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incorrect-quotes-at-random · 10 months

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Coën: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A.

Triss: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

Lambert: Fuck you.

#source: perchance generator #netflix the witcher #the witcher #the witcher netflix #twn #witcher coën #witcher coen #coen the witcher #coën #coen #triss the witcher #witcher triss #triss merigold #lambert #lambert the witcher #witcher lambert #lambert witcher #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes

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finleycannotdraw · 2 years

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ITS THEM,,,,

THE KAER MORONS,,,

show designs bc I have not played the games or read the books (yet)

eskel is there because fuck you canon

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #cirilla fiona elen riannon #ciri the witcher #lambert the witcher #coen the witcher #witcher eskel #finley cannot draw #kaer morons #THAT JS MY FAVORITE THING #THE KAER MORONS. FUCK DUDE THATS WHAT THEY ARE.#vesemir jaskier and yennefer are watching this happen gleefully #(it was ciri’s idea)#geralt loves his daughter but wants to look cool in front of jaskier 💀

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queenxxxsupreme · 9 months

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Hiiii! Thank you so much for everything you've written so far. I love your stories and they keep me going. If you're still feeling up to it ad inspired, can I please ask for a part 3 for Coen and sunshine? Maybe where the girls are getting lessons and mom is adjusting? Or anything really <3 I love the first two parts

A/N: I am so sorry that this has taken so long!!! I am trying to get back into writing because I really do miss it. I hope this is good and to your liking babe! It's been a hot second since I wrote/posted anything :) If you haven't read this little mini-series before, here is the first one and here is the second one <3 Also because I have been radio silent for a while, I am not going to tag anyone in anything for the time being. I'm sorry!!

Coen guided you into the keep, allowing you to lean against him as you wished.

“Perhaps later on if the weather is nice, I can take you up to one of the towers.” He looked over to you. “The view is breathtaking.”

“Oh really?”

“We could watch the sunset from up there.”

“I want to watch the sun set!” Edda nosily butted into your conversation, grabbing yours and Coen’s arms.

“When the weather permits it, love.” You told her.

“And here I was hoping that I would have a good day.” A raven haired woman sighed as she approached you, your girls, and Coen. By her side was a blonde girl.

“Ah, Yennefer.” Coen sighed, shoulders falling in disappointment. “Didn’t think you still had Geralt by the bullocks.”

The woman, Yennefer, smiled stiffly at Coen, taking note of your two girls that stood just a few feet in front of her. They were between herself and the witcher.

“Coen. I had hoped you were eaten by a forktail.”

“Wish in one hand, shit in the other, they say.”

“That’s a very rude thing to say to a lady.” Edda’s brows were furrowed together as she looked up at Yennefer.

The mage turned her attention to your daughter, amused with her fire.

“Edda, be quiet.” You hushed her, placing your hand on the back of her head.

“I’m not convinced she is a lady.” Coen told her. “Ladies, this is Yennefer and Ciri. Yenn and Ciri, this is Y/N, Odette, and Edda.”

Being the chatty, friendly girl she was, Odette instantly took a liking to Ciri. She moved towards the princess and started a conversation.

Edda gravitated to wherever her sister went and before you knew it, the girls were making their way down the hall.

You were a little more focused on Yennefer. The way she had been watching Edda had you a bit concerned.

“That one is–,”

“She’s got quite the personality, yes.” Coen spoke hastily, cutting Yennefer off.

The mage glared at him.

“Come on, Y/N. I want to show you a few more places in the keep.”

Coen seemed to rush you away from Yennefer, leaving the mage to roll her eyes and teleport out of the hall.

“I’ve never seen you act so rude to someone so quickly.” You commented.

“Once you get to know Yennefer, you’ll understand.”

“I’m sure she isn’t that bad.”

“She is demanding and rather pompous.”

Your eyes lingered on the girls ahead.

“Ciri is quite powerful.” You murmured quietly. “Her chaos is almost nauseating to me. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to you.”

“It is unpleasant, but it’s a feeling I am doing my best to ignore.” Coen shrugged his broad shoulders. “Y/N, questions will be asked about Edda.”

