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mythologyolympics · 5 months

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Ancient World Dashboard Simulator

🐢 aristotlestortoise Follow

I'm so sick of these philosophers waving dead chickens around to prove their point like that's not contributing to unnecessary food waste when children are starving in Gaul

🦷 diogenessimp Follow

and who says they didn't eat the chicken afterwards you presumptuous garum sipper

besides how would that benefit a starving child in gaul diogenes did that in athens thats like 6000 stadia away from gaul

🐢 aristotlestortoise Follow

As if donating a day-old chicken that had been used as a prop isn't a hazard for food poisoning or something geez

How about you bring in a live chicken and demonstrate your point with that and then donate it to a godsdamned farmer who can do something with it

🦷 diogenessimp Follow

look neither of us understands diogenes whole school of thought as well as he does and if he thinks using poultry for props is the best choice then imma trust he knows what he's talking about

🦣 giantwoolybones

do you guys know that you are arguing about a dead chicken

24,874 notes

👨‍👦 corophilus

not to be an art critic on main or anything but has this sculptor ever heard of a dynamic pose

#a boy this age would be moving!!

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✊ p-o-p-u-l-a-r-i-s Follow

The people just don't seem to care about how Caligula keeps beginning new construction projects with public funds. People are homeless and starving and he puts up a new theater in the middle of the city as if we need that.

Now he's claiming to be a god?? Plus there's rumors he has sex with his horse.

It's very important that you contact the members of the senate to let them know the people are ready to rise up if they don't depose Caligula. We should get organized and flood the streets.

🎽 crixusstan

I see you not reblogging this. Come on, this should have 200k notes

14,381 Notes

💸 achaemenid Follow

Dude, this invention of the coin is so iconic. Cyrus is gonna go down in history for this one. I mean that in a good way.

🪙 lydianmetallurgy Follow

Sorry but Cyrus stole the entire concept of the coin from us and I'm sick of people acting like we didn't have contributions to make to advancements in science and culture just because we were conquered by your stupid empire. Cyrus is a tyrant and just wants to gather as much power as he can.

🦁 daniyye

Cyrus let my people go back to our homeland, so he's all right by me

#by the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion #now we don't have to do that anymore!!

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🥇 gladiatorheadtohead Follow

Remember, you're voting for who you think would win the fight, not who you like the best.

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🐺 lyca

just left my den and there's just 2 human babies lying on the ground all alone

wtf do i do

🐺 lyca

so i happen to already be lactating so i guess... i just have 2 more cubs now?

🐺 lyca

guys these babies are so cute. i think they're going to do great things one day

#personal #do not reblog i mean it this time 6 Notes

🍆 miletus-leather Follow

The best sex toy shop in Miletus. Come see our selection!

🦌 artemisbow Follow

I'm not one to harsh on a small business trying to make it but I've been to this shop and women are an afterthought here. You'd think the only people interested in dildos were men the way they act here.

🍆 miletus-leather Follow

Women should be weaving and taking care of their children, not coming into our sex shop.

😈 hermescock Follow

🐐 blessedsatir

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#dash simulator #dashboard simulator #ancient rome #classical rome #ancient greece #classical greece #ancient persia #ancient israel #ancient lydia #bonus since i know you want to know gaul was 13000 stadia from athens

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lisbeth-kk · 4 months

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December moments

Prompts used in this chapter: resolutions - Auld Lang Syne

Almost everyone who knows Sherlock wouldn’t believe it if they were told that the great detective has resolutions for the upcoming year. If they were to guess what said resolutions could be, they would fail. Exceedingly.

December 30

Sherlock’s phone pings with a text before we get up this morning. He frowns at it for a while, huffs, hums, then sighs and turns to face me.

“John, I…uhm…”

It’s so out of character for Sherlock to stutter like this, and I worry instantly, which Sherlock assures me isn’t necessary.

“Not to worry, John. I had a dream just before I woke up this morning, or rather a memory. You remember when Mycroft sung when I played earlier this month?”

“Of course, love. It was the most surprising thing I’ve ever encountered, but definitely a wonderful surprise. What does that have to do with your text?” I ask him.

“The text is from Mycroft. He’s asking us over for dinner at his chambers at the Diogenes this evening. My instant thought was obviously to decline.”

“Obviously,” I chuckle, which earns me a smile.

“You know I don’t do resolutions of any sorts, but I can’t help myself. It’s clearly your fault for having put a spell on me or something,” he tells me, his eyes now gleaming mischievous.

I snort and poke him in the ribs. He grabs my wrist and brings my hand to his chest and rests his own hand on top of mine.

“Behave, captain,” he purrs, and only those two words, not to mention the tone of his voice, makes my penis instantly interested.

I beckon him to continue, and I couldn’t have been more surprised if Sally Donovan had sent Sherlock a Valentine card.

“If you’re amenable, I think I’ll say yes to the invitation. My brother’s clearly serious about him and George, and I think it’ll be a good thing to spend some more time together with them. Besides, the food and drinks at the Diogenes are excellent. Would be a shame to let those two devour it all by themselves.”

I lean over to kiss his perfect mouth and give him my answer while looking down at him, with what probably is a soppy expression.

“How is it that you’re still able to surprise me like this, sweetheart? Of course, I’ll come with you, and you two Holmes’s can use the evening to practice names,” I say and kiss him again.

***

When I see Sherlock walk into the sitting room all dressed up, I just want to undress him, no unwrap him like the exquisite gift he is. My fingers itch to mess up his perfectly styled curls and I clench my fists and groan. The smirk appearing on that beloved face, showing his dimple, make my knees weak.

His long legs are enveloped in black, bespoke suit trousers, which end in black polished shoes. My eyes wander up his body, finding his torso covered in a white shirt, a black bowtie and a burgundy jacket with black velvet lapels. I lick my lips and swallow the considerate amount of saliva filling my mouth.

“You’re staring,” Sherlock rumbles, but there’s no hiding that he enjoys my openly admiration of his attire and general looks.

“Anyone with a pulse would,” I mutter and deliberately walks in a large circle to avoid the temptation of touching this delectable creature that is my boyfriend.

I take my time dressing, fully knowing that I’m no match when it comes to Sherlock’s otherworldly beauty, but I will make an effort to look my best tonight. My pinstriped grey suit, white shirt and ivy green tie look rather good on me, and I put a bit of product in my hair and the aftershave Sherlock gifted me on my birthday, complete my business in the bathroom.

“John,” Sherlock breathes reverently when I come back to the sitting room, and that tells me everything I need to know.

His eyes roam over me with a hungry look, and I bask in it for a few seconds before I tell him we need to be on our way. I know from experience that if I even took his hand just to kiss it, we’d be lost in the desire to undress and devour each other right here. His disappointment is apparent, but I remind him of his resolution, and mentioning his brother’s name, is enough for him to tear his attention away from me. Not without an eyeroll and a growl, though.

“Later, my love,” I say and wink at him over my shoulder before I descend the stairs.

***

Socialising with Mycroft at his club, is not something I ever thought I would experience, but here I am. He greets me with my first name, and Sherlock calls Greg by his in turn. I may have to start believing in miracles if this continues.

“Myc was over the moon that you came,” Greg whispers while Sherlock and Mycroft discuss the best way to open a champagne bottle.

