If you don't mind my asking, what tropes did d////l give Lance that had lasting effects? I didn't bother reading it after I saw Lance's message name be "president taquito" bc like as a latina i don't fuck with that ya feel? I'm always interested in your opinions in these types of things bc we are p similar!

lmao oh trust, i totally feel you on that. i read that and i was like... you guys really didnt see a problem with a white girl writing this fic until chapter 9?? really??? BUT, topic for another day!! i’m gonna try and remember some of it because it’s been a while, but

his last name being sanchez for one thing. at the time, nobody knew he was cuban, but even after the reveal he was, the author never even bothered to change that bc she did ‘supposedly’ edit the fic after criticism. but sanchez is still such a popularly used name for lance even tho it’s not a good cuban last name at all.

the family dynamics in that fic oh my god

basically lance has a big family in canon, we know this. but that doesnt automatically mean everyone in that pic is lances siblings. they could be aunts, uncles, cousins, w/e. and im pretty sure this fic gave lance like 6-7 siblings?? anyway legit when you find a Bad Fic it always has the lots of siblings, big family, things like that

the really traditional/homophobic relatives. i still don’t see fics where any of the other characters besides lance deal with homophobic rhetoric from their family besides lance’s even today. legit read this fic maybe not even a month or two ago where it ended with lance getting a broken arm from his dad for being in a relationship with keith.

just the demonization of lance’s dad in general is a pretty common trope, altho idk if that has to do with dl or not. it’s just common, but it could stem from that.

also the teenage pregnancy thing with the sister. like.... anyways.

(i.e. like pidge’s family is legit the typical nuclear family, but no one makes them homophobic to her or anything like that. i wonder why)

all the fucking la chancla jokes. luckily i dont see this anymore in fics, but back when i first joined the fandom there were so many memes and fanarts abt lance getting la chancla (from allura usually.... i wonder why.....) it was gross

lance only listening to gasolina/shakira. its still a popular trope i wanna die.

OH SHIT AND I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT ALL THE LANCE IN SOMBREROS FANARTS IM S CREAMING

lance being really aggressive, keith being really passive. 

this is still really common in fics and i dont know why??  its a flip, you either get aggressive lance or aggressive keith in most fics, but dirty l@undry really took the cake with reinforcing aggressive lance. they make lance really mean/hateful/cruel to keith instead of the actual bickering in the show. idk if he was sexually aggressive like a lot of other fics make him, but he was definitely a big asshole to keith in this fic.

they gave lance a pet chicken. a pet chicken. 

i remember there was a slight surge of those types of fics where lance would have real like farm based animals as pets and im like.... uhhhh... okay lmao

some of these like.. had worse impacts than others (i.e. the family stuff mostly. especially with the homophobia and bad latino dad tropes. and lance being demonized and made to look more aggressive than he is in canon most def) but all of these legit like... really inspired and created a lot of Bad Fics afterwards and a lot of bad art/hcs on tumblr too blaghhhh

9 Anti LO Asks

1. anyone else notice echo is colored similar to hades too? so hades has the hots for a tiny hot pink variant of his mom, and hera (apparently) wants to sleep around with a female version of hades? rachel you know there are other colors, right? tell me you know that

2. hi, im someone who dated someone who was extremely hateful but considered me one of the "good ones" of my race: hera doing that with echo is extremely dehumanizing and, seeing as nymphs are a different race in LO, really racist! i understand there's no actually IRL races involved in LO, but the fantasy racism allegory is still there, and they all look bad! very, very bad! why am i not surprised the well off white lady would have unintentionally bad race takes in her comic! big yikes!

3. server x royal and boss x worker is VERY popular on webtoons in general, but at the very least the majority of them are all 21+ characters with emphasis on them being, well, adults. LO stands out because hades is depicted so much like an old man even by WT standards (40s according to RS) and persephone is ... not, she in canon is stuck at 19, so she's more akin to a high school MC than the MCs from adult/sex-filled romance comics that LO tries to be. It's kinda creepy for that fact, tbh.

4. with recent anons i have to say again that it's unlikely RS puts any of the harmful shit into her work with any ill intent. she's just ignorant and also doesn't think. except maybe that classism because it's so blatant that it's hard to believe RS really doesn't notice it??? is she ever going to bring it up??

5. thats what i dont get about the stans. they've been flooding every single mythology and pagan tag for years now where they shouldnt be, they've harassed and threatened pagans and greeks for not bowing to LO and RS's "genius", they've tried to tamper with actual wikipedia pages, and have doxxed and sent death/r*pe threats to critics and fans alike, but they act like tumblr having a broken tag system is our fault and we must accommodate them? these are grown adults acting like entitled children.

6. i dunno if anyone remembers the "Our company's Women of Color" meme that was just a bunch of white women in rainbow-colored shirts, but ... lore olympus. that's lore olympus. i havent seen that meme since 2015 but its LO to a fault. rachel thinks women of color means purple and pink.

7. wait is rs going to make hera x echo a canon thing? didnt hera torture and basically magic murder echo in myth? how is that a healthy relationship? then again this whole comic is about romanticizing a r*pist and his kidnapping and forced marriage of his victim into a "love story", so i guess its not shocking rachel has some bad takes on "improved" pairings for her girlboss, karen version of hera.

8. As a response to your most recent anon, as a Greek myself, the story is just the same old boring cliche of romanticizing a part of our mythology, same as Percy Jackson or Song of Achilles (another cheap attempt of making profit out of a culture that doesn't belong to them, but eh)...Our mythology has been SO overused and 'defiled' that honestly, it is mostly makes me indifferent than it makes me displeased..Not only Americans but also Europeans have been leeching off of our cultural history for EONS and no matter what we do, they will continue to do so...my word of advice to anyone thinking they are offending Greece or smthng by enjoying these pieces of media is that it is okay if you like them, some of us like them too, some of us don't, it happens..just remember that whatever you read is most certainly a retelling and that the actual material is much less 'enjoyable'

9. So I dropped Lore Olympus a while back...I liked it at first, considering it just a simple piece of media to consume but some people criticizing it had some really good points...so after some consideration I stopped reading it..but lemme just say, the death threats and blatant hate ain't it..it is entirely possible to like a story AND being able to see the flaws in it...all the antis sending death threats to fan content creators and calling fans "apologists" was too extreme...everyone is allowed to have their own opinion on the media they choose to consume and sending hate to one another is a completely pointless notion🤷

Ok im gonna make a disclaimer

I am way too attached to this character

He was my first latino character and when i first read him i saw no flaws because he was me and i didnt see that latino characters deserved better than be a walking stereotype of our cultures

With the only thing to show for it a few badly phrased spanish words

When i did, it hurt

Hurt to see how many harmful stereotypes he had and how bad rep he actually was if you analized enough

But I dont think anything hurt more than seeing how the fandom treated him.

So leo canonically has adhd, a lot of characters do have adhd but

Out of all of them

Hes one of the worse at masking

Hes hyperactive and bad at socializing even if he fakes it and makes up for feeling fundamentally flawed with jokes and manes up for not being able to fit in anywhere by degrading his value

I think he does stim in page but id need to reread i havent in so long

HE DOES THAT THING WHERE YOU CONVINSE YOURSELVE YOU DONT NEED ANYONE BECAUSE YOU WORK BETTER ALONE

WHILE HE HAS FRIENDS

But he just feels like they all have better things than him

There was this short story where there was a festival in camp and his friends invited him but he said he had work and that it was totally cool, but he just didnt wanna go. And had a few phrases that even after month he just didnt feel like he fit in and prefered to work on things he knew

And is always getting people mad at him cause hes blunt and always ends up saying the wrong things

But he is endlessly loyal

And he is a genius fae

Like an actual genius

He knew how to do college level math at 7 years old

He build an entire ship ON HIS OWN

Hes is the smartest heroes of olympus characters only rival (if that) to the daughet IF THE GODESS OF WISDOM

And yes he makes some rash decision making and some mistakes BECAUSE YOU KNOW

HE IS ADHD

But when you come to the fandom

They treat him like an idiot

They make jokes that he cant do things and reduce him to only being distracted and messing things up

Burning things with his fire powers

And being a comedic reliefe for the rest of the crew

They treat him like an absolute idiot

And it hurts because he is a genius and he is brilliant HE ONLY HAS ADHD

If you go through the leo tag

All you'll see are jokes about him being an idiot

Flirting with everything that moves

And reducing him only to his jokes

I hate it

HE IS CANONICALLY SMART HES JUST ND

I saw a meme once that was like the hands touching meme, you know like putting your hand in a pile up? Did I explain that right? With three hands pabeled Jesper Fahey, Leo Valdez, and Alex Claremont-Diaz and then the pile up (I'm explaining this horribly) was labeled "non white characters with adhd" and at the bottom there was the description "getting called stupid by the fandom when they're actually really smart in canon." And then the extra layer to that is two of those characters are bisexual and they are all POC and they get the flirts with everything that moves stereotype.

