#currently feeling that way about kanata
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#mica rambles#yknow how sometimes you can tell youre about to get really obsessed with something and its going to consume you for the next weeks to come?#currently feeling that way about kanata#i knew from DAY ONE that this was coming. he literally checks all the boxes for me to be unhinged about him#(silly guy with fucked up backstory. isolation. the Sea. disconnection from his humanity. weird relationship with god)#and the only reason ive managed to avoid it til now is bc ryuuseitai went completely over my head when i first started playing the game#could not have been less interested about them#but now that im more invested in the story and every unit.. dear gods help me for whats to come#i really hope im going to be wrong about this i cant afford to produce someone else oTL knights already drain my savings enough PLS
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Rejected
Male Yandere! x GN!Reader (This is a remake but feel free to read the original one)
Warnings: Use of profanity, implied murder, possible manipulation, mentions of depression, mentions of sui
“I’m sorry but I don’t like you in that way”
“What..?”
“Sigh..I like you, but only as a friend. I don’t like like you”
“Oh! Not that there’s anything I don’t like about you. I’m just not looking for a relationship right now”
“No, no, it’s alright..Yeah..Friends..Let’s just, remain friends, yeah?”
“Are you sure? You aren’t just saying that to make things less awkward, right?”
“Mhm..I didn’t expect you to say yes anyways hahah. You’ve always been quite open about what you currently want and don’t want after all.”
“I just wanted to get it out of my chest y’know? It’s been bothering me” He chuckles awkwardly
“So..We’re cool?” You say awkwardly
“Yeah..Cool..”
“Ahah..Nice..?” You say in an almost questioning tone
RINGGGGG
“Oh..Wow, the uhm bell rang. Well then, see you around. Bye byeee” You then quickly turn around and hurriedly leave
‘Gosh, that whole interaction was so awkward and tense! Remind me to never accept secret rooftop meetings ever again!’
“…”
‘It’s only been a month since you rejected me.’
‘You said you didn’t want a relationship. Yet, why are you getting so close to him? Him, of all people’
Your laughter echoes through the hallways, breaking him out of his train of thought
“I can’t take this anymore..”
Quickly, he marches over to you, grabs your hand, and pulls you away outside in the courtyard
“Kanata. Let go of me!”
Surprised by your voice he lets go
“That hurt, why’d you do that?” You glare, demanding an answer
“I— I’m sorry, it’s just..Him..I’ve warned you so so many times to not get close to him.”
“He’s a bad person”
“You need to stay away from him. Now.”
Irritated, you reply, “Look, no one has the right to judge and dictate who I should or shouldn’t hang out with”
“Especially you, yes, you Kanata”
“What? Me? And why the hell is that huh?”
He’s clearly starting to get agitated but that won’t stop you from saying what you’ve been wanting to
“Hah! Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”
“I know how you’ve been bullying him behind everyone’s back! Behind my back!”
“He was never a bad person! It was you all along! You’re the bully, not him!”
“What the heck are you even talking about right now y/n?!? Me? Bullying that guy? Are you out of your mind?? Have you finally lost it? Huh?!”
“You know me better than I do y/n! Since when was I ever the type to bully someone?!!”
“ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT Y/N L/N??!! I MEAN, I KNEW YOU ALWAYS WERE BUT I DIDN’T THINK YOU WERE THIS MUCH OF AN IDIOT”
…….
He hated this situation
He hated all of it
He hated how you were accusing him
He hated how he’d accidentally raised his voice
He hated how he let his temper get the best of him again
But, he can’t take back and rephrase those words now
…….
“..An idiot..? Wow, is that what you’ve thought me all along? Huh?”
“To think that I..To think that I even ever thought of you as a friend”
“IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY THINK OF ME?!”
“N-No, I—” “I BET YOU ALSO TALK BAD ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK, DON’T YOU? I BET..I BET THAT ALL THIS TIME YOU’VE THOUGHT THAT I WAS A NUISANCE AND THAT I WASN’T WORTH YOUR TIME”
“What?! NO. Y/N, where the heck is all this coming from? I never even said anything like that”
“But I bet I really was a nuisance, wasn’t I?”
“Everyone..Everyone always ends up leaving me..I thought you were different. But I can see that you aren’t any different from them” You stare at him and walk off
….
You didn’t know why you said all that
Why did you say it?
Those words aren’t even close to what you were thinking
Everything was so off. This wasn’t how you guys fought. You’ve always talked things out..But why did it end like that?
Why?
Whywhywhywhywhy
….
It’s been a few days since that fight you had with your now ex best friend
Come to think of it, you haven’t seen him around for a while now..
Oh well, it was none of your business. You probably just missed each other, the building is huge after all
On the other hand,
You’ve gotten a lot closer to Angel
Well, Angel isn’t his name but it’s what everyone calls him. A bit weird to call a guy that but it’s nice, he fits the description of an angel after all
Huh, you’ve never actually found out his real name now that you thought of it..He introduced himself as Angel when you guys met and guess you just never had the opportunity to ask him for his real name..
After a few days of still not seeing your ex best friend, you decided to pay his class a visit before classes start and hopefully make up
You’ve been friends for almost all your life. No matter what you try to think your heart just can’t let this friendship that lasted for a decade to end in that way
You peek through the open door and look around
One of the people there, notice you and come up
“Is there something you need?”
“Oh! Uh, no, not really. Just wondering if Kanata came to school today..We recently had a fight and I want to make things right again..Ahah..”
‘Someone end me..I DIDN’T MEAN TO BASICALLY VENT TO SOME RANDOM PERSON’
Upon hearing what you had to say, the girl looked almost hesitant to say what she’s about to say next
“I..I’m sorry, you mustn’t have heard but, Kanata’s dead”
“Sorry? What?”
“He’s dead. He was going through depression and well..You know, he..Couldn’t take it anymore. I’m very sorry for your loss”
“Oh..Yeah..Uhm..T-thank you for letting me know”
You had been on autopilot throughout the entire day
The bell rang, classes started and ended
And right now, you find yourself crying, hugging, and confiding in Angel, your new best friend
How did you end up in his house? You don’t remember. Everything is foggy, blurry, all you know is that his touch is comforting, his hand brushing through your hair, whispering comforting words
Promising that he won’t leave you like the others
He’s different
He promised not to leave you
“I won’t ever leave you alone”
You wake up from your sleep
“What an odd dream..”
It wasn’t a dream, it was a nightmare
“I should probably get ready now lest I be late for that date!”
Wake up. Wake up to the real world
Ding dong~
“Oh? That must be him!”
You hurriedly rush to the front door and open it
Upon opening the door you immediately get engulfed in a hug
“Morning babe”
You chuckle, “Good morning! You’re here early, hold on. I just woke up, lemme get ready first then we can head out, yeah?”
“Yeah. Go ahead and get ready, I’ll be here”
Run
Wake up
This isn’t real
Kanata didn’t end himself
He was a happy man. He never had depression
“Angel”, or rather, Rei, killed him
You know this. Don’t delude yourself
WAKE UP
“I’m ready! Well?”
“You look absolutely amazing love, now then, shall we go?” He offers his hand
“Amazing just for you! And yes, we shall my good sir” You hold his hand and start to walk side by side
“Geez..That’s sweet but don’t say that ever again. That was cringe” He says in a lighthearted teasing tone
You giggle, “I know, I know, but you still love me despite me being cringe at times”
“Well, you’re right about that”
“How could I ever not love you? You’re the most wonderful person on earth”
Ah..
I see..
It’s too late..
His grasp is too strong
You’ll never break free
I’ll(we’ll) never break free
#BRO IM CRINGING SO SO BAD#WHAT IS THIS?????#THIS IS SO BAD#SO CRINGE#DID I REALLY WRITE THIS WHOLE THING?? AINT NO WAY MAN#🌊elyria#x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere imagines#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere x reader#tw yandere#yandere male#male yandere#yandere#gn!y/n#gn!reader#gn reader#gender neutral y/n#gender neutral reader#gender neutral mc#gender neutral fanfic#gender neutral insert#yandere x gn reader#yandere x gender neutral reader
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shinkai kanata with a crush
✧ requested
✧ fluff, gn!reader
✧ wc; 618 words
It takes quite a while before Kanata realizes he has a crush on you. Love is something that’s new to him, something that he doesn’t really quite know. He may have read the definition of love and heard it in context from his fellow idols, but there’s little he knows about what it’s like to feel in love. With the help of the rest of Ryusetai, who have heard more thoughts than they ever wished to hear about you, there eventually comes a time where Kanata connects the two words he’s been thinking about recently: love, and your name.
If there’s one thing they need a break from hearing other than Chiaki’s enthusiastic yells, it has to be your name- and things that are so obviously related to you. They have become experts, at this point, in recognizing if something Kanata says has to do with you. There’s a certain pattern, a certain diction he uses specifically about you. It’s lovestruck, it’s as if he’s seeing the world differently.
If someone asked for any statement about you, each of them could come up with something different easily. Even if they hadn’t met you, what Kanata says would be enough for them to feel like they know you well. They’ve heard what you did today that Kanata thought was cute (which is everything), they’ve heard what you did with him, they’ve heard all of the interesting things about you (basically all about you). They’re not just hearing about a love-struck Ryusei Blue, but they’re hearing about someone he adores, random statements of love he doesn’t even realize as they slip out from his lips.
Now, how did Kanata discover that love was love? When he realized that love wasn’t just a word that someone used to describe actions but rather to describe emotions? That the word “love” was describing something within, not something from the outside? It was a gradual, slow process. It was natural; a discovery which did not originate from a bang but rather the eventual process of nature. There was a time where the word “love” just felt right, that it was just the right word for what he was feeling. As time passed, he went from “Is this love?” to “Mhm, my love forever”, as it just felt more and more right. It was not that the dictionary definition made more sense; it was that he had realized the definition for himself: you.