“Does he let you call him that?” I ask incredulously.

Sherlock is going to have a stroke when he hears about this!

“Of course, John. He’s my boyfriend,” Greg says a bit affronted.

Boyfriend. Another word I find hard to associate with Mycroft Holmes.

Sherlock saves me from embarrassing myself further, by handing me a flute of fizzy champagne. Greg walks over to Mycroft to grab his own glass, and Sherlock curls his pinkie around mine, and bends his head down to my ear.

“Alright?” he inquires softly.

“Yeah. It’s just a bit…”

I let the sentence hang in the air, but Sherlock catches up quickly and chuckles quietly.

“I know what you mean,” he says and kisses my cheek before he straightens.

We toast our host with the exquisite champagne, and the rest of the evening proceeds quite civilly. As Sherlock informed me, the food and drinks are superb. In particular the veal saltimbocca served with a perfectly matched Italian wine. Even Sherlock eats a fair amount.

The warm forest berries and egg liqueur ice-cream leave me in a state of bliss, which the cognac Mycroft serves in large glasses, does nothing to change. My hand hangs over the armrest of the comfortable chair; my fingers interlaced with Sherlock’s where our hands meet in the empty space between us. Mycroft and Greg mirror our position and now, after hours being in their company, it doesn’t seem strange at all.

I feel a bit emotional; I blame the alcohol, and I must swallow hard when Auld Lang Syne plays on the hidden music system. I vividly remember that it was sung by myself and my fellow soldiers before we got on the plane to Afghanistan. Sometimes that day seems like a lifetime ago, but right now it feels like it was just the other day. I close my eyes and lose myself in the memories and don’t realise that Sherlock has stood up and looms over me.

He reaches out his hands to me and I let him pull me out of the chair and into his embrace. His long arms encircle my shoulders and I place my head on his chest, registering that my face is wet with shed tears.

“My John. My brave captain,” Sherlock murmurs into my hair while holding me tight.

Of course, he’s picked up on my mood and the reason for it.

My brilliant detective of a fiancé.

Suddenly I feel the urge to be back home; just him and me.

“Let’s go home, John,” Sherlock says as if he’s read my thoughts. “There’s a car waiting outside.”

Many things can be said about Mycroft Holmes, but his effectiveness is never to be questioned. When Sherlock releases me and I brace myself to face the two men, I realise we’re alone in the room. In my relief, I grab Sherlock’s lapels and kisses him fiercely, conveying all my gratitude and love into the kiss.

“I love you, Sherlock Holmes,” I whisper when I withdraw.

“I love you too, John,” Sherlock retorts and strokes my cheekbone before handing me my coat.

Read it on AO3

@totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @a-victorian-girl @phoenix27884 @safedistancefrombeingsmart @raina-at @gregorovitchworld @helloliriels @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @sabsi221b

#christmas ficlet prompts #sherlock fandom #sherlock #john watson #greg lestrade #mycroft holmes #sherlock fanfic #johnlock #bbc sherlock #ao3 fanfic #december moments #respite in december

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thescienceofdeductionn · 14 days

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Stoic Perspective

This post will be some kind of addition to mindset, but also very important part. You might be wondering how it is related to deduction and Sherlock Holmes but even though we don't see Sherlock talking about Stoicism, he follows it in most cases. (Mixed with Cynicism which started around the time Diogenes lived.) So, let's see how Sherlock uses and how we can use it in our daily life.

Remember this episode? Season 1 Episode 3. Sherlock solves 5 cases in a row with some time constraints, stress factors, etc. In one scene, Watson asks, "There are lives at stake Sherlock! Actual human lives. Just so I know, do you care about that all?" and Sherlock answers with a brilliant answer: "Will caring about them help save them?" and Watson says "Nope." and then Sherlock says "Then I will continue not to make that mistake." Obviously, they show it like Sherlock doesn't care about anyone and is an egocentric narcissistic robot but that is certainly not the case. If you watch other adaptations(Granada, Elementary or even the books)Sherlock cares about other people, but not in a way normal people do. I am pointing out this scene because it shows us the attitude and mindset of Sherlock. Let's see how we can apply this in real life:

1-Caring without Emotions

"Emotional qualities are antagonistic to clear reasoning." -Sherlock Holmes

After watching Sherlock we shouldn't try to be like Sherlock, especially if we don't understand how he thinks. When he says, caring won't save them it doesn't mean he doesn't care. It just means it is not relevant and emotions won't help them in any way because it will cloud his thinking and deductions. So, what can you do in situations where stress is high and your emotions come to the surface?

1-Recognize them: Don't suppress or act like you don't have them. Just realize they are there and act accordingly. If you say "There is nothing wrong with me. I don't feel any emotions right now..." then you won't be aware of the affect they have on you.

2-Think Clearly: It is easy to say but hard to do. How can we think clearly? What does it mean? It means you have to use the relevant data and eliminate what is not. If you want to think clearly, you have to recognize your feelings, emotions etc. You have to be aware of them at every step so that when they are affecting your reasoning, you can overcome them and keep going.

3-Follow Your Logic

Sherlock doesn't call Moriarty after he solves the case because he wants to use time advantage. He wants to work on other cases and because of that, he doesn't call Moriarty. Watson is reacting with emotions and says this woman was covered with bombs all this time. Although Sherlock cares about the woman, he follows the logic. If he uses the time to his advantage, he can save more than one life but if he reacts with emotions, he will just save one. So, use your logic and act accordingly.

2-Perspective For Problems "External things are not the problem. It's your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now." -Marcus Aurelius

This can change a lot of things about how you see your problems. Let's say you have a lot of work to do and after a long day you are going home. When you arrive there, you realize your house is on fire? How would you react?

I believe, most of us would be full of emotions. Why did this happen to me? Why is life not fair? My life is over. What will I do now?

But if we just can change our perspective and practice it in our daily life we would have a very different and constructive response to the situation. Now, here is the perspective I am talking about:

Now think about the same scenario. You see that your house is on fire. You think "Can I do something about it?"->"Yes. I can call the fire department." or "No. It is too late. Everything is turned to ash." In both cases, you don't have to worry because it is already done. You can't travel back in time so you have to create your plans for the future. You can't waste time thinking about the past because it will limit your capacity to act on the future.

If you use this perspective in every situation, eventually it will become automatic and your emotional reactions will not be as strong as it is now. This way, you will be able to use your logic more easily and solve the problem you have.(Or you will stop worrying if you don't have a problem.) This is probably the fundamental perspective of Stoicism.

3-Expressing Emotions

I won't go deep into the Jungian Shadow or deep psychology of the emotions and suppressing etc but we have to be aware of this fact: The fact that if you don't express your emotions in some way, it will come out later bigger than it was.(Also, you won't be in control.)

If you watched Elementary, you know that almost in every episode Sherlock express his emotions to Watson.(Or to someone else. Which by the way is a more human adaptation of Sherlock.)He talks with her about what he feels and thinks about the situation because he can't deal with them alone. We can't deal with them alone too so we have to find some ways to express them. Here are some basic ones: 1-Talking to your Watson

If you have someone you are close to, then talk to them. Explain your feelings and emotions as clear as you can be.

2-Keeping a Journal

You won't always have an opportunity to talk with somebody so you need to talk with yourself clearly, which is what journaling does. You use words and getting things out of your head so you can analyze them more clearly. Just write and then read them aloud.