It's not a good look fandom culture!

This is why I don't like those "jokes" about the characters because they usually reflect bias.

Anyways we're off topic again yayyy. He sounds like key awesome honestly. I love the fire thing. Side note, why is that an nd thing? Fire? Like it just is and idk why.

Anyways fandoms stop calling ADHD characters stupid 2021!!

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

it feels mildly self-degrading to admit that i dont have the spoons to use fucking tumblr most days. 

You said you're taking requests, and I'm bored out of my mind so...how bout a connor for dbh headcannon where he just doesn't understand how the Sun could be in his s/o's eye ("it's in the sky detective, how can it be in your eye too?") and after a few guesses he just googled it and goes "oh." Then starts using it without proper context.

You heard that right and asdfghjkl thats quite adorable. A havent written anything DBH related for a bit so I'm a bit rusty but oh well

My dumb ass was so confused with this for a bit but its just the sleep deprivation sooo also, I just found out that theres a song called the "Sun In Our Eyes" by MØ and I like it

Edit: im so fucking sorry for publishing without finishing this shit. Its 1 a.m. here okay?!?!

⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃

Connor was confused

[Name], his pop cultured, meme talking and also loving partner is always odd

and he certainly does not understand those words [Name] says at times

or rather, what most says too

like right now

the two were on the break room, just recently finished a case while Hank decided to actually write his report

Connor and his [Name] were just relaxing

well, [Name] was while Connor accompanies him

as [Name] was stirring his cup of coffee that he brew not so long ago

Connor was slowly drifting off to his thoughts

he was a deviant now by the way

but back to the thoughts thing

Connor remembered someone had mentioned about [Name] eyes in a case

it was the newbie recruit if he remembered correctly and he did

the newbie saying how [Name]'s [Eye color] eyes were like the sun is shining in on them

[Name] after all a kind and charming man

but Connor was confused on why that recruit says so

after all, the sun can not be taken out of the sky. that is very impossible to do such a thing

so he had asked that on [Name]

"[Name]?"

"Hm? Yeah, Con?"

"I have a question"

"Okay? Shoot"

"I do not understand. my program would not allow me to do such a thing [Name] and even if it does, I will certainly not do so"

"Crap, you're still new to this.. right... what I meant was... ask away"

"I see... well, I am wondering on why does someone says that the sun is in your eyes? It is the sun. It can not physically moved. It is in the sky"

cue confused [Name]

"Huh???"

"Apologies but P.O. recruit Jameson had said that the sun is in your eyes the other day and I am confused"

"Oh... Oh... Connor, I think Jameson meant was that my eyes are bright or something. I dunno"

"I... I see..."

still not satisfied with it

Connor still wants to know more about "the sun in [Name]'s eyes"

he went to Hank next

the lieutenant was not much help

"I do not know about this... umm... fuck, just ask someone else"

Connor went to Reed

the brunet detective flipped him off and cussed him out

Connor didnt know where to go as Conan and Connil is obviously not verse on this knowledge aswell as they are still new to deviancy

then Connor remembered that he can go ask the web

so he did

so many results

like... so fucking many

and he is so fucking confused

Connor's LED swirled to yellow to indicate his confusion

but after searching for a bit

he finally found some context

and he used it

it did not go so well really

despite [Name] kinda explaining and Connor searching it out already

he is still a dumbass

"[Name]"

"Oh, hey Connor, good morning!"

"The sun is quote lovely today"

Connor says as he stares into [Name]'s [Eye color] eyes blankly

"Okay...?"

[Name] is confused

what the fuck is up with Connor?

his confusion goes more levels as the day passed because Connor is just making him so damn confused with this "sun" and looking at his eyes thing

help this man

and help the android

after a few more awkward staring and odd sentences coming out of Connor's mouth

[Name] had enough and asked what is wrong with Connor

"[Name] I--"

"Alright, that's it! Connor... look... are you alright?"

Connor tilts his head a bit as that (cute) look of confusion plastered on his face

"Pardon me [Name]?"

[Name] sighs as he placed a hand on Connor's shoulder

"Look... Con... you just been recently acting kinda weird. Staring at my eyes and saying weird stuff and shit... I mean... its kinda adorable ag first but now its kinda creeping me off love"

"I... I did not realize that I am causing such discomfort to you [Name]"

Connor looked like a kicked puppy and [Name] felt his heart fucking squeezed at this android

"Its alright... just... why did you act like that?"

"I just want to compliment your eyes... like what P.O. recruit Jamesom did... comparing it to the sun..."

[Name] wanted to die

his android boi wanted to compliment his eyes???

aweeeeeeeeeeee

[Name] smiled and placed a soft kiss on Connor's forehead

"Well... that was sweet of you"

Connor's face lit up by that

"Still... i need to teach you how to compliment and what does "the sun in my eyes" mean though"

[Name] teased as Connor nodded his head with a smile om his lips

[Name] did teach Connor the right meaning of that sentence

and Connor used it right this time

[Name] was so proud

he kissed Connor

such dorks

Tell us about your ocs!! I'm genuinely curios bc of the tags

[ID: Meme of Hatsune Miku smiling. Top text reads "Thanks for sending me a message". Bottom text reads "You're very cute and I will be replying to you".]

Robin "Robbie" Fuller: The character i play in a DND campaign.

they/them pronouns. they're nonbinary and asexual and don't care to label their romantic attraction.

They're 22 years old and 5'9" (175cm)

Their birthday is November 12th. they're a scorpio

They started off as a Mundane MOTW character and they're now a level 7 warlock in DND. They're a human

They live in a small coastal town in massachusetts called Holyoak and they go to the local college to learn culinary. They live in a single dorm and they have a cute widdle black cat named Chickadee

One day (for various reasons) their life was flip-turned upside down with discovering the existence of monsters, portals, different dimensions, and rifts in spacetime

One of the reasons for them discovering all of this was them meeting a man named Thomas who's a human from a different dimension called the Palisades. He's a well-known Judge over there. (Thomas is @bevtastic 's character)

Robbie gets an offer to join the Interdimensional Defence Agency (IDA), says fuck it and accepts, and Robbie and Thomas stay friends by virtue of their similar jobs.

Robbie is tasked to go to a different dimension (A half-medieval half-wild west desert town called Argyle) to stop a threat that was growing there. Threat turned out to be a massive mind-controlling dragon who wanted revenge for the rest of her dragon species that were killed off by medieval "heroes". Robbie was not cut out for this as their first job. They (with help) subdue the dragon eventually but not before she burned down multiple towns including Argyle to a crisp. Robbie feels very bad about this.

Robbie, Thomas, and the rest of the party receive a mysterious letter leading them to an old abandoned mansion in Holyoak and get roped into a rescue mission to save Thomas's old friend Percy who has apparently been bodysnatched by a bad guy and trapped somewhere for what felt like thousands of years. This is the arc where we switched from Monster of the Week to DND, and Robbie gets connected to a nature deity Adelaide through a purple necklace. They also get a familiar, who is an owl with pitch-black feathers and glowing yellow pupilless eyes that Robbie named Mr. Muffins.

Robbie and Thomas become very good friends :)

Thomas dies.

Robbie goes to the Palisades to find out what happened to him. Turns out he wanted to reveal the secret of interdimensional travel to the public and work to make it open, free, and safe. The people in charge did not allow him to do this by legal means so he aimed to do it illegally, which was when he was murdered by a group of bandits.

On top of that, one of the main reasons why he wanted to reveal the different dimensions is because there is a HUGE interdimensional threat coming our way, and we need to act on it if we want to live.

Percy finds Robbie and asks them to help with this threat, who apparently is a singular person named Siris that has been locked in a prison for thousands of years and somehow got out. Robbie doesn't have much of a choice and accepts.

In the Palisades, there are monsters called Behemoths. they emerge from people who get bitten by a behemoth or who touch the black tar-like substance that runs like rivers in certain areas of the Palisades. During a battle, Robbie gets bitten by a Behemoth, and now they're a candidate for Behemism (aka turning into big giant monster syndrome).

Because Robbie has Behemism and Siris is part of the reason for Behemism existing, they're mind roommates now. Robbie and Siris do not get along very well.

There's more to Robbie but this is their main backstory!!!

[ID: a drawing of Robbie holding a chrysanthemum. They have short pink curly hair, and they're wearing a yellow floral button-up and a purple necklace. They have bandages on their freckled face and they're looking down at the chrysanthemum with a neutral expression.]

Emile Azarel: A character i play in a different campaign that does MOTW.

He/him pronouns, he's trans, demisexual, and demiromantic.

