fic where loki takes don up on his offer to have a beer but he drinks a bit too much and it gets very flirty.

sometimes i forget that some of y’all are new to this whole thing

i remember reading pjo in elementary school and hoo in the parking lot of my orthodontist in middle school and watching the movies in a long car ride to ohio on my moms ipad mini

i’m 19 ik im old GOD I KNOW IM OLD DONT REMIND ME

but i’ll be posting my yapology on here and y’all repost saying “hoo spoilers” “pjo spoilers” WHAT SPOILERS

i forget new media means new fans which mean eeny weenies so i apologize if i spoil the entire series for you it’s my job (._.)

all these teeny tinies are growing up on a adaptation that doesn’t suck like how lucky are y’all

it also makes me want to censor myself especially when ppl repost my shit on instagram and they have words fully blocked out bc i curse so much my bad y’all i don’t mean to make life harder for y’all

but i won’t be doing that

anyway this just reminded me bc i have yet to actually watch the tv show bc it stresses me out that it might change my perception of the og series and im a grandma when it comes to change :(

instead i’ll be rereading the series so expect a lot of quotes and dissections of the books :D

Im not ever going to post this publicly bc 1) its not very good and 2) I dont really care to expose myself to annoying angry internet pedophiles (especially since i havent been active in fandom since like, 2016-18 and as an adult i find the way that those communities frame & interact with media deeply insufferable anyway) but in uni i literally wrote a research paper on the potential irl impacts of media that doesn't handle themes like sexual assault, incest, csa, etc with tact. and that's the thing i have never once advocated for NOT exploring those things in writing or art - *i* write about those things, fairly frequently. To be frank, that's why I wrote the paper, because I actually care about the ethics of art and I give half a shit about other potential victims. Which I feel like is the absolute bare minimum for being a half decent artist/writer. I might publish the bibliography at some point if not rewrite it in its entirety bc i feel like the research i did was good even if the paper was not, but this one quote from bell hooks really stuck in my brain regarding the topic:

It's scary to me now, because, particularly in issues around erotica and sexual violence, people want to deny the direct link between representations and how we live our lives. I think that it's possible to embrace the knowledge that there's a direct link between representations and choices we make in our lives that does not make that link absolute, that does not say, "oh, if I look at a movie in which a woman is fucked to death," than I will go out and think I should let myself be fucked to death by any man who wants to fuck me. I think that's an absurd sense of a direct link, but that is not to say, that if I watched enough of those images I might not come away thinking that certain forms of unacceptable male violence in coercion in relationship to my female body are acceptable.

bell hooks, “Bell Hooks: Cultural Criticism & Transformation.” directed by Sut Jhally (1997), documentary film. (Transcript)

ok if you could rewrite hazbin Better. what would you do. also would love to see your interpretation of some of the chars sometime if you want...

remind me to draw my interps later my head n eyes hurt.

id write niffty out. first step. Dont need her

i wouldnt do angel much differently other than make him less self aware and more self conscious. Id make everyone less self aware aside from husk, he seems the type to be overwhelmingly so.

husk id make him, like i said, Verrry self aware but not self conscious, and less outward about his opinions on people. hes spiteful. he will do no more than tend this bar. he cant help but be a little fond of everyone else there w him(with an exception) but most conversations he stays out of and keeps to himself. you never know who might be listening.

id write charlie like more of an adult. she feelsfucking INFURIATINGLY childish in the show. i know Hopeful and Optimistic does nit mean childish but come on. look at how she acts. SHE FOUGHT WITH FIREWORKS when her subjects were genuinely in danger and she could have taken immediate action. id include a scene where the tide of the battle would seem like a lost cause. she realizes theres nowhere else to turn except for violence. nd she fucks shit up bc i BELIEVE shes both an angel and hellspawn..? bc of lucifer..? dont quote me on that tho

id change vaggies name to maggie. like my dogy :). i wouldnt change much abt her other than her reaction to GETTING HWR WINGS BACK?!?!??!?!

alastor. id change everuthing abt him. Id make him quiet when hes angry. he never talks about Himself he somehow always makes it about you and something you dont like about yourself. He likes to listen to prod for any falters in your attitude or speech to possibly use it again later. Very persuasive, deadly so

It might be my American showing then with my confusion about government approved names 😭

As far as I know they only real restrictions we have are no curse word names, and no names with numbers.

Still didn't stop that dumb ass Elon Musk from trying to name his kid Æ A-12. Like fucking imagine that you get a serial number instead of a name. I think he has another child named Techno Mechanicus or some shit like that.

Also, that thing about names like Rayleigeigh and shit? Turns out that comes from the Mormons! It's... Mildly fascinating, in a weird sense. As someone who's not very religious and very scared of cults, I become mildly fascinated by many such religions.

oh yes i heard abt the mormon thing!

also im wondering... could u name two of ur kids the same name w different spelling? bc obviously thats forbidden here and u can only spell 99% of names one way (the ones that have variety are super minor and both forms have to be approved, i think we have stuff like both letícia and leticia). so would it be possible to have an ashley and an ashlee? and an ashleigh? could i have 3 daughters like that? AKFHSKJDH thatd be awesome. anyway yeah every time i see some insane american name im like yknow what, maybe the government Should restrict names /j

but i do understand its wayyy easier to restrict naming traditions in a mostly homogenous country. and i am glad to see that we do allow foreign names to be spelled accurately even here (the bar is in hell i know). and i think if ur an immigrant and ur child is born here (thus is a hungarian citizen by default) u can go and request a name that reflects ur heritage but dont quote me on that. itd be rly sad if that wasnt the case,,

but yeah. basically, hungary and the US are super different so im in no way dissing the naming stuff there, when u have so many different ppl in one place its good not to be super rigid w it i assume. im just poking fun at it bc it gets a little funny sometimes. i poke fun at our own naming stuff too its fine AKJFHSKDJF

i dont have any specific requests but just. Kili. thoughts on Kili.

i have so many thoughts on kili you came to the right person

things i hc abt kili:

-he has a journal he writes in religiously. its all poetry and random thoughts and pressed flowers or other flora he's found that catches his eye. he doodles pretty things in it as well, from crystal caves to the fire of the forge.

