if you see this I’m taking you on a date to the planetarium then we’re going to a cat cafe and a library. best places on earth criticism isn’t taken

Are your requests still open? I was hoping for a request for a Lucifer x sinner reader where she was once in love with someone when she was alive but they betrayed her leading to her death causing her to be afraid of letting others in. She's been a resident of the hotel since the pilot, but doesn't really talk much about her feelings or past life but is convinced by Charlie who says singing helps her when she needs to get out her own emotions. So when she thinks everyone is gone for the day on one of Charlie's bonding field trips, she uses the piano in the main area to sing her heart out, not realizing Lucifer decided to stay. The song I'm thinking of is "Perfect Doesn't Last" by Beth Crowley. So when she sings it and he overhears listening and watching her he's reminded of Lilith and feels for the reader understanding her more than when they first met during his first visit to the hotel (ep 5). I'm not sure of how to end it, so if you want to add anything to it I'm totally up for it. I just thought this song would match him so well.

A/N this is my first time writing for this man. Also,, i think it’s so funny that everyone is just like “short king” even tho alastor is canonically at least seven feet tall and charlie is at least like six feet tall. that’s so silly of us.

Encore (Lucifer x Reader)

Paring: Lucifer x Reader

Warnings: Domestic abuse briefly mentioned.

Word Count: 2,169

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List

Lucifer had just wanted to visit Charlie. With their relationship on the up and up, he was eager to not give up his chance to fix things with his favorite and only daughter. However, when he arrived at the hotel, throwing the doors open in unadulterated excitement, it was to find the normally busy lobby area empty.

The door fell shut behind him and his smile slipped from his face. Carefully, he ran his eyes over every inch of the room. There really was no one to be found.

"Maybe they're just all in their rooms, yeah." he said aloud to himself, "Charlie is probably... in her office! It must take a lot of work to run a place like this. Yeah, that's what it is."

Charlie, Vaggie, and Alastor had asked her to come with them to the movies. It was supposed to be a reward, for how hard they had all been working. They had really tried their best to convince Y/n to join them but, as always was the case when activities that took them out of the hotel were not required, Y/n had declined the offer.

Y/n was still getting used to Hell in all its big scary wonder, she still hurt. Everything was so complicated and while spending time with her thoughts didn't make her feel good per-say, spending time with others had been making her feel even worse. Besides, Charlie had given her some advice a few days ago she wanted to test out and she didn't exactly feel comfortable doing that while the hotel was crawling with people.

Y/n trusted Charlie. She was the first person to have extended a kind hand in her direction since her arrival in Hell. When Charlie had found out Y/n had been a concert pianist in the living world, she was elated.

"That's perfect!" she had said, leaning across the desk towards her, "We have a piano in the Hotel's auditorium!"

"I... I don't know if I really can... perform, right now. If that's alright." Y/n had replied, wringing her hands and unable to keep eyecontact.

"What? Oh no! That's not what I meant at all. It just seems... well if you did it for a living, you must have loved it. And it seems like you always have a lot on your mind, lots of stuff to process, and I know you don't like talking to people about it and, well, music always makes me feel better. It feels freeing, like I'm getting everything bottled up inside me out when I sing."

"I... I don't think I've ever really thought about it that way." she had admitted in response, "It was just something I had always done. I started lessons when I was three."

"Well, you should try it some time." Charlie had smiled back, "Maybe it will help."

Once she was sure everyone was gone and the hotel was hers alone, Y/n had slipped quietly from the confinement of her room. It had taken her a bit to find the auditorium. When she finally did and saw the piano it held, her breath caught in her throat.

It was a beautiful old baby grand made out of a warm cherry wood that matched the hotel's theming well. The lid had creaked when she had opened it, the keys had been dusty to the touch.

It had been a long time since she'd played. With mild joy, she let her fingers run the usual scales and arpeggios, finding a comfort in the familiarity of it all. Once satisfied her fingers were all warmed up and ready to play something real, she posed them over the keys.

Lucifer had lost himself in the depths of the labyrinthine hotel. The twists and turns of the hallways were unfamiliar to him despite the tour Charlie, Vaggie, and Alastor had lead him on. His hope at finding his daughter and spending some time with her had long since flickered out. He was on the verge of going home, his hand half raised to open a portal, when he heard it.

A faint echo of music flooded the hallway and Lucifer froze. It was haunting and distant, it drew him in. His sights set on a new sort of entertainment for the afternoon, he listened carefully and began to follow the sound.

As he got closer to its source, Lucifer realized that who ever was making the music was not just playing the piano but singing. Their voice was soft and lovely, nearly ethereal in its sheer humanity and anguish.

I would have bet on us

We were untouchable, you and I

I couldn't get enough

It was a fairytale come to life

Lucifer at last reached the half open door to the room the music appeared to be coming from. Not wanting to disturb the artist just yet, he transformed into a snake and slithered his way silently into the room. There, sitting at the piano on the stage, was Y/n.

I had your heart

At least that's what I thought

Now I'm second guessing every moment

Wondering where we went so wrong

He didn't really know much about Y/n except that she was new to Hell. Charlie had mentioned off hand that she had died in an incident of domestic abuse. Lucifer had no idea why she had ended up in Hell or what she was really like. When he had visited the hotel the first time, Y/n had been quiet and reserved. She had stood to the side and watched, barley even introducing herself to him.

At first, he had thought it to be disrespect. Not every demon in Hell was his biggest fan after all and while he was used to it, it still stung that even one of his daughters would be reformed sinners would be blatantly rude to him. He had quickly realized however from her flittering eyes and the way she clutched at herself that it wasn't disrespect at all. Y/n had been nervous.

Of course, Lucifer had made an attempt to make her feel more comfortable but, when he had extended his metaphorical hand, Y/n had just closed herself off even further. According to Charlie and Angel Dust, that was just what the demoness was like. She was shy.

You got inside my head

Taking up every inch of space

'Til there was no room left

Her hands flew across the keys with a practiced grace. Lucifer felt she knew he was there, watching. He felt that she just might be performing for him.

So many parts of me erased

You had my heart

And tossed it in the dirt

As he listened to the words she sung, they resonated with him. For a split second, he could have sworn it was Lilith sitting there at the piano, not Y/n. He shut his eyes, shaking his head slightly. He was oddly grateful when he opened them again to find it had just been his imagination.

Now that was a first. Since Lilith had disappeared seven years ago, Lucifer had been a mess. Lucifer was always a mess but, Lilith leaving like that really did him in. She had been his rock, his guiding light, his everything. He had risked everything for her and he had lost. At least, back in the old days, he had gained something out of the chaos. A daughter, a wife, a world to try and shape. One after another, they were all taken from him. Even now, even with their relationship improving the way it was, he felt Charlie slipping away again.

Now I'm second guessing every moment

Wondering where we went so wrong

I just keep asking

Would this have been worth it if I knew the ending all along.

Without really thinking about it, Lucifer retook his normal form and sat down in one of the auditorium's front row seats. Thankfully, Y/n was too wrapped up in her own world to notice and she just continued to play.

What started so perfect was over too fast

I should have seen the warning signs

'Cause perfect doesn't last

Perfect doesn't last

Light shined off her face, that was how Lucifer had realized she was crying. Despite the tears, her voice never wavered. A performer at her core, just like him.

I would have bet on us

We were untouchable, you and I

As the last lingering notes echoed through the room, he began to clap. Y/n jumped at the noise, turning to face him with wide eyes and cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. Lucifer was undeterred and, getting to his feet, gave her a standing ovation. After a few moments, he ceased in his applause.

"That was beautiful." he said, breaking the new silence that had fallen between them.

"Um, I'm sorry." Y/n's gaze fell back to the piano.

"No! No no no!" Lucifer exclaimed, jumping up onto the stage.

He kneeled before her, lifting her hands from her lap and taking them in his own. She turned to him, surprise drawing out the features of her face once again.

"Don't apologize for taking up space."

"I... I just didn't mean to disturb you is all. If you're looking for Charlie, she's out at the movies with everyone else."

"I was but, I can talk to her later, when she gets back. You didn't disturb me at all, Y/n. As I said, it was beautiful. It was..."

He trailed off, the smile slipping from his face.

"Oh fuck!" Y/n exclaimed, "I didn't mean to upset you! I'm really sorry, what can I do to make it better?"

"You didn't upset me." Lucifer shook his head, "You just... somehow managed to put words to the very things I've been struggling with the past couple years."

A smaller, much kinder and more genuine smile made its way onto his face.

"If you'd like to play more, I'd love to hear it."

Y/n's cheeks flushed red again.

"Theres no pressure." Lucifer shrugged, "Just giving you the option."

"An audience of one... well, it's a little intimidating." she admitted bashfully, "I'm used to the faceless mob of the crowd."

"I can see why. You have an undeniable gift."

"I guess... I don't know. Charlie just said it might help me process stuff. To play again, I mean."

"Was she right?"

Y/n paused in thought for a moment before nodding slowly.

"I think she might have been. My chest does feel a little lighter now."

"Then play."

"Um, mister... king of Hell? Sir?"

Lucifer laughed.

"You can just call me by my name. No formalities necessary. 'Mister king of Hell sir' was my fathers name."

Y/n laughed lightly at his terrible joke. The sound sparked a sudden joy in Lucifer's chest, one he hadn't felt in quite a long time.

"Well, Lucifer." she began again, stumbling a bit over his name.

"Yes?"

"I'll... um, I'll need my hands back. If I'm to keep playing."

"Wh..."

He looked down and his eyes widened. Lucifer hadn't realized he had still held her hands in his. Immediately he dropped them, getting to his feet and looking away in mild embarrassment.

"Sorry, about that."

"Don't apologize for existing." Y/n parroted his earlier words.

When he turned back to her, it was to find she was smiling slightly.

"How bad would it be if I said sorry again right now?"

"You'd be sounding like me."

"Lets make a deal then: no sorries unless something is actually wrong."

"What if I can't tell if your mad at me or not?"

Lucifer looked down at the seated demon. In not one of his wildest dreams could he ever imagine being mad at her but, that wasn't exactly something he could say.

"Then you can always ask."

"And you promise you wont lie to me?"

"I promise."

"Promise promise?"

"Yes!"

She eyed him suspiciously for a moment before nodding her head. Turning back to the piano, her hands found their place on the keys once again. She hesitated.

"I..." Y/n shot Lucifer a look over her shoulder, "Thank you."

"Thank you. There is some solace in knowing someone else out there feels the same way I do, if for different reasons."

"Yeah. There is, isn't there? Maybe part of our deal can be helping each other figure that all out too."

