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#dramatic breakup with your ex as a bonus
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creators: here is a charismatic character who, due to certain circumstances, becomes an anti-hero and a very influential person in the criminal world, whose actions are explained in the context of the general setting, who calmly gets his hands in blood, but at the same time you can understand why he became like that and in general is not without tragedy
me: sounds great, but it’s still not a fact that I’ll love him, any more arguments?
creators: he is a loving father
me: fuck, I'll take it
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I love your writing.
if it's not too much trouble may i make a request? I'm thinking the Dimitrescu women meeting and/or courting a fellow immortal.
the circumstances of the immortal's powers and possession of immorality are entirely up to you. I just like the idea of them meeting someone they could literally spend forever with...because they deserve it ❤
I wasn't sure if you wanted a story or headcanons? I went with HCs, here, but if you wanted more of a drabble or whatever just lemme know and I'll write something like that.
Also, I got excited and carried away so this has the whole Dimitrescu family, plus shorter ones for both Mother Miranda and Donna. Admittedly Alcina's is also a little on the shorter side? I tried to write everything that came to mind, but I am kinda tired right now, sorry. Might reblog this and add some more later.
(Under read-more for length)
Cassandra:
Tries (and fails) to hide her excitement. Mortality is one of the bigger things that has made her keep her distance to others, at least in the past. Every Maiden she’s ever been the slightest bit smitten with, up until this point, has been incredibly fragile. Seeing as she’s not exactly the softest person, one can easily imagine why that would be a turn off for her. But now that’s no longer a problem!
On the other had… having an immortal partner gives Cassandra pause. Why? Because what if they breakup? Normally, she can just, ahem, “dispose” of any exes (regardless of how much it hurts) so she doesn’t have to see them/deal with them anymore. If that’s not an option, she’ll definitely take longer than usual to do anything about her feelings. She wants to be sure, 100%, before she gets in over her head. Chances are she won’t hold back for as long as she wants though.
Likely to have a loud, messy confession. She’ll have been avoiding you for a few days, always ducking out of whatever rooms you enter, leaving you both hurt and confused. After enlisting the help of her sisters, you’ll be able to corner her outside. She’ll tell you, under no uncertain circumstances, to leave her alone. But you’ll refuse, demanding an explanation.
“I thought we had something. I thought you cared,” you’ll snap, eyes watering. “If that’s changed… if I was wrong, just tell me. I’ll leave and I’ll never come back.” Cue thunder and raining (because tropes) and Cassandra dramatically pulling you into a kiss, holding you so tightly you think you might bruise. Then she’s demanding that you stay, refusing to apologize but making it clear just how much she does care.
Being immortal, you’re not as defenseless as some of Cassandra’s past interests. Naturally, she doesn’t get quite as protective as she normally would. She’ll still have your back no matter what, ready to fight by your side against any foe, and will probably consider doing so a “fun bonding activity”. Oh, some lycans are encroaching on Dimitrescu territory? Time to go destroy them, as a power couple!
Despite having all the time in the world, Cassandra won’t change much of her actual courting behavior, nor the rate at which things advance. She’s still gonna get handsy fairly early on, still gonna “rah!” at you in the hallways, and still going to struggle with her jealousy.
Immortality Compatibility: I can see Cassandra going for another vampire (or vampire adjacent) creature, or someone demonic. She likes her lovers a bit rough, with some nice bite to their personalities. If you’ve got sharp teeth, or claws, or glowing eyes? Oh boy, she’s gonna be making heart eyes at you all the time.
Bela:
If your immortality isn’t immediately obvious, Bela is over the moon with joy when she finds out. Her eyes will go wide for a moment, before she tries to seem calm (so as to not freak you out), but her heart is pounding. This is what she’s been hoping for. As much as Mother Miranda has done for her family, there’s no guarantee that she’d be willing to give more. Even if Miranda granted Bela’s lover her “gift”, there was no telling what the results would be, or if the lover would survive. Now that there’s no need for such a transformation, it’s far easier for Bela to imagine herself in love (and eventually be in love).
Slow-burn romance over a decade or longer, oops. Doesn’t even necessarily mean to take things so slowly, just doesn’t feel a need to rush things, preferring that they develop organically. With both of you having unlimited time, you’re both used to working on a very large timescale. Maidens watching the two of you probably place bets on how long it’ll take you to hold hands for the first time. Everyone knows it’s coming, but no matter how much Cassandra and Daniela complain, Bela refuses to jump into things. By the time the two of you are officially together, you’re probably madly in love with each other.
More protective than Cassandra, if only because she knows just how rare you are. Immortal or not, you likely still have a weakness, and Bela will do everything in her power to make sure no one else knows what it is. If applicable, she will also ensure she has a countermeasure readily available. For example: If you were weak to fire, she’d make sure that the castle keeps extinguishers handy, just in case. Though they should probably already do that. Not that the Dimitrescu family cares much for OSHA compliance.
Somehow grows more in love with you with every passing year, and makes sure that you know this. Whether you’ve been together for one year or one century (because in this house we ignore canon), she’s always performing little acts of love, giving constant reminders of how strongly she feels. Gifts, special dates, book recommendations, etc.
Immortality Compatibility: Bela seems like the type to go for someone with a calming presence, and perhaps somewhat of a contrast to herself. I can picture her with someone somewhat angelic, or druidic, someone very in tune with nature. She’d love to feed deer with you and relax in the forest! Or lay against a tree by your side, listening to you talk about various microorganisms for hours at a time.
Daniela:
Practically tackles you when she finds out/connects the dots. This is just like one of her romance novels, where a lonely (attractive as fuck) immortal spends years in isolation before finally meeting the love of their life, who they get to spend the rest of eternity with. Absolutely ecstatic about the whole situation. Won’t stop kissing you and pulling you close, rambling about how great it’s gonna be to spend your lives together. Honestly? Kind of overwhelming. You might have to remind her a few times that you don’t have to rush into things, considering you have all the time in the world.
Introduces you to people as her “super cool/rad immortal life partner”. Genuinely cannot bring herself to not brag about you. If her sisters haven’t found someone like you yet, you can bet that Daniela will tease them about it all the time (much to their annoyance). If Momma Alcina doesn’t, though? Dani will keep her thoughts to herself, thank you very much (being grounded at her age does not impress the s/o).
Tries not to show it, but she’s actually very nervous. You’re immortal! You’ve probably seen a lot of shit (she certainly has)! Worries about keeping you interested in her, though she would never admit it. This tends to lead to her performing ridiculous acts to showcase her affection, regardless of the cost or, like, whether or not you’d even enjoy whatever she has planned. In order to counter her anxiety, you’ll want to reassure her whenever you can, and give her plenty of “I love you”s.
Strikes a decent balance between Cassandra’s nonchalant attitude and Bela’s protectiveness. Will defend you if you need it, playing up the romantic aspect, but also entirely willing to hide behind you in a scary situation.
Immortality Compatibility: Having probably read Twilight… Dani would date a werewolf, as long as they weren’t the smelly kind. Also interested in a sort of “magical”/elemental type, especially if their powers are influenced by emotions. In other words, if someone flirts with her in front of you, and your response is to subconsciously light your hands/the other person on fire? She thinks that’s hot, pun intended.
Alcina:
“Oh? Interesting,” she’d say, smiling softly (and trying to ignore the heat rushing to her face). Similarly to Cassandra, she’d try to play it off, not wanting to seem too excited. And, well, she’s not as excited as any of her daughters are. After all, she’s had more time than them to “get used” to the idea of outliving any potential romantic interests. So, she’s not exactly desperate for a relationship, even with someone she could spend an eternity with.
That being said, if she is romantically interested in them, she’s very relieved. Outliving a loved one can be incredibly traumatizing (fuck you c*pcom, you know what you did), and knowing that you’re safe (or at least safer than most) brings her no small amount of comfort.
Also, just glad to have another person close to her age around. Her daughters are somewhat stuck as young adults, and I imagine Alcina would want someone who gained immortality a little later in life, such as herself, as opposed to, ya know, reminding her of her children. That probably goes without saying. Hopefully.
More so than her daughters, Alcina would change her level of protectiveness depending on her s/o’s power level. If you’re a shapeshifter who can also turn into a big ass dragon? Then she’s not going to coddle you. If you’re immortal but still vulnerable, then she’s going to do her best to keep you safe, even going so far as to enlist the assistance of her daughters. “If you see a single Maiden growing mistletoe, or bringing some in from the village, let me know immediately,” or something like that, depending on your weakness.
Immortality Compatibility: Definitely would want someone in a situation similar to herself, having once been truly human, only to be “elevated” by something. Bonus points if you’re another disciple of Miranda, double bonus points if Miranda specifically “made” you to be Alcina’s boo/honey/darling/dear.
Bonus! Mother Miranda:
Oh god finally someone who won’t leave her (can’t leave her). No one can take you away from her, and that’s a relief that she’s been craving for over a century. Even if romance isn’t high on her priority list, she welcomes it with open arms, glad to have someone by her side through all of life’s chaos.
Admittedly slow to trust at first, probably just using you as a tool at first. But prove yourself enough, show that your devotion is more than just misdirected self-interest, and she’ll start to warm up to you. Forming a real relationship would likely take a couple decades, similar to with Bela. Once you are together, however, the two of you are inseparable in all matters.
You’d be her #1 follower, most trusted adviser, and the only person allowed to understand 100% of her thoughts and motives. While Miranda wouldn’t allow you to be seen as the same level as her (sorry), you’d still be a legend among the villagers. To them, you’re Mother Miranda’s champion, the epitome of a devoted follower that they all aspire to emulate. Not that they know the two of you are a couple, though.
Immortality Compatibility: No gimmicks, no cheap tricks, she wants (and respects) a fellow scientist, someone who clawed their way through adversity and forged themselves into something indestructible. Double the interest if you did so for a similar cause to her own, as she would appreciate your ability to relate to her suffering.
Bonus! Donna:
Someone to play with! FOREVER! No more losing people she cares about, no more accidentally breaking people, no more people scrambling to leave. Now that she has you, she can finally spend some quality time with another (living?) person. Honestly her dolls (or at least Angie) are just as excited as she is. Regardless of her relations with the other three Lords, Donna much prefers the company of a lover.
For real though she’s shy as hell and you might not even realize who’s pulling the strings until you’ve been in her house for over a year. She’d probably use her powers to trap you inside, at least at first, though they’d be nice hallucinations. You’d have to treat the dolls nicely, especially Angie, before she’d let you interact with her.
Eventually you’d be allowed to leave, and you’d be given a key to return whenever you wanted to. Assuming that you do, in fact, come back, the two of you would have a very, very slow romance, if only because of Donna’s anxiety. Hand holding makes both of your faces turn beet red, seriously.
Immortality Compatibility: *chanting* GHOST GIRLFRIEND GHOST GIRLFRIEND POLTERGEIST PARTNER POLTERGEIST PARTNER WOOHOO! Something with a flexible, only-sometimes-tangible form, who absolutely could have left at any time but didn’t because they wanted to stay.
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shuahoonie · 3 years
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out of love [tom holland]
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PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader 
SUMMARY: being close friends with your ex is fine, right? even if your love for them was unparalleled among others. even if you were still in the process of moving on from them. even if you know they’re happy with someone else. even if you have no clue whether they loved you like you loved them. 
WARNINGS: foul language, so much angst, it starts ok at first then goes downhill from there. i literally write things on the go so i don’t know if this will have fluff at some point 
(if it does and i didn’t state it here, send me a cute photo of tom and a message of: ok wow she pulled thru 🤪; and if it doesn’t have fluff, send me a meme and a message of: miss girl i simply cannot today ✋😃)  
WORD COUNT: 5.6k 
A/N: hello! tonight, we are going to be sad!!! i know i usually like to write about all things fluff, but this?? this is just for me because i am having one of those episodes. i just need to feel something again aside from the stress of writing 3 academic papers per week lmao. i’m def not expecting people to like this type of vibe but yannoe. i apologize in advance. 
this is inspired by that one episode from new girl (season 6 x ep 16)
gif credits: @thollandgifs​ 
vanessa’s masterlist | taglist form | part two - pandemonium ​​
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“You know, you can still live with us right?” Your friend Maia commented as she placed the box, labelled “fine china that mom gave me but will i ever use them?”, on the kitchen island. 
“I know,” You murmured dropping the heavy case of pots and pans on the floor. “But maybe living alone will be good for me.” You replied, forcing a smile. “Besides, I don’t want to int—“
“Hey, Y/N, where do you want this?” Harrison asked as he held out a box that’s labelled with “books that my grandpa passed on. HANDLE WITH CARE!” 
“Oh, just set it down on the living room—“ before you could even finish, Harrison dropped the box on the floor as if it was nothing. “Harrison!” You hissed, as you quickly rushed to check on the box. 
“Y/N, babe, they’re just books. Surely they can withstand any amount of pressure, yeah?” Haz tried to reassure you. 
“Haz, those books are from my grandpa—which I’m sure he got from his grandpa.” You sighed. “They’re really old and fragile, so I just want them to be in a well enough condition to stand in my bookcase.” 
“‘m sorry,” He murmured, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just, why do you have to move out?” Harrison asked, frustrated at the whole thing. 
“Like I told Maia, maybe having my own place will be good for me.” You replied calmly, as you neatly put the box filled with your grandpa’s books in the corner room—the initial place where you want to build your bookcase. “It’s been a while since I’ve lived on my own.” 
“Yeah,” Harrison acknowledged “But there’s absolutely no reason for you to move out. You can’t possibly leave me with her!” He pointed at Maia who let out an audible gasp. Harrison was being dramatic of course.  
“Haz—“ You were trying to fight off a laugh. “You two are my constants and if I became dependant on having you two at my convenience, it’s going to be a huge problem.” 
“In my opinion, I don’t see it as a problem.” Maia pointed out childishly. You shook your head in disbelief. You had to move out because you miss having a place to yourself— a place where you can be at your complete worst and you don’t have to think about your friends worrying about you. 
Besides, moving out means you don’t have to see Tom that often and that was a bonus in your book. It wasn’t a sour breakup per se, it’s just really difficult to feel happy for your ex when he practically showcases how different he is now with his girlfriend. 
You prided yourself as a mature and well-rounded person who could be complete friends with her ex as if that’s normal. You could only keep the façade for so long. 
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Four months. It’s been four months since you and Tom broke up. You lived with Maia soon after the breakup and that enough was a blessing. Maia couldn’t bear to handle the fact that you would be alone at a time like this. Harrison usually crashes at Maia’s so he was bound to move in with you two. In fact, he was always there more often than you. 
That was the point where you were convinced that Harrison liked Maia and that Maia liked Harrison.
Conveniently, you and Tom never ‘officially’ moved in together so you could avoid him freely at all costs.
Of course, that was eventually going to end soon. You and Tom were in the same friend group so you were bound to see each other, much to your dismay. You couldn’t exactly make Harrison and Maia pick friends because it’s not fair for anyone. 
You were all friends before you and Tom decided to date. Maybe that’s why people say to never date a friend—especially if they’re near and dear. 
You were coming back from work when you found people in the living room, and as if the universe really wanted to test you, it was the least likely people you’d expect to see. 
“Y/N!” Maia’s voice was pure panic. “I didn’t know you’d be home this early.” 
Your eyes quickly flickered between the two people standing across you before you diverted your attention to Maia. “Uh—yeah. There wasn’t really much to do in the office so I came home early.” 
Maia turned to Harrison who was equally lost on how to handle the situation. I mean, who wouldn’t?! What were you supposed to do when your friend drops in unannounced with their new girlfriend and to makes the matters worse, your other friend—whom your friend dated before— decides to come home early? 
You didn’t know how what kind of spirit took over your body that prompted you to extend your hand to the girl sitting beside your ex and say: “Hello, I’m Y/N.” 
The girl looked surprised but shook your hand in return. “Nadine,” Nadine smiled slyly “I—um, I’m Tom’s girlfriend.” 
Tom looked mildly uncomfortable but you chose to ignore it. You were becoming good at that—ignoring Tom. 
You returned the smile at Nadine. You could feel the burning stares from your friends, mostly Maia. You cleared your throat and said, “I’ll just be in my room to finish the papers I need to send to my editor if you’ll excuse me.” 
Before you left completely, you gave Nadine another smile and said, “It’s nice to meet you again, Nadine.”
You don’t remember how you got to your room but that was the least of your concern. You were just undeniably overwhelmed with what just happened that you didn’t even notice that there was a knock on your door. 
When you opened the door, it was the last person you expected to see standing in your doorframe. 
“Can we talk?” Tom asked in almost a whisper. 
You gave him a half shrug and opened the door slightly wider for him. 
“We’re okay, right?” He asked, looking at you in the eye. 
At this point, you convinced yourself that you were numb. You never talked about the breakup. You never overtly said anything about what you felt. You felt empty. You convinced yourself that you were empty. 
You stared back at Tom and without missing a beat, you replied “Of course. Why shouldn’t we?” 
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“Just admit that you two will miss me,” You teased, grabbing another box from Maia. 
“Only if you admit that you’re moving out for an entirely different reason,” Maia whispered carefully as her eyes flickered towards Tom who was also helping with your move out. 
You pressed your lips together and acted like he wasn’t even there. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said, you know, like a liar. 
You weren’t a vocal person. The idea of talking about your feelings was really difficult for you so you try your best to avoid it. Actually, it’s worse than that. You’d go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation.
Obviously, it wasn’t healthy. You would always distance yourself whenever you feel emotionally exhausted, and you really meant that distance. It wasn’t bad at first—maybe a day or two was all you needed before you felt comfortable enough to be around people again. 
Then it became worse when you were in university. You were beyond unreachable. Aside from being emotionally exhausted, you were mentally drained too. You were always buried with papers and readings which was unavoidable but it took a huge toll on you. So whenever you get a chance to get a break, you completely shut off from people. 
Your friends definitely noticed it and they tried their best to help. 
Tom was among the people who definitely went out of their way to help you. He would always drop by at your dorm with food or coffee—he would literally just drop them off, most of the time. He would leave small notes that up to this day, you still kept and tucked away in a box. 
Both Maia and Harrison followed Tom’s approach. They would all alternate on who’s dropping what and when. Some days, Maia would drop off a new skincare product she’s been using or a lovely box of macarons from your favourite patisserie. 
On other days, Harrison would drop off some of his home-cooked meals or maybe a book he saw from a local bookstore—a book that reminded him of you.
Tom was very persistent though. He would sometimes wait out on the hall, just so he could see you and reassure himself (and your friends) that you were okay. 
You found it taxing at first—you would often try your best to match the energy from your friends, which only left you exhausted at the end of the day. You wanted space and you clearly weren’t getting that from Tom. You did acknowledge that he only did it out of pure concern. 
You often wondered why he did that, staying, but you didn’t ask him. You never did.
Maybe you were afraid that you’d come off as rude or that you’d seem ungrateful for dismissing someone when they’ve clearly taken the time off their day just to check on you. 
However, every time you’d open that door, it always seemed that Tom would breathe a huge sigh of relief when you lock eyes. Even if it was just for a quick second. You wondered about that too.
Tom wasn’t really being intrusive. Most of the time, he will leave a few minutes after you’d open the door to get the things your friends would drop off. You’d always ask him if he wants to stay inside for a bit, but he’d always decline.
Except for that one time, though. That one time that you knew you were going to fall in love.
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It was the week of midterms and deadlines. You were knee-deep with papers from different classes that demanded to be finished that week, one of which was a research paper that practically tied you to your laptop and made you consume an unhealthy amount of caffeine. 
It wasn’t until 2 am when you were about to go on a quick drive to a McDonald’s but saw Tom dozed off in the hallway, his back pressed against the wall.
“Tom,” You shook him gently, trying not to startle him. “Tom, wake up.”
His eyes slowly fluttered open, seemingly disoriented at first but would soon fall into the warm familiarity that your face always brings. 
“Why are you sleeping in the hall?” You asked quietly, careful not to make a fuss. The walls in your dorm were very thin and you learned that the hard way. You’d think they’d put a disclaimer about that in the lease when you’re housing a bunch of university students with raging sex drives. 
It took Tom a minute to fully comprehend the question, seeing that the bright fluorescent light was being harsh on him and that he’s generally like that when being jolted awake. 
“Oh, erm, I—” Tom was finding the right words to use. He can’t exactly exclaim ‘I’ve been worried sick about you!’ out of nowhere. Instead he said, “I was waiting for you to open the door, just to see if you’re alright.” 
“All night?”
Tom scratched the back of his neck. “It seemed that way, yeah.” He muttered sheepishly. 
You were dumbfounded. Surely this was the first time someone actually fell asleep outside your door, waiting for you to come out. It was sweet but highly unnecessary. 