-mans is a hopeless romantic. all he wants is an epic beautiful story-for-the-ages whirlwind romance that is fueled by passion and love. and whilst his romances might not always work out the way his 200k fanfic he wrote in his teens did, he never gives them up and relishes each experience. Even bad romances fuel his poetry writing at least. And with his One, when he finally meets them, he does all the simp-worthy romantic shit, from picking bouquets to opening doors.

-drawing from the poetry, kili is incredibly intelligent, at least literature-wise. dont get me wrong, mans is a dumbass and a himbo, but he could talk for hours on end on how the structure of a syllable scheme can make or break a poem. he's very well versed in symbolism and dwarven mythology and lore, and, next to ori, is the best person able to understand and find the deeper meaning in different works, and discuss them thoroughly.

-kili honestly isn't the best in the forges. he does alright, but his skill is comparable to an average human blacksmith. his real talent in metalworking comes to the details. like carving dozens of intricate lines into a single ring, or carving a whole battle scene on the inside of a bracelet. it's a skill he is very proud of, even if he can't even forge a good knife.

-mama's boy. i feel like thorin kind overlooked kili a lot growing up, his focus was on fili, being the heir and all, so kili didn't have a super strong adult male figure in his life. he had his mom, which is arguably better for him. like he'd spend all day helping dis in her shop or at her trade, and just chilling with his amad.

-he knows how to cook. like dis probs taught him, needed at least one son capable of creating edible food (she gave up with fili, who took after thorin in this way), and by god kili learned fast. he knows what he's doing in the kitchen. he is this whole video.

-i also think kili would be the type of dwarf to collect shineys. like crystals and fun rocks and bits of jewelry. he has corvid like tendencies and has pouches and boxes full of his collections.

-mans is deeply insecure. this hc is pretty popular, but like with no beard and being the dwarf version of a tall lanky string bean, he has body image issues. he doesn't have a lot of problems with confidence, like fake it till you make it vibes, but when it comes down to him and his One, he needs validation. he needs to know that he is the prettiest boy. just needs reminding and loving.

-coming from the insecure place, i believe later in life kili has a huge glow up. to quote my dear friend @cutie-cutter, "he's a late bloomer, but by god he blooms". like maybe in his 90s all of a sudden he fills out a lot, some nice body fat over all that muscle, and then starts growing a really nice beard. like it ain't super long but its thick and lush and ideal for braiding. he is the prettiest boy.

-kili is also the ultimate wingman. like when he's younger he doesn't have the looks but he has the game with his words alone. with fili its the opposite, fili's like mr. knightly in the sense of "if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more", he ain't good with all the cute romantic shit. but kili helps him by writing poems and teaching him lines at the small price of taking his dessert for a week.

-(kinda nsfw?) while young and still escorting merchants with fili, i feel like kili def. got himself some fun nights at brothels. like he'd be more than willing to spend all his earnings in one night for some... special treatment. I also hc that kili didn't really get with women a lot when a younger adult, mostly men, bcs mans has daddy issues like you wont believe. the bisexual also probs thinks his chances with women are low anyways, since women in dwarven culture can be picky and usually go for ones with looks, or at least a full beard.

-(nsfwish) also going back to his journal, he also has a hell of a lot of erotic poetry in there. he'll spend stanzas describing sensations and the aesthetics of a particularly steamy night, and if someone catches his eye he could go on and on about them. absolutely no one is allowed to see his journal besides him (thorin found it once and just sighed in disappointment and wishing he had bleach before closing it and never bringing it up), and it is kept out of sight at all times. it would be very interesting for his One to find it though, and all the different scenarios that could play out...

that's all for now, thank you for this ask!! love talking about this bisexual whore of a man.

To return the ask I was unable to answer for you: I'd love to hear your Kingmaker thoughts! Or Wrath, if you'd prefer.

HELP I MISCLICKED BEFORE I WROTE ANYTHING AND HAD TO EDIT THE POST LMFAO anyway im gonna answer for kingmaker only tonight cause i gotta go to bed and i spent too long writing shit out but i might reblog this and add answers for wotr on after work tomorrow lol

Favorite Male Character okay so i could be normal about this. i could. or i could let everyone here know that i mentally put together multiple AUs where esteem got together with dragn after witnessing like three lines of dialogue. yea the smith guy. the one without a portrait even.

BUT if i had to be more normal about it then its gotta be ekun. i just want that guy to be happy and i really enjoy how weirdly well he gets along with esteem. also he's like. the most ruthless good character ive seen in a while which i really find interesting. makes a great minister too. he just has this reassuring presence in your party like hes got your back you dont have to worry. also: dogy :^)

Favorite Female Character

okay so i went into this game assuming kanerah would be my fave and i was like. ready to finally not have to headcanon a romance and shit. and then this bitch named valerie came along. and oh my god she's such a piece of work. so principled. so hypocritical. so abrasive and easy to rile up. she's loyal because she's decided to be loyal. she turns on you for wanting to kill a guy early in act 2 and then turns BACK on him because he hits on her. she doesnt even realise shes gay. ever since she killed fredero because esteem pushed her to do it ive been thinking about it. ive not read the dialogue for her canon straight romance or whatever because honestly i dont care whatever the fuck im doing to her in my head is way more interesting to me. ive done all the stuff for her hellknight ending and im very excited heehee.

Least Favorite Character

kingmaker is interesting in that i had a really poor first impression of a LOT of the companions, but after having gotten to know them, i... honestly dont rlly hate any of them?? there's still a few companions that end up benchwarming for me bc i just like others more, but its really not been like wotr where the party lineup was so polarising for me lmao

WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED JHOD. fuck that guy. i dont even have a particular actually good reason either. i just think his vibes are rancid

Favorite Ship

specifically that moment when hegend drew his weapon and went to attack valerie and the moment combat initiated esteem hit him with the chains of light which was followed by a maximised empowered magma blast from kanerah which one shot him. that felt good

aside from that i kinda wanna see amiri and nilak reconcile at some point??

Favorite Friendship

i like that ekun the complete and utter loner was the person that taught esteem how to actually have friends instead of just manipulating people into appreciating her. i like to think he figured that out by the time his last quest rolled around. they have this kinda silent trust.