3-Physicality

If you like to work out, run, go to the gym or do any physical activity, do it. It is especially useful for anger and sadness. Try and find whatever works for you.

So, that is a general look at emotions and how to live with them. After you read this, you won't immediately detach from your emotions and act with your logic. This post is not enough, so you have to do your own reading. Some suggestions for reading: Meditations-Marcus Aurelius (Excellent example of journaling in a stoic way.) The Handbook-Epictetus Ryan Holiday's books(All relates to Stoicism)

And one last thing. Always remember these wise words:

"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength." -Marcus Aurelius

#deduction #sherlock holmes #bbc sherlock #deductive reasoning #sherlockbbc #sherlock #deductionist #observer #awareness #emotions #perspective #emotional #reflection #stoicism #seneca #philosophy #marcus aurelius #epictetus

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jeannereames · 2 months

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Do you think alexander considered hephaistion his alter-ego?

"He, too, is Alexander"

Did Alexander think of Hephaistion as his alter-ego? Quite possibly—but not by that term. For one thing, “alter-ego” is Latin, and we find it first used in writing by Cicero, although it may have been (quite possibly was) in common parlance prior.

The concept did appear to exist in Greek, but the tendency to apply it to Alexander and Hephaistion owes chiefly to two attestations. The first is the recorded meeting between Alexander, Hephaistion, and Sisygambus, wherein he supposedly said, of Hephaistion, "He, too, is Alexander." The other concerns a quip attributed to Aristotle, mentioned in Diogenes Laertus that friendship is one soul in two bodies—but this not found Aristotle's surviving works, despite a longish passage on friendship in his Nikomachian Ethics.

Without being unduly cynical, we must always take exact phrasing with a grain of salt. I think there's very little we can be certain Alexander said. Same problem with Aristotle, unless you're reading his actual writings, and even some of those are dubious, such as the infamous Ath Pol, or Constitution of the Athenians. We typically distinguish these as “pseudo-Aristotle.” (So if you see “pseudo-”some-name, that means the work is attributed to that person but almost certainly not actually written by him/her.)

So, as part of my usual ‘Let me ‘splain you why you can’t trust that story/saying…,’ let’s play some dating games here.

First, Cicero is our initial attested use of “alter ego,” in a letter to his friend Atticus, that dates the phrase to somewhere between 68-44, or middle of the first century BCE. Maybe we can push it back a little earlier to the early first century, but I’d be uncomfortable pushing it further without solid evidence. Popular terms change. Anybody call a fashionable (male) person, “That cool cat…” these days—except as a bit of a joke? I didn’t think so. 😉 But “cool” itself is otherwise still in common use. So we have to be careful about when terms are popular.

Now, the story of Alexander before Sysigamgus is best known from Curtius (3.12.16-17), but Diodoros also relates it (17.37.5-6), and so does Arrian (2.12.3-8)—although with a caveat. He says it doesn’t appear in his trusted sources (Aristoboulos or Ptolemy) but he tells it anyway, apparently because he approves of the actions in it.

We don’t know where it comes from. Maybe Kleitarchos? Possibly Kallisthenes? It does not appear in either Plutarch’s bio of Alexander or his Moralia, although normally he loved these sorts of anecdotes. There’s a good reason, however, that Plutarch doesn’t tell it (see below). Justin is just too short. (It also appears in abbreviated form in a couple of later Roman sources, Valerius Maximus and Dio Chrysostom. So it was clearly popular in the rhetorician crowd.)

So, what are the words attributed to Alexander? Diodoros’ Greek is kai gar kai outos Alexandros estin: “and for also this [man] Alexander is” (6). Arrian renders it kai gar ekeinon einai Alexandron: “and for that man is Alexander” (7). Curtius puts it, albeit in Latin, nam et hic Alexander est: “for he also Alexander is” (17). Yes, I rendered those into English pretty exactly, even if it sounds a bit funny. First, it helps show how every translation is an interpretation, but also allows us to watch the parsing itself.

None of them is exactly the same, even if the meaning is the same. That’s a good reminder we don’t have his exact phrasing!

Assuming the event even happened.

Why should we doubt it? Aside from Arrian’s skepticism?

This story feels a LOT like a classic lesson in proper clemency. I’ve talked about the importance of clemency before. The bulk of this tale is meant to show a chivalrous Alexander early in his career, before he fell victim to divine aspirations and the lure of that nasty Oriental Luxury <tm>. See what a good guy he was?! Plutarch, in his take, insists not only did Alexander not rape the royal women, he wouldn’t even look at the women. That’s probably why he doesn’t tell this story, because going to their tent absolutely IS looking at them, donchaknow. It’s even funnier because it’s Plutarch who tells us Statiera died in childbirth well, well after that baby could have been Darius’s. (Consistency? What consistency? Pfff.)

My point here is that the story may very well have been fabricated to make a MORAL point of how to be an honorable victor—whether in the era of the Successors (which grew increasingly bloody and vicious), or in the later Roman period. It would also provide a perfect example for Curtius to contrast with Alexander’s later Asian debauchery.

You may be wondering, But why would they make up an entire story like that? Wouldn’t people know?

Um, to prove my point I give you…Twitter, QAnon, and whatever quote is being attributed (wrongly) to Samuel L. Jackson this week. The more often people hear something, even a lie, the more likely they are to believe it’s true. Arrian’s other stories of after-Issos events has Leonnatos going to talk to the women, not Alexander (and Hephaistion). Of course, it’s entirely possible Leonnatos went the first evening, while Alexander and Hephaistion went the next morning. It even makes a certain amount of sense that he’d visit the royal women. So, the bare-bones of the encounter may be true, but mistaken identities and all those speeches were likely put in people’s mouths later.

Incidentally, there’s a pun in the line, as alex-andros translates to “protector of men.” So Hephaistion is also a protector of men. Romans and Greeks ate up that sort of word-play.

As for the Aristotle titbit…Diogenes Laertus reports a list of “sayings” (aphorisms) attributed to various philosophers. For Aristotle, one is: “To the query, ‘What is a friend?’ his reply was, ‘A single soul dwelling in two bodies’” (5.20). I’ve seen people claim he was referencing Alexander and Hephaistion. There’s absolutely no reason to assume that except romanticism and an Alexander-centric view. In our surviving writings by Aristotle, he barely mentions Alexander.* Shock, I know. 😂 But Alexander wasn’t at the forefront of his mind.

Additionally, as I said above, we have a longish bit on friendship in the Nikomachian Ethics, where that definition doesn’t appear, although nothing he says about true friendship in it contradicts the quote, either. But “Sayings of…” were a popular form of literature in antiquity, and sometimes a clever quip got attributed to more than one person! Maybe Aristotle did say that, but it’s not in actual writings about friendship by Aristotle. Aristotle’s writings on friendship are rather more complex; he lists three types of friendship in Book VIII.

Anyway, this little in-depth study is meant to help folks see how complicated it can be, to get back to what ALEXANDER himself said, thought, or even did.

Yet one thing ALL the sources agree upon: Hephaistion was Alexander’s favorite, not just (or even primarily) as a commander, but as a person. I’ve never read any claim to the contrary, and I have (quite literally) read everything in the ancient sources that concerns Hephaistion (and most everything that concerns Alexander too).

