#do i know him personally? no but i've known him the past 4-5 years to know he's not a bad guy
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You know, for all the drama the W*W community gets itself embroiled in, I’m glad - in a way - the only controversy I caused was pissing off the Sylv*ina community and bringing their wrath down on my head by making that crit - not hate - post and bringing up the succession crisis regardless of how in good faith asking that question was. Was I sort of happy about the response? Kind of, but really I was bummed out - and blindsided - by the reaction it caused; I never intended to anger and shock that many people (I still remember a comment someone made in another person’s post that, last I checked, got 100+ notes on “hey, look at this person writing up several paragraphs’ worth of a ship she doesn’t care about“ and another that read “it’s like stopping to look into the window of a restaurant you’re passing on the street and deciding on the spot you hate the food that’s inside” - and this isn’t a call-out or meant to rag on that person, it’s just something that stuck with me).
I still feel bad about making that post to this day; it’s long since been deleted (although you’ll certainly find my response on that other person’s post if you look back far enough) but with the knowledge I have now I would not have made it. I even considered writing a Sylv*ina fic as a sort of olive branch to the community for angering them so viscerally. But then I remembered thinking to myself I’d probably get bullied for trying to make amends or shit on even more and decided it wasn’t worth the hassle; if there was any ragging about it on Twitter as there was here on Tumblr, I’d understand, I deserved that. I can think of a couple certain big-name WLW writers that like that ship that certainly wouldn’t be too happy seeing my name plastered with that ship tag; I’m not always nice to the girls I write about let alone always talk nicely about them. And, you know, that’s fair.
Honestly that was the first instance where I sat back and thought ‘you know, maybe I oughta step away from the fandom’ because the whole point about shipping is having fun with stuff that doesn’t even make sense, and who’s going to want to have someone around that doesn’t like 99% of W*W’s ships? But the W*W fandom has always been volatile, and a lot of other things non-ship related happened that finally got me to back off from it, but. Yeah. I still think about this now and again. And I think it’s for the best to just keep my distance and do my own thing (and I know I’ve said this a lot in the past, but it’s true).
Not going to tag this for obvious reasons, but mainly because I have a certain streamer friend that’s notable in the community who is going through a very rough patch (if you know you know, but I’ll leave it at that) and it got me thinking about the aforementioned bit the past couple of days. That’s all.
#armi rambles#idk it's been a very weird feeling going through twitter & seeing ppl just going off on my friend#do i know him personally? no but i've known him the past 4-5 years to know he's not a bad guy#but i know if i step in there and try to defend him i WILL get slaughtered by those ppl#it made me think 'so ig ppl can't make amends for the mistakes they made huh'#& so i stayed my tongue b/c really it's not worth the war it'll probably start#or worse case get harassed by the followers of other big-name w*w tweeters#watching this play out in real time this past week has been...something#but it got me thinking too#social media can be such a boon but it's shown me how terrifying it can be#i just hope that my friend - and the other parties involved in this - will be alright in the end#i can at least say in a way i'm glad i never got 'big'#b/c that amount of level of scrutiny he's been getting?#what amount i got made me feel like shit#so the backlash he's been receiving as of late would wreck me hardcore#just my two cents and food for thought - i doubt ppl will read this post
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Cheng Xiaoshi always dives blind.
He knows his instructions: deliver the message, find the secret, change nothing. He may even have a rough time frame for when the information can be found. Still, Cheng Xiaoshi never knows what's coming.
But Lu Guang knows. (Spoilers through s2 ep 9 + ep 10 preview)
EDIT: this is a slightly outdated mid S2 analysis. It’s not a terrible read but - my thoughts are always evolving with new info and greater understanding. So if you’ve finished S2, I’ve got a better take :)
Buckle up. Long post. This knowledge has pestered me for two years. Since Emma. I've found ways to chalk it up. Lu Guang just scans the photos, and doesn't see details until they happen; or Lu Guang thinks this will ensure past remains untouched; or Lu Guang is doing this to protect Cheng Xiaoshi.
I've also chalked it up, predominately, to story telling. What fun would there be if Cheng Xiaoshi knew what was going to happen? There would be no surprises! Boooooriiiiiing.
I'm not satisfied with that.
You know, each time Lu Guang withholds information, I find a way to forgive him. That is to say, I feel distrust; a need to forgive him that Cheng Xiaoshi never seems to let linger because of his unyielding faith in Lu Guang.
There are many moments where, if Lu Guang had just told Cheng Xiaoshi what was coming, he could have prevented discomfort and pain.
Exhibit A: Emma.
Instead of telling Cheng Xiaoshi that the situation is going to be okay, that nothing will happen, that her mom is going to call and interrupt. Lu Guang tells him to basically get on with it and then proceeds to lecture him in typical fashion.
"What a great personality," we think sarcastically, having known him for all of 5 minutes.
The scene is played off comically, because what else can Cheng Xiaoshi do? But he's visibly flustered on rescue, and I don't think that has to do with feeling Emma's emotions.
Okay, you say that this is how the writers are narrating the rules. Driving into our heads that the past cannot be changed. Yeah. You're right. How convenient for the writers.
That is not the only moment in this episode where Lu Guang essentially just tells Cheng Xiaoshi to be patient or ignore it instead of giving him the information he needs, but this post will be long enough. And again, we can chalk all those moments up to Lu Guang thinking he knows best (and being wrong).
Episodes 2 and 3 are tame. There are no surprises in the narrative except Cheng Xiaoshi's own mistakes, which cause Lu Guang to be sightless. Nothing to hide until episode 4.
The Earthquake:
Lu Guang makes the call to not tell Cheng Xiaoshi about the earthquake. Gods, I wouldn't either, spare him that pain. But that kindness backfires spectacularly, and the pain dealt is greater than the pain spared.
Does Lu Guang learn a lesson here? He's so careful with Xiaoshi, keeping his distance and not pushing him to do anything he doesn't want.
The next photograph is for DouDou. It's a surveillance footage and Lu Guang's knowledge is limited. Nothing can be done about the mess up. But the next dive is into Doudou. Cheng Xiaoshi smells the ball and looses consciousness. At the start of the photograph, Lu Guang says. "But the whole time, I was unable to get a good look at the human trafficker's face, as well as how she took DouDou away." He warns Cheng Xiaoshi to be careful, and when the ball rolls he declares, "It's here!" before falling silent. He doesn't warn Cheng Xiaoshi about the ball until it's already too late.
Chalk it up. After all we don't know what exactly it is Lu Guang can see in the photograph. Just that he can see 12 hours into it. Maybe he couldn't deduce sniffing the ball would lead to DouDou's abduction? That's reasonable. But how could he miss the ball entirely? Why not warn Cheng Xiaoshi in more detail? Even if Doudou needs to be taken, doesn't Lu Guang trust Cheng Xiaoshi to act? I'm left scratching my head.
For the rest of the season, the lead is predominately taken by Cheng Xiaoshi. Lu Guang is there, but he lets Cheng Xiaoshi have this. He trusts. And for the first time before diving, he warns. Before diving, he warns that Xu Shanshan may not be alive. But he doesn't know the future. And the decision to dive is Cheng Xiaoshi's to make.
Li Tianxi's photo.
Lu Guang hides the photo. He say's he can't see all the details due to his condition. I'll believe that. Flash back to Lu Guang looking at his phone, like he's trying his power on other, familiar, photographs (before deleting them, I guess, but.....didn't they already do that? Is he trying photos of the present?)
Of course he doesn't tell anyone about the photo. He wants to protect Cheng Xiaoshi. He can't see what it is they'd be diving into.
Of course this is no big deal to Cheng Xiaoshi, because Lu Guang himself has ensured that Cheng Xiaoshi will be a pro at diving blind.
Cheng Xiaoshi makes the call and, by god, if Lu Guang doesn't look exhausted when he agrees.
Lu Guang doesn't even warn him that Li Tianxi is mute. Right out of the gate. Is that really how little he could see? Okay. So we operate with the assumption that, right now, Lu Guang cannot see far in advance. Cheng Xiaoshi stresses, did he mess up? Isn't this a big deal? Lu Guang assures him that he can still see where the are going. Doesn't say where. Okay. That just means the future isn't dark. Lu Guang really can't see ahead right now. That's reasonable. And so we let the rest of the dive go... watching in horror at the events that unfold. Lu Guang apologizing to Cheng Xiaoshi in the photo. That if he could have seen, he wouldn't have let him dive.
Here's the thing. Two(?) nights prior, Lu Guang shows off a pretty bad ass skill. He sees into the security footage of the WHOLE DAMN HOSPITAL. How is that easier, soon after surgery mind you, than quickly scanning the photograph for even a hint of what might happen? (Or maybe Lu Guang can only scan the photograph once, before diving in. And he really couldn't see in that moment with a freshly opened stab wound. Apparently that's my new "chalk it up" theory, as of just now.) Remember, Cheng Xiaoshi doesn't know Lu Guang did that. He thinks Lu Guang was guiding them using live security footage, not becoming the eyes of the whole damn hospital.
When it comes to any present moment between them, Lu Guang is quick to give advice, nagging after Cheng Xiaoshi's behavior like a mother hen. But giving advice about the future? He doesn't do that. Maybe he can't do that.
Maybe no matter how badly Lu Guang wants to shout the future loud and clear, he is being prevented. Maybe it's a rule bound to his power. Maybe it's a rule bound to this "game."
Episode 10 preview. We want answers. We suspect Lu Guang has them. But guess what?
His lips are sealed. Literally.
#This is not a Lu Guang hate post#I love him#时光代理人#this is a Lu Guang defense post#link click#shiguang dailiren#shiguang#link click spoilers#my lc theories
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My top 5 Snape fics!
I wanted to share some of my Snape fics in the hopes that you will share yours with me in the comments or in your own posts. These are my personal favorites that I go back to reread the most. I have my own favorite tropes, so these are all somewhat angsty, hurt/comfort, and you might notice Snape gets bathed in several of these lol. Warning, these fics contain sexual content and are NOT appropriate for all ages.
5. Contempt, by Danpuff (2022)
Snarry
I don't normally like Snarry but this blew me away. This is the best enemies to lover fic I've ever read. The line between hate and love is thin my friends.
