Today in Hip Hop History:

Kanye West released his debut album College Dropout February 10, 2004

I love that Adam ruins everything has just slowly evolved into Adam explains how capitalism is a human meat grinder into which we are all slowly falling

if you are a fan of Dimension 20, starting March 4th there will be an auction of minis and set pieces from their campaign Fantasy High: Freshman Year. all profits will go to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund!

Big celebratory shoutout to disabled/mentally/chronically ill school dropouts. You’re brilliant. You’re a hero. Don’t be ashamed. In fact, be proud. Be proud that you were…

…perceptive enough to see the situation for what it was…

…smart enough to know what you needed to do…

…strong enough to defy expectations…

…brave enough to forage your own path…

…and don’t let anyone convince you that their degree makes them smarter than you. or better than you. or more successful than you. or harder working than you. or more deserving than you. All it means is that they had better support systems. better resources. adequate accommodations. All it means is that you both had goals and plans and dreams, but the world let you down while it was seeing them though. All it means is that our society is deeply lacking both systemic and systematic equitability. And that is something to be angry or upset about, absolutely, but not ashamed of.

been chipping away at this one…. merch very soon as long as ppl like it/wanna own sticker/pin/print of it :’)

image id: handwritten text says ART SCHOOL DROPOUT and is surrounded by abstract/surreal shapes, stars, swirls, all very colorful and some overlapping each other. there are complimenting warm and cool color schemes within the piece, but the text is brightest and pops out in the middle with strong outlines. a small signature on the top says CURSEDLUVER ‘23

now that i’ve deferred because a uni degree is nothing but an entrance ticket into moderate financial security and not worth utterly obliterating my mental health over i am compiling my own curriculum. all the posts i’ve ever tagged with #ref because they contain essays articles and other texts that i want to read but have never gotten around to, all that goes on the list. around fifty academic articles and book chapters downloaded onto my laptop from jstor while i still have access to it, tailored to fit my personal interests.

rearranging my self-education. little mx autodidact. carving out a passage through the brambles with a freshly sharpened machete. make no mistake, the thorns are piercing and will continue to tear at my exposed limbs, but the pain is worth the fruits of knowledge at the end, real knowledge and not something superimposed from above. i know, i know, undergrads aren’t afforded that freedom of narrowing our study, it’s something earned with time and effort and only fully permitted at a “higher” level of education, but who determines these levels?

it sounds silly and rash, but it’s a long-deliberated decision. the university environment is not right for my weird brain despite my literary inclinations, and i prefer to select my own path towards learning while working a low paying job on the side. perhaps i’ll return in a year’s time after all, matured and mellowed, hardened or roughened with real-life experience and online self-teaching, to pursue liberal arts as the most, well, liberated pathway. maybe not.

maybe if i had gone to one of those colleges where they allow you to pick and choose your own modules for your degree entirely (like one of the people that i most admire on this website did in its time) things would have gone down differently, but alas. let the world keep turning and let everything that serves no purpose any longer decompose and compost into something new .

“what has this got to do with autism?” you may ask, “i’m autistic and i completed a normal bachelors’ degree just fine.” your answer: having been in a place of moderate autistic burnout for years that abruptly turned severe in the past few months, my bodymind has shifted into what is known rather disparagingly under the medical model as “autistic regression” or “regressive autism”: a gradual distancing further and further away from accepted neurotypical standards of moving through and navigating the world around me.

one of the ways in which this unmasking presents itself, apart from the more noticeable characteristics such as outwardly visible stimming and a complete absence of eye contact, is a total inability to focus on, be motivated by and/or engage in any (textual, literary, cinematic etc etc) materials that do not connect at least tangentially or superficially with my special interests (that being ghosts/hauntings, hauntology, folk horror, lovecraftiana/cosmic horror, horror in general, the gothic, neurodiversity, alternative music; narratives/storytelling, folklore/fairytales; queer theory; carceral abolition and liberation; and a few other subjects here unlisted). according to normative capitalist logic of usefulness and productivity, that makes me “severely disabled” by virtue of “restricted interests”. i would say it makes me a interesting person with tall twisted tales to tell, but nevermind that silly nonsense, it’s a mad person speaking.