So, while it’s impossible to say that Alexander considered Hephaistion an “alter-ego,” or ever called him “Alexander too,” you can rest assured that every ancient source agrees that Hephaistion was dearer to Alexander than anybody else, maybe even including his own mother.

—————-

* 391a2: his “On the Universe” treatise opens with a reference to “Alexander,” who I think it’s safe to assume is the king. And 1420a5, is “Rhetoric to Alexander”--except that treatise is widely understood (even in the medieval world) to be bogus: e.g., a "pseudo-Aristotle" text. Plus Alexander is mentioned in a couple fragments.

#asks #alter-ego #Alexander the Great #Hephaistion #Hephaestion #Cicero #Alexander before the family of Darius #Sisygambus #He is Alexander too #Aristotle #clemency #Classics #Alexander the Great in Roman literature #tagamemnon

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loverinn · 6 months

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GOFUNDME, PLEASE HELP OR SHARE

I'd be very grateful if anyone donate, share, reblog or interact with this post, I know I'm not popular here but I'm going to talk a little about my situation.

My husband made this GoFundMe to help me to move with him because I suffer of family violence at home, I live in bad conditions and in a very dangerous neighborhood (I been harassed and almost kidnapped many times), my mother doesn't have a job and her boyfriend barely makes money, he does drugs and they both abuse me verbally, mentally and physically.

I'm autistic and I have hypotension, my health is going to worse because of my conditions, I'm not able to eat everyday, have most of basic needs things and I can't pay my medication (cleaning tools and cleaning products, pads, deodorant, gel, shampoo, etc) but thankfully my husband helps me a lot. My mother's boyfriend has diogenes syndrome, which makes my sensory issues and allergies worse (I'm very allergic to dust and pollen)

I'm not able to have studies because my school is far away and I don't have a transport, my mother doesn't want to take me there and she doesn't want me to have a driving license and I can't afford to buy or rent a transport for myself, also I been bullied at school and I'm very sensitive to noise.

My boyfriend is just starting a new job and he will save money to help me to move with him, but I'd be very grateful if I could live with him as earlier as possible, all the donations will be for the passport, paperwork, flight, to be able to bring all my properties, etc.

PLEASE HELP US 🙏

Any donation and interacion will be very appreciated, feel free to ask me anything.

And I guess some people are curious by how I get or have the things I post/own (plushies, coloring books, Nintendo2DS and games, etc) most of them are gifts, and all my Bolt collection is from Ebay or Vinted, the most expensive ones are gifts from my husband and the other ones costed 4$ (and some of them are birthday gifts), I take a very good care of everything I own and that's why it looks new.

I sold a lot of clothes and books to be able to get most of the things I own too (and my own food, hygiene stuff, etc)

I only see my dad 1 time every month or every 2 months, he doesn't text me nor call me, he ignores all my calls and texts begging him for help since my glasses are broken and my gums are sick because I almost don't eat and that's why he sometimes gets me a small gift like a plushie or brings me to a restaurant (every 3 or 4 weeks), that's his way to say he feels guilty.

#help #please help #gofundme #tw abuse #signal boost #boost #please donate #donation post #anything helps #please interact #urgent #please share #mine #pls reblog #mine 🐾

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megamindsupremacy · 4 months

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Misc PJO Fic Recs (Part 4)

The Stolen God by TsarinaTorment

Python is defeated. The prophecies are restored, and Nero has fallen. Apollo has not been seen since. His trials are over; why isn’t he back on Olympus?

Baby Blofis College Fund by zipadeea

Valerie calls her an hour later.

“Sally, what the hell?”

“That bad, huh?”

“Bad? Sally, it’s gold. I went from squirming in my seat to crying genuine tears. And that twist, making him a Greek god, it’s exactly what we’re looking for right now. How soon can you get me the next chapter?”

***

In which Sally Jackson realizes by the time the new baby is eighteen, a semester of college will cost an arm and a leg. And those Fifty Shades of Grey books sure did make a lot of money.

to bet on losing dogs by furnaceglow

The thing is,” Apollo said, the coolest prisoner of war in all of time. Prometheus wasn't prone to jealousy, but even he felt a drop of envy at how relaxed Apollo was in maximum security. "How to define a man…are we talking ontology here? That’s broad scope, bigger picture. We can include ourselves in that definition. Philosophy otherwise! Our good man Diogenes. You remember Diogenes! Or are we specifically talking about man for the sake of man? Is this about anthropology, is what I’m saying.” “I’m open to all interpretation,” Prometheus said. “Been a while since I’ve had good conversationalists here. Krios is all grunting, and Hyperion is solely interested in making his quarters nicer.” “Well, he has an eye for interior design, I’ll give him that,” Apollo said.

In which Percy Jackson ascends to a reluctant godhood, his mother loses the war but wins a battle, and for once, Prometheus picks the winning horse.

and if your eyes don't speak by Pixelfun20

Estelle Jackson is seven years old when she meets her nephew for the first time, over a grainy Facetime call.

Estelle grew up with stories of Percy Jackson, but it takes meeting his son to realize who he really was.

the carriage held but just ourselves by Writeous

The official story is this: Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, just two months shy of their seventh wedding anniversary, hurtle off a cliff on a lonely mountain road. A tragic accident, a sharp turn taken too quickly. Their 2023 Prius was found buried under debris, three hundred feet below where witnesses claim they fell. Paramedics declared them dead upon arrival, suffering blunt force trauma as their car collapsed with them inside.

The real story is this: Percy and Annabeth watch as Hecate’s children create perfect duplicates of them that are promptly hurled off a cliff. Percy loved that Prius.

(Or: at the end of the Titan War, Zeus offered Percy immortality. Percy was mistaken in thinking it was an actual choice.)

Dawn Rises From The East by TsarinaTorment

During the Battle of Manhattan, Michael Yew fell into the East River; his body was never found. Two years later, a homeless kid known only as Ferret has a chance encounter that changes everything he knows.

Annabeth and the Nine Step Career Plan by feeling_the_aster_9145

Annabeth Chase does not accept limitations. Everyone knows that. If she wants something, no matter how impossible, she will find a way to make it happen. Though, perhaps she will allow Bruce Wayne and his ridiculous paranoia-induced company restrictions a small portion of the credit.

Actually… now that she thinks about it, the man may have had a point in his worries.

Wayne Technologies does not accept college interns. Annabeth always has a plan B.

is it really a crime if you don't exist? by MidnightBunny

"So, what you're saying is," Percy said, staring at the man in front of him. "you're me from the future."

The man took a drink out of the coffee cup in his hand. "Yup."

"And you're here," Percy said slowly. "Because Annabeth's brother's boyfriend is trying to prove the existence of the multiverse."

The man nodded.

"And you got sucked in when he turned it on."

Nod.

"And now you don't know how to get home."

Nod.

"And how did you get sucked in, again?"

The man mumbled something.

"What?"

"I was coming back from the bathroom and opened the wrong door."

(I'm so excited this one is back y'all, the author privated all her works but just unprivated them a few weeks back so now I'm recommending you read all of her stuff, especially this fic)

Son of Sea Foam by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

“She’ll never claim me,” he whispered. Silena shook her head, eyes wild as she looked around for anyone who could be watching.

