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shutinthenutouse · 1 month

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ysabelmystic · 4 months

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My friends and I are rewatching a bunch of Christian films from my childhood and we completed the original Left Behind trilogy the other day. Here were my observations

I do think it's funny that the plot essentially begins with GMOs. GMOs are bad because more people being fed means world peace and globalism. That is bad.

"I'm Buck Williams and I'm standing in a wheat field" is now doomed to be repeated within my friend group for at least the next two years.

The antichrist's name is Nikolai Carpathia. He has the accent of a guy mimicking a Russian accent. This feels on par with JK Rowling naming her one Asian character "Cho Chang".

The character names also include (aside from the aforementioned antichrist and Kirk Cameron's character) Rayford Steele, Chloe, and Patty. Somehow it has the aura of a porno.

Despite the only demographic to be exclusively raptured is children under the age of 10, this fact is pretty much ignored.

Kirk Cameron's character (Buck) confronts police officers who are shooting at looters and teenagers for lacking compassion. By today's standards, this is woke propaganda.

I'm pretty sure the prior thing is to show that Buck is a good and pure soul who just needs to read a Bible to be fully redeemed because how else can you have a non-Christian protagonist in a movie like this. Or maybe this is to show that he's misguided and worldly. However, despite being a hot, sexy, prolific journalist, the movie also points out that he is a virgin.

The alleged romantic tension between Buck and pilot-not-porn-star Rayford Steele's daughter is painful to watch because Kirk Cameron will not kiss anyone other than his wife. There's a lot of awkward side hugs and leaving room for Jesus. Given that they end up getting married later, this is amusing to me.

These movies really want you to know two things: World Peace Is Bad, and Jews Are Bad. There are direct plot points specifically about converting Jewish people to Christianity so that they cannot usher in the rule of the antichrist.

I think it's really funny that, despite TV and the internet existing during the time this series takes place, the connection between the rapture prophecies/fanfics and The Fucking Rapture is only discovered by our protagonists and a handful of other random guys. I think a mass disappearance of certain branches of Christianity and children would provoke some kind of doubt and curiosity, but no. That's bad for plot. Instead, the whole world goes straight to "y'know what? Let's just get rid of all religion at once. Forever." This is because all other religions are made from faithless heathens who just really hate Christians, and since there are no longer Christians, they no longer have to Do Religion. I guess.

I also think it's funny that the main characters, though they themselves were convinced to convert because of the rapture, do not use the rapture as a means to convert the masses. They jump straight to bunker church and secret Bible brigades. When they do successfully convert others, it is either by trotting out the tired, "YOU THINK THIS WORLD WAS AN ACCIDENT???" Case for Christ nonsense, or basically threatening their victim with damnation.

Case in point, Rayford Steele talks a guy out of suicide by reminding him that he will never see his wife and child again if he goes through with it. Suicide = Straight To Hell.

There's a scene where the antichrist like... tries to "test" Rayford Steele by revealing his uber spoopy ghost face and seeing if he reacts. Because I guess the uber spoopy ghost face only works on believers. Te uber spoopy ghost face is his figure showing up in infrared, then his face stretching out cartoonishly, and his eyes turning black. This scared me as a child. It is the second funniest part of the movie.

Also, the title of the second movie being "Left Behind: Tribulation Force" is giving big "Electric Boogaloo" energy.

The antichrist reveals of the evil Global Community organization to the protagonists by handing them a piece of loose leaf printer paper with a logo that I would've made in the computer lab in 2005. This is done to the tune of sinister and dramatic music. This is the funniest part of the movie.

The third movie begins with the introduction of The President. It was previously stated that the president had been raptured. There was no mention of presidents up until this point. I know the line of succession exits but it really felt like they just forgot.

Oh yeah...the Pope was also raptured because he was secretly protestant.

Buck marries Rayford Steele's daughter at the same time Rayford Steele marries a random blonde lady. It feels weird and icky, which is furthered by the fact that the now married daughter will henceforth be referred to as "our girl" by both of these men for the rest of the movie.

We also had to stop the movie several times due most of the female cast consisting of skinny white blonde ladies. We could not tell the difference between any of them except for by their eyeliner. If she wears dark eyeliner, she's a whore.

Due to the plot involving the release of a virus that mainly only affects Christians, this film was definitely the most fun to dissect.