You turned your head to look at him, brows drawing together with concern.

“What sort of questions?”

“Of her chaos.”

You studied his profile until he decided to meet your gaze. You came to a stop, allowing more distance to fall between yourself and Coen, and the girls. Blue and green eyes looked at you for a few heartbeats before he looked away.

“Don’t look at me like that, Y/N–,”

“Her chaos is not important to anyone besides myself, Coen.”

“I know, Y/N, and I know you value the privacy of the matter, but I also know my brothers. I’m genuinely surprised they didn’t lead with that question when we arrived.”

You started to walk again, clasping your hands together at your waist.

Coen took your wrist, pulling you back towards him.

“Chaos is not something to be taken lightly, Y/N.” He spoke gently. “I know you have a plan for Edda, but the others don’t.”

“It is none of their concern.”

“You are considered family to them, my love.” He brought his hand down to lace your fingers together.

“They have only just met me and the girls.”

“But they’ve heard stories of you for the last four years. They know how much you mean to me, how much the girls mean to me.”

You squeezed his fingers but turned your head away. Your stomach ached with the possibility of anything happening to your youngest daughter.

“We can speak of the matter later should it arise.” Coen suggested. “You don’t need to be stressing over it right now.”

“I don’t want to speak of the matter at all. My decision is final.” You pulled your hand from his and continued down the hallway.

***

You and Coen followed behind Ciri, Odette, and Edda as they went outside and to an area in the courtyard designated for training.

Lambert and Eskel were going at it with swords while Vesemir critiqued them. Geralt and Jaskier stood off to the side. Geralt leaned against a stone wall while Jaskier sat on the wall.

“Have either of you ever used a sword before?” Ciri asked the girls.

“No.” Odette shook her head.

“Never.” Edda messed with her fingers at her waist.

You watched as Cirilla moved to a barrel and from it, she produced three wooden swords. Your hands fell to your sides at the sight.

From across the courtyard, Geralt could hear your heart pick up pace. You were nervous.

“Ciri.” His deep voice made all three girls turn their attention to him. “You should ask their mother before providing them with swords.”

“They aren’t real swords, Geralt.”

“It’s alright, Geralt.” Coen’s hand lingered on your back in an effort to comfort you. He could practically feel your anxiety lingering in the air. “The girls have never used swords before. Why don’t you and Ciri show them how it’s done first?”

Geralt pushed himself away from the wall and went to his Child Surprise.

“It wouldn’t hurt for the girls to learn how to wield a sword.” Coen spoke quietly to you.

“I don’t like the idea of them fighting.” You shook your head. “They are young.”

“No one is going to send them off to war, sunshine.” He smiled a little. “It is good for them to know how to protect themselves should they need it.”

You said nothing. Your teeth clenched together tightly.

“You worry worse than anyone I know.”

“I just…. Just want them safe.”

Coen was quiet for a few moments before he moved his hand from your back to your wrist.

“Come with me.”

“What? But the girls just started–,”

“They can stay here. Geralt will watch over them.”

You turned your head to look at the White Wolf. His eyes were on you and as if to confirm Coen’s words, he nodded his head once. He had heard his brother speak even though they weren’t near each other thanks to their witcher mutations.

“Where are we going?”

***

Coen led you to a tower on the northeast side of the keep. Being so high up, the wind was a bit more biting. Coen shrugged off his cloak and placed it around your shoulders.

“It is beautiful up here.” You moved towards the side, one hand holding the cloak around you while the other found this stone wall that prevented anyone from falling.

“It is.” Coen settled next to you, his hand on the small of your back. “All of your worrying, Y/N, it will lead you to an early grave.”

You turned your head to look at him, admiring his side profile.

“If I didn’t worry about them, I wouldn’t be a good mother. If something ever happened to either of them…. I would never forgive myself, Coen.”

“Things will happen to them that you have no control over. Don’t let it overtake you.”

You looked away. Your eyes flickered down to the stone beneath your feet.

“I have seen the cruelties this world has to offer. I-I can’t help but want to worry over their safety.”

