#casual ableism
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Being the only disabled person in a friend group is like. Argues against mental age for 30 minutes without achieving anything because they will die if they cant call developmentally disabled adults 6 year olds. Feel guilty for cancelling plans for disability reasons and making up a lie so you dont have to tell the truth. Get called a cripple after explaining your symptoms. Get told nothing is ever the doctors fault because they work soooo hard and you're just not persistent enough. Realize the only way theyd ever do even minor caregiving tasks for you is if they were paid. Spend an hour arguing against eugenics. Listen to someone talk about a group of disabled people and with every sentence it gets more obvious they never interacted with anyone from this group personally. Get compared to peoples elderly relatives. Get -
#i want to burn it all down ♡-♡ [head explodes]#actually disabled#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#ableism#casual ableism#abledsareweird#also whatever you do dont tell me to just get better friends im a rural mf this is the best i managed to find in this village:))#and somewhat frequent socializing is sadly required for my mental health to not go fully off the rails so pls. shut up
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People think they’re trying to be kind when they say “it’ll get better” but they aren’t.
It’s a punch to the gut whenever someone tells me “it’ll get better” because I’m chronically ill and it won’t. All you’ve done is try to make yourself feel better about my lifelong suffering.
#fnd#chronic fatigue#chronic illness#chronically ill#functional neurological disorder#chronic pain#chronic disability#cripplepunk#cripple punk#cpunk#casual ableism
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this is your regularly scheduled reminder not to tell young disabled people “get well soon.” yes even if you think they just have an injury. I /know/ that other than my cane I look okay, mr security man, but just because I’m a young person at pt it doesn’t mean I’m not permanently disabled.
#I was having an ok day#I didn’t want to think about how I’ll feel like this forever#casual ableism#cane user#ambulatory wheelchair user#disabled#disability#chronic illness#ableism
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I will never understand how judgmental people are, from the annoyed and confused looks I get when ordering food (I am a very selective eater and order things without sauce and vegetables most of the time) to the comments I hear my mom make about my sisters friends “oh yeah she would barely talk to me and froze when I asked her about food so I kept asking it was really weird” Okay and?
It’s not hurting them, it’s barely even affecting them so I have no idea why they care.
Let people eat what they want or not eat, a lot of people have complex relationships with food and pushing or judging them isn’t going to help. And this is just one example but there are so many, especially with disability related things (or at least things that could be disability related) that I see in my life, often they’re things that I have done to people as well.
“They didn’t even say hi or make eye contact!” about a stranger “So what? I do that” “no you’re different” etc.
But I’m not different you just don’t see that side of me or know me well enough to excuse it.
It’s the same kind of energy I get when I sit in an accessible seat as an eighteen year old who doesn’t appear disabled.
Like if I see someone behaving ‘weirdly’ in public I don’t wonder what’s wrong with them or try to avoid them I wonder if they’re overstimulated or have some kind of trauma or something that makes the environment difficult for them.
If someone is short to me or not overly talkative in a customer service situation as long as they’re not actually rude I just assume they’re having a bad day and I don’t understand why this is so hard for other people. It’s like they forget that everyone else has a life and experience as complex and challenging as their own.
And maybe a majority of the people I am kind toward or who I give the benefit of the doubt to are actually just being rude or judgmental or generally not being very nice/respectful but that’s not who I want to be.
I’d rather give the benefit of the doubt to 99 people that didn’t deserve it than judge or harass one person who did because when you’re the one struggling that does so much harm.
Honestly just be kind and leave people alone, they probably don’t deserve the intention and harassment you’re assigning to them and even if they do that’s not your place to decide if they haven’t done anything to you.
You aren’t doing anyone a service you’re wasting energy judging and harassing people who are just trying to live their lives.
I just really wish more people could be kind.
#actually autistic#autistic experiences#self diagnosed autism#late diagnosed autistic#invisible disability#autism#actuallyautistic#asd#autistic community#disability#disabled community#public places are for everyone#casual ableism#ableism#judgmental#physically disabled#physical disability#chronic pain
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It really sucks when able bodied people forget you're disabled but don't trust you to handle your disability at the same time.
Being asked after is nice sometimes. But It's not nice to be treated like I've done something that's going to hurt me every time I do things. I know what I'm doing. When I do to much and I know about it, I can handle it just fine.
They just keep reminding me to take care of myself like I would have forgotten to.
You forget. You don't remember.
I remember. I always remember.