For Kanata, love is a state of bliss. It was a state of comfort brought by you, unlike anyone before. A smile forms on his lips, giggles escaping those very lips as you stay right by him. He feels light as air, as if he’s floating in the happy current of the sea. There’s waves that bring him up and back down again, but his hand is intertwined with yours, and simply sharing that happiness together multiplies the joy. He can see forever with you, an endless sea of time, your hand in his.
Kanata always has a smile on his expression when he’s around you, and giggles escape from his lips as he converses with you. He always looks happy, a little excited, to see you, and if you let him, he’d love to give you lots and lots of hugs~ He doesn’t quite understand, but he loves the way you feel in his arms. He seems to ignore other people- just a little bit- when he’s with you; he isn’t doing it on purpose though- he just has only you on his mind. And of course, when you take his hand, a smile and a giggle appear. Oh, how he’s ever so lucky for you to be right beside him.
If you liked this post, please reblog it! Every reblog helps support me and other creators on this site. Thank you!
#enstars#ensemble stars#shinkai kanata#kanata shinkai#ryusetai#enstars x reader#ensemble stars x reader#shinkai kanata x reader#kanata shinkai x reader#ryusetai x reader
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i think its about time i did one.. so.. [pinned]
— 𓄷 as you know, i go by es, he / they + 16. trans demi-boy! this is a milgram only (main)blog. UTC +8:00. i take doodles and writing requests, and random stuff, request rules will be added when made! ꒱
៹ ៸៸ basic — a really big es lover, i write and i also do art here while the rest of my posts are usually random rambles. i usually prefer people reaching out first than i do.
* if you want to be moots, do let me know! i dont bite at all, im actually looking for moots but idk how to. haha..-? if you need tone tags, please let me know!
disclaimer — i tend to talk/interact a lot, suspected auadhd but currently undiagnosed! also usually not caught up with trending or new stuff/drama, so if i am missing out do let me know if needed. much appreciated actually!
* despite being on tumblr for months; im still new to it. amazing right/s, so apologies if i do something wrong, do correct me please.
if i do make you uncomfy or offended in any way, please let me know immediately as well. i either reply to notifs fast or i dont, no inbetween. maybe there is tho. ꒱
៹ ៸៸ dni — basic dni, israel supporters, irls unless i permit you to interact, inappropriate mlgrm ships. nsfw (jokes r okay), pro/comship etc. i can also block freely if i want to, rarely happens tho.
* i dont mind anyone at any age interacting, so long youre respectful of my boundaries. just dont be a weirdo. ꒱
៹ ៸៸ fandoms — mainly milgram, paralive, aopl & much more which i forgot … but you can ask ! ꒱
៹ ៸៸ favs — es, muu & the whole cast right behind, nayuta & kanata yatonokami / cozmez, hajun yeon, honami osato, vadlip, hajime suzumiya ꒱
៹ ៸៸ funfacts — i love rambling & rping, i have 7 gmails for no reason.. i also have a MINIgram writing series planned! i love cream puffs and my phone’s battery is broken. i dont like donuts. ꒱
៹ ៸៸ tags :
#es talks — random rambles/talks
#es’ reblogs — my reblogs
#es’ art journal — my drawings/artworks
#es’ writing journal — all my works
#es’ [genre] journal — works w that genre!
#es’ asks — my asks
#es’ fav — personal fav things i love!
#es’ notebook — tagged to keep track of things.
* new tags
#es in his misery hole — vent tag, please filter.
#es’ moot battle — battle of his moots! who wins?
#mikoto’s workshift — mini mikopost interaction!
#new year phonegram — tsumi’s new years gartic! ꒱
៹ ៸៸ if you want to dm me about anything literally, feel free to do so; but please ask first! thanks.
with that, youve reached the end of this intro post, thank you for reading! hope you know me at least a little bit more now. ꒱
៹ ៸៸ last updated — 1 jan, happy new year. ꒱
#es’ intro#shoutout to fimi and bukit for being my besties..#IF YOURE INTO PARALIVE AND AOPL PLS IMMED INTERACT WITH ME#my friend called me an es wannabe and i cant stop thinkimg about it#bashes head against wall#IS IT CAUSE I SOUND LIKE ONE…-????
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Your Yorishiro - Trouble talking 6
Writer: Kanata Haruka
Season: Winter
(Location: Simple Studio)
(A few days later. On the day of the TV show recording.)
Nagisa: “…… Good evening to everyone in front of the TV. This TV program is a program where two currently active idols will talk and give advice on the viewers’ concerns.
…… This time, the ones acting as MC’s for this program will be me, Eden’s Ran Nagisa and—”
Adonis: “Otogari Adonis from UNDEAD. I’ll be counting on your best regards.
Without further delay, let’s read the first viewer's concerns right away.”
Nagisa: “…… Fufu, it really is sudden. In variety shows, we usually have a narration part before that. Is this okay?”
Adonis: “I’m sorry. I might have been too hasty.”
Nagisa: “…… No, don’t worry about it. We’ve really accumulated a lot of concerns here after all.
…… Once again; to everyone in front of the television, thank you for thinking of asking us for advice.”
Adonis: “Even though we were surprised at the amount of letters we received, we’ve looked over everything.
We wanted to respond to the feelings in each and every one of the letters we have received with all our ability since every single one was especially sent to us
Due to the time constraints of the TV show itself, we’re sorry that we couldn’t respond to every concern.
And that is why we want to discuss the concerns we’ve picked out seriously. We don’t know if we could resolve these issues or not, but we would be happy if it could be of help. ”
Nagisa: “…… Now then once again, let’s spare no time in reading the first one.
…… Due to circumstances on my parents’ side, I had to move away from the town I’ve been living in up till around fall of last year.
…… Even though I’ve transferred to a new high school, I still can’t make any friends.
…… I think it’s because while there was someone who tried to talk to me, I could only respond awkwardly to them.
…… How do I become better at conversations?
…… It seems like a problem with not being able to talk to people well.”
Adonis: “When we found out about this concern, we both worried over whether we would be able to solve this issue properly or not.”
Nagisa: “…… That’s right. The truth is, the both of us here are not good at conversations either. I wonder if that’s surprising?”
Adonis: “Even when it was decided that we were going to appear in this show, we were worried if we could be proper MC’s for the show.
This TV program just started, but I wonder if we’re doing well as MC’s?”
Nagisa: “…… Fufu. Adonis-kun, that sounds like we’re the ones asking for advice. Right now, we’re supposed to be addressing the viewers’ concerns.”
Adonis: “My apologies. This conversation unintentionally ended up being about us.
Still, moving away, huh? Being in a new place makes you anxious. I understand that well.”
Nagsia: “…… Come to think about it, Adonis-kun also came to Japan from overseas, right?”
Adonis: “The change in my surroundings to an unfamiliar one was disheartening.
There was also the part where I was worried about my Japanese. I wasn’t quite able to fit in.
That is why I’m very grateful to everyone in UNDEAD who has steadily accepted me and listened to me.
It’ll be nice if the person who sent in this concern has people like that around them too.”
Nagisa: “…… I agree. But it’s pretty difficult to take that first step if you’re not good at conversations.
…… I can glean from reading the letter that even though the person who wrote it is not good at talking, they really want to.
…… Could the truth be that they’re just not a very chatty person? Because the letter can convey their feelings to us without any problems.”
Adonis: “It’s as you’ve said. It doesn’t have the impression of someone unable to make conversation.”
Nagisa: “…… That’s why I think there is no other way but to muster up courage to speak up, even if it sounds a little harsh on my end.
…… Your letter also mentioned that there is someone there who is trying to talk to you.
…… Try to change your perspective. Maybe the person who tried to talk to you also had to muster up their whole courage to try to talk to you.
…… If you think about it that way, that person must sound like a very gentle person, doesn’t it?”
Adonis: “That’s right. Even if there is someone there to offer their hand to you, you yourself must have the courage to take it.
”It might be scary, but how about you try to be the one to start up a conversation next time?” is a way.
I believe that if that person is a kind person, they will definitely take your hand in response.”
Nagisa: “…… We’ll be cheering you on too. If it doesn’t work, please come back and send us another letter.
…… Since we share the same problem in not being good at conversations, we’ll talk with you as many times as you need. ”
(Location: Starmony Dorms Common Room)
(A few days after recording. At Starmony Dorms.)
Hiyori: I finally get time to relax with Nagisa-kun♪
Come on, Nagisa-kun, you can talk to me to your heart’s content♪ First, we could have lunch……
Adonis: Ran-senpai, here you are. I’ve been looking for you.
Hiyori: Seriously! What are you doing interrupting my chat with Nagisa-kun, Adonis-kun?
Adonis: Mm? If I’m interrupting, I apologise. It’s just that I have something I want to tell Ran-senpai right now.
Nagisa: …… You want to tell me something? What could it be?
Adonis: A few days ago, the TV program for consultation of concerns recording that Ran-senpai and I were in together was broadcasted.
That program got great ratings and we’ve received a fan letter for it.
I’ve received it from Anzu this morning, and wanted to show it to you too, Ran-senpai.
Nagisa: …… Is that so? Did you read it first, Adonis-kun?
Adonis: I’m sorry. I meant for us to read it together, but I got curious.
Nagisa: …… It’s okay, you don’t have to apologise. I would have read it too, if I was in your position.
…… Oh? Could the sender of this letter be?
Adonis: It’s from the little one who was worried about not being able to make any friends.
Watching the TV program gave them courage. And then, they were able to make a friend properly.
Nagisa: …… Watching us talk eagerly about it gave them the courage, I see.
Adonis: I’m really happy to think that even someone like me can be helpful to someone.
Nagisa: …… Mm. I feel happy that we too had the courage to answer those concerns.