The virus is stored in badly CGId glowy green goo bottles, which for a series that has tried very hard to be serious, was awfully cartoony.

This movie does not give a fuck about the protagonists. This movie is about the president. I'm pretty sure this is because the protagonists, who are Christian, are no longer allowed to commit murder. The president is not a Christian, so he gets to use a gun.

The president has random warehouses to do casual interrogations in wherever and whenever he wants. It is clear that the creators were really struggling to make due with the set.

We know the antichrist is bad because he wants to take everyone's nukes. The president's main goal in this movie is to keep the nukes.

Back in the side plot, it turns out that the Christians are getting infected with green goo disease because the antichrist hid it in their Bibles. As the protagonists drown in guilt, the suspense of the plot really starts to fall apart. Their entire goal is to Get More People Into Heaven, and in this series, reading the Bible will automatically make anyone a Christian (the Bible's words cannot be resisted). If anything, they just fast-tracked a bunch of people into heaven, and they no longer have to endure the next seven years of apocalypse.

We should've all watched these movie pre-COVID. The only person who wears a mask and gloves is the antichrist. The protagonists also mention avoiding vaccines and relying on God/sacrificing themselves instead. This movie predicted 2020.

The super advanced green goo virus has an instacure antidote. Fucking red wine. This seems like a helluva lot of oversight to hand the "drinks red wine as part of religious rituals" group a virus that can be instacured by red wine.

WW3 starts. Somehow, this does not cause a nuclear winter.

The antichrist discovers that he can force-choke people.

The president suicide-bombs the antichrist's tower in order to "slow him down". Given that the antichrist cannot be killed and cell phones exist, I have no idea what exactly that was supposed to do.

As someone who grew up fully believing that Obama was the antichrist and Muslim (which is conservative for "literally a member of Al-Queda/ISIS").... and Black but they didn't say that part out loud), it was interesting in retrospect to watch this movie unfold. The president in this movie is a Black, non-Christian man who is initially for world peace, but then converts to Christianity and suicide-bombs the antichrist. We all have different interpretations of this, but we do agree that they would not have made that specific set of choices today. That said, my interpretation is the correct one /hj

#left behind #the rapture #exvangelical #fundiesnark #fundie snark #conservative christians #kirk cameron #religious right

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socialjusticeinamerica · 6 months

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#evangelical assholes #republican hypocrisy #conservative christians #right wing bullshit

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nando161mando · 3 months

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 8 months

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The editor in chief of Christianity Today is warning that evangelical Christianity is moving too far to the right, to the point that even Jesus’s teachings are considered “weak” now.

Russell Moore resigned from the Southern Baptist Convention in 2021, after years of being at odds with other evangelical leaders. Specifically, Moore openly criticized Donald Trump, whom many evangelical Christians embraced. Moore also criticized the Southern Baptist Convention’s response to a sexual abuse crisis and increasing tolerance for white nationalism in the community.

Now he thinks his religion is in crisis.

Moore told NPR in an interview released Tuesday that multiple pastors had told him they would quote the Sermon on the Mount, specifically the part that says to “turn the other cheek,” when preaching. Someone would come up after the service and ask, “Where did you get those liberal talking points?”

“What was alarming to me is that in most of these scenarios, when the pastor would say, ‘I’m literally quoting Jesus Christ,’ the response would not be, ‘I apologize.’ The response would be, ‘Yes, but that doesn’t work anymore. That’s weak,’” Moore said. “When we get to the point where the teachings of Jesus himself are seen as subversive to us, then we’re in a crisis.”

Moore said he thinks a large part of the issue is how divisive U.S. politics are, which is now spilling over into the church. He pointed to how a lot of issues are “packaged in terms of existential threat,” leading to the belief among everyone, not just evangelical Christians, that “desperate times call for desperate measures.”

It makes sense, then, that evangelical Christians would embrace Trump, who portrayed himself as the answer to many of those supposed existential threats. Trump both campaigned and governed on a largely evangelical Christian platform. He moved the U.S. Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem; he cracked down on immigration from majority-Muslim countries; and he appointed multiple conservative judges, including to the Supreme Court, which has swung sharply right.

He made good on his anti-abortion promises when the high court removed the nationwide right to the procedure in June. Many LGBTQ protections were rolled back under his watch, and during the June 2020 protests over George Floyd’s murder by police, he tear-gassed demonstrators so he could take a heavily posed picture with a Bible in front of St. John’s Church near the White House.

