#maybe itll grow on me idk
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listened to funeral grey its . that sure is a song huh
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not massively huge on the aai2 objection theme so far tbh? like its not bad by any means, i like it as a matter of fact, it just doesnt really stick in my head much? not in the same way that the other objection themes i like do
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pokemon trainer kyo + his rapidash 🔥
#kny#kny fanart#rengoku kyojuro#kimetsu fanart#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer fanart#demon slayer#rapidash#can u tell im trying different signatures lol#i dont think i actually like that one but i accidentally colour graded the image with it merged on#and i dont have the confidence to recreate my curve settings so it's staying 💀#maybe itll grow on me lol who knows#i have an akaza pokemon au in the works too but idk if i'll post it so soon either esp cuz i kinda wanna pair it w another image#but i have no idea if i'll be able to get to the second one before the year ends#hmmMM#anyways the shading turned out much nicer than i was expecting on the rapidash lol. she's learnin'!!!
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#hm. thinking about death and all that#bc the other day my mom texted me and my sisters to say shes added another cancer to her repertoire#shes had smooth muscle cancer for the past maybe 10 years but in the last year shes gotten a lot sicker#idk how long shes been stage 4 but shes got tumors in her liver. bladder. and maybe a kidney. and now shes also got like pre leukemia#she like deff got it from chemo treatment so now shes gotta try to go get a different treatment#but the type of mds she has is more likely to be treatment resistant and advance to acute myloid leukemia#so idk maybe itll go well. right now she still feels okay. but it just feels like the beginning of the end#so death has been on my mind the past few days#i feel mostly fine bc i think my medication is actually working. i just feel like im waiting for the other shoe to drop ya kno#and selfishly if she dies in the next 4 years itll b a real clusterfuck for my life#but i dunno her life has been super unfair and it sucks that she has to go thru all this#also when i was home last her hair looked insane bc she lost most of it but didnt shave what was left so she had new hair growing short#underneath and all i could think when i looked at her was: we r at the end of vanity. bc im a goblin#unrelated
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We've been watching JoJo for the first time 8 episodes in and idk I feel pretty indifferent about it?
#i know the series are supposed to vary quite a bit from the first so maybe the popularity is more for the later stuff#like just watching the anime alone it seems hard to imagine that this alone could be so big#but in reality i know theres the manga readers to account for#its not even like i hate it i just mostly dont feel much at all atm#i do laugh occasionally less cause actual comedy more so at the nonsense fighting moves coming from nowhere#and ill admit it does have more gore than i thought it would which was a surprise#but like i just think for a fighting anime it lacks in comparison to others#like some fighting anime drag sure but this is like way too fast like theres not enough stuggle jojo just defeats guy after guy so easy#also i think its weaker on establishing character than other animes even fighting ones#like they hammer in dio is evil jojo good but thats like it#but again only 8 episodes in and idk what im in for#its fine enough to put on fir now and maybe itll grow on me im curious enough to keep at it at least
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had to fight for my life w these
#and i still dont super like the coloring but idk. maybe itll grow on me#apple lady coloring#flashing tw#tw flashing
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I think the Gundam Arios is my least favorite of the season 2 upgrades, which is a big shame because Kyrios was my fav in s1
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I will answer those bmos questions today BUT I have a lot to do today so it won't be till later!! I promise I see all of the ask! Sometimes waiting to answer helps me think about it and have a more detailed answer
#ren won't shut up#i wont use that acronym for beings made of stardust ever again#idk it doesn't look right? or maybe itll grow on me and I'll use it more then i need to#beings made of stardust au
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정국 (Jung Kook) '3D (feat. Jack Harlow)' Official MV
youtube
it's so late 90's-2000's /pos.
#jungkook#bts#jack harlow#bangtan#jk#3D#정국#방탄소년단#although jack's verse is a little... hmmm#it got better as he went on but started rough#idk maybe itll grow on me#Youtube
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im ngl im not a fan of the no crimes rework
#its one of my favorite tracks off the original album so i was excited to hear it#but im disappointed cnncjfnfnf rip u_u idk maybe other people are into it but. im not 😭😭😭😭#alternate world sounded so good too#i hope easy will be good#listening to it again and like. maybe itll grow on me but its the original for me
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IN OTHER NEWS I am now up to like. 275 mods on stardew valley and my game is only a little tiny bit broken from it. Gonna fix some of them tomorrow to see if I can get everything to work smooth but tbh I'm just impressed my computer is booting the game up period let alone letting me do stuff with a normal framerate
#stardew velley#mmmmm hyperfixation return to me#robi rambles#i think i know which mods are fucking up so hopefully if i just take those ones put ill b okay#the bugs r really weird tho i think? maybe not but 2 me they are strange#like okay so some of my crops are invisible. not weird considering i have mods that add crops ans a new mod that changes the overworld#sprites for crops. ill just get rid of the sprite changing one and itll b okay#weird bug is that somehow i have fully grown crops that i. did not plant. in place pf the crops i did plant#but only a couple of them!!#so i think thats a little. hm. strange.#so that might take a little more idk well see#like ok i have the animal husbandry mod bc Yay Meat#and in order to get the meat you can grow like say a beef plant. instead of slaughtering the animals#cool and neat right#i didnt plant any meat plants. i now have 5 invisible reptile meat plants. hm#also a fragrant lillac (? i cant remember the flower fs maybe wisteria idk) plant that is. kind of showing up#like the stem/stalk is invisible but the flowers arent. also i didnt plant it so like.#idk man. strange indeed#BUT my diverse stardew valley changes all seem 2 b working so thats yay#im so excited i love them sm
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i want a buzzcut so fucking bad yall but gender is hard and frankly i dont wanna know how fucked up my scalp looks bc theres a lotta scarring up there and maybe ill look kickass or maybe ill look munted. and idk if thats a risk i wanna take.
#also it took a long ass time to grow my hair out and im like attached to it again#though maybe itll be good for me to buzz it all off idk#after i visit my family maybe
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honestly...... it's like fine idc for it
#I LIKE IT BUT LIKE something about its design is off#itll probably grow on me#💌#pokemon#i think its the bumps that look like eyes itd be a lot better without them BUT MAYBE NOT IDK ITS NOT BAD
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#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again#it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof#is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head#my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the#middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up#like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable#bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life#anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been#like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i#might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it#i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt#the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective#but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work#but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops#not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy#ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day#ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time#ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea#of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i#get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism#ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes#unrelated
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Changed my username for... reasons.
Might change it back later lmao
#zii.txt#or maybe itll grow on me and ill keep it#or change it to something else again#idk yall guess we'll find out
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