The suggestion had been half thought out. Y/n hadn't really meant to give it a voice, it had escaped her locked lips. She quickly turned back to the piano.

"Sorry. That was dumb."

"What did we just say about sorries!" Lucifer exclaimed, "No apologizing for existing. I think that suggestion sounds rather nice."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay. I... I'm actually going to play now. Is that okay?"

With a snap of his fingers, Lucifer reappeared in the seat he had previously inhabited. He crossed his legs, resting his hands on his knee.

"Whenever your ready."

----

Song is Perfect Doesn't Last by Beth Crowley as requested :)

74, 34 and 78 from the "make me admit stuff" list! I'd love to know what Ethan and Sawyer are reading/listening to <33

Hi Mads!🤗

Make Me Admit Stuff

I'm going to answer from my current timeframe which is a couple weeks after the attack. For a bit of context, I have this whole back story where Sawyer ran away to San Diego a few days after the funeral. She eventually reaches out and Ethan flies to CA to be with her.

#74 What is your favorite book?

Ethan: "Mine."

Sawyer: "I can't tell if you're joking or not."

Ethan: "I'm not. But I do also enjoy the author, Dr. Robin Cook. He writes medical thrillers. If I had to pick a favorite, it would be Chromosome 6."

Ethan: "And you, Rookie?"

Sawyer: "Yours."

Ethan rolls his eyes.

Sawyer: "I'm serious. I wasn't lying when I said that I'm your biggest fan."

#34 Listening to?

Ethan: "Josh Groban."

Sawyer: "To be honest, I had Gone by Charli XCX and Christine and the Queens on replay for the past couple weeks. I was in a bad place. But now that Ethan's here, I've gotten on the Josh Groban bandwagon. There's something so soothing about his voice. On the good days, I've been listening to new stuff from LANY and Lauv. I have a few favorites from Jane and the Boy too."

#78 Who would you like to see in concert?

Ethan: "Believe it or not, I've never seen Placido Domingo perform live."

Sawyer: "You need to cross that off your bucket list soon. He's getting up there."

Ethan: "So are the Back Sync Kids."

Sawyer: "Ha. Ha. I've already crossed those ones off my list. Hmm... Oh, I know! Conor Maynard. His voice is incredible. I'd love to hear him live in concert someday."

Weekly Press Briefing #58: July 30th - August 5th, 2023

Welcome back to the Weekly Press Briefing, where we bring you highlights from The West Wing fandom each week, including new fics, ongoing challenges, and more! This briefing covers all things posted from July 30 - August 5, 2023! Did we miss something? Let us know; you can find our contact info at the bottom of this briefing! 

Challenges/Prompts:

No current open challenges/prompts that we are aware of. Do you have a challenge or event you’d like us to promote or know of one we are missing? Be sure to get in touch with us! Contact info is at the bottom of this briefing.

Photos/Videos:

Here’s what was posted from July 30 - August 5. 

Allison Janney posted in memory of the late Paul Reubens. 

Amy Landecker posted a photo of herself with Brad, her mom, and her stepdad Charles Rudell in honor of his birthday. 

Dule Hill posted photos from the Tears for Fears concert. 

Marlee Matlin posted a photo of herself and her late mother in honor of her mom’s birthday. 

Marlee Matlin posted a photo of herself reuniting with several of her childhood friends. 

Peter James Smith posted a photo of the ongoing SAG-AFTRA and WGA strike pickets.

Rob Lowe posted photos of his puppy. 

Donna Moss Daily: July 30 | July 31 | August 1 | August 2 | August 3 | August 4 | August 5

Daily Josh Lyman: July 30 | July 31 | August 1 | August 2 | August 3 | August 4 | August 5

No Context BWhit: July 30 | July 31 | August 1 | August 2 | August 3 | August 4 | August 5

@twwarchive: July 30 | July 31 | August 1 | August 2 | August 3 | August 4 | August 5

Edits/Artwork:

#AMYGARDNER: “i beg your pardon, ma’am?” by @kennysroys [VIDEO EDIT]

Miscellaneous:

Happy birthday (on August 3) to Martin Sheen! Twitter users @dmosslyman and @mossxlyman also celebrated their birthdays this week!

Editors’ Choice: 

In honor of Martin Sheen’s birthday earlier this week, we’re serving up some fics about our favorite President, President Dad himself, Jed Bartlet.

Dear Abbey by gutsandglitter | Not Rated | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | Complete | Set during 1.4 when Jed is high on painkillers. Charlie drags him back to the residence to place him under Abbey's care. Wait For Me by imperfectirises | Rated M | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | In Progress | In the summer of 1965, Abbey Barrington meets a young man who changes the course of her life. A prequel story about Jed and Abbey Bartlet. How Do You Like Your Blue-Eyed Boy, Mr. Death? by Nomad (nomadicwriter) for imperfectcircle | Rated G | Gen Fic (No Pairings LIsted) | Complete | Death comes for Josiah Bartlet. No One Will Hit You (And You'll Never Learn) by althusserarien (ArmchairElvis) | Rated T | Jed Bartlet/Leo McGarry | Complete | Leo and Jed are both the children of cowards. Bartlet's relationship with Leo, his father and Mrs. Landingham. Set pre-series and during Two Cathedrals. northern downpour sends its love by rearviewmirror for crossingdelancey | Rated T | Jed Bartlet/Leo McGarry | Complete | football games, sharing cigarettes, and torrential rainstorms So It Goes by Nomad (nomadicwriter) | Rated G | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | Complete | Jed Bartlet. Abigail Barrington. 1967.

Stay tuned for a reblog with this week's fics!!

Amiri Baraka’s Life-Changing Jazz Writing

By Richard Brody

January 14, 2014

I owe the late Amiri Baraka an apology, and I wish that he were here for me to tell him. A few years ago, posting about the ten books about movies that changed my life, I added a few books that aren’t about movies but that changed the way I thought about them. But I neglected to place on that list the book that, long before I had any interest in movies, definitively set for me the template for critical writing and engagement: Baraka’s book “Black Music,” a collection of his essays about modern jazz that were written between 1959 and 1967 (and that he published as LeRoi Jones).

For me, jazz started with the moderns—with “Out There,” a record by one crucial, short-lived modern, Eric Dolphy. That enthusiasm quickly engendered others. Thanks to liner notes to these records, which mentioned like-minded musicians, I started listening to John Coltrane, Thelonious Monk, Ornette Coleman, Cecil Taylor, Albert Ayler, Sun Ra, Archie Shepp, and the musicians in their circles—and Baraka was my Virgil, my guide into the nuances of the music that obsessed me. He wrote the greatest liner notes I knew, for the thrilling live album “The New Wave in Jazz,” which I listened to with wild veneration long before I had even heard of a New Wave in movies. (Those notes are included in the book, and Baraka organized the concert that he annotated there.)

In “Black Music,” Baraka wrote with ecstasy—highly informed and intricate—about ecstatically complex music. He also revealed literary and philosophical substance in it that gave form to my inchoate experience. I learned a lot about musical form and its affect from Baraka, as when he wrote, of John Coltrane, “Not only does one seem to hear each note and sub-tone of a chord being played, but also each one of those notes shattered into half and quarter tones,” and, also, “It is like a painter who instead of painting a simple white, paints all the elemental pigments that the white contains, at the same time as the white itself.” Baraka could discuss Coltrane’s most famous recording with sophisticated love and then add, “The frighteningly limited scale of ‘My Favorite Things’ is Ancient Musik to Coleman and Taylor.” He wrote with a wide-ranging erudition, tracing influences within the history of jazz and comparing them with the lineages of other art forms. And he tossed off phrases that distilled music into lyrical language, as when he said, of the alto saxophonist John Tchicai, that “his phrasing at times reminds one of Mondrian’s geometrical decisions,” and described his playing as a “metal poem.”

The chapters in “Black Music” are occasional pieces—magazine articles and liner notes, written under the pressure of circumstances and tied to the moment—and the immediacy of experience comes through as a central part of the music itself. Baraka spent lots of time listening to live music, in clubs uptown and downtown and in the new scene of coffeehouse and loft concerts, which began in the sixties. (In the seventies, I savored the big boom of these venues and lamented their flameout.) His report on Thelonious Monk detailed the musician’s epochal six-month run with John Coltrane at the Five Spot, in 1957, and his return to the club with a new quartet featuring Charlie Rouse. His profile of the drummer Roy Haynes (who is still performing, at the age of eighty-eight) is deep with the daily cares of music-making—earning a living, dealing with the press and the public, fighting traffic to arrive on time for a gig—and with the rise of an original musical voice within a tradition and, for that matter, a career.

The life at the core of the book, which runs like a through-line from beginning to end, is the one that’s encapsulated in the very title, and it was a life that was very different from my own. Growing up nearly color-blind in nearly all-white neighborhoods, I thought of the blackness of the musicians I loved as an interesting coincidence; Baraka taught me that the music emerged from the specific experiences of blacks in America. He opens the book with the essay “Jazz and the White Critic,” which begins, “Most jazz critics have been white Americans, but most important jazz musicians have not been.” He specifically blamed the white critic—and, I understood, the white listener, such as myself—for the

Of course, when I read Dostoyevsky, Rousseau, and Plato, I knew that I was also reading books that arose from experiences utterly alien to mine—but the czar, the king, and the jury faced in those books were equally alien to me, whereas, when it came to black American life, my own implication in the conflict was inescapable. By virtue of my birth, I was on the wrong side of that fight, and yet it seemed utterly normal to me, as a white middle-class fifteen-year-old, who felt oppressed by the very comforts for which his parents struggled and by the proprieties they taught, to identify with the struggle and with the music’s spirit of liberation. Free jazz was, for me, more rock and roll than rock and roll, the ultimate headbanger music that brought philosophy to the spirit of anarchy and deep loam to the prefab rootlessness of the postwar suburb. Yet what I sought liberation from was also an inescapable part of myself, which is why Baraka’s sublime concluding flourish in the notes to “The New Wave in Jazz” spoke deeply to me: “New Black Music is this: Find the self, then kill it.” The notion seemed a most self-assertive self-abnegation, a step toward creating another, more desirable self—which was pretty much what I had in mind.

Baraka wrote early on about the power of popular black music—of Dionne Warwick, Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, and, especially, James Brown—and his vision, from 1966, of “The Rhythm and Blues mind blowing evolution of James-Ra and Sun-Brown” was utterly prescient of musical history and of my own pleasures, forecasting the plugging in and amping up of Miles Davis, most famously with “Bitches Brew.” (I listened most often to his recording “In Concert” made during a show at the Philharmonic.) Above all, Baraka—who, of course, was a poet—wrote criticism like a poet; the arm’s-length didactic authority of journalistic discourse was not for him. He was a bardic theorist who gave a musical language to music, artistic language to the experience of art.