And as Trump swings ever further right, it makes sense that people who believe he will solve their problems will follow blindly.

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chippedtoons · 3 months

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i just know every conservative christian failed US history because if they passed theyd know one of the core values america was founded upon is the separation of church and state

#nova's posts #mk's posts #chiptoons #conservatives #conservative christians

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rickmctumbleface · 23 days

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Jesus is the inconvenient truth of conservative Christianity.

#jesus #conservative christians

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zenosanalytic · 6 months

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youtube

This is a good video for those wondering who Mike Johnson is. Also: a nice little preview of the bonkers Christian Panopticon Republicans want to force us all into.

Also Rebecca Watson's been queer-friendly feminist and atheist for, like, 20 years now. If you're looking for short(this one's 9 1/2 minutes), empirical video-essays on science, politics, and current events, you could definitely do worse than giving her channel a sub.

#Rebecca Watson #Skepchick #Video #Mike Johnson #Covenant Eyes #Republicans #Christian Nationalists #White Nationalists #Conservative Christians #US Politics #No Nut November #Video Essays #Youtube #informative reblogs #appreciative reblogs

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thecovenhouseco · 10 months

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If conservatives ever complain about Drag or Trans people, ask how many times they laughed at Big Mamma’s House, Mrs Doubtfire, Madea or White Chicks. Orrrrr Ask them why they supported Trump even after this

Or maybe ask them why they supported The Man who said “Transgenderism” needs to be eradicated even after this

Or maybe ask them about this

They’re a bunch of lying hypocrites who simply want control. Fuck the GOP.

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shutinthenutouse · 5 months

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mudwerks · 2 years

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(via Why are Conservative Christians so good at being religious hypocrites? : PoliticalHumor)

#Conservative Christians #lying hyprocrites

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kvetcher-in-the-rye · 29 days

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Ghost in the Shell Video Game

Civilians drafted into the US Military under threat of violence often refused to shoot people on the battlefield until military researchers desensitized troops to violence with simulations which the military-industrial-complex turned into the video game industry and made civilians so eager to kill that the draft is no longer needed and even protesters voluntarily surrender tax dollars for video game sales which fund the military tyranny and violence they protest against.

Inform video gamers of these facts and they still disagree, so apparently video games also cause retardation.

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nyny-213 · 3 days

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Haven’t made a post but I’ll be honest. I’m struggling severely with my mental health. I am trying to make sure I sacrifice everything I can. It’s getting too close to the world ending and too close to Jesus coming back and our deaths to be playing around with it. I don’t want to write this at all. Mostly cause I honestly don’t care. But I am because I don’t want to keep thinking I’m not as sacrificial for God and that I’m not saved. So I’ll start off.

1. Abortion is murder, that’s just the way it is. Also if you are Christian your most likely going to have a conservative view point. You aren’t going to have one or the other.

2. Jesus is the only way to heaven.

I’m sure there’s more but I honestly don’t care anymore so there’s that.

#christian #christian faith #christianity #christianblogger #abortion is murder #conservative christians #I highly doubt you can be a liberal Christian #you might be more liked as a liberal Christian but I don’t think you can be one and still be called Christian #so yea #depression #the world is ending

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nando161mando · 3 months

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 5 months

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In a keynote speech to a gathering of Christian nationalist lawmakers Tuesday night, House Speaker Mike Johnson compared himself to Moses, leading the GOP conference — and America — through the parted waters of the Red Sea.

Johnson addressed the National Association of Christian Lawmakers at the group’s award gala at the Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C. Perhaps unaware that the event was being recorded for the NACL Facebook page, Johnson told the crowd: “I’ll tell you a secret, since media is not here.” (“Thank you for not allowing the media in,” Johnson added, alleging that journalists have been taking his comments “out of context” with “great joy for the last few weeks.”)

Johnson then revealed that — in the lead up to the “tumult” of Kevin McCarthy losing his gavel and the chaotic GOP process of selecting new Speaker — he had been speaking directly to God. “Look, I’m a Southern Baptist, I don’t wanna get too spooky on you,” he said, provoking some laughter from the attendees. “But, you know, the Lord speaks to your heart.”

The message he received from God, Johnson said, was to prepare for a “Red Sea moment” — both for the Republican conference “and in the country at large.” Johnson said found the directive confusing but he continued to seek the counsel of God.