“I was just about to head out and get some McDonald’s, do you wanna come with?” You asked, giving him a hand to hoist himself up. 
“I should get going—“ 
“Have you eaten yet?” You asked cutting him off, taking Tom by surprise. He shook his head no. “Then you should really come.” You said, jingling your car keys in front of him.
Tom was debating whether or not to go with you. It’s been a while since you hung out, but that was the same case for everyone. None of your friends have properly hung out with you ever since the semester started. 
Tom should say yes, right? 
“Let’s go, Tommy,” You said as you grabbed his hand and dragged him across the hall. “I’ve been staring at my laptop all day and I really need some unhealthy food to balance out the concerning amount of caffeine I’ve consumed.” 
“Is that why you’re practically bouncing off the walls?” Tom asked amused, trying to keep up with your pace with your hand holding his. 
“Totally,” You grinned at him. “I need to wear out the caffeine or else, I’d have to skip my morning class again.” 
“French?” 
You nodded. “They’re counting the amount of absences in that class and I really need to keep my shit together.” 
“‘m not exactly sure why you took that as an elective,” Tom commented, properly wrapping his hand around yours with fingers interlacing each other.  
You tried to ignore it, you really did, but the warm feeling that settled around your stomach drove you crazy. 
“Why not? I think it’s cool to learn another language.” You nudged him playfully which he gladly returned. 
“I know and trust me, I’m in awe that you’re learning another language! erm—I guess it’s just I feel like you’re overworking yourself too much.” Tom pointed out softly, hoping he didn’t come off as rude or intrusive. 
“Eh, I don’t mind.” You replied “It’s what drives me to keep going and for me that’s more than enough. Even if it leaves me little to no sleep, even if it takes too much of my time—it’s enough reason for me to do it.” 
Tom stared at you in admiration as soon as those words slipped out your mouth and you didn’t even notice it. You were walking towards the student parking lot, consumed by the twinkling lights from the neighbouring lanes near campus. 
Maybe if you weren’t busy consuming the quiet campus grounds, you’d notice the very first time Tom fell in love with you. 
“Besides, I know a phrase in french now.”
“Hm—and what’s that, then?” 
“Je ne suis pas l’escargot” 
“L’escargot? Isn’t that—“ 
“I am not a snail,” You giggled. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?”
Tom laughed, “I supposed so.” 
Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of confrontation, you’d have an idea of when Tom knew that you were his person.
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See, the thing is— you needed to face reality sooner or later and both your friends could see right through it. 
“Honestly, Y/N, how on earth can your box of art materials be this heavy—” Tom appeared in front of the door frame, heaving as he carried the box from two flights of stairs. 
You quickly averted your gaze from Maia, who was staring at you expectantly, and cleared your throat. “You can just set them by the door, Tom. I don’t know where to put them yet.” You said as you tried your best to act normal. 
“You sure? They’re a tad heavy and I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Tom asked with furrowed brows. 
All you could do was nod. The last thing you wanted was Tom’s focused attention on you.
“If you say so,” Tom sighed in defeat “I’m going to grab more boxes—Baby, you don’t have to carry that!” Tom was quick to disappear as he urgently dashed towards his girlfriend, Nadine. 
“Oh, but I want to help, Tommy.” You heard Nadine say sweetly, assuming she was also pouting. 
You could see Maia roll her eyes, urging you to give her a nudge and a taunting look. “Maia,” you called her out, silently pleading her to stop. 
Maia settled down but she wasn’t exactly calm about it either. “I’m still not sure why she’s here.” She murmured. You and Harrison were close enough that you can hear her rambles—which was expected from her anyway. 
Maia and Nadine go way back—like toddlers and playgrounds kind of way. Though that sounds figuratively adorable in a way, Maia and Nadine never got along. 
Nadine used to date Maia’s brother, which already caused Maia a great demise. As one could expect, the relationship didn’t end well. She left him out of nowhere, saying she needs to find herself—or something along those lines. 
A week after the breakup, what Nadine found was herself in the arms of another man. Of course, Maia’s brother was devastated—He truly loved Nadine. Maia had to be the pillar that her brother leaned on. It took Maia a great amount of time to help her brother pick up the pieces that Nadine left. 
So yeah—Maia wasn’t thrilled when she heard that Tom was Nadine’s new boyfriend. 
“She offered to help, Mai,” You whispered “Who am I to deny help?” 
Maia looked at you as if you managed to empty your head while you were moving in between flats. “She’s been after me ever since we were kids. She’s also the reason why it took my brother months to get out of bed,” Maia deadpanned “and She’s Tom’s new girlfriend. Remember Tom? Your ex?” She said rather loudly.
You gave her a tiny pinch on her arm, causing her to yelp. “Maia, are you nuts?!”
Harrison left the two of you so he could grab more boxes, while you and Maia bickered silently amongst each other. 
“You are thicker than I thought—Seriously, Y/N. Quit pinching me!” Maia aggressively rubbed her arm. 
“They’re going to hear you!” You hissed. “The last thing I want is for those two to get involved.” 
“Babe, they’re already involved. Tom, especially.” Maia remarked. “I see the way you look at Tom. I also see the pain you feel whenever he’s with she who must not be named.” 
“I’m not doing this Maia,” you mumbled as you walked past her. Your objective was now to help Harrison with the remaining boxes. Your objective was anything but to talk about you and Tom. 
“You have to face it sooner or later, Y/N.” Maia called out “I’m not leaving you or this apartment until you tell me what really happened.” 
“What’s going on?” Harrison asked as he entered the apartment, carrying three sets of boxes. You grabbed one from him and actively avoided his question. 
Before Maia could reply, Tom and Nadine appeared on the doorframe, with Nadine practically glued to Tom. 
“Harrison got the last remaining boxes so we’re heading off now,” Tom announced as Nadine’s face painted with clear desperation to get out of your place. “Are we still going bowling tonight?” Tom asked before Nadine whispered something in Tom’s ear and left.
“I’m actually exhausted so I’ll pass,” You answered, obviously avoiding spending time with your ex and his current girlfriend. You’re not that pathetic. 
“Same might actually have to just drink the night away,” Maia responded with a grin.
“Well, there’s no way I’m third-wheeling so I’m good,” Harrison said as he threw himself towards the plush teal couch that you snagged from a flea market. 
For the tiniest second, Tom seemed disappointed but gave a tight-lipped smile. “Oh, maybe we can reschedule our bowling night, then?” He asked. “It’s not as fun to go bowling with just the two people.” 
You, Harrison, and Maia all shared a look. You weren’t on board with bowling-night, to begin with, but you didn’t want Tom to feel as if you were avoiding him—which you were but no one needs to know that. 
Maia looked at you, waiting for an answer because god knows she will solely depend on her decision based on yours. You don’t even have an answer, to begin with. 
“What are you two supposed to do then?” Harrison asked Tom. Thank god for Harrison.
“I might take Nadine to this poetry jam event that she’s been dying to go to” Tom replied with a soft voice. 
“A poetry night?” Maia almost wanted to laugh “You don’t even have the slightest interest in literature, Tom.” Maia didn’t mean to offend him or maybe she did? She wasn’t completely fond of Tom ever since you and Tom broke up—well, she wasn’t fond of the idea that Tom was dating her ‘arch nemesis’, but Tom was her friend and so were you. 
“I know that, Mai.” Tom rolled his eyes “but Nadine likes it and I’ll do everything to make her happy.” That left a bitter taste in your mouth. 
“If you say so,” Maia murmured before she took a quick look at you. She looked like she wants to give you the biggest hug. But you held a stoic look on your face—something that you picked up because you were afraid of confrontation. 
“I’m serious,” Tom defended, lost in his feelings, which only irked Maia even more. 
“I know, I heard you— we heard you,” Maia replied, her face showing only one emotion: annoyed. “God, read the room,” Maia grumbled to herself. Harrison had to reach for her hand, urging her to calm down. 
“I really love her,” Tom whispered. That left a slap in the face. 
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It was a cold Saturday afternoon and it has been raining almost all day. It was one of the rare weekends that you weren’t really occupied to do anything other than to lay on your couch and consume a copious amount of entertainment.
Despite the spitting rain, you actually want to head out this time. Being confined to your desk and the university was torture especially since you couldn’t do anything about it—the four of you were graduating this year, no one could afford to slack off. 
You and Tom were cuddled against the sofa— Tom was busy watching something on TV while you were busy scrolling on your phone. 
“Hey, Tom?” 
“Yes, my sweet girl?” 
“Do you want to go downtown?” You asked, looking at your phone as you read the details of an event happening this weekend.
“Right now?”
“Mhm,” you hummed. “There’s a book fair being held at the local theatre.” You rested your chin on top of his chest and gave him a pout. You were getting sick of being cooped up between your study table and the library. This book fair was a change of scenery and it’s definitely right up your alley.
“But it’s raining, darling” Tom tried to say in the softest way possible. It’s not exactly up in Tom’s interests though.
“I know,” You sighed “I guess I’m just getting sick of this place.”
“You’re getting sick of me?” Tom asked with a huge pout. He was kidding of course. 
“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of you, Tom.” You chuckled softly. 
“Okay,” He hummed, pulling you closer to him—if that was even possible. “Then can we stay like this for a while?” 
“Anything for you, angel.” You whispered as you closed the details about the local book fair. Maybe next time. 
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Soon after Tom left, Maia pulled you to her side and asked, “You okay, babe?” 
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You feigned innocence. It was clear as day that you weren’t okay, your friends knew that. 
Knowing that you weren’t going to budge, Maia walked towards the kitchen and brought out a bottle of wine from the fridge. 
Harrison raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “When did you manage to put that in the fridge?” All of you had been occupied with grabbing boxes that there was no way that Maia had the time to put wine in the fridge, let alone obtain them from somewhere.
“It was supposed to be a celebratory drink for Y/N’s new place,” Maia replied as she set the wine and three various mugs on the coffee table. “Obviously, that’s not happening now.” Drinking wine using the oddly designed mugs you collected over the years was a cry for help. 
“It’s 4 pm, Mai.” You pointed out as you stared at the white LED clock that you bought off Amazon—another impulse purchase enabled from scrolling on Pinterest for way too long. “We haven’t even had lunch yet.” 
“Oh please,” Maia snorted “If there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s drinking with little to no food consumption.” 
“And if there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s cancelling all of my plans for the entire day because I have to tend your hungover-self, Mai,” Harrison remarked as he grabbed the bottle and placed it back on the fridge. “I’m ordering food and no one’s drinking until everyone has finished a meal.” 
You heard Maia mutter a string of curses but most especially the part that she said, “This is not the version of daddy that I envisioned Harrison to be.” 
All of a sudden Maia’s idea of binge drinking doesn’t seem like a bad idea, you thought. 
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Turns out Harrison had no intention of letting any of you drink. He was pretty adamant about not having to babysit two drunk messes in one night. 
“As if babysitting one isn’t enough,” You recalled Harrison say. He was obviously pertaining to Maia, in which she just huffed the entire time. You often wondered if Maia and Harrison noticed the obvious tension between them, because personally you found it endearing. It was no question that they were meant for each other. 
“Y/N, you still haven’t told us whatever happened between you and Tom.” Maia suddenly pointed out. You, Maia, and Harrison were still in the living room, silently watching TV. 
You were actively avoiding this conversation for the longest time as you haven’t told anyone about it, and based by the curious faces of your friends, you figured that Tom didn’t tell anyone about it either. You’re still not sure whether that’s a relief or not.  
“There’s nothing to talk about.” You mumbled. It’s not like you were lying, there really was barely anything to talk about. Heck—You and Tom never got to talk about it properly either. 
“We see the way you look at him, Y/N.” Harrison replied softly. “I think there is something.” 
“Look—” Maia sat up properly “I know you’re not really vocal about your feelings, but the fact that you’ve never talked nor showed any emotion about your breakup terrifies me, babe.” Maia’s tone was laced with concern. 
“I remember the day you told us about it too,” Harrison couldn’t hide his concern too “We were having brunch together at our usual diner and half-way through our meal, you promptly said “We broke up” when Maia asked where Tom was,” Harrison recalled it like it was a fever dream. He and Maia had already expected that you weren’t going to tell them about the breakup when it just happened. However, it baffles them that it’s been over a year since you and Tom broke up, and not one word has been said about it. 
It was silent for a while, except for Criminal Minds that was playing on the TV. You blankly stared at the screen, hoping that you’d catch whatever the agents were saying. It was impossible, especially when all your mind could focus on was the recollection of the day Tom knocked on your door at 1 am to breakup.  
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You were relatively busy that day from volunteer work, so you haven’t seen any of your friends the entire day—or Tom for that matter. Actually, you haven’t seen Tom in a few days. He would send texts periodically throughout the day but they were always short and most of the time, you always forget to reply. 
You figured Tom was busy with his own thing and both of you established early on in your relationship that texting—or lack thereof— shouldn’t account to your relationship, especially since both of you are equally bad at it. 
You didn’t think any of it since you were bound to see your boyfriend and your friends tomorrow for brunch anyway. He will have your undivided attention by then. 
So imagine your surprise when you heard a soft knock from your door at 1 am, only to find Tom in disarray. His eyes were bloodshot red, tears falling down his face. His messy curls were masked under the hood from his jumper. 
At first you were in panic, you thought that something terrible had happened to any of your friends—his family even. 
But as soon as Tom dropped to his knees and whispered, “I’m sorry,” you had a clear idea what was bound to happen next. 
It’s been silent for a while. The door was still open and Tom sat out in the hall with his back leaning against your wall. You did the same thing except you were on the other side of the wall that Tom was leaning on. 
You two were close enough to the door frame that you could hear each other, actually facing each other was a whole other thing. Tears kept streaming down your face as you kept your eyes closed and rested your head against the wall. 
At some point in your relationship, you prepared yourself in case this happened— that you would accept whatever happens between you and Tom. You didn’t exactly anticipate that it would happen so soon. 
“Was there someone else?” You asked quietly. It was the first time you spoke after Tom dropped to his knees. You hoped there wasn’t. In fact, you silently begged to yourself that there wasn’t someone else, because you knew that you couldn’t handle that. 
“No, no—of course not.” Tom immediately answers.”I could never do that to you.” 
It was silent again. You were starting to feel numb—you tried your best to gather your thoughts and forced words out of your mouth, but you couldn’t. 
“Are we not worth fighting anymore?” You practically whispered. It was a gamble— you weren’t exactly sure if Tom had heard it and you don’t have enough strength to ask it again. 
“Y/N,” Tom sniffled. “You can’t say that.” He placed his hand on top of yours. You had your hand resting on the floor and you didn’t exactly notice that it served as an invitation for Tom hold it again. 
You love Tom with all your heart. He kept dismissing it but Tom made you a better person. He made you feel like love can be expressed through different forms of things—not just words.
You loved him by exclusively making time for him. You went on museum dates where he would make cheesy remarks, saying that you’re the most remarkable piece of art in the entire place. You went on dates to watch football games—you never understood it but Tom was happy, so you were happy.
You loved him through your touch. You would often massage his back because he had been tirelessly working himself to the core. He didn’t ask for it but you knew it would make him feel better. Your touch didn’t have to be intimate—though you expressed it through that way too
You loved him through mindless actions. Almost every time you would stop by at the local cafe to grab yourself some coffee, you would always recite Tom’s favourite order on autopilot. 
You loved him through silence. Study dates were gems for you. Even if you didn’t talk for the entirety of it and even if you were the only one who studied for the most part and Tom was just playing on his phone, having Tom beside you was enough.
You loved him so much that it pains you to think that maybe you weren’t enough for him. 
“I don’t think I can fight for someone who doesn’t even want to,” You muttered bitterly. “Just answer the question, Tom.” 
He didn’t answer. All you could hear were the silent sobs that you two were trying to hold back. At this point, you knew you wouldn’t look at Tom. Your heart wouldn’t take it—it will crush you. 
“Are you not happy anymore?” Your voice cracked as you broke into a sob.
“Y/N—“ Tom squeezed your hand even more. You’re going to miss it, but you had to let go. 
“Tom, if I’m standing in the way of your happiness then we should end this.” You cleared your throat and pulled your hand away. There’s a ghostly feeling that still lingered from Tom’s touch. 
“Please, Y/N, let me explain—“ 
“It’s okay, Tom.” You whispered. “I understand.” 
“You know I love you, Y/N.” 
“I love you too, Tom.” 
“But—“ 
“But maybe it’s best if we end it, I know. I got it.” You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down from crying. “Maybe it’s better if we stayed as friends.” Maybe it’s better to realize that whatever you and Tom had were too good to be true—that your love will never compare to the love he deserves. 
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“Do you want the truth?” You asked your friends, with tears forming in your eyes. You can’t even decipher how they looked at you because of the tears clouding your vision. 
Were they looking at you in pity? Empathy? Sadness? 
“The truth is—I’m mad.” You gritted the words through your teeth. This was the first time your friends had seen you like this. All of the pent-up sadness, aggression, and hurt you felt was starting to get the best of you. 
“I’m angry. I’m hurt.” You snarled, furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I’m angry at the fact that I can’t seem to be genuinely happy for Tom. I’m hurt at the idea he seems to be a better boyfriend for Nadine, that he constantly makes an effort for her.”
“I don’t even know if he even loved me the way that I loved him,” Your voice became quiet “and it’s selfish for me to think that way because I never fought for it—for us. That’s enough reason to keep me up at night.” 
That’s enough reason for you to wonder if you’ll be capable of loving someone so deeply again. 
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PERMANENT TAGLIST: 
@quaksonhehe @dark-infernal-instruments @trustfundparker @emsma11 @tomshufflepuff @spider-babe @goodgirlgonetom @tabi-toast​ 
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old-childhood-drama · 3 years
Text
Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas Masterpost (Toe/Jaylor)
Before dating (May 2008)
We start with the Taylor lookalike
In May 2008 the Jonas Brothers are filming their music video for Burnin’ Up [x]. Joe’s love interest in it is played by a blonde girl who looks quite a bit (and she’s also styled) like Taylor Swift, for reference, this is the music video that has Selena Gomez as Nick Jonas’ love interest.
As far as we know they hadn’t even met so we don’t know exactly what this was supposed to mean, maybe Joe had a crush on Taylor or maybe it’s a coincidence.
We do know that Nick and Selena were dating when this was filmed and that by the time the MV was released (July 4th, 2008) Joe and Taylor were officially dating.
Toe is alive! (July 2008 – September 2008)
On Tour
Fans claim to have seen Taylor around the tour in early July, which matches with Taylor’s lyrics in "Last Kiss".
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Last Kiss. Taylor Swift.
I do recall now the smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane
That July 9th, the beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt
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On July 14th, Taylor and The Jonas Brothers perform “Should’ve Said No”[x] from her debut album, and this performance now forever exists in their 3D movie (a classic), a cute fact is that some fans have said that Taylor tripped when she first came out, so they had to repeat it for the movie.
On July 20th Joe flies to Wyoming to watch Taylor opening up for Rascal Flatts, and they flew back and she was spotted at the Omaha show.
She’s seen in a couple shows more and she joins the stage again for their Madison Square Garden shows in August [x]. They sing “Even now just looking at you feels wrong”.
They’re together but they’re not together.
For more context, we must remember that Taylor was a very new artist from a small label and The Jonas were pretty much at their peak and Disney’s biggest act, and they were managed like crazy and could never even think about being seen with someone in a romantic way. Any rumors were denied so fast, and Disney did the absolute most to keep it secret. So according to everyone they were just good friends, at the time both Taylor and Selena were annoyed by all the secrecy.
Now back to the timeline:
Taylor is backstage of the tour A LOT for the next couple of weeks right next to the other not-girlfriends Selena and Danielle.
She films a cameo for the “Love Is on Its Way” [x] video for the concert in New York. She was said to be only interested in hanging out with Joe and they were seen hugging *gasp* I know it doesn’t seem like much now but back then this was the hottest gossip and again the Jonas were not supposed to breathe near any human of the opposite gender.
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Taylor and the Jonas were staying at the same hotel a bunch of rumors ensued, but I will not talk about the whole Olympics and Toe locking themselves in a room at midnight thing. If it’s real, we really needed to touch some grass and stop staying outside of people's rooms all night.
On August 17th Joe goes to Ryan Seacrest's show and denied that Taylor is his girlfriend in the best way a corporation like Disney can train you to deny something that’s true. Saying Taylor is “a great girl and I think anybody would be lucky to date her. I think anybody would love to go on a date with her.”
And Taylor tells People Magazine “He’s an amazing guy and anybody would be lucky to be dating him” Cinematic parallels.
Taylor is spotted in the back (in a mirror) of one of the Jonas youtube videos [x]. Basically, we all knew they were together.
