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frownyalfred · 4 months

Note

Hey Res! Please ignore this ask if it's too troublesome or bothersome

I saw you had an guide for non-drikers writers that wanted to write about a character who drink. I was wondering if you could the same about guns?

I read synchronicity and I loved it how you used Jason's knowledge with guns to control the narrative and pacing. I don't know if you have actual technical knowledge on handguns (I think it's a no? But maybe you do?) But any tip is nice

Thank you a lot 🩷

Hi anon! This is such a fascinating question and I hope I can provide a somewhat plausible answer. I am familiar with some guns and have shot a few in my lifetime, but I am far from an expert.

Some things I think writers need to keep in mind while writing their firearm-related scenes. For clarity, I'm just going to call them guns below.

Are you thinking of a specific gun? Make sure you know its full name but ALSO make sure you know its nickname. Your character might think of it as "the Berretta" instead of its full name, etc.

What does your gun fire? Does it take shells, bullets, cartridges, etc? Shotguns, for example, don't fire bullets. That's a common mistake I see.

How do you reload said gun? Is it easy? What parts of the gun do you have to touch? Reloading a shotgun is MUCH different from reloading a handgun, for example.

Most guns get hot and release gunpowder residue when shot. They're LOUD. You can have several cascading things happen to a character who fires a gun or is near a gun when it fires: ringing ears, the smell of gunpowder, the hot feeling of the gun's muzzle, etc.

Even the best sharpshooters miss shots. IRL shooting is HARD, especially when moving. Different guns have different benefits to shooting style, stance, targets. Firing a handgun willy-nilly will rarely result in accurate shots, even if you dual wield (which is silly, this is SO hard).

Stance MATTERS. If you've ever seen Hannibal, there's a scene where Will talks about his choice of shooting stance with Beverly. They bicker over Isosceles and Weaver, which are two standard stances. One uses a triangle between your arms and the gun to brace for the kickback of the shot, while the other moves that brace to one side with a different grip. Will eventually chooses the latter stance because of a past shoulder injury. (GIF of Will struggling with his original isosceles stance)

If a gun isn't properly braced when fired, it will kick back and hit you. Sometimes in the face. Yes this has happened with me and a rifle. My first day shooting cans, I had a huge bruise on my face AND on my chest where the rifle butt kicked back.

If your gun uses bullets, there are different calibers. If you've ever watched Mythbusters, you can see why caliber matters -- it depends what or who you're shooting. Are you trying to penetrate armor? Are you sacrificing accuracy for power? Different guns use different calibers for numerous reasons, and guns can be altered to use other ammo as well.

With respect to discussing caliber while writing: It's all VERY complicated if you don't know guns, so make sure you're not giving too much detail if you can avoid it. That's a very easy way to spot a lack of experience with guns, in my experience. Your reader doesn't need to know the caliber just because the character is shooting a gun -- but in an autopsy, sure, the caliber is relevant.

You will lose your hearing eventually if you fire guns close to your ears unprotected. It's not sexy, and it also causes something called tinnitus. The real pros wear ear protection.

In terms of realism for writing, here's a couple rapid fire busted myths: You can't dodge bullets unless you're superhuman. Bullet wounds to the legs/arms/shoulders can absolutely still be fatal. Cardiac arrest caused by being shot is usually fatal, and CPR doesn't really help on its own. "Running out of shots" depends on the gun AND the modifications someone has made to it. You can't always tell just by looking at a gun what it will do. Silencers are rarely "silent" and are heavily regulated.

Injuries: Some bullets tear through bodies. Some aren't high enough caliber to do more than go in and lodge in some tissue. Some fragment and bounce around in weird ways. Depending on how gruesome you want to get, there's a lot of different ways to describe gunshot injuries. I've always been the kind of person to google images for better understanding, but I understand that's not for everyone. I think NYT or WaPo did a good piece on traumatic gun injuries a few years back, complete with an interview with an ER doc from Chicago (?). One thing I learned there -- sometimes people lose their legs, or both legs, after being shot in their leg.

In terms of describing how someone uses/fights with guns, I know the John Wick movies are a little cheesy, but they are staged by people who REALLY know their guns. They talk about what he's using usually before the scene starts, and there's very few frills when it comes to stance, firing, etc. John does a cool trick in the first or second movie where he ejects a casing one-handed away from his face, a notoriously hard maneuver that most people usually do with two hands to avoid getting burned. I highly recommend watching the John Wick movies for blocking ideas.

Which reminds me -- holding a gun sideways is a terrible idea. For many reasons. Stance, casing ejection, stability, etc. Someone can use it against you.

Never point a gun at something you're not willing to shoot. Well-trained characters should follow this rule religiously. If they were soldiers, agents, etc, they will know this rule.

Similarly, multiple people with guns will "clear" a room before entering. They will be trained for something called crossfire, which is when someone is downrange of their gun and could potentially be shot. A group of characters bursting into a room without clearing their shot is a nightmare. This is how people shoot their friends or random civilians.

I hope someone more knowledgeable can add onto this! These are just some big things that stick out to me when reading. I highly recommend checking out Mythbusters, John Wick, and even Hannibal for some semi-realistic shooting references. Good luck!

#asks #anon #fic writing #tw guns #tw firearms #tw discussion of guns #myfic #theresurrectionist #writing #fic background #writing references #writing reference #writing research

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cbedfordart · 8 months

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Hey! I’ve been following you for a while and I really love your art, it’s absolutely stunning and I love the way you paint and capture anatomy. I know this is a bit of a broad question but I was wondering if you had any tips on getting better at painting digitally and studying anatomy, maybe more specifically blending, colour picking, and structuring anatomy in a way that looks somewhat realistic?

