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dracoslittlepet · 2 years

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IMAGINE...

• Draco writing a letter home to his mother about you, expressing his feelings for you and how much he adores you...

Scritch, scritch, scritch.

Every stroke of Draco's quill on the parchment formed the finest letters, the product of which was some of the sappiest things he had possibly ever written. He couldn't quite keep the smile off his face as he wrote, his cheeks flushing a faint pink every now and then.

"Dearest Mother,

I know it has been a very long while since I last wrote home, but there has been so much going on. Would you believe it if I told you I'm in love? I still can't quite believe it, myself. Oh, she's wonderful. Her name is Y/N Y/L/N, and she's a half-blood. Now, I know what you and Father are going to say, but I really don't see the problem. Mother, she is the sweetest girl I have ever met, if maybe a bit too nice to be in Slytherin, though.

But that's quite alright. I think that's what I admire the most about her. She has nothing but kindness for those she cares deeply about, but she also has a fierce temper to rival my own. Potter called me a rather unsavory name last week, and Y/N almost tore him a new one. Oh, if you could have seen her! She was nothing short of perfection, I swear it.

I'm really hoping that you and Father will let me bring her home for the holidays this year, so you can both have a chance to meet her, and maybe see her the way I do. Just being around her takes a lot off my mind, she makes me feel more like myself than I possibly ever have in a very long time. There are so many little things I absolutely adore about her...

The way she smiles, the sound of her laughter, the way she always has to sneak a book out with her to the Great Hall, so she can read during mealtimes.... Everything about her is so endearing. Y/N and I have only been seeing each other for all of about three months, but it feels like I've known her forever.

Time feels eternal, endless, when I'm near her... Like things are finally being set right and nothing can go wrong. I'm probably jinxing myself by saying so, but I have a feeling this is going to last for a while. Who knows, I may eventually propose to her, if things continue as smoothly as they have. (With yours and Father's blessing, of course. And her parents'.)

In other news, things are going alright. I've left my Quidditch position as team Seeker, in order to focus on the task you and I talked about at the start of the year. Blaise Zabini has taken over for me, you would like him. He's one hell of a Seeker, and he seems to know what he's doing, if our latest wins over Gryffindor are any indication.

I'm currently top of the class in my Alchemy and Dark Arts classes, which is what I wanted. That reminds me, Y/N is top of the class in Potions, did you know? But I don't think she'll make a career out of it. If I remember correctly, I think she said she wanted to be an Auror, or perhaps something to do with Muggle Studies? I'll ask her when I see her again, and get back to you on that.

In the meantime, I'm hoping you and Father are both well, and that things back home are alright. Here's hoping that everything stays quiet for a bit, you know? At least then we might have a chance. Anyway, I can't think of much else that is new, but please, when you get this letter, send me an owl back as soon as you can.

I want to hear from you and Father, see what you think of my earlier idea, of bringing Y/N home with me. Until next time, wishing you both well and sending my love to you and Father...

Much love,

♡ Draco

He knew adding the little heart at the end might have been the cherry on top, as far as sappy goes. But he didn't care; he was in love and he didn't give a damn if it was unlike him. Y/N was the best thing that had happened to him, and he was determined to keep it that way. With another smile, Draco neatly folded up the letter, tucking it inside one of his family's signature dark green envelopes, before sealing it shut.

And later that afternoon, as he sent away the letter by his family's eagle owl, a sense of lightness and warmth came over him. Who would have thought that he, Draco Malfoy, would ever fall in love?

But it was true; he had (and would continue to have) an utterly unequivocal sense of love and affection for Y/N, until his dying breath. After all, isn't this how things were supposed to be...?

#draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy drabble #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fandom #harry potter fluff #harry potter imagine #harry potter #fluff #imagine #letters to home

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qprsmackdown · 9 months

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IRL/OC Bracket FINAL: C & G vs Michael and Mantis!

C & G propaganda:

Ok so these next few paragraphs are copy pasted from what I wrote on queering the map. Hope it makes you cry :) (Entries were written around mid-2020, with the last being written in 2023)

My school had a field trip to this park, my best friend and I found a quiet spot under some trees. I set up the blanket/mat I had brought, she propped up an umbrella. We laid down beside each other face-to-face. That was the first time I ever felt tempted to kiss someone. To this day I consider it as one of my gayest moments (right next to asking her out and later on asking her to be my qpp on a ferris wheel XD)

November(?) 2017 - We were talking about your maybe-crush on a friend when you mentioned that you used to have a crush on me. I confessed about my past crush on you too and started flirting with you. "Have you moved on from her? Will you be my girlfriend? We don't have to put a label on it or anything yet we can just-" "Yes" We dated for a month (full of silly puns and cheek kisses and gifts from Japan) before we broke up (can you blame us? we were twelve and our dads found out) but you're still my very best friend. I love you G - C

February 2020 - Day of the school fair, I had everything planned for a perfect day for you and me... until you brought along a classmate who had no one to hang out with and you were too kind to say no. We went on all of the rides, the three of us, and you mentioned how you have always wanted someone to dedicate a song to you at the song booth. I went out to reserve one, and then I stayed with you until both of you had to leave for your shifts. That's when I put my plan into action. I reserved a sunflower at the Lovebooth (I knew you liked sunflowers because of a certain character (the roses were way too romantic anyways)) and when you came back we got into line at the Ferris wheel with our other friends. While waiting my dedicated song finally played, and you turned to me with nearly the happiest smile I've ever saw on you. When we were getting closer I went to get my reserved sunflower, but the line was slow so I ended up asking my aunt to hold it for me. When the line was nearly there I got it back from her and our other friends helped me to hide it (Your sister wanted to ride with us but I told her my plan and she changed her mind). You got on and as you turned to face me I held out your sunflower. When we got to the top of the Ferris Wheel I asked what I had been planning to ask you for a week. "I don't know much about it yet, I still have to research more but... G, would you be my queer platonic partner?" You smiled the happiest smile I've ever seen on you that day. G, we haven't talked much since quarantine started, but I want you to know that I love you. I'm not sure what kind (romantic or platonic) but I know that you have a special place in my heart. I can't wait for this to be all over and for us to be by each other's side, drawing and reading and just talking about the things we never share with anybody else. I love you - C

July 2023 - The school fair was over 3 years ago, can you believe? So much has changed since then, quarantine happened, we were reduced to online classes, and I ended up moving to the States for a chance of a better life. We kept in touch, of course, through messages screaming over fandoms and platonic marriages on minecraft servers (how dare you for suggesting that before i knew abt cbeeduo >:( ) and like 5 meet ups over the summers. But it wasn't enough, and timezones and a desire for a more physical (in a actually there beside you sort of way) relationship eventually culminated in you asking to break it off two weeks before I met up with you in the Philippines. God damn it G, why didn't you wait? I had it all planned in my head. The night of my debut, as all my guests were leaving, I would take you to a private corner where we would talk, and I admit to you that yes, maybe my feelings for you turned out more romantic than I initially thought, but with the physical distance it wasn't right for us to pursue something of that nature, especially as I had wanted to try dating in college and didn't want to end up hurting you. I would say I love you and maybe leave you with a kiss, and that was how we'd gain closure. Well the kiss didn't happen and you laughed when I scolded you for not waiting before you admitted that yeah, you felt the same way but also agreed that our level of commitment wasn't right for us, not anymore. You promised me that if by the time we were done with college we were both single we could try again, but I won't hold you to that. G, thank you for being my bestest friend and first love, and I'm sorry that life didn't work out the way we had planned. I love you though, whether romantically or platonically, and I hope you're happy with where you end up in life - Yours always, C

anddddd that's it! veered a little romantic at times, but whats more queerplatonic than a relationship that blurs the lines of platonic and romantic eh? at the end of the day, we're still best friends and we care for each other deeply, even if we no longer officially label it as a qpr. hope our story made you cry >:D

More C & G Propaganda!

Michael and Mantis propaganda:

we're both boygirls and girlfaggots and boydykes, you literally cannot get queerer than this. gay in every direction

we're also both autistic and have adhd. leads to some fun conversations where one of us listens intently while the other is going off about whatever interest they've got the brainworms for at the moment and it's the most fun i will ever have (common topics are: good movies, tragedies and shipwrecks, cannibalism, the absurdly powerful dnd podcast just roll with it, and many more)

we're long distance and we really need this win bc the earth is literally homophobic and keeping us apart and making us sad :(

michael has this whole mushroom/lichen/microorganisms/rot thing going and i have the space thing going and they're essentially the same things but on different scales (life and death and life in death etc etc), so we're thematically compatible. we were made for each other frfr

uuhhhh mental health improvement i guess

we tricked at least three people into thinking we were dating before we actually started dating. not on purpose

we started dating on april fools! that's fun!

same trauma and same issues. we get a lot of mileage out of relating to each other

i keep breaking my sleep schedule for him

uhm. also. we're really niceys and cool and stuff :3

More Michael and Mantis Propaganda!