He's 19 and he's 5'3

He doesn't know his actual birthday but the day he celebrates is January 23rd

His MOTW class is The Expert. He's a fire genasi

He was born in central Russia but he doesn't know his parents well because when he was ~8 months old there was a big monster attack that unfortunately killed his parents. A monster hunter named Avery Azarel found Emile, took him in and raised him.

Emile learned to hunt monsters with Avery and the two traveled around together as monster hunters.

Eventually Emile wished to have a solid place to live rather than constantly traveling, because he wanted friends. He found a town in the pacific northwest called Salmon Peak that had everything he wanted: Russian culture, a fairly small easy-to-get-around layout, and some very weird mysteries going on. (Just because Emile wanted to settle didnt mean he wanted to stop monster hunting!)

He moved to Salmon Peak and has met a bunch of new friends! He's also learning more and more about the town, which is turning out to be somehow even weirder than he expected.

Emile is a very sweet, polite boy, but considering the fact that he's only ever been around one person mainly for his entire life, he has a bit of a ways to go when it comes to interacting with people. The monster hunting life means that when there's a monster, you kill it and that usually solves all your problems. Emile has transferred this logic to people as well (if they're a monster, kill em!) and he's learning through friend influence that maybe human lives are a bit more sacred than that.

His favorite color is blue because he loves the sky!

A lot of people underestimate his skills because he's little and looks very young, but he is a very good monster hunter. Because of Avery (the best monster hunter in the biz), his last name has a bit of a reputation.

Emile is blind, autistic, and has vitiligo!

I have much more planned for Emile but I can't say it here because it is MAJOR spoilers!

[ID: a drawing of Emile walking forward. He is wearing a blue shirt with stars on it, blue jeans, a fluffy white jacket, a belt with a star on it, star earrings, a moon necklace, and black shoes. His blue hair is swaying behind him and he's holding a white cane with a red tip. He's smiling slightly.]

Avery Azarel: Emile's parent! I've not played them as a character yet but I've made a character sheet for them.

they/them pronouns. They're agender, aromantic, and pansexual

their age is (???) and their height is 5'7

they have a birthday but nobody knows when it is

Their MOTW class is The Chosen. they appear human

They're widely considered the best monster hunter in the biz. Their name is well-known and they're requested for help all around the world

Because of this, they're constantly traveling and having a house would not make sense. They just pack their things, stay at motels/hotels/etc., camp in the woods and move around to wherever people need them.

Since they've been pretty much everywhere, they always seem to know at least one person from each town. They never seem to get too close to anyone, though

They are fluent in many different languages!

In the past they were paired up with another monster hunter and they made a great duo. That was a couple decades ago; they go solo now.

Years ago, an unexpected and incredibly destructive monster rampaged a small town in Central Russia. Avery came as fast as they could (they were nearby in the area) but they still couldn't finish off the beast before it tore the whole town to shreds. Dozens of homes were crushed, but surprisingly most people survived, with the exception of a couple of people who died under the rubble. Avery felt awful (this was their biggest failure in a while), and as they were searching through the rubble for any more casualties they found little baby Emile, miraculously unscathed. They took him in and raised him from then on.

Nobody, not even Emile, knows very many details about Avery's childhood, their family, their age, or really any information about them. (Emile has been trying to figure out Avery's birthday for AGES so they can celebrate, but Avery has refused to budge)

Their main weapon is 2 pairs of bolas! those are those chains with 2 balls on either end, usually made to be thrown at people's legs to restrain and trip them. they use the bolas both as restraining tools and as their main weapon, because i think weapons where you spin them really fast in front of you are cool

There's a scar over their left eye; whenever someone asks how they got it they always spin a different elaborate tale of an epic monster battle. Nobody knows which (if any) is the true story

there is a WHOLE LOT that I am leaving out if you couldn't tell. There's a huge chunk of their past that I'm leaving out because it's all a big bundle of spoilers. Someday I will be able to elaborate more on Avery!

[ID: a picrew made by djarn of Avery. They're smiling, their head is tilted slightly, and there's a scar over their left eye. Their hair is tied half-up half-down. They're wearing a black shirt with "òwó" on it and a blue jacket with an aromantic flag pin and a pansexual flag pin. the background is an agender flag.]

These are my main OC's! I have more (Orion, Nottwyrm, "Noodlearms", etc.) but these 3 are the main ones that I post about. :3 thank u for asking!!!

If you have any questions about any of my characters I always welcome asks!!! 💖

Going to explain a little about the Miss Rhona lyrics, what inspired different aspects etc, as I’ve seen a lot of people speculating over it, and coming up with their own ideas (which I fully support!) but for those who are curious...

1st Stanza

“Daddy’s at the food store” So, when this was written, myself, my partner, and seemingly everyone was spending so much time going from supermarket to supermarket trying to find the basics, the essentials. Pasta, flour, sugar etc were sold out seemingly everywhere. The weekend just before this was written he’d lined up for half an hour before Costco opened to ensure he acquired some toilet paper- which seemed impossible to get ANYWHERE. I had colleagues who sent their adult children to shops everyday (they couldn’t cause they were at work) to try to find toilet paper somewhere. We ran out at work, and ended up with tissues. People, generally, were spending so much more time trying to find essentials at supermarkets. It’s not nearly as bad now, but just over a month ago when I wrote this it felt like a big issue. Also, “food store”?! NO ONE HAS CALLED ME OUT ON THIS which I find so weird because no one actually says, “food store”?! What a weird expression! So why did I use it? Well! Initially I thought “cost-co” but didn’t use it because I wanted the rhyme to appeal more universally. And we only got a Costco in my city a few years ago and I know plenty of places in the world don’t have one so... I thought maybe supermarket? But thought maybe they didn’t call them that in other countries- market? Market sounded so strange as it’s really only fresh fruit and veggies we get in our local markets here (in my part of the world) and didnt fit with the image I was trying to create and besides all our markets were cancelled as they were too crowded.. so “food store” was initially just a place-hold. I still can’t believe literally no one has said “hey wtf is up with “food store? No one says that” but there you go. It’s in literally every version ive seen as that so... that’s what it is now. So, that line about the food store and collated with the next line, “mummy’s our of town- she’s working at the hospital” was based on news articles I’d read about doctors having to isolate themselves from their families by sleeping either at hospital or in their garage. People who couldn’t see their kids for ages, it was really sad! And then combining these lines, it’s about how these little kids for the first time really are sometimes being left home alone because their parents have stuff they *have* to do; get food or work, and lots of kids these days don’t get left home alone anymore, it was common when I was little but not for a long time! But seemingly suddenly with this pandemic it’s happening again. And I hadn’t seen that talked about but I was seeing glimpses of it and it, felt weird? I guess? So that made for the perfect beginning to a covid19 nursery rhyme- a kid getting left home alone a lot and not being really sure how to respond to that.

So, with the hide away lines, there’s 3 stanzas and in each miss Rhona gets closer. The first one is she’s “come to town”. Now I remember that feeling on that day learning that the first coronavirus case had occurred in my city. Up until then there was a bit of a sense of dread, like you knew it was everywhere else, then in the news it got closer and closer, with cases in small country towns nearby. But when it got to my city it was suddenly so real. And that’s where the story starts because Miss Rhona was HERE. She arrived in the kid’s town. The line, “she’s come to take us down” is another way of saying “she’s going to get you” and also links to the final line which reveals her success “she took us down/she’s brought us down”.

2nd stanza

So, she goes from being in town to being “at the doorstep” which represents getting closer- being in those people the child might interact with everyday- and imagined more literally in the postal worker delivering a package (actually ON the doorstep) or food delivery or anyone who they’d still have close contact with. But “I’ll keep 6 feet away” is a self reassurance that if they just do the right thing and keep their distance everything will be ok. But then the conflict! Grandma needs toilet paper, EVERYONE needs toilet paper and no one can get it anywhere! No doubt the dad is our trying to find some more while he’s at the “food store”. And I was thinking... my children’s grandmother lives in a different state to us but if we were in the same one you can bet your life id be out dropping essentials at her doorstep whenever I could- tp included. (Although, tbh the tp issue didn’t seem as bad in her state from what she told me) so in this bit I guess I imagined myself as the child because that would be something important to me, to make sure my elders had their essentials. Idk I tried to help where I could, got baby wipes when I found it for a friend with a newborn, stuff like that. So the conflict is the child’s sense of responsibility ensuring their grandmother has what she needs, while also knowing that the coronavirus, Miss Rhona, could reside in anyone they meet along the way. Kind of like a little red riding hood situation linking the dangers of strangers. So they open the door due to this sense of responsibility and, oh no, Miss Rhona was at the doorstep, remember? Now the child has it too; “Miss Rhona’s come to stay” IN THE CHILD. This line was to use the imagery of Miss Rhona coming to stay with the child at their house, like an aunt might come to visit for the weekend, but symbolises the virus coming to live within the child, they’ve caught it now, which is why they definitely, “can’t come out to play”.