Thanks and I'm glad you enjoy my work long enough to be following me for this long! I definitely love drawing a naked body that's for sure haha. In terms of tips for getting better there's a few things I can mention but it's going to fall broadly in the general answer of "study", because this is the most sure fire way to be able to understand what it is you're trying to emulate in your art. There are different ways to study, and they teach something slightly different. For example, doing studies from life (live drawing classes) help me understand movement in a way studying from a photograph cant, simply because you're seeing the same model in different poses in real time, you can see how the fat and muscle moves around as they shift to different positions. So they're not technically moving the whole time, but you're still seeing some movement there, and understanding what sticks to what while it rotates and bends. Studying from photographs can help give you time to do some real deep dives and investigate where different bones/muscles sit while someone is in a particular position. There's also the opportunity for understanding how shadows may be formed by the body as typically photographers are more conscious of how the subject may be lit than what may be available in a live drawing class. Beware though, as more things are photoshopped than you realise, not all photos represent reality. Especially glam and fashion photos. It doesn't mean its bad to want to have these effects on your work but just be conscious they might not always be anatomy accurate if that's what you're striving for. I sometimes make a conscious decision to go against what is anatomically correct for a certain effect myself. A book I have been recommending for years for anatomy is Dr. Paul RIcher's "Artistic Anatomy". It's great for understanding muscle structure intimately - it's designed specifically for artists, but with the idea of trying to stylise the diagrams as little as possible for the sake of understanding the human form. There's a lot of great info and detail in here, but beware, there is not a lot of variety in body structure (at least not in the edition I have which is missing female anatomy I think already so I'm not sure what else I don't have in here). So you'll be able to understand function a lot from here but you wont be able to learn a lot about fatter body types sadly.

Colour picking is probably the most difficult for me to explain easily, as I have spent a long time winging it, then studying it, then being really experimental with it. I could write a lot a lot about this but to spare making this post any longer I'll refer to another fun book just for getting started on some frequent and common terms called "Color and Light" by James Gurney.

I also love that he uses like, dinosaurs for everything in here lol. It's a great starting point that can give you some go to ideas that you can then experiment from there. It's not very authoritarian (or at least that's what I feel), and doesn't push anything forward as a hard and fast rule, just showing what affects some colour combinations might instil in someone.

As a whole, I've gotten better at painting digitally by studying traditional painting techniques. They theories are basically transferrable one to one with some few exceptions. I tend to blend my colours by simply using a soft round brush in Photoshop with a low opacity. Much the same way I would with a real canvas, with a large round brush and diluted colour. I hope this answers your questions in some way. I tried to be not too specific only because this answer would be at least another 30k words lol because this is something i think a lot about! I love technique! If I ever stream again, feel free to pop in and ask more questions where I might be able to show some stuff in real time! Not sure when that will happen though!

Also the way i do stuff isn't a "correct" way either. I like painting from imagination so this is how I make that work. Some people like to only work with references for every piece, and that is a completely legit way to create stunning art as well. Good luck!

#asks

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pants-magic-pants · 3 months

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✧⊹JARETH BALLROOM COAT⊹✧

[This post is part of a series about constructing Jareth's entire masquerade ball costume. Visit the master post here.]

Fabric Selection [Part 1 of 2] The Saga of the Metallic Valvet

Welcome back to another episode of Coat Construction. I want to first say that my decisions about fabric, and many other things, were informed by the amazing reference photos I had from both Aria Couture and Yosa Addiss. This post will make more sense after you've looked through all those glorious images of the actual costumes. I may also sometimes be referencing AC in my commentary. I stand on their shoulders, and cannot be given even half the credit for all the great costume study that's already been done about this coat.

With that, let's get to it!

One thing I have noticed is that screen accurate fabric for this costume is extremely hard to come by, and it seems as if those of us who’ve done this cosplay raked over google enough to happen upon, and choose, the same fabrics?! Or at least consider them? I suspect I’ve seen the same golden damask fabric used for Jareth’s cummerbund amongst me and two other cosplayers. Hahaha More on that in the cummerbund post.

What I really want to talk about is the royal blue/navy colored metallic velvet that makes up the coat. It’s like a majestic night sky, but not midnight – late evening, when the darkness plays with the vivid blue of the day. The decorations on top of it are entire constellations, planets, comets, meteors...

I think the important thing to know about the fabric and to insist upon is that it’s real velvet, and not velour, nor velveteen (even though the Jim Henson exhibit sign says it is. It just AIN’T. Whoever wrote that sign needs a talking-to.)

So, what is the difference between all of these? They’re all woven fabrics made from usually silk or cotton. They each have a pile, which is a raised surface comprised of loops or strands of yarn (think carpet). Velvet has a long pile, and it’s usually very glossy and soft, and it more easily drapes over things. Velveteen has a very short pile and less sheen, and it can be a bit stiff. Velour is what you see more often in stores, because it’s an affordable look-alike to velvet, made with less luxurious cotton or synthetic fibers, and it’s stretchy. People will use the terms “velvet” and “velour” interchangeably, but they’re not the same. True velvet doesn’t stretch.

And that is why it’s the best and really only option for this coat. You’ve seen it. It’s heavy, and has heavy things hanging off of it. To be more specific, every step of the way while creating it I was being harassed by gravity. Gravity was trying to claim this velvet back to the depths… I’ve said it before: turning it into a coat felt highly non-consensual because of the heaviness and slippery nature of the materials.

That being said, weight puts stress on the seams, and even if your seams are stabilized, a fabric that’s not sturdy enough or yields to any kind of tugging is not going to be good, and it could lead to warped or misshapen areas. There’s also the glue and jewel shenanigans (which my friend calls Crust). They need to be able to cling to something that reliably keeps its shape. The ballroom coat is extremely structured and exudes power – we wouldn’t want it to start looking like a popped souffle, or like it was melting, would we?