#qpr smackdown #qpr tournament #oc/real life qpr bracket #mod zazie

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ijustkindalikebooks · 5 months

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I really hope I don't read a life changing book in the next three weeks so this list is out of date, but this is a list of twelve books that have been dwelling in my head for the last year.

I quote them, I think about them, I think "holy cow someone wrote that" often about these and I can't wait to either the read the next one or the next thing that comes from this author (or both). I really hope you've had an amazing year of reading and I can't wait to see your own lists from 2023.

How High We Go In The Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu - A sort of slow burn book that has dwelled in my brain since I read it back in April, How High We Go In The Dark is a dark exploration of humanity connected by short stories that have a common thread through the book. The rollercoaster story lives in my head rent free, and not in a good way, it's a little bit disturbing, but I think we live in a dystopia more than we believe we do and maybe there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

Sea Of Tranquility by Emily St John Mandel - Another book that connects via short stories, this is quite common for me as I love that sort of thing, reflecting on my list of books. I think Mandel writes so poetically and brilliantly throughout this book, she delivers on pathos and emotion to really deliver stories about people, about people in different timelines connected by a strange portal moment of magic. If you love fantasy but in a more contemporary delivery, I do recommend this book to you.

The End Of The Affair by Graham Greene - I am a collector of books as much as a reader of them and this year I've been trying to read my bookshelves a bit more as I just am buying books to make myself look clever at this point, which is just lame. This was one of the first books on my shelf, and though not perfect, and damn did she deserve better, this book delves into obsession and love and what it actually means to people. It's a weird book.

Another Day In The Death Of America by Bryan Younge - I am not American, I have never seen a gun in real life in the hands of a person I know (some police have them near Parliament, well they did once I think) so I don't understand America and their passion for ammunition, but this book should not make you proud of it. This book is a gut punch through every chapter as the author details the young lives lost to guns in 24 hours. A brilliant and sad book.

Tower by Bae Myung-Hoon - My passion for Korean Literature does not abate (I am not a Koreaboo, don't worry). There's a way Korean writers write books like their objective observers on a scene that I particularly enjoy and Tower is another good example of this. Tower again is short stories tied together about a building that is it's own country and the people who live and want to live in it. The Elephant chapter hasn't left my brain since I read it and I recommend it (unless you like Elephants, then don't, cos it's again fucked up).

Beyond The Story: 10 Years of BTS by BTS - Ahh BTS, since 2017 I've known this group and their impact of my life and music taste is so ridiculous, I feel like something's walk into your life for a reason and wow, did they. The story of the rise of BTS from a lucky break on Mnet's music show to Grammy nominations (robbed!) is incredible to read and even if you don't like them it's a fascinating insight into a group that made their name in a country that was dominated by three big music companies, and they weren't on any of them - Hybe now supercedes all of them. An incredible underdog tale.

Lirael by Garth Nix - Where has this man been all my life with these books? I'm embarassed, be embarassed for me. This series is so good so far, I'm going to read Abhorsen next year which I believe is the next one and I can't wait. I would also recommend the Booksellers Of London series too by the same author, which is every bit as good and set in 80's London/Bath. Fantastic fantasy that makes you think where is the next one, give it to me now.

The Last Devil To Die by Richard Osman - Y'know, this series is so British, it should come with teabags and digestive biscuits, but I love it all the same. A series about a group of pensioners who solve mysteries, The Last Devil To Die is the fourth book in this series and it's probably for me one of the best. The storyline with Stephen is devastating and the plot is incredible with characters that come to life every time this book is opened. I can't wait for whatever this author does next and those who voted for The Housemaid on Goodreads, I'm judging you, to be honest.

Hortus Curious by Michael Perry - Plants, people. Plants are incredible, insane, incredible. There are plants who eat living things, but that's just the start of their madness. This book is an incredible exploration in fantastic plants you would think you'd only see in a Herbology classroom but here they are in real life, killing people and eating small animals. Fantastic book, if you love nature and weird stuff, this is for you.

Against White Feminism by Rafia Zakaria - I think the white women were in the house so much from this book. How women were protected in their plantations as people were treated abysmally who were just another intersection from them. I think we all need to work on our biases, prejudices and judgements we make and this is a short and brilliant book that could help you do that. I consider myself a feminist, and to be a good one you also have to shut and listen to people who don't look like you, make spaces intersectional my friends.

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang - The only romance book for me with rights this year (I keep being recommend books about hockey players and I am, that's just not going to happen). The representation of autism is fantastic and the sexy times are sexy if you need that and the characters, the characters are impeccable. I really recommend all of her books to be honest (and Talia Hibbert too, actually) as they make such great books with fantastic rep.

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman - John Green on Crash Course said about this book 'the thing about this dystopian book is that this dystopia has already happened'. Charlotte was told by her doctors to quit all her hobbies and stay in a room and do nothing and it drove her to a deeper sickness, she wrote this book during that time of recovering from her ''recovery'' and it makes for powerful reading. The whole story is easily found online for free and I highly recommend it, probably one of the first psychological thrillers.

I apologise if some of these are a bit grammatically weird, I am working on it, I only just found out I'm dyslexic hence my difficulty with small text and need for audiobooks (smh, sometimes it's so obvious it makes me shake my head).

Please let me know what your favourite books of 2023 were.

Vee xo

#booklr #books #fiction #bookblr #book #non fiction #classics #fantasy #mystery #science fiction

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simgerale · 6 months

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MIRANDA!!!!!!!!

okay, because the post posted between my classes all I could do is make a quick reblog and try not to cry, but now I can really process my thoughts. Fair warning, this is gonna be long. And I do mean LONG.

The fact that she finally let him use her name... He told her to call him Luca SO early on, and now she's finally letting down that wall and allowing him to be familiar with her. (Also the fact that the first time he ever calls her by her name is when he's accepting her marriage proposal... 🥺😭)

Also, the fact that she's already wearing a wedding dress....

Also, BUTTERFLY WEDDING DRESS!!!!!!!!! And it's blue!!!! Blue butterflies have been her symbol since the beginning, and she ends the story dressed like that... PERFECT. And Luca's outfit.... God, I love that outfit so much. I have you to thank for me having it in my game, actually. You sent it along with Kris and now I will never let go of it. Luca looks exceptionally good in it, though. Especially the navy blue. (They're both wearing blue...)

"For us." THAT BROKE ME MIRANDA. "Not for Volais, Not for Eden, for us. Only for us." That is literally the most romantic, amazing, adorable, lovable thing he could have said in that moment. NO WONDER Maggie is in love with him.

The tug on her gloves... For all she sounds confident and secure in the moment, I'm sure Maggie was SO NERVOUS. Imagine proposing to the love of your life, and not only that but it's the first time you've talked to/seen him since you impulsively kissed him when he woke up after nearly dying of poison. And not only THAT, but this proposal could also literally change the world by creating an alliance between Eden and Volais..... Of COURSE she's nervous. I would be terrified in any one of those scenarios, let alone all three at once.

But Luca just is so calm and collected the whole time. And I imagine it's because he's realized his feelings a lot earlier. He already knows -- has known -- that he's in love with Maggie. And he's so confident in that love.

THE HAND KISS. I'm down bad for hand kisses. I can't even explain why, but they are the HEIGHT of romance.

Also the final kiss!!!!!!!!! They finally get to do it right. And I imagine they were there for a long time. 🥺

The fact that you labeled it as "The Beginning". Because hell yeah it is. It's the beginning of their forever after, the beginning of an alliance, the beginning of a real relationship between them, the beginning of an NEW ERA.

Also, please tell me Olette and Sheridan get their happy-ever-after too. I know they do, but I wanna hear it anyways.

I can't wait to hear what happens to my babies after this, but even if I don't ever get to know, this was such a lovely, perfect ending to Regal. THANK YOU for taking me along on this journey for the past two years. (Damn, I can't believe it's been two whole years since I started following you...) Thank you for sharing your story with us. And thank you for being an all-around amazing person. I'm glad I can call you my mutual and my friend. <3

Congratulations are in order, though!! Finishing a story is no easy feat, and you did it!!!! And it was FANTASTIC!!!!!!!