Hiyori: Yes yes. As expected of Nagisa-kun. I’m proud of you too♪
Nagisa: …… The truth is, I was a little self-conscious of how Hiyori-kun would respond.
Hiyori: Nn? What do you mean by me?
Nagisa: …… Because the first person to be offered this TV program was Hiyori-kun.
…… So I was conscious of the image of Hiyori-kun, who had taught me a lot of things.
…… I don’t think I was able to do everything well, but did I fulfill my duty as your substitute, Hiyori-kun?
Hiyori: Of course you did it perfectly! That fan letter is proof of that!
Adonis: Tomoe-senpai’s substitute, huh? I wonder if I was able to be a worthy replacement for Hakaze-senpai too……
Nagisa: …… That, too, is eloquently conveyed in this fan-letter isn’t it?
Adonis: …… That’s true. Even though they said they were bad at conversation, it’s enough to make me suspect that they were actually good at it.
I’m glad I took on this job. I think I gained a little confidence for talk shows.
I’ve been obliged to you too, Ran-senpai. Thank you.
Nagisa: …… Adonis-kun helped me out a lot too. Thank you.
…… By the way, are you hungry?
Adonis: Mm? Now that you mention it, it’s almost lunch time.
Nagisa: …… If you’d like, how about eating lunch with us?
Adonis: I’m off work in the afternoon so I don’t mind, but is Tomoe-senpai okay with this?
Hiyori: Because it’s proposed by Nagisa-kun and nobody else, I have no complaints either.
Besides, we need to reward the two of you who worked hard! We have to do a proper wrap party!
Adonis: A wrap party, huh. Come to think of it, we haven’t done one yet.
Nagisa: …… That’s because I didn’t get much of a chance to meet Adonis-kun after the recording ended.
…… Since it’s been a while, I want to have a chat with you.
Adonis: Coincidentally, I was just thinking the same thing.
Nagisa: ……Fufu, in that case, we’ll all enjoy chatting together to our heart’s content today ♪. We have lots of time, after all.
Previous | Directory
#ensemble stars#enstars#enstars translation#nagisa ran#hiyori tomoe#adonis otogari#era: !!#type: scout
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Paradox Live The Animation Episode 11 Review - Illusions
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON??? HOLY HECK???? My mind is blown right now. This was an intense episode of Paradox Live. I can’t believe all that happened. Hold on, I need time to process everything.
Okay, so I’ve been theorizing who Shura and the Ramen Guy where since they look like the same person. I had theorized Shura, the one on stage was an illusion and Mr. Ramen dude was the real deal and I got it right. It turns out that Yasha is also an illusion; Buraikan, in general, look how they did ten years ago. I do wonder what their purpose is. Having Buraikan show up as how they did ten years ago was definitely a set up for the four current groups to compete with each other. What is their goal? To destroy everyone? To harvest their phantometals and create illusions out of them? Is the villain’s plan to make illusions out of everyone equivalent of cloning?
Mr. Ramen Guy is alone and the real Yasha is nowhere to be seen. I’m assuming he’s trying to instill revenge onto Alter Trigger by messing with the Paradox Live finale? Judging from the opening narration intro, the real Yasha died ten years ago due to phantometal overusage—and it happened on stage too. Is the real Shura going to be the surprise hero of this bad scenario right now?
Regarding cozmez, I did theorize a lot of things about Nayuta back in episode 7. One of them was speculating Nayuta being a phantometal illusion Kanata created after witnessing and knowing he had died. Guess what happened in this episode? That theory came true. Damn, so Kanata basically rapped with an imaginary version of his brother all this time. No wonder he seemed so robotic and out of it at times. It also makes sense why the current Nayuta didn’t recognize Shiki because he was an illusion; Kanata didn’t know about Shiki, so the Nayuta that was wandering about was formed from what he believed to be his brother.
Poor Kanata. Poor, poor Kanata. He needs a hug, badly. His trap reaction is remembering his brother’s death which is so traumatic that it’s causing him to go berserk with the corrosion. Stop being mean to Kanata! The boy already went through a lot; stop adding more trauma on to his resume. It hurts when your favorite character is going through trauma. Though, I do feel as if Buraikan was targeting Kanata specifically, or was it just coincidence since he won the extra stage by default?
What is up with Ryu, though? He looks possessed, muttering about how Buraikan and Nayuta were ghosts and such. He does have this weird split personality that occurs occasionally. Maybe that is the reason why he’s acting weird. Given he’s the only one who cannot experience trap reactions, I do wonder if he will play a factor into solving this situation—if he’s willing to, that is.
The BAE scenes were nice. Seeing Hajun cheering up Allen was so sweet. I really liked Hajun’s reaction too; he was all like “Your music kills people? Yeah, it’s true. It happened to me once.” His bluntness is charming in a way. I have a huge soft spot for scenes where someone shields someone from the rain with an umbrella. The scene where Allen was singing in English felt super romantic too. Oh, speaking of which, I was always amazed with Allen’s English pronunciation and I recently learned that his voice actor Gakuto Kajiwara had lived in Singapore in the past, hence his surprisingly good English skills; here’s a video I found on Twitter that has him speaking English. Since Allen wanted Hajun to open up before, Hajun was returning the favor and he did it two times better. Given that BAE was at Razzle Dazzle and not Paradox Live, I do feel as if they will be the key to saving the day. I hope they team up with Mr. Ramen Guy.
Since next episode is the finale, what will happen? I expect the biggest, super special awesome rap showdown between the fake Buraikan and BAE. This is a rapping show, after all; rapping is always the solution here. I’m so nervous about what’s going to happen to Kanata. Let him be happy, please. What are your thoughts on this episode?
#paradox live the animation#paradox live#kanata yatonokami#nayuta yatonokami#cozmez#buraikan#yasha#shura#allen sugasano#BAE#Ryu Natsume#the cat's whiskers#akan yatsura#review#anime#anime review#arum journal#ecargmura#leave Kanata alone
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Just As I Am / Episode 2
Author: Kanata Haruka
Characters: Tetora, HiMERU
"Whew… I'm coming back to life! The cold water feels so good~!"
← Previous ✧ Directory
Season: Winter
Location: Seisoukan Dorm Room
A few days later.
Tetora: (This isn't good... I still can't come up with a good idea even though it's just before the deadline~!)
U~myu... What am I gonna do—
HiMERU: —Exactly how many times does HiMERU have to hear that strange groaning sound?
Tetora: Uwaah?! I'm sorry, HiMERU-san!
If I'm bothering you, I'll go outside right away...
HiMERU: Go outside? But it's already quite late for you to be out.
Tetora: Eh, is it already that late? It looks like Narukami-senpai hasn't come home yet, though...
HiMERU: Narukami-san mentioned working overnight this morning.
Tetora: Come to think of it, I think I heard something like that... Ahaha.
HiMERU: Well, you seemed to be lost in thought since the morning.
Narukami-san said she would wait to hear it from you, but HiMERU has reached his limit.
If you have any worries, please talk about them. HiMERU will help you.
Tetora: ...That's unexpected. That HiMERU-san would try to interrogate me on my troubles.
HiMERU: HiMERU will be unable to sleep if this continues. And it would feel unpleasant to kick you out.
Tetora: Uu... Well, you're right.
But this time, I want to come up with a definite answer all on my own...
HiMERU: So nothing is progressing in the current situation.
HiMERU believes that wasting time without being able to resolve it is pointless, though.
Tetora: Ugh... HiMERU-san's words are like a stab in the heart...
HiMERU: HiMERU has no desire to force you into anything, but you should calmly judge whether your situation allows you such a luxury.
Tetora: ...You're right, HiMERU-san. The deadline is just around the corner, and I still haven't come up with a proposal at all.
I'm just being stubborn. It's not good for Anzu-anego either.
I understand... HiMERU-san, can I ask you for some advice?
HiMERU: —Very well. HiMERU understands the details.
However, are you unable to determine the direction of the "Feature Live" you would like to have?
Tetora: When I had Anego make the personalized outfit for me, I asked for something slightly more mature and adult-like, reaching a bit beyond my usual style.
I wanted it to be a reflection of my feelings of "I want to work hard and grow," and "I want to grow into a person who is worthy of this outfit."
Those feelings haven't changed. I want my fans to see me continue to work hard and grow.
But I don't think I can say I've "grown" if my answer is the same this time...
HiMERU: —Isn't it already good? Just as you are.
Tetora: Eh? Are you seriously saying that?!
HiMERU: You should thoroughly express that instead. If that is indeed your ideal.
Tetora: To express it thoroughly... But how do I do it?
HiMERU: You don't need to think too hard. Just show them your true, honest self.
Even if it's reckless, keep moving forward anyway. Strive relentlessly to reach your ideals.
That's the stylish, cool image you want to show to your fans, isn't it?
If that's the case, then it's fine to not try too hard. If you can "charm" your fans as your true self, that's enough.
Especially for this "Feature Live", they will be taking candids for the pamphlet.
Doesn't it align well with the project's concept?
Tetora: I see. I admit that I hadn't thought of that...
HiMERU: —HiMERU will say this beforehand, please don't think that you're being coddled by his proposal.
If it weren't someone who consistently strives for self-improvement, HiMERU wouldn't make this kind of suggestion.
Tetora: ...HiMERU-san, does that mean you think that way about me?
HiMERU: Although it's been a short period of time, we have lived together in the same room.
HiMERU sees your daily efforts, even when he wouldn't like to witness them.
Tetora: "Even when he wouldn't like to", that's a strange way of putting it...
HiMERU: You'll occasionally grasp a hand grip while getting under the covers.
Have you noticed that it makes a surprisingly loud clinking sound?
Tetora: Ah, ahaha... I'll be careful from now on.
