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thewalkingdeadband · 1 year

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CARYL'S LAST EPISODE... (It IS going to be long, beware...) please note that these are only my opinion and the things i felt while watching

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I dont know where to start... i posponed in order to try to gather my thoughts but its hard..

Im not okay. Im not fine. I keep thinking about what we were supposed to have. Them riding off together. Now imagine the same ending scene for them, saying both goodbye to the kids and Ezekiel, with the same beautiful music in the background....

We probably wouldn't have had an I love you then, nor a kiss i believe, but we would've had them leaving together and riding off to their spin off. Which was the plan. Which was the fucking plan. The fucking endgame plan. With or without canon. This is all i could think while watching the scene and hearing the music behind.

I was so caught up in the episode earlier with Rosita and everything happening that it almost took me the time jump to remember that it was the last twd ep ever and that they were going their separate ways at the end, within the next 20 mns or so. Thats when it hit me. Again.

So they were together the whole way this episode, taking care both of Judith, Carol taking care of Daryl, both respectfully giving Magna/Connie/Yumiko/Kelly some space to say goodbye and mourn Luke while trying to save Jude. And while watching over her, they gave each other at some point a beautiful longing look .

She helped him giving his blood, she teared up with relief when Little ass kicker woke up, her hands in her hair.

I loved all that.

Then: bam, action, back to the rest of the episode, fastforward to the end with them locking Pamela up and giving her the same kind of speech Richonne gave when they locked up Negan in the s8 finale. Please. And let's not even go back to Family 11.23, where they ran with Judith in Daryl's arms and Carol clearing the way, just as Richonne with Carl in s6.... Please, again.

But back to Rest in Peace:

Time jump: we have Connie running towards Daryl and my heart shattered a little, thinking "oh no its like Zeke in 9x01, they made them canon post time jump". But no, so huuuuuge relief, cause im not gonna lie and pretend: she did look like a girlfriend running towards her boyfriend in this scene, and that was totally done on purpose i believe. That said, we knew he was leaving and as far as we knew not with Connie so it didnt make sense for me to actually worry i guess ?

And then we see Carol. Short haired. Which i liked. Because if having long hair meant feeling safe enough coz Ed couldnt grab them anymore so no need to cut them short, having short hair again meant, in my opinion: now i feel safe regardless of my haircut, no one's gonna hurt me, Ed is long dead, i can feel safe and relaxed with long OR short hair.

And then we have the goodbye....

I wish you were coming with me. I was torn between screaming "dont we all" and "no shit sherlock".

This is going to be good for you, for me.

Yes. You heard that. To be separated. Good.for.them. Why? How? When? The hell does it mean? I had time to think abt it, and i dont like what i came up with:

"i love u too much and it scares me? We're too fusional? We hurt each other too much lately?? You re better off without me because im not good for u anyway? And to be alone - without u- for a while will allow me some time to heal ?"

After he says goodbye to the kids and zeke, Judith goes, hey, daryl, u deserve happiness too and yes, she seems to look behind, towards Carol but no, im not going to make conclusions out of it even if i love the idea, especially considering what Norman said to Vanity fair abt this line ("if there is any line from the finale that carries over to the spin off , it's that one"). That doesnt look good but i also know not to make a big deal out of what actors say - good or bad, honestly - and at this point i dont wanna care for now, we'll see.

Here's the link for this interview:

Then ... I LOVE YOU

SO... unfortunately, it was said in the same episode than Rosita/Eugene's i love you, and than Magna's " I love you" and "we love you so much" to Luke. So yeah, anyone can see it as platonic if they want to, and put Caryl in the same box as Rosita/Eugene and Luke/his group. It was done on purpose to me.. a la "see? This is the last episode, so this is the episode of the i love yous and do what u want with it"

BUT... the way he said it sounded romantic as hell to me (same as the look he gave her when he answered "yeah..." to her "its a beautiful day to head out"...).

This is her answer/response that bothered me. He said it as a sort of relief for me, like "i finaaaally let it out of my chest", and "i fucking mean it" but she brushed it off, a la "yeah sure pookie dont make fun of me" and to be honest i was almost expecting her to have a "staaaaap" Daryl call back (rofl/tears/idontevenknowanymore). Then she kind of realised he was serious and answered a bit shyly/awkardly i love u too. I was like oh come on!!!! Does she STILL think she's not good enough for his love??

To me he looked disappointed for a nanosecond, and then "oh well", touches her face, they hug, smile, look sad, and off we go. (Yes, maybe it was more Melissa/Norman than Caryl at this point, i dont know).

And then he looks like he wants to say something to her again, and i want to believe it was something like either "u sure u dont want to come ? Please come? " And/ or "i actually love you, you know ? " but eh...

At the end of the day, of course i loved the I love you. For freak's sake, he didnt say it to anyone else in this show, and it is a big deal coming from him, and he said it first. He could have just said: im gonna miss u so much. No, his last words to her were i love you. His last words ever in the main show were to Carol and it was I love you. Of course i screamed with joy regardless of everything.

Ok, to end this dead ass long post, two more things:

Considering everything, im glad Carol's with the kids. Since i like Carick, it gives me hope that maybe, maybe, he could reunite with his kids and Carol (with Rick being forever grateful to her once more), with Daryl - and Michonne of course - being obviously right beside him... since a Rickyl reunion is more than sure at this point, which would lead to a - one can hope- Caryl reunion too...

Also i like the idea of Judith taking care of Carol like Daryl asked. After everything, this is a nice concept. She needs to be taken care of, for once. And if its by the kids, nice touch, since she's taken care of them so much. Plus Carol and Judith being close is all i ever hoped for.

On a lighter note - and please note that it was only a joke to cheer me up, and that i LOVE Ezekiel :

Not my bf saying while watching the caryl goodbye: "look at Zeke being "lets get the fuck out of here kids im not watching this emotional goodbye" while still staying not too far behind to make sure Daryl's actually leaving"

It made me laugh trough my tears, but in all seriousness, Zeke gave them space and i loved him for that, also his hug with Daryl was heartfelt and touching. I want him to find happiness and really move on.

NB: i had a thousand more things to say, but its already way too long...

NB bis: i wish they had brought up the cherokee rose. They were in a beautiful place where there were probably a lot of flowers, he could have taken one and put it in her hair to cheer her up since she was crying and sad. Well, cherokee roses may not be easy to find i dont know... but you know, anything that makes a nice call back to that. Or the acorns. Or the bracelet. Make one last cute joke abt that. For example.

Oh, and have u seen how Maggie asked to see and talk to them both about exploring the world? Since Carol says u want to talk etc. I bet this scene wasnt changed and was in the original way to send caryl into their spin off...

#caryl #caryl fam #caryl forever

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

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love letter bc not only your fanfics deserve love but you do too! 'me when i dance' you mean cute? does it mean dance covers too? 'WHATEVER HAPPENS' well it went better than i though but i still was dizzy and sleepy. thanks for your support! i sewed a tie on friday! it took exhausting 3 hours (i was promised itd take 1...) and i was hungry but everythings ok. im still alive. how did your friday go? 'my grandma was kinda mean for that' im judging. respectfully to your grandma but still. 'our neighbor threw it away' oh my am i angry now? id tell this (in)human being a couple of sweet words... you didnt but i cried. yk if you want to make me cry in wfal you should kill a cat. (not recommended) rip lovely TT 'it’s the in the keep then' *excited meow meow* 'OFF ANON LIKE YOU PROMISED' oh youre so petty. 'im sure you’d burn the first day you step foot here' absolutely right. thats why i never go there. im like burning in summers in st. petersburg when its 30 C so... 'YOU DO KNOW THATS FREEZING POINT' nuh its perfect?? 'why is it harder to breathe in dry areas?' its dry + cold. its important. bc we just got less oxygen into the blood... like we have the same amount of oxygen in the air but bc of the absence of water vapor the blood doesnt absorb it as good as in the south. 'I HOPE YOU FIND PEACE TOO' its ok i still dgaf while she doesnt trigger me. but alright. ill get over once. thanks for your love<з 'Thank you i love my hands even though they’re so veiny' its ok isnt it? ik many people love it. its just your hand that do very perfect things! 'ur making me wanna maybe make it' hgjdj ig thats my job here. glad you love it and know how talented you are again. id be very glad to see the part 2 if youre up to make it! 'I HAVE THIS STARK UNIVERSE' yeah and i love it TT its just easier for me to associate myself with the starks? ghdjfdj yes bc of the north. im glad you love the north's aesthetic sglkljs. do yk the series vikings? i never watched it BUT. i know they interacted with the ancient rus and wow theyre northern so. i did some research and learnt they had a russian actor which was very famous and ideal of male beauty but now hes a meme TT i nearly cried bc of laugh when i found out this fact. 'because then id have to use a name or (Y/N)' HAFHISI poor child. try not to? get more creative? goof luck? im glad you find the possibility of speaking for others' thoughts important enough to use y/n. 'she at the very least knows how to properly conduct herself and treat others' yeah thats why shes fine. i dont have guts to raise a sword either, rather make smn raise it for me >:) but still your opinion is the most important here. so im gled you love your creation. 'IM SO FUCKIGN HOT' HFJSJFKF and how nice it was to walk down the street with the snow falling down and only -5 C🥰 so cozy. HGIODJOF how were the classes? how are assignments? oh youre soso sweet with the song TT love you catmom TT so good morning or anything! have a nice everything! love you! drink water (esp during this hot time) and eat nice food! take care<з

OMG LOVE LETTER

ME TO MY CAT EVERYTIME I SEE MY KITTY

love letter bc not only your fanfics deserve love but you do too!

'me when i dance' you mean cute? does it mean dance covers too?

T_T i meant funny HAHAHHA i mean i dance but i dont post myself dancing. i enjoy learning dances though! if i like them enough

'WHATEVER HAPPENS' well it went better than i though but i still was dizzy and sleepy. thanks for your support!

<3 <3

i sewed a tie on friday! it took exhausting 3 hours (i was promised itd take 1...) and i was hungry but everythings ok. im still alive.

do you mean like you made a tie from scratch T_T RIP I TOOK DRESSMAKING AS MY ELECTIVE IN HIGHSCHOOL AND I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I WORE THE DRESS TO PROM BUT MY GRANDMOTHER HAD IT GET REDONE BY A DRESSMAKER SO I COULD WEAR IT AND ALSHFHASF;ASF;HASF;HASFHSA I CRIED COS IT WAS EXPESIVE at least to me AND I FELT SO BAD THAT MY GRANDMA HAD TO DO THAT T_T

how did your friday go?

i was on a roll on friday that was when i posted the p3 and the pedro pascal fic. the next day tho T_T i was really tired cos i was overthinking about my assignments. i finished them now tho so its ok. i still have some to finish but meh im tired it can wait tom

'my grandma was kinda mean for that' im judging. respectfully to your grandma but still.

T_T my grandmas kinda mean so its fine but STOP JUDGING PEOPLE IN GENERAL T_T

'our neighbor threw it away' oh my am i angry now? id tell this (in)human being a couple of sweet words... you didnt but i cried.

there was unfortunately no place to bury the poor kitty T_T i live in the city. its just concrete and asphalt T_T

yk if you want to make me cry in wfal you should kill a cat. (not recommended) rip lovely TT

WTF NO WTF NO WTF WTF WTF

'it’s the in the keep then' *excited meow meow*

LOL it may take a while im tired T_T

'OFF ANON LIKE YOU PROMISED' oh youre so petty.

/: im not petty im just reminding you T_T

'im sure you’d burn the first day you step foot here' absolutely right. thats why i never go there. im like burning in summers in st. petersburg when its 30 C so...

oh wait it becomes 30 degrees there in st petersburg!? that's actually pretty hot. it was apparently 32 C here during 12pm AND I WAS ON FIRE T_T so wow im suprised it gets that hot. idK I FEEL LIKE THE INTERNET IS GIVING ME WRONG TEMPERATURES BECAUSE IT FEEL LIKE ITS WAY HOTTER THAN THAT BECAUSE IF ST PETERSBURG CAN GET 30 DEGS WTF

'YOU DO KNOW THATS FREEZING POINT' nuh its perfect??

'why is it harder to breathe in dry areas?' its dry + cold. its important. bc we just got less oxygen into the blood... like we have the same amount of oxygen in the air but bc of the absence of water vapor the blood doesnt absorb it as good as in the south.

oh so now you believe in science /:

'I HOPE YOU FIND PEACE TOO' its ok i still dgaf while she doesnt trigger me. but alright. ill get over once. thanks for your love<з

'Thank you i love my hands even though they’re so veiny' its ok isnt it? ik many people love it. its just your hand that do very perfect things!

people like veiny hands on men. and

i mean i love my hands but sometimes im like wew theyre so big and veiny. its a testament to how hard i work but yeah society makes me questions things about myself. its so unhealthy

'ur making me wanna maybe make it' hgjdj ig thats my job here. glad you love it and know how talented you are again. id be very glad to see the part 2 if youre up to make it!

