#doing the overly cool adult who you just know is on some twisted shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keelywolfe · 3 years

Text

FIC: Drifters ch.9 (spicyhoney)

Summary: Enter the Other Brother. Blue, welcome home! You might be in for a surprise!

Tags: Spicyhoney, Violence, Rescued Child, Medical Experimentation, Babybones

Read it on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

Edge was not a Monster who cared very much for surprises. In his experience, they never led to anything good, not to birthday parties or unexpected gifts, but rather ambushes and dust. He preferred careful planning to the seat-of-the-pants schemes that his brother often came up with, every step made with strategy in mind.

He couldn’t say for certain if Blue was the same way, although he suspected he may be. His understanding of how the alternate worlds worked was more for the layman rather than the professional, but he wasn’t blind to the personality traits that he and Blue shared, the sort of twist in nature vs nurture that any sociologist would love to explore.

He had a fair idea of how he might react to finding this clown car of a domestic scene in his own living room and if he’d known that Stretch hadn’t even mentioned he and Red were here, much less the baby, he would have at least sent Blue a blasted text.

That might have at least braced him and given him a chance to come up with a better question than simply, “Is that a baby?”

His brother, ever the peacemaker, chose that precise to speak up, scoffingly, “sure can tell you two are brothers, ya share the same brain cell, your bro said the same damn thing. yeah, it’s a baby, good on you for noticin’.”

“blue!” Stretch scrambled upright and his bright grin was too wide, too wrong, tinged with poorly hidden guilt. “sorry, bro, i was gonna call and it slipped my mind. yeah, hey, everyone showed up on our doorstep yesterday. check out the snow princess, cute, huh?”

That much at least was the truth, but Blue didn’t seem to have heard a word of it. This wasn’t quite the reaction Edge had been braced for; he’d expected Blue to make a beeline for the baby, had been resigned to handing her over for plenty of excited cuddling and cooing.

This was something else entirely. The normal stars of his eye lights were overly bright, flashing between blue and yellow with seizure inducing intensity, set into a face that was like stone. He barely glanced at the rest of them past a brief, bizarrely sympathetic glance at Edge. The anger in his gaze was for his brother alone.

Stretch seemed equally confused, his oversized smile faltering, “bro?”

“How could you?” Blue said, his voice carrying despite its deadly softness.

“wha…me?” Stretch looked around the room as if perhaps another person had appeared, that it was to this stranger his brother spoke that way. He shrank back as Blue abruptly moved, slamming the door shut as he stalked over to the sofa, his small body radiating fury.

“How could you!?” Again, louder this time, not quite a shout but verging on one.

“coulda woulda shoulda? bro, what the hell—”

Blue ignored that, stamping his foot and sending out a spatter of rapidly melting snow from his boot to dampen the carpet. “Irresponsible!”

Stretch’s face was falling, going oddly blank, his false humor fading. Next to him, Red looked equally perturbed. “now hang on a sec, short stuff, ain’t no reason to go off on the honey bun.”

“Stay out of this!” Blue snapped and for a wonder, Red jerked back, his mouth snapping shut. His eye lights briefly guttered, leaving his sockets dark and black, returning only when Stretch spoke up next to him.

“yeah. stay out of this,” Stretch agreed, softer but no less sharp and from the look he shot Edge, he was included in that statement.

Edge said nothing and even the child was silent, a dab of runny banana sliding down her chin as she stared at the Swap brothers with wide sockets. Even if he’d wanted to intrude, this argument was between brothers and it was an unspoken rule through all the ‘verses that one did not interfere with brothers.

Despite the surface similarities, none of their relationships were exactly the same. Edge knew all too well that if he railed at Red over his laziness, his brother never took it to heart or soul. He let Edge rant, blowing off the steam that built within him throughout the day and his frustrated insults rolled off Red like water off the proverbial duck. The only fallout tended to be yet another sticky note added to the continuing line trailing away from a single, absurd sock.

Stretch was, well, lacking waterproofing. More like Edge in that way, truth be told, and if Edge could snipe at his brother all day long for his ridiculous puns and lazy ways, one genuine return jab from Red often left him deeply wounded, all the more painful for its unerring accuracy and rarity.

He wondered how he’d handle being under the weight of that much visible disappointment. Edge almost always agreed with Blue’s assessments of his brother’s behavior, but his delivery needed work and the unexpected impulse to protect Stretch from that disappointment took him off guard. He wanted to scoop Stretch up like he did the baby, hold him close, cradle him in his arms and protect him, and that was ridiculous, utterly; he was an adult, older than Edge, and yet the urge remained.

In the end, Edge could only look away, stirring the gloopy remains of the banana while the two brothers whispered furiously behind him.

“Of all the careless, irresponsible—” Blue took a deep breath, let it out, muttering out, “This is all right, this is fine. We can deal with this.” He scrubbed his gloved hands over his face and then squared his shoulders as he said, “You still should have called me.”

“probably,” Stretch agreed, and perhaps the unexpected storm had passed. He relaxed back into the sofa, the tension in the room easing. “didn’t want to interrupt your important training.” He flashed Edge a sharp glance and he tried to look as if that was the exact reasoning.

“Yes, well, that’s true,” Blue admitted. “And I appreciate you thinking of that, but next time…well, there probably won’t be a next time of this, I should hope.” Any lingering worry that Blue might object to them staying for a time vanished as Blue finally swung back to the baby, this time with a familiar, bright smile on his face as he gushed out, “Which is a shame because she is simply adorable!”

He rounded the coffee table with the haste Edge originally expected, grabby hands extended, and the moment Blue bent down to reach for her, the baby burst into sobbing howls, squirming away.

Automatically, Edge swung her up, settling her against his shoulder and patting her back gently as he soothed her with a bewildered, “There, there, it’s all right. What’s wrong?”

Blue looked as if he might burst into tears himself, stumbling back a step and his eye lights faded from stars to unhappy circles. “I didn’t mean to—"

They both turned to look at Red as he let out a harsh laugh. “what’s wrong? he scared the shit out of her coming in like that, that’s what’s wrong,” Red snorted contemptuously, “don’t you know nothin’ bout babies? you’re almost as bad as my bro.”

“Not really,” Blue admitted. Shame filled his expression as he shuffled his feet. He noticed he was still wearing his boots and sat on the floor to pull them off, carrying them over to the door and automatically straightening the other shoes before adding his. “Most of my experience with children has been seeing them from a distance.”

That gave Edge a start and he realized he’d been expecting Blue to have some sort of knowledge about childcare, though he wasn’t sure why. This world was softer and tended towards kindness, but that hardly meant it gave them any innate parenting skills.

“Well!” Blue straightened, propping his hands on his hips. “I’m sure that the Magnificent Sans can learn!”

“sure you can, bro,” Stretch said, cautiously, and that Edge could understand, being very familiar with Blue’s brand of determination.

“yeah, well, here’s your first lesson,” Red slouched back on the sofa, picking at his gold tooth with a sharpened fingertip. “babies don’t like it when ya shout.”

“yep, that’s a good place to start. you know what, i’m gonna get everyone some coffee,” Stretch announced and fled to the kitchen, the coward.

Blue paid that no mind, already came back over determinedly when he spied the bowl Edge had hastily shoved on the table. The child was watching him warily as Blue picked it up, taking hold of the little spoon. “Here, let me help!”

Before Edge could stop him, Blue tried to poke the filled spoon into her mouth. The child refused to part her teeth, leaving a smear of mushy banana across them, and Blue’s brief confidence sagged, “Oh. Um. Maybe she’s not hungry?”

“Maybe.” Edge took the bowl back and immediately she began bouncing eagerly in his lap, mouth opening wide as she made urgent little sounds.

“fuck, you two are morons,” Red snorted, because of course he would stay to bear witness. “she don’t know you. kid is small, she ain’t blind. she ain’t gonna take her banana goop from just any plain asshole, she likes an asshole she knows.”

“Yes, thank you for clarifying that for us all, brother,” Edge said sourly. Somewhat gentler, he said to Blue, “Sit with me. Let her see you, it may make her more comfortable.”

“yeah, hold out a hand and let her sniff ya, that’ll do it,” Red chuckled meanly as Stretch came back out with a tray of mugs. He set it down before smacking Red on the back of the skull.

“will you cool it on the running commentary? let them work it out.”

Red rubbed his head and scowled, but he accepted the coffee cup when Stretch handed him one. “just callin’ it how i see it.”

“yeah, well, if they give up on trying, that leaves you as mary poppins, smartass.”

“good point. my teeth are sealed.”

The child grudgingly allowed Edge to settle her back on the pillows with the unspoken promise of more food. She watched Blue warily the entire time she was eating, but he made no move towards her. He sat obediently still the entire time, his gloved hands clasped tightly together in his lap as if to stave off any impulse to scoop the baby up. If nothing else, her attention on Blue kept her from messily sharing any more of her banana.

When the bowl was scraped clean, Edge wiped the child’s chubby face clean with a damp cloth then settled her back into his lap. “You see, little one?” he told her softly, “Blue is a friend.”

“I am! I really am! Want to come here?” Blue slowly held out his hands without getting too close, waiting with impressive patience. The baby looked from him to Edge, and he tried to look encouraging.

Slowly, she held up her arms to Blue. He lifted her a little awkwardly, but managed to get her settled into the curve of his arm without intervention.

“There we go!” To Edge’s relief, Blue kept his enthusiasm at a minimum, though he practically vibrated with excitement. Almost immediately, the baby began to loudly babble and if he didn’t know better, Edge would say she was scolding Blue for his part in the earlier brotherly dispute.

Soon enough, her chattering dwindled to murmurs, her sockets growing heavy, then closing entirely as she slept. Edge let Blue keep holding her as he gratefully took up his own cup of coffee and never had caffeination been so delicious.

Blue only looked at her in awe, lightly touching each of her tiny, perfect fingers. “She’s beautiful,” he whispered, turning the full force of his starry eye lights onto his brother, “but honestly, Papy, you should have told me you two were expecting a child!”

Stretch choked, spilling coffee down the front of his shirt. “wait, what? that’s why you were so pissed off?”

“I would have thought you would be more cautious about that sort of thing, but I suppose it hardly matters now,” Blue said philosophically. “You still should have called me though when she arrived!”

“but we didn’t…!”

“Here we have a new baby, and I wasn’t even able to give her a baby shower!”

“She’s already had a bath,” Edge said, confused. This was going entirely too fast and he was not in top form, how could they possibly have been expecting her, there was nothing about the past two days that Edge had expected in the slightest.

Rescue came from an unexpected and wholly unwanted source.

“fuck’s sake, blueberry, she ain’t their kid!” Red snapped.

“Don’t swear,” Edge and Blue said, nearly in unison. Then Edge nearly choked on his own coffee as realization clicked with the force of an open-handed slap. Blue thought that the baby was his, not simply his responsibility but his own and Stretch’s. Suddenly his earlier sympathetic look made more sense, by Asgore’s horns, of all things he could believe…!

“She’s not?” Blue asked, confused. “But, then where did she come from?”

“where the fuck do you think, numbnuts?” Whatever the patience Red usually had for Blue seemed to have found its limit. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve, all but slamming his mug down on the coffee table, “she wasn’t flown in by the stork, kid was homegrown just like the rest of us and she’s got the fucking serial number to prove it!”

“Oh.” There was a wealth of meaning in that single, soft word, too many to properly interpret. Blue looked down at the baby sleeping in his arms, his fingertips hovering over her rib cage without touching, right over where her pajamas hid the healing scar. The same scar his brother and Red still had, faded and blurred, but still there. Then he wordlessly handed her to Edge, climbing to his feet and walked determinedly over to his brother.

Stretch only watched warily, allowing Blue to take away his half-empty coffee cup to shove it on table, ignoring the splash of coffee that slopped out and spread across the wood. He slid his small, strong arms around him, holding onto his brother tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” Blue said simply. The words were muffled, buried into Stretch’s coffee-stained hoodie. “I shouldn’t have been so upset with you and I certainly should have let you explain.”

“aw, bro, it’s okay—” Stretch hugged him back, resting his cheekbone on top of Blue’s skull.

“It’s not,” Blue said, the words tainted with the hint of a sob. “I assumed you were being irresponsible, and I shouldn’t have.”

“not like i don’t give you a reason for that.”

“There’s a difference between a messy room and, well, this.” They stayed there a moment longer, holding on tight, and when Blue drew away, he swiped a hasty sleeve over his damp sockets. “Now!” Blue clapped his hands together softly. “I think we should discuss living arrangements.”

“We can,” Edge said, quietly firm, “but I hardly think that will be necessary. We won’t be here for long.”

The sudden trio of protests was loud enough to wake the baby and Edge turned away, bouncing her in his arms as he tried to soothe her back to sleep. He’d known there would be objections, but he couldn’t allow them to sway him. This child was his responsibility, his choice, and his alone.

He had a duty to her and Edge was determined to see it done.

TBC

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #drifters

39 notes · View notes

bunnys-beetlejuice-blog · 3 years

Text

gently rings a little bell in your ear My fic updated with two new chapters when you weren't paying attention! but now i am tilting your chin up with the point of my sword, forcing you to look. its very villainous and cool. this is part three of an increasingly convoluted story, part one can be found all the way over here but if you just want the high school romance stuff and don't care about found family, that's fine, i guess, but like, what's your deal

The weekend is a welcome relief from everything at school. He’s tired of feeling like shit, so Saturday, annoyingly bright and early, he startles Lydia awake by flopping on her bed. It causes her to bounce, and she groans, pulling the dark purple blanket further over her head. “Beetlejuice…” “I was thinkin’, today we should spend th’ whole day outdoors, in th’ park or somethin’,” he grins, and she lifts the blanket just barely, to glare at him. “You only want to play outside because all your stuff was taken away,” comes her accusation, and she’s not exactly wrong, but he just wiggles a hand under her blanket and gives her nose a poke. “Let’s go get lost, somewhere. Come on, Lyds, please?” She tries to hit him with a pillow but her grip is tired from sleep, and all she manages to do is shove the thing at him.

Twenty minutes later, she’s dressed and ready, bouncing on the balls of her feet, as he mulls over which button up to wear, the highlighter yellow with purple bugs, or the dark green with orange bones. They’re two equally ugly shirts that kind of give him a headache to look at, and both are favorites. “I can’t believe you woke me up at eight so I could stand around watching you go through your wardrobe.” “This is important.” He settles on the bugs, finally, and pulls it on before turning to Lydia, but she’s gone. He blinks, and sticks his head out his door, in time to headbutt her as she comes back in. Both siblings reel back and hold their heads. “Beetlejuice…” she groans. “Lyd-eee-uhhh,” he mimics her. She huffs and throws what she’d gone to her room to retrieve at him. He catches it, then stares. It’s his hoodie, his ruined one from that disastrous Halloween. He can still see that faded dark copper stain in some places, but it's better than it was. Also, the holes slashed in the arms have been very sloppily stitched with a thick, black embroidery thread. He looks back at his sister. “You seemed like you were having a hard week,” Lydia says, shuffling her feet. “I never sewed anything before, I’m sorry it looks kind of messy, and I tried really hard to get the bloodstains out...” He slips his familiar stripes back on and feels much more at ease. “It’s cool,” he tells her. “I like messy.” He holds open his arms and she falls into them, pressing her face against his stomach. It's a nice moment, and for once, he doesn’t feel inclined to ruin it, just pats his little sister’s head. “Love you.” “Love you too.”

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Charles, ever an early riser, is surprised to see his children in the kitchen this bright eyed and bushy tailed on a Saturday. He’s pouring two coffees, one for himself and one for Emily, who is sitting at the table, head propped up on her hand, and still functionally asleep, when Betelgeuse and Lydia come bounding in to raid the fridge. “And what are you two getting up to today?” he asks, and the siblings pause to look at him. “Goin’ to th’ park.” “You think so?” Betelgeuse’s shoulder slump. “Seriously? You take all my stuff away an’ now I can’t even go out?” “You’re still in trouble. Why should you be allowed to go out and have fun?” “Cause that wasn’t specified!” Betelgeuse tries, and then turns to Emily. “Ma, tell him!” Emily mutters in her sleep, and Charles wordlessly sets the coffee down in front of her. The smell hits her nose, and robotically, she lifts the drink to her lips, eyes never opening. “Let BJ go do stuff,” she manages, maybe not as eloquent as she normally speaks, her voice gruff from sleep. Betelgeuse grins up at Charles. His father sips his own coffee, and then pats his son’s head. “Home before dark. No fire, no demon nonsense, no taking drugs from strangers.” “Home at midnight, commit arson, summon Satan, enjoy stranger candy. I gotcha.” Both his children receive a kiss on the head before stuffing Lydia’s little black coffin bag with snacks, and heading out.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

It’s a big city, and there’s not a loss of things to do, especially with his powers, and there’s no adult supervision today. They find a café and enjoy a big breakfast, then he turns them invisible and they sneak away before the check comes, only reappearing a block later, Lydia grinning wildly. “Food tastes better stolen!” she says, and he pats her head. “There’s my little criminal.” They sneak into a movie, next, some horror thing Lydia had wanted to see that even Emily, the fun parent, had said she was too little for. It’s absolutely a gore fest, but not especially good, and they throw popcorn at the screen and cheer whenever the killer scores another victim.

“I think you’d die early in a slasher,” she says after, scattering their uneaten popcorn on the pavement in front of the theatre. She gets the attention of a whole flock of pigeons, which land and begin pecking at the kernels. “What’s your logic, there?” “You die on screen early and then the twist is you faked your death and were the killer.” “Ohh, classic. I love it.” “I’m a total final girl,” Lydia turns the half empty bucket upside down, much to the joy of the starving sky rats. “And then at the end, it’s like, I knew you were the killer the whole time, and I was just acting. Cause we’re in it together. You know, partners in crime.” He picks her up, slings her over his shoulder. “Always.”

He takes them to Central Park, next, holding her hand behind the theatre and apparating, accidentally, up a tree. She gasps and clings to him, and he digs his claws into the bark of the tree to steady them. “No worries, no worries. I just gotta..” They appear on the ground below, and Lydia looks dizzy. “Feels weird when you do that,” she tells him. “Like riding a rollercoaster, except your limbs are all asleep. But.. Kinda not that, at the same time.” It feels normal to him, but he regularly eats tin cans, so what does he know about normal to begin with?

Lydia takes her camera from her coffin bag, and readies it. It’s a little instamatic she got for her birthday, a few months ago, and she’s going through film like crazy, taking some pretty shitty pictures. He’s not that blunt to her face, though. It’s not like he was a rockstar on the ukulele when he first started, and she’s got a lot of enthusiasm for taking photos. He’s not going to be the one to squash that for her.

Also, he’ll bite off the hand of whoever tries.

“You think this can take pictures underwater?” she asks, aiming her camera at a random woman jogging by. The jogger makes a face, which seems to be what Lydia expects, because she snaps the picture as the woman continues on her way, and the little photo pops out the bottom. Lydia gives it an aggressive shake.

“I’m gonna guess no. Besides, it’s too cold for you to take a swim.” “So let’s go somewhere warmer. I’m thinking Hawaii.” “Good idea, genius, an’ how do you think we’re getting there?” “You can teleport us.”

He actually has to stop and think about that. “I don’t think I could do it in one straight shot,” he says at last. Lydia has moved to a different kind of voyeurism, because she’s on her stomach on the grass, following the movement of a trail of ants with her lens. “I’d probably have to do little distances, an’ get tired and need a nap in th’ middle.”

“Maybe through a mirror? Like Sam?” She adjusts the optic, an entirely useless motion, because this camera doesn’t have any kind of zoom feature. But she’s seen people do it in nature documentaries. “Never done mirror travel before.” He mulls that over. “I’ll practice when I get home, an’ see if I can even pull you through.” “You’re not allowed to go to Hawaii without me,” she gets what she considers her perfect shot, and then stands, brushing off her dark red dress. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

They go bone hunting next, Lydia’s camera still at the ready, his keen nose leading the way. It’s easy to find owl pellets, and she breaks one open with her bare hands, as he teases her.

“Ew ew ew, Lydia gross, you’re touching it!” he pitches up his gruff voice to sound like a tweenage girl, and she rolls her eyes. “No skull in this one,” she frowns, wiping her hands on his hoodie.

“Maybe there’s a bodiless mouse head around here, livin’ it’s best life.” She looks doubtful.

Another, different smell hits his sensitive nose, just then. It’s death, new and fresh. His pupils dilate, and he follows it, her trailing after him, assuming he’s on the scent of more animal bones. What they find instead is an old man propped against a tree. He’s still warm, but the color is draining from his face, and rapidly. He doesn’t look hurt, he’s not bleeding. It’s like he sat down for a rest and died.

Lydia doesn’t get it, not right away. Death is a funny punchline in an overly gorey movie. She’s never seen the real thing, before. “Should we wake him up? It’s cold to be sleeping here.” He lifts the man’s arm, and it flops bonelessly back down. Her eyes go wide. “I doubt he’s gettin’ back up, kiddo.” She lifts her camera and takes a picture.

“Hello?” He hears a voice, and turns. The old man is standing next to himself. He looks back at Lydia, but she’s staring in fascination at the corpse, so he leaves her to it. “Hey,” he nods to the man, who looks relieved. “Can you call my grandson? My phone battery died,” he says, not seeming to understand the position he’s in. Betelgeuse tilts his head to the side. “You’re dead,” he says, a bit unkindly, and Lydia, who has been kneeling by the body, poking it, looks up at him. “I am?” “Wh- No, not you, Lyds, th’ stiff.” He gestures to the ghost, who has seemed to notice “himself” laying there. Lydia looks at her brother, confused. “There’s no one there.” “Sure there is. You just can’t see ghosts.”

“That’s me,” the old man says, not that anyone’s listening to him. “Should we tell someone about this?” Lydia asks him, and Betelgeuse shrugs. “Why? Someone will find th’ body eventually. You know. When it starts smellin’ like shit.” “I don’t want to leave him out here.” “Please, don’t leave me out here!” “I wouldn’t want to be left out here.” “Lucky for you, you’re never gonna die. You even try it an’ I’ll shove your soul back down your throat, if I have to.”

He smells the netherworld, and grabs Lydia, pulling her back, in time for another ghost to appear. A guide. The guide doesn’t even take a moment to look around, just instantly busies herself with getting the newly dead situated, and Betelgeuse picks Lydia up and carries her away. “That’s so sad,” she says, taking one last picture of the body from atop his shoulder. “I guess.”

They find the next official looking person they see, someone cleaning up trash, who doesn’t believe them, clearly, until he sees one of the photos Lydia took. The deathly pallor of the old man convinces him to go looking. Thirty minutes later, that part of the park is crawling with breathers, and the two of them are stuck on a bench, being talked to by cops. It’s a whole, boring process, and it’s drawing a big crowd. “Told ya, we shoulda minded our business,” Betelgeuse nudges his sister. Lydia is looking overwhelmed. Neither sibling ever gets this much attention. There’s even a news crew, though he can’t imagine what for. It’s just one old dead guy, and it’s not even a murder. Someone with a microphone tries to approach them, and he turns their mic into a black and white striped snake, forcing them to fling it away from themselves in a panic, and then he grabs Lydia.

They blink from existence and appear a ways away, and Lydia’s clutching his hand harder than she needs to. “Hey, come on.” His grating voice is soft, for her, as he kneels to her level, and she throws her arms around his neck. “How are you so calm? Doesn’t it make you sad?” she asks, softly, and he gives her an extra squeeze. “Happens to all breathers, Lyds. But it’s not somethin’ I gotta worry about, ever. So… no, not really.”

“Will you be sad when I die?”

He scoops her up, holding his little sister in his arms, and stands, her still clinging around his neck. “When you die at a hundred and twenty,” he tells her, carrying her along the path. “Wherever in the netherworld you end up, I’ll go too. Won’t even have time to be sad, me an’ you’ll be too busy causin’ trouble, even then.” She seems satisfied with that answer, and he doesn’t mind carrying her, so they enjoy the autumn leaves like that, her in his arms, as he follows the winding pathways of the park.

They don’t tell Charles and Emily, when they finally do get home, the sun just barely still peaking over the horizon. It doesn’t seem like a good idea, and Lydia doesn’t especially want to talk about it anymore. She pins her new photos up on the twine strung between the tall bedposts in her room. There’s a couple nice ones, and she lets him eat the ones she decides she hates. “Does it count as part of being grounded if you watch my tv?” she asks, and he grins. “Let’s find out.” She pops in Coraline, which he has to assume she’s got fucking memorized at this point, but they also talk through most of it. By the time the tasty looking bug furniture is on screen, her eyelids are drooping. “I dunno why they make her eatin’ bugs so evil. I wanna try beetles from Zanzibar,” he complains, and she just snorts in response “I’ll get you some fancy beetles, for your birthday.” “Kay. Sounds good.” She falls asleep on him a minute later, and he waives a hand, snuffing the lights, but lets the movie finish playing as he settles next to her, and sleeps.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````` That next week is boring, but normal. Adam’s in the library every day, despite his earlier insistence that he had better things to do. Betelgeuse honestly just wheels the cart along and lets Adam shelf the books, now, which the nerd seems to unironically enjoy. He’s all smiles as he gets to put things away neatly. It’s embarrassing how endearing and cute Betelgeuse finds that. It’s Tuesday, Barbara isn’t there that day, at least, not right at that moment, so Adam is babbling about her. “Barbara and I aren’t really performers,” he’s telling Betelgeuse, returning a stack of history books to their proper places on the shelves. “But we thought it would be fun to try theatre together, and then we really enjoyed it, so we’ve been in the last two productions. She can really sing, she does this high note, and it’s-” “Angelic, I bet.” Both boys give a stupid, love sick sigh. Adam pauses, and nods, and then studies the other teen. “So.. You.. You like her?” “Yeah,” he says easily. “But that doesn’t mean anythin’.” “What do you mean?” “I mean,” he clarifies, flopping across the cart, stomach first, and laying on it, staring down at Adam, who is crouching to reshelf some more books. “That despite me being a hot piece of ass, I’m probably not her type. I imagine she goes more for…” he studies Adam, trying to think of a nice word for boring, plain and vanilla. “More stable guys,” he lands on. “Like you. I bet she even likes how cute your butt looks in your khakis. I know I do.” Adam flushes. “You think so?” “It’s a good butt.” He nods, and Adam goes redder. “I meant, you think Barbara.. Might like me?” “Well, don’t push your luck, or nothin’, but you probably got a better chance with her.”

“You’re not entirely unlikable,” Adam offers. Betelgeuse lets out a guffaw that’s too loud, because someone in the next aisle over shushes him. “You already forget what I told you Friday?” he rests his head on his hand, tone condescending. “I know no one wants me around.”

“You’re setting yourself up for failure, with that attitude.”

“You think so, huh? Think I just need to hold hands round th’ campfire and sing kumbaya with all you breathers? I don’t think anyone would even take my hand. Probably couldn't get away from me fast enough.” There’s a pause. He doesn’t realize what he’s said until Adam is repeating it. “Breathers?”