The Central Park date (August 28th)
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Now if you were a fan of either the Jonas Brothers, Selena, or Taylor you know this next part and it the iconic triple date of Central Park.
Again, this is kind of famous at this point and Selena has been quoted saying how awful it was because the boys were not allowed to be seen with them so they all went to Central Park (Selena’s first time in Central Park) and Taylor and Selena walked about 20 feet of distance from the guys so nobody would think they were together but we all already knew because it wasn’t like they were that good at hiding it and there are pictures of them together that night (the clownery of it all).
These backstage tour adventures are the reason Taylor and Selena are friends today and in Selena’s own words the best thing to come out of those relationships.
VMAs (September 2008)
With how many pictures of them together that night [x] [x] [x] exist you would think they had gone together as a couple but no just two besties! The 2008 VMAs are so the show where Russell Brand mocks the Jonas Brothers and their purity rings and Taylor publicly defends them.
Toe seems happy for the rest of September but as we know now the end is near.
The Break-Up (October 2008)
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Social Media was different back then and Taylor did what every teen girl with a broken heart did in 2008 and she went to myspace with an edited post to make a statement about the Toe current situation.
Post-Breakup
The 27 seconds Joe Jonas will regret for the rest of his life.
Taylor went on Ellen and I don’t even think I need to say much this interview is THAT iconic she sat on that couch and told the world exactly how Joe had broken her heart in the following two quotes:
“There’s one that’s about that guy, but…that guy’s not in my life anymore unfortunately. That guy…that’s an ouch.”
“I’m not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18…it was like 27 seconds, that’s got to be a record.” [x]
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She also went on Ryan Seacrest’s and when asked about the perfect guy she saw an opportunity and took it, saying “I used to always say sense of humor, but I think that it’s important to have the same kind of sense of humor. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor and if somebody doesn’t think that my sense of humor is funny, then that’s not something that is good. Um, so sometimes you know, that can be a wrong match. If they’re not allowed to go in public with me, that’s sort of an issue too.” [x]
Bonus the amazing youtube video Taylor posted with Joe’s Camp Rock doll and how he comes with his own phone to break up with other dolls [x]. Taylor eventually went full out and cited Camilla Belle (then girlfriend of Joe) as the reason for the breakup. And you know someone at Disney’s PR office wanted to die when this was going down.
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So finally, Joe was forced to acknowledge the whole situation with a Myspace post:
"I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful, but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me. For those who have expressed concern over the "27 second” phone call. I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk. “
Forever & Always
Now this song is known as THE Toe song and it was born out of the end of the relationship when she felt Joe was getting distant, but she couldn’t do anything to help it, it was made really late into the production of Fearless so she had to rush to finish it in time (so no other breakup songs are about Joe in the original album).
Forever & Always Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide Like a scared little boy I looked into your eyes Thought I knew you for a minute, now I’m not so sure
In the 2009 Grammy's Taylor and Miley (insert The Ex-Girlfriends Club Theory here) performed Fifteen (obviously not about Joe) and the Jonas were in the audience. I believe this is probably around the time Taylor writes Mr. Perfectly Fine and You All Over Me, which we know get to have thanks to Fearless (Taylor’s Version) 13 years later.
You All Over Me
The best and worst day of June
Was the one that I met you
With your hands in your pockets
And your 'don't you wish you had me' grin
But I did, so I smiled, and I melted like a child
Now every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then
Mr. Perfectly Fine
'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl
I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her
And I never got past what you put me through
But it's wonderful to see that it never phased you
In November of 2009, she also goes to SNL and mocks Joe in her monologue. "You might think I'd bring up Joe That guy who broke up with me on the phone But I'm not gonna mention him *rolls eyes* In my monologue [Spoken:]Hey Joe, I'm doing real well, tonight I'm hosting SNL [Sings:]But I'm not gonna brag about that In my monologue [x]"
To make things even more dramatic and very awkward The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and Taylor Swift spent NYE together watching the ball drop on TV and this was probably not how they wanted to start their years. [x] [x] [x] and a video [x]
Now let’s discussed some of the songs that came out at the time. The Jonas response to Forever & Always was Much Better. Nick described it as a song that was very personal to Joe and Joe went on to say that it was based on his very interesting year. They also at some point wanted to pretend the song was about their love for their fans but come on. Joe also changed the lyrics from ‘superstar’ to ‘country star’ and later changed it to ‘movie stars’ when he broke up with Camilla who is the ‘Much Better’ girl from the song.
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Much Better - Jonas Brothers
I get a rep for breakin’ hearts
Now I’m done with superstars
And all the tears on her guitar
I’m not bitter
But now I see
Everything I’d ever need
Is the girl in front of me
She’s much better
Taylor’s iconic response in Better Than Revenge seems to be more of an attack on Camilla. She’s spoken about her regret for this song since then and hasn’t played it in years and Camilla seems to be ok we never forgiving her for it [x] [x]. Regardless this song remains a staple of the genre ‘Feminism OFF, Bops ON’.
“I was 18 when I wrote [“Better Than Revenge.”] That’s the age you are when you think someone can actually take your boyfriend. Then you grow up and realize no one can take someone from you if they don’t want to leave”. - Taylor 2014.
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Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift
Let's hear the applause (Come on, come on)
Come on, show me how much better you are
(So much better, yeah?)
See you deserve some applause
'Cause you're so much better
She also released "Last Kiss" about the nicer part of their relationship, and some believe other songs such as If This Was a Movie, Haunted (Speak Now) and Jump Then Fall (Fearless) are about Joe. From the Jonas, the other song believed to be about Taylor is Paranoid (Lines, Vines and Trying Times).
Jump Then Fall
Well, I like the way your hair falls in your face
You got the keys to me
I love each freckle on your face, oh
I've never been so wrapped up, honey
Probably a song was written about and in the early days of their romance and the long hair freckles [x] thing definitely fits 2008 Joe.
If This Was a Movie
Baby, what about the ending?
Oh, I thought you'd be here by now
Thought you'd be here by now
According to some this song is a sister song to "Last Kiss" in the same album and that is confirmed to be about Joe.
Haunted
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
Won't finish what you started
This song would be a sister to Forever & Always since Taylor described both to be about a relationship that was fading in the end and that she was confused as to how they got there in the first place.
"‘Haunted’ is about the moment that you realize the person you’re in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don’t know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it’s fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you’re realizing that he’s kind of falling out of love. That’s a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through because the whole time you’re trying to tell yourself it’s not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night writing this song about it.” Taylor
Friendlier days are coming (2010- )
I guess time can heal a lot of wounds and Toe is seen hugging and on friendly terms at the Clive Davis party on January 31st of 2010 [x].
The world was so shocked when we realized that Joe went to see her perform in a couple of her shows in September 2011 [x] [x], and in here Holy Ground is born about her new evaluation of their former relationship rather than the bitterness of the breakup. The lyrics' secret message is “when you came to the show in SD” and the potential parallel to "Last Kiss".
Holy Ground - Taylor Swift
We blocked the noise with the sound of ‘I need you’
And for the first time I had something to lose
And I guess we fell apart in the usual way
And the story’s got dust on every page
But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now
And I see your face in every crowd…
… Tonight, I'm gonna dance
For all that we've been through
But I don't wanna dance
If I'm not dancing with you
Last Kiss - Taylor Swift
I do remember the swing of your step
The life of the party, you’re showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then
You pull me in
I’m not much for dancing
But for you I did
They're seen talking in the MTV's EMA's 2012 [x].
From here they seem to be friendly and in May of 2015 after the Billboards. They even go on a double date later that year with Gigi Hadid, Calvin Harris, and Karlie Kloss (this picture feels so cursed). Nick and Joe get invited to Taylor’s 4th of July party and they seem somewhat distant after his split from Gigi.
Present (2020- )
In 2020, we got the amazing surprise of folklore with the song ‘Invisible String’ that makes a reference to Taylor’s past songs about exes being harsh and how she sent Joe and his wife Sophie Turner a present for their baby girl’s birth. In 2021, she has now released the re-recordings of Fearless and we are all reliving the drama and enjoying the chaos of Taylor’s and Sophie’s friendship not letting Joe know peace for those 27 seconds over a decade ago.
Invisible String
Cold was the steel of my axe to grind
For the boys who broke my heart
Now I send their babies presents
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zanniscaramouche · 3 years
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ZANNI - WIP LIST
hello ♡ @haztobegood inquired about what fics I have in store. I decided to show what I hope to deliver through the rest of the year with all of you! It’s possible they won’t all be written, or the premise may change, or that the lengths may be dramatically different (I’m pretty bad at guessing those) but this is my hopeful plan for the rest of 2021! You can also always see my updated WIP list on the left side of my blog ❅
June
A Tear in the Sky Liourry | ABO Fic Fest | ~30k Everything was a lie. (Release Date: June 17th!) 
PWP  Larry | Pain Kink | ~5k Harry gives Louis a tattoo. There are certain... reactions.
July
Cool Bus Larry / Ziall | High School Crush | ~10k Punk Louis has a soft spot for the pretty pastel boy with the curls. Not that anyone is ever, ever going to find out. (Zayn finds out) 
PWP Larry | Pain Kink | ~5k Louis pierces Harry’s tits. There are surprising results. (we are not surprised)
August
Called Your Name OT4 | Immortals/Elementals AU | ~50k Five elements are tethered into the form of mortals. The withdrawal of one irrevocably unbalances the others, causing their union to be destroyed in the chaos. As years pass, the unrest of the universe grows until it can no longer be ignored. The remaining four elements are forced to reunite and seek harmony, a task nearly impossible with decades of hurt buried between them. 
Ride or Die, Sweetheart Larry | Street Racing / Exes to Lovers | ~20k Harry bleeds diesel. He exhales red desert dirt and sweats motor oil. After twenty-six years he’s discovered two truths of the universe: He was born to race. He will love Louis Tomlinson until the day he dies. A case could be made to say the third fact is Louis’ hate for him burns hotter than an engine in the sun. 
September
Whole Lotta History Multi | 1D Cliche Fic Fest | ~20k Niall gets more than he bargained for when he supports a friend at a Speed Dating event. Featuring four lads with intricately entwined romance histories... and futures?
Who Hung the Moon Larry | Time Travel / Exes to Lovers | ~30k After the second worst day of his life, Harry is sent back in time to the first most horrible-terrible-no-good-very-bad week of his existence. The week Louis Tomlinson shattered his future and broke his heart. 
October
If I Could Fly Larry | BHFF / Spiderlouis | ~20k Louis is busy coming to terms with being a superhero, but that doesn’t mean all the other drama that comes with being a teenager is suddenly put on hold. How long can he spin lies until he’s caught in his own web?
Fright Fest Fic Larry | Magical Realism | ~30k Louis Tomlinson is being haunted by his own ghost. It’s all he can do to ignore it and attempt to live life to the fullest, and how better to do that than to fall in love with the charismatic Harry? Unfortunately the more he learns, the more it becomes apparent his death is a result of their ill-fated love affair. How will he decide between life and the heart his beats for?
November
Action/Thriller ABO Fic Larry | ABO | ~50k A smuggler gets more than he bargains for when agreeing to transport the newest drug on the black-market.
BLFF Fic Larry | Author AU | ~20k While co-writing a novel, two author’s agree to test out what’s physically possible for their characters. Through compromising situations and slow building trust, Harry’s feelings start to evolve. But can anything happen when Louis’ still struggling to work through his most-recent breakup?
December
We Could Call it Even (Even Though I'm Leavin') Larry | Advent Christmas Fic / Enemies to Lovers | ~10k You could call me babe for the weekend. (’Tis the damn season inspired)
Bonus Slot!  There are a few things rolling around for this fic slot, but we’ll see how the rest plays out before I make promises! 
What are you most excited for? Please tell me ♡
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hqwritings · 4 years
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Kuroo, Bokuto, and Tsukkishima Hearing Their Roomate Dump Their Boyfriend
@venuslii requested: Kuroo, Bokuto and Tsukishima walking in on their roommate laughing on their phone and it turns out she broke up with her boyfriend and he posted about him being heartbroken and she says “that’s what you get you stupid b****” lmao headcanons or scenarios idrc
A/N: Eyy, thanks for requesting! I got a little stumped on some parts (*cough*Tsukki*cough*) but I hope you enjoy these! Requests are currently opened, no rules yet other than a maximum of only three characters please!
Kuroo Tetsurou:
-We all know this man loves his juicy gossip (re:when he immediately knew about Mikashou’s breakup) so when he heard you cackling in your room he knew he had to get you to spill the tea. It’s part of why you two get along so well and can stand living with each other: you two are nosey bitches that thrive off of spilling annoying/funny stories about the people in your life. He also gives killer advice that seems to always work for you, so that’s a bonus too.
-Since you two don’t really care about privacy near each other you left your door open and he takes the opportunity to dramatically poke his head in and pose at the doorway like the sexy bastard he is. “What’s so funny Y/N it’s not often that you keep secrets from me~”
-Needless to say he was a little baffled to see you cackling to the straight up breakdown your boyfriend was having over the phone. Kuroo feels an evil little grin coming onto his face. He never liked your boyfriend anyway. He was a bitch that was too easily angered and didn’t know how to keep his cool. Then again he never liked Kuroo either, always thinking he was gonna steal his girl (which Kuroo never bothered correcting him on because it was so fucking funny to him)
-He’s grinning at you and asks “Oh? What’d the bitch do now?” He’s leering over your shoulder as you show him your ex’s Snapchat, filled with sad Bart Simpson memes and edits with slowed rap music playing in the background. You even get him to read the terrible captions that say shit like “When the person who you thought was the one becomes a stranger again 😭😔” you’re laughing so hard at it you can’t even say anything
-Kuroo busts out the LOUDEST and most OBNOXIOUS hyena laugh ever and he’s grabbing your phone and going through all the other posts he’s missed so far and you’re just on your bed rolling in your sheets DYING and clutching your stomach because it’s hurting so bad
-“So you finally dumped him eh?? Good for you Y/N!” He shouts between laughs and then directs his attention to your crying ex, mocking him by saying “I have some sad Plankton memes if you need them! Unblock me first and I’ll send them to you! HAHAHA-“
Your ex hates him so fucking much and keeps trying to say something back but he keeps stumbling over his words and it just makes the two of you laugh even harder
-When you manage to get your laughter under control you lightly kick Kuroo (who’s now sitting on your bed) as a signal for him to give back your phone. When he hands it back to you, you go back to the call with your ex and shout “SEE THAT?! WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?! THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH!” With that final blow to his ego you’re satisfied, and hang up on him
-When Kuroo hears that click signaling the end of the call, he raises his hand for a high five and you give it to him. He’s sitting straight up now and immediately tackled you in a hug. You two kind of just lay there, and even though it’s mildly uncomfortable, he knows you need it. It’s warm, soft, and safe, showing you that he was always gonna be there for you no matter what
-“Good job Y/N, that guy was a major dickwad. He wasn’t nearly as hot as me anyway. Probably had a tiny dick too” “Trust me, he did” “Holy shit-“
-He rolls off of you from the hug but is still laying down next to you on your bed while holding your hand. You vent to him about how good and free you finally feel now that your ex is officially out of your life. During your conversation you two make a note to burn all the clothes your ex left in your room at your next house party/bonfire.
Bokuto Kotarou:
-He’s either A)chilling on the couch B)chilling on the couch talking to Akashi/Kuroo/Tsukki or C)chilling on the couch and playing video games. You two don’t have any particular system set up, because you two don’t care. What matters is that you’re bro’s and you both do your part to make (barely) make rent every month.
-You and Bokuto share plenty of funny stories to each other but he’s used to you just sitting in your room doing your own thing talking to whoever, but when he hears you literally CACKLING like a freaking maniac, he can’t stop himself from pausing whatever he’s doing and going to your room to make sure you’re still alive
-He gives a light knock on your door before realizing it’s unlocked and just coming in and he’s really surprised to see you doubled over on your floor laughing like there’s no tomorrow as he can hear your boyfriend on speaker phone, making the ugliest sobbing noises he’s ever heard
-“Whatcha doing Y/N? I can hear ya all the way from the living room, what’s up with you?” He asks, both curious and slightly concerned for you. You quickly get up, ignoring your (now ex-) boyfriend and pulling up his public Snapchat story that also has sad Bart Simpson memes and long ass sad emo paragraphs about how heart broken he is (it’s a little impressive how quickly he wrote it up though, given how you broke up w him like five minutes ago)
-“Bo, look at this shit- haHA I just dumped him!” Bokuto knows how much of a piece of shit your ex is, since you’ve spent so many nights crying to him about your fights and the hurtful things he’d say to you so he eagerly eats up the absolute bulls hit on his story and laugh with you while listening to his sobbing
-Your ex is fuming whilst crying over the phone “REALLY Y/N?! YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR ROOMMATE IN ON THIS?! I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME WITH HIM YOU SLU-“ but you were having none of it so you immediately shoot back “OH SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH” Bokuto is absolutely DYING by now, hyping you up as you shut your ex down
-He’s so happy to see that you know your worth now and aren’t going to let some dumbass boy make you think otherwise. So many times he’s wanted to just clock him in the jaw (he radiated really douchey vibes) but now he doesn’t have to (unless you want him to of course)
-Your ex angrily hangs up and you two are having a fit on the floor, Bokuto laying over your body as you read out the songs on the emo playlist he just posted. You even move to twitter to see him tweeting sad Pinterest quotes
-When the laughter dies down and he’s still laying over you and you’re just on the floor he turns over to look at you. “You know, I’m happy you broke up with that douche-face. He was ugly anyway, and a shit volleyball player. You deserve better” He lovingly pats your head “I’m proud of you Y/N, really” You almost want to cry at how sweet he’s being but you just smile and get up, walking to the doorway and turning to look at him
-“Thanks Bo, I appreciate that. All that laughing makes me tired though. Wanna order takeout and watch a movie? I’ll let you pick” He happily gets up from your floor and gives you a big high five and you two walk out of the room to go order your food. Your ex, completely pushed out of your mind.
Tsukkishima Kei:
-Doesn’t usually care about gossip (except for that one King of the Court thing w Kageyama) so your conversations don’t really go into “tea” abt people. You two are pretty close at this point and you both are hella nerds so your conversations will probably be about stuff like your sports/activities and maybe the occasional debate over which Jurassic Park Movie was the best (He will always go with the first one, he has a whole PowerPoint and everything). Otherwise you two don’t talk too too much, keeping to yourselves and being relatively peaceful.
-When he hears your loud laughter and straight howling, he’s… slightly annoyed. What could possibly so funny that you had to scream loud enough for him to be able to hear when he’s wearing headphones for fuck’s sakes. He begrudgingly takes off his headphones and makes his way to your room with the intention of telling you to stfu
-He doesn’t even bother knocking because he’s petty so when he sees you rolling over the floor AND hears your boyfriend’s loud hiccups and sobs turned on the highest volume on speaker phone he goes from annoyed to confused and annoyed.
-“Y/N you’re being so loud and it’s annoyi- what the hell are you doing” He’s not even trying to hide his mild disappointment in you and even makes a comment about your ex sobbing over the line “Why’s your annoying boyfriend crying too- he doesn’t sound like he’s laughing”
-You take a break from laughing to shout back at Tsukki “Make that Ex-Boyfriend Tsukkishima!! HAHA- come here, look at this- look-“ you’re getting up from your floor and grabbing him by the sleeve to sit him on your bed as you eagerly go through your ex’s Snapchat filled to the brim with emo poetry and paragraphs about heartbreak
-“I broke up with him 10 minutes ago and he’s still crying-“ Tsukki can’t help but laugh at this as he’s reading the absolute bullshit that your ex typed out. He can always tell when he’s going to be annoyed by someone and the moment your boyfriend stepped into your place, he knew that he would never get along with him. He avoided him like the plague and always denied the invite when you would go out together but would occasionally hear your fights through the walls or your crying when he came home late (in those moments he’s actually really nice and will sit and listen to you)
-“Wow… this is absolutely pathetic, how old are you, 12? This is bullshit!” Tsukki has no chill, verbally beating down your ex and only making him cry harder and now your stomach hurts as you clutch it with your free hand. At one point your ex decides he’s had enough and from the other end of the line he shouts “SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING- YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT WHO CAN'T MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS-“ and Tsukki’s not having ANY of this so immediately goes “And you’re a sad loser who just got dumped by his girlfriend over the phone! What does that say about you?”
-You’re grinning ear to ear during this whole exchange and after Tsukki says that you bring the phone to your mouth (hoping to scream as loud as possible into your ex’s ears) and say “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH-“ and hang up.