WELL SEE ALL YOU PEOPLE MAKING ME DO PART TWOS WHEN IM SO AGAINST THEM T_T

'I HAVE THIS STARK UNIVERSE' yeah and i love it TT its just easier for me to associate myself with the starks? ghdjfdj yes bc of the north. im glad you love the north's aesthetic sglkljs.

lol i was not sure if you knew of my stark universe at the time SO YEAH WOOO I LOVE WOLVES <3

do yk the series vikings? i never watched it BUT. i know they interacted with the ancient rus and wow theyre northern so. i did some research and learnt they had a russian actor which was very famous and ideal of male beauty but now hes a meme TT i nearly cried bc of laugh when i found out this fact.

i also only know of the series vikings. who's the actor? im so curious. the first persont that popped into my head is alexander ludwig, but it says hes candian so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

'because then id have to use a name or (Y/N)' HAFHISI poor child. try not to? get more creative? goof luck? im glad you find the possibility of speaking for others' thoughts important enough to use y/n.

I AM CREATIVE HOW DARE YOU 😡 and of course other characters are important my gosh AHAHAHAH imagine having everything be about you all the time T_T 🤢🤢🤢

'she at the very least knows how to properly conduct herself and treat others' yeah thats why shes fine. i dont have guts to raise a sword either, rather make smn raise it for me >:)

d;lkgaf;ksagflkasfgkas;fgas;fg;fakl;gaf;asf why are you so inheretly evil. it's giving yes i love manipulating others alshf;ahf;ashfsla stop HASLFHALFLASFASLG gwfo/

but still your opinion is the most important here. so im gled you love your creation.

HAHAHAHH of course i love my creation. out of all the forms of art i make, i am most confident in my writing because of how much feedback ive had on it, as opposed to my drawing and my music and anything else. i would like to be better at them but that would also require me to force myself to be confident enough to share them so T_T its a paradox

'IM SO FUCKIGN HOT' HFJSJFKF and how nice it was to walk down the street with the snow falling down and only -5 C🥰 so cozy.

[blocked]

HGIODJOF how were the classes? how are assignments?

never ending like my queue AHHAHAH T_T

oh youre soso sweet with the song TT love you catmom TT

<3 im excited to do it!!!!

so good morning or anything! have a nice everything! love you! drink water (esp during this hot time) and eat nice food! take care<з

good day my love <3 i hope you also keep yourself hydrated and eat well. take care of yourself i love you

xxx

#anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie #slavyanskiyahui cutie

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dyketubbo · 3 years

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EDIT (10/7/21, og post made in August)

editing this post since apparently people are still finding it but anyways while im not going to take the post down because i personally just dont like deleting posts and i still agree with some of the things said id prefer that if you find this post that you just. didnt interact with it, at least not if youre not going to be respectful. this post is from august, before the clip of phil saying hes fine w qpr hcs (even if i have complicated feelings on that clip, i dont want to risk getting into discourse about this shit again).

it started a giant discussion and got me people harassing me and talking behind my back, one person even telling me people had groups talking about me, it got me being called arophobic, anti-polyam, claimed i was calling people racist and misogynistic, i got told i didnt have friends, i had people vague me and misinterpret what i said and meant, and through it all i had a total of maybe two or three people at most that disagreed with me and were respectful about it. everyone else that disagreed either resorted to vaguing me (or others that stood by me) or they insulted me to my face (in some cases insulting me then blocking me so i couldnt respond).

many of these people were adults. i had recently turned 16 the month before. i dont mean to pull the whole "oo im a minor and neurodivergent" card but the shit that came from this post, that had at the time barely even reached over 500 notes at the discourse's height, genuinely made me relapse in a way that i just. couldnt handle. i was on meds, i took care of my pets, i distracted myself, i talked to my friends, even talked to my therapist, and it didnt help because every time i came back i found another person giving me shit for it. one of my friends tried to defend me and got people targeting them, insulting them and saying increasingly concerning things about me, and they had to leave the fandom for a bit because of it.

i dont trust a good portion of the fandom because of this mess. i dont trust a lot of big blogs or aeduo fans or techno fans or phil fans because of this. its genuinely concerning to me that a post like this caused harassment, even in places i havent seen, maybe even to people i havent seen. even if this post is still vaguely accurate to how i feel about the situation (mainly, how i feel about it all overshadowing kristin and phils relationship) and i still stand by my idea that qprs count as shipping and that because they arent strictly platonic for many people that i cant be comfortable with qp aeduo, i just. dont want people interacting with this, at least not unless you just want to spread the info in this edit or because you want to say something respectfully. otherwise, i just. want this to be left behind me. even to this day i still get paranoia spikes and nearly panic remembering everything that happened because of this post, and being reminded of it just. sucks. if you want to clear anything up feel free to contact me in some way, but if you see this in the tags while browsing somehow, sorry for the long post, and thank you if you read all of this. have a good day

End of Edit (all text below unedited from when the post was originally made)

btw since kristins been confirmed to be canon multiple times over the past like few months and philza has expressed discomfort with shipping content that isnt him and his literal wife can we as a fandom agree to fucking quit it with treating c!emeraldduo as anything other than friends/family ^^ thatd be great. and yes i mean even the fuckin "platonic" marriage shit, even qpr hcs, just let them be friends.

please god stop acting as if a m/m relationship is inherently better than a m/f relationship especially considering how fuckin shittily the fandom treats kristin already, constantly making her out to be some skinny white girl instead of the fat woc she is. just like. let c!emeraldduo be besties, let c!phil and c!kristin be in a happy marriage, quit going against the cc boundaries because you prefer to ship two average white dudes rather than just accept that ones canonically married to the self-insert of his actor's wife. yall all about minorities until ones actually involved and then suddenly its all about your precious white cishet dudes. my god.

#the marriage/qpr stuff was already ehhh bc again. boundaries. but now its just even worse bc kristin is literally canon to the smp #philza #technoblade #emeraldduo #kristin trixtin #mumza #dsmp #discourse #mask mews #tags after this are edited in #negative #long post #ask to tag

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blxetsi · 3 years

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modern sasha braus dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!sasha braus x gn!reader

had to write something for my queen 😌✨

- she shares her food with you. I Dont Care She Does

- also since this is a modern au i dont think she would have such an obsession with food as she does in the canonverse (if we can even call it an obsession) i still think she would have a big appetite (and she'd be proud of it tf 😏🙏) but i just dont see her always being hungry as the fandom makes her out to be

- really likes to hold hands with you

- i think itd be really cute if she was studying to become a baker ?? maybe taking a culinary course at the university you two attend ?? maybe you somehow met there or through a friend

- i think she'd still be insecure about her accent (ig if this is au is set in america she'd be from the south 😐🤚) and would speak kind of like a robot to people she didn't know that well

- connie and jean ALWAYS bring out her accent tho,, like with them she can really be herself

- i think when you were starting to get to know her she would be speaking very formally, and youd take it like shes being kinda stand offish or like,, just doesnt wanna talk so youre thinking "okay maybe she doesnt wanna be friends 😁👍" and would back off

- now sasha's upset because you are so cool and unique and she just wants to know so much about you but youve been very distant lately ?? like did she do something wrong ??

- she tells connie, jean, marco, and niccolo one night and connie and jean are on the side of "find y/n and demand to know why their behavior has changed" while marco and niccolo are on the side of "respectfully dm y/n and ask why they havent been wanting to see sasha recently"

- sasha goes with the latter of the two and dms you after passing you in the dining hall, you two literally keep glancing at each other, texting while you sit with your respective friend groups

- after everything gets cleared up sasha is immediately inviting you to hang out with her crew, and even getting some of her other friends like eren, mikasa, and ymir and historia to come join too

- if she has all the people shes comfortable with there, itll be less scary talking with her accent !

- You Love It. You Think Its Adorable.

- you guys would definitely have a friends to lovers type relationship

- like friendly hugs turn into slightly longer hugs, and now sasha will constantly ask to sit next to you during movie nights

- loves to rest her head on your lap while she spreads across the couch

- i think you two would have your first kiss in niccolos apartment

- you two were sitting in his kitchen, with sasha munching on the leftover food he made that night for your get together

- his mom had called him so he decided to leave to go to his bedroom to answer it

- and slowly you guys just kind of,,,, leaned in 🙈✨

- it was slow and really romantic, kinda rough with the crumbs that were around sasha's lips but you didn't mind

- niccolo barged in and ruined the moment 😐🤚 good going pal 😁👍

- you two were so shocked that you two tried to leave

- ended up just walking down the road in silence like wtf i thought yall were trying to get away from each other 😭😭😭😭

- sasha ended up staying the night 🤩‼️

- NOT in a sexual way

- but in like a,,,, rue and jules kinda way where jules comes in through the window (but only sasha didnt come in through the window she came in the front door with you) and you two held each other and gave each other smooches for the rest of the night

- sasha woke up late and missed her morning classes 😐🤚 didnt even care and went back to sleep with you

- i think for the most part you get along well with her friend group

- youre definitely closer to connie, jean, niccolo, marco, and historia

- ymir teases you guys a lot and you cant tell if what she says is just jokes (it always is) or if shes completely serious

- eren, mikasa, armin, annie, along with reiner and bertholdt are more of aquantances to you, just because you dont see them as often as you do the others

- she has such a weird relationship with her english professor

- will literally complain how much work he gives his class and then the next day will gush about how great he his bc he gave her a granola bar for her effort in her assignment

- girl pick a script and stick to it 😐🤚

- has a collection of stuffies on her bed. i dont make the rules.

- anytime theres a carnival in town she drags EVERYONE there.

- you all agree to split up into groups so you can all check out what you want, but you always agree to meet up and eat funnel cake together 🥺

- sasha tries to get you to win her new stuffies

- if you cant do it, or just want some for yourself, shes calling connie and niccolo up PLEADING with them to come find you guys,

- then she claims theres been an ACCIDENT and that you two need help

- niccolo is zooming bc he cares abt his besties 😌✨

- connie texts jean and marco to come find you guys too 😭😭😭

- who gets a kick and a lecture for lying courtesy of niccolo ? sasha. but who also gets a bunch of stuffies won for her courtesy of niccolo ? sasha.

- for your anniversary i think she'd want to do something really fun with you

- she'd set up a pillow fort and have a bunch ot string lights and stuff, have all of her favourite stuffies (which are the ones she thinks of you when she sees) in there too.

- she has chips, she baked little pastries and cookies, and she ordered your favourite takeout

- you guys just watch whatever you want on netflix or whatever and its such a nice night

- it becomes a tradition for you guys, but you two always take turns with setup

- one year sasha did all of the planning, baking and whatnot ? okay now its your turn 😁👍

- you guys even started doing themes now 🤩

- if you guys play board games with your friends youre on sasha's side whether you want to be or not.

- shes also the kind of person that says "i can win fair and square !" but then when bertholdt starts kicking her ass in monopoly her script changes real quick 🙄

- now its "y/n,,, give me some of ur money" and "y/n, buy this property for me" like girl,,,, what happened to playing fair 😍⁉️

- will try and do all of those s/o pranks you see on tiktok

- its hard to get a genuine reaction out of you bc you can TELL SHES RECORDING but she tries anyways

- we love a perservering queen 😌✨

- will call you at random times of the day asking if you guys can see each other

- "y/n ??? are you there ??" "sasha its 2am wtf do you want 😐" "do you wanna ride your bike with me down to the park 🥺"

- also is very observant, knows when youre overworking yourself

- will try and pull you away from what youre working on like "lets go get you something to drink, or maybe we can watch an episode of that show you like before you continue working !"

- if youre persistent that you just HAVE to finish it tonight and cant stop and take a break she'll respect that, until you stay at your laptop for over an hour 😐

- just softly pulls you away like "no lovebug, lets get some sleep okay ?"

- is also very protective of you

- overheard someone making fun of you ?? talking shit ??? her besties better hold her back before she gets suspended 😤‼️

- and since connie and jean absolutely ADORE you, you better believe theyre helping their girl sasha out

- those three are the LEADERS of the "protect y/n club"

- it just becomes niccolo and marco trying to dissolve the situation before it gets physical, and then reiner and armin joining when they walk directly into the chaos

- armin tells you what happened and as much as youre thankful that sasha cares about you so much that she'd defend you like that, you lecture her, jean and connie on not making scenes like that again

- sasha's love language is kind of like,, a mixture of quality time and physical touch

- she just really loves spending time with you, but also very much enjoys being in your arms

- she doesnt shy away from it, and is usually the one to initiate those things

- will hold your hand PROUDLY down hallways or on streets

- always hypes you up too, shes very much so your personal hypeman

- "oh lovebug you look SO GOOD rn oh my god" "sasha pls im in my pyjamas" "and you look like a model baby !"