Excerpt:
The black and the white material hang open around Snape's thin frame. He's not beautiful anywhere, is he? Pasty skin with marks of discoloration. Old, faded scars. Wiry black hair. Concave chest, prominent ribs, soft belly. Harry feasts his eyes on the ghastly sight and trails reverent fingers down. Down over flat brown nipples and a long raised scar. Over a patch of rough, brown skin. Over coarse black curls. His skin is warmer than Harry expected.
4. The Underground, by me, Chiwi_la_Capybara (2023)
HG/SS
This is a shameless plug of my own fic. But it is one of my favorites.
Excerpt:
Snape licked his lips, looked up at her from beneath heavy eyelids. She looked carefully back at him, at the double wrinkle at the corner of each eye, and the purple semicircles that ringed his lower lids. The long thick black eyelashes gave his eyes a melancholy cast.
There was a certain magnetism about him. She lifted up the blanket and drew close to him, laid his head on her shoulder and anchored him to her. The warmth of his body against hers felt as close to sex as anything she had known in the past five years. He blinked at her sleepily, and his black eyes were two moons. Snape slept with his face pressed into the crook of her neck, his warm breath sputtering over her throat.
3. Traumlieder, by Rexluscus (2011)
Snape/Luna Warning, Luna is underage in this fic and there's dubious consent on both sides. This one's very smutty. Take this warning v seriously.
Snape being bewildered by Luna is such a joy. Rexluscus is an incredibly writer. They have this tone that's kind of sarcastic, kind of loving, and real perverse all at once.
Excerpt:
Snape dreamed of a creature. It had yellow hair and smelled like a cherry orchard, and it spoke with a voice both exotic and deeply, achingly familiar. Its hands were as delicate and fragile as a doll's, but its skin was warm and velvety as it tickled him below his navel. It was petting him, quieting him, and he was drifting into lassitude—all except for the exquisitely urgent want in his groin. The creature seemed aware of that; it was touching him there now, shocking like the touch of a naked flame, and as ecstasy radiated from his middle and flooded out the pain in his limbs he only now recognised by its absence... A warm breeze tickled his bare skin, and the creature laughed. He thought he could see its eyes somewhere far above him, round and lambent, like watery planets setting in a warm twilight.
2. Exaltation, by Eldritcher (2022)
Dudley/Snape.
I know Dudley and Snape sounds ick but trust me, its strange and wonderful. Only Eldritcher could have pulled this one off. Eldritcher once told me their writing has been influenced by the Greek poet Ovid, and you can tell.
Excerpt:
Harry was not taught to swim. Snape betrays the tell-tale signs of a man who has never learned to swim. Like Harry, Snape does not have fat on his bones to lift him up easy. He steps into the water, because Dudley asks him to. Dudley holds him by the waist, steadying him until he finds his level. Snape is pale, paler than the primroses closing and curling up for the night. It is all Dudley can do to refrain from catching the trembling bony shoulders to massage back the blood into circulation.
1. Self-Slain Gods on Strange Altars, Scumblackentropy (2013)\
SS/HG Warnings for an underage/student Hermione.
This is the fic that really got me into this fandom back when I was a teen. The writing is uneven, but Snape feels so real in this story.
Excerpt:
What, what, what?she asks herself as she slowly, slowly, slowly lets her palm flatten against his damp robes and slowly, slowly, slowly stands on tiptoe. His head pulls back as he tries to hold eye contact, but she never tries to look away. She vaguely registers that he has a long throat. Long. Muscled. Pale.
“You’re wrong.”
How?she asks herself as a strangled, indignant aching noise comes out of his mouth and she slowly, slowly, slowly presses herself into him, and his eyes widen in that way that breaks her heart, and she feels his blood-soaked body hard-angled and warm against hers, and she thinks that maybe she can forgive him.
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Sun and Moon show incorrect quotes 2.
1.Lunar: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Lunar: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.
Sun: Socks are Feetie Heaties.
Moon: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.
Bloodmoon: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.
Earth: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.
Eclipse: I hate you guys so much.
2.Ruin: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.
3.Eclipse: sighs I have no friends…
Ruin:
Ruin: coughs Bitch, what am I? A roach?!
4.Ruin: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?
Moon: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!
Ruin: Mean.
5.Lunar: What does “take out” mean?
Moon: Food.
Sun: Dating.
Eclipse: Murder.
Bloodmoon: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.
6.Bloodmoon: Lunar, my old friend!
Lunar: I think you tried to kill me at some point.
Bloodmoon: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.
7.Bloodmoon: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.
Sun: Please never become a surgeon.
8.Eclipse: Can you come out?
Ruin: Yeah gimme a minute…
Ruin: Eclipse, I’m gay.
Eclipse: I know that. Come out to the car.
Ruin: Okay.
Ruin: Car, I’m gay.
9.Eclipse: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Lunar: 'Prettiest Smile'
Earth: 'Nicest Personality'
Bloodmoon: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Ruin: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
10.Eclipse: writing a letter
Eclipse: Dear Santa,
I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty…
And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.
11.Bloodmoon: I have a plan.
Sun: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.
Bloodmoon: …
Sun: …
Bloodmoon: I no longer have a plan.
12.Bloodmoon, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.
Moon, entering the room with a small cut on his ankle: Who the f-
13.Eclipse, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!
14.Sun: Where is everyone?
Moon: Lunar had a nervous collapse, Earth is looking after him, Bloodmoon is trying to kill Eclipse, so I’m in charge.
Sun: Oh my god!
Moon: I know, right?
15.Eclipse: Something tells me Bloodmoon's going to be a bit more unhinged today…
Bloodmoon, holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos: Leave me be, Ruin isn't home to stop me, I'm going feral.
16.Ruin: If you aren't someone the church wanted dead 300 years ago, are you really living?
17.Sun: Father, I have sinned.
Ruin: Daddy, I’ve been naughty.
18.Moon: How late were you up last night?
Bloodmoon & Ruin, in tandem: Me?
Moon: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.
Moon, to Lunar: You.
19.Sun: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?
Eclipse: Take them!
Moon: Punch them in the neck!
Ruin: Say thank you!
Bloodmoon: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!
Sun: …
Sun: No.
20.the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups Sun, Earth, and Lunar: spinning a little and talking
Bloodmoon, Eclipse, and Ruin: flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming
#Fnaf#sun and moon show#Sundrop#Moondrop#sams lunar#sams eclipse#sams earth#sams bloodmoon#sams ruin#incorrect quotes
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Wade/Nancy is an artist who's been surrounded by negative opinions. She currently works under the username Grisgrisdoll, but she's widely known as the name that haunts her past, Kastoway.
I've seen many, many accusations being thrown online against this artist, but I noticed that for many people spreading them this knowledge is secondhand. I found her Deviantart account some time after she changed her username to Kastoway in the beginning of 2014 due to my hyperfixation on creepypastas at the time. I never actually followed her, but I visited her account every now and then, so if I missed something important, it was because of that and I will be glad if you tell me. In this post, I'll list the incidents in chronological order *with evidence* and then give my own opinion at the end.
One thing to know about Wade is that she has had many different names and usernames throughout her life. In addition, she is comfortable with people using either "she", "he" or "they" to refer to her. I'll be alternating the pronouns and using both her names.
He was 13 when she created Ticci Toby [1]. He posted her first drawing of him on the 19th of November 2012 on DeviantArt [2] and Toby's origin story one year later on the 23rd of May 2013 [3]. Wade changed the personality of Toby to make him less upbeat, more tragic and more scary. One of the first instances where he showed discomfort with how people portrayed Toby that I remember was in a publication she posted on the last day of 2013 [4]. This situation ended up with a small redesign of Toby on 5th of February 2014 [5].
She took a short break from DeviantArt around July [6]. It was this year when her creepypasta blew up out of proportion. Previously, she had expressed her desire for Toby to only be shipped with another creepypasta character called Clockwork. However, many people didn't like Clockwork and didn't respect this wish, leading her to further getting tired of the creepypasta community. By october of the same year, her Deviantart bio said: "Most people know me as the creator of the creepypasta story "Ticci-Toby"-- which yes I am, but I prefer not to be constantly called out for it nor only recognized or appreciated for it. I do not contribute to the creepypasta fandom anymore so please don't ask me about it. Thank you" [7].
One issue that is frequently overlooked when discussing Wade's actions is her problem with impersonators, as she stated on a status in November [8].
On 14th of December 2014 he made a post trying to solve all the turmoil that had formed because of shipping [9]. He stated that he had asked people not to ship Toby with anyone but Clockwork because that was what he was comfortable with, but he realized that decision was pointless and didn't care at this point. The situation had gone out of control and there were people bashing creators who shipped Toby with others or with their own characters. He apologized to the hurt and asked people to stop the white knighting. In addition, he recognized "I wasn't prepared for my character to become popular on the internet. I really wasn't. I never thought it would happen and I'm still not good at dealing with it. In fact I suck at it, it's true". He was 15 at the moment.
In 2015, they got into Marvel, even having a tumblr blog where she drew Deadpool replying the asks of her followers. At the end of their bio, it could be read: "I will not reply to notes or comments regarding Ticci-Toby or anything Creepypasta related, sorry." [10]. This message was deleted months later, so their profile didn't mention Toby or creepypasta anymore. They kept the folder for her creepypasta drawings in their gallery tagged as "old".
In April 2016, he had to warn the general public that Toby wasn't real and that he was his creator [11]. People had been spreading misinformation, saying that Toby was real or was based on a real person. Wade feared that something like the tragedy of Wisconsin could happen again, it was a serious concern.
In May, Nancy made a post saying that people could still ask her about Toby [12], but later in June that year, she decided to step off the internet with the purpose of trying to improve her life, archiving the majority of her work [13]. Later in 2017, she updated her bio to let people know about her new instagram account where she mostly posts original art. It was at this point when I stopped checking her content completely, as this account, called bonejars at the beginning, was private for a while. She hasn't been very active on DeviantArt apart from the times she announced her podcast.
On the porch: Episode 2, 16 April 2020, started a wave of negativity against them. I didn't watch it at the time and it is now private so I can't say much about it, but they did some clarifications on her instagram stories later. Many users took screenshots of them and they can still be read [14]. In them, Nancy says that they came to terms many years ago with the ships, that they left the fandom because all of the drama made them miserable and that they'd wish Toby to no longer be associated with the creepypasta fandom. Despite this, they don't want people to stop doing what makes them happy, they said they're ok with headcanons and people reinterpreting the character, that they like the fanart as long as people don't profit from it. They said "I know what escapism is like and using fiction to cope with life. I would never wanna take that away from anybody". Later, they had to make further clarifications because people accused them of wanting to take Toby away from the fandom.