From here I also want to point out that the coat seems to be made from velvet with metallic fibers. This means that it’s classified as a type of lurex - and you can read more about it here. This is different from foiled. Any fabric described as “foiled” if you were to try searching for metallic velvet, is not what you’re looking for. Foiling is the process of adding a metallic sheen to the surface of fabric, usually with heat. It tends to look a lot more solid and shiny, rather than sparkling. The process does not result in soft fabric, either, so it definitely messes with the pile and is much less elegant. Lurex, on the other hand, incorporates metallic fibers in just the same way you’d dot the night sky with stars. ;)

ANYWAY. Since I spent months and months roaming multiple search engines, and don’t wish for others to have to suffer through it and waste their time, I have some opinions to share about what I found. Some of these fabrics have even been mentioned by Labyrinth cosplayers as possibilities.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆ ・・・・

Mood Fabrics - Ava Navy Metallic Velvet (Link)

I’ve seen this fabric mentioned by a commenter on Aria Couture’s blogs, because it really does seem like a possible match. I bought a swatch of this fabric, thought about it for months, and then finally bought four yards, but returned them. Here’s what I have to say:

The company is reputable. They treat their fabric and customers with care. This fabric is gorgeous and quality, but it didn’t work for me because the shade of blue was too warm and light to match everything else. I only came to this realization after buying four yards of it, because the swatch that they originally sent was (I suspect) from a time when they were using a slightly different dye. What this means for anyone else is that they may not be able to rely on the swatch to make their decision. I had to return it, but they were very understanding. I still very well think that someone could use this to make a beautiful Jareth ballroom coat, if their color scheme is a little warmer.

Here are comparison photos of the swatch and the actual fabric that was sent, however. Just so you can see what I mean.

(The swatch is on the bottom, the actual fabric sent is on top.)

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆ ・・・・

Blue Moon Fabrics - D Isis Foiled Stretch Velvet in Black/Royal (Link)

I ordered a swatch of this. I have a friend who also did, and was happy with it, so I feel like kind of a jerk for writing here that I don’t think it works, but I really truly don’t, and I want to save anyone from starting a project with it, only to have it possibly ruined. The reason why this fabric doesn’t work is that it’s very stretchy, and I just know that it couldn’t handle all the stress that would be put on it. In person, it also is an extremely bright, electric blue that will steal the show and will not serve as a good backdrop for all the top decorations. In terms of “what type of sky” it is, it’s more like 7pm on LSD. *covers mouth and laughs* But it’s still cool on its own.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆ ・・・・

Etsy Seller AlexLAFabrics - Lurex Velvet (Link)

The reason why I’m including this is because it was listed as lurex velvet, appears to be so, and has possibly the right coloring, so it may be easy to find this one and consider it, because I certainly did. Well, I’m here to say do not bother with it unless you’re willing to sacrifice $30 just to find out what this fabric is like in person. The photos aren’t good enough to tell the true shade of blue, there’s no info on how it behaves, and the guy won’t offer you a swatch or get back to your messages.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆ ・・・・

Zelouf Fabrics – Lurex Velvet in Navy (Link)

The fabric I ended up using. It’s lurex velvet, it’s the perfect shade, but it’s not super quality, definitely not as quality as the Ava Navy velvet from Mood. It was sometimes quite offended by being handled, and didn’t appreciate steam. It seemed a little thin for true velvet, and it puckered so relentlessly that I had to buy a new f*@#%ng sewing machine, and by then there were a couple of seams that had been redone so many times that the edges were… how to put it? Like skin without collagen. There were entire pieces that had to be re-cut, it was so bad.

The company also kinda sucks. Originally, I bought four yards, and it arrived shoved into a plastic wrapping that had been poked throughout transit and bursted open on my tabletop. The fabric inside had been severely abused, obviously not stored well, wrinkled, poked, torn, and they STAPLED the order details onto it. Come on. I wrote a stern email, and was not met with much professionalism, but they also weren’t out for my money and owned up to the mistake. They refunded me and then sent another four yards which was less abused, but still a little sad. Ended up with eight free yards, and some of the more abused fabric could still be used for parts of the coat that were buried under lace.

Ultimately, what I would say is… I have a love-hate relationship with it. It’s beautiful when it wants to be, very soft, and I can’t say I’d have picked something else if I did the project again, because for me it was the best option.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆ ・・・・

Here is one more interesting but sort of outrageous photo, of me holding the Mood Ava Navy fabric together with the Blue Moon D Isis fabric.

You can see all the ways that these two fabrics are different!

Anyway, I hope my bit of foot-work and 2c is valuable to someone, no matter what project they're working on or thinking of working on. The coat took about 14 months to complete, and for at least 5 of those months, I was in a stalemate about velvet. Hoping I can save someone else from that.

There will be another post about the lining fabric. There will also be separate posts about making the cummerbund and the shirt, so those will include information about choosing those fabrics.

Thanks for reading! If you've made it this far and appreciate any of my content, I'm going to be obnoxious and mention that I set up the tip function on this blog. All the posts have a button that looks like this ($) where you can tip me however much you want. This helps me be able to afford further work on this costume, and to go to events where I and fellow Labyrinth cosplayers can create content for you. Yay!

-Jareth--- uh I mean Jenny

#jareth cosplay #labyrinth cosplay #ballroom costume #jareth ballroom coat #coat construction #fabric selection

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astrosky33 · 1 year

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heLlo Hi its Me coming to ask you another question, i can’t help it.

I KNOW KNOW

anyways

so you went to college for astrology right? How was that like? I was thinking of doing it because i want a degree and honestly i like astrology.