Favorite Quote

this was such a good moment to me specifically because of the circumstances of esteem having been chased out of its home because of what it is and then having tartuk tell it that it would never understand?? it was COLD AS ICE telling him that before dealing the killing blow and taking his crown. defining moments tbh

Worst Character Death (if any)

i have a feeling this is yet to come for me 🙃

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

maybe its silly but thee loyalty these two have hehehe

Saddest Moment

TBH another thing i think is yet to come for me.... i know that last act is gonna hit hard

Favorite Location

the swamp witch's hut... i actually really love the old beldame and all the lil storylines going on in that map so so much it rlly helped me solidify a bunch of important things abt esteem's backstory too lol

On mobile so sorry for any errors.

/post/690133362896257024/shitpost-theory-the-grems-staff-dont-want-to

You mention here that coders can be unreliable and while that CAN be true, from my time floating around CS offering coding services, the reasoning usually comes down to one or more of the following:

1. The pay is shit. Artists don’t want to work for peanuts and coders definitely don’t. If it’s a popular species and we happen to be in CS, a MYO or custom might sub for part of the pay, but code is fucking pain in the ass. Expect to pay just as you would expect to pay an artist for a comm. Finding a simp to work for just site currency, customs, etc is gold and you should treat them nicely because they can fuck you over in five seconds by simply leaving you creds for the server and then vanishing.

2. The owner is batshit insane. Some people really do think that code is pressing some magic buttons and poof. Website with ML, quests, inventory, etc. Or they think they own you because they paid 300 bucks…

3. Owners contract out to India or eastern Europe. There are a lot of excellent coders in these countries, but they’re unlikely to work for peanuts and don’t want your MYOs or whatever. Sometimes they take your money and run. If the deal seems too good to be true…

4. The owner is completely short-sighted about ongoing server costs and overall site maintenance. This leads to the site degrading, slow or no updates, etc. Ongoing maintenance costs more money…we might contract out a couple months for “free” but then, to quote a famous video, “fuck you, pay me”.

I’ve never coded for Grems (never would bc Gremble was a bitch to me in the past) but they seem like the kind to check off the entire list, lmao.

I agree that this community is rough sometimes if you arent a bigger account. I think im probably one of the people you would say has an easy time coming up with daydreams or imagines, even though i dont post "imagine your f/o" type things. So maybe i can offer some help with that? My first suggestion is to engage with the source material and get those good lovey feelings- why you fell in love in the first place! And then literally just write that! Dialogue comes easier for me, so i imagine my f/o's or others in their source material saying things to/about me, and how my f/o would react. Ive been selfshipping for 15+ years and ive NEVER "finished" a fic. I just write what feels good! Sometimes its just quotes, sometimes its bullet points, sometimes its a bunch of notes with one line each that end up getting put together. It might not be easy the first or even the tenth time, but i promise it will make you feel better the more you open yourself up to "im just going to write how i feel" rather than "i need to write a fic" or "i need to world build." Youre awful hard on yourself sometimes i think 🥺

-🪼anon

Thank you for the advice

CURRENTLY engaging w the source material has the cevat of my current main source is to rlly hard stuff that has just caused me more frustration cries so hard. Late act 3 my beLOATHED (I could pot the difficulty down but I'm stubborn. This game is lucky I played on balanced and didn't go straight for tactician LMAO)

I should have kept some of my earlier saves so I could go back to like. Meeting Astarion or the hug scene that breaks me or meeting Karlachs parents or Jaheria talking about her losses, but it is so hard to hold onto saves in bg3 u don't rlly get a lot. I GUEEEESS I could watch things on YouTube but then it would not be w Theil :( I should have saved more clips

That last advice is. Really helpful and good though. I've been writing since uuuhh elementary school and I never really let myself just do something lazy and self indulgent that isn't a true "fic" and just some random stupid points. I rarely even leave wips for one shots unfinished (long form is another story but that's why I don't rlly... Do long form anymore. Bc I've realized one shots or 2-3 chapters are what I do best.) I. Don't think it even ever occured to me to just scribble stupid shit down and leave it at that bc everythings gotta be a grand art piece w me ya know. That's actually. Smart to just scribble whatever down w out it being a fic. Thanks.

No Peace Even In Death (REST IN PISS LOSER LMAOOOO)

rage fic. trigger warning for death threats and referenced suicide (and someone gets doxxed here but anyways). also racism and pedophilia/grooming but that's a slightly minor part here ig?????

———

"Ugh...this freak again!" Yamero cursed out loud, looking at her phone screen with intense rage as she grips her phone tightly—too tightly, in fact. Displayed on her phone screen is a post on Rhythm Tweets, it says something along the lines of: "i think ppl should realize that the ppl of the astra kingdom are such whores. they fucking lie and steal and shit. plus, theyre literally astrians?????? like cmon now astrians are disgusting ass bitches lmao".

"Now that's just fucking racist. This bitch has been appearing on my timeline for so many days now, I'm so fucking tired of her!" Yamero lets out a groan. "Not to mention the fact that there was allegations of her grooming a minor once. Ugh, a racist freak and an ugly pedo. Eww...I need to take extra measures."

Quickly, Yamero quote tweets the post, before typing up something that may be too extreme;

"slit your wrists and hang yourself probably lmao"

"Surely a death threat should work. People do that when problematic people come up on their timeline, right? Might as well." Yamero hummed in satisfaction, but the satisfaction didn't last too long, because after a little bit, she then stalked the problematic account, quote tweeting her posts with different death threats.

"kys"

"kill yourself lmao"

"go jump from the highest floor of the building!!!!"

"commit suicide challenge: GOOOOOO!!!!!1!11!1!"

"youre such a freak you should be deaddd"

"go fuck yourself lmao"

"BITCH PPL DONT LIKE YOU BC YOURE A RACIST ABLEIST PEDO FREAK BFFR 💀💀💀💀💀 GO KYS THEY WANT YOU DEAD FRFR LMAOOOOOO"

"who is this clown i want it dead"

"youre not human to me"

"will you pls kys for me?? :3"

And it goes on, and on, and on, and on...

Yamero won't stop at anything until that freak is dead.

———

...And sure enough, the freak in question killed herself a few days later.