He doesn’t get a chance to reply, because he feels a push on the cart, and turns to see Barbara, hands on the handle. “You’ve completely given up even trying, haven’t you?” she says, and he thinks she means about the books, and smiles. “No point. Adam’ll just do it for me.” “I mean with talking to people. With making friends.” His smile falls quickly into a scowl, and he runs a hand through his wild mess of green hair. “Lay off me, Babs. I’m bein’ friendly right now, aren’t I?”

“Sure, it’s plenty friendly, letting Adam do your work. But you don’t try, and then you get your feelings hurt when no one does it for you.” That’s not laying off, and it’s irritating him. “You can’t imagine anyone being nice to you, so you’re rude and push everyone away the first chance you get, in case what? In case you make a friend? Kevin probably needs you, right now,” she presses, physically too, making the cart he’s still lying across lurch forward. “I told you what happened to his dad, and you just said he wasn’t even your friend, when everyone knows you spent the last few months holding hands and making googoo eyes at him, and only talking to each other.”

“S’none of your business,” he tugs at his hair, pulling a tuft down to watch the color. Still green. He’s okay, but he keeps it there, in front of his eyes, focusing on it and not having to look at Barbara. “I’m making it my business. What are you so afraid of? What’s with the barrier? I saw you with your sister, you’re normal and nice, to her. So it’s other people you’re afraid of?” “M’not,” he growls out, standing up off the cart. “Afraid of anythin’.”

“You are,” she says, letting go of the cart and stomping to stand in front of him. She’s got him cornered, his back pressed to the bookshelf behind him. He keeps his eyes on that green tuft, biting his bottom lip. “You’re afraid of rejection, so you don’t talk, or you’re a jerk to people. You’re so afraid of other people, you make yourself sit alone every day, even when there’s an empty seat next to someone else.”

“No one wants me around!”

God, that hurts. He can see purple forming in the tip of his hair.

“You think I haven’t tried?” he rasps at her, letting his hair go, and finally looking directly at her. “You think I like sittin’ alone, bein’ the weird kid in every class, not havin’ anyone to talk to? It sucks!” he hears himself being shushed again, and he expends a burst of power in that direction, knocking books off the shelves to hit the person who can’t mind their own business. The sudden noise makes both Adam and Barbara jump. “You ever noticed that anytime I’ve tried, people can’t get th’ hell away from me fast enough? I’m tired of bein’ alone, but every time I try, somethin’ goes to shit, or I'm ignored! So maybe it is easier to just be a jerk an’ not worry about gettin’ hurt, than to keep tryin’ and ache all th’ time.”

It’s the most honest he’s ever been, out loud. Barbara clenches her fists, but doesn’t say anything. He sees Adam push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

Lunch isn’t even close to over, and he’s just made more work for himself by knocking those books off the shelf, but he doesn’t care. He grabs his backpack from the cart and pushes past the two of them, and he storms out, forcing the library door to slam, even though it’s a soft close door. It feels more final, that way.

He spends the rest of lunch invisible, to avoid any more trouble with adults, and slumps into his customary seat in the back of every class, for the rest of the day. No one talks to him. He doesn’t try to talk to anyone. It’s a system, it works. Stupid Barbara. What does she even know? Like she can somehow understand anything he’s going through. She’s pretty, and cool, and has a ton of friends, he thinks, absolutely bitter. She doesn’t get it.

He trudges to the drama room after school, and pushes open the door with his shoulder. The seats are in a circle, again, and he chooses a random one, pointedly, away from Adam and Barbara, between two other people. He sits there, silent, and after a moment, the two kids both move seats. How miserably predictable. Come on, he wills himself. No purple, no red. Just stay green. You can go home and freak the fuck out, but just stay green, he begs his hair.

He wipes his nose hard with his hoodie sleeve, and focuses on that, on the texture of the fabric and the way he rubs hard enough for it to hurt. Pain is as close to relief as he can get. Then the chairs next to him are scooted closer, and he blinks, and realizes that Adam and Barbara have settled on either side of him. He doesn’t.. Get it. He can’t understand, but then both of them reach a hand out, and take one of his, and give it a squeeze. It’s grounding. He takes a breath he doesn’t need, and then a couple more, shaky and painful, and he gives their hands a squeeze back, like he’s making sure they’re real. They are.

When the club starts, he tries, very sincerely, to focus on what’s being said, and not the bright hot feeling blooming like a flower in his chest. Read the rest here!!

#beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice au #beetlejuice fanfiction #adam maitland #barbara maitland #emily deetz #lydia deetz #beetlejuice broadway

13 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 3 years

Text

Tree House Kisses, Chapter 40 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica

A/N: Click here for previous chapters here on AQ or here if you’d rather read on AO3. xoxo!

Thank you so so much to @saiphl and @sillylittlecandycane for beta-reading!!

Chapter Summary: Courtney does her best to support Adore’s new relationship, even as Tati comes to a disappointing realization.

Chapter 40: Don’t Cry Out Loud

“Omigod, your dorm room is so cute!” Courtney squealed, and Roy hid a smile, settling down on the bed. Of course Courtney would find the stark white, institutional shared room which was barely bigger than a prison cell just adorable.

He lounged on the bed, wordlessly stretching his arms out, grin deepening when she immediately climbed up to settle into his embrace, sighing softly. He kissed her hair, breathing in the familiar scent of her, wondering why it felt like a million years had passed since they last saw each other. He wanted to go back home for their anniversary a few weeks ago, but midterms had been kicking his ass and he just couldn’t take the time away. Courtney seemed fine about it, even telling him not to worry when he’d promised to make it up to her, but he was aware that she might be harboring some resentment.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he murmured. “I’m so, so sorry I had to cancel the last-”

She silenced him with a kiss, passionate and deep, her fingers digging into his shoulders telling him that all was forgiven, that she still loved him, that they were good.

“I missed you, too…” Her arms tightened around him. “Anyway, Happy Belated Anniversary…”

“Two years,” he said, kissing her lightly. “It’s been pretty good, huh?”

“The best.”

It was a few minutes before he felt any need to speak again, content to hold her close, occasionally seeking out her lips for soft, messy kisses. He tried to keep himself from getting too excited, since he was aware that his roommate could easily burst in at any moment. (Joe had promised to sleep elsewhere, but it was only 5 pm, so he didn’t think that deal had begun just yet.)

Soon though, Courtney had rolled over on top of him, body warm and pliant, kisses growing more and more heated. When her hands drifted down to his fly, tugging at the button, he regretfully stopped her, breathing hard.

“We should, uh...wait a little bit. Just until I know we can have some real privacy.”

“Okay,” she agreed, sitting up, running a hand through her hair. She tossed him a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he assured her, kissing her hand. “I’m just trying to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation.”

“Mmhmm…”

As he sat up, leaning against the wall, she moved towards him and rested her head on his shoulder.

“So...I’ve told you all about my classes and stuff. What’s new back home? Anything interesting?”

“Uhh...I dunno. Murial’s still a pain in the ass, my mom has a new boyfriend, same old shit.”

Roy laughed. “Is he as weird as the last one?”

“Thankfully no. But...well, he’s almost suspiciously normal.”

“Keep your door locked at night,” Roy joked.

“Yuck.” Courtney hit him on the arm, shaking her head.

“How are the neighborhood kids? I haven’t talked to Bob in weeks, is he good?”

“Yeah, I think so. I haven’t seen him that much outside of class. I’ve been hanging out with Adore’s friends most of the time.”

“Oh yeah? Is Violet behaving?” He raised a curious eyebrow at her.

“Shockingly, yes. And Adore has a new girlfriend,” she added, almost as an afterthought.

“Oh...” Roy paused, unsure how he was supposed to react to this news. Somehow, he didn’t think that jubilation was called for. “Anyone I know?”

“No, she’s a new girl. Tatianna. She’s cool, and like...so pretty.”

“Well...good for Adore.”

“Yeah, it’s really good!” Courtney said. “They have so much in common. Tati plays bass, and they’re into the same music, and like...they fit really well together, you know?”

“Uh huh.” An unsettled feeling began to creep into Roy’s chest. That old, nagging feeling that he could never get rid of when it came to Courtney and her best friend.

“I’m like, so, so happy for her,” Courtney continued. “It’s been awhile since she’s dated anyone, and like...it’s really great to see her happy. I really think that this one will last. At least, I hope. It’s only been a few weeks, I guess. Less than a month. Right now they’re all giddy, in that like, honeymoon stage. You know? It’s really cute.”

“So...I mean, are you two still hanging out, or is she kinda occupied?” Roy asked slowly. He knew how much Courtney had suffered last year, how miserable she’d been without Adore, and he had no desire for her to relive that.

“We’re hanging out a lot! Yeah, it’s funny, it’s kind of been a lot of the three of us. Which is cool because I’m getting to know Tati too. I think you’d like her, she’s really sweet and funny and had this kind of sarcasm that catches you totally off guard. She’s great.”

“Um...yeah, great.”

Roy cleared his throat, swinging his legs off the side of the bed, suddenly itching for a change of topic, a change of scenery. He reached out a hand to Courtney.

“Do you wanna go for a walk? I can show you the campus and then we can come back and change for dinner. I think you’re gonna really like the restaurant I found.”

“Sounds perfect,” Courtney beamed at him with that smile, the one that never failed to melt his heart, twist up his insides, make him believe, if only for a second, that life was truly good. He grinned back, dimples deep in his cheeks, pulling her in for a tight embrace.

He was able to convince himself, that night, that everything was fine. The distance he felt was just a normal part of living apart. That this awkward year was just a necessary thing for them to get through before they could be together for real, like adults.

Roy wasn’t naive, he knew that people grew apart and that nothing was guaranteed--but there wasn’t a single version of his future that he could fathom without her in it. So the next day as they said goodbye, once again, the promise of being reunited soon over Thanksgiving kept it from being too bittersweet. Courtney certainly seemed unconcerned, hugging him tightly and whispering “I love you” into his neck.

He breathed her in once more, the feel of her post-shower hair damp against his cheek. He wished that she could stay longer, but she had what was sure to be a long drive ahead of her, and he had a paper to write.

“Call me when you get home…”

“I will.” She smiled up at him, began to unwind her arms from his waist, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Don’t look so sad. I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

Before she got too far away, though, Roy pulled her back one last time, holding her against his chest again, unwilling to let go just yet. “Five more seconds…”

Courtney giggled, hugging him back, whispering, “Take as many as you need…”

Adore was cute. She was really cute. And fun, and chill, and everything Tati felt like she needed after the trauma of a cross-country move.

There was just one problem. Well, maybe not a problem. A concern. Something that, at first she’d brushed off as paranoia, but the more she got to know Adore and her friends, the more it bugged her. It didn’t seem to matter that they’d been best friends for years, or that Courtney had a boyfriend (albeit one whom Tati had never seen in the flesh). Something about it was just...uncomfortable.

Tonight though, she decided to put it out of her mind. At Adore’s suggestion, they were having a chill movie night. They’d just received a bountiful order from the delivery guy--two stuffed-crust pizzas, wings, garlic knots, and whatever else they felt compelled to order after smoking in the tree house.

Tati set all the food out on the coffee table while Adore shuffled through her DVD collection.

“I promise, you’re gonna love it,” Adore said, punctuating her statement with a wink in Tati’s direction.

“I trust your taste,” Tati said, settling onto the sofa with a sigh.

Adore found the DVD she wanted and began to load it in when a familiar voice sounded from the doorway.

“Hi guys! What’s up?”

Courtney.

Tati felt bad, for thinking of her as a problem. She was a perfectly nice girl, friendly and fun and charming--but she was also always there. It seemed like she and Adore barely ever spent time together without Courtney being involved in some way. And it wouldn’t bother Tati so much, except that there was this weird energy between them, something all their other friends had just decided to ignore, apparently.

Or maybe Tati was just paranoid, overly judgmental? She bit her lip, guilt once again washing over her, that she covered with a friendly wave and a bright, “Hey Court!”

Adore looked up, slightly puzzled.

“Hi babe...I thought you were doing your whole...anniversary extravaganza thing with Roy.”

“Oh yeah, I was! It was so amazing, he’d planned this perfect romantic night, totally overboard just like always, and then brunch today.” Courtney giggled, and Tati didn’t miss the wistful expression that flickered across Adore’s face. “Anyway, I just got back, traffic was a nightmare, it took me 4 hours, blah blah blah. What are you guys up to?”

“Movie night.”

“Awesome, what are you watching?”

“Tati’s never seen The Craft. So..”

“Omigod, really?” Courtney flopped down onto the sofa. “You’re gonna love it, it’s so good. What kind of pizza is this?”

“Uhh, we have one pepperoni, and one mushroom…” Adore caught Tati’s eye, responding to the incredulous look on her face with an apologetic little shrug, pressing play on the DVD player and standing up to join them on the sofa. So, it seemed pretty clear that she wasn’t going to tell Courtney that this was a date night.

“Ughh, I love you! Thanks for getting one without meat.”

“Thank Tati, I hate mushrooms,” Adore laughed, sitting down between them.

“Tati, I love you. You’re beautiful.” Courtney leaned over Adore to blow a kiss at Tati, who caught it half-heartedly.

Tati couldn’t concentrate on the movie. Her whole attention was focused on Courtney and Adore, and their every giggly, weirdly flirtatious interaction.

She was definitely, definitely not being paranoid. As she inched herself further and further away, scrunching against the arm of the sofa, Courtney seemed to be doing the opposite. It began with her feet in Adore’s lap, then shifted to a head on her shoulder, then finally she settled into her most comfortable position: curled up with her head resting on the pillow in Adore’s lap.

Adore didn’t seem to mind one bit, either, or notice that anything was amiss. She and Courtney spent the whole movie giggling and reciting their favorite lines along with the characters, and eventually, her fingers began to drift absentmindedly through Courtney’s blonde hair.

After what felt like seven excruciating hours, the credits finally began to roll.

Courtney sat up, bright-eyed, stretching.

“God that movie is so good!” she said, then added in a deep voice, “You girls watch out for those weirdos.”

Adore laughed uproariously, replying with, “We are the weirdos, mister!”

“So uh...I guess you guys probably like...want some alone time now, huh?” Courtney asked.

It took all of Tati’s self control not to roll her eyes. But the truth was, she couldn’t even be annoyed at Courtney. Adore was the one who should have told her to leave.

“Do you mind?” Adore asked, and Courtney stood up, giving her a suggestive wink.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she said, kissing Adore on the top of the head and then moving to Tati, giving her a hug.

“I don’t think that works here, babe,” Adore said, laughing.

“Okay well then…” A cheeky grin pulled at Courtney’s lips and she said, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do after like 4 shots.” She punctuated that statement by licking her lips suggestively.

Adore giggled again, shaking her head and saying, “Get out of here, idiot!”

“Nighty-night, kids!” Courtney called, heading for the back door.

Tati swallowed. She knew that Adore would probably want to mess around now, but she didn’t have the energy to fake it. Nina was right. Jumping into this way too fast was a mistake. She needed friends, or the year would just be a total misery, and she was super grateful to have found their group. But if she got in any deeper with Adore, there was a chance she’d jeopardize that. So she stood up, picking her bag off the ground, and said, “I should probably take off, too.”

“What? Why?” Adore looked confused.

“Uh...you know, it’s getting late, so…” Tati began to put on her jacket, and Adore jumped up to grab the sleeve.

“I thought you were staying over. My mom’s at work…”

“Well…” Tati hesitated, knowing that she had to handle this delicately, or risk losing all of her new friends.

“What’s wrong?” Adore asked, biting her lip.

“I just...I had a different idea of how tonight would go,” Tati finally explained.

“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry about that, she’s not always great at reading the room,” Adore said, unable to keep the affectionate chuckle out of her voice.

“It’s not her.”

“It’s not?” Adore’s brow furrowed deeper.

“I mean...it’s just the way you are with her, the way you look at her. And why didn’t you just tell her to leave?”

The red began to creep into Adore’s cheeks. “I guess I didn’t think I...should.”

“Right.” Tati finished putting on her jacket and slung her bag over her shoulder.

“Wait, Tati. You don’t understand.” Adore’s hazel eyes were glassy, her voice desperate as she clung to Tati’s sleeve. “It’s really complicated, with her.”

Of course Tati understood. Inappropriate, uncomfortable crushes were practically a right of passage for teenage lesbians. Hers was a friend from camp, a girl who still made her heart ache every time she thought about her.

“Yeah, no, I do get it. Actually.” Tati took Adore’s hand and squeezed it. “I guess I just didn’t realize how complicated until tonight.”

“Please don’t go,” Adore begged, still gripping her sleeve.

Tati leaned forward and kissed her gently on the cheek.

“You’re beautiful, you know that? But, it just seems like you guys have a whole--”

Tears began to slip down Adore’s cheeks and Tati stopped abruptly.

“Fuck,” Adore whispered hoarsely.

“I won’t say it out loud, if you don’t want me too.”

Adore bit her trembling lip, nodding, then swiped at her eyes with the back of her hands, finally releasing Tati’s arm.

“Yeah, please...please don’t.”

“Okay.” Tati took a deep breath. It didn’t seem right to just leave her here crying. But on the other hand, she was fairly certain that the tears had nothing to do with her and everything to do with her bestie next door. “We’re still friends, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Adore sniffled, nodding.

Tati pulled her in for one last tight, quick hug and headed for the door, sighing. So much for a fun and inconsequential little fling.

“Here you go, Grandma.” Courtney carried the cup and saucer to her grandmother at the kitchen table, setting her tea down carefully. “Do you want some of that cranberry biscotti you like, too?”

“Yes, thank you, dear,” Muriel said, and Courtney skipped over to the cupboard, feeling like an absolute model granddaughter. She’d gotten home to find Muriel in the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes after dinner, and immediately offered her assistance, scrubbing out a pot, loading the dishwasher, and then making her grandmother a cup of tea as she’d sat down heavily at the kitchen table. Surely she deserved an award of some kind for being this considerate and helpful.

She arranged several biscotti artfully on a plate when a knock at the kitchen door caught her attention. She set the cookies down and then opened the door, surprised to find Adore there, eyes a bit red and watery. (Of course, these days, Adore’s eyes were usually red, as she seemed to have upped the weed smoking quite a bit.)

“Hey...are you alright?”

Adore nodded.

“Where’s Tatianna?” Courtney asked.

“Uh, we sort of...broke up.”

“Oh no!” Courtney slipped outside, shutting the door behind her, feeling like this was a conversation that Muriel didn’t need to hear. “I’m so sorry!”

Courtney pulled Adore in for a hug, trying to hide her relief. She really did feel bad, even if part of her was jealous about all the attention Adore was lavishing on the new girl; mostly, she just hated to see Adore upset. She put her hands on Adore’s shoulders, pulling back a bit to look into her eyes. Up close, it was clear now that she’d been crying.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s cool, I’ll be cool, I just…” Adore sighed. “Bonnie’s at work, and I just really didn’t want to be alone.”

Courtney nodded, gently tucking a lock of hair behind Adore’s ear. She hated seeing her best friend sad, of course, but it felt good to be the one she came to for comfort.

“Do you wanna stay over tonight?” Courtney asked.

“Is that okay?” Adore bit her lip, eyes flicking to Courtney’s grandmother, visible through the kitchen window.

“Of course! Anytime.” Courtney hugged her again. “Come on in. Have some of Gary’s artisan gelato.”

“Sounds perfect,” Adore said, finally flashing that winning smile, just like when they were kids and Courtney could solve any problem with ice cream. She grinned back, pressing a kiss to Adore’s temple before pulling her inside.

Adore lay awake, staring at the faint glow-in-the-dark star stickers all over Courtney’s ceiling. She couldn’t shake that nagging, uncomfortable feeling she’d had ever since Tati had said, or rather not said, what she had earlier.

Was Adore that obvious? Did everyone know?

And more importantly...did Courtney know?

She shifted her weight to her side, facing Courtney now, who was sleeping peacefully, one blonde curl falling across her face. She studied the way the moonlight illuminated her features. She’d spent so many hours of her life looking at that face, and almost as many dreaming about it. And still, sometimes, it was like she was a stranger. It was odd to think about how someone she’d known so long, shared some of her deepest secrets with, could be in the dark about something so monumentally big.

For a moment, Adore wondered if Tati was right. Should she just tell Courtney how she felt? Lay all her cards on the table? Deal with whatever heartbreak, whatever pain might result?

“Court?” she whispered, inching closer, brushing her hair away from her face.

“Mmm?” Courtney’s eyes fluttered, her arms instinctively wrapping around Adore’s waist, pulling her closer.

“I need to tell you something.”

Courtney opened her eyes, blinking awake, and immediately her brow creased with concern. It wasn’t until then that Adore realized that she’d been crying.

“What is it, Dory? Are you okay?” Courtney asked.

“Yeah, I just...um…” Adore took a deep, shaky breath, the oxygen filling her lungs like a splash of cold water to the face.

“What?” Courtney’s thumbs gently dried her tears. “Is it about Tatianna?”

“I...I…” She gazed into Courtney’s eyes in the dim, moonlit room, breath hitching, unable to get the words out.

“What? Are you okay?” Her voice was so soft and warm and caring, hands still cradling Adore’s cheeks, and Adore knew that it was now or never.

She could be honest, in this moment. On the lumpy mattress they’d shared countless times over the years, underneath the dimly-glowing star stickers on Courtney’s ceiling. She could confess, unburden her aching heart, and maybe it would all be fine. But...what if it wasn’t?

“Um...yeah. I guess I’m just sad.” Adore gulped, her nerve suddenly gone, every ounce of courage dissolved in an instant. Her heart pounded as if she’d narrowly escaped death, as if a truck had just swerved into her bike lane, missing her by inches.

“I’m so sorry,” Courtney said, pulling her close, wrapping her into a warm embrace, lips pressed to her temple.

“Thanks. Thanks for...being here,” Adore sniffled.

“I’ll always be here. I love you, Dory.”

“Me too,” Adore said, eyes falling closed as fresh, hot tears trickled down her cheeks. She wished that Courtney knew exactly how much, but even more than that, she was relieved that she hadn’t taken that terrifying leap into the unknown.

#rpdr fanfiction #tree house kisses #scorpio #veronica #adorney #adore delano #courtney act #bianca del rio #tatianna #bitney #adore x tatianna #lesbian au #high school au #m/f au #angst #fluff

8 notes · View notes

letterboxd · 4 years

Photo

Sundance 2020.

“Dude, I hope this gets over 3.5!” Letterboxd rates this year’s Sundance.

Our West Coast editor Dominic Corry returns to Sundance to engage in such essential festival experiences as: judging other people’s cellphone etiquette, pretending not to notice A-listers, coming to rely upon coffee to a dangerous extent, and hastily downing a hot sandwich while standing over the garbage can outside the Park City Fresh Market.

He also watched a whole load of cool films, and spoke with the writing and directing talent behind some of the 2020 festival’s most talked-about premieres: Janicza Bravo (Zola), Eugene Kotlyarenko (Spree), Miranda July (Kajillionaire), Brandon Cronenberg (Possessor) and Jim Cummings (actor and executive producer of Danny Madden's debut Beast Beast).

Zola

“There are more ways to access great storytelling than the ones we’ve been used to.”

Generating much of the buzz ahead of the 2020 Sundance Film Festival was Janicza Bravo’s Zola, a film based on the Twitter thread by A'Ziah King that went famously viral in 2015. It concerns two exotic dancers: King herself—who goes by Zola—(played by Taylour Paige) and her new friend Stefani (Riley Keough), who head down to Tampa one weekend accompanied by Stefani’s boyfriend Derrek (played by Cousin Greg himself, Nicholas Braun) and Stefani’s “roommate” (read: pimp, played by Colman Domingo). To say shit gets cray doesn’t quite cover it.

It’s been simplistically, if understandably, described ahead of time as “Pulp Fiction meets Spring Breakers”, but Bravo herself cited a much more eclectic selection of cinematic inspirations when we spoke to her ahead of the film’s world premiere.

“My inspirations were The Wiz, Coffy, Paris Is Burning, The Killing of a Chinese Bookie, Special Victims Unit. And Natural Born Killers!”

Bravo (pictured above) took to King’s Twitter thread immediately when it went viral. “I think I found it within a day, or days, of it coming out,” says Bravo. “It was sent to me by a group of girlfriends and before finishing it I knew that I wanted it, and I worked at getting [the rights] for about two years.”

Bravo wasn’t the only one who wanted to tell this story on the big screen—James Franco was initially linked to an adaptation.

“It’s not that it was difficult to get the rights, it’s that there were many other people who wanted it and the people who got it before me were just fancier. But here we are.”

Bravo is credited with Zola's script alongside playwright Jeremy O. Harris, who recently blew up Broadway with his incendiary show Slave Play. She concedes there were unique challenges in translating something so specific to the big screen.

“The thing that everyone was attracted to about this story was the voice, and I would say the hardest thing was to make sure the voice was still present in the film. What you’re reading, that it would translate into the visual.”

Bravo says she’s not sure if this is going to lead to a rash of social network-based films (Letterboxd: The Movie excepted of course), “but I would say that what the story tells you is that there are more ways to access great storytelling than the ones we’ve been used to.”

Spree

“Put it on lists and do those Letterboxd battles!”

It can be all too easy to over-perceive mini-trends at film festivals, but it was hard to overlook the large role that social media played in multiple films at Sundance this year.

In Eugene Kotlyarenko’s Spree, floppy-haired Stranger Things star Joe Keery (pictured above) plays wannabe influencer Kurt Kunkle, a driver for a Los Angeles-based ride-sharing service (called… Spree) who plots to up his subscriber numbers by murdering his more obnoxious passengers on a live stream. Or he might just be staging it all for the LOLs. The entire film plays out as a series of live-streaming videos, mostly from the dashboard cameras in Kurt’s car.

Kotlyarenko’s film questions the overly prominent role of social media in modern life. “We've all kind of signed on to this thing, to use the literal expression,” he told us. “It’s part of the way we understand ourselves and our relationship with the rest of the world. It’s basically: a like or repost or a good rating on something, gives us part of our validation or sense of self and that is a kind of twisted place to be. [Spree] is a provocation, it’s a challenge, it’s a way of saying: look, we have a problem.”

Kotlyarenko had a number of inspirations in mind while he was writing and directing Spree. “A lot! A lot of movies! I actually put ten movies in a Dropbox for the cast and crew. One movie that I thought was really inspiring was Jafar Panafi’s Taxi, also known as Taxi Tehran. You want Man Bites Dog in there, because the whole thing is that the movie’s a live stream, right? So how do you do that pseudo-doc thing but now? So you’re following a psychotic character and you’re getting very close to them. Uncomfortably close. What else? Network and To Die For, just hardcore media satires. There’s a bunch of other films, like Coming Apart, do you know this film? It’s a late ’60s movie starring Rip Torn, where he’s a psychiatrist and he sets up these hidden cameras and exploits all his patients and stuff but they don’t know that they’re on camera.”