- sasha is very stubborn however, and if you guys ever fight she is NEVER the one to apologize first, or seek you out to talk about it

- even if shes in the wrong she cant bring herself to admit it, she dug herself into such a deep hole with the stance she took that she doesnt want to take the walk of shame in admitting that she wasnt right

- this can cause a lot of problems in your relationship, but after you explain how much it affects you, shes trying to change

- will always work on her stubborn-ness and pride

- and it actually makes her feel a lot better being able to admit defeat, or being wrong

- she really likes being communicative and honest, especially with you

- i think overall your relationship with sasha is very very fun, filled with good memories, good food, good friends, and most importantly, love.

no bc i really do love her 😐🤚 lemme marry miss braus rq 😏✨

hope u guys enjoyed !! remember requests are open so if you have anything youd like me to write DONT BE SHY ❤️‼️

#aot #aot imagines #attack on titan #attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan x reader #sasha braus #sasha blouse #sasha braus x reader #sasha blouse x rease #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #niccolo aot #connie springer #marco aot #jean aot

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elvencantation · 3 years

Text

yin yang master liveblog

feat. @thursdayplaid

what

blue

omg the magic is so pretty

also why is it always Chinese dramas will have someone, if they need blood, bite their finger?

also the gold spirit is very cute i like

i love a young countenance but an older soul

i also want them to take off their hats 😂

wait he ain’t dead he’s just sitting there?

or he’s dying i guess

Thursday

This movie is pretty throughout, aesthetic on point

Sharp teeth?

We simp gold spirit

Too true, amazing combo XD

He's dying

Please don't let me disturb your liveblogging. It brings be much joy

blue

oh hot demon boy!

love that he’s fighting with a fan

Thursday

Who will win? Uptight fighting bro vs gentle fan uncle

blue

gentle fan uncle is an amazing title

Thursday

@^_^@

blue

i love how he’s just like ‘bet u wouldnt stab a precious instrument’

Thursday

XD I love how playful he is during the whole fight too

blue

it’s adorable

dude rly loves his transportation talismans

WAIT I THOUGHT DEMON BOY HAD TATTOOS NOT CUTS

Thursday

He does. If it ain't broke, don't fix it I guess. And it's a good way to redirect violence without doing harm

Demon boy has had a Rough Time

blue

i wanna give him a hug

i don’t think he’d appreciate that but still 😂

Thursday

He's just sad and misses his girl friend

blue

why his reincarnated shufu look evil tho

Thursday

Who can say~~~

I love how Boya was just repeatedly defeated by Qingming and is like: you won't fight me because you're scared.

blue

what’s a himbo but not nice 😂

hey! they put my boys hat on crooked. rude.

Thursday

Give that boy a straight hat.

He's just such an Angy Boy

blue

he rly is 😂

ah i love the lady master she’s so pretty

Thursday

She's amazing and I love her.

blue

awww boya defended him

Thursday

He's so angry, but this fan man flirts with him

blue

ofc they all spying on each other 😂

Thursday

Saved by your opponent's gay discovery

blue

omg yes

Thursday

Spying required

blue

aw he looks nice with his hair down!

drink tea with him angy boy!

Thursday

He just wants you to chill out before you deviate. Sit and look at his amazing long hair. It'll be good for you

blue

HAHAHA

honey bug!!!! i love her!!!!!!!

Thursday

Also the ability for the fan man's actor to go from calm to worried to angry to calm again

Honey bug is good and important and I love her

blue

thank u for the recommendation yes

i love them

Thursday

The intrinsic eroticism of a man who's having his racist beliefs totally shaken by a hot guy who's hotter and smarter than him while holding a sword to his throat and looking like he wants to cry while saying cool lines.

They are such a great pair

blue

angy boy is angy like how dare fan man make him have feelings

Thursday

How very dare he make a good point about morals and ethics!

Also with that hair drinking tea in the morning

Angy boy with clenched teeth: I'm Not Yearning. I'm Just Like This When I See A Fan.

Angy boy with clenched fists: Complex Feelings? Disgusting.

blue

HAHAH OMG HES JUST HANGING OUT WITH A BUNCH OF LADIES LIKE HELLO YES ANGY BOY COME HAVE TEA WITH US ITS NOT WHAT U THINK

OMG THIS TIME ITS BOYS

ITS LIKE UR TRYING TO GIVE ANGY BOY AN ANEURISM

Thursday

Clenched fist intensifies

blue

I CANNOT

maybe he just wants to hang out with cute people

i get that

Thursday

He's just a friendly guy

blue

if i could summon pretty spirit friends to hang with me i so would

ok so maybe he’s not evil. but i’m still suspicious

NOW ANGY BOY IS HAIR DOWN WITHOUT HAT OMG YES

Thursday

I do get the vibe off him he's not the sort of guy who would put his spirit friends in sexual situations. But also I get the vibe he's a very lonely guy at his core and he enjoys the feeling of physical and emotional closeness.

blue

mood ™

Thursday

Let's be honest, the hat is a bit cute, but that hair though. Respect for the makeup department

blue

HAHAHAH

Thursday

Angy boy, you're just walking to being teased now. At this point its a hand written invitation with gold leaf.

blue

oh i love this moment with the water

it’s so intense

JUST DO IT ANGY BOY

U KNOW U CARE ABOUT HIM

“you’re too obedient” 😂

Thursday

The priest is in the range of gentle or teasing and hovers there. Seeing an actual intense situation is great

blue

ikr????

ah that is exactly what i love

that situation

Thursday

Me too! It's great when characters hover in a range and then swing over sharply

I really makes both extremes more dynamic

blue

HAVE SOME WINE WITH HIM DO IT

U KNOW U WANNA

Thursday

Go For It Angy Boy! He'll be gentle!

blue

😏

Thursday

XD I mean he will continue to ruffle his feathers, but for fun, not for mean

Also, I really love the depiction of a fox demon that isn't sexed up.

Qingming is a trickster, a tease, a bit of a flirt, and enjoys the pleasures of life, but he isn't the stereotypical half naked sexpot fox demon that seem to pop up everywhere

blue

OH NO HE HAD TO KILL HIS SHUFU???

Thursday

The only person he had in the world but he didn't want him to suffer and be corrupted

blue

also I hate that my two associations with someone being turned into ash is firstly the avengers and secondly that stupid fucking scene in the last harry potter movie

god this movie is so beautiful and lovely

Thursday

That set is outstandingly gorgeous

Everything is so beautiful. I want to live in this world!

Sometimes I just see a kind and lonely character trying to live their best life and just vibe with them. Also the wigs on this movie 😭 So beautiful!

blue

DONT HURT MY GIRL

Thursday

Run girl! Move!

She's so smart and brave!

blue

oh the DRAMA

Thursday

The Drama is right, I love this movie!

blue

HE WILL SAVE U BOYA

Thursday

HE'S COMING FOR YOU FRIEND

blue

omg the drama of his hand slackening

Thursday

That slackening hand though...

blue

why it didn’t work until then tho???

Thursday

For the drama mostly XD

blue

HUGGGG

is she giving birth to the serpent? 🤢

Thursday

She is giving birth to the serpent

blue

hey it’s better to be possessed by the literal incarnation of evil in snake form than be dead am I right?

Thursday

I mean is we're making a choice...

blue

OMG IS IT FINALLY SPIRIT TIME?

thursday

It is ~spirit time~!

blue

HOT DEMON BOY IS BACK UPGRADED

SO PROUD

Thursday

He is back and he is Fancy!

They're looking good they're doing poses

blue

omg the painters face painting is so pretty

Thursday

I love the painter ;-; so noble

blue

the music when he summons spirits just makes me think of like pro wrestling intro music for some reason 😂

Thursday

And now from the WWE, some hot chinese spirits

blue

oh no ice boy!

Thursday

Poor ice boy, he's just getting beat up

blue

don’t u dare touch my other demon boy

Thursday

He just signed up for this adventure and now a snake is beating him up

blue

OMG HE NOW HAS SOMEONE HE WOULD PROTECT WITH HIS LIFE DOESNT HE

Thursday

He Do!

blue

WAIT WHAT NO BOYA

Thursday

Boya is just having a rough time right now, he's a good good boy

blue

and now the painter???

Thursday

I almost cried about the painter and he was only there for like five minutes

blue

PLS DONT HURT MY DEMON BOY

Thursday

Demon Boy goes yeet

blue

oh my god the drama of the dripping blood i can’t

Thursday

This movie has so much drama It did

blue

not my demon boy 😭

FINALLY IT WORKED

wait shit spirit boya is super hot

THE BLACK WINGS?!????

the tattoos??? the hair?!?!!! the messy goth skirt??!

Thursday

Spirit Boya is Choice, I'm looking respectfully 👀

Goth spirit aesthetic is on point

blue

where the other guardians tho?

yes this is a very touching little last reunion but where my boya at

omg yes give him a glowing sword

the avenging angel look is 💯 on him

Thursday

The sword on fire look is Really Working For Him

blue

tell me boya’s spirit form has no influence on his actual body. no he said he trusted qingming to protect his body it’s ok

OMG YES I KNEW THE PROTECTION SPELL MOMENT WOULD BE BACK

Thursday

It's back and it's shiny!

blue

ok but u still have a hole in ur torso my dude

oh ok apparently that’s not a thing anymore but i can’t be mad cause boya’s outfit 😍

Thursday

I guess he used his cultivation or his demon powers or something IDK, It would have been nice to have two extra minutes of Boya being worried about him

Boya wears some excellent clothes

blue

love a good romantic flute moment 😭🥰

Thursday

I have to say Boya's like let me play you this song about promising to fall in love in the next life for fun and me time

blue

omg i thought he was gonna kiss the arrow

Thursday

I mean emotionally did he not kiss the arrow?

blue

omg i cant

Thursday

I know right? How many censors did they have to pay off

blue

WAIT IS MY GIRL OK????

Thursday

I Chose To Believe She's fine and is now living happily on a farm or something

yeah i do love being worried for each other

but i guess they didnt have enouhg time and they already had that moment at the beginning of the movie 😂

Thursday

Two people? Respecting, worrying, and caring about each other? 👍 There's never enough caring for each other!

blue

exactly

Thursday

Also, this is one of the best examples of be careful how you word your spells that I've ever seen.

The old master was like care and protect her forever and his spirit guardian was just like: 👍👌💯

blue

heheh

yeahhh

AND U MADE ME EMOTIONAL AGAIN

#yin yang master #the yin yang master #dream of eternity #onmyoji #blue watches #yin yang master liveblog #this was fun!!!#thank you for the rec!#i liveblog at those who recommend me media #content #qing ya ji

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passionatememes · 3 years

Note

all apple basket gang, all the time: Ms. Lara Ravel please !!

LARA...... MISS RAVEL...... I AM LOOKING RESPECTFULLY......

First impression

hmm i dont think i paid much attention to her?? i think i liked her but in the kinda “oh shes nice :)” way. didnt think too deeply about her but i thought she was cool (if a little boring)

Impression now

WIFE WIFE WIFE

ok aside from me just being a giant lesbian over lara ravel i absolutely ADORE her..... i love how bitter she is and how you can really see her pain in everything she does :’) but she cares really deeply,,,, her character is so interesting because she doesnt quite fit a lot of the typical character troupes that she couldve, and i really appreciate that!!!

Favorite moment

#girlboss murder time (i love seeing characters make Horrible decisions its so fun and this moment is so great. lara come here let me give you a hug)

ALSO the first time i played i took the travellers deal like a dummy but that did mean i got to give lara a hug on day 11 and honestly? trading my soul was worth it she deserves it

Idea for a story

hmmmm i started to write a lara/yulia fic where yulia cuts her hair and lara is [i am looking respectfully] and it ends up with yulia cutting lara’s hair for her as a kind of fresh start?? i dunno. gay rights

Unpopular opinion

i dont know what the popular headcanons are with lara?? i strongly headcanon her a lesbian if that counts and i can see her with a lot of issues with compulsive het, going on dates with men of the town just to try and force it to feel Right :’) (the date with vlad jr was the worst Do Not bring it up to her)

Favorite relationship

lara/yulia.............. i can also see lara/eva tbh or even lara/yulia/eva. they all have two hands

Favorite headcanon

ok so i think that out of the four apple basket folks, lara and artemy were the first to become friends,,, and i think over the years, they both end up doing a lot of platonic casual affection!! like, artemy’s talking to rubin or something and lara’s sitting next to him and she just takes one of his hands and fiddles with it idly, or she’ll walk over to him and lean her entire weight on him and both of them continue the conversation like its nothing :’) might lead to people thinking theyre dating, especially because its lara ravel initiating it, but nah they’re just really comfortable with each other

#WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE #pathologic #god-is-a-dyke

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mousehole5000 · 3 years

Text

tgcf again chapters 174-191. im now midway through book 4. pain and suffering. and yet also.... this is really good.... but also.... pain...

okay cave of ten thousand gods everythings coming out into the light.... xie lian pretending not to hear fengqing drop their act im emotional..... fengqing silently working together to separate xie lian and hua cheng im emotional..... every word that comes out of mu qing’s mouth im emotional....

honestly reading the xianle trio discussing hua cheng.. its very hard for me NOT to project all the times ive been in a friendship trio and someone got a boyfriend the other two didnt like (which was every time. theres never been a bf everyone liked. sometimes i was the one who had the bf. there were no winners then and tbh i predict there will be no real winners here as far as this friendship goes but such is life)

mu qing is so smart he’s clever he’s tricksy i love it i love him ugh

“A pair of arms had circled around him from behind, and hugged him with force all of a sudden. Xie Lian had buried his face in his back, and also didn’t speak. Though nothing was said, it was enough.” okay i cant get into every different way im feeling about whats going down bc it would get Too Personal but this..... im emo. also xie lian saying “something like this has to be said clearly“ and then proceeding to not say a word just going in for a hug is a mood

“He heard Hua Cheng’s staggering voice coming from above. “...Your Highness. You really…will be the death of me.” - ok well DONT SAY THAT!! now im worried!!!