HiMERU: It's fine. HiMERU is also impressed by your attitude toward improving yourself as an idol.
Now then, HiMERU is going to bed soon. Nagumo, make sure not to overexert yourself either.
Tetora: Roger that! Thank you very much for your help!
Tetora: (Just as I am... The real me... huh.)
Alright! I'll put together a proposal and call Anego!
Location: Yumenosaki Academy Grounds
Tetora: Ah! He~ey, over here! Anzu-anego! You made it~!
Hold on a sec! I'm heading over right now~!
Haah... Huff... I kept you waiting, Anego. Sorry for calling you out so early in the morning.
...Sorry, Anego, can I have some water first?
Tetora: Thanks a bunch. I ran as fast as I could this morning and got thirsty...
Whew... I'm coming back to life! The cold water feels so good~!
Ahaha. I was in a bit of a good mood, so I overdid my morning practice!
Also, Anego, are you taking in enough water?
Don't hesitate to grab a drink if you're feeling thirsty!
I've properly hydrated, so I'm full of energy now! With this, I can keep up with my training and keep running!
Tetora: Oops. Before I run, I have to explain why I called you, Anego.
"Have you decided what kind of live you want to do?" Ahaha, Anego can see through anything, huh.
In this "Feature Live", I want to show my fans the real me.
I usually try hard to be a man among men.
In this pamphlet, I'm thinking of focusing on my everyday efforts as the main theme.
No... I want to be the kind of idol that makes all my fans feel that way.
That's my proposal... Is it a bad idea?
"Well then, let me take a picture right away."? Did you already have your camera with you, Anego?!
I called you in the morning 'cause I wanted to share the image of the pamphlet ASAP, yet I didn't wanna shoot it right after!
But, something this sudden might be a good way to show my usual self, I guess ♪
Understood! If I don't show my manliness here, it'll only be a distant dream to be a man among men, right?
But still, being on the training grounds with Anego reminds me a little of the sports festival.
I kinda miss the time when I did the Two-Legged Race thing with you.
Hehe... Will you run with me from now on like you did then, Anego?
What, I'm just kidding. I mean, it's more like a metaphor.
Tetora: Anzu-anego, I have yet to reach my ideal self.
I still don't think I'm confident enough to say that I'm a man among men.
That's why I hope to have that confidence someday. I'll keep working hard from now on.
I just wanted to say that I want you to watch me as much as possible.
"I'm always going to do that." Haha, Anego's so encouraging. Really, thank you so much.
Well then, Anzu-anego. We're about to start shooting, I'll be in your care!
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!? Do Cozmez actually Trust each other !? ☆ (VD predictions)
- Hey! After reading through the lyrics for Trust Nobody, I feel like it's being strongly hinted that Nayuta is getting tired of Kanata's attitude towards certain things while Kanata is very stressed thanks to his PTSD. I believe there's an insane mix of unfortunate events going on that made stuff turn out this way. Even though I can't understand the VD (where are the people who sub those istg) just the overall vibes and lyrics of Trust Nobody lend me to believe this is the case. So let's speculate about what's going on!!
☆ Part #1 ☆ The lack of Trust (based on Trust Nobody lyrics)
- If you pay attention to the subs, it looks like there's a constant discussion going on through the whole song. Every Kanata verse keeps talking about all the stuff they've gone through as brothers, and how he doesn't Trust anyone besides Nayu. While Nayu acknowledges this, he still pretty much says the opposite about Trust. We have quotes from him like:
"It can't be helped that all can't be mutually understood, pushing values and correctness onto each other, there's no way that can be called Trust. As long as we live, there'll be a difference in our strides."
- Nayuta believes there's no trust between him and Kanata, and that's completely normal. They haven't seen each other for 2 years, Kanata had to deal with strong trauma and changed a lot overtime, while Nayuta was pretty much frozen in time and his life just restarted. Nayuta was used to the old Kanata, so he seems to be bothered by current Kanata. I'm guessing Kanata has been very overprotective (as usual) and trying to force some ideas onto him (like for example, try and make him NOT trust anyone but him). I don't think Nayu can measure just how miserable Kanata becomes when they have disagreements, but he does know he usually starts having a breakdown, so he probably doesn't know how to go around it without getting a frustrating outcome (for him) of Kanata leaving him mid sentence or just exploding on his face. This isn't anyone's fault, they just need to talk it out, but considering Kanata's stubbornness, its really hard for Nayu to even try.
☆ Part #2 ☆ The consequences of Fame? (based on VD sample)
***I'm pretty sure the first part is actually happening, but this part is more based on speculation and what I can gather from the VD without subs, take this with a grain of salt.
- For context, the VD sample seems to begin in an interview. The interviewer brings up Buraikan, which annoys the twins, but especially Kanata. After Buraikan mention, interviewer says another thing which greatly offends Kanata and leads him to complain with Nayuta, who tries to calm him down so they can continue, but Kanata just left all together leaving Nayuta by himself. After this, Kanata encounters some fans, featuring a kid and some girl invading his privacy and taking pics. Kanata reacts violently which scares the fans, until Iori comes to the rescue. SO for what I can gather Kanata seems to not be taking the fame too greatly, which can also impact Nayu's annoyance towards his attitude as of late. Kanata's mind must be pretty busy just by dealing with the stress of being with the REAL Nayu, who's a changing human being (not an illusion now) and is way harder to protect of something like that incident happening again and just the outside world, and this with going to interviews that bring out other artists all the time and pretty much ignore Kana's efforts for achieving his dreams + fans harassing him must be really messing with his mental state, which ends up harming Nayu since Kanata seems to be in a terrible mood without Nayuta knowing why. This can also be a factor as to why Kanata acted the way he did and their overall lack of trust, since
Kanata can't trust Nayuta to survive alone and Nayuta can't trust Kanata to let him live and explore by himself.
- Okay so, this is all I have!! We'll see how close I was when the actual VD releases.... Shiver me timbers. I love analysing Kanata but it's 3am so excuse any grammar errors or typos. 😭😭
#paradox live#pararai#cozmez#kanata yatonokami#nayuta yatonokami#trust nobody#i love him#valittletheories
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Undisclosed desires.
ೃ⁀➷ A Kanallen fic.
Featuring. Kanata Yatonokami x Allen Sugasano.
Desires spilling over, like a burning ocean.
Tags: character x character, romantic, fluff, suggestive.
🔮 - To @koumeowkami it's finally here! My first Kanallen fic (and my first time writing character x character too!) and I'm dedicating it to you 💜 I hope I managed to do them justice.
: ̗̀➛ Btw, to my readers, you should go read my favorite fic: No celestial by @koumeowkami (support my friend!! No celestial is my comfort fic, read it pls! <3)
He is grateful his friends are not home today.
He knows if it wasn’t for him oversleeping, he wouldn’t have had it in him to succumb to the tantalizing sin hovering above him right now.
And quite literally at that.
The young man’s vermillion eyes are entranced by twin dusks frowning back at him.
And he knows, stars must have aligned for this situation to even be fathomable.
For the man he can’t resist to have answered his call and agreed to come to him.
Allen swallows, the silence in his room broken only by his hammering heart and the heavy breathing of his boyfriend.
No, Kanata hated that word.
”’M not!” The latter always pouted, whenever his partner used that word.
Allen found it cute, how his lover acted so tough and yet such a simple word reduced him to an utter blushing stuttering mess.
Adorable.
However, that is not the word BAE’s leader would use to describe him in the current situation.
The gaze staring him up and down is sharp, the tips of a frosted imploding star; a backdrop of indigo infinities, stilling the flames in the phoenix’s heart.
Tendrils of silken lavender partially fall before the man’s doll-like face.
One of his hands rests beside Allen’s head, the weight shifting.
The ruffle of bed-sheets would be a preamble for devilish words and unholy actions.
“You’ve got some nerve making me come all the way to your rich friend’s house.”
The redhead’s eyes widen, uttering the name he always called for with wide smiles.
“But I’m so happy you agreed to meet, Kanata!” Allen’s eyes sparkle, that annoying glint they always took whenever he was about to yap about hip-hop.
And Kanata was usually (always) the one on the receiving end of those rambles.
But not now.
“Shut up.” Cozmez’s leader grumbles.
His other hand rests on the mattress, dangerously close to his partner’s neck.
That damn Suzaku.
When and why in hell did he agree to go along with his antics?
And especially why did he have to get into this mess, just because stupid Allen asked him to?
”You like him, don’t you?” The amused voice of his twin suddenly echoes in his mind, the memory of their conversation a few nights ago, unwelcome now.
“Nayuta!” Kanata replied, almost choking on his instant cup noodles. Eyes widened, he could not help the flames blooming on his cheeks, turning to cinders the cage of thorns around his heart.
“Hehe, you are blushing.” The other observed, expression knowing. “I’ll tell Shiki all about it.” Nayuta sing-sang, stuffing his face full of gyoza.
“Oi, Nayuta!!” His older brother exclaimed, mortified at how obvious the feelings he so tried to deny were.
The memory of his twin’s laughter fades away then, the touch of the man before him bringing him back.
“Kanata…” Allen utters, maroon gaze tender. “You are very tense…”
Kanata’s answer comes in the form of an annoyed growl. A scowl knits his brows together, as he takes off his jacket, a bundle of mint and violet landing unceremoniously on the floor.
Allen is right.
He is tense.
But how could he not be, in a situation like this? How could he relax, when his favorite flame dances tentatively at the tip of his fingers?
They trace the dark swirls inked on his beloved’s neck.
Without thinking, Allen’s fingertips place on his fallen angel’s waist, pads feeling the softness of Kanata’s small waist.
The latter releases a sigh.
And in the afternoon lit room, fiercely entangled heartbeats play the instrumentals of the two men’s love song.
Its lyrics come in the way Kanata’s lips smash against Allen’s with reckless abandon.
