#cause it was gonna go in a big ass pride flag or whatever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fullsunalicia · 4 years

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Hi omg 🥺🥺 I was wondering if you could do a nct 127 reaction to their bisexual latinx s/o dressing alternative and being activist? Like going to blm activities and equal rights and pride I'm sorry if it's too specific 🥺 ilysm 🥺!!!

no problem at all my love !!!! ilysm too, thank you for your request!!

Moon Taeil

the proudest boyfriend ever. this is a common fact for everyone in nct. everyone, taeil included, would be so proud to have a girlfriend like you.

your no. 1 supporter! though it’s harder for him to attend protests for example because sm sucks and deserves to get their ass beat, since they can clearly rip off black artists but not acknowledge/help them, he still does everything in his power to support you!

need help with getting there and there to attend a demo? you got it! need a helping hand with drawing leaflets? you got it! write down ways you can safely protest and hide your face? he’s already making notes on a hk protest video!

Lee Taeyong

like taeil, taeyong is very supportive and goes out of his way to help you! he likes helping you with posters and other little things that can be helpful for protests - some solution for when you get teargassed, for example.

y’all have seen the way he stands up to his managers lmao. though it would be a little harder than exposing his managers on vlive, he’d still try to help on sns in a subtle way. a lysn bubble update with the date of the blm demo, maybe... very inch resting, ty doesnt know how that got there.............

in terms of dressing alt, you’ve got yourself a fanboy!! our fashion icon taeyong adores your sense of fashion and always watches you pick out fits. wants you to shop for him, aswell!! they’re such cool looks!

Seo Johnny

man the way he would be EXPLODING from pride. that’s his gf right here!!! his perfect little activist gf saving the world!! catch him crying in a ditch johnny loves you so MUCH

since he grew up in the states and experienced those problems firsthand, johnny would definitely make an attempt to join you on protests. whether that’s blm, pride or equal rights. he believes in you and he believes in those causes. will definitely get in trouble for secretly attending a demo with you!!

the biggest fucking ally ever omg. whether it took you some time to tell johnny or saying it right at the start, he supports you for your sexuality and never once makes you feel weird about it. nor insecure! he just fell in love with you HARD

Nakamoto Yuta

MAN... y’all already know yuta would join you on every. single. demo. he’s the loudest protestor on the goddamn street. I SAY LESBIAN YOU SAY ALLY. watch him raise up a lesbian flag and yell profanities at homophobic ass people

yuta is already so so vocal with his open support for lgbtq and others!!! this man is a feminist to the blood, to the bone. you got yourself the perfect boyfriend ma’am. hot and educated? goddamn

y’all are that activist power couple that is cheered on every protest!!!! he supports you! your causes are his causes!!!!! literally the perfect match

Kim Doyoung

this is so self explanatory i’m gonna CRY from laughter. everything about this man screams ally. will beat anyone up that belittles you for your sexuality, or anyone else in that matter

that vlive where the czennie talked about an unrequited love and he went “it could be a boy loving a boy, or a girl loving a girl, we don’t know that.” man....... kim doyoung, your hand in marriage juseyo??

like yuta, he is right beside you aiding your beliefs. he loves you so much, it’s only fair he does the best he can to support you. i love him

Jung Jaehyun

this man is so in awe at your fashion sense he literally annoys your ass for ootd pictures. spams you until he gets all the deeds. very obnoxious but also very cute, it’s quite an ego boost to have the jung jaehyun as a hype man!!

it’s not a big thing to him that you’re bisexual - he acknowledges it and supports you with all his heart. no matter what your sexuality is. there’s not a single inch of you he doesn’t love or adore or support. he literally has love beams shooting out of his eyes !!

has to be physically restrained to not attend demos with you LMAOOO, there’s a picture of him floating on sns where he raises you up so your poster is seen. power couple coming through to support blm and pride!!! move, homophobes !!!!!

Kim Jungwoo

jungwoo is someone i think who’s a little clueless to the causes you’re fighting for - not in an ignorant sense! i don’t know how to explain it, but i think jungwoo would realize through you what problems the people around him face, and then it’s just one big shocking realization for him

after that, he becomes an avid supporter!! again, sm is trash, but jungwoo would still try to spread your message about protests and petitions that can help. quite literally does not care if he is punished or not LMAO

is the first one to beat a mf’s ass up for fetishizing your bisexuality. that’s his queen and other queens/kings you’re insulting bitch, better get ready for an ass beating

Dong Sicheng

tbh i don’t see him reacting that much to you being bisexual??? i mean sicheng supports you 1000000% but it’s not a life-changing thing. you’re still his perfect y/n, who he loves with heart and soul.

as a chinese idol in nct, he would have it the hardest to support you. but that does not stop him, even though it gets dangerous every once in a while. my heart hurts thinking about how sm treats him hhhhh i’m gonna cry

again, the proudest boyfriend ever!!!! i know i’m kind of repeating myself, but they’re all just supportive! sicheng loves you so much and is filled with so much pride that his girlfriend is fighting for whats right. his heart aches to be with you on the streets :(

Mark Lee

the biggest himbo ally ever LMAODJSHSH. i’m so sorry for the slander mark but that’s the first thing that came to my mind 😭😂

gets quite literally angry with you at the problems in the world. like sicheng, he wishes to be with you marching through the streets. equal rights should be a given and it makes him so mad that people have to protest for them. so mad!

does whatever he can to help you. mark lee is so in love with you, he’d drop anything and everything to help you. say the word and he’ll do it! i’m soft

Lee Donghyuck

y’all know that one tumblr post? he’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit? yeah that’s donghyuck HDHDBDB

like mark, he is so utterly confused why the things you’re fighting for aren’t already a given?? i??????????? his girlfriend is literally a latinx bi queen, and she’s AMAZING. openly bashes people on sns for biphobic, homophobic, or anything else discriminatory on that matter.

though he’s a little clueless on how he can help you, he still tries his best! not only does he ask you, but also his foreign czennies. hyuck makes the effort to spread your messages to k-netizens, and though it’s hard since sm sucks ass, he still shows open solidarity. that’s his girlfriend protesting on the streets, together with all the people who fight to make things right. he’s gonna make sure your voices are heard.

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marvels-writings · 4 years

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Hey! Are you willing to write a Carol x R involving a best friend who was separated from other best friend for whatever reason (maybe a childhood crush and homophobic parents? idk) and then both grew up and ran into each other, reconnected/fell in love for real? possible plot twist, with R being on the Avengers, but disappearing during snap, and Carol doesn't find out its R until during or after the final battle? please make it angsty w/fluff

Lost Crushes (1)

A/N: Okay the request confused me a little, Carol knows its R the second they introduce. This is gonna be a long series tho. (m/n means mother name. f/n means father name). And for the record, I DO NOT SUPPORT HOMOPHOBIA OR DISCRIMINATION OF ANY FORM

Warnings: Homophobic scene (kinda in detail, sorry)

You tiredly made your way from your bed to the kitchen of the compound, completely exhausted from the mission and your current lack of sleep. Currently, you couldn’t stop having dreams, almost nightmares about your best friend, Carol Danvers.

Usually girls got their first crush while watching TV and thinking ‘wow that guy/girl is hot’. You on the other hand, had gotten your first crush while watching Carol race when the two of you were 8. She got hurt, but didn’t really care to be honest. She was pretty, willing to stand up for herself, and nice.

You groaned and chugged a glass of water, you hadn’t seen her in years, the two of you had gone separate ways, thanks to your parents…

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

“No y/n, this is not normal.” M/n yelled angrily, her fist slamming on the table causing you to flinch.

Little 5 year old you swirled your fork in your spaghetti and meatballs. With expired sauce.

“But we just kissed,” You replied earnestly, causing both of your parents to groan and sit down on either side of you. “It’s not that big a deal.”“IT IS A BIG DEAL!” F/n shouted, banging his fist on the table, you looked up at him in fear and shocked. He lowered his voice slightly. “You can’t just, KISS A GIRL! You’re spoiling our reputation!”

“We are NOT going to be dealing with a lesbian when we move to New York,” M/n said and got up, you were shocked as you looked up at her. “Are we sweetie?” She asked, almost threatening as she started emptied the dishwasher.

“We’re moving to New York?” You asked, your fork dropped, your dad sighed. Not a tired sigh, an angry frustrated sigh.

“Thanks to you.” He muttered and got up to comfort his wife.