Okay, I swear I'm done now. One last hug, though.

MORRI 🥹 i’m sitting in the cold on my porch, so I figured I’d type up a response in between trick or treaters (^:

1) EXACTLY

2) I originally planned to show their ceremony as an epilogue but I chose against it, because I wasn’t in the mood to create an elaborate royal wedding lol BUT I assure you…. As soon as they were ready, sheri put them back in Volais and they had a wedding

3) YES! It’s also the same outfit she is wearing for the “teaser” post I created years ago for Regal 😏

4) GLAD THAT IM NOT BAD AT WRITING LOL I read that over and over and wondered if it was good or just corny?? so happy it’s just the right amount of romantic 😌

5) the fact you caught that!!!! the way I wrote it originally, she was just doing lots of stuttering but I was like. That’s not maggie. She would have nervous ticks like pulling at her gloves! Only the trained eye (you heheh and luca) would be able to tell how nervous she was.

6) for him it’s like ??? I just woke up and you guys are all acting weird! Sure he recalls being stabbed but he does NOT remember the pain he was in. Nor the poison’s effects. (He can thank Lady Celeste for that.) so things changed practically overnight for him. He knew they had been getting close, him and Maggie, so this was just the desired outcome for him. He’s loving it.

7) INDEED THE HAND KISS! I agree. When my fiancé kisses my hand randomly it’s like. A grand gesture to me. It’s so sweet. It feels like “oh so you’d DIE for me? Amazing” lol

8) oh man. Probably ten minutes of straight kissing. All the passion they had been holding back for months

9) thank you for noticing that 🥹🥹 it was a special touch of mine. Because you’re ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about everything you said.

+ YES Olette and sheridan will get eloped actually (^: this happens down the line (maybe a year or two later), because Olette wants to explore the world a bit more before doing that. And sheridan is promoted to Very Important Mage who is almost like an ambassador ? She travels between Volais and Eden a lot to promote the healthy transition of magic being allowed in Volais again. Very cool.

THANK YOU FOR THE CONGRATS!!! and THANK YOU FOR BEING APART OF THIS JOURNEY WITH ME!!!! you will get to see some one shots with like, one or two photos! Not sure when those would come out but I have a little more I want to tell (^: for funsies!

Much love morri ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

#ask #morrigan-sims #regal ask #the last regal ask?? :0 perhaps #hope everyone has had a nice warm safe Halloween #even if it’s just staying in #mwah

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ratralsis · 5 months

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It's the Same Damn Moon, Bud

I can't believe it's been over three weeks since I said I wanted to put some pressure on myself to write about "Slay the Princess," and I didn't do it. I just didn't write!

Instead, I wrote many thousands of words of my actual novel and also spent more than a hundred hours converting dozens of files from one programming language to another for my actual job, which, in case I haven't reminded you in the last few entries (I PROBABLY HAVE, THOUGH), is "computer programmer for large and faceless company you've probably never heard of and have almost certainly been affected by and we like it that way."

So, now, I'd like to write about it. It's been a while since I even played it! I'm going off of memory here, which is one of my favorite ways to write.

Slay the Princess is a visual novel that uses Ren'Py as its engine. It's creaky and not terribly well put-together, but I love it anyway, because that's the kind of gamer I am. I enjoy seeing people do strange and interesting things with engines like Ren'Py, and this is a game that absolutely does that. I imagine that its code is a mess of true/false flags that determine what dialogue appears and what options you can choose at any given point. It's part of who I am, as a computer programmer. I love imagining how things are coded.

When the game starts, you don't have to follow the title directive, that is, you don't have to go slay the princess. You can walk away. You can, in fact, continue walking away over and over until the game ends. There are achievements for it and everything. There are achievements for everything else, too. I normally don't like achievements like these in games. I like them in this game.

What bothers me about achievements in a lot of games is that I just want to play the damn game and be left alone. I want to explore. I want to see things on my own, and sometimes that means missing things. It actually means missing things quite often. I'm okay with that. I believe that everyone should have their own unique experiences when it comes to video games. It is one of the things that makes video games unique.

Recently, Super Mario RPG was re-released on Switch, and several podcasts I listen to covered it. Invariably, the first question asked by one host to the others was "What party are you using?" They all discussed how they played the game as individuals. I love that, even though I think they all made the wrong choice (everybody picks Bowser over Geno, which is simply objectively the wrong choice: Bowser can't use Geno Boost, the best goddamn ability in the game, and his attack power isn't even as high as everyone thinks it is). The fact is, that freedom to choose is what makes games special. Your choices matter. They mean something.

They mean everything.

They are the only thing that means anything.

When I played the demo of Slay the Princess roughly a thousand million years ago, I got every achievement. All the achievements were related to which Chapter 2 I saw. The choices made in Chapter 1 determine how Chapter 2 begins. That makes sense. By replaying and seeing them all, I got a sense of what kind of a game Slay the Princess is.

If you haven't played the demo, but you have played the game, then don't go back to play the demo. It's alright.

If you haven't played the demo or the game, you should probably play the demo. It's very good.

The demo ends very early in Chapter 2. You meet the Princess again, and see what has become of her, and the game ends. Or, really, it restarts. Your choices in Chapter 1 shape who she becomes. Who she is. How she greets you. If you killed her in Chapter 1, she might show up as a ghost in Chapter 2, with an X-shaped scar on her chest from where you plunged your pristine blade into her and pierced her. If she killed you, she might show up as a giant, a monster, physically imposing and powerful and ready to do it again. If you were kind to her, and did everything you could to avoid harming her, then you'll see one of two Princesses in Chapter 2: the Damsel or the Prisoner. My favorite ending of the demo was the Prisoner.

To see the Prisoner, you have to take the pristine blade when you see it in the cabin. You have to listen to the Narrator, who tells you that you have to kill her. You have to go into the basement of the cabin with the pristine blade in your hand. It doesn't matter what you say to the Princess as you descend the stairs. Of course it matters. All of it matters.

What matters more is that you mustn't actually attack the Princess. You must drop the pristine blade and speak to her. She'll speak to you. You can ask her questions, if you want. It doesn't matter, except for the fact that everything you do matters. You can ask her for name. She won't tell it to you. She is simply the Princess. You have to tell her that you don't want to kill her. That you want to rescue her. She's shackled to the wall by her wrist. She tries to gnaw off her arm like a feral wolf in a trap. You have to free her. You use the pristine blade and sever her arm. Good job, hero. She's free. You have to resist the pull of the story's Narrator and warn her that you're being forced to kill her against your will.

She'll take the pristine blade away from you, and, with her remaining hand, cut your throat, killing you.

Chapter 2 begins much like Chapter 1, except now there's an additional voice in your head joining the Narrator and the Hero: the Skeptic. You return to the cabin. The Skeptic forces you to take the pristine blade before you descend into the basement of this new cabin. It's not like the old one. It's fortified. It's solid. There's no escaping this one, and there's no escape for the Princess, either: she now has three chains attaching her to the wall. There's one for a shackle around each of her wrists, and a third iron ring around her neck. Your previous plan won't work this time. You won't be cutting her free.

I loved the Prisoner when I played the demo. She was my favorite. I liked seeing the Skeptic. I liked the idea of approaching the Princess with caution and deciding that I liked her more than the Narrator. That I didn't want to hurt her, but only after I made it clear to her that hurting her was an option. It was a fun story: two people who don't trust each other learning that they can. Then the world conspired to make sure that they couldn't try the same trick twice.

To say I was a bit disappointed by how this turned out in the final version of the game would be… well, it would be exactly right. I was a bit disappointed, but just a bit.

The Princess has a plan to escape, and it's the same plan she had the first time. She won't trust YOU with the pristine blade, so you have to give it to her. If you don't, she beats you up. This is a recurring theme in the game: the Princess beats you up in most of the paths. It's kind of sad, in a way, just how poorly you do in physical confrontations against the Princess, but I suspect that if the game had it the other way around that it would be even sadder. Can you imagine how pathetic a character she would seem if you could just slap her around at your leisure? And how pathetic a character you would be, too, for that matter?

If you trust her with the pristine blade, she will use it to cut through her own neck. This, as you might imagine, causes her to die, and her head hangs on a thin strip of flesh before gravity tears the strip and her lifeless head falls to the floor. But she asked you to take the head with you when you leave the cabin, so that's what I did. I trusted her, and she trusted me, to an extent, and now she was dead. Whatever she had planned, I would go along with it. And so, carrying her corpse's head by its long, beautiful hair, I left the cabin, and she revealed that she was actually still alive, and able to speak, and she thanked me, and then the world ended.