On 25 abril 2021, Nancy posted a new redesign of Toby on his Instagram account [15]. This version of him was significantly different from the last one. The character is older, wears different clothes and looks more realistic due to Nancy's art style development. With this design, he looks like a character from a slasher.
Many people weren't pleased with the redesign due to thinking the reason for it was to invalidate the previous one. Consequently, they brought to the surface controversies from the past. Nancy was accused of having supported two controversial figures in the creepypasta community: Laughing Jack's creator Steve Aikins (Snuffbomb) and Sally Williams' creator Shilo (la_mishi_mish).
Steve presumably harassed his ex-girlfriend and talked indecently with several young girls back in 2014 [16]. I haven't found evidence of Wade supporting him and I can't remember exactly what she said. If someone has screenshots of it, I would be grateful.
Shilo used to draw NSFW art of Sally [17]. This character is canonically 8, so she usually aged her up in this kind of content. However, she posted a compilation of sketches depicting Sally and Jeff the Killer having sex in 2015, stating it was ok for them to have intercouse because they were both 13. Shilo was 22 at the time. Several sources indicate that she stopped drawing mature content due to social pressure. Nancy and Shilo follow each other on instagram to this day.
There haven't been more references to Toby on Nancy's part since then.
◇ Ok people, get the pitchforks because now I'm gonna give my opinion!
So, what can we accuse Wade of? Of being an idiot and a hypocrite when he was a teenager, of having bad companies and managing fame poorly. I don't think we can blame them for anything else and feel that a big part of the hate they receive is undeserved.
I think she was a hypocrite because she got angry with an interpretation of Toby that she had at the beginning. What's more, Toby's story uses an interpretation of Slenderman that was invented by the fandom, proxies are not canon. It's like a fanfic of a series inspired by just a couple of photos.
Still following Shilo is yikes. However, we don't really know if they're still close and I'm personally gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. Defending Steve was a bad move, but, as some people have pointed out before, he was a teen when that happened, way younger than Steve and she could have been convinced to think he was innocent. Shilo is older too.
Being that young, she wasn't prepared for facing the bad sides of fame. Ignoring stuff, going radio silent and then saying things in the heat of the moment didn't help her a bit, but it was all that occurred to her at the time. She's tried to explain things in more detail in recent years just to go back to saying as little as possible because at this point, people get angry for whatever she says.
People say they're homophobic. Their instagram account refutes it.
People say he was mean and insulted the fandom. I remember reading a couple of statuses on DA that I thought were insensitive, but that was a long time ago. People grow and he's changed his mind a lot as you can read in his instagram stories. If you say these things referring to the post where he told people Toby wasn't real, I'm sorry, but I think he had all the right to be harsh. People said Slenderman was real, it ended up in a tragedy and now the same things were being said about Toby. Can you imagine how it's to feel you're responsible for someone's death? He was trying to protect people.
People say she went after artists that portrayed Toby in a different way than hers, yet every time she's said something that ended up hurting people, she took responsibility and apologized for it. I don't believe this person could go and directly hurt someone. Remember what I said before about her issues with impersonators and people white knighting? That could be what's happening. Even now she has problems with people pretending they know her, so be careful!
People say they have abandoned the character many times. It's true they've said they didn't want to talk about Toby on four different occasions, but I don't think they did it with that intention. Why did they redesign him then? The design we all know is inevitably tied to the creepypasta community and they want to move on from it, that's why they didn't want to talk about him. Now they made a version of the character that isn't tied to that world, so we have two Tobies, one for them and one for us. I think that's cool!
Many don't like that they can't use the old version to earn money, but I want them to understand that this is a really particular situation. Usually, people making commissions of characters that aren't theirs isn't a problem when the creator is getting money on their own (unless you're Disney, Disney has no chill). This isn't Wade's case, she has never been monetary compensated for creating or drawing Toby and she has the right of choosing not to allow the commercial use of her characters. "Give for free what you were given for free" is a rule that makes sense in this case.
I don't expect anyone to stop disliking Wade, you're free to feel whatever you want, but at least I hope that this post helps people to see that all of this is more dimensional than just "kastoway is evil". At the end of the day, she's just a dude that fucked up many times and I think her experiences can help us to not commit the same errors.
◇ Here you have all the evidence
[1] Wade's age (look at the replies)
[2] First art of Toby
[3] Toby's Origin on Kastoway's DA
[4] Post where Wade complains about the difference between fanon and canon Toby
[5] Updated Toby design
[6] Wade's DA on hiatus
[7] Wade saying he doesn't want to be known just for creating Toby
[8] Wade complaining about impersonators
[9, 11] Nancy clarifying the issues with shipping and people saying Toby was real (look at section "Kastoway and his creation")
[10] Nancy saying he won't reply asks about Toby
[12] Nancy apologizing and saying ask about Toby are welcomed
[13] Nancy announcing her departure
[14] Nancy's deleted instagram stories
[15] Toby's new design
[16] About Laughing Jack's creator
[17] About Sally's Creator
#very long post#4 pages long#kastoway#ticci toby#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta characters#creepypastas#deep dive
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Here it is. The Mike Wheeler Playlist Post.
So I finished it. What seems to be the end of season 4, at least. I am avoiding spoilers for myself. All 28 songs from Smalltown Boy to Mad World. Here is what I have deduced:
Mike got over El after she left and started liking Will, but when she came back, he got with her motivated by the grief of “what could have been” but once they got together he felt that the relationship was aimless, only staying because it was familiar. He pursued getting back together with her because he didn’t want to lose her, despite feeling that the spark wasn’t there anymore. His fight with Will makes him question their relationship again but he ultimately doesn’t believe Will reciprocates and regrets even going back down that path. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do when Will moves. He can’t get Will out of his head and, though secrecy is the only safe thing, he’s getting worn down with it and is increasingly considering taking action in his relationship with El because his feelings for Will make him happy and don’t seem to be going anywhere. He’s getting anxious as it gets closer but Will talking to him in the van gives him a lot of security, but then the moment comes and he lies and feels absolutely horrible about it. He feels like he’s just running in circles. More inaction. Over a year now of just inaction.
There are 19 songs left which feels like a lot for one season as I've said before but in defense of that on top of just the consistent alignment with plot points in the playlist this far, season 5 is going to go back in and reveal a lot of this stuff with some very complicated emotions and much more focus on him, his feelings, his trauma, and his overall relationship with Will. So there IS a lot there to fill songs with. If you would like to read my original semi-chaotic notes from the past 5 hours(you read that correctly. You're welcome. And yes I know the full playlist I didn't even finish is only 3.5 hours) listed by song and including bits I skipped over so that it wouldn't be horribly long, lyric quotes, and one link to a cover analysis, you can do so under the cut.
Scared closeted gay kid in a smalltown in the 80s (confirmed by the songwriter, widely known in this fandom)
He sees Will everywhere.
This girl’s really cool and knows about things I don’t
Alien abduction - ET Parallels.
This song is an instrumental but the title “In The Face of Evil” is self-explanatory
El heroically sacrificed herself for everyone. She is a hero because she is the type of person to make that choice.*sweet that his love isn't hero worship, that's just how he conveys it.
He’s haunted by the memories of El, seeing her face everywhere.
Over time, “absence makes the heart lose weight” and his feelings for her fade
He’s starting to experience a new and scarily tempting, intoxicating kind of love. (based on context…for Will)
This song is an instrumental but the title is “Beta Girl Lost in Forever”. There is a great cover art analysis by @digestionsack at #20 of the post linked here but I could not find anything on the original meaning of the song or album. I couldn't find like anything else on Google of this one's meaning there were under 300 results when I searched in quotes.
This song is a duet that looks back on the relationship of a boy who helped lift up a girl from a very low and helpless place but the girl is now gone and he wants her to need him again and a girl who always had ambitions not dependent on him from the start and appreciated the time they spent together but needed independence now.
He feels an uncontrollable love that’s taking all his focus that he “can’t shake” but “makes [him] feel so blue” (for Will given the last love song)*this is to say nothing of his self awareness. (though could have convinced himself he got over it as opposed to never having known? *consistent with the s3 fight words)
A song about teenage love. Kinda horny.*He's in love and a little bit horny in the season checks notes...without El?
It’s “Ghostbusters”. It makes sense in a literal context but for the record this song is actually very 80s-under the radar-horny like “Barbie Girl”. Probably literal in this case but I’m sure the Duffers know about the second meaning and so maybe it shouldn’t be put right after Teenage Kicks if they aren’t trying to make me at least consider the possibility that they’re meaning to say Mike is jerking off to Will, possibly while he’s possessed. I didn’t need that, Pete Duffer. (Although 13-year-old boys definitely do. I remember the back of the bus conversations on middle school jazz band trips. I'm all for openness and sex education but I know too much about your masturbatory habits, Ben.)
El comes back and he reflects on how their relationship ended so suddenly and she branched out into independence but now that she’s back he’s not gonna let her get away again.*seems like he wants to fix the past vs take action in the present. What could have been. Acting on behalf of his past self.
Their relationship feels aimless to him, but he stays because it’s familiar. “I’ll carry on with what I know”.*her dumping HIM was an important push for him.
Making mistakes is human and a natural part of relationships. He stays in the relationship despite the spark dying out of a larger, more general love for her and because he doesn’t want to lose her. “If not so in love, it’s not so wrong, we’re only human after all.”*feeling an obligation to get her back because while not dating, she's gone completely (at first)?
He left Will/his feelings for him behind but he’s reminded of them by their fight (“little deals and S.U’s”) and he questions the nature of their relationship again but he doesn’t think that it means to Will what it means to him. “A sly touch at times; I don’t think it meant anything to you”. He regrets even going down that road again. “And I should never have tried”.
He’s going to miss them when they move, seeming to specify Will with “seven years went under the bridge”. He doesn’t know what to do without him now.*this song might sort of also explain why he didn't call if he didn't but it's not sure and there are no other songs about it, so he still could have called("if you leave don't look back, I'll be running the other way" but not every lyric has to apply and it could mean something else)
He’s now set/stuck in his desire for Will and can’t get him out of his head. (I considered an angle of this being for El, but the constant thinking about the lover + the interpretation of unreciprocated a love/a pursuit didn’t fit)*one of the interpretations I read also said they think it's about a gay guy which is a great addition, though not an "official" interpretation.
