#dick and babs in the back garden nonstop doing rock paper scissors to see who gives a mud covered haley a bath | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatsnotahoodjason · 2 years

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bruce allowing a reporter to do an article on him and wayne manor. so he shows the reporter around, and shows them the kids bedrooms.

starting with dick's old room, its fairly messy with a lot of photos of his friends and gym equipment. the reporter makes a joke about how most of the photos are redheads. bruce explains how dick stays here a lot so he leaves a lot of his stuff here but doesn't actually live here anymore.

then they go to jason's room where bruce just pretends to be super sad the whole time. emotional moment. the reporter like, gets down on her knees and does a little prayer for jason and jason is just, hiding in the cupboard trying not to laugh because he forgot he wasn't meant to be here today.

then tim's room. where tim is currently playing video games with cassie, bart, and conner. the reporter makes a comment about the bi flag above his bed and tim just stares at her threateningly in case she was about to say something homphobic, the distraction causes tim to die in the game, kon starts to swear as he was teamed up with tim, making bruce threaten to call his dad (kon: which one?) the room is also an absolute tip, and bruce basically just argues with tim about tidying up.

then to duke's room, which he has only just started moving into so its filled with boxes, but it is very overwhelmingly yellow and a little banner on the door that says "y'all need therapy, not me tho. im totally fine." and the door is covered in bee stickers (courtesy of steph, damian, and tim)

then to damian's room, where he is very casually sitting stiffly on his bed with a sword. the reporter is just. very confused. and damian turns his head and tells bruce to kick tim's friends out the house, and bruce is just like, "you're meant to be in school!?" and damian just utters the word "useless" and just carries on staring at his sword until they leave.

they then go to cass' room which has a little flippable picture of her (one side is her smiling, and the other is her with an angry face- basically just telling ppl if she wants them coming in the room- the sign is on the angry face one) and they enter to find her making out with steph. a lot of awkwardness and panic. steph goes on a rant about privacy and disrespect for wlw couples and calls bruce an "entitled, homophobic, billionaire brat." bruce makes them leave the door partially open and cass just rolls her eyes then shuts it fully when they've left.

later on in the tour, they go to the library and jason is just there reading. so jason does an absolutely terrible english accent and pretends to be alfred's grandson, offering them tea and calling them tossers. the reporter somehow buys it tho and they move on.

in the kitchens is duke, kate, and dick arguing about who's actually been kicked out the kitchen as someone threw away the list of ppl with kitchen bans. so now dick is burning stuff in the oven which kate is trying to salvage and its basically that scene in community and they're just full on panicking.

in the living room is luke helping to fix a wheel on barbara's chair. haley (dog) is scratching the sofa while trying to get into a comfy sleeping spot and a very disturbing horror film is playing on the tv super loudly. while bruce and the reporter are in the room, the main character survives and luke and barbara boo the tv repeatedly.

then when the reporter is leaving, alfred is behind them as they go out the front door, holding onto a cow with damian behind him shouting at him for not letting him have the cow inside.

the reporter is just. so so confused. she never goes back to the manor and doesn't submit the report because who would actually believe this is the bruce wayne's daily life??

#also the reporter seeing tim and damian start fighting each other while both falling down a super large grand staircase #luke and alfred's grandson in one of the bathrooms comparing their muscles (luke wins by far)#duke and cass following bruce and the reporter around. everytime the reporter looks at them they whistle. look away. lean on the wall #dick and babs in the back garden nonstop doing rock paper scissors to see who gives a mud covered haley a bath #the reporter and bruce are in the garden for like 10 minutes and dick and babs are doing it the entire time.#batfamily #dc #bruce wayne #batfam #dick grayson #barbara gordon #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #luke fox #jason todd

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