That's what the Narrator said would happen if I didn't slay the Princess, and I had not, in fact, slain the Princess. The Narrator was right. The world ended. Ghostly hands appeared from nowhere and they took her head away, and I saw myself in a mirror, and the voices of the Narrator and the Hero and the Skeptic fell away and I was left in the void at the end of the world with those magical hands puppeting the corpse of the headless Princess I had just saved, the one I had spent a hundred million years wondering about, wondering who she really was, what her real name was, how she was meant to end the world. Here she was, dead and possessed and confused and doing her best to give me the answers and not yet able. But she would be, if I kept going. If I started over. If I went back to Chapter 1, with no knowledge of what I had just done, and tried again, tried something different, because I would be forced to try something different, so that I could bring a new vessel to this Princess made of hands in the void at the end of the world.

What else could I do?

The game opens with this message:

Whatever horrors you find these dark spaces, have heart and see them through.

There are no premature endings. There are no wrong decisions.

There are only fresh perspectives and new beginnings.

This is a love story.

And it's true. There are no wrong decisions.

In fact, none of the decisions you make matter at all, except for all of them, and they are the only things that do.

And I did, in fact, love the Princess, and I wanted to know her better, the way one might love a statue, or a painting, or a god, and wish to know it better.

So back into the cabin I went, at the start of Chapter 1. I couldn't make the same decisions this time around. The game would not let me. So I chose a new Chapter 2 this time: the Tower.

I'll spare you the details of each choice I made. All of them mattered, but I'll tell you a secret. I'll tell you something that I've not seen a single write-up of Slay the Princess tell me, and I sincerely believe that it's the most important thing of them all: I keep saying all of your choices matter. And that's true: they do.

But they only matter to you.

My choices, the ones that I made, only matter to me.

The fact that I sent the Prisoner to the Princess made of hands first matters only to me.

The fact that I sent the Tower to the Princess made of hands second matters only to me.

The fact that I sent the Damsel to the Princess made of hands third matters only to me.

The fact that I sent the Fury to the Princess made of hands fourth matters only to me.

The fact that I sent the Witch to the Princess made of hands fifth matters only to me.

It is the only thing that matters when one plays Slay the Princess. What do you do? What do you choose? Who are you, to the Princess? Who are you, to yourself? This doesn't matter to anyone else. Nobody else will ever, ever care.

Even the Princess doesn't care. The Princess made of hands will finally gain enough knowledge after the fifth vessel brought to her to regain her full consciousness, and you will have an opportunity to speak with the Narrator a final time before you meet her. He will answer some of your questions.

So will she, each time you see her.

I won't bore you with the details.

What matters is that the Princess, as we all suspected, those of us who played the demo, and who played it dozens of times to see everything we could, is indeed a Lovecraftian cosmic horror. She contains multitudes. She contains all the vessels we gave to her and more. She is all of them. She is change incarnate: the Shifting Mound is her name. She was never a Princess, but that's how you saw her. You saw a Princess before, but now she is a goddess capable of destroying universes, and she wants you to join her, to take her many hands and end this world just like the Narrator said she would.

You have choices here, of course, just as you had them every other step of the way. None of them matter any more or any less than any other choice you've made. What did you ask the Narrator when you had the chance? It doesn't matter. What vessels did you bring to the Shifting Mound? Doesn't matter. You'll reach this point no matter what you chose, unless you ended the game early. Here you are, and here she is, and now you have a new set of choices.

I didn't want to kill her.

I didn't want to destroy the universe.

So I didn't.

I went back to the cabin, one last time, along with the voice of the Hero. The Narrator was gone, but I was there, and the voice of the Hero was there, and the pristine blade was there. I chose not to take it.

The princess greeted me as I made my way down the stairs for the final time. "And there you are," She said. "Hands empty. So you don't feel like reacreating our first meeting detail for detail. I wonder what else will be different."

She misspelled the word "recreating." That bothered me. I wonder if it was ever fixed. I saw several updates saying that typos were fixed, but I haven't checked this one in a while.

I learned later that this can be different if you didn't take the pristine blade with you when you first met her the first time you played through Chapter 1, but it doesn't matter any more than anything else.

I told her I didn't want to be a god, and she said she didn't, either. I asked her to leave the cabin with me, and she agreed.

I told her I loved her.

She was embarrassed, and said she loved me, too, but didn't want to be all sappy about it.

We left the cabin.

The game ended.

I was told that my unique path through the game would be represented by "Our Song," and here it is.

And none of this, none of it, matters, except to me, and to me, it's the only thing that does.

The game has a lot of achievements. I mentioned that before. No matter what you do, you'll unlock achievements. If you meet the Witch in Chapter 2, you can gain enough of her trust to get her to agree to climb the stairs out of the cabin with you. You can let her go first and stab her in the back, or you can go first and she'll stab you in the back. These choices are mutually exclusive, and each have their own achievement. This encourages you to see everything. To see how much and how little each choice you make matters. To encourage you to keep replaying the game, to get your perfect "Our Song," to see all of her forms and her shapes and how you can shape her, and that is what you do with your choices.

The Princess, the vessel for the Shifting Mound, is a reactive creature. You are the only thing in the game world that makes choices. She will always react to you coming down the stairs with the pristine blade with the same dialogue each time you do so. It's mechanical. It's a computer program. There's nothing random about it. There are no ghosts in this machine: she is only a machine. Your choices are all that matter, even though none of them do. You will, no matter what you choose, eventually reach a point where the world ends and the hands of the Shifting Mound appear from nowhere to claim a new vessel. Sometimes the vessel is nothing more than a heart, cut out from a body made of metal blades. Sometimes the vessel is so large that all you can see is the giant head, hands of the Shifting Mount covering its eyes. Sometimes the vessel is a head and torn-open torso without a heart at all, and sometimes the vessel is a beast, a six-legged lion, a ghost, or a rotted skeleton.

It doesn't matter. The Shifting Mound does not care.

Some of her dialogue does change, it turns out. The first couple of times you see the Shifting Mound, her dialogue is always the same, but if the vessels liked you, or made it outside, then some of the Shifting Mound's dialogue is more positive. If they didn't like you, if you were always hostile and cruel, then some of her dialogue is more negative about the world outside. It's subtle, but it's true. I can prove it. I've seen it.

But nothing will change the fact that, after the fifth vessel is taken, you will face off with the Narrator and then with the Shifting Mound, and then you have to make your choices. How does the game end? Do you end the universe with her? Do you kill her, once and for all? Do you leave the cabin with her for an unknown world where neither of you are gods? Do you kill her in the cabin and start the entire cycle over once again, either kicking the can down the road or, perhaps, perpetuating a cycle that's always been happening and always will?

No matter what you choose, you will find a page that tells you "Our Song." And it will be yours, and yours alone, and it will matter only to you.

According to deeply-flawed website Goodreads.com, the sex-and-alcohol-loving Buddhist monk Ikkyu once said that "Many paths lead from the foot of the mountain, but at the peak we all gaze at the single bright moon." In other words, just because the ending is the same, everyone can take their own path to get there.

You won't see that in a movie, or in a novel. You might think you're being clever by saying "What about Choose Your Own Adventure novels?", but fuck you, those are just single-player games, and so is Slay the Princess. It's a single-player game, and it has the same final screens no matter what you do, except for the fact that we all took a different path there.

Statistically, given enough players, I'm sure that someone else has or will get to the ending the same way that I first did. And that's okay. Ikkyu didn't say that everybody was unique, and neither shall I.

All I'll say, and what I think Slay the Princess is saying, even if the writers didn't mean for it to, is that your choices matter, even if they don't seem like they do. Even if they don't matter to anyone else.

So choose carefully. It all matters.

#rpstp #ratralsis plays #ratralsis writing #long post #slay tbe princess #text post

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railwaycuckoo · 5 months

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27/11/23

Carrion flowers

In hopes a digital journal will make me more consistent.

Remember when he said - medium makes up 90% the essence of a poem. Remember her writing with such a passion, always in cursive, and me, typing on a phone.

She's now a drug addicted mother. I'm a scavenger, a rat. I carry leprosy, anthrax, curse.

Things don't feel as serious, real, when typed, even though my poetry, let's face it, consisted of trauma live or past coverage, it didn't feel real, for a long time. Slipped unseen. It wasn't my story, reporting from life of somebody else.

I've always been separate from my emotions. I've been separating myself from them since I was a kid. Unlike most things, I'm good at it. I can detach the act from the actor and so a lot of times I'm losing track of what had really happened.

