reimsdom
captain believes in miracles
Reims Tauber // 24 y.o. // he/she // conlangs, Germany, space // little linguist // utopian // trekkie
#russian #german #vuhlkansu
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I've noticed that, probably due to a desire to alleviate the grim nature of the original, many xuexiao fanfic writers opt to focus on (twisted or fluffy) romantic feelings of the characters. The emphasis ends up being on their romantic / platonic / sexual attraction rather than their incredibly juicy ideological contest and the antagonistic tension mixed with intrigue that Xue Yang shows towards Xiao Xingchen. Basically, there is too much 'lovers / froends' and not enough 'enemies' in their enemies - to - lovers / friends story. (I'm not criticising that. I'm a sucker for their mushier side too. But I'm equally a sucker for a good brutal battle of creeds.)
So let me fill this gap by describing how DELICIOUS the exploration of the 'you're my enemy and u SUCK and your worldview is RIDICULOUS but I LOVE rotating you in the microwave testing the limits of your resolve' aspect is or can be. I'll use some moments from the show / novel that I find striking in this regard.
XXC is very kind but lacks the worldly experience to be spot - on empathetic (as others have pointed out). He's also rigid to a fault. This is a VERY unpopular interpretation of mine but I believe he can be selfish / negligent in his goodness - he sheds caution about possible repercussions on his near ones in his mission to fight evil. He was smart enough to figure out the Chang massacre and trace it to XY. He knows XY is incredibly vengeful and creative in his vengeance. He's had experience with powerful people who will obstruct justice. Yet he goes ahead with prosecuting XY even when Jin Guangshan acts shady and uncooperative. Didn't he consider that this might put a target on his well - known partner Song Lan ?
Welp, then the Baixue bloodbath happens and XXC very understandably blames himself. I know we like to say it wasn't his fault, and of course it technically wasn't, but he did commit a grave error in not thinking through the consequences. It could be a miscalculation, negligence or even cavalier tunnel - vision, depending on your opinion. But anyway, XXC's morale is shattered and as others (like ameliarating) have said, he determined to never end up harming others in his quest for righteousness again.
XY wiped out Baixue for revenge, but also to kill XXC's hopes and vision, again also mentioned by others. May be a stretch, but it could be XY's way of saying 'hah, you don't care to understand why the world is as awful as it is, and then blame ME for doing shitty things to live it up in a shitty world. So let me show you how things actually work, and why my existence and lifestyle are valid.' It's like a really fucked up method of self - affirmation for XY. (Just in case - I am neutral on XY's actions. The novel doesn't give us much insight into his thoughts, so I'll withhold judgement on the nature vs. nurture debate about XY. But he's definitely an interesting character).
Then XY starts infiltrating XXC's life in Yi City. Why does he stick around after healing ? I like to think it's initially because he's a) taking advantage of XXC's generous freebies cuz why not and b) wants to torment him, yes, but he's also very very curious about XXC. Maybe it's because XXC's still out here trying to do good when many people would've either quit and hardened their hearts, or been broken irreparably. So XY think's he'll get both schadenfreude and try to find out why this dumbass saved a highly suspicious dying man and continued on his goody goody quest instead of learning his lesson. The lesson XY tried to teach him. Maybe XXC's whole deal makes XY wonder how his life would be if he'd acted nicer and more socially acceptable. Would it have saved him any pain ? Would he have had true allies then ? Did he choose a life of callous crime because he is weak - willed and 'inferior' unlike the seemingly unbreakable superiority of XXC ?
So he makes XXC kill on 'night - hunts'. Perhaps to prove that XXC got manipulated into doing harm cuz he's dumb or full of hubris and refuses to wisen up, refuses to become more cynical and wary of people. This ties back into Baixue too. Also I think the book mentions the victims are residents who mocked / cheated XXC ? If that's true, it's like XY is 'introducing' XXC to taking bloody revenge just like XY did on the Chang clan and others who crossed him / his pals. Like he's enacting teaching XXC 'look, if you keep up the good deeds, eventually you'll meet someone who ruins you so you destroy that hope for humanity and become just like me. Your way will always end in disaster, and therefore I'm justified in living like I do.'
Of course, in the end XY realises that XXC's drive to better society was his way of coping with the harsh reality of humans, especially after being ousted from BSSR's mountain. XXC didn't want to live in a sordid world. Meanwhile XY's coping mechanism was to extort the sordid world for all he wanted.
There's a tiny moment in CQL where, after the fake night hunt slaughter, XXC walks past a smirking XY and his arm brushes XY's sleeve, whose grin grows larger. It's like XY's relishing in XXC so casually touching and hanging about him totally unawares. Also he's horny for XXC's combat skills.
So yeah. Antagonist obsessed with corrupting his enemy, wrapping him around his finger, but not willing to let go. He ended up being totally down to bask in XXC's obstinate kindness despite that being the very thing he wanted to disprove and destroy.
XXC hesitates to kill XY after the reveal. What does he get from XY? Maybe it was reassuring that someone as hard - hearted and self - centred as his friend was willing to stick around in no man's land with him. It's soothing because it makes it seem like the world isn't that cruel, that perhaps the potential for good exists in people, hence helping XXC cope with his existential anxiety. He has to hold on to that hope even as his friend's identity is revealed, else there's nothing left for him since he can't bear to live in a world of evil and exploitation.
