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angelsdean · 1 year

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my tags on my prev reblog re: dean's misinterpreted attitude toward monsters just got me thinking abt sam and the bloodfreak stuff in general and like, as we know a lot of the early seasons were framed in sam's pov so a lot of the time it' him who's feeling like a monster and projecting that onto others to confirm his own beliefs abt himself. like when he finds out abt john telling dean to kill him if he goes darkside sam suddenly is in agreement w/ john saying john's right and dean has to do it because dad said so !!! anyways that's just preface to what i want to say which is, sam isn't really a monster. what i mean is, he's not a monster in the inherent sense that he seems to think he is, and that's part of the reason why dean pushes back against the demon blood stuff because he knows sam can be saved and for dean his number one job is to save sam because the alternative is following john's order and that's something he just cannot do. so it makes sense that dean would do whatever it takes even if that's being a little mean or forceful (calling him a monster, echoing john by telling him not to walk out that door to give sam pause, forcing him to detox) because he does not want to kill his brother.

but anyways, sam is not a monster in the way he (and a lot of fans) thinks he's a monster. he was Not born a monster, it's not something that is intrinsically and inherently part of him. and i'd argue there's really nothing special or "chosen one"-esque about him (aside from the lucifer bloodline making him a better candidate for vessel purposes), he was just a regular baby who was dosed with demon blood, which in the text is treated as a drug / addiction. there was nothing special about any of the babies azazel dosed, they were just the children of people he'd made deals with. i think pretty much any baby (possibly even adult) who's fed demon blood from a powerful enough demon (like a Prince of Hell) would develop psychic powers. so it's not something completely out of his control that's turning him into a monster like a virus or a vampire / werewolf bite where he can't stop the progression. it's not happening to him he's making active choices to strengthen those powers and the more he feeds the more he wants it. everything w/ ruby is framed as him knowing he's doing something "wrong", the sneaking around, the lying. and i think dean's response is along the lines of "we need to get you help. we need to stop this because it's something that can be stopped. and if we stop it then i won't have to see you lose yourself or go too far. because if you go too far and start hurting people then i might have to kill you and i can't do that so please just let us save you." and i think that's fair. yes he and bobby maybe go about things the wrong way but i think it's born out of desperation. and also it's not a rejection of "this is who you are and we hate you for being a monster" it's "you're making choices that are leading you down a dangerous path and we're scared we may lose you so we're trying to stop you from going too far down that road."

like the end goal of all the bloodfreak stuff (ruby's end goal) was to free lucifer and freeing lucifer would mean sam becoming his vessel. they obviously don't know all that at the time, but in hindsight it's like, yea we should've curbed that bloodfreak stuff sooner. also heaven was telling dean to stop sam too and that he was going down a dangerous path and that if dean doesn't stop him they will (likely meaning death) so again, of course dean's gonna try to do whatever he can to stop sam even if it's by not great methods. (also heaven was playing him too bc they also wanted lucifer to be freed so that Destiny could come to pass)

#i've been thinking a lot abt the bloodfreak stuff lately #esp whenever i see takes that sam is like inherently different or monstrous #like he's really not ??? he was just a baby who was fed demon blood like many other babies #i read the bloodfreak stuff thru an addition lens moreso than a 'there's something inherently wrong w/ me' lens #which is also why the queercoded sam stuff often just. does not stick for me. like i Can see where ppl are coming from #but when you don't view sam's monstrous-ness as inherent then it's like. well it doesn't make for good parallels to queerness #whereas you take the shifter / dean parallels and it's like !!!! the shifter relating to dean and saying they're alike in many ways #that they were both born different and hated before they had to make themselves different and both just want someone to love them #and the shifter as dean earlier telling sam he's a freak he knows he's a freak and that everyone will always leave him #it's just different the way dean's ''freakness'' is framed as something inherent to him #while sam's is literally literally !! something that was Introduced to him after the fact not something he was born with #i'm sorry and this isn't sam crit it's more. interpretation crit ?#but also i think we can all have different and conflicting interpretations too bc sometimes i'm like yea. queer sam!#(tho often that has nothing to do w/ the monster-coding)#but idk i've just been thinking abt the bloodfreak stuff lately and how other characters reacted to it and how it's framed from sam's pov #vs deans and other characters. like sam seems to think there is something inherently wrong w/ him and so a lot of viewers believe it #but from outside perspectives dean and bobby and even heaven view it as an addiction and as choices sam's making that he can stop #vic.txt #mymeta #long post #sam studies

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blakeblueboi · 3 months

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Cat Animagi Au

Purely self-indulgent- I simply wanted to draw some kitties and honestly, I feel like this could be hilarious so here's some head canons I thought of while drawing this ---->

Harry

Harry was not at all expecting to be a cat Animagus. He fully expected to be a stag like his father or some sort of dog like Sirius was. The last thing he expected was to be a cat, and a very large one at that.

Harry became an animagus in eighth year.

Professor McGonagall was thrilled that she was no longer the only cat Animagus at Hogwarts. She personally saw to it that Harry was registered as an animagus at the Ministry.

Hermione often finds Harry curled up in the common room on the windowsill.

Ron is convinced that Harry is some sort of "titan" cat due to his humungous size but Hermione speculates that he's some sort of maine coon or Norwegian forest cat.

He is very much a void in the darkness and has scared the piss out of Ron, Seamus, and Dean many times.

However, his animagus status is kept quiet from anyone other than his housemates. The other houses now recognize his animagus form and give him weird or outlandish nicknames. They're mostly to do with either the faint glasses markings around his eyes or his larger than normal size.

Harry takes advantage of his smaller size to sneak around the castle during the night.

He has taken pleasure by nipping Draco's heels in the hallway between classes.

Draco

Draco, on the other hand, was hoping his animagus form was anything but a ferret. Every since that incident in the courtyard with Professor Moody he has loathed the creatures.

His mother predicted he could have been an exotic bird and for a while he was fond of the idea until he realized he would have to molt feathers every year.

The first time he transformed Pansy gushed over him and promised to purchase him one of those pretty necklaces that she's seen muggles give their cats. Draco had to explain to her how that was, infact, not a necklace, but a collar. Blaise would not shut up about giving Draco a collar for the next month.

Draco takes pride in his appearance and that does not stop when he's in his animagus form. He's always very sleek and shiny without a hair out of place. His tail is by far his favorite feature with how it looks like a fancy feather when he walks.

He's yet to register with the Ministry as an animagus.

He can often be found infront of the fire in the Slytherin Common room curled up on a silk pillow.

Draco hates the black smudge on his right foreleg that imitated the dark mark on his arm. Even as a simple cat he can't escape the choices he made in the past. He's tried ripping the fur out there but found that the skin underneath was also just as black. He had a mind to dye it but that idea quickly went out of the window for a multitude of reasons. One being he did not have opposable thumbs.

Draco and Harry

When Draco stumbled upon Harry in his animagus form it was completely by accident. At first Draco was afraid that the Chosen one would somehow recognize him but was surprised to find a gentle hand passing over his head and spine. It was the weirdest experience he has ever had.

Draco took to following Harry around the castle on weekends convinced that Harry was none the wiser about who he was. It was nice. Of course when Ron and Hermione weren't around. WHen they were Ron teased Harry about gaining a follower, as if he did have those already, and Hermione studied him as if he was one of the massive tomes she carried around. He was half convinced that she had figured him out long ago, but just hadn't said anything for some unknown reason.

Draco met Harry finally in the other's animagus form while stalking the halls late at night. A quick glance and Draco was petrified by two glowing green eyes in the darkness and it took everything in him not to flee down the hallway.

It took awhile for the two to get along in their animagus forms and on several occasions had to be broken up by Professor McGonagall who during several of those occasions was in her animagus form as well.

After a while, Harry and Draco slowly form a weird routine of walking the halls at night. They bond quite well during their time together.

Harry at some point joins the gag about getting Draco a fancy collar. Draco is surprised that it doesn't seem like that bad of an idea when coming from Harry.

Draco teases Harry about how even as a cat his furr is still just as messy as his hair is in human form.

#drarry #harry x draco #draco x harry #animagus #harry potter #hp fanart #harry potter fanart #hp fandom

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opheliasam · 4 months

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The thing is that the ways in which dean and sam need each other are both compatible and parallel in their nature.

Dean needs sam to stay with him (let him take care of him look after him and be with him) and sam despite all his need for autonomy and freedom which he does desire of course (he needs dean to respect his choices and see him) also needs dean to need him—choose him. It’s always been that way—something we see from the very pilot itself. He goes with dean in the pilot after dean admits that he doesn’t want to do it without sam even if he is capable for it.

It affects sam profoundly when dean gets close to other people—especially men because it threatens the idea that dean could need people other than him (even the mere desire to want for others apart from him is distasteful even if he doesn’t want it to be—he just can’t help it, it’s the way they are.) Of course dean has never needed for anything more than sam, that sam and just sam has always been more than enough but sam needs that from him, constantly and actively.

In Sacrifice (8x23), when he reveals that the fact that dean chose to turn to people (an angel, a vampire) apart from him was unbearable to him was just so.. much. And it’s interesting because we know that sam too is friends with cas, has never been shown to consider him a rival in any sense (but just the mere possibility of sam and just sam not being enough for dean is devastating for him.) He doesn’t harbour any resentment or competition towards cas, it’s just that he needs to be the choice over everything else from dean. He needs it because he chose that too, even when he had a chance to get out—multiple times over. And yes, the circumstances shaping his choices are often not ideal, are sometimes not even entirely choices but he always stays because of the knowledge that dean will always choose him.

The conflict then is often caused by doubt—dean, deeply insecure about sam’s loyalty. For him, it’s a given—that sam will always be first, has always and forever been above everything else but he expects sam to know it too. Despite everything he puts on him and says to him, despite the fights and the anger and the mistrust. None of that will ever change this one fundamental thing.

But Sam doesn’t (!!) Maybe at one time he did, before the demon blood and the soullessness and the countless countless ways he thinks he fucked up but somewhere along the line it became clear to Sam that he could not trust it to always be Dean’s first choice, can’t know it for sure.

Doubt again, Sam—unable to know if Dean will always choose him over all else and Dean unable to verbalise that enough because of said insecurity (the fear that he needs sam more than sam needs him) and unable to understand why Sam would feel this way because he expects him to already know that Sam will always be above all else, at the end of the day despite whatever happens because that is who Dean is.

#reasons I feel are at the base of most of their conflicts ^^ apart from those involving autonomy of course but even that is motivated by +#Dean’s deep fear of Sam not choosing him when it matters most so he doesn’t even allow him the choice because he is so afraid that Sam will #choose “wrong”—exacerbated after the events of s4 so in the later seasons he doesn’t even give him the choice #the tragedy of which is that given the choice Sam would always choose him !! 😭#But because Dean doesn’t have it in himself to give Sam that choice sam never gets to affirm it (which would be good for Dean !! btw)#and when Sam rightfully gets angry because of stolen agency it just fuels Dean’s fear further and he lashes out #and this in turn further injures Sam’s faith in Dean always putting him first and so it goes on and on and on in a circle 💔#meta #samdean #sam winchester #dean winchester #spn #personal

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 6 months

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Can we take a moment and talk about

Miguel, Hobie, and the Black!Reader

a.k.a Black Men aren't the only one who date black women so why are there only Black!Readers for black characters????

Don't think anyone has said it but I would like to see Miguel with some Black readers/Black OCs.

Like, I wanna see Miguel with a Boujee black woman, a loud one, a meek one, a stallion, a petite one-

I just wanna see Miguel x Black!Readers and Miguel x Black!OCs.

Black people are everywhere, in every fandom.