Memories, half lived and half created, strung between history and, of consistency needs, holes being filled with what could've happened, could've been said, seen, heard.

Not to look for excuses, as I think, I passed the point where you still try to believe that water is clear at the spring.

I asked my therapist (isn't it just pathetic, whatever you believe, that we're all giving out our dark, our weak, spilling our guts onto paid strangers, somehow specialized in making out sense of what can't and shouldn't be shared, isn't it desperate, fucking sad?) if it may be true that being a good person is a choice. It never seemed to just ooze out of me like it does for some people.

Always fascinated by what's malicious, ugly, putrid. My favorite cartoon characters were the antagonists, I loved spiders and bogs, the outcasts, the cuckoos, the mold.

I love the idea of closeness, sensitivity, innocence, of love, of connection, dedication, openness, I love the pictures, the movies, I crave what I imagine the feeling to be.

But the real experience of it, just like anything or anyone, I guess, never matched.

So I endorse ideas. Trapped is a stupid ass Plato dualist world where they seem to be more genuine than what happens between the skins.

It would be funny if I was 15 again.

Possibly, it would get me some nice girl to swirl around my daydreaming, buzzing screen, where they carry heads, like a satellite. Like a bee circling 'round flower. Mimesis crypsis.

I watched you change into a fly, I looked away you were on fire. And I watched a change in you, it's like you never had wings.

About three weeks and not by chance - I'm living half a life, I don't remember dreams - you've been coming or I have, damned will to part.

It happened before, it's microwaved. Dull, soggy, half-cocked.

I wrote a poem, years ago. No record.

I asked her to exit my sleep. I was slowly pulling her long, pink dyed hair out of my mouth. And I was asking to leave, repeating it like a mantra.

Something is singing, beeping, clanking in the ceiling, pipes. It happened before.

I wrote a poem, years ago.

Rain in the gutter, Geiger counter. (...)

Someone has spat on me from your window.

It's not a blessing.

Night watchman, arm in a sling,

foreswearing under oath.

Maybe I'll hear from you tonight, once more.

Seems like I'm casting your shadow, can't let ideas

Fleet.

In case you ever find this journal, I'm sorry.

#journal #spilled poetry #journalling #poetry #writing #prose #prose poetry #reading #poems on tumblr #dear diary #deftones #Beck #eternal sunshine of the spotless mind #deja vu #time loop #therapy #actually mentally ill #Spotify

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hannibalismos-jaaneman · 8 months

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rec three books you want everyone to read

okay so this has changed so much since last year i realised i was reading the worst books ever written like wtf-

so the first one would be- no longer human by osamu dazai which i read in the original japanese- hear me out i don't know japanese AT ALL.

when i read the book in english, i found it a lot like- i don't know the words didn't seem to have a voice but i was absolutely obsessed with the story, so i did the most sensible thing there was to do- i picked up a japanese dictionary and went through it seven times and found that i had picked up a lot of words (i personally think that was all of the dictionary it was the best one there was online) and then i sat with it to read the book again and my mind- WAS BLOWN. there is just some fucking thing about japanese writers i always knew that but i never did know that their works in japanese are the ones that truly matter. it was beautiful istg i would've slit my own throat to have read the japanese version first.

second i'd say would be the bell jar by sylvia plath

there's so much- so many words- like- cannot explain- just read. okay i might say a few things tho i'm not gonna recommend anything without a story. so i love this woman? like more than anything? as much as i love my mom? i want to ressurect her and keep her in my closet? like- wtf- this book killed my mind after i finished reading it. and i have only been reading books for their brilliant writing and nothing else and this book is a fucking triumph yes just the way i like to say about oscar wilde- if this was the only damn book she ever wrote it was worth it. like- i'm obviously obsessed with sylvia y'all know that but this book builds you up till it ends and tears you apart to birth this new person with a different perspective towards life like istg the only way to describe this book is that after reading it you'll start loving your mother, whatever that fucks up in your relationship with her is purely on you.

the third one- hmm- lmao ofc it's another japanese author like duh- remains of the day by kazuo ishiguro

and believe me ismail, jim and ruth (she's the only person EVER to have won both the booker and the oscar what a fucking queen) did this book justice just the way they always did. like- istg i have never hated anything they've adapted like wtf the consistency is off the fucking charts- room with a view, howard's end, the householder just nothing short of fucking brilliant.

anyways the book is so- japanese ofc it is but it was ishiguro was brought up in britain so you'd expect something different yeah the characters are of the stick-in-the-mud-british variety but they also have this uncanny japanese mannerism (not exactly as in the way they sit or greet ofc not but like- idk i've been told i have japanese mannerism but like- i'm nowhere close to being a japanese person myself so yeah) and it's really just- a kiss to the soul it's so calming and it makes you lowkey hate the british a little which ideally- um well, i am from a colonized country so *ehm* excuse me (if you've watched the crown that is, otherwise this will be you hitching your wagon to the wtf britain club). but like it's so- nice. i can't really- describe it. it's more about the story itself and less about how it's written but both are equally *chef's kiss*.

#raya <3 #mutuals asks #my asks #asks #book recs #books #literati #film

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cyarskaren52 · 8 months

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Fans honor Kobe and Gianna Bryant on the three-year anniversary of their passing

Fans on Twitter are honoring Kobe and Gianna with the trending topic RIP Bean, which references the NBA legend’s nickname.

Today (Jan. 26), fans from all over the world are remembering Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna Bryant on the three-year anniversary of their death.

In 2020, Kobe, Gianna, and six of their friends — John Altobelli, Keri Altobelli, Alyssa Altobelli, Sarah Chester, Payton Chester, and Christina Mauser — were on their way to a basketball tournament at Kobe’s Mamba Sports Academy in Thousand Oaks, California. The group was in a helicopter flown by pilot Ara Zobayan when it crashed on a hillside in Calabasas, just 14 miles away from their destination.

In June of 2021, Kobe’s wife, Vanessa Bryant, filed a wrongful death lawsuit against Island Express Helicopters, which was settled for an undisclosed amount.

Fans on Twitter are honoring Kobe and Gianna with the trending hashtag, RIP Bean, which references the NBA legend’s nickname. “Three years have gone since Kobe Bryant’s death. Many of us may agree that since that day, something has been odd. That’s how he was. Through souls like this, God ignites the world. Bean, RIP. Everyday, you are missed! RIP Bean. #BeanBoy #RipLegend,” StorriTalk wrote.

Three years have gone since Kobe Bryant's death. Many of us may agree that since that day, something has been odd. That's how he was. Through souls like this, God ignites the world. Bean, RIP. Every day, you are missed! 🥹 RIP Bean #BeanBoy #RipLegendpic.twitter.com/LgfT6Uw3QW — Storritalk (@StorriTalk) January 26, 2023

“It’s hard to believe it’s been three years, Kobe and Gigi, since you have been gone. You will always be missed. RIP Bean #RipGigi #RIPKobe,” said James Riley.

It’s hard to believe it’s been three years Kobe and Gigi since you have been gone. You will always be missed. RIP Bean #RipGigi #RIPKobepic.twitter.com/mWH3s0SNQM — James Riley (@james_riley12) January 26, 2023

“Still hurts. Always will,” Porscha Coleman tweeted.

Still hurts. Always will 💔🙏🏽 #KobeBryant#GiannaBryant #fatherdaughter #MambaForever#KobeAndGiGi https://t.co/e9uBJXCXK4 — Porscha Coleman (@PorschaColeman) January 26, 2023

Joseph Vincent wrote, “Kobe Bryant was a freak of nature. Remarkable feats were commonplace to him. Remember when he scored 62 in [three] quarters? Outscoring the Mavs’ entire team by himself? How about when he scored 81? Let’s remember together. Rip Bean.”

Kobe Bryant was a freak of nature. Remarkable feats were commonplace to him. Remember when he scored 62 in 3 quarters? Outscoring the Mavs entire team by himself? How about when he scored 81? Let's remember together. Rip Bean. pic.twitter.com/JTEiDJSyNo — Joseph Vincent (@BoredFilm) January 26, 2023

“This year I am 24. I will honor Kobe by my dedication to the game. RIP Bean,” another Twitter user wrote.

This year I am 24. I will honor Kobe by my dedication to the Game. RIP Bean https://t.co/umQXczT1DH — Trevor I. Lewis (@TrevorILewis1) January 26, 2023

“First celebrity death that I actually shed tears over. One of the craziest days ever. RIP Bean,” J. Moore said.

