When asked why I got top surgery:

I have an extensive graphic tee collection and boobs really fuck up the design

I wanted to be a more aerodynamic swimmer

The anime style ‘boing’ sound effect from my tits kept alerting the guards and it was really cutting into my revenue as a jewel thief

Lost them in the war

Pat down my chest then franticly check my pockets and bag. ‘I most have left them at home’

They would bounce at a speed of 379 mph and the sound was getting noise complaints

Commitment to cosplay

Rehomed them for a small fee, just couldn’t take care of them anymore

Wym I never had tits?????

They turned evil and I had to cut them off like Ash (from the evil dead) had to cut his hand off

They just refused to pay rent so I had to have the city evict them

Sold them for computer parts

The vibe was off with them

It’s pointing straight out by the way. Gonna have to get a cup for this thang at this point.

woe Shockwave be lovin upon ye

Happy Valentine’s Day

I've always been curious to know this about the people around me. Most people have been in severe pain, but in my experience few have had what they would say is their 10/10 experience. I guess it's just something I find fascinating, as I had my 10/10 experience quite young and I sometimes forget that not everyone has. In my opinion it changes your relationship with pain and how you engage with it afterwards. If you answered yes, feel free to elaborate on your circumstances in the tags!

(reblog for a bigger sample size etc)

vial of stars

i want y’all to know i got my top surgery at ~270 pounds and it looks fucking fine like you are not too fat to get top surgery and have it be flat and nice and feel better

nightmares

Even though it's been months since I switched from neurosurgery to internal medicine, I still have a hard time not being angry about the training culture and particularly the sexism of neurosurgery. It wasn't the whole reason I switched, but truthfully it was a significant part of my decision.

I quickly got worn out by constantly being questioned over my family plans. Within minutes of meeting me, attendings and residents felt comfortable lecturing me on the difficulties of having children as a neurosurgeon. One attending even suggested I should ask my co-residents' permission before getting pregnant so as not to inconvenience them. I do not have children and have never indicated if I plan to have any. Truthfully, I do want children, but I would absolutely have foregone that to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than anything. But I was never asked: it was simply assumed that I would want to be a mother first. Purely because I'm a woman, my ambitions were constantly undermined, assumed to be lesser than those of my male peers. Women must want families, therefore women must be less committed. It was inconceivable that I might put my career first. It was impossible to disprove this assumption: what could I have done to demonstrate my commitment more than what I had already done by leading the interest group, taking a research year, doing a sub-I? My interest in neurosurgery would never be viewed the same way my male peers' was, no matter what I did. I would never be viewed as a neurosurgeon in the same way my male peers would be, because I, first and foremost, would be a mother. It turns out women don't even need to have children to be a mother: it is what you essentially are. You can't be allowed to pursue things that might interfere with your potential motherhood.

Furthermore, you are not trusted to know your own ambitions or what might interfere with your motherhood. I am an adult woman who has gone to medical school: I am well aware of what is required in reproduction, pregnancy, and residency, as much as one can be without experiencing it firsthand. And yet, it was always assumed that I had somehow shown up to a neurosurgery sub-I totally ignorant of the demands of the career and of pregnancy. I needed to be enlightened: always by men, often by childless men. Apparently, it was implausible that I could evaluate the situation on my own and come to a decision. I also couldn't be trusted to know what I wanted: if I said I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than a mother, I was immediately reassured I could still have a family (an interesting flip from the dire warnings issued not five minutes earlier in the conversation). People could not understand my point, which was that I didn't care. I couldn't mean that, because women are fundamentally mothers. I needed to be guided back to my true role.

Because everyone was so confident in their sexist assumptions that I was less committed, I was not offered the same training, guidance, or opportunities as the men. I didn't have projects thrown my way, I didn't get check-ins or advice on my application process, I didn't get opportunities in the OR that my male peers got, I didn't get taught. I once went two whole days on my sub-I without anyone saying a word to me. I would come to work, avoid the senior resident I was warned hated trainees, figure out which OR to go to on my own, scrub in, watch a surgery in complete silence without even the opportunity to cut a knot, then move to the next surgery. How could I possibly become a surgeon in that environment? And this is all to say nothing of the rape jokes, the advice that the best way for a woman to match is to be as hot as possible, listening to my attending advise the male med students on how to get laid, etc.

At a certain point, it became clear it would be incredibly difficult for me to become a neurosurgeon. I wouldn't get research or leadership opportunities, I wouldn't get teaching or feedback, I wouldn't get mentorship, and I wouldn't get respect. I would have to fight tooth and nail for every single piece of my training, and the prospect was just exhausting. Especially when I also really enjoyed internal medicine, where absolutely none of this was happening and I even had attendings telling me I would be good at it (something that didn't happen in neurosurgery until I quit).

I've been told I should get over this, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop being mad about how thoroughly sidelined I was for being female. I don't know how to stop being bitter that my intelligence, commitment, and work ethic meant so much less because I'm a woman. I know I made the right decision to switch to internal medicine, and it probably would have been the right decision even if there weren't all these issues with the culture of neurosurgery, but I'm still so angry about how it happened.

Just crossed the bay bridge going back home. I’m not in pain but it does feel uncomfortable. The surgery took about 2ish hours and my team was really nice! My pre-op experience was delightful.

My post-op experience on the other hand left things to be desired. They were understaffed so my nurse would only check on me if I called out to him (but my throat feels weird from the tube and I’m still groggy from the sedation so that was. Difficult to say the least). I had to pee so bad and the first time I was escorted to the bathroom I didn’t get anything out and I was so frustrated I almost broke down in tears! Fortunately a few attempts later (and multiple gauze changes, because it’s not really anchored to anything, just wrapped around my penis) I was able to pee. That’s the only thing really they judge you on for being fit to be discharged. I didn’t get any notes or papers on at home care…. They just verbally relayed the information to ME (the drugged out of their mind patient). From what I recall (lol) it’s mostly just keep the dressing dry by changing it frequently, nothing lifted more than 5 lbs for 4 weeks, no sex, no baths. Hoping they sent me the documents through the app.

edit: the discharge paperwork was in the bag 🤦‍♂️ but still they didn’t relay anything to my caretaker which I feel was. not great.

Misty 💛

Kofi ♡ Inprnt

DONATE THROUGH PAYPAL

DONATE THROUGH VENMO

Safebow, led by raindovemodel over on instagram, is a grassroots team currently doing their best to evacuate almost 200 Palestinian individuals from Gaza.

To do this, they had to raise over $300,000 in a very short amount of time. Amazingly, they not only raised that amount, but surpassed it to the point that they'll now be able to buy prosthetics for the hospitals they work with.

However, Gofundme has thrown a spanner into the work by going completely silent and holding up over half of their funds.

They are on a time crunch as they desperately try to recoup their money before the border closes. Please donate to their Paypal, Venmo or Zelle. Their window of success is genuinely a matter of days.

I haven’t drawn these guys in forever??

Here’s my part for the mp100 secret spirit! For @elo-h

I combined the prompts “spirits and such having a day at the office” and “the kids hanging out.” It was so much fun to draw

Thank you for hosting this, @mp100secretspirit

ahahahah whoops my hand slipped :3 ahhahahaha ow