Then came the lyric. One of the records he recommended in the brief discography at the end of his book was one of the few that featured the elusive Tchicai: an LP of the New York Art Quartet in which the saxophonist was joined by the trombonist Roswell Rudd, the bassist Lewis Worrell, and the percussionist Milford Graves, along with, on one track, Baraka himself (who, I think, was identified on the cover as Jones), reciting his poem “Black Dada Nihilismus” to accompaniment by Worrell and Graves.

His even-toned, urgent incantations got my attention as a kind of spoken-word music, but the words got my attention, too. When he referred to “the ugly silent deaths of Jews under the surgeon’s knife, to awake on Sixty-ninth Street with money and a hip nose”—well, these were my suburbs he was talking about, the nose jobs that were common coin in our realm, the money that, having not earned it, I could easily disdain. It echoed a line from “Portnoy’s Complaint”: “Ma, you want to see physical violence done to the Jews of Newark, go to the office of the plastic surgeon where the girls get their noses fixed.”

The lyrical force of his meditations was punctuated by the line “Rape the white girls, rape their fathers, cut the mothers’ throats.” The slogan of the quartet’s record label, ESP-Disk—“You Never Heard Such Sounds in Your Life”—was never more truthful. I hadn’t read (or, for that matter, looked for) discussions of these lines in the wider press. I got why they seemed unexceptionable: not for a moment did I think that Baraka was advocating such actions, not even when, toward the end, he speaks of “the murders we intend”; I was certain that he was speaking metaphorically, looking for the strongest possible image to signify the radical changes that the woeful state of American race relations demanded, the rage arising from unredressed injustice. Whether he hoped for such things was beside the point; it was enough that he could imagine them for something to silently shatter within me—the naïve belief that identities were infinitely malleable, experiences infinitely transmissible, philosophies infinitely reconcilable. There were uglinesses out there that I couldn’t fathom, not even by reading about them; in their horror I sensed, above all, a documentary element—in the lives of those who made the music I loved, there was experience that went far beyond my pleasures, my desires, my imaginings, and it wasn’t necessarily experience I wanted to have, experience of a cold and hard world out there and an agonized world within. Virgil did guide Dante, even to the last ring of Hell.

Photograph: Serge Cohen/Cosmos/Redux

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

Book Review

I was initially very leary of this book when I saw the amount of tinhatting and shipping early on, it makes me uncomfortable when I see this and I was really close to DNF'ing the book. I do think Oseman tackled both sides of fandom extraordinarily well and I recommend it for anyone who has nursed a celebrity crush. She had an excellent balance of perspective - from the band via Jimmy's POV, who is just confused, and extremely terrified, by all the adoration, to Rowan's general distaste for how intrusive fans can be and how they have wrecked his actual relationship. Jimmy and Rowan  are "Jowan," the couple fans ship and are convinced EVERYTHING comes back to this secret relationship. And then there is Lister, my favorite of the band, who is just kind of along for the ride and happy to be there. But no one in the band is what they seem!! I loved this band, their interactions were sweet, playful, and I wanted to give them all a hug.

And then there is Angel (Fereshteh), their 18-year-old fan, who travels to London to meet her online best friend, Juliet, for the first time. Together, they plan a whirlwind week of fan parties, a meet and greet, and the concert. And then it all goes wrong.The book only takes place over a few days and I was left with a bit of a rushed ending. I could definitely return to this friend group for a sequel. I won't give spoilers but I need more closure for Jimmy, Angel, and Lister. All of the characters make mistakes, no one is perfect, and even when I was yeling at them I still loved this group. This is now my favorite full-length novel by Oseman and the characters are up there with Nick and Charlie (Heartstopper). Bliss Lai, Juliet's grandma, and Grandpa Ricci win all the stars for supporting characters and bringing a little bit of wisdom.

The mental health rep is well done, but the anxiety, depression, and panic attack moments are written so well they were triggering, also for claustrophobia, fan violence, I had to put the book down multiple times and remind myself it's just a book! But I absolutely loved this one and see if on my Best of the Best list at the end of the year.

artist ask babey!!😌🤙 the smiths, charli xcx, LANA DEL REY. i could do more. we shall see

CAITLYN YOU MADE THIS SO HARD FOR ME.... thank u but also i hate you 😤 sorry this is so long i just have a lot of thoughts and i don’t know how to shut up. i told you this was going to be a novel and here it is. writers doing nanowrimo wish they were me.

THE SMITHS.... one time i mentioned that i listened to them to one of my art teachers & he asked me what my favorite songs by them were & i completely blanked. it still haunts me to this day but i’m stronger now and i will not make that mistake again

1. back to the old house

this song has everything. the depression. the softness the yearning. ALSO these lyrics...

and you never knew / how much I really liked you / because I never even told you

2. the headmaster ritual

this is the song i listen to when i’m depressed, angry, and considering dropping out of school.

i want to go home / i don't want to stay / give up education / as a bad mistake

belligerent ghouls / run manchester schools / spineless bastards all

this line makes me think of my vid prod teacher 😊😤

3. still ill

had to stop myself from copy pasting all of the lyrics from this one. i also have it on my adam playlist SO.

england is mine, it owes me a living / but ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

what can i say... i just like the rage and entitlement of this

but we cannot cling to the old dreams anymore / no, we cannot cling to those dreams

no thoughts head empty. i think i like it because it reminds me of that line from ribs by lorde.

does the body rule the mind / or does the mind rule the body? / i dunno

this is so adam core. will not explain any further

4. this charming man

BASIC I KNOW but it was the first song i ever listened to by them (i found it on a gansey playlist on 8tracks back in middle school😔🤟) don’t have any favorite lyrics from this one but the opening is ICONIC.

5. well i wonder

this one.... is SO emo but that’s okay... also the way he sings these lyrics... TOO MUCH 4 me

gasping - dying - but somehow still alive / this is the final stand of all I am / please keep me in mind

honorable mentions are there is a light that never goes out, the boy with the thorn in his side, never had no one ever, cemetery gates, and I WANT THE ONE I CANT HAVE because i’m THAT indecisive

miss Charli XCX... i’m going to be real i don’t listen to her much but when i do i am DOWN TO CLOWN.

1. vroom vroom

i have a playlist called “music to get into a car crash to” and this is the only song on it.

lavender lamborghini, roll up in a blue bikini /bitches on the beaches, lookin' super cute and freaky

Ugh the vibes of this 😩 wish my friends and i could pull this look off

bitches know they can't catch me / (vroom vroom) cute, sexy and my ride's sporty

used this for as a caption for that one tdt drawing i did & i have no regrets. this really embodies the vibes of any scene where ronan & kavinsky are racing.

beep beep, so let's ride

i just think the sound effects are funny

bubblegum-pink ferrari, yeah, I'm so bossy

these are the vibes i would like to embody but never will. also i think barbie & elle woods gave me a primal respect and desire for a pink car.

2. dreamer

nothing to say abt this one except that all i can think abt when i listen to it is that one maggie steifvater copying charli xcx meme. also it’s an absolute banger and one of the songs i blast when i’m going unhinged but in a sexy thot type of way

3. boom clap

this song changed my life when i first heard it on the tfios soundtrack. not that deep but does music have to be? no.

first kiss just like a drug /under your influence / you take me over you're the magic in my veins/ this must be love

boom clap / the sound of my heart / the beat goes on and on and on and on and

HER MIND WHEN SHE WROTE THIS... pop music peaked with this song

LANA. i like listening 2 her music in the winter because the summer depression vibes cancel out seasonal depression like pemdas. she was litchrally my spotify artist of the decade which is so baffling because i don’t feel like i listen to her that much. ALSO every few months i get sucked into a hole of watching concert vids on instagram & it ruins my life.

1. salvatore

the vocals in this... she truly has the range.

I adore you, can't you see, you're meant for me?

catch me if you can / working on my tan / salvatore / dying by the hand / of a foreign man / happily / calling out my name / in the summer rain / ciao amore /salvatore can wait / now it's time to eat / soft ice cream

all of her ooohing and aaahing is great but THIS PART is so sexy. also i almost made a post comparing “dying by the hand of a foreign man happily” & “the choice was death or hurting adam which wasn’t much of a choice at all” but i figured it was too much

2. video games

basic but it’s a classic. also the radical face cover re-ignited my love for this song.

i say you the bestest / lean in for a big kiss put his favorite perfume on / go play your video game

there’s a video of her singing this live where she’s on a swing and she waves her hand when she says “go play your video game” and i think about it every single day

he holds me in his big arms / drunk and i am seeing stars / this is all i think of

this part makes me want to be held 😪

it's you, it's you, it's all for you / everything i do / i tell you all the time / heaven is a place on earth with you

honestly so romantic. what else can i say

3. off to the races

this is my favorite to see live videos of.. the little dance she does to it has me feeling some type of way 🥺😪 one of the classics. lana slapping the roof of this song like “this baby can fit to much daddy kink, drugs, and sex in it”

swimming pool / glimmering darling /white bikini off with my red nail polish

my old man is, a tough man / but he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam / and he shows me, he knows me, every inch of my tar black soul

the imagery of this... UGH

4. california

THIS ENTIRE SONG IS TOO GOOD. i don’t even know what to say abt it except that lana really went off with nfr

you don't ever have to be stronger than you really are / when you're lying in my arms, baby / you don't ever have to go faster than your fastest pace

you're scared to win, scared to lose / i've heard the war was over if you really choose

5. old money

this one makes me cry the hardest out of all her songs because it’s so sad and desperate

blue hydrangea, cold cash divine / cashmere, cologne and white sunshine / red racing cars, sunset and vine / the kids were young and pretty

once again the imagery in her songs is UNPARALLELED.

the power of youth is on my mind

this makes me think abt that lorde quote abt how teenagers sparkle or whatever

and if you call i'll run, run, run / if you change your mind, i’ll come, come, come

bonus: music to watch boys to

SORRY i needed to put this one on here. this one should be near the top but i completely forgot abt it until it came on shuffle play & i don’t feel like renumbering the entire list. this one truly is a ronan song i don’t make the rules (the music to watch boys to is the murder squash song). once again it’s the imagery of it all that gets to me.

i like you a lot / putting on my music while I'm watching the boys / so I do what you want

live to love you / and i love to love you / and I live to love you, boy

nothing gold can stay / like love or lemonade / or sun or summer days / it's all a game to me anyway

diet mountain dew didn’t make it onto this list but i have 2 pairs of heart shaped sunglasses because of it so it has a special place in my heart... lanas impact

other honerable mentions are the greatest, fuck it i love you, venice bitch, dark paradise, BURNING DESIRE and cherry because it’s the only good song on lust for life

Family Found Part 26: Missing

Survivor Series creeps closer, but Y/N is trying her best to keep the peace until the night of the PPV. Several parties are focused on making her job miserable and unexpected.