“The Lord began to wake me up, through this three-week process, in the middle of night to speak to me,” Johnson insisted. “Now at the time,” he continued, “I assumed the Lord is going to choose a new Moses.” But because of his own lesser rank among the GOP’s leadership, Johnson said, he believed the heavenly message to be: “You’re gonna allow me to be Aaron to Moses,” citing the role of the Old Testament prophet’s brother and biblical sidekick.

But then Johnson watched as candidate after candidate failed to generate the necessary Republican support to win the Speakership. “Ultimately 13 people ran for the post. And the Lord kept telling me to, ‘Wait, wait, wait,’” Johnson recalled. “So I waited, I waited. And then at the end … the Lord said, ‘Now step forward.’” Johnson regaled the audience with his surprise to be tapped as the Moses figure: “Me?” Johnson said. “I’m supposed to be Aaron.” But that was not the message, Johnson insisted, recalling: “‘No,’ the Lord said, ‘Step forward.’”

Johnson’s speech to the National Association of Christian Lawmakers — a group that seeks to enact its anti-abortion and anti-LGBTQ “biblical worldview” into law — is just the latest evidence that the politician who is now second in line for the presidency views himself as on a divine mission. Rolling Stone previously reported on Johnson’s exhortations to save a “depraved” America from God’s wrath and vengeance.

Johnson told the NACL crowd that his “core conviction” that “God wants us to seek Him for the path through the roiling sea.” The Speaker then underscored his pessimism about the state of the nation, asserting that America is facing the “greatest collection of challenges since maybe World War II, maybe the Civil War.”

America, Johnson insisted, is “engaged in a battle between worldviews” and “a great struggle for the future of the Republic.” The specifics of that struggle remained unspoken. But the NACL mission, according to materials promoting the gala, includes: “abolishing abortion”; restoring “traditional marriage between one man and one woman”; and “exposing the ungodly effort to undermine our culture by Leftists,”. Johnson added that he believed far-right Christians will prevail: “We should not be daunted. In the face of these challenges. Our hope is in the Lord, our hope, and our trust is in God.”

At the gala, Johnson was awarded with NACL’s “American Patriot Award for Christian Honor and Courage.” It was bestowed to recognize what the group’s leader, former Arkansas state Rep. Jason Rappert, described as Johnson’s “statesmanship, bold Christian leadership, and faithful service to our Lord Jesus Christ.”

#us politics #news #republicans #conservatives #alt right #conservative christians #gop #rep. Mike Johnson #National Association of Christian Lawmakers #rolling stone magazine #moses #old testament #anti abortion #Republican homophobia #2023 #radical Christianity

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bleeding-star-heart · 6 days

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A lot of the time when conservative Christians go on an anti-LGBTQ+ screed, they often talk about love in a very interesting way

Namely, they describe it as correcting someone's sin. The "sin" in this case being gay or trans. Now what's interesting isn't that they're homophobes/transphobes, but that they seem to think loving someone equals wanting to change or fix them. That is, fix them not according to the sinner's standards, but rather by their own. In any other context, this is rightly considered bunk. Only the most misogynistic people would argue that a man who wants his self-confident but small-breasted wife to get breast implants truly loves her. Ditto for the parent who stifles their child's passions in favor of a more "lucrative" potential career that said child loathes. Because ultimately forcing someone to change themselves not for their happiness/benefit but yours is incredibly selfish. When you really love someone, you want them to succeed the way they are, not the way you want them to be. That's why men and less feminine people go to watch the Barbie movie with their female relatives/friends/significant others. Why parents go to their kids' sports games even if they don't like sports/find childrens' sports boring. It may not make you happy, but it makes your loved one happy. That's what love is; inherently un-selfish. It is giving, it is tolerant, it is compassionate and understanding. None of those things are compatible with attempting to "fix" a harmless trait in someone that you personally happen to be disgusted by. The fact somehow the homophobe/transphobe thinks those two things are compatible tells us something about how they define love.

Namely, that they probably don't view love as something pure, generous, and giving. But rather, that they "love" someone only by enjoying an idealized version of that person in their head. And should this person stray from that idealized vision? At best, things become complicated. At worst, the love disappears instantly.

#philosophy #homophobia #transphobia #conservative christians #love #what is love

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