It turns out Kotlyarenko is a keen Letterboxd member, and he’s looking forward to other members generating an average rating for his film. “Dude, I hope this gets over 3.5!”

We can safely assume Kotlyarenko won’t employ measures as drastic as those adopted by the main character in his movie in order to get his desired rating.

“I want people on Letterboxd to watch the film and rate it whatever the fuck you think it is [worth]. And, you know, put it on lists and do those Letterboxd battles. Put it up against, you know, some Gasper Noé movie. And let it win!”

Kajillionaire

“Instead of sort of half-arseing two jobs, you’re doing one job really well.”

Filmmaker, actor and performance artist Miranda July is a central figure in the American independent cinema scene, even though she’s only directed two films: Me and You and Everyone We Know and The Future. Her third full-length feature Kajillionaire had its world premiere at Sundance this year, just as her previous works did, but the big difference this time around is that she stuck to writing and directing, having also played the lead role in her two previous films.

“It’s just better,” she told Letterboxd of staying behind the camera for Kajillionaire. “Instead of sort of half-arseing two jobs, you’re doing one job really well, you know? You get a lot of energy when you’re performing—that’s nice. Especially initially to kind of set the tone, that was super helpful, starting out. But now it’s like: these people all knew my work. So I didn’t have to actually be in it for them to like, get it. Which is, you know, what a dream right?”

Kajillionaire is a typically (for July) offbeat tale of a Los Angeles family who attempt low-level scams to raise money to pay the rent on the disused office space with oozing walls in which they live. The family (comprised of mom Debra Winger, dad Richard Jenkins and daughter Evan Rachel Wood) find their equilibrium challenged when an optimistic young woman (Gina Rodriguez) eagerly joins them for their latest “heist”.

Miranda July. / Photo courtesy of the Sundance Institute

Letterboxd asked July if she thinks there’s a common narrative thread running through all three of her films.

“I mean, I see the thread, but it’s really just me living my life. Not that it’s autobiographical at all. But now I was ready to face issues and tell a story that only could be told by someone who had been a child, grown into an adult, and then been a parent of a child and had this 360-degree perspective. And also I think there’s a joyfulness that only comes in once you’re like: I know a little bit how to do this, you know? Like, maybe there’s some fun that I had, as well as breaking my heart 100 times.”

Although Kajillionaire would seem to speak to general economic anxiety, July said that wasn’t necessarily the point of the film.

“All I’ll say about that right now is: I wrote it in this time and the whole thing comes from my unconscious. But I am the child of boomers and, you know, living in the same world you’re living in. The sense that something criminal might have happened is in the air, but I wasn’t consciously [thinking]: ‘I’m going to hit them hard with this political satire’. It’s not that movie. But I don’t think anyone would be wrong to find that in it.”

Beast Beast

“It allows you to circumvent all of the bullshit that is Hollywood.”

We met up with one of our favorite filmmakers (and Letterboxd member), Jim Cummings, who wrote, directed and starred in the 2018 low-key masterpiece Thunder Road, an expansion of a 13-minute short that won the Short Film Grand Jury Prize at Sundance in 2016.

Cummings was at the 2020 festival as both an executive producer and supporting cast member in a film in the NEXT program (which highlights emerging filmmakers) called Beast Beast. It’s the first feature from writer/director Danny Madden.

“Danny was my co-producer and creative director on many of my short films, the Thunder Road feature, and my new upcoming werewolf movie. So it’s great to be here for his first Sundance feature.”

Cummings, who also runs The Short to Feature Lab in Malibu, understands more than most how shorts can be a pathway to feature filmmaking.

“It’s just so much more fulfilling to make something as a proven concept. You kind of become your own studio in a way that’s incredibly fulfilling. I think it’s the future. You can afford to make something over a weekend with your friends in the backyard that’s a short film and then you can use that and use Kickstarter or a crowd-equity plan campaign to raise the rest of the money for a feature. It’s absolutely the future and it allows you to circumvent all of the bullshit that is Hollywood.”

Jim Cummings and Danny Madden. / Photo by Jovelle Tamayo, courtesy of the Sundance Institute

Hang on, did you say new upcoming werewolf film? Thunder Road fans can look forward to beholding Cumming’ follow-up feature soon.

“I shot a werewolf movie in Coalville, Utah last March. I spent four months out here. I wrote it, I directed in and I star in it, and it’s a proper monster movie. It’s like a proper werewolf comedy. It’s like Thunder Road with a werewolf. Or Zodiac as a comedy. That’s coming out in theaters in September.”

And because this is Jim Cummings we’re talking to, there’s more: “I ran a crowd-equity campaign for a movie that we made about talent agents that I can’t really talk too much about, but it’s very good and it’s a horror movie that we shot in November. That should be coming out around the same time.”

Possessor

“It has a lot to do with character psychology, without giving too much away.”

Following the world premiere of his new film Possessor, Letterboxd sat down with second-generation filmmaker Brandon Cronenberg, the son of legendary director David. The younger Cronenberg’s second feature (following 2012’s Antiviral) had Sundance audiences audibly wincing at the extreme body horror on display in the sci-fi thriller, which stars Andrea Riseborough as an assassin who forcibly inhabits the minds of others to perform her incredibly violent executions.

We asked Cronenberg how he feels about the term “body horror” (a sub-genre often associated with his father’s work) being applied to his film.

“I guess it depends how you define body horror,” says Cronenberg. “There are violent scenes in the film and I guess that fits into a certain aspect of body horror, but it isn’t really what I would necessarily describe as body horror. There’s a small amount of story stuff that I feel is legitimately a part of that genre, but it’s not [the] prime aspect of the story.”

Cronenberg confirmed that on-screen viscerality appeals to him in general as a filmmaker: “I think especially in genre, although it can be incredibly conceptual. It’s partly defined by deep visceral emotions, not always because of graphic violence or gore. Sometimes it can be a film primarily about dread or anxiety that I would still consider to be a horror film, and a lot of classic ghost films for instance are not graphic but are visceral and in that emotional sense.”

Actors Christopher Abbott and Andrea Riseborough with director Brandon Cronenberg. / Photo courtesy of the Sundance Institute

The violence in Possessor may have had audience members covering their eyes in Park City, but Cronenberg told us there was a point to all the grue.

“It wasn’t just there to be intense or to provoke people. It has a lot to do with character psychology, without giving too much away. The way it’s depicted and the various approaches that are taken in different scenes, very much relate to the main character, her relationship with violence, her own internal space and also where the audience is situated from a kind of more objective or more subjective position.”

#sundance #sundance fim festival #sundance 2020 #jim cummings #miranda july #letterboxd #red carpet #film festival #preview #festival

7 notes · View notes

spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia · 4 years

Text

SpongeGuy Reviews Every Disney Cartoon Ever!: The Replacements (1.1A and 1.1B): “Todd Strikes Out” and “The Jerky Girls”

Hey, look, Disney made a Butch Hartman show!

No, seriously, this is what it is, even the gags are Butch Hartman esque.

The Replacements is a fairly oddparents clone of sorts which isn’t half bad, just like The Fairly Oddparents before everything went to the shit. Starring Grey Griffin (I LOVE YOU) and her boring boy character who would have been my fave when I was 6 because I thought girls were boring (Bart Simpson voices this one!), as two siblings who can replace any and all boring and annoying adults in their lives with about zero consequences.

Worrying.

Anyway, it was a short but sort of fun cartoon, one to wind back and listen to when you need a break, so let’s give it a try!

SUMMERIES: Todd and Riley decide to replace their old baseball coach with a new one that just happens to be a professional baseball player.

Riley replaces her strict scout leader with someone who will help them sell more jerky than their rival scout led by Sierra.

COMEDY: 4 Out of 5 (”Todd Strikes Out” and “The Jerky Girls”)

Not surprisingly, a show like this tries to be funny, so this is the most important area of discussion today, and honestly? It works! It was way funnier than I thought it would be! It’s got that classic Butch Hartman style humor from before it went totally stale, with a million jokes a minute coming at you in full madness, with gags like wolves hating the jerky the girls are selling or a kid being kept in a cage (yikes) and others like that! It’s a sort of cartoony, everyone is an idiot but not in the annoying way kind of humor and it shines in a show like this. I know I usually focus on characters and heart, but sometimes, it’s ok to just be funny. And that’s what this show does. It’s hard to explain jokes in things like these, but it was sort of nostalgic to look back at mid 2000′s cartoon humor.

CHARACTERS: 3 Out of 5 (”Todd Strikes Out” and “The Jerky Girls”)

This is by no means a deep character study of two orphans finally getting the life they want and dealing with parents for the first time: In fact, I wouldn’t blame you for forgetting they were. This is merely a comedy show, so deep dives into our leads are not gonna happen.

So how do you judge characters when they are not trying to be anything more than jokes? Well, simple! You judge by how much they entertain you!

And that’s why I believe a 3 is the best score here. We have our usual tropes: The not annoying sister, the annoying brother, the dumb dad, the overly competent mom, the bully, the mean girl, the nerd, the best friends, etc. etc. etc. And while none of them are spectacular by any means (my fave is Riley, and only because she is voiced by Grey Griffin), they are all fun ENOUGH to get the story going and the jokes hitting.

So really, this goes to show that you don’t need great characters to tell a good story, even if it would be better if they were. So yeah, I guess that explains that.

STORY AND HEART: 3 Out of 5 (”Todd Strikes Out” and “The Jerky Girls”)

The heart in these, I guess, is in the morals. But just like the stories, you’ve seen these a hundred times: It’s no fun if you don’t win, but it’s no fun if you take it too seriously, and don’t lie, because that’s not ok. And like, yeah, good messages and all. There are a few odd things about them (Riley wouldn’t get punished for what she did, she IS only 13, but the replacement should be in jail for breaking his sponsership contracts Shark Tale style, I know this is a cartoon logic universe but still), and like, yeah, these stories have been done over and over.

But there is a reason they are: When used for comedy, most of these tropes can be fun to watch! And admittedly, those were some fun tropes, even without any twists. As I’ve been saying across this whole review, not every show has to be the deepest examination of our flaws. It’s ok to sit back and relax sometimes with something funny. And this was funny after all.

FINAL SCORE: 10 Out of 15 (”Todd Strikes Out” and “The Jerky Girls”)

Both end up with respectable scores (The Jerky Girls ranked higher due to Todd being annoying) and we move on to our next show, Brandy and Mr. Whiskers! Never was a big fan, outside of this one online game that was cool, but hey, who knows? It’s an intriguing premise to say the least!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/194d3gsPrhlOsFPYsXU-lJirY4sWncrBl/edit#

#The replacements #grey griffin #disney channel #disney cartoons #spongeguy #every Disney Animated Show Reviewed

4 notes · View notes

my-creative-hell · 4 years

Text

Hostile (Lab experiment au)

Grave sits silently in Jeff’s office as he runs around, looking through his drawers and cupboards, pulling out files and papers pertaining to the job she would finally be starting tonight. He looks a little more stressed than he normally would, his overly cheerful demeanour slightly dampened as he rushes around.

“Sorry for the wait Grave, just a little frazzled today.” Jeff explains, apologetic to the younger colleague sitting in his office in front of him. Grave had only just started entering the building for proper work, all of her basic training finally complete, Jeff trusting her enough to leave her alone on a shift with the work she was supposed to be doing, instead of giving her filler work for her training as he had been forced to do due to the unique circumstances of her job.

“Its okay!” Grave smiles, tapping her fingers quietly on her legs as she watches Jeff, feeling elated that she would finally be able to begin work, wanting to get stuck right into it. It makes Jeff smile as he finally manages to gather everything together, making a hasty walk back to his desk to put it all down.

“I appreciate you being so patient with all the training sessions we’ve forced you to do, but obviously you understand that we are working with very sensitive information the public can never know about.” Jeff sits down as he speaks, a small huff escaping him as he opens some of the files, getting ready to show Grave the contents.

Grave nods, her fingers wiggling as she listens to Jeff, though she tries to stop them, feeling happy as Jeff smiles at her once again, and reaching to pull out some more papers with writing and print on them.

“So, you have completed your training, and very well I might say, so the next thing to do before we introduce you and allow you to get acclimatised with the subjects is to go through some of the information we have on them. Does that sound good?” Jeff explains in a neutral, though slightly excited voice, his eyes flicking up to look at Grave as he rifles through the papers and files.

“Yes sir.” Grave nods, behaving more seriously now, stopping her wriggling as she looks at Jeff, waiting for him to continue his words.

“That’s good.” Jeff smiles kindly as he pulls out some of the files, placing them in front of Grave. The files display pictures of the two subjects, one of them being a shorter ginger haired girl, whereas the other seems to be a taller and more toned black haired boy. “So, these are the two subjects you will be working closely with. They are twin specimens, codenames Arazabeth and Furrorfall, though they prefer the names Hannah and Iden.” Jeff begins explaining, looking to Grave after he delivers the first chunk of information to her.

“They look cool.” Grave’s fingers start to wiggle again slightly as she speaks, feeling the happiness creeping back into her as she looks at the pictures, making Jeff smiles again.

“Depending on who ask, they are… remind me, have you been told anything about them yet, or have you been left in the dark?” Jeff questions, wanting to understand exactly how informed Grave was about these subjects, who she would have to deal with from then on.

“Uh… no! I haven’t been told anything.” Grave informs Jeff kindly, him nodding as he pulls out more files on the subjects to read information off of for Grave.

“Right then, lets start with basic information. They are fourteen years of age, and have been here since they were artificially created. Their genes have been under alteration since foetal development. These alterations have given Subject 1, or Iden the ability to heal wounds, both his own and others, though large wounds present a challenge. Subject 2, or Hannah is capable of manipulating shadows, manifesting them in physical forms and using them. We also suspect both twins, especially Subject 2, have the capability to sense things in humans farther than our own perception, though it is hard to prove. Understand so far?” Jeff questions, wanting to make sure Grave was processing the information being thrown her way properly.

“I understand.” Grave nods once again, focusing on the words being said to her, wanting to absorb them and understand them as best as she can.

“Good.” Jeff smiles gently before continuing. “So, basic information aside, your job with these subjects is to potentially perform minor tests on them in your shifts, but your main role is that of a safeguarding presence and data recorder, so writing up previous data the day time tests will have produced. This sounds easy, but the twins will no doubt make it slightly harder for you…” Jeff trails off at those words, looking slightly more nervous as he approaches the subject of the twin’s temperaments, unsure of how to explain it to grave in an effective manner.

“Are you okay?” Grave holds her hands to stop them from wiggling, instead focusing on Jeff, who nods slightly as he takes a breath to continue with what he needed to say.

“I-I’m fine, but I am very aware no one will have informed you on the twins behaviours, for fear of you refusing to continue and work with them…” Jeff smiles nervously as he watches Grave for her reaction to his words.

“I mean, this is kind of my job now, so I can only try my best and not give up.” Grave assures Jeff, shrugging as she tries to word her thoughts in a professional manner.

“Well I’m glad. All I can say is don’t expect them to speak to you much or be polite. Don’t get too close to them or their cages unless needed for a test. And absolutely don’t use rude language or shout around them, they will respond poorly. Does that all make sense?” Jeff asks, his face serious now, driving home the importance of he situation.

“Yes sir.” Grave nods, stopping her wiggling completely as she now looks at Jeff, who smiles slightly before continuing his final explanation to Grave.

“They are fourteen, but they do not seem it. Their voices are underused, so they sound younger, their mannerisms match that of adults. They will likely remain in their own space with each other and ignore you unless there is necessary work. They have refused to work with all other staff, who also now refuse to work with them. Are you willing to give them a chance?” Jeff questions Grave in a serious tone, wanting her to understand the likely reality of working with the twin subjects, who were notorious for being disobedient and rude.

“Yes sir.” Grave speaks in a serious tone, her face matching it as she looks to Jeff, who breaks his own serious face in favour of a soft smile.

“Well, now that I’m through scaring you, shall we go and meet the subjects?” He looks at Grave, the question lingering on his tongue slightly, worry pulsing through him at what Grave would think of the twins, and what they might do to Grave.

“Yes please!!!” Grave’s face stretches, a small smile presenting itself as she answers, Jeff grinning in return as he stands up, bringing one of the files with him in case Grave needed to refer back to the information she had been told.

“Lets go introduce you.” Jeff says kindly as he walks to the door of his office, opening it to walk out with Grave and show her the way.

Grave follows Jeff excitedly as he walks down the hallway, bypassing all the other doors in the facility until they reach the one at the very end, which he pushes open hesitantly, revealing a small strip of hallway behind it.

“They are in that room inside their cages, so remain calm, alright?” Jeff reminds Grave, pointing towards the room on the other side of the hallway where the twin subjects reside inside their specially built cages, rooms built inside of them that they then reside in.

“Got it.” Grave nods, feeling calm and remaining calm even as Jeff smiles, putting his hand on the lab door to push it open.

“Then lets go.” Jeff pushes open the door, leading Grave inside the lab. The room seemed to be split in two, half of it the lab for Grave to work in, while the other half was the ‘cage’ Jeff had been referring to. It wasn’t a traditional cage. Instead it was a very large room, complete with beds the subjects would sleep on, furniture and some entertainment for them, with blocked off invisible sections containing the bathrooms. The room was encased with reinforced glass walls, the front one, which faces into the lab complete with a barred surface that Grave and the subjects could interact through. The cage did seem to be unlockable, not that Grave was planning on doing that currently, but it was good to know. As Grave enters, the subjects are currently on one of the beds, interacting and watching something together.

“Hi.” Grave smiles carefully as she waves to the subjects, staying calm for them. They both look to her, the one named ‘Hannah’ frowning immediately, moving back on the bed to get further away from the humans in the room, ‘Iden’ following her slowly, eyes wearily watching them.

“Sorry that you’re usually treated like shit.” Grave uses a hushed voice as she carefully sits down on the floor, a small smile tugging at her face. Jeff’s face twists into a smile of his own as he watches the interaction, silently waving goodbye to Grave as he leaves the room, leaving the files on her desk as he does so. The two subjects watch Grave with weary eyes, Iden looking more apprehensive of her, while Hannah looks more on the defensive side. She mumbles something under her breath, too faint for Grave to make out.

Grave flops onto the floor, rolling silently to her desk, though she doesn’t get up immediately, the floor preventing her until she stands up again. The twins watch her for a moment, Iden eventually managing to distract his twin, pointing down to what they had been previously watching. He whispers to her out of earshot, Hannah huffing in response.

Grave gets off of the floor, pulling herself to her desk to look at the files Jeff had left behind for her, detailing her work for the night. Iden and Hannah sit on what Grave could only presume to be Iden’s bed, watching whatever show or movie was on the tablet between them, not paying attention to Grave anymore as they watch.

Grave grabs a pen from her desk, ready to begin working, though her brain seems to wander off, daydreaming as she becomes unaware of the reality around her. The twins sit on Iden’s bed, absorbed in their show as they pointedly ignore Grave. But after a short while, Hannah looks over to her, noticing that she hadn’t done anything, making her frown out of confusion.

Grave’s brain remains checked out of the situation as her body throws the file she had been holding away from her quickly, startling the twins and making them jump, Hannah almost falling off of the bed. Iden puts down the tablet they were watching as Hannah gets off of the bed, both of them staring at Grave as Hannah gets a little bit closer to her, apprehensive and nervous about getting too close.

“Sorry.” Grave snaps herself back into reality, getting up from her desk to fetch the file as Hannah watches her, backing up carefully, though she doesn’t return to her twin on the bed. Instead she opts to continue watching Grave, trying to figure out what felt so different about her when compared to the other workers, and why it didn’t necessarily feel bad.

“You guys can do your thing for a little longer before we start the test.” Grave explains as she retrieves the file from the floor, standing up again, her feet tapping against the floor a little as she speaks. Hannah’s eyebrows knit together in a small frown as she backs up, slowly joining her twin on the bed, though she flicks her eyes to Grave every now and then on impulse.

Grave watches the wall, tapping her fingers on the desk below her as her mind works ahead, thinking of a plethora of random thought as she allows it to run free. Iden attempts to keep Hannah calmer, repeatedly poking her to refocus her on the show they were attempting to watch on the tablet, though Hannah continues to look stiffer than her twin counterpart as she attempts to ignore Grave.

Grave stops tapping her fingers, her body instead moving itself in small twitches to fill the time as the twins both continue to watch their show. Iden has managed to seemingly calm Hannah down, blocking her view of Grave with his own body as he places the tablet closer to her face, forcing her to watch the show on it instead as they ignore Grave. Eventually, her twitching stops and she turns towards the twins.

“Hey, um… are you guys okay to do a test right now? You can do it tomorrow if you aren’t.” Grave uses a soft voice as she questions them, both twins turning to look at her. Iden reacts quickly, turning the tablet off and swinging his legs over the bed, dragging his twin with him as he stands up. He nods gently as they both move to be a bit closer, keeping their distance from Grave still as they sit on the floor in front of her. Despite acting quickly, their minds spin. Never before had they been asked what they actually wanted. And though they were still way too uncomfortable and weary to trust Grave, something seemed different about her, and they weren’t sure it was bad.

“Cool!” Grave begins to set up the test for the twins as they sit on the floor watching her, patiently waiting, knowing that the test would likely be a speech test. Their voices were so underused, they lacked development, and recently the staff had begun doing speech therapy with them to develop their voices. But often they would get upset with them for speaking improperly, making the twins apprehensive of how Grave would react during the test.

Grave finishes scanning her instructions, moving to sit in front of the twins, joining them on the floor outside of the cage, deeming her chair unnecessary.

“Repeat after me, please.” Grave requests kindly, the twins looking down to the floor slightly as they listen, used to the disturbed looks and harsh words of the other workers about their black coloured eyes. Hannah fiddles with her fingers absentmindedly as Iden nods in acceptance of Grave’s request for them. Grave opens her mouth to give the twins a sentence or word to repeat, though as she does that all thoughts of what she was going to say leave her mind.

“…Fuck.” Is all Grave can utter as her brain works to think of something. That word makes Hannah snap her head up to look at Grave for a moment, slight shock overtaking her features before she looks back down at the floor, the look vanishing as soon as it appeared.

“F-f-fuck…” Hannah repeats the word quietly, unsure if she should even say it, or if she was allowed to. Iden doesn’t follow the sentiment, his mind not processing the situation fast enough to respond as Hannah did. Her voice can be heard by Grave now, revealing just how little the two twins ever spoke. Hannah’s voice is broken, sounding crackled and weak as she forces it through her throat, the volume barely above a whisper, and already sounding strained and sore.

“Okay, um… can you say your names please?” Grave makes another request, using a soft voice, unable to stop smiling for some reason at hearing Hannah swear.

“I-Iden…” Iden begins this time, his voice equally strained and weak as his twins, neither of them speaking much above a whisper, yet their voices still managed to sound strained and thin.

“H-Hannah…” She fiddles with her fingers as she answers quietly, both twins avoiding looking at Grave as they attempt to speak as coherently as possible.

“Good! Do you… do you have a favourite thing?” Grave asks kindly, wanting to be as nice as possible to the twins as she works with them. They look slightly confused by her questioning, though they keep it to themselves, unwilling to create any conflict as they think over their answers.

“T-t-tablet…” Iden responds quietly, clearly trying to speak as clearly as he can for Grave, his face scrunching slightly in effort.

“M-my b…bed.” Hannah is equally quiet once again, unmoving in her seat on the floor, apart from fiddling and picking at her hands silently as she complies with Grave’s questions.

“Um… do you like… space?” Grave starts to rock, feeling happier as she tries to think of more questions for the twins. Hannah frowns at the questions as she picks at her hands, unsure of how to answer.

“S-S-Space…?” Iden enquires in a quiet and crackled voice, looking from the floor to glance at Grave for a split second as he questions her cautiously.

“Yeah! Its like… um… there’s other planets and galaxies and stuff and its cool!” Grave exclaims, excited inside though she managed to keep herself calm as she speaks. Hannah mumbles something inaudibly in response as she frowns more, her face scrunching as Iden looks at her, shifting her gaze further to the floor.

“Uh, do you like cats?” Grave asks, a small pit of concern growing inside of her as she watches the interaction, making it harder for her to think of subjects for the twins.

“N-never s-s-seen…” Hannah shakes her head as she answers in a scratchy voice, sounding slightly more frustrated. It annoyed both twins that they had never seen such things, made them feel even more abnormal than they knew they were. Grave gasps gently.

“I have some pictures of cats! Wanna see?” She asks happily, but Iden looks panicked at the question, backing away slightly, Hannah not moving but keeping her eyes turned to the floor.

“N-n-not allowed!” Iden’s voice raises slightly, though it still remains very quiet in its register. But it becomes scratchier as he panics.

“May I know why?” Grave asks gently, not angry by any means of the word, more confused by Iden’s reaction. Hannah huffs in response, pulling her legs into her chest as she tries to stop picking at her hands.

“N-n-no o-outside influence. S-so we d-d-don’t want to l-l-leave…” Hannah mutters, frowning as she stares at the ground.

“Oh…” Grave smiles gently. “I can ask if I could bring in a plush cat. It’s not anything… too bad, I think.” Grave offers, wanting to spoil the young twins before her, sensing their distrust and weariness around anyone who works with them, and knowing it was probably for good reason. Hannah’s face shifts to confusion for a moment, kindness from anyone but Iden a foreign concept to her, but she nods her head carefully as Iden shuffles back to join her, frowning slightly.

“Is it… is it okay if I give you guys a thing right now?” Grave asks gently, putting her hands in her pockets. The twins both look confused, Iden shuffling forward slightly in curiosity, though he still keeps a safe distance away from Grave, not completely trusting the situation as Hannah lifts her head slightly to watch her as Grave starts bouncing slightly.

“It um… i-it calms me down a lot. So I’m hoping if I give it to you, it’ll help calm you down when you feel aaa.” Grave explains, as Iden gets closer still, Hannah cautiously following him as they watch Grave silently, unsure of what was happening.

Grave pulls out two small plushies, one of them a red dog while the other is a purple seal, a small smile playing on her face. The twins both look genuinely surprised, never having seen anything like this in their lives before, making them both shuffle forward, the only thing separating them and Grave being the bars in front of them as they stare at the plushies curiously.

“You want em?” Grave asks kindly, looking at the twins gently. Iden reaches a hesitant hand through the bars, carefully taking the red dog from Grave, looking down at it in his hands. He gently squishes the plushy, surprised by the softness of it. Hannah’s face tells that she wants to pick the other one up, but she doesn’t for some reason.

Grave gently slides it closer to Hannah, a soft smile on her face as she does so, trying to reassure the child in front of her that it was okay for her to take it.

“G-get d-d-dirty…” Hannah half explains, squirming as a look of nervousness settles on her face, making her mumble as she looks at the toy.

“Eh, it can be washed when that happens.” Grave shrugs, but Hannah bites her lip, shuffling away from the bars and the plush, making Iden frown as his attention is drawn back to her.