Warnings/Promises: wrestling violence

Word Count: 4060

Note: It’s a fun week! Super short match descriptions because there’s a lot of them and a lot more to get through. Requests and tag lists open as always. Feedback super appreciated when given. Enjoy!

Part 1: Welcome to the Team

Part 25: Trick or Treat (Evolution)

Monday Night Raw – November 5, 2018

You didn’t retaliate on Smackdown for their attempted invasion of Raw. Instead, a week later you were watching the recap of last Tuesday’s show in your office. Carmella and Asuka were to be part of the women’s team, and then Rusev on the men’s. You were just finishing watching Andrade Cien Almas beat the Miz for a team spot when Baron Corbin walked it.

“What, you didn’t watch it live last week?” he mocked. “Startin’ out as a model GM, Y/N.”

With a chuckle, you turned off the video. “I did actually. Then wanted to rewatch it while I set up the matches for tonight. By the end of Raw, both teams will have all their members and then we can start work finding the captain among them.” You sighed as Baron smugly shifted the Intercontinental title on his shoulder. “Did you want something, Baron?”

“Yeah. I know I’ve got a spot against the US Champ, Shinsuke Nakamura at Survivor Series, but I want to be that fightin’ champion everybody kept harping on. Do I have your permission to host an open challenge, oh great general manager of Raw?” He gave you a mock bow.

“Permission granted. Is right now alright with his majesty?”

He growled but nodded. “Now is great. Thanks.”

Baron Corbin leaving your office was turning into your favorite thing.

***

The open challenge was answered faster than Baron could offer it. He smirked at the stage as Seth Rollins answered the call and rushed down to the ring. They were locked in a close assault before the bell rang.

Seth was the first to lose ground. He found himself backed into a corner where Baron could attack his ribs several times before the ref’s five-count. Once they were separated, he was able to gain enough of a momentum and upper hand to have Baron scrambling to stay away from him in the ring. And out of it, though never for long as the champ played ‘keep-away’ with his own body.  

It was a mistake to toss Baron towards the floor so close to a ring post. He swung back in and started punching at Seth from behind, taking back his own upper hand. He was the first to try for a series of pins, each one jumping closer to a three-count than the last. He was about to spin Seth in a Deep Six when the ref was pulled out of the ring. For several seconds, Baron waited for him to start the count before he noticed he was missing.

On the floor, Elias was debating with the ref about some trivial rule. The ref continuously tried to send him away and get back into the ring, but Elias was persistent. He was persistent long enough for Seth to catch his breath and wobble to his feet. When he noticed, he let the ref go with a thank you and stepped away from the ring.

Baron turned just in time to take a kick to the stomach, and then the canvas raced towards his face as a boot caught the back of his neck in a curb stomp. He was too addled and curled up to hear or see the count, and kicked out a second too late.

Once again, Seth was the Intercontinental Champion, and he was conflicted about the fact that Elias had helped him win. He escaped the ring before Baron could retaliate, and left for the locker room to think it over.

***

Backstage, Charly Caruso caught up with Elias. “Can you tell us why you helped Seth Rollins win the title match?”

He stopped. And smiled. “I’ve beaten Seth before. And I can do it again. I know what my strengths are, and I know when to give up on ever wanting a fair match with Baron.”

“You don’t think it’s a little… hypocritical to cost Baron the match and the title this way?”

Elias scrunched his brow. “Why, yes.” He waved away the obvious statement and continued with more truths. “I’ll have my title back soon. Because for all of Seth’s talk, he’s not willing to risk absolutely everything for the gold. He’s done too much of that already.”

***

The two following matches were for the next positions on Team Raw. The first was Ember Moon versus Mickie James. Ember was still running on her high from Evolution and was using it well except for one thing. Mickie was still running hot from her loss at Evolution.

They fought hard, but quick. Neither wanted a long, drawn-out fight for something each woman assumed was her right. Mickie for her time in the WWE, and Ember for winning the royal last week. The ref had to do his best to stay out of their way as they rushed around the ring, cornering each other and springing off the ropes. You would have been pleased to have either woman on the team. When it came down to the end, the high of an Evolution win outweighed the loss, and Ember claimed her spot with a Total Eclipse.

The second was between Mojo Rawley and Bobby Roode. They too wanted a quick match. Mojo had been fingertips away from several title opportunities and hoped that helping the men’s team win at Survivor Series would give him another one. Bobby, on the other hand, wanted the team spot for its own prestige. He’d been part of the team last year for Smackdown and wanted a double set.

It was power at full throttle down to the last seconds. Mojo had Bobby in his sights and smiled as his opponent straggled around. But it was a ruse. Bobby twisted at the last second and used a deep angle of leverage to keep Mojo’s shoulders against the canvas. He tried to show some sportsmanship by offering to help Mojo to his feet. Mojo refused in favor of rolling out of the ring and walking away on his own two feet.

***

Dr. M and Braun took their position by the backstage screen to watch the next match. It was the second and final triple-threat to determine who they would face next week for the tag team titles. At another screen, Drake Maverick and the Authors of Pain, last week’s winners, also watched the Ascension, then Titus World Wide, and finally the Revival make their way to the ring.

It was a different dichotomy of teams. All three teams had strong power tactics that worked best with quick tag exchanges. This backfired when everybody was doing the same thing as it was difficult to tire one another out. Titus thought he noticed first. He sent Apollo to trip up Konnor but missed seeing both members of the Revival entering the ring.

They quickly took control of the ring. Titus’s plan helped them by making sure Viktor had no one to tag, and also kept Apollo on the wrong side of the ring. They each pinned a man, even if only Dash Wilder was legal. Scott Dawson rushed the ref to lift their arms in victory, then rushed his partner out of the ring before the other two angry teams could recover.

***

When the show came back from commercial, Elias was awaiting his opponent for the Raw elimination team spot having given the crowd a quick private concert. Going by the surge in the arena’s Wi-Fi usage, it was going to be a viral hit. He cocked his head with a confused smile as Curt Hawkins’s music hit.

“I know what all of you are thinking,” he stated. “Curt Hawkins hasn’t won a match in forever, why should we trust him to be on the team? I’m glad you asked. I’ll tell you why. I’m going to be on the Raw Survivor Series team because the streak ends tonight when I pin Elias. And luckily for you, he was so nervous about our match that he cut his concert short. You’re welcome.”

Elias growled. If he had his way, this was going to be a short match.

Unfortunately for Curt, he did. That last little jab had irritated Elias enough that he did every debilitating move he knew. Before long, Curt was gasping for breath and crawling back into the ropes for a reprieve. He tumbled out an apology, but Elias ignored him and pulled him back into the ring. A halo powerbomb later, Elias had the team spot and Curt had another tally for his lost matches.

Jinder entered immediately afterward, flanked by Sunil and Samir Singh. He congratulated Elias on his way out of the ring. The Singhs helped Curt roll out of the other side of the ring so that it would be clear for Jinder’s entrance. Elias watched, bemused, then started to leave as Chad Gable’s music it. He eagerly went through his opening moves but was sent crashing forward.

Behind him, Baron stood to his full height and stared Elias down. They gave each other a wide birth, then went their opposite ways, which included Baron to the ring to take Chad’s place in the match.

Despite already having a match earlier in the night, Baron had Jinder on the offensive for most of the match. If he wasn’t going to be a manager, and wasn’t going to Survivor Series as a champion, then he was going to do everything he could to get into the PPV. Beating Jinder was his best chance. But Jinder had the Singhs, and they wanted to back up the man they thought deserved the spot more. For every advance he made, the brothers were there at the ropes to distract him. But it was always in view of the ref. They weren’t going to hit him. That would give Baron the spot. Their distractions almost cost Baron the match several times as Jinder used them to his advantage.

Still, despite the exhaustion and the handicap, Baron won. He smirked as he left the arena having successfully stolen his position at Survivor Series.

***

“Come in,” you said to the knocking at your door. You instantly regretted it. “What do you want, Dolph?”

He strutted into the room. “I have a proposition for you. I’ve already run it by Finn Balor, and he was agreed. I want a match with him tonight. It’s not a title match, but if I win, I get to be in the match against AJ Styles at Survivor Series.” He smiled brightly and shrugged with the self-brilliance of his plan.

You were not convinced. “What do you gain by being in that match? You can’t win both titles because the heavy-weight title belongs to Smackdown. Being in the match is going to change that-“

“I know, I know-“

“And it would be uneven. Paige and Shane would want to find someone from their roster to make it even.”

“That’s fine. Hey,” he nudged at you, “maybe Sheamus will take up that challenge.”

It took considerable effort not to react. “Do you have a point to being in this match, or is it just your usual ego?”

He held his hands up in defense and took a step back. “Here’s the thing, if I win tonight and help Finn at Survivor Series, he’s agreed to give me a title opportunity. A pre-selected open challenge. Call him, if you don’t believe me.”

You squinted at him. “Why would he need help with Styles? I have full confidence that Finn could beat him as he is.”

“You might have that confidence, but does Finn? He is going as a human after all.” He waited on bated breath.

Despite your better judgment, you agreed to the match and hoped it wasn’t a great con. “Fine. But I still don’t think you need to get involved. I’ll let Finn know about this match. You… do whatever it is you do before a match.”

***

Before the main event, there were still two matches to find out the last two women members of the Raw team. Up first was Alicia Fox versus Alexa Bliss. They started by smiling at each other good-naturedly. It was an opportunity like any other. No need to lose their heads.

Then the bell rang.

Alicia had been the captain last year, but Alexa wanted that spot this year. They expressed that vehemently by tossing each other around the ring. Out of the ring. Back into the ring. Rinse and repeat. A Twisted Bliss sealed the deal. She twisted the knife by asking if she could borrow Alicia’s captain’s gear once she had that too. Alicia screamed her out of the ring.

Nia Jax was up next against the returned Tamina. They’d had a moment at Evolution and wanted to continue it here. The ref was wise to stay out their way. Neither was used to being tossed around like a rag doll, but they enjoyed doing the same to the other woman.

Again and again, they took turns throwing the other to the canvas, desperately trying for a pin. When even that didn’t work, they took to the ropes, used one level, then two, to give them a height advantage and an extra boost from gravity. It was one such drop from Nia that caught Tamina in the chest. She was too busy fighting to breathe to kick out. Nia had the last spot on the women’s team.