“My mother doesn’t remember half of her children as it is,” she said with a note of bitterness. “If you do something to impress her, it won’t matter. Return the bolt in her name. She’ll claim you if you act the part. If you stay unclaimed then they'll figure out what you really are," she said, squeezing his hands tightly. Percy's heart sped up.

"I - I don't know the first thing about Aphrodite-"

"My mother was born of sea foam," Silena cut him off. "And if you're really who I think you are... you are the sea. You can pull this off," she said and touched his cheek. "Get the bolt. Survive," she said. Percy swallowed.

"What if I can't act the part?" He asked. Silena's expression went blank for a moment. Slowly, she slipped off her bracelet and placed it in his hands.

"If you're going to be one of us... you better learn."

AU where Percy has to hide the fact he's a Big Three kid otherwise he'll be killed on the spot. Unfortunately for him, unclaimed kids tend to raise the most suspicion... but he might have found a loophole in the form of Aphrodite.

#mads posts #percy jackson #pjo fic recs #fic recs #pjo fic rec list #riordanverse fic rec list #riordanverse fic recs

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edgelordfucker · 2 years

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Ok picture this reader climbing up onto Belos’ head like a raccoon

She has the strength and muscle to climb his height (I like to think that the reader is considerably short like 5’4 max) and Belos is able to sustain their weight on his head because he’s literally seven and a half feet tall WITHOUT his Emperor gear on with it on he is NINE FEET TALL so y/n is just like picking up a feather to him

CONSIDERABLY SHORT AT 5'4 MAX. ANON I AM HITTING YOU WITH A STICK. ANON. ANON HOW TALL ARE YOU. I'M 5'2 ((and a half)) AND NORMAL ABOUT IT (clearly) SO IF 5'4 IS THE CUT-OFF FOR "considerably short" WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME. ANON. COME OVER HERE ANON I JUST WANT TO TALK.

jfsdjkf sorry this isn't exactly what you asked for, but it's the first thing that came to mind that made me laugh! I hope you like it! 🖤🖤🖤 ((Quick set-dressing, I'm pretending that there's a big 'Coven Day Fun Day' before the parade, like a cross between a field day and a carnival, where all of the coven heads come, and they invite the brightest from their covens and their families, and some members of the public, so it's a whole big thing, and that's where the reader and Belos are.))

"Alright, so-" You put your hands on your waist, sizing up the tree and the black balloon tangled in its branches. "You can't reach it, and, I mean, I could-" Belos snorts. "Look, I'm sorry that you feel like you need to see my telescoping bones to believe that I have them, when it's super common knowledge that all humans just have telescoping bones." You glance at him, askance, and then add, with the utmost pity, "That's sad for you."

"I just find it interesting that this 'common knowledge' only came up last week," he replies, doing some consideration of both the tree and the balloon himself. "While you were losing at Witch Scrabble."

"Fuckin'- I have a pancreas." You bobble your head at him. "We've never talked about my pancreas, but I for sure have that. Do you doubt my-" you motion generally at the entirely wrong spot for a pancreas to be in you body. "-pancreasity since I didn't introduce myself like," you hold your hand out to him for a handshake, with overwrought enthusiasm, "Hi! My name is-" Suddenly, a loud bird cries out overhead, drowning you out for a split second, "-and I have telescoping bones and a pancreas!" You let your hand drop, shrugging sarcastically. "I'm sorry that I don't perform bones on command."

"That's not where the pancreas is."

"Oh, so you believe that I have a pancreas, and not telescoping bones? Sight unseen?" you shoot back.

"I know you have a pancreas," he starts, haughty, "because I have a pancreas, and humans and witches have the organ in a similar place." You splutter.

"Fuckin'- Okay, Diogenes, if you use yourself as a ruler to measure against every experience, does that make every plucked chicken a man? Just because you're seven and a half fucking feet tall, does that make me small? No! Because you're a big, big, man." The cadence of the last words makes him think you're referencing something, but it's beyond him.

"Plato." He slips it into your brief pause for breath.

"What?" This stops you in your tracks.

"Plato defined a man as a featherless biped. You would be Diogenes, if I'm following your argument."

"Why," you ask, cocking a hip, "do you know that?"

"Actually," he adds, in a bid to redirect your attention, "I would call you considerably short."

"I would call you a bigot, and divorced." A sensation of warmth settles over him. This is one of his favorite of your rhetorical devices, letting him know that you were married only when you playfully divorce him. Belos shifts his weight towards you, crowding further into his already intimate occupation of your space.

"We're not married," he says, softly. A strand of hair has worked itself loose in the wind, and he tucks it behind your ear, tracing the hollow of it with his fingertips.

"That makes it even easier to file the paperwork," you reply, just as gentle. As he pulls his hand back, you catch it to steal a quick kiss from his knuckles, looking straight into his eyes beyond the mask, before you let it fall into place at his side. His heart gives a hard thump.

"It just seems like," he says, trying to wrestle the conversation into his control, "it would be easier to use your. 'Telescoping bones'," his tone lends a dubious drip to the words, "instead of...," he gestures with a put-upon vagueness, "let's say, for example, sitting on the floor of the kitchen-"

"Stop," you cut in, with an affected flatness, already seeing what he's getting at.

"-crying." He pauses just long enough for it to poke at you, without you being able to talk over him. "Because you couldn't reach the top cabinet."

"I wasn't- I didn't cry, I just teared up a little bit-" He tilts his head.

"I distinctly remember tears."

"I was! Sweaty! From navigating your freakish counters-"

"Which would've been much easier to do with telescoping arms."

"Show me your pancreas." It takes Belos a split second to switch gears, and you pounce. "Show me. Pull it out. Show me your pancreas."

"My... pancreas? My pancreas that is inside of me?"

"You process sugar? You consume glucose? Lemme see it."

"What do you think a pancreas does?"

"You can't gaslight me about the pancreas - it's my best friend, and it has a tail."

"I thought that I was your best friend."

"Not right now!"

The breeze picks up, and your balloon shivers dangerously against the branches, the string slipping just a little looser. You gasp.

"No! My balloon!" Turning to him with a disproportionate determination than the situation warrants, you continue, "Look. We have something at stake here bigger than the telescoping bones that all humans have, and the fact that you're wrong to doubt me when I say that I have telescoping bones." Belos kisses his teeth. "We gotta get up there. And I think, with our powers combined-" You shake yourself. "Wait- You're fucking magic!"

"No, please," there is a wild glee in his voice, as he makes some assumptions, "I want to see where this is going."

"No! Do some magic, magic man. Why have we been standing here-"

"You've been very insistent about your pancreas, and I didn't want to interrupt. Only polite."

"Sh- stop. Balloon." You point at it. He looks to you, down the line of your arm, to the balloon, where it is nervously knocking against a particularly menacing branch, and then back to you.

"I'm terribly sorry, but, unfortunately, I don't perform on command."

"That's bullshit. If you're not gonna get it, I'm just going to use you as a step ladder," you threaten.

"That would make this years 'Coven Day Fun Day' very interesting, now wouldn't it?"

You glance over to the side, where there are several poorly concealed photographers, and one that is using an illusion to make it look like they're poorly concealed; Belos can see straight through it, and startles them by looking at them directly.