“Y-You don’t have to take it if you don’t wanna.” Grave reassures, pulling the plush back a little bit as she tries to calm the girl in front of her. Iden seems to realise something, moving over to Hannah silently, sitting next to her and leaning over to look at something she was hiding from him, Hannah squirming as her eyes flick to look at Grave nervously.

“D-Do you want me to move or something?” Grave uses a kind and soft voice when talking to the twins, wanting to let them know they were okay.

“Hurt…” Hannah is quieter than ever, biting her lip as she admits the truth, looking away to avoid seeing Grave’s reaction, too used to being quarantined by staff to make sure she wasn’t trying to hurt herself and bein split off from Iden, who looks nervous at her admission as well.

“Can you show me where?” Grave asks gently, feeling concerned but keeping a calm façade for the twins, Hannah looking shaky as she pulls her hands away from her body, revealing a long scratch on the back of her left hand. She keeps away from Grave, weary of what she will do.

“Oh no… I’ll be right back.” Grave stands up and walks out of the room to get the med kit, her concern for the child growing. The twins watch her leave, staying very still, Iden attempting to calm Hannah own as they both assume the worst.

Grave re-enters the room moment’s later, med kit in tow, sitting in front of the twins once again. The only thing she feels is concern as she watches Hannah, who eyes Grave wearily, holding her hand to herself.

Grave gently reaches out; Hannah hesitantly giving her the injured hand, which Grave carefully and gently cleans for Hannah. There is no hint of menace in her actions as she softly places a bandage over the wound, making sure its put on properly. Hannah watches Grave the whole time, on edge.

“N-n-no q-quarantine?” She asks in a very quiet voice, nervous to even try to ask the question, scared to hear what the answer might be.

“Of course not! Its just a scratch, nothing too bad.” Grave smiles gently, Hannah’s mind racing as she tries to understand the kindness behind her gestures.

“B-but n-n-not allowed…” Hannah bites her lip softly as she looks at her hand, whispering the words nervously, shifting her gaze quickly to Grave in a glance.

“I mean, nobody has to know…” Grave shrugs, Hannah turning to look at Grave, holding her gaze as a look of surprise washes over her, making her look like the child she is.

“W-w-won’t t-tell?…” Hannah questions in a small and confused voice, looking at Grave as she tries to figure this new person out.

“I wont tell. Promise.” Grave smiles as she nods softly, a small smile spreading over Hannah’s face as she looks down to the floor again.

“T-t-t-thank y-you…” It’s nothing more than a quiet whisper, but a lot of emotion from the child is contained in those words.

“You’re welcome.” Grave smiles softly as she speaks, Iden joining the two of them quietly, holding his plushy to his chest, enjoying the sensation.

Grave starts to rock slightly in her happiness, remaining quiet for the twins as Hannah bites her lip, reaching a hand through the bars of the cage to gently hold one of Grave’s hands, curious to test the boundaries with her.

A large smile works across Grave’s face, though she looks away, attempting to maintain her calmness for the sake of the children in front of her, despite her current happiness. Hannah is silent as she holds onto Grave’s hand, the position the twins are in allowing Grave to see the many small scars that litter the skin on their bodies, particularly their arms.

“I-If you don’t wanna answer, that’s fine, but um…” Grave looks at the twins, a small amount of concern building. “How did you get those scars?” She asks in a gentle and soft voice. Hannah surprisingly doesn’t let go of Grave’s hand a she looks up at her.

“T-t-training…” Hannah mumbles quietly, looking at Grave with eyes that had seen too much for her age. “T-tests…” She continues with her vague explanation, not sure what else she could say.

“Oh no.” Grave looks more concerned as she speaks. “That’s shitty… really, really shitty.” She comments, but Hannah shakes her head, the hand holding Grave’s starting to shake slightly.

“F-f-fine… n-not h-h-human…” Hannah explains as she looks down to the floor, avoiding eye contact with Grave as she presents the case that had been drilled into the twins by many of the other workers.

“Its still not fine! That’s like killing a dog and saying ‘Hey, its fine. Its not a human!’” Grave huffs, her concern only growing as Hannah frowns.

“T-t-they told y-you what w-we d-d-do… m-monsters…” Hannah shakes more as she speaks, her voice frail and upset sounding.

“That’s only because you were never treated right.” Grave’s voice gets softer, Hannah biting her lip gently. With the hand that isn’t holding Grave’s, she shakily produces a manifestation of shadows, taking the form of a spike.

“B-b-bad…” Hannah tries to explain, referring to her example as she shakes, looking away from Grave.

“No, its actually kinda cool. Not being human isn’t a bad thing.” Grave tries to reassure the twins in a soft manner.

“H-h-how?…” Hannah questions, looking as if she is on the verge of tears as she questions Grave, looking away from her in an attempt to distance herself from the situation.

“Because its just not. That’s like saying the sun is good, but the moon is bad.” Grave tries to explain, gently squeezing Hannah’s hand.

“The m-moon d-d-doesn’t hurt p-people…” Hannah has tears in her eyes as she hangs her head down, not knowing how to understand or accept what Grave was saying, so unused to people trying to be nice. Grave nods carefully.

“It can. You can die from lack of oxygen. That’s not fun.” Grave tries to tear apart Hannah’s reasoning softly, using kindness to try and break through to the children in front of her.

“…p-people like m-m-moon…” Hannah mumbles as she brings her free hand up to wipe at the tears falling down her cheeks, her shaking continuous.

“And the sun. they’re both beautiful.” Grave is quieter now as she speaks, unsure of what to say to the upset children. Hannah bites her free hand gently, trying not to cry even more.

“W-w-who likes u-us?…” She asks quietly, sounding broken and disheartened, not believing there could be an answer to that question.

“I do.” Grave looks at the twins with kindness in her eyes, her face reading a soft expression. Neither twin is able to contain themselves at that statement, tears pouring down both Hannah and Iden’s cheeks. Hannah tries to hold them back, hiding her face as she shakes intensely, both twins wanting nothing more than a comforting hug from Grave.

“…Do you want me to come over to your side?” Grave asks softly, wanting to give the twins the affection they craved from her.

“B-b-but… n-not allowed…” Iden looks concerned as he speaks, wanting her to come to them but worried it would have consequences for both them and Grave.

“I wont tell.” Grave speaks in a hushed voice, Iden going quiet at that remark, bowing his head as he gives a small nod of confirmation, both twins continuing to cry as they listen to Grave.

Grave moves through the bars of the cage swiftly, enveloping the two twins in a warm and soft hug, both of them taking to it immediately, melting into Grave as they instantly begin to calm down, clinging onto her gently.

Grave smiles, her heart beating fast out of happiness as the two warm twins hug her gently, not speaking for fear of ruining the moment as they cling to her softly. Their tears fall to a stop as they calm down, some of the extra tiredness they are feeling creeping into them from their previous tests that day.

Grave begins humming quietly, a soft melody designed to calm and make the twins feel safe. And that it does, both twins start relaxing more, leaning into Grave gently as they do, beginning to get sleepy as they calm down.

Graves gets warmer as she hugs the two twins, continuing her soft humming, creating a soothing song for them. The two twins feel sleepier the longer they hug Grave, though they resist saying anything to her about it. They were only tired due to their sedation test earlier, and they didn’t want to mention it.

A calm and happy smile rests itself on Grave’s face as she hugs the twins, feeling very protective of them. The twins grow almost unbearably sleepy, Grave feeling warm and comfortable as they snuggle into her.

“I love you.” Grave speaks in a hushed voice, her feet tapping softly out of happiness as she hugs the sleepy twins, who let out small content whines as she speaks, clinging gently onto her as they rapidly grow more tired.

Graves heart begins to slow down as she herself starts to feel sleepier, happiness flowing through her as she twins desperately hold onto their consciousness, quiet as they bask in the warmth and comfort Grave provides them.

Grave closes her eyes as she gets more tired, the twins close to sleep, Hannah practically asleep already as they loosely cling onto Grave for safety.

Grave relaxes happily as both twins fall asleep in their own time, leaning softly against Grave as their eyes close, allowing them to drift off feeling safe and happy, with someone they felt they could soon consider to be a friend.

#writing with friends #writing #my writing #original writing #not my oc #others ocs #original characters #original story #lab experiment au #alternate universe #sleepisafuckinglie #House of Hell

3 notes · View notes

soraegeeks · 5 years

Text

Review: Quiet Rapture

Alright kids I’m back with another review/reaction piece, whatever you want to call it. Up next is Quiet Rapture a BKDK story by Lalazee. Set in the canon universe with Quirks but Izuku is Quirkless. The story is 22 chapters in right now and might be the first Alpha/Beta/Omega story I read. I think? Maybe? Anyway, before we get started a few things:

A. This will be a LONG piece. While I reread I ended up with eight pages of notes in my notebook. *smdh*

II. Warning for anyone planning to read QR there are discussions of past abuse, intimate partner violence, sexual assault, and violent acts so there are some dark moments.

三. Lalazee created thematic Spotify playlists and there’s a Quiet Rapture one that I’ve been listening to while reading, rereading and writing this.

Alright so let’s get rolling with the official summary:

“That ABO fic where cocky Alpha Bakugou falls in mate-love at first scent, while Midoriya is just a poor bookstore-owning Omega who got his nose punched in is a kid and can't smell a damn thing. Also known as: That time an Alpha had to use his actual personality to woo his mate instead of relying on his scent.”

Off the break we have Katsuki Bakugou losing his shit walking into the bookstore and being overwhelmed by Izuku Midoriya’s scent. I love the description of his scent: “Thunderstorm, ozone, electricity.” I know EXACTLY what that ozone smell is. The smell of the air right before a thunderstorm. I was an adult before I found out that it wasn’t my imagination that there was a smell and a name for it.

So, Katsuki is overcome by his Alpha instincts and subsequently almost ends up with a broken nose. Izuku is no ordinary Omega and he was having none of that aggressive shit..and Katsuki was intrigued by this. Katsuki's inner Alpha, though, immediately believes that Izuku is his mate. Imagine his shock upon learning that Izuku can’t smell him and he has to talk to explain what he’s smelling. HAAA! The twist that Izuku can’t smell anything so he isn’t driven by pheremones and uses his other senses to try and figure people out is so quirky. I can imagine Izuku cocking his head to the side with a look of curiosity. Then the ego popped up when Katsuki introduced himself. LAWD LOL “You at least owe me one damn date…” someone stop this fool. And Izuku easily just dismissed him and blew poor Katsuki’s damn mind.

A stakeout. Katsuki Bakugou and Kirishima Eijirou on a stakeout?! Oh, this is pure comedy!!! Katsui pumping out all of those damn Alpha pheromones and killing poor Kiri in the car. Please someone help Kiri as he gasps for air out of the window. BWAAAAA Kiri really wants him to get laid and chill out and he can’t figure out why Katsuki smells the way he does. And Katsuki’s ass is smelling the book he bought from Izuku like a lovesick puppy. Did they even gather any intel during their stakeout after all of their shenanigans?! LOL

Back to the bookstore and big bad Alpha Katsuki is in trouble again. Izuku is a FIGHTER and not going to let himself get boxed in by Katsuki’s Alpha shenanigans. (Shenanigans is my son’s favorite word and one of mine as well. LOL) ANNNDDDD we have now crossed the line. Katsuki scent marked Izuku without his consent. WOO BOY! No, Just NO!!!

We get some insight into Izuku and why he smells the way he does. In this telling Omega’s smell very sweet, almost pastry-like and Izuku has an earthy smell. By luck of genetics Izuku is an Omega with Alpha traits. His body could have presented as either one being dominant and the other recessive. As a result his scent is strong and suppressive drugs don’t work for him. Of course, this is something private that he doesn’t easily share.

Ok, Izuku’s cat Natsume isn’t a cat! That’s a small bear, I don’t care. LOL The headbutting and whining thing is very familiar. My cats act like the world is ending when the food level is low in their bowls. *smdh* Enter Hitoshi Shinsou!! I read the manga in addition to watching the anime and Shinsou has grown on me as one of my faves. I always love how his quiet, brooding character is portrayed. And he’s wearing the scarf. The LONG white scarf capture weapon!!!! And who the hell pops up out of nowhere but Katsuki in full-on Alpha protective mode. He shoved Shinsou into a bookshelf and when Shinsou realized who it was he looked like the cat who ate the canary. Immediately into how much can I tease without overstepping mode. Like oho my best friend purposely didn’t tell me who his “stalker” was, who scented him and it’s big bad Katsuki Bakugou who has never shown an interest in anyone. “As much as I love the whole mystery surrounding this, because – let’s face it – your life is about as exciting as a game of backgammon at the old folks’ home these days.” WHAATT???!!! LMAO Shinsou’s an ass but a master of diffusing a situation. LOL Izuku on the other hand is a firecracker. He was PISSSEEED off by Katsuki but his inner Omega was like ok let’s do this especially after finding out that Katsuki had cooked for him (a subconscious Alpha provision method)! I did find it interesting that Izuku didn’t notice/point out that Katsuki was overly familiar by calling him by his first name!!! Katsuki wants that damn date so bad and still feels entitled to it. *smh*

Whoahohoooo. What do we have here?! Katsuki had a wet dream (and apparently has BEEN having dreams) about Izuku. Lawd, his inner Alpha has it BAAADD! For the record, who the hell drinks scalding hot tea??!!! No one but this fool. LOL And why he thought that demanding a date as opposed to asking and confirming was a good idea. But ya know, Alpha who knows nothing about relationships especially not with a skittish mate. His “spiteful little Omega” is MORE than a match for him. LOL I love that their interactions are forcing Katsuki to humble himself little by little. Always being told how great he is by everyone but Izuku breaks that mold. I also love that Izuku is sharing who he is through books. To me it’s a very intimate move. Izuku’s perspective on the world is interesting, though. He sees hero life as war mongering while Katsuki sees it as his duty to bring down the evil in the world. Izuku can learn to widen his world view, while Katsuki can learn to not be so aggressive towards his “miniature Alpha.”

It’s Bakusquad time!!!! Katsuki’s crew is a joy to me. I love these fools especially when they’ve been drinking! And their sworn mission for the night is to rescue Katsuki from the train wreck that is his love life. The interaction was interesting when they realized that Katsuki was pining after a guy. He was very concerned that they’d tease him for his sexual preference and I felt sad for him. To him he has never had an orientation, he just is and the only person he’s cared about is Izuku so that’s him, Izuku-lover. Good job Mina with the suggestion that he apologize for his behavior with a gift for Izuku. And yay Kiri for the advice on physical no-nos when approaching an Omega. Katsuki did well with gift selection and presenting the gift without crowding Izuku. Izuku surprised him with his preheat reaction. Izuku’s inner Omega was so happy to receive a gift and Katsuki’s inner Alpha was SO happy to provide. Good on Katsuki for immediately leaving, not so good when he came back to the bookstore and got into an argument. He is the king of self-destruction. Pre-heat Izuku and a riled up Katsuki. *sigh* I’m enjoying how there are little signs here and there of how Izuku’s inner Omega is reacting to Katsuki. The early heat, the fact that Izuku is WEARING the gift that Katsuki gave him, and how he scent marked Katsuki. Izuku is determined that his mind will overcome his nature.

Enter a character who I think had SO MUCH potential in the manga, Kai Chisaki. Katsuki ran into him while looking for Izuku at the bookstore. Izuku’s heat had come on and Kai was manning the store. He instantly goaded Katsuki into an argument. Kai does NOT like heroes and Katsuki was defensive about that and also irritated that here was another of Izuku’s friends that he couldn’t figure out the connection with. Katsuki jumps off of the deep end after leaving the bookstore. He totally abused his position as a Pro Hero and had the database searched to get Izuku’s address. Sigh. Not cool Katsuki. Izuku accused you of being a stalker and that is totally stalkerish behavior!! Katsuki learned more about Izuku while talking him through his heat from the opposite side of his front door but it was a HUGE gamble and inappropriate. From the talking though Katsuki started to realize how naive his worldview is. He’s always been focused on being the #1 hero and he never entertained the pain others’ paths may have contained. Hearing Izuku alluding to being sexually assaulted was heartbreaking. Katsuki did show restraint in not breaking down Izuku’s door. Honestly, even without his quirk he was strong enough to do it. It was heartwarming that he sat outside the door and read to Izuku so he could sleep. It was STILL wrong that he was there and Shinsou said as much when he saw Katsuki there. It’s interesting how they’re all bending/skirting the law even Shinsou when he used his Quirk on Katsuki to find out how he got there. I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the same while trying to protect my best friend and Katsuki knew it. Shinsou didn’t seem to bat an eye when Katsuki called Izuku his “mate.” Shinsou has a soft spot for his classmate and as he’s said before he knows more than he lets on about people. I was surprised that none of Izuku’s neighbors said anything. Maybe they were too scared of the imposing Alpha sitting outside of Izuku’s door.

Guys night out and as expected Kai and Inasa were NOT happy to learn about the stunt that Katsuki pulled. (Side note: I love Inasa Yoarashi. He’s so big and full of life!) Lawd, if Inasa had gotten a hold of Katsuki. WOAH! Shinsou is still an ass, but what else is new. He’s an instigator but also calmed the situation when he called Katsuki’s number and gave Izuku the phone. It threw Izuku for a loop but it also allowed him to be the one to deal with the situation. Shinsou and Shouto are good friends and knowing Katsuki better than anyone else in their friend group, they tried to give Izuku some more insight into him. Izuku was confronted with some preconceived notions that he had about Katsuki. Maybe he isn’t the playboy that Izuku assumed he was. Hmmmm. It was good to read about Izuku’s pack and to see that he does have people who care about him.

The Omega murders. There’s evidently someone or some people attacking Omegas, tearing out their scent glands and leaving them for dead. Like WHAT THE HELL???!!!! It was interesting to see Momo Yaoyorozu and Mashirao Ojiro mentioned. I like to see what the rest of class 1-A is doing in this AU. Soooo, why does Camie smell like blood??!!!! Her day was “extra murdery?” The hell did she encounter in the day and can they send her back to take another shower?! And why is she so against her Omega secondary gender?! I noticed in an earlier chapter when she overheard Katsuki talking to Kiri about Izuku. How do you call others like you “weak” and dissociate yourself just because you’re a Pro Hero? And wow at Katsuki’s confrontation with Amajiki. It was all Katsuki’s fault, though. He raised Amajiki’s suspicion that Izuku might have something to do with the murders and Katsuki TOTALLY overreacted to his Omega superior. Katsuki LOST IT and was put in his place when Mirio scruffed him. Pack hierarchy at work. Up until that point I hadn’t thought about who would be bigger and badder! LOL Something that caught my eye though was Katsuki mentioning an Alpha smelling like “rot and sewage.” Was he saying that Mirio smelled like that or was he having a flashback? Anyway, he’s lucky that he was only sent home early and told to take the next day off. Who would have expected Katsuki to seek out Shouto for advice? Shouto Todoroki of ALL people! And wait, Katsuki asking someone for help in general??!!! Growth in his adult years. LOL I chuckled heartily that Katsuki and Shouto ended up wearing matching turtlenecks. TWINSIES!! Shouto, as is, canon was no help as expected and a little oblivious. But Shinsou in his Pusheen pajamas did what he could. (Pusheen pajamas, though! My son would LOVE some LOL)

Next chapter is a flashback of how Izuku and Shinsou met in their first year of high school. We learn that male Omegas are rare in this AU and even rarer as Heros. Izuku got into a fight and Shinsou stepped into help. They formed a bond, understanding each other like no one else could. Omegas that no one deemed worthy of anything. It was sad to read that that was the fight that cost Izuku his sense of smell.

Back to present and after Katsuki left Shinsou and Shouto’s place he went to Izuku’s apartment hoping to talk to him. Izuku’s building now has an outside lock and intercom system. I’d bet my house in the Hamptons (which I don’t have) that that was a result of Katsuki’s visit there a few weeks ago. Katsuki wasn’t sure if Izuku was going to let him in and it looked like Izuku wasn’t sure either. It’s interesting reading Izuku’s point of view and the tells that he notices about Katsuki. The little things that Katsuki is doing to not intrude or the semblances of control that Izuku hasn’t seen in Alphas that he had dealt with previously. Izuku’s hands are bigger than Katsuki’s?! Oooooh. Awww, Katsuki took Mina’s advice and he took a few seconds to stop himself from firing off his usual knee-jerk responses. And he is so shy talking about anything sexual and so blushy. I’m glad that those two goofballs were able to talk without arguing. Almost like they could be civil with each other. Ha! A slight ease and honesty. When Izuku teased Katsuki about knowing what Katsuki wanted to do more than he did Izuku assumed it had to do with what Izuku said before that other Alphas had done to him. Katsuki blushed but I think it was actually because he’s inexperienced. Katsuki meeting the “lion” Natume was HILARIOUS! I’m personally shocked by how big those things get. I have cats but that’s TOO much for me. LOL Izuku finally made an effort to find out a little about Katsuki, asking him how he liked his job. Izuku is oddly focused on “battles” and “killing” as if that’s all heroes do. But Katsuki loves his job and made sure to emphasize that killing is a minor part of it and only when unavoidable. Katsuki keeps surprising Izuku. He’s been so traumatized by previous Alphas that Katsuki's non-violent reactions throw him.

This is one of my favorite chapters. It’s New Year’s Eve and karaoke with the crews, Bakusquad and Izuku’s pack. Katsuki recognizes that Izuku has a lot of traumatic baggage and he is SPRUNG! It was supposed to be a night of enjoying time with his friends but all Katsuki can think about is Izuku. As if by magic BAM Izuku is next door in another karaoke room and the scent is OVERWHELMING. “The punch of petrichor was a sudden deluge to Katsuki’s senses, an overload that soaked him to the bone and weakened his wobbly knees.” Look “petrichor” might be my new favorite word. It’s going right into my commonplace book. LOL Why was Izuku ON TOP of the table singing??!!! I’m 5’5” as well and I’m just imagining walking in and seeing my drunk ass singing on a table and I can’t stop laughing. Comedy!! Katsuki almost got into a fight just swinging the door open, though. Kai was NOT happy to see him and Inasa was ready to play bodyguard. When Shinso was described as a meerkat looking above Inasa’s shoulder I immediately thought about that show Meerkat Manor. I LOVED that show...but I digress. I’m glad that their groups met thanks to Shinsou’s and Mina’s meddling. Katsuki and Izuku felt so played. LOL I thought Mina was a little uncouth with her comments about Izuku’s “smell”, though. Yeah, it’s “different” but she could have found another way to word it or just not said anything at all. It shouldn’t have been surprising that Izuku followed Katsuki when he went outside for a breather. It was surprising when Izuku kissed him (Katsuki’s first kiss!!!) and Katsuki was right for calling him out on trying to blame the attraction on him. These two still have lots to work out.

During their morning run, Mina did seem to make up for what she said during the party. She just has an odd way of wording things. Katsuki is starting to see that he can get advice from his friends but his connection with Izuku is different than those of his friends. Their advice can only take him so far and he and Izuku have to figure out the rest. Of course, it isn’t long before thirsty Katsuki heads to the bookstore. I love that Izuku’s scent immediately soothes him. And glad they’re talking a little more and slowly knocking some kinks into Izuku’s wall and opening Katsuki’s world.

The next chapter is hard. It’s a flashback into Izuku’s past. A glimpse into Izuku looking for something, anything to make him feel alive. Discovering hallucinogens, having his first sexual encounter, allowing someone to harm him leaving him with permanent damage. Unprotected sex that he barely remembers since he was under the influence. The introduction of Dabi, as Shinsou described him “a guy who looks like he wears other people's’ skin for fun.”

Back to the present and Izuku is at a therapy appointment. First off, I am so glad to see that with all of the trauma that we readers know about so far (and the trauma we don’t), he is seeing a therapist. As an aside, I was going through the chapters in my mind while in the shower and his conversation with his therapist went through my mind. Specifically, Izuku’s fear of going beyond moderation to excess and backsliding. That sat with me for a while. I am happy to see Eri in this AU and with Kai as her adopted father role. Also, happy to see “Mr. Yagi” as leaving his bookstore, his legacy, to Izuku. In a crazy turn of events Izuku is a witness to an Omega attack and kept the attacker from doing more harm. We definitely saw his Alpha traits as he hauled ass over to figure out what was going on. PROTECTIVE KATSUKI TO THE RESCUE!!!!! He was on duty and heard about the attack so he went to pick Izuku up from the police station and take him back to Katsuki’s house. OF COURSE these two butt heads because what else do they do. I giggled when Katsuki walked him outside and said “let’s go home, already.” I don’t think that he purposely phrased it that way but Izuku internally responded to it. When they finally make it to Katsuki’s house, he has a very sappy moment when Izuku compliments his place. Katuki prefers Izuku’s smaller place because it’s like him, “small, warm, smells like home.” Kiddies our boy is GONE! LOL Izuku is still convinced that Katsuki has/has had NUMEROUS romantic interests no matter how many times Katuki and their mutual friends have told him otherwise. And then they had A MOMENT in the kitchen!!!!! The desire and attraction is palpable in the air but they really need to get to know each other better.

And we start the next chapter with Katsuki’s very vivid ass wet dream. Good thing that Izuku can’t smell anything because that apartment had to have smelled like complete lust. LOL Katsuki saw Izuku’s damaged wrist gland and it broke his heart. All of the things in Izuku’s past that Katsuki couldn’t protect him from. There have been multiple references to Izuku “drowning” and not being able to breathe and it’s so sad. When will he be able to be out from all of that?

We’re introduced to Kota as a character but sadly as the kid in the latest Omega attack. And Camie with the Omega degradation again and now she’s on Katsuki’s case about Izuku. Sigh. Oh, I’ve been looking through the story comments and saw that folks are starting to suspect that she has something to do with the Omega murders and I’m inclined to agree that it’s suspicious. When Izuku rescued Kota he noticed that the attacker just disappeared and Camie’s quirk IS illusions. “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.” Hmmmm. Welp, it took a few weeks but Katsuki’s abusing his privilege to get Izuku’s address finally came back to bite him. A month’s suspension! OUCH! Again he’s lucky because he started to get aggressive against his superior again. Any mention of Izuku sends him over the deep end. Side note, I’m glad that I reread this chapter and noticed the unnamed mention of Dabi in Izuku’s file. With nowhere else to go Katsuki sought out Shinsou for advice. They’re becoming better adult friends. It’s amazing what a mutual connection will do. Our boy Katsuki is so sprung. He took his drunk ass to the bookstore, complemented Izuku and walked him home hand-in-hand. All full of sweetness and fluff. LOL

Wow Kai and Izuku. Kai has his own baggage that colors his view of heroes, all the while Inasa, a PRO HERO, has been sniffing around him for years trying to get his attention. Like brothers, Kai and Izuku argued. But if you can’t argue with your family about their bullshit who else can you argue with? Kai used the fact that Izuku’s last boyfriend raped and tried to kill him like a weapon. And the way Kai was described I don’t think that he’d ever seen Izuku as angry as he was at that moment. Kai was completely thrown off by the truths Izuku spouted back at him and “Tornado Gold Retriever” Inasa flew into protective Alpha mode when he saw them. Thankfully, Kai interceeded and calmed Inasa. When Inasa returned to give Izuku a pep talk it was so adorable. He’s just so honest and BIG with his feelings about life. Inasa was able to make Izuku consider a different way of thinking about himself and Katsuki. Izuku isn’t the scared younger man that he was before and maybe Katsuki isn’t that enemy Izuku was making him out to be. “But think of it this way. Bakugou is not your adversary. He’s on your team.” Well now! Thanks to Inasa, Izuku and Katsuki took a step closer in their relationship through the exchange of phone numbers. OH, and evidently the night that Bakugou has a vivid dream, so did Izuku. Well, WAYLE!!!