Stanza 3

“But grandma needs the paper” that’s where the conflict arises again- the child’s sense of responsibility, maybe guilt even? Overshadowing their understanding of just how serious the virus would be should their grandmother catch it. They’re just a kid remember? They don’t understand. So they take her some anyway, everyone needs toilet paper! Also, I know that phrasing it as such misleads the listener to think about a newspaper. Thats how we talk, “I’ll get the paper!” My dad says ... often. But, 2 things, it rolls off the tongue easier than “grandma needs toilet paper” which would’ve messed up the rhythm anyway, and also, for anyone who’s lived it you would automatically know about the “great toilet paper shortage of 2020” 😅 there were so many memes about it and it was funny that everyone was obsessed with it but if you were one of those people who genuinely really couldn’t find any- and there were lots!- then it kind of sucked. And that’s a memory that’ll stick with you 🙈

So. The note. “And here’s a note from Rhona she wanted me to say” imagine the child at the grandmas doorstep, she’s bringing her tp (that’s nice) but the child is infected, and hands grandma a note. I imagined like a little filed up piece of paper in their back pocket they take out and hand over, to pass on the message from their aunt living in their house. As kids would do- what teacher hasn’t given their student a note and said “go tell mr x such and such” and the note is a reminder of what to say. But the note they hand over is also a metaphor. It symbolises contact between the grandmother and grandchild, and as grandma took it, she caught the virus too. And the note reads,

“Hide away, hide away, keep 6 feet away”

Which is that line repeated all the way through the rhyme. In the end, it’s what Miss Rhona was saying all along. Hide away children...

And the final line is a throwback to near the beginning, “she took us down” because earlier remember she came to “take us down” but now it’s happened and we’re in past tense. She did it. She took down the grandma, and possibly the child too, although I left that as ambiguous. To be taken down here is the symbol for death, of course. It’s pretty grim. But that was the point i suppose.

And that’s where it ends. Anything after that, while I’ve seen some adaptations made which sound really cool, doesn’t really make sense with the story, because they died in that moment. And continuing on after that seems a bit overkill, because I gues, perhaps symbolically at least, who would be able to continue singing the rhyme once they had already died?

But having said that, it’s still nice to see people get exited about it and want to contribute more lyrics too. Making up stories, songs, games, art in general, it’s a way we’ve found to cope i think? Like dark and morbid stories are a part of our culture because we respond to them. Lessons, feelings, etc. people far more articulate than I have explained before...

So. That’s Miss Rhona. This explanation was written really roughly and I apologise for that, but you get the gist. I strongly recommend for anyone who hasn’t already to check out the #miss Rhona recordings hashtag on my blog, because some of these melodies people have put to it are really beyond words. Dreamy, haunting. Peaceful. Childlike. Much more than the original chant-like skipping rhyme I originally envisaged.

Thanks for reading this far... please be safe and look after your grandmothers ❤️

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @forseenclade thank you ! man i am so bad at doing memes.  tagging: @blossomingbeelzebug @zhrets @lupichorous @dansiere yayayayayayayaya

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [ z/iggy stardust is DEFINITELY not my original character, but 683 is, and every single part of how i rp ziggy from his backstory to his personality was made up by me. that being said, ziggy is still a character that exists in media. ]

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. [ im pretty sure ziggy is tied with the thin white duke as one of b*wie’s most famous fictional personas? ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES ? / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ maybe a little overrated ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ celebrity rock god of limitless talent vs inevitable overrated washup. most celebrities are polarizing anyways ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — there isnt much canon to go off of i think? the album barely even states if ziggy is an alien and b*wie himself got really wishy washy about it (sometimes saying z is a human who was contacted by aliens, he was an alien himself, etc). i dont think we know anything about him besides what he looks like (red hair / weird eyes / pale / “well hung” lmao) and he has a band called the spiders from mars, he plays the guitar left handed, he’s bisexual + androgynous, and he’s charming and popular with the teens but inevitably is a victim of his own ego. and he dies.  that too.  but that’s literally it! we know Nothing else about him.  so i filled in all the gaps because my brain has worms.  theres a little bit of the story that verges on fantasy (that he’s some sort of messiah messenger for “the infinites,” whatever the fuck THAT means, david) so i nix that because i prefer hard scifi.  and theres one BIG part that i just ... deleted out of his canon, in that the world is ending in 5 years in his timeline, and he’s like ... aware of this ?  but that’s dumb and confusing.  i legit dont care anymore. my OC now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  im so embarrassed i know i could be genuine and actually try but i have brain blockajjolajlakala33lak33klak333ak3jka3akjj323j3 i guess it’s like ... ziggy is truly the ultimate expression OF humanity because he reveals everything both wrong and right about the human condition, he literally embodies the best of humanity and the worst at the same time, he’s a really interesting critique on the idea of genuineness/earnestness vs commercalism in art, the perils of fame, and also how humans are so inherently corrupting?  a lot of thematic stuff i like exploring is like what is innate to humans vs what is learned behavior, what are things that humans do naturally that ziggy mimics out of his desire to be like us?  i think he has a really good story arc -- he went from being a literal nameless CLONE in a society full of pragmatic forward thinking science-oriented people to a sell out rockstar celebrity in a society of people that value individualism and self expression and art, but in the process completely lost his mind and himself and gave into the worst that humanity has to offer like rampant selfishness, drug abuse, self destructive tendencies, etc. characters changing is always interesting and ziggy truly changes for the worse -- but he is never just black and white, he was never good and then suddenly evil, he just was always the same person putting on different facades and trying to be himself by constructing an identity that maybe was who he wanted to be versus who he actually is.  i dont know what im talking about. hes just an alien trying to be too hard to be human in all the wrong ways.   i just like how “gray” ziggy is. he isnt good or bad, he can be very nice and he can be very mean, he’s overtly showboating confident but at the same time deeply afflicted with self-consciousness (why tf else would anyone be So obsessed with how they present themselves?).  hes an icon of individualism but also commercialism.  he’s freakishly alien but is almost more human than humans themselves.  he struggles as lot in his head -- which makes for interesting writing, i guess !!  Im so emabrrased im not going to go back and read what i wrote so if i typoed dont look at me

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  i think ziggy comes across as really mean and nothing else.  his horrible bitchy rudeness comes across as hee hee hoo hoo sassy isnt he a rascal when it’s supposed to be more like ... he’s so far gone into the celebrity delusion he’s conflated aggressive rudeness with charmingness because no one told him otherwise and everyone worships him to the point where he’s just given into the delusion that he can do no wrong.  i think theres the general simplification problem that happens with a lot of fictional characters, it’s easy to see him as just a whacky sassy glittery quirky rockstar when i guess it avoids the inherent tragedy of like ... everything else about him. his totally fake and false sense of identity built up from superficial things like fame and labels and stardom.  maybe my version of ziggy is just too weirdly depressing and sad when i know his original iteration wasn’t quite so ... grim.  im not very sure tbh.  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  hmmm ... a lot of things! i just really got into b*wie stuff in early 2019, i’ve ALWAYS loved aliens and sci-fi, and i was really shocked that db sets up such great visual storytelling potential but does it through music.  i just really liked ziggys “story” and i like any chance to think about aliens so i just got invested into piecing together a little backstory for him using, like, the cumulative knowledge of literally every other piece of science fiction ive ever consumed in my life.  this was summer 2019 when i was making initial pitches for my thesis film, and so i just randomly decided to pitch “animated version of ziggy stardust” as one of the potential ideas.  shockingly everyone liked it a lot and so did my professor who thought it was really cool, and then i just ended up sticking with the character and working on him for an entire year.  ziggy became my hobby but also my homework.  he was such a fun character because everything about him was interesting to me and i had just enough source material to have a starting point but so much room to take him in any direction i wanted to.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  honestly, yooooou guyssssss. i have some really amazing fwends that ive met thru here .... and some of our dumb stupid stories have literally become NOVEL length. it just self generates inspiration because you realize the limitless amount of stories you could tell with this one single character when your character enters his story or he enters their story and etc. etc.  ive drawn endless amounts of comics and stuff for him ... ziggy is just so endlessly interesting ...   cringe be cringed bro but recently (i know this sounds dumb bear with me or die.) ive kind of realized a lot of how i rp z comes as some metaphor for the experience of being an asian immigrant/being asian in the US -- his home “culture” is a lot stricter than the rampant selfish individualism of the usa (he only lives in the uk and usa, so he thinks the whole planet is like this), he’s dissuaded from standing out from his community and his selfishness becomes a community burden rather than a personal flaw, and when he does come to earth, he goes through such awful culture shock, literally nothing makes sense to him and everything is Different.  and while some things are different in a Nice way, something things are different in an Awful way, and he’s given the option between losing his true personal identity as an atominan and giving it up to be a human.  the allure of being a human is a little too much but losing yourself like this is traumatic, in a way.  obvs like ... a little silly and definitely not something that i actively intended to put into his story arc, its just something that fell into place cuz i guess i worked so closely with my own personal experiences and feelings of “alienation” (pun intended) to try to understand how he would feel being a literal alien an shid. its cathartic to write about him. but he also has a lot of my own personal interests just thrown in -- 70s fashion, scifi, science, tryhard implications about human nature, art history, whatever dumb nonsense i get into

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES?