First celebrity death that I actually shed tears over. One of the craziest days ever. RIP, Bean 💜💛 https://t.co/5MYriGI0YF — J. Moore (@JonWas_Here) January 26, 2023

See more tributes to Kobe and Gianna below:

Rip to Kobe, Gianna, and the 7 others that lost their lives in the helicopter crash 3 years ago today 💜💛 pic.twitter.com/YHjhpBk6Tw — WAVE¥™️ 👑🌊 (@welovekanyeTM) January 26, 2023

The death of Kobe, Gianna, and their close friends still don’t sit well with me. Sending prayers to their families 🤍 — Lani (@Lanierbear) January 26, 2023

Damn I can't believe it's been 3 years today. RIP Bean and Gigi 💜💛 pic.twitter.com/uul27W6YpD — Candace (@StayTruThinkBlu) January 26, 2023

The world stopped 3 yrs ago… RIP Bean 🙏🏾🕊️😪💛💜 pic.twitter.com/GOhtpIfREo — Eazy (@aint__eazy) January 26, 2023

Who does this type of shit? Lmao different breed. RIP Bean man 🤣 pic.twitter.com/FpV3vO5mFK — Washed (@CousinJawon) January 26, 2023

This Kobe Bryant video is exactly what you need to see right now💯 Mamba Forever 💜💛 pic.twitter.com/Ywl41JpQJh — Mamba Insider (@Mamba_Insider) January 26, 2023

RIP Bean ❤️❤️ pic.twitter.com/qnNetZpNQZ — Elizabeth Carroll (@3beth11) January 26, 2023

Sent from my iPhone

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deadlyflames · 1 year

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Swanfire Month Day 13: What made you start to ship Swanfire?

Short Story:

Over 10 years ago, I started writing this fic based on the Baelfire = Henry’s Dad theory after the Return came out. This was way before Tallahassee aired, so we didn’t know anything about Neal.

I would scour old episodes for hints about Henry’s dad and obsessively rewatch Baelfire’s scenes. I got so invested coming up with head-cannon's on how these guys got together that it was impossible for me not to ship it.

I was like 15 when I wrote this fic, and looking back on it now, it’s super cringy and not well written. There's a lot I would do differently now, but for something I wrote as a teenager, I guess it could be worse.

But I’m still proud of 15 year old me for being one of the first Swanfire shippers.

( Neal C./Baelfire and Emma fanfiction sorted by publish date.)

Anyway, even though a lot of my theories were off, I’ve been on this ship ever since.

Long Story under the cut:

Strap in, this is a long explanation featuring a lot of my past tinfoil hatting.

Late April ish - early May ish 2012: I can't quite remember

So I was really hung up on Rumbelle way back when, after ‘Skin Deep’ came out.

I can’t remember the name (and I cant freaking find it!), but I remember reading a Rumbelle fic that mentioned Henry spilling hot chocolate on Mr. Gold’s suit or something. And the narration made an off hand comment that Mr. Gold was more lenient with Henry because he had similar coloring to Bae (dark hair, brown eyes).

And that one little statement made my mind go wild.

This was right after ‘The Return’ aired. We knew Baelfire went to a land without magic and we knew Mr. Gold made the curse to look for him, so it was likely he was going to feature in the future somehow.

Ouat: 1x19

We also knew Henry had a mystery father. We knew he was probably alive given how Emma talked about him. And we knew he didn’t know that Henry existed.

Ouat : 1x01

"And the father?"

"There was one."

"Do I need to be worried about him?"

"No. He doesn’t even know."

Ouat: 1x09

“Henry’s father was no hero. And trust me, he does not need to know the real story.”

We also know he’s probably got the brown hair and brown eyes (dominant genes) that Henry inherited, since Emma has blonde hair and green eyes (recessive genes).

So we’ve got the son of a major character. The reason that this big curse was created and the reason Rumplestilskin manipulates everyone around him. Currently MIA.

And we’ve got Henry’s mystery dad. Emma’s past love interest who did something bad to her and the betrayal cut her deep. Also MIA.

And we know both these characters have brown hair and brown eyes.

So I put on my tinfoil hat and made a whole damn fic about how these two guys could possibly be the same person.

Truth or Lie: published May 28th, 2012

So at this point, there are a few people that were believing the Henry’s Dad=Bae conspiracy, but it wasn’t a super common theory from what I remember. I remember seeing a few posts about it and there were at least these three fics that came out before mine that featured it.

(As far as I remember, Happily ever after by Earthia was the first fic that featured Bae as Henry's dad. (And it was published right after the Return came out too, like damn. they were on the ball)

I went through all the season 1 episodes and came up with all these head-cannons. And when you spend so much time on something you get pretty emotionally attached to the idea.

I remember scrambling to think of a reason how Baelfire left the Enchanted forest 300 years prior and was still alive in the real world. I mean, Rumplestilskin thought he was alive, given how he thought Bae was August. My mental explanation was that, as Rumple said, the bean made him cross the barriers of Time and Space.

Ouat: 1x19

Turned out to be wrong but whatever.

I thought Henry’s dad was the married guy Emma kept mentioning. She seemed pretty forlorn about it, she mentioned that the married guy she dated wouldn’t tell her his real name and she hadn’t known he was married until later. Figured it was a big enough thing that it would explain her anger towards him and the fact that she never told him about Henry

Ouat: 1x05

"You're smart, you know not to get involved with a married guy. It's not worth the heartache. Trust me."

Ouat: 1x14

"See, I have a policy. I won't go out with guys who won't tell me their names. I find it weeds out the ones who like to keep secrets. Like their already married or they store body parts in their freezer."

That also turned out to be wrong.

I thought maybe they had known each other in the foster system. Considering they were both orphans, both abandoned. I thought it would be cute if they knew each other growing up.

Ouat: 1x09

"I spent a lot of time with kids in your situation."

Also wrong. Though I think this was a missed opportunity but whatever.

I noticed the swan pendant that Emma always wore and I thought maybe it was a gift that Baelfire gave her. I even put it in my fic.

Ouat: 1x09

That actually turned out to be right. Yay.

Ouat: 2x06

And I also thought Baelfire was the person August called in the beginning of the Return. I thought they were somehow working together to get Emma to break the curse. Seemed like a reasonable-ish explanation on how he knew about the dagger.

ouat: 1x19

This was probably wrong? Did we ever find out who August was talking to?

September 30th, 2012: When the first episode of season 2 came out, I was utterly convinced this random guy in New York was Bae.

Ouat 2x01:

Truth or Lie: chapter 16: published Oct 2, 2012

November 4th, 2012: When Tallahassee aired and I realized how off I had been I was a bit frustrated by that XD

Truth or Lie: chapter 23: published November 11th, 2012

After that, even though I turned out to be wrong on most of the details of the Swanfire love story, I was still on the Neal = Baelfire ship and still shipping them like crazy. And after Manhattan came out, I was absolutely ecstatic.

Nearly a decade later, I've really grown to prefer the canon story. I love the chemistry and relationship between Emma and Neal in Tallahassee. Two homeless kids finding home in each other. Meet-cute via robbery. That’s damn beautiful.

I also loved the extra stuff that happened in Bae's past (the Darlings, Hook, Neverland, growing up in our world as a thief). It adds a lot of intrigue to his character, even though a lot of it wasn’t explored to its full potential.

So that’s my very long explanation of how I got obsessed with this ship and then never got off of it.

#swanfire #swanfire month 2022 #ouat #once upon a time #emma swan #baelfire #nealfire #neal cassidy #swanthief

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carladuquette · 1 year

Note

14 and 17 for the writing ask💗💗

thanks for asking 💕

14. What’s your worst writing habit?

Easy- taking forever to update! And then when I do write, doing it late at night when I'm most productive and staying up way past a reasonable bed time when I need to work the next morning.

17. What is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

Significantly less easy, haha. Since I'm currently working on the next Close your eyes chapter, that's on my mind. One line I like from this fic is Val's promise to Lu when he rushes to her side after she's had another blackout and is scared she told her therapist about Polo:

"You are the most important person in my life. I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe, Lulu. I got you. Promise."

It's nothing special out of context, but there are several layers to it. First of all it's exactly what Lu needs to hear, it pulls her from this panicked spiral she's in. Val knew exactly the right thing to say (and he's not just saying it, he 100% means it, too).

It's also a callback to the last time Val sat in the shower with Lu, that Christmas in Norway when they were little and he pulled her from the snow- the words are almost exactly the same. He was there for her then and he's there for her now.

Him using her childhood nickname reinforces that feeling of security he provided for her back then and today. That's cute, but it's also kind of sad. When they were kids, Val was the only person Lu could count on. Now there are other people in Lu's life who love her, too, but she's at such a low point here that she cannot see that - that's why she called him for help.