So black readers should be giving rep everywhere - not just with radical black characters like Hobie

Black women and black people in general IRL have our features demonized or looked down upon. In media, in the beauty industry, the fashion industry, hair industry, you name it. Our skin tones are 'too dark' to match well with makeup, our bodies too curvy or different, or hair too thick and hard to manage.

I think having characters openly express interest in them is radical - whether the character themselves are black or not.

The reason the Black Representation within Hobie romance fics stands out so much because every other character LACKS that.

In almost every other x reader fandom, black people and our features are ignored and erased for 'sweeter' things like blushing or 'running their fingers through your hair'

Like... Why can't there be a fic where Miguel compliments his Black partners hair. Or tries soul food?

You don't have to be a radical leftist like Hobie to find black people attractive.

So there's no reason for black!Reader to be confined to Hobie - or black characters at all.

You can write Dean Winchester with a Black!Reader. Or Sherlock Holmes, or Hobie Brown, or Miguel O'Hara.

Attraction to black people is so often seen as a fetish - that most white people and white characters never openly exhibit admiration or love towards black features and culture. They'd rather push us and our differences aside because acknowledging them and their beauty makes people uncomfortable. But those same characters will always 100% be implied to find white women attractive.

And in the Superhero Movie Sphere it's even worse.

ie. It's VERY VERY rare you will find Tony Stark with a Black woman.

The large majority of the women you see with Tony Stark early in the movies are WHITE. The ones he's taking to at galas and playing roulette in front of and kicking out after one night stands - White and blonde. If he sleeps with them - white and blonde.

And that's fine in the general population - a nonblack man who 'loves women' and loves sex just... not being seen with black women at all.

But if Tony Stark went two movies sleeping with only women that aren't white - uh-oh!! That draws attention!!

It's completely okay and not a fetish to be super attracted to white features in isolation, but if you take interest in non-white features without validating white women in the same breath then you're nasty and a fetishist and a racist.

Another example - Batman.

Zoe Kravitz was the first time we've seen Batman openly go after a black woman since maybe Eartha Kitt in 1967 - OVER 50 years apart

In the Christian Bale movies - he never flirts with black women. This classy, smooth Bruce Wayne isn't seen interacting with them. I mean... Why? Does he not like them? Or are the all the black people in Gotham just too poor to be around him to begin with?

????????? That don't add up. But that's how most characters are.

If a nonblack male character is shown in a relationship with a woman - the chances of that woman being cast as a black woman hits the FLOOR.

Their first choice is almost always white.

And the saddest thing is

Spider-Man is the biggest example of black erasure in romance and the effects it causes.

That's why when Zendaya got cast as MJ - it was a problem.

Because before then, during the 70 semi years of Peter Parker's existence - he was never shown on screen being attracted to black women in any capacity.

Betty, Gwen, Felicia, MJ - all white. In the cartoons, white. In the remake, white. Silk is probably one of - if not the - first POC we see Peter with. And they don't date, they've never been shown on screen, and over the past years Cindy has had a better written relationship with Felicia than she ever had with Peter.

For half a century we were conditioned to believe that Peter Parker dated white women with no representation or deviation.

Back in 2016 when TASM series was coming out, if you were a black reader who wanted to see yourself represented in any way or capacity on screen or in Fandom - good luck.

We're use to seeing these very romantically forward guys never flirting or fucking or dating black women. We're conditioned to accept this as normal.

It takes a genuine toll.

That's why when I was younger, I use to feel so insecure. Wondering if my favorite characters or celebrities would even find me slightly attractive. The idea that my favorite character wouldn't find me attractive because they've never been seen with a Black partner or interest ever not even once in passing hurts.

As a teen I just accepted that these characters 'Don't like black people' and can't find them attractive in that capacity. Because I mean, I have no reason to think they do - when most nonblack characters won't even look at a black female character for longer than 5 seconds.

Growing up I just accepted that these characters and the fandom as a whole did not see anything beautiful about me because of my race.

That's why Black readers should be more widespread.

We should be telling people that non-black men finding black women attractive is NORMAL.

I read SO many fics of black characters and go 'okay but they wrote reader as white.'

I have NEVER read a fic of a non-black character and gone 'okay they wrote the reader as Black'

Y'all.... You can write interracial relationships with characters that aren't black.

Interracial Relationships are not a special magic tool you can use to pair black characters up with non-black readers. Interracial Relationships go both ways.

If you're down for writing Hobie x NonBlack!Reader and writing an interracial relationship there - why are y'all not down for Miguel x Black!Reader?

Why are interracial relationships good when the black man experiences attraction outside his race towards nonblack people - but bad/unlikely when the nonblack man experiences attraction outside his race towards black people?

'Hobie loves everyone' Okay, Miguel would too. But I don't see the 'Hobie Loves' people rushing and pushing for inclusion in the Miguel tag. They don't care if fanwriters show Miguel 'loving everyone'.

They don't go -

'Miguel loves latinas, Miguel loves black women' in Miguel's tag.

Even though nonblack men experience attraction towards black people and black women everyday across the world.

Some are even married to us - can you believe it??

In conclusion - More Miguel x Black!Reader. More Miguel x Black!OC.

Give Miguel AfroLatino Babies!!!!

Give Miguel O'Hara a Nigerian Wife so help me God

Anyway - Big up @hrhmimieucliffe and their AMAZING Black OC Giselle, who has a ~thing~ ;) with Miguel (they are v cute!!)

More Miguel x Black!Reader. More Miguel with Black! OCs. I want a Miguel that likes his women like he likes his milkshakes - tall, sweet, thicc as fuck, and FULL OF CHOCOLATE

And once again, that's on WHAT!!!!

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scoobydoodean · 2 months

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Hi! I just wanted to start off by saying that your analyses on the characters are awesome and they really helped further my understanding of the show, so keep up the good work! :D

I was wondering, if you don't mind answering, what did you think of about Dean giving permission for Gadreel/Ezekiel to possess Sam in season 9?

I'm still a bit on the fence about how to feel about it and I thought your particular brand of wisdom might be able to help me out.

Dean had just a few pieces of information at the hospital in 9.01.

Dean knew that Sam had every intention of surviving The Trials in 8.14 and in fact Sam promised he would survive them and show Dean to the light at the end of the tunnel, because Dean was suicidal: "I'm closing the gates. It's a suicide mission for you. [...] I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it."

Dean observed that Sam became suicidal over the course of The Trials and that this culminated in Sam forsaking his promise and his desire to live and falling into a tailspin where he wanted to die to make himself "pure". Disturbing dialogue from 8.21: "Knights of the Round Table. Had all of King Arthur's knights, and they were all on the quest for the Holy Grail. And I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad, and, and, and he was kneeling, and— and light streaming over his face, and— I remember... thinking, uh, I could never go on a quest like that. Because I'm not clean. I mean, I w— I was just a little kid. You think... maybe I knew? I mean, deep down, that— I had... demon blood in me, and about the evil of it, and that I'm— wasn't pure? [...] It doesn't matter anymore. Because these trials... they're purifying me."

Dean pleaded with Sam not to kill himself in 8.23, and Sam agreed, asking, "How do I stop?"

These are the details Dean has prior to Sam falling into a coma. He believes that his brother wanted to commit suicide, but that he did change his mind and decide he wants to live.

Two other notable details:

First, Gadreel earns Dean's trust quickly by risking his ass to help Dean, and then on the phone (after being given the fake name "Ezekiel") Cas, relieved and pleased, vouches for Ezekiel. So Dean has no reason to suspect anything nefarious (and in fact, at this point, Gadreel doesn't have particularly nefarious intentions besides staying in hiding away from other angels).

Second, Dean is not the one who pleads with Sam to live in the dream sequence, getting him to say "Yes". It can't be Dean, because 1) "Dean's" face morphs into Gadreels which is clearly intended to indicate to us that this wasn't Dean speaking 2) If Gadreel was somehow projecting the real Dean into the conversation to give that speech, then Gadreel wouldn't be the one receiving the consent. It would truly be Dean receiving it and not just Gadreel pretending. Those words HAVE to come from Gadreel's mouth for the possession to work—not Dean's. We've seen angels morph into loved ones and mimic their voices perfectly several times.

With all that in mind:

After Gadreel pitches his plan to possess Sam, Dean immediately says it isn't his call to make—it's Sam's. It's after Gadreel shows him Sam falling back into the same suicidality from 8.23—wanting to die so that "no one else can get hurt because of me"—that Dean wavers. Still—at the end of the day, whether Sam agrees to live or not was never Dean's choice, and this is something I often see people get mixed up about. Dean doesn't get to choose whether Sam dies or not. It is still Sam who chooses to live. Sam does this by saying "Yes" to Gadreel. This could not have happened if Sam hadn't changed his mind about living. He doesn't know he's going to be possessed, but he has once again beaten back his suicidality and chosen to live. Sam still had hope in a good future.

Sam chose to live. He did not know he was going to be possessed. That's the issue. However, Dean did not intend to keep Gadreel's possession from Sam after it happened. Dean and Gadreel have this conversation upon leaving the hospital:

DEAN So? How's it look in there? EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY Not good. There is much work to be done. DEAN Yeah, but he's gonna wake up, right? EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY He will. DEAN So, what he does – what, is he gonna feel you inside, triaging his spleen? EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY He will not feel me, no. There is no reason for Sam to know I'm in here at all. DEAN You're joking. No, this is – this is too big. EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY And what will he do if you do tell him he is possessed by an angel? DEAN Well, he'll have to understand.

This conversation suggests that Dean's initial thought process was "We perform supernatural life-saving surgery". He just wanted to get Sam to a point where he'd wake up and they could talk. Like any situation with a relative in a coma, that person in a coma can't consent to surgery. The next of kin is the one who gives consent, because their loved one can't. They can only consent to a procedure if awake to do so. So Dean doesn't stop Gadreel from performing life saving surgery, but his intial belief and intent is that they'll put all of this back in Sam's hands when he's awake.

Up to this point, I don't actually have a problem with what Dean's done based on his knowledge. It's here at the end of the episode, where Gadreel convinces Dean to depart from his intial intent and stall, that in my opinion, the "Dean doing something wrong" part starts:

EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY And if he does not? Without his acceptance, Sam can eject me at any time, especially with me so weak. And if Sam does eject me, he will die. DEAN Then we keep it a secret for now. Or until Sam's well enough that he doesn't need an angelic pacemaker or I find a way to tell him. I - I... As for him being in a hospital, I'll have to figure something out. EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY I can erase it all, if you like. He will not remember any of this.

Dean doesn't feel good about it, but he agrees to keep quiet, because he's scared Sam will yet again make a suicidal play. Dean is riddled with guilt in the following episodes over lying to Sam, and in 9.08, Dean tries to tell Sam he's possessed, but Gadreel takes over Sam's body and stops him. Dean comes clean again in 9.09, only for Gadreel to stop Sam from receiving the news again.

So. Dean's mistake is lying to Sam. He shouldn't have lied to him. Point blank. At the same time, had Dean pushed the issue, would Gadreel have been willing to be expelled? Would he ever have allowed Dean to tell Sam the truth, from the moment he was... installed? Or was Dean screwed from the beginning, and was the idea that he got to choose any of this—any bit of it—really just... an illusion to keep Dean compliant with the possession that was keeping Gadreel under the radar?

Think about it for a second. Why did Gadreel ask Dean's permission? He didn't ever need Dean's permission to do any of this. He didn't need Dean's permission to trick Sam. He didn't need Dean's permission to remove Sam's memory of the hospital. He didn't need Dean's permission to keep the fact that he was possessing Sam a secret. He could have done every bit of this without asking. The problem was, Dean probably would have caught onto the disappearing angel act, and Gadreel would have had to get violent, and for the first part of season 9, Gadreel doesn't want to get violent! He just wants a place to lay low, and sees an opportunity to prove he's a good angel who helps humans—not just the angel who let the serpent into the garden. Getting Dean's "consent" might ease his own conscience about nonconsensual possession or be a way to keep Dean compliant or both, but ultimately, these are more questions worth weighing imo, because Supernatural loves to toy with the illusion that Dean has power in situations where he doesn’t, and in this case, he doesn't... actually have any power at all... does he?