Over the few days before her death, Yamero did terrorized her more. Going into her DMs and threatening to doxx her surely would've done the trick. It took Yamero a long time to get her address too, so seeing that it got the bitch so bad to the point she slit her throat and bled to death was certainly satisfying to the girl.

Yamero did all of that on her second account, whereas her main account is for her influencer activities. Needless to say, the famous Yamero's name is safe and sound, still clean and not bloodstained, and the real Yamero's name is the one to take it all for the famous Yamero.

She's the internet angel, after all. She has to execute those who sin!

Even after the girl's death, Yamero still continued to disrupt her. Doxxing her for real, attacking her now abandoned account more and more, and making jokes about her suicide to her mutuals who laugh about it with her.

This is the true nature of the internet, and Yamero is rather content with that.

seeing ur note at aftermath part two had me giggling reiii sorry but tumblr is dogshowing you girl what the actual fuck 🤣🤣 you might need to restart or smthg we don’t want these to happen to ur future works🫡

the first part…us walking up the stairs with that *amazing gown it’s so pretty I’m ngl I can just imagine this whole scene in my head just playing and it has me screamingg like UGH QUEEN. GODDESS. HELL YEA I LOVE THAT FOR US JUST PERIODT

The amount of fluff and love in this chapter is oozingg oml rei this is your fluff era‼️‼️

also, the niki appearance in this chapter?! just what we needed frfr like us getting scared cus ngl I would be hella scared too man but heeled asking niki to set the entire river aflame not because he can’t handle them but because their screams are scaring US

FUCKING HELL YEAH EVERYBODY MAKE WAY HEELEL AND HEETHAN IS THE MFING STANDARD 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ (I’ve said this before but anw hihi)

I absolutely absolutely just adore the scene where we play peekaboo from behind his throne and us sneaking to quickly sneak a gentle kiss on his cheek and heelel loving it?! LAWDDD THAT PART IS OOZING WITH FLUFFY GOODNESS might just be one of my fav scenes in SE7EN

and us finally tearing down our walls and living so happily in hell with him….I mean realena in this story is a lot stronger than me cus the moment heelel takes me I would’ve given everything to him right that fucking second 😌

ALSO THE PART WHERE HE SPEAKS TO HER IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES!!!!!!! I wonder how you chose the diff languages you were gonna include lmao but you’re amazing reina ilysm

And heelel’s speech at the very end…it’s got me in tears this chapter is so so beautiful 🥹🥹🥹

<3!!! my love, i'm so glad you were touched by this chapter bc its gotta be one of my all time faves out of all the series i've drafted. heethan obviously has some really good moments too, you're right, both him and heelel.....everyone make way! lol.

the peekaboo scene was just...i love that scene so much. i also really like it when you guys go over to sit by his feet, in between his legs and rest your head against his kneecap, like i just love that image in my head so much....especially as he's running his fingers through your hair? like lawd....have mercy.

so the languages....my favorite part in the entire series...ngl. i know for sure i have some german and tagalog speakers, i didn't include spanish this time bc....not to spoil...but heethan (in previous chapters) has spoken some spanish, but there's still more scenes that is coming your way where heethan speaks in spanish. so i left those out and am saving it for heethan. for this part, i wanted to show love to my Tagalog and german speakers, also arabic (i'm pretty sure i have two that i can think of if i'm assuming correctly) and i dont think i have any korean speaking readers (if i do yooooo.....you guys got the best quote in my book) but i mainly included the korean one just bc welll.....heeseung is korean lol.. so i just used google translator to translate all of hte quotes and they came out BEAUTIFULLY. i love that he said all those things to you bc he felt that one language didn't have enough words to express his love for you.

but guuuuuuuurlll...wait until MF part 3...you about to lose your shit (in a good way) lol.

i promise this isnt meant as like an accusation or anything (just warning bc shits been so tense) how can you focus on the transphobia in harry potter and not the antisemitism? i would say the new game is far more neonazi propaganda than it is transphobic. id look into what jewish people are saying about it if you havent and let your husband know, too. i dont think you guys are nazis or evil or anything its just good to know what antisemitism looks like since bigots try so hard to make it acceptable

Sorry. I've never gotten an ask before I only just noticed this. Uh. I guess because I have a lot of trans friends the transphobia of JKR was highlighted for me. In the game itself however there are transcharacters and character creation was ambiguous. Which was unexpected but nice.

Watching him play and hearing the antigoblin(antisemitism) was jarring however. I had forgotten the canon perception of goblins as irredeemably evil one note creatures I guess. I've been in the HP fandom community with fanfics and headcanons where goblins are usually given respect and agency and history with fully fleshed out rounded characters and backstories and all of that. So in my HP headcanon goblins are people. Period. Over hearing the racist slant from characters in the game was shocking to me admittedly.

From a writing perspective I get it I guess. Someone has to be the bad guy in the video game and in most fantasy settings goblins are an easy villain to cast. But not in HP where fans have decided HP goblins were modeled after antisemitic stereotypes.

Which I hate btw. Like say you're a writer and you want to write a bad guy. The Bad guy is motivated by money for complex reasons that might not get revealed in the story but you the writer know why. Maybe he grew up poor. Maybe he wants to retire early. Maybe he desperately carves the security having enough money provides. Maybe he's trying to provide for some secret cause he doesn't want anyone to know about. Maybe he's fueling a secret addiction to expensive spa treatment. Whatever. Doesn't matter. While writing what he looked like you used a randomize and got swarthy skin and a big nose. In your, the writer's, head you were thinking hmm pirate? Later you publish your story and are shocked when people start calling you a Nazi because your villain is motivated by money, has swarthy skin and a big nose. Three things you hadn't connected at all. Religion hadn't occurred to you when it came to this character and this is a fantasy setting so hereditary Judaism wouldn't come in to it. Suddenly you've been labeled a Nazi. You might even BE Jewish. How bizarre.

Do you think Jewish actors get denied villainous parts because the casting directors don't want to be accused of antisemitic? And that's not fair to the Jewish actors and so by definition is antisemitic. It's insane.

As for what actual Jewish people said about the game people are divided.