The next day you went to Carol’s house to find her parents wouldn’t let you in. Her brother came to the door and apologized but sent her away. But one thing you remember distinctly is hearing faint sobbing from Carol’s room.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

It’s a memory you definitely wanted to forget. You had moved away, well kind of got kicked out by your parents for your sexuality the second you were able to support yourself. The first thing you did, attend a LGBTQ+ pride parade, then sent them a flag by mail.

It was fun after you moved out, you got a job in SHIELD after working in a coffee shop for sometime. You got the job through Fury when he’d come to the cafe. After watching you kick the ass of two homophobic assholes, he decided you should come to SHIELD with him.

One thing led to another, and you, Coulson and Fury were working for SHIELD and on the case of a mysterious blonde breaking into Blockbuster. You sat it out, deciding to collect data instead of getting with everything.

Turned out, the blonde was trying to warn everyone about some alien race invading the planet. Once Fury saw it, he tried to pursue the blonde, who’s name he said was Vers. weird name. He paged the entire team to come help him with the alien, you had to go of course.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

You saw Fury running away with someone and took a deep sigh, deciding to go with them and sending Coulson back. You weren’t supposed to be on the mission anyway so no one would notice you were gone, plus they needed help.

“Carol?” You asked, dazed as you stepped back from the crates the three of you were hiding behind.

You had seen the pictures in Maria’s home of her. You had been close friends with Maria before you had to move to NYC, but you found her number in an old phonebook and kept contact with her, visiting when you could.

It always pissed you off how you’d found the phonebook and visited after Carol’s plane had crash landed.

“Who?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowed under the SHIELD hat. She looked different, the NIN white t-shirt and black jeans made her look, well, like she was still the same. The same from the pictures, the same from the stories.

“I’m Vers,” She introduced, then turned her attention back to the situation. You were stunned, after everyone got onto the plane, Fury explained everything he could to you.

5 years ago the plane had crashed, 5 years ago Carol had left, now Carol was back.

Maria was gonna have a heart attack.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

“Y/n?” Maria questioned, ducking out of her large camp behind the house. Monica ran out of the plane she was fixing and quickly ran over to hug you.

“Auntie y/n!!” She exclaimed, running over to you and hugging you, you signalled Carol and Fury to stay in the plane until you could explain a few things to Maria.

“What the hell are you doing in that?” Maria demanded, hands on her hips. She seemed more worried than aggressive.

“Um, long story, but you remember Carol right?” You asked, Monica nodded against you, pulling away slightly with one arm still around you. Maria nodded grimly. “So-”

“Auntie Carol?” Monica questioned, then quickly removing herself from you and running over to Carol and hugging her. “See I told you she wasn’t dead!” Monica looked up at Carol to see no recognition.

“I’m not who you think I am.” Carol confessed hesitantly as Monica pulled away.

“Come, come inside, all of you.” Maria said quietly, heading inside. You followed right next to her, putting on arm on her shoulder and trying to explain the best you could.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

After everything was explained, the three of you sat, chatting while Fury and Monica went to get Carol’s things.

“This is some crazy shit.” You joked, leaning back in the seat. Carol’s eyes quickly scanned over you before smiling. Maria sent a weird look her way before nodding.

“Mind your language.” Maria reminded, nodding her head towards where Monica was excitedly running in. You raised your hands in defeat, causing them to chuckle as they bantered over what happened the day she disappeared.

You couldn’t help but watch Carol, she was just so, so pretty. She flicked some hair out of her eyes once in a while, attracting your attention to her eyes. They were a beautiful mixture of green and hazel with gold specks in between.

“Auntie Carol we found your things!” Monica yelled from the other room, breaking you from your trance. Maria saw how the two of you kept staring at each other and smirked, you knew that smirk but spoke before she could.

“Let’s go, maybe you’ll remember something.” You stated, quickly. Carol looked up at you and Maria in confusion. You rolled your eyes and grabbed her wrist, pulling her over to the table.

“This is gonna be a long day.” Maria joked as the three of you approached the table.

Yeah, yeah it was.

Tag list: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @5aftermidnight, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

A/N: This is gonna be a really long story cause I wanted a perfect backstory. So, stay tuned, ew im never saying that again. Feedback is amazing, thanks!

Part 2

Part 3

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evilwickedme · 4 years

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I know we're not supposed to care about being good or bad jews, but can I ask? I'm scared to even mention I live in israel because last time I mentioned something I was harassed and accused of not caring about others. Just for stating what country I live in. I wanted to reblog a meme about Israel being filled with cats, and I relate to that because cats are everywhere, but I was scared to be harassed again. I blocked all the tags but I still see this everywhere. Do you have like, any advice?

Right so I guess this answer is gonna be complicated and simple at the same time? cause I’m obviously very open about living in Israel but like, relatively to how long I’ve been on the website - cause I joined tumblr in 2010, which is a full decade ago - I spent most of my time on here not being open about it and not talking about. Like if you paid attention you might notice that I was mutuals with a lot of Israelis who are people I know in real life (@thelordofthecats is one of my best friends, for example, and he has being Israeli in his bio) but my blog was tiny and nobody was really paying attention. I think I had managed to gain 400 followers or so by 2017, which is when I really exploded by joining jumblr and I had several relatively viral posts getting hundreds if not thousands of notes per day for a while there. And the thing is I wasn’t outspoken about being Israeli because I had a friend in high school who had several thousand followers and was actively harassed for months at a time for being Israeli and I just didn’t want to bring that attention to me. I often just plain delete controversial statements and honestly I’m not that shy about it because if I don’t agree with something I said why should I keep it up and have people come at me with “receipts” over something I don’t agree with or even just generally leads to people having so called ammo against me? So for a long time I was avoiding conflict altogether. But once I stopped avoiding conflict and became very, very outspoken about antisemitism - basically in response to CDM and the Jewish pride flag issue, and that feels like ages ago, but that was what brought me into the jumblr sphere for good - there was no real reason to hide the fact that I’m Israeli because I was already inviting trouble as is and I might as well be clear about my position as someone who lives where I live and how that obviously influences my opinions.

And okay this is clearly a bit of a wall of text but my point is that I didn’t so much choose to divulge that I was Israeli as much as there was no longer any point to hide it. If I was going to get messages telling me to burn in an oven anyway there was no real difference if it came because my parents decided to have me here and not in the States or because I dare to be Jewish, period. And a lot of that has calmed down recently - I’m not nearly as active as I was in 2017-2018, not just in jumblr but in general, as a combination of me really getting into fandoms such as TMA that go on my sideblog @queerastronauts rather than this one and of university really kicking my ass and working basically whenever not studying, so I’m not really getting any attention except for once in a while having someone reblog an old post of mine and it getting a dozen notes or so before dying off, whether in a positive or negative light (mostly positive light, thank God). But I can’t, like, go back in the closet about being Israeli - people know now, there are 2,145 of you who follow me and most of you followed me during my intense jumblr phase - so I’m sort of stuck with it now.

So, uh, I guess it’s just weighing your risks. Say what you will about tumblr, I do think that the culture has shifted over the last couple of years towards unfollowing or blocking people we don’t like instead of getting into pointless arguments with them. Or at least, that’s what I see in my personal sphere. If I see someone posting antizionist or exclusionist or whatever content I don’t agree with I just unfollow them and then I’m done with it. And if you’re a big blog, you have to weigh the risks. Big blogs tend to get hate no matter what - someone once reblogged a post of mine and called me out for being a Taylor Swift fan, of all things, and like, if that’s the worst you got against me, I’m not really bothered. So you have to decide whether or not you’re willing to also get hate for this. And it’s a pro-con situation but the truth is you don’t want the virulent antisemitic antizionists following you anyway (I’m not saying all antizionists are antisemitic, chill, I’m talking about a specific yet undeniably common type of antizionists).

Also, if you reblog that meme about the cats in Israel I posted which is honestly objectively hilarious, that’s not the same as coming out as Israeli anyway, because it’s enough for you to know someone in Israel or have visited Israel to know that’s true.

Also, if someone is being a dick towards you, point them towards me, and I will F I T E T H E M

#i/p #israel #jumblr #antizionism #jew tag #antisemitism #anonymous #ask

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thenicenamesaretaken · 4 years

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PART TWO of my Pride Bingo Series. Part One HERE. You don’t have to read it to enjoy this one, but you should, cause it’s cute.

Glitter, Rainbows, and Revelations

Written for the Pride Parade square.

