made a helpful graphic about trans infighting. thanks for reading

Your daily gnc reminders that...

🌸 Clothes don't have gender

🌸 Haircuts have no gender

🌸 Your sexual orientation doesn't make you more or less of a woman. It's just your sexual orientation.

🌸 There are no woman-hobbies, -interests, -personality or -way-of-thinking

🌸 You are perfect just the way you are! Don't let ridiculous myths, gender roles or gender stereotypes teach you shame or make you believe that there's something wrong with you!

🌸 Every woman is her own unique person. Be your own woman! Be you!

I am not a wretch, though. Women who look different aren't ruined women. To see ourselves as ruined on the basis of how testosterone and surgery changed our bodies is to reveal the extent to which we hold ourselves to woman-hating definitions of what femaleness is. Being a woman does not mean I exist to be looked at and have my appearance evaluated, and it does not mean I have to exist to have children. These are the metrics by which transition is considered to have ruined us.

- Max Robinson, Detransition: Beyond Before and After, p. 41

I really hope detransitioned lesbians and bi women have a wonderful pride this year 💜

My life has improved a lot in the last few years as I've gotten to know a lot more butch and gnc women, and some of those I've treasured the most are detransitioned women. Not only are these women wonderful individuals but it has also been so great (and in some ways healing) for me to talk about our similar and related and overlapping experiences (as well as where we all differ)!

I hope the rest of you whom I don't know are also able to find listening ears and compassionate hearts this pride, as well as during the rest of the year 💜

We will have a generation of butch lesbians and masculine bi women who have first transitioned, then detransitioned. This experience is so common it's going to be a prominent part of our community. If you have gone through this, you aren't alone.

We don't have to be ashamed. This is not an individual failing. Our community has faced adversities many times in history. This is the adversity our generation faced, nothing less, but nothing more, either.

It doesn't have to crush us, it can be the glue that reconnects us to the community.

Have you stopped transitioning or detransitioned? Do you live in Canada or the United States, and are you aged 16 and over? You may be eligible to share your experiences in a survey and/or research interview. www.thedarestudy.com

¿Has experimentado cambios en tu identidad después de iniciar su transición de género? Puedes ser elegible para compartir tus experiencias en un estudio de investigación. www.thedarestudy.com

detrans/misgendering blogs dni

im fully out here for queering kinks that are usually bioessentialist at best.

give me butch patriarchy, make me the stupid little femme that naturally superior butches come home to and order to my knees, order me to suck their strap, dinner on the stovetop. cute little aprons, negligees, total financial control.

give me transfem supremacy, every wet little hole belonging to holy girlcock, assholes, cunts, mouths, you name it. give me filthy minded, musky transfems that cuck my cis girlfriend by using me as a fleshlight, making her hold me for their use.

hell, I don't see it as often, but give me transmasc supremacy, too. give me real men with boycunts and tdicks who pity me for being agender, who mockingly lament that if only I could commit to being masc, I could be as godly as they are...but it's too bad, I'll just have to resign myself to being their willing wet mouth. give me transmascs who sneer at the poor men in this world sullied by a biodick.

just make me a free use service housepet for all the trans daddies and mommies, all the butch patriarchs and breadwinners. let the butches forcefemme me, or keep me androgynous and mock me for not being a real butch. let the transfemmes praise me for shedding the false womanhood I was born with while I worship the true femininity of musky ladyballs and girltaints. let the transmascs undermine me for not being a real boy like them, for not having the guts to go on T, and put me at a level below even cis "men."

queer bioessentialism. send post.

from r/LesbianActually

thinking of detransition? you are not alone

Society is the problem, not you.

No matter how deep-seated your gender feelings are, no matter how much it feels like you were born with them, you weren’t.

There’s nothing you were born with that would make you hate your body so much that you need to attempt to change sex.

Why would that happen? It makes no sense. Someone put those feelings there.

The “evidence” people use to support this claim is the same evidence that showed homosexuals have certain brain structures that look more like the opposite sex.

They’re rebranding “gay” into “trans”.

They’re telling us that we’re right to hate ourselves. That we’re right to alter our bodies. That we’re right to take hormones that we don’t know all the long-term effects of. For what? To become a facsimile of the opposite sex, but only for as long as we can keep taking them.

At a certain point you have to wonder why? Why do people want us to do this? Why do the people in our lives so readily accept this?

Why don’t they want us to truly love ourselves instead?

Butch women <3 gnc women <3 tomboys <3 detrans women <3 women who've been on t <3 women with short head hair and long leg hair <3 women who take up space and are loud <3 women who are natural and get called masculine for it <3 women who are brave, who are themselves, who don't give into societal pressure <333

Idk I was feeling myself 🤷🏾💕

Also i liked how my titties looked in this and feeling comfy without a binder for once.

K bye ignore this keep scrolling

Gender non-conformity is not a problem to be solved!

There's nothing wrong with girls and women who are not feminine and who don't relate to traditionally girly things! It's okay, that's just who you are.