One quote is such: the U.K.’s Campaign Against Antisemitism said in a statement that “the portrayal of the goblins in the Harry Potter series is of a piece with their portrayal in Western literature as a whole” and “is a testament more to centuries of Christendom’s antisemitism than it is to malice by contemporary artists. So it is with JK Rowling, who has proven herself over recent years to be a tireless defender of the Jewish community.”

This comes from this article from the Jewish Telegraphic Agency

I recommend the full article for a more complete viewpoint from a Jewish news source.

HEY HEY CAN YOU DO THE OBEY ME BROTHER REACTING TO TRANS!READER???😋

Brothers with a trans! Boyfriend!

Ft: trans male mc! He/him!!

Part 1! Part 2! (Not made yet!)

CW: needles, cussing, dysphoria, established relationship

Fem aligned Dni

Idk if you mean like what their relationship would be like or coming out to them but I’m gonna write both!! Idk if you wanted trans male or not but I’ll probably make a more Gn!/non-binary post soon that’s similar!! This might be long sobs but ty for the request and I hope you enjoy it!

Older brothers!

Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan

Genre: fluff/comfort

Lucifer:

Coming out to him:

Would be really supportive probably give you a hug and kiss your forehead and just let you cry or just stay in a comfortable silence. Just holds you and tells you how lovely and brave you are for telling him even tho he’d already had figured it out.

“My prince it’s alright, I love you dearly nothing will ever change that”

Helps you adjust and change your name in the records at RAD. Buys you a super expensive binder that’s like the best quality if you don’t own one already. And asks you if you need anything from him to help you feel more comfortable.. also would help pay for your surgeries/ Testosterone if your looking to get it.

Your relationship w him:

Would be honored to help you with taking t shots if you’d let him.. he’d let you hold his hand/shoulder if it hurts

Would lend you his cologne if you don’t own some already…(totally not bc he gloats the fact that you now smell like him and takes pride in it)

Let’s you in his study and sit on his lap or lays you down and holds you with your head on his chest and whispers sweet nothings in your ear if your dysphoria is acting up

If anyone misgenders you consider them dealt with you’ll probably never see them again… bc he said and I quote “it was taken care of”💀

Mammon:

Coming out to him:

sees you sobbing and stuttering to get your words out and Kinda low key freaks out.. not bc your trans but bc he doesn’t know how to react and comfort you well his gears are turning and steam is coming out of his head..

“Baby boy c’mere.. I ain’t really good at this whole comfort thing but.. just know that yer precious to me my treasure I’ll love ya forever okay, The Great Mammon will always be here for ya. Now let’s get ya cleaned up yeah?”

Hugs you and let’s you cry and rant if you need to. You to end up cuddling in one of his shirts while your latched onto each other.

Relationship with him:

Would probably freak out if you asked him to help you with your T shot. Would be to scared he’ll mess up or hurt ya but would end up doing up bc he wants you to feel as comfortable as possible and is a little flustered at the thought that you trust him to help you

Throws all his clothes at you… he’d take you shopping the next day but prefers you wear his clothes bc “I ain’t wasting my precious grim on yer stupid clothes when you can just where mine ya got that!” really just wants to see you in his t shirt gets really possessive and holds you with his face in your neck loves the smell of yours and his mashing together he gets that stupid grin on his face.

Beats the shit out of anyone who misgenders you/bullies you and cussed them out.. you might to to pull him off “STFU YOUR JUST JEALOUS MY BOYFRIEND IS THE HOTTEST MANLIEST MAN IVE EVER SEEN !! YOU DONT EVEN COMPARE TO HIM!.. right MC- Oi?! why ya dragging me off they deserve it?!” He’s a bit much with it but he means well and you know he loves you he’s trying his best- 💀

If you’re comfortable/had top surgery with it he likes to lay his head on your chest and play with your hair (if you’ve had top surgery he likes to kiss your scars if you let him)<3

If your dysphoria is acting up he picks you up and drags you to his room and leaves to make you both ramen and bring snacks bc you’ll now be stuck in his room cuddling and watching movies while he comforts you and smothers you with affection till you forget you were even upset abt your dysphoria in the first place.

Leviathan:

Coming out to them:

Starts shaking but silently wraps you into a hug and puts his face in your hair to calm down and breathes bc he’s scared his words won’t come out right.

“H-hey it’s ok I’m h-here, you’re still my Henry you always w-will be so don’t worry ok? Lets go in my room we can play your favorite game if you w-want I can grab some of your favorite snacks and we can maybe.. I-uh h-hold each other or something IDK ah-!”

You embrace him tighter and smile at him and thank him for being so kind and accepting. He shoves his whole face in the crook of your neck to gif his heating face.

Relationship with them:

Would be super understanding and supportive I head canon him to be trans or at least a Demi boy and I feel like he would relate to wishing you had something somebody else had.

Would be rlly good at helping you if you were having a bad dysphoria day would grab all your favorite snacks and play your favorite anime/ game w you. And he won’t put up any fight if you wanna be super affectionate bc he knows you both love it and you want his comfort rn. Spooning in the bathtub…yes..

Won’t usually play games w you that have limited character options and if so he lets you pick yours first and always opts to letting you play the character you wanna play first before him so you feel comfortable..

Would not! help with your T shots would probably faint if he saw the needle by your body.. he’d be to scared to pierce you with anything and his hands would shake sm but would offer to hold your shirt from behind and hold his hand will you do it if you want he’ll probably bury his face in your hair or neck and doesn’t wanna look either tho..

Literally drowns anyone who misgenders you and gets rlly possessive.. he’d wrap his tail around your waist and hold your body and hiss at them. “He’s my normie boy so you can fuck off”… then proceeds to summon Lotan to drown the bitch who dare insult you.

Also would freak if you ever wore his clothes and would casually let you borrow his after you shower or just need a change of clothes his face would get so red… he’d see you wearing his clothes with it being oversized if you’re smaller with a bit of the shirt hanging off your shoulder and might shriek.. “y-you look hot I-I mean AH! You look nice in my clothes b-but ah don’t get them dirty that’s limited edition ok!” >////<

I’ll make a part two soon!!

More nonsensical entirely random cfv headcanons for each character.