No warnings. Some pre-relationship Broyo and established Dani/Ainsley. And lots of glitter and rainbows.

Malcolm inhales deeply, centering himself as he presses the balls of his feet into his yoga mat, moving smoothly from one position into the next. He focuses on his body, the stretch and burn of his muscles as he holds himself steady and focuses on taking slow, measured breaths, refusing to let his mind wander towards darker things. It’s easy to let his focus slip—he’s gone through these motions so many times he could probably do it in his sleep. If he slept, that is. But, he keeps his mind centered, along with his body.

The obnoxious buzz of his doorbell cuts through the calm, startling him enough that he loses his balance. A second later his phone pings and a text from Ainsley appears on the screen. Malcolm makes his way to the door and jams in the button for the intercom.

“You know, most people text before they arrive, not after,” he says by way of greeting.

“Whatever, bro. You gonna let me up?” Ainsley replies, voice tinny as it filters through the outdated speaker.

Malcolm sighs but buzzes her in, throwing the locks on his apartment door open before ambling back to roll up his mat, accepting with another sigh that his yoga routine is clearly finished for the morning.

He hears the door opening as he’s stashing his mat in it’s spot under the stairs, and turns to ask his little sister what it is she wants from him this time. His question dies on his lips when he sees what she’s wearing, and instead he ends up asking, “Ainsley, what the hell?”

Ainsley rolls her eyes dramatically, then flips her hair and does a little twirl. “What do you think? Parade appropriate?”

Malcolm huffs out a laugh. Of course, that’s today. The high waisted jean shorts with a fringe made of strands of beads in a rainbow of colors, and the black bandeau covered by a white leather jacket striped in bright neon colors makes much more sense. Not to mention the purple and pink streaks in her hair and the glitter covering almost every inch of skin he can see.

Then, Ainsley holds out the large canvas shopping bag that's been hanging off her shoulder and shakes it at him, a huge smile spreading across her face, and a wicked gleam in her eye. Malcolm's own grin disappears instantly as he suddenly remembers the bet he'd lost months ago, and what he'd agreed to do as a result of his defeat.

"Look, Ainsley, this really isn't a good day…" he begins, backing away from her as he glances wildly around the apartment, looking for any excuse he can find to get out of their bargain.

"No way, big brother. I won fair and square and I know for a fact you don't have a case, and don't even try to tell me you suddenly have a social life. Now here," she thrusts the bag toward him, "put these on. I don't want to be late. Chop chop."

Malcolm groans, but takes the bag. He did agree to this, of his own free will, and Ainsley had won the bet (JT and Tally were having a girl. Malcolm still doesn't know how Ainsley had been so sure, but she had him dead to rights). He trudges to the bathroom in defeat and shuts the door with just a little more force than is necessary. He drops the bag on the floor and strips out of his workout clothes. He'd barely started to work up a sweat, but out of spite he takes a quick shower anyways. He towels off, and, no longer able to delay the inevitable, reaches into the bag to see what Ainsley brought for him to wear.

"Ainsley, you have to be kidding me!" he calls out as he pulls out the first item, loud enough that he knows she can hear him even through the door.

"It's fine!" she yells back, and it sounds like she's standing right outside. "The shirt will cover the shorts, I promise. Just hurry up and get dressed!"

Malcolm groans in absolute despair, but pulls on the tight, very short, very sparkly silver shorts anyways, knowing he doesn't have a choice. The shirt is mercifully plain—a well-worn white tee with a slightly faded gay pride flag waving on the front—and as Ainsley had promised it's large enough that it falls past the shorts, covering his ass and groin and making him feel a little less exposed. He pulls the knee high rainbow socks out of the bag, taking them with him as he leaves the bathroom. He refuses to meet Ainsley's eyes, but a quick glance shows that she's smiling wider than he's seen her smile in a long time, and that in itself almost makes it worth it. Almost.

They take a cab to the parade route. He steps out of the cab behind her, and as soon as the door has shut she sprinkles a handful of glitter that seemingly appears out of nowhere all over the top of his head. He raises one unimpressed eyebrow, and she giggles.

Ainsley seems to know exactly where she wants to go, and Malcolm follows, head ducked, cheeks flaming. He's never been ashamed of being gay, never denied it when the topic came up, it’s not about that. Years in the media spotlight as a child had driven away any desire he’d ever had for attention, especially in public. This is not his happy place. But Ainsley is thriving, and he grins and bears it, for her.

Suddenly, Ainsley is squealing in delight and rushing ahead, towards…

Dani?

They two women embrace, and then, to Malcolm's utter shock, Dani pecks his sister on the lips, and when they separate their hands stay intertwined.

"Oh," he remarks when he reaches him.

Dani looks unsure for one brief moment, until she takes in his outfit, and whatever misgivings she'd had die as she lets out a loud bark of delighted laughter. Malcolm shrugs, blushing slightly and rubbing the back of his neck as he smiles back at her.

"You kids behaving?" a deep, familiar voice asks from behind him and Malcolm whirls, mouth dropping open in stunned surprise as he turns to face Gil.

"Hey, kid. Looking good," Gil says, his voice softer now as he speaks just to Malcolm.

Malcolm opens and closes his mouth several times as he tries to formulate a coherent response to Gil's presence, and his comment. As he scrambles for words, he has time to notice several things; Gil is dressed casually in faded jeans and an old Yankees shirt with torn off sleeves that's just this side of too tight. He has a little flag painted on either cheek—gay pride on one, bi pride on the other—and Malcolm is pretty sure there’s glitter in his beard. And, Gil’s eyes are traveling slowly up and down Malcolm's body in a frank and appreciative gaze that drives the breath from Malcolm's lungs and steals whatever vestiges of coherency had been left in his brain.

"What?" he whispers, eyes searching Gil's face for some sort of clue as to what in the hell is going on.

The older man reaches out to grasp the back of his neck and smiles down at him. “When Ainsley told me she’d roped you in to coming today I knew I had to join. I may have let it slip to Gil when I asked for the day off, and…” Dani explains, somewhat, as she and Ainsley step over to stand beside Malcolm and Gil.

“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world,” Gil adds, giving Malcolm a little shake.

“Uh, okay,” is all that Malcolm manages. He looks over at Ainsley, eyes wide as he struggles to come to terms with this series of revelations.

She’s smiling, softly now, as she looks back and forth between Gil and Malcolm, joy and just the hint of self-satisfaction sparkling in her eyes, and Malcolm starts to think he’s been missing something…

“C’mon, bro. We’ve got a parade to see,” she says, knocking into his shoulder with her own, hard enough to knock him off balance and send him stumbling, straight into Gil’s side.

Gil slides his hand smoothly from his neck across to his shoulder and pulls him in to a tight side hug. “We’ll talk later,” he whispers into Malcolm’s ear, and Malcolm can only nod dumbly in response.

As they walk together, Dani and Ainsley in front, hands clasped tightly, Malcolm and Gil following behind, Gil’s arm still slung loosely over Malcolm’s shoulders, Malcolm finds that he doesn’t quite mind the crowd as much as he thought he would, and thinks that he might have found his happy place after all.

#pstpridebingo #pride parade #pride #broyo #malcolm bright #gil arroyo #ainsley whitly #dani powell #fanfiction #prodigal son

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karmanticmoved · 5 years

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1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

2 notes · View notes

pongpalace · 7 years

Text

too complicated for simple labels (but they sure do help)

So @ericfuckingbittle made these incredible aro!March icons and @abominableobriens mentioned something about aro!March in a qpp with Ransom while he’s still dating Holster in their tags and so I projected all my own grey-aro feelings onto March because I’m really not sure there can ever be enough fic about romantic identities and non-romantic relationships.

March has never understood the big deal about crushes.

She’s never had one if she’s being completely honest with herself, always staying quiet when her friends started talking about whose hand they accidentally brushed and if maybe that meant they should ask them to the school dance. There was that one memorable time in the summer before Samwell when March worked at an outdoor summer camp and got tired of staying quiet while her best friend wouldn’t shut up about how much she liked her new boyfriend, how great he was, how Annie still got butterflies when he held her hand, so March said she had a crush on one of the older counsellors. He looked much better when he kept his avatars on and his mouth shut, but his tattoos were pretty cool and with the long days she worked with him, she really didn’t have the time or energy to crush on anyone else and she wanted to try having a crush anyways.