“Oh, my darling sunshine.” Coen moved to leave against the stone wall with his hands. “Believe it or not, but I have as well. Becoming a witcher isn’t done with a gentle hand and tender words.”

He motioned for you to come to him. You obliged, allowing him to hold you close as you both looked out over the mountains.

“But children need to experience the world from a young age. Otherwise they won’t be able to survive it once they are set free to begin their own lives.”

“Since when did you become so poetic?” You teased, pushing your shoulder into his chest. He chuckled, shaking his head softly.

“I think Vesemir’s rubbing off on me.”

You looked away from him for a few moments before your eyes began to wander back to him.

“Thank you.” You leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“Anything for you, sunshine.”

#the witcher #the Witcher netflix #Coen x reader #Coen the Witcher #Coen netflix #Netflix #Coen #coen fic

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bluedillylee · 7 months

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Jaskier gets a lute and a wifey (˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.

Yennefer was so flustered she accepted Jaskier’s proposal without thinking (*/ω＼)

the lute has buttercups on it btw .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

#The witcher #witcher netflix #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #yennskier #cirilla fiona elen riannon #ciri #vesemir #eskel #geralt #lambert #coen #comic #long post

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yenvengerberg · 1 year

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hannibard · 3 months

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I always find it funny when Kaer Morhen witchers call each other wolf. It's like calling your sibling by your shared last name.

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thedemonofcat · 2 months

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To put it nicely, It’s widely known that the Pankratz family are very open about who they love. To put it bluntly, they're a family of slut’s

Soon, it’s discovered that every member of Kear Morhen has, at one point been in a relationship with a Pankratz.

Vessimir was in one with Jaskier's Grandmother, apparently even when Jaskier’s father was born. They're looking into that.

Eskel had a minor fling with Jaskier's sister one summer.

Lamber and Aiden were in a threesome with one of Jaskier's uncles

Coen at a one-night stand with Jaskier's brother

Not even Yennefer, who had a brief encounter with Jaskier's cousin.

Currently, Ciri has not been at any meeting with the Pankratz family. Which is probably a good thing since her Jaskier happens to be a distant cousins.

And there, Geralt and Jaskier

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fandom-junk-drawer · 4 months

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Jaskier upon walking into Kaer Morhen's Great Hall and seeing that it is officially Gray Sweatpants Season!

#the witcher #twn #the witcher netflix #the witcher memes #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geralt #geralt of rivia #geraskier #eskel #coen #aiden #lambert #vesemir #kaer morons

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supercupcakecollector-love · 5 months

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Unraveling the fanon or canon bits in the witcher through out the different canons is a mess, for example, people think Coen is from the Griffin School, and even criticized the show for making him a wolf, when its not mentioned in the books at all that he’s a griffin

The Griffin school isn’t even mentioned until Lady of the Lake and thats only once, and its not the one scene where Coen shows up

Or Sorceresses being sterile due to the effect of magical energy on their bodies despite Geralt’s mother being established as one ( since she appeared in the very first witcher story before the saga envisioned im guessing this is a case of “ the author not coming up with that part of canon yet”)

#the witcher #the witcher books #witcher Coen #witcher #canon vs fanon

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jonkentsglasses · 1 year

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IN THE SPAN OF THE SAME FUCKING WEEK WE GET SUPERMAN BUT LOSE GERALT

HENRY SAID THAT HE'LL ONLY CONTINUE THEE ROLE IF THE SHOW STAYED TRUE TO THE BOOKS. NETFLIX IF TOU CAN'T EVEN STAY TRUE TO A FUCKING BOOK THEN CANCEL THE FUCKING SHOW

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incorrect-quotes-at-random · 1 year

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Ciri: Alright, who’s hogging the Netflix account? I’ve been locked out all week!

Coën: Sucks to suck! I’m already on the 8th season of Friends!

Geralt: Not me.

Ciri: Don’t lie. I know it’s not Jaskier or Lambert.

Geralt: It’s not me, really!