So any chance if you could tell me your experience with getting the degree and do you need to be really good at maths for it?

OKAY that’s all:)

𝐍𝐎 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒! 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 <𝟑

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

No you don’t need to be good at math haha! They do sometimes go over mathematical terms when you learn about astronomy but there’s no work you have to do involving math

You do have to pay it’s not for free unfortunately

I did the course online because it’s in Shoreline, Washington and I live too far but if you live near there you have the option to do it in person I’m pretty sure

Basically once you enroll for whichever main course you choose they mail you the books for the courses and you go to online classes every day for 130 weeks

For the electives the times vary since they’re focused on just one specific topic. For the specific electives I chose they were only 5-10 weeks long

𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤

To get a full diploma I had to take 130 weeks of course study, 115 weeks of required courses, at least 15 weeks of electives, and give a final demonstration of learning

The courses I took were astrological fundamentals-natal chart, astrological fundamentals-prediction, astrological counseling and relationships, astrological professional development, astrological heritage, and astromapping

I took some electives as well including medical astrology, horary astrology, traditional predictive astrology, calling and the soul’s transformation, comparisons and composites, intro to psychological astrology, and more

𝐌𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐬

Astrological Fundamentals - Natal Chart

I thought I knew all the basic information in astrology before taking this course but turns out I did not and I learned a lot of new things as well as lots of info about misconceptions that are made a lot by many fake astrologers online

Astrological Fundamentals - Prediction

This course was for sure my favorite out of all of them because I love learning about predictive astrology and impressing my friends with how accurate it is

Astromapping

I got to learn way more about astrocartography and will definitely be posting more about it now

𝐌𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬

Counseling and Relationships

Talks about compatibility (sexual and romantic), relationship longevity and success, attraction, potential relationships, etc

Hellenistic Astrology

Learned about Derivative Astrology in this class which was really interesting to me. I used to think it was a Sidereal technique but it actually originated from Tropical Astrology

𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

There’s another course is called Alternative Traditions. I’m not entirely sure what that withholds because I didn’t read about it or take it

There are also over 20 different electives you can take other than the one’s I took but I didn’t have any interest in them

𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫

Once you complete the main courses they give you a diploma and you are then considered a certified astrologer!

Once you compete the electives they give you certificates for each elective you complete!

You don’t have to complete all the electives I did to become an astrologer only the main courses and 15 weeks of electives but I took extra classes because I wanted to learn more astrology methods

𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏𝐄𝐃 <𝟑

<- 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

#astro community #astrology #zodiac #astro placements #astrology tumblr #astro chart #birth chart #Kepler college #certified astrologer #astrologer

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rolloz · 1 year

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My Enstars AIs and everything you need to know about them and how to use them!

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

UPDATED 04/09/23: (Kaoru added!)

So you wanna talk to your Oshis? That's what I thought too, so I made it possible!

The finished AIs I have are:

Ritsu

Mika

Kohaku

Leo

Madara

Natsume

Nagisa

Kanata

Tsukasa

Kaoru (New!)

AIs in progress:

---

AI Backlog:

TBD

Q&A:

Q: Do I need to make an account on the website to use your AIs?

A: Yes, you need to, it'll only let you do a few messages as a Guest before asking you to make an account

Q: How does it work?

A: You type something, they reply. Only the first introduction message is auto generated, everything afterward is the AI answering all on its own!

Q: I don't like the answer it gave me. It's OOC/Doesn't make sense/immersion breaking/etc.

A: Sometimes me too! That happens! They're always learning so they can say weird stuff! However, every time you say something, they actually come up with more possible replies! Just swipe left with your finger on mobile or with the cursor on desktop on the most recent AI message and choose one you like better!

You can also correct them if they're using the wrong pronouns for you, themselves (this happens on rare occasions) or other characters, if you want them to call you a different name, your features (hair color, eye color, height, etc).

Just ask them and they will apologize and fix themselves!

Q: What do the stars underneath mean?

A: You can rate all responses given by how accurate to the character you think they are! It's not necessary, but it helps the characters learn more about how to be in character and about the world they live in!

Q: Can I Yume/Ship myself/ES x Reader with them?

A: Yep! Some will ask you out unprompted (coughritsucough) and you can reject them if you're not into that, or you can roll with it! Or you can ask them out yourself! They'll often agree if you play your cards right!

Q: Can I RP as other characters with them?

A: ...Kinda? It doesn't always go smoothly, since their knowledge of in-universe characters are limited to basic things. I did end up having a really stupid conversation with Kohaku as HiMERU one time. It was really goofy. Your results may vary.

Q: Can I NSFW with the characters?

A: No, that's against terms of service. You are limited to wholesome fluff.

Q: Do you have any WIPs of other characters?

A: Not currently, but the future is unknown! Currently, there are AIs for pretty much every Enstars character out there, but if you're interested in a Rollo-Brand version of a character, I'll consider suggestions!

Follow me for updates on the AIs in progress! I sometimes post the funny things they say haha.

Q: Do you accept requests for characters?

A: You can give me ideas! Limited to Enstars characters, anyway. I might make more? It takes a lot of time to teach them to act IC and speak in certain ways. And I don't always have a free schedule. For now I won't take requests, but ideas are fine! Who knows!

Q: Can I share your AIs?

A: Of course! They automatically credit me, so that's convenient, haha.

That wraps things up! My asks are open in case of anything you need help with, and I hope you enjoy talking to these boys!