March scraped the crush after the third time she found herself talking about his calves and his ass in the ugly basketball shorts he always wore when Annie and Félix asked her about her crush during one of their biweekly “we’re-overworking-ourselves-now-to-have-money-in-the-school-year-so-treat-yoself” nights. Annie kept talking about the flowers Greg had sent to her desk job, and Félix was going on and on about the eye contact he’d make with a new barista at his favourite coffee shop and March realizes that she never actually wants to talk to her “crush” beyond planning and organizing the activities so the next time it comes up she tells them that she’s gotten over him and that’s the end of March's crush.

♠ ♠ ♠

March goes to a Samwell Pride Society meeting with April at the beginning of the second semester of their frog year. April’s been a part of the Pride Society on campus since they started; she came to Samwell knowing she liked girls way more than she liked guys (“Anything is more than zero,” she’d say with a laugh when the topic of her sexuality came up) and was somehow able to balance being an active member of the club with their volleyball schedule. If she wasn’t at the team house or with March, it was usually a safe bet that April was in the Pride office, tucked away the corner of the Student Union building with the best view of the parking lot. April made sure everyone on the volleyball team knew that they always had an open invitation to go with her to the meetings every week, but because March’s Intro to Geography course in first semester was at the same time, it takes a semester to accept April’s invitation.

The Pride office is exactly what March pictured when she thought of a place for Pride: bowl of condoms and dental dams on the desk; a shelf on the bookshelf stuffed full of pamphlets on how to have safe sex with all genders; boxes of sex toys piled up under a sign that says BINGO PRIZES DO NOT TOUCH (Liam) ; and a giant rainbow flag pinned up on the wall.

“Guys, March; March, guys,” April says, waving a hand at the two guys on the couch before jumping up onto the desk to commandeer the mouse from the gorgeous dark haired girl at the computer.

“Uh, hi guys,” March says to the room at large, moving her arm in a half aborted wave and wishing that April was better at introductions. One of the guys on the couch waves back, cheeks dimpling and nose scrunched like he’s trying not to laugh at her. The other guy pinches him in the thigh and readjusts so they sit closer together, and March takes the invitation to go sit on the couch with them.

“I’m Mason,” the pincher says. He points over his shoulder to the guy whose lap he’s practically sitting in now. “This is Eli. That’s Isabella.” Mason almost knocks Eli in the teeth when he jerks his head back at the girl behind the desk. She looks up from the computer and offers March a warm smile. March finds herself staring as Isabella is drawn back in whatever April is doing on the computer. She shakes herself out of it when more people come into the office and Mason introduces them to March in between bemoaning the updated reading list his advisor has given him for his thesis.

Isabella starts the meeting when most horizontal surfaces have someone sitting on them by acknowledging the land they’re meeting on belongs to the Wampanoag people and thanking them and the Ones who came before them. Beyond that, March loses track of the meeting as they hash out housekeeping details for the upcoming fundraiser. Her eye gets caught on a poster with the same rainbow flag as the one on the wall at the top and a colourful assortment of other pride flags and their meaning underneath.

There’s apparently nothing else on the agenda other than the fundraising problem because as it gets solved, people start leaving. March stands when Mason and Eli stand, leaving with a fist bump and a salute, but April is still at the computer talking with someone so March continues to stare at the poster. She’s stuck trying to work out what aromantic means, when someone clears their throat. She jumps to see Isabella beside her.

“Oh sorry,” Isabella says, tucking a strand of hair behind her left ear from where it’s escaped her braid. “I just wanted to ask if you enjoyed the meeting.” Her smile is even better up close.

“I did, yeah,” March replies. She didn’t hear a word past the greeting, but she thinks she’s learned most of the identities that make up the LGBTQA+ acronym and their accompanying flags, plus some extras that she didn’t even know existed.

“Kinda overwhelming, isn’t it?” Isabella asks. She jerks her chin towards the poster, having seemingly followed where March’s gaze found the green-white-grey-black flag of aromanticism again.

“There’s so many labels,” March says.

Isabella laughs softly. “They’re are good for people who want them. Especially when you’re usually marginalized by the mainstream, it’s nice to have something to claim as yours, y'know?”

March nods absently, not sure she can really relate. Her experience isn’t much to write home about, but she does know that she likes doing things with men and women. No one has ever made her feel bad about either so she never really thought to give herself a label. Bisexual probably fits if she needs one but doesn’t know enough to decisively choose.

“What’s 'aromantic' mean?” March asks suddenly, stuck on the different ending.

“Do you understand what asexuality is?” Isabella asks. March hesitates before she nods, Félix was pretty vague on the details when he told her about himself, so Isabella explains anyways.

“So simply put, asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction right? Aro is basically the same except it’s the absence of romantic attraction.”

“Romantic attraction?” March hasn’t ever heard the two words put together like that.

“Uh, the part of you that wants to like um, date someone. Crushes and stuff.” Isabella gives March a moment to consider that before speaking again. “So you gonna come back to another meeting?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Isabella’s responding smile is dazzling.

After her second Pride meeting, March goes back to the apartment Isabella shares with two other poli-sci majors. They’re almost caught bare-assed on the couch but Isabella was smart enough to lock the deadbolt when they came in so March is able to grab their clothes and run as directed to the Isabella’s room (down the hall, second door on the right) while Isabella wraps herself in a throw blanket to let in her disgruntled roommate. The next time March goes to Isabella’s apartment, the same roommate, March now knows her name is Zoey, pointedly turns up her music when she sees March at the door. Isabella says she likes the feel of March’s blush under her tongue when they’re behind closed doors which only causes the blush to go further; a win for both of them really.

♠ ♠ ♠

April catches March on her way over Isabella’s after practice three months after March’s first Pride meeting.

“Off to Isabella’s?” April asks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. The effect is ruined by the bruise she’s got across her cheekbone from a spike from the game before last. They won the set off the block so she wears the bruise proudly.

“Don’t wait up,” March replies, wrapping her wet hair into a bun so it’ll stay out of her face.

“Oh damn, it’s getting serious then?” April says.

“No?” March pauses in shrugging on her track jacket.

“Have you DTR?”

“What?”

“Defined the relationship.”

“Why?” March wrinkles her nose. She isn’t sure what to the make of the look April sends her.

“Aren’t you guys like, together?”

“We’re just friends,” March replies slowly, stupidly feeling like it’s the wrong answer even though she knows it isn’t. Her and Isabella aren’t so cliche that they don’t talk when they have sex, or before or after, but the topic of relationships or romance hasn’t ever come up since Isabell’s explanation of aromanticism.

“Oh.” April’s silence feels loaded, but March waits her out with furrowed brows. “You might want to make sure you’re on the same page,” April finally says. March’s frown deepens but she nods and slips her feet into her shoes and leaves the changeroom. She frowns for the entire walk to Isabella’s.

Zoey opens the door when March knocks.

“She’s in her room,” she sighs, rolling her eyes but stepping back to let March in. She goes back to the kitchen table and makes eye contact with March while she puts her headphones back. March can just barely hear a heavy bass coming from them that gets louder as March crosses the kitchen to the hall. She knocks softly on the doorframe, letting herself in when Isabella calls, “come in!”

Isabella, sitting on her bed and dressed only in a sports bra and pajama shorts, smiles when she sees March. “Hey babe, whatsup?”

The epithet makes March’s stomach clench unpleasantly even though Isabella’s called her that before. April also called her babe, but she calls everyone babe and now that March thinks about it, she’s never heard Isabella call anyone else babe.

“Can we talk?” March says instead of hello. She winces at the rudeness and quickly backtracks. “I mean, hey, I’m good. Can we talk?”

Isabella’s smile dims slightly and she stretches to grab the hoodie hangie beside her bed. “Sure.” She pulls it on and doesn’t make room on the bed for March to sit but that’s okay; she wouldn’t sit anyways.

March takes a deep breath. “Are we dating?”

Isabella’s smile is completely gone. “I’m gonna say no now, but know my answer’s changed in the last 2 minutes,” she says carefully.

“I’m aromantic.” March hasn’t said the words out loud before, but the more she thought about it after learning the word, the more the label settled in her bones. Saying it out loud lifts something from her shoulders and she can breathe deeper. March understood now what Isabella had originally meant by the labels being good for people; she just forgot that other people might find knowing your labels is helpful.

Isabella’s expression softens. “Oh.”