“Hua Cheng, however, only snorted, appearing as if his eyes could see through the thick rocky walls. He said darkly, “Don’t worry. If he kills one, I’ll make ten more. Fast and furious like the storms, I will never back down. Let’s see who’s the one left standing in the end.” Xie Lian’s heart skipped a beat for some reason, and he mumbled inwardly, “... Oh no, this is bad.” Even though Hua Cheng’s expression was subconsciously displayed, Xie Lian really was quite weak to this aggressive and rebellious confidence of his.” - fjadskfajsl its okay xie lian honey you never know whats going to do it for you

okay so are the murals and statues are only from the xianle era? im hoping hua cheng didnt secretly follow xie lian during his time as a mortal during the entire 800 years and then pretend to a total stranger that would be too much imo lets see. i still really do get why feng xin and mu qing are like “...dude wtf lets get out of here stay away from that guy” (also tbh probably if theyd all managed to stay close... this probably wouldnt be happening which isnt a judgement im just saying bc thats definitely how ive felt about friendships) although this whole thing IS indeed tinged with homophobia which i still dont think makes sense in this setting but whatever i guess.

BOOK 4!!!! im scared

“A few days ago he nearly fainted, and it was only after that did he realize it was because he hadn’t had anything to eat for several days.” - unfortunately relatable but :(

“Ever since Xie Lian was young, he had never had to consider these kinds of affairs, and this was truly the first time in decades that this problem gripped him. However, if gods didn’t even know what starvation felt like, how could they possibly understand the feelings of a starving worshipper? How could they possibly empathize? At this point, he could only take this experience as a form of training.” - TRUE THO!!!!!!!! i like seeing this even tho the circumstances are sad

wait does xie lian get his bad cooking skills from him mom? im gonna cry...

“After returning to the city, Mu Qing’s stomach was still turning. He said as he stumbled, “I thought…that porridge, it smelled like bran water, but I hadn’t thought it’d taste like it too!” Feng Xin gritted his teeth. “Shut up! Don’t force people to remember that pot of stuff! The queen is…body of ten thousand gold after all…never cooked…this is already…UGH!…” Mu Qing humphed. “Did I say something wrong? If you didn’t think it was like bran water, why don’t you…go ask the queen to grant you another bowl! UGH!…” The two were heaving back and forth, and Xie Lian grabbed hold of the both of them, patting their backs.” - xianle trio.... including simply because it made me do the pleading emoji in real life..... also the way the queen wanted to feed all of them... weeping

i didnt realize that mu qing would still be around during this time.... god the fact that i know theyre all going to split......

“It’s precisely because it’s a time like this that money has to be brought up!” Mu Qing countered. “A time like this? What time is it? Time when we’re starving! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to admit it, but nothing can be done without money! Can you both not just suck it up a little bit?” - mu qing i love you. god.... for real the fact that he comes from a completely different background than the other two is so important to his character and i think it shows so much in the way he continues to be in the present. he gives me the vibe of someone who is smart and hardworking but is bitter about it and tbh!!!! i get why he is!!! he’s very aware of these kinds of concerns bc he’s had to be, while the other two kind of think theyre above it and its a big difference between them. he’s still separated by the circumstances of his birth despite how much harder he’s worked to get to where he is.... ugh painful and delicious

i really am enjoying the xianle story tbh. xie lian going from his highness, favored by heaven, well-intentioned but lacking in experience and understanding to living in poverty and fighting with mortals who disrespect him. fucking delicious i mean this sincerely and respectfully im sad but i really like his character arc. and then to how he is in the present....

“Mu Qing looked at him, speaking not a word. Then he bowed deeply and really turned around to walk away.” - OH NO ITS HAPPENING AHHHHH ;_; honestly all of this hurts but it feels real like i think mu qing has every right to want to leave honestly and he DOES have other family and other ambitions outside of the trio... and i get why feng xin is mad about him wanting to leave when theyre suffering!! and i get why xie lian lets him go.... friendships are hard man and the pain of them splitting is rough!!!!

“Mu Qing’s departure had really shocked him to the core. First, he had never thought that someone so close would just up and leave. Second, Xie Lian had always believed in “forever”. For example, friends would always be friends forever; no betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there’d be times when they’d part, but it for sure wouldn’t be over reasons like “life is too horrible” - pain. just pain. same as above i get it but it hurts

“Xie Lian didn’t know too well just how much money would be considered normal when buying over ten lanterns, and he never looked at the price tag when he purchased things in the past.” - i feel bad kicking him while he’s down and he’s still trying to be kind even when it costs him but this is the first thing that came into my mind

but also oh?? spirits of soldiers from the battlefield you say?? hmmm i wonder... who.... could possibly be among them....

“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said. The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.” - i cant lie this legit gave me goosebumps lol

“Xie Lian himself was alright in suffering through it, since there were far too many other things to worry about. But his mother, who had lived a comfortable, luxurious life, when had she ever done such crude labour? But if the queen didn’t do this work herself, who else could take over?” - hmmmm!!! housekeeping!!!! it matters!!!! rich people dont appreciate how much until they have to do it themselves!!! but this still makes me sad

oh god THATS when they pawned hongjing?? with the king sick and mu qing leaving?? :(((( even more emotional about its appearances in the present day

“That passerby chuckled. “You don’t know? This is too exciting! The servant is beating the master!” - oh god the dramatic and ironic timing of it all

god..... this is just... a sad time....

“MU QING ISN’T LIKE YOU ALL. HE’S MY FRIEND, HE WOULD NEVER HELP YOU!!!” [cut to] “Those were the only words echoing in Xie Lian’s mind, but he couldn’t utter a single sound, and could only crazily grab at anything at his disposal to throw. He didn’t care who he was hurling at, either. Finally, Mu Qing couldn’t take this anymore, and he steeled his face as he swept his sleeves and left. Xie Lian panted harshly for a bit and fell back down, spacing out again.”- IM SAD!!!!!! tbh i wonder if on some level xie lian kind of felt like mu qing owed him? i know he said to forget about that stuff to both of them but its one thinig to say it and think you mean it and another to have to deal with it

white no-face what is your DEAL!! also all the little fire ghost bits im...

“After having exchanged so many words, Feng Xin finally got the gist of what had transpired. He widened his eyes and pointed at Mu Qing, unable to speak. A moment later, he bent down and grabbed a sack and flung it over, roaring. “SCRAM! SCRAM SCRAM SCRAM!” Mu Qing was hit in the face by the sacks of rice he brought and backed two steps away. All three of them in the house were panting harshly.” - this is it this is the part where i closed my laptop and said “noOOooOOOoooo” out loud to my room im so upset... and mu qing still tried to leave the rice even after the broom thing im ;_;

“Feng Xin was completely convinced that he would never do such a thing, but that was precisely why this had become the worst-case scenario!” - pain, suffering, dismay, etc

“Feng Xin continued, “If Your Highness thinks your life might be in danger, I can finish this for you, I won’t tell Her Majesty, haha.” - bless your heart for trying feng xin

“But it shouldn’t be like this. The Feng Xin of the past would have absolute faith in him no matter what! Even if there was only twenty percent doubt, it was still unbearable!” - AHHHHHHH okay idk if i really have much to say about their relationship other than im sad but IM SAD!!!!

the differences between feng xin and mu qing’s relationship with xie lian are so interesting. feng xin has clearly always idolized xie lian a lot while mu qing hasnt at least not in the same way and he seems like he has some resentment towards xie lian (thats how i read it anyway thats what i said about it at the beginning of book 2 and i think its understandable and can be a very real part of friendships) that feng xin doesnt and i just think thats neat!!

“He was firmly tied down upon the altar, that broken base of the statue under his body. There were many people squeezed below the altar, and pair after pair of round, unblinking eyes were watching him.” - hmmm dont think i like where this is going

“Yet, before he could finish, he realized that the white silk that he used to cover his face had been undone. In this moment, the thing that had him completely tied down was that exact white silk.” oh my god wait is this ruoye?? is ruoye that same ribbon???? ill cry

“The hand stained with blood, the one that ended a life, was immune to the Face Disease.” - ohhh shit okay. okay okay. okay. shit okay. i See now.... so if youre an innocent civilian the only way to escape this fate (and the faces are actually the souls of other innocent civilians) is to get rid of your innocence... and doesnt this disease not actually hurt its just horrific? god.............

“White No-Face pitied, “You think they don’t want to do it? Wrong, it’s not that they don’t want to, it’s solely because no one wants to be the first, that’s all.” - shut up!!! youre the one who created this situation dont fucking preach about the way you think the world is

“He forced down the mouthful of blood and hissed, “What are you laughing at? You think that you got what you wanted? This was all forced by you!” The ghost fire within the ghost’s hand flickered even more fiercely.” - yes exactly!!! you put people in extreme circumstances sometimes they do extreme things!! youve proved nothing!! god i do love when characters say exactly what im thinking. plus the first ones who caved were trying to save their child

“He felt that, if he was to let them do what they wanted, there was something in his heart that would never return to its original state.” - :( also i kind of feel that in my life sometimes and i just hope xie lian’s heart ends up in a state he’s happy with

“He didn’t dare to look at what had become of the person lying on the altar, because what laid there didn’t look human anymore.” AHHHHHH!!! :(((( i mean i get why this event is what made hc... level up??? thats not a good way to describe it fjasldkfjaslk but you know what i mean... that line about being powerless to help your beloved OOOOOOF

okay well finished that chapter im. pain. hmmm. pain. i dont know if i actually have any words rn lol but im gonna stop here for now

#half of my commentary is just me going wow im sad!! this is sad!! pain!! wow sad!!!#anyway i love xianle trio with my whole heart they really do feel so real #mouse mumbles #tgcf liveblog #hc also feels real but in a way i might not ever talk about lol we'll see

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hellbabyfromhell · 4 years

Note

why (if you don’t mind me asking) is your house taking such a large toll on your mental health? Im sure you’ve explained it already but... I’m out of the loop

i havent explained it, and tbh i didnt explain it to my friends fr a long time because i felt guilty AND embarrassed even though i should have just been madif you happen to know these people irl, i respectfully ask you dont share this with them. i need to speak to them at my own time in my own way. its long

basically my (then gf, now ex’s) fmaily “took me in” right after my dad traumatically died right in front of me and ruined my brain. i was all fucked up and they “took me in”. i felt very safe with them. but the way it ended up was with them bleeding me dry with money because ive been paying my ex’s rent since my dad died, and if you know me you know thats a long, long time. now, i felt that i owed it to them because they took care of me when my dad died, and that kept me from changing things despite everyone’s warnings, saying they were using and taking advantage of me. but they called me their daughter, they cared about me, i thought. but it really went downhill abruptly......it started with small disrespects. first off, i’m paying half the rent of this townhome for an uninsulated attic with no central air or heat on the third floor. it is alternatingly freezing and fucking makes-you-nauseous hot. this family tried to convince me that i had vents and they were just covered by my trash lol and thats why my attic is worth [REDACTED] (its too much). when i literally showed them the floor plans and there was no vent they basically just went Oh.