More fun with Bakusquad!!! With Katsuki being at home suspended I loved Sero teasing him when he claimed to not be bored. Yeah right Mr. Always Has to be Doing SOMETHING Work Related. Good friend banter is always the best. Like how do you tell your friend that his attacks against villains are just “light bondage??!!!” LMAO The worst. Yay, for Ochako being worked into the story. I like the mutual respect they developed in first year continues into their adulthood. I have to totally agree with his assessment that he is “lawful good” and Izuku is “chaotic good” cause these two fools are a mess!!! Katsuki the enemy of villains, Izuku the almost-vigilante turned pacifist. Heaven help them. LOL

Ugh, I was starting to wonder when Camie would show up and there she is again surprising Katsuki when he leaves the company gym. And that whole interaction made my skin CRAWL, like YOOO!!!! DO NOT TRUST HER!!! She came onto him so strongly. WHHYYY??!!! On some no one can resist her type crap. With her mentioning Izuku combined with my suspicions about her being involved with the murders makes me worried for Izuku.

Danger, Will Robinson! DANGER!!!! Katsuki is NOT prepared to deal with a pretty much in heat Izuku. YOO!!!! ABORT MISSION! RUN!!! Izuku flipped between wanton Omega and aggressive Alpha and Katsuki's head was spinning. Katsuki displayed the strength of Hercules (ha, a reference to Inasa’s comment back in chapter 10) when he kept his urges at bay and stopped him and Izuku from making a mistake. On end of all that he got the promise of a date! Way to go Ground Zero!

So first, Katsuki’s descriptions of Izuku’s anxious thoughts were SO familiar. UGH “Did Midoriya even sleep through a night for all the worry he brought into his own life?” THAT’S ME, THAT’S ME! UGH!!!! Next, we get more interaction with Ochako and it’s the best. Katsuki is so excited about his date with Izuku that he can’t think straight. “You go from scowling like a murderer to smiling like a shark in the span of minutes, and I think you’re legitimately scaring the children.” A SHARK??!!! BWAAAAAAA Everyone can tell that he’s smitten and his face can’t hide anything. And the moment (well, one of the moments) we’ve been waiting for has arrived. IT’S DATE DAY!!! OMG Katsuki killed me when he didn’t care who Izuku had been with prior. “Did you screw like twenty dudes in the past? Trick question - I don’t care.” WHO DOES THAT??!!! Katsuki F-ing Bakugou, that’s who. LMAO Poor Katsuki is so messed up that Izuku wore scent blockers and he can’t smell Izuku. He even WHINED!!!! Lawd, Katsuki is a goner. LOL And these two can’t go 5 minutes without arguing. They both have to be in charge. Indoor rock climbing with these two competitive asses. What could possibly go wrong?! Oh, only Izuku’s blockers wearing off and their combined scenets driving the Alpha customers into ruts. And the employee just wanted to earn his paycheck and now he has to deal with all of this insanity. LMAO Katsuki may have made an honest misstep when he offered to get Izuku’s nose fixed but he didn’t see it as a big deal. Add that to the list of things that should talk about in the future. Katsuki completely forgot that he’s a public figure and out of nowhere came some fans. As annoying as they were, it may have been a blessing in disguise because it interrupted the argument they had brewing. And it led to their cuteness in the convenience store trying on hero paraphernalia. Another Mr. Yagi reference. Of COURSE, it has to be the same person and I can’t wait to find out in what way Katsuki knows him in this story. I mean they already have the overlapping friend groups even though they never met in high school. Katsuki gets so riled up in their flirting that he’s pumping out pheromones again “in technicolor Alpha waves.” iDied!!!!! LMAO I really didn’t expect Mirio to call Katsuki but it was only a matter of time before SOMEONE saw his familiar face out in public. It tickled me when Katsuki was spinning in circles looking for a bodiless Mirio poking his head out of a potato chip display. LOL Now the question is what did Mirio see on the internet and how did it get there? Maybe at the rock climbing fiasco, or the fans who saw them on the street or maybe even at that convenience store since they’re eating right by a window. We shall seee!!!!!

The next chapter is another Izuku flashback. I love that Izuku has known about Katsuki since back in high school but when they met Katsuki didn’t know anything about him. LOL Izuku first meets Shouto over drinks with Inasa and Shinsou and inadvertently reveals that he knows about Shouto’s brother Dabi, err Touya. This connects with chapter 11 when Shouto brushed over how he first met Izuku while talking to Katsuki and in chapter 18 when Amajiki mentions that Izuku had a restraining order against a now villian. We also find out that Izuku has multiple cigarette burn scars from Dabi on his body. :( We also get more information about Jin, Izuku’s former boyfriend. I completely forgot that Jin was Twice’s real name and didn’t make the connection at first. Oops. Then his character description made complete sense. It connected to chapter 18 when Amajiki mentioned him and said he’d almost killed Izuku and also chapter 19 when Kai talks about Izuku’s rape and hospitalization. So, we’re getting a glimpse into Izuku’s life post-Dabi and during his time with Jin right before Izuku hits rock bottom. Looking back on the threats that Kai made against Katsuki and there’s no way he WASN’T response for Jin’s disappearance. Izuku is bruised from a previous interaction with Jin. We don’t know exactly WHAT happened but we know it’s happened multiple times with Jin not remembering or pretending to not remember. Sadly, I wonder if the end of the chapter lead into Jin’s attack on Izuku.

“Izuku flopped face-down on his own bed in a drowsy, drunken stupor, that he remembered he was meant to meet Jin at the end of the night.

Ah, well. He could handle a few more bruises.”

Welp, that’s it and it was A LOT. I can’t wait for the next chapter and the aftermath of the date.

#bnha #mha #ktdk #bkdk #bakudeku #katsudeku #So Rae Geeks Reviews #fic: Quiet Rapture #lalazee

39 notes · View notes

magickmoons · 6 years

Text

famous!Dean part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Dean looked up at the sound of the bell -- as he had every time someone had walked in during the half-hour he'd been waiting. He kept reminding himself that he'd gotten there insanely early, but with the arrival of each person who wasn't Cas, he became more and more discouraged. Why had Cas agreed to meet with him? The overly dramatic part of his mind wondered if Cas was planning to stand him up and alert the press -- get some nice pics of jilted Dean Winchester.

But it was Cas -- alone -- this time. Dean's heart pounded double-time as Cas walked over. Holy hell, the picture on the University website came nowhere close to capturing how drop-dead sexy adult Cas was. Dean had worked with some of the best looking Hollywood had to offer -- including at least 2 winners of the Sexiest Man Alive award -- and they didn't hold a candle to Cas, who was now taking his seat, staring at Dean intently.

"Hello, Dean."

"Cas ... tiel," he stammered, unsure if the familiar nickname would still be welcome. He nodded at the cup in front of Cas's seat. "I hope you still take it black."

"Thank you," Cas replied stiffly, lifting the cup and taking an experimental sip, fingers playing with the lid when he put it back down.

They sat in silence. Damn it, why had he thought this would be a good idea? Some misguided notion of giving Cas closure wrapped around the selfish hope of forgiveness.

The silence was getting to him and if one of them didn't speak soon, it was going to become fairly insurmountable.

"Cas, um ... Castiel, I --"

"Cas is fine, Dean."

"Okay, cool, yeah ... So, Cas ..."

Cas looked at him expectantly.

"Yeah, that's all I got so far." Dean grimaced sheepishly as Cas laughed.

"Well, we have at least established that we remember each other's names."

Dean tapped his temple. "Like a steel trap."

"Well," Cas started with a deep breath. "How are you?"

"How am I?' Dean repeated incredulously.

Cas shrugged. "I'm really not sure what we're supposed to talk about, Dean."

"Yeah, me neither. I thought this would flow a little better."

Cas frowned at him. "How so?"

"Well, I figured you would come in and just start yelling, we'd get everything out on the table, and go from there."

Cas shook his head. "Yelling is not on the agenda. I don't --"

"You're Dean Winchester!"

They both jumped slightly as a twenty-ish woman appeared next to the table, nearly vibrating with excitement. Dean reluctantly slid in P.R. mode (heaving a dramatic internal sigh at the interruption), wondering if he'd get the chance to figure out what Cas was going to say -- he didn't care? He didn't yell in public? Didn't -- what?

"I sure am!" She flushed scarlet he answered with a bright smile.

"Oh god. I'm so stupid. Of course you know that. It's just... I'm such a big fan. I've seen all your movies."

He chuckled. "I'm sorry about that. There are some real stinkers in that list."

"Oh no. They're always worth it to see you."

"Well, thank you." She was already opening her mouth to say something else, but he really wanted 1) to get back to Cas and 2) to get her away before she recognized Cas. "Hey, you got a phone with you? Want a selfie?"

Cas winced noticeably at her squeal of delight. The photo was quick and done and Dean squeezed her shoulder in farewell. "It was great meeting you."

She looked somewhat disappointed, but took the dismissal gracefully.

"That happen a lot?" Cas asked once the girl was back at her own table, fingers flying over her phone's screen.

Dean shrugged. "Define 'a lot.'" He winced inwardly and tried to tell from Cas's face if that had come off as humble or asshole. Unfortunately, Cas had had years to perfect his stoic expression.

"Is it worth it?"

"Wow, so just skipping right over the small talk, huh?"

Cas raised an eyebrow. "We were failing dismally at "small talk." So... fame -- is it worth it? Everything you thought it would be?"

"It has its good and bad, like anything, I guess. The past few weeks have actually turned out to be pretty awesome. Charlie keeps forwarding me messages from kids thanking me for coming out -- or not hiding from it, I guess really, since coming out wasn't exactly my idea."

A warm smile lit Cas's face. "That's great though. That this whole situation is having a positive impact."

It really was. Dean had expected much more negative fallout -- and of course there was plenty of that -- but for all the studio had worried, the paying public seemed to have very little problem with recent revelations. And the emails and posts from people -- both in the biz and not -- were enough to make Dean wish he had done this years before.

"But generally, I try to keep my life pretty quiet," Dean continued, wincing as Cas's barely restrained look of disbelief.

"Listen, man, what you saw -- that whole thing -- the, the drugs, the parties, the ..."

"Random sex with multiple people?" Cas filled in drily.

"Yeah. That's not part of the package for me anymore."

Cas took a slow breath; his eyes were filled with hurt when he spoke. "I didn't know it was ever supposed to be -- when you talked about going to California, that was never ... it was always about the acting."

Dean wished this were one of his movies so they could skip over the exposition part and just get to Cas either storming out or forgiving him. But no, this was how life had to happen.

"I barely even know where to start. It wasn't like that at first, not until after I signed with Alastair."

"Alastair Halling?" Cas interrupted.

A chill settled over Dean. "How do you know that name, Cas? He didn't .... You didn't ..." Alastair's threats echoed in Dean's head.

Cas spoke slowly, his brow furrowed in thought. "He was the one who made the final arrangements for my trip out there. He contacted me and said you need to see a friendly face from home."

Cas's words didn't make any sense at first. Alastair hadn't given a shit if anyone was happy or comfortable or anything that wasn't of direct use to him.

"Son of a bitch! He set us up."

He felt sick as the entirety of Alastair's plan settled over him, just another in the string of twisted mind games he had played back then.

Cas just looked confused when Dean made himself look at him. "I don't understand. What do you mean 'set us up'?"

Dean nodded to show Cas he'd heard him, trying to sort out his thoughts. He hadn't thought they'd be getting into this territory today. Alastair was a rough subject anytime, but to share it with Cas -- especially now that he knew Alastair's machinations had affected Cas even more directly that he had thought ...

Dean hadn't even realized he was shaking until Cas's hand covered his on the table. He leaned forward with an earnest look. "Dean, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

"No, Cas. No. You deserve to know this."

Cas studied him for a minute then sat back with a nod. Dean's hand felt cold and he wrapped it around the now lukewarm cup.

"So, up front -- what I'm going to tell you is not an excuse. No matter what was going on around me, I'm responsible for my own choices -- and I made a whole buncha bad ones those first years. This is just .... explanation, I guess."

"I understand," Cas replied with a soft, encouraging smile.

"When I first went out there -- California -- I was just a kid from Nowheresville, USA, a fact that was driven home pretty quickly. I thought I was ready, but -- this business is really rough. And I wasn't doing as well as I think I kind of let everyone back home believe." He rubbed a hand over his face. "It's silly, but I felt like I'd be letting everyone down if I didn't make it big.

"On top of that, it was so much more expensive than I had anticipated. I blew through my savings almost right away, even living in some little fleabag shithole and working two restaurant jobs. After a couple of months, I was just about ready to head home."

It had been crushingly disappointing to even consider that, but Dean wasn't about to ask his parents for more money and he wasn't going to get involved with any of the fast-money options that abounded in the area (and that all seemed to end with someone naked or bloody).

"I --" Cas started to speak, then quieted.

"What, Cas?"

"I wish I'd known, Dean. I feel like I could've been more supportive."

"Yeah, sometimes I wonder I wonder what would've happened if I'd told you, anyone ... I guess I was just too embarrassed. But you did help, man. I felt so much better every time we talked -- you believed in me so much, and to hear that after another shitty day of not being good enough ...

"Anyway, one of the guys I workshopped with told me about Alastair. He said the guy was like a miracle worker, almost guaranteed to get you a job -- if he liked you. He had a reputation for being really picky. I almost didn't even try; I mean, what was I going to have that he didn't already see dozens of times a week?"

Alastair had been his last attempt. He'd sent off a headshot, requesting a meeting. He had been so convinced that it was another dead end that he'd done zero research on the guy, didn't even ask what happened to Alastair's clients after the initial burst of success.

"I heard back from him almost immediately. We met, and he said he'd take me on -- teach me, 'mold' me." Dean still felt nauseous whenever he remembered the dark look in Alastair's eyes, the raspy sound of his voice. "Nobody else was interested in repping me, so I signed with him. Alastair was effective, yeah, and things just started happening. I got a couple of high profile guest spots, a movie role, every talk show wanted to have me on. It was like someone flipped a switch, and I went from struggling nobody to ultra-hot commodity overnight. None of it was really challenging acting, or even that interesting; I was pretty much just the new 'pretty face.'

"Knowing what I know now, I figure Alastair must've had dirt on at least a third of the casting agents -- not to mention the rest of Hollywood. They hired who he told them to. And those days, he wanted them to hire me."

He looked down to see that he'd bent the little plastic coffee stirrer into an accordion, and tossed it on the table.

"So I was running around non-stop day after day. It started wearing on me, and Alastair was there. He started slowly -- a pick-me-up here or there, something to help me sleep the night before an interview, something to pep me up for a shoot. Then there were a couple of strongly worded requests to show my face at this or that party."

He fell silent. Cas waited, his eyes tight, jaw tense. Dean sipped his coffee while he gathered his thoughts.

"He liked power. He had a whole little harem or entourage or whatever of wannabes that followed him around, did whatever he said, but he needed the guys like me -- success stories -- to keep them hopeful."

The coffee soured in his stomach at the memory of some of the things he'd seen. He'd spent years of therapy dealing with his own actions and how Alastair had impacted him, but the memories of those kids debasing themselves so willingly, so eagerly, while he sat and did nothing -- or worse, enjoyed the results -- still made him physically sick.

"A con man needs to be able to present some results," Cas murmured, "to keep his marks interested and pliable."

"Yeah, but even my success wasn't real. Or at least I hadn't earned it on merit. But none of us knew that then. I'm honestly not sure how many of them would have cared, either." He huffed a dispirited laugh.

"I knew something was wrong -- none of it felt like I'd always imagined, y'know? And the drugs and the sex and the parties, they were so easy to lose myself in, to push back that feeling of wrongness.

"I tried to fight it at first -- putting in appearances and heading out early. After the third time I did that, Alastair called and told me I'd been dropped from consideration for a lead in a series. They'd as much as told me I had the role in the room. But if I wasn't playing his game, I wasn't gonna get the prize. He didn't say it in so many words, but I'm sure he turned them down.

"So I just ... I played ball. And I took the pills he handed me and I threw the parties when he told me to ..."

Dean's throat ached. He looked at Cas, sitting with concern and compassion on his face. "I cheated on you, Cas. It was only ever just sex. I never, ever felt about anyone like I feel about you, but -- God that's even worse. To throw away what we had for something so empty, so superficial. And after that day, I never dreamed I'd get the change to apologize, so..."

He licked suddenly dry lips and and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry, Cas. You deserved so much better. I would never ask you to forgive me, but please know that I hated that you got hurt. That I was the one who hurt you."

He trailed off, unable to truly express the regret that he felt. Cas's face was nearly blank, his eyes trained on Dean's as he processed his words. Dean bit back the urge to keep explaining, to force Cas to understand. It wasn't enough, Dean knew that; some paltry words could never fix what he had broken, but they were the truth. And if it wasn't enough for Cas, Dean would just find a way to live with it.

Cas drew in a deep breath and leaned forward, taking one of Dean's hands in his own. He shook his head.

"Thank you for the apology. I admit that everything being brought up again after all this time threw me for a loop, but I forgave you a long time ago, Dean."

Dean stared at him, flummoxed. He had betrayed the one person who had meant more to him than anyone outside his family; there had never been anyone since who had been as close to Dean as Cas had been. How was that forgivable?

"We were kids, Dean." Cas smiled gently. "I know we felt so damn grown-up, but I see it every day in my classes. They're 18, 19, even in their twenties, and they think they know everything, that they have it all figured out. But they don't. Nowhere near. And neither did we."

His face hardened as he continued, in contrast to his thumb softly stroking along Dean's wrist. "Add to that what you endured with that Alastair person .... "

"I could've walked away, Cas. I --"

"And we're back to 'you were just a kid.' Yes, you made some bad decisions, things got out of hand," he swallowed, "and people got hurt. But you got out, Dean." Cas smiled widely at him. "Look at you -- even with all that, look at the successes you've had. How did that happen anyway?"

Dean sighed. "It was Sam, actually. He was the real catalyst," he said slowly. It was weird, but even after what he'd done to Cas, what Cas had seen in person, he felt reticent to share the rest of the story with him.

Cas just waited patiently.

"After what happened, what I did ... well, after that night, I kind of threw myself into that whole scene. I just wanted to forget, to not think about it, to prove to myself what an awesome time I was having, that I didn't need you."

It had been a hollow attempt at best, but at least with other people around, he looked like he was having fun.

"It was, I don't know, maybe a year, year and a half later, that Sammy came out for a visit. Nobody had come out before that, except you. I was actually kind of surprised you hadn't told anyone about everything."

"I ... it didn't feel right. Your folks didn't even know I was going then. So, I just told everyone we'd broken up and left it at that. Then I chose a school out of town and ran."

A stab of regret at what could've been left Dean aching to soothe Cas, but he had forfeited that right a long time ago.

"Anyway, Sam came out and well, to put it bluntly, it was a disaster. It all came to a head when I took him to set with me. I was actually stone-cold sober -- he'd been so disapproving of the partying the first couple of days -- I couldn't even get through the scene. Two-eighths of a page and I was ..."

He scoffed, remembering how he'd stumbled over the simple lines, kept missing his mark. Everything had felt so wrong.

"We took five and I found a corner, popped some pills to get my mind straight, and looked up to see Sammy just staring at me. That look in his eyes -- almost the same as yours, and I just..." He blew out a harsh breath. No matter how far he'd come since then, it still crushed him to think how he'd let his little brother down.

"I got through the scene, took Sam out to some shitty diner, and the whole thing just spilled out. I promised him I would stop. I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe me, but that was the beginning."

"The beginning?"

"With Alastair -- getting out from under his thumb, I had to move carefully. It wasn't even what he could do to me or my career; he'd threatened to hurt you, or Sammy. By that point, he wasn't even pretending to be doing anything for me. I started looking for another agent, real quietly; started trying to see if I could get enough dirt on him to, I dunno, blackmail him, or have him arrested.

"I met this guy, another agent, named Crowley. Almost as devious as Alastair, but more upfront about it. He was none too happy about Alastair's schemes and already had enough on him to put him away for a long time. He just needed someone to stand up."

"You?" Cas looked equal parts concerned and impressed.

"Yeah," Dean acknowledged. "I figured it was the least I could do. Screw my career, whatever. I'd go back to Lawrence and work as a mechanic if I had to, but this guy needed taking down and no one else was gonna do it."

"That's amazing, Dean. But I never heard about any of this." He flushed as he continued. "And I kind of followed your career kinda closely."

"Yeah, well, you didn't hear about it 'cause the guy had dirt on everyone and no one wanted him talking in open court. He was arrested, indicted, released on bail... and murdered."

Cas opened his mouth, closed it, almost literally biting back the question.

"It wasn't me, Cas. I don't know who it was; the list of people who wanted him dead is a mile long, at least. But that was that.

"With Crowley's help, I got in a very private rehab, got my career back in a direction that I wanted to go. Haven't touched any non-medically prescribed drugs since.

"I thought about reaching out to you to apologize, but I thought it would just be more painful for you. Or maybe I was just too scared."

Cas squeezed his hand.

"So, that's the whole sordid story."

"Thank you for telling me."

Dean shook his head to clear away the baggage and looked around, trying to escape the raw emotion in Cas's eyes. His fan was still sitting at her table, still tapping vigorously at her phone. A friend had joined her -- a friend whose phone was angled suspiciously in their direction.

He kept his gaze moving, finished looking around the small shop and then back to Cas.

"So, not a big deal, but I think that girl is filming us. Don't look!" he added a Cas inevitably started to turn his head.

"Okay, and ... ?" He followed Dean's lead and started tidying up.

"Well, best case, she and her friend just want some candid footage of me for their personal use. Less great would be if they're planning to share it out publicly."

"Is there a worst case here?"

"If they recognized you and are attaching your name to a livestream video."

"Why would they --?"

Dean almost laughed at the confusion on Cas's face. He stood up as he said, "You're news now, Cas. Just another way for me to screw your life up, I guess. We'd better get going any which way."

Cas stood as well and halted Dean with a hand to his shoulder. Dean turned, stepping to the side to make sure he was between the camera and Cas.

"Dean, the past few weeks have been interesting, and sometimes inconvenient, but it hasn't 'screwed up' anything for me."

"If it gets out that we've seen each other again, it's a whole new ballgame, Cas. Let's go."

He let Cas lead the way to the door, trying to keep him as hidden as possible, and wishing he was a big enough man not to be mentally drooling over Cas's ass.

The bell rang as Cas opened the door and stepped through. Dean was close enough on his heels that he nearly slammed his nose into Cas's skull when he stopped abruptly. Dean looked around as Cas murmured, "I guess it was a live feed after all."

"Well, well, if it isn't Dr. Castiel Novak. And who's he with? Oh, it's the famous Dean Winchester."

From the small crowd of fans and photographers stepped the last person Dean wanted to see at that moment.

"Bela."

(now concluded in Part 6)

Author’s Note: So there was a version where this was the last part -- they met, talked, came to some kind of agreement, and end happily ever after. Then the fan had a friend who had a phone, and Bela just couldn’t stay away, and now I’m not entirely sure where it goes next, so.... fingers crossed that inspiration strikes! Also, I need to work on the next part of my AO3 WIP -- that’s been sitting for months :(

#spn #fanfic #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #discussions of infidelity #alastair #sam winchester #alastair's mind games #bela talbot #ani's fanfic #s:fdff

19 notes · View notes

surflove808 · 6 years

Text

Fan Wars: A New Hope. Damnit.

I sure do hope you like reading lots of words!!

Here's the remix (Edited. Longer. Angrier. Yay!): I’m about to get all fire and brimstone up in here. I apologize in advance.

Regarding my blog post re: The Joke Debacle, most everyone has been so thoughtful, mature, kind and open minded about the discussion matter, even if they didn’t necessarily agree with me. So that right there, shows me that it’s possible for all of us to be more understanding with each other regardless of our ships or faves or whatever. And I’m an open-minded, open book, so even if you don’t agree with me, this is a safe place to vent concerns or frustrations with what I say. We can all respectfully disagree, meet in the middle or go just back to our own corners. Whatever.

I'd like to encourage those of you who are taking your frustrations out on anyone who agrees with points made in my article (on Twitter or wherever) to come speak directly to me if you have an issue. I wrote it, after all. My blog is helpfully linked right there in the article. I don't bite. And for those of you who aren't overly familiar with what's going on, please check out the many, many comments attached to my actual blog post, and you will be able to see that there are far more people that are fed up with these bad apples, than there are bad apples. I hope. And if there are apples that don’t feel like they’re being given a fair shake, I’d like to hear from those apples too.

When I posted my angry rant last week, I didn’t expect it to gain so much traction. But it did…and it showed me I wasn’t alone, and that there are a lot of fed up fans out there, and justifiably so, who are looking for an end to this ridiculous inner-fandom civil war. I'm relatively new to Tumblr. I wasn't expecting to become the unofficial mouthpiece for this issue.

I was approached by movietvtechgeeks.com asking if they could use my blog post in an article about the cyberbullying that’s happening in this fandom, so I said “Sure!” I’m honored that someone would want to print my rambling. But of course, it’s also opened up the floor on Twitter, yet again, for certain people to deliberately misconstrue the content and twist it to suit their own agenda in the comment sections. What they fail to realize is…they’re only proving why we needed this article in the first place. So, joke’s on them!! However…. now I feel obligated to come on here and clarify my intent and that’s friggin irritating.

Here is the article if you want to take a looksee: https://twitter.com/movietvtechgeek/status/927578926397952000

I NEED TO MAKE A FEW THINGS CRYSTAL CLEAR (apparently):

1. I don’t have a ship. I don’t dislike shippers. (Ship away! I just dislike pushy people with no sense of boundaries) So please do not misconstrue anything I say as promoting or denigrating *a* ship. You do you. Let me do me. Well, that sounded vaguely dirty… you know what I mean. I’m just gonna ship me with myself now. Nobody can love me quite like me.

2. I don’t stan an actor, and I don’t think that because someone likes “another” actor (whomever that might be) more, that it’s a direct affront to me or them. I tag all these "relevant to the post” actors because I think they’re all relevant to the success of this show, and sadly….also to this juvenile ridiculousness that seems to be brewing between fan factions.