Surprised whimpers leave the latter’s lips, eyes of embers at sundown wide momentarily, closing in a myriad of lashes brushing against his lover’s moon-kissed skin.
Kanata’s sharp canines sink with hunger on the pink of his partner’s mouth, tongues entangled in a dance of intoxicating heat.
This kiss is sparks set ablaze amidst an endless storm, lightning flashing; it’s leaping into emptiness, only the exhilaration in your stomach and the scream that leaves your lips.
Cozmez’s leader grunts, grip on the back of Allen’s neck tightening, knuckles white.
“K-Kanata…” Is everything the redhead can manage to whimper, before his pleas are swallowed by the ravenous throat of the snake.
“Quiet…” Kanata grunts in between bites and kisses.
He wanted this.
He wanted Allen.
And the way he will never admit it in words doesn’t matter when his every touch is seared like sweet venom in the other’s skin.
Kanata’s hand finds Allen’s.
Pale, soft fingers close around the roughness of his boyfriend’s palm.
And, in that sole instant, Allen can feel all the desperation, love and wanting in that single touch.
There are no ‘ifs’, no chains or inhibitions; there is not his angel’s furtive gaze from prying eyes before daring to hold hands in the streets.
It’s just them.
Them and their beautiful eclipse, a blazing moon against all odds.
The clock keeps ticking; outside, the sun reaches its zenith, like a mirror image of the lovers’ secret rendezvous.
Reluctantly, Kanata’s lips separate from his beloved’s.
A string of saliva ephemerally connects the two, a caress of moondust over a phoenix’s wings.
Dusk meets dawn in half lidded gazes and tousled hair; rosy clouds spread through their faces.
Neither of them want to stop.
But alas, sun and moon can only touch lips briefly before the mantle of night falls over the world.
Kanata gathers his hair back, Allen’s gaze inevitably drawn to the elastic held in between his sharp canines.
Not long ago, they grazed his own lips.
Allen touches a hand to them, his expression dazed, akin to the bittersweet aftertaste of rosé wine.
Cozmez’s eldest picks up his jacket from the floor, shrugging it in.
They both know he’s taking longer than needed.
In the silence of the room, Kanata clicks his tongue.
A grunt leaves his lips the moment his fingers close around Allen’s wrist.
And maybe it’s the heat of the moment, or perhaps the uncertainty of when will come another day in which they can have time like this.
But he tugs him along to the sidewalk, next to where Kanata parked his motorcycle.
The latter squeezes BAE’s member’s hand as he gets on the bike.
Their eyes meet.
And, bathed in last daylight, Kanata tugs Allen towards him.
He gasps, before, like complementary satellites, their lips collide once more.
Nightfall reaches its first starfield.
The two men’s faces burn like dawn.
By the sidewalk, blazen eyes stare at his moon’s smokey stella.
The sound of the motorcycle’s engine fades away into the newly risen asters.
See you soon, the phoenix’s waving hand wordlessly sings.
#paradox live#kanallen#kanata yatonokami#allen sugasano#paralive#pararai#prri#paradox live cozmez#paradox live bae#cozmez#allenkana#paradox live kanata#yatonokami kanata#paralive imagines#paradox live fanfiction
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Please elaborate on the concept of Yamato coming up in ch3, like how would Mikako turn out with him there? Would his earlier presence affect how any of the murder cases go?
(also neat redesign, tho just like Teruya i don't have much to say about it)
Yeah, I had a feeling you wouldn't have much to say about Yamato's redesign as he had barely changed. You seem to like it, though, and that makes me happy. :]
As for the concept of Yamato joining the class at the end of Chapter 3, I feel like Mikako would be SO relieved to know that her belief that he's probably dead/Monokuma got rid of him turned out to be wrong, but she still feels pain in her head and she ends up falling to her knees from it. But that's nothing in comparison to having her brother by her side again...although it quickly becomes apparent that he can't really communicate very well and his memories are so mixed up that he can't even tell who Mikako is, which quickly ruins her relief. At this point in the story, her brain damage has yet to grow worse so she's not bleeding from the eyes and ears upon seeing him. She only becomes that way by Chapter 5 due to Rei trying to grill both her and Yamato for information which caused her so much stress on her brain from remembering that her body just gets so overworked and causes the reaction. The reason for why she died the way she did isn't very well explained in Chapter 6, I feel like?? Honestly, I've interpreted that when Yamato used his prototype machine to help Mikako keep her memories alongside him, they unknowingly damaged the chip in her brain that her birth mother installed since she was a baby and the reason that the static noise keeps going off is because her memories being forcefully remembered over and over again just keeps damaging the chip to the point that it injures her brain. And because neither of them knew of the brain chip, they don't understand why her condition keeps worsening but Mikako does put together that the constant static noise is connected to what's causing harm to her body and even realizes that she'll probably die if she keeps going like this...which, unfortunately, does happen in Chapter 5 when the chip...well, malfunctions and explodes. Which she did on purpose, if you get what I mean. Back to Chapter 3's ending, I also feel like the group would be...slightly peeved but mostly confused. Peeved because there really is no exit down here and they're once again reminded that the only way out is through murder, no thanks to Monokuma. Confused cause why is there a random guy their age down here and locked up??? If he's a classmate, shouldn't he have been with them from the start? And why is...acting like this? This is when Monokuma pops in and scolds them for being here when they're not suppose to, especially since they might as well have ruined the surprise motive for later. Well, it doesn't matter now since there's no point in pretending Yamato was never here when they've all seen him, and they're already halfway through the killing game anyways. So he just allows the transfer student to enter the class early, officially welcoming Yamato Kisaragi, the Ultimate Inventor.
As for how Mikako turns out with Yamato there, her physical condition still continues to worsen as their current circumstances make it impossible to help the root cause of the problem. Especially since Kanata is dead at this point, so they can't perform any kind of surgery even if they did know. And since Yamato is struggling to be very aware of the circumstances surrounding them, at least for now, Mikako is kindof his...unofficial caretaker as she's the only one he seems to trust openly with how easily he listens to her. Which she actually finds frustrating even when she still chooses to help him because that's her brother and like hell she's going to leave him alone. (No, seriously, why did she leave him alone so often in Chapter 5 when he's like this??? He could've been easy pickings for anyone that was plotting to murder, but thankfully the group was determined NOT to do that (unlike Monokuma).) She's frustrated because she thought finding Yamato would not only confirm if he's alive or dead, but also they could've shared the burden of having their memories somewhat intact and help each other lead the others out of this killing game. But instead, she's saddled with trying to help him alongside everyone else and the stress is really getting to her. Mikako is just not happy with how everything is going, especially with what she already knows and watching all of her friends die before her over motives that, in the end, don't really matter due to the lack of information they have and the Tragedy taking place outside. But she swallows her frustration and continues to cling to her ideals of hope to try and help everyone, she just ends up adding Yamato to that list. Fun fact: she was actually there when Yuki apologizes to Yamato as it's pretty clear that he wronged him, he just doesn't know what it is, and Yamato just...accepting it rubs her the wrong way for some reason. It's not that she doesn't believe Yuki can't be saved or helped, especially since he's been trying his hardest during the trials, but as she's been remembering more and more, she's starting to get the impression that Yuki is VERY untrustworthy. So seeing her brother, who tends to be more pessimistic when in comparison to her (remember, he was going to kick Akane and Yuki/Utsuro out of the group before the invasion of the Kisaragi Lab happened or at least confront them for being suspicious if Mikako hadn't intervened and suggested to give them a chance instead), accept that apology so easily after what happened just...upsets her. Even if she doesn't fully understand why at this point. I also think that Mikako's FTEs canonically happened from Chapter 1 to Chapter 3 and that she joins in on Yamato's first three FTEs to help communications between him and Yuki, even going as far as to divulge little tidbits of their childhood together, albeit from her perspective. But it's also pretty clear that unlike in her FTEs where she's decently open to Yuki, she's far more uncomfortable around him in Yamato's FTEs while the inventor interacts with Yuki like he was a normal person. Yamato and Mikako are often seen together, but it's obvious that Mikako is currently taking the lead right now, even when Yamato shows signs of lucidity. Which may or may not be because Yuki is unconsciously using Divine Luck to slowly help Yamato recover from his brain damage cause he wants answers from him but can't get them very easily due to the struggles of communicating with him.
Mikako is still doing her best to help the class and inspire hope, but unfortunately, Yamato's appearance is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because whenever he does show clarity, he's very blunt and to the point, trying to understand the situation while making it clear to everyone that they should be working together, not fighting each other or giving up. Which does work sometimes. But it's also a curse because due to her connection with him and his relation to this other Kisaragi person, everyone's trust in her is starting to waver. Especially when the dissonance starts to hit whenever Yamato drops information he knows about the others to try and get them onto the right track when, from their perspective, he should Not Fucking Know That cause he's a stranger to them. So that only adds to their suspicion of them, and thus, Mikako. Which only frustrates her even more, and I doubt Monokuma would like it either, even giving her a thinly veiled threat that if she doesn't keep her brother on a "leash," he may as well get rid of him. This forces her to keep her mouth shut even further, not only to keep her from dying too early from remembering too much and making her condition worse, but also to protect Yamato, too. And Yamato just...keeps pushing the boundaries of what he should and shouldn't do in his position. I can see Mikako snapping at him at some point, perhaps even during the fourth trial, but I'm not sure of how it'll go just yet. Just know that their relationship is definitely going to be tested, but in the end, they will always care and try to protect one another. Even when they do end up failing. </3
As for the murder cases, I'm...not sure, tbh? I haven't thought about the cases just yet and I don't really plan to change the death order, either. The concept is mostly to develop Yamato's character a bit more while allowing him to interact with the remaining class as while he's a good guy, his flaws aren't very pronounced, nor is his backstory explored. He's just good for the sake of good, and while it isn't bad to have a heroic character as they can still have plenty of depth to them, it just doesn't feel like he's given any depth at all due to the lack of time we get to spend with him (and even then, he's suffering from brain damage that the writing more or less plays off as a joke than a serious consequence of his attempts to protect his memories alongside Mikako's) nor do we get to explore his character in the one chapter he appears and dies in. Let alone get to see his flaws or telegraph them to the audience very well in Chapter 5 AND the Chapter 6 flashback. I like what we got and all, but it could've been better in some ways, you know? This concept is more about the little details of Yamato and the interactions and reactions he could've had in the killing game if he was found sooner. And maybe give Mikako better treatment??? As a character???? Maybe? It's something to think a bit more about. But it's definitely not a fic I'll be writing anytime soon as I'm already working on two other projects and some other fics on the sidelines. My plate is pretty full and I shouldn't overwhelm myself by adding a third project into the mix, even when I do have other ideas ping-ponging in my head.