Then, they changed my name on the neflix account to my ex’s mom’s mom’s name, because there were too many people on the netflix to make a new profile, so they changed MY name, rather than rowan’s boyfriend or their random ass friend, ME, who pays HALF THE RENT AT THIS HOUSE. that seems petty but its like, im really the least important out of everyone?then came the thing that made me really start reviewing my situation:my ex asked to come over, and they said yes. THEY said yes. not me. this was like maybe a week or two max after we broke up. ex’s mom texted me to say “okay, he’s coming over” and i was like “:0( okay thats fine but i wish you’d told me before cementing down stuff because thats a little inconsiderate” and she was like “Well it would have been inconsiderate of me not to tell you at all.” I thought that was really disrespectful bcause like, they REALLY didnt know our situation at all, and i live on the third floor so if i needed something from the kitchen or something id have to walk past my ex because my ex and my ex’s mom wanted to be fucking friends. it was weird and rude and she would NOT budge on the idea of INVITING MY EX INTO MY HOME WITHOUT CONFIRMING WITH ME being rude!!!!!and then i started looking back, and likethis is one of the worst things, like a couple months after my dad died, i was like catatonic, barely present, sick with grief and majorly traumatized. and these people had me sel my father’s car, with everything in it, so that my ex could get a new car “to drive me around safer : )”...... now i have to BEG to get a ride down the street to baskin robbins unless someone themself needs something. i gave up my father’s car and everything inside of it for this, and they let me. at the time it hurt too much to look at but i wish with everything i could have what i left in that car. i will never forgive them for that. i have so little of him and some of out favorite things were in that car and i know they knew that.ive mentioned moving out a couple times and they always say “well give 2 months notice!” done. i have. but they kept saying i needed to stay longer or convincing me it was bad to leave until the ex’s mom’s bf needed surgery and then now i cant leave till after january. i wasnt happy about this at all but i was like Okay well i guessbut then the other night, the ex’s mom’s bf (who has his own medical card) had the audacity to get mad at me for not wanting to get him a bunch vape carts from the dispensary i JUST got hired at even though id just bought a lot, AND HE WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE SMOKING!!!. he asked me a favor and i said i was uncomfy with it and he went fucking off on me.

this is a little snippet. i know you dont know everything just from what im telling you, but what i can say i have done a TON for this family, and this is NOT the only thing he has asked me for, and i don’t know if the doctor prescribed him crack rock because all he does is sit in the living room and watch kill la kill. i was so disappointed in him because i thought he was least complicit and it turns out he hd some issue with me. i’ve done a lot for this family. it was really hurtful.since this i never leave my room, they rarely address me if i do or look right through me. the ex’s mom’s bf asked to speak once in a way that implied that he expected a sorry from me too. you ma believe this to be once sided, but i believe with my whole heart i have done not a thing wrong. i don’t want to apologize. it’s been about 5 weeks now i feel like and they have barely spoken to me. they laugh wildly downstairs and don’t feel even a bit bad that i never come downstairs. that i have to rush around to get packages. that i never use the kitchen or am anywhere near it (not that id want to be because its always stacked high with dirty dishes). my ex’s mom lost her job staying home too much from an illness that shouldnt affect her working since she works a desk job an all she does at home is sit on the couch, do nails, ply overwatch, watch safiya nyagaard and hang out with their friends. i never go downstairs because i feel like its not my home. also my ex’s mom’s bf walks around all hours of the night now so i never feel safe to go downstairs EVER so i ration water and food and when i go to te bathroom people jiggle the doorknob and i say IM IN HERE :0( and also my ex’s mom’s bf walks around puking with the door open and blowing his nose (he did this pre surgery too) and i just am going crazy here i have to get out. they dont give a shit about me . i dont know if i sound entitled, but it really does suck but i feel so trapped. this isnt my house. OH , and when i sked about moving out ex’s mom said well if we all paid the same amoun it’d be [200 less] . theyre using me and dont care and i hate being here and it’s making me really want to die. thank you, it kinda felt good to let that out

#broverload #old roommates

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jojobeaner · 5 years

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This was supposed to become Raunch Pike... But it became Soft Pike instead...

Wrote this a few days ago but never posted it because I suck. That and I wonder how many people really care.

I love my soft dark boys...

This was supposed to become trashy raunch... Buuuuuut... Mike ruined the moment...

----------

‘You’re fucking kidding me…’ Pete muttered under his breath, staring at the screen of his cellphone. Staring at the heart emojis and stupid idiotic sticker of a sparkling bat.

Why.

-Fine then- he replied back eventually. -Meet out back after you’re done your stupid class and we'll--

He didn't want to finish typing out that respond and just quickly hit ‘send’. He could feel his stomach lurch, and shook himself.

All he got sent back was a handful of heart emojis that started to take up his screen.

This better be fucking worth it.

‘Has it really been that long? You're that desperate?’ A voice inside Pete's head was snide and full of distaste. Another voice was more practical. ‘Just… do this. Have some mediocre sex. Get it out of your system. And move on.’

That was the plan.

---

After classes ended for the day, Mike found Pete out back smoking in the alley between the trades building and the main building, hunched over in on himself with a hand in his pocket and the other fidgeting with the cigarette.

The vampire smiled, hefting his backpack further up his shoulder and reached out a fingerless gloved hand to pluck the cigarette from the redhead's lips.

That got the goths attention and he glared up at the taller boy. “Excuse me?!”

“Hello! I hope you weren’t waiting too long for me Peter!”

Violet eyes narrowed. Too happy, this boy's smile was too wide and his voice was too loud. He snatched the cigarette back from the stupid dumb vampire before he did something stupid like throw it out. “Give that back.” Another long drag of nicotine. “And shut the hell up. Come with me.”

With that he turned and started heading off the school property. He didn't need to look behind him to know the other was trailing after him like a puppy. That's just what had been happening lately.

“Sorry I didn't skip last class with you Peter… but I really need to ace that midterm per se… You know how it is…” was he still rambling?

Pete sneered. “I dont actually. Aren't you like top of your class already anyway?”

“Maybe? But… I study. I do my best.”

“Waste of time…” like this conversation was. “Thought I told you to be quiet.”

“S-sorry…! I'm just… nervous?” Mike’s laugh was stilted, definitely full of nervous energy, but cute. Pete groaned.

He hated this.

Mike's long legs had no problems catching up to Pete and in no time they were walking side by side in an almost uncomfortable stifling silence. A quick glance over at the dark haired boy confirmed that he was nervously chewing on his bottom lip and holding onto the straps of his backpack tightly… as if trying to hold himself back from doing something.

Something stupid he bet.

“C'mon” Pete's voice was quiet, but he jerked his head over in the direction of where he lived. “It's just a few more minutes this way…”

Green eyes and violet eyes met, and Pete suddenly felt those butterflies again. And he tried his best to squish every single one of them with the heel of his shoe.

“O-okay.” Mike's voice was equally soft, and Pete watched his throat as he swallowed. He wanted to just close the gap, kiss that stupid fanged mouth that was already a little swollen…

Instead Pete pulled another cigarette from the carton in his pocket.

---

“Nobody's home? Your parents…?”

Pete scoffed as he unlocked the door of the trailer and reached out a hand to pull Mike into his home. He didnt think about how warm the leather of the gloves Mike wore was, or how their fingers instantly slotted together perfectly. He swallowed back everything and tugged the boy forward. “No one's ever home. It's fine. We have the place to ourselves. C’mon. Eyes forward.”

He pulled the vampire along the small space towards the back of the trailer where his bedroom was and slid the door open, almost pushing the other boy inside.

Mike stumbled inside, reaching out to try and find something to grab onto to halt his fall. The room was dark, illuminated only by the natural light in the hallway. The one small window in the room was blacked out with a heavy black sheet.

“Stay here. I'll be right back. Don't… touch anything.”

And Pete was gone.

---

In the darkness Mike started to panic. What was he doing?? Annie told him right away that this was a baaaad idea… He remembered that clearly.

“He wants to what? No. No way. This is so bad.”

Mike didn't really understand what was so bad. Sure it was… sudden? And… they were barely even a thing. Just a speck of what might be a relationship if given time but…

Pete had propositioned him. For sex. Bluntly… in true Pete fashion, over a text message.

“This is classic ‘he just wants to bang you and leave you’ territory you know that right?” Annie's voice was a loud whisper. They were in class after all, and she didn't want anyone to overhear.

Luckily the lecture was over and they were just working on their assignments… that's why he checked his phone in the first place, it made a bell chime noise that was just for Pete's messages…

Bang him and leave him? “Peter can't get rid of me that easily.” He was confident in that. Pete may try and push him away, but he also knew that it was the goths defensive reflexes that did that. He was well aware of the walls the other built up. But he was also learning how to slowly take them down.

Mike was patient. He was resilient. He could bide his time. He wouldn't give up.

Annie looked skeptical. “You're really going to do this? It's so sketchy.”

"I'll think about it.” Mike gave a noncommittal shrug, smiling mysteriously, but inside his heart was racing. There was no way he was going to let this chance slip through his fingers… He'd been fantasizing about something like this for so long… and now that it was in front of him… he felt like being a little reckless with his heart.

Pete was worth it.

The light from the hallway helped him find the bed, and he sat down on the low mattress, feeling the coarse texture of the wool blanket under him. Mike frowned. That would have to go.

Twisting his body, he pulled the rough blanket off. The blanket underneath that was still… less than his ideal, but passable… he knew he was used to his own bed with its silk sheets…

He made a plan of getting Pete something nice and soft as a gift. The boy deserved something luxurious.

That was when he saw the little bulbs of christmas lights stapled to the wall… a whole string of them… the plug over near the pillows. He reached over to plug them in and the small space erupted in a warm red, blue, green glow… Mike gasped. It felt magical.

With more light he picked out more of the room: a small desk that was mostly covered in books, cds and notebooks, probably filled with Pete's handwriting… an acoustic guitar was propped against the wall, and there was some small different piles of grey and black clothing on the floor. Mike smiled warmly. This was a place where Pete could be himself… and in the warm glow of the little lights, he fell back onto the mattress, and couldn't help but inhale the musky, smokey scent that could only belong to Pete. He could die happily in this place.

And that was the image Pete came back to… his bedroom illuminated by his soft lights… and Mike almost just curled up on his bed, booted feet still respectfully hanging off the edge onto the floor.

This isn't turning out how he had planned at all. Pete wanted to scream. But he also wanted to curl up right beside that boy laying so peacefully on his bed… dark hair splayed on the pillow, smile gracing those soft soft looking lips.

The door to his bedroom slid shut with a ‘whumpth’ and Mike startled, opening his eyes. He didn't realize he had drifted off and started his apology but suddenly there was a ‘thump’ and a warm body curling up beside his.

“We're not cuddling. We're just taking a nap. You better not say a goddamn thing Skittle Factory.”

Mike could only nod. Pete's violet eyes were intense and he couldn't help but get lost in the way they glowed in the multicoloured light.

Pete's stare softened and he closed his eyes. “I told you not to touch anything…”

"C-can I touch you?”

A soft sigh filled the quiet of the small room, “stop asking already and just… just do it.”

Long arms slid around Pete's waist then, pulling his body up closer to Mike's and though he half-heartedly grumbled… it wasn't long before the two dozed off in each others arms

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voltron-toast · 6 years

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How can Klance still be canon?

This is what I think-

~Before I begin: If you disagree, feel free to stateso. We are all entitled to our opinions but you better share respectfully. Now, this isnt me trying to “queerbait the fandom” which Ive seen ppl saying on other posts. This is how I can see it becoming canon *if* it even was to, theres no solid evidence on the way I chose to present this but rather is my *opinion.*~

Now that that’s out of the way! Something felt off for me with Allurance. I ship it outside of canon because in canon (with the route they took) it always felt off for me. Allura rejecting over and over and suddenly in S7 changing her mind without S7 showing the progression of her new view on Lance? The lack of communication and tangible canon development has left me feeling as if this relationship was rushed story telling wise- Which is one of the reasons I still have hopes for Klance

Now the main part: How do I see this happening?

I can see the investigation of the Alteans sparking and causing Allura to focus on her people. Lance and her begin a relationship, maybe we see a time skip as Earth rebuilds or maybe not, maybe we just see them together for the first 1-5 episodes but Lance or Allura (or both!) begins to realize that long term this wouldnt work out. Allura realizes how much her people matter to her and how much Earth matters to Lance- And maybe she starts thinking of how she will stay younger for a longer period of time whereas Lance will die of old age before her- Etc etc. Past the honey moon phase of a relationship, one of them brings up these realizations and the show provides us an elegant example of a healthy break up. They continue to be amazing friends and Lance feels at a loss as ‘everything’ he thought he ever wanted didnt make him happy when he had it. Allura is busy with Alteans so Shiro steps up to support Lance when he finds out all that happens. Shiro discusses how maybe what Lance wanted wasnt what he needed and that he doesnt have to rush, just expand his horizons. There will be time to find love but dont close off all chances, just let it come to you and be open to it. Stuff like that- And thats when Lance begins to realize. He and Keith act as they always act- They grow closer and Lance feels open to the idea thats forming not only in his mind but also his heart- maybe Keith brings up Acxa and how he doesnt reciprocate her feelings and maybe how he doesnt know how to tell her/bring it up. And Lance says something along the lines of “Its best to just be honest and talk it out. You should tell her now instead of prolonging the inevitable- With war, we dont have time to waste. We dont have time to wait. I made that mistake with Allura but we fixed it. Dont do what I did” and then Keith has that lovestruck proud smile before it falters and he then confesses because Keith realizes Lance is right- And after the confession, to Lance it just feels right. He is open to it. Maybe it took him a first love that turned into a best friend, a wise leader, and someone else’s unrequited love to lead him to realize that who he needed was there since the beginning.