He feels safest in isolation/secrecy (car=closet?) “It’s the only way to live” but he’s wearing down and feeling lonely/alone in this state so he’s starting to consider “leaving” it.
He definitely still has feelings for Will that don’t seem to be going anywhere. They’re kinda…baffling “You got me so I don’t know what I’m doing”. He’s losing sleep over them. But…he’s not mad at it “don’t ever set me free”.
He criticizes himself for his inaction and starts to seriously think about making decisions for himself.
He’s in love. (very simple lyrics: “I saw your eyes, and for a little while/though it took a while, I was falling in love” repeatedly with minor variation)
He’s worn and broken down but still wants love. He’s holding onto Will in the chaos of his mind and the world and trying to keep out of preying eyes. Also it is apparently written as tribute to Stranger Things after season 1, which is cute. “Just stay close” “You can’t stop this feeling.” “They won’t pull us down”. This song is also called “Vale of Shadows”.
Instrumental Synth called “Dead of Night”
He’s full of uncertainty as seeing El gets closer but Will talking to him in the van comforts him and gives him more security; Will’s love makes it all better. “And she pulling the strings” definitely fits this idea of the situation with Will (especially if he is aware)
He feels horrible about lying to El (The song is “Mad World”). He feels like he’s just “run[ning] in circles”.
Notable lyrics:
[pre-season 2-season 2]
When Love Breaks Down "Absence makes the heart lose weight yeah, til love breaks down, til love breaks down" "When love breaks down, the things you do to stop the truth from hurting you. When love breaks down, the lies we tell, they only serve to fool ourselves." I really thought it would say “grow fonder”, which fit and was cute and I was fine with, but nope. And my jaw went slack and it made me want to write this whole thing.
Love is a Stranger "Love is a stranger in an open car to tempt you in and drive you far away." "Love is a dangerous drug. You have to receive it and you still can't get enough of the stuff." "Comes in like the flood and it seems like religion" "And I want you so, it's an obsession. It's guilt edged."
[season 3]
Something About You “If not so in love, it’s not so wrong. We’re only human, after all.”
Are ‘Friends’ Electric “A sly touch at times. I don’t think it meant anything to you.” “And I never should have tried.” “For you see, it meant everything to me.”
[season 4, volume 2]
Mad World “When people run in circles, it’s a very, very mad world.”
#mike wheeler sexuality analysis#my life#for that one gory detail about jazz band#byler#stranger things#haven't done a full show one of these in a while#i used to do them like every other night in 2022
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Elvis Birthday Reading - 01.08.23
disclaimer: my spirituality/religion is not something i talk about often on my blog (since obviously it's not about that) but since it was the king's bday i felt compelled to do a tarot/oracle reading with/for him - for reference, i've been reading for 5 years & work with spirits often.
if this does not align with your religious views & beliefs please just scroll past this - i am not interested in engaging in a religious dispute - i respect yours, please respect mine.
while clairvoyance is the most known "psychic ability" it is not one i have - i have what is called "claircognizance" or "clairsentience" - for anyone who doesn't know the definition of those are:
"The psychic ability for a person to acquire knowledge by means of feeling and without knowing how or why they knew it."
for this reading i did not use any of the guidebooks and am sharing only the emotions/feelings/messages i received - i didn't ask any specific questions, i just asked for a general energy about his birthday, basically whatever needed/wanted to come up
The first card I pulled was from my Rock and Roll deck and got the Knight of Wands (or 'Rods' in this deck)
Immediately I had to chuckle because of course he would pick this card to be the center of the spread and set the tone for it. I think it truly embodies so many traits of him -
Dynamo - Passionate - Charming - Cocky
We know our boy was exactly that - a dynamo - this enigmatic ball of light, hope, love - full of passion for what he did, the music he made, for his fans, his movies, life in general. And charming, of course we know he could charm anyone that crossed his path.
Next cards i got were thinker and higher power - these cards for me were the most hazy to read. though something clear was on Thinker the number is 44 - obviously half of 88
Thinker: This came through a little bit sad. The message i got was that he had so much in his head - both positive & negative - his head full of ideas, passion & thought for his music and obviously heavily talking about the overwhelmed with all of the things he couldn't control, being paranoid/suspicious of everyone in his life
Higher Power also came with a 4 which was interesting (thus making 444). What i got from this was a sort of nod to what I was doing and that he enjoys interacting with us in tiny ways. - this also felt like it was also a sort of push to say that he enjoys us reaching out to him (making little shrines or talking to him, etc)
these were so cheeky in the saddest way lol
Confidence: this one was quite light, the sunglasses are obviously a lil cheeky sign - for this i read very much *for us* - this was a sentiment i got a lot with some of these cards - that he wants us to learn from him - from the way he lived his life and carried himself.
Frustration: This was probably the saddest card i pulled, the moment i flipped it over i immediately got a deep wash of saddness. The overwhelming feeling i got from this was that he's frustrated he can't experience life today, that he didn't get the chance to live out his days and be here with us while a whole new generation of fans fall in love with him. I got the feeling that he was sad that he can't give us any new music/concerts/etc. for new fans. Or that he doesn't get to experience making music/performing with newer technology.
(while the feeling was sad i was pointed out the imagery of the hole w the pillar 🙄 take that how you will lmao we been knew his sense of humor)
a lot of the cards i pulled from this deck came up with a lot of double meanings - these first two also came with heavy and somber emotions :/
Adversity: This is another card i felt strong "for us" energy - to look at what he went through and the challenges he persevered through and to learn from it. That we can also conquer challenges learn & grow from them. I also got a sort of "it's okay, i'm okay" like to not pity???? i guess??? the things he went through, that he went through them and handled them and kinda "it is what it is" - i guess celebrate more his successes than feel bad for the unfortunate parts of his story. kinda like he's made peace with them? at least to an extent.
Loneliness: God this was punch in the gut and I immediately started crying. (I was also listening to "are you lonesome tonight" 🥲 at the time) - this was another card with such an unbelievable heaviness. I got the sense that he's lonely but not in the sense of being alone wherever he is but lonely tying back into the earlier frustration card. Like he wants to physically be here with us.
Another message I got from this was that he doesn't want US to feel lonely - that he is with us all the time, in many ways. And that he is there for us whenever we are alone - that we are never alone. (Both with him but also with each other - I got that VERY loud - that he's happy we are not alone because we have each other).
These kinda all came out at once and all had small messages
Doubt: I got that he doesn't want us to doubt his presence when we feel it, that it IS him (for small little signs) - i did get a loud message that to be careful in more advanced interactions, i got the message that there could be other energies that could mask as him if you are not experienced and always use protective practices.
I also got this as another comfort - to not doubt yourself, that it won't help you - that if he had doubted himself too much he wouldn't have become well... him.
Perseverance: Same thing as the Adversity card, to persevere through any obstacles and you can do whatever you have passion for.
Pride: This was such a cute card to get - it read very much that even the blips in his legacy, he is still proud at the legacy he left behind, he's proud of his successes, and proud that he still has a fanbase after all this time - also to have pride in ourselves.
Finally, I pulled two angel number cards - i got both 3 and 33 = 333 (which for me a special number for me personally).
3 - Charismatic: Is completely obvious why this card would come out lol even in this tiny interaction the entire reading was charismatic and they're just cards lmao
33 - Expanding: To me this was really special. What I got from this was that he feels his energy being revived and expanding with the rise of new fans - more people talking about him and not just fading into the background of our culture. It seemed very happy to have his energy/legacy/etc being reached and celebrated, especially on his birthday.
-
I think there are messages in here meant for others which is partially why I'm sharing it. I think as with any reading it can carry different significances for other people and he may have other messages or signs for you. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
i do own a witchy business & do readings professionally so if you are interested in that my dms on @burninlovebutlerr are always open💜
If you guys liked this let me know and I'll be tagging the loves that wanted to read this 💗
@lindszeppelin @loving-elvis @powerofelvis @nora-nexus-34
Happy Birthday Elvis❤️🔥⚡️
#i am posting this late i did this last night#elvis#elvis presley#elvis tarot reading#?#happy birthday elvis#witchy mel lol#elvis fandom#elvis 2022#happy 88th birthday E
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📚
Okay, so one I've idea I have running around in my head is a time travel fic, where sometime after the events of ROTS Obi-Wan finds himself waking about the time just before Qui-Gon finally takes him as his padawan. But Obi-Wan decides that since he has this chance he is going to do everything in his power to really help Anakin and with the Force to guide him he decides not to be a Jedi and telling Qui-Gon that he would see him on Naboo. He leaves and finds work and saves as much money as he can (It's seventeen years I think before the POM and about 8 before Anakin is born. Not 100% sure my math is right.) he goes to Tatooine probably around when Anakin is 4 or 5. He would have Gone sooner, but he had to make sure he would have enough money to free both Anakin and Shmi.
He somehow arranges with Watto for Qui-Gon to get the parts he will need in the future.
He does end up telling Shmi some of the truth as to why he came, but I don't know how much. They all move to Naboo and Obi-wan and Anakin become like brothers. (Obi-Wan accidentally call Shmi Mom at some point and she loves it.)
Obi-Wan does teach Anakin some things about the Force. One thing I came up with is that He teaches Anakin to meditate while fixing droids, because the force helps him realized that Anakin focuses better when his hands our busy. He also let Anakin fly his ship. He is trying really hard to help Anakin learn to let go, but he has Shmi to help and a better environment which helps. (Oh, maybe he should get Anakin a pet.)
Well the time for the whole invasion is coming and by this point they have moved next door to Padme's family (Obi-Wan didn't know they lived there.) and have become friends with them. They know Padme a little bit, but not well since she's been busy with her campaign and then becoming Queen.
Anyway, just before the invasion Obi-Wan tells Anakin a little more about his past, (Anakin may have known there was something about Obi-Wan's past he wasn't sharing, but he never pressed to know what it was.) mostly that he traveled through time and is trying to stop bad things from happening again and he'll explain more later, but right now they have to go hide in the swamps.