-It doesn’t stop there though- no no no- you two crack yourselves up even further by doing dramatic readings of all the messages (with stupid impressions of your ex to boot): “Oh baby if only I could hold you in my arms one last time!” “Heart been broke so many times-“ “Nobody cares about me, even the person who I thought I could trust the most-“ “Holy shit Tsukki you sound just like him-“
-When you can’t view his story/tweets anymore because he’s blocked you, you and Tsukki finish laughing. His long legs are draped over your bed and yours are placed on his lap. At this point he doesn’t even care because it’s been a good while since he ever found something THAT funny. He isn’t really the type for softly comforting his friends but you know that he definitely has a little soft spot for you (at least a tiny one) and you just sit there and gently kick him.
-“What” he asks and you just give him a soft smile and say “Thanks”. He has his own small smile on his face (that you can totally see but don’t mention because then it’ll go away) and just looks away from you and says “You’re annoying” (which by now you know translates to “You’re welcome”)
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morievna · 5 years
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Ni-Ti loop curse - Ugetsu’s arc and predictions
I noticed that most of fandom thinks that after chapters 27-28 Ugetsu’s story is finished. It surprised me a little since I have different opinion that in fact he will definitely play role in upcoming final arc and that him getting happy ending is still possible.
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Whole Given basically
Spoilers for manga below.
1. Ugetsu compared to rest of characters
Since Ugetsu was introduced I was clearly intrigued by him, but no means I expected him grow to be my favorite character. I was rather surprised that instead of presenting him in a bad-ex trope way he got full-fleshed and nuanced. I like how he is one of mysteries of the story – at first we know that he is responsible for Akihiko views of love as painful thing and we got tidbits of theirs domestic life where they seems to be intimate but we get vibe that there is something wrong. Then we got chapter 17 and we know what went wrong and it is heartbreaking. I think it interesting choice that we simultaneously got both Akihiko and Ugetsu perspective on it and we get why it went that way. Natsuki-sensei not only spent lot of time fleshing out story from his perspective to sympathize with him and clearly puts a lot of effort in showing all emotions on his face. Compared to other supporting characters he got the most of time in manga and we get him to know relatively very well – from little information about childhood, his motivation and so on. Besides, what also distinguish him from them the most is the way he impact main storyline – he is important both to Akihiko’s as well as Mafuyu’s story, while rest orbits primarily around one character.
But what I found truly fascinating is how he is foil and contrast with rest of characters, because he is such extremum when it comes to music and relationships.
Uenoyama – he is called prodigy too; before meeting Mafuyu his life was centered only on music but it didn’t go well for him
Haruki -  totally opposite in almost everything from acting towards others, living space, views on music to relationship with Akihiko
Mafuyu – another prodigy who express feelings via music, but who wants to cultivate bonds with others
Yuki – both are dedicated to music at cost of their wellbeing and relationship
Akihiko – since he and Ugetsu are paralleled a lot with Yuuki-Mafuyu I will use Hiiragi’s quote “together, they filled in each other’s missing pieces” – in terms of character qualities and simple things as providing home and support, whose they respectively needed.
By all this I wanted to show you how his story entwines with rest of characters, so cutting him from main plot would be for me at least weird.
2. Ni-Ti loop and CAC song
To be honest I was worried that we may get negative character arc to contrast him with Mafuyu. But after rereading whole story I have more hope about this. So let’s start what is core of positive/negative character arc
“The Central Problem: This is the damaging belief your character must face to complete their arc. They may believe they’re weak or inferior to others, or they may refuse to trust anyone but themselves. This inner struggle will be confronted at the Climax and their ability to overcome it will determine if they succeed or fail in the conflict of your story.”
https://thenovelsmithy.com/positive-negative-character-arcs/
Applying it to Ugetsu he believes that being isolated from others is only way to be dedicated to music, thus pushing away others and acting inconsiderate to them.
It reminds me also of Ni-Ti loop:
“Instead of a healthy balance of introverted and extroverted functions, the INFJ becomes stuck in their introverted processes, keeping them trapped within their own mind in a seemingly endless loop of thought.
As our introverted iNtuition (Ni) ponders theories, concepts and possibilities, it feeds these ideas to our Ti which seeks facts and logic to back up and solidify these thoughts.  As it obtains this information, it feeds it back to our Ni which creates even more theories and concepts.
Each time this loop goes full circle, the thoughts become more and more radical and outlandish, pushing us further from reality and deeper into our minds.”
http://www.jennifersoldner.com/2016/02/ni-ti-loop.html
So we get Ugetsu thinking about how they chasing each other and neglecting music, then instead of talking to Akihiko about his insecurities he decided to push him away since prior to their meeting he was alone and fine this way. When declaring breakup didn’t work, he fallen further in this way of thinking and tried to discourage Akihiko by sleeping with other men. However, logic doesn’t apply well to love, so he is conflicted about his feelings constantly. So there is cycle in their relationship of pulling and pushing away resulting only in more pain and violence.
But even after Akihiko leaves him after their argument, it got even worse – he got more isolated from rest of world and depressed. His solution didn’t work at all.
During CAC we can observe that he starts to understand this. He seems to be stunned that not only Mafuyu can perform music on his level and be connected to others and Akihiko’s skill in drums got so much better thanks to Haruki’s influence.
Theoretically this could be end with him failing to change but…
CAC song is about ending and begging. It conveys that positive change is possible. I like how Mafuyu is not only referencing his experience about trauma and healing, but want to help others persons in his life and reassure them that everything will be alright. And there is this frame:
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Of course it has double meaning – Mafuyu want to resonate feelings via music like Ugetsu as well as to resonate meaning of song to him.
So concluding – with the both facts that Ugetsu does no longer believe in his previous standpoint and we have positive message of the song, we can discard option that his story ends here. But what comes next?
3. 3-act structure and what it means for the story
Quoting Wikipedia:
“The three-act structure is a model used in narrative fiction that divides a story into three parts, often called the Setup, the Confrontation and the Resolution.”
For Given as whole it would look like that (image from wikipedia, little changed by me):
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3-act structure is one of most common used in stories. I think it can be applied to Given too, because of the way stakes are gradually rising and evolution of Mafuyu’s songs (first one about his trauma and past love, second about positive change and final will be most likely about his feelings for Uenoyama – well technically second one mentions it too, but I think it will be explored more). For now I rather want to use that structure as tool to predict what can happen. Let’s look again at what Wikipedia says about final act:
“The third act features the resolution of the story and its subplots. The climax is the scene or sequence in which the main tensions of the story are brought to their most intense point and the dramatic question answered, leaving the protagonist and other characters with a new sense of who they really are.”
How to grow more tension?
For me the most interesting it would be instead of *insert some cliché drama* getting all main four character confronted with someone who foils all of them on both music and personal level. It would cause to challenge their perspectives, disrupt the routine and reevaluate their standpoints. In the end it would be resulting in character grow for all of them.
In less vague terms my theory is that Ugetsu will perform together with Given on debut in festival. To break Ni-Ti loop the best is interacting with people and outside world. To step out of comfort zone and leave basement.
I envision this scenario roughly like that:
Since it is very likely that Mafuyu will write new song (probably together with Uenoyama)
Then he would consult it with Ugetsu
Mafuyu would be concerned about the other wellbeing hence trying to help him the same way it worked for him in begging of the story 
Tensions during rehearsals – mainly due to Ugetsu being critical of their skills at music
After some time Ugetsu will start open towards rest of group and genuine wanting to help them performing at their the best – even if it would took some sacrifice from him (like resignation from violin competition or concert)
Thus resulting in final reconciliation with Akihiko (not necessary in romantic sense, more like healing each other wounds they caused before)
Climax at debut
Of course, maybe I went too far with this theory, but it would wrap up things nicely in my opinion. This was written emphasizing Ugetsu’s story, maybe I will expand it in relation to rest characters another time.
Finally I want to point out certain issues that would tie into this from recent chapter:
1.    Mafuyu’s hesitation about debut - his fear of taking music seriously is rooted in Yuuki’s death and Ugetsu’s story as well. As chapter 18 showed he want to learn from their mistakes and I think he is afraid of losing himself too much in music and breaking up with Uenoyama in result. In order to move forward he has to make peace with music in some sense like discussing his insecurities with certain some who embodies music basically XD
2.    Akihiko pursuing both violin and drums – these two instruments are so loaded with double meaning (drums – fun, escaping pain and violin – passion and lost dreams). But regardless if Akihiko has to choose one of them or not – pursing violin corresponds to confronting why he given up on violinist career earlier and by this confronting Ugetsu
Bonus:
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Doesn’t sound it like foreshadowing?
So this is all for today. I don’t remember writing this much since my thesis – I hope it is coherent and that there is not that many errors XD If there is something unclear – feel free to ask.
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lastsonlost · 5 years
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People call me crazy. 
I’m crazy that I set up Uber drivers on dates with other people (Fun Fact: in Paris, I found my Uber driver his girlfriend. They are still together) or that I take my dogs on vacation (just us of course-- no humans allowed). I’ve dated men only to tell them the date of our imminent breakup. I call it expiration dating. I highly recommend it. In my younger years, I moved to New York after watching one episode of Sex and the City. I have been known to go on holiday with perfect strangers.
In 2009, I had a nervous breakdown. Shortly after the breakdown I was diagnosed as bipolar. I got my pills and more or less, it’s been managed since.
I have no qualms about sharing that I’m bipolar. It took me seven years to get to where I am right now. I’m more accepting and I don’t feel shame for having such a condition. I know when an episode is about to hit and I also know how to manage it.
Does being bipolar make me crazy? Nope. It simply means I have a medical condition.
I make it a point to share to any man that I date that I am bipolar, right off the bat. It just seems fair that they know this about me. Yes, it’s risky as they may flee or use it later on to stigmatize me. Believe me, both have happened. I used to be very private about it so these dickheads don’t get a hall pass when they do dickhead things. Assholes can use that as leverage. In the wrong hands, assholes can really make you feel inadequate.  I’m bipolar therefore I’m unstable. So it’s my fault all the time. I’ve fallen for this trick in the past. Now I simply block them from my phone—the digital version of closing the door.
Whether a girl is bipolar or not, it’s easy for a man to call a woman crazy. Consider the double standard. A man is an ardent suitor when he is persistent. When a woman does exactly the same thing, she’s a stalker. Men who sleep around are playboys. Women who sleep around are sluts. Men who refuse to marry are bachelors. Women who refuse to get married are old maids. A man who dares is admirable. A woman who dares is crazy.
So women are kind of screwed. Instead of seeing them as misunderstood, they are instead over-simplified. To the men reading this article, take this as an example. Many of you guys see owning a sports car as your first step to world domination. First big bonus usually goes to a car dealership. You slide into one and to the untrained ass, the distance between the car and the cement is so close you end up tumbling inside instead of expertly sinking in. A man’s first time in a sports car is hardly sexy. You rev up the engine and it starts growling like a Tigress in heat. Everything in the car starts blinking frantically, and maintaining that stone-faced expression that is meant to conceal your inexperience dramatically crumbles.
The scariest thing of all is, of course, the stick. For a driver who has only known automatic shifts, going manual is like learning Chinese in thirty minutes.
Sport cars are not for sissies and neither are “crazy” women.
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Now what is crazy? A woman is called crazy when she voices out her opinions. She’s crazy if she doesn’t want to get married. She’s crazy if she dumps a boyfriend and prioritizes her job. A woman is crazy if she’s ambitious. Actually, anything that an independent and intelligent woman does can be labeled crazy.
Sure there are the Gone Girls, but that’s for another article. The other breed of “crazy” women are daring, unconventional and badass. In an irony-deficient country such as ours, their sarcastic humor outdoes their boobs and asses.
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These crazy women are probably the most interesting women you will ever meet. Men can be uneasy with a “crazy” aka strong woman’s power. Think of Zelda Fitzgerald. She was willful, and was made to think she was crazy for her unconventional ways. It took a lot but she broke down as her F. Scott Fitzgerald slowly killed himself by drinking. He made Zelda feel strange for her amazing talent, so she wouldn’t shine. Instead of going from party to party she then started going from asylum to asylum.
It will take time for men to perfect the art of appreciating a “crazy” woman. To be able to accept her power, strength and independence is learned. It’s cruel to expect a man to know what to do in a Ferrari on the first try. It’s the same thing with the “crazy” woman.  He will learn as he does with his complicated sports car that it's not the car’s fault that it’s not smooth sailing in the beginning. Loving a woman after all is an art. Practice makes perfect.
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Yeah I spent five hellish, abusive, fucked up, suicidal , sexually assaulting years with a "crazy woman" and it did not build character.
It built distrust, fear, and Trauma that I fight with every single day.
Under no circumstance that my abusive ex girlfriend make me or my life better.
The uphill battle I fight everyday to make myself a better person and heal from my pain is what makes me better.
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Episode 101: Earthlings
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“Earth is a prison.”
Beta was a difficult episode to write about on its own, because it’s the first half of a story without the resolution. Earthlings makes up for it by being the most definitive resolution in the series until Change Your Mind.
It might seem odd to choose such a negative header quote for such a positive episode, but Jasper’s baggage is responsible for the culmination of four, count ‘em, four Act II (Seasons 2-3) character arcs. And her response to Peridot’s earnest defense of the planet begins a final speech that sets the tone for Act III (Seasons 4-5). Love her or hate her, Jasper is the most important character in this story, and even though things go great for our three heroes, her story is a tragedy.
I’m not here to say that Jasper is just misunderstood, because she remains monstrous at the start of Earthlings, taunting her Corrupted prisoners and going further than ever to extol her hatred of weaker Gems. But at last, her bullying attitude is given an ethos: it’s been clear from the start that she’s a classic believer in Might Makes Right and a loyal Homeworlder, but watching her explain the values behind these virtues is both disturbing and illuminating. Bismuth, the most hardcore Crystal Gem soldier we’ve seen, radically defends the ability for Gems to choose their own paths. So it holds that Jasper, the most hardcore Homeworld soldier we’ve seen, believes the exact opposite with equal fervor.
Jasper is a bigot, and like all bigots she believes her views are backed by “facts” about the worth of other lives relative to her own. Unlike humans, Gems are made for specific purposes, so there’s slightly more merit to her beliefs than those of real world bigots. But like humans, Gems are capable of free will, and by imposing the oppressive power structure of Homeworld, Jasper becomes the ideal nemesis for characters whose identity crises are the result of this oppression. Meaning all of the Crystal Gems, really, but specifically Amethyst and Peridot given Jasper’s focus on physicality.
Still, for all the work done to set Jasper and Amethyst up as rivals, we should take a step back and remember that Amethyst cares way more about Jasper than vice versa. The lopsided fight means everything to our scrappy Crystal Gem, and Jasper indulges and belittles her from time to time, but it’s clear that she has another Gem on her mind, and it isn’t Peridot.
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It’s a fascinating choice (and the right one, because otherwise the episode’s focus is right out the window) to have Lapis Lazuli sit this fight out, considering she’s the reason any of this is happening. Jasper’s arc has almost nothing to do with Amethyst: it’s about an emotionally stunted savant who has no idea how to handle a bad breakup, and doubles down on the one thing she does well instead of seeking alternative solutions. Unfortunately for all involved, Jasper’s single area of expertise is violence.
Our first impression of Jasper is a brutal Gem who looks down on fusion, but decides to fuse the second the going gets tough. She’s prideful, but cares more about winning than her pride, so she takes a pragmatic approach to besting the Crystal Gems after losing a fight to a fusion. However, Malachite only brings Jasper more misery, and not just because her abuse of Lapis is soon met in kind: that taste of power is stripped from her, then her ex rejects her, and now she’s wandering her home planet, a planet she despises, alone. She could have ruled the oceans forever, but instead she’s stuck in the desert where she was born.
The tragedy of Jasper is that she tried to branch out and explore something that we know is good, but she did it for the wrong reasons, it didn’t work, and it kills the small part of her that was willing to look beyond her myopic worldview. Here she becomes desperate enough to fuse with a monster, and even the monster rejects her, and the only thing she has left is her convictions. And at her lowest point, in the face of her own demise, she refuses to betray them again. She said from the beginning that she respected Rose’s tactics, but now we know she’ll never accept her help, and is too stubborn to fathom that a Gem could be so capable of transformation that Steven is a different person. So Jasper loses her mind, and it never would have happened if she’d been able to change it instead.
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It’s fitting, then, that the three Gems she faces are the ones who have transformed the most over the course of the series: Steven and Peridot through character growth, and Amethyst as the character who has literally transformed more than anyone else.
The end of Jasper’s arc is tragic, but the end of Amethyst’s is triumphant. The mismatched battle between Amethyst and Jasper is tough to watch, but important: so many kid’s shows have heroes who beat impossible odds through sheer willpower, and while it’s a great message to try your best, it doesn’t account for the fights we can’t win. If the media you consume keeps telling you that you can do anything if you try hard enough, some part of you is gonna blame yourself for not doing the impossible when you meet impossible challenges in real life. Amethyst’s arc was never about beating Jasper alone: it’s about accepting that her inability to beat Jasper alone doesn’t make her any less wonderful. It’s okay to be vulnerable and rely on your friends and family when the going gets tough, and that’s exactly what saves the day.
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It’s a hell of a thing for the culmination of a character arc to be a new fusion, but what better way to show that Amethyst has accepted teamwork again? Smoky Quartz is the perfect design of a fusion made from two friends who are finally okay with their flaws: their brown mop of hair clashes with their skin color, and they have that gross extra forearm instead of the symmetrical bonus limbs we’re used to, but they’re just so pumped to be here. Their theme is a jubilant blend of Steven’s chiptunes and Amethyst’s drumkit, and Natasha Lyonne, herself no stranger to turmoil, imbues just a hint of her typically snarky delivery (see: Orange is the New Black, Russian Doll) to make Smoky a goofball with an edge. They aren’t bubbly because they’re naive or stupid, they’re bubbly because they’re on the other side of a tumultuous personal struggle.
We once again get a clever-as-hell fusion of our heroes’ weapons, combining Amethyst’s whip and Steven’s shield to make a yoyo. And while they do best Jasper in a fight, the more important thing is that they’re having fun instead of obsessing over a jerk. They crack puns, they cheer themselves on, and they even let dramatic developments like Jasper’s fusion with a Corrupted Gem slide right off. Yes, Amethyst is technically winning a fight in an arc about how it’s okay that she’s not gonna win the fight, but she does it with Steven, and even though we see her bubble a Gem’s gem for the first time, she doesn’t earn the final blow.
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Peridot may have hit a major milestone in her character development upon joining the Crystal Gems, but if we’re talking about the story of her becoming an earthling, this is the actual culmination. As with her encounter with Yellow Diamond, she shines when contrasted with a former superior, standing up for herself and her adopted home when it matters most. She’s still a ham, spending most of the episode struggling to show off her metal powers, but her signature hubris is now tempered with a healthier form of self-confidence: she doesn’t hesitate to defend her dignity or lifestyle, and beautifully ends an arc that began by thanking Steven all the way back in When It Rains with a simple “You’re welcome!”
So Jasper’s arc, Amethyst’s arc, and Peridot’s arc all come to a close at the same time. Who are we missing...
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Oh right.
This may not be the finale, but it’s the climax of Steven’s Act II character arc, meaning it’s the end of an era for the series that shares his name. There are many ways to read our lead protagonist’s character development for the original show’s three acts, but I see it as a sort of hierarchy of needs: from the beginning, he needs to become a Crystal Gem, live up to his mother’s legacy, and become a hero in his own right, and at the end of every act he checks off one of these goals. He correctly declares himself a true Crystal Gem at the end of Act I, and manages to find himself after his connection with Rose is forever changed in Act III, but Act II is a less obvious story about where he’s going in life, because his life is relatively stable throughout the second and third seasons. It’s everyone else whose lives are in flux: the other Crystal Gems have clear stages of growth and the Week of Sardonyx to deal with, Peridot and Lapis switch sides, Connie becomes a sword fighter, even Greg gains comical wealth, but Steven seems to stick to the status quo. 
I mentioned it in Steven vs. Amethyst, but it bears repeating that this act begins with Steven baring his heart and saying he’s not sure whether or not he’s his mom, and ends with him baring his heart and saying definitively that he’s not Rose Quartz, a sentiment he repeats here. The first two acts are about Steven trying to fill the void his mother left behind, but this goal shifts as he learns additional information. He’s uncertain in Act I because he knows very little about her, so he’s just trying to be a Crystal Gem. He then learns she was an alien invader who chose to protect Earth instead, so he spends Act II trying to live up to this expectation. The two stories may seem similar, especially compared to how different things are upon hearing that Rose shattered Pink Diamond, but I think the distinction is most easily found in the midpoint of each act.