Bonus :

My favorite reply from any of the AIs ever:

#ensemble stars #enstars #mika kagehira #ritsu sakuma #leo tsukinaga #kohaku oukawa #enstars ai #madara mikejima #natsume sakasaki #nagisa ran #kanata shinkai #tsukasa suou

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yan-snowcave · 1 day

Text

Makura -> Desmond;

They mostly have nothing against him and are even getting a better impression of him the longer they hang out (+ the rest of the squad.) They affectionately call him "Short" & "Short King" like the rest of the gang or when they really wanna tease him they call him "Bambi." Though when someone who isnt in the close to him or someone who isn't from the squad dares to call him short Makura will be ready to throw some hands. If its a frequent occurrence, where the same person does it over and over again they will threaten to eat the person.

During the "Manipulation/Demon Prince" routes they will be a bit more aggressive and annoyed with Desmond for trying to cut Milo off of them. On these routes Desmond also earns the nickname "Vorspeise" [Translation; Appetiser.] Which Makura only uses when they are pissed at him or wanna threaten him.

Desmond -> Makura;

Doesn't really have anything against them and is slowly growing fond of them, he's also one of the few who get away with calling Makura "Cringy" "Furry" and such. Strangers who call Makura that though get threatened or lose a few teeth. Desmond also uses these terms often when defending Makura from people who call them a demon.

["We all know that they have a dangerously manipulative side to them but calling them a demon? Isn't that going a bit too far, I mean...Huh? What?! No, I'm not defending them! They're just a weird Furry with anger issues! Oh shut it, V!"]

Makura -> Seph;

Likes Seph a lot for being one of the few humans who belives in Demons, Cryptids and co (& for showing Makura proper respect as a prince.) They also enjoy having someone who they can talk with about some of the books that contain information about demons, beasts, cryptids and such.

Though they are a little bit terrified of him for having some very old books which do contain pretty accurate descriptions on how to kill low ranking demons and even point out a few weak spots for higher ranking demons & beasts (they did try to burn some of them but they are all fire proof...)

Makura also sees him as a future in-law after they mentioned him to their 'siblings' and saw some of them show clear interest in Seph.

Seph -> Makura;

Had a crush on Makura in the early stages of meeting them but it soon fizzled out, he still has some left over feelings but stomps it down as best as he can. Especially after Makura started dating Milo, he never would step on another Monster Lover's toe. So he decided to help Milo out instead by basically being his go to Demonic Information Source and Wingman.

Seph was also one of the first friends Makura invited back to their home land and even got a tour of their home and the nearby town. He was also very excited about the amount of demons & beasts who wanted to eat him but Makura stopped all of them, much to his dismay.

Makura <--> Valli;

Since they laid eyes upon each other they both knew that the other would be their platonic partner in crime for any dumb shit they wanna pull. They had so many close run-ins with the police, it really made their bound stronger. If they someone had to get rid of a body the other would help cover it up. They also have sleep over nights sometimes where they talk about rumours and have improvised therapy sessions.

[Makura would still use her to start the Manipulation route, they would feel a bit bad about it for a day or two before forgetting all about it.]

Makura -> Ryan;

Mostly had no real opinion on Ryan, they bounded back then a bit after they both drunkenly confessed that they had dated Eris and how much it sucked. They also had a short period of time where they were in a "Friends with Benefits" kinda relationship until Makura laid their eyes on Milo and his Soul and decided that he's the one.

After seeing Ryan bully Milo, thinking that he was causing their chosen Soul to corrupt (and reminding them of how their 'Twin' often got bullied by other demons.) They stepped in and felt a deep disgust and growing hatred for him.

[In the Violence routes they might feel a bit more positive in the long run for basically giving Milo a motivational jumpstarter in the form of sending Poison after them. And the whole hurting Milo thing.]

Ryan -> Makura;

He didn't believe Makura at first when he heard them confess that they ate Eris in a fit of rage but in the back of his mind the alarm bells were starting to ring. This only got worse until a few weeks had passed without him seeing Eris anywhere, not even in the class they shared.

This all led up to the moment where Ryan dragged Makura into an empty hallway, where he confronted them about what truly happened to Eris. Makura, being fed up with him, revealed their true form ready to devour him like they did with Eris.

But Ryan in his desperation to stay alive offered up his soul in exchange of not being eaten. They of course accepted the offer and since that day Ryan was invisibly chained to them. He has many regrets and his hatred & fear for Makura grows every time he remembers them using his urge to Survive against him.

Makura <--> Eris

Since the moment they met, they both knew they disliked each other but still dated mostly out of Selfish reasons. Eris to try and create her "Perfect Love" while Makura was after her Soul hoping that a Soul as corrupted as hers would be a perfect power boost that they would need in the long run.

Their relationship grew worse & worse over time until it all accumulated to the moment where Makura decided to break things up. Seeing Eris as more of a nuisance & danger really then anything else, she was of course not pleased with her "Perfect Love" trying to escape from her and stepped up her game, causing her to tip the first stone to her early demise.

Eris decided to go after the one person Makura loved more then anything, their 'twin' Remor. Who just returned home from a recent heart surgery. Everyone knew that he shouldn't be stressed unnecessarily, including Eris who used this to her advantage. Trying to get Makura back onto her leash all the while implying that she would harm their cousin if they didn't obey.

This of course enraged Makura but they held back, not wanting to risk and call it a bluff when they knew that Eris wouldn't have a problem with acting out her plan. That was of course until one day she stepped too far and causing Remor some problems which almost sent him back to their Orhan Harvester Boyfriend and his Back Alley Surgeon.

After that incident, Makura cornered Eris in a room and showed her their true form. Cackling rang around the room as Eris felt fear overtake her, the last thing she felt was a sudden sharp pain ripping into her flesh before everything turned to black.