Qui-Gon is sent to Naboo and Obi-Wan's words keep coming to the forefront of his mind, but he gets the Queen off plant without encountering Obi-Wan and then on Tatooine Watto tells him the part is already paid for and he is really confused.
When he is sent back to Naboo with the Queen he thinks about Obi-Wan's words again and is not surprised when Obi-Wan shows up in the swamp with a kid (Okay, so maybe the kid is a surprise.) Padme knows Obi-Wan and Anakin a bit and is happy to have their help. (Shmi stayed in hiding at Obi-Wan's request. She probably joins the camp later once they've made peace with the Gungans.)
Obi-Wan did build himself a lightsaber at some point because he want's to save Qui-Gon since he's fought Mual so much now he is prepared.
He makes sure Anakin can take out the blockade and saves Qui-Gon making sure Mual is truly dead.
They save Naboo and Qui-Gon offers to let Anakin become a Jedi.
Obi-Wan tells him it's his choice, but makes sure Anakin understands what it means to be a Jedi. In the end Anakin decides to stay with Obi-Wan and his mother.
Obi-Wan began to train him more in the ways of the Force and tells him more about the past and the Sith and how Palpatine is one and he is the person they are trying to stop.
Because of this Palpatine can never get his claws into Anakin because Anakin doesn't trust him.
I'm a little foggy on details now, but I know that Obi-Wan and Anakin get to know Padme more and stay in touch. I think if Anakin ever did have a crush on her it didn't last because he had a different environment and she saw him grow up and kept seeing him as little boy she first meet and then as a brother. (I could chance this later,) I've also thought about her falling for Obi-Wan (Which would take him by surprise) I don't know that is up in the air.
The war still happens and Obi-Wan Anakin still fight in it but not as generals or anything cause they are not Jedi, but they are always ready to help with relief missions.
Somehow they defeat Palpatine, but I don't know how yet.
Sorry this is so long, I didn't realize how many words my daydreaming would take up.
Put "📘" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.
#ask answered#Sorry it took me a bit to answer this.#I did't think anyone would actually send me an ask when I reblogged the post cause no one really has had in the past when I do this kinda#thing and I wasn't prepared.#Also I realized they most of the stories I have been daydreaming about have been my own works#Sorry for the long post.
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hello elle! i've noticed you haven't posted as much as usual and i figured that's something every writer goes through but i'm rooting for you! right now i'm trying to work on a waywood longfic that i hope to start posting this year 😅
hope things go fine for you, you always have my best wishes. since you said you're open to anything, maybe do you feel like to write more waywood? you'll have my enthusiasm and joy supporting you 😆
from the prompt list you posted, some i felt that waywood could go for were 4, 5, 7, 22, 47, 189 and 193. of course, you should only write what you feel like writing ☺️
(Read on AO3)
People always say that children can be cruel, but they often overlook the fact that they take after the equally heartless adults who raise them.
It was one thing when the other students taunted Robert for his family history - whenever he does too well, or too poorly, it’s either ‘good to know you’re smarter than a worm’ or ‘what did you expect from a Lightworm?’. Robert was used to that. No matter how far his family came, no matter how much distance they put between themselves and Benedict’s legacy, it never seemed to be enough.
It was another thing to have one of the Institute’s Professors step in to break up a fight and say “Why am I not surprised to find a Lightwood at the heart of another problem?” when Robert had done nothing wrong. He’d never done anything wrong. He’d done nothing but his best to keep turning his family name into something positive, something to be proud of. It was never enough. He was never enough.
And the one person who thought Robert was enough, Robert pushed away.
Robert didn’t wait for the Professor to finish before he turned, started running, and didn’t look back.
Robert hadn’t spoken to Michael in days now… or was it weeks? And yet in this moment, getting more lost by the second as he made his way through the pitch-black forest, everything inside of him screamed for Michael’s company.
Robert tripped over a root, or a rock and fell hard to the ground below. He felt a cut across his knee, the pain of a twisted muscle in his wrist, and even though he could get up if he wanted to he chose not to. He sat there, on the cold, hard ground, and his heart, mind, and soul all yearned for Michael to be by his side.
He didn’t know how long he sat there. He thought he may just stay on the ground forever, honestly. The next thing Robert knew, he heard the crunching of branches approaching, and then Michael was by his side.
“You’re hurt,” Michael said, reaching down for Robert. It wasn’t a question.
“Why are you here?” Robert asked, pulling his arm away from Michael’s reach and immediately regretting the action as a new sting of pain traveled from his wrist up the length of his arm.
“You’re hurt,” Michael repeated.
“The last time we spoke…” Robert trailed off.
“You were a proper asshole,” Michael confirmed, already pulling out his stele.
“Then why are you here?” Robert repeated.
“Because I could feel you out here, Robert. Hurting. Calling for me through our bond, whether you meant to or not. We’re parabatai…” Michael hesitated, but only for a second before pushing forward. “...and I love you. I told you that I’d never leave you; I’m not going anywhere.”
Michael held his stele over Robert’s healing rune, looking at Robert expectantly. Even after all this, he wanted to respect any boundaries Robert might set. Robert nodded slowly, closing his eyes against the comforting sensation of his parabatai activating his rune spread through him.
He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure what he could say that would excuse his past actions, or show Michael the sort of appreciation he deserved for staying even now. Why should Michael bother to come all the way out here and help the person who kept trying to push him away?
But Michael was his Parabatai, and Robert should’ve known better than to think he’d have to say anything at all. In the silence that fell between them, Michael seemed to read his mind.
“I will always choose you, Robert. Even if you won’t always choose me.”
Robert didn’t deserve Michael, didn't deserve his reassurance and comfort... but just as Michael chose to be here, Robert could choose to accept it.
And he did.
#robert lightwood#michael wayland#waywood#tsc#shadowhunters#elle writes a few deadbeat lines#I fused two of these together for this one#it's been ages since I've written them so I hope it's alright <3 <3#and I hope your fic writing and life in general is going well!!#ask rune#inquisitor-of-the-circle
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MULTIMUSE QUESTIONAIRE
RULES: Answer the questions with the Muses that would best fit the answers. Bonus if you give details why. If tagged, copy and paste into a new post – DO NOT REBLOG!
(Since this is a single-muse blog, I'm going to include muses I've played on other blogs. I'm not going to include every muse I've ever written though because 1. it already feels funny talking about muses that 99% of my followers have never seen me write, and 2. some of them were very short-lived. So I'm only including the ones that I've written most or were most significant, plus my newest one that I haven't written yet, since they've been on my mind a lot lately.)
1) Rank your softest Muse and your toughest Muse. (Personality-wise) - Strictly personality-wise, softest to toughest: Ted Logan (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure), Max Caulfield (Life is Strange), Izaya Orihara (Durarara!!), Amaimon (Blue Exorcist), Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen), Negan, Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan.) This is kind of funny though because aside from Ted and Max, none of these characters can really be considered "soft."
2) Which Muse would blow through $1000 quickly? - Gojo. But he's also rich rich, so $1000 is nothing to him. He canonically owns shirts that cost more than that. Aside from him, I think if you gave Ted $1000 he could easily blow it all on music gear and albums pretty quickly lol.
3) Do any of them have nicknames? Is there a meaning behind them? - Negan has been called "Neegs" by a few, but not many can get away with that. "Ted" is short for Theodore, and "Max" is short for Maxine (never call Max by her full name, she hates it.)
4) Are any of them up-to-speed on the latest trends? Anyone more old school? - Ted, Gojo, and Max are most likely to be up-to-speed on trends, but Max appreciates the old school stuff (she prefers analog cameras over digital for her photography, for instance.) Levi and Negan are more old school, though Negan might attempt to learn trends to seem cool to his students/the kids (it rarely works.)
5) Who has the best relationship with their siblings? - Three of them have siblings: Ted, Izaya, and Amaimon. Ted and his little brother probably have the best relationship, at least as kids, though he deals with insecurity and envy as their dad clearly favors his brother. Izaya has two sisters who are twins and about ten years his junior. Their parents were abroad for work so much that he basically raised them, but his bad influence played part in them turning out eccentric. Their relationship is complicated and a bit love/hate. Amaimon has six brothers and a sister. They are all demons (literally, they are children of Satan lol.) He's only seen interacting with one which I interpret him to have a neutral to positive relationship with. I don't see him having a close relationship with any of the others. But I also haven't read or watched the series in years, so I have no idea if more has been revealed.
6) Karaoke night! Who is likely to grab the mic first and bust out a tune? - Ted. Max will join him with some encouragement. Negan if he's had a few drinks.
7) Who is least likely to enter a beauty pageant/model? - Levi (he could actually probably do well as a model, but suggest this and he'll vehemently deny it.) Also Amaimon because he doesn't spend much time on Earth and probably doesn't even know what a beauty pageant is.
8) If your Muses visited a haunted house where actors scare you, who would panic and who would be unfazed? - Ted and Max would be panicking (but they're having a blast.) Levi and Amaimon are unfazed.
9) Are any of your Muses particular about taking certain modes of transportation? - Not really. Max does get nervous about airplanes and Izaya prefers to walk or take a taxi/public transport. Gojo doesn't drive and either takes the train/subway, has his assistant drive him, or teleports/warps short distances since he can do that lol.
10) Share a little-known fact about any Muse. - So I can't really think of anything, but I have twd verses for most of my muses that I never got to use/talk about so I'mma ramble on about little things about them here. Ted - and Bill - were following a band on tour that summer, and were at a music venue in the Atlanta area when the outbreak hit. Bill's dad died saving them the first day, and they and Missy go on to survive traveling around in their RV for a while. Max found an old vintage photography store shortly after the outbreak and took as many packs of polaroid film as she could realistically carry. She continues taking photos, not just to document the new world but to also capture small moments of beauty and happiness within her group. Gojo acts nonchalant about the apocalypse until he loses his best friend to a walker bite, after which he essentially shuts down and locks himself in a room with the (restrained) walker for days, refusing to let anyone in. He even attempts to remove its jaw/hands to keep it with him (kind of like Michonne did), and it wasn't until after that he finally killed it. He puts on a big smile and acts fine, but the unresolved anger and grief come out in spades whenever he goes up against walkers. Izaya and his sisters are in an airport preparing to fly back to Japan when the outbreak hits, and get stranded in the Virginia/DC area. A group takes them in out of pity, despite Izaya giving them the creeps. But when his sisters are eaten in a large walker attack, the group abandons him, and he's presumed dead. Months later, cue The Saviors showing up with Izaya at Negan's side as one of his lieutenants. Surprise! Levi meets up with his uncle, the only family he has, when the outbreak happens. It doesn't take long for them to start butting heads morally - his uncle is much quicker to warm up to the idea of stealing and killing. But they stick together until they're separated while fighting a horde, and Levi's been on his own ever since, unsure if he's alive. He's eventually taken in by Alexandria, but has a hard time adjusting. I don't have anything set for Amaimon, but he's naturally violent and off-putting and very likely ends up with the Whisperers or becomes a cannibal or something lol.
tagged by: @wexarethewalkingxdead
tagging: @esoterium @survivoirs @chitteringbeast and anyone else that'd like to do this (y'all are the only active mutuals I know that have multiple muses and weren't already tagged I don't think??)
