal old warhorses, and will not flee from orcs in the distance. If wolves do sneak past the guards into the camp, better for the horses to run, and come back at their masters' call when the danger is passed.
Elrond, by contrast, is tied to a tree trunk. His hands are tied in front of him rather than behind, and his legs are unbound. Maedhros's brother - and Elrond learned from a careless remark that their is only the one left - even tossed a blanket over Elrond's legs, to guard against the chill of the night air.
It is the most freedom of movement Elrond has had all day, but that's saying little.
He is stuck sitting up, feeling every root and rock underneath him, unable to reach his hands back to where the rope is tied behind the tree.
Elrond sleeps poorly, stirring at every noise, whether it's a guard on their rounds or an owl hooting its warning.
In the morning, Elrond is given a breakfast of water and waybread again.
Maedhros says "You know it would be suicidal to flee, alone in the wilderness, yes?" and lets Elrond ride behind him sitting up.
Elrond's hands are still bound, and a rope leads passed Maedhros to the saddle horn. If he fell off, he better hope he can keep pace with a cantering horse, or else be dragged on the ground.
Elrond stays on the horse. He figures out his balance well enough to turn, and sees Elros riding similarly.
Thing continue like this for over a week, until they reach Amon Ereb.
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arvoze · 6 months
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cooking up something devious
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bonefall · 6 months
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I can't see how the writers still think Skystar's a good person. Like, twelve year old me liked him and thought he was interesting, but I was like twelve. And even I knew he was an irredeemable asshole after Moth Flight's Vision. If a twelve year old can figure this stuff out I have no idea what these grown ass writers were doing.
DOTC has a thesis, stated in The First Battle, that really explains everything.
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"Fear and Greed" is just a fake-deep way to reinvent a Good and Evil dichotomy. Because Clear Sky's abuse comes from a place of fear, it means it's not malicious, unlike a "greedy" cat.
He can be "soothed," ergo, he's a fundamentally good person.
Post-First Battle, the books are focusing constantly on his feelings, how sad it makes him to not be trusted, how happy he is when people are on his side. All while he continues to screech at people who tell him what to do, manipulate and mistreat his son, and even still beats and mauls those who offend him.
But because it's "fear," that doesn't matter. That's a justification, an excuse. The writers don't seem to believe in good and bad actions as much as they do good and bad people. True 'evil' comes from a person who hurts others for the wrong reasons, like 'revenge' or malice.
It's abuse apologia. Plain and simple.
The truth is that abusers don't think of themselves as evil people, and everyone, even you and me, is capable of being toxic or abusive. Talk to those who have been abused and we'll tell you; we often stayed because we "saw the good," or even felt responsible for them. Abuse can be passed down through generations because the kids come to believe the way they were treated was normal and okay.
If you go through life thinking that abuse only comes from evil/greedy people, you won't see it when it happens right in front of you. Fundamental good and evil is childish. Abuse comes from fear all the time.
Abuse is about power and control. Fear of rejection, of losing someone, of pain, those are all very common motivators as the abuser tries to stop them from happening before they even begin. It doesn't MATTER that your abuser is in pain too, you NEVER "deserved" what they did in an attempt to break your legs so you wouldn't run.
But... we can all change. Even the worst of us. It's never too late to stop hurting others, move on to a better life, but some people never will. Skystar loves his power, and he keeps that power no matter how many times he misuses it.
He has no reason to change as long as his cruelty rewards him with status and authority.
But the writers are incapable of recognizing that, because for this entire arc, they were stuck in an absurd view of the world in terms of Fear and Greed. Abuse can be excused if he did it for the "right reason," and that makes him "fundamentally different" from the truly evil villains, Slash and One Eye.
Hopefully, it now makes more sense to you.
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sinnbaddie · 2 years
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People love to say Jason is “Dick with anger issues” like Dick isn’t literally “Dick with anger issues” himself
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commsroom · 3 months
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Hi, you’ve probably already addressed this at some point and I’ve simply missed it, but what’s your thoughts on Hera’s ending? (Particularly, how Pryce just removes the ‘I can’t do this, I’m not good enough’ line, and she stops glitching?) Personally it always felt rather… bad, honestly, given the whole “they could’ve made me better, they made me me” thing, if that makes sense?
hi! first: that absolutely makes sense, and i'm also very sensitive to anything that seems to "fix" disability or trauma, so i understand where you're coming from. that was not personally my takeaway about hera in the finale; i'll try to explain why:
pryce didn't remove that loop from hera's head. i don't think she could have - even if it's technically possible for her to do (and she is capable of a lot more than maxwell), she just had her mind wiped and wouldn't have access to that information, and even if she did retain it on an instinctual level, that would require allowing pryce access to the most vulnerable parts of hera's mind. and she would never allow that. there's a reason pryce is still a prisoner.
hera speaks to pryce not for reconciliation, but for reclamation. she's lived her whole life in fear of what pryce (and people like pryce) can do to her, with every aspect of who she is and what she does controlled and dictated by anyone with power over her. the finale opens with pryce telling her life's story from her perspective - at once self-mythologizing and self-victimizing - and, the final time we ever hear from or about pryce, hera is about to tell her own story. we never find out what was actually said, or how pryce reacted, because it doesn't matter. hera gets to take control of her own narrative. hera gets to confront her abuser, and feel in control and safe from harm.