"Helluva photo-op," you say, doubtful. Oh. Oh, that would be good, wouldn't it? Well, maybe not you climbing him like a racoon - he shivers. Creepy little hands - but... Belos can see it in his minds eye. A glimpse of your romance, the imposing Emperor gallantly lifting his Lady, all for something so simple and frivolous? Tender, sweet, just a little silly and sentimental. Yes. Yes, he likes that.

And he really needs something other than the catastrophic failure of the 'Scary-Go-Round' that he's been trying to ensure that you don't notice to dominate the evening news.

You're standing more-or-less directly under the balloon, and Belos comes around to stand in front of you, casting a quick spell to muffle the click of the shutters, so that you won't get distracted when the cameras start flashing. You look up at him, head tilted.

"Hold on," he says, dipping down to grab your waist.

"To wh-huh?!" Belos picks you up easily, quickly switching his hold from your waist to brace his forearms under your bottom, supporting your weight, and letting you get your balance with your hands on his shoulders. "I'm not cleared for this airspace!" you squeak.

"I've got you," he soothes.

"Oh, wow," you say, adjusting remarkably quickly. You use one hand to shade your eyes as you twist slightly against him, getting a good view of the fairground a little ways away. "You can see so many things up here! Damn." You look to him again, giving him a big, beautiful smile. "Hi!"

"Hello," he returns, his own soft grin clear in his voice.

"This is neat. I normally only ever see you like this when we're horizontal," you remark.

"Are you going to get your balloon?" he gently reminds you.

"Oh! Right, yeah-" You reach above, easily catching the string. He tips his head back, watching as you carefully tie one end into a loop, making a quick slip knot, and secure it to your wrist. Then, you return your hand to his shoulder. "Our powers combined!" you exclaim, oh-so-pleased. You get so excited over the littlest things. It's wildly endearing.

Belos carefully starts to lower you as you each watch the other. Your eyes dip down to where his mouth is covered by the mask, and he pauses your descent when your faces are level on instinct. With a quiet laugh, you lean forward to kiss him. His lips tingle where they go untouched, and there are gasps from the photographers that make it past his spell. There's a soft noise as you break the kiss, and into a self-conscious smile as he lets you get your feet.

"C'mon," you say, taking him by the hand, "we're late for the Coven Head Bean-Bag race. My money's on Lilith."

"I don't know, I've heard that Adrian's been practicing," he replies, allowing himself to be lead.

#emperor belos x reader #belos x reader #toh x reader #the owl house x reader #whew lad #another quick one #replies #THE AUTHOR DOES NOT SHARE BELOS' OPINIONS ON RACOONS #my stuff

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atinyladybug-daydreams · 2 years

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20 Random Personnel HCs no one asked for but I'm giving it here anyway because why not.

I'm bored and I want to think about the clowns. I also want to talk about the clowns.

Glass doesn't like it when he comes to work and sees something wearing the same shirt as he is. That being said, he keeps a few extra sweaters in his office to change into when someone does wear the same shirt as him

Bright has a collection of different types and designs of canes. She invests in it a lot because it's the one familiar thing- aside from 963 which she actively hates, in her body hopping problem. Her favourite is the hotpink offset cane with spikes.

Kondraki carries condiment packets in his pockets all the time. No one knows why. No one sees him restock it. He just always have it. "That bastard Clef always need them," is his answer everytime he's asked.

Gears carries an antique watch in his pocket. You can see the chain from his labcoat. He wants to give it to Alison one day.

Yoric also has a pocket watch given by Jack. It doesn't work anymore but he still keep it on him at all times. Says it's his lucky charm.

Jack completely disowned Yoric's parents. They're no longer part of the official Bright family tree too. Most the family shuns them. They're wary of Yoric most the time because of that.

The pocket watches were definitely matching for Gears and Jack as a sign of their friendship. It's also viewed as an heirloom.

Yoric can play the guitar and sing. He's also knows how to tap dance. No one knows where he learned it or when.

Clef's hawaiian shirt are all special and unique. Some even had extra stuff added to it- much like Mabel's sweaters from Gravity Falls. He definitely has one hawaiian shirt with led-lights sewn into the pattern.

In case of a blackout, Clef is a really good glowstick/source of light because for some reason all his shirts glow in the dark.

Diogenes definitely has tampons and pads at their desk/bag/pocket at all times and will whip them out when someone starts bleeding (not from injury).

Diogenes and Lament are pretty close and they have lunch a lot together to bitch about stuff and gossip. They're also drinking buddies. Also, they're up to date with the latest workplace drama and tea.

Iceberg met Lament once and they had an office chair race down the hallway. There was a really big betting pool on who would win. Jack was the one who started it.

Cimmerian hates store-bought butter and makes his own butter. Yes, it's more expensive. No, he doesn't care.

Finding Iceberg in summer clothing is very common during the winter months as he does not get cold. Hot Girl Summer got delayed. It's Depressing Incel Winter for Iceberg. Also he wears crop tops. I will not change my mind

Jack and Gears are childhood friends. Gears is almost as old as Jack is- if not perhaps a year or two older.

Jack is surprisingly a good cook. In fact, she enjoys cooking a lot. It's one of the things that they like to do to shift their focus away from depressing thoughts.

No one really notices but Gears' love language is feeding people. If he likes you, he buys you lunch and brings you snacks a lot.

Glass definitely once tried baking pot brownies. He says it's for the science but it was actually beacuse he lost a bet with Jack and Clef and had to bake it for them.

Clef smokes weed and definitely has a stash in his office, car and home. Kondraki joined him once. Never again.

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northeasternwind · 2 months

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Considering writing a short Frogwares Games/Canon (or more likely Granada since then I don't have to deal with Watson's marriage I'M SORRY MARY I JUST LIKE SIMPLICITY) crossover isekai thing where the wave at the end of The Awakened dumps frogwares!boys into a parallel dimension and now Canon Holmes and Watson have to sit here and watch going oh god. We're fathers now

Canon!Holmes: I think a trip to the Diogenes is in order here

Frogwares!Holmes: a trip to the what

Canon!Holmes: WHAT DO YOU MEAN A TRIP TO THE WHAT oh god it's worse than I thought

Poor Sherlock and Watson get to deal with their Cthulhu trauma by obtaining two middle-aged fathers. For literally zero reason I love the fanon that Holmes's father is the one who taught him to box, so he learns that Frogwares!Holmes can't box, immediately deduces half his tragic backstory, goes oh my god you poor child and then realizes holy shit I have an intellectual equal and I can teach him boxing.

Frogwares!Holmes is traumatized but maybe beating up his "older brother" will help. LMFAO.