That said, when it comes right down to it, Dean still did something wrong by helping keep the secret—by not trying to tell Sam the truth immediately because he was scared. And well. Okay. So what?

This is a show with characters who have good intentions but still make mistakes. As Cas will say about this later, "You were stupid for the right reasons". We get some great insights into the pitfalls that lead Dean down this path, and it's interesting to watch that happen and then later, see a broken mirror as Sam endeavors to prove through season 10 what Dean is willing to do can't touch what Sam is ultimately willing to do to keep Dean around.

Here's the thing—I don't believe for a single second that Sam wouldn't do the exact same thing in 9.01 had their positions been reversed. Sam and Dean have a conversation along these lines at the end of 9.13 "The Purge":

DEAN All right, you want to be honest? If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing. SAM No, Dean. I wouldn't. Same circumstances...I wouldn't.

This genuinely wounds Dean and gets brought up a few times, but then in 9.23 when it's brought up for the last time in another context:

DEAN What happened with you being okay with this? SAM I lied.

Sam never gets the chance to do the exact same thing to Dean, but he has already gone behind Dean's back to try and save his life before. He's used Dean's death to justify doing things Dean begged him not to do on his behalf. He kept the case they were actually on under wraps as he inched toward a plan to turn himself and Dean into Frankenstein's monsters in 3.15 (and really the only reason it didn't work is that Sam got captured by Doc Benton and Dean had to save his ass, and then Sam morosely helped dig the grave). Sam went behind Dean's back directly against his wishes to threaten a crossroad's demon in 3.05. In season 10, he violates Dean's consent by removing the Mark of Cain from Dean's arm using the Book of the Damned, which not only requires an overt human sacrifice of Oskar and gets a woman named Suzie killed in "The Werther Project" because Sam refuses to heed her warnings, but also results in the apocalypse... and all of this was something Dean asked Sam not to do, and Sam did every bit of it to get his brother back, and while standing in the wreckage in 11.01, echoed Dean's line from 9.13, saying, "I would do it again". Dean signed the supernatural possession next-of-kin consent form, and the fallout was Kevin and Sam. Sam violated Dean's consent and tens of thousands of people died and he said he'd do it again while they died around him.

#also i got excited but xoxo 😘#season 9 #9.01 #gadreel #the flannel business #3.15 #3.05 #11.01 #9.13 #8.14 #9.08 #9.09 #mail

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pagannatural · 1 month

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2.09 Croatoan

-my beloved

-The brothers go to Oregon because Sam has a vision of Dean shooting someone who pleads for his life.

-Sam thinks Dean is violent and out of control because of his grief but he’s actually violent and out of control because he’s losing his mind over Sam.

-Sam looks very Scared Little Brother when they realize the town has no phone signal. He stands really close to Dean. Sam is right. I forgot how scary this episode is.

-Sam hesitates to kill the son who had the mom tied up, and Dean berates him. Dean calls the son a “monster” and Sam says “it was a kid.” Dean likes a clean line between monster and human.

-Sam is always the one who comforts the victims and tells people everything will be okay, another way in which his role in the relationship is traditionally feminine. He’s the one women find non-threatening. (And he’s too distracted by Dean to be attracted to them).

-When the mom, Beverly, says “one minute they were my husband and my son and the next they had the devil in them” the camera cuts to Sam and Dean. This line could be Dean describing a blood-drinking Sam: one minute he was my husband and my son and the next he had the devil in him.

-One of the armed men blocking the road out of town asks Dean to get out of the car to “talk a little,” and Dean says “you are a handsome devil but I don’t swing that way, sorry.” It’s easy to forget that in the early 2000s, this kind of throwaway joke on network tv didn’t usually hint at a character’s hidden sexuality, it was just a vaguely biphobic little joke. But I do think there’s a reason it’s here.

The Croatoan virus is a demonic virus spread from blood infection that’s not visible just by looking at someone. So we have a little AIDS parallel. It’s also a similar concept to Sam’s demon blood. His blood represents choice and sin and the human mixed with the monstrous. Blood is also associated with family.

Incest and queerness are taboos that have often been conflated in fiction (and in history), and both have been strongly associated with monstrosity—think predatory sexuality, birth defects, infertility, rejection of the natural order. A desire that’s dangerous and wrong and destructive, that must stay hidden and can only survive in the shadows. The homoerotic incestuous monster hunters are the perfect storm of gothic queer horror.

Whether or not either brother is queer doesn’t affect the plot, and isn’t the point. I can see Dean grappling with being in love with Sam without questioning his sexuality at all. Sam is a category unto himself to Dean, and Sam doesn’t appear bothered about his sexuality aside from his feelings about Dean. But the confluence of these taboos—incest and queerness—with blood is central to the plot of the show and the question of what evil is. Really their love for each other and their shared blood is what saves them, keeps them human.

-Another of my absolute favorite underrated wincest moments is when Beverly is begging for her life from the utility room and Dean asks Sam “are you sure she’s one of them?” Sam barely nods and it’s enough for Dean to shoot her three times point blank. He doesn’t need any more information, just for Sam to nod slightly.

-Sam suggests that they need to leave to warn others of the virus and Dean tells him he has a good point. They respect each other’s input and work together well.

-Duane shows up and the situation becomes very tense. Sam is standing with his whole body facing Dean. In moments of extreme stress, Sam often seeks Dean’s protection rather than focusing on the threat.

-Dean has a gun on Duane with some urgency but Sam says “I gotta talk to you—now” and Dean leaves the room with him immediately.

Sam argues that they should wait and not kill Duane in case he isn’t infected. Dean says “what’s that buy us?”

“A clear conscience, for one.”

“Well it’s too late for that.” Is Dean talking about his guilt over John’s death? Or is this more about his general self hatred around never being enough to be everything for everyone, to give Sam everything that he needs and be the perfect son and soldier and brother and father and mother?

Sam tells him “you don’t act like yourself anymore, Dean. You’re acting like one of those things out there.” Dean does feel lost. He needs Sam to save him so that he can save Sam.

-Sam is so devoted to Dean this season. He spent season 1 gradually giving into his complete trust and commitment to Dean and now he’s been losing him or at risk of losing him in different ways all season. He fights tooth and nail for Dean every step of the way to get him to listen, to talk, to come back to him.

-Dean pushes Sam out of the way and locks him out, aiming to kill Duane. He says “it’s not him, not any more” and “I’ve got no choice.” But then Dean decides not to shoot him.

-When the doctor asks if it’s alright to untie Duane, Dean and Sam seem to have a wordless conversation in which Dean defers to Sam’s judgement, and Sam tells the doctor it’s okay to untie him.

-Sam is Dean’s morality. Dean is submitting to Sam, needing him to help him make the right choice. By doing this he’s also believing in Sam’s ability to stay good.

-Sam says about Dean not killing Duane “you know I’m gonna ask you why.”

Dean replies “yeah I know,” not looking up, focusing on keeping his hands busy making Molotov cocktails.

“So why? Why didn’t you do it?”

Dean looks at Sam with his chin tucked, like it’s hard to meet his eyes. He doesn’t answer. He clears his throat and says “we need more alcohol,” basically asking Sam to leave for a moment so that he can pull it together. He gazes after Sam with this raw, shamed look.

It’s the first of two parallels in this episode to their conversation in 1.19 where Sam says his reticence to date is mostly not about Jessica, and Dean asks “then what is it about?” and Sam just looks at him, implying heavily that it’s about Dean.

The question Dean was asking Sam there was essentially, Why can’t you love anyone else?

The first question Sam asks Dean is why he didn’t kill someone, but it’s also why Dean wants to do the right thing and not lose himself, and the answer is because of Sam.

-After Sam is attacked, he reaches for Dean’s hand to help him up off the floor and then just leaves his hand outstretched after Sarge holds Dean back and tells him Sam is infected. It’s like his muscle memory of reach-out-hand, Dean-pulls-me-up hasn’t caught on.

-The whole time Dean argues with the others about Sam, Sam only looks at the floor or at Dean. He’s not watching the conversation, he’s watching Dean because he’s scared and he looks to Dean when he’s scared.

-Dean says “no one’s shooting my brother”

He’s so protective. He was about to kill someone who might be infected just in case, but when it’s Sam he would simply rather die in a murder suicide and that’s that on that.

-Sam asks for the gun so that he can shoot himself, saying “I’m not gonna become one of those things.” This episode is pure foreshadowing for the end of s5. Sam refuses to become a monster, Dean chooses to stand by him and die rather than kill him. Because of their faith in each other, because they waited, things work out.

-Dean hands over the keys to the impala. He’s not fucking around. He tells the doctor “oh actually we’re not really marshals.” He’s in a truth telling mood, fuck it.

-Sam asks Dean to leave him and keep living, looking at him with incredulity and gratitude and love and fear.

Dean leaving him alone to die or become a monster would fulfill Sam’s deepest fear—left behind, not belonging, because something is wrong with him. But he still asks Dean to go, he throws a fit, he tells him “this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” It reminds me of that scene from Titanic, Jack telling Rose “you’re so stupid” for staying with him instead of saving herself.

He says “it’s over for me, it doesn’t have to be for you.”

“No?”

“No. You can keep going.”

“Who says I want to?”

This scene is so dramatic and romantic. Close shots of their faces, Sam looking up at Dean with his eyes full of tears, begging him. Dean tells Sam he doesn’t want to go on without him.

Sam asks, what?

For a moment it almost looks like he’s taking this as the confession that it is, before Dean puts some distance between them and leans against the wall. This is the second scene is this episode to parallel their conversation in 1.19, this time even more closely.

Sam thinks Dean doesn’t want to go on because their dad died, but Dean says “you’re wrong. It’s not about dad. I mean part of it is, sure, but-“

Sam interrupts to ask “then what is it about?” and Dean gives him this look,

this look of love and tenderness, like he’s willing Sam to understand.

This time Sam’s question is Why don’t you want to live? And the answer is that Dean doesn’t want to live without Sam.

I love how this scene makes clear that Sam’s romantic partners compare directly to Dean. It confirms what Sam was thinking about in 1.19, because for these scenes to rhyme they must have been thinking about each other.

-The brothers share a romantic beer at the lake. Sam asks Dean what he was talking about last night in a way that honest-to-god sounds like he’s referring to pillow talk. Dean doesn’t want to tell so Sam keeps pushing, but their tones are teasing and light. They really sound like they’re flirting. Dean suggests that they go to the Grand Canyon.

Sam keeps questioning him, gentle but insistent, as Dean talks about taking a break.

-Where is our Grand Canyon episode?

-Sam looks so scared when Dean says John told him something about Sam before he died. I wonder what’s running through his head. There’s this feeling that people with Sam’s negative core belief often get, which is a fear that something is deeply wrong or rotten in them and that eventually other people will find out. He’s probably thinking that’s finally happened.

#samdean #supernatural #spn meta #wincest #spn 2x09

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art-tism · 2 months

Text

In Our Silence- Dean x Fem! Reader

AN: I want to make this a longer multiple-part series with a slow burn friends to lovers trope. Eventual (probably) Smut in future parts. This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction, so I hope it's okay!

(Part 1: Movie Night?) | (Part 2: Coming soon) |

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: None, just fluff

also okay, can we appreciate this gif, dear GOD

Movie Night

Leaning against the side of the Impala, I arched my neck back, tilting my head toward the car's roof. The August sun cast a golden hue over everything, its warmth caressing me from my neck down to my toes. The air was filled with the scent of late summer, a mix of fresh grass with a faint hint of wildflowers. I savored the beautiful weather, the temperature a perfect eighty degrees, with a gentle breeze tousling my hair pushing the clouds along lazily in the sky—it was a moment suspended in time. I wished to stay in this rare opportunity to truly be present forever.