Or maybe not, but I dont care. In another reality, this is canon and thats fine by me. ^-^

#voltron #spoilers #klance #voltron legendary defender #vld spoilers #keith kogane #lance mcclain #shiro supports #vld season 8 #my post

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citrus-feline · 6 years

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going on facebook is always awful cuz ill want to share something with my dad but then see his most recent post is talking about “commie liberal shitheads” like. dad. is that what he thinks about me? he is definitely at least semi-aware of my political views. he’s accused me of being a communist in highschool back when i thought there was a point in talking to him about issues (but hes not going to change his mind). i dont get it either because he will get livid when i say that capitalism in its current state in america is ruining us despite being one of the people affected most by it. i grew up like hating late-capitalist ideals because i saw what my dad went thru and the hardship he endured trying to raise 3 kids all by himself when he was already having money issues. he grew up poor in a house with 5+ kids in it. is it just conditioning where he trusts a system that is so against him? he only just recently finally got a job that pays fairly for the amount of hardwork he does and his reaction to that isn’t being thankful to his hardwork or even his company, but making posts on facebook about how much he loves the president :/. dad... you’re opposed to raising min wage..... like....... he deserves the money for the work he does cuz hes like a genius with the machines he works but dude. go back 50 years and a job in a similar environment would be min wage. im happy he is getting more money but i wish he would like thank himself or his company instead of someone who perpetuates late-stage capitalism despite all of its harm.

generally i actually think my dad is okay but then i look at what he’s saying about people like me and it upsets me. i once made a post about how older people are so unsupportive to newer generations and he got so mad!! but im expected to see his posts that i can easily apply to myself and just be okay with it. im not gonna fight with my dad cuz like even the possibility of being told to move out will be really hard of my mental health and he takes care of me but........ i wish he was more respectful....... say what you will but the meanest i am to conservatives is when im venting about upsetting things i saw in the news on this website. when it comes to actually talking to people with different views i am really kind and understanding, and even on here i’ve experienced that. i’ve made angry posts before with keywords that attracted conservatives and have gotten angry asks about it before and my response is almost always “im sorry i upset you with that post, i was venting. but i am happy to have a conversation with you about this stuff.”..... i have only like once ever had someone take me up on discussing things in a mature way and separate from a personal post but i like to think that the way i handle it is respectful despite my own disbelief in those types of politics.

him going off on facebook is so bizarre to me because i’ve seen him fight with people in comments before. i’ve heard my sister (who is much stronger than me emotionally) address his posts before only to get into arguments where she will avoid visiting us for months aside from popping in after work or something. and she barely does that anymore. i dont get how he is so happy to keep making such rude posts on a platform that everyone he knows will see. i post on here knowing that maybe one or two people i know in real life will see it, if even that. and THAT makes me nervous! i’ve deleted plenty of posts i was typing up mid-rant because i realized i didnt want people who know me personally to see that! like i know looking at my blog it seems like “oh she doesnt have a filter” but i do!! like once a day i will start writing a vent post only to delete it all without ever posting because i realize it could cause some kind of misunderstanding or bitterness between me and the people i care about who check my blog.

all “bleh i hate capitalism” aside, i don’t understand the disrespect at all. i just dont. i can theoretically look at very conservative people as a group and be bitter about that, and i do sometimes, but i usually try to be mindful that people have opinions for their own reasons and i have to remember that everyone’s experience is different. despite people saying things i disagree with, i still respect them as people and i’m willing to talk about things gently. i much prefer a mature conversation about more heavy stuff as opposed to being yelled at. a mature conversation can lead to things being learned, on both sides. being so vocal about your disdain for people who you could potentially have an actual conversation with upsets me. i go off about politicians and stuff on here but for real if one of them talked to me, one-on-one, i would absolutely still be respectful despite everything i dislike about their policies and behavior as someone of power. the only time i wouldn’t treat someone with respect is if they not only treat me disrespectfully but reject my attempt at keeping things civil. and even then i would give multiple opportunities in an attempt to keep things calm and respectful. when i discuss stuff with people who i disagree with, i listen to them. lots of the time i feel the same about the issue at the end, but hearing a point of view is important. brushing all people who disagree with you away is just in bad taste in my opinion. because there are people who will not believe in what you do but also show respect despite that. there are people who will listen, even if they are secretly a little upset about what you’re saying. conversation is important in any kind of society and for one so polarized in political beliefs like ours i think it should be a requirement to show SOME kind of respect.

it just upsets me how i wont even be heard with some people, like my dad. people who are so stuck in their beliefs that they refuse to even consider looking at them critically. i know the stuff i align myself with isn’t perfect. i know some things people who are head-speakers for in the political groups i openly say i agree with aren’t always exactly what i think. and i know that lots of things won’t be treated as serious as i want them to be. focus can easily be put on things that i think should come later compared to what i care about. i know that “liberals” aren’t perfect. a lot of kids i went to school with were heavily and openly liberal and generally i agreed with them but now and then they would go too far with something, or even just be one of those people who are so up in arms about political stuff that they don’t have any real personal experience with (which is fine, i just wish they wouldn’t act like it was them being attacked instead of the actual people suffering from the real-life issues). i know my beliefs, MY personally beliefs, aren’t perfect. i used to have a lot of trouble realizing something i believed in was not what i thought it was, but now its kinda normal for me. my beliefs for lots of stuff is fluid, but of course because its me, i usually end up aligning with most “liberal” ideals (but, again, theres stuff i disagree with in those groups too). i will ride in my dad’s car where the radio is still on a political station he listens to and some of the stuff they say makes me sick because i disagree with it so much. and i like to think that my dad doesn’t believe all of that. but i dont know because whenever i’ve tried to figure out i’ve just been called a communist who hates freedom, lol. he’s not open to conversation which is really weird to me. cuz like. things change?? opinions aren’t static? people are able to look at things from different angles. its not that hard imo? maybe its just cuz im overly-empathetic but like. i dont... get how its so hard for people to put themselves in others shoes... thats what i primarily do when talking to people about stuff where theres any sort of disagreement. lots of the time ill put myself in their shoes and still come out feeling the same about the topic, but its still important to do that kind of thing to at least get SOME kind of grasp to why they believe what they do.

im not sure why im making so many long political posts lately compared to usual but i feel like this is important stuff to talk about... i dont expect anyone to change their views on shit just reading a post where im getting my frustrations out, but if anything is questionable, i want people to know that i AM open to talking about it personally. if you approach me with respect, i’d be happy to talk to you about stuff. it’s something i practice regularly with non-political stuff in my relationship and with close-friends when something touchy comes up. lots of the times core ideas aren’t changed but we all come out of that stuff with a bit more understanding of the other person and why they think what they do. people aren’t perfect and you will disagree about things. that’s why it should be handled respectfully. if i reacted the way my dad does to people trying to make conversation about more serious things, im pretty sure i wouldn’t have nearly as many friends, lol.

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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April 25th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on April 25th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Castoff by Star Prichard.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Castoff by Star Prichard~! (https://castoff-comic.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

im probably going to go with frankie's introduction. this scene fulfilled several things for me. first, it explored more of the world in a super natural way that makes complete sense to the story and gives you a better picture. second, i super love frankie. he is a great character deserving of hugs. third, i enjoy how frankie joining the party works out. it felt like so logical how everything played out despite the difficulty in getting another person to join the party naturally.

just overall though i love frankie's addition. i think his personality is a great balance to vector and arianna's personalities since both are not the friendliest of sorts since one is super shy and the other super grumpy. and i feel like frankie perfectly fits the triforce

keii4ii

That triforce analogy is great and I agree

RebelVampire

another scene i really enjoy is the one where arianna captures vector. i love the lighting on the pages because it is so ungodly ominous and really sets the mood. plus, its the first major time we get to see magic and it looks amazing (edited)

but on the frankie train, i also enjoy how he offers vector something that arianna cannot. which is knowing what its like to be feared and kind of one-of-a-kind. cause i think this makes for a beautiful friendship between the two that offers vector more emotional support in a way than arianna can't. not to mention, one of my other fave scenes is the one where vector stands up for frankie against arianna and says nah my dude, hes coming with us. that was such a significant character growth for vector that hit me right in the feels. and i think it works cause of how vector clearly empathizes with frankie, so it all ties together

mathtans

Little one seems calm in her crib now. Hiyo, and awesome to have another creator who's a teacher. ^^

RebelVampire

hi math

mathtans

I made it through 5 of the chapters. My favourites in general through that is probably the "Wait, What" moments, just because I tend to use them myself... there was the one with Zera, about Arianna's full name, and then with Arianna, who did it about Frankie coming along with them. (Also, a hint that they're related? Hmmmm.)

Zera and Arianna that is, not Arianna and Frankie.

Good point about the Frankie and Vector similarities, incidentally. I wonder if the "Frankie" name is a riff on "Frankenstein"?

There's also the fact that "Vectors" can refer to small organisms like mosquitoes that carry diseases. I feel like there's stuff going on with names.

RebelVampire

nope arianna and frankie are related now. new head canon

arianna was also a robot this whole time

mathtans

It would explain how she died.

RebelVampire

you know what, i didnt draw the connection between frankie and frankenstein

thats a good catch math

and very fitting for the character

mathtans

Though I admit my own feelings about that are Arianna's got amnesia or something, which is why she can't be tracked.

Just kinda occurred after the dramatic reveal.

Also, since I teach math, I was already suspicious of the name "vector".

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. The comic’s central character, Vector, has many mysteries surrounding him. What exactly do you think Vector is? Why is Vector seemingly able to do powerful magic beyond any mage? Why does Vector make everyone become almost possessed and panicked, and why are Arianna and Frankie exceptions? Why do you think Vector is wanted for treason? Is Arianna right that it’s a trumped up charge to get rid of him? If so, why would Alveria want him silenced? How do you think Vector wound up with Ms. Robins? Last but not least, what might all this have to do with the prologue’s opening scene?

mathtans

I got this. Vector's the guy who was tied up in the prologue, they were trying to use him to do crazy magics... and he wasn't the first, since it's implied there's others. But with him it went wrong and the magic ended up inside him. Arianna was that girl peeking at the door when it happened, so she's okay with the crazy eye thing, and it's why they thought she died. They want Vector back to undo the magic stuff, hence "treason" in order to get everyone interested.

Also, for Vector... coo coo kachew, Ms. Robins' son, Jesus loves you more than you will know. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

RebelVampire

math no XD

i also agree at least that vector is the guy from the prologue

and he got all the magic trapped inside him

and is now super magic baby

he is the living essence of magic

and the voice hes been hearing is the soul of magic

RumSoakedChicken

^^^

mathtans

Maybe it was a big plan to try to bring magic to the other parts of the world that went very bad.

RumSoakedChicken

but perhaps the yellow eyed one recieved a part of the magic

since i bleieve there was a lot of light paths coming off

and he was the first one we meet

mathtans

Speaking of which, massive props to starting things out with the failed radio-like device at the start. To put us into the frame of mind of magic. Sets the scene real well and acts as a misdirect later when you realize it's not worldwide.

There was actually a bunch of sneaky stuff then, like the mention of "Feron" ages and ages before it came up again. (Honestly, if the creator hadn't pointed that out, I'd have missed it.)

RebelVampire

i really need to go back and examine the prologue closely.

mathtans

I meant this part: https://castoff-comic.com/comic/chapter-1-page-8/

RebelVampire

ah. that is smart. good catch in details!

actually i take my theory back. reexamining the prologue, i dont think vector was the guy tied to the chair. but i do think hes basically an aspect of pure magic. and i agree that given all the light balls coming off the event, there are probably more of vector's kind out there(edited)

but since vector is an aspect of magic, thats why he has the effect he does. like maybe yellow magic is the magic of fear

vector was a yellow lantern all along

mathtans

Oh, that's an interesting idea. I like that. Since magic is colour based in this world.

(Zera is Green Lantern?)

RebelVampire

yeah see this is just an origin of the lantern corps story.

but i think vector being an essence of magic ties in all the dots. but rather than the voice being the soul of magic, maybe its the guy who probably got killed during that event.

mathtans

So how is Arianna red if zombies are supposed to be black lanterns...

RebelVampire

though if there are more vector's, youd think theres be more wanted posters. unless vector is the only one they never found

cause shes not a zombie probably

mathtans

There was no picture of Vector since he was just a wee one at the time. And I think it was said he was the only one with no image. The others they had pictures for. So if they weren't found, they're probably in hiding.

Probably amnesia. Zombie is a fun thought though.

RebelVampire

i mean its not impossible for her to be a zombie.

mathtans

An amnesiac zombie?

RebelVampire

another point for why i love vector and frankie's relationship though, if we go through this vector is magic theory, it means he and frankie are polar opposites. making their friendship more beautiful

best of both worlds i see

i can respect that

mathtans

That's pretty cool, actually. Do you ship them?

RebelVampire

i dont think i ship vector with anyone yet cause vector has to do some character growth first.

mathtans

Fair. (I think all I can ship is Arianna and Sonja. And the latter seems to have a thing for Zera.)