it's worth keeping in mind that hera doesn't glitch consistently. that's one of the things i think also makes it a useful comparison to chronic illness. when, why, and how much hera glitches was an intentionally crafted part of the sound design. it happens more often, and more intensely, when she's stressed out, overwhelmed, or upset.
and, with that in mind... the ending leaves the characters on a generally positive note, because it's the end of the show and that's the feeling it wants to leave you with: that everything will be more or less okay, in the end. but it isn't the end of their lives. once they get back to earth, a lot of things are going to be very difficult for hera. even in the final scene, she says she's not ready to go back, but "when has that ever stopped us before?" when she's able to honestly say she's good, i don't think that means she's good forever. just, in that moment, that's a crucial step in her healing process, and i hope in the future she'll have a lot more moments that feel like that one.
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lover-of-mine · 4 months
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just had an ‘oh shiiiiit’ moment bc what if it isn’t chris who gets hurt playing basketball but actually eddie? looking at the script again from a different perspective, instead of maddie reassuring buck it could be maddie misunderstanding what happened
“it was an accident, [_] knows you didn’t do it on purpose”
‘buck doesn’t say anything’
“evan. you didn’t do it on purpose did you?”
to me that could read like maddie realising like “wait, DID he??” especially bc he says nothing after she first ‘reassures’ him, kinda gives off guilty vibes
maybe buck and eddie argue and buck lashes out and eddie gets hurt? not seriously obviously, just like pushed over and sprains his wrist or something and that’s why buck ‘hasn’t really talked to him’
🤯
Dude, I've been thinking about this but I haven't felt like actually saying anything because people can be mean lol, so I'm so with you on this. He could have very much hurt Eddie. Even more with the tendency this show has of putting buddie in situations in places we will never see again (the fountain, the equine therapy place, the graveyard) so a basketball court could absolutely fit that pattern, and like, things are rocky between them, is very easy to give that impression considering where they are on the season finale, and you take freshly broken up with Buck (if the Natalia is not coming back thing is true) and you create some sort of tension between the two, to have Buck react and do something dumb, and accidentally hurt Eddie, makes sense. Like push him too hard on a play, or throw a ball he would trip on, something that's an accident but could not be if Buck analyzes it enough. And it's really easy to get hurt on a basketball court, I played for like, 7 years, and dude, the dumb ways I hurt myself are ridiculous lol, so like, it could be Eddie and Buck is scared of his reaction. Chris is the easiest to assume, and easiest to hurt, a ball to his crutches and he sprains his ankle or something, but Eddie himself is very much still a possibility. And Eddie dismissing Buck if he tried to help makes more sense than Buck leaving a hurt Chris behind. Unless the situation involves the 3 of them and Eddie is gonna go full overprotective dad because initially it seems worse than it is, let's say there's a moment they think Chris actually broke a bone or something, that lashing out is a reaction we've seen from Eddie before, fear is a powerful things, so even if Eddie doesn't react towards him because he's worring about Chris, Buck assuming Eddie is mad at him could be based on some logic. Also Eddie getting hurt and just saying I'm fine, I'm gonna go home and ice it, and Buck absolutely spiraling that Eddie hates him now is super on brand for Buck.
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lvstharmony · 7 months
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​beyond grateful for the people that are surrounding me in my life, just as i am grateful for the people i’ve parted ways with, for without them, i would not be the person i am today.
#i have left so many people throughout my life#and#if someone would ask me if i’d regret any choice i’ve made i would say no#i regret hurting people yet i wouldn’t change a thing if i could#without the suffering the sacrifices and the lessons i would not be the person i am today that i can finally say i’m proud of#whenever i read the question “would you want to be your friend if you’d meet yourself?” deep down my answer was no#i was a good friend and i always tried my best to be there for everyone#but i was so blinded and overwhelmed by my pain that i tried so hard not to project on others that it was exactly the thing i’ve done#i was extremely caring sensitive loving and selfless but my ”bad“ traits were just as extreme#my emotions were so overwhelming that they were scattered all over the place that it didn’t allow me to have any control over them#i used to be so terrified of being alone. all i’ve felt was a great loneliness that was residing within me#until i’ve gathered the strength to leave an entire friendgroup with people that meant the world for me#they weren’t good for me anymore just as i wasn’t for them#since that day i’ve grown a lot i became a better and healthier version of myself#i learned how to be alone and to find the peace in it and in myself#all i’ve had was Allah swt. and He is all i will ever need.#without the hardships in terms of friendship i wouldn’t have been able to learn how to be alone and love and enjoy it#without it i could not say that i could easily give up the people in my life#i could if i had to bc i have Allah swt.#but i’ve learned how to choose and to choose the right people#i don’t need you and never will but i choose you bc i want you in my life and i think that makes it so much more special#i can finally say that i love the person i am today and can’t wait to see myself grow even more as the cycle of growing is never ending#I still have so much to learn and I will let it come to me with open arms#an open mind and an open heart#above all the most precious gift i’ve earned is to learn how to have tawakkul.#everything that happens every trial that is afflicted upon us has meaning#and it’s beautiful.#being able to pick out the khair in everything is the biggest blessing#alhamdulillah for the things that bruised my soul alhamdulillah for the things that mended it#alhamdulillah for everything bc truly; Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.
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