Why didn't XY move on after XXC's suicide ? If all he wanted was acceptance and shelter, he could've found so many other options. No, he was obsessed with XXC cuz he thought that if someone perfectly willing to kill him in the past over morals hesitated to kill him in the end, it must be an actual stable love. Where else, he thinks, would be find someone who loved him enough to not kill him despite them being such hostile opposites by character and circumstance ? Lots of people could love him cuz they agreed with his worldview or found it / him expedient. Who would love him even when their entire identity and misery opposed it ?
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Like I'm sure sex is cool and all but have you ever thought about the relationships between different word classes
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rip i actually like this one better but the moles…. ;;
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happy bday to the absolute worst boy!! (knife emoji)
(from this one edit ….. )
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reasons to love liu qianqiao
@asiandramanet creator bingo - blending (inspired by x)
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24 апреля, ВДНХ
Я люблю ВДНХ, но за пределами ВДНХ всё ещё существует отнюдь не радужный реальный мир.
Вчера с подругой, пользуясь хорошей погодой, отправились на ВДНХ, конкретно - в недавно открывшийся Павильон "Атом".
Три впечатления:
Первый зал был посвящен бомбардировке Хиросимы и Нагасаки, поэтому я вышла оттуда сразу же.
Я честно думала, что видела уже все ужасы, связанные с ядерным оружием, но оказалось, что нет - меня настиг темный зал, где на экране проигрывался док-фильм про испытания Царь-бомбы. Отчаянно захотелось сесть прямо посреди зала на пол и закрыть голову руками от страха.
Наконец, я чуть не расплакалась, когда пошли залы, посвященные моде на мирный атом и тем фантастическим проектам - от атомного автомобиля до атомного звездолёта. Не могу не плакать, смотря на проекты светлого будущего посреди ми��а, где мы живём сегодня.
К счастью, мы пережили атомную гонку и Карибский кризис, но человечество всё ещё из какой-то упрямой глупости предпочитает мирному атому и развитию - уничтожение, алчность и сиюминутную выгоду.
I love VDNKh, but there is still a far from rosy real world outside of VDNKh.
Yesterday, taking advantage of the good weather, my 师妹 and I went to VDNKh, specifically to the recently opened Atom Pavilion.
Three impressions:
The first hall was dedicated to the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, so I left right away.
I honestly thought that I had already seen all the horrors associated with nuclear weapons, but it turned out that I had not - I was overtaken by a dark hall where a dock film about the Tsar Bomb tests was playing on the screen. I desperately wanted to sit down right in the middle of the hall on the floor and cover my head with my hands out of fear.
Finally, I almost burst into tears when the halls dedicated to the fashion for peaceful atom and those fantastic projects - from an atomic car to an atomic spaceship - went on. I can't help but cry, looking at the projects of a bright future in the middle of the world where we live today.
Fortunately, we survived the atomic race and the Caribbean crisis, but humanity still, out of some stubborn stupidity, prefers peaceful atom and development - destruction, greed and short-term gain.
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немного о работоспособности
годы проходят - ничего не меняется, я все также работаю в волновом режиме (может, я фотон)): один день я полна сил и могу делать все, что захочу, на следующий же - лежу пластом. вот и опять в эту субботу я сделала много, а на следующий день, в воскресенье, почти ничего (кроме урока по немецкому, которые я все же стараюсь не пропускать). с другой стороны, в пятницу у меня был полный рабочий день, и я сильно устала, так что это многое объясняет.
в принципе, я даже вполне понимаю, как это работает, но сбалансировать пока не удается. если обычно такой режим не сильно мешает, то сейчас мне каждый день нужно работать над диссертацией...
a little bit about workability
years pass - nothing changes, I still work in wave mode (maybe I'm a photon)): one day I'm full of energy and I can do whatever I want, the next I'm lying flat. so again, this Saturday I did a lot, and the next day, Sunday, almost nothing (except for the German lesson, which I still try not to miss). on the other hand, I had a full day at work on Friday and I was very tired, so that explains a lot.
in principle, I even fully understand how it works, but it has not been possible to balance it yet. if such a regime usually does not interfere much, now I have to work on my dissertation every day…
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Gwen Headcanons
she actually has curly/wavey hair but because it’s 2006 she constantly straightens it
She met Rose Tyler once, when they were both kids. Neither of them remember this
She also met Ianto when they were kids… they found a picture taken of both them plus Rhiannon
She has pictures of Owen, Tosh and Ianto in her house. She talks to them fairly regularly
She tells Anwen bedtime story’s about the team but not the alien stuff. Just silly things about them, like what pizza they liked or there little odd habits
She gave Anwen a little plush pterodactyl and named it after Myfanwy
She’s both Jack’ ancestor and descendant…. It was a weird day when they discovered that one.
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youtube
#torchwood#torchwood edit#captain jack harkness#gwen cooper#suzie costello#toshiko sato#owen harper#ianto jones#Youtube
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