I do like Arianna's nickname habit.

kayotics

Popping in late to say Arianna is my fav because I’m a sucker for angry girls

mathtans

Hi kay. Cool. She seems to have had a harsh childhood.

RebelVampire

i wonder what her nickname for zera would be

maybe raccoon

cause of the dark circles

mathtans

She seemed to know him, from Zera's mental flashback. She was saying things were his fault. So maybe "jerkface".

RebelVampire

that is also plausible

actually tbf, double plausible

cause i doubt shes gonna be happy to know hes the reason shes wanted

whereas if he had just left it alone everything would be fine

and only vector would be the wanted man

mathtans

Yeah, puts a wrench into her plans. Whatever those are.

Maybe she's trying to find out her true identity. What with the amnesia.

(I should fix this broken record.)

RebelVampire

the plot twist is zera was what she wanted to steal back all along

QUESTION 3. Besides Vector, Arianna herself has some mysteries surrounding her. Who exactly is Arianna? Is she the real Arianna Marcel, or did she steal the name? If the latter, why would she steal it? Who is the real Arianna Marcel to Zera? What do you think will happen when Zera catches up with Arianna in his quest for truth? How do you think Arianna wound up on the streets as she mentions regarding her past? What do you think Arianna is after in the capital, and why was it taken from her? Ultimately, how do you think Arianna’s quest to retrieve her stolen property will interfere with her taking care of Vector and getting him home?

arianna is probably that person whose name got covered up by the speech bubble on that one page. and i think arianna took the name out of sorrow for missing who im just gonna assume is her sister. cause she desperately wished she was the one who was dead

mathtans

All you other Arianna's are just imitating so won't the real Arianna please stand up, please stand up...

I'm not sure which name coverup you mean, but I think it is clever how the art does faded bubbles for when someone's half unconscious or when someone's talking over someone else.

I do feel like Arianna's the real one though. And that she was the one spying in the prologue, as I said.

RebelVampire

i will try to find the page im talking about

the alternate is that she is the real arianna and the one who dies was her sister. i dont discount that

given the same last name i assume siblings tho?

in regards to the relationship between zera and her

mathtans

Tempting. Could be cousins.

RebelVampire

https://castoff-comic.com/comic/chapter-5-page-11/

that page bottom right

so there is clearly someone else with the marcel named that exists or once existed

mathtans

Ahhhh! So that's the mystery sister.

(Incidentally, been reading Chapter 6 in the background here. Elves are colour-coded too... makes me wonder if it's personality based or what.)

RebelVampire

i think when zera catches up to arianna hes gonna have a my life is a lie conflict and realize that whether shes the real one or not, he was never told everything about the death. cause the death of the real or fake arianna i think has a lot to do with why she was on the streets

i did get the impression the auras were based on personality

like arianna is super angry therefore gets the red magic

i feel somewhere it was mentioned real arianna's aura was pink?

which is why i do think this arianna is the sister of the real arianna. that apparently zera didnt care about at all. for shame zera. especially cause if i knew there was another marcel id be searching for that one to make sure there were no shenanigans

mathtans

Yeah, Zera said pink. Which is close, which is why I think she was just mentally tweaked a bit. Also, Arianna's eyes do the red glow thing, and I don't think that's necessarily true of others doing casting?

Starfish

Okay I’m back from class Will have to leave again in a bit but I just caught up reading everything and I’m enjoying all the theories

mathtans

Yay class! Next comes the grading. What a life. ^.^

Starfish

Ehehe, I’m technically an assistant teacher so no grading for me~

I’m an assistant ESL teacher in Japan- my part of teaching is mostly “get the kids to practice their English” via games and stuff

mathtans

Fair enough. Didn't mean to vector us off track. ^.^ Incidentally, I originally thought that maybe Vector's power didn't work on Frankie because he only had the one eye, so the eyepatch was saving him. Until the whole metal revelation.

biab

RebelVampire

ya know tbf that was a decent theory before the metal reveal.

im sticking with our arianna being fake and think shes after something of the real arianna's. like a magic gem or something. i do think down the line arianna is gonna have to pick which is more important: the thing she was trying to get or vector. and i think shell be a good person and pick vector cause shes growing and learning its not cool to sacrifice ppl for your aims

on a side note i hope we get to meet her merc company

im interested to see them(edited)

mathtans

Maybe they have gem boasting nights out. "Mine's bigger" and all that.

RebelVampire

i hope thats true somewhere in the comic's world XD

mathtans

It might be why people are annoyed at the elves.

Heh, "Best Friends plus Arianna", nice one. Made it to Chapter 7.

RebelVampire

i found it interesting that even the elves freaked out at vector. cause the minute they appeared that was the largest question on my mind. if theyd be effected or not

QUESTION 4. Of course, there are a few other mysteries present within the story. Do you think there is any story related reason only some continents in the world have magic? Why do you think Frankie, a machine, was created? Further, what is Frankie doing in Kardia in the first place? How do you think Frankie might help or hinder Vector and Arianna getting back to Alveria, especially since he’ll be aiding criminals? Back in Alveria, why do you think General Brisse was so critical of Zera? Do you think he might know something the others don’t? Overall, what do you think will happen once the characters are back in Alveria? Who will side with who on this matter?

i do think the lack of magic might be related. but i kind of think maybe its the opposite to what was already stated. and that the ppl in the prologue were trying to monopolize magic so they could be the superior country

mathtans

I think Frankie coming to Kardia is related to his injuries. Like he escaped from his creators or something. That's why they couldn't fix him and he had to do it himself.

Hmmm, maybe there's some big magic/tech war going on in the background and only the General is in on it. The magic people are temporarily undefended what with Vector having most of the magic bottled away, hence why their shield is only around their castle and not the whole capitol, and why they want Vector back - or dead, if that would spread the magic around.

RebelVampire

i considered that as a possibility. cause usually magic and tech are at war. and weve already seen evidence that magic users think tech is dumb cause how silly of ppl to want things that magic can already do.

but also math how dare you suggest frankie has such a tragic past

hes too innocent for that

and i have to go weep in the corner for him now

frankie was probably created with not good intentions. i mean i could pretend he was meant to test the legs of tech and see how far they could go. more likely they just wanted a robot assassin

am i the only one who things brisse has something to do with arianna's death? cause he seemed really critical of what is actually a good lead to finding a criminal he super wants. and i mean it could just be the last name thing, but i still get the impression he knows something

mathtans

Aw. I feel like all the characters have tragic pasts though. And when Frankie told his story, I did wonder why he had to fix himself up... like, did he maybe even kill his creator? And repressed the memory along with the defense personality?

I think Brisse is just pretty focussed and has probably read Zera's files. I could be wrong. Though it reminds me of Terran. I like him as a secondary character. Good puns, and good plans for circumventing things that aren't technically against the rules.

RebelVampire

yes i appreciate him having a loose interpretion of what he should and shouldnt do

i hope the creator isnt dead just for the story potential tbh

for frankie

cause thats just what they need

frankie's creator showing up to say "hey frankie what up"

and frankie can be like "oh noooooo"

mathtans

Twist, Frankie's creator is a zombie.

Still thinking about side characters actually, the scene between the bookstore woman and the priest was nice. Kind of superfluous at first glance, but it gave Vector more backstory and added more to the world.

Also confirmed not-dead.

RebelVampire

yeah i was intrigued by that scene. but tbf as a character ms robins is useful cause she can give us insight into whats going on in the capital outside of the royal guard

cause surely shell see the wanted poster at some point

and go wtf

maybe even try talking to someone

get thrown in jail

tell vector if he doesnt show up theyll assume she did the treason

i took that from happy to sad

very quickly

mathtans

That's a very good point. I hadn't considered that.

Maybe she'll meet them as they're approaching the city.

RebelVampire

yeah she could also be a key ally in helping them

cause for sure i think itll be obvious to the guards at a point theyre heading back to the capital

mathtans

She does seem very overprotective. I wondered about her reaction initially, as Arianna didn't seem so bad. Then, of course, she proved to be self-serving.

RebelVampire

after they get frankie his own wanted poster

mathtans

Wanted... for cuddling.

RebelVampire

wanted for being a great dude

mathtans

One other thing I want to mention before we wrap up is I dig the art style on the characters. I'm not quite sure what it is, the larger eyes or the hairstyles or some mix? But I like it.

Just don't get Frankie wet. He's like a gremlin.

RebelVampire

yeah i really love the art style as well. although what sells it for me is the magic. that magic circle in the prologue was beautiful with how it glowed and made me eager to see more of the magic.

but i might just be a sucker for magic circles

before we close out i do want to say i think zera will join forces with the main trio at some point

mathtans

Oh, I dig magic circles too. Big Nanoha junkie over here.

RebelVampire

cause zera does not seem like someone whod look at shady stuff going on and be like "im ok with this"

mathtans

Zera does seem to have a conscience. I think they'll butt heads first though.

RebelVampire

oh for sure

i hope terran finds something interesting in zera's file

like zera has a side career as a juggler once

mathtans

He finds... a magic square!

(Hey, if colours can vary, why not shapes. )

RebelVampire

ya know what, despite that being a joke thatd be very interesting

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Star Prichard, as well, for making Castoff. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Star Prichard’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://castoff-comic.com/

Star’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/castoff

Castoff’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/CastoffComic

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #castoff #star prichard

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kimbaa · 7 years

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honestly i cannot get over this shit lol

I cant believe my aunt, my dad’s sister, who promised to try and keep in contact with me and my brother more after my dad passed away would really be this mad at me for donating to ACLU and getting a great portfolio review from a director

like i have NEVER had contact with that side of my family my whole fucking life and when i heard alot of them wanted to start reaching out to me and brad i was really happy, but i honestly would like more family to me around and have more support in my life.

My dad passed away a year ago in april, and literally my aunt has not called, texted, even liked any posts on my facebook UNTIL she realized I didnt have the same fews as hers. Im a stubborn ass person so alot of racism and Islamophobia I just dont stand for, and I will go against people who talk that way... I guess after trying to prove to her that how trump thinks is wrong she honestly couldnt stand me lol.

because after that alot of my posts going against trump, she would share and talk about how “horrible” the Muslims are and how everything is “fake news” (when all her shit comes from a literal website called imright.com and you can google each article to see they are all fake and clickbate) but NO im the fucking stupid one. IM the fucking gullible one.

But then i decided she really isnt worth my time and isnt going to change her ways and the protests are going well and i donated. so i tried to not think about it. but i saw she shared a post of mine AGAIN and on it it was saying how people with my point of view are “libtard special snowflakes who are too young to know anything” and that honestly already pissed me off a ton. but then I was looking through her news feed and saw SHE POSTED A STATUS SAYING ME AND MY BROTHER CALLED HER A FASCIST IMMORAL NAZI

like honestly.... wtf. You insult my friends, my point of view, my intellgence but during our discussions we NEVER disrespected you and you go and say that shit about us??? She NEVER gave a shit about us, and honestly other then my big sister I dont think anyone from my dads side would. Just after my dad passing away and with how much SHIT he tried to do to me and then I tried to make things better before his passing and giving his family the benefit of a doubt it just sees so pointless to me.... like idk im just ranting now but im just so hurt my aunt would say those awful things about other people, then when i respectfully talk to her she treats me like a god damn idiot, talks shit about me that isnt even true, then when i post a status that ultimately could me in my career she does the “angry” reaction to it on facebook just because it came from donating to the aclu... FUCK you auntie you never gave a shit about me or my brother, or even my big sister. i cant believe i thought you would care about us.

#long post #personal #//death mention #//politics #//family issues

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citanasworld · 4 years

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I just realized I have never posted an original work so i guess i can now 😅, be gentle i haven't written in years (literally like 7/8 years) and this was the first thing i came back with

There they were sitting across a table avoiding eye contact as they separately counted down to what would be the most uncomfortable emotional situation either had been put in.

Their mutual friend Darron walked into the room to explain exactly why he brought both of them together in this awkwardly painful reunion.

"Alrightt, Lunaa.. Natee, I think it's about time you 2 talked. I don't care if you walk out of here friends or not but I've heard 2 very different stories and you need to explain how you feel to one another because your constant fighting and negative energy anytime you see each other is starting to affect not only me but everyone. So talk it out, RESPECTFULLY." He made immediate eye contact with Luna knowing she was they type in fights to go for the low blow. He walked out and closed the door slowly while Luna and Nate turned to make eye contact for the first time since they had been put into this room together.

"Luna i know we didn't end on super great terms last time we spo-" Nate was cut off mid sentence when Luna had burts out laughing

"When was that? Ohhh yeah when you disrespected my fiancé in an attempt to get me angry? Yeah i wouldn't say we ended on 'super great terms' Nathaniel." She said the last part sarcastically rolling her eyes and looking towards the door.