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Altered - Heaven and Hell 5
Author: Akira
Characters: Natsume, Rei, Kanata, Wataru, Shu
Translator: Mika Enstars
"Ugh, my soul is stained by my tongue, now that I’ve spoken about vile things such as money."
Season: Winter
Location: Sakura Park (Cherry Blossoms)
⚠️ This is an import from a unproofed Twitter Livetweet!
Natsume: UnfortunateLY, we no longer have the time for such reunioNS… Niisans, do you have your smartphones on yOU?
Though I doubt you’re interested and have looked into iT, they rank and announce the amount of votes received in OO performancES.
Rei: Mhm. It’s very nostalgic. It’s the same system as the Yumenosaki Dream Fes, where the winner’s determined by the amount of votes your performance gets.
For OO, the winning unit is who can receive the most votes over the event’s course of three days… At least, that’s the pitch.
Wataru: Indeed. There are no restrictions to how much you can perform, so the winner will be the unit that can continue to stand on stage for the entire three days.
Rei: In simple terms, yes. But since we are charged a performance fee every time we go on stage, you have to maintain a profit else you’ll be left in the red.
Wataru: So instead, you’re stuck with the fear of being in debt.
If you have to pay up 100 votes in order to perform, then if you can’t earn back at least 100 more votes, it’s a financial loss!
The longer you stand on stage, the poorer you become. You become the working poor.
At the conclusion, your vote surplus gets converted into L$, and that’s to be your paid reward.
Rei: It appears that ES wants to recover the money they splurged off in SS…
Because the performance fee is quite high, it feels like there’s no way to make a profit.
As a result, we’re not moving too aggressively , else we might end up losing money every time we take to the stage—Instead, we’re taking it easy and enjoying our time like this.
Once the government and banks become reluctant to lend money, companies slow their functions to the point the economy stagnates. It’s a bad capitalistic scenario.
Kanata: This is a difficult “topic”, huh.
Rei: Mhm. But you can’t move forward without understanding it properly. It’s an important thing to know in this day and age of which we live.
We idols are like sole proprietors, so we must have some degree of economic knowledge, else we’ll lose money.
Shu: While I get paid by ES, I’m treated like a temporary employee, not as a full-time one.
Ugh, my soul is stained by my tongue, now that I’ve spoken about vile things such as money.
Wataru: Money’s not all that bad, is it~?
The monetary economy is the world’s most powerful illusion. A concept that exists only because everyone believes that it does… The last remaining magic of the modern era.
An illusion shared by us all, because everyone believes that cash and coins, mere pieces of paper and mineral, hold value!
It’s magic. One that shares its roots with art, where value is found in paint and carved lumps of rock.
Shu: You’ve always been obnoxious, but lately you’ve been speaking more and more about money. Just whose influence is this?
Wataru: Fufufu, my apologies for going on about my love. ♪
Natsume: We’ve gone off topIC. It’s always like this when close friends get togethER…
But anywaYS, could everyone check the ratings on their phonES?
There’s nobody aggressively taking on the staGE, as it’ll only be a loSS. Though that’s just to be expectED, given OO’s atmospheRE.
You would expect the mood to run stagnaNT, yet somehOW, there are those making a fortune through OO.
And they have performed again and agaIN, and are completely unrivalED, currently ranked one with a massive amount of votES.
Rei: I guess not everyone can read the atmospheRE, or at least think ahead. They seem to be taking the festival’s premise super seriously.
Natsume: That’s not iT. Those guYS, they’re faKES.
Kanata: What do you mean, “fakes”~?
Natsume: The unit in questiON, the one currently at the top of the rankinGS, it’s called “Altered”—
Their true identity is a mysteRY. All over the internET, there are rumors that they are a completely new unit formed by the Five Eccentrics.
Shu: Wha? The Five Eccentrics? What do you mean, this is the first I’m hearing about this…?
Rei: Given everyone’s reactions here, it appears it’s a surprise to all of us.
It doesn’t make sense. None of us Five Eccentrics are involved, but for some reason there are some people calling themselves the Five Eccentrics running amok.
Something certainly is up. This really may not be the time to lay back and enjoy the cherry blossoms.
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who is your current favorite love life idol and why? were they your first favorite idol or did you discover them after playing the game more? did you dislike them or not care about them then they grew on you?
im very interested since i feel like youve mentioned it but never really went into depth about said topic.. love you corpsette btw
my first favorite was riko, i remember i got into love live in ~2016 (after sunshine season 1 but before season 2, before the first aqours duo-trio album as well) with my first actual taste of it being sif1 (rip....), i saw her at the screen to choose your starting idol(?) and i really liked her from that point. however, i think shes probably been overtaken by yohane for my favorite aqours member. recently yohane got an anime focused on her and ive been meaning to watch it but havent yet... i also need to finish sunshine season2 ive been procrasting SINCE IT CAME OUT!!! T-T
^the picture of riko (red hair) i used here was probably one of my faves as a kid i thought she looked soo pretty
also, back then i considered myself to have a fave muse member (eli) but i barely interacted with muse in any of the games and only watched like 4 eps of sip so i gave up on labelling myself as having a fave muse member since it feels a bit wrong to do so when i know so litttle even though information is easily avaliable to me yk, however towards the end of me labelling myself as having a fave muse member it started to shift to kotori
when nijigaku (at the time pdp) was revealed i clung to kanata, however my fave nijigaku member is now probably lanzhu (she might be one you remember me talking about? possibly yohane as well), the only sifas season i fully(?) read was season 2 bc of her, thats the season she was introduced/an antagonist in, i want to watch the nijigaku anime to see her but i heard they changed her personality a bit so im a bit anxious. everyone hated lanzhu when she was first revealed it seems except me. also shes the only member i actually tried to read all of the bond stories of in sifas (rip........)
for liella, i forget who i liked when they were first revealed pre-anime, but i do like keke. i also think margarete will become a fave as well when she joins liella in the upcoming third season i already like her a little :3
i havent engaged with much hasunosora but i think if i do ill like tsuzuri
i dont think ill be able to pin the exact reason why i like everyone - i just attach to a character and accept it i guess, but i can give a reason i like keke and why i think ill like tsuzuri!
keke - how much she wants to be an idol... even as a kid i wanted to make music in a way, and when i first watched aqours i guess the urge grew stronger, so its like im watching someone who has the same wish as me actually succeed in doing so...
tsuzuri - when her introduction video was released my first thought was "wow, i think people might describe her in ways i was described" (specifically, how i was once described as always seeming like im in another world or somewhere else mentally) so ive been predicting me liking her ever since. but i havent read too much about her yet so
#asks#mutuals#ll#my first ever love live plush is a lanzhu one :3#also im getting a yohane goods set coming ^-^
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#I feel like I've made it clear by now on my blog I'm a ryuseitai girl there are NO bad songs in ryuseitai's discography I'll fight on that!
girl i love these idol power rangers too but you can't mean that when growing starry days and seishun emergency exist😂
What did I say, Anon?! 😡😡😡😡😡😡
I kid, you’re free to feel that way, Anon! But I truly sincerely mean it when I say I don’t think there’s a single bad song in the Ryuseitai discography. So, why don’t we go through all of their songs and I talk about why I like them!
I’m only gonna list Ryuseitai specific songs, so ones that features them as a group in the song or their solos. I’m not listing the shuffle unit songs or their version of songs like Brand New Stars, since those aren’t specifically Ryuseitai songs.
Yumenosaki Ryuseitai Uta: Dakara FIGHTING! ✊ (FIGHTING!) FIGHTING! ✊ (FIGHTING!) From what I understand this is in universe Ryuseitai's first song, from before the current Ryuseitai was even formed. And what banger it is! It's a shame there's no MV for this one, I feel like it could get a good one. I love that everyone says their catchphrase during it (well...I mean Midori made an attempt...) A perfect song for introducing who Ryuseitai are and what they're about as a group.
The Unrivaled Meteor Ranger: Absolutely catchy classic! So much fun to play in the rhythm game, I get so into it (which means I keep breaking my combos). I just feel like I'm having fun listening to it, as if I'm watching the boys actually perform on the stage in front of me. They also sounds really good during the chorus for this one!
Goshiki no Shooting Star: Shooting Star! Shooting Star! Kagayake! Seigi koso...Shinjitsu to! Shinjiteru! Inochigake! Mamorinuke! Doro ni mamire nagara mo!!! *insert head bopping cat gif* I think this song does a fantastic job of showing how much of a kick Chiaki's voice gives the group's vocals. His voice is the deep and strong, and when he backs someone else's vocals it gives the lines an extra oomph that I adore!
Super Nova Revolu5tar: I love the build up to the opening lines! I think Ryuseitai may sound the best as a whole in this song. Their voices merge together so gorgeously in the chorus. I love the part that goes from violins to guitar as the boys talk it's beautiful! The whole last minute and a half of the song is gorgeous and I won't budge on that.