My idea here is to posit that the fanon "eldest brother Sherrinford" does exist but died stillborn in Frogwares verse, causing the Holmes couple to wait a little longer between babies and making them more demonstrably affectionate toward the sons they did have. Canon Mycroft is as chill as he is because his parents were SUPER detached and he wasn't expected to inherit the estate, so Canon Holmes learns that Frogwares!Sherrinford and the Diogenes club don't exist and puts it all together like HEAD IN HANDS

(Meanwhile canon Watson can say FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T GIVE HIM ANY DRUGS HE DOESN'T CONSENT TO, IT'S HARD ENOUGH KEEPING HIM AWAY FROM THE ONES HE DOES even though I suspect Frogwares!Holmes has a rather different relation with medicine in general OOP)

I haven't even STARTED on Jon yet, lordt

#sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes the awakened #sherlock holmes: chapter one #sherlock holmes chapter one #sherlock holmes: the awakened #im new here is there a tag we all agreed upon I will happily switch to that #Holmes realizes that if their Mycroft never cofounded the Diogenes then he must not need or want it #which is a terrifying thought because only one thing could stop Mycroft from being Comfy Silence Routine #and that is Fear basically #jeremy Brett's backstory for Holmes fits nicely into this #I just want Holmes and Watson to be like. GUESS WE'RE DADS NOW #frogwares Holmes is embarrassed that his older self is more physically capable than he is #but is subconsciously associating him with Mycroft and thus being petulant about it LMAO

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mariana-oconnor · 10 months

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The Final Problem pt 2

Last time, Holmes turned up at Watson's home having survived three attempts on his life and a mysterious meeting with ex-Professor Moriarty, and invited Watson on an impromptu trip abroad. Watson, of course, said yes. I am absolutely sure that nothing bad is going to happen to either them. Definitely not in Switzerland. Maybe they'll see a nice waterfall, though. I've heard Switzerland is beautiful this time of year.

Watson does very well at remembering Holmes' instructions. I would not be able to do that.

I spent a few minutes in assisting a venerable Italian priest, who was endeavouring to make a porter understand, in his broken English, that his luggage was to be booked through to Paris.

Is Holmes pretending to be an Italian priest? I feel like Watson should be more aware of the possibility of a disguise.

Also, the fact it turns out that Watson's Italian is terrible. Holmes totally chose that disguise to troll the fuck out of him. A+ friendship move, even when running for his life.

"My dear Watson," said a voice, "you have not even condescended to say good-morning."

Yeah, so rude. How dare you not say hello to your friend who is clearly sitting right there and not at all an Italian priest.

"They set fire to our rooms last night. No great harm was done."

First: how dare! Baker Street, my beloved! Second: despite the fact that it has been clearly established in part 1 that Watson is very married and very living with his wife rn, Holmes still refers to them as 'our rooms'.

"It was my brother Mycroft. It is an advantage to get about in such a case without taking a mercenary into your confidence."

OK, so he did appear in this story... actually doing something for once. This is a clear sign that things must be dire if Mycroft has pried his seal-like form from his well worn chair in the Diogenes Club to drive a carriage through the streets of London. Honestly, I feel like there should be a system of measurement for direness that is purely how much Mycroft is willing to move to deal with it.

"As this is an express, and as the boat runs in connection with it, I should think we have shaken him off very effectively."

Because this goes directly to one place and then that goes directly to another place, both of which are official and easily discovered by looking at a timetable, clearly we have escaped the people pursuing us. They will never catch us now!

Watson? I get what you're saying. But please think through the logic a little bit more.

"In the meantime we shall treat ourselves to a couple of carpet-bags, encourage the manufactures of the countries through which we travel, and make our way at our leisure into Switzerland, via Luxembourg and Basle."

Nothing bad ever happens in Switzerland.

"There are limits, you see, to our friend's intelligence. It would have been a coup-de-matre had he deduced what I would deduce and acted accordingly."

We're only playing 3 dimensional chess today, not 4 dimensional. I did wonder.

"I might have known it!" he groaned. "He has escaped!"

He did know you were coming for him. And when... Like. If I knew I was going to be arrested for a certain thing at a certain time, I'd make sure to be somewhere else, too, and I don't claim to be a criminal mastermind. Honestly, this seems inevitable.

"I should certainly recommend you to return to your practice."

Does Watson still have a practice? At what point does it become his neighbour's practice? Will his patients even recognise him?

For a charming week we wandered up the Valley of the Rhone, and then, branching off at Leuk, we made our way over the Gemmi Pass, still deep in snow, and so, by way of Interlaken, to Meiringen.

This is the literary equivalent of elevator music.

Doo do doo do dooo dodoododoo doo do doo do dooo dodoododoo

In an instant Holmes had raced up on to the ridge, and, standing upon a lofty pinnacle, craned his neck in every direction.

We had strict injunctions, however, on no account to pass the falls of Reichenbach, which are about half-way up the hill, without making a small detour to see them.

They sound lovely. Excellent place for a picnic lunch. Clearly nothing bad could happen there.

Although little sus whoever told them that they absolutely had to go see them. Hm?

It is indeed, a fearful place. The torrent, swollen by the melting snow, plunges into a tremendous abyss, from which the spray rolls up like the smoke from a burning house. The shaft into which the river hurls itself is an immense chasm, lined by glistening coal-black rock, and narrowing into a creaming, boiling pit of incalculable depth, which brims over and shoots the stream onward over its jagged lip.

Delightful. 10/10 would visit again. Love how it's described as being 'half-way up the hill', then 'TREMENDOUS ABYSS'. I know this is Watson's PTSD speaking, but the tonal whiplash is getting me, ngl.

We had turned to do so, when we saw a Swiss lad come running along it with a letter in his hand. It bore the mark of the hotel which we had just left, and was addressed to me by the landlord.

...the die is cast, the scene is set...

The appeal was one which could not be ignored. It was impossible to refuse the request of a fellow-countrywoman dying in a strange land.

Almost like it was... designed...

Along this a man was, I remember, walking very rapidly.

There was Holmes's Alpine-stock still leaning against the rock by which I had left him. But there was no sign of him, and it was in vain that I shouted. My only answer was my own voice reverberating in a rolling echo from the cliffs around me.

Well, I certainly didn't see that one coming.

Seriously, though. This is pretty heart-rending to actually think about. Watson just alone on the cliff side, screaming his friend's name into the tremendous abyss.

Then trying to apply Holmes' methods (because that's always gone so well before). Then finding the letter.

Strangely nice of Moriarty to let Holmes write the letter, but I suppose he thought that when he'd tossed Sherlock over the cliff he could just destroy it anyway.

An examination by experts leaves little doubt that a personal contest between the two men ended, as it could hardly fail to end in such a situation, in their reeling over, locked in each other's arms.

The inherent eroticism of plunging to your death with your nemesis, locked in each other's arms.

...him whom I shall ever regard as the best and the wisest man whom I have ever known.

Fs in the notes.

So... I guess that's the last one, then. No more Sherlock Holmes stories after that. Nope. Well, that was fun. Thanks Watson, sorry about your friend.