Midway through Act I, Steven gains his mother’s healing abilities, learns that the Gems are aliens with opposing sides, and immediately loses his mother’s healing abilities. He’s in over his head, sporadic with the skills he inherited from Rose and clueless about her origins. Midway through Act II, Steven recruits a new ally, saves the planet from a Homeworld weapon, and immediately recruits another ally. He knows now that Rose was a defender of Earth and a friend to all outcast Gems, and is choosing to continue these traditions.
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Act II is the part of the story where Steven helplessly watches the Crystal Gems struggle through a serious personal rift, then learns to help each of them overcome their inner demons. He mediates, he inspires, and he grows his “army” by being a good friend to Connie, Peridot, and Lapis. Unlike Act I, he’s competently and intentionally following the footsteps of the Rose we’ve heard about for the entire series. But still, he questions his worthiness.
Steven’s second arc ends with him helping Amethyst, but failing to help Jasper, and it’s just the sort of bittersweet victory that fits a story about trying to personify an idealistic version of a flawed figure. He gets a lot of things right, and looking up to the concept of a perfect Rose is responsible for a lot of good in his life, but it also leads to self-doubt when he can’t possibly live up to this illusion of a standard. And when he tries to keep fulfilling that legacy by using her healing powers to help Jasper, Rose’s other legacy is what gets in his way. Jasper gets a tragedy, Amethyst and Peridot get triumphs, but Steven gets something in the middle: he wins the day, and he becomes stronger in the real way over the course of two seasons, but he fails to become just like Rose because not even Rose was just like the Rose he thought he knew.
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For all its resolutions, Earthlings is still an episode that sets the table for a finale that opens a floodgate instead of closing the door. We see the crest of the Diamond Authority more clearly than ever as Jasper exposits about the intended purpose of Gems, and given the slow trickle of lore we’ve gotten so far, this could’ve been it. But then, after a bevy of hints throughout the series that something is up with the diamond on the bottom of the crest, we finally hear Pink Diamond’s name.
That story is about to get a lot more complicated, and I appreciate that we aren’t teased about what Rose did to her Diamond for long. But thanks to Kimberly Brooks (who kills it in an episode that gives her plenty to do), this inherently compelling name drop is given additional weight by the anguish in Jasper’s voice. We’ve seen her down before, and she sounds more defeated than ever when bemoaning her bad luck with fusion partners, but Jasper’s last words are a chilling blend of her signature rage with despair. This is someone bent on Gems fulfilling their intended purpose, and thousands of years later, she’s still devastated that she couldn’t fulfill her own. She wasn’t just made to fight, she was made to win a single war, and she lost.
The table is also set by another cliffhanger, because this may be the end for four huge stories all at once, but it’s not the end of Act II. Strap in, folks, it’s time for Steven’s third arc to begin.
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Future Vision!
I mean, it’s a short turnaround, but Eyeball had better get used to being bubbled alive.
We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
Keeping It Together just got back into the top list, and back down it goes. Sorry! But Earthlings is an incredible all-around episode. Terrific character work that coincides with terrific big picture storytelling, lore galore, great music, great action, a new fusion, and a tentative sense that everything’s gonna be alright that leaves us nice and warm until the other shoe drops. The scary thing is that this would be even higher if it and Beta were aired as a single entity.
Top Twenty
Steven and the Stevens
Hit the Diamond
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
The Return
Jailbreak
The Answer
Sworn to the Sword
Rose’s Scabbard
Earthlings
Mr. Greg
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Beach City Drift
Winter Forecast
Bismuth
When It Rains
Catch and Release
Chille Tid
Love ‘em
Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2: The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Ocean Gem
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
Warp Tour
The Test
Future Vision
On the Run
Maximum Capacity
Marble Madness
Political Power
Full Disclosure
Joy Ride
Keeping It Together
We Need to Talk
Cry for Help
Keystone Motel
Back to the Barn
Steven’s Birthday
It Could’ve Been Great
Message Received
Log Date 7 15 2
Same Old World
The New Lars
Monster Reunion
Alone at Sea
Crack the Whip
Beta
Like ‘em
Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven
The Message
Open Book
Story for Steven
Shirt Club
Love Letters
Reformed
Rising Tides, Crashing Tides
Onion Friend
Historical Friction
Friend Ship
Nightmare Hospital
Too Far
Barn Mates
Steven Floats
Drop Beat Dad
Too Short to Ride
Restaurant Wars
Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service
Greg the Babysitter
Gem Hunt
Steven vs. Amethyst
Enh
Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team
Say Uncle
Super Watermelon Island
Gem Drill
No Thanks!
     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure
(No promo art for this second half of an episode, so instead we’ll go with HeavenSevenEleven’s gorgeous depiction of Jasper. Not used to that much color up there!)
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occultsleutha · 5 years
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SHIPPING INFO: Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.
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What’s your OTP for your Muse?
The Hellblazer canon ones, of course. But out of those, I’m just gonna say JohnZee since the other characters are not reoccuring DC characters that anyone would even think to RP, lol. My rarepair is JohnClark, but don’t get me started because I will literally never shutup about why this ship is Poetic Cinema.
What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?
One Night Stands: John is a horny fool. Bonus points if your character does the walk of shame the morning after. It’s okay, he won’t tell, he likes dirty little secrets. ; )
Fluff: Naturally, John takes a long time to open up but once he does, he’s somewhat of a  ( purposeful ) cornball. This is the hardest level to Unlock(TM).
Sexual Tension Denial: John’s doesn’t have the worst reputation. I’m sure there’s still a lot of superheroes that wanna smash but tell themselves they don’t because they’re trying to upkeep their sense of morals. But John knows the truth. >: )
Angst: John’s a hard person to love, not just because he has commitment issues and 7 suitcases of unresolved trauma, but everyone he loves gets killed because of him, so. Sorry in advanced.
Dating Experiments: Dating period that doesn’t really work out for whatever reason. Could turn out awkward, or neutral, or whatever you want.
Crash and Burn: The “We loved each other but it still didn’t work. We tried, though, we really did.” trope fucks me up.
Toxic Relationships: The nature of John’s past trauma, the traumatizing job he has right now, and his coping mechanisms are a recipe for disaster. John has a lot of anger, and outbursts, and shuts down a lot. One of his defense mechanisms is crossing the line and pissing you off so you’ll leave him and as a result, have a safer life. Relationship could flop depending on how the other person responds to him, or it could struggle along until the other person finally realizes John isn’t going to help himself.
Bitter Ex: Dump him, he’s trash. Throw his clothes out the window, try to smash his head with a beer bottle. Be bitter about it and have snarky banter whenever you cross paths!
Selfless Breakup: John breaks up with your muse because he wants to keep you safe. John admitting this is optional. 
Breakups: Break up with John, break his heart. He will probably let you because he thinks he deserves it. But maybe one day he’ll get really drunk and knock on your door at 3AM crying about it. :’ )
 Booty Calls: John is down for any kind of sex, threesomes, non-humans, etc. I don’t really RP smut though, but you’re more than welcome to. Or make implications if the time comes for it.
Unrequited: Honestly, you could do better, please don’t pine over this fool.
Really anything. Weird shit happens all the time. Shoot me your ideas.
How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?
John is anywhere from 35 - 60 on this blog. John won’t really be interested being in a committed relationship with someone significantly younger than him. I’d say 10 years younger is the absolute max. If your muse is 35+, he won’t care that much. 
Are you selective when shipping?
John’s compatibility is hard to match. He doesn’t really seek out committed relationships, and if he does, he does it on the basis that he doesn’t expect it to be long term. 
He is sociable and flirty when he has good drinking days, but he’s not that willing to get vulnerable for other people. Especially since he gets everyone killed when they become part of his life. 
John also doesn’t think he deserves love, among other issues related to trauma.
If anyone is interested in John they’re going to need to be really patient and actually TRY to understand who he is instead of making assumptions on his reputation. He lives a VERY different life than normal people, the rules that apply to the occult and everything associated do not always match with the real world. He has to make difficult choices daily and he’s not always proud of them. Your muse has to understand that they’re not entirely in a place to judge, and may not entirely ever understand.
PATIENCE.
Also be ready to take on a lot of emotional baggage.
 Are you attracted to habitual smoking and drinking? 
If your muse is not a Good Character a long-term committed relationship will probably not last. John can be terrible on his bad days, but at his core he needs someone that fosters positive emotions and will push him to be better. He always reaches out to people that carry the kind of light he wishes he had. John regresses very easily, he can’t last long in environments where negativity festers. He’s not strong enough to commit to people that are as broken as him; he’s much better giving them help and sending them on their way. But even the “bad” ships are still ships, so.
How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?
anything involving genital mention i guess??
Who are other muses you ship your muse with?
@hraunwyf because loki, an immortal goddess, falling in love with someone like john constantine is nothing short of dramatic and spicy
@cardshcrp two idiots and maybe future exes ; )
[ FREE SPACE FOR ANY AND ALL CLARKS WINKWONK, ]
There are other blogs I’m mutuals with where John flirts w/ them, and has had some spicy stuff but im probably not active enough for them to have gotten far in development nfkndg
Does one have to ask to ship with you?
Up to you.
How often do you like to ship?
John isn’t the “shippy” type, so I never really prioritize it.
Are you multiship?
Sure, there’s enough trash man Johnny to go around if you’re really that eager to ruin your life,
Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?
Ship-less.
What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?
JohnClark. I’m the captain of the ship and I will go down with it honorably,
Finally, how does one ship with you?
Flirt with John and see where it goes. 
Message me about it if you want to explore a ‘what-if,’ those conversations are fun.
Tagged by:   @pathtotruth Tagging:   anyone.
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ts1989fanatic · 5 years
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The 16 Best Taylor Swift Songs to Listen to
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It's hard to believe Taylor Swift has been famous for over a decade now—a staggering level of fame that has seen gossip, girl squads, and high-profile relationships come and go. Known for her narrative songwriting, Swift boasts a massive discography broken up into "eras" by her loyal fan base. From her early country beginnings to the dark pop of 2017's Reputation, here are the 16 best Taylor Swift songs.
1
"All Too Well"
Widely considered to be her magnum opus, "All Too Well" tells the cautionary tale of a romance gone terribly wrong. Listeners follow Swift and her lover (feverishly theorized to be Jake Gyllenhaal) as she paints a picture of domestic upstate bliss devastated by a breakup. The nearly six-minute track peaks halfway through, when Swift unravels and drops the line: "You call me up again just to break me like a promise / So casually cruel in the name of being honest." It's dramatic, hyper-specific, and gut-wrenching: Taylor at her finest.
2
"Our Song"
If any song sparks joy, the third single from Swift's eponymous debut album is it. Full of charming lyrics with an equally delightful music video (The tulle! The roses! The makeup and curls!), "Our Song" is a showy display of her burgeoning superstardom.
3
"Blank Space"
Described by Swift as an answer to the media's "psycho serial dater" narrative, "Blank Space" boasts lyrics like, "Got a long list of ex lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane," and "Darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream." Gone are the sweetly wide-eyed love songs: "Blank Space" is 100 percent biting cynicism.
4
"Enchanted"
An epic love song about the magical moment you first meet someone, "Enchanted" is wistful, dramatic, angsty, and...about Owl City's Adam Young??? Who later covered the song and professed his mutual enchantment???? But literally NOTHING came of it???????? I still have so many questions. It also launched one of her fandom's most beloved memes.
5
"Tim McGraw"
Taylor's debut single is an ode to the songs that transport us back in time. No wonder it cemented her status on country radio—the track bears the same name as country music megastar Tim McGraw, a ballsy and genius move for the then-newcomer.
6
"Last Kiss"
Whomst among us has not cried over their ex to "Last Kiss?" The tune is simple, with each loaded lyric sung in clipped phrases until Swift hits the drawn-out bridge: "I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep / I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe." Oof.
7
"Holy Ground"
The song that should've been a single but never was, "Holy Ground" opens with driving drums and the word vomit "I-was-reminiscing-just-the-other-day-while-having-coffee-all-alone-and-Lord-it-took-me-away," making it hard not to get swept up in Taylor's relationship nostalgia.
8
"You Belong With Me"
Unrequited love and high school pretty much go hand in hand, as illustrated in this Swift classic. There's something freeing about the melody that makes you want to sing it at the top of your lungs. One listen to the pleading lyrics "Why can't you seeeeee? You belong with meeeee," and suddenly it's 2009. Ah, simpler times!
9
"Shake It Off"
"My ex-man brought his new girlfriend, she's like 'Oh my god,' but I'm just gonna shake." That lyric? Could move mountains.
10
"Red"
Our songstress takes her favorite lip color and applies it to a whirlwind romance that's like "driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street." The bouncy tune is a bit coy, a bit romantic, and a full-on banger.
11
"The Way I Loved You"
Hidden on Fearless is this sleeper hit about dating a perfectly nice boy who turns out to be, well, boring as hell. Instead, an unimpressed Taylor daydreams about her ex and their batshit-cray romance of yesteryear, singing, "I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain." "Rollercoaster kind of rush," indeed.
12
"Style"
Pop legends Max Martin, Shellback, and Ali Payami join forces with Swift on this moody disco track. The impeccable production is backed by flirty lyrics like, "I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt." After some back and forth ("I heard that you've been out and about with some other girl," she accuses; "What you heard is true, but I can't stop thinking about you," he admits), Swift throws caution to the wind with the "Take me home" coda.
13
"Picture to Burn"
The banjo! The country accent! The problematic lyrics that were thankfully changed! And who could forget the wonderfully terrible acting in this music video, featuring Taylor's IRL BFF Abigail Anderson.
14
"Delicate"
New relationships are a balancing act: You weigh how much you like someone against the real possibility of it all blowing up in your face. The stakes are high, and Swift knows that: "Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate. Isn't it?"
15
"Wildest Dreams"
I live for The Drama™ and nothing is more Drama™ than the heartbeat intro, string orchestra, and old-glamour vibes of "Wildest Dreams." Makes me want to stand in a nice dress/stare at a sunset real bad.
16
"You Are in Love"
Bleachers’ Jack Antonoff helped out on this bonus track from 1989 (which is reportedly inspired by ex-girlfriend Lena Dunham). Swift sings about a relationship that’s stable and sure—a contrast from her previous stormy love songs. Focusing on details like “The light reflects the chain on your neck” and “He keeps a picture of you in his office downtown,” Taylor reminds us it’s the little things that can make us fall for a person.
ts1989fanatic did your favourite make the list, mine did my #1 Taylor song came in at #15
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makistar2018 · 5 years
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All 125 Taylor Swift Songs, Ranked From Worst to Best
By NATE JONES April 30, 2019
In this business, there are two subjects that will boost your page views like nothing else: Game of Thrones and Taylor Swift. One of them is a massive, multi-million-dollar enterprise filled with violence and betrayal, and the other airs on HBO. I find it hard to explain why exactly, and I’m sure Swift would, too: Somehow, this one 27-year-old woman from Wyomissing, Pennsylvania, keeps finding herself at the center of our national conversations about race, gender, celebrity, victimhood, even the economics of the tech industry. And, outside the legions of fans who eat up everything she puts out, no take on her ever stays solid for long. She was a precocious teenager, and the ultimate embodiment of white privilege. She’s been feminism’s worst nightmare, and an advocate for victims of sexual assault. Some people say she’s a goddess of the alt-right. Other people say she’s Jewish.
And yet, unlike Madonna or Bowie, Swift got through the first 11 years of her career without any major reinventions. (For 1989, she embraced feminism and threw away the last vestiges of her Nashville sound, but those were basically just aesthetic changes.) If the word on her has shifted since her debut, it’s because we’ve changed, not her. Swift — or at least the version of Swift on her albums — has remained largely the same person since her debut: a thin-skinned, bighearted obsessive, with a penchant for huge romantic moments. People don’t slowly ease into a relationship in her songs; they show up at each other’s doors late at night and they kiss in the rain. An unworthy suitor won’t just say something thoughtless; he’ll skip a birthday party or leave a teenage girl crying alone in a hotel room. Listen to her songs and you’ll ache at the resemblance to the most dramatic moments in your own private history. Listen to too many and you might ache again at the nagging feeling that those stories of yours have all been a bit uneventful and drab by comparison. What sort of real life can stand up against fantasies like these?
So, uh, I don’t recommend you listen to this list top to bottom.
But I do recommend sampling as many of these songs as you see fit. Even with the widespread critical embrace of poptimism — a development I suspect has as much to do with the economics of online media as it does with the shifting winds of taste — there are still those who see Swift as just another industry widget, a Miley or Katy with the tuner set to “girl with a guitar.” If this list does anything, I hope it convinces you that, underneath all the thinkpieces, exes, and feuds, she is one of our era’s great singer-songwriters. She may not have the raw vocal power of some of her competitors, but what she lacks in Mariah-level range she makes up for in versatility and personality. (A carpetbagger from the Pennsylvania suburbs, she became an expert code-switcher early in her career and never looked back.) And when it comes to writing instantly memorable pop songs, her only peers are a few anonymous Swedish guys, none of whom perform their own stuff. I count at least ten stone-cold classics in her discography. Others might see more. No matter how high your defenses, I guarantee you’ll find at least one that breaks them down. 
Some ground rules: We’re ranking every Taylor Swift song that’s ever been released with her name on it — which means we must sadly leave out the unreleased 9/11 song “Didn’t They” as well as Nils Sjöberg’s “This Is What You Came For” — excluding tracks where Swift is merely “featured” (no one’s reading this list for B.o.B.’s “Both of Us”) but including a few duets where she gets an “and” credit. Songwriting is an important part of Swift’s spellbook, so covers are treated more harshly than originals. Because Swift’s career began so young, we’re left in the awkward position of judging work done by a literal high-schooler, which can feel at times like punching down. I’ll try to make slight allowances for age, reserving the harshest criticism for the songs written when Swift was an adult millionaire.
125. “Look What You Made Me Do,” Reputation (2017): “There’s a mistake that I see artists make when they’re on their fourth or fifth record, and they think innovation is more important than solid songwriting,” Swift told New York back in 2013. “The most terrible letdown as a listener for me is when I’m listening to a song and I see what they were trying to do.” To Swift’s credit, it took her six records to get to this point. On a conceptual level, the mission here is clear: After the Kim-Kanye feud made her the thinking person’s least-favorite pop star, this comeback single would be her grand heel turn. But the villain costume sits uneasily on Swift’s shoulders, and even worse, the songwriting just isn’t there. The verses are vacuous, the insults have no teeth, and just when the whole thing seems to be leading up to a gigantic redemptive chorus, suddenly pop! The air goes out of it and we’re left with a taunting Right Said Fred reference — the musical equivalent of pulling a Looney Tunes gag on the listener. Other Swift songs have clunkier rhymes, or worse production values, but none of them have such a gaping hole at the center. (I do dig the gleeful “Cuz she’s dead!” though.)
124. “Umbrella,” iTunes Live From Soho (2008): Swift has recorded plenty of covers in her career, and none are less essential than this 90-second rendition of the Rihanna hit recorded at the peak of the song’s popularity. It’s pure college-campus coffeehouse.
123. “Christmas Must Mean Something More,” The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection (2007): One of two originals on Swift’s early-career Christmas album, “Something More” is a plea to put the Christ back in Christmas. Or as she puts it: “What if happiness came in a cardboard box? / Then I think there is something we all forgot.” In the future, Swift would get better at holding onto some empathy when she was casting a critical eye at the silly things people care about; here, the vibe is judgmental in a way that will be familiar to anyone who’s ever reread their teenage diary.
122. “Better Than Revenge,” Speak Now (2010): A nasty little song that has not aged well. Whether a straightforward imitation of Avril Lavigne’s style or an early attempt at “Blank Space”–style self-satirization, the barbs never go beyond bratty. (As in “Look What You Made Me Do,” the revenge turns out to be the song itself, which feels hollow.) Best known now for the line about “the things she does on the mattress,” which I suspect has been cited in blog posts more times than the song itself has been listened to lately.
121. “American Girl,” Non-album digital single (2009): Why would you cover this song and make it slower?
120. “I Want You Back,” Speak Now World Tour – Live (2011): Another 90-second cover of a pop song that does not particularly benefit from a stripped-down arrangement.
119. “Santa Baby,” The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection (2007): Before Ariana Grande’s “Santa Tell Me,” there was only one holiday song about falling in love with Santa, and for some reason, we spent decades making all our young female singers cover it. Swift’s version leans out of the awkwardness by leaning into the materialism; she puts most of her vocal emphasis on the nice presents she hopes Santa will bring her. (The relationship seems to be fairly quid pro quo: She’ll believe in him if he gives her good gifts — even at this early stage, Swift possessed a savvy business sense.) Otherwise, this is a by-the-numbers holiday cover, complete with sleigh bells in the mix.