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO  [ i would prefer information to spring up organically in the story but cuz threads always get dropped i end up just telling people outright. i didnt want anyone to know his home planet/his old name but barely anyone writes enough with ziggy to get to that point to reveal it (i legit managed to do it organically Once) so i just had to write it in a post lmao orz ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ wrote a ton of drabbles ! drew a ton of comics! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / I DUNNO?

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES  / NO. / IDK ? 

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  definitely!  like i said ... my version of ziggy ended up being the protag of my thesis film and for 1 yr straight his characterization, backstory, design, and even how i wanted to animate his fucking movements (ziggy stardust timing charts.) were beaten to death in a classroom environment, torn apart and rebuilt into something better.  had i stayed with what i originally wanted to go with, ziggy would be so different than how i write him 2day. amazingly my pre production professor is a literal two time emmy award winning storyboard artist and animator so he definitely helped me design him (my version of ziggy is meant for ... a cartoon, obviously, not real life) and give him a better backstory?  and my post production professor is a retired disney animator who worked on hercules and a bunch of old disney channel shows?  had i gone wah wah wah i dont want to hear ur critiques i wouldnt have made him better.  if you ever think ziggy seems inconsistent or poorly written ... tell me !! i literally major in ... animation. cartoons. entertainment.  my job is to entertain you. if you are not entertained, there is a problem.  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ????

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I LOVE QUESTIONS? i love ... answering questions ... if you ask me something ill come kiss you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure! i dont know why that would happen, though, because i mean ... he’s an OC. but i gues someone could be like “i feel like this is incongruous to things you’ve previously established in his character” or somethin

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  i feel like a lot of b*wie stans would find my version of ziggy weird but i mean thats fine!  i guess my goal is to have a well written character, not necessarily an accurate version of ziggy

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  if you hate MY version of ziggy thats fine but if u hate ziggy stardust in general (like the bowie concept) then u need some taste what the fuck is cooler than a egomaniac genderless bisexual rockstar alien with red hair? nothing. go back to watching your CW shows you dirty filthy normie

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  yes! dm me though. dont clown me on the dash like that.  i usually write your replies 12 AM - 4 AM so it’s expected.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  hmmm ... maybe! i do like to talk to people and i am VERY nice, trust me, if youre ever sad ill do everything i can to make you feel better. but im quiet! i dont really reach out to people and i tend to just keep to myself.  im not very social or extroverted at all haha i barely can make ooc posts without feeling like god’s coming to beat my head in with a brick. im sitting here at 5:30 AM with this meme feeling like if i post it i will die (BUT I MUST)

Okay I get what you mean but it wasn’t just rude or unfunny, it was pedophilic. He pretending to jack off to an 11 year old. That’s not just rude and unfunny, that’s completely fucked up

IDK, he was very clearly joking and fake-moaning “whip your hair back and forth” (a popular meme at the time) like its a rude gross joke but it was still very clearly a joke and thats how people joked around in the late 00s.  God forbid any joke i made in the “shocking trashy scene kid” era ever comes back to haunt me id be burned at the stake because what was acceptable humor back then has completely changed over the past ten years. 

 And its changed for the better, im glad we are moving in the right direction and agreeing that some things arent funny, but I feel like there is a big valley between “this guy made a joke about being a pedophile” (which he joked about a lot, the Willow Smith video is the one that went viral now but i remember there being jokes about stalking Dakota Fanning in “I have a box” and it wasn’t alarming because those were the jokes everybody was making) and “this guy is a pedophile” (like Onion of Dhavie who actually went out of their way to be predatory toward and in Dhavi’s case rape underage fans)

Humor, especially internet humor, used to be very different.  This wasn’t a joke he made last week, it was a joke from ten years ago when 4chan ruled the internet and shock humor was in style.  

And i know it sounds like im defending the joke, im NOT, it was not a funny joke and he was right to apologize for it but im not a fan of the fact that hes being attacked for material that old.  IDK what to say other than that the internet and the humor and culture on the internet used to be very different and we cant apply cancel culture politics to behavior that was acceptable 10 years ago.

IDK, there are real predators out there, we shouldn’t be wasting our efforts rallying against a rude joke.  Because in the end thats all it really was, it was a very rude joke that in a modern light is not funny.  And im not a fan of his, i didnt even know he was still a thing until like a week ago, but as somebody with my own internet history I think there should be some statute of limitations on cancel culture.  I dont need to get published and then one day wake up to all the dead baby jokes I told in a group chat in 12th grade being pulled from some server to haunt me.  

Was there anything worse than the Willow Smith joke or is that why people are calling him a predator?  Because if the jokes are all it was, there are people RIGHT NOW really hurting real children and we should worry about that.

hi everyone! i spent this past semester (spring ‘19) studying abroad in china so i wanted to make a post about my experiences! i hope this can help you in deciding if you want to study abroad and help you while you’re abroad! **this post is directed at study abroad programs through a university in the us - i have never done other programs so i cannot speak about them**

choosing to study abroad

i do want to start by saying you dont have to study abroad. this is something that is definitely being pushed lately by colleges (at least in the us) and it can feel like that you must study abroad to get the full college experience. however, its not something that’s necessary or right for everyone and you don’t need to feel pressured to do so. for me personally, i knew i wanted to study abroad in china long before i entered college whereas some of my friends weren’t interested until they started college and learned more about my school’s programs and hearing from upperclassmen who already studied abroad. some questions to ask yourself when deciding if you want to study abroad

will this benefit you as a person, whether its academically and/or for personal growth?

will studying abroad mean you have to take out more student loans that you don’t think you can fully handle (more on this later)?

is your only motivation only to have a more relaxed semester at a country where its legal to drink and/or for resume building? well these aren’t bad things necessarily - live your life the way you want to! - you might not have the amazing time that you’re thinking you will if these are your only motivations

are you (or will you) be able to mentally/emotionally handle the extra challenges that come with living and studying in a foreign country?

this is just a small amount to consider when choosing to study abroad, but another important thing is do what feels right! feel a calling to study in a specific country - then consider it! don’t think traveling is for you despite everyone pushing for it? - then don’t worry about it!

when and where to go 

things to consider when determining when

how long do you personally believe you can handle? will a shorter summer session be better so you’re not away as long or do you want a full year for a more immersive experience?

which semester/summer fits best in your schedule? do the classes offered during this time keep you on track?

things to consider when determining where

what location has classes that fit your major/academic goals? if you’re ideal location doesn’t offer what you need, are you okay with doing a summer session or graduating a semester late?

where are you interested in traveling? have a language or culture you’re really interested in (this is why i chose china for my location!)? is there a place you don’t think you’ll get a chance to visit otherwise?

what are the costs for each possible location like? don’t forget to consider paying for food, transportation, activities, and other travel

if your school doesn’t offer a program in your target location don’t let that deter you from studying abroad. a lot of times universities allow students from other universities to apply to their study abroad programs. start by talking to your schools study abroad office/program to see if there are universities that your school already works with!

money

as i mentioned in determining if you should study abroad, one thing that should be considered is money. if studying abroad means you have to take out extra loans that you’re not sure if you can handle, then it might not be the best choice at the moment - there will be other opportunities in your life to travel and not studying abroad does not mean your college experience is incomplete. do whatever is best for you.

when it comes to determining the cost of a semester abroad, do your research! contradictory to what i just said, in terms of student loans, it was cheaper for me to study abroad due to housing being cheaper. however, i still had to spend extra money on plane tickets, travel, food, and other experiences, so it’s not just the cost of tuition and housing that needs to be considered when budgeting for study abroad. not everything will be budget breaking though, food was incredibly cheap relative to nyc in china, so that was another aspect where my semester abroad was cheaper than normal. additionally, with doing your research on the costs of studying abroad, don’t forget to research scholarships! i received two extra scholarships from my school that were strictly study abroad related and there are plenty of outside scholarships related to general study abroad, different majors, and certain locations.

