Shut up, we're keeping him!

@0dde11eth @help-help-i-need-an-adult @fandom-junk-drawer @97buttons @thequeeninyellowlace @catscraftsandcommentary @random-apollo-child

Jaskier over there like:

"Dear diary, it's day 5 of being lost in a godsforasken cave because Geralt was opposed to stopping to ask for directions."

Caves are weirder and more varied than you think

This is beautiful! Geralt would be so embarrassed. He'd probably dissociate. Just go off to his happy place and then snap back to reality several minutes later to find himself sitting down with Jaskier clutching the book to his chest, with just the softest look in his face.

Prompt 14

Jaskier is sure Geralt ignores most of what he says. That is, until Geralt leaves his journal behind when he goes to hunt one day. Jaskier trips on it and goes to put it in his pack, light-heartedly muttering to Roach about how much of a slob that man is, before seeing his name plastered all over the page. He takes a deep breath and prepares himself to read a page filled with nothing but insults and a rant of how annoying Jaskier must be, only to find out the journal is filled with paragraph after paragraph of loving descriptions and insights into everything Jaskier speaks or sings about, including the occasional highly-detailed sketch of him, made with love. Jaskier reads page after page after page after page after page, and only stops when interrupted by Geralt's shocked intake of breath as he comes back to camp.

okay but i'm HOWLING about the idea of post-mountain jask trying to get himself law of surprised to geralt

don't wanna stay with him by choice?

FINE BITCH YOU'RE STAYING BY FATE

OH GREAT JOB WITH THAT HUNT. WHAT DO YOU GET IN EXCHANGE???

TWO MIDDLE FINGERS FROM YOUR BRAND NEW BARD, MOTHERFUCKER

Everybody stand back, It's happening! I'm summoning-!

*magical poof! sound*

*confused mwaaaawwwp!*

@0dde11eth @help-help-i-need-an-adult @fandom-junk-drawer @97buttons @thequeeninyellowlace @catscraftsandcommentary @random-apollo-child

I think about you all the time...because you are annoying all the time

Did you think about me today or do I have to be more annoying?

Babey Joey from the John Lindford's Flickr

Someone got their feathers ruffled!

Jaskier the next day when Geralt comes down for breakfast:

LOL, White Chocolate in the HOUUUSSE!

Lambert: What if people had food names and food had people names? Aiden: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Lambert for dinner. Geralt: What is wrong with you two? Lambert: Shut up, white chocolate.

Joey's shirt just out there doing the Lord's work. It's holding up against those biceps like a champ. And that collar just falling open...

I let the pro make better gifs but I had to make my potato ones 😁🥰

Joey's shirt is the real hero here! The sleeves are holding up to his arms like champs, and that loose, open collar...

Joey Batey at the table reading for season 4 of Netflix's The Witcher.

Plot twist, Yennefer made him put his head out the window and scream so they could get through traffic faster!

Incorrect Witcher Quotes

Yen: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Geralt: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital Yen: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you. Geralt: but I heard a siren. Yen: That was Jaskier screaming.

@0dde11eth

Jaskier just 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 the whole time!

Incorrect Witcher Quotes

Yen: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Geralt: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital Yen: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you. Geralt: but I heard a siren. Yen: That was Jaskier screaming.

Yennefer: treat Jaskier better or we're done 😤

I would have passed out from laughing!

last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere

i wasn’t joking

The Wink and The ARMS

I caught The Wink!