Aichi: He can’t whistle or snap rip. he just cant (me too)

Kai: Wants a cat so bad bro but he can’t afford it. Later as an adult he finally comes across a stray cat eating trash and goes. Ah yes the one. Lives happily ever after change my mind

Misaki: So I took general psychology last year and it was talking abt quote unquote “photographic“ memories and how, yes you can remember everything you encode, but only if you yknow. Make the effort to encode it. ALSO most photographic Memories tend to fade/are done for as you get older so like. I think Misakis might finally start to go away as she gets older and honestly? That’s probably good for her. What a G

Kamui: picks his nose and eats it

Miwa: He’s not actually the “police commissioners son” he just takes advantage of it where he can. Also what the hell was that line abt Kai having friends in high places?? Kai doesn’t even have friends (ep 36)

Ren: His PSYqualia doesn’t actually help him cook he’s just a dumbass with surprising luck. What the hell does he have going on?!??? Most of his skills are just from trial and error and a couple smoke alarms set off.

Asaka: She watches beauty gurus on yt pretty often DONT ask me lmao

Tetsu: He’s rlly sick of Asakas beauty gurus. Also his favorite food is chili dogs don’t ask again

Kyou: So continuing off last time: yes he lives in the al4 dumpster. It’s very homey in there. Wallpaper, couches, flatscreen TV, kitchen, you name it! He’s not sure about the physics of it all, but he’s not complaining. After a long day of trying to get revenge, it’s nice to have a cozy place to come home t-*trash dumps on his head*

Kourin: She was never a child I don’t think, so. She has no childhood pictures or anything. Ppl be asking like “lmao did you do that weird shit as a kid where you-“ no. She hasn’t. She got excited recently finding out what happens when you talk into a fan.

Naoki: He has earbuds in a LOT. Like the only time theyre out is when it’s sole priority so if he doesn’t have them in when talking to you then you are something special. He listens to five finger death punch

Shingo: continuing off last time, yeah he’s a popular twitch streamer. He does video games, but also strange experiments and stuff. Like what will happen if I suck all of this helium? Myth busters but worse

Ibuki: Continuing off last time, yes he is at war with the squirrels. They are menaces to his way of life. He calls Kai and asks to borrow his cat once bc somehow they’re too tricky for him to catch so. kai brings his cat over and his cat um. Doesn’t fuckin care so. ibuki is stuck with the squirrels. Also he is friends with all kinds of Crows they give him shiny stuff. i might have to write a fic abt Ibukis squirrel problems

Morikawa: He grows up and becomes a lawyer DONT ask

Izaki: He is likewise an attorney. DONT ask

hey

i wanna be a proud radical feminist but i feel like that would force me to reject trans ppl and that would essentially make my life hell bc ive seen the shit they do ppl they disagree with

ive read all this shit about how terfs are a hate group and think men bad women good and are racist and colonialist and shit and it makes me think twice bc i don’t wanna be part of a legit hate group but i also dont wanna be part of a group of ppl who say “thats so gender” when they see a haircut they like and i definitely dont want to be part of the right like at all

am i a nazi for believing elliott page is still a woman? am i fucking crazy? like ive been having legit mental breakdowns over this and secretly reading terf groups at night for weeks now and now whenever i see a trans person i freak the fuck out on the inside and sometimes i start hyperventilating and i see them fucking everywhere bc i live on a college campus

i tried to bring it up with my counselor like “i don’t really get trans ppl and i dunno what to do about it” and shes like “me neither” but thats all it has ever been bc im scared im gonna be wrong and bad if i say more

i was a huge fucking hp fan as a kid and my mom gave me a hogwarts mug for christmas and i cant even look at it bc i just think of jkr and what happened to her

pls help me im so sorry for dumping on u

My first question is: what do you mean by proud? Do you envision yourself wearing tshirts with phrases like "The y chromosome is a defect" out in public? Because while such shirts might be funny (and fun to wear among friends), that's not what it is to be a radical feminist. Neither is posting radfem quotes to your public facebook or instagram, or anything else publicly confrontational. Instead, being a proud radical feminist is spending your time helping women. I like volunteering for food pantries/food banks/food rescues. Women and children are the most likely to be food insecure, so helping with food distribution fits well for me. But maybe something else is closer to your heart - like domestic violence shelters, rape crisis hotlines, mentoring female children, etc. Alternatively you could go into a job that helps women, like social work or medicine. Or you could become a foster parent who takes in girls, become a child advocate or doula. None of direct action really requires anything to do with trans anything. The number of trans people you'll run into is relatively small, and you're helping women and girls no matter how they feel (and people deserve to be helped anyway). I don't care if a trans woman comes for a food pantry volunteer position, or to pick up food at a distribution event. I'm not there to decide who is 'worthy' of giving their time or receiving help. And none of that is publicly confrontational like pins, shirts, and social media is. You do have a problem with trans people, clearly, since you're having psychological distress just at seeing someone who is or reads to you as trans. You've got to work on that. You cannot dictate the actions of others. And it's straight unhealthy to freak out at just seeing someone walking around minding their own business on campus. Students trying to get a speaker banned for transphobia is a problem, your dormmate from another floor walking to class is not a problem. You aren't a bad person for recognizing that Page and other trans people remain their biological sex, or believing that trans identity is a harmful backlash against feminism, or that porn is driving a lot of male transition, or that homophobia (for lesbians/bi women) is a driving force of transition. This is just recognizing the immutable fact of biological sex. Feeling bad for this recognition is something to work on - it's tied to women feeling guilt for every little thing. Let go of your guilt. My advice: LOG OFF. Reading radfem posts online is causing you real problems, and making you distressed about random people. Not good. Take a break. Realizing something is harmful for you, or that you have a limit that you've crossed is an important aspect of growing up and coming of age. Part of being mature is realizing what your limits are. And congrats, you've found a limit. You need to spend time reconnecting with the real world. Treat this like a good thing, something you've discovered about yourself that you now know going forward. Working on healing from this internet overload is a sign of maturity. Log off. Second: Do something directly useful that is meaningful to you. Ask other students for volunteer opportunities. Ask your counselor. Google for your area. See if there's an office for volunteering that can help you. This is related to logging off in that it reduces that amount of time you can spend online, and also introduces you to more people in real life. This helps develop nuance in your actions with others. Expands your understanding of where other people are coming from. And hopefully you can make some more friends. Be proud to be a feminist by helping women. Third: This is the hardest thing for many women: let go of your guilt and strengthen your backbone. Don't be afraid to be disliked. You aren't going to be able to please everybody. Enjoy your HP mug and if someone says something snide just say that the books were important to you and still are. Don't apologize for yourself. Don't feel guilt that you aren't living up to someone else's idea of what you should think about something.