some tips on saving money for study abroad

once you’ve decided to study abroad work on saving money - set a specific amount of your paycheck dedicated for time abroad, think about maybe skipping getting takeout and cooking at home to put that money towards abroad, possibly get a second job during the summer/other breaks

determine beforehand where you want to travel within the country/neighboring countries beforehand so you can approximately figure out what you’ll need to spend to achieve these travel goals

make a budget for daily expenses (food, transportation to campus if needed) and keep track of your spending

take advantage of programs hosted for study abroad students. about half of my traveling to other cities was done through the study abroad program, which cost a small fraction of what the cost would’ve been if i did it on my own

be flexible! there is a good chance you will go over your intended budget, but it is okay - money can comeback, time will not

with that being said however don’t overdo it, there’s nothing wrong with going a bit over for some extra experiences, but you don’t want to break the bank 

homesickness/loneliness 

in terms of being far away from my family, it wasnt that big of a change compared to a regular semester as i don’t see them during the school year. however, i did miss nyc and my friends very much. it was hard to deal with at certain points, especially when i was having a difficult time with school but here’s somethings i did to help:

set up times to video chat with family and friends - and try to make it a regular thing

send your friends dumb things that you’re doing - dying over homework, eating good food, some animal you saw on the street, a meme that reminded you of them, and so on they’ll be missing you too

make new friends! i know thats easier said than done, but other students in the program are in the same situation as you and will be feeling homesick. set up a semi-regular time to hang out (i made friends with my roommate and another girl and we hung out nearly every saturday to play games on the switch)

some easy ways to get to know people at the beginning are have lunch/dinner together, talk to people in your classes (especially in language classes if you’re in a country that doesn’t speak your native language), hang out with your roommates

participate in any opportunities hosted for study abroad students that you can. it’s a great way to meet other students and get involved in the local culture while spending less money

finally, its important to remind yourself that you have this amazing opportunity to study in a foreign city/country/culture. it is very normal/expected to feel homesick, but reminding yourself of this helps to bring yourself back into focus and enjoy your experience

balance between academics and traveling

this is something i did struggle with and i still do wish i had planned my time better so i could’ve done more, but in general its about finding balance similar to how you would during a regular semester with classes, extracurriculars, friends, jobs. since i wasn’t involved in any extracurriculars or didn’t have a job while abroad that freed up a lotttt of time that i don’t typically have to focus on school work during the week and travel on the weekends. when planning to travel outside of your host city, you’ll want to plan ahead as much as you can as those times are the hardest times to keep up (i had one class that was based on three papers... and two of them were due after weekend trips hosted by the study abroad program not fun man!) here’s some advice that i have for this

save ‘big’ trips for time off - i went to beijing over our spring break, which was the best time to go as i didnt have to worry /as much/ about my work and i could spend more time there compared to my other travels

spend time in the country either before or after. other than beijing, my other ‘big trip’ was to chengdu/xian/zhangjiajie where i visited these cities back to back right after my finals were done

use the time on the plane/train/car/whatever to do some work. i know its easy to just fall asleep or be on your phone, but you’ll be glad that you did some work once the next school day comes

talk with your professors! they will understand that you are a study abroad student and have limited time in the country - one of the weekend trips hosted by my school left before my friday class but we had quizzes every friday in that class so i just let my prof know that i had this opportunity coming up and he let me take the quiz the next monday

try to do your work during the week to leave the weekends free. i would suggest to even save traveling around your host city should be left for the weekends, unless there is some special event going on so that way you can maximize study time during the week and have the weekend free for travel time!

use whatever planning system typically works for you (traditional planners, google calendar etc.) and as soon as you know you have assignments/tests/quizzes, put that in your calendar and start working towards them immediately. also schedule in time to study so you can work towards tests/quizzes everyday so you can travel without worry

i felt i did a good job of balancing travel and academics, however i felt i didnt explore shanghai as much i wanted to. if i had planned out my study time better, i could’ve opened up more free time on the weekends to go out in the city.

other advice

if you’re not in college yet, make sure you’re researching schools that you look at their study abroad programs and that they have the location(s) you’re interested in!

let your advisor know that you’re planning on studying abroad as soon as you can (even if you’re just thinking about it and aren’t sure yet) so they can help you stay on track and plan for it

with that last point being said, don’t solely rely on them - do your own research, check which classes are offered, save any emails confirming that classes abroad will count for your classes, keep track of application requirements and deadlines and so on

i hope this post is helpful in your study abroad journey! if you have any further questions please feel free to message me✨

bonus! check out my day in the life in shanghai video :]

no offense but. ofc exclusionists hate ace teens, they literally run on the idea that it’s somehow harmful to support groups that they can deem ‘don’t need it’ as an excuse to not have to care about certain groups struggles. they’re not gonna be able to get the concept that its healthy to give somebody (especially young people) support and a safe environment and how this can benefit them while they’re experiencing something alienating, Even if they change their mind later. a lot of them are also brainwashed into genuinely just assuming our community is this toxic little bigotry hellhole or w/e even though,,,,, literally most of us are minorities and lgbt+ oriented aces make up the Largest percentage of our group by a Mile and all we do p much aaall the fuckin time is try and support each other, make cute harmless ace content that’s Cringey(TM) at Worst and attempt to discuss how bad rape culture is but. nah too late the ones that already Know that and still benefit from this harmful idea are also pissed that we’re trying to be a positive accepting community that continues to grow and better ourselves bc then it makes them look worse for all the horrible unnecessarily hateful shit they say bout us and try to excuse it as ‘aces bad’ of course lmao. 

so anyways tbh, if you’re an adult literally no matter What your sexuality is you have no, None, 0% say in what a child gets to identify as unless you’re providing support for them. signed an ace that had figured it out as a teen who’s literal only downside to this realization was being Constantly harassed by exclusies as i was trying to understand myself like. goddd it didnt fucking hurt me to see a goddamn cake meme or an ace icon man, but Boy it sure fuckin did to get called ableist slurs by grown ass adults for thinking im allowed to know what my identity is a little earlier than most people !! and ffs yall Stop tryna dictate what my pain was from, im not asking, it was you, you were the only thing fucking me up in this equation and you can fuck All the way off if you try to tell me otherwise or make Any more ace teens go through that for the sake of having ur shitty fuckin discourse. cuz if all you see this post as is ‘annoying’ and not something important that makes you look at your actions critically, then its really not about ‘protecting the kids’ is it, its about getting to hate the adult aces and not wanting to Worry about traumatizing kids in the process, but alas they exist and you telling them Not to wont lessen their suffering from you hating them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lola Thomas

Will she friend us on Facebook yet? Lola has been accepted! Send in your blog and faceclaim!

out of character info

Name/Alias: lexi (yeah im gonna try this again because looks like the negativity is GONE. BLESS.)

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 18

Join Our Discord: Yeaaaah

Timezone: central

Activity: 7 ( i do work so activity will prolly bump before 2pm and after 8pm lmao )

Triggers: nada

Password: jimmy can fast pass my ass ;))

Character that you’re applying for: Lola Thomas

Favourite ships for your character: going in this with a clean slate so try and give me a favorite ship? ’,:)

in character info

Full name: Lola Diane Thomas

Birthday: May 20th.

Sexuality, gender, pronouns: pansexual, female, she/her

Age and grade: 16 (almost 17) && senior.

Faceclaim: Taylor Hill

Appearance:

Head: Lola is what you call a tall glass of water. She’s refreshingly attractive. Her eyes are neither blue or green but a weird combination of the two colors, making them pop against her naturally darkened complexion. Her hair is soft and wavy and like to tangle near the ends by the time Lola is out of school and on the way to work. It’s color likes to change with the rare sunlight, meaning if she is outside in the sun all day every day natural highlights will appear in her honey chestnut tresses. Her nose is like a little button that deserves to be booped constantly. Her lips are full and plump- to that she owes genetics. Lola believes it is her only good trait.

Body: A natural looker. She stands at about 5'8, so be prepared if you’re tiny. She will tower you with her legs for DAYS.  She doesn’t have particularly large assets but they are there. And it’s a nice handful on either side of the equator. You just gotta look for them behind her non-stop barrage of sweaters. She likes to say she has a white girl booty- its cute && snooty. Her shoulders and cheeks are very, very, lightly dusted in freckles you can only see in the winter. Despiter her tall figure, Lola is NOT a bean pole, she’s slim thicccc weighing about 145 pounds and it’s not in her face.

Style: Lola dresses like she lives in Goodwill, trendy and thrifty. She would kill for knee socks and button up blouses. She aims to look like ‘The classic look of a teenager in the 90’s’. Her shoes will never don a heel for she believes she is 'too tall’ for them. She likes to keep a mellow color scheme for all her clothing items. Tan, green, white. Sometimes she looks like the first instagram post you see tagged * v i n t a g e. *

Personality: 

First off let’s get this straight, with Lola it’s not a personality but more of how she adopts a personality to fit each social clique she is suckered into that day. If you dig deeep deeeeeep down pass the meme references and pop culture shout outs- she’s awfully shy and hates making the first move in ANY kind of situation. She is sympathetic to most of the problems she hears- other than relationship ones. What’s a feeling for someone else other than your cat? She doesn’t get it. Skittish doesn’t even cover how much of a fraidy cat she is.. One little boo when she’s not expecting it is enough to get Lola to shriek and jump three feet into the air. She does have a nuturing instinct, finding it rather difficult to see anyone lonely or upset.