All of Raw’s elimination tag teams were set.

***

True to your assumptions, Finn had no plans on actually letting Dolph into his match with Styles. He didn’t let up, didn’t let Dolph have enough room to breathe, much less fight back. To him, this was just another practice round for Survivor Series, but convincing Dolph to accept the match had been surprisingly easy once he had a good enough prize. A prize he was never going to give.

Dolph’s ego took as many hits as his body did. The coup de gras probably hurt his pride more than his chest, though his chest hurt too. He rolled to the end of the ring, trying to catch Finn’s boots before he left. He was unsuccessful and had to watch Finn’s smug face as he walked up the ramp.

“I am enough just as I am,” Finn called back. “Man or demon, this,” he held the Universal title up, “is mine. And it’s gonna be for a long time. You should do best to remember t’at.”

Dolph could do nothing but glower at him.

***

Backstage, there was pandemonium. Dean followed the commotion to several refs and trainers helping Braun out from under a pile of steel supports and chairs. The fallen monster was ignoring everybody’s questions but looked him dead in the eye.

“They got her. Shane McMahon and a bunch of Smackdown. They took Y/N.”

Dean ran his hands through his hair, fighting to take deep breaths. Everybody stilled and looked at him. He swallowed hard. “Stick to the plan. We know where she’ll be.”

***

***

Smackdown Live – November 6, 2018

Considering you didn’t really want to be there, you were happy to receive a warm applause. Paige and Shane walked you down to the ring for your official ‘welcome to Smackdown Live.’

“Thanks for that,” you asked once they were done. “And thanks for the shirt, though I would have preferred something a bit more…” you looked down at the blue t-shirt, “something red. But, no harm, no foul. I do have to ask, though. What exactly is the plan? Do I hang out with you guys until Survivor Series, or…?”

Shane patted your shoulder. “Don’t worry about the plan. All you have to do tonight is watch the show.”

“I do that anyway. But usually from home.”

“Well, this week you’ll be watching it here. Not here,” he rushed to add, motioning at the ring, “not in the arena. We don’t want you interfering in anything.”

You pseudo-gasped. “I would never.”

Paige sniggered and jumped in before Shane could say anything more. “Baby Girl, You’re also going to be watching the show with me. Maybe grab some coffee, have a little discussion about our shows. Manager to manager.”

This was going to be fun. “Okay then. I look forward to watching the show with such a guide. When do we start?”

She directed you to the ropes. “Right now if you’ll come this way.” Shane sat on the rope so you both could leave.

***

Her office was probably more comfortable than yours ever had been. A leather couch, her own coffee machine, and a large flat screen to watch the show on. Which you did. Together you watched as Jeff Hardy and Kofi Kingston fought for a spot on the Smackdown elimination team. Kofi won, but by then your discussion had digressed more into the wrestlers themselves than their matches.

“Right? Like, seriously, how can anyone have that much luggage?”

You huffed in agreement and fell back into the couch. “Can I ask how you guys have built up your tag teams so well? They seem very established and everybody looks super strong. How did you-“

“Easy, miss-former-journalist.” Paige laughed. “Can’t give away all our secrets.”

There was a knock at the door. Tye Dillinger entered, wearing his usual expression when R-Truth was a little confused about matches. The said man was right behind him. “Paige, Miss Y/N, I want to face Breezango at Survivor Series with my buddy… Tye Dillinger.” He slapped a hand onto Tye’s shoulder, who didn’t even flinch.

The two of you shared a look. You shrugged. “Why not?” You bit back a giggle as Tye’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. “But I do have to tell you, Officer Fandango hasn’t been cleared to fight yet. Do you think you could fight Officer Breeze alone, but with Mr. Dillinger in your corner. I’m sure we could convince Fandango to be in Breeze’s.”

He nodded and held out his hand for you to shake. “That will be sufficient. Thank you. Tye?” He turned to face his friend. “Time to find Carmella, and to begin training.”

The two of you giggled as they left. Paige nodded. “That’s going to be a great match. Kinda wish I’d thought of it first.”

You tapped your bottom lip. “If I give you the credit, can you set up a match tonight for a coed tag team. I’ll set up a match with my group… assuming I’m there to do it. Something Like what we’ve been doing with the Mixed Match Challenge, but at Survivor Series.”

Again, Paige nodded. “I can arrange that right now.” She stood to leave and you moved to follow. “Oh, no. You can stay here. I’ll just be a minute, but in the meantime…” she poked her head out the door and waved somebody over, “you are not going to be left unattended. Sheamus.” The Irishman towered into view. “Don’t let her out of your sight. I’ll send someone to swap with you before your match.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, looking at you. As Paige left, he joined you on the couch to watch the next match.

***

Jey Uso was just finishing pinning Aiden English, but Sheamus was getting antsy. “Where are they?” He checked his phone again.

You laughed. “Roll a crate in front of the door if you have to but don’t be late for your match on my account.”

“I can’t-“

“We’re here!” Xavier Woods ran in. He bent over, panting. “We… whew, we made it. You’re good… to go to your match. E is… was right behind me.” He gave Sheamus a thumbs up as the man left for his match.

With a sigh, you started to drag Xavier to the door. “Come on. This fridge is out of water, and I’m not going to let you pass out.”

“But Paige said-“

“We’ll pass E in the hallway and then there’ll be two of you. Come on.”

He let himself be led along.

***

Sheamus made it to Gorilla in time for his entrance. He and Cesaro met Sanity in the ring or one last fight to see who would be taking the tag titles to Survivor Series. As champions, The Bar had to advantage that if either of them was hit by the third Sanity teammate, they would win through disqualification. They were trying their best to rile up Alexander Wolfe when they should have been more focused on Killian Dain tagging in from Eric Young.

The Swiss Cyborg turned a second to late and was taken to the mat. Wolfe played his part by keeping Sheamus on the floor and far away from preventing the count. Young was grabbing the belts while the bell was still ringing, ensuring they could make a quick escape as the new champions.

***

Paige flattened her palms against one another and placed them over her lips. Beside her, Shane took a deep breath. “Let’s try this again. Where is Y/N?”

The members of the New Day frantically looked between themselves. E shrugged. “She’s not missing, exactly. She’s probably in the building…”

“Probably?” Shane burst. He caught himself and turned to face anywhere but the trio.

Paige took over, calm for the most part. “You know who else might ‘probably’ be in the building by now? All of Raw’s roster! We have to find her.”

Xavier nodded. “Yep. Agreed. Getting right on that.” They left hurriedly, leaving their managers to silently panic.

***

You weren’t lost. You knew exactly where you were.

In the ring. Wearing a bright red shirt and holding a large flag with Raw’s logo on it. And you had a mic.

“How’s your guy’s night been so far?” You couldn’t hold back a laugh. “I have to say, it’s been pretty boring on my end. It was almost like being a human token in some version of capture the flag. But once they had me, Paige and Shane didn’t know what to do with me. If their plan was to throw Raw into chaos, I didn’t hear any news reports about anything burning down. Which is exactly why I didn’t leave Seth Rollins in charge.”

Paige and Shane came running out to the ring. He was too out of breath, so Paige had to talk. “You keep talking like you’ve escaped already. Maybe the plan is to strand you here.”

“I’m not too bothered,” you said twirling the flag.

“And why…” Shane puffed, recovering, “why is that? You’ve got nowhere to run, and no one to help you.”

“Oh really?” You bit your lip to hide a giggle. “Then how did I get the flag?” Your grin bubbled over as Braun’s music sounded. The managers backed down the ramp as he came on stage. Eventually, they joined you in the ring, while he stayed on the floor. You patted Shane’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. He’s only my exit strategy. Did you really think I wouldn’t have a contingency plan for this?”

He sputtered. “No. How-”

“Did you really think a few guys were going to be enough to take out Braun? Sweeties, he let them win that little tiff.”

Paige sputtered too.

“And you guys didn’t check to see if I had my phone with me? Amateurs. Really, I’d call it stupid, but it was stupid of you guys to have the idea in the first place.” You mouthed ‘now, now’ when Paige pointed at Shane. “I’m the person you know the least about. I have no wrestling history, and I’m only been in the company for not even six months.”

“But you’re a journalist.” Shane shook his head.

He wasn’t wrong; not entirely. “I was, yeah. A journalist who had delusions of grandeur and traveling the dangerous world. And, as it turns out… I’m very good at chess.”

You distanced yourself from them and walked to the side where Braun was. Gently, you arranged the flag in the ropes as if claiming the ring.

“If you’re smart,” you continued, “you’ll take my advice and wait until Survivor Series before doing anything else. And I might, might, not retaliate more than this conversation we just had.”

Braun helped you off the apron and waved with you towards the managers. Then, as your music played, you left Smackdown Live.

 Part 27: Powerhouses  

Series Masterlist 

Masterlist 

Forever Tags: @blondekel77 @hallemichelles @laochbaineann @lavitabella87 @ramblingsofabourbondrinker @savmontreal @southsidebucky @tinyelfperson @zuni21798

WWE/Series Tags: @a-home-for-stray-stories @amballins-priestess @top-1-percent @mother-forker @neversatisfiedgirl @racheo91 @roman-reigns-princess @secretagentfangirl @thetherianthropydaily @wwe-smutfics @scuzmunkie @likeisaidwhatever @cait-kae @ramsaypants @sony-undead18 @brianaraydean @st4yingstrong @dopeybubbles @crystallizeme @jessica91073 @denise8691 @stalelight @kenyadakblalock @1dluver13xx @lauren-novak @lunatic-desert-child @littledeadrottinghood 

11 Questions

tagged by: @owlinadayswork and @shitlorddio (thank you! ❤️❤️)

Rules:

Always post the rules.

Answer the questions given to you by the person who tagged you.

Write 11 questions of your own.

Tag 11 people who you want to get to know better.

~~~~

1. Have you ever been in a country outside of your own? If so, which ones?

Funny you should ask that. I just got back from Germany - my first time ever in Europe. I’ve also visited Canada and Jamaica.

2. Favorite memes, vine videos, etc?

I like cats/dogs doing silly things.

3. Which video game are you currently playing?

Fire Emblem Heroes

4. Have you ever been to a concert?

Which kind? I’ve seen the St. Paul Symphony as well as Styx and John Mellencamp.

5. Who is/are your favorite Youtuber/s? Or whose videos do you check out the most?

I only purposely go to YouTube if I need to know how to do something, game strategy, etc.

6. What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten from someone?

My wedding ring.

7. Favorite console/gaming platform?

Desktop

8. Name 4 - 5 of your most favorite celebrities (musician, actor/actress, sports person, ….)

The voice cast of Voltron

9. Do you have any pets? If not, which animal would you like to have as a pet?

I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. His name is Charlie and he rules the house.

10. Favorite subject at school?

I enjoyed majoring in meteorology.

11. Your most favorite fandom (be it from an Anime, cartoon show, anything).

I haven’t been in many, but currently it is Voltron. Before that it was Pokémon, Danny Phantom, Gundam Wing as the ones I put the most effort into.