“I didn’t mean to lead you on,” March says. “I just uh, kinda thought it was the same for you?” Retrospectively she realizes how naive that is. She forces herself to look up from floor that she made the confession to and sees hurt flash across Isabella’s face. “It wasn’t just sex!” March blurts, stupidly realizing too late how that might’ve sounded. “I really do care about you. I just don’t have uh, feelings for you. And I don’t think I ever will.”

“I know what aromanticism is,” Isabella says softly. She’s looking down at the bed, idly picking at a loose thread.

“I’m sorry,” March says again.

“S’not your fault,” Isabella replies. “Not really.” She quiet for a beat. March watches her jaw work before she finds the words she needs. “I really care about you too. But... we can’t keep doing this.” She motions between them.

March nods. “I’m really sorry.” It comes out as a little more than a whisper. She meant what she said about really caring for Isabella and will really miss her as a friend.

She listened and laughed loudly at March’s jokes even when March laughed through the punchline. They had different enough movie tastes that netflixing and chilling sometimes turned out to just be netflixing and honestly, March will miss having someone to hang out with outside of her teammates.

Isabella must hear something in March’s voice because she gets up off the bed and pulls March down for a hug. “We’ll still be friends,” she says into March’s collarbone. “I just need some time to get over this.”

“‘Kay,” March says, mostly into Isabella’s bun. Isabella runs a hand up March’s spine once, twice, three times, before giving March a final squeeze and stepping back, well out of March’s space.

“I’ll see you around,” she says, smiling for the first time since it was wiped off.

“Not if I see you first.” It’s cheesy but it makes Isabella’s smile turn more sincere when March says it. She manages a real smile back too.

She leaves Isabella’s room, ignoring the questioning look from Zoey and letting herself out of the apartment. The walk back to her dorm is darker than normal, even though it’s not nearly as late it usually is when she makes the walk. She knows that she did the right thing but she’s still sad about having to do it.

If this what not getting crushes feels like, she can’t imagine actual romantic feelings being much fun.

♠ ♠ ♠

March meets Justin at a Student Athlete Leadership Seminar at the beginning of sophomore year. His name tag says Justin but he introduces himself as Ransom when they’re partnered together for the trust obstacle course. March eyes him skeptically at the discrepancy but he easily leads her around the course when it’s her turn to be blindfolded even after she accidentally makes him stub his toe. He’s really good at all of the other teamwork exercises disguised as games too. The woman running the morning session makes sure to compliment their teamwork, and March can admit the high five they exchange is pretty epic.

They sit together during lunch where March learns that “Ransom” is his hockey nickname because, “Bro, Ransom just rolls nicely off the tongue, y’know?” He spends the rest of the break trying to come up with a nickname for her and is weirdly frustrated when nothing sticks.

“What’s your last name?”

“Kobierzyńska.”

“Bless you.”

“That’s rude.”

“Right, sorry.” Justin sounds surprisingly sincere. “I can’t make a nickname outta something I can’t pronounce.” He taps at his bottom lip. “You’ll get one though, don’t worry,” he promises as they take their seats back in the auditorium for the lecture portion of the seminar.

“I’m really not that worried,” March tells him. The wounded noise he makes causes several people to whip around in their seats to shush him, causing March to stuff her fist in her mouth to stifle her laughter.

The lecture actually starts, and Justin is focused, though he mumbles to himself when the lecturer makes points he doesn’t agree with. March is inclined to second Justin's mumbles; the frat boy wannabe 40-year-old giving the lecture seems to have a lot of opinions about women’s sports in college for someone whose career never brought him close to actual women athletes.

“Well that was a waste of an afternoon,” Justin says when they’re allowed to leave.

“It was a full day thing,” March points out, squinting into the setting sun as they leave the building. They walk in the same direction without talking about it.

“Yeah, but the morning was okay. We kicked ass at the games!”

“They weren’t games. And it wasn’t a competition.”

Justin scoffs. “They were. Games rolled up as ‘trust exercises’-” he actually makes the quotation marks, two at the beginning with his left hand and two at the end with his right. “-are still games no matter how they’re packaged to make it seem like we were learning something.”

“Well I don’t know about you, but I learned a lot in the afternoon,” March sniffs, unable to keep a straight face for long.

“Fuck off.” Justin's grinning when he shoves March’s shoulder. She laughs brightly as she bounces off and then on the sidewalk.

They get dinner together at the dining hall, and Justin continues his pursuit of a nickname for March.

“Greater men than you have tried,” March tells him. “I’m unnicknameable.”

“Unnicknameable March?” Justin tries.

“‘S an oxymoron.”

“That’s what makes it funny.”

“No.”

When Justin has to run off to a late practice, he asks for her number just in case he thinks of anymore nicknames. March laughs at the excuse but happily gives him her number. Almost immediately Justin starts their message thread when he texts her about the unfairness of preseason practice with a captain who doesn’t believe in excuses. March has little sympathy for him, Becka has started the year with her sights set on a winning title and hasn't relented yet but comparing captain stories between sports is fun.

Volleyball season is in full swing so March doesn’t get to as many Pride meetings as she did last year. When she make it to events though, Isabella always has a smile for her, though it’s not quite the same smile as before. March will take it though; she missed her over the summer but understood there were boundaries she needed to respect.

April becomes the second person to know March that is aromantic during a tournament roadie and neither can sleep. March speaks into the darkness of their hotel room and April is quiet for so long that March starts to think their shared nervous silence hasn't actually been all that shared after all. April eventually replies and is exactly as supportive a best friend needs to be, though it takes a couple tries for her to completely understand the term.

“But you’ve had sex.”

“Yeah.”

“With Isabella.”

“Yeah. And other people.”

“And did you like her?”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same thing.”

“...start from the beginning again.”

“Okay, like, I liked--like Isabella. I like talking with her, and watching movies with her, and kissing and having sex but none of the feelings I have for her are romantic.”

“But that’s what Kara and I do and we’re very romantic.”

“Yeah but none of that is exclusively romantic.”

“Ohhhhhhhh."

The win the tournament that weekend.

♠ ♠ ♠

Through their excessive texting and snapping once they find each other on all social medias, March and Justin discover that they’re taking the same anatomy class, though in different sections. Weekly study dates become a thing that turn into twice weekly and then three times weekly right before midterms. Midterms finish and November hits and the hockey season is in full swing, completely overlapping the volleyball season and there’s a weird week or so where Snapchat is the only way they see each. After they have a weekend long sleepover to catch up, it’s volleyball finals and Justin brings half the hockey team to cheer when Samwell ends the season in first place. Then it’s Christmas and the new semester and Justin and March sit next to each other in the second half of their anatomy class. Their matching notebooks were gag Christmas gifts from Holster that they unironically use with the fancy pens they gifted each other.

Anatomy gets cancelled in the first week of February and because of their other class workloads, March doesn’t see Justin in person for a couple days. April tells March that she’ll never miss Justin because when he’s not there, March doesn’t shut up about him.

“Sounds like someone’s got a crush,” Nora says from across the cool down circle as March is telling April and Becka about the plans she had with Justin, froyo, and a movie that night.

March frowns at the word crush, her stomach swooping down.

“Not everything has to be about romance,” April tells Nora.

“Thanks A,” March mumbles, wondering if she’s been wrong in assuming a crush had nothing to do with her and Justin’s relationship.

Justin is hands down one of her best friends. They’re in contact constantly and he’s one of the first people March wants to talk to when she gets any sort of news. He knows her order at Annie’s and Denny’s--and she makes a lot of substitutions to the grand slam breakfast. He comes to her dorm if they both need a break from their respective teammates, to watch episodes of How It’s Made with her. They alternate who gets to be the little spoon depending on who has more deadlines that week.

March values her friendships with Félix and Annie and April and most of the volleyball team but she’s pretty sure none of them get her on a level like Justin is able to- he picks around the sun chips when they share a bag of Munchies just because he knows those are her favourite, while simultaneously handing her the orange skittles because he hates them and she doesn’t. And March has met the guys on the hockey team and no offence but they either have no emotions or too many emotions. She thinks Justin finds some relief from both extremes when they hang out together, but now she's wondering if maybe there's been another reason they spend as much time as they can together.

“I gotta go,” March says, getting up out of the butterfly stretch she’d been thinking in. April has wide eyes and kicks at Becka when she tries to stop March.