Ciri: …

Geralt: …But it might be Yennefer…

Ciri: You gave Yennefer access to our Netflix account!?!?

Geralt: She wanted to watch Orange is the New Black!

Ciri: I’m going to kill you.

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queenxxxsupreme · 2 years

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Hi, just wanted say you got me hooked on Coen fics. This has probably already been requested but I’m going to request it just in case but can you please do a part 2 (or more because I think this would be an adorable series) of your fic with Coen and his single mom reader with the 2 girls.

A/N: Hi babe! Here is part 2 to this fic :) I plan on making a few more fics in this universe with Coen and his single mom SO, I just need to figure out plots for those fics!

Warnings: nothing outside of canon

You let out a sleepy groan, reaching out for Edda. She had fallen asleep in the middle of the bed between you and her sister.

As your arm reached out what should have only been a few inches, you found yourself reaching further and further across the bed until your fingers touched the stone cold wall on the other side.

A bit confused, you opened your eyes and lifted your head to see how the girls were laying. To your shock, you were alone in the bed.

“Edda?” You sat up quickly, your heart beginning to race.

Where were your girls? Why had they left without telling you? Where could they have gone?

“Odette?”

The room was entirely empty. Your voice echoed off of the high ceiling.

Hastily, you climbed out of the bed and pulled on your cloak before deciding that you would try to make your way through the massive keep to find your daughters.

You pulled the heavy door open and stepped out into the hall.You looked both ways, but ultimately you decided to go in the direction that you came from the previous night.

***

Your thumping heart echoed in your eardrums as you hurried down the old stone staircase, retreating your steps from the previous night. You had no idea if you were even headed in the right direction. You could only hope you weren’t getting yourself lost.

You pushed a door at the bottom of the staircase open and immediately ran into what felt like a brick wall.

“Easy there, woman.” Lambert chuckled. “What’s got you runnin’ like a bat out of hell? Seen a rat or something?”

“I’m looking for my girls.” You explained sheepishly. “They-They weren’t in the room when I woke up. Have you seen them?”

“I haven’t. I don’t reckon they’d have gotten very far.”

“Have you seen Coen?”

“I was just looking for the bastard myself.”

Anxiety swirled in your stomach.

“Could you help me find them? My girls?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Lambert nodded his head. Why were you so panicked? “Come on.”

You began to follow along behind him, picking your fingers as you tried not to think of what sort of trouble your girls could’ve gotten into.

“You so bent out of shape ‘cause they’re out of sight in a witcher’s keep?”

You looked up at the back of Lambert’s head.

“N-No. That’s not it.”

He snorted as if he didn’t believe you.

“I don’t like not knowing where they are. Especially in an unfamiliar place.”

***

After nearly fifteen minutes of searching, you found your girls and Coen in one of the courtyards.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Coen greeted you with a warm smile.

“I’ve been looking all over for you both.” You embraced Edda as she approached you. Odette came to your side as well.

“We’ve been out with Coen.” Odette said.

“He showed us around the castle!” Edda exclaimed.

“That sounds lovely.” Your eyes flickered over to your witcher.

“They were up early, and I didn’t want to bother you.” He smiled sheepishly.

“Next time, I would appreciate a note telling me where you’ve run off to. You know how I worry.”

“Irrationally so.” Edda groaned.

You watched your girls make their way into the keep. Your arms came up to cross over your chest.

An arm slipped around your waist. Coen kissed the side of your head.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You turned your head to look at him once the girls were out of sight.

“I didn’t think about it.”

“It’s alright.” You murmured quietly, taking a few steps away from him so that you could follow Edda and Odette.

“Hey.” He spoke softly, his hand clasping your arm to make you stop. “I can hear how your heart still beats frantically. You were scared.”

“I was.” You admitted with a little nod of your head. “I don’t like not knowing where they are. Especially somewhere I am not familiar with.”

He started to walk alongside you. The both of you walked slowly towards the keep.

“Because it’s a home for witchers?”

“No, that isn’t the reason, Coen. And to know that you think that is why makes me upset, you know. Being around your family— no matter who they are or what their occupation is —does not change the fact that I do not like the girls going where I don’t know they are.”