As I passively watched particles stir around in the light beams burning through the dense leaves above, I couldn’t help but be transported back to a time when I spent my free time outdoors, immersed in nature's beauty, trying to connect with the world around me and traversing the landscapes of North America. I still drive across the country and back, but for very different reasons. The hunter life keeps me constantly on the move, now always on edge waiting for the next creature, the next battle, the next world-ending event. It was a life of constant vigilance, with little time for reflection or stillness.

Despite the chaos of my life, at this moment, leaning against the sleek metallic black of Dean’s prized possession, I felt a sense of contentment wash over me. The world lulled to a momentary pause, for just a moment, as stay there. I closed my eyes, letting the warmth of the sun and the soft caress of the wind soothe my senses once more. For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine a different life filled with moments like this again. But that was nonsense, a distant memory now softened by time. I've come to find satisfaction in the life I've made for myself today. Everyone in the hunting world has a reason for being there, and it's often born from tragedy. I accepted this life because it led me to the Winchester brothers. My entry into the hunting world was marked by meeting Sam and Dean Winchester, an event that, as anyone familiar with the name 'Winchester' might guess, was perhaps the most harrowing night of my life.

I lost my family to a rogue vampire, one that had been terrorizing my town for about a week before setting its sights on my home. The reasons for their choice will forever remain a mystery to me. At that moment, I lost everything and nearly lost my life as well. It was then that Sam and Dean intervened, saving me at the eleventh hour as I resigned myself to my fate. The details of that night are hazy, and I prefer to keep them that way. But what I do recall, even when I try to forget, is the sensation of lying in the back of the Impala, Sam's comforting presence as he silently held my trembling body.

Sam was my rock, a beacon of kindness and support in the aftermath of my tragedy. He refused to let me drown in despair, always there to gently nudge me towards self-care, ensuring I ate and got out of bed, even when the world felt like it was collapsing around me. In Sam, I found solace and a sense of belonging, a reminder that I wasn't alone in the dark. Dean, on the other hand, was an enigma. Beneath his tough exterior, I sensed a tender heart, a vulnerability he seldom revealed. I knew he cared for me, just as Sam did, but his approach was more guarded, more hesitant. It was as if he struggled to find the right words, the right way to express his concern for me, a stranger whose life had become entwined with theirs after what, to them, was just another case.

Dean was reserved, his approach cautious and measured, especially considering all I had just endured. His way of showing compassion was subtle yet profound, offering silent support, giving me space when I needed it, and denying me space when he knew it wasn't good for me. For all they had done for me, I felt a love unlike any I had ever known. It was a love that transcended blood, a bond forged in the fires of hardship and loss.

When I lost my family, I believed I would never experience that kind of connection again, and that I would spend the rest of my life alone and disconnected. I thought holidays would be empty, void of meaning. But the Winchester brothers showed me that the bond of a chosen family can be just as strong, if not stronger, than the ties of blood. They taught me the true meaning of "the Blood of the Covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." My hands wandered up to the side of Baby, absent-mindedly tracing circles lightly in the thin layer of dust on her exterior. Thoughts of Dean flooded my mind, his love for this car evident in every lovingly maintained detail. I chuckled softly, a fond smile tugging at my lips as I marveled at how this car could always lift his spirits, just as he had done for me so many times. As I continue lingering on that thought for a moment longer, I am snapped back to by a sudden voice.

In the warmth of the afternoon sun, Dean's teasing words danced through the air, his playful tone echoing with affection. "That's where the hell you've been the whole time?" he chided lightly, his voice carrying a melody of lightheartedness. "I was about to start up a search party looking for you." Though his smile radiated warmth, there lingered a glint of concern in his eyes, a silent plea for reassurance.

I couldn't help but chuckle at his jest, my heart swelling with fondness. "Just enjoying the nice day, no case, no research, and a warm breeze," I replied, my voice soft with contentment. A beam of happiness graced my lips as I finished speaking, the simplicity of the moment washing over me. As my laughter mingled with the gentle breeze, Dean's shoulders slightly relaxed, a subtle release of tension I hadn't noticed before. With a sense of serenity, I straightened myself, the day's dust clinging to my clothes like a reminder of our shared adventures.

I turned to face him, “Apologies, did I worry you, Mr. Winchester?” I teased him lightly, catching his gaze momentarily, our eyes lingering for just a moment. “Well,” he laughed and shifted slightly in discomfort “just don’t like to worry, you know?” He looked down, flickering his eyes back up to meet mine. His striking eyes captured mine once more, pausing briefly before he tugged his gaze away towards the bunker door. “Sam and I just finished cooking, Sammy wasn’t interested in another night of Diner food,” he laughed more light-heartedly than before, “and I figured you’d want to enjoy my homecooked burgers before they got cold.” He shot me a smirk, Dean was fully aware of my love for his cooking, especially his burgers. They were a million times better than one from any of the hundreds of restaurants you guys have eaten at across the country. “You got me there,” I giggled slightly, following Dean inside.

"Oh, Dean," I let out a small gasp of pleasure as I chewed my first bite, savoring the taste of his culinary masterpiece. "This burger is amazing," I exclaimed with my mouth full, unable to contain my appreciation for the dinner he helped prepare. I closed my eyes, relishing each bite as I ate slowly, letting the flavors dance on my tongue. "I swear, you get better every time," I added after taking another bite, savoring the moment. I took a sip of the Kombucha I had swiped from Sam, enjoying the raspberry hibiscus flavor he had deemed unsuitable. Dean smirked at me, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "I'd love to hear you say that again," he teased, winking at me “But I’d like to hear it in another context.” A warm flush crept up my cheeks at his words, his playful banter never failing to send flutters through my body. Though I knew he was joking, the sincerity in his eyes made my heart skip a beat.

I averted my gaze, striking up a conversation with Sam to avoid more flirtatious joke from Dean. "Sammy, thank you for letting me drink the Raspberry Hibiscus ones, I really like them," I said, raising my half empty kombucha bottle in a slight cheers gesture and giving him a playful smile.

"Of course," Sam chuckled. He shifted gears, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "Hey, I was thinking about going out, maybe bar hop a little tonight. You down to come with me?" he asked, his gaze flickering between mine as he waited for my reply. I knew I didn't have the social battery for a night out; I had spent most of the morning doing some much-needed deep cleaning in the bunker.

"Actually," I began, my voice playful but resolute, "I think I'll pass on the booze, and hooking up with strangers for tonight. Cleaning up after you and your brother's messy acts has left me utterly exhausted." I rolled my eyes with exaggerated flair, making it clear that my words were laced with affectionate exasperation. Teasing the boys was always a delightful game; it was our unspoken way of showing how much we cared.

Turning to Dean, I pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You," I chided, a smile playing at my lips, "need to stop leaving your dirty clothes strewn about. I washed, dried, and folded them," I paused, letting the weight of my words sink in, "but if you continue leaving them everywhere, I might just have to start tossing them out." It was a lighthearted threat, and I knew I would inevitably find myself doing both Sam and Dean’s laundry again soon. But it was all part of our dynamic, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Teasing Dean always brought a sense of warmth to my heart; he was so much more animated than Sam.

"You wouldn’t!" Dean gasped; his tone mockingly scandalized. He played along with my joke, knowing full well that I would never actually discard any of his clothes, except, perhaps, those stained with blood from our hunts.

"Will you stop leaving your dirty clothes on the floor then?" I said through a smirk.

Dean paused, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he responded. "I think it would be much more fun if both of our clothes ended up on the floor," he winked at me, his innuendo not at all subtle. Dean had a knack for turning anything into a suggestive remark. It was one of the things I found both exasperating and endearing about him.

"Douchebag Jar!" I exclaimed, pointing at him, unmoved by his pleading eyes.

"What! Oh, come on, Y/N, it's all in good fun," Dean protested, flashing a charming smile, hoping to escape my playful reprimand.

"Nope, sorry Dean, rules are rules, and you already hit your dirty joke quota for the night" I replied firmly, crossing my arms with mock seriousness. "Right, Sam?" I turned to Sam, who was grinning and clearly enjoying the banter. "She’s right, Dean, rules are rules. You owe a dollar to the Douchebag Jar. Maybe consider not making dirty jokes all the time, and you wouldn’t lose all your money to it." The jar was filling up fast again, thanks to Dean's basically daily innuendos. He always had another dirty joke or pick up line his sleeve, ready to blurt it out the second someone slips up and says something slightly suggestive. It was a wicked game to him, regardless of how innocent and respectful his behavior with me actually was. It wasn’t like Dean to ever mean it, Whenever he whipped one of his classic dirty jokes, his eyes crinkled and his face slowly morphed into a mischievous smile. I knew he only did it to get a ride out of me, and it’s not like he can direct all of his flirtatious energy at Sammy right?

I would, however, be a liar if I tried to claim his words never brought butterflies to my stomach, I know it’s just jokes, but something in his eyes makes them feel that much more real…

“Sammy!” Dean exclaimed dramatically, throwing his hands up in mock despair and snapping back from my wondering thoughts.

“Sorry, Dean, but rules are rules," I said, a hint of amusement in my tone. "You can't escape the Douchebag Jar that easily." I watched as Dean fished out a dollar, grumbling playfully as he dropped it into the jar.

"Happy now?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Ecstatic," I replied with a grin, the tension of the moment melting away. "Now, what do you say we watch a movie or something? I haven’t had my semi-monthly Pride and Prejudice screening." My eyes twinkled mischievously, knowing full well how much Dean despised anything remotely related to period dramas.

#dean winchester #dean x y/n #dean x reader #Dean Winchester x reader #supernatural #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural x reader #Sam Winchester #Castiel #spn text post #Facfiction

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cissyenthusiast010155 · 1 year

Note

Can you do Lady Lesso with prompt 34.

Hiiiii @principal-weems09 !! Thanks so much for another request 💕 I went with a soft Lesso for this one. I hope you enjoy it! 😊

Softening Her Heart ~Soft!Leonora Lesso xFem Student!Reader

Mommy…Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

#34. “Is this what’s been bothering you? Oh my, well I’m sure we can fix that.”

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!, smut, medium slow burn, fingering, kissing, praise kink, mommy kink, age gap (all legal), etc.

Enjoy (;

You were one of the oldest students at the school, top of your class, spotless record (especially for a Never), and skilled sorceress.

Staff members always told you how elegantly and maturely you spoke and acted.

You had few friends your age, as you found you bonded better with the Professors than your actual peers.

But all of that was thrown out the window every time you set foot in Professor Lesso’s classroom…

In there, you were a mess… to say the least…

Sure, you did well academically, but you found yourself being pushed to be better at the thought of some sort of recognition from the red head.

And her class was difficult.

She pushed all of her students.

Plus, you had a knack of getting lost in her clothing choices for the day or her sultry, deadly tone…

So you tried extra hard.

But you were never the best.

Never the favorite.

Or so you thought…

There was something about Lesso that you couldn’t get to like you.

You knew what it was: You weren’t evil.

Or at least her standard of evil.

All those lingering glances she gave were reserved for others…

All those snide comments for others…

All those physical aberrations for others…

To you, she seemed to pay no mind.