at this present moment i have no motivation, wish nor desire to continue wasting time and energy attempting to study and remember things that do not connect with the key concepts that my mind is constantly orbiting around. if that makes me incurious or annoying or limited, so be it — this neurological difference affects every aspect of my personality and i do not wish to change it. if the world around us refuses to change, we must either alter it ourselves or construct our own pathways out of the shadows and into the moonlit garden.

was watching early Game Changer and that recent quote from Brennan about reading animal fact cards during recess as a child checks out

Head of the Class | Kanye West (2004)

Today in Hip Hop History:

Kanye West released his debut album College Dropout February 10, 2004

Kanye West and Anna Nicole Smith on set of the music video “The New Workout Plan” on August 12, 2004.

Late Orchestration, Kanye West, 24. April 2006.

Late Orchestrations is definitely a gem in the sea called Kanye West. A full orchestrated live album of songs from Collage Dropout and Late Registrations.

The set list is kind of so-so; it combines the best parts from the College Dropout and, personally, the most boring parts of Late Resgistrations. The beginning starts strong with Diamonds From Sierra Leone and Touch the Sky, but after that, it all goes downhill for a while until the pace picks up with songs like Through The Wire and Workout Plan, which I find the highlights of the album. So it surely is a shame that when I try to listen to the album from start to finish, I need to get by songs that feel lacking.

Personally, it's a shame that songs like Roses, Slow Jamz, and even Mama were not included but could have had an amazing orchestral performance.

With that said, the songs that are there do feel mesmerizing, and I can even say that I find some of them more enjoyable than the original. As well, I'm glad that the soundtrack left West's interactions and crowdchers in. Personally, I prefer live albums over studio recordings for their raw feeling, and I find that you can appreciate an artist's talent on another level, which is the case here.

This was one of my first introductions to West's music, and I must say that after this, it was hard to get into his more experimental, newer things.

It definitely is a starting point and a very good one, especially for someone who's interested in mashups of classical and hip-hop, but that said, it's not representative of his career as a whole. Late Orchestrations marked a milestone of two great albums, and it definitely shows, and for any fan of his or hip-hop in general who is interested in hearing his songs in an altered way, it is definitely a good listen.

All in all, this is not a bad live album. For me, not his most must-hear thing, but definitely a good one to accompany the two albums before.

I would give it a: try it, you may find it enjoyable.

If you found my review worth discussing in any way, I'm happy to do so.

Yours trully,

MJ.10.

Art school Dropout

As someone who wants to drop out of art school and is getting a lot of push back from their parents about it. I wanna know what people think. I see myself as just a creator I just to create things. I get great ideas and love executing them. I wanna create my own bespoke furniture line of very much sculptural art that can be used as furniture by people. I honestly have big plans and goals for myself and I currently don’t feel like art school is the way for me to get there at this very moment. I have gut feeling that it isn’t the best possible way for me to accomplish. I am currently at Parsons school of design as a fine art major and I honestly just think the whole thing is stupid. in the past, school was definitely a place to gain access to knowledge that not all people where able to have. Information was a lot more gated. In this age of the internet that just isn’t the case anymore. I’ve been “studying” art in school for 5 years now (about to finish my first year at parsons the other 4 were at school). But everything I’ve learnt about creating has been through creating.

I understand school can give you access to facilities but with the money spent on school you could buy all your own equipment and keep it FOR LIFE and not just 3/4 years. I honestly think if people invested the money they spend on school on just themselves and strategically mapped out what would be best for them personally people would be a lot happier and better off. Anyways. I do worry that sometimes im being delusional in thinking I can sell my crochet and get an paid Apprenticeship in furniture design. I wanna work along side from an actual designer and learn how to make the shit I wanna make gaddamn. I also really wanna go back to London as that’s where im originally from and studying abroad aint it. Its interesting to see how my parents are so hell bent on the idea that an “education” is everything when I believe there are better more effective ways to learn and grow as a person, than just getting a degree.