Same with the first part of that line, You are the most important person in my life. No one gave a damn about Valerio when he was growing up except for Lu. Now he has the chance to build his own family with Leo, a woman who loves him and who's weeks away from giving birth to his child. But he drops all that without a second thought because Lu is what matters most to him. A beautiful sentiment, sure, but it also shows how caught up he is in his codependent relationship with Lu.

SORRY, that was probably more than you ever wanted to know, haha. I just thought about this line a lot when I wrote it.

ETA: I can't believe I have more to add, but I forgot that I wanted to include a line from an older fic, too. Polo thinking about Carla in the pre-canon Summer state of mind:

Polo had been looking to his right, to Carla, before making any decision of consequence for the past three years. Coming up with a plan himself in a crisis like this seemed as absurd to him as telling fire fighters what to do while his house was going up in flames.

Ok, now I'll shut up and go to bed.

Writing ask game

#seriously thank you for this particular ask #ask answered #fanfiction #writing #close your eyes #lu x valerio #these two still break my heart #lucrecia montesinos #valerio montesinos #carla x polo #elite #carla going on for longer than anyone could possibly want to read

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dancing-to-architecture · 11 months

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10 of 1001

Today's album: Meatloaf - Bat Out of Hell (1977)

The Loaf arrives!

Now, here is an album cover that I've always thought looked cool as hell since i first saw it in my dad's milk crate full of LPs, but i never got around to actually listening to it (mostly because i was really into the Beatles at that point in time, specifically Sgt. Pepper, incidentally another one of the album covers of all time, and not long after my Beatles phase came the phase i call "the total collapse of my parents' marriage" which led to a distinct and immediate lack of access to any part of my dad's record collection from then on).

Okay, unnecessary family history corner is now over, time to start Loafing.

Right off the bat, before I've even hit play, i have to notice: 7 songs, 46+ minute runtime, which means that the average song length is over 6 minutes. Now, something like this can be as much a positive thing for me as a negative thing.

On the one hand, there's been The Doors' tiresome meandering and King Crimson's acid jazz (in that 'it's about the notes you don't play', and no notes were played for like 3 minutes), but on the other hand I'm also fairly into post-rock and i have, on multiple occasions, referred to a 20+ minute long song by Godspeed You! Black Emperor as "a banger". (Rockets Fall on Rocket Falls is a killer, fight me.) Then i remembered that this is Meatloaf, the King of the Power Ballad, and also that Paradise by the Dashboard Light is roughly 174 minutes long.

Bat Out of Hell-

This intro fucking rules! Goddamn, that piano player should be chained to a wall somewhere for pounding on those keys that hard.

Some really great lines here "nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole/

And everything is stunted and lost/

And nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls

And nothing's ever worth the cost." PREACH.

Man, so much happens in this one song. It's a love song, it's a one night stand song, it's got the sudden and violent death of the narrator/pov character in the opening song of what i was led to believe was a three-album rock opera-lite... Hell, I've written legitimate short stories where less plot happens than within this song.

You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)-

To know me is to know that I've offered my throat to much more dangerous things than the wolf with the red roses.

Kind of a repetitive chorus, but it's only 5 minutes long, how is *anybody* supposed to tell a story in that short of an amount of time? :V

Heaven Can Wait-

So i was *almost* in this play in high school and- oh, this is a different thing.

"And all i got is time until the end of time" is a great line.

Okay, for real, who was the pianist on this album? (Aside: Bat Out of Hell was composed by Jim Steinman, who has *one hell* of a Wikipedia page, and the piano played by Roy Bitten of the goddamned E STREET BAND. Wait, also mixed by Todd Rundgren? Hot damn, no wonder this is like the 6th best-selling album of all time.)

All Revved Up with No Place to Go-

Well that's some Springsteeny as FUCK horns there, huh?

And to be honest with you, Mr. Loaf? No, i don't really know what that's like. Most of the time I'm put into situations with little to no revving whatsoever, and it's infrequent that i really desire a place to go, especially if I'm already home.

The middle breakdown about drawing first blood just feels strange and kinda out of place to me, but i am Not a person who wrote three albums with combined 100 million units sold, so my opinion is just that.

The faster end right after that kicks some ass, though.

Two out of Three Ain't Bad-

Well the title is regarding what might be the most depressing sentiment i can think of.

And then the second verse starts and it stays sad, just in a dramatically different way. Sad in a "okay, yeesh, get over your old flame already, dude, you said it yourself, it's been YEARS" kind of way.

Like Stephen Stills said (7 years before this album came out): "if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with", because this? just ain't it. Open up your heart a bit.

Paradise By the Dashboard Light- I've heard this song a number of times throughout my life, and i don't think i ever clocked just how insanely horny it is.

I guess i never really thought too hard about the lyrics, mostly because the last time i heard this song it was on the radio and i was still a kid. The baseball announcer part is kinda clever about it at least.

Ellen Foley CRUSHES her part of the duet. It's like the power-belting is a competition between her and Loaf, and she's gonna get that fuckin gold, come hell or high water.

Also just saying, ladies, if you ask someone if they love you, and they say "uhh, get back to me on that one, i gotta sleep on it"? They don't, and they won't. Don't waste your time.

But that last line is still pretty hilarious, all said and done.

For Crying Out Loud-

Okay, if this album and the two after, the trinity of bats into and out of hell, are all supposed to be like one continuous story throughout, then this song's placement right after Paradise is incredibly darkly funny.

Also, do we really need the image of meatloaf's turgid hog ripping through his jeans, twice? in one song?

(It's not so explicit, but you tell me what "can't you see my faded Levi's bursting apart?" is regarding, because while Meatloaf was a bigger dude, i really don't think he's talking about splitting the seam on the ass, and there are definitely other rhymes for "heart".)

Also, another false ending with 3 minutes left in the song. These songs wouldn't be so long if you stopped *trying* to end them and just ended them, man. (I'm being facetious here, but only kinda.)

Overall, a really good album. I can easily see why it sold so many copies, but i was honestly expecting it to be a bit heavier, given how hard that cover art goes.

Favorite Track: Bat Out of Hell! That intro, the economy of storytelling within (it's. so. much. plot!), the piano is on fire, all in all just one (bat out of) hell of an opening song.

Least Favorite Track: initially, i was gonna say You Took the Words, mostly for the repetition at the close of it, but actually sitting down and reading the lyrics to Two Out of Three Ain't Bad REALLY killed that song for me. It is bad, and you should feel shame.

#1001 albums #dancing to architecture #meat loaf #bat out of hell

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qprsmackdown · 9 months

Text

IRL/OC Bracket: C & G vs Alic and Gray!

C & G propaganda:

Ok so these next few paragraphs are copy pasted from what I wrote on queering the map. Hope it makes you cry :) (Entries were written around mid-2020, with the last being written in 2023)

Alic and Gray propaganda: Babes are fuckin THE qpr power couple for idiots. gray is the prince of the local country and his bestie/qpr partner alic is a local fantasy jock celebrity and they've been close since they were kids. their love language is taking "would you jump off a cliff if they told you to" from metaphorical to literal to hardcore metaphorical as in following each other into death in order to bring them back to life kicking and screaming even if that means not knowing if they themselves are going to be able to follow them back to life. anyway i wuv them and i think that should be enough More Alic and Gray propaganda!

#qpr tournament #qpr smackdown #oc/real life qpr bracket #mod zazie

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sergeantnarwhalwrites · 1 year

Text

My Characters as Excerpts from poems I wrote/started

Note: A lot of my poetry is shit I write to vent and to get my thoughts down really quick. So a lot of them are intense and very scattered in thoughts. XD Also some of these excerpts are from the same poem. And the second one under Digits is the whole thing I think? I forgot I wrote it.

Cosma

Or did that sound a little to manly?

A bit overconfident.

Arrogant?

Who cares about that preconceived notion.

Social constructs are so boring and toxic.

I'm trying to live my life without getting kicked to the side in silence.

I ain't whimpering under some notion

That denies every positive motion

And takes a shit on people's emotions.

Drowning a bitch like it's a bottomless ocean.

and

I'm like a beat drop

Aggressive and ear shattering

Not everyone's cup of tea

But I fall hard and unexpectedly

Arc

Well

I'm just a facet to be manipulated and utilized regardless of the will of the land.

Cause everybody else deciding what the land want.

Maybe the land is desiring my demise.

and

You know that parent thing where they lie to you for years.

Build that lie for years so they can stack that hypocrisy.