#Letters from Watson #Sherlock Holmes #The Final Problem #No more Holmes stories now #Welp #Guess I'll have to find something else to blog about #Pity about the downer ending though

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swamplatibule · 1 year

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hello madd tumblr. assuming you have no clue who this is (it’s Eli) will you do me a favor and tell me what details about him you can find in this picture

Brighter version under the cut if needed

#maladaptive daydreaming #paraportal #madd #madd art #actuallymadd #<- using the main tags because they’re mostly dead anyway and I need to do my part to revive them even if it means overtagging my shit #paracosm: wicked wheels #para: eli #“that’s not a good drawing” I know #it doesn’t need to be GOOD it just needs to serve a PURPOSE which is TO BE A SHOW DONT TELL EXERCISE #diogenes does a thing

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biddyfox · 1 year

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BOYMODERS UNION, ONE YEAR LATER

a year (+6 days) ago i released this album. boymoders union is an album about anxiety. it ended up representing it in more ways than I ever intended but that's fine, sometimes art does that

a concept record, it was intended as a commentary on commodification of subculture and a criticism of hedonism, but also a kind of deliberately silly and over-the-top cyberpunk thing. it presents this anxious dystopic absurd party future in its first half and contrasts it in the second half with an escape to the wilderness, more natural sounds, guitars. it's only the first half of the story it was meant to tell, but even its minor popularity led to me not wanting to finish it.

it's about an ambiguously voluntary cybernetically immortal mindwiped prostitute who escapes captivity to become a hired gun and search for a purpose in life. it was based on a character outline I wrote for a TTRPG that never got started. the world of this album is kind of like, all art has been colonized and even the most transgressive self expression is re-aimed towards thoughtless hedonism and desensitization, turned into consumer fashion. art and branding are no longer separate, unmarketability is extinct. common and easy methods of reviving the dead plummet the value of human life, allowing ultraviolence to reign. it's kind of pulpy, inspired by FPS plots, except it's an album instead.

the music is like, really diverse influences, IDM, chiptune, experimental hip hop, indie rock, breakbeat. a recurring musical element is complex post-hardcore style guitar imitated by various default MIDI sounds. the element that draws it together is overwhelming volume and density. it's loud and layered, which was fun to do.

I didn't take the response to this album well and have had a complex relationship to it since but reevaluating it has made me realize that I kind of fucking love it. I'm really proud of this record. I want people to listen to it and I'm glad they did.

#my music #biddyfox #my art #alexander diogenes #boymoders union #rym #hyperpop #Bandcamp

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wanderinghearth · 1 year

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WITCHCRAFT IS A FREE ACTIVITY. IT SHOULD COST YOU $0. HERE'S HOW:

Become comfortable with plastic.

It is everywhere. It is the materialistic kudzu that has covered our natural world. It is inescapable, it’s inside you right now, and you’d do best to acknowledge that. Glass jars are expensive, heavy, and becoming harder to get your hands on. I use glass jars maybe two or three times a month, but I guarantee I threw away plastic yesterday. Start storing your shit in plastic. I know, you think it looks ugly, but the whole world looks ugly. Put something beautiful in something ugly and transform it. That’s magic, baby!

Relax with the crystals.

Crystals are cool, I totally get it. You gotta love a crystal. But unfortunately, they are expensive, non-local, and oftentimes acquired in inhumane ways. If you have crystals, that’s great. Probably stop buying them. Instead, march your spooky little ass down to the library and pick up a book on local geology. Make up your own correspondences for the stuff you can find in your neighborhood. Go on rock collecting journeys. Keep those rocks in plastic Tupperware containers.

Fuck those far flung herbs.

If it isn’t native to where you live or very easy to get your hands on at a grocery store, seriously, forget about it. You don’t need it. It isn’t worth the money, and you have no fucking idea what it is. You’ll never see it grow in its natural habitat, you’ll never run your hand across it’s living leaves, or water its living roots. You do not know it. It cannot work for you. Figure out what you need, and then find something near you that will give that to you.

The only tool you need is you.

I know, I know. But the athame and the wand and the cauldron and the mortar and pestle and the-- No. Just you. All that stuff is just stuff someone told you that you needed to do the same thing they’re doing. But you don’t want to do the same thing they’re doing. You wanna do your thing, which is so much cooler. You need an herb ground? Chew it up. You need a wand, you’ve got a finger. You need a cauldron? Channel the spirit of Diogenes and to all your spellwork in a cupped hand. If you wanna find/make some tools to make your spellwork easier, that’s great. They shouldn’t cost you anything. You have everything you need.

STEAL.

This will be my most contentious point, and I expect some nerdbrained copyright groupie to come at me whining about intellectual property, but I’m an anarchist. You’re not going to get through to me. I’ll just get worse.

You should steal. You should steal that witchcraft book. You should steal that cinnamon from the grocery store. Download that pdf. Pocket that pretty rock. Dive that dumpster. Take those office supplies home. Capitalism steals from all of us every single day. Steal back. Stealing is a ritual of desire and release, like orgasms or sleeping.

If you want to maintain some sort of moral framework about it, like that you only steal from small business or stores whose logo contains the color blue, that's your problem, but I don’t wanna hear about it. I would like to point out that those small businesses you’re so concerned about do not play the same game. They pay their workers low wages and buy products from sweatshops and gentrify the street just the same as the walmart does. They are not your friends just cuz there's a pretty white lady smiling behind the counter. I don’t bother with the unnecessary puritanical rule-making.

Let yourself go.

Untie the restraints. Unlatch the straight jacket. Let the secret desires come out. Stretch your arms. Run a mile. Take what you want from your microscopic life, without feeling like you owe the world your suffering. The magic hides in the unclaimed freedom, in the feeling of the key sliding into the lock. Do it. DO it. DO IT.

#witchcraft #occult #magic #anarchism #free witchcraft #how to #tut

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no-side-us · 1 year

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Letters From Watson Liveblog - Apr. 7

The Greek Interpreter, Part 1 of 3

Sometimes Watson says things like this, and I wonder why when he himself has seen many moments of sympathy from Sherlock. You'd think it's the sort of impression only someone unfamiliar with him would have.

I love learning about Sherlock's history. I looked it up, and there were a few French artists named Vernet, but the one commonly associated with Sherlock seems to be Émile Jean-Horace Vernet.

So Watson finally learns about Mycroft, the smarter, more mysterious older brother, all because Sherlock wanted to win an argument.

Speaking of said argument, that does make me wonder whether their shared skill in observation and reasoning is actually hereditary, or if the fact they likely grew up in the same environment meant they both simply acquired their skills in the same manner.

Ah, and another cornerstone of Sherlock Holmes lore is cemented. Also, I've never realized it before but the club is obviously named for Diogenes the Cynic, an apt name for a place where no one wants to talk.

I bet I won't be the only one to highlight this line. It does make me want to ask if today there actually exists a club in London for queer people that is called the Diogenes Club, cause I bet this line could be used as a great slogan or something.

This was always an interesting little tidbit, that Sherlock sometimes goes to Mycroft for help. I wonder what cases, if any, of those we read might have had Sherlock send a quick telegram to his brother, just to ask.

And we finally see Mycroft in the flesh! Watson's line here seems to imply that Mycroft is always just at full observational and reasoning capacity, which is so cool.

You know, I was pretty pleased with Watson for not describing Mycroft poorly even though he's quite a larger man, and then Watson had to go and make this comment comparing his hands to a seal's flippers.

Oooh, deduction battle!

Now, I've seen some fans criticizing this scene, saying that the picture book and rattle is something Sherlock should normally be able to observe, but he doesn't here because the story wants to make Mycroft smarter.

However, I like to look at the scene as though there's a bit of rivalry present, not the animosity seen in some adaptations, but a friendly bit of showing off. And with Watson here, Sherlock is just a little too eager and, shall I say, rattled to think as clearly as he does. Also, I doubt either Holmes brother is taking this seriously, they seem to just be having fun, that's all.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

#letters from watson #the greek interpreter #sherlock holmes #john h watson #mycroft holmes #arthur conan doyle #liveblogging sherlock holmes

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