In the change room, March barely stops to pull sweats over her spandex. She doesn’t zip up her jacket over her crewneck sweater until she’s hit by a blast of February wind and even then she tries to do it up while she walks but just ends up fighting with the zipper for the entire walk to the Haus. She knocks on the door as she’s opening in, waving to Bitty and Jack in the kitchen, saluting Holster and Shitty on the green couch before taking the stairs to the attic two at a time, almost 90% sure that’s where Justin will be based on her familiarity of his schedule. He jumps at his desk when she practically kicks open the door.

“Jesus H. Christ you scared me,” he says, leaning the chair back on two legs like he does when he's ready to take a break from his books but hasn't let himself yet. “I thought I was supposed to come to yours?” His smile is confused but he doesn't look made about the interruption.

March crosses the room and knocks the chair back to four legs with a foot on the rung before she speaks. “Are we dating?” she asks. A wave of deja vu hits her, but Justin’s cheeks colour differently than Isabella’s did.

“Uh, no.” Justin draws the last syllable out while looking guiltily over at the bunk beds him and Holster share.

All the muddled up feelings that powered March’s walk in the cold over disappear and she can breath again knowing that she hasn’t accidentally hurt a friendship by not having romantic feelings again. She’s left with such a sense of relief that it drains her and it’s suddenly an effort to stay standing so she sinks onto the floor.

“Oh thank god.” She leans her head back against the desk, ignoring how uncomfortably her pony tail pushes into her head. The chair scrapes back as Justin joins her on the floor, but he sits, facing March. He grabs March’s ankle and rubs his thumb along the skin between her sock and sweat cuff.

“Um?”

“I’m aromantic,” March says and oh, it rolls off the tongue nicely the third time around too. “It’s like asexual except I can be sexually attracted to someone but I don’t understand or have romantic attraction.”

“Okay?” Justin’s thumb stills for a beat before continuing.

“I was talking about our froyo date night at practice-”

“Because it’s awesome.”

“-and Nora said I had a crush on you. And I don’t.” March makes a face, kicking half-heartedly when Justin clutches his chest like she actually offended him. “I mean I would if I could probably. I just... don’t. I love you but I don’t want to date you.”

Justin’s quiet as he processes. His thumb starts up again. “Same. I mean, I love you too but I don’t want to date you either,” he finally says. He inhales. “I’m dating Holster.” Justin blows the breath out of his nose.

March blinks, “Oh, wow. Uh, congrats.” The news manages to be surprising and unsurprising at the same time. Holster and Justin work just as well together as Justin and March.

“Thanks,” Justin blushes. He has a really dopey smile on his face. “It’s like really new- I was gonna tell you tonight actually, but…" He shrugs, trailing off. "I’m really happy.” The admission comes with a small smile that makes March's heart happy.

“I’m glad.” March surges forward and wraps her arms around Justin’s neck. His hugs are probably her favourite bar-none. “Does that mean froyo date nights have to stop?” She’s only half joking.

“Oh no,” Justin is quick to reassure. March can feel him playing with her pony tail. “Holzy knows you’re my other best friend. He’ll just probably want to come cuddle more.”

“Only if I’m the middle spoon.”

Her pony tail tickles her neck when Justin sighs into it it. “Only every second cuddle sesh.” He squeezes her once more before pulling back. March grabs his face when he makes to get up off the floor though, keeping him in place.

“Thank you,” she says seriously.

“Welcome,” he replies. He kisses her forehead before getting up and that’s not something he’s ever done before, but neither of them have ever said "I love you" to the other either.

“Froyo?” Justin holds out a hand. March lets him pull her up and she zips up her jacket properly while he struggles into his. They race down the stairs, almost taking out Jack in the process. Justin shouts a sorry, bro-ing up what little Canadian accent he has from Toronto, and fist bumps Holster on his way out. Holster offers his fist to March too. She bumps, and even does the explosion that the end just to make Justin laugh. Holster insists they try a three way first bump so it’s another 10 minutes before March and Justin are out in the cold, on their way for froyo.

Crushes to March are an abstract concept, kinda like the concept of doing her dishes right after she dirties them. She doesn’t understand crushes or romantic feelings and it’s sitting across from Justin, who’s got a red ring around his mouth from trying to lick the bottom of his container but gamely offered March a bite of his pineapple froyo when he thought she’d like it, that she really feels okay with that.

She doesn’t need a romantic partner when she’s got the friends she does.

#omgcp #omgcp fic #omgcprarepairs #Check Please #March omgcp #Romantic identities #Queer Platonic Partners #Ransom/Holster as a background pairing #in which i project very heavily onto March #like the whole first paragraph could be in my autobiography if i changed the counselor to a foreman #i hope it's clear that they're technically in a qpp at the end but neither have the vocabulary to call it what it is #this also turned more into march learning about herself and her identity because i think that's a really important part #there's hardly anything about romantic identity anywhere #and every time i remember that i have a word to explain why i didn't have crushes to compare with my friends as a kid makes me really happy #it should be noted that the bit about labels being helpful for people is only true for some people #and it's completely okay to not like or want or need labels #anyways i hope someone likes this and maybe it helps someone with their romantic identity and if you ever wanna talk about aromantiscm i got #everyone's back #i writ i write i wrote

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msmovingforward · 3 years

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Pride Versus Envy: RHONJ S11 E8

We open with shots of the women getting ready at both Melissa and Dolores’s Shore houses. Marge Sr. texts Margaret, informing her that she just got a laser treatment on her face, and she sends along a picture of her looking like Freddy Krueger. Joe Gorga slaps Melissa on her ass, as Melissa asks if Joe thinks dinner will be peaceful that night.

Back at Dolores’s house, Jen says that if Margaret starts with her, she’ll start with Margaret. Honestly, what is it with women named Jen on Bravo? I don’t like them. Jen Shah is going out in a blaze of fire on RHOSLC, and I would love to see something similar happen with Jennifer Aydin because she’s boring and annoying to me. There. I said it! OK? Sorry!

Back at the Gorgas’, the men are pregaming dinner in order to numb the trauma that is inevitably about to befall them when their wives start fighting. Melissa asks Margaret if she’s ready for a peaceful dinner.

In a confessional, Margaret says that if Jen starts with her, she will finish it. I love to see it.

The two parties arrive in separate vans at La Mondina restaurant and sit at separate tables. Men at one, women at the other. I just noticed that the vans have plastic wrap separating the passengers from the drivers, and I can’t help but wonder if this has always been the case to keep the drivers from crashing due to the imminent danger of stilettoes, hoop earrings, and pinot grigio cracking the windshield or if this is a coronavirus precaution.

Everyone at the women’s table orders a pear crusher martini, while the men considerately place their entire order at once. Because you know, it’s the HEIGHT of COVID when they’re filming, and this restaurant has probably just re-opened for the first time in two months, and most normal people are still horrified of the virus. These women are just scared of their botulinum toxin migrating. The men cheers with tequila shots to a “no bull shit guys night!”

Teresa wonders aloud how the celebration for Nonno will go, saying that he always wanted her and her brother to get along. We’re shown a flashback of Joe Gorga screaming at Teresa the previous night and slamming his engorged fists on the table. Apparently, there was no fracture, by the way. If Nonno is sober enough in whatever afterlife God saw fit to place him to witness that fiasco, I’m sure he’s beaming with pride.

Over dinner, Joe Gorga again brings up the prank phone call Teresa made in Lake George, informing him that Melissa had been cheating on him with a server. Joe claims that the joke must have some sort of “life.” In confessional, Teresa wonders why Joe keeps bringing it up, wondering if something really is going on in their marriage.

The food comes out and several people had ordered octopus, so everyone jokes about “octopussy” for what seems like an eternity. Remember Octomom from 2009? She had an octopussy! Melissa starts giving Teresa dating advice, saying to remember what it’s like to have a man around, passive aggressively saying loudly enough so Joe can hear that he sucks because he thinks she’s too independent. Yes, Teresa, the secret to a happy relationship is to take advice from the passive aggressive woman who’s currently miscommunicating with her husband right before your eyes! And the thing she’s telling you is that she’s basically unhappy and feels like a kept woman. Sound advice, sooouuund advice. Dolores tells Teresa to pay attention to red flags. Like living and spending all your time with your ex husband and not your current boyfriend, Dolores? I’d be surprised if Teresa knows what the term red flag means. Jen gives the advice not to let a man curse at her, and we get my favorite sonic boom sound effect because this is not actually dating advice at all, but in fact shade towards Margaret because she yelled at Joe Benigno the previous night.