118. “Sweet Escape,” Speak Now World Tour – Live; Target edition DVD (2011): Swift’s sedate cover of the 2006 Gwen Stefani hit — those “ooh-ooh”s are pitched way down from Akon’s falsetto in the original — invests the song with a bittersweet vibe, though like anyone who’s ever tried the song at karaoke, she stumbles on the rapid-fire triplets in the first verse.
117. “Silent Night,” The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection (2007): Swift’s cover of the Christmas classic veers significantly away from Franz Xaver Gruber’s original melody, and even gives it a Big Taylor Swift Finale. Points for ambition, but sometimes you just want to hear the old standards the way you remember them.
116. “The Last Time,” Red (2012): Red is Swift’s strongest album, but it suffers a bit from pacing issues: The back half is full of interminable ballads that you’ve got to slog through to get to the end. Worst of all is this duet with po-faced Ulsterman Gary Lightbody, which feels about ten minutes long.
115. “Invisible,” Taylor Swift: Special Edition (2006): A bonus track from the debut that plays like a proto–”You Belong With Me.” The “show you” / “know you” rhymes mark this as an early effort.
114. “…Ready for It?,” Reputation (2017): The second straight misfire off the Reputation rollout, this one sees Swift try her hand at rapping, with some ill-advised bars about Elizabeth Taylor and a flow she borrowed from Jay-Z. (Try to rap “Younger than my exes” without spilling into “rest in peace, Bob Marley.”) Bumped up a spot or two for the chorus, a big Swift hook that sounds just like her best work — in this case, because it bites heavily from “Wildest Dreams.”
113. “I Heart ?,” Beautiful Eyes EP (2008): Swift code-switches like a champ on this charmingly shallow country song, which comes from the Walmart-exclusive EP she released between her first two albums. Her vocals get pretty rough in the chorus, but at least we’re left with the delightful line, “Wake up and smell the breakup.”
112. “Bad Blood,” 1989 (2014): When Swift teamed up with Max Martin and Shellback, the marriage of their dark eldritch songcraft nearly broke the pop charts. But when they misfire, the results can be brutal. The lyric here indulges the worst habits of late-period Swift — an eagerness to play the victim, a slight lack of resemblance to anything approaching real life — attached to a schoolyard-chant melody that will never leave your head, even when you may want it to. The remix hollows out the production and replaces Swift’s verses with two from Kendrick Lamar; it’s less embarrassing than the original, which does not make it more memorable.
111. “White Christmas,” The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection (2007):The most bluegrass of Swift’s Christmas tunes, this gentle rendition sees Swift’s vocals cede center stage to the mandolin and fiddle.
110. “Crazier,” Hannah Montana: The Movie soundtrack (2009): When approached by the filmmakers about contributing a song to the Hannah Montana movie, Swift sent in this track, seemingly a holdover from the Fearless sessions. In an admirable bit of dedication, she also showed up to play it in the film’s climax. It’s kind of a snooze on its own, but compared to the other songs on the soundtrack, even Swift’s leftovers shine.
109. “I’d Lie,” Taylor Swift (2006): A bonus track only available to people who bought Swift’s debut at Best Buy. It’s as cute as a study-hall MASH game, and just as easily disposable.
108. “Highway Don’t Care,” Tim McGraw’s Two Lanes of Freedom(2013): After joining Big Machine, McGraw gave Swift an “and” credit here as a professional courtesy. Though her backing vocals are very pleasant, this is 100 percent a Tim McGraw song.
107. “Superman,” Speak Now: Deluxe Edition (2010): A bonus track that’s not gonna make anyone forget Five for Fighting any time soon.
106. “Change,” Fearless (2008): A bit of paint-by-numbers inspiration that apparently did its job of spurring the 2008 U.S. Olympic team to greatness. They won 36 gold medals!
105. “End Game,” Reputation (2017): Swift tries out her blaccent alongside Future and Ed Sheeran, on a track that sounds unmistakably like a Rihanna reject. The only silver lining? She’s better at rapping here than on “…Ready for It?”
104. “The Lucky One,” Red (2012): A plight-of-fame ballad from the back half of Red, with details that never rise above cliché and a melody that borrows from the one Swift cooked up for “Untouchable.”
103. “A Place in This World,” Taylor Swift (2006): Swift’s version of “Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman,” this one feels like it missed its chance to be the theme tune for an ABC Family show.
102. “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever,” Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack (2017): In Fifty Shades Darker, this wan duet soundtracks a scene where Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele go for a sunny boat ride while wearing fabulous sweaters. On brand!
101. “Last Christmas,” The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection (2007): Swift does George Michael proud with this reverent cover of the Wham! classic.
100. “Breathless,” Hope for Haiti Now (2010): Swift covered this Better Than Ezra deep cut for the Hope for Haiti telethon. With only one take to get it right, she did not let the people of Haiti down.
99. “Bette Davis Eyes,” Speak Now World Tour – Live (2012): “There’s some unbelievable music that has come out of artists who are from L.A., did you know that?” Swift asks the audience at the beginning of this live track. The crowd, not being idiots, responds with an enthusiastic yes. This cover loses the two most famous parts of Kim Carnes’s original — the synths and Carnes’s throaty delivery — but the acoustic arrangement and Swift’s intimate vocals bring out the best qualities of the tune.
98. “Eyes Open,” The Hunger Games: Songs From District 12 and Beyond (2012): One of two songs Swift contributed to the first Hunger Games soundtrack. With guitars seemingly ripped straight out of 1998 alt-rock radio, this one’s most interesting now as a preview of Swift’s Red sound.
97. “Beautiful Eyes,” Beautiful Eyes EP (2008): The title track of Swift’s early-career EP finds the young songwriter getting a lot of mileage out of one single vowel sound: Besides the eyes of the title, we’ve got I, why, fly, cry, lullaby, even sometimes. A spirited vocal performance in the outro saves the song from feeling like homework.
96. “The Outside,” Taylor Swift (2006): If you thought you felt weird judging songs by a high-schooler, here’s one by an actual sixth-grader. “The Outside” was the second song Swift ever wrote, and though the lyrics edge into self-pity at times, this is still probably the best song written by a 12-year-old since Mozart’s “Symphony No. 7 in D Major.”
95. “SuperStar,” Fearless: Platinum Edition (2008): This bonus track is a relic of an unfamiliar time when Swift could conceivably be the less-famous person in a relationship.
94. “Starlight,” Red (2012): Never forget that one of the most critically acclaimed albums of 2012 contains a piece of Ethel Kennedy fanfiction. The real story of Bobby and Ethel has more rough spots than you’ll find in this resolutely rose-colored track, but that’s what happens when you spend a summer hanging in Hyannis Port.
93. “Sad Beautiful Tragic,” Red (2012): Another glacially paced song from the back half of Red that somehow pulls off rhyming “magic” with “tragic.”
92. “Innocent,” Speak Now (2010): The disparate reactions to Kanye West stage-crashing Swift at the 2009 VMAs speaks to the Rorschachian nature of Swift’s star image. Was Swift a teenage girl whose moment was ruined by an older man who couldn’t control himself? Or was she a white woman playing the victim to demonize an outspoken black man? Both are correct, which is why everyone’s spent so much time arguing about it. Unfortunately, Swift did herself no favors when she premiered “Innocent” at the next year’s VMAs, opening with footage of the incident, which couldn’t help but feel like she was milking it. (Fairly or not, the comparison to West’s own artistic response hardly earns any points in the song’s favor.) Stripped of all this context, “Innocent” is fine: Swift turns in a tender vocal performance, though the lyrics could stand to be less patronizing.
91. “Girl at Home,” Red: Deluxe Edition (2012): This Red bonus track offers a foreshadowing of Swift’s interest in sparkly ’80s-style production. A singsongy melody accompanies a largely forgettable lyric, except for one hilariously blunt line: “It would be a fine proposition … if I was a stupid girl.”
90. “A Perfectly Good Heart,” Taylor Swift: Special Edition (2006): A pleading breakup song with one killer turn of phrase and not much else.
89. “Mary’s Song (Oh My Oh My),” Taylor Swift (2006): This early track was inspired by Swift’s elderly neighbors. Like “Starlight,” it’s a young person’s vision of lifelong love, skipping straight from proposal to old age.
88. “Come in With the Rain,” Fearless: Platinum Edition (2008): An ode to a long-lost lover that follows the Swift template a tad too slavishly.
87. “Dancing With Our Hands Tied,” Reputation (2017): Reputation sags a bit in the middle, never more than on this forgettable ’80s-inspired track.
86. “Welcome to New York,” 1989 (2014): In retrospect, there could not have been a song more perfectly designed to tick off the authenticity police — didn’t Swift know that real New Yorkers stayed up till 3 a.m. doing drugs with Fabrizio Moretti in the bathroom of Mars Bar? I hope you’re sitting down when I tell you this, but it’s possible the initial response to a Taylor Swift song might have been a little reactionary. When it’s not taken as a mission statement, “Welcome to New York” is totally tolerable, a glimmering confetti throwaway with lovely synths.
85. “Tied Together With a Smile,” Taylor Swift (2006): When she was just a teenager with a development deal, Swift hooked up with veteran Nashville songwriter Liz Rose. The two would collaborate on much of Swift’s first two albums. “We wrote and figured out that it really worked. She figured out she could write Taylor Swift songs, and I wouldn’t get in the way,” Rose said later. “She’d say a line and I’d say, ‘What if we say it like this?’ It’s kind of like editing.” This early ballad about a friend with bulimia sees Swift and Rose experimenting with metaphor. Most of them work.
84. “King of My Heart,” Reputation (2017): Swift is fond of saying that “songs are what you think of on the drive home — you know, the Great Afterthought.” (She says it’s a Joni Mitchell quote, but I haven’t been able to find it.) Anyway, I think that’s why some of the love songs on Reputationdon’t quite land: Swift is writing about a relationship from inside of it, instead of with hindsight. It’s a different skill, which could explain why the boyfriend character here is less vividly sketched than some of her other ones.
83. “Come Back … Be Here,” Red: Deluxe Edition (2012): A vulnerable track about long-distance love, with simple sentiments overwhelmed by extravagant production.
82. “Breathe,” Fearless (2008): A Colbie Caillat collaboration that’s remarkable mostly for being a rare Swift song about a friend breakup. It’s like if “Bad Blood” contained actual human emotions.
81. “Stay Beautiful,” Taylor Swift (2006): Nathan Chapman was a Nashville session guitarist before he started working with Swift. He produced her early demos, and she fought for him to sit behind the controls on her debut; the two would work together on every Swift album until 1989, when his role was largely taken over by Max Martin and Shellback. Here, he brings a sprightly arrangement to Swift’s ode to an achingly good-looking man.
80. “Nashville,” Speak Now World Tour – Live; Target edition DVD (2011): Swift gives some shine to singer-songwriter David Mead with a cover of his 2004 ballad. (Listen to the screams during the chorus and try to guess where this one was recorded.) She treats it with a delicate respect, like she’s handling her grandmother’s china.
79. “So It Goes,” Reputation (2017): Unfortunately not a Nick Lowe cover, this one comes and goes without making much of an impact, but if you don’t love that whispered “1-2-3,” I don’t know what to tell you.
78. “You’re Not Sorry,” Fearless (2008): An unflinching kiss-off song that got a gothic remix for Swift’s appearance as an ill-fated teen on CSI. It shouldn’t work, but it does.
77. “Drops of Jupiter,” Speak Now World Tour – Live (2012): The best of the covers on the live album sees Swift commit to the Train hit like she’d written it herself. If you had forgotten that this song came out in 2001, she keeps the line about Tae Bo.
76. “The Other Side of the Door,” Fearless: Platinum Edition (2008): A bonus track saved from mediocrity by a gutsy outro that hints that Swift, like any good millennial, was a big fan of “Semi-Charmed Life.”
75. “Gorgeous,” Reputation (2017): In the misbegotten rollout for Reputation, “Gorgeous” righted the ship by not being completely terrible. Max Martin and Shellback pack the track with all sorts of amusing audio doodads, but the melody is a little too horizontal to stick, and the lyrics have a touch of first draft about them. (You’d be forgiven for preferring the actual first draft, which is slightly more open and real.)
74. “I Wish You Would,” 1989 (2014): Like “You Are in Love,” this one originated as a Jack Antonoff instrumental track, and the finished version retains his fingerprints. Perhaps too much — you get the sense it might work better as a Bleachers song.
73. “Cold As You,” Taylor Swift (2006): A dead-serious breakup song that proved the teenage Swift (with help from Rose, who’s got a co-writing credit) could produce barbs sharper than most adults: “You come away with a great little story / Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you.” Jesus.
72. “Haunted,” Speak Now (2010): In which Swift tries her hand at Evanescence-style goth-rock. She almost pulls it off, but at this point in Swift’s career her voice wasn’t quite strong enough to give the unrestrained performance the song calls for.
71. “This Love,” 1989 (2014): Began life as a poem before evolving into an atmospheric 1989 deep cut. Like an imperfectly poached egg, it’s shapeless but still quite appetizing.
70. “Untouchable,” Fearless: Platinum Edition (2008): Technically a Luna Halo cover (don’t worry about it), though Swift discards everything but the bones of the original. Her subsequent renovation job is worthy of HGTV: It’s nearly impossible to believe this was ever not a Taylor Swift song.
69. “Wonderland,” 1989: Deluxe Edition (2014): A deranged bonus track that sees Swift doing the absolute most. This song has everything: Alice in Wonderland metaphors, Rihanna chants, a zigzag bridge that recalls “I Knew You Were Trouble,” screams. As she puts it, “It’s all fun and games ’til somebody loses their MIND!”
68. “Sweeter Than Fiction,” One Chance soundtrack (2013): Swift’s first collaboration with Jack Antonoff is appropriately ’80s-inspired, and so sugary that a well-placed key change in the chorus is the only thing that staves off a toothache.
67. “I’m Only Me When I’m With You,” Taylor Swift: Special Edition(2006): A rollicking pop-rock tune that recalls early Kelly Clarkson. As if to reassure nervous country fans, the fiddle goes absolutely nuts.
66. “Tell Me Why,” Fearless (2008): A bog-standard tale of an annoyingly clueless guy, but it’s paired with one of Swift and Rose’s most winning melodies.
65. “If This Was a Movie,” Speak Now: Deluxe Edition (2010): The mirror image of “White Horse,” which makes it feel oddly superfluous.
64. “How You Get the Girl,” 1989 (2014): The breeziest and least complicated of Swift’s guy-standing-on-a-doorstep songs, which contributed to the feeling that 1989 was something of an emotional regression. You probably shouldn’t take it as an instruction manual unless you’re Harry Styles.
63. “Don’t Blame Me,” Reputation (2017): A woozy if slightly anonymous love song that comes off as a sexier “Take Me to Church.” [A dozen Hozier fans storm out of the room.]
62. “The Way I Loved You,” Fearless (2008): Written in collaboration with Big and Rich’s John Rich, which may explain how stately and mid-tempo this one is. (There’s even a martial drumbeat.) Here, she’s faced with a choice between a too-perfect guy — he’s close to her mother and talks business with her father — and a tempestuous relationship full of “screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain,” and if you don’t know which one she prefers I suggest you listen to more Taylor Swift songs. Swift often plays guessing games about which parts of her songs are autobiographical, but this one is explicitly a fantasy.
61. “New Romantics,” 1989: Deluxe Edition (2014): Like “22,” an attempt at writing a big generational anthem. That it was left off the album proper suggests Swift didn’t think it quite got there, though it did its job of extending the singles cycle of 1989 a few more months. Despite what anyone says about “Welcome to New York,” the line here about waiting for “trains that just aren’t coming” indicates its writer has had at least one authentic New York experience.
60. “Sparks Fly,” Speak Now (2010): This one dates back to Swift’s high-school days, and was destined for obscurity until fans fell in love with the live version. After what seems like a lot of tinkering, it finally got a proper studio release on Swift’s third album. It’s like “True Love Waits,” but with more kissing in the rain.
59. “Me!,” Untitled Seventh Album (2019): Well, what did we expect? The run-up to “Me!” was preceded by a weeks-long guessing game about what precisely would be the nature of Swift’s April 26 announcement. Would she come out? Would she come out and reveal she had once dated Karlie Kloss? Cut to the fateful day, and the news was … Swift, who is a pop singer, was releasing a new pop song. After the Sturm und Drang of the Reputation era, “Me!” is a return to anodyne sweetness, a mission statement that says, “I’m through making mission statements.” The result is blandly inoffensive, emphasis on the bland.
58. “All You Had to Do Was Stay,” 1989 (2014): Just like the melody to “Yesterday” and the “Satisfaction” riff, the high-pitched “Stay!” here came to its writer in a dream. Inspiration works in mysterious ways.
57. “Delicate, Reputation (2017): With multitracked, breathy vocals, this is Swift at her most tentative. Would any other album’s Taylor be asking, “Is it cool that I said all that?”
56. “Stay Stay Stay,” Red (2012): Swift broke out her southern accent one last time for this attempt at homespun folk, which is marred by production that’s so clean it’s practically antiseptic. In an alternate universe where a less-ambitious Swift took a 9-to-5 job writing ad jingles, this one soundtracked a TV spot for the new AT&T family plan.
55. “Call It What You Want,” Reputation (2017): Many of the Reputationsingles aim at sexy; this airy slow jam about losing yourself in love after a scandal is the only one that gets there, though the saltiness in the verses (“all the liars are calling me one”) occasionally betrays the sentiment.
54. “Ours,” Speak Now: Deluxe Edition (2010): It’s not this song’s fault that the extended version of Speak Now has songs called both “Mine” and “Ours,” and while “Ours” is good … well, it’s no “Mine.” Still, even if this song never rises above cuteness, it is incredibly cute. I think Dad’ll get over the tattoos.
53. “The Best Day,” Fearless (2008): Swift’s parents moved the family to Tennessee so she could follow her musical dreams, and she paid them back with this tender tribute. Mom gets the verses while Dad is relegated to the middle eight — even in song, the Mother’s Day–Father’s Day disparity holds up.
52. “Everything Has Changed,” Red (2012): “We good to go?” For many American listeners, this was the first introduction to a redheaded crooner named Ed Sheeran. It’s a sweet duet and Sheeran’s got a roughness that goes well with Swift’s cleaner vocals, but the harmonies are a bit bland.
51. “Today Was a Fairytale,” Valentine’s Day soundtrack (2010): How much of a roll was Swift on during the Fearless era? This song didn’t make the album, and sat in the vault for a year until Swift signed on for a small role in a Garry Marshall rom-com and offered it up for the soundtrack. Despite the extravagant title, the date described here is charmingly low-key: The dude wears a T-shirt, and his grand gestures are showing up on time and being nice.
50. “Last Kiss,” Speak Now (2010): A good-bye waltz with an understated arrangement that suits the starkness of the lyrics.
49. “You Are in Love,” 1989: Deluxe Edition (2014): The best of Swift’s songs idealizing someone else’s love story (see “Starlight” and “Mary’s Song”), this bonus track sketches Jack Antonoff and Lena Dunham’s relationship in flashes of moments. The production and vocals are appropriately restrained — sometimes, simplicity works.
48. “The Story of Us,” Speak Now (2010): The deluxe edition of Speak Now features both U.S. and international versions of some of the singles, which gives you a sense of how fine-tuned Swift’s operation was by this point. My ears can’t quite hear the difference between the two versions of this exuberant breakup jam, but I suspect the U.S. mix contains some sort of ultrasonic frequencies designed to … sorry, I’ve already said too much.
47. “Clean,” 1989 (2014): Co-written with Imogen Heap, who contributes backup vocals. This is 1989’s big end-of-album-catharsis song, and the water imagery of the lyrics goes well with the drip-drip-drip production. I’d be curious to hear a version where Heap sings lead; the minimalist sound might be better suited for her voice, which has a little more texture.
46. “Getaway Car,” Reputation (2017): Another very Antonoff-y track, but I’m not mad at it. We start with a vocoder she must have stolen from Imogen Heap and end with one of Swift’s most rocking outros, and in between we even get a rare key change.
45. “I Almost Do,” Red (2012): The kind of plaintive breakup song Swift could write in her sleep at this point in her career, with standout guitar work and impressive vulnerability in both lyrics and performance.
44. “Long Live (We Will Be Remembered),” Speak Now (2010):Ostensibly written about Swift’s experiences touring with her band, but universal enough that it’s been taken as a graduation song by pretty much everyone else. Turns out, adolescent self-mythologizing is the same no matter where you are — no surprise that Swift could pull it off despite leaving school after sophomore year.
43. “The Moment I Knew,” Red: Deluxe Edition (2012): An epic account of being stood up that makes a terrible birthday party seem like something approximating the Fall of Troy. If you’re the type of person who stays up at night remembering every inconsiderate thing you’ve ever done, the level of excruciating detail here is like a needle to the heart.