But, if I’m being honest? Full disclosure: I do have a favorite! Jensen. Heyyyoooo! I think he’s an incredibly talented actor IN MY OPINION, and I like his extraordinarily expressive face. See? Simple as that. Is that a problem? And do you feel better now that it’s out in the open?

We can all have opinions, and favorites without “throwing feces like howler monkeys” to quote a certain dickhead angel. And as far as personalities and talent go? They’re all amazing, and they all belong, IN MY OPINION. The main cast, the supporting cast, new castmates, former castmates…. they all just…gel. You know? It’s some kind of voodoo magic. And they’re by all accounts, really decent people doing good things out there in the world. Without any one of them, it wouldn’t be the show we all know and love. And if you don’t love the SHOW, well….I guess fucking go watch something else? Right??

Listen....Unless you’re tied to a chair Clockwork Orange-style, and being force fed this show by some evil, covert government agency… you DO have other choices.

3. I sucked it up and joined Twitter because there seems to be an attack dog, hive-mind situation happening that seems hell bent on cowing people into submission. That shit doesn’t fly with me. And if I’m on there and see bullying, damaging misinformation or harassment… I’m going to get in the fray. But I’m going to TRY to do it with honesty, integrity and a sense of humor. I want to sit at the adults table on Turkey Day. Not at the kids table with Weird Uncle Augustus. Know what I mean? Don’t be that guy.

AND ONCE MORE FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK: To be clear - I’m not speaking to ONE specific group of people. However, if you look into the mirror I’m holding up and see your own reflection? I’m probably talking to you.

4. I’m not going to choose a “side”. I choose the show, it’s actors, crew, writers, etc, collectively. Because they all work their asses off, both on and off the set to give us fans so much more than just entertainment.

5. If someone wanted to hold a mirror up to this fandom right now, via a juicy documentary on the ship wars, fighting factions, undermining, conspiracy theories, revenge tactics, harassment campaigns, etc…. I think its safe to say, we’re all gonna be pretty fucking embarrassed. Let’s hope that never happens. I’m cringing just thinking about it. But we deserve it, if we keep on with this petty bullshit, ya know? 6. My blog post was not about for J2 "stans” or about Misha “stans”, for gods sake people. This post was about how splinter groups (for lack of a better term) were being damaging and disruptive (As they do.) and how it’s bad for EVERYONE when we let warring factions steamroll over everyone else, AND each other. This post was a direct response to the organized and brutally efficient Twitter campaign that somehow found its way into the laps of a handful of online news sites in an effort to publicize an off-color joke in order to take advantage of the current climate in the entertainment industry and start a viral witch hunt. *I just ran out of breath. Time for a James Brown pause*

7. My post was also aimed at the Twitter spamming campaigns that Shatner and Pellegrino, as well as J2 had to put up with in the past few weeks. And don't feed us that horsehit about them bullying the poor fans that spoke their minds. NO. You collectively went on, and started shit, kept coming at them, and they defended themselves. And rather maturely, considering. It’s about groups of people that have gotten so wrapped up and out of control, that they’re poisoning this fan family. I genuinely feel concerned that some folks are confusing reality with fiction, here.

8. If you look back farther on my Tumblr page (?) to the good ol days of last Thursday (?) - particularly the Silent Majority post - that post is not in reference to any fan or any actor, specifically. It’s in reference to the majority of fans who want to do the right thing, WANT to help out, WANT to just enjoy the damn show without all this drama and hate. But because they’re quiet, and they’re not able to speak their minds without fear of retribution…. they’re vastly under-represented. And so, the assholes of the fandom run amok unchallenged. THAT’S the majority I’m speaking of. 9. I abhor anyone that lurks around on social media looking for people to mess with. So, imagine my surprise and disappointment that now I’M that person, because of this fucking shit!! I’m only getting after people who are picking on others, but still… lurking, arguing. Utter waste of valuable time. Yours and mine.

Saturday night I apparently pissed off the leader of one of the SPN gangs (what do you call them??) when I called her out on her behavior and was ominously told: “Wanna see what happens when I tell my followers what to think and do”. To which I responded “I already have. And it’s deplorable” And then offered to provide her with my name, # and home address. She didn’t want it. I don’t know why. I thought it was funny! I NEVER get hate mail... and I was looking forward to some postcards. I’m old school that way. Don’t hate tweet me. Send me a hate postcard featuring something cool from your state.

Jokes aside....that’s the kind of crap that mobilized me in the first place.

I tried to have a reasonable conversation with this individual and even asked if she wanted to take it offline and talk. I followed her lead, conversationally, did snark back when required...but just when I thought we were going to have a reasonable discussion, she pulled the rug out. I tried. If you’re reading this and you feel misrepresented, or misunderstood, or you’re trying to misrepresent our conversation - the door is still open if you want to talk. But I’m not going to tolerate your bullshit, and neither should anyone else.

Who ARE these people? And why is this happening? That’s my question.

10. I'm not here to listen to arguments that a 6-year old might find compelling in a court of law, such as: Well, Jensen told that joke a year ago, or Misha said thisthatandtheotherthing back in the day...so why are you only talking about Jareds joke?

Well...because this is not a tit-for-tat thing. I'm talking about the issue that is relevant RIGHT NOW. And this is far from a "blame it on Jared" thing. I feel awful for the guy. For both of them for even being looped into this insanity. The intent of my blog post was to address very current events that have been demonstrative of the current, toxic climate brewing in the SPN fandom. I’m NOT here to write the Unabridged History of SPN Actors and Their Fondness for Off-Color Jokes.

11. If you're all wound up and offended by what I wrote? It's probably because I wrote this blog post not for you, but about you. OR, you've not been provided with context, content or clarity, and you got swept up in this manufactured hysteria and reacted. OR, you think I’m a total asshole, and that’s ok. I get it! And I understand how my post could make some of you defensive and prickly. But hey, as the saying goes... don't start none, won't BE none. On the flip side, as someone eloquently stated (ahem, CarolHansson) "It's ok to be offended....it's also ok to not be offended"

12. I am not a rape apologist. And neither are the actors. And to even insinuate that any of us, by extension of supporting Jared or Jensen in this situation, are pro "rape culture", is appropriating a term and using it so irresponsibly that you're negating the real suffering of sexual abuse survivors. The more you trivialize it, the more you take away its power. Stop using manufactured concern for survivors as your jumping-off point for harassment, and START asking yourself what's really motivating you to use that argument as an excuse for your behavior. BTW, #Metoo, and you sure as hell don't represent ME.

If you want to see a record of this casts achievements for mental health awareness, LGBTQ rights, anti-bullying and womens issues, to name a few - it's a simple Google search away. That's on your time. Not mine. Again....not here to write their autobiography. This piece is an opinion piece. I try to be balanced, but that’s as far as it goes. I'm not CNN.

13. MISHA: Misha was not mentioned in my post because Misha was not under fire last week or the week before over this stupid bullshit. If I SEE that happening, I’ll write about THAT. But HE was not the focus of this mess. So I left HIM out of it. Does that make sense? And also? I'm not here to equally represent all actors at all times. That's not how this works in the context of the subject matter at hand. If you want to see more adequate representation for your favorite actor - write your own op ed. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

And Misha as well as J2, are probably more than a little appalled that some of their biggest fans (?) are committing to some shady behavior in their honor and in their names. Just a guess. They’re good guys and this is probably not sanctioned behavior. If you think it is? Show me the receipts. Let’s do this honestly, using facts. Not conjecture.

14. No, I do not excuse anyone's behavior because of their physical attractiveness. Neither do most people. I am not a child (Thank you, Uma Thurman), and I don't rationalize like a child.

15. No, I am not doing this to seek approval from the actors, and neither is anyone else with the #istandwithJ2 hashtag. As previously stated, this is an equal and opposite reaction to the bullshit that brought us all here today. You’re grasping at straws at this point, if that’s the argument you’re going with. Speaking on my own behalf, I have nothing to gain here, except some new Tumblr friends with a side of troll.

16. To reiterate on previous posts - I’m hoping that all of us will collectively start sticking up for each other when we see someone harassing a fellow fan online. Even if you don’t want to comment….maybe give the person being flamed those little heart thingys (likes?). Direct message them if liking their post doesn’t feel safe. Show them your support in some way, so that they don’t feel alone and so that they don’t feel quite so vulnerable to attacks from online bullies. We Have Got To Start Backing Up People who are just trying to express their opinions respectfully and are being slammed with responses that are belligerent, demeaning, threatening, obnoxious, etc. Otherwise - these jerks will just keep steamrolling right over the more gentle viewers out there. And a lot of them, are just kids. And this goes both ways. It has to, in order to be effective.

If you see something - say something. That’s my 2 cents anyway.

The world’s going to Hell in a handbasket, 26 innocent people were gunned down yesterday in a place they held sacred and felt safe in, and it just keeps happening.

Mother Nature has decided she’s sick of our shit and has been upending thousands of lives. There are actual sexual predators in some of our pasts and sadly, in some of our futures. And this “joke” has no relevancy or bearing on that sad fact.

Women, people of color, LGBTQ people, economically fragile people, physically fragile people, etc...are seeing their protections, rights and livelihoods eroded away in an alarmingly short period of time, and the list goes on and on… and THIS is what we’re dedicating our mental and emotional resources to?

This show is supposed to be an escape from reality, guys. Not actual reality.

Why are we harassing the actors and fellow fans of a television show that brought us all together in the first place? This is entertainment, people. I know how important this show is to all of us. And I know how impactful the message of this show has been. And I know that without this show, some of us might not be here today. We are some passionate sumbitches. I GET THAT.

The question still remains.... what in the actual fuck are we really fighting for and about, here? If someone can quantify and explain that to me in a way that makes sense, I’m all ears.

Has it really come to: “Maybe we need to devise a more sophisticated tagging situation so that people don’t keep dipping their chocolate in other peoples peanut butter.” I don’t know. But this is Nth level ridiculousness, and we need to figure it out before it gets even worse.

For now, I’m going to get back to enjoying this show for what it is, and putting my beautiful brain back to work on more important matters. I’ve spent a week in this muck, and it’s been... enlightening. I’ll say that.

And even though I don’t agree with some of you - I can see by the CSI-level attention to detail that a lot of us have applied to all things SPN... that we could actually be mobilized into an almost unstoppable force for real good and real change. If we wanted that.

We could probably figure out who ordered JFK’s assassination. Figure out where Jimmy Hoffa’s buried. Solve the mysteries of the pyramids.... help reunite missing kids with their families...Get Trump impeached... ahem. You get it.

Or we could just keep wasting our pent-up aggression on other fans, and the actors of our favorite show. Because that’s easy. Choices.

But wait! There’s more! Because I keep getting valid messages and concerns, this ridiculously long piece just got longer.

Posting these blogs has opened the door to a lot of private communication from both sides of the fence in the fandom, and I'm going to include some of my recent responses to an SPN fan who felt that her group of fans were not getting a fair shake and felt my blog targeted them. We had a long discussion and she was very cool and had a lot of valid concerns and examples of other bad fan behavior dating wayyyy back, so I wanted to add this in.

I'm just going to paraphrase my own replies and print them here, so that people who may feel misrepresented or angry can see that, there are other ways to discuss these issues and for everyone to see that there's a better way than Twitter Wars.

(Paraphrased conversation subject matter in italics)

What's amazing is that J2 fans AND Misha fans have private messaged me with the exact same concerns. And you have one very important thing in common: You ALL feel victimized. And you have been. Know why? It's because you've been victimizing each other.

(Slaps own face. HARD.) Not because of her. But because of this whole enchilada.

If both groups are concerned about the same issues and both want the harassment to stop, whyyyy are you still at each others throats?

Well, I think it's because good people are capable of behaving very badly, especially online. And all they’re doing is making themselves look ridiculous. And they do not merit support.

A lot of people have been using me as a mediator, or prism, so to speak, with regards to this issue. But you don't need me, when you all essentially want the same damn thing.

It's time to stop participating. All you have to do is take a step back and say to yourself (or others if you’re feeling up to it) I'm not going to support harassment, hate or damaging misinformation. And you can do that by unfollowing abusive accounts, by not "liking" or reblogging abusive content...and/or by not contributing to it yourself. And if enough of us did that, BOOM, on our way to a solved problem.

These are only a few suggestions. There's no cure or quick fix for this.

Only alternatives to current behaviors.

And I know there's a lot of bad blood between these groups as evidenced by the mountains of grievances I've been getting. Can’t un-say or undo any of it. But we can stop doing it going forward, can’t we?

As long as people want to keep concentrating on past transgressions and dwelling on past arguments, no one can move on.

And continuing to keep score with hopes to "win" something on here isn’t working either. I’ve got bad news: There's no "winning" here. No grand prize. Just more of the same bullshit. And if you’re happy to sit in this pile of crap and continue to marinate? That’s your prerogative. By “your” I mean WHOMEVER fits the bill.

It's not my responsibility to make you play nice with each other. Or mediate your arguments. Though, it sounds like mediation is exactly what ya'll might need. I'm just here, publicly stating how this all looks to me: Like a never-ending playground slapfight.

I think that there will always be "haters". That's the nature of fandom, and life in general. But if we stop promoting that kind of behavior with our support, and if these individuals have to lurk in the back channels, as opposed to being allowed to thrive and build fiefdoms all over social media. That sounds like a good compromise to me.

And if you have a lot to express on this matter from your own perspective, there are better alternatives to spamming people on Twitter. For example...

Write a blog! If you’d like to provide an objective viewpoint, and also defend your stance but you’re afraid people will see that you support actor A, B, or C and automatically discount what you have to say? Start a side blog. Compile a list of wrongs that you’ve seen committed by both sides and be the mirror, and show people what they’ve become.

Create your own, blank slate and start fresh.

There, now I can drop the mic.

#Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #Misha Collins #spnfandom #spn family #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel #mark pellegrino #lucifer

40 notes · View notes

tiredfangs · 7 years

Text

The Age/Site Morality Rant: Why you should leave this hellsite while you still fucking can. (EPSECIALLY IF YOURE 14 AND UNDER OR AN EMOTIONALLY SENSITIVE, A NATURALLY IMMATURE, OR A VERY GULLIBLE/EASILY MANIPULATED PERSON. GO SEEK VALIDATION ELSEWHERE, PLEASE. THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT WEBSITE TO DO IT)

while making a post on how to deal with mental illnesses (which will be up soon) i got off topic and ranted abt tumblr so im gonna post it separately here

This [edit: ‘this’ referring to the mental illness post- not posted yet] is probably one of my final pieces of advice as a teenager to other teenagers and younger kids, who- quite frankly- need to get off this website if theyre not a teenager yet. 13+ to join tumblr dude, sorry.

HELL if it were up to me, id make this site 15-16+ AT THE YOUNGEST. Thats about the age where your mind stops being a blank whiteboard, free for anyone to write whatever they want on it, and where people typically become less gullibe and childhood naivete starts going away, its about the age where people start to think for themselves a lot more, formulating opinions and morals based on past experiences and the opinions of whatever friend circle theyre in, and, (if they arent horribly abusive) the ideals and wishes of their parents and how they raised their child.

IT REALLY SHOULD BE 18+ FOR THE SOLE FACT THAT THERES EASILY ACCESSIBLE PORNOGRAPHY ON THIS WEBSITE!!!!!! IM KIND OF A HYPOCRITE DUE TO ME BEING INTERESTED IN PORN AND SEX AT AROUND 11 YEARS OLD BUT STILL!!! Im not even going to mention tumblr’s broken ass safe search/ whatever the thing they made is where it auto-flags completely harmless posts as nsfw. IT SHOULDNT BE SO EASILY ACCESSIBLE, ESPECIALLY AS A MAJOR SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM WITH LOTS OF YOUNG KIDS!!! ESPECIALLY AS A MAJOR SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM WITH A LOT OF OLDER ADULTS LOOKING FOR YOUNG KIDS TO PREY ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY KNOW THAT TEENAGERS AND TWEENS FLOCK TO THIS WEBSITE AND THEY USE THAT TO THEIR ADVANTAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[THE FOLLOWING IS A FICTIONAL SCENARIO, PRESENTED TO GIVE YOU ALL AN EXAMPLE OF A MINOR HAVING EASY ACCESS TO NSFW CONTENT AND INVOLVING THEMSELVES IN THAT COMMUNITY- AS WELL AS AN IDEA OF HOW SERIOUS THIS ISSUE ACTUALLY IS AND HOW SEVERE THE REPERCUSSIONS CAN BE IF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THESE KINDS OF THINGS ARE FOUND OUT- IN A COURT OF LAW, IT DOESNT MATTER IF THE ADULT IN THE SITUATION HAD NO CLUE THE MINOR WAS A MINOR, AND IT DOESNT MATTER THAT THEY WHOLEHEARTEDLY BELIEVED THE MINOR WAS AN ADULT- ALBEIT A SOMEWHAT BELIEVABLE ONE. I WOULDNT BE TERRIBLY SURPRISED IF THIS HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST]

IF A MINOR POSES AS AN ADULT AND COMMISSIONS AN ADULT ARTIST FOR NSFW ART OF THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTER OR WHATEVER, THE ARTIST COULD GET IN SUPER FUCKING SERIOUS TROUBLE!!!! LEGAL TROUBLE!! IF THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED, THE ADULT ARTIST IN THIS SITUATION WOULD PROBABLY MOSTLY BE THE ONE AT FAULT, IF NOT THE MOST AT FAULT, THEN THE MOST HARSHLY PUNISHED OF THE TWO, AND WOULD HAVE TO FACE A COURT TRAIL AS WELL AS POTENTIALLY FACING JAILTIME OR HOUSE ARREST!!!!! THEYD PROBABLY BE LABELED AS A PEDOPHILE OR SOMETHING AKIN TO IT- THEYD PROBABLY HAVE TO PAY A LARGE FINE THAT THEY MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD, DUE TO THIS GENERATION OF AMATEUR/ RISING ARTISTS BEING UNDERPAID AND STRUGGLING IN LIFE TO MAKE THEIR PASSION THEIR JOB!!!! THEY TRUSTED THEIR FOLLOWERS AND COMMISSIONERS AND WAS PROBABLY TOTALLY UNAWARE THAT THE COMMISSIONER WAS A MINOR, WHETHER IT BE BECAUSE THE ARTIST DIDNT DO A THOROUGH ENOUGH BACKGROUND CHECK, THE MINOR ‘SEEMED’ LIKE THEY WERE OVER 18 DUE TO SPEECH PATTERNS OR LEVEL OF MATURITY, OR IF THE MINOR WAS VERY KEEN ABOUT CONCEALING THEIR TRUE IDENTITY AND AGE, CONSTRUCTING A FAKE BUT BELIEVABLE PROFILE!!! THE ARTIST WOULDVE PROBABLY THOUGHT THAT THE MINOR WAS AN ADULT DUE TO THE MINOR HAVING A PAYPAL OR SOMETHING OF THE SORTS!!! WHICH YOU HAVE TO BE 18 FOR!!! THE ARTIST IN THIS SITUATION WOULD PROBABLY BE SUPER CAUTIOUS ABOUT SELLING NSFW ART AFTER EVERYTHING GETS DEALT WITH LEGALLY, MAYBE CEASING NSFW COMMISSIONS ENTIRELY. IT COULD BE AS BAD AS THE ARTSIT QUITS DOING ART ENTIRELY- PROBABLY AN IMPORTANT PASSION IN THEIR LIFE, OR AT LEAST A WAY TO PAY THE BILLS/ PAY FOR SIMPLE DEMANDS AND SMALL LUXURIES IN LIFE DUE TO COMMISSIONS BEING UNDER-PRICED IN THE AMATEUR ART WORLD- BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION!!! THE ARTIST WOULD PROBABLY BE EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED DUE TO THE INCIDENT!!! IM NOT SAYING THAT THE MINOR WOULDNT BE EITHER, BUT THE LAW IS MUCH, MUCH HARSHER ON PEOPLE 18 AND OVER.

i dont care if you think youre mature enough, i dont even care if you ARE pretty mature for your age!! thats not the problem!! Its not because i dont think people under 13 arent mature, and its not because im a teenager that hates kids under 15 due to some kind of age-based superiority complex, and i dont think im a ‘cool kid’ because i advise younger folk to stay off most social media, and ESPECIALLY needless and overly-dramatic drama (which really just makes everyone involved feel worse than when they started out)- but because this website is FULL of toxic, horrible ideals and morals that horribly, HORRIBLY misrepresent what the real, outside world is like. young minds will take this as the absolute truth, just because theyre presented as the absolute and only truth, and these twisted views and ways of life will eventually and ultimately screw you the FUCK over if you carry them into the real world and try to presen them as truth and fact to someone who knows a lot more than you, is probably older than you, and bases their world views and base morals off of personal experiences and carefully constructed values that have shaped them as a person- NOT because they saw it on the internet and want it to be true/ is manuipulated into believing its true by this fucked up site. NOBODY IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD THINKS LIKE TUMBLR DOES- AND THE PEOPLE IN THE OUTISDE WORLD THAT DO THINK LIKE TUMBLR DOES, PROBABLY HAVE A TUMBLR!!!! PEOPLE ARENT GOING TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS AROUND YOU OR EVEN CARE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL OR THINK IN THE FIRST PLACE? YOURE NOT SPECIAL TO THEM AND YOURE NOT GOING TO GET SPECIAL TREATMENT BECAUSE YOURE GAY OR WHATEVER, THEYRE GOING TO TREAT YOU AS A HUMAN BEING WITH COMMON SENSE AND BASIC DECENCY!!!! IF YOU GET YOUR PANTIES IN A TWIST OVER SOMEONE NOT TREATING YOU LIKE THE SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE, OR UNINTENTIONALLY ‘TRIGGERING’ YOU, ITS FUCKNNG???? ITS FINE??? NOBODY CARES EXCEPT YOU AND YOU NEED TO LEARN TO UNCLENCH YOUR ASSCHEEKS AND LET GO OF THINGS.

Tumblr is a disgusting bastardizaton on how the world is, and how people should act. Stop looking at the world from your narrow tube of ignorance and refusal to listen to anybodys opinions other than your own and people like-minded to you. Yall have tried so hard to be loving and accepting to everyone, that youve BECOME the oppressors, only accepting a narrow range of people into your sick cult, pampering and conditioning them to how you want them to be and then dropping them off on a street corner when they start forming problems and morality issues because of your teachings. It took me YEARS to unlearn the toxic shit that tumblr shoved down my throat, and i took as fact, due to me being so young, vunerable, and gullible.

The people on this website are absolutely horrible and theres a reason tumblr is considered one of the worst social media websites on the internet. The only reason im on here is because it provides a wide variety of art in all different mediums, and i like laughing at funny text posts.

TLDR: if youre a young teenager or under 13, please leave this website before its too late. sincerely, a teenager that turns into an adult 4 days from now and kind of knows what theyre talking about from the 5 years they spent on this site.

#discourse

1 note · View note

sweetbroloveit · 7 years

Text

The 100 Season 4 Finale

Holy shit y’all! I watched it this morning and I wasn’t quite able to process it all so I watched again it tonight. It was really intense and I pretty much scream-sobbed the whole way through. And then I cried even more on the second viewing.

Thoughts and feels under the cut. (LOL, this is 3 pages y’all, so grab a bottle of wine first)

The Blake Siblings moment was BEAUTIFUL! I love them so much. I loved the mythology callback and how he teased her for ruining his Prometheus metaphor! I’m thrilled she finally said ‘I love you’ and even though his reply was cut off, at least he said it in 4x11 so she knows. And them both saying ‘May we Meet Again’ to the dead radio also killed me in the best way.

With regards to Wonkru in the bunker, I’m kind of bummed we didn’t get to see more of the fallout from Kane and Jaha’s choice last week, but there really just wasn’t time. I saw a review suggest this should have been a 2 hour finale and I actually think that would have been awesome, maybe then they could have spent the first half focused on the bunker, and the second half with the time crunch space race? But anyway. Just to touch on the Octavia as commander story: I’m really glad Indra specified that this wasn’t the same as being Heda/The Commander as we’ve known it. Octavia isn’t taking the Flame, she’s not trying take on a spiritual role or be blessed by the Faith, she is their champion and their leader in her own way. The forehead charm kind of bugged me in season 3 for edging on cultural appropriation, but I think giving it its own symbolic importance has helped. So it’s not just decoration or someone playing dress up, it’s a symbol of the leader – much like Skairkru’s chancellor’s pin.

Now on to the best part – the remaining Delinquents and friends:

I really wish those scripts hadn’t been leaked so early in the season. Even though I never read them, they obviously influenced people’s speculations and fandom discussion so you couldn’t help but know Clarke would be left behind. And the promos showed her on a post-praimfaya Earth, so that was dumb. It took some of the fun out of it, but the mining colony prisoner transport landing instead of the Space Delinquents was a cool twist at least.

I was really looking forward to a season of the Delinquents in space and the adults in the bunker on earth, that would have been a great callback to season 1 but… that’s exactly why they wouldn’t do that storyline, because they have done it before. So I can understand their choices based on the story they seem to want to tell next season: going back to 3 factions returning to earth – Space People (Mining Colony Prisoners), Grounders (Clarke and Madi) and Mountain Men (Wonkru underground). I really hope the Space Delinquents get back to Earth soon and that everyone in the bunker is okay. I’ll be excited to see the leadership triumvirate of Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia take on the Mining Prisoners (assuming they will be the new antagonists).

The scene where the space gang was suffocating, while trying to connect the oxygen up, was incredible. I felt like I also couldn’t breathe. And I absolutely loved how they all cared for each other, sharing their oxygen and pulling everyone closer to the vents. They felt like a real team, Emori and Echo included (bless you Echo for pulling off Bellamy’s helmet when his oxygen finally gave out!)

I loved Monty and Murphy’s scenes on the ground – Murphy has grown so much. Monty hugging him and saying maybe he doesn’t hate him anymore was amazing!

I also really loved Bellamy’s scenes with Raven and Echo. At first I thought Echo was up to some sabotaging shadiness when she put on her white face paint. Her ritual was so similar to the Azgeda assassin’s when they blew up Mount Weather, I really thought she was going to fuck everything up. Her suicide plan took me by surprise since the whole reason she saved the Delinquents last week was to secure a place in the lighthouse bunker and survive. But I guess the idea of living in space was rather daunting and just reminded her of how isolated she was from her own people. The look on her face when she saw the rocket was quite telling. I liked how Bellamy talked her down, he was super honest about how he may never trust her but he was still compassionate. It reminded me of how he talked Raven out of running away in season 1, by pointing out how the group needs her.

Bellamy and Raven had some great scenes as well. I loved their final scene when he asked if she was with him and she said “always”. That was really special. I personally have never seen any romantic chemistry between them, their sex scene in season 1 still makes me cover my eyes, but I like their friendship. And I’m pretty sure they’re going to hook Bellamy up with either Raven or Echo during the time jump (since he thinks Clarke is dead *sob!*) and I would rather it be Raven than Echo tbh.