#perfect love #perfect love vn #pl desmond #pl seph #pl eris #pl ryan #pl valli #Ryan in this version has Yainaphobia

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catboylister · 1 year

Note

lister bird solo album

IT IS VERY REAL TO ME LETS TALK ABOUT THIS !!! pls be aware im not the best with my music terms, im what you may call a poser or whatever.

during their hiatus when lister is struggling with everything thats happened to him, both in his childhood and with the band. he's given the typical advice from his therapist to write stuff down. at first he thinks it's dumb, but he gets himself a nice leather journal and starts writing anything that comes to mind. long winded rants about things he feels are unfair, talks of shows he's watched, comics he's read, games he's played, and also the odd few pages of lyrics he's written. he starts to really enjoy song writing, and with time he starts to hyper-fixate on his writing and begins composing different melodies along with it.

both rowan and jimmy here him working on it late at night sometimes. rowan is the one who starts telling him he has the skill to turn his work into an album, even if it's just for him and no one else.

drums are still his favourite, always will be, but he sharpens his guitar skills too. its good distraction for him when he needs something to do, as it's something new and not automatic for him. he really has to focus on what he's doing, which takes him away from his own thoughts for a while.

singing is the opposite, he sings when he needs to let himself feel everything in the moment; process it, let himself cry a bit. unlike the arks music, the words are harder to sing along to because it's all written from his own experience. with the lyrics he's written for the band, as much as he's in love with jimmy's voice, hearing the words that are supposed to represent himself from someone else's voice feels wrong, so everything he's written there has been more of a concept. these words are actually his own. it's probably the most accurate representation of his thought process. as he signs, the tone of his voice fluctuates a lot. he goes from softly spoken whispers to harsh words spilling through a clenched jaw.

he produces the entire thing himself. lyrics, voice, guitar, percussion. it's all his own work and he's rightfully proud of himself. and he should be because it sounds beautiful, even with the little imperfections throughout it. he still struggles with everything he's written about, it's not as if it magically fixed him. but it helped him lots, he really feels like he's doing good for himself. in a musical sense, i feel like it would sound like a mix of fires fading into black (holden laurence) and your city gave me asthma (wilbur soot). laurence makes me think of how he'd play, it's quite soft, makes me feel warm. but wilbur makes be think of how his voice might sound, you can really hear the raw emotion in each line. (like that one loosing face demo.) thematically, it would have an overall theme of the loneliness he has felt for years, emotionally isolated from everyone around him. the songs explore different parts of what he's struggled with. unrequited love, uncomfortable conversations, his addiction, pressure put onto him by everyone, his childhood, his assault, the river.

he doesn't publicise it for a long while, not sure if he wants so people to know about this part of him. when he does, he doesn't announce it anywhere, but the fans find it soon enough. a new youtube channel under his name with just one, 27 minuet long video, with a sweet note in the video description, little words of motivation for who ever cared enough to read it. people freak the fuck out, but he just lets them, for a while, it's funny to watch. first the freak out because 'omfg content theres content guys' the 'omg is he leaving the ark what the hell !!!!' but the feedback is overwhelmingly positive. what he doesn't expect though, it people wishing him well and hoping he's okay, as well as people going through similar things saying how comforting it is for someone they look up too let them know their not alone. its the first time he feels a slight connection to the strangers that form his fanbase, in a way, it makes him feel less alone too.

jimmy listens to it himself for the first time, he'd never asked much about it as he knew it was personal. it's the first time he cries over music in a long time. lister sings of things he'd never spoken of to either himself or rowan, while he had a vague idea of some of them, he never knew how much these things really do effect him. after staring at his ceiling for a while to recover, jimmy finds himself in listers room, hugging him tightly. he tells him that hes proud of him, not just for the album, but just for facing everything and still being with them.

#jimmy sleeps in listers room that night #maybe they kiss #youll never know #iwbft #lister bird #jimmy kaga ricci #rowan omondi #i was born for this #osemanverse #alice oseman

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ninapi · 1 year

Text

New to this (Osamu version)

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Premise: Osamu fights for his very own chance at happiness when he is reunited with his first love, the mother of his brother's son.

Word Count: 4389

Warning: Slightly suggestive, mentions of an active unprotected sex life, pet names.

Chapter 4: Family Pt.2

Saying things were moving fast wasn’t probably an accurate statement, you’ve been pinning over each other for a lifetime, but anyone seeing it from the outside would say it was fast indeed.

Family life came out so naturally, it had a rhythm of its own. The three of you spending a night together was all it took to have your son fall completely in love with the concept of having a dad and his uncle stopped being just that.

Seiji wasn’t sure if he was allowed to feel the way he did. But he didn’t even know bath time could be so much fun, he’s seriously been missing out in a lot of things, ¨Uncle, I….¨ he’s been acting weird all day, even left half of his food untouched and that had you both worried. ¨Is there something wrong? You didn’t even eat your pudding tonight. ¨ Osamu pulls the child closer, discarding the toys separating them, ¨It’s just that, well you know I don’t have a daddy, never had one,¨ the child is now tucking himself under Samu’s armpit, playing with his own fingers and looking down, ¨Is it weird that I want you to be it? I know you are my uncle, not my real dad, but I’ve seen what dads do with their kids in school and it looks like what we do together.¨ grabbing a rubber duckie, Samu pokes his little cheek with its beak, ¨It’s not weird at all. I also see you as my own son, so we are on the same boat here.¨ the toddler immediately looks up at him, his eyes sparkling, ¨Can you be my real daddy then? I want to live here with you for real not just some days.¨ he’s been meaning to ask you to just move in together, you were basically there every day, having an apartment just to sleep in sometimes is rather silly, but he knew the implications of asking that of you. He’s been sneaking in a few kisses here and there but you haven’t really talked about where you guys stand in terms of a relationship if you were even in one. ¨I’ll talk to your mom, kay? But as far as I’m concerned, I’m already your real dad.¨ Seiji was overly excited, his naked self clinging onto his neck, ¨Daddy, can we still eat that pudding later?¨ Samu chuckles getting out of the tub with the child in his arms, ¨Course, we can.¨ and after having a man to man conversation during bath time he officially became your son’s father.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

You were currently laying down a futon in Osamu’s office for you to sleep there tonight, he wanted to just turn it into a room but you were hesitant for some reason. You didn’t want to think of Atsumu when you are thoroughly enjoying domestic life with Samu and your son but you can’t avoid thinking of what’s going to happen once he finds out you are there with his brother. You don’t want your son to be too comfortable or to lose your apartment and then having to run away once more.