#physically disabled#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronically ill#spoonie#chronic condition#chronic fatigue#amps#disabilties#cfs/me#disability#disabled#actually disabled#stardust maple#ableism#casual ableism#rant#vent
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abled people can genuinely just be so casually cruel. I was telling off some guys (who I'd. thought. were actually pretty cool.) for suddenly making a bunch of jokes about autistic people, and this third guy just came in and we had the following exchange
him: well it doesn't really matter that they're saying that because they're not using autistic to mean, like, the condition
me: then what the fuck does it mean? it's a debilitating disability, they shouldn't just be throwing it around as an insult.
him: *googles the definition of debilitating entirely to nitpick* oh so you're weak and impaired? reeeeeally? how could it be debilitating?
me: *explains various ways autism disables me in like 10 seconds, concludes with:* so the word really does matter
him: hm. maybe to YOU. also, I don't remember asking. we're all a little autistic anyway.
after that I just called him a fucking dick and disengaged, but like. the levels to which he just did not want to agree with me at all . the way he directly asked how it was disabling, dismissed it, and acted like he'd never asked in the first place. the CALLOUSNESS and uncaring and dismissiveness with which he said "maybe [the misuse of the word autistic] matters to *you*". and this type of interaction happens with my physical and nd disabilities constantly. it's so fucking tiring
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Ableist words/phrases & some alternatives
[PT: Words/phrases to try not to say & some alternatives /end PT]
CW for colloquial use of ableist language
[PT: CW for colloquial use of ableist language /end PT]
“Insanely” or “crazily” as an adverb (ie: “that’s insanely ___”)
Obnoxiously
Overly
Unnecessarily
Incredibly
Exceptionally
“I’m blind” as a figure of speech (when not actually blind)
I missed that
I overlooked that
Oh! I see now
My eyes did a silly (more silly ver)
Thank you for pointing that out
“I’m deaf” as a figure of speech (when not actually D/deaf)
Sorry, can you repeat that?
I didn’t hear you
I spaced out and missed what you said
Oh! I understand now
I misheard that
“Stupid” as an insult to describe someone who is bigoted and/or misinformed
Ignorant
Closed-minded
Unaware
Oblivious
Stepping out of their lane
“Narcissist(ic)” as an insult or personality type
Self-centered
Vain
Selfish
Apathetic
Uncaring
“Psychopath(is)/psycho”, “sociopath(ic)”, “crazy”, or “nuts” as an insult or type of person
Bizzare
Unconventional
Unexpected
Intense
Overwhelming
Wild
“OCD” as a description or personality type (ie: “I’m so OCD”)
Particular
Perfectionist(ic)
Orderly
Selective
Tidy
“I’m stupid” as an expression of misunderstanding
I’m silly
I don’t understand/Can you explain?
Oops!
“Lame” as an adjective (ie: “That’s so lame”)
Boring
Dull
Bland
Unoriginal
Tedious
“Bipolar” as an insult or type of person
Unpredictable
Inconsistent
Fluctuating
All over the place
Unreliable
“Crippling” as an adverb when not reclaimed (ie: “Crippling depression”)
Debilitating
Profound
Severe
Impairing
Disabling
This is not at all a comprehensive list! Feel free to add on
[PT: This is not at all a comprehensive list! Feel free to add on /end PT]
#informative#info#casual ableism#disabled liberation#language#anti ableism#disabled#disabled community#firefly flickers
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psa: maybe don't comment on a fic featuring a deaf character coming to terms with their deafness written by a d/Deaf/hoh author that you can't wait for said character to get their hearing back so the love interest can tell them they love them.
cause that's pretty fucking ableist.
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Got muted in three of my Facebook groups this week alone for pointing out ableism because they call it “armchair diagnosis”.
Like bro I didn’t say “this person definitely has pda profile autism” I said “it’s ableist to moan incessantly about how gross it is when people don’t brush their teeth and how disgusting people who struggle with hygiene are, whether this person has a causal condition or not”.
I have since left all three groups because FUCK THAT but also one woman responded to my comment simply saying “yeah as someone who struggles with hygiene I probably shouldn’t have read these comments” and THAT is exactly who I’m speaking up for. I am so sick of getting silenced for defending my own fucking community.
For context: the group I’m specifically referencing in the above example is dedicated to making fun of the trash men who send unsolicited pics and get really really upset when you aren’t impressed. Someone shared a post in that group where a woman told a man she would expect him to brush his teeth multiple times a day, and his response was, verbatim: “That doesn’t work for me. I suggest you find someone you think is better than me. Good luck.”