She seemed to…

~~~

Today was no different.

You walked into class and right on cue, your stomache tensed just as it always did when you had class with Lady Lesso.

You sighed, sitting in your chair in the back as always.

You noted the new and stylish Trenchcoat that Lesso was wearing today.

The lesson droned on as usual, and you paid attention like you were supposed to. And every time she called on her favorite student, the back of your hairs pricked up…

The class eventually ended, and Lesso dismissed the students to lunch.

Even through all the agony, you didn’t give up.

You couldn’t really.

As your peers filed out, you made it to be the last one to leave, but before doing so you caught Lesso’s attention.

“Professor?” you meekly asked, so different from your usual matter of fact tone.

“Hmmm, what is it?” Lesso stated, not even taking the time to even look up at you.

Your words froze. Of course they did… They always froze around Lesso.

When you didn’t respond, Lesso did look up at you, seemingly staring straight into your soul.

This made everyone 100% worse.

“Um… I… I just wanted to say that I really like your Trenchcoat It’s stylish and trendy but also very fitting to your vibe!” You blurted out, cheeks flushing with more red.

“Your an odd one aren’t you?” Lesso quipped.

“What?” You responded, confused and embarrassed by your massive blunder in speech.

“You’re Special.”

��Oh. Thank you…”

You honestly didn’t know what to say… What did “Special” mean??

“Ok, Have a good day…!” you said as you practically ran out of the room.

~~~

The school year has ended and the student body had left for the summer.

Well, most of the student body…

There were a few students who stayed through some if not all of the summer. You were one of those, who didn’t really have anywhere else to go so you stayed.

You spent most of your time in your room and the library.

Every so often, you’d run into the evil dean who’d send you an evil smirk accompanied by a wink.

This was the first time that she had started giving you any attention…

Well except that one time after school with her calling you “Special”…

You still hadn’t figured that out…

Regardless, you headed down to the library on this early morning. You found your nook and plopped yourself there.

Hours flew by. Before you realized it, it was dark outside.

You heard the library door creak open and peaked to see who it was.

Your eyes widened as your gaze was met with the one and only Leonora Lesso’s.

And then she began gliding over to you, precariously leaning herself against the bookcase across from you.

You sat there, blush creeping up your cheeks, and said nothing.

Lesso chuckled, looking down to the floor and then staring right back into your soul.

“Didn’t see you at breakfast, lunch, or dinner…” she noted.

“Oh. Yea… I didn’t realize how much time had passed…” you sheepishly admitted, having trouble meeting her gaze and looking for anything else to look at.

Lesso hummed in response, and silence assumed once again.

“What did you mean “Special”?” You blurted, breaking the silence.

“Excuse me?” Lesso asked with her usual bite.

“Oh well… Last semester you called me… special…” your voice had been reduced to a stuttering whimper, “I was wondering what you meant…”

Lesso tilted her head back in acknowledgement of your words.

“I suppose… I meant that you are different than my other students. You do things differently. You want things differently. It’s distinctive.”

You were actually quite surprised that you had gotten such an answer from the dean.

For one, it was in depth. But secondly, she didn’t even truly know why??

“Ah, I see…”

“What do you want?” Lesso purred, now her attention intent on you.

“Eh… umm, I suppose I want connection… I tend to…” you whispered.

“Tend to what?”

“Tend to connect to my instructors rather than my peers…” you finished your though with embarrassment and almost shame.

Plus the presence and closeness of Lesso was not helping. That tension in your stomache had immediately arrived when she did and it was only growing….

And then she came even closer, crouching down to meet your eye level…

“How about you come work for me in the mornings from now until the semester starts? Starting tomorrow at 9.”

“Ok.”

There Lesso left you, a flustered mess.

And you had had only one thought when she had come that close to you…

Kiss me…

~~~

After that interaction, you were extremely split. You ran back to your dorm, your chest heaving.

You had feelings for the dean of evil…?

How had you not seen it before??

Your whole world was spinning, your legs were still weak from the prior interaction.

And now, you were expected meet and work with her every morning for the rest of the summer…!

Specifically, tomorrow morning!!

You didn’t know how you were going to face her…

~~~

You woke up with next morning with a knot of tension in your stomache from the get go.

But today, you understood what that knot was and your accompanied damp knickers…

You had had a very vivid dream of Lesso doing some explicitly sinful things to you…

And you desperately tried to shake it off of your mind.

For gods sake, now she was fucking with your sleep now too??

You sighed and made your way to her office. Your hand shaked and legs wobbled as you knocked on her door.

“Come in!” You heard the red head call.

You entered and shuddered as the you saw the tall specimen sitting at her desk.

“Sit. I have set some papers aside for you to complete.” Lesso instructed you.

You did as you were told and sat with shortened breath, a heightened heart rate, shaky movements, and flushed cheeks.

You two worked in silence for hours.

But your different behavior didn’t go unnoticed by Lesso…

Your fidgeting with your feet and hands…

Your lingering stares at the red head…

Your gasps when her gaze met yours and she caught you staring…

You thighs inadvertently clenching together…

When she had caught the twenty hundredth lip bite from you, Lesso couldn’t help herself.

“What is the matter with you today? Is there something bothering you?” Lesso bit, annoyance clear in her tone

You were stunned that Lesso would ask such a thing, and a bit stung from how annoyed she sounded.

“Um… no… I’m fine…” you stuttered.

“You are most definitely not.” Lesso seethed, “All your behavior today has been inexcusably irritating. I asked you because I thought you’d just follow the rules in silence, not annoy me to death.”

Now that really stung.

And tightened your coil even more…

A tear threatened to fall from your eyes.

“I’m… I’m sorry I’ll leave…” you said with a crack in your voice.