And work on not imagining that everyone is watching you and trying to monitor your thoughts. That way lies serious paranoia. If no one says something to you, no one cares. Imagining the anger/disappointment/etc of others towards you is harmful behavior - you can't read minds. When you've healed, you can set boundaries and re-engage with some radical feminist literature. But I'd say give yourself AT LEAST 6 months away. And then really consider if it's going to be healthy for you to return or not. And if you do decide to return, engage not with twitter/tumblr/facebook/instagram, but with actual texts. Read Woman Hating. Read Invisible Women. Read a book about women in your field of interest. Texts that aren't just concerned with trans identity. You would have to build an understanding of radical feminism outside of transness, because no only is radical feminism about far more than trans identity, but without a foundational understanding of where radical feminism is coming from you can more easily once again fall down the rabbit hole into thinking that trans identity is the only thing that matters, etc. Delete your tumblr, your twitter. Lose your login info for your social media. As condescending as it can sound, it's nonetheless good advice: Go outside.

sawdust and plastic | g.t.

summary: you learn two things from your first real fight with goro. 1) he apologizes through cooking. 2) he hates it when they argue.

WARNINGS: spoilers for the gimme danger main job, swearing, slight angst, theye just communicating pairing: goro takemura x fem!street-kid!v word count: 2.2k

a/n: written with a fem!street-kid v who used to be a corpo kid. also dont yell at me but i rearranged v's apartment so the couch goes on all 3 sides bc comfortable :^) crossposted on ao3! enjoy :) 

part of the tales of a two-bit thief series

Sitting down on the couch, you kick up your feet for the first time in what you feel like has been ages. From Jackson Plains to reconnaissance on the Arasaka warehouse, you haven’t eaten shit besides the yakitori Takemura had ordered at that booth which already felt like ages ago. It’d been good—better than the trash you’ve eaten as a kid so you don’t really get picky—but you can’t help but recall the disgust on Takemura’s face when he had taken a single bite.

“Sawdust and plastic.”

You snort, running hands over your face and tilting your head back. Stupid fucking Japanese man with an endearing sense of dry-humour and… zero tolerance for your cheeky smiles. 

Then he had to go ahead and bring up Jack.

His words, cold, callous, echo in your skull like a goddamn radio and you squeeze your eyes tight, raking your hands down your face and melting into the couch. No matter how much you wanna stop it, you can’t help hearing it over and over and over.

Grabbing the remote, you’re about to switch on a channel in hopes you catch something that cna take your mind off everything when there’s a knock on your door.

For a moment, you truly debate telling them to fuck off but then, there is a pause.

“V.”

Eyes widening, your body goes rigid at the sound of his voice.

“V, let me in before I look anymore foolish.”

In the back of your head, you tempt the idea of just leaving him out there, pretending like you’ve fallen asleep, but then you get up anyway against your better judgement. You drag your feet over the floor, picking up old takeout boxes you haven’t had time to clean up and tossing clothes into a hamper to make your apartment look more like an organized mess than the dumpster fire you know Takemura will scold you for.

When you reach the door, you let him in without a word and you note the bags he holds on, hoisting them over to your living room counter.

“What’s this?” you question wearily. “Goro, I’m not hungry.”

“I realized I must apologize for my harsh words.” Beginning to pull out the groceries, you walk over and peer inside the bag, frowning. All the stuff inside is cheap synth shit, nothing you haven’t eaten before, but you’re still confused as to what’s going on since you don’t exactly have a kitchen in your place, but then out of one of the thicker bags, Takemura pulls out a big box.

“For saying them?”

“Yes." He sets the box down before continuing with groceries. “Earlier, I told you if I had time and resources, I would cook onigiri.”

“With cod, or grilled salmon. Or umeboshi plums, because they were Saburo’s favourite,” you finish and he sends you a look that could’ve been a smile if his lips had curved more and his eyes meant it. “I remember.” Helping him with the big box, you cut it open and find a rice cooker within. Eyeing the contraption with an arched eyebrow, you can’t help but ask: “Where’d you find this stuff?”

“It was difficult. I had to lower my standards.” 

“Lowering standards,” you echo dryly, unable to help your empty smile. “Yeah. We do that a lot in grand ole NC.” He doesn’t seem amused by you even trying to help as you sit down on the couch, twist to watch him work. “Are you sure you don’t want me to help?”

“I am cooking to apologize. It would not be honourable for you to help me,” he replies shortly and you nod to yourself, turning back around to watch the news. Nothing about a break-in with the floats, nothing at all indicating… anything.

For some reason, it makes you uneasy. The last time you snuck into an Arasaka building, everything went to shit and it made its mark. The lack of visible ripples makes you feel like nothing’s happened at all. Like it’s all been a fever dream, and you and Takemura didn’t sit on that roof for hours, watching the cat, just… talking.

Jesus, you need to get laid.

“Still don’t know why you bother cooking,” you say. Takemura noticeably stiffens and even though you don’t see it, you can almost feel the way he manipulates the air he stands in. He has that power—pure corpo power—and you clench your jaw. “Why waste time on someone so lazy as me?”

“V—"

“Nah, my bad. Arrogant. Hell, you probably see all the takeout around here and think I’m taking some easy route to food.” The bitterness is enough to puncture holes in steel as you stare blankly at the screen. “After all, I dirty my hands for money,” you quote. Your chest tightens as you hear his voice echo in yours, the way he had said it so coldly. Stomach turning, you shake your head. “Not in the name of some fucking principles.”

There’s a silence on his end and you close your eyes, swallowing through the bruising in your throat, a telltale sign you’re holding back tears. Just the mention of Jackie makes you want to spiral and you take a deep breath, trying not to react.

For the first time, you think Johnny might be right.