#dash games#my weeb past rearing its ugly head#max out there being the only female muse out of fourteen muses. girl i am so sorry#this got me very nostalgic so thank you lol#t.wd (and a.ttack on t.itan) is my go-to au for my muses and i've always enjoyed not only seeing how they'd fit into a story#but how they might interact with each other within the same au#since they're all from different fandoms. crossovers within crossovers lol#so i apologize for the block of text with that last question#✘ || Excuse the shit out of my goddamn french ( ooc )
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Impossible question: who do you think has the saddest backstory in Vento Aureo?
Ok I've thought about it and I'm gonna rank the backstories by degree of tragedy, with methodology, hold on to your butts:
9. Diavolo - His backstory is fucked up, like it sucks his mom was in jail or whatever, but I have zero pity for Mr. Arson McSmashNDash
8. Trish - She breaks Narancia's arm and demands Chanel and Evian when we meet her. Trish's present may suck but she came up ok.
7. Leone Abbacchio - We've all hit that moment of disillusionment when you grow up and realise the institutions that are designed to support our society are in fact irreparably corrupt, yet managed not to collude with pimps and murderers. Abbacchio's personal pity party is sad but he brought it on himself.
6. Guido Mista - Up until like a year before the part starts he was living an easy breezy life, chasing skirts and picking fights he couldn't win. The failure of the justice system is unfair and unfortunate, but Bucciarati bails him out too soon for me to feel too bad for him.
5. Giorno Giovanna - Not that I want a bunch of Giorno kinnies coming after me (again), but while his early life sucked, Giorno gets a full fledged deus ex machina when he's only 4 or 5 that improves his life practically overnight. That's something that goes completely overlooked when people talk about his story, particularly in comparison to the next ones on this list. It got better for him, in part because of his own gut sense of justice, and he's able to come clear-eyed into the gang, unlike everyone else.
4. Pannacotta Fugo - I've moved Fugo around on this list a little. I don't feel any particular sadness when I think about Fugo's backstory; it sucks but it's complicated. I am not a manga purist by any stretch of the imagination, but I tend to defer to the original IP for authorial intent. And in this case, Fugo wasn't designed to have as tragic of a backstory as the other guys (presumably to make it easier to accept his eventual departure)...so I kind of disagree with the anime adaptation making it sadder? I think Fugo could have been a unique character among the group, one whose own personality flaws (i.e. murderous temper) rather than systemic injustice were the reason for his social ostracism. But the anime made him a victim, which idk seems too easy. That said, there's no question his anime backstory is fucked up.
3. Narancia Ghirga - His mom dies of a slow and painful disease, his father neglects him, he runs off and lives on the streets, gets screwed by the people he's come to trust and also the justice system, and nearly dies from a similar condition to what he'd seen his mom suffer thru. People who are supposed to care for Narancia let him down at every step of his life, taking advantage of his good and trusting nature. That breaks my heart.
2. Bruno Bucciarati - My thoughts on Bucciarati's past are well known at this point lol. This man's whole life is a tragedy.
1. Jean-Pierre Polnareff I ran out of colors idk - surprise right lol. We know the tragedy Pol suffered before Part 3 that led him onto that devastating journey, which ended with even more pain and regret. I imagine Polnareff and Jotaro just sorta..floating thru their 20s, conscripted by the Speedwagon Foundation to keep revisiting the circumstances around that traumatic stardust crusade without any real aim or hope of closure. Then Diavolo nearly kills him, which effectively forces him into hiding. He just lives for so long plagued by the problem of the stand arrows, it dictates his whole life, and that really fucks me up man.
#when I opened this ask My heart dropped and I put my hand over mouth like#i felt this one deep lmfao#seems kinda long I may add a cut we'll see#jjba#vento aureo#character tagsssssugg#jjba diavolo#trish una#guido mista#giorno giovanna#leone abbacchio#bruno bucciarati#jean pierre polnareff#narancia ghirga#pannacotta fugo#answered ask#anonymous#spam my askbox#with asks like these!
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20 questions for fic writers
Thank you @marypsue for tagging me!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
732 oh gosh it needs to have text next to it to not show up giant
2. What’s your total word count?
1,316,095 aha you can tell most of my fics are short
3. What fandoms do you write for?
What I am currently preoccupied with is The Dark Crystal/The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance. The vast majority of my fics are for Rise of the Guardians, and I have one fairly substantial fic each for Thor and Venom.
4. Top 5 fics by kudos
Give You Everything, not surprised about this one, it's Eddie/Venom and I published it a little less than four months after Venom came out in theaters. 2. Single Snowflakes, this one is a surprise? It's barely over 1K, T for subject matter, Bunny/Jack where Jack talks about past trauma with Bunny. I wouldn't have written it except that this was part of my project to fill every prompt on Round 1 of the Rise of the Guardians Dreamwidth kinkmeme. I guess it resonated with people??? 3. How Old? Another Bunny/Jack fic, G-rated and very short. 4. What it Means to Ask, yet ANOTHER Bunny/Jack fic, G-rated, but about how serious the concept of being a "mate" is in Pooka culture. How Old? was also related to that. 5. Down and Dirty-a wrestling-type fight between Jack and Bunny turns into sex.
What have we learned? The Jackrabbit fans, they are legion.
5. Do you respond to comments?
For the past several years, yes, pretty much always. Back in 2012 when I was just starting to post on Ao3, I was like unto a nervous deer and sometimes didn't respond. But I did print out all the comments on Without Contraries There Is No Progression (Pitch/Sandy that got me writing big complete things) and put them on my fridge at the time. It helped me get my master's degree.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
The one that comes to the top of my head is Warmer Than I Thought. Jack's dying because he just didn't have enough believers when he became a Guardian. He's not going to come back with continuity of self. Pitch is there to offer him some scant comfort as he goes.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I mostly write happy endings, honestly, but the honor of the most happy and resolved ending goes to His Time, which is chronologically the last fic in my Rise of the Guardians Apotheosis AU. It's a far-distant future, OT8, everyone is together and essentially the pantheon of a new planet they made after Earth is gone due to the expansion of the sun. They are trying to make it go well this time, and so far succeeding.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
The closest thing to hate I ever got was on my explicit Thorki fic...from a person complaining about how much I had Thor and Loki talk to each other.
9. Do you write smut?
I write a lot of explicit sex, yes.
10. Do you write crossovers?
I've written a fair number in my prompt-fill project, but it's not something I'm drawn to write.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've never known about any of my fics being stolen.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Someone talked to me about translating one of my fics and I was very excited and I said yes. However I don't know what came of that because things happened and I fell out of communication with the potential translator. Maybe they finished it and I don't know about it!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, and I don't think I would, unless it was part of a strictly structured event/project.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Well, it's Pitch Black/Sandman. Conceptually, the ships I'm drawn to have ties to dichotomies of dark/light, good/evil, cosmic opposites kind of thing. Pitch and Sandy, as personifications of nightmares and dreams, were a perfect vessel for that obsession.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?
I told my friends, "I'm not going to rewrite The Phantom of the Opera." And I'm not. But there's a version of PotO that I wanted that uh, isn't what any of the big official versions gave me. So I started writing and I have 49,615 words so far. If I don't find a way to finish it I think I will end up posting it as something permanently unfinished, because there's a lot that I like in it now.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I have been told in a real graduate writing workshop that I have good dialogue. I also like to think I'm pretty good at sensory descriptions.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
The things I find extremely difficult are endings and like, plots where things happen--I want so badly to write a big complicated Space Empire story but like. How is does political intrigue? (This house is FEELINGS ONLY.)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?
I don't think I'd ever do it.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Almost certainly Dragonball Z. If all goes well, my friend and I may have the chance to excavate some of my old notebooks during the holidays and then--it's archive time and that is a threat.
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
It's A Draught of Light, which I love as it is, and for proving that I could write an alternate-world epic fantasy novel as long as I didn't like, admit that's what I was doing. I do admit though that I have an edited version that takes it farther away from being fanfic that I like even better. Maybe I should, hmm, start taking steps to making that version available, if you understand what I mean.
Who do I know writing out there that hasn't been tagged yet? @queerpyracy, @purplebloodedmajesty, @incurablenecromantic
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Your turn for a Ninjago question!
Which season's your favourite?
Hmm. I suck at picking favourites. It's made worse by the fact it's been a while since I've rewatched anything but season 1. So uh, I guess I'll answer this question backwards from worst to best. Have a very rambly, vaguely ordered list :)
I never watched much past S10 - the move to 11 minute episodes was really jarring and only seemed to work well for that one bit of lore for Wu and Garmadon in Crystallised. Which is great, but it's not the actual story, so :/
You've already seen my hatred for the Oni trilogy. Really all I wanted to add there is that I count it as one season, because it has the same plot structure as a regular season, but stretched out over a year for god knows why. I remember making remarks back in the day that it straight up felt like season 4 but longer and edgier, down to the bait-and-switch love interest and end-of-season war.
Hands Of Time I think is generally glossed over in the fandom, and understandably so. I remember they made jokes about iPhones and also captured Borg and there were snakes or whatever. It promised we were going to explore Kai and Nya's family dynamic and then. I'm sure they did something there? Wu's sacrifice was memorable, but absolutely nothing else was. It felt like the new writers were given a script for what Ninjago was known for, but never actually watched the show.