BELLARRRRRRRKKKKKKE!!!! MY BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I’m so sad they’ve been separated for 6 fucking years! But again, we knew it was coming. I thought at first, I would rather them be separated than have them hook up during the 5 year time jump and us miss all the development. But really they have had 4 seasons worth of build up so as a shipper I would have been happy if season 5 started with them being all cute and domestic up in space, like ‘Boom! We’re canon now!’ But I digress…

The overly-optimistic part of me thought maybe he would give up his spot on the rocket and stay with her, but that really wouldn’t make sense since he’s not a nightblood, and they needed to show him making the rational choice rather than the emotional choice to further his character development. I think Bellamy’s growth as a leader is going to be a big feature of next season, but in order to push that they sadly needed to separate him from Clarke, his partner, for a significant period. My hopeful shipper side also kicked in when she started their heart-heart (or rather heart-to-head) and I thought for a second she might make a love confession. But alas… we have yet another season to wait for canon romantic-Bellarke. But we really did get some amazing scenes with them this episode.

THAT HUG! OMG! The way he rushed to her and pulled her into his arms, and the way she squeezed him so tight she linked her hands behind his back, and when he put his hand in her hair at the back of her neck… I AM CRYING AGAIN. They love each other so fucking much!

SO many touches this episode! I screamed for their entire scene up on the balcony. The way he gently caressed her face and later she put her hand on his chest/heart and touched his temple… I CAN’T! They are not platonic. Those were not friend touches. They are in love.

*Ahem*

Fangirling aside, their conversation was beautiful. I loved the role reversal from 4x06: This time Clarke was the one who wanted to have the feelings talk and Bellamy was the one trying to shut down any notion that this was goodbye; he was convinced they were both going to make it. But she really thought there was a chance Abby’s premonition was true so she was trying to prepare him for leading without her. Just like 4x06, she told him how special he was. And she was 100% right, she has always seen who he really is and admired his heart. When she told him he needed to use his head sometimes too, the way he said “That’s what I have you for” absolutely fucking broke me.

As for Bellamy leaving Clarke behind, it had to be done. He was right, it’s what Clarke wanted. After their conversation, Bellamy took on the responsibility for their people – sacrificing Clarke is part of that (season 1 finale parallels anyone?). He has to make sure their people survive and that means not only getting them safely off the dying planet, but also being there for them and leading them for the next five years in space. The way he kept glancing at the doors, hoping she’d make it just in time, his quiet “May we meet again”, and then “I left her behind” when he thinks he sacrificed the person that he loves for nothing – It was not an easy decision to make, but it just shows how much he has grown as a leader since season 1. We save who we can save today.

But now he thinks Clarke Griffin is dead that that hurts me like you have no idea. But he won’t let her death be in vain. He is going to make damn sure every one of those space delinquents thrives. He’s going to be the best leader he can be, to honour her. I loved him looking at The Baton bottle at the window on the Ark (the Ring?). So technically it was Jaha passing on the baton, but I think it’s obviously also a symbol of Clarke handing the sole leadership to Bellamy (for now).

Oh and my girl Clarke Griffin! So brave! So strong! The worst part of her staying on Earth for me was the idea that she would be by herself for 5 years. I really didn’t want that for her. So I’m glad she found Madi. I’m not wild about the sudden Clarke-as-a-mom storyline. It feels like a cheap way to “soften” her? Like she adopts a child and now she’ll be a very different person and make completely different choices? I don’t know. I’m probably wrong. I’m sure they’ll make it work. I thought they’d go the Heda Clarke route this season and they proved me wrong (and called out the shittiness of it) so I’m willing to keep an open mind.

AND SHE’S BEEN RADIO-ING BELLAMY BLAKE EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR 6 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS!? The thought of him keeps her sane, reminds her of her humanity!? I mean!?! Even when he is millions of miles away HE STILL KEEPS HER CENTERED. I really don’t know if the show will ever go full-on romantic Bellarke, but they have already proven that they are soulmates. I really hope they let them make out and get married etc. but I’m willing to wait for it as long as the show keeps giving their relationship the attention and care that it deserves.

Gah! Is it 2018 yet?

#The 100 #Bellarke #Bellamy Blake #Clarke Griffin #The Delinquents #Octavia Blake #Raven Reyes #Echo kom Azgeda #Monty Green #John Murphy #Emori #Cath has thoughts and feels

9 notes · View notes

colorofyourhair · 7 years

Text

Hung Jury

Prompt:

Prompt Rating: M/E

Note: Requests are open again so please see [this] post for rules if you’d like to make one! As tumblr is the only site that will let me list an individual rating per chapter I’ll rate them as content demands. However the larger compilation on both FFN and AO3 are rated M.

Also posted here:

FFN

AO3

“I know what you're thinking,” the boy said with an arrogant grin. Jellal cocked an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair. The heat of the room was starting to bother him. Ridiculous that the department hadn't fixed the air conditioning yet.

“And what's that?”

“If you keep me in this dank ass room long enough I'll give you a name.”

“First of all, punk –” Laxus pushed off the wall and poked his finger toward Erik irritably. Jellal bit back a sigh and stood. He grasped his partner's sleeve and tugged him toward the door. Erik's grin didn't fade even as Jellal shut the door closed behind them. “Can you believe that kid?” Laxus muttered, smoothing his shirt before rolling up his sleeves.

“Yeah, I can. It's you I can't believe. Are you really going to snap on a seventeen year old? His ego doesn't need the boost, Dreyar, get your shit together.”

“It's a fucking sauna in there and if I have to look at his dumbass grin –”

“Go get a snickers. I'll handle the rest.” Laxus's scowl deepened but he didn't argue. He yanked his sleeve up and over a final fold and stalked away. Jellal followed suit with his own sleeves and stepped back into the interrogation room.

“Your partner can't handle the heat?” Erik asked, grin still in place. Jellal's mouth curled into his own grin and the boy's smile flinched for the first time. He pulled a file from the stack and flipped it open. Erik shifted in his seat when Jellal slid a pair of security footage photos toward him.

“Do any of these look familiar?”

“No,” Erik mumbled.

“No?” Jellal leaned forward. “Are you sure? Not even a little?”

“Look, man –”

“What about this one?” Jellal slid a third photo across the table. The image was not of the best quality but the facial scar and hair were unmistakable. Erik slumped in his chair. “Ringing a bell now?”

“You can't prove that's me,” Erik said, grasping at previous bravado.

“You know I can. I'd rather not, though. We know who did the breaking and taking, that much is on camera.”

“Then what do you want from me?”

“This.” Jellal collected the three photos and provided a fourth. “Who is he?” He watched Erik glance at the picture and then divert his eyes to pick at a scab on his arm.

“I don't know.”

“You're sure about that?”

“I never seen him before.”

Jellal sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. “What's going to happen to your sister if you get sent away again, Erik? You're old enough to be her guardian now and that's a big job you can't do from jail.”

“I can handle it.”

“Yeah? Then why are you running around with drug dealers? That's a far cry from what went down last night. That's serious jail time.”

“I – I haven't done any of that.”

“Not yet, no. These people, Erik, they don't care about you and they're not the type to let you just dip a toe in.” Erik said nothing and Jellal pursed his lips. He pulled out the last photo in the file and slid it across the table. “What about her?”

Erik stopped fidgeting and glanced at the photos again. He flicked the photo of the unknown man away from him as if it would burn him, and tapped his finger on the edge of the woman's. “I can help you with her.”

He found Laxus standing in front of an oscillating desk fan sipping a can of soda. Jellal snorted and tossed the files on his desk.

“Comfortable?”

“Damn right I am,” Laxus muttered. “Did you get a name off the kid?”

“Not the one I was hoping for.”

“You weren't gonna get anything important out of him. He's a grunt. Did you book him?”

“No, it's not worth it. His sister's only eight and I can't fucking stand the idea of calling social services.”

“He'll just do it again.”

“He's our only lead on the Six Prayers right now and I know I can get him to give me a bigger name. I'm not locking him up just to prove a point. It's stupid and the little girl will be the one who suffers.”

Laxus barked out a laugh and flopped into his desk chair. “You're a softie.”

“Maybe.”

Ultear Milkovich's presence was announced by the click of her heels on linoleum and the cloud of perfume that always followed her around. She rapped her knuckles on the edge of Jellal's desk and smirked.

“Detectives,” her smile dripped with something that made Jellal's skin crawl. “Do you know where I just came from?”

“Man Eaters Not So Anonymous?” Laxus asked nonchalantly, sipping from his soda can. She didn't flinch in the slightest – which only served to make Jellal feel even more uneasy.

“The courthouse,” she said, not skipping a beat.

“How shocking.” Laxus muttered. Despite his partner's flippancy with the District Attorney, her eyes zeroed in on Jellal.

“I have a new ADA,” she said coyly. “I personally find her to be over qualified for this position and too much of a bleeding heart – kind of like someone else I know – but she'll do. We need some fresh blood around here.”

“What's that got to do with us?” Laxus asked, crushing his soda can. Ultear's eyes never left Jellal's.

“Just thought you should know,” she said in an overly sweet voice. She sashayed away on her typical pair of ridiculously high heels.

“I can't stand that woman,” Laxus said under his breath. “I know, I know, we're all on the same side but still. There's something about her that rubs me the wrong way.”

Jellal stared after Ultear and jumped when Laxus threw his empty soda can at him.

“Hey, Fernandes!”

“Hm?”

“You got a thing for her or something? I'd watch out, she's the type to suck your soul out right through your dick.”

Jellal curled his lip. “No.”

“Let's bail on this heat trap and get some lunch. I'm starving.”

“Yeah, okay.” Jellal grabbed his jacket and followed Laxus from the building. The sun wasn't much better than the broken AC in the station but the diner Laxus made a bee-line for would be cool enough on the inside. There was much better food nearby but Jellal knew they weren't going to Mira's for the burgers.

The courthouse wasn't his favorite place to be. High ceilings and the pomp of Lady Justice made him feel claustrophobic. Jellal hooked a finger into the collar of his shirt and tugged. Even now, as an adult and on the proper end of the law, Jellal couldn't shake the first impressions this building had left on him when he'd been nothing but a scrappy kid like Erik.

“Detective Fernandes?” The title was formal but the voice was so familiar it sliced him right in two. Jellal whirled around. He saw her hair first – always the hair – it was like a sickness with him. She had it twisted up and off her shoulders but he felt trapped by it all the same.

“Erza?” he breathed. Her name, her hair, her voice. All the broken pieces of himself came tumbling from the closet he'd stuffed them into all those years ago when she'd been a clerk and he'd still been in a uniform riding around the city writing traffic tickets. The closet door had never been hung right in the first place and the hinges were bound to fail at the first sign of pressure.

“Ms. Scarlet is probably better,” she muttered, and shifted the bag on her shoulder. Erza's heels weren't nearly as high as Ultear's but even if they had been she'd still be several inches shorter than him. He stepped back so as not to tower over her.

“Right. My apologies, Ms. Scarlet.” Jellal's heart pounded violently against his chest and it hurt – it hurt so good.

“Uh, I just needed to –”

“There you are Ms. Scarlet.” Ultear's voice rattled the marbles in Jellal's head and he frowned. Erza's eyes hadn't left his but he had to tear his own away. He had to. “I see you've found him. Detective, Ms. Scarlet will be handling the Six Prayers case. I assume your witness is ready?”

“My witness still hasn't been properly protected,” Jellal snapped, focusing entirely on Ultear.

“The state agreed to –”

“He's seventeen with an eight year old sibling he has sole custody of. The state can do better.” Jellal enjoyed the frustrated way Ultear's eyebrows drew together.

“He's a minor component to a street gang. This isn't a federal case, Detective”

“Then I guess you don't have a witness.” Jellal spun on his heel and counted his steps away from her. He made it to five before Ultear stopped him. It took every ounce of maturity not to smirk.

“Fine! We'll work something out. I'll send Ms. Scarlet over tomorrow with an offer.”

Jellal turned back around and slid his hands into his pockets with an arrogance he knew Ultear hated. “How generous of you. We'll look it over.”

“Since when are cops on the side of criminals?”

“Somebody has to look out for who falls underfoot when cases get moving. My witness isn't the one on trial.” Jellal couldn't bring himself to look at Erza again. He moved quickly down the hallway and out of the building. Once through the doors, he sucked in a deep, shaking breath.

“So the new ADA is your ex?” Laxus asked around a mouthful of pancakes.

“Yep.”

“And Milkovich knew that the other day when she came through the station?”

“Yep.”

“Sounds messy,” Laxus grunted.

“Divorce usually is,” Jellal mumbled, finishing off his coffee. He didn't have to look up to know Laxus was pulling his signature eyebrow twitch.

“Divorce?” he hissed. “I didn't know you were married! Why didn't I know that about you? We're fucking partners, man.”

“Sorry, I guess it didn't come up what with all the small talk we have time to do.” Jellal finally glanced at his partner. Laxus was clearly offended. “It doesn't matter. Everybody does stupid shit in college. We were too young to know what we were doing and it ended in a great big mess. I don't know why she's back here, but it doesn't matter.”

“You aren't going to ask?”

“It's none of my business.” Jellal eyed Laxus's incredulous expression. “You've been hanging out with Mirajane too long. You're turning into a gossip.”

“Any other skeletons you've got in your closet, Fernandes?” Laxus asked, returning to his familiar gruff tone. “Is this gonna change the case?”

“Nope.” Jellal crumpled his napkin and left it on his plate.

“Full immunity and a safehouse?” Jellal muttered as he looked over the official papers Ultear had sent.

“You aren't even an attorney, much less his,” Erza said with annoyance. “It's not really up to you.”

“My witness is seventeen. He may be considered an adult in the eyes of the law but he's still vulnerable.” He glanced up at her and couldn't stop himself from grinning. “This all came from Ultear? She signed off on it so quickly after huffing and puffing in the courthouse yesterday?” Erza looked away and Jellal openly enjoyed the fact that she still blushed easily.

“It's my case, Detective. She trusts me to handle it appropriately.”

“I see. Well I appreciate your consideration, Ms. Scarlet. I'll be in touch.”

“We're going to court in a week.”

“Yes, it says that right here,” he said, still grinning. Jellal didn't know where his obnoxious confidence was coming from but he didn't hate it. Making Erza huff in indignation still pleased him.

“I was just making sure you understood that. When you say you'll be in touch, I need to know when that'll be.”

“Still a stickler for schedules, huh?” Jellal's internal voice of reason was screaming at him to stop messing with her.

“This is serious, Jellal.” She didn't realize she'd called him by his first name until it fell from her lips. Her face turned red and his grin widened. “I didn't – I mean –” Jellal enjoyed her floundering but decided – in his first reasonable act since she'd approached his desk – to have mercy.

“It's fine, Ms. Scarlet. It happens. I'll be in touch before the weekend. How's that?”

“Thank you,” she said in an embarrassed breath. Erza's hair swished around her shoulders when she spun around to vacate the station, leaving a puff of lavender scented air behind her.

“What the fuck was that?” Laxus asked – he'd almost forgotten his partner was even there. Jellal fell into his own chair and sighed. Now that the high had worn off, he wished he'd kept things shorter. More professional.

“What was what?”

“You were ruthless with her.”

“You haven't seen ruthless,” Jellal murmured.

“She's giving the kid a really good deal to roll on his buddies. Why'd you bat her around like that? Overkill, man.”

“Leave it alone.” He stood and grabbed his jacket. “I'm getting out of here. It's late and I'm starving. You staying or do you want to grab dinner?”

“Nah, I need to finish up these reports.”

Jellal left Laxus squinting at his laptop screen and stalked through the station. In truth, he didn't know why he'd behaved that way with Erza. Their relationship had been a lesson in pendulum swings. The highs were amazing and being with her had made him happier than he'd ever been in his life but the lows – Jellal didn't care to revisit the lows. Too many hours working and not enough hours talking. They'd walked away mad with words still in the queue – which he now realized was not the way to end anything.

“Stop itching your wrists,” Jellal hissed. “It makes you look like a junkie.”

“I can't help it!” Erik shot back, tugging on the cuffs of his sleeves. “This thing itches and I don't even want to be wearing it.”

“It makes you look less like an urchin.”

“Well, I am an urchin. So the fuck what?”

“Don't fucking swear in the courthouse!”

Erik smirked. “You just did, Detective. Such a good role model.” Jellal rolled his eyes and sighed. As much as he hated the courthouse, he needed to make sure Erik didn't bail at the last minute. “Where's my sister?”

“Don't worry about it,” Jellal muttered. “She's with one of the clerks.”

“All you tell me to do is worry about her and when I do you tell me not to?”

“You need to focus on your testimony. Your sister will be fine.” Erik slumped over on the bench and Jellal joined him. “I hate it here too. It'll be over soon enough.”

“You're a cop,” Erik muttered. “Isn't this like your second home?”

“Not anymore. Hopefully you won't be back here too often after today.”

“Trust me, all this bullshit is enough for me not to mess with the Prayers ever again. I'm taking my sister to my grandma's and we're gonna do things right.”

“Good.” Jellal leaned back against the wall. “If you manage that you'll be doing better than me at your age.”

Jellal wasn't allowed in the courtroom during Erik's testimony. He waited anxiously on the bench outside and counted every fleck in the berber carpet between his feet. When he reached eight-hundred and fifty-seven, the door swung open and Erza escorted Erik back into the hallway. Jellal stood and his eyes flit between them.

“Well?”

“I think we have a solid case. The jury is out and all we can do is wait.”

“Can I see my sister now?” Erik asked under his breath. He wouldn't look at Jellal or Erza.

“Of course,” Erza said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. The motion caught Jellal's eye and he looked away quickly. “I'll get her and the two of you are free to go.” She disappeared around the corner and Erik exhaled heavily. He fell back onto the bench and gazed up at the ceiling.

“What's the matter?” Jellal asked.

“That lawyer lady.”

“What about her?”

“She's hot. I can't even look at her.” Erik shook his head. “Every time she asked me a question I felt like I was gonna die.” Jellal snorted and then caught himself.

“She's an Assistant District Attorney. It doesn't matter what she looks like.”

“You weren't the one under fire, man. It was like being murdered in the best way possible.”

“Yeah well –” Jellal bit his tongue and glanced back down the hallway. Erza rounded the corner and knelt in front of the little girl. He couldn't hear the conversation but the girl smiled and took a packet of cookies from Erza.

Erik stood at their approach and took his sister's hand. “Hey, squirt. Ready to get out of her?” She nodded and waved to Erza one last time. “Hope I don't see you again, Fernandes,” Erik said before leading his sister away.

When Jellal turned around, Erza had gone.

“Vodka cranberry, please. Two limes.” The voice beside him was soft and Jellal knocked back the rest of his bourbon.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, not taking his eyes off the empty glass.

“Well, I thought I deserved a drink for winning my first case as an ADA.” Jellal's eyes slid over to where the bartender placed Erza's drink on a fresh napkin. “I didn't expect to see you, though.”

“No?” He finally turned to her. “Your boss didn't mention this is a popular spot for courthouse stragglers?”

“She didn't.” Erza sipped her drink and smiled. God he still loved her smile. It was a beautiful disaster waiting to happen. “But since you put it that way, I should be asking what you're doing here. The courthouse hasn't ever been your haunt. Unless things have changed now that you're a detective.”

“They haven't,” he muttered pushing his glass toward the opposite side of the bar and signaling the bartender. In not so many words she'd stripped him down. He'd come here on purpose like a fucking addict.

“I see.”

“Why are you in Crocus, Erza?” He watched her stir the ice and lime wedges. She'd always left the rinds in her glass instead of leaving them on the napkin.

“Because I needed a change. Magnolia is boring.”

“So your big change was to come back here?”

“Should I lie, Jellal? Should I say I meant to never run into you? I think you'd know that's bullshit.”

“You took a job you knew would be incredibly stressful just because we might run into each other?” Jellal snorted and watched her finish off her cocktail. The ice left her lips sparkling in the low light of the bar.

“Not exactly.”

“I always forget talking in circles is part of your job.” Jellal dug out his wallet and left enough cash on the bar for his tab and tip. Trying to get Erza to say what he needed would be harder than prying confessions from smartass kids like Erik. He turned to leave but her hand shot out to grasp his wrist and he froze.

“Wait,” she whispered. “Don't leave.”

“We've played this game already, Erza,” he said turning his head only halfway back toward her. “We know how it ends.”

“If you're so sure, why did you come here tonight?” Her question stung like the worst – best – kind of salve.

“So what if I'm not sure? What does that mean? Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results?” Her grip on his wrist tightened and he turned the rest of the way around. Her eyes were wide. The vodka cranberry hadn't been her first drink of the evening just like the bourbon hadn't been his.

“Maybe we're insane, then,” she whispered. She slid off her stool and stepped close to him. Her fingers brushed over the buttons of his shirt and Jellal couldn't even stop her. Instead, he pulled out his wallet again and added to the pile of cash. If he hurt her again he wanted to at least know he'd bought the drinks.

Her lips didn't taste like cranberry or vodka. The flavor was the kind of red wine so dry and bitter it would bring anyone who wasn't Erza to tears. She'd always liked the bite.

He wasn't familiar with her apartment but the wall nearest her front door was perfect. Jellal pressed her against it and kissed her with a wild force. Her breath caught in her throat and her nails dug into his shoulder through his shirt. Erza had always been skilled with buttons and his didn't last long – the shirt wound up on the floor quickly. He tugged the zipper of her dress down and didn't remove any of it before his palms were greedily taking in the expanse of her back. She was still as smooth as he remembered.

“Erza –”

“We can talk later, Jellal,” she breathed tugging at the button keeping his pants clothed. “Just fuck me.” There was a certain lilt to her demand that made him smile wickedly. His pants hit the floor at the same time as her dress. Determined to learn everything he'd missed in the last several years, Jellal's eyes took all of her in. Her bra was black lace and his hand still knew the exact swell of her breasts – even if she no longer wore cheap cotton.

Jellal hooked his finger into the waist of her panties – more black lace – and pulled them down. He didn't bother to find out if she was wet because he didn't need to. The way she closed her eyes and bit at his bottom lip reminded him of so many times before. His hand grasped her thigh and hitched it over his hip. Her back slid against the wall and he thrust inside of her with years worth of frustrated want.

He would always want Erza.

Her thighs gripped him tightly and her tongue entered his mouth with an equal force. Erza's breaths reached a peak and her mouth tore away from his and rolled back to hit the wall. In a show of forethought he didn't leave a mark on her neck but he could've. She wouldn't have stopped him.

“There, right there,” she bit out, kissing him again with the intent to bruise. Jellal lifted her leg higher and relished every clench, every spasm, every pulse of her climax.

“Fuck,” he gasped and emptied himself inside of her without a thought to pulling out. He hoped she was still on the pill. Erza's feet hit the floor but she didn't let him go.

“Bed,” she whispered, digging her fingernails into his forearm. Her bedroom was dark but the light from the window was good enough. Before she fell into the mattress, he pulled her against his chest. Careful not to damage the expensive bra he unhooked each clasp and tossed it aside.

Jellal filled his hands with her breasts and held her back against his chest. The scent of her lavender shampoo filled his nostrils and her hair brushed over his lips. Strands of scarlet twisted over his fingers when he finally bent her over the bed.

It crossed his mind to get the fuck out before she woke but he couldn't. For all his greedy roughness the night before, he didn't want to go. The softness of morning soothed every sting she'd left – both on his shoulders and on his heart.

“You didn't leave,” she whispered drawing his attention. His instinct was to smile but Jellal pushed it down. He wasn't sure if it would be real and lying to Erza wasn't something he wanted to do even now.

“No, I didn't leave.” His eyes never left hers as he reached for a curl of hair stuck to her shoulder. It was one thing to have it tangle in his hands as he fucked her, but this... this was something else.

#Fairy Tail #Jerza #Jellal Fernandes #Erza Scarlet #prompt requests

47 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 7 years

Text

Jupiter Ascending Fic: When the Bough Breaks

Summary: Just days after Balem returned to his adult self, Jupiter is thrown head-first into another adventure - one she, frankly, really doesn't have the energy for. But when has the universe ever taken her desires into account? Mysteries, promises, and desperate moves forward; bees, splices, and awkward family dinners. It's enough to make even her seasoned head spin.

...which doesn't even include the chance to play at 'Mother' once more. Only question is: will Jupiter take it?

(Sequel to Rock the Cradle)

Fandom: Jupiter Ascending

Words: 1,614 (so far)

Warnings: Mentions of past child abuse, alcoholism

Pairings: Jupiter/Caine

Where to Read it: Below the cut or on AO3 (AO3 recommended for formatting)

When the Bough Breaks: Chapter One

Jupiter sat with her back to most of the crowd, the sun warming her neck and her hands fidgeting endlessly. One traced the condensation on her glass while the other twisted the stud in her ear.

“I spy with my little eye…” she said, turning to scan the patrons. There was certainly a lot to choose from. The day was hot, the shopping good, and everyone seemed to have had the same idea as her: get lunch at the cute little outdoor café. Jupiter saw a young couple playing footsie underneath their table, the one girl’s heels gliding over the other’s sandals. There was another woman whom she presumed was a teacher, hard at work even during the summer months, covering some poor student’s paper using Track Changes. A group of guys shared a large plate of nachos. A father absently pet his daughter’s hair as he scowled at his phone. A mother—

Jupiter whirled back around. She planted her chin in her hand and pursed her lips. Then she smiled at Caine.

“Something yellow,” she finished.

“The confection on those men’s chips,” Caine answered readily. He bit his lip slightly when she huffed.

“How—?”

“Your stared at them a moment longer than the other spots. Did you want some?”

Nachos… food did always make her feel better. She’d already had a chicken and pesto sandwich though. And an iced chai. And half of Caine’s blueberry scone.

Jupiter waved him off. “No, I’m good. You’re cheating though.”

“I am?” Caine blinked. “I thought the purpose of this game was to determine what you’d spotted based on eye-line matches, common facial tells, your individual preferences…” he trailed off when Jupiter’s sulking grew more pronounced.

“You’re supposed to guess,” she moaned.

“That… doesn’t seem to take much skill…”

Jupiter let out a groan and gave up, planting her head on the cool tabletop. Why she’d thought it would be a good idea to teach Caine a kid’s game, she didn’t know. It had started as a stupid distraction, but apparently her subconscious wasn’t willing to let things go just yet. So Jupiter was now perfectly content to glare at the table, thank you very much. It was one of those frosted glass ones and Jupiter took a ridiculous amount of pleasure in watching her blurred feet kick at the slate. She only stopped when her flip-flop bent—betrayal—and she stubbed her toe. Jupiter muttered a few obscenities into the crook of her arm.

A minute passed. Two. Then Jupiter felt the slightest poke on the top of her head. It turned into five fingers gently massaging her scalp and she groaned again, this time in contentment.