Once you get to know Lola, she is a sweetheart with a soul of gold. She would freeze in the frigid temperatures to keep her friend warm. She’s the girl who will sneak you into her house so you dont have to go home if you’re scared too or can’t. She is quite snarky however- as if a dam broke and every witty thought ever spun in her head rushes out. Once you get her talking about something she is personally interested in, good luck shutting her up. Lola is also a very superstitious person. Never one too step on a crack or split a pole. Her biggest quirk would have to be her need for reassurance that her jokes are funny. She thinks of herself as a comedian but is already sure everyone thinks she is trying too hard. She is a rather dull girl on the outside, moody and solemn. But if you can crack into her cold shell there’s an ooey gooey sweetness inside. Lola is often easily upset- movies to road kill make her tear up. Anytime she even gets mad the salry reminders if her lameness well up in her eyes. And that only pisses her off more.

Despite having a cool exterior she can and will snap- just push the right buttons. 

History:

Lola wouldnt deem herself an outcast yet she would always feel that way. Whether she was cheering with the girls or writing lists with Jenny, her feelings were uncontrollable. Her anxiety makes it impossible to determine if someone is being nice to her or if they have a plot to harm her. In middle school, Lola secretly dreamt of becoming a goth kid- going as far as painting her nails black for two years. But her fears never made her set out to do it. Plus everyone was a little then so isn’t that technically confirming? Her school work was the only thing Lola was ever certain in. Work was easy, you couldn’t fuck it up by being a complete oddball. It was practically memorization. After starting high school, Lola was practically a wallflower. Hell she was the wall and the flower all wrapped in one. She dropped every friendship and dedicated herself to her studies and her pets. After she got a job she was allowed to have them finally and her fur babies were the only things she cared about truly and deeply. For they could never hate their mother.

Things were always tough for Lola, socially or economically, but that didn’t mean her childhood sucked. It just meant instead of a Barbie dreamhouse for Christmas she got the summer edition Barbie. Not a house. Just the doll. Jealousy is an emotion often clouding her anxieties and judgement on people. It caused her to lose her best friend since.. Well, as long as she could remember. Lola grew jealous and almost possessive over Jenny. She probably didn’t mean too but when she saw Jenny getting along with people when she couldnt caused a burning rage to settle in her chest. It got so bad Lola didnt even speak to anyone for a week before blowing up and ruining her only real friendship.

Just because she looks innocent doesn’t mean the brunette is. There are probably a few flat tires and keyed cars residing in South Park that are Lola’s own doing. Not to mention she is a total bystander. You wanna skip school? Cool, yeah I’ll watch for a teacher. You wanna smoke pot in the bathroom? It’s all good as long as she gets a hit. These are all childish 'bad behaviors’ but as Lola sees it, there’s no point in trying that hard to be bad. After all the one time she tried it, the poor thing almost died from hypothermia after blindly listening to a slumber party dare.

You aren’t supposed to sneak out in slumber parties. Or streak in Wal-Mart. Or jump of a bridge into negative temp waters. But these are all things Lola did too prove she was cool. And it ended up with her grounded, being hospitalised for pneumonia, and gaining a large fear of heights. And a hatred for party games.

Sample paragraph:

Of course, it was another cold blustery day. Chestnut tresses fluttered in front of her sight along the whole way home, it didn’t matter how many times she forcefully blew the bangs out of her face- they always flopped back down. Numbing fingers clutched tighter to the soft cloth lining of her jacket pockets. The index fingers and thumbs of both hands pinching at the materiel. Gosh- why is it always freezing? Dull orbs flittered around the blank scenery of the all too familiar path from her house to the school. The only sounds Lola could hear were the crunching of her flats against the snow and the wind whipping furiously around her. Boring. It was all white and boring. Lola was tired of being bored. She imagined that would be the only feeling she could muster for the rest of her life and it made the corners of her glossed lips tug down.

She shook her head as if to clear the thoughts instantly, humming a tune to distract herself as she continued on her trek.

One step, two step, three step…

…Sixteenth step-

Lola really needed a friend. A small sigh lifted her chest and as it billowed past her mouth she noticed movement in her peripherals. Was she really looking down this whole time like an idiot? How embarrassing! She clenched her hands into fists, further rumpling the jacket from its own pockets. Avoiding any kind of eye contact she swayed over to the side near the street and hurried her steps along. Too fast to count now. She passed the figure and her hands slowly unfurled. The blood rushing to her digits made them quite warm and her face flushed as well. God she was awkard.

Just as she thought she was in the clear, Lola felt a tap on her shoulder and her heart stuttered in its cavity as she stumbled to a stop. Fuck.

Headcanons:

🌟 owns a bike but rarely rides it.

🌟 has one cat- a black kitten named sparrow.

🌟 also two rats- yin and yang which are little chocolate colored sisters.

🌟 3.8 GPA

🌟 wants to learn french

🌟 owns a polaroid camera kinda girl

🌟 gardens in her free time

Anything else:

Im really insecure so if it takes me time to reply its cuz im demeaning myself and my baby and my words. 

...i have never been less hype and i hate it

i feel really guilty for not being happy when i mean these games are very pretty and all but all of it just seems to not be grabbing my happy when i got myself SO HYPED for the unlikelihood of something better

like man COME ON

come on man

TWELVE YEARS

almost 13!

sinnoh was fuckin due for a remake back when sun and moon got announced

ive been getting hype and dissappointed at every single goddamn announcement nintendo’s ever made for the last 4 years or so and it never happens and yet they keep teasing it why are there so many official tweets teasing sinnoh if its not fuckin happening im starting to lose hope that it will happen EVER

twelve. fucking. years.

like man we’re almost due for a goddamn unova remake by now!

like man fucking kanto got TWO REMAKES already

like man SINNOH IS THE REGION THAT MOST ACTUALLY NEEDS A REMAKE

its not just im nostalgic its that i want desperately for the generation i love to get any goddamn recognition at all. fuckin gold and silver were already beloved as the best generation even before their remake. ruby and sapphire got some unfair hate for the no transfer between games thing but that died immediately after the first remake happened. neither of them were in this unique situation where they were fuckin DEAD ON ARRIVAL and waiting TWELVE YEARS for resuscitation!

sinnoh failed ENTIRELY not on its lack of appeal as a generation but because of goddamn CONSOLE LIMITATIONS

it was slow, it was buggy, it had buddy green brown palettes, the wifi didnt work. all problems with it being an experimental first ds game by the company. it was fuckin HATED as the WORST GENERATION for so many years and it wasnt its goddamn fault and like seriously its only even become TOLERATED again because of this ‘sinnoh confirmed’ meme that NINTENDO FUCKIN REFERENCES AS IF THEYRE GONNA ACTUALLY DO IT ANY TIME IN THE NEXT DAMN DECADE

fuck i was more hyped for lets go than i am for this. like a second kanto remake was the thing i hated the most but at least it seemed original enough with the goofy new minigame for catching and loads of nice reveals like the return of following pokemon and stuff. this trailer didnt really say anything except hey its a new region hey the starters look generic as fuck. nothing to mitigate the dissappointment

and i feel AWFUL cos i know rationally that this is a great pretty game and nothing about it is actually bad yet and my only complaint is that i only like one out of three starters when i felt the same way about sinnoh itself. its just that feeling ‘meh its probably okay’ isnt what i hoped for. i hoped even if it wasnt what i wanted itd be something else equally as hype? just ‘meh’ has turned into ‘oh god no’ cos man ive been up for 48 hours getting hype for this shit why the fuck am i unable to not get hype even though i KNOW every goddamn time its a dissappointment and it has been for years and it will continue to be every goddamn time

like the highlight of the video was ‘oh an underground area maybe at least theyll bring back the sinnoh underground minigame in another country’

also.. uhh.. bags? i like the protagonist designs a lot and im happy to have the hiker bags cos srsly if i was in pokemon world i would absolutely want to go 100% ham in all ways possible AS YOU CAN SEE BY HOW I CONSTANTLY GET MYSELF TOO HYPED AND ALWAYS DISSAPPOINT MYSELF