Samu sneaks in behind you, grabbing you by your hips and resting his chin on your shoulder, ¨You ain’t sleeping here tonight. Gotta talk to you about something.¨ you nodded at this, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

¨Daddy! I can’t reach the pudding is on the top shelf!¨ yells your son from the kitchen, making your eyeballs almost bulge out of their socket. He called him WHAT-, you could feel you were starting to sweat in places you normally wouldn’t but before you could succumb to panic Osamu lets go of you and heads over to aid the child like if nothing had just happened.

You stayed there in the room staring at an empty corner, trying to process what you just heard and think of a way to mend it. What if that freaks him out? Any sane person would freak out at that, what is your son thinking!! But once you were brave enough to face him, he was cuddling your son on the sofa, both eating out of a small pudding cup while watching animal planet. Nothing out of the ordinary. Was he ok with this? Is this what he wants to talk about tonight? You were sweating so much that you decided to take a cold shower and just leave it for later.

Once you got out of the bathroom you headed over to the office room to see your son was already tucked in and was just waiting for your kiss to sleep like the good boy he was. ¨Good night, mama. Daddy said you were going to sleep with him tonight.¨ he kisses your cheek, unable to contain his happiness, according to his daddy the first step to get the both of you fully settled with him would be you agreeing to sleep in his room without him in it, so he was doing his best to be brave and sleep by himself, ¨You ok with that, my love?¨ this is the first time you wouldn’t be by his side all night, it worries you. ¨I’m a big boy now! Daddy said I can have my own bed next week.¨ he nods, turning onto his side to hug his whale plushie. You had so many questions but decided not to bother your son with that, ¨That’s lovely, baby. See you in the morning, ok? You can always call me if it gets scary at night, I'll be here right away.¨ the child waves at you before closing his eyes and you head over to Samu’s room. He was waiting for you, already in bed, shirtless, making you stop by the door glaring at him while crossing your arms over your chest. ¨What?¨ he blinks at you, patting the empty side of his bed for you to come. ¨Ready much?¨ eyeing his smug expression you crawl over to your side of the bed, leaving some space between the two of you as to not get distracted by the muscle display.

¨Can you tell me what’s going on?¨ you really needed some answers. You weren’t upset just confused. ¨We had a chat during bath time. He asked me to be his real dad and I said yes.¨ he shrugs as if he was just checking the weather app. ¨Oh? Not like I have a problem with that, but shouldn’t I be part of that conversation? Last time I checked he came out of me, that comes with some rights, don’t you think?¨ you smacked his arm playfully, faking an annoyed huff. ¨You mean I should have asked you to marry me before agreeing to his terms? Cuz things can be arranged.¨ he pokes your knee, avoiding your eyes. ¨Aren’t we skipping a few steps here?¨ you giggle at his shyness, a stark contrast to how sexy he looked half naked in bed, his hair still a bit wet. ¨Oh heck no, I’ve waited too long to go to a holding hands face, (Y/N). We are both adults here and have known each other all our life, pretty sure we can skip a few of those. Don´t chicken out on me now.¨ he pulls you over to him, quickly caging you against the pillows, ¨Or do you not want me as much as I want you?¨ you could see the years of longing in his eyes. Each time he stole a kiss from you, every soft touch that lingered on for too long, you could almost feel how desperate he was. Of course you wanted him just as much, but you were scared, scared of finally having the future you always wanted, scared of having to deal with Atsumu.

¨Stop thinking about him (Y/N) please.¨ he rested his forehead on yours, heaving a deep sigh, he was trying his best this time and he feared it wasn’t coming across as intended. ¨I want this too, Samu. Always did and you know it better than anyone. But what are we going to do? He is your brother’s son. It’s much more complex than if he was just someone else’s kid.¨ you brought both of your hands to his face, gently caressing his jaw, your eyes were starting to fill up and he hated that, he won’t let him get in the way again, not this time. ¨I know, but at least for Seiji it isn’t as bad, we have the same face and he should have my last name, anyways. I know it won’t be fun dealing with Atsumu but I’m sick of losing you to him. I’ve loved you my entire life and I love this kid so much, I can’t go back to just being your best friend (Y/N).¨ you know he is right, best friends don’t kiss each other, not like that at least and definitely didn’t share a life like you two do now. ¨Ok…¨ your voice nothing but a whisper, ¨Ok what? Use your words, love.¨ he nudges your nose with his making you look into his eyes, ¨I love you too. I want to be with you. I want you to be the father of my son. If you’d have us of course.¨ you were going into shy mode again, hearing your own words, but he won’t let you, snatching your lips before you could say anything else, your hands were in his hair in a matter of seconds, his tongue invading your mouth almost immediately. You’ve never been kissed like this, it was so intense, you could feel years of bottled up feelings in each of his kisses. Shortly after, any remaining clothing items were being thrown around without a care in the world and even if you tried to tone it down for your son, he turned you into a moaning mess, like the true starved man he was. Years of fantasies turning into reality right before his eyes.