Femininity is not innate to any of us. It's not something we're born with, nor is it a requirement for being a whole, happy, healthy and balanced woman.

If femininity was natural and innate, we wouldn't have to be pressured, conditioned and raised to perform it. But girls all have their unique personalities, their own desires and goals and their own lives, and no shallow roles or aesthetics can contain us all.

Women who don't fit feminine gender roles and who reject traditional standards for women are amazing, strong and just as much women as any other female human being!

Gender non-conforming women deserve to have their voices heard, and their true selves seen and accepted.

All women become stronger and freer when we recognize each other and value our sisters for our differences!

There is no wrong way to be a woman!

Have you experienced shifts in your identity after transitioning?  You may be eligible to take our survey. The purpose of this study is to develop understanding and support

Participants must meet the following eligibility criteria: 

-aged 16 and older

-living in the United States or Canada

-have ever discontinued a gender transition* or detransitioned

-desiring to detransition but feel unable to take steps

*We define gender transition as social, legal, and/or medical interventions used to affirm a trans/nonbinary identity. People who have desisted are eligible to take the survey.

The survey is available at:  thedarestudy.com

“Nothing happened when I stopped taking hormones. For months I got up every morning and raced to the mirror, breathless with anticipation. Nothing changed. It was sort of anticlimactic. It took many of hours of electrolysis before l began to feel the softness of my cheeks again. One morning I got up and found menstrual blood on my BVD'S, I threw them out rather than risk anyone at the laundry seeing the apparent contradiction. But the real motion was taking place inside of me. I had to be honest with myself, it was as urgent as breathing. When I sat alone and asked what it was I really wanted, the answer was change.

I didn't regret the decision to take hormones. I wouldn't have survived much longer without passing. And the surgery was a gift to myself, a coming home to my body. But I wanted more than to just barely exist, a stranger always trying not to get involved.

I wanted to find out who I was, to define myself. Whoever I was, I wanted to deal with it, I wanted to live it again. I wanted to be able to explain my life, how the world looked from behind my eyes.

Yet I was so afraid to come out and face the world again. I wondered why I had to choose the opening years of the Reagan administration and the rise of the Moral Majority to demand the right to be myself. Would they arm villagers with torches and stakes and stalk me through the countryside? Would I stand alone, handcuffed in a precinct cell, with no one to turn to if I survived the nightmare? But then I acknowledged that no matter who had been in the White House, it had always been hard to be me. Between a rock and a hard place-something told me this lifetime wasn't going to get any easier. I’d already been through a lot though, and it didn't seem to me it could get much worse.

Once again I couldn't see the road ahead. I was still steering my own course through uncharted waters, relying on constellations that were not fixed. I wished there was some one, somewhere I could ask: What should I do? But no such person existed in my world. I was the only expert on living my own life, the only person I could turn to for answers.”

-Stone Butch Blues, Leslie Feinberg, p.224

“First of all, you need to pick a new name. Then you’ll need a binder and maybe a packer but make sure it’s not too big of one. That’ll give you away. Try wearing button ups but not if they’re flannel. That’ll make you look like a lesbian. Layering shirts helps, too. Buy bulky shoes and boot cut jeans. Maybe shoe lifts because you’re kind of on the short side for a guy. Keep your hair cut longer on top and shorter on the sides. Square off the hair in front of your ears. It’s too feminine to have it be triangular. Shave those little translucent hairs off of your face. Only women and children have them. You can wear a single earring or a leather bracelet but no other jewelry. Nothing rainbow because, again, that’ll make you look like a lesbian. Use only the lower ranges of your voice. You can find vocal training videos on YouTube if that’s not good enough. It’ll also help to speak in more of a monotone and try to mimic other guys’ speech patterns. Study the way they walk, too. Sit with your legs spread or one crossed over your other knee. Either way, take up plenty of space. Bulk up but only certain muscle groups. Don’t talk when you’re in the bathroom. Use less exaggerated facial expressions. Try not to qualify your statements. Cross your arms over your chest, not under it. Don’t skip. Don’t giggle. Don’t cry. It’s going to feel so good to finally get to be yourself.”

Passing Tips From Gender Youth Group by H. M.

from Re-Sisters: stories of desistance from transgender identification thinking of detransition? you are not alone

i love seeing a guy in media or irl and being like "DAMNNNN THE STYLE ENVY IS PAINFULLLLL I WANT TO BE THE GIRL VERSION OF HIM" instead of "OMG STEALING HIS GENDER I WANT TO BE EXACTLY HIM" bc it's so much more accurate to what i actually want. like, i want to be a different version, i want to still be female. i just want to steal the dude's hair, style, etc, but with boobs and a more female-typical body & face. like the typical gender bending in fandoms, at least the kind that was considered "appropriate" back in the day... now it's often said to be ?? transphobic ??? somehow..... but yeah i want to be a gender bender version of SOOOO many dudes. and i love that for me as a butch lesbian. i wanna be a cooler dyker version of my male blorbos basically hehe <3 and get all the girls <3