~~~

1. Do you only eat one of the pop tarts in the package or both?

Both. Can’t stand leaving one to get stale.

2. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Snoring.

3. How do you feel about smacking?

Glaring at my brother for mocking me when I do it.

4. Name one thing on your bucket list.

Go to a con with friends.

5. Are you a dog or a cat person? A bird person? Fish person?

I like dogs and cats pretty equally. Nod to dogs since I have one.

6. Have you ever regretted anything? Wanna share?

Not staying in shape.

7. Cereal with milk or no?

With milk, unless I’m on the go.

8. How’d you first come to watch Voltron? (Or have you seen Voltron in the first place? )

Was just browsing Netflix one day that summer of 2016 and saw s1 was available. I knew vaguely of the original and decided to check it out.

9. Do you play any instruments?

Cello - although it’s been almost 8 years.

10. Do you remember your 12’s timetable? >:3

Wait what? As in multiplication table? I guess? I just do the math on the spot.

11. What’s your favorite school subject?

Since I answered with my major last time, my favorite class was Mesoscale Meteorology. (Thunderstorms basically)

~~~

My questions:

1. Movie(s) that had a great impact on you as a child - you know, the ones you vividly remember watching as a kid?

2. What is your occupation? Or what do you want to do as a career? Tell me about it!

3. Spinning rides or Up and Down rides?

4 What is the most neat place you’ve ever visited? Would you live there?

5. How did you find your current fandom?

6. What’s the hottest wing sauce you’ve ever eaten?

7. What’s the fic/art you’ve always wanted to write/draw but haven’t gotten to for any reason. OC? Original story? Tell me all about it!

8. Comfort food. If there is one snack/meal that is your go to - what is it? Maybe it’s a drink?

9. One person you really look up to as a role model.

10. Favorite color combination?

11. What is your favorite outfit? That one clothing combination that makes you feel hip or comfortable or both.

Tagging (if you’d like): @roromir @artylovebug @plancelance @vivalachocolate @rayhaaa @canadiantardis @krissychan2 @krolium @myeverlastingship @flik98 @mutherplocker0665

TOS Tag Game

Many thanks to @cptdorkery for tagging me; I was hoping someone would do that. I haven’t watched TOS in two months or so as I have been to busy rewatching TNG, so maybe once I watch TOS again I will change my mind about an answer, but these are my answers as of today.

1) What is your favorite horrible prop/costume/set design?

I don’t have favourites, but I’ll list a few that I’m particularly fond of.

-The cardstock rocks

-Gary Mitchel and later Dr. Dehner’s tin foil eyes in “Where No Man Has Gone Before” (that episode was a whole gallery of fantastically terrible special effects)

-Yeoman Rand's hair

-The terrifying plague make up in "Miri"

-The machine in “Dagger of the mind”. I don’t so much like the prop as I do the concept, which reminds me a lot of the Ludovico technique in A Clockwork Orange, but the result is still creepy.

-The true form of the aliens in “Cat’s Paw”

-Balok’s design in “The Corbomite Maneuver”. It was kind of unsettling in my opinion. He was literally a man baby.

-The costumes of those two girls that Bones makes appear at the end of “Shore Leave”. They were so furry and ridiculous. There was this Mexican sitcom called “La Familia Peluche” about this really eccentric family that would dress in furry clothes, and those bikinis the girls in “Shore Leave” were wearing looked like they came straight out of that show. I only watched one episode in my cousin’s house several years ago, but that was enough to make the connection.

-Space Abraham Lincon from “The Savage Curtain”

There are more, but these are the ones that I can come up with from the top of my head.

2) If you could have dinner with any one member of the Enterprise, with the exceptions of Spock, Jim, or Bones, who would it be?

This is though, REALLY though. Dinner with Scotty would be a hilarious blast; I could talk for hours with Sulu about plants and he could give me tips to keep me from unintentionally killing them; I could ask Chapel if people still watch House MD in the 23rd century and if so, I could fangirl with her and talk about how well/terribly House and McCoy would get along; and Uhura and I could have a great time talking about our love of linguistics, and she could teach me some Vulcan or Klingon or some other non-Earthly tongue. However, I think for today at least, I would choose Chekov. It would be interesting talking to him about being so young and already an ensign on the Enterprise, I could listen to his dubious claims about things being invented in Russia, and he could help me on my current quest to learn Russian. I find TOS Chekov’s personality very amusing and he kind of reminds me of a friend I had.

3) What period of Earth’s history would you have liked to see the crew time travel to?

This is even harder than the last question. Let’s see... I’d tell you today, just because I’m curious to see what their reaction would be to this very illogical world we are living in, but our 2018 doesn’t match canon 2018. Star Trek is designed to be a reflection of humanity today and what we could become, so whatever the time and place, it would be interesting to see them in a time of oppression. They already went to see Nazis, so maybe something like the Armenian genocide or Aztec Empire when the conquistadores decided to come in would be interesting, idk; something that doesn’t take place in America or Europe. On the lighter side, I also think it’d be funny to see them accidentally show up backstage at a Beatles concert and see the reaction to Spock’s haircut. Here’s a Doctor Who/Star Trek fanfic idea: somehow the crew comes across the Doctor, and for whatever reason, they have to go the 60′s where they meet the Beatles and have to fight some alien in the streets on Liverpool. People think Spock is a Beatle.

4) Please give an universe-plausible reason (no breaking the fourth wall) for Jim’s shirts being made with the durability of tissue paper.

I have been pondering over this for the longest time. I have no idea. Kirk obviously enjoys having a torn shirt, or just downright being shirtless, so perhaps he does this intentionally. Here is my (very silly) headcanon: Kirk wants an excuse to show off his chest (perhaps to woo Spock?), and since apparently walking around his ship shirtless in unacceptable by Starfleet regulations, he had to get creative. In Discovery we learn that uniforms are replicated, and Kirk knows that those uniforms are pretty sturdy, so he can’t wear those, so he learns how to sew. He makes his shirts out of plain cotton (or hemp or whatever thin fabric they have in the 23rd century), so that he is sure his shirts will rip. Starfleet takes notice that Kirk’s shirts end up ripped no matter what, and Kirk tells them that it’s because the replicators are malfunctioning and he is the only one with ripped shirts because he is the only one who puts himself in that kind of danger. Starfleet believes him and they tell Scotty to please fix the Enterprise’s replicators, which really frustrates him and the rest of engineering because no one can find any flaws in the replicators but yet Kirk always comes back after beaming down with a rip the size of Asia on his shirt.

5) Which episode would you recommend first for a non-Trekkie who is interested in watching the show? Or which episode would you not let them anywhere near?

I always introduce people to TOS with “The Man Trap”. It was the first aired episode and it works beautifully. I think it’s a fantastic episode: it has a moral dilemma, it’s a good introduction to all the major characters (save Chekov who is not in season 1), there’s tension between them, there’s a mystery, there’s a moral, etc. I think this episode holds up quite well. I know of people who try to recruit new fans with “Where No Man Has Gone Before” because it was the first TOS episode filmed with the Kirk crew, but the reason I don’t like doing that (although I love that episode) is that everything is different to all the other episodes. I think it’s not a good introductory episode precisely because it was the first episode filmed with this cast. Shatner looks like he feels out of place, Spock acts strangely throughout, McCoy isn’t even in the episode, and the science in this episode was really BS. I once introduced someone to TOS with “Charlie X”, which also works well, but “The Man Trap” is my top pick.

Out my followers, I believe that @boi-urthebird and @little-alien-duck have not been tagged. If you have, well, anyone else who hasn’t can jump aboard.

Here are the questions:

1.) What is your opinion on the Vulcan ideology? Is logic the way?

2.) Is there an episode you wish you could wipe from your memory? It can be either because it was so bad you wish to forget or because it was so good you wish you could experience it again for the first time.

3.) If you were part of the crew, would you be in command, sciences, engineering, or would you risk it and join security?

4.) Favourite race that appears in TOS?

5.) What character of the crew do you wish the show had explored further?

memories can hurt or heal

rated teen and up, 1.6k

read here on ao3

if you want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask off anon! based on this prompt

Today is definitely one of those classic fall days. It’s dark and rainy and just this side of cold. Of course it’s a Saturday, so Dean doesn’t even have work to distract him. His mind inevitably wanders to Cas, and then to the box of memories he still hasn’t unpacked that’s currently sitting on the top shelf of his closet. He’d moved into this three-bedroom house months ago. Everything had been unpacked within a week of moving in, but the one box that sat on the top shelf of his closet has been left untouched since he’d put it there three days after moving in. Because, truth be told, some of the memories in there are pretty bittersweet. Days like today, though… they’re the days he gets the itch under his skin to drag the box down from the closet and reminisce. He knows there’s a ton of pictures of them, and a few things from various dates and milestones in their relationship. Most of the time he’s able to brush the thought away easily, but there’s just something about today. He waffles with the thought for a while; he makes himself some breakfast, catches up on the news on his phone, and takes a long, hot bath.