"Haa, well i meant more so the part where you threatened to 'knock everything last tooth and brain cell out of my skull' or do you not remember that part doll"

Her head snapped back immediately and she looked furious "Oh i remember that clearly and it was 'fucking skull' if you want to quote me at least quote me accurately. And NEVER... call me doll again" she leaned in close speaking the last part very articulatly to make her point clear.

"Alright, alright I'll back off; however i see you're still as fiesty as ever" he continued before she could interrupt with a comeback "look my version of this is pretty cut and dry so I'll tell you mine you tell me yours and if we can't see eachothers sides you can walk out that door and we never have to speak again. Deal? For Darrons sake?" He reached his hand out to shake on the terms with a smile

"For darron. And i will leave.." he reached out and grabbed her hand. "I hate you, just so you know." Luna spat at him while pulling her hand back to her side and making a face and Nate. To which he replied with a sincere smile, "oh, darling.. you break my heart" he said light heartedly to try to ease the tension

"You don't have a heart to break." She replied shortly showing absolutely no emotion whatsoever.

His smile grew back to the emotionless frown he always wore

"Alright have it your way."

"Always have, haven't I"

"Snarky as ever.. alright fine" Nate began glaring at Luna knowing she was an empath and that she could only have this emotional blockade up for a short time before it came tumbling down and she would feel all the pain and despair she caused him.

"The way i see it we were friends, and then all of a sudden Simon is the center of your universe and you could give a fuck less about me. Then i try to come to you because i miss you and you say there's some deeper problem. If there was a deeper problem why didnt you just come to me? I just wa-"

"WHY DIDNT I JUST COME TO YOU? NATHANIEL DO NOT START WITH ME." She exclaimed, surprised he even had the audacity to act like she was the villan of this story.

"Alright if I'm explaining this incorrectly maybe you should tell me how things 'reallly were' brat."

"Ohkay well let's start with where things actually went wrong you fucking ingrate. Lets start with the fact that I have loved you and wanted to do everything for you and that was apparently not enough. Lets star-"

"Alright doll, get on with it. Tell me what exactly it is i did to make you go from loving me as much as you did to hating my guts and seeing me as this evil narcissistic demon you paint me out to be."

"Nathaniel. Let me make one thing clear before i tell you exactly how i see things. I don't hate you, unfortunately no matter how much i try i cant bring myself to hate you or stop caring about you even though you strung me along for years and shattered my god damn heart, i still cant fucking hate you. And if you genuinely think i do then I'm sorry but you're just stupid."

"Pfftt could have fooled me. I think the cold shoulder you've been giving me these past few years gave me frostbite" Nate said with a smile hoping he could get Luna to crack even the faintest smile, he hadn't seen her smile in 3 years and he missed it so much.

"I'm not in the mood for jokes.. look i loved you so fucking much i would do anything to make you happy. We had constant bickering of who loved who more and things were great. Then i move 10 hours away and its the most painful, heartbreaking, gut wrenching thing i ever experienced and you just disappear, you stop talking to me everyday and I'm lucky if i got a response once every other week and maybe a video call with you and Darron once a month and that's being generous to you. And then while being heartbroken that the person i loved basically just disappeared on me then Elaine had to tell me her sister saw you out with NOT ONE. BUT TWO DIFFERENT FUCKING GIRLS ON DATES. WHat the actual fuck was that shit Nathani-"

"Look i dont know what tale you're spinning but we were never dating and i-"

"I KNOW AND THAT'S THE WORST PART OF IT ALL. I LET YOU LEAD ME ON IN HOPES ONE DAY YOU'D STOP FUCKING EVERYTHING WITH A FUCKING HOLE AND WOULD ACTUALLY SETTLE DOWN AND LOVE ME BECAUSE 'YoU lOvEd Me MoRe TiMeS iNfInItY aNd YoU aLwAyS wIlL' you fucking ungrateful son of a bitch you made me fall for you. And dont start with the i meant it as friends thing because i did not treat you like a friend and you know it. I never cuddled and kissed my other friends. I never made plans to move across the country alone with one of them and spend the rest of our lives together and you knew exactly what you were doing you FUCKING NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT" Nate snapped yelling as loud as he could; as he leaned in closer to Luna. They both just stared at each other in silence, Nate was waiting for the waterworks to start, anytime he yelled at her before she'd cry and he could comfort her and things got better but not a single tear fell.

"Nathaniel. I'm sorry I've been raising my voice but i swear to whatever the fuck god you wanna believe in that if you EVER raise your voice at me again i will fucking kill you without the slightest hesitation, do I make myself clear?"

They sat in silence as they had a stare down waiting for the other to break, but Luna grew tired of this game so she continued her point "Regardless if you meant it or not, knew what you were doing or not, you lead me on, For years, point fucking blank ohkay? I loved you and waited for you for years just to have my heart shattered. I genuinely cant tell you how many people i slept with to get over you."

This took Nate off guard and he couldn't hide the glint of jealousy that flashed across his face at the thought of her touching someone else the way she used to touch him, god just the thought of it made his stomach turn

"And after doing that and not succeeding in fucking you out of my system i was even more upset and broken" her voice broke and she had to take a second to compose herself so she wouldn't start to cry once she calmed down she continued

"Simon was the best friend that was there for me after you destroyed me. He picked up the pieces and put me back together, and didn't expect anything in return, he did it as a friend. He makes me happy and makes me feel loved-"

"Uuugghhhhh skip this part. You know how i feel about Simon." Nate groaned

"I just wanted to make it clear that he's the reason I'm back to myself and didn't end up destroying my life or overdosing to kill myself you dickhead. And i was content pretending like you never broke my heart and destroyed me. I was fine pretending like we were friends for Darrons sake. And then you saw how happy i was with Simon and decided you didnt like me loving someone other than you and made it very apparent how much you hated him. You got pissy anytime i showed him affection AND HE AND I WERE IN AN ACTUAL DEFINED RELATIONSHIP. And then when i stopped being around you because of how you were acting about simon and i you decided to drunk text me some god damn apology about how you were treating Simon and like thanks but how fucking dare you act like that's where our problems started. It was way before that. And to add fuel to the fire when i didnt accept your shitty apology you decided to misgender and deadname my boyfriend to try and what? hit a nerve and get me to talk to you? Like fuck off you egotistical self centered prick. But whatever at this point I've come to expect nothing less of you."

Tears were welling up and she couldn't hold them back any longer. Nathaniel took a moment and watched her, studied her face to see if there was any feeling towards him that wasnt hurt or anger that was salvageable

"..I'm sorry I made you feel that way about me. But i still love you and care about you Luna. I never stopped, even when we didn't talk for weeks i was always thinking about yo-"

"I tried to talk to you every single day Nathaniel. If you miss someone you talk to them not ignore them and fuck anything with a pulse"

"okay.. that's fair i deserve that. But please stop rebutting everything i say its not progressing this conversation..unless your plan is to spend the rest of our lives in this room arguing which with you doesn't sound to bad, doll" he threw in a wink and reached for Lunas hands. She pulled them back before he could even reach her hands "what the fuck did i say about that name" "awhh come on Luna i know that's your favorite nickname"

"YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME THAT."

"Does Simon call you that now? Or is it still my special nickname"

"Simon knows that being called Doll makes my stomach turn amd my skin crawl." she looked Nate up and down to emphasize her point "for obvious reasons." Nate simply smiled "Luna keep up this tough girl act i like the look of it on you. But we both know underneath that tough shielded exterior is my soft babydoll that just wants love and acceptance from everyone that lays their eyes on her no-" "You think you know me but you know who i used to be. That 'soft doll' you love so much? You killed her, a long time ago and I've changed"

"Show me the new you then. I can promise I'll love any version of you as long as its you"

"STOP..saying you love me Nate you're trying to get in my head." She looked away from him and tried to pretend like she didnt still care. Nate reached out and turned her to face him "you and i both know i mean it Lunabel, i will always love and care for you. Thats why darron wanted us to talk things out. Please believe me I've changed, i go to therapy, i haven't touched any drugs or alcohol in a year, and im working on my problems. I know you dont want me in that way but i need to be part of your life Lun, i cant stop thinking about you. You were my best friend, the person i went to for anything without fear of judgment please don't take the only light in my life away from me."

"Nathaniel.. you know I'll never stop loving you but we're toxic to each other and only make one another spiral down. We just bring out the worst in eachother, and frankly, I don't like who you turn me into." He looked down defeated knowing where this was going to lead, but she pulled his face up to meet his eyes to hers "..i am.. so proud of you for getting sober Nate, words cant explain how happy i am you're getting help and bettering yourself. And I'll always care about you but i can't see a future for us where we can be close friends anymore, its not in the cards for us" he rested his head against her hand not wanting this moment to end, he missed her touch, how she could calm every ache and pain both mental and physical by just touching him. He hadn't felt a moment of peace like this since she left his life. She started to pull her hand away and instinctually he grabbed her hand and held it back to his face, tears starting to build

"fuck the cards, Luna please give me another chance as a friend please i miss you in my life and healing cant progress if i dont have you by my side"

Luna pulled her hand back to her side realizing she had made a mistake touching him like that, she felt the hair on her arms stand up and the anxiety rush up her fingertips and into her whole body, Her heart started to race and tears started to well in her eyes "Nate you and I both know you can't rely on someone else when you're trying to heal, it's not healthy on either end of the relationship; If you truly need someone to rely on that person should be Darron or a family member, not your ex-whatever I am."

Luna stood up to head for the door when Nate grabbed her hand to ask one final question, "Do you still love me Lunabel?"

There was a moment of silence as she pondered on this question, "Nate, you know the answer is yes but no amount of love can erase the past. Keep doing good and being sober, im proud of you." she pulled her hand back to herself and continued towards the door as Nate stared at her and watched her walk out of his life for the last time "I'll always love you Lunabel..." she stopped for a second to turn slightly, "I know Nathaniel.. I know." she continued out the door and walked away with the weight of a thousand tons rolling off her shoulders as she closed that chapter of her life and moved on with Simon to her happy life.

#writing #personal story #hope you like it #writers block really sucked guys #this sucks but oh well #this sucks but whatever

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the-story-of-hasan · 6 years

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I fought my family to only have them be right about you...

Your Asian you never planned to stay with me... my dad use to say us black people are something different to them something they want to experience but will never stay... I hated my father for talking about you like that b.c I thought you were different you loved me for who i am and not scared of the fact I was black. I made him see something that I guess wasnt there my dad was right. The biggest thing I'm mad at is that he was right this whole time and I try to force this girl to become something that she never wanted to. There were so many signs she never even liked me at the begin she literally said that... she talked to her ex and let him talk down about me. Then tried hiding it from you. So from the beging she wouldn't be honest. She smoked and drank did you really believe someone would give up on any of that so fast. Now she is getting drunk every now and then. I tried having drinks with her and she lies to my face and say I dont like alcohol but has getting drunk multiple times... from the start I been there when she got kicked out of her house I never left her side b.c. I wanted to be the one that protected her. I showed up to every single event that she has ever had b.c it was important and when I had an event there were multiple times she didn't even show up because she was too lazy and didnt want to walk... the last 2 times I bought her flowers she only tells the world that her mom bought her flowers and post the flowers her mom got her not mine and then on Valentine's day i got her these 24k gold roses they were so beautiful and expensive and she didnt even take a picture n showed any of them... b.c. some guy took her on a date and gave her flowers for Valentine's day...then finally the biggest thing I done that ended bad was come up with the most compromising way for both of us to move forward and that is operation green tea. It was a plan that benefits her either way I have been thinking on how i can make were she stays safe in all this drama... so the plan was that I would take melody and her mother and Henson out for a really big family dinner I was plan on spending 200-400 on Chinese bqq/hot pot in the city in cash b.c I know Asian like respect money and I would try my best to show her that there is nothing I wouldn't do for her daughter and that she can trust me to be the one that take care of them including her if she would leave her husband. I dont care about all the hate I wanted to show her mother that when you love someone as much as I love her daughter nothing can stop me from taking care of her and the people she holds near her heart. if I failed and her mother still did not want me to be with her I would respectfully just be friends with melody and maybe in the future get back together... now how can this plan backfire... well for one melody chicken out on going through with the plan...I found out I was a mistake in her eyes a weight that held her back and now she just wants to move on with her life. I was in denial about the whole thing b.c. it hurt so much hearing that. It hurt even more when I found out she has been going out to dinner and movies with other guys that say they are interested in dating her... I asked her about it all and she does what she always did from the beginning never tell me the whole truth...even the last convo we had she never answered anything and I poured my heart out and she didnt say anything. There's a song by justin bieber "that should be me" a like that said "you said you need a little time for my mistakes but it's funny how you use that time to have me replace." I always thought she was different I would bet my life on that. But I made a list on why I should hate you and why I love you and the reasons for loving is 3 times as long then this whole vent... but even though I love you I don't think we can be friends bc of the way everything ended. I really wish things were different I try making things different but that didnt seem like what you wanted. So I have to respect that.

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