He was silent for a few moments.

“Do you worry something will happen to them in my care?” His voice was quiet.

You stopped walking and turned to face him.

You weren’t sure if he was implying that you were fearful he would do something.

“I worry constantly about them.” You looked up at him. “Even when they are within my sight, I worry.”

“You know that I would lay down my life before ever letting anything harm them, don’t you?”

The smile that came to your lips was one of conflicting emotions. There was an indescribable feeling that came from knowing the man you loved would do anything to protect your girls. But the very thought of harm coming their way and resulting in his death made your stomach churn.

“I know you would, Coen. You love them like you’re own.”

He stepped closer to you, reaching his hand up to cup your cheek.

“I’m sorry I didn’t leave a note.” His words were breathed against your forehead. “I will if it happens again.”

You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch.

Taglist: @samuraigrl89 @burningcoffeetimetravelavel @open--till--midnightl--midnight @beautifulswalloweetschaos @gm_abbo @thefirelordm @here4thespice @many-fandoms-lover @one-eyed-captain-kinky @sparrowsparadise @bluscryn @blushingskywalker @buckysxgal @lady-of-glass-and-bone @super-calithehamm @invelda @eddyofthetruth @hc-geralt-23 @persephonehemingway @adhdhufflepuff @Purple-Tsuki @bitquirkydoe

It isn't let me tag anyone right now so I will try again later :(

#coen x reader #coen the witcher #the witcher coen #coen x reader fluff #coen #the witcher netflix #netflix #witcher #queenxxxsupreme

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bluedillylee · 1 year

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Yennefer helps Jaskier get reunited with his terrible cat at kaer morhen. Jaskier’s semi-feral cat only allows Jaskier to pet him but he will sit next to yennefer’s feet and does allow ciri to to play with him.

The witchers on the other hand live in terror of surprise ankle attacks

#the witcher #witcher netflix #jaskier #Yennefer of Vengerberg #Jaskier adopts a cat #ciri #geralt #coen #lambert #vesemir

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random-apollo-child · 11 months

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Jaskier chillin in kaer morhen singing with Geralt laughing and hanging his arms around him

Lambert: Is Geralt laughing how does the bard make him laugh

Yennefer: I don't know they have known each other for years almost 24 years I think

Coën: 24 years? Jeez how the hell did they meet and when did they meet?

Jaskier: You know you can just ask us, right? Yennefer doesn't have all the details

Lambert: Ok then how did you guys meet

Jaskier: Well Geralt was brooding in the corner of a tav-

Geralt: I was not brooding

Jaskier: Bull shit now let me finish, now. Geralt was brooding in the corner of a tavern when young and finish 18 year old me saw him and started to follow him and he never got rid of me

Geralt: Hell I had to save his life once remember that Yen?

Yennefer: Oh how could I forget about what you guys say is your biggest argument (in a moking tone) "how's my singing Geralt" "it's like ordering a pie and finding it has no filling" "you- you need a nap"

Jaskier: Oh ha ha ha very fucking funny

Geralt: Yennefer shut the fuck up

*The other witchers cracking up"

@help-help-i-need-an-adult

#jaskier #dandelion #geraskier #the witcher #witcher geralt #julian alfred pankratz #witcher dandelion #geralt of rivia #geralt #geralt x jaskier #geralt x dandelion #yennefer of vengerberg #yennefer #coën #coen #lambert #witcher lambert

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0dde11eth · 4 months

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Drunk witchers (geralt especially) dance like wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men

#my nonsense #geralt #witcher facts #lambert #eskel #papa vesemir #coen #aiden #letho #vesemir

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thedemonofcat · 3 months

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Contrary to common belief, Jaskier excels as a spy due to his natural affinity for gossip.

When Geralt began inviting him to winter at Kaer Morhen, Jaskier initially underestimated how tedious it would be. To alleviate his boredom, he employs his spying abilities on those around him and later shares his findings with Geralt, revealing details Geralt may have preferred not to know about their fellow wintering companions at Kaer Morhen.

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