And before Lesso could stop you, you had run out of the classroom.

~~~

Lesso knew she had done something terrible when you didn’t show up for dinner…

She hated to admit it, but you were something she didn’t understand.

She didn’t know you’d react that way this morning, she hadn’t meant to make you upset.

So Lesso settled to go check on you in your dorm.

Because as much as she hated to admit, you being different and mystery drew her to you…

She climbed up the stairs to you dorm and walked down the corridor. She paused at your door for a moment, reconsidering all of this.

But her thoughts were interrupted by a sound coming from your room.

She couldn’t make it out at first, but it pricked her ears enough to lean by the door and try to get a better hear.

“Oh Fuck, Leo…—!”

Lesso eyes widened at the sound of your moan.

Everything clicked for her now.

And it led her to make the obvious next decision…

Lesso swiftly swung the door open to find you sprawled across your bed, clothes still on and your hand slid under your skirt…

At the door opening and Lesso barging in, you immediately freaked.

You retracted your hand at lighting and scurried to the farthest part of the bed by the headboard.

Your chest was heaving and your breathing was erratic. Your heart beat was thumping in your ears like a fucking race horse.

You didn’t know what to say. You had been caught. What were you supposed to say??

“Is this what’s been bothering you?” Lesso managed to choke out, at the desperate sight in front of her.

You couldn’t met her eyes as you embarrassingly nodded slightly.

“Oh my, well I’m sure we can fix that.”

She closed the door and you heard the click of the lock.

What?

Your head swiveled to Lesso at that. You met her blown out pupils and her licking licking her lips.

“What?” You stuttered.

“Strip.”

You had so many questions but they didn’t matter right now.

What mattered was that Lesso had told you to do something and you were going to do it.

You got up from the bed and began removing all your clothes.

As you got to your undergarments, you became more and more self-conscious and immediately tried to hide yourself.

“No no…” Lesso chuckled, “I want to see all of you.” coming over to you and removing your hands.

You thought you were gonna melt on the spot when her hands met your body.

Your back arched into her touch, “please…” you whimpered.

“Already begging…?” Lesso purred, “Good. That means I won’t have to teach you manners, isn’t that right?”

“Yes mommy…” you whimpered, head rolling back slightly as Lesso had started rolling and pinching your nipple with her fingers.

“Oh would you look at that, she even knows who she belongs to…” Lesso purred, finally crashing her lips into yours.

You moaned and bucked your hips into the red head at her dominating the kiss.

Lesso used this as opportunity to fall onto your bed, successfully pining you below her.

She moved away from your lips earning a whimper from your lips.

“Oh hush...” Lesso teased, before attaching her lips onto your other nipple.

You back arched yet again to her touch, whimpers and whines escaping your lips at Lesso’s teasing.

“Please… please mommy need you…” you pled to the red head, attaching one hand to her luscious red locks and the other gripped the bed sheets.

“Need me? What do you need from mommy? Use your words…” Lesso purred.

“Want you to… to fuck me please mommy…!” You mewled, grinding yourself against Lesso’s clothed heat.

Lesso hummed in delight as she slipped a finger into your soaked cunt.

She began thrusting her finger into your hole, eliciting a wave of moans and cries of pleasure from your lips.

You continued to jerk your hips up to meet the pace in which Lesso was fucking you.

“More… More please mommy need more…!” You mewled breathlessly.

Lesso chuckled at your desperation, slipping a second finger into your aching heat.

“Fuuuuck yessss…” you hissed as her fingers stretched you out.

Lesso began expertly curling her fingers inside you, making you see fucking stars and scream bloody murder.

You were approaching your climax, and Lesso knew it.

She added a final third finger and went even deeper into your throbbing cunt, you screamed in pleasure as she stretched you out even more…

“Oh Fuck Mommy ‘Mmm gonna cum…!!” you cried out.

“Cum on Mommy’s fingers, good girl…” Lesso purred, drinking in the sight of you with her lust-filled, dark eyes.

“Fuuuuck Mommyyyy!!!” You screamed as your walls clenched around Lesso’s fingers and your orgasm crashed into you.

Lesso helped you down from your earth shattering high and carefully removed her fingers before ghosting her lips over the shell of your ear,

“If that’s how you sound with my fingers inside that pretty cunt of yours…”

You gulped.

“I wonder what sounds you’ll make on mommy’s dick…”

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rewatching-sam-and-dean · 4 months

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My Commentary on Rob and Rich Reviewing (4x14) Sex and Violence

I was listening to the latest Supernatural Then and Now Podcast (The Siren Episode) and I had to stop it after the Rob and Rich review to write down my thoughts because it annoyed me so much.

The guys both thought the episode was okay, but a bunch of things “bumped” for them. This is fine, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion about an episode, but some of the things that “bumped” for them “bump” for me.

My thoughts under the cut …

Bump # 1 - The Siren turning out to be a man

So, both Rs had an issue with the siren being a man since the lore showed them as women, and I think, because in real mythology they are women. Though they conceded that the a male siren could be a thing too, it seemed to really bother them that the siren ended up not being about a sexual connection with the brothers (though Rich saw the flask sharing scene as flirtatious … because no guys have ever shared a flask, including, Dean and Bobby).

I’m sorry, but the siren targeting the brothers, and using a version of an ideal brother to get to Dean isn’t a plot hole or a “stretch” or something, it’s an interesting choice and it’s exactly the point of the episode. While many men are vulnerable to a pretty woman who is into them, Dean just wants Sam. He wants his relationship with Sam to be better. In particular, he’s so worried about Sam and insecure in their bond that he wants a Sam who likes what he likes but, more importantly, one who listens to him and doesn’t hide things from him. And I know I’ve written about this before on a previous post, but Dean doesn’t NEED the siren to be a hot girl; he can find one of those easily. He needs a Sam he can trust. That’s the whole point. The show is drawing the comparison between sexual intimacy/romantic companionship (usually one of the most desired things in literature/media) to the brothers relationship to show how much brotherhood matters to Dean in particular (in this case).

The way the male siren actor portrays its interest in the brothers, to me, is very much like it’s intrigued and excited that it found a high even better than the sexual desire that it usually feeds off of. When the siren feels how desperate Dean is for the bond with Sam to be fixed, it finds him more interesting than it’s usual target. Dean’s longing for Sam (not sexual) is even stronger than the sexual desire or romantic companionship that the siren usually feeds off of, so much so that the siren changes its entire MO to go after the brothers.

Bump # 2 - The Doctor sleeping with Sam (when she isn’t the siren) is weird

So, the Rs disagreed on the “bumpiness” of this one. Rob thought it was weird that the doctor would just decide to sleep with Sam (at work), while it didn’t bother Rich because … Jared Padalecki. Sound argument (in this case), Rich.

Still, the doctor is a little unusual, and her behaviour is clearly intended to be a misdirect, but the show does a good enough job of suggesting she had a bad breakup (or worse) and is now just sort of living in the moment, so her behaviour doesn’t bother me. Also, Sam is hot.

What is stranger than the doctor’s behaviour, for the audience who knows him, is Sam having sex with her I that moment. Not only that, but Sam is very chill when she’s hitting on him, where in the past, Sam has often been a little shy or awkward with women that he’s been attracted to or interested in. So no, this is not Sam’s usual MO to sleep with the doctor, especially when we know he and Ruby are or were also sleeping together. Sam is not acting entirely like his usual self. And he hasn’t been acting entirely like himself for a while now.

Bump # 3 - The Siren telling the boys to fight each other and saying the winner can “be with” him

I don’t know why they had an issue with this. The siren literally explains that it loves the rush of having people willing to do anything for it, even kill people they love. What the siren tells the brothers doesn’t matter because it’s not like it’s really planning to have a relationship with the brother who wins the fight. And the boys are already infected at this point, so it’s just giving them incentive to fight. It’s not sticky about the sexual-ness of people’s need for the siren, it’s about the desperation they have to be with it (in whatever way).

Bump #4 - Sam dismissing the Doctor after sleeping with her.

The guys were both bothered by Sam not bothering to say goodbye to the doctor, and they mentioned that it seemed sort of old-school (womanizing?). Rob said that Sam dismissing her was more like something Dean would do than Sam. I know that I already said this, but this is the whole point. Sam hasn’t been acting like his old self. This isn’t an accidental writing mistake, where the writer accidentally wrote Sam more like Dean. Sam is different now.

It also isn’t like Sam to call Dean weak, or ridicule him for being messed up from his experience in hell. Season 2 Sam would never, and Season 3 Sam wouldn’t either. Season 4 Sam has changed from the trauma of losing Dean, drinking demon blood, and having Ruby in his ear.

Also, to play devils advocate on myself, Sam has actually left towns before without saying goodbye to the girl he had a connection with, maybe not after sleeping with her, but it’s not wholly out of character for him to leave without saying goodbye (I’m not criticizing him for this). Also, I really don’t think that doctor was looking for anything more from Sam beyond hooking up in her office, so this doesn’t bother me much.

Final thoughts

Anyway, I’m not arguing that everyone has to love every episode, or even like all the ones that I do. I’m not even arguing that people need to like Sex and Violence because it really can be a little uncomfortable, and there is a bit of a sexual undercurrent to it all, even though that’s not the sirens intention with the brother. That’s also not exactly new on Supernatural. However, it’s weird to me that so many of the things that “bumped” for Rob and Rich seem to me like very deliberate choices by the writers, not careless mistakes or pointlessly out of character. This episode reveals a lot about where Sam and Dean are at this point in the season, both individually and in their relationship.

Granted, I have the benefit of watching the episode and knowing where it’s all leading, but this is what sort of bothers me about hearing people discuss the show who are doing it for a purpose and are probably only half-invested in the story. They miss things that seem like they should be really clear. Also, it’s funny when they find things uncomfortably sexual in relation to Sam and Dean (they didn’t outright say that, but I think it was implied in what they said) and act like it’s a surprise or out of place. Again, this isn’t new. They obviously listened to too many hellers if they didn’t realize that Sam and Dean are weirdly close at times or that the show makes some pretty blatant parallels between them and couples or makes quasi-incestuous connections between Sam and Dean.

I have nothing else to add here. This was mostly just a rant, but feel free to add your two cents if you made it this far.

#supernatural #my thoughts #Rob and Rich critical #mildly #Sex and Violence #SPN Then and Now

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marksbear · 1 year

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Male reader???? Open Requests??? 👀 Perfect 😌

Please, if it isn't too much of an inconvenience for you, may I please request a Dean or Sam Winchester x Male!Reader story where Dean/Sam and the reader have been dating on the DL, haven't quite made it public yet, until the reader is put in a situation that makes Dean/Sam extremely jealous and overprotective (maybe something dealing with Crowley or a random stranger being flirty with them?) And they kinda out themselves in that situation due to the jealousy?

No worries if you can't! You're still amazing! ❤️ Have a wonderful holiday!

Hey big man! Hope you're having a great day and hoped you had a special holiday! @jayjet Tagged you so you don't have to search if I didn't or not.

Hope you don't mind if I chose Dean. If you want a Sam one also just say the word and i'll write it.

DEAN WINCHESTER X MALE READER

He wasn't ready. Dean wanted way more time before before he even thought about coming out as bisexual.

Of course you were respectable. You and him talked about boundaries and different topics like pda, telling other people and just etc. Dean didn't want no pda and people knowing. So you respected his choices and talked more about it.

Today you, Sam and dean were going to a nearby bar. It was a long day hunting the supernatural, so you suggested to just go somewhere and chill and that so happens to be at a bar.

Everything was going normal. Y'all had a table in the back drinking beers and whatever y'all wanted. Even had some chips on the table. Everything was going good until y'all ran out of beers.

Like if it was on cue a waiter strolls to the table placing beers down. All of you exchange looks because none of you ordered more. "Sorry I think you got the wrong table." Sam says trying to give the beers back earning a glare from his brother.

"No sir. A man over there ordered you some and paid for them." The woman says pointing at a man who is sitting in the shadows of the bar. "Uhm do you know him?" Y/n asks the waiter.

"Yes hes a frequent customer. He has never done this to anyone, so one of you might be special." The woman gives the group one last smile before heading off.

Y/n gives the brother a confused look before turning back around at the man who bought them drinks. "Let's go talk to him." Sam says much to his brother's annoyance. Y/n stands up from his chair walking to the man's table as the brothers trail behind them.

"Hi stranger." The man says first watching Y/n take a seat while the brothers stand behind Y/n staring down at him. "Hi. Thanks for the drinks back there." Y/n thanks him with a smile.

"Your welcome handsome~" The man makes a bold flirt shamelessly not even caring for the shorter man that's standing is glaring bullets at him. The comment makes Y/n chuckle.

"But if you mind can I ask you why you bought them for us?" Y/n asks leaning back into his chair crossing his arms. "It's simple really. I bought them for you. I mean it's not often when I see such a handsome man like you." That comment catches Y/n a bit off guard and his cheeks become hot."Uhm anyways. What's your name?"

"Alex. And what's your name?" "It's Y/n and this is Dean and Sam." Y/n answers pointing at the brothers. Alex looks at Dean's pissed face and smirks to himself planning something. "Y/n why is a man like you here? You should be on the big screen or in magazines. You're way too handsome to be here. Wasting so much potential."

Before Y/n could respond Alex adds more to his last comment. "I am a photographer. I was wondering if I could take some pictures with that beautiful body and face of yours-----" "NO." Dean cuts Alex. Dean pulls Y/n's arm getting him off the chair. But sadly Alex reacted fast as well taking a hold of Y/n's other arm. "Let the man answer for himself." Alex says trying to tug Y/n closer to his side.

"No. He's busy and I bet he would feel a lot better without your comments." Dean tugs Y/n arm back to him like a game of tug & war. Sam stands in the middle looking at them awkwardly. "Well you don't know that. I mean cmon no need to get overprotective." Alex suggests trying to convince Dean to let them be.

"He doesn't need his pictures taken by a complete stranger and a weirdo." The two bicker back and forth pulling Y/n back and forth in the process making Y/n feel irritated and deeply annoyed.