Season 6 I think had a good initial impact on me because of its sky pirate aesthetic but the longer it went on... Eugh. You Already Know
Season 3 I remember, but only for Zane's sacrifice and Garmadon's moments. There were really good character moments in there, but overall there wasn't much going on.
So that strikes it down to 1, 2, 4, and 5.
4. I think 2 comes last by default. I don't dislike it and find a fair bit of it fun, but they really did sap most of Lloyd's personality once he got aged up. There are filler episodes (which are fun, but still), and a second half of the season that drags on until the final fight that everybody was waiting for.
I think Garmadon had some really good moments in here, both funny and dramatic (and especially with Misako). But I think that's still eclipsed by season 1's setup of him. I've drawn fanart of it before but Misako could've been one of the funniest character premises the series had and it's a shame her character was never capitalised on.
3. Possession, as cool as some of the character moments are, is a season I think I liked as a kid mainly because of its ghost aesthetic. Which is amazing, for the record. The art directors were absolutely on point there, and the atmosphere of places like the caves, the washed-up town of Stix, and the sheer scale of the final battle are still burned into my brain.
Character-wise, it's quite nice in showing Kai's loyalty and caring towards Lloyd, and great in that it actually gave Nya a proper character arc. But a lot of the exploration of other characters feels more like... lip service? Cole is a fantastic leader and willing to sacrifice himself for the team, and now might have to deal with being a ghost. Zane sometimes has to deal with things beyond his control as a robot. Wu's carelessness as a mentor actually got one of his students killed back in the day.
What do we do with that? I don't know. I might be overlooking things but the fact these aren't truly followed up with always felt off to me. I want to say Morro himself is sort of representative of this, but I'd need another post and a rewatch to detail my thoughts on him properly.
1. I don't think I want to decide between them: season 4 and season 1.
Tournament of Elements had practically everything I wanted from Ninjago back in the day. It's got some really heartfelt dialogue about the team having broken up after season 3 (as short as that is), it's focused on the more interesting of the two Senseis, it's got espionage and revolution and this whole grand hotel to have ridiculous fights in.
It's not as laser-focused on adding to the ninja's characters as other seasons, but in lieu of that you get a lot of expansion on what we already had, and the best written plot in the entire show.
Like you know something is up with Chen from the very beginning, and so do the ninja, but you have to keep pushing on just to see what happened with Zane. I kept expecting the plot to follow a clear structure and get boring or drag out the mystery of what was going on, but they just kept switching it up whenever I thought things were going perfectly.
You thought the whole team would make through the tournament? Nope! But Cole did find Zane! Holy shit! You thought uniting the elemental masters would be easy? Nope, one of them's a fucking spy. She's literally the main villain's daughter! You thought this'd just be about Chen stealing everybody's elements? Nope, he wants to revive the long dead and conquer the world. Have fun fighting a war!
It's genuinely fascinating how much the plot evolves over the season's runtime, with everybody doing their own separate things. Not every twist works, but the writers clearly put some amount of thought into all of them, and it makes me love the season despite some of its, well, 'culturally insensitive' plot points, as Pythor might say.
Season 1's strengths lie with its characterisation instead of the story, but I still like it for largely the same reasons as season 4.
What really drew me back into Ninjago out of all the action shows back in the day was that instead of just being another 'dumb action show for boys,' it was about a bunch of friends growing and learning as they prepared to grow up. The ninja have to deal with things kids know intimately: absent parents, self esteem issues stemming from your social status, self-centeredness vs being a normal person, discovering your own heritage, feeling excluded, and coming out.
The side characters are also all fantastic. Pythor's delightfully smarmy as a villain. Garmadon's both the most dramatic theatre kid you've ever seen and the sweetest father to Lloyd. Even Lloyd had a lot to do back here! This is the only time I've seen a sad white(-coded) boy villain work out, because he's a child looking for friends. He's genre savvy due to him being Garmadon's son, and smart in suggesting that the ninja steal back the fangblades from Pythor, but he's also still like, 7.
And while the season doesn't have as strong a plot as season 4, I still think small things like the fangblades being stolen from both sides and having the ostensive 'villain' defeat the Great Devourer were fantastic ideas within the constraints of a very structured story.
#ninjago critical#ninjago#dots dots dots#asks#oblivious aro#i hope. uh. you like reading 👍#GOD I JUST SAT DOWN FOR A BREAK AND STARTED TYPING FOR LIKE A SOLID HOUR HELP#i was supposed to be revising for my next exam but also I'm tired from today's. so. here you go#i'm glad I got this ask. I think I've been wanting to elaborate on my ideas about this for a while#as much as i think the show's. uh. 'culturally insensitive' it did leave a big impact on my psyche and writing style
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Having neglectful parents as a kid is so weird, because I'm 16 now. Most of my friends were either raised by single moms or have a deceased parent. My dad was around when I was a kid. Like, sure he worked a lot, but I was really attached to him + my mom was around 24/7. I don't know why I have so much more trouble being independent than the average person who's entirely missing a dad and has a mom who works. But I just physically can't do some things???? I don't know why or what's wrong with me but I can't do normal things, like school because I just can't focus or think straight. Highschool is pointless and I don't understand why I have to do it anyways, regardless of how much it contributes to my future. I get it for public school kids, because it's important to form connections during highschool. But I'm homeschooled, there's no positive gain from me reading about the constitution and other bullshit. I don't know how to do taxes and I planned to move out in two years. How come I have to learn about twenty different white American men who waved nicely to a few women instead of learning valuable life skills?
And I've literally never met an adult who's willing to help me without treating me like I'm a baby. They know what I'm learning is useless and so do I, but they need to call me their "chiald uwu" without asking if I'm okay with it (surprisingly a lot of people do this I've known like 3 or 4 people in the past 5 years who have tried to claim I'm their kid) and it's so UGH because I love school and I love learning but my brain hates me or something
#i have weird ass trauma with being called random people's kids#don't ask#because i'm gonna tell you#i was in a cult#this was the THIRD cult I was in#which was an elaborate attempt for this guy to pick out a kid to groom#hashtag childhood trauma#i was 14 and his victim of choice was 13 so I guess I was too old idk#vent#i guess idk#i'm bad at emotions my emotions vary between feeling nothing and feeling everything#not as in nothing in an edgy way but very numb
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HOLLOWED OUT
《 CH5 // FILLED BACK UP WITH HATE // PART 3 》
When Jason saw that photo of Batman and his new Robin, the thin cord of hope holding him together had snapped and he had broken into a million pieces. No one was coming for him. Not one single person on the planet cared whether he lived or died, or how much he suffered, or how loud he screamed. No one except the Clown. He was Joker’s now, and he would say or do anything to get a reprieve from the torment and the pain, even if it meant letting himself be reduced to something less than human.
《RATING》 🔞 Mature 《WORDS》 1,528 《CHAPTERS》 5/6
《CHARACTERS》 Jason Todd/Robin, Joker, Bruce Wayne (mentioned)
《TROPES》 Hurt No Comfort, Angst, Whump, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat
《WARNINGS》 Dehumanization, Bathing/Washing, Master/Pet, Collars, Ownership, Brainwashing, Humiliation, Non-Consensual Touching, Torture, Mindfuck, Scars, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Loathing, Past Child Abuse, Daddy Issues, Forced Nudity, Swearing
《SERIES》 Part 4 of My Arkhamverse, Part 4 of Ruined
《NOTES》
This chapter includes a very thorough bath scene 😬
Only one chapter left after this one! 🎉
This fic is my pride & joy! It was the first thing I published after a 5+ year hiatus, and the longest story I've ever written by far!
This fic is also dark so be aware of the tags (especially the DD:DNE tag)
My Arkhamverse canon is a mix of game canon and Arkham Knight: Genesis canon. I pick and choose what I like best 😉
If you enjoy the read please consider kudosing, commenting, and reblogging ❤️
《 ALSO ON AO3 》 (comments & kudos there are very much appreciated)
Joker kneaded soap into the sparse tuft of black hair in his armpit…
“♫ Brush off the clouds and cheer up… ♫”
…before dragging the rag down the length of his skinny arm, painting over the angry red splotches—burns from the blowtorch—with white suds.
“♫ Put on a happy face… ♫”
The rag slid over the abraded bands ringing his bony wrist to reach his puffy, mottled hand (compliments of an acid spritz). Jason bit back a hiss. That cracked and blistered skin was still tender to the touch after the earlier brush-scouring. Joker paused for a moment to hold it up like a manicurist inspecting his work.
“♫ Hmm-hmm hmm-hmm hmm-hmm hmm… ♫”
Jason gulped, his Adam’s apple pumping up and down the column of his throat while his eyes remained trained on the shower floor. He didn’t need to look up to know that the Clown was admiring the beginnings of fingernails filling in the empty pits of his nail beds. Probably making a note in his deranged brain to relieve me of them next playtime. His stomach churned at the thought.
“♫ La-la di-da di-da… ♫”
Joker ran the rag between each crooked, splayed finger, and over his drill-punctured palm…
“♫ Doo-doot doo-doot doo-doot-doot… ♫”
…before lowering his left arm in exchange for his right, tugging him closer with it, then repeating the same process…
“♫ And if you’re feeling cross and bitterish,
Don’t sit and whine.
Think of banana split and licorice,
And you’ll feel fine! ♫”
…and moving onto his chest. The rag wiped away the fresh blood seeping from the latest artwork etched into his fleshy canvas: the crude mockery of the Robin logo from his suit, carved deep into his right breast. A carving the Clown regularly retraced, lest it fade away and his “beloved Boy Blunder” forget how spectacularly he failed in his role.
“♫ Why look so awfully tragic?
Put on a happy face! ♫”
Joker gripped his sore shoulder while he scrubbed his scabbed and scarred torso, with its puckered HAHAHA cut beneath his protruding ribs alongside the silvery J+HQ♡ in Harley’s whimsical cursive.
“♫ Smiling can work like magic
Put on a happy face! ♫”
Cloth-covered fingers deftly massaged soap into that abused skin, and Jason hated himself for leaning into it, for thinking it felt good when all he’d known for nearly a year of his life was pain.
“♫ Why do you mope around so sourly?