Marge says, “So do you think Joe should leave me because I yelled at him last night?” We are shown a flashback to Margaret screaming, “Did you ever hear it from anybody in town? Tell me right now!” Honestly, it wasn’t really that bad. Jen’s a bitch. Get her and her sixteen bathrooms out of this franchise. Please!

Jen responds to Margaret, saying, “Yeah that is a red flag. I don't talk derogatory to my husband. I was shocked.” Teresa is probably getting excited at this point that they’re going to see the running of the bulls because her brain can’t handle the idea of a symbolic red flag. Also, it’s a red flag what you told us last week about how you sat, scantily clad in a Turkish cafe while your mother told you to shut your mouth because men don’t like women who talk too much, Jen. It’s a red flag that you slut shamed Margaret after she shared that she’d been coerced into sleeping with her boss when she was 20 years old. READ A FUCKIN’ BOOK, JEN. IT’S 2021.

Over at the men’s table, Joe B explains that he and Margaret fight, but it’s always over in ten minutes. Joe G responds, “Yeah. You wear the G-string. She wears the pants.” OK, Gorga, enough! Where do you buy your underwear? The roided out kids’ section? They must have that in New Jersey right? It’s in every strip mall next to the breakfast place that sells pork roll, egg, and cheese sandwiches.

Jen tells Marge that she is “no stranger to meannness...” (followed by another BOOM!), “to say that my husband is my meal ticket.” Can it be mean if it’s true though, Jen? Like tell me, what exactly are your SKILLS? In what labor market would you be able to support yourself?

Marge retorts that Jen’s only “aspiration is to live the way off your husband.” Jen responds that her only focus is her family, and Jackie says in confessional that sometimes having a career was easier for her than raising children. Marge says it was wrong of Jen to bring up what she told the women in confidence on camera about how she has slept with her bosses in the past. Jen claims that Marge never said it was a me too thing and that Marge made it seem like she was intentionally sexing it up for her bosses as a young woman. Marge accuses Jen of victim blaming, and says that Jen has a perception problem. Melissa chimes in, pointing out that using this against Margaret now is a huge violation of girl code. Jen questions if it’s such a big deal why Marge is going to put it in a book for the world to read. Marge advises Jen to read the book, or better yet listen to the audio, because Jen is an idiot and lazy and probably can’t read.

In the vans on the way home, Melissa and Joe Gorga get in the following stupid fight:

Joe G: Melissa, you gonna wait for your husband? Mel: NO! Joe: Holy shit. You don't wait for me? Mel: Why am I waitin' for you? You're right here, bro. Chill!

JOE slams van door. There is another boom sound effect.

Mel: What are you mad about? Joe G: I'm not mad about nothin'. Mel: Did I do something wrong? Joe: No. Mel: Tell me if I did. Joe: I would just like my wife to wait for me. I mean you just walk away like you don't even have a husband. Mel: Wait. Wait. Joe: Cause when my wife takes off-- Mel: I'm sorry I took off. I'm the host. That's like crazy. Joe: Alright from now on you just go by yourself while I just walk in the back.

Joe clearly doesn’t like all this independence Melissa has now with Envy. (Seriously, does this store really make any money though? Not for nothing, Joe, but I think your crooked house flipping business is still a more solid source of income). Melissa says Joe is spoiled and that she’s sick of kissing his ass. Joe says to be careful what Melissa says or she’ll never see him again. (What a great little narcissist he is!) The two separate ways, as they arrive back at the Gorgas’ Shore house.

Teresa has a very boring conversation with Audriana on the phone during the van ride back to Dolores’s.

Joe Benigno tries to therapize Joe Gorga Jersey-style, along with Evan back at the Gorgas’. I have to say Joe Benigno seems like such a genuinely great guy, and I’m so happy for him and Margaret. He may not be able to pull together a funhouse-themed living room for his wife over four seasons, but damn if he’s not patient, kind, and empathetic. Joe Gorga shares that the change in their marriage bothers him.

Meanwhile upstairs, Jackie and Margaret check on Melissa, who asks what she’s doing wrong. They both assure her that if she were doing something wrong, they would tell her. If there’s one thing you can always count on a Housewife for, it’s to point out others’ flaws. Margaret explains that “[Joe Gorga] is very sensitive. He took you walking in front of him to another level.”

Back downstairs, Joe G’s narcissism is showing again. He tells Joe B, “ You know I wanna be loved. Is that a problem? OK If it is a problem, Whatever!” UGH YES JOE YOUR ONLY FLAW IS YOU WANT TO BE LOVED. IT WASN’T TOTALLY CRAZY THE SHIT YOU JUST PULLED IN THE VAN AT ALL!

This is juxtaposed with Melissa saying to Marge and Jackie, “ He's a very old school mentality. Like, when we started our marriage, I was 24 years old. I did whatever Joe told me to do. He was someone who was jealous. He was someone who was saying, 'Don't move. Stand right here,' and I thought that that was amazing.” We are then given a confessional of Melissa saying, “ Growing up, there was cheating rumors out there about my dad. I watched my mother cry plenty of tears, so the fact that Joe was all about family and wanted to be together all the time was like oh my god. You're everything I've been looking for.” This is truly sad and hits home for me because I can definitely relate to being trapped in a narcissistic relationship that I thought was right at one time, and eventually I saw the light. My heart breaks for Melissa, but it blossoms for her storyline. Thank God! Finally! Melissa continues to tell Marge and Jackie that Joe makes her feel guilty for having a business.

Joe G continues his psychoanalysis with Joe B, saying that his father shaped him to be the man he is. NOW we’re getting somewhere. Nonno could barely mold Play-do, let alone a human child, but honestly, that’s not Melissa’s problem. He says that now that Melissa is famous and successful she’s forgotten who she is, and he dismisses Joe B and Evan. Again, we need to take Jen’s advice from earlier, ironically. PAY ATTENTION TO THESE RED FLAGS, MELISSA! Don’t raise more Joe and Teresa Giudices!

Jackie tells Melissa that Joe G got used to Melissa being his “little bitch,” and now Melissa is not old school anymore. I’m beginning to like Jackie. Joe walks in to talk to Melissa, and Jackie and Margaret excuse themselves, as Melissa starts yelling. Joe says it’s over (but he’s a narcissist, so it’s not), and Melissa sticks to her guns, saying she’s the best version of herself that he’s going to get.

The next morning Joe B and Evan do some manly stretching outside, and Melissa confesses that she hasn’t spoken to Joe since the previous night. She also tells us that it’s very therapeutic for her to ride a giant yellow bicycle at the Jersey Shore. She leaves, and cameras do not follow. Ugh it’s always two steps forward and one step back for this one. Bill weirdly tells Frank that Bill wants Frank’s physique, so he orders a scooped out bagel for breakfast over at Dolores’s. Frank flexes his roided out biceps. Ick. Back at the Gorgas’, Joe G gives a terrible blanket apology, saying that he’s sorry if he ruined anybody’s night last night. OK, but how about your marriage? How about you knew you were being an asshole, Joey? Melissa finally backs down, and she takes everything on herself once again, essentially saying it would be her fault if Joe G ruins the memorial that night because Melissa forced the issue. Melissa confesses that she doesn’t feel good about leaving things unresolved, but the weekend is about Nonno.

Back at Dolores’s everyone is putting on white for Nonno’s memorial party, which I thought was odd because generally black is the funeral color, but this is far from the oddest choice I’ve ever seen made on a reality show set in New Jersey. Teresa is serving Beyonce’s Lemonade realness in a lemon-print dress. She says dimly, “Maybe someone will wanna suck my lemons?” There’s a ding sound effect.

Everyone gets on boats and rides to a restaurant for a luncheon. Joe G says he and Melissa had sex. Ugh. Sex fixes everything, doesn’t it?

At the restaurant Marge orders unsweetened iced tea and not iced coffee. Joe Benigno is wearing a pineapple print shirt. C’mon, Teresa, lemons are sooo 2016! Pineapples are all the rage now! Teresa says that her lemons are a shoutout to the Capri region of Italy, and I’m reminded fondly of Dorit Kemsley’s Capri room at Bucca Di Beppo. Melissa tells Teresa about her and Joe’s fight. Teresa says that Melissa needs to give Joe a lot of attention. She confesses that Melissa needs to be more grateful because it’s hard to find a man who actually loves you. Yikes this family is fucked up! Teresa’s honest opinion is that it’s a big bonus if your husband actually loves you.