“Damn right, I am,” a voice says and you open your eyes, gaze fluttering to the side to see Johnny lounging against your couch. You turn around to see Takemura’s moved to the bathroom, probably to clean rice… however the fuck you make onigiri. You don’t know. You’re too tired to care about food, or feelings, or anything. “Never can trust a corpo. They all want one thing.”

“I don’t need to remind you that I was a corpo kid, do I?”

“Not anymore. It’s about principles.” Johnny’s tone is wry and you scowl at him. “What? If there’s one thing you might be able to relate to is that you both have ‘em. His might be wrong as shit, but…”

“Yeah, whatever.” 

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re gonna forgive him. This guy’s got you wrong, V. You don’t waste time on people like that.”

“I don’t have time to stay angry with him,” you argue. “The fact is, I’m dying and he’s gonna be the only one who can save me.” Johnny sits up straight, leaning on his knees and you sigh, shaking your head. Resting your arm along the back of the couch, you fit your hand to your face, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Fuck.”

“Stop. Don’t do it, V. It’s not worth it,” Johnny warns, standing up and you wrench your gaze up as you shift your feet on the floor and lean forward, burying your face in your hands. “I can feel everything you are feeling, and if I have to deal with your indecisive debates on whether or not it’s worth it to become attached to this corp piece of shit, I’ll kill myself.”

“You’re already dead, Johnny.”

“Let me live a little.” He stands and edges around you as if he were real and you rest your chin in your palms, watching as his holographic imagine crosses you before glitching back into view again across the table. He sits down. “The truth is, you’re gonna have a hell of a problem.”

“I know.”

“So, stop.” Johnny says it like it’s so easy and you chew on your cheek as the faucet turns off and you turn around to see Takemura begin to leave your bathroom. His pale eyes catch yours and you turn around only to see your brain tumour’s gone and left you alone. It’s eerily quiet in your head and you stand, clearing your throat.

Takemura slips the clean rice into the rice cooker before closing it and you cross your arms below your breasts, squeezing yourself tightly. You feel bare in your clothes despite wearing your scuffed jacket. He regards you warily, and then he sighs, gesturing to the couch—a silent ask.

 You nod, stepping back and letting him take where you were sitting earlier. You retreat across from him, where Johnny was sitting and he glances around your apartment. You wonder if he’s judging even more of you, but then he looks into his hands, swallowing visibly. 

“V—"

“You’re not the only one with principles. Just because I kill for money don't mean I'd do anything for it,” you begin coldly, leaning back and studying him. “And nothing about my life has been easy. When I said you did what you had to do to keep food on the table, that wasn’t me judging you. That was me getting it, alright, Goro?” His eyes meet yours and you arch an eyebrow, scoffing. “Not my problem if you don’t believe me. Yeah, I oppose corps, because they ruined my life, and so many other people’s lives no one can count 'em, but that doesn't mean you're any better than me. You don’t get to make assumptions about me. You never get to make assumptions about Jackie.That is all I have to say.”

He nods, accepting your harsh tone and you bite your tongue, trying not to burn down the bridge anymore than you need to as you prop a foot up against the table. Takemura doesn't say anything for a hot moment and you think you've wasted your time. Your knee jiggles. He doesn't even look at you.

Then: “I must again say that we are both still grieving. We ache to lash out. That is why I said what I said, and why, I presume, you say what you say.” He steeples his fingers and regards you with those eyes, gorgeous in their own right. “I understand what I said was callous. You have been nothing but understanding to my own loss.”

“No shit.”

“And I understand Mr. Welles was your friend.”

“He was like my brother,” you correct icily. “He’s been there for me since the beginning, I—I can’t forgive you saying something like that about him so easily, Goro.”

He dips his head. “I understand. It is why I cook for you. It is how I best express myself." The corner of his mouth tugs up faintly in a mirthless facsimile of a smile before he exhales sharply through his nose, looking at you again. "I confess I have not had time recently to cook, but I will do my best.” Johnny’s link comes to life at the mention and your own stomach squirms silently. “We are in this together, V. I do not wish for you to be angry at me.”

“Don’t do it, V. Don’t take it.”

“Fuck off, Johnny. I’m starving.” Aloud, you say: “I’ll be angry for a while. Just… let me sleep on it and we'll see from there.” He nods and you let your arms fall to your sides as you sit up. “It’s been a long few days, so I just… I just want to not think about anything for a while, you know?”

“I understand.”

He says that a lot, you notice. 

“Thank you for apologizing, at least,” you continue grudgingly. “Thanks.” You stand and gesture vaguely around the place. “Make yourself at home. I’m… I’m going to shower and scrub this grime off.” Dried blood, sweat, dirt, et cetera. He nods and stands as well, returning to the tiny cooking station he’s made for himself. You head to your closet, managing to pick out a clean shirt that’s a bit big and a jacket you ripped off a 6th Street goon a few weeks back. You just picked it up from the cleaners.

Heading for the bathroom, you set your crap on the toilet cover before poking your head out. Spotting Takemura sitting in front of the table, carefully sharpening a knife, you wait until he’s noticed you staring and he prompts you silently to ask.

“How’d you even know where I live, anyway?” 

He turns his gaze back on the blade.

“Ms. Olszewski marked it in my map, should the need arise.”

“This was a need?” you ask, curiously sardonic. Takemura doesn’t smile back and again, you get that impression he either doesn’t know how or he doesn’t do it often enough to remember. For some reason, that makes you sad. "Could've left it well enough alone. You know that."

“Oh, come on, V,” Johnny murmurs in your ear. “Don’t wax poetics on this guy.”

You ignore him.

“I do not enjoy the thought of a rift between you and I,” admits Takemura. He sets down the knife and sighs, eyes flitting to you briefly. Your hand wraps around the doorframe and you press your lips into a faint frown. "I... I have grown used to you."

You nod despite the words punching into your chest. “I don’t like it when we fight either.” At least, that you don’t have to fight twice to figure out. Your expression eases and your shoulders drop. “I’ll just hop in. Help yourself to whatever you can find. Really.” He accepts your offer with another nod and you close the door. It locks and you press your back against the metal, tipping your head back.

“For the love of—“

“Shut it, Johnny. Just… just give me a second.”

And on one of the rare occassions that he listens to you, Silverhand says nothing about how your heart doesn’t feel like wrought iron anymore.