42. “Jump Then Fall,” Fearless: Platinum Edition (2006): An effervescent banjo-driven love song. I get a silly kick out of the gag in the chorus, when Swift’s voice leaps to the top of her register every time she says “jump.”
41. “Never Grow Up,” Speak Now (2010): Swift’s songs where she’s romanticizing childhood come off better than the ones where she’s romanticizing old age. (Possibly because she’s been a child before.) This one is so well-observed and wistful about the idea of children aging that you’d swear she was secretly a 39-year-old mom.
40. “Should’ve Said No,” Taylor Swift (2006): Written in a rush of emotion near the end of recording for the debut, what this early single lacks in nuance it makes up for in backbone. I appreciate the way the end of each verse holds out hope for the cheating ex — “given ooonnne chaaance, it was a moment of weeaaknesssss” — before the chorus slams the door in the dumb lunk’s face.
39. “Back to December,” Speak Now (2010): At the time, this one was billed as a big step for Swift: the first song where she’s the bad guy! Now that the novelty has worn off “Back to December” doesn’t feel so groundbreaking, but it does show her evolving sensitivity. The key to a good apology has always been sincerity, and whatever faults Swift may have, a lack of sincerity has never been one of them.
38. “Holy Ground,” Red (2012): This chugging rocker nails the feeling of reconnecting with an ex and romanticizing the times you shared, and it livens up the back half of Red a bit. Probably ranked too high, but this is my list and I’ll do what I want.
37. “Enchanted,” Speak Now (2010): Originally the title track for Swift’s third album until her label told her, more or less, to cut it with the fairy-tale stuff. It’s a glittery ode to a meet-cute that probably didn’t need to be six minutes long, but at least the extended length gives us extra time to soak up the heavenly coda, with its multi-tracked “Please don’t be in love in with someone else.”
36. “I Know Places,” 1989 (2014): No attempts of universality here — this trip-hop song about trying to find a place to make out when you’re a massive celebrity is only relatable to a couple dozen people. No matter. As a slice of gothic pop-star paranoia, it gives a much-needed bit of edge to 1989. Bumped up a couple of spots for the line about vultures, which I can only assume is a shout-out.
35. “Treacherous,” Red (2012): Swift has rarely been so tactile as on this intimate ballad, seemingly constructed entirely out of sighs.
34. “Dress,” Reputation (2017): An appropriately slinky track that gives us an unexpected payoff for years of lyrics about party dresses: “I only bought this dress so you could take it off,” she says in the chorus. The way the whole song starts and stops is an obvious trick, but I like it.
33. “Speak Now,” Speak Now (2010): The rest of the band plays it so straight that it might take a second listen to realize that this song is, frankly, bonkers. First, Swift sneaks into a wedding to find a bridezilla, “wearing a gown shaped like a pastry,” snarling at the bridesmaids. Then it turns out she’s been uninvited — oops — so she decides to hide in the curtains. Finally, at a pivotal moment she stands up in front of everyone and protests the impending union. Luckily the guy is cool with it, so we get a happy ending! All this nonsense undercuts the admittedly charming chorus, but it’s hard not to smile at the unabashed silliness.
32. “22,” Red (2012): Another collaboration with Martin and Shellback, another absurdly catchy single. Still, there’s enough personality in the machine for this to still feel like a Taylor song, for better (“breakfast at midnight” being the epitome of adult freedom) and for worse (the obsession with “cool kids”). Mostly for better.
31. “Christmases When You Were Mine,” The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection (2007): The clear standout of Swift’s Christmas album, with an endearingly winsome riff and lyrics that paint a poignant picture of yuletide heartbreak. If you’ve ever been alone on Christmas, this is your song.
30. “White Horse,” Fearless (2008): You’d never call Swift a genre deconstructionist, but her best work digs deeper into romantic tropes than she gets credit for. In just her second album, she and Rose gave us this clear-eyed look at the emptiness of symbolic gestures, allegedly finished in a mere 45 minutes. Almost left off the album, but saved thanks to Shonda Rhimes.
29. “I Knew You Were Trouble,” Red (2012): The guiding principle on much of Red seems to have been to throw absolutely every idea a person could think of into a song and see what worked. Here, we go from Kelly Clarkson verses to a roller-coaster chorus to a dubstep breakdown that dates the song as surely as radiocarbon — then back again. It shouldn’t hang together, but the gutsy vocals and vivid lyrics keep the track from going off the rails.
28. “Teardrops on My Guitar,” Taylor Swift (2006): An evocative portrait of high-school heartbreak, equal parts mundane — no adult songwriter would have named the crush “Drew” — and melodramatic. It’s also the best example of Swift and Rose’s early songwriting cheat code, when they switch the words of the chorus around at the end of the song. “It just makes the listener feel like the writer and the artist care about the song,” Rose told Billboard. “That they’re like, “Okay, you’ve heard it, but wait a minute — ’cause I want you know that this really affected me, I’m gonna dig the knife in just a little bit deeper.’” (In a fitting twist, “Teardrops” ended up inspiring a moment that could have come straight out of a Taylor Swift song, when the real Drew showed up outside her house one night. “I hadn’t talked to him in two-and-a-half years,” she told the Washington Post. “He was like: ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ And I’m like: ‘Wow, you’re late? Good to see you?’”)
27. “Begin Again,” Red (2012): Swift’s sequencing genius strikes again: After the emotional roller coaster of Red, this gentle ballad plays like a cleansing shower. (It works so well she’d repeat the trick on 1989, slightly more obviously.) Of all Swift’s date songs, this one feels the most true to life; anyone who’s ever been on a good first date can recall the precise moment their nervousness melted into relief.
26. “New Year’s Day,” Reputation (2017): Like a prestige cable drama, Swift likes to use her final track as a kind of quiet summing-up of all that’s come before. Here, she saves the album’s most convincing love song for last: “I want your midnights / but I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day” is a great way to describe a healthy relationship. The lovely back-and-forth vocals in the outro help break the tie with “Begin Again.”
25. “Shake It Off,” 1989 (2014): Swift’s second No. 1 was greeted with widespread critical sighs: After the heights of Red, why was she serving up cotton-candy fluff about dancing your way past the haters? (Never mind that Red had its own sugary singles.) Now that we’ve all gotten some distance, the purpose of “Shake It Off” is clear: This is a wedding song, empty-headed fun designed to get both Grandma and Lil Jayden on the dance floor. Docked ten or so spots for the spoken-word bridge and cheerleader breakdown, which might be the worst 24 seconds of the entire album.
24. “Safe and Sound,” The Hunger Games: Songs From District 12 and Beyond (2012): Swift’s collaboration with folk duo the Civil Wars is her best soundtrack cut by a country mile. Freed from the constraints of her usual mode, her vocals paint in corners you didn’t think she could reach, especially when she tries out a high-pitched vibrato that blends beautifully with Joy Williams and John Paul White’s hushed harmonies. Swift has worked in a variety of emotional palettes in her career, but this is the only time she’s ever been spooky.
23. “Picture to Burn,” Taylor Swift (2006): Swift’s breakup songs rarely get more acidic than they do in this country hit. By the time she’s twanging a line about dating all her ex’s friends, things have gotten downright rowdy. The original lyrics — “Go and tell your friends that I’m obsessive and crazy / That’s fine, I’ll tell mine you’re gay” — show how far standards for acceptable speech in nice young people have shifted in the past decade.
22. “Fearless,” Fearless (2008): The title track from Swift’s second album has more of her favorite images — in one memorable twofer, she’s dancing in the rain while wearing her best dress — but she invests them with so much emotion that you’d swear she was using them for the first time. The exuberance of the lyrics is matched in the way she tumbles from line to line into the chorus.
21. “Tim McGraw,” Taylor Swift (2006): If you by chance ever happen to meet Taylor Swift, there is one thing you should know: Do not, under any circumstances, call her “calculating.” “Am I shooting from the hip?” she once asked GQ when confronted with the word. “Would any of this have happened if I was? … You can be accidentally successful for three or four years. Accidents happen. But careers take hard work.” However, since the title of her first single apparently came from label head Scott Borchetta — “I told Taylor, ‘They won’t immediately remember your name, they’ll say who’s this young girl with this song about Tim McGraw?’” — I think we’re allowed to break out the c-word: Calling it “Tim McGraw” was the first genius calculation in a career that would turn out to be full of them. Still, there would have been no getting anywhere with it if the song weren’t good. Even as a teenager, Swift was savvy enough to know that country fans love nothing more than listening to songs about listening to country music. And the very first line marks her as more of a skeptic than you might expect: “He said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia pines to shame that night / I said, ‘That’s a lie.’”
20. “Dear John,” Speak Now (2010): “I’ve never named names,” Swift once told GQ. “The fact that I’ve never confirmed who those songs are about makes me feel like there is still one card I’m holding.” That may technically be true, but she came pretty dang close with this seven-minute epic. (John Mayer said he felt “humiliated” by the song, after which Swift told Glamour it was “presumptuous” of him to think that the song his ex wrote, that used his first name, was about him.) She sings the hell out of it, but when it comes to songs where Swift systematically outlines all the ways in which an older male celebrity is an inadequate partner, I think I prefer “All Too Well,” which is less wallow-y. I’ve seen it speculated that the guitar noodling on this track is meant as a parody of Mayer’s own late-’00s output, which if true would be deliciously petty.
19. “Red,” Red (2012): Re-eh-eh-ed, re-eh-eh-ed. Red’s title track sees the album’s maximalist style in full effect — who in their right mind would put Auto-Tune and banjos on the same track? But somehow, the overstuffing works here; it’s the audio equivalent of the lyrics’ synesthesia.
18. “I Did Something Bad,” Reputation (2017): It’s too bad Rihanna already has an album called Unapologetic, because that would have been a perfect title for Reputation, or maybe just this jubilant “Blank Space” sequel. Why the hell she didn’t release this one instead of “Look What You Made Me Do,” I’ll never know — not only does “Something Bad” sell the lack of remorse much better, it bangs harder than any other song on pop radio this summer except “Bodak Yellow.” Is that a raga chant? Are those fucking gunshots? Docked a spot or two for “They’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one,” which doth protest too much, but bumped up just as much for Swift’s first on-the-record “shit.”
17. “Forever & Always,” Fearless (2008): This blistering breakup song was the one that solidified Swift’s image as the pop star you dump at your own peril. (The boys in the debut were just Nashville randos; this one was about a Jonas Brother, back when that really meant something.) Obligatory fiddles aside, the original version is just about a perfect piece of pop-rock — dig how the guitars drop out at a pivotal moment — though the extended edition of Fearless also contains a piano version if you feel like having your guts ripped out. I have no idea what the lines about “rain in your bedroom” mean, but like the best lyrics, they make sense on an instinctual level. And to top it off, the track marks the introduction of Swift’s colloquial style — “Where is this GOoO-ING?” — that would serve her so well in the years to come.
16. “Mean,” Speak Now (2010): It takes some chutzpah to put a song complaining about mean people on the same album as “Better Than Revenge,” but lack of chutzpah has never been Swift’s problem. Get past that and you’ll find one of Swift’s most naturally appealing melodies and the joyful catharsis that comes with giving a bully what’s coming to them. (Some listeners have interpreted the “big enough so you can’t hit me” line to mean the song’s about abuse, but I’ve always read it as a figure of speech, as in “hit piece.”)
15. “Wildest Dreams,” 1989 (2014): Swift is in full control of her instrument here, with so much yearning in her voice that you’d swear every breath was about to be her last. For a singer often slammed as being sexless, those sighs in the chorus tell us everything we need to know. Bumped up a few spots for the invigorating double-time bridge, the best on 1989.
14. “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” Reputation (2017): Put aside the title, which can’t help but remind me of the time Hillary Clinton tweeted “delete your account.” The same way “I Did Something Bad” is the best possible version of “Look What You Made Me Do,” this is a much better rewrite of “Bad Blood.” Swift brings back the school-yard voice in the chorus, but also so much more: She does exaggerated politeness in the bridge, she spins the “Runaway” toast, she says the words “Therein lies the issue” like she’s been listening to Hamilton. The high point comes when she contemplates forgiving a hater, then bursts into an incredulous guffaw. Reader, I laughed out loud.
13. “Style,” 1989 (2014): The much-ballyhooed ’80s sound on 1989 often turned out to just mean Swift was using more synths than usual, but she nailed the vibe on this slinky single, which could have soundtracked a particularly romantic episode of Miami Vice. Despite the dress-up games in the chorus, this is one of the rare Swift love songs to feel truly adult: Both she and the guy have been down this road too many times to bullshit anymore. That road imagery is haunted by the prospect of death lurking around every hairpin turn — what’s sex without a little danger?
12. “Hey Stephen,” Fearless (2008): Who knew so many words rhymed with Stephen? They all come so naturally here. Swift is in the zone as a writer, performer, and producer on this winning deep cut, which gives us some wonderful sideways rhymes (“look like an angel” goes with “kiss you in the rain, so”), a trusty Hammond organ in the background, and a bunch of endearing little ad-libs, to say nothing of the kicker: “All those other girls, well they’re beautiful / But would they write a song for you?” For once, the mid-song laugh is entirely appropriate.
11. “Out of the Woods,” 1989 (2014): Like Max Martin, Antonoff’s influence as a collaborator has not been wholly positive: His penchant for big anthemic sounds can drown out the subtlety of Swift, and he’s been at the controls for some of her biggest misfires. But boy, does his Jack Antonoff thing work here, bringing a whole forest of drums to support Swift’s rapid-fire string of memories. The song’s bridge was apparently inspired by a snowmobile accident Swift was in with Harry Styles, an incident that never made the tabloids despite what seemed like round-the-clock coverage of the couple — a subtler reminder of the limits of media narratives than anything on Reputation.
10. “Love Story,” Fearless (2008): Full disclosure: This was the first Taylor Swift song I ever heard. (It was a freezing day in early 2009; I was buying shoes; basically, the situation was the total antithesis of anything that’s ever happened in a Taylor Swift song.) I didn’t like it at first. Who’s this girl singing about Romeo and Juliet, and doesn’t she know they die in the end?What I would soon learn was: not here they don’t, as Swift employs a key change so powerful it literally rewrites Shakespeare. The jury’s still out on the question of if she’s ever read the play, but she definitely hasn’t read The Scarlet Letter.
9. “State of Grace,” Red (2012): Swift’s songs are always full of interesting little nuggets you don’t notice until your 11th listen or so — a lyrical twist, maybe, or an unconventional drum fill — but most of them are fundamentally meant to be heard on the radio, which demands a certain type of songwriting and a certain type of sound. What a surprise it was, then, that Red opened with this big, expansive rock track, which sent dozens of Joshua Tree fans searching for their nearest pair of headphones. Another surprise: that she never tried to sound like this again. Having proven she could nail it on her first try, Swift set out to find other giants to slay.
8. “Ronan,” non-album digital single (2012): A collage of lines pulled from the blog of Maya Thompson, whose 3-year-old son had died of cancer, this charity single sees Swift turn herself into an effective conduit for the other woman’s grief. (Thompson gets a co-writing credit.) One of the most empathetic songs in Swift’s catalogue, as well as her most reliable tearjerker.
7. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” Red (2012): Flash back to 2012. Carly Rae Jepsen had a No. 1 hit. Freaking Gotye had a No. 1 hit. LMFAO had two. And yet Swift, arguably the biggest pop star in the country, had never had a No. 1 hit. (“You Belong With Me” and “Today Was a Fairytale” had both peaked at No. 2.) And so she called up Swedish pop cyborg Max Martin, the man who makes hits as regularly as you and I forget our car keys. The first song they wrote together is still their masterpiece, though it feels wrong to say that “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” was written; better to say that it was designed, as Swift and Martin turn almost every single second of the song’s 3:12 run time into a hook. Think of that guitar loop, the snippets of millennial-speak in the margins (“cuz like”), those spiraling “ooh”s, the spoken-word bit that could have been overheard at any brunch in America, and towering over it all, that gigantic “we.” Like all hyper-efficient products it feels like a visitor from some cold algorithmic future: The sense of joy here is so perfectly engineered that you get the sense it did not come entirely from human hands.
6. “Our Song,” Taylor Swift (2006): Swift wrote this one for her ninth-grade talent show, and I have a lovely time imagining all the other competitors getting the disappointment of their lives once they realized what they were up against. (“But nice job with that Green Day cover, Andy.”) Even at this early stage Swift had a knack for matching her biggest melodic hooks to sentences that would make them soar; that “’cause it’s late and your mama don’t know” is absolutely ecstatic. She’s said she heard the entire production in her head while writing, and on the record Nathan Chapman brings out all the tricks in the Nashville handbook, and even some that aren’t, like the compressed hip-hop drums in the final refrain.
5. “Mine,” Speak Now (2010): As catchy as her Max Martin songs, but with more of a soul, “Mine” wins a narrow victory over “Our Song” on account of having a better bridge. This one’s another fantasy, and you can kind of tell, but who cares — Paul McCartney didn’t really fall in love with a meter maid, either. Swift packs in so many captivating turns of phrase here, and she does it so naturally: It’s hard to believe no one else got to “you are the best thing that’s ever been mine” before her, and the line about “a careless man’s careful daughter” is so perfect that you instantly know everything about the guy. Let’s give a special shout-out to Nathan Chapman again: His backup vocals are the secret weapon of Speak Now, and they’re at their very best here.
4. “Blank Space,” 1989 (2014): You know how almost every other song that’s even a little bit like “Blank Space” ranks very low on this list? Yeah, that’s how hard a trick Swift pulls off on this 1989 single, which manages to satirize her man-eater image while also demonstrating exactly what makes that image so appealing. The gag takes a perfectly tuned barometer for tone: “Look What You Made Me Do” collapsed under the weight of its own self-obsession; “Better Than Revenge” didn’t quite get the right amount of humor in. But Swift’s long history of code-switching works wonders for her here, as she gives each line just the right spin — enough irony for us to get the jokes, enough sincerity that we’ll all sing along anyway. Martin and Shellback bring their usual bells and whistles, but they leave enough empty space in the mix for the words to ring out. Who wouldn’t want to write their name?
3. “Fifteen,” Fearless (2008): For many young people, the real experience of romance is the thinking about it, not the actual doing it. (For an increasing number, the thinking about it is all they’re doing.) Swift gets this almost instinctively, and never more than on this early ballad about her freshman year of high school, which plays like a gentle memoir. Listen to how the emotional high point of the second verse is not something that happens, but her reaction to it: “He’s got a car and you feel like flyyying.” She knows that the real thing is awkward, occasionally unpleasant, and almost guaranteed to disappoint you — the first sentence she wrote for this one was “Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind / We both cried,” a line that became exhibit B in the case of Taylor Swift v. Feminism — and she knows how fantasies can sustain you when nothing else will. “In your life you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team / but I didn’t know it at 15,” she sings, even though she’s only 18 herself. That there are plenty of people who spent their teenage years making out, smoking cigarettes, and reading Anaïs Nin doesn’t negate the fact that, for a lot of us squares, even the prospect of holding someone else’s hand could get us through an entire semester. Virgins need love songs, too.
2. “All Too Well,” Red (2012): It’s no wonder that music writers love this one: This is Swift at her most literary, with a string of impeccably observed details that could have come out of a New Yorker short story. “All Too Well” was the first song Swift wrote for Red; she hadn’t worked with Liz Rose since Fearless, but she called up her old collaborator to help her make sense of her jumble of memories from a relationship recently exploded. “She had a story and she wanted to say something specific. She had a lot of information,” Rose told Rolling Stone later. “I just let her go.” The original version featured something like eight verses; together the two women edited it down to a more manageable three, while still retaining its propulsive momentum. The finished song is a kaleidoscopic swirl of images — baby pictures at his parents’ house, “nights where you made me your own,” a scarf left in a drawer — always coming back to the insistence that these things happened, and they mattered: “I was there, I remember it all too well.” The words are so strong that the band mostly plays support; they don’t need anything flashier than a 4/4 thump and a big crescendo for each chorus. There are few moments on Red better than the one where Swift jumps into her upper register to deliver the knockout blow in the bridge. Just like the scarf, you can’t get rid of this song.