Like… that’s not even what this group is for??? He said they didn’t click, respectfully cut contact, and wished her well?? He wasn’t even rude! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM WITH ANY OF WHAT HE SAID??????
And everyone was in the comments with puke emojis and saying things like “no one should have to ask for basic hygiene” or “there is no excuse for this” or “men are so fucking disgusting”. Like hello casual ableism? Also, men are not the only ones who could struggle with caring for themselves. There are SO. MANY. reasons someone might not brush their teeth often. I personally have a hard time with it because with my adhd I genuinely just forget and with my autism the sensory experience can be a LOT so it’s hard to make myself do it on the rare occasions when I do remember. And I’m definitely not a man, cis or otherwise.
#fucking over it#ableism#casual ableism#fuck facebook#ableism tw#hygiene#invisible disability#actually neurodivergent#autistic#adhd memory#sensory issues#pda autism#depression#memory problems
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i HAAATE when people are like "man, i wish i knew what THIS wacky character is thinking LOL!! 😂😂😂😂 theyre so WACKY and WEIRD and NOBODY CAN KNOW WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT!!!! LOL!!! 😂😂😂" and then its just Some Guy with adhd
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I think it’s sad that I’ve been so scared of openly having a seizure disorder, because sending epileptics/people with seizures flashing lights and stuff is so common and normalized. People will literally try to kill you over something stupid like fandom discourse, it’s crazy. The struggle between “I want to be a voice and advocate for people with epilepsy and other seizure disorders” and “If I’m open about this someone might try to kill me and think it’s funny, because seizures are seen as a joke and people like me are beyond dehumanized” is very real.
#disability#seizures#epilepsy#awareness#discourse#ableism#disability activism#slightly personal#but please reblog if you want to#please take seizures seriously challenge#casual ableism#it’s so tiring
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I'm only gonna say this once but its incredibly disrespectful and rude to trigger tag for scars. You're saying someone's body inherently needs to be hidden. This thing they can not change, this absolutely morally neutral collection of collagen in a slightly different color and / or texture? Do you understand how fucked that is??? I also really dont care if you think it's obviously selfharm scars. The points are the same. That is someones body. That is the only body they have to move through the world. And you're throwing up your arms and saying "I must warn others about your body". I've seen people trigger tag even the mention of a scar in a text post. At that point just dont post about it at all. This is someone's skin. Learn to be nice about it for fucks sake
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Reminder that if you need to use plastic, cars, electricity, big business products, phones, fast food restaurants etc. to live a good life or to live at all then no neurotypical abled person who doesn’t need them has the right to lecture you on ethics and sustainability.
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The casual "take our meds" joke in Dylan Mulvaney's song was amazingly tone deaf (aside from the unbearable 3 minutes of sexist stereotyping through grating autotuned singing).
Is Dylan blissfully aware of the maltreatment of psychiatric patients, especially women?
Of women's history of being abused under the guise of psychiatry, being disproportionately lobotomised and sedated, typically to force them into performing their expected roles as wives or homemakers better?
I'm sure this point has been made already, but it blows my mind that lyrics this ignorant made the final cut. Guess Mulvaney's gone full mask off.
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while it’s technically true, statements along the lines of “nobody is truly independent” are not always helpful when it comes to talking about disability.
it can feel a lot like when someone says “we all get sad sometimes” when you’re talking about l depression, or “we all get nervous” when you’re talking about anxiety.
some of us truly cannot live without the one-on-one support from others. some of us are truly reliant on help on a daily basis in order to function.
it is not the same as an abled person’s reliance on a farmer for food. it is not the same as an abled person’s dependence on their partner for emotional needs.
I know many of you are well-meaning, but these kinds of statements truly downplay and sanitise the experiences of the disabled, and it quite simply is not helpful.
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It’s always interesting being an invisibly disabled person- people really let their ableism out and tell you what they really think when they believe they aren’t in the presence of someone who is actually disabled
#like your response to covid tells me a lot about you#casual ableism#chronic illness#chronic pain#disability#is this relatable#fibromyalgia#people be outing themselves as ableist so fast#chronically ill#dysautonomia#i hate being sick#long covid#covid reality#actually chronically ill#mini rant#i’m so done#why is the world so ableist?#fuck ableism#stop being ableist
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