He’s staring into his closet trying to decide what to wear when his eyes wander to the box on his top shelf. He ends up pulling on one of his softer Henleys and a pair of worn sweatpants before pulling the box down and setting it on the hardwood floor. He takes a seat in front of it, smiling softly to himself as he pulls the lid off and sets it aside. Right on top is the picture of him and Cas from graduation. Dean’s mother had taken it just after the ceremony, as evidenced by the fact that their tassels are on the left. It’s one of his favorite pictures of them. The day itself had been insanely stressful, but having Cas right there with him, and both of their families there to celebrate their graduation had been amazing. He brushes a thumb over the picture before picking it up and setting it on the lid gently. Next on the pile are their tickets from the Kaleo concert they’d taken a road trip to shortly after graduation. They’d gone back to Kansas with their families and driven all the way to LA for the concert. The road trip itself was probably more fun than the concert, if he’s being honest with himself, and he can’t wait to find the polaroids from the car trip. With the tickets set aside, he digs his cap and gown out to get them out of the way. He sees the corner of one of the car trip polaroids on the very bottom on the box, but he forces himself to go through the rest and end on some of the best memories. The assortment of Broadway playbills is next. Cas had gone through a phase in high school where he was super into Broadway shows and Dean, being the excellent best friend he was, had accompanied him to thirteen over the course of their four years in high school. He smiles to himself as he flips through them, remembering the shows fondly before setting the playbills aside. Next up is the stack of photos spanning high school and college. It’s not a huge amount, since most of the photos are stored on his laptop, but it’s pretty sizable. The top of the stack are pictures from their college commencement ball. Not that he’s ever had a problem admitting it, but damn does Cas look good in a tux. He flips through the pictures slowly, letting his memories of the night be tugged to the surface. He’s still in contact with most of his college friends, but it’s been a while since they’ve gotten together… He makes a mental note to give Charlie a call later before flipping to the next picture. This one’s him and Cas at the homecoming football game their senior year. He’s got blue and gold paint on his cheeks, and Cas has one of the school jerseys on. In the picture, Dean’s forehead is against Cas’s cheek, and both of them are sporting matching grins. He stares at the picture for a moment before setting it on the other side of him, away from the rest of the photos with the intent to put it somewhere visible. The next few pictures are ones taken throughout college. They’re mostly him and Cas, with a few of their mutual friends scattered throughout. He’s always got this look when he’s staring at Cas in pictures. Charlie called it his “heart eyes stare” all throughout college, Castiel had gotten a kick out of that. The next set of pictures are ones from their senior prom in high school. They’ve got ties matching their eye color, green for Dean and blue for Cas, and matching boutonnieres, a small red tulip for each of them. Neither of their parents had been surprised when he’d asked Cas to prom. His mother said she’d been waiting a long time to see who’d make the first move, and Cas’s father had agreed. Even Dean’s dad, who he was sure would be angry about his son being attracted to men was okay with it. He and Cas, though? Neither of them had any idea that the other had similar feelings until Dean had made the first move a few months before their high school graduation. Though, in hindsight, the signs were all there. The next pictures are ones from high school. Cas in the stands cheering during Dean’s soccer games, and Dean in the stands cheering during Cas’s baseball games. A few of them at various school events, and even a few of the time Dean and Cas had manned the kissing booth at the cheerleading fundraiser. He shakes his head at the memory, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He reaches the last picture, one of them on their first day of high school. He shakes his head at the oversized sweater Cas has on, smiling fondly. He sets the final picture aside, pulling a photo album from the box and setting it aside to look at later. He grabs an assortment of tickets, ones from all their high school games, setting them aside before grabbing the stack of polariods from the bottom of the box. These are probably his fondest memories of his and Cas’s relationship, if he’s being honest with himself. At the same time, they’re also the worst. Cas had gotten the tickets for them as a graduation present. The concert was a week and a half after graduation, so they’d agreed to take a long road trip through the western US, stopping at a few different landmarks before ending up at their hotel in LA a couple days before the concert. The car trip had been great, the concert had been incredible, but that night at the hotel? Probably one of the worst nights of his life. He flips through the polariods slowly, sighing heavily. Cas had gotten a job in New York City, and he’d chosen to tell Dean when they got back to their hotel at midnight. Dean had already secured a job in Lebanon, the same place he’d interned with the summer before senior year. Castiel had left the following week, and Dean had been fuming. They’d nearly had a screaming match in the middle of the airport just before Cas caught his plane. The sound of footsteps behind him tugs him out of the spiral of bad memories. “You’re back from your run early.” he says softly, smiling and grabbing the photo album he’d set aside. There’s a low, gravelly chuckle behind him. “I am. Reminiscing, are you?” He hums and nods, turning to glance at the man behind him. “Yep. It’s the only box we haven’t unpacked.” Cas smiles and steps closer, motioning for Dean to move over. Dean wrinkles his nose but complies, shifting over and resting the photo album on both their laps once Cas sits. Castiel cocks an eyebrow at him, smiling. “Our wedding album?” Dean smiles, bumping his shoulder against his husband’s and flipping through the pages. Castiel shifts after a few pages, his head dropping to rest on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m still mad at you for not telling me earlier.” Dean murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of Cas’s head. Castiel chuckles, resting his hand on Dean’s thigh. The silver band on his left hand sparkles in the early morning sunlight, and Dean can’t help but be ridiculously proud that the man sitting next to him is his husband. He closes the photo album, setting it aside and wrapping an arm around Cas’s waist. “I’m glad we got through it. I hated fighting with you like that.” Castiel hums, pressing a chaste kiss to Dean’s lips. “I did as well, though you were incredibly hot when you were mad like that.” Cas has the audacity to smirk at him, and Dean finds himself shaking his head with a grin on his face. “Yeah, well, you’re hot all the time.” Castiel chuckles, a soft sound that warms Dean from the inside. “Well, since I’m back early, why don’t we both get a little exercise in and then grab a shower?” Cas’s eyes flick to the bed and barely a second passes before Dean’s on his feet, tugging Castiel to the bed. They may have had their ups and downs, but Dean’s glad for every single one of them.

tags: @gabesgoldwings @agentzreads

INTRODUCING…. me.

hey, babes !! my name’s dee, and i’m very new around here. i’m twenty-three, live in the est, and use she/her pronouns. i’m a moody aquarius, chaotic neutral, and infp for those of you that are into literally anything that will tell you about your personality like me. i’m legit so painfully shy but i’m so down for plots, threads, and ships of all kinds so please bring me whatever your little hearts desire !!! i’m so stoked to be here and write with y’all it’s INSANE, and my ims are ALWAYS open for screaming about plotting, sharing headcanons, or making friends !! i only have two triggers that i feel should be mentioned and those are anything involving heavily graphic or explicit mentions of self-harm or pedophilia. otherwise, i’m good to go but please let me know if i miss something and don’t tag or give a content warning for any of your triggers !!!

INTRODUCING…. the muses.

HEATHER VINCENT, phoebe tonkin, ( 26 ) + screwtape by cane hill.

JANIE FOLEY, holland roden, ( 21 ) + disco tits by tove lo.

CARCOSA LUSK, lucy hale, ( 23 ) + ain’t no grave by johnny cash.

MICKEY ST. CLAIR, lynn gunn, ( 24 ) + soon be gone by boots.

VERONICA ST. CLAIR, carlson young, ( 21 ), + hotter than hell by dua lipa.

EVE RAYNER, holland roden, ( 27 ), + when the levee breaks by led zeppelin.

VALERIA PADILLA, eiza gonzalez, ( 27 ), + down by stone temple pilots.

MOLLY STARRETT, madelaine petsch, ( 22 ), + ultraviolence by lana del rey.

BRITNEY STARRETT, katherine mcnamara, ( 20 ), + come as you are by nirvana.

NIKKI FREY, maggie lindemann, ( 19 ), + baby i’m dead inside by kopps.

INTRODUCING…. wanted plots.

oh wOW alright so i’m gonna be basic for a second and tell y’all that i fucking love angst. i mean, fluff’s great and all, but my heart truly lies with the gritty, toxic, dysfunctional, and fucked up. i’m also a huge fan of anything having to do with crime so if you ever wanna do any crime plots come my way !!!  it’s also no secret that i’m a very big fan of age gaps ( obvs not with minors because GROSS ). but seriously, give me everything. friends or exes or enemies to lovers, two toxic people that know they should walk away from each other but can’t live without the other, criminals on the run, any kind of criminal or bad influence with pure characters that have hearts made of gold, characters that go through something horrible together and become each other’s lifeline because they’re the only ones that understand, secret and / or taboo relationships, slowburn and unrequited love, exes that reconnect under literally any kind of circumstances, etc. i’ll link some good examples of my favorite plots so you can get a feel for what i’m describing !!!

x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x are all some ( hopefully ) pretty good examples !!

i’m also always down for plots away from the romantic side of things. i LOVE giving my characters ride or dies, enemies, exes, family, or anything else you can think of. the more unique the connection the better !! legit one of the best relationships i ever played out in an rp was between carcosa and another girl. totally platonic, but it was such a rich and fucked up dynamic that was full of toxicity and power struggles and manipulation and backstabbing, but also drunken benders and risky adventures and late night confessions, and those were easily some of the funnest threads and plotting sessions i’ve ever had. so please, like i said, give me all of the connections.

INTRODUCING…. the favorites.

i’m totally gonna break this down into quick lil sections because i have a lot of favorite things lmao so here you go !!!

SHIPS

tbh i have so many favorite crackships so pls don’t even get me started on those ?? but i love both f/f and m/f ships and have absolutely zero preference when it comes to which one we do. i’m also a huge fan of poly ships and i’ll never say no to having multiple ships/plots/threads with the same person. i’m very much a multi-ship kinda gal so as long as it’s cool with my writing partner(s) i tend to assume each ship is in it’s own little verse unless otherwise discussed. though i’m totally down for and love ic drama so don’t be afraid to approach me about ships existing in the same timeline !! i’m a fan of everything from the sickly sweet and fluffy to the fucked up, toxic, and angsty so just give me all of the ships because tbh i’m a slut for ‘em.

FACES

alright so some of my favorite faces to play are holland roden, lucy hale, phoebe tonkin, eiza gonzalez, madelaine petsch, katherine mcnamara, dove cameron, halsey, emma greenwell, maggie lindemann, emmy rossum, madison davenport, lynn gunn, vanessa morgan, carlson young, deborah ann woll, and maggie siff. some of my favorite ladies to play against are zoey deutch, lindsey morgan, kat graham, vanessa morgan, dua lipa, eliza taylor, adelaide kane, candice patton, dove cameron, arden cho, chloe bennet, vanessa hudgens, danielle campbell, ashley benson, margot robbie, blake lively, ginny gardner, angelina jolie, emeraude toubia, meghan markle, and zoe kravitz. some of my favorite fellas to play against are charlie hunnam, jon bernthal, dj cotrona, charles melton, manny montana, oscar isaac, andy biersack, andrew lincoln, chris evans, bob morley, garrett hedlund, tom hardy, jason momoa, tyler posey, michael b. jordan, frank grillo, jeffrey dean morgan, dom sherwood, jensen ackles, skeet ulrich, and froy gutierrez.

EXTRAS

 just for fun, here’s a mismatched list of some of my favorite things across the board !! snakes, glitter, the colors purple, teal, and black, dogs, iced coffee, horror movies, outlaw bikers, drag queens, classic rock, vinyl records, bath and body works, geodes, mexican food, pulp fiction, the moon and stars, tattoos, neon lights, iasip, succulents and cacti, richard siken, candles, myths and folklore, metallic lipstick, sons of anarchy, and concerts.

INTRODUCING…. future plans.