Ryuusei Hanabi: Practically everyone and their mother adores this song, and for good reason! It's an absolute bop from start to end. The use of traditional Japanese instruments, the chants, the beat of it. Another fun one to play in the rhythm game! Though I can't full combo the song on hard mode 😭 Fun fact, this is one of those few songs I already knew of from years back! I always find myself at the very least tapping along to the chanting.
Growing Starry Days: Hot take, Ryuseitai should get to sing more soft sounding songs. I know sentai-esque songs are their main thing, but damn it this song is too damn beautiful to be one of the VERY few soft songs they do! I heard this one isn't popular, to which I say FUCK THAT! Another song that really emphasizes how Chiaki's voice really brings the group's vocals together. I can't helpt smiling every time I listen to this song!
Unlimited Power: I just love that this is a song of thanks from Ryuseitai to all their fans, that's so damn sweet. The part where they all list the colors and their names is adorable (well except for Kanata 😂) Just as I can hear how well they get across their gratefulness in their voices throughout the song, I end up smiling and feeling just as thankful for them for making me smile so much with their music!
Meteor Scramble: Like I said last time I LOVE that they included their names in the lyrics! And in fun ways too, they play around with word placement and even Japanese pronunciation of English words for Tetora and Midori. Chiaki (ichi ichi akirametecha), Kanata (negau kanata e ikenai), Tetora (tachimukatte toraburu o), Midori (saa let me dream), Shinobu (manazashi no bun). I enjoy the high pace energy of the song, and I ESPECIALLY love the guitar solo section!
Suisei Halation: I fucking love this song, it feels like such a 80s-90s sounding anime opening in all the best ways! The beat once the chorus hits is so high pace, it's so much fun to listen to and just as much to play in the rhythm game. I can picture waking up to watch an anime with this opening on TV whenever I listen to it. My favorite part is when the boys all take one line each from the beginning of the chorus, it has a cool feel to it!
Heart Heat Beat: While not as soft as Growing Starry Days, this song does have a softer feel to it compared to other Ryuseitai songs. I love listening to it while I walk, though I always end up bouncing along because it has such pep in it! I feel like this song is a hidden gem of Ryuseitai's discography, I rarely hear anyone speak of it but it has such a fun and adorable feel to it. Also, I really love how powerful Midori's "ikou yo" is, it's not often he puts that much power in his solo lines.
Nekketsu Ryusei Ninpouchou: The old video game sounding opening to this song is such a nice touch. I loved how everyone's voices sounded throughout this song, they flowed together so well. Combine that with the energetic feel to it all and it makes for such a fun song. I love how it changed from slower pace to higher pace at several points and yet never loses that energy. Also, I think this song has some of Shinobu's strongest singing in it!
Colors Arise: Another song that sounds like an anime opening in all the best ways! The guitar sounds absolutely fantastic in this song and really gets me so pumped up. I think my favorite part is when the song suddenly sounds like a completely different song a little over two minutes in before swinging back to the main chorus. It's such a fun change that manages to not feel awkward.
Relax Paradise: RELAX~! ☺️ I'll be honest on first listen this song wasn't my thing, so that would've made this post super awkward, huh? But after listening to it a couple more times I really started to get into the bubbly energy of it all. Like "you know what? yeah I DO wanna go relax in the jungle!" I am super duper eager for the full version to drop, I wanna embrace the bubbly relaxing atmosphere.
Seishun Emergency: Wooo, get a chance! Woooo, make a chance! Don't give up! Don't give up! Be my girl! Yuzurenai battle!!! I heard this is another song that gets a ton of hate to which I say, why don't you people like having fun?! It's such a fun song with lyrics that are basically a shoujo romcom, what's not to like here?! There's such fun energy throughout this song and I really love how Ryuseitai and Knights combine their voices in this one! I can't sit still whenever the chorus starts up.
Hamutaro Tottoko Uta: People who hate on this song have never felt the joy the little things in life can bring. Cring is dead, let’s get you some fun and whimsy! It has a catchy marching-like beat and you can’t help but clap, move your foot, or bounce along to it with Ryuseitai and Ra*bits. Plus, c'mon guys, it's HAMTARO! Daiiiisuki na no waaaaaaaa~! Hiiiiimawari no taneeeeeee~!!!!
Always Hero: BURNING HEART!!! JUSTICE BLAZE!!! 🔥🔥🔥 It's a song that feels very Chiaki in energy and lyrics. Despite not being a cute song, I just come out of listening to it feeling like Chiaki is adorable!
Marine Blue Rendezvous: Puka puka~ Love the slow feel of this song, I feel like I can sleep to this song. Not in a bad way, I mean listening to it is so relaxing, I can't help but be lulled into a peacful nap 😊
Mahiru no Zanzou: No joke, Midori's best singing is on display in this song. His voice is already soft, so his solo really showcases that. But there are moments where there's a emotional power there that hits me in my little heart juuuuust right!
Iron Heart Tiger: Another hot take I have is that Tetora's singing voice doesn't get enough praise. I think this song, especially with its high pace energy really helps to get across how pleasing it is to listen to sing!
Shippuu Jinrai Shinobi Michi: Such a Shinobu song, so very fitting for him and enjoyable to listen to from start to finish! I love the bouncy feel it has while also being mixed with some softer moments, befitting a ninja!
Okay, that’s all of Ryuseitai’s songs and why I love them! If you noticed I missed a song, please kill me where I stand because that means I failed to defend the honor of Ryuseitai’s discography if I forgot one 😞 Hope you enjoyed hearing my thoughts!
#story time with me#ensemble stars#did this manage to be longer or shorter than expected?#the answer may surprise you! 😃😃😃#hint: it's both#I feel very strongly about ryuseitai and their discography I will defend it with all I got#ryuseitai has yet to release a song I hate no one in enstars is doing it like them#my soul connected to the right unit I have naturally good taste in fictional idols 😤#my apologies to anyone who has been forced to read my nonsense#except you anon you asked to have my essay of a post forced on your brain#never talk to me or my power ranger idol sons ever again
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Honestly with all those idols fawning over you, you could very much create a cult centered around you -- their darling
Despite the Shinkai cult having been ceased to nonexistent by Madara's hands, and Kanata himself abandoning his duties as a god to become human and exist alongside them; what would stop Kanata from picking up his duties as a god again and declare you as his god/goddess at his own cult?
Would Madara and Chiaki be mad at their darling for wasting their efforts of making Kanata more humane during their yumenosaki years? Or would they join the cult centered around their darling?
gn reader
tw yandere, discussion of cults, obsession
Would the characters form a cult for the player?
Hmmm I actually don´t think current Kanata would start his own cult again, even as a yandere. I think he´s pretty happy to be human because that gives him a chance to be with you! I think he might start to see you as a god though, maybe? So he might start treating you as someone "superior" to everyone else.
The main reason why I don´t think a cult would be started by the self-aware characters? This is kind of petty but most of them are too possessive and jealous for that, even if there are ones that treat you like a god and worship you. Being in a cult with everyone else means that they all worship you and offer themselves up for you and that would mean sharing you in a sense! They are the only ones that truly adore and love you as you deserve, the others aren´t worthy of even sending a glance your way!
They also want you for their very own, not to be shared with the others under any circumstances so I assume pretty much everyone would protest against joining a cult where your "love" needs to be shared with all of its members. They would much rather monopolize all of your time and have the others stay away. They don´t need to join a cult to build their own shrine of you!
I want to reference a different post I made some time ago where I talked about how the fans would act around the player. Please give it a read before continuing here!
Anyway, in that post I described that the fans would kind of be like dolls without their own thoughts. They aren´t established characters in the enstars games and are just faceless people that don´t have any real importance ( they´re even a game mechanic). So they probably wouldn´t be self-aware like the characters or even actual individuals with their own thoughts and feelings.
They´re part of the game and as such, the game itself twists everything to be as welcoming to you as it can. So it´s only natural that the fans that listen to the new lovesick lyrics of their favorite idols would soon grow to favor you as well! The game immediately erases such ugly feelings like jealousy and instead turns them into love for you!
So remember how I said the idols wouldn´t form a cult because they all want to have you to themselves? Well, that doesn´t really apply to faceless masses of people that are suddenly very interested in you, right?
I mean, they are artificial, they are told by the game itself to love you so it only makes sense that they would get obsessive, right? So maybe it isn´t too far off to say that the crazy fan club might one day turn into a cult where they can properly worship you.
They don´t care about having you for their own, they aren´t *actual* real people. They only exist to adore and serve you.
#yandere enstars x reader#yandere ensemble stars x reader#yandere enstars#yandere ensemble stars#ensemble stars#enstars#enstars x reader#ensemble stars x reader#ensemble stars self aware au#yandere self aware ensemble stars au#yandere self aware au#gn reader#yandere#cw yandere#cw obsession#cw cult mention#yandere x reader
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SHINSEKAI - Magicians of ES: Chapter 6
Location: Tohoku Town (SHINSEKAI)
Characters: Mika & Shuu
< Ten or so minutes later. >
Mika: Ngh~... The Mado-nees (fake) talked about some confusin’ stuff and then left.
Fufu. Even if I know it was two middle-aged men on the inside, for some reason, it still felt pretty lovely when they looked like that.
Appearances are super important. Maybe I should start payin’ more attention to that sorta stuff too~ I’ve always left it to Onii-chan or the makeup artist.
Shuu: …………
Mika: Onii-chan? Uh, can’t he hear me? Did he also mute me too…?
Nooooo! Don’t ignore meeee! If I can’t even be within your field of vision, then I… I–!
Shuu: Oh, quiet you! I am listening to you! I won’t be treating you as if you “don’t exist”, so calm down!