Stacking like a mason stacks bricks.

Exceptionally!

Tharion

Make America Great Again

It makes me want to recoil beneath my own skin

Cause those words breathing down my neck

And touching me without consent.

Every time I see a red hat I feel myself shivering at the thought that

That some fool really believe they the hero in this story.

Thinking they a vigilante as they walk over the corpses that defied their warped reality.

Greeter

We could all get into that insta baddie business.

So post all your business.

We seriously mean that shit.

Talking like I'm right beside the vibrating speaker

Filled with base.

Like damn I'm screaming over the longest beat drop I've come to face.

I have to leave them lying there in distaste

Force them to remember my face.

and

I'm so tired

Tired of trying.

A warmth covers me.

A bit too much to be comforting

It covers me.

I cave.

It was so easy too.

I'm exhausted.

Digits

My clothes have absorbed too many tears

Soaked and dragging me.

Pulling me down gradually.

My knee hit the ground

Then the other.

My stomach reaches my soul that's been lying on the ground since forever.

And my head finally taps the ground.

Bro I've K.O-ed

A little further would've been a fatality.

and

You in your feelings?

You...

In your feelings?

Ha been kicking those bitches to the curb

Since they started piling on.

Your a fool for letting them cling on so long.

But go on player.

You get paid to carry this out.

How can you allow such a thing to happen

Without some green on the side.

Makes the job worthwhile.

Damn player

Getting played by your emotions.

Donnie

I sold my soul today

Because I couldn't afford that all too high price of living another day.

I've been settling for far too long

Need to stick my hand into the boiling water and stir the pot.

Because my hand is the best utensil I got.

and

Getting beat down like Rocky's dumbass in a match.

One two bop.

One two bop bop.

Three four badap.

And bitch I'm collapsing.

Hitting the ground so fucking hard

I've bounced a bit

My body reverberating cause it's a broken machine.

Rumbling and tumbling cause that shit can't keep going.

Hollis

Pull up the social media.

Spread the fucking word.

Even I know social media is absurd.

Spread the fucking word.

I see y'all typing.

Go ahead and get to writing.

We ain't hiding.

We ain't shying away.

I want to be all over your social media page.

Green

I'm one wrong word away from losing it all.

But if another motherfucker tells me to take a deep breath I'll risk it all.

Cock back a fist like every white radical cocks back a gun

Let that bitch go and don't let a motherfucker run.

and

Guess I've been doing a Rocky.

Letting my head get beat in

Till I go brain dead

Can't tell you what my plan is

Struggling to speak over my incompetence

That's got the speaker on full blast

So strong the windows rattling

And after a while, I take to aggressive actions.

Taking my fucking body and slamming it against.

All those opposing things that discredit.

Peace

I know my throat is bleeding

But shit!

I'm still going to scream.

A bitch needs a victory!

and

Don't

Think

You

Deserve

The

Things

You're

Asking

For.

Shut up and listen.

Who told you to put your thoughts and feelings into this?

Absolutely disgusting.

You're not good enough to get the full cut!

You're not rich enough

Sorry, I meant valuable enough!

Crap did it again!

Not worthy enough!

Bleeep enough!

Elliot

Fill the silence.

Your voice is stronger than mine.

My voice is feeble

After years of idling

Idling is this weird abyss.

Scream out your feelings little man.

They can't always be forced within.

and

But you've proven unworthy

Dumb, deaf, and you don't care to listen

I'm--

You're not even good enough to be an honorary mention.

Saz

You ever look into his unblinking eyes?

The purple dinosaur out to steal your kids.

Trying to give the affection their momma wouldn't give.

Run from the big purple dinosaur.

That man gonna steal your kids.

Won't resist giving these kids an unhealthy squeeze.

As he seizes the product of your unwanted accident.

Julie

So I opened my arms wide and screamed up to the sky

"I regret being here. I regret being alive."

Now I'm here.

Soulless, never truly knowing if the breath I'm breathing is mine.

But I kinda like the absence of mind

Cause now all the bad thoughts ain't even mine.

and

I remember being unabashedly myself and being mocked by family members.

Mocked by strangers.

Mocked by students dragging themselves through the day with superficial grins and words that burned like a snake's venom.

Mocked enough to take a step back and watch from the outside.

Cause getting mocked enough will twist the mind.

And I hate to admit it but it twisted mine

Ian

I'm tired of diving so deep into my thoughts.

The pressure of the water crushing my bones.

Sending my organs oozing out of orifices I've never even thought of.

I can imagine myself sinking.

Sinking so damn deep there ain't no more light.

And my corpse is a snack to the mysteries beneath.

I'm exhausted.

Damn I'm exhausted.

and

But I joke about it now.

And like the seagulls that swarm the bay they all laugh with me.

Not acknowledging that they were the same ones laughing at me.

Mocking and excluding me.

Because I only fit one thing in their teen perspectives, far to shallow to conceal my body.

#writeblr #poetblr #poetry #original characters #long post #show off some of the poetry I don't really post #yes I decided to do this tonight #I needed a break from my exam stuff. I'm forcing my way through #probably reblogging later

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valleynix · 1 year

Note

I've seen the game twice! the moment it was released but it didn't got me then (perhaps cause it was disappointing which could have cooled down my hype) but recently my brian decided that yo remember those three fly women? They're your new hypefixation good luck!

(Dani was so damn right when she said everyone falls for her in time)

So here I am🧍a bit late to the party

With how long the chapters are I'm making notes while reading if something in particular catches my attention, so I won't forget hah... It might be a bit messy but that's the comments I have for chapter 3&4!

^ I've never seen anyone mention the daughters' wounds/scars on their heads I like the little detail.

^ It really feels like we're time travelling/see the glitches as the two worlds/timelines collide.

Especially with the dying maid, scene with Alcina playing the piano and the magically disappearing food.

I want to know so badly how it looked like in your head while you were writing it. And all the missing puzzle pieces.

^ THE LITTLE BONDING TIME WITH BELA AS THEY READ TOGETHER *screaming begins again*

^ DANIELA SHE SHE–

My God I feel like the lvl of the happy chemicals in my brain goes up every time she's mentioned.

^ Cassandra certainly knows how to make a DRAMATIC entry (the breakfast in ch.4)

^ The Cass/Dani moment in the forest *cries* so soft

I love to see the daughters interact with each other and get an insight in their relationship as well

^ I absolutely adore how they might be bloodthirsty cannibals who torture people now and then but draw a line at SA and are respectful of the personal space and boundaries

see, i wasn't too hyped with the game when it first came out (mostly because i hadn't finished Biohazard at that point), but i got into it, like... a little over a year ago?? and it has been both hell and joyous since :') but i'm really glad you've joined the party!! i hope you've enjoyed it so far :D

god, yeah, the chapters range anywhere from, like, 15k-30k? it's a WILD mess out there, but i prefer that over short and pointless chapters, if that makes sense? it gives me a bigger project to work on, too >:)

(let me asterisk each point you've made to talk about it :D)

*i LOVE the detail of their scars and each sister having a different one (like Dani's being the messiest/biggest of the three and Bela's being the most hidden), and i do wonder why more people don't talk about it? it makes them seem more... them

*hehe, i am most interested to hear what you'll have to say on this subject if you continue reading on >:) i can't reveal too much since you're still early on, but i will say that it'll make sense soon enough (and as for wanting to know how that scene went in my head, i could definitely write it out better if y'all want, but i'd have to go back and reread that scene to be sure sdkjfhs)

*GOD I LOVE BELA SO MUCH, she's such a nerd

*DANIELA!! i adore her to little pieces and i definitely feel she gets mentioned a lot LMAOO, i am slightly (majorly) biased when it comes to her and what scenes she gets <33

*Cass is the queen of dramatics and no one can change my mind

*god, i wish more people wrote them as a family instead of fighting with each other over some measly, easily replaceable human. like, i believe it's Cass that makes it very clear Reader means nothing when it comes to her family, and i love that for her

*y'all don't even KNOW the HATRED i have for people who write them as SAers. like, you can be a murderer and NOT be a sexual predator! i know Alcina raised them right and taught them what it means when someone says no (cue her exasperatedly explaining the difference between torture no and spicy time no)

anyways, i'm very happy to know you're enjoying it so far, and i look forward to what else you'll notice on your journey >:) <333

#asks #sa mention #tw sa mention #cw sa mention #just to be safe!#i'll add different tags if someone needs me to :D #or more tags that is #i would like to say that i'm slowly chipping away at replies/asks while i procrastinate and play solitaire #as if im some grandparent that just learned what a computer is #PFFT

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