and GOD i know im being predictable and i know that probably when i let the grumpiness wear off and get a few hours of sleep i’ll rewatch this and actually be able to notice all the lil details and get properly hype about things and probably by then we’ll know what country its meant to be based on and more info and stuff. like LOL i almost had a heart attack when there was some generally industrial looking stuff and a big ben esque clock tower like im sorry no i REALLY dont want poke-britain even though im british. its like the most cliche generic idea for a region and following on from a great region that gave representation to a nation historically mistreated by britain and america im kinda like hey can we not. like britain region was everyone’s immediate idea for the next ‘white region’ after unova happened and i was still dissappointed that we got france after that and pleasantly surprised that theyd even THINK of doing a non-white western country like hawaii! and it was really great and had loads of stuff based on hawaiian culture and even taught you some hawaiian words and local foods and stuff!! i dont wanna learn about my own country through the sanitized false ‘child friendly’ idea of us being all knights and stuff AS IF IT WAS A GOOD THING. So yeah im not sure what other european country this might be, the outfits make me say possibly holland? but im just real glad that someone other than britain gets to be ‘sword and shield’ and the only british representation we get is thematic elements being used for the design of team plasma’s uniforms. yes thank you we were fuckin colonialist pigs please never glorify our military ever again in any fiction. please never put a sword anywhere near fiction britain unless youre ready to talk about how many indigenous cultures we slaughtered. SORRY IM KINDA GOING OFF ON ONE!! im not like ‘never put my country in pokemon ever’ but if theres any form of specifically HISTORICAL CONTENT in the pokemon version then HOO BOY it would need to be handled carefully and the name sword and shield does not bode well for that so FUCK YES please be holland, please be the other place that has a lot of picturesque farm scenery and also better hiking and also literally everything. it cant be britain cos if it was britain we’d definately have a fuckin sheep or somethin for a starter. srsly tho i am very confused by the big ben looking place, am i just bad at geography and dont know about a similar clock tower in holland that is also associated with red brick industrial buildings and mines? i hope so! either that or maybe its like a combination region of multiple european countries? but thatd be weird since france got to be its own thing. tho honestly i would like it if britain got COMPLETELY ignored except to be one single town that contains the underground minigame, lol

please be holland i love you holland please save me from my rambling awful post WHY THE FUCK am i getting so bad at recognising geography oh yeh cos i havent slept in ages

i love the big bags and the rabbit starter is something ive wanted since i was a lil kid. those are two positives. holland is a third. and its super pretty. okay. i can see all the positive things individually but still somehow my net reaction is a meh because i got too hyped for the wrong thing and also kinda got jumpscared by almost maybe britain I AM SO GLAD IT IS NOT

theory: pokemon world is so idealized and wonderful and beyond us in technology and equality and etc because britain never existed in this universe.

holland stabbed it with a sword

the end

The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.  

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

People of the Caroline phase of the Hundred Years War as dril tweets

Edward III of England: im a marine & accomplished scholar. my sons were alchemized into helicopter fuel to serve their armed brothers. how dare u post penis to me.

Charles V de France: the Digimon Otis peace treaty will hence be frozen in piss and thrown onto the freeway where itll shatter into one million despicable pieces

Richard II of England: i rise; spreading my arms, exuding fluorescent spheres of energy, each representing an Unfollower, Cuasing me a great deal of pain,Screaming

Charles VI de France: how to convince my uncles to combine into one superuncle so that i only have to buy one christmas card? how to do it? how to ddo this? how

Edward the Black Prince: #worstfeeling dying of dehydration caused by diarrhea in a third world nation ravaged by warfare with no doctors #bestfeeling halo 4 odst

Joan of Kent: my big sons have made a mess of the garage again after being riled up by the good word of the Lord.

Lionel of Antwerp, 1st Duke of Clarence: someone please. ive bitten into a nasty apple and I don’t know how to spit things out of my mouth. ivr never spit before and i need help.

Louis Iᵉʳ, duc d’Anjou: me and the boys pooled together our total life savings of $1789.34 in a last ditch effort to rescue the failing quiznos brand from the brink

Marie de Blois: never brought this up due to Trolls, but my son is set to graduate from ITT tech next semester after 8 years of hard work and im very proud.

John of Gaunt, 1st Duke of Lancaster: im not cut out to be a content producer!! fuck thtis!! i want to go back to just looking at everyone else’s content and nodding if its good

Constanza de Castilla: abusing my vile neighbors by putting leaflets around which state that i am now to be referred to as “Daddy’s Golden Goose”.

Jehan, duc de Berry: ACCOUNTANT: I Just don’t know how you can justify donating $700 to “Chips Ahoy” ME: i hope your car flips & becomes your fucking firey grave

Edmund of Langley, 1st Duke of York: damn it to piss. my wife replaced all of my anti-wife reading materials with Pro-Wife bullshit

Isabel de Castilla: I Just Want 2 Have Sex On This Site All The Time With Out Havin To Argue With Peopl And Deal With People Cryin And Shit #WiseWordsToLiveBy

Philippe II, duc de Bourgogne: the first step to becoming a Millionaire is to acquire one hundred dollars

Thomas of Woodstock, 1st Duke of Gloucester: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self

Henry Bolingbroke: DAD: your baby brothers missing, please put down the controller. help us find him ME: Did u read the news. Gaming is a legitinmate hobby now

Louis, duc d’Orléans: my uncle called me a Loser on television way before this guy’;s uncle did it @cnn @reuters @infowars @gameinformer

Edward of Norwich, 2nd Duke of York: my cousin was charged with arson(Bullshit) , and i was thinking we could all help out by drawing up some memes to display in his prison cell.

Pope Innocent VI: i am above choosing sides here. i hope they either become friends & cancel the match, or beat each other completely to death simultaneously ....

Isabelle de Valois, duchesse de Bourbon: my son has been combing his hair without permission. how do i cope with the pain.

John Chandos: i truly hate winning the infamous “Darwin Award” by getting bombarded with artillery fire in the Super K-Mart parking lot

Bertrand du Guesclin: PEOPLE MAG: which pop culture icon are u going to Slaughter next... ME: I have set my sights on “The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B.”

William of Wykeham: im sorry but, when you people reply to my posts with things like “Fuck you” and “Fuck your Account” it makes me look like a real dumb ass.

Robert Knolles: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn

Jehan III de Grailly: JUDGE: i'll commute 10 yrs from ur sentence if you kiss my gavel ME: no. i will do the time i deserve and thats the truth and also nuff said

Arnaud de Cervole: i spend lots of time thinking about how many of my depraved, miserable followers would murder me if they could get away with it #SocialMedia.

Owen Lawgoch: oh nothin, i was just buying some ear medication for my sick uncle... *LOWERS SHADES TO LOOK YOU DEAD IN THE EYE* who's a Model by the way,

Seguin de Badefol: id like to report a hacker. he offered me 1000000 to show my dick and didnt cough up the dough when i delivered the goods. i got hacked

Louis II, comte de Flandre: I will be your Father. I will take you as my Son and teach you the ways of online. We will hold hands as our follower count reaches infinity.

Gaston III, comte de Foix: my disrespectful teen son somehow got hold of a gluten product and now he wants to become a cat girl

Charles II de Navarre: everyone on this site thinks they’re hard core but i bet if they took poison to weaken their bodies i would win fights against them handily

Jehan II, comte d’Armagnac: as a small business owner i think its bulshit that i have to give 30% of my income to Spain just because obama lost a swordfight to some Fag.

Jehan Froissart: im rwriting a script about a smart and handsome army man cop who murders civilians but wants to stop murdering civilians because hes in love.

Arnaud Amanieu, seigneur d’Albret: im good old southern boy and we dont cotton to bollocks .

John Minsterworth: its me again, from the website. admit that the berenstain bears are for adults or i will strategically headbutt your father to death.

Jehan IV, duc de Bretagne: my trolls & detractors all have gross mental issues. they love drama and are all jealous of my precious army man blood #truth #SorryNotSorry.

Peter de la Mare: come. I SHall lead the charge against corrupt Game developers, (Falls face forward ansd a variety of ass medicines spill out of my clothing).

Enrique de Trastámara: i am only here to field questions regarding my presidential bid. i will not discuss my ongoing project, tentatively titled “Aids Mario.”

Pedro I de Castilla: have you ever wanted to click X on a bastard

Tiphaine Raguenel: THE SUN THE MOON AND THE STARS ARE ALL TOO SMUG FOR MY LIKING

Olivier V de Clisson: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you “Blocked”

Louis II, duc de Bourbon: may god help you if you trip your feet against my handsome bulk while i am sitting on the floor looking at Depression things on my tablet pc.

Jehan de Vienne: for every year that He is not featured in Forbes Magazine as the worlds richest man... GOD will sink one of our battle ships

Louis de Sancerre: i dress as a medieval knight and pummel my metal body with cymbals to get all 59 of my pit dogs riled up before i fling lawn chairs at them

John Hastings, 2nd Earl of Pembroke: my favorite feature of this site is absolutely no consequences for my opinions sucking ffucking ass and me being 100% wrong about everything

Pierre de Craon: the facts are thuis: i accidentally did benghazi while trying to steal nfl broadcasts and im sorry about it. this is a stressful year for me.

Alice Perrers: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

Ambrosio Boccanegra: somebody please Bribe me