"Stop acting like you're his boyfriend or something!" Alex shouts at Dean making Dean ten times more pissed than he already was. "Oh yeah! Guess what he is my fucking boyfriend!" Sam eyes widened looking at Dean is he serious. "That man you're trying to prey on is my boyfriend! For about five months!" With one last pull Dean finally wins Y/n over wrapping his arms protectively around his boyfriend. Dean leaves with Y/n leaving poor Sammy still in the bar.

As soon the two are out of the bar Dean pulls Y/n for a deep kiss wrapping his arms around Y/n tighter in a way like hes telling people Y/n is off limits. The two pull away and stare at each other lovingly in total silence until the silence is broken by Y/n. "I thought you were ready yet?" Y/n says nudging his head against Dean's."I wasn't until that asshole came along. I felt so mad and a bit worried." Dean slips out his confession out with a sigh.

"Sounds like you got jealous~" Y/n teases with a chuckle.

"Like hell I get jealous. It's just that no other asshole is gonna flirt with my boyfriend when i'm around."

"I like this side of you Dean."

"I like all the sides of you Y/n." Dean's joke was hella corny earning him to be pushed away by Y/n. "Yeah after that joke I may just go pick Alex."

"Don't you dare!?!"

THE END

#dean winchester x male reader #dean winchester #supernatural x male reader #supernatural #x male reader #male reader #superntural #the winchester brothers #the bear club

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sastiel-is-my-serotonin · 6 months

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(this is a repost)

So you know how a lot of people just ignore or brush past Dean's abusive actions? I believe a good portion of people who do that are just taking what they are seeing at face value. The only context they use is what is directly in front of them.

For example, Dean tricks Sam into 'real' bacon despite knowing Sam doesn't want to eat that type of bacon.

That you can see as a sibling prank, is it messed up? Yes, but you can forgive it very quickly at face value. Siblings get under each other's skin all the time, that's their dynamic, Dean's just pranking his little brother. Right?

However, when you add in more context, Dean often judges Sam on what he eats. He often will reduce it down to rabbit food and acts very annoyed having to see it even if it doesn't affect him. It's seen as a big gesture when Dean gets Sam food he genuinely likes. Not a big deal on its own, right? Just another Dean quirk, he doesn't like healthy food.

Well, going back to that particular scene, it's established, Dean is pretty in charge of the food, it's why Sam doesn't trust the bacon at first and was proved right. In different episodes and scenes, it's implied Dean is the one who basically runs the kitchen. So he runs the kitchen and the groceries. Interesting.

Again, at face value that doesn't seem like a big deal. However, this is not the only thing Dean gets a big say on in Sam's life.

What is Sam in control of then? Not only for himself but the two of them?

Sam isn't in charge of driving, that's Dean's thing. Did Sam ever drive? Yes, but there were always specific circumstances that led to it. Especially if Sam was driving Baby.

"But Dean's the car guy, so that makes sense." Okay, well, let's look at some more things Dean gets a say in.

Sam going out and who he contacts. Dean always knows, and if he doesn't, Sam is lectured about keeping secrets. "It's because of Ruby!" Is it? This didn't just occur after that, and it certainly didn't stop long after Ruby was gone.

Dean didn't make a big deal out of it before Ruby, it doesn't mean it wasn't a big deal though. Sam always shared that information beforehand, it was expected. And even years after Ruby was long gone, Sam's whereabouts had to be known at all times.

But let's say that's just Dean feeling betrayed and overprotective.

Well, what about Sam's autonomy and Dean getting the final say in it?

How many times did Dean bring Sam back to life without Sam's consent? Not to mention, he tricked Sam into permitting an angel to use his body as a vessel even when Sam was ready to die, it was Dean who was clinging onto him. Dean knew Sam would rather die than let an angel use him as a vessel. Yet, he still did it, and to fix his mistake, he had to let a demon into Sam's body.

When Sam asked to die, it was decided to keep him alive because Dean wasn't ready to let go. When Dean asked to die, Sam respected his wishes. More than once. And Dean didn't forgive him for that. (When Sam didn't search for Dean when they had both agreed to quit messing with the balance of life and death. To quit going searching for each other when they've passed.)

Or what about forcefully making Sam detox all at once, and pushing on even though it was a very real possibility of Sam dying. Because Dean would rather his brother be pure and dead rather than tainted and alive.

Now, what does this have to do with my first example, of Dean tricking Sam into eating bacon?

It doesn't seem like a big deal until you realize just how much control Dean has over Sam. From Sam's literal life to his food choices and many things in between. Dean gets a say in it, and more often than less, Dean's say is the final say.

But a lot of these examples are excused because they focus on the context surrounding that season, that episode, that scene. However, all of Dean's actions add up and the more context you add to his behavior the more you start to notice this pattern.

Context matters and so does depth.

#dean winchester critical #anti dean winchester #dean winchester #sam winchester #cw abuse

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angelsdean · 6 months

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sorry i'm still thinking meta-ly about deancassie's goodbye. like first there's what i said in the linked post. dean notably isn't the one driving in this scene. it's sam behind the wheel, steering them away. because leaving cassie again is painful. it's the last thing he wants to do. and dean is someone who struggles to do the leaving when it comes to the people he loves. at four years old he establishes this sort of idea about love and leaving. he tells mary as he comforts her after john left, "i love you too. and i'll never leave you." he sees how john leaving hurts mary and dean promises to never be the one who leaves. and while, later, his life circumstances often get in the way, he continues to struggle to do the leaving. and it hurts him deeply when he gets left.

so, this goodbye, he can't be in the driver's seat. he just can't do it. and then on the road, sam asks, "You meet someone like her, doesn't it makes you wonder if it's worth it? Putting everything else on hold, doing what we do?" and dean just smiles and pointedly does not answer. because we know what his answer would be. we know already, despite the facade he puts up, that dean doesn't really want to be doing this. he scoffs at the apple pie picket fence life in a "the lady doth protest too much" sort of way. we know he had his own dreams, desires. he wanted to go to college too. he wanted a normal life. so, if he could just put it all down? if he could stop hunting and not feel guilty about it and build a life with someone he loves, would he? yes, of course, yes. but he doesn't feel he has that choice. he still feels bound to this duty, this mission. so what's the point in answering that question when the answer won't change anything? instead he puts on his sunglasses and reclines back and tells sam to wake him up when it's his turn to drive. (because he still can't drive yet. they're still too close. he could easily turn the car around. he doesn't trust himself not to)

but, back to the other part of deancassie's goodbye that really gets me. it's dean's insistence that they will see each other again (even if we know this to be false, being the omniscient audience we are with the power to see into the future.) because dean has.....faith. dean got his crash course in faith in the previous episode and now, well, he's a bit of a believer in things that seem impossible. cassie says she's a "realist" and "doesn't see much hope" for them. but dean says he's seen stranger things. cassie says "goodbye" with an air of finality but dean responds with, "I'll see ya, Cassie....I will." determined and believing every word. because, again, dean can't bear to leave the people he loves. but if he must or if circumstances / other powers force them apart then he'll do everything he can to find his way back to them.

he is literally, literally the kind of person who does not say "goodbye" but "see you later." a fact that is made all the more heart-wrenching when you think about 15x18 too. "why does this sound like a goodbye" dean asks, his whole body filling with dread. "because it is." and dean pleading, "don't do this, cas." and then cas, like cassie, says "goodbye" with an air of finality. and what do we know about dean? well, he doesn't accept goodbyes. "I'll see ya....I will."

anyways dean's last goodbye with his first love and dean's last goodbye with his last love, two people that also share very similar names, is just. well. it sure does make me feel some kind of way.

#mymeta #vics spn rewatch #dean studies #spn 1x13 #spn 15x18 #parallels #deancassie #deancas

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no-where-new-hero · 9 months

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One thing that’s been lurking about in the back of my brain for a little while but has really kind of hit home as I read Woolf again and see all these L. M. Montgomery posts is how deep a feminist streak runs through Montgomery despite how little her work is talked about as such. And I think the locus of this female self-determination rests on her obsession with place. Woolf talks about the creative woman needing a room of her own, and Montgomery extends that to a house of her own. EVERY heroine has an almost pathological closeness or identification with either her childhood home (Green Gables, New Moon, and Silver Bush) or the home that represents adulthood and building an independent life (the Disappointed House and the Muskoka cottage). Nature and connection to the natural world obviously plays into these connections and contrasts with actual patriarchal ownership of these properties. In addition, despite how much of a “romantic” writer LMM seems, she also expressly links marriage to property ownership and personal empowerment through being mistress of a house. She mentions this everywhere (the condition of being an old maid always means dependency too but often on relatives and less sympathetic people) but I think of this particularly with Emily and Pat: Emily loves that Dean will let her live in the Disappointed House more than Dean himself, and that Emily will rescue it from disappointment is side by side on the page with her wedding to Teddy. Pat makes Silver Bush into her world and can only make a change in her life once the house is gone (the fact that her childhood lover comes back to her literally at the ruins of the burned house always stayed with me. It feels like a very obvious exchange of loves).

A last thing on the subject of feminism though is in Tangled Web, when Margaret Penhallow’s (most unusual for LMM but also in some ways the most on theme) choice of using her money is to buy a house and adopt a son. House-keeping and child-rearing are both traditional feminine tasks yet the fact that Margaret does them alone and independently shows LMM’s priorities and desires to shake off the natural connection between having a husband and being able to have a place of your own.

I’m almost 100% sure LMM and Virginia Woolf would never have read each other’s works and probably wouldn’t have liked them if they did, though considering they were contemporaries, I enjoyed teasing out similar resonances in how they describe the female condition of their time.

#lm montgomery #pat of silver bush #anne of green gables #emily of new moon #a tangled web #the blue castle #virginia woolf #a room of one’s own #immortal poets society #blake’s last braincell #lmm lockdown

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romeulusroy · 1 month

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Being Sam's Twin With Your Own Abilities Would Include: Part 2 (Part 1)

A/N: I just love this character 💕

Arguing with Sam in all your various languages

“Du bist so ein Arschloch!”

“Du bist derjenige, der sich wie ein Kind benimmt.”

“If you two are going to fight, do it in a language I can understand. I wanna know who I’m rooting for.”

The both of you are still getting used to your newfound abilities

As he promised, Sam wakes you when he has a nightmare so you can figure it out together

He hates it, to wake you, but he knows he'll get hell from you if he doesn't

You know Sam's afraid he's going to end up like the others

Constantly talking about that without Dean

He just gets mad and shuts it down. You understand he doesn't want to think about it, but it's becoming a more real possibility with every new encounter

"If we have to kill you, you can just be ghost and follow me around like mom and dad."

"That's not funny."

Though the ghosts still startle you, you’ve almost grown used to them

Unless they present as rotting or fatally wounded, you can’t tell the difference between the living and the dead

It gets you into a bit of trouble, though

"Y/n who are you talking to?"

"Oh. . . you don't see them?"

"Nope."

Some restless ones tug at you, pulling at you, until you have no choice but to follow. Others cry and scream, wailing for you to help them

Sometimes, that’s where you find their remains like a shallow grave or proper tombstone. They're not all victims, though they seem drawn to you. Some just died from illness or old age

Sometimes, they can even be helpful on hunts, pointing you in the right direction

Others, though, are angry. Hurt or scared or just plain restless, they’re out to seek revenge. Those ones, those ones are the ones that scare you

And it’s not just how they look. Innocent children are often the most dangerous, whereas the most decayed ghosts, the ones who died in the most gruesome way, simply want company

You can't tell the difference, though, and it would kill you to ignore someone asking for help just because you aren't sure if they're dead or alive

Both your brothers worry about that

Dean tells you to check with them, but you can't always ask him or Sam. It makes you feel stupid, childish even

You end up talking to the ghosts more than you do humans. You like learning about them. The ones that can or are willing to talk always have something important or interesting to say

A few have even warned you about the not so kind ghosts that are following you but haven’t shown themselves yet

You decide not to tell your brothers about those kinds until they really become a problem

Being careful not to let any other hunters know

“Who are they talking to?”

“Y/n? Oh y'know, the voices in their head.”

"Shut up, Dean."

It’s not long before Gordon overhears what you and Sam are capable of at Ellen's bar

Sam even has a dream about it

Insert imagine :)

He doesn’t tell you until it’s too late, though

It takes place in s2 e10

Sam insisted you stay with Dean, but you remain stubborn that you’re going to Indiana with him. Afraid to leave you, he agrees, under one condition: you don’t follow any ghost anywhere

Dean eventually finds you from the help of Ellen and ends up in Gordon’s trap

Ava warns Sammy about the trip wires, though, and Sammy is able to save Dean and stop Gordon

He made you wait outside, reminding you about the promise you made. He didn't see the "ghost" though, or rather he did, but she was blurry, running away from him rather than facing him. You saw her, though. A woman. She was begging you to help her, save her, that people were after her

You know you shouldn't, but you go with her anyways. It's too real. Her fear, her exhaustion. You're sure she's real, you're sure you're in the right believing her

By the time your brothers are outside and watching Gordon get arrested, Sam realizes you're gone

He curses you and himself, taking off before he has to explain to Dean. He follows behind him, struck by a sinking feeling

Just like in the dream, she is far ahead. You beg her to slow down, to stop, but she doesn't. You trip over a root and land hard on your hands and knees in a clearing

That's when they come out, a bunch of Gordon's buddies

"You, you needed my help." But you watch, horrified and saddened at the same time, that the woman morphs into someone you've never seen. They smile at you, the left half of their face torn away, pieces of their skin hanging off their jaw. Your heart sinks

One of the bad ones, like you'd been warned about. . .

You call out for your brothers, backing away slowly, your palms and knees bloody

You have a gun in your waistband, but you don't know how many bullets. You don't even want to kill them. They knew your dad, your family. If you shot them, there would be hoards of hunters coming back to string you up by your neck