Mika: O-Oshi-san…♪
Shuu: Non! That’s the second time! You’ve already failed to comply with the “order” twice in this conversation! Watch what you’re saying!
Mika: Ngh, I’m sorry. I have a habit of forgettin’ things pretty quickly.
Shuu: Hmph. Humans are built to forget the things that are unimportant and of no value.
Perhaps you’re someone as cold as ice who feels indifferent to everything.
Mika: Nghh? That’s not true~ Why would you describe me like I’m some rotten human being? I’m just an idiot!
Shuu: I know. I was joking so I’d appreciate it if you laughed.
Mika: What!? Oshi– Onii-chan, I couldn’t tell it was a joke from a mile away! There’s no way I could’ve laughed!
Shuu: Fufu. In any case, it seems we don’t really need to focus too much on the “orders”. It looks like the management doesn’t really care about us.
Mika: Ngh, really? How do you know that?
Shuu: The man by the name of “Gatekeeper” showed up in Mademoiselle’s guise a while ago, but he didn’t seem interested in us at all, didn’t he?
He said those exact words, after all.
He is the chairman of the “SS” Administration Committee and is the one behind everything that has to do with “SS”. I heard from Kanata that “Gatekeeper” contacts him occasionally from someplace else.
And it appears this “Gatekeeper” is meddling in a lot of idol affairs in the other regions.
But he looked as though he simply had no interest in us. That in itself does irritate me, though.
Is he underestimating us, thinking that we have yet to adapt to this “SHINSEKAI” and will fall to our ruin?
Or could it be that he has been warned not to touch us by someone who even he cannot easily control?
Mika: And who’s that?
Shuu: I assume it would be Seiya Hidaka. I thought the one who started meddling with us was “Gatekeeper”, someone from the management.
But judging from the conversation we just saw, it was Seiya Hidaka who was hanging around us.
Not that I know what his goal is. There shouldn’t be any common ground between us, so I wonder at what point he had his eyes on us.
Mika: Ngh… Rather than “us”, it feels like he’s got his eyes on me.
Shuu: You? Why?
Mika: Who knows…? He mentioned before that he wanted to make me his successor, though?
Shuu: Hmm. Wouldn’t that be an honour? He is an influential figure who is called the last active super idol in the entertainment industry.
It wouldn’t hurt to make connections with him.
Mika: Aha, connections? That’s somethin’ I never would have imagined you’d say, Onii-chan.
Shuu: Hmph. I learnt a thing or two overseas. No matter how talented the “real deal” is, it seems one cannot simply continue pursuing the things one likes.
Art finally becomes art the moment its value is discovered.
Even if the greatest piece is created by completely removing others, it won’t be acknowledged by anyone and will only sink into a swamp of mud.
Perhaps I would be able to indulge in that satisfaction, but my current body doesn’t only belong to me.
Mika: Huh? Oshi-san, are you pregnant?
Shuu: Are there maggots squirming inside that brain of yours?
Good grief. We have known each other for quite some time now but I still cannot understand what goes on in your head.
Just what is Seiya Hidaka thinking as well, selecting you to be his successor?
Mika: Ngh~? Yeah, he has a son in the same industry already, so he should’ve gotten him to be his successor.
Shuu: In this day and age, being related by blood may just be something akin to an illusion that has faded in value.
In any case, Seiya Hidaka showed us how to leave this mad world called “SHINSEKAI” just as he left.
Mika: Yeah. He said we just had to head over to the few log-out spots that are located in the town and complete the specified procedure, right?
Shuu: Indeed. It appears it’s also possible to contact the management and leave by force that way, but if we don’t leave using the official procedures, it’ll be dangerous as it puts a lot of strain on our brains.
Mika: Looks like it, huh… All this talk about brains and stuff, it’s scary…
A log-out spot in this neighbourhood was the samurai residence with a lake in the garden, right?
Shuu: Hmph. This is supposed to be a fantasy world so why is this town designed purely in a Japanese style, or rather, present-day Japan?
It’s just this town that seems out of place from the rest and that bothers me.
Mika: I think they’re just tryin’ to make it look more like the Tohoku region, though. It all feels really familiar to me so I think it’s nice~ I wouldn’t know what to do if I was suddenly thrown into a world with dragons and goblins.
I do like stuff like that too but I know it’s all made-up, so I can relax and have fun. What I normally experience are nightmares.
There are a lot of NPCs with weird appearances and they don’t look at me weirdly ‘cause of the colours of my eyes.
So I thought that’s nice.
Shuu: Hmph. This “SHINSEKAI” is apparently a utopia the Boy created, so he must have also taken the minority into account.
Mika: That’s true. I just had a thought, but if there really was a utopia with no discrimination or negative feelings…
Would idols also be able to live there?
Shuu: …Meaning?
Mika: Umm, I can’t really explain it.
But people experience anguish and sorrow so they seek idols to heal them and give them a good time.
They try to gather those positive feelings that they couldn’t produce themselves.
I used to have a complex about my eyes in the past but even though some people still think it’s strange, it’s also recognised as one of my unique characteristics now.
They say it’s my own charm, something that no one else has.
It’s true but this is a world that’s already complete without dark things or things that no one likes…
Will I be wanted and loved as myself and as the idol I am right now in that world?
Is there really a place for idols in a utopia where everyone can all lead happy lives equally?
Shuu: …………
← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂ Next Chapter →
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kaosou. do it.
Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it
Simply put, it’s the red string of fate effect. End post. I love them for the dramatic, but entirely natural character growth. Circumstances keep bringing them back together, and they learn to live alongside each other and truly, truly appreciate each other. It was a very rocky start, though! Even just the road they took to being friends was long and hard. But that’s why this ship is one of my favourites-- they’ve already put an immense amount of effort to understand each other’s points of view, and they’re in a really good place as is. This is the secret to harmony in any relationship-- whether familial, platonic, romantic, or anything else. You listen, you learn, you understand, and you keep reaching for one another, even when times seem good. (Especially when times seem good, dear reader! Keep checking in on one another and you’ll avoid the worst of all disagreements.)
tl;dr They’ve put a lot of time and effort into working through their disagreements, and while they may never see eye to eye on every issue, they have a close, friendly dynamic that is, above all else, healthy in its current state, with plenty of room for forward movement.
WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN... At the start, I guess! I think one of the most important things to note about Souma is that he’s incredibly emotion-driven and will simply react according to what he feels. For the most part, this works about the same as it does for most people. He’s a very proud person, and while that usually translates into elegant speech and a certain degree of noble composure, it does also mean that he can heat up very quickly when his sense of pride is threatened. More than that, he came onto the scene with an incredibly rigid, black and white view of the world, and he wasn’t always the most graceful at having his worldview challenged.
One of the first really big obstacles here was Kaoru. I think it’s important to note that Kaoru was not in a very good place when they met, and he wasn’t dealing with it very well. Their first meeting consisted of Kaoru approaching Souma, thinking he was a girl, then repeatedly blowing off Souma’s earnest attempts to speak with him when he realized he wasn’t, in fact, a girl. For the most part, Souma was more patient with this encounter than most people would be! But he did lose his patience by the end of it, and it set the mood for their relationship from then on.
Which is to say, things were tense-- and even violent-- between them moving forward. The thing is, Souma does explain his reasoning for how deeply irritated he is with Kaoru, and it’s not as simple as a grudge over that first meeting. What bothers him so much about Kaoru is that he’s actually a really good person, but Souma finds it difficult to trust him because he’s not genuine. He remarks that it’s beyond frustrating to deal with him because he refuses to engage in any form of serious or meaningful conversation, and that the fact that Souma can tell that he’s actually not a bad person makes it all the more infuriating to see him behave like that.
Well. If you think that’s a really flimsy reason to threaten someone, you’re right. But they’re both dealing with very, very different circumstances, and in very, very different ways. This confession comes around the time when things start to really turn around for them, because they have something in common that keeps drawing them back together: their love for the sea. In the same vein, they’re both very, very fond of Kanata, and so even at the least comfortable of times, they remain members of the Marine Biology Club together. When they focus on the things that they both enjoy, they start to find common ground in other ways. They grow to tolerate each other, and from there, to enjoy each other.
They make their introduction in !! together, where an annoyed (but markedly very calm!) Souma chastises Kaoru for stealing food without asking. Once Kaoru leaves, Souma tells the newcomers that whatever other impression they may have gotten, Kaoru is a good and reliable person, and that they shouldn’t let his antics get in the way of seeing that.
UM. WOW.
What a change from the man whose hand used to hover near the hilt of his blade when dealing with Kaoru. The biggest reason for this is because both of them improve themselves. I said multiple times already that they were both struggling with certain experiences. By this time, they’ve sorted through the worst of that, mostly separately. However, if you pay attention, there’s more than a little leadup to this. It’s not out of nowhere. If you read all of the stories where they interact, back to back, you can see a gradual but organic change where they come to appreciate one another’s company. You can imagine that there’s plenty of this that you don’t get to see, as well. Little moments off screen, and maybe some big ones, too.
I highly recommend reading Repayment Festival, wherein Kaoru spends the entire event with Souma, who is otherwise working alone. He’s supportive, and their communication is on the same page the entire time. Souma, in turn, is thankful.
The point is. They’ve worked really hard to get through to each other, and that sets the stage for a lasting and healthy relationship, where neither person is afraid to communicate their wants, needs, or feelings. There are a few stories in !! where you can see this, where any contention that crops up between them is simply a matter of difference of opinion-- and they talk it out until they reach a conclusion both of them are satisfied with.
#screams into my hands. this is the relationship model i romanticize. please talk to each other.#please compromise on the things you can't agree on and respect the things you can't compromise on.#we are all just people living our lives after all. ♥#hakazeyo#Out of Character.#Meme Response;#long post
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