Melissa begins noticing a lot of phone calls coming from a woman named “Realtor Giselle” on Joe G’s phone. It turns out to be a hilarious prank that Joe Gorga is playing to get back at his wife for having Teresa call and say Melissa was cheating on him in Lake George. What fuckin’ timing. At least frickin’ love bomb Melissa, you engorged, blood-sucking tick! Melissa says that if Joe ever cheated on her she would, “Throw [him] in the fuckin’ bay and leave [him] there.”

Joe Gorga confesses that he’s glad Melissa is jealous enough to call Giselle back. I think I’m gonna hurl. GET HELP, JOE. YOU NEED HELP!

Nonno’s party looks beautiful, minus a half-finished collage of photos on a half-assed step and repeat. Someone brings Joe Gorga some spray paint art of Nonno smoking a cigar with his shirt open. Gross, but accurate. Johnnie Walker either sponsored this party or Nonno’s whole life. Along with another canvas painting of Nonno, BIll Aydin gives Joe G a bottle of Johnnie Walker.

Dolores says her uterus hurts, as Frankie arrives, looking like a melting Ken Doll.

Two swans swim by in the bay, and everyone claims they’re Nonno and Nonna.

Margaret is impressed with the charcuterie board.

Teresa gives a tearful speech, saying that her father was very affectionate, and that’s where she and Joe G get it from. No he wasn’t. He was a weird slurry drunk. No you two are not affectionate... Moving on!

Gia reads a speech from her phone, calling Nonno the “glue” that held the family together. If by glue she meant the kind you sniff, then yes. Everyone throws white flowers into the bay. We’re shown a confessional of Teresa crying about how close they were juxtaposed by a flashback of Teresa asking Nonno how much he’s had to drink during season 8′s Easter episode. Joe says that Nonno always told Joe to take care of Teresa, and everyone does a shot of Johnnie Walker Blue.

I spoke ill of the deceased in this post. I just don’t buy what they’re selling about Nonno for one damn second. Joe and Teresa are great TV and terrible people. Terrible siblings usually tend to be raised by terrible parents. These opinions are mine, and I’m entitled to them.

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twistedstorm · 7 years

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This is Super Important...

*bashes through my newly repaired closet door which has been bashed through many times before* WHAT UP BITCHES I’M QUEER AS FUCK!!

It’s National Coming Out Day and although I’m pretty sure you all know how queer I am I’d still like to do a little re-introduction to all of you and today is a good day for it, and because I’m a nerd Imma do it like I do my D&D character pages. Here we go:

Name: Zeta

Nickname(s): ZZ, Z, there’s more but these are the ones I use here

Age: 19

Gender: Genderfluid and lately I’ve mostly just been in a nebulous state of like “yeah I’ve got a gender just give me a sec *rifles through pockets of my jeans* no really I know it’s here somewhere *searches jacket pockets* just a sec *checks my purse, finds some lip balm, a rainbow flag, and a stuffed tarantula* Okay so yeah I dunno what it is today, I think I left it in my other pants, just pick some pronouns ta use for me today, whatever is fine”

Sexual Orientation: Partially sex repulsed Demisexual Panromantic and I’ll include Polyamorous here too cause that’s a thing that I am

Race: I’m fifty shades of white but I totally wish I could be either an elf, a halfling, a day walking vampire, or a water spirit of some kind

Class: Pirate/ Witch/ Annoying feminist nerd/ Artist

Height: Just under 5′7″ on a good day

Weight: Sitting at a solid 200-205lbs

Eye Color: Hazel-green

Hair Color/Cut: Dyed bright red/ one side shaved, undercut all the way around, rockin the emo fringe on top

Abilities: Is ADHD an ability? Cause I think it should be....at the very least hyperfocus should be considered an ability....

Special Talents: I can work my computer with my feet, like I can type pretty accurately, work my track pad or a mouse, play solitaire, all with my feet. I can also easily read backwards and upside down and write upside down and backwards pretty well too. Oh and I can fall asleep anywhere if I’m sleepy or just really calm (Notable examples: On a roller coaster, while standing up, while on the ground after I fell over cause I fell asleep standing up, upside down, two feet away from a speaker playing aggressively loud death metal, etc)

Other Stuff: I’m loud by accident cause I have no volume control and I talk really fast and I end up slurring my words together really often which is annoying but most of the people close ta me are good at understanding me by now so I don’t have ta constantly repeat myself because my words came out mushed together, I also stutter and stumble over words a lot because my brain and my mouth run at different speeds and I fucking hate it because it makes me feel stupid when it takes me three minutes ta say two words cause I couldn’t get them ta come out right. Oh and don’t get me started on not understanding what people say ta me until they repeat themselves like five times because sometimes I just don’t process auditory stuff very fast. I’m learning sign language (ASL by the way if you wanna know which type I;m learning) so far I can finger spell super fucking fast and I often ramble with my hands (I also know how ta say “Please go away” “can you not” “please feed me”and “I need an alcoholic drink” because yes there’s a specific sign for alcoholic drinks over non-alcoholic drinks, I can say more stuff but those are my favorites) it’s hard ta learn but I really like it so I keep trying.

Relationship Status: Currently dating a huge nerd boy whom I like very much and just so you know just because I’m dating a guy right now it doesn’t erase my Pan-ness and if you think it does you can fucking fight me and also yes Ace people can date, we can even have sex if we want to, we can fall in love too just so ya know *finger guns*

Daily Gear: Ipod and earbuds because music doth sooth the savage beast (aka: music helps regulate my mood, block out other sound when I get overloaded, eases my anxiety, helps me focus, and keeps me from going homicidal), cellphone, battery bank and cord for ipod cause it’s old and dies a lot, six rings (three for each hand: three silver, three stainless steel cause I’m allergic to pretty much all other metals), one metal tablet rune necklace with the Nordic rune for warrior/sword on it from my aunty, one digital watch because I have trouble reading analog and my digital one lights up, one bracelet made from a skinny black shoelace, one bracelet that’s actually a cats cradle string wrapped around my wrist which is good for fidgeting, one bracelet made of lava rock beads with the chakra colors on six of the stones (my mom bought it for me at her last craft show cause she thought it might help me feel more grounded, it does), comfy worn in jeans (almost always), hoodie (currently my boyfriends hoodie), wallet, lip balms of various flavors (my mint eos one is my current fave).

Random Trivia: My favorite color is blue (almost any shade of blue but midnight black-blue with silver flecks like stars is the best), I own a bearded dragon named Seto Zuko Kaiba and he’s a total dicklizard but I love him, I love Monster High dolls, I do horror/FX makeup in my free time and plan on going ta school for it soon because I love it so much, I do swear filled dirty embroidery whenever possible as well as pride embroidery (for the queer community and also for feminism stuff) and I plan on selling it at craft shows under the name “Queer as Stitch Embroidery”, I crochet dishcloths when I get stressed, I’m a reformed nail chewer and I’m going on six months of not chewing after nearly 16 years of chewing my nails down ta nothing, I’d kill a man for garlic bread and lasagna as well as for apple crumble, I love Halloween more than any other time of year.

Alright so that’s my little reintroduction to you guys cause a lot has changed in the years since I started this blog and things are still changing and I like ta keep you guys updated on who I am and how I feel as well as keep a sort of log of my progress over the years for me ta look back on ta see how much I’ve grown. Today seemed like a good day ta do this since it’s National Coming Out Day and being queer is a really big part of who I am and it means a lot at me to be true to myself and even though coming out fucked up some stuff in my life I’d never take it back, I am out and loud and proud and if someone doesn’t like it they can shove a cactus up their ass cause I’m gonna be myself and love who I love, however many I want to love, until I die. And even then my ghost will be queer as fuck too.

Now to all my fellow LGBTQA+ peeps out there, out of the closet or not: I love you all, you are valid, you do matter, and you do belong here and anybody who says different is a piss weasel and doesn’t deserve your awesmazing presence in their life.

And now for a little change (or big change in a way I guess), as the oldest of my followers know I’ve been signing off every post on my blog with “Back to your insanity” pretty much since I started this blog and now it feels like it’s time for a change, so my dear Twisters:

Back to your own world

Signed your queer and crazy blog owner

~ZZ

(P.s. I might change my sign off around some more before I settle on one and might not, we’ll just wait and see)

#my personal life #national coming out day #lgbtqa #demisexual #Panromantic #genderfluid #ZZ talks being Queer #polyamourous #Ace and proud #pan and proud #poly and proud #genderfluid and proud

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