Behind them appear your friends, the ghosts you got to know. The man with no eyes. The elderly couple. The little girl in the pink tutu. Others, too. People you didn't recognize. A man torn in half. A woman holding her own head. A woman in white. You realize, later, the woman holding her head, she had fangs. Those spirits, they must've been the creatures the hunters have killed. They were still connected to them, hurting and angry about their deaths

Even the ghost with half a face looks startled, the only one in the group able to realize they were surrounded

The elderly man, in his shaky voice, tells you to run

So, you do, as fast as you can

Behind you there are gunshots and screaming, but you don't look back

You end up running into Sam, knocking each other down, who immediately starts yelling at you. He thought you were dead. He thought the hunters got you. You can barely catch your breath, shaking hard

Finally, Dean asks you what happened, but you can't find the words

He leaves to check it out, but all he finds is scattered weapons and splatters of blood

They saved you. You try to explain it to your brothers, but they're more worked up about the ghost that tricked you rather than the ones that saved you

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Sammy-"

"Y/n."

"I don't know, I didn't want you freaking out like you are now!"

They put you on what they like to call "ghost arrest". No talking to or about them. Not until they figure out why that one changed form, why it was working with hunters, and why it wanted you dead

It just seems like more work. Besides, you have reputable sources you can ask, you remind them. They refuse

That takes a long time, though. They keep hitting walls and getting frustrated and none of you have that kind of time

So, you do what you want, like you always have, and sneak away. . .

#headcanon #series #sam winchester #sam winchester headcanon #dean winchester #dean winchester headcanon #supernatural #supernatural headcanon #ennasfavorites

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jenanigans1207 · 3 months

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“With Cas,” Sam presses on, but his voice has gone gentle, like he knows that he’s dangerously close to cracking every facade Dean has worked so hard to maintain for so many years. “You don’t have to do anything different. You don’t have to give anything up, you don’t have to change anything about yourself. He’s already seen what an asshole you are before coffee, and how goddamn messy you leave the bathroom,” That earns a surprised laugh out of Dean and he’s finally able to look up again. “Hell, Dean, the dude’s seen your literal soul. If he knows you that well and he’s stupid enough to stay by your side the way he has, that’s meant to be.”

Dean clears his throat, but it doesn’t do anything to make the lump that’s formed there go away. “Yeah, he’s pretty great.”

“He is.” Sam agrees. He pauses for a second, like he’s contemplating whether or not to say one more thing. Dean can see it in his gaze, the exact moment he decides to go for the kill. “And I can trust him to take care of you, you know? He’d do anything to protect you and keep you safe. He gave up the entire Heavenly Host for you, Dean.”

“For us,” Dean tries to correct, because if he doesn’t , he might actually lose the ability to speak completely.

“For you.” Sam corrects back. “I’m just part of your packaged deal. But if I hadn’t been here and it had been just you, he still would’ve done it.”

It’s not often that Dean allows himself to think of what Cas gave up— not because he doesn’t appreciate it or recognize the magnitude of it, but because it makes him feel completely and utterly inadequate. Because Cas gave up literally everything for him and he’s— he’s just some guy. For all that every God, Monster, and Demon seems to love the taste of his name on their tongue, he’s really not anything special. He’s just some guy who was too weak to sustain the never-ending torture of hell and instead gave in to the worst side of himself, turning himself into the kind of monster he would kill if he ever ran across it. He has trust issues, he has anger issues, he has— a whole hell of a lot more than that, to say the least. He’s not a good person, not an honest or honorable person.

He’s not the kind of person an Angel of the Lord should even look twice at, let alone the kind of person an Angel of the Lord should choose.

Cas could’ve had it all— every happiness heaven had to offer. He could’ve stayed in God’s good graces, in the good graces of the other angels. He could’ve had anything he wanted and instead he chose to sit in the backseat of the Impala, to watch over Dean and Sam while they sleep in every shitty motel the country has to offer. He chose to never eat a homecooked meal, to barely even have a place to call home. He chose what Dean would describe as the worst possible life and honestly? He doesn’t seem like he’s ever looked back.

And when Dean examines that too closely, he just feel like absolute shit. Because Cas deserves everything. He deserves every happiness he gave up, every opportunity he turned down. He deserves more than Dean can ever give him. And Dean often feels like a selfish asshole— dragging Sam back into the life because he didn’t want to be alone, selfishly trying to keep people close to him the they were better on their own— but he’s never felt like more of a selfish piece of shit than he does when he realizes that he’s glad Cas chose to stay down here with them— with him.

“Yeah, well,” Dean’s voice is rough, raw. He feels like he’s bleeding somewhere internally. “It wouldn’t be the right choice.”

“Choosing you is always the right choice, Dean.” Cas’ voice sounds from the doorway suddenly and both Dean and Sam whip their heads in that direction when they realize he’s there. “I understand that I have my work cut out for me in terms of making you realize that, but I will never regret choosing you.”

Dean clenches his jaw and looks away at the same time that Sam breaks out into a smile. It’s small, but it’s genuine and grateful, and Dean thinks that maybe he could just sock both of them in the face and this unbearably vulernable moment could finally pass.

“Cas,” Sam says after a second, “I’d say welcome to the family, but you’ve been part of the family for a long time already.”

God, every part of Dean aches. Everything inside of him feels like it’s bending and then snapping completely as Cas walks fully into the room and meets Sam for a hug, as they smile at each other. The two people who mean the most in the entire world to Dean, and they care about each other in a way Dean could only dream that they’d be able to. It’s absolutely unbearable, how happy he is. He’s so fucking happy that it hurts, a deep ache, a brittle and tender feeling. He doesn’t think his bones are strong enough to withstand it and he thinks that soon he may just fall apart completely.

“Your blessing still means a lot, Sam.” Cas is saying with a hand clapped on Sam’s shoulder. Neither of them are directly looking at Dean but he knows that they’re both paying attention to him anyway, their gazes fixed on him out of the corners of their eyes.

“Hey, I had no choice. I was stuck with him from birth. But he’s alright, all things considered.” Sam is joking and Dean thinks that maybe if he just starts screaming, it would do something to dull these emotions. “So if you’re dumb enough to choose him, well, I’m not going to say no to that.”

Cas shakes his head a little as he lets out a huff of a laugh. “I am.” Is all he says.

It’s such a simple answer, but it encompasses so much. It encompasses every fight they’ve had, every betrayal they’ve managed to pave over. It encompasses the taste of bad blood that stained the space between them so many times as much as it encompasses all the times Dean dropped to his knees and prayed— to Cas, to God, to whoever the hell would listen— begging for Cas’ safety, for his return, for the knowledge that he would always be there. It encompasses every time they’ve been the cause of each other’s wounds as much as it encompasses every time they’ve tenderly and carefully dressed the wounds caused by other people.

It’s only two words, but it says multitudes. Dean had done his part in confessing, in prying every last word out of the shadowed corners of his heart, even with the curse had lifted and the ability to lie has returned to him. And Cas had certainly returned the confession, though it seemed to physically pain him much less to do so. And despite that, hearing Cas claim him to Sam like that, openly and easily acknowledging everything they’ve done through with words that are meant to be a promise for the future— well, Dean really thinks he might be at the limit of all he can bear.

“But make sure you take care of him, alright?” Sam adds, more somber. Even though he’d already expressed his knowledge that Cas would, unfailingly. Even though Cad had, over and over again. But there’s something in the brotherly codebook that demands Sam verbalize it anyway. Dean knows because he would’ve done the same thing.

“I mean,” Cas pulls his expression back into something serious, too. One of his angel faces that gives away very little emotion. “Your brother is reckless, and self-sacrificing. He’s stubborn, too, and almost never listens to reason.”

“Alright, alright—“ Dean tries to interject.

But Cas keeps going, the corner of his lip quirked up, giving away his amusement and sarcasm while Sam laughs openly. “He shoots first and sometimes asks questions later, and I honestly am not yet certain if he knows what a vegetable is.” And then Cas turns his eyes to Dean and the other half of his mouth turns up, too, so he’s actually smiling, and his voice is much softer when he adds, “but I promise to try my best.”

Dean meets his gaze like he has so many times in the past, but it’s completely different now. He’s much better at reading and understanding the emotions in Cas’s eyes, in the lines of his expression. But he also doesn’t have to turn away as the warmth blooms on his chest. He’s allowed to feel that now, to embrace it— if he ever figures out how.

“You’ve got good points.” Sam claps Cas on the shoulder, back to full-blown amusement. “I should probably be wishing you good luck with him instead.”

Cas nods solemnly, “I will need it.”

#I will not explain myself #we will all just not acknowledge me writing destiel in the year of our lord 2024 #but this is for near the end of the fic I’m writing #and we all know I can’t keep shit to myself #so #surprise?#deancas #destiel #supernatural #spn

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scoobydoodean · 2 months

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the thing about emma vs amy is they’re literally not comparable at all really!! one HAS KILLED PEOPLE WITHOUT REMORSE (arguably, it’s been a while since i’ve seen the episode) and the other… HAS NOT! a comparison i have never seen people make that is actually so much better, so much more interesting? emma and that dude in metamorphosis, the rugaru. both are supposedly “monsters” who will inevitably kill somebody and thus deserve to be killed as a preemptive measure (even though they haven’t actually hurt anybody yet), as argued by sam about emma and dean/the other hunter about the rugaru. the difference? DEAN DECIDES TO TRUST SAM AND TRY TO HELP THE DUDE. sam on the other hand disregards dean’s wishes and any possibility of emma making the right choice.

i’m convinced that the only reason people compare emma and amy is because “dean admits he was wrong to kill her” (which isn’t actually what he says but people don’t really care about the exacts). if they were to look at any other episode where the definition of monster is argued, they’d see that sam is usually on the side of “give them a chance” (and ftr dean is too almost all of the time) UNLESS it’s a “monster” associated with dean… why are sam’s morals different for these people? for emma?

sorry i know that’s a long rant, but every time i see the emma vs amy debates it boggles me that metamorphosis dude is never brought up too! also i hope this all makes sense haha

Emma and Amy aren't even remotely comparable. In any way. Emma and Amy's son who Dean didn't kill? Yep. They are directly comparable. But Amy and Emma? Get outta here! Jack Montgomery (Metamorphosis) and Jack Kline (two Jack's!) can both be interesting Emma parallels. Especially when comparing how desperate fans are to coddle Jack Kline from so much as experiencing a negative emotion when he's brainwashing people from the womb, bursting out of his mom's body like something out of Alien, and actively strangling innocent black store clerks to death.

Contrary to the belief of people who don't watch the show but are always making wide-sweeping claims about what happens in it, Sam and Dean have a long history of trying to protect "good" monsters (including from other hunters!) from 2.03 "Bloodlust" and onwards (2.03, 2.17, 4.04, 5.06, 6.02, 8.04, 12.04, 12.16). There's a weird disk horse that's opened up in the last several years that Sam and Dean are always indiscriminately killing monsters who don't deserve it all of the time because "supernatural power bad" and that just isn't true. Like. Actually look at the cases they go on? Sam and Dean kill murderers whose crimes are committed supernaturally which is going to allow them to get away with it and/or continue doing it. They don't kill people just because they're "different"—in fact, the entirety of season 2 is about not killing people just because they're different, or because of some alleged inescapable dark destiny.

I've spoken before about how "Bloodlust" is treated by fandom as an episode where Sam stands on some sort of moral high ground from the beginning about the existence of good monsters, but that isn't what actually happens in the episode. Sam ends the episode with zero remorse about any previous hunts John ever took them on while Dean thinks back and wonders if they hurt people who didn't deserve it at some point (no questionable hunts in season 1 FYI—and the majority of them are ghost-related).

The way that Sam can compartmentalize/let go of his past actions and move on is useful in their field of work, but in contrast with Dean's tendency to feel eaten alive by guilt, it often results in fandom disk horse where fans follow Sam's lead by compartmentalizing and burying and excusing his actions as if they never happened, while putting everything Dean does under a microscope because his visible guilt implicates him in the eyes of fans. Because Dean spends several episodes feeling bad after 7.03, he must have done something super duper bad and horrible and is the worst person alive, and Amy didn't deserve to die. But because Sam doesn't ever show a single shred of remorse after 7.13 and Dean doesn't ever talk about it again, Sam must have been in the right. It's actually bizarre when you think about it—Sam's lack of guilt ought to be chilling to fans, but instead, it's often used to absolve him of wrongdoing... and for all their flaws that everyone is always harping on, I do think Bucklemming intended Sam's actions and his attitude after to be chilling. They don't intend him to be seen as "in the right".

Dean buries what happens with Emma down deep, and it's obvious why. He can't take another hit like this in season 7. Not after Cas and Bobby. He buries it deep down like he buried Lisa and Ben deep down. In addition... if Dean wanted to bring Emma up, who the actual fuck would or could he have talked to about her? Bobby's dead. Cas is dead. The only person left in Dean's life is the person who killed his daughter, and Sam made it very clear that he didn't give a shit how Dean felt about her being dead. In fact, he lectured Dean for hesitating to kill his own biological child, and said she "wasn't really his". Then when Dean disputed that claim, Sam immediately called him crazy and acted like Dean's actions (trying to push a monster kid who hasn't hurt anyone off a terrible path) are out of character when they ARE NOT (2.03, ALL OF SEASON 2, 4.04, 5.06). Even 7.03 itself supports Dean's actions with Emma as in character, because the ACTUAL Emma analogue, Amy's son, is not killed by Dean. So yeah. Who the FUCK was Dean going to talk with this about? Given Sam's long and storied history of behaving as the thought police, if Dean had so much as looked too sad in his presence, Sam would have lit into him all over again, and what fucking good was that going to do?

And yeah teehee Sam doesn't want Dean to have too many friends. More than one often-dead close friend is too many.

#mail #emma #amy #7.13 #7.03 #season 7

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