It’s such a strain. ♫”
The rag swirled suds over the Arkham logo incised into his abdomen, its soapy arc widening with each turn, every muscle in his broken body tensing as it crept closer and closer to his exposed crotch…
“♫ I always try to chuckle hourly,
It clears the brain! ♫”
Jason couldn’t help but flinch when the rag brushed against his patch of black pubes. His cock was the only part of his body that the Clown hadn’t touched—that no one had touched. Joker would piss himself laughing if he knew I was gonna die a virgin. Or… A chill washed over him as the next thought sent icy horror flooding through his veins: Or he might invite a friend down to pop my cherry for me. A vivid image burned into his brain before he could claw it away… an image of Bane bending his skeletal body over the blood-stained desk in his cell, before robbing him of the only sliver of dignity he had left…
“♫ I knew a boy so gloomy,
He’d never laugh or sing… ♫”
Joker grabbed hold of his left ankle—his fleshless leg was almost the color of the Clown’s bleached white fist—while he rubbed the rag down his burn-dappled right leg to his duct-tape-wrapped ankle and foot, then back up again, kneading soap into the hollow of his knee, inching towards his inner thigh…
“♫ He wouldn’t listen to me… ♫”
The rag slid higher and Jason’s mind tried to flee: to a place and time where he was happy, where the only pain he knew was bruises after a brawl at Batman’s side. But so many of his memories were poisoned now by Bruce’s lies. I was supposed to be his son. The joke was on him though: his adopted dad hadn’t wanted him any more than his real dad. He had to push past this. He knew what was coming; he didn’t want to be here when the Clown touched him.
The rag skimmed his sack, and Jason was back in his elevator down to the cave, the one hidden behind his wall of books in his new bedroom. Bruce was smiling at him, telling him he “earned this.” This billionaire slash vigilante was letting him, a kid from the street, into his life, sharing his greatest secret, his trust. He could still feel that warmth welling in his chest; he’d made his father proud. He tried to grab hold of that feeling and use it to drag himself out of this pit, out of this wrecked shell of a body; to become Robin again—Bruce Wayne’s son. To let it happen to that other boy instead…
“♫ Now he’s a mean old thing! ♫”
His mind was viciously ripped back to the present when the rag-covered hand clamped around his balls. His entire body jolted then locked rigid, as if the Clown had shocked him again with the cattle prod. He screwed his eyes shut and held his breath while he waited for Joker to crush his nuts in his fist, to grind them together like before. Even his shriveled sack seemed to draw up tight to his body in sick anticipation of that stomach-wrenching agony. Every fiber of his being burned with the need to be anywhere else but here at this man’s mercy, but he was bound by the fear of what would happen to him if he dared to deny his master his fun.
“Now now, Jason. No need to be shy,” Joker chided softly, his deceptively gentle voice wriggling over Jason’s eardrums like slimy maggots. “I seem to recall you telling me that these were, what was it you said? ‘Mine to torture’?”
Jason cringed, his guts writhing at the memory of his last punishment, the utter humiliation. “Yes sir,” he whimpered pitifully. Of course he’d said that. The maniac had a scalpel pressed to his sack for fuck’s sake. He would’ve told the man anything he wanted to hear. “Sorry sir.”
Anguish and despair clawed at his heart until it swelled too large for his chest and pressed painfully against his sore ribs. Why did Bruce want him to suffer? Yeah, he fucked up, but Batman was supposed to help the helpless. Did that not extend to washed-up sidekicks? Please, Bruce. He didn’t want to hurt anymore. He didn’t want this creep to touch him anymore. He didn’t want to be a dog. I want Alfred. I want my father. I want to go home. But this was his home now. He was an orphan who no one wanted—who no one ever wanted—except the monster who hurt him every day of his miserable life. I would’ve given back the suit if you had asked. I would’ve moved out of the manor, back to Crime Alley. He hadn’t realized what an embarrassment he was. He didn’t know then that he was a failed trial run. Please, Bruce. Please give me another chance. I’ll never disobey you again, I swear. I’m good at obeying now… I’m a good boy now… Please…
When Joker’s hand closed around his limp cock he simply withered. He could do nothing while the rag soaped his length, rolling back the foreskin to expose the head and thumb its slit; he could do nothing except let this madman violate him. After all, he was just a creature. No, not even a creature. He was a thing. A plaything. A toy like the wind-up chattering teeth Joker had scattered throughout his home. Joker’s “boy toy.” He—it—existed solely for its owner’s amusement.
Joker slid his hands beneath the boy’s arms and gently lifted it off the wet floor, maneuvering it like a doll. “Upsy-daisy!” a nasally voice echoed cheerfully.
The boy-shaped thing was standing now, slumped against the back wall of the shower as its owner continued to scrub months of degradation from its emaciated body. The shivering thing only sobbed as the rag slid between its bruised asscheeks, hiccuping when a rag-covered finger found its puckered hole and pressed into it, only the tiniest bit, just enough to humiliate it once more. Another reminder that its owner could touch it wherever he wanted, play with it whenever he wanted, and that it was too utterly ruined to do anything about it.
Joker rested his forehead against its temple. “How about we get the rest of this muck off you,” he murmured sweetly over its shoulder as he rubbed suds into the soft stretch of skin behind its sack. “Don’t want Bats thinking his ol’ pal Jokey has been mistreating his wayward birdie.”
Bats knows, it thought hollowly as warm tears rolled over the ‘J’ on its cheek. And Bats doesn’t care.
#sands writes#fic: hollowed out#series: ruined#my arkhamverse#jason todd#joker#robin#bruce wayne#arkham asylum#arkham knight#batman arkham knight#arkhamverse#whump#angst#collars#jason todd angst#jason todd whump#jason todd fanfiction#dcu#dead dove: do not eat
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i wrote u a message some time ago abt it but it seems that it was not delivered or something like that (might be my own fault cause I ~may or may not~ have had 3 glasses of wine before so absolutely no fuckin idea if I actually sent it or just wrote it and went to sleep)
ANYWAYS….
I have written u before telling how I ABSOLUTELY ADORE the way you write piarles (ultimate otp), and then the last fantasy fest fic…. I MEAN…. I’ve read it 4 or 5 times already and I absolutely love omfg how can u write something like thisssssss. I think by the time the winter e can he fic comes I’ll probably have memorized if, and then I’ll just memorize the winter exchange fic also because I KNOW it will be perfection as always.
(whenever u can, please feed me with your piarles fics, thoughts, 5 sentences prompts. I take everything u want to give)
Hi friend!
Your message from a few weeks ago did send, but sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with the nice things people are saying that I hoard them up like little nuggets and re-read them at 3 AM when my brain is telling me to delete everything in my current google doc and start over.
BUT, I appreciate your kind words so so much it's unbelievable that other people love my little brain drabbles as much as I love coming up with them.
I have a little one that I have had in my notes app forever and ever that isn't full fic worthy, but would make an interesting little ficlet so here you go:
Piarles AU- based off the song Cherry by Harry Styles, but with a Happy Ending
Charles makes a burner Instagram account - which is really really stupid considering he did it when he was drunk with Carlos and the username is absolutely something Pierre would recognize, but...maybe he'll see it and feel guilty. Maybe one day he'll be checking to see if someone has watched one of his dumb stories on Instagram and he'll see it and he'll know. Charles is still waiting. Maybe he'll feel guilty then.
Because Charles misses him. Every single time his phone dings and he gets a dumb notification on that stupid burner account that Pierre has posted a story, dread fills him up. Is he finally going to post the probably boyfriend? Is he finally going to do more than soft launch him?
Soft launch - stupid stupid word that Lando had used to describe whatever Pierre was doing with that man. Posting pictures of two plates out at a fairly romantic dinner. An artsy shot of a flat that definitely didn't belong to Pierre. A balcony that leads out to a ridiculous view of a French vineyard.
Stupid French boys with stupid money and parents with rare art collections that steal soulmates and - it would hurt less if Pierre had looked miserable for at least a day. One single day of him looking miserable.
But, the day - the day - after he told Charles that Pierre 'needed time to figure out if he was doing the right thing', he was back to his normal self. Smiling in pictures. Hiking. Going out clubbing with Yuki.
Charles wanted to scream at him a little bit. How dare you doubt this? You know who I am just as I know who you are. I've known who you are since I met you. You are the person who knows me best. You are the person who helps me buy clothes so I do not wear one color. (Charles doesn't like to think too much about the fact that he has been broken of that habit completely and it is thanks to Pierre's years and years of work.)
Pierre didn't need to figure out if he was doing the right thing. Because the wrong thing was what he was doing now. (But it's hard for Charles to find fault in him. All Pierre has ever known is Charles and Pierre...well, Pierre thinks things to death.) ((But, what is there to think about when you and your best friend admit that the feelings you have for each other go well past platonic? What is there to think about?)) (((Charles is being a dick. There is plenty to think about. Pierre is so hesitant to give his heart away. That's fine. Charles will wait.)))
Yuki comes to see him when he's on this side of the city - bringing him absolutely zero scraps of Pierre, but plenty of gossip about their other friends - who Charles does miss, but all their conversations are stilted and odd. No one wants to bring it up. Charles doesn't know if he's thankful for it or he hates it. Probably a bit of both.
Charles is laying on the couch, thinking about calling Carlos to come over and drag him out of his flat so he doesn't have another night of...this, when his phone buzzes on the table. It's Instagram and he huffs before swiping it open and Instagram switches his account, pulling up Pierre's newest Instagram story.
It's a short video of footage from a train window. Going home.
Charles lets his phone drop to the floor, scrubbing his hands over his face a few times before he picks it back up and pulls up Carlos' contact. He can go out. He will go out and he'll - he'll dance with his friends and he will...not think about Pierre.
.
Post shower, Charles is arranging his hair in a way that says...well, something. Lando will rearrange it when he gets here so he's not sure why he's bothering, but his door is buzzing and he gives up. Going to swing it open and beg Lando to help him, please.
It's not Lando.
"I was hoping," Pierre says, eyes on the floor, hands in the pocket of his coat, voice small and scared, "that you still meant what you said at Halloween."
Charles is frozen in the spot. "That I love you?"
Pierre's eyes flick up to his, quick, and then immediately back down. Like he's afraid.
"I do. I still love you."
Pierre takes one step towards the door, eyes still on the floor. "I know now." He shrugs, voice smaller. "I am sorry, Charlito. I should have -"
Charles reaches for him. Tucks him into his arms. "You know now." He whispers, feeling Pierre cling to him. "You know now."
"I love you too." Pierre sobs into Charles' chest.
He came home.
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