1. “You Belong With Me,” Fearless (2008): Swift was hanging out with a male friend one day when he took a call from his girlfriend. “He was completely on the defensive saying, ‘No, baby … I had to get off the phone really quickly … I tried to call you right back … Of course I love you. More than anything! Baby, I’m so sorry,’” she recalled. “She was just yelling at him! I felt so bad for him at that moment.” Out of that feeling, a classic was born. Swift had written great songs drawn from life before, but here she gave us a story of high school at its most archetypal: A sensitive underdog facing off with some prissy hot chick, in a battle to see which one of them really got a cute boy’s jokes. (Swift would play both women in the video; she had enough self-awareness to know that most outcasts are not tall, willowy blonde girls.) Rose says the song “just flowed out of” Swift, and you can feel that rush of inspiration in the way the lines bleed into each other, but there’s some subtle songcraft at work, too: Besides the lyrical switcheroos about who wears what, we also only get half the chorus the first go-round, just to save one more wallop for later. The line about short skirts and T-shirts will likely be mentioned in Swift’s obituary one day, and I think it’s key to the song’s, and by extension Swift’s, appeal: In my high school, even the most popular kids wore T-shirts.
Vulture
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College!RFA (MC/Reader x Everyone)
Prompt: “My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick, make out with me!” Just for fun—what would happen if the MC did this the first time she met the members of the RFA (plus V/Saeran/Rika and a certain guest star who doesn’t want to be here)? College!AU. Content warning: Saeran’s is slightly suggestive.
Yoosung fights the immediate urge to panic. Girl, his mind blares, his body on red alert. Female human, female human. A gorgeous female human, right there in front of him, asking to kiss him. He doesn’t know how to kiss a girl. He doesn’t even know how to talk to a girl. But. You’re standing there, looking pleadingly up at him, and—well, darn it all. He yanks you close—oops, a bit too hard, sorry—and blushes as you stumble into his chest. Before he can lose his courage, he swoops in, and—just about breaks your front teeth from the force of your mouths smashing together. It takes a while to calm him down, assuring him that you’re fine and waving away his frantic apologies, and by the end you’re giggling helplessly at how adorably flustered he is. Maybe we can try that again? you suggest, any thoughts of your ex fading from your mind as you smile at how quickly Yoosung nods. He leans down towards you, holding you gently. And this time, it’s perfect.
Zen can hardly believe his luck. He’d been eyeing you the whole night, hoping you’d look his way and posing dramatically by the bar just in case you did. He knows he looks beautiful tonight (even more beautiful than usual, anyway), and he thanks all his lucky skin care routines when you suddenly come rushing over to him, whispering about some ex and asking him to kiss you. I’ll kiss you, he says, smiling, in exchange for one thing. You look up at him, wide-eyed and beseeching. Yes, you say, what is it? Zen grins, and leans down. Another kiss. His grin widens at the way you blush, and he pulls you in. He kisses you. Again. And again. And again. By the time he’s done, your ex is long forgotten.
Jumin is wary at first, thinking you must be like one of the women constantly circling his father, here for his money or status or some position in the company. But then he notices your ex prowling a few feet away from you, his eyes dark and predatory, and Jumin feels a sudden flare of protectiveness he’s never felt for anyone except Elizabeth the 3rd before. Jumin looks back at you, loosening his tie as he considers the way you bite your lip and look imploringly up at him. The goal is to make him jealous, right? he says to you. To show him that you’ve moved on to someone else? You nod, and then Jumin smirks in a way that shoots tingles down your spine. He leans down, his lips brushing against your ear. Let’s show him, then. That he doesn’t matter anymore. And you do show him, kissing Jumin until your lips are swollen and your breath is unsteady and your ex is long gone.
Seven grins and makes some stupid joke that you can barely even hear over the pounding bass of the music. So he repeats the joke, louder this time, when you take another step towards him. You ask him to kiss you again, and in response he fires off another joke. And another. And another. It takes several really bad jokes and outdated memes before you realize that his ears are bright red, and that you’ve all but backed him up into the wall. You’ve all but forgotten your initial goal, your ex pushed to the back of your mind as you focus on this ridiculous embarrassed goofball of a boy in front of you. He’s still grinning a little nervously, opening his mouth to undoubtedly crack another bad joke, when you grab him by the collar and yank him down. By the time you’re done, his face is as red as his hair, and his mouth is hanging open, speechless. But then he says, Well, that was nice—want a kiss from me this time? You nod eagerly—only to watch as Seven pulls a Hershey kiss from his pocket and grins like a madman (who carries chocolate in their jackets, like why?), and you groan before pulling him down for another actual kiss to shut him up.
Jaehee never even wanted to come to this party. She’s tired, and stressed, and has three papers that she hasn’t started on top of the internship application she has to submit—and now there’s this girl in front of her that she doesn’t know, talking about some ex she has and asking Jaehee to kiss her. In any other set of circumstances, Jaehee never would’ve kissed someone she didn’t even know. But now, she snaps—she’s stressed, and upset, and if can’t watch Zen DVDs at home then she’ll at least kiss this gorgeous stranger, darn it! It’s all very quick and overwhelming but nice, and by the time she pulls away you’re both panting. She goes scarlet, slowly regaining her senses, but you’re smiling like a fool and so very lovely. And when you pull her in for another kiss, Jaehee thinks that maybe the endless stress that is her life can be good for something, after all.
V is confused and embarrassed at first, lowering his camera (he brings that thing everywhere okay he’s a sensitive soul) as you come bounding over to him. But once he understands, he shakes his head very gently and tells you that kissing him won’t make you feel any better about your ex. You stare at him, baffled, as he sits you down on the couch and starts making complex metaphors and analogies involving the sun and a bunch of other celestial beings in an effort to get you to value and cherish yourself more. You don’t know in what universe there would exist a college boy who would rather talk to a girl about philosophy and art than have a free chance at making out with her, but one things for sure: this boy is precious, and must be protected.
Rika is sympathetic to your situation immediately. She knows a little bit about jealousy, about heartbreak, about false love and exes and the need to pretend that you’re doing just fine, thank you. She’s a little less sympathetic to the fact that you’re pawing at her, drunkenly begging to kiss her, but, well. You are a pretty thing, and she is coming out of a recent breakup herself. So. She wraps her arms around you and draws you close, and can’t help but smile when you blush at her sudden proximity. You’re surprisingly warm, your skin pleasantly heated against hers, and she feels herself curling into you almost reflexively. And, when she feels the softness of your lips against hers, your warmth radiates into her, stirring up a fluttering heat deep inside her chest. Oh, she thinks. And she pulls you closer.
Saeran is expecting you when you come running up to him. He’s been watching you the whole night, after all. He knows about your ex, too—some greasy sleaze who’s never deserved you, anyway—and Saeran knew as soon as he saw him enter that you would be desperate for a distraction. So he angles himself perfectly so that he’s right in your line of view, and smirks when you come straight to him, just as planned. You barely have the words out of your mouth before Saeran is shoving you up against the wall, lips seeking yours hungrily. If you want to make him mad, he whispers, grinding his knee up against you until you moan. Why stop at kissing? He makes a very good point. You don’t stop at kissing, and by the time Saeran has you pressed against the sheets in the master bedroom at the back of the house, making you gasp and writhe, you’ve forgotten your ex even exists.
Bonus:
Vanderwood doesn’t even know why he’s here. He doesn’t know whose house this is. He doesn’t like parties. He doesn’t even go to college. Dammit, where’s Seven? Vanderwood wanders into the back of the house, opening the door to the master bedroom. He finds someone that looks like Seven (if Seven were chucked headfirst into the clearance rack of Hot Topic) on the bed, straddling a flushed brunette in a tan sweater, lips locked and tongues intertwined. Vanderwood closes the door. He wants to go home. He’s so done.
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retroreaderr · 6 years
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UPDATED PROMPT LIST!!
Hello! Just thought we’d repost this for any new followers! I recently found the old link wasn’t working and I’m too lazy to fix it/bug widow to fix it so here we are! 
HERE is our fandom link! 
Person A is attractive, they know it, you know it, I know it, ask anybody and they’ll agree. They’re used to getting flirty comments and the general “oh geez what I would do to a body like that” and compliments on their conventionally attractive body parts. Person B gives Person A a compliment, but it catches them off guard because it isn’t “hey handsome/sexy” or something of the sort, it’s a genuine compliment on their personality/quirk they have that Person B enjoys. Person A is intrigued.
Person A constantly makes self-deprecating jokes, whilst Person B always responds with a soft “noo that’s not trueee”
Person A and Person B make a pact that if neither of them are married by 30, they will marry each other. Person B turns 30 tomorrow.
Person A and B are bored. They decide to throw things (eggs, pies, messy foods that smash on impact) at people from the top of a building. Person C is the next target, and Person B has a whole dozen of (thing) at the ready.
Person A takes Person B on a camping trip into the woods with a few friends. As they gather round the campfire and tell scary stories, Person A gets scared but doesn’t want to look weak in front of their friends. Person B notices and pretends to be scared so Person A can “make them feel safe” when in reality Person B is lowkey comforting Person A. Bonus points if they aren’t together yet.
Person A is super chill and friendly to everyone, until Person B is insulted/been rude to, then they turn into the Devil. Bonus points if Person A is like, a third of the size of Person B.
Person A and B are riding horses.
Person A and B are wholesomely cuddling 
Person A and B are not so wholesomely cuddling
Person A and B are wholesomely cuddling after a not so wholesome night
Person A: “You have a nice butt” Person B: “Thanks, I got it for my birthday.”
Person A constantly quotes Person B, but super out of context and it makes Person B sound like the horniest bastard. (Ex. A: “Like Person B said earlier, you’ve got to stroke it gently and don’t mind the hair.” B: “I WAS TALKING ABOUT PETTING MY HORSE.”)
Person A and B had a rather heart wrenching breakup months ago. Whilst out one day, Person A sees Person B talking to their friends wearing an article of Person A’s clothing that went missing right before their break up. Person A smiles sadly and let’s Person B keep it.
Person A never gives Person B flowers, instead Person A gives Person B really pretty rocks. When Person B asks why, Person A responds “they’re beautiful, and they last longer.”
Person A, B and C are in a situation where they have to leave all their weapons. Person A drops a pocket knife and a butter knife. But, Person B starts off with taking a few from their sleeves, then from their pockets, and etc. It goes on for sometime and Person A is almost breaking down in laughter while Person C is watching in terror.
Person A and B are in a fight. Person A: “You know what, suck my dick.” Person B: “I have, 10/10 would recommend.” Bonus points if they’re in public.
Person A takes Person B on a romantic date. Instead of eating opposite ends of a pasta noodle and meeting in the middle for a kiss, they use a baguette and have to get through it without laughing because Person B is super hungry and noshing down hardcore on the baguette and Person A is suggestively raising an eyebrow. (Or, Person A didn’t think through how easily you can get filled eating bread and they stop halfway through because they’re stomachs are fuLL)
Person A and Person B are lost and are getting into an argument, thing is Person B really can’t hear Person A well. Person A: “That direction!” Person B: “What erection?”. Bonus points if Person A points towards Person C and Person C quickly looks down to check if they actually do have an erection. Bonus Bonus points if Person C is a girl, but still checks just in case.
Person A is injured, and is only upset about it because it makes cuddling with Person B comfortably difficult.
Person A is a magician and they’re alone with person B and person A is like “I have some spicy stuff for u ; )” and person B gets all excited, but then person A pulls out a jalapeno out of B’s sleeve. Bonus points if Person B is excited by jalapenos.
Person A and Person B are spending the night together for the first time. Person B can’t help from giggling at Person A’s pajamas. Decide why.
Person A being so use to Person B being there that when they’re away they put their arm around the place Person B is normally sat at.
Person A, B, C and D all go out camping.
Person A is having bad stomach pains/cramps and Person B is laying beside them rubbing their tummy to make them feel better.
Person A saving Person B from getting trapped under frozen lake.
Person A and C are traveling. They pick up Person B as a hitchhiker.
She looked fiercely into his eyes, the wind blowing her hair dramatically, and with an air of confidence she said “Fuck that shit”
“So what if I broke my arm, I will fight them.”
Kissed them whilst stealing their wallet
“I’m pretending to be your significant other because you looked really uncomfortable with that stranger at the bar hitting on you”
“The sun hasn’t even come up yet and you’re asking me to do what now?”
“Oh, I promise I’m not staring. I’m just..no don’t leave-!”
“Feel free to admire my beauty"
"If I was fishing for compliments, I certainly wouldn’t be using your pond.”
33%
“Mm. Moist cake."
"WhAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T EAT YOUR MUFFIN?”  
She danced like there was no one watching. But everyone was watching her. And she looked like a dumbass.
“Put. The child. Down."
"Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, bitchy and the beast."
"I’m sorry, miss…um, there’s a um..there’s something in your..oh no."
"Quit harshin’ my mellow, bro.”
I got stuck in a Port-A-Potty and was rescued by a hot stranger
Two frequent dog park goer’s find their dogs have fallen in love. Also one dog knocked the other up and they’ve now got five puppies to deal with.
You’ve come into my bar every-night for the past three years and ordered a water everytime
NoHomoBro
YesHomoBro
“War’s End” Kiss
Awkward kiss
Drunk/sloppy kiss
“Good Morning” kiss
“I almost lost you” kiss
Kiss on the nose/ear/neck/back
Needing to kiss to hide from someone
Surprised kiss
Jealous kiss. Bonus points if its on the neck/not the mouth
Kiss on a dare
Exhausted parents kiss
First kiss
Kiss at dusk/dawn/in a dream
Awkward teenage crush kiss
Returned from “the dead” kiss
“Sneaky” kisses in public places where they lowkey hope to be caught
Against a wall kiss
Snowday kiss
“I PASSED MY EXAM!” kiss
Moving around while kissing and making a mess but not caring because damn they’re good at kissing
Having a bet to see who can go the longest without wanting a kiss. Person A is appearing to hold strong, meanwhile Person B can’t help but notice the way that Person A bites at their lip when focusing and how plump it gets and holy cow they’re going to lose the bet.
“You really… That’s not exactly meant to be eaten.”
“Do you think you could just please go one day without pissing me off?”
“Just this once, okay?”
“You’re really soft.”
“May I have this dance?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”
“I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks.”
“My parents are coming over in 10 minutes, please put your trousers on.”
“This is probably a bad time, but… marry me?”
“Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?”
“I think you might be pregnant.”
“You better have a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
“I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”
“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly it seems quite dangerous.”
“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pick up line.”
Idiot jar au.
“I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
“You got her pregnant! What were you thinking?”
“I was going to kiss him, but then my friend texted me about going to Taco Bell, and, well, there’s this cashier that works there who is way cuter, so I bailed on the rest of the date.”
Coffeeshop AU
Generic Soulmate’s AU
Tattoo of your Soulmate’s name on your wrist AU
You write on your skin it shows up on your soulmate’s skin AU
You keep aging until you meet your soulmate so you can grow old together AU
First words your soulmate ever says to you shows up on your skin on your 18th birthday AU
Everything is black and white until you meet your Soulmate AU
Trans reader
Gay reader
Male reader
Lesbian reader
Bisexual reader
Pansexual reader
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rizzafrancisco · 7 years
Text
‘I’m Embarrassed by My Lengthy Break Up’
Dear Sara: I was single for 10 years before I met my ex, and we were together for two years. Then we had a weird/sad breakup that lasted about a year. We broke up and got back together a bunch of times, so I didn’t tell anyone we broke up until recently. Also, we are still talking and seeing each other occasionally even now.
I had a lot of self-judgment about this, but then a friend pointed out that she knows of a few people who are married but not happy at all. They are really in that same stage of unhappiness but not separated or divorced. These married people often find it hard to separate their lives from each other, because of kids or other issues. And it’s just hard to let go, for some people.
So I realized that “it’s not just me,” that there are probably lots of people in this sort of breakup limbo. It’s really hard to completely let go of someone you once greatly loved. My ex-boyfriend and I didn’t have a big blowout or any kind of horrible breakup. We didn’t cheat on each other, but we were fighting a lot and we realized how incompatible we actually are. Because nothing terrible or dramatic happened, it’s been harder to break up.
I still feel shame and embarrassment for not being able to let go of my boyfriend, even though it is clear that we are not well-suited for each other. I am judging myself as being dysfunctional for not being able to move on. — M
Dear M: It seems to me you’re judging yourself in two different ways. First, you’re judging yourself for ending a not-terrible relationship. As your friend points out, many people slog through difficult relationships for many different reasons; they stay together for the kids, or simply because separating seems harder emotionally and/or financially than staying together.
There’s nothing wrong with that—just as there is nothing wrong with breaking up with someone because you realize you need something more. We all have our own standards for what “making it work” means. Some people have a higher tolerance for certain things—they can live with someone who doesn’t really get them, or they can put up with fighting and bickering. We all know couples who are constantly at each other’s throats but stay together for decades.
That’s the choice they’ve made, and that’s fine. You’ve made a different one, and that’s fine too. No one is better or worse. We’re all just people making the best decisions we can. It’s only because our culture always praises the ones who stay together, whatever the cost to their souls or psyches, that the people who split up feel like they’ve done something wrong.
So first, forgive yourself for the breakup. Give yourself credit for cutting through all that cultural garbage and arriving at the right decision for you. You gave it a sincere try and broke up on civil terms. Not everyone can say that.
The fact that it’s been hard for you to stay completely apart doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It probably means that a lot was right with your relationship, that it had a lot of value and brought many good things into your life. So instead of criticizing yourself for having a hard time letting go, why not honor the fact that there were many positive things that happened between the two of you? Honor the fact that even though your relationship did end, it was still a success in many ways. You spent two years with someone you loved and cared for. The fact that the relationship is ending doesn’t make that love and care any less real.
Instead of viewing this breakup as a failure, try viewing it as a life experience where you learned a lot about yourself and what you need from a romantic relationship. Be glad that you had enough good times to make the parting difficult. Allow these successful parts of your relationship to assure you that there is more to come.
Yours,
Sara
Sara Eckel is a personal coach and the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook. Ask her questions here.
    The post ‘I’m Embarrassed by My Lengthy Break Up’ appeared first on eHarmony Blog.
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Text
‘I’m Embarrassed by My Lengthy Break Up’
Dear Sara: I was single for 10 years before I met my ex, and we were together for two years. Then we had a weird/sad breakup that lasted about a year. We broke up and got back together a bunch of times, so I didn’t tell anyone we broke up until recently. Also, we are still talking and seeing each other occasionally even now.
I had a lot of self-judgment about this, but then a friend pointed out that she knows of a few people who are married but not happy at all. They are really in that same stage of unhappiness but not separated or divorced. These married people often find it hard to separate their lives from each other, because of kids or other issues. And it’s just hard to let go, for some people.
So I realized that “it’s not just me,” that there are probably lots of people in this sort of breakup limbo. It’s really hard to completely let go of someone you once greatly loved. My ex-boyfriend and I didn’t have a big blowout or any kind of horrible breakup. We didn’t cheat on each other, but we were fighting a lot and we realized how incompatible we actually are. Because nothing terrible or dramatic happened, it’s been harder to break up.
I still feel shame and embarrassment for not being able to let go of my boyfriend, even though it is clear that we are not well-suited for each other. I am judging myself as being dysfunctional for not being able to move on. — M
Dear M: It seems to me you’re judging yourself in two different ways. First, you’re judging yourself for ending a not-terrible relationship. As your friend points out, many people slog through difficult relationships for many different reasons; they stay together for the kids, or simply because separating seems harder emotionally and/or financially than staying together.
There’s nothing wrong with that—just as there is nothing wrong with breaking up with someone because you realize you need something more. We all have our own standards for what “making it work” means. Some people have a higher tolerance for certain things—they can live with someone who doesn’t really get them, or they can put up with fighting and bickering. We all know couples who are constantly at each other’s throats but stay together for decades.
That’s the choice they’ve made, and that’s fine. You’ve made a different one, and that’s fine too. No one is better or worse. We’re all just people making the best decisions we can. It’s only because our culture always praises the ones who stay together, whatever the cost to their souls or psyches, that the people who split up feel like they’ve done something wrong.
So first, forgive yourself for the breakup. Give yourself credit for cutting through all that cultural garbage and arriving at the right decision for you. You gave it a sincere try and broke up on civil terms. Not everyone can say that.
The fact that it’s been hard for you to stay completely apart doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It probably means that a lot was right with your relationship, that it had a lot of value and brought many good things into your life. So instead of criticizing yourself for having a hard time letting go, why not honor the fact that there were many positive things that happened between the two of you? Honor the fact that even though your relationship did end, it was still a success in many ways. You spent two years with someone you loved and cared for. The fact that the relationship is ending doesn’t make that love and care any less real.
Instead of viewing this breakup as a failure, try viewing it as a life experience where you learned a lot about yourself and what you need from a romantic relationship. Be glad that you had enough good times to make the parting difficult. Allow these successful parts of your relationship to assure you that there is more to come.
Yours,
Sara
Sara Eckel is a personal coach and the author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. You can get a free bonus chapter of her book at saraeckel.com. You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook. Ask her questions here.
    The post ‘I’m Embarrassed by My Lengthy Break Up’ appeared first on eHarmony Blog.
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