“I spy with my little eye… A queen who is rather worried about tonight’s festivities.”

“Festivities.” Jupiter’s head shot back up and she blinked at Caine. “I wouldn’t really call it ‘festivities.’”

“No? You decided to host the event.”

Okay. So Jupiter may or may not have been overly optimistic and grasping at straws the second she walked out of that throne room. Could anyone really blame her? Her life hadn’t exactly been plan-proof lately: abducted by aliens, finding out she was Queen of Far Too Much Shit, landing herself a hunky angel-wolf-boyfriend…

… finding out her would-be murderer had possibly, deliberately de-aged himself.

Balem.

That was the crux of it all, wasn’t it? One moment Jupiter was sort of getting used to her newfound space life, the next a capitalist obsessed mama’s boy was taking up residence in her lap. She wasn’t going to lie, not to herself at least. Balem had drawn forth a whole slew of maternal instincts that, frankly, Jupiter had thought she’d missed out on genetically. Devotion to Dude Bros 1 through 6 of her misspent youth certainly hadn’t inspired a desire for kids. Hell, even Caine hadn’t managed that, not until Jupiter actually saw him shuffling around a cranky six-year-old, trying to figure out how to talk to this girlfriend-stealing creature. Maybe it was a sliver of Seraphi rising up within her… no. Maybe it was the essence of what Seraphi could have been, if she’d bothered to spend a second to get to know the child she’d given life to. Maybe it was just that Jupiter couldn’t stand to see a tiny face crying like that. Whatever it was, Balem had managed to become quite the fixture within her heart—all the sappiness implied. Jupiter loved the brat. Only problem was, that brat was gone.

Sort of. Kind of? One second she’d had what she was coming to think of as a son, the next Jupiter just had an enemy again, breathing insults down the back of her neck… except that Balem had changed deliberately. He had started all this. At least, that was the impression Kalique and Titus held. It couldn’t be a coincidence that Balem was reading Liam and Cryian’s story the day he took a Regene-X bath with a disabled genetic code. Or hell, maybe it was a coincidence. Caine and Stinger certainly weren’t convinced (“You Majesty,” soft eyes, an almost pitying stare. “Balem, the adult Balem, lost the ability to love centuries ago…”). All Jupiter knew for sure was that she’d seen evidence of her own, things that went beyond Kalique’s stupid book or the boys’ cynicism: Balem had worn her earring. He hadn’t tossed the album back in a charred heap. Jupiter knew—could see it in his eyes—that he remembered.

Certainly all the counted for something, right?

Jupiter planted her face into her hands. “Or maybe he just couldn’t be bothered to take the damn earring out,” she muttered.

Caine nodded, understanding, fingers returning to massage Jupiter’s wrist, right where her Entitled tattoo lay. He had callouses all over, the result of handling a ridiculously wide variety of weaponry, and Jupiter found the rough texture soothing. She let out a long, slow breath.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do with all this,” she said, nodding to the bags at their feet. “This was a stupid idea.”

“Stinger will appreciate the food. Even more if you cook it for him.”

“Ha. Yeah. How do you get so good at pancakes and nothing else?”

“It’s a talent.”

Jupiter continued nudging the nearest bag with the front of her flip-flop. As she did, movement caught her eye again: that mother, sitting on the table to their right, spoon feeding her infant something mushy and green. It was easy for that woman, wasn’t it? Nothing was easy for Jupiter as a potentially would-be mother… or as a daughter.

She’d been stupidly optimistic a week ago. Dealing with Balem’s transformation and his quick turn back, Jupiter had admittedly been reeling a bit. She’d thrown out the invitation to dinner with more confidence than she’d felt, especially considering there hadn’t been a dinner scheduled yet. Kalique and Titus had both agreed readily enough—no doubt they wanted to get as much dirt on their brother as possible, though the more she thought about it, the more Jupiter convinced herself that Balem wouldn’t even show. Why would he? Tens of thousands of years weren’t outweighed by a few days in her care. Besides, if Balem was anything, he was stubborn.

Sometime between Friday and Saturday those dinner plans had turned into a “reveal-you’re-a-galactic-queen-to-your-family-omg-it’s-time-Jupiter” party. She had promised her mom two days, after that fiasco of a dinner. She’d intended to call a meeting and explain things on Monday, as calmly and rationally as possible when her life was neither calm nor rational. Jupiter knew there was a hell of a lot to explain. When she’d touched back down on Earth after seeing to Balem, she’d found her family happily back at home, neither Aleksa nor Nino recalling that just hours before Jupiter had disappeared on their client’s lawn, dematerializing in a flash of blue light. Apparently the Keepers stationed on Earth had a damn good response time.

Memory wipes after the refinery… after Balem… how long could this go on? Jupiter didn’t know what the long term effects of something like that was, and frankly, she didn’t want to find out. Just tell them all ready, you dolt.

So… Monday. That had been the plan, anyway. Her mom and the others would have a few days days before Thursday’s dinner to process it all, which was a hell of a lot more than Jupiter had gotten. Imagine, coming to terms with extraterrestrial life without said life pointing a laser gun at your head, and they weren’t the once inheriting a freaking planet. (Unless they were? Who gained her inheritance when she died?? Ugh, legalities…) The only problem with this master plan was that Monday had passed her by, with Jupiter spending it hovering anxiously around her mom—opening and shutting her mouth like a caught, cowardly trout.

…Easy to imagine how well that had gone over.

Tuesday gone, Wednesday too, Thursday morning at 12:00 Jupiter had called a quick goodbye after finishing the Lawrence’s house, met Caine at the store, and proceeded to purchase all the ingredients for a dinner that was only technically still in the works.

Here and now, Jupiter sullenly kicked the bag of groceries. Again.

“You’ll break the eggs,” Caine cautioned. He didn’t sound terribly upset about that though.

“Why did we even get eggs? You don’t need eggs for a steak and baked potato dinner.”

“Stinger wants to broaden his breakfast repertoire.”

Jupiter narrowed her eyes. “Well Stinger can just—”

Bzz, Bzz.

“—call me apparently." Caine shrugged, no more knowledgeable than she was. All Jupiter could do was palm her phone and lean her elbow casually on the table.

"Hey, beekeeper. What's up?”

#Jupiter Ascending #JA #JAfic #Jupiter Jones #Caine Wise #I've wanted to start this sequel for a very long time honestly <3

4 notes · View notes

throwingideasatthewall · 3 years

Text

Clone Wars Episode 16

The Hidden Enemy

[Title Sequence]

Quote

Okay

“ A planet under siege,”

Actually shows a planet under siege

Good job narrator, you’re on point

Aight

Right

[ unable to defend themselves any longer,”

Bull shit

Those Are Adults

They’ve been in war for how long?

Point Being; No Excuse

Yeet

Call on the Jedi for assistance More Enablers!

“Hoping to save lives and prevent further destruction,”

They did not assume Account - ability and Con- tin ued To Enable

It’s a nice design though

“And Anakin Skywalker,”

They dragged the teenager into this didn’t they?

Nice

Anakin

Also now it’s crucial

“We’re Set,”

“ got some guys here that are set to get going,”

Ooh

It’s better

Than Openly Snarking Anakin

Now Just “ it’s a little too much tone,” Back

There we go

Also focusing a lot on that guy with yellow armor

[Bet he’s the new hero!]

Whelp

Everything’s Looking Pretty- Realistic

That’s Dry...

Also are you right next to each other using walkie-talkies?

Cool

Suspic.

Okay Neat

Whelp

That’s A Lot

Battalion

Yeah that’s a lot

Tanks

Yep

Hope They Have Explosives

Whelp

“A little Closer”

Shouldn’t the superior be giving the orders

Like; Fair if he handed off that authority off screen

Would’ve been nice to see the plan coming together though

Right

They’re splitting up

Darn It

That screws up

Whelp

The Fuck?

Who didn’t give a warning??

Like they all just silently died??

Whelp-

That-

Sounded literal plastic cans falling over

Abort the mission

???? How?

Is there a second doorway??

-What

Whelp

Also that some admittedly weak armor

Like one shot and those guys go down

Whelp

Then again they are supposed to be cannon fodder

[or just outwhelm with numbers]

Aka; The council probably gave them cheap armor

Whelp

Okay

Dude, you see flashing lights and a bunch of bullshit going down

Like you’ve clearly shown the ability to put pieces together

And they might be going with a different tone-

Then again-

Cut off

Droids onto Us...

Whelp...

Ouch. .

Evac south tower - His tone is a little too innocent

Good Plan

South Tower

We’re in the North

Not For-

[Okay I’m conflicted are they going for Adult Anakin? Because This Is Kinda.... New Taking the bite out of the Darth Vader thing, But This is the lead up...

Point being; If they’re going for adult, they really need to lean more into the snarky I-know exactly-what-I’m-doing- tone

[Even, Re-assured tone]

If not; then more monotone

This is the best of neither worlds

Does n’t Work

Aight, Lots Of Smart Decisions

[Except for Obi-wan]

You have blasters

Not snipers

How?

Wait-

How-?

They’re

Several

Yards-

Blasters are short range weapons right?

In every circumstance we’ve seen they’ve been short range-

So-

... He dead?

Whelp- Heck-

Aight

Cutting’s a little odd

Un- satisfactory

Get- Over here

????

Now he can throw stuff

Obi-Wan is a show off

There’s five but okay

Right the elevator

Oh roof top

That’s smart

Now What?

No one guarding the elevator

Or heard it come up

(Those things make noise)

Whelp

Good someone took cover -

Whelp

Okay

Did everyone join this roof top fight?

Seriously, where is that plane/ Carrier?

Whelp

There We Are

Question answered

Aight

Seriously

What are those blasters?

I thought they were some high heated sparks that could causes bruises and dents, to the armor, breaking it down

But dude reacts like he got hit by a one-shot cannonball?

Like, why-

Anyway...

They escape

Dude, taking a souvenir

Seriously, that’s sus

[Oof]

Anyway..

[Holy sh*t the red!]

Maybe this tactical droid will help

You’re sus

How they knew our plan

????

Has this happened multiple times?

That seems like a pretty big jump?

Like ‘oh they happen to take a different path and stumble up the stairs, traitor- I’m go-”

Seriously

Night

Base

Why

The editing is weird

Progression-

Whelp, that happened

...

Just doesn’t make sense

That they saw you and

reacted accordingly

Like, what are we supposed to find sus here?

Missing a bit of crucial information

How we got here

How?

Future Tech

Rt-D2

“Least-”

Again -How

“They had all our Intel,”

We saw only one line of it that can be gleaned from basic observation

Please enlighten us

Ambush

Vulnerable

They walked up a flight of stairs

You know what would’ve worked better?

Troop Movement Charts

That would’ve worked a lot better with the dialogue going on here

And what just happened

Here.... They kinda look like Over paranoid idiots for no reason

I don’t think we did

.... it was a flight of stairs

Infiltrated our defenses

Up a flight of stairs

Possibly

Dude not possibly you were ready to jump on this idea

OK so this is a Obi-Wan-and- Anakin-are-overly-paranoid-and-actually stumbled-across-some-thing Mission

Okay those are fine, Just would’ve liked a few more context clues

Exclud -ing the title

Getting right into the murder mystery

“Intel.” STAIRS ....

Seps

‘Who want to betray the guys who enabled our Abuse....”

Enemy Lines

This is really corny

Breaking out the disguises

Aight

What....

Anyone...

Two Clones

Like they do have top security clearance if we’re going with the Obi-wan’s paranoid logic

Cody didn’t say anything...

Whelp

Beeping

Whelp Shit

Why... did you run?

What kind of run is that... Rex?

What?

Also, teamwork?

Rex Has A Gun

Wait, you’re going to shoot him??

Please- tell me that’s a stun gun

Whelp, How?

That Face

Must’ve gone in the mess hall

Aight

We’ve got a big problem

Did anyone switch into armor

Also, ‘ hey did someone come through here?’

You’re the superiors

No one‘s going to question a reprimand on conduct

Oh that you’re going to question someone you don’t know the name of

Like, there’s five guys here

(Maybe More)

And you’re acting like a basic “hey what’s up, how’s it going is going to trigger a spy sense,

Like, there is some protocol on running in the hall right?

Like, seems easy enough

Brothers

Weakest relation in all the relations

Also dude was wearing A gray uniform

Did you just think he was the custodian?

One Of Us

Did you just leave the cafeteria without....

Rex & Cody suck at being detectives

Also what’s his voice just did a maniacal there

Like, What?!

We’ll have to wait for his next move....

What is with the logic.....

This is supposed to be a murder mystery.... but the logic is the weakest part

“Jedi,”

We found nothing master Jedi

[we did toss away a lead though]

.....

What?

Real discrete

Okay

Smart droid

.....

Rex and Cody are the worlds worst detectives

Rex Specifically

But he was always the instigator of bad ideas

R2D2... Is the spy

Whelp

...Aight

Slick

Aight

Whelp

..It was a building..

Aight...

Whelp

Time to have cookies and tea with the separatist leader

No, No Way

Assumed authority

Whelp

Two of them have hair

[excluding Slick]

Who’s name is slick

What

It’s Him

...

Okay now they all have hair

Bullshit Animators

Two of those guys were very clearly bald

Dude Went To Crate-

In-consistency

The third guy came out of nowhere

And it wasn’t Slick

Seriously my eyes on fifth guy

He can appear out of thin air

Nice

Whelp

Stabbed

Okay

Ventress Seriously, did the cloak conceal that much?

Unpleasant

Obi-won, stop flirting

Sorry

Obi-won

Seriously, What is with this scene?

I’m as Ace as it can get

(And not interested in my commentary becoming *that*)

And this scene is clearly ship

Like, should Anakin go to a different room?

[again I’m not trying to make it]

Okay back to the clones

[Thank God]

What-

Dear frick

[i’m not sure which was worse]

Fuck

Also, Machine Gu-

Nope

- -

Are the innuendos - - Going to end?

I’m trying to be a relatively serious reviewer

And.... sex jokes are not my style

Eer-

Right Away

Sket

Dear frick His name is literally Sketch

Else

There were- there was one dude

Also- why didn’t you ask when you were in the mess?

We Will

It’s Slick

“ I got nothing to hide ,”

Yeah, he does

Med Droids

Aight

Chopper

Seriously being last must suck

Already throwing sus

*Up

Chopper doesn’t have hair!

Oh, good done with the flirting

My Loyal Informant

Gosh dammit Obi-won

Anakin, Just wants it over

Whelp

Obi-wan doesn’t wanna help

Nice

Cool

Don’t shame the man for his hobbies (Except for the enabling of war part)

Aight

Whelp

What

Geez

That’s like collecting metal from a training exercise

What??

Didn’t Cody take a feckin head

Seriously, dysfunctional is a bit strong

Fuck

He was doing arts and crafts

At least he fessed up

Forbidden?

Seriously

What About Rex?

Oh whoever took the fecking head??

I’m no spy

Ack

Now Obi-won’s helping

Chopper

Slick’s Projecting

Okay

Tell where you want

Good Job

Saw You

Whelp

Sergeant

Freudian Slip

They Have Missions?

I Mean

Name’s literally Slick (Honestly I would’ve gone with one of the two “Higher Ups Here; Would’ve Gone for a better twist/ Fore shadow-ed the turn (Discontent) Ment; This is just some random guy

Still servicable

They really pulled off the manipulator; Wished they showed this side of the enabler’s more

He Won

Poor Dude

Heck Stalling

Seriously what is the plan here?

To capture her

To...

Get hit with the book

Whelp

He should be long gone

His shelter, is on the other side

He’s already got a Headstart

So, the gun ship. is pretty pointless

Ha Trap

But did they just not use their eyes?

They were right behind him

Did....they just se. something in the opposite direction and was like ‘yeah that’s fine’

Cause Geez

Rex & Cody

Ace Detectives Of Freakin None

Whelp

I thought it was just- A Signal lure Nope Was an actual bomb ... Whelp

Okay, ... Heck

How fast was fecking slim?

Because there’s no way no one noticed Bombs just sitting there ....

Like What...

Whelp

Damn Slim...

Take out the kitchen sink too?

The Usain Bolt, Of Clones

“He took out our weapons depot,”

Yeah..

One Dude

What was he eating?

Pure Sugar?

Whelp

That Sucked

He’s not trying to escape

You sure?

Pretty sure he could do both..

[Okay, that’s enough jokes about his speed, He’s a fast boi]

Make Them

You’re terrible superiors

[Like everyone is but you specifically]

“Give up Ventress,”

“ i’m all yours Obi-Wan,”

SERIOUSLY!

Whelp, Clever

“You’ve served your purpose.]

[Can the innuendos stop please?]

Also what was the plan here?

Why?

How?

How do you know that?

How do they know about that??

What??

What’s the plan, master?

He spent the entire time, flirting

Like I’m pretty convinced there was no plan

“My sweet,”

You Don’t have anything to bargain with

“Estimated”

Dude, how

You are literally in a hole

Hop

Well that was easy

Cool

“Boys”

Err-

(How old is Anakin again?)

Old enough to supposedly be groomed

(So Under...)

Ew, Just Ew

(Despite The (Adult) Dialogue...)

Friends...

Seriously

Poor Obi-wan...

Aight

“Take Control...”

Okay, I’m sorry, my heads in the gutter

(Not by choice!)

Also, Seriously?

You burned- like five things?

Sucks, not really world -ending

How did we get this guy??

Seriously?

I don’t know

Was he the test subject for some like speed serum?

Slick ran into the command center

Why?

Also he’s probably gone

(Boi is fast)

Whelp

That things tilting? How much does she-

Okay, Whatever

You’re on that

Whelp

Jumping is a good idea

Off

Aight

Prepare to march on the city

Geez

Is it that dude

Is this an origin- [I don’t like the movie; nothing can save it]

Delay the Jedi ... Yes mistress

Aight

Right

Heck is the octopus thing

He’s probably gone

Whelp

Lock Down

Aight

Shit Sun

Aight

A Bunch of bullshit but cool

I’m not the traitor you are

He’s got a point

Also, see he could totally kick his ass he did it before

He HAS A Point

Suffering

-Err

Brothers

Seriously, Weakest relation ever

Freedom

HE HAS A Point

(A Garbled One]

Bull- shit

He sustained a lot less hits than either of those two

What

Dicks

Seriously it seems mostly intentional but they really are just such dicks

(Anakin -What the frick)

HE HAS A POINT!

Bidding

Whim

[seriously why is Anakin the more...]

I love my brothers

Dick

Good For Him

Oof

Now the plans don’t really make sense

Mainly just a rushed framing device For the mystery

If you focus on that it’s pretty good

But the villain really saves it

It’s honestly heart-wrenching

You really do feel for the guy

But shit situation and all (And it is a shit situation grooming and all) That that energy should only be pointed at the abuser (And subsequent enablers) And getting out of that shit situation

For your own benefit and for others

Including your own generation (Even the enablers, Who will their dues on case by case basis) Of Accountability And Both You And They Deserve better than to live with an enabler

As for the future generation, Do it right and they’ll know all they have to be thankful for, without a word, personally

The way it should be

0 notes

nomadmanager · 6 years

Text

ACT 5: Loneliness & Liberation– A 2017 Review and 2018 Preview

Illustration: Liberation by Laura Berger

Let me pick up where I left off after Acts 1-4, where I left saying that I was on a fierce mission to move on.

From July to August, I spent a month traveling solo through Negros and Cebu, trying to re-figure out my next moves, after one option had been so definitively closed for me. I sought solace in the sea and company.

I was at a crossroads of whether give up or keep going. And with each choice, I had another set of choices to choose from.

Choice – it’s a paralyzing thing in life. Choosing between options can oftentimes make us feel stuck, not wanting to make a choice one way or another because of the fear that we would be choosing the wrong one. And so oftentimes, we postpone making the decision.

What happens then is a long drawn out limbo of being neither here nor there, and ultimately, not getting any shit done, or doing a half-assed thing at best. But the only way to move forward is to make a choice, and let go of the choice not taken.

Life is one never-ending Choose Your Own Adventure book. And sometimes, it can be pretty tiring. Can’t I just get a nice fiction book with amazing cover art, a strong heroine and happy ending? Plot twist not necessary.

Yeah, yeah, but where’s the fun in that right?

So anyway, at the beginning of my trip, I was feeling good, mildly hopeful, and generally just happy to be “away”. Though at a certain point of my trip, at a moment when I was most alone and isolated, the loneliness began to creep back in.

For a long time, even after I had gotten back, this feeling of loneliness wouldn’t leave me.

I would busy myself with work – creating MUNI Meetups on Zero Waste, doing consultancy for a social enterprise, and going on corporate speaking engagements on conscious consumption / zero waste living – as it was the only thing that reasonably gave me meaning.

I would spend time with friends – and in the past two months, probably going out and consuming more alcohol than I have in the past few years. (This is more indicative of how little I would go on a “night out” before, rather than it is an indication of how many cocktails I’ve had in November and December LOL.)

I would chat with people who would give me their time. And I would go out on a few un-horrible, although ultimately lackluster dates.

And then there were always those brief moments in the day, in between all the pseudo-busy-ness, that the cracks in the armor of strength & self-love that I was trying to forge would show.

I wish I could say that something miraculous had happened in the past six months that has both erased all the residual heartbreak and given me a eureka moment, so vivid and unquestionable, about what to do with my life and work. But no, there has not been a single moment.

However, life (and change) is a series of moments. Deliberate moments, deliberate choices that we make moment to moment. To choose myself, to choose to trust - in my own strength and abilities, in my being worthy of success and happiness, in the commitment of others to help me and love me. I knowingly gave into indulgences, but especially in this last week, I’ve also knowingly made more choices to make myself stronger for my upcoming Jesus year (turning 33 in 2018).

In my prior year-end review/previews, I would outline how I fared with the goals I had set the year before, and outline the goals I wish to make for the year moving forward.

Given though that I hadn’t clearly written my 2017 goals in a blog post like I had done so in the past, what I can do is look back, and see what I’m happy about / grateful for in the past year that proves it’s not nearly as shitty as my melodramatic self might sometimes think.

My mom’s health

Putting together some kickass MUNI Meetups on Zero Waste Living, and giving talks in corporate settings, making genuine, authentic business connections, and actually making money from them

My solo travel through the Visayas – Meeting up with my friend Mishi, Chin, the Gastons, going to Danjugan and meeting Dave, slooooooow traveling from Negros to Cebu, going to Hale Manna, meeting up with Angie – and being so inspired by the whole trip that I decided to go out on a limb and create MUNI Travels

Working out of paradise – El Nido for 6 weeks (though it felt more like hell than paradise while I was there HAHA, I am still ultimately grateful for the experience and opportunity and new friends) :)

Making an awesome new friend in Denise Subido, and our few but awesome hangs with THE Ken Alonso

Learning more about beverages (thanks Bayani Brew), cocktails and alcohol (thanks Ken), and hitting up some cool spotsss (thanks Den)

Then learning to cut back after realizing I was spending way too much time and money on that (but still happy about having better knowledge and awareness about mah dranks)

Having the resolve to give a scholarship application another shot (law of attraction, come on, mag-two years na)

Crystals (lol)

Given a review of previous year-end entries, I found it somewhat discouraging that I would put some goals out there (with the intention of holding myself more accountable by announcing it) and then not really be able to see them through. But I guess what I fail to see when I think that, is that I still managed to accomplish some of my goals, and that in failing to reach the other ones, I still made headway in the process.

Sometimes, things happen that throw us off course for a little bit, but I’m learning to stop with the self-deprecation, forgive myself, cut myself some slack, and move forward.

So, for 2018, here’s are my broader goals for public consumption so far:

Make more moneyyy – by doing more MUNI Meetups and corporate engagements – still in the works, and plans with them are still malleable so I don’t want to set specific goals (though I have a monthly figure in my head), but I’ve spent enough years running away from the serious adulting of making more money while pursuing something meaningful. It is meaningful when it is sustainable, and it is sustainable if it makes money to support itself.

Be a bad ass swimmer (NOT Olympic levels okay?? Just on a personal level bad ass) – I’ve already signed up for swim classes with Swim Academy this January, with the intention of having formal instruction and better form after over 4 years of just teaching myself how to swim. And also as a way to gear myself up to join the VIP Lobo 2.5km Open Water Swim with Swim Junkie (after being so inspired when I helped out with their swim in El Nido) – I haven’t had enough courage to sign up for the swim yet, though I tell myself it’s because I haven’t figured out accommodations and don’t want to spend too much when I stay over.

Take up masters in environmental / social psychology – One of my previous coach-confidantes told me I was overly concerned with the academic credential and I didn’t need it. But 1.5 years later, I’m still thinking about it, and I don’t want to give up without a fight? If plan A falls through, I have a plan B. Bottomline is, I want to better understand and share knowledge and research about how we can best brainwash people for their well-being and the good of the planet.

Empower others to be carry forth the MUNI mission – Been saying this for a while now, but I’ve not been able to put the structures into place, perhaps due to laziness / lack of prioritization, but perhaps also largely because I didn’t want to relinquish control as well. In light of the intention to study and do other things with MUNI, the only way for me to sustain and grow it is by really involving others. So far, I’ve still had a lack of people stepping up to the plate, but perhaps I’ve also not done a very good job of making the plate more apparent and appealing thus far. I’m hoping to put the structures in place and take a leap and grow the regular working team from just me, to me and 2 other people.

Come out of my shell / step into the light more – Maybe it’s finally the year for a vlog? LOL. I’ve already started the transition of “getting out of my shell” by getting another domain for more professional purposes, instead of always hiding behind the pseudonym Nomad Manager (though everyone knows it’s really me anyway) since 2009. I’ve also changed my name in my major social media accounts, changing them from nomadmanager to jenhorn_ or whatever other iteration of my real name was still available on the platform. Though it’s annoying that I won’t have a straight up jenhorn across all platforms, I’ve found it pleasantly liberating to embrace myself more fully in this way. Besides, what does Nomad Manager mean to me now anyway? Even though I like my freedom, a “nomad” (to me, now vs. how I meant it before) indicates homelessness / lostness, and I want more foundation and certainty in my life now. And I want to feel “home” wherever I am, in that I know what the hell I’m doing vs. aimlessly meandering about. And “manager”, honestly, I don’t want to manage people. I want to maybe encourage, facilitate learning, coach, share insights, inspire, brainwash, but I don’t want to manage people.

“There is love in holding, and there is love in letting go.” – Elizabeth Berg

So, I guess that also means this may be my last real blog post here as I move on with a new chapter. (Though I’m still thinking about what I’ll do with my Letters to Self tradition here, and what content I’m comfortable sharing in my new domain.)

And again, life, you think you’re funny sometimes and like to throw curveballs from nowhere and mess up my plans. But I’ll make do. I’ll play what you’ll deal. So, up yours if you think you’ll completely throw me off. I may have to adjust, change and pivot, but I’ll keep on keeping on.

To brighter days ahead, Jen

#nomadmanager #reviewpreview #muni #loneliness #liberation #act5

0 notes