tbh i hope to get a lot of things out of this group. i’m hoping to find a safe space to let my creativity run wild and a home for my muses where they can constantly grow and develop through interactions with other characters, in-depth plots, and my own exploration the more i write with them. i’m also hoping this will be a good opportunity to make friends, since i’m very much a loner and some of the best people i’ve met have been through the world of roleplaying. i definitely want to push my muses and challenge myself to be a better writer here, and i hope to help out those of you that are seeking the same things in your journey !! i’m already planning on adding some more muses in the very near future ( because i have ZERO impulse control ), and as far as future plans for plots go i want EVERYTHING. romantic, enemies, exes, familial, platonic, and literally anything in between. i would definitely love some slowburn ships where our characters don’t just fall in love overnight. i’d also be so down for exploring the dynamics of age gap relationships. not just the taboo aspect of them but like the differences in generations, the potential repercussions, the ups and downs and the times where they’re not sure if they can make it work.

INTRODUCING…. why i said fuck it.

i mean who hasn’t felt like saying fuck it to the rpc ??? i’ve been rping for several years, about six of those years have been on tumblr and as much love as i can have for this community at times, most days it’s just fucking exhausting. i feel like it’s mostly become a very toxic, judgmental, and honestly shallow place. i hate the expectation groups put on members these days with activity checks and whatnot because honestly who even has the time to write every single day ????? or y’know sometimes we just don’t feel like it ?????? i know for me personally between my mental health and irl responsibilities i just don’t have the time or energy to be on every two days. and plus a lot of them are cliquey af or die in a week or are riddled with petty drama so i tend to avoid them altogether. i joined the indie community in hopes of rping on my terms and while i def feel like that was a step in the right direction, it’s still a very exclusive community at times and i’ve had difficulty fitting in. there’s still a lot of ugliness towards female ocs or muns that exclusively play females and tbh i’m over it ??? i decided to give this group a try because i love the idea of the indie format but in a group, making it easier to plot with people and put yourself out there. tl;dr i decided to say fuck it because the community’s gone downhill and i needed a change.

Grateful Dead Monthly: Hollywood Sportatorium – Pembroke Pines, FL 5/22/77

On Sunday, May 22, 1977, the Grateful Dead played a concert at the Hollywood Sportatorium in Pembroke Pines, Florida.

The Sportatorium was built in 1968 in a then-sparsely-populated and unincorporated area of Broward County southwest of Fort Lauderdale and northwest of Miami. The developers were a couple of guys – Stephen Calder and Norman Johnson – who opened a horse track and later a motorsports track nearby. The plan for the venue sounds like a proto Florida Man’s fever dream. From the Wiki:

Among the plans for the Sportatorium were sports events, ice follies programs, auto and boat shows, and eventually a “Gold Coast State Fair”. The Sportatorium was constructed as a hangar-like facility constructed out of concrete, a steel roof, an asphalt floor, and no air conditioning. Originally designed to seat 18,000 for stage events and 15,000 for arena events, it opened in December 1969 with only 6,000 seats.

“The idea was to have a facility which could have entertainment and events out of weather”, said Bruce Johnson, Norman Johnson’s son, who managed the arena until 1980. At first, it hosted indoor rodeos, indoor motocross events, wrestling, boxing, and some concerts.

According to the Wiki, the first event in the Sportatorium was the 1969 Miami Rock Festival on 12/27-29. The Dead played that Fest on 12/28, but Deadlists indicates that the venue was the International Speedway (the aforementioned motorsports track?), so the Wiki is likely inaccurate. The Sportatorium ultimately did become the premier concert mecca in South Florida, fulfilling the Johnson family promise of something something inside. Here’s a list of who played there in the early/mid-’70s: ELP, Zeppelin, the MC5, Fleetwood Mac, and Spirit in 1971; ABB, Floyd, and Yes in 1972; Uriah Heep, Zappa, Elton John, and Chicago in 1973; Dylan and King Crimson in 1974; the Doobies and Skynyrd in 1975; and the Eagles, ZZ Top, Clapton, and KISS in 1976. Yeah, the ’70s were eclectic and amazing, and dominated by duuudes.

By the late ’80s, the Miami Arena was the main stop for big acts, and the Sportatorium was reduced to booking stale metal bands like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. (Zero shade: I’m fine with Maiden and Priest, but they were past their primes at that point.) The last show there was on 10/21/88 – some country and western unknowns. In 1992, the land was zoned residential. In 1993 after Hurricane Andrew, the Sportatorium was leveled.

The Dead played there for the first time in 1977. (They returned in ’78, 80, and ’85.) Let’s get to the tour and the show. Caveat: I am a complete ’77 geek. I don’t think that the band played a bad show that entire year, and most of them were exemplary.

The band started the year with a handful of Cali shows – San Bernardino (2/26), Santa Barbara (2/27), Winterland (3/18-20) – before heading to the other coast. By then, the weird/cool segue-happy ’76 approach had been jettisoned for something leaner, setlist-wise. The 1977 template was basically the one that the band would use until 1995: A crowd-pleaser opener or openers; Bobby stuff (sometimes cowboy, sometimes blues, and Dylan in the ’80s-90s) interspersed with Jerry stuff (mostly ballads); a big first-set closer; a big second-set opener; a song or two leading into something sorta jam-able; drums and space; a vaguely-segued, three-to-five-song, crowd-pleaser ender that could/would include Bobby energy and Jerry gravitas; and encore that might be fun. Shit was predictable, but it worked.

In April, the band landed in Philly (4/22), traveled up to Springfield, MA (4/23), traveled back down to Passiac, NJ (4/25-27), camped out for five nights (4/29-30, 5/1, 3-4) at the Palladium in NYC, then jumped from New Haven, CT (5/5) to maybe the best three consecutive nights in their history – Boston (5/7), Ithaca, NY (5/8), and Buffalo (5/9). The tour then wound its way around the eastern half of the country: St. Paul > Chicago > St. Louis > Tuscaloosa, AL > Atlanta > Florida (two places, including the Sportatorium) > Richmond, VA > Baltimore > Hartford, CT. My recitation of that itinerary isn’t gratuitous. Like the setlist architecture, the tour structure was starting to take shape. The only reason that ’77 didn’t become the template for the latter was Mickey’s June 20th car accident, which gave the band a summer break that extended until September.

On a recent road trip, my best friend and I deep-dived into the Good Ol’ Grateful Deadcast, the “official” podcast from Rhino Records, who owns the vault. The first season was a track-by-track dissection of Workingman’s Dead. The second season was a track-by-track dissection of American Beauty. Those records celebrated 50th birthdays last year. Somewhere in the second season, main talker Jesse Jarnow mentions that touring wasn’t really a thing in the late ’60s and early ’70s. His point, which comes across with great aplomb in an interview with road manager Sam Cutler, is that the Dead had to create the tour concept for themselves before they could draw ‘heads into following them across the country year after year. Anyway, I can’t recommend that podcast highly enough – it’s been fantastic so far, and I’m excited to hear when it goes next. Well worth a listen.

So. 5/22/77. It must be alright if Dick Latvala picked it as the third release in the vault series that bears his name? Yep.

The show starts with a fun Funiculi Funicula wiggle, then drops into a funky The Music Never Stops. Next is a fantastic Sugaree that seems to go on forever. Is it the longest of the tour? No. According to a post on the Dead for a Year blog, there were seven versions of Sugaree in 5/77. (I confirmed that.)The longest is 5/28 (18:43, per Deadlists); the next longest is 5/19 (17:02). The rest, including 5/22, fall into the 13-15 minute range. This one is 15:38, and it doesn’t disappoint. The rest of the first set is a trade off between Bobby and Jerry. El Paso, Peggy-O, Minglewood, Friend of the Devil, Lazy Lightnin’ > Supplication, Ramble on Rose. All excellent. The first set-closing Dancing in the Street is just slightly less great than the Cornell version.

The second set-opening Help on the Way > Slipknot! > Franklin’s Tower is just slightly less great than the Buffalo version. (Hey, DW. Just checking if you’re awake.) The Samson & Delilah pops, and Donna isn’t a minus, until she is. After a so-so Brown-Eyed Women and an even more so-so Good Lovin’, she’s back to lead Sunrise. Whatever. The Estimated > Eyes ticks all the boxes for me. Estimated is big and round, and Eyes is plenty fast. The segue from Eyes into Wharf Rat is an honest >, noodly and smooth. (Deadlists calls it Space, but it’s better than that.) A short Terrapin and a long Dew ends the set. And Sugar Magnolia is a suitable encore. That’s my take.

Here’s everybody’s favorite Deadhead with his listening notes. Ladies and Gentlemen, Emcee ECM…

When GD archivist, Dick Latvala unearthed a damaged analog tape of 5/22/77, it was probably one of best finds/surprises in Grateful Dead taping history. Of course, the story of Rob Eaton acquiring the Betty Boards of 5/8/77 (among many other shows that were missing from the vault) takes first prize, but most people in the taping community already knew about Cornell from audience tapes that circulated. With 5/22/77, nothing circulated. It was a completely unknown show, which made it’s mystery all the more intriguing. Latvala and crew painstakingly restored the damaged analog tape and released it for all of us to hear as Dick’s Pick Volume 3 in 1995. The show opens with a mind blowing Music > Sugaree combo, the latter being an all-time version. Listen to the way Garcia weaves a hypnotic spider web of notes in Sugaree. Later in the set we get a sizzling Lazy>Supplication and a tender Peggy-O. The set closes with a groove-a-licious version of Dancing In The Street that gives Cornell a run for its money.

In Set 2, we get our faces melted with a spellbinding Slipknot! and a joyous Franklin’s Tower. Eyes of the World starts with a gorgeous lengthy opening jam before the verses and ends with an otherworldly jam that leads into a stunning Wharf Rat. Then we get to the reason why Dick Latvala released this show. It’s one of those magical Grateful Dead moments where everything seems right in the universe. Here, somehow, Wharf Rat finds its way into Terrapin Station WITHOUT the Lady With A Fan section. It’s the only time this ever happened. From there we get another incredibly rare treat: Morning Dew. The last version the band played was at Cornell two weeks before this performance. Dew was only played five times in 1977, and all of the versions are astounding including this one. Also, this is the third of only four performances ever of the TerraDew combo. Wish they would have played it more just as I wish they would have performed the Playin’ Palindrome more often. A legendary Grateful Dead show in the legendary month of May 1977. Time to revisit this Dick’s Picks if you haven’t done so already.

As Ed mentioned, most of this show is an official release, Dick’s Picks #3. (Idk why they opted to include Sunrise over BEW or Sugar Mags.) Here’s the Spotify widget…

And if you’re not on Spotify, or just want the whole show, transport to the Charlie Miller remaster of the soundboard recording HERE.

More soon.

JF

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