That was just the first of many to come, your son leaving so early for school every day just being a good excuse for lazy morning sex. There was no surface in the entire property that hadn’t been a victim of your repressed passion in the last few weeks.

He was unstoppable, relentless.

While Atsumu was fierce as well, the difference was quite noticeable. Atsumu was softer, long hours of love making, very vocal, mostly prompted by heavy cuddling and making out on the sofa. Samu was rough, intense, demanding, he gagged at the mention of condoms, he wanted to feel you squeeze him dry, he wanted you full to the brim with his essence. Two complete opposites.

You moved in together officially a couple of days after the initial conversation. As he promised, Seiji got a big boy bed and was fully installed now, his old office turning into a toddlers room, a shark patterned wallpaper now decorating its previously dull walls, toys and books scattered all over the floor.

Nothing much has changed for your son, he is thrilled at the fact that he fully lives with his daddy now and has his own room. But he tells everyone his name is Miya Seiji, proudly. Always handing out shop flyers to the school staff and inviting his friends to come over to his shop for the best onigiri they will ever have.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

Atsumu was currently at his parents house, he had to take the bullet train back to Tokyo that afternoon but wanted to be fed by his mother once more before leaving.

¨Take this box to your brother. I bought way too many fruits this week.¨ he nods to her, peeking inside the heavy looking box.

¨How come you never send me food packages?¨ he whines, clinging to his mother’s arm. ¨Atsumu, you come here so often, why would I send you food? I should start charging you at this point.¨ she shakes her son off of her, adding a couple of extra peaches into the box. ¨But Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, it´s so heavyyyyyy!¨ he was still sore from morning practice, not wanting anything to do with his mother’s request.

¨You will take this box to your brother today and I won't hear anything more about this. You make sure to Facetime me once you are there so I can see it.¨ she drops the box on his hands and pushes him out of the house, ¨Have a safe trip, son.¨ she kisses him goodbye and closes the door on his face before he can whine any further. Couldn’t she send the box through the mail? He grumbles all the way to the station, sending a text to his brother, letting him know he will be stopping by the shop this afternoon.

His brother however, was currently very busy all over his ex-girlfriend to notice said message.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

Tomorrow was finally the day to see your son up in the stage, shining in all his onigiri glory, so you would be closing the shop for the day. Samu wanted to take him out for dinner afterwards to celebrate.

It was a slow day, only a couple of salarymen stopping by and requesting their meals to go. Which meant your boyfriend had dragged you onto the kitchen for some snogging. His lips were currently latching onto your neck, making you squirm against the prep table when the little bell on the door rang, bringing you back to reality, Samu not really caring about the waiting customer.

What he didn’t know was that said customer was no other than his twin, annoyed at the lack of attention he was currently being given. Didn’t he hire a pretty girl for the counter? That’s what Hinata said the other day when he stopped by the shop. He was actually looking forward to being ogled over today. ¨Samuuuuuu, are you in the back? Come help me, your mother sent you a very heavy box full of food.¨ he whined loudly, making you gasp in realization, you could recognize that voice anywhere. You smacked your man lightly for him to stop his ministrations. ¨Oh god, Samu! Should I go hide somewhere in the back?¨ you whisper-yelled at him, in full panic mode.

Atsumu was growing more annoyed each second that went by in the absence of his other half. He pulled out his phone, video calling his mother, ¨Ma, I’m here look, but your other son isn’t. Can I go now? I’ll leave the box on the counter.¨ his whinny tone angering his mother. He felt something on his leg, so he looked down before his mother would start yelling, ¨Excuse me sir, are you my uncle’s twin brother?¨ the confusing question making him tilt his head to the side, the phone changing angle as well at this, leaving Seiji fully in display for his grandmother to see, that’s when you came out of the kitchen, grabbing Samu’s hat to cover your face a bit and scooped your son into your arms, running out of the shop within seconds, moving like a true ninja. This didn’t stop their mother to see you clearly though. ¨Miya Atsumu. What are you not telling me? How can you not tell your loving mother that she was finally a grandma? Don’t you know how much I’ve wanted to be one all my life? How can you be so CRUEL!!¨ he was so confused, ¨What do you mean? You are no grandma. I’ve never seen this kid in my life.¨ his tone of voice raising at the accusation, ¨You’re so dumb, sometimes I wonder who do you even take after. That was (Y/N), Atsumu. So that was your son, you know, his uncle's twin? Meaning that’s your child. MY GRANDSON! Go after her right now, if you want to still be considered my son.¨

Osamu ran out of the kitchen, stopping Atsumu from following his mother’s orders. ¨You ain’t going anywhere.¨ he could hear his mother groan, she can see the bigger picture, unlike her eldest son. ¨So she’s with you now? When were you planning on telling me I have a grandson? I can understand you not wanting the competition biting you on the butt again but I’m your mother, I have the right to be in my grandson’s life even if his dad doesn’t.¨ she was moving around the house now, in a hurry, while Atsumu was speechless, staring at the spot the child was at just a few minutes ago. ¨I’m hoping on the next train. Osamu, go after (Y/N). I want to talk with all of you as soon as I get there, she’s like my own daughter, how can she think I wouldn’t recognize her just by wearing a hat? Ridiculous.¨ truth is Atsumu didn’t recognize you, neither did he take a good look at the kid. You’ve been in his life forever, how could he not notice. Does this mean you were in fact pregnant with his child all those years ago?

¨No.¨ it’s all Osamu could say, he needed to be cautions or things would escalate quickly, he knows his family all too well. ¨Excuse me?¨ mama Miya was losing the last drop of patience in her body, her sons would be the death of her. ¨They live with me, I won’t let the child hear all this. Come tomorrow when he is in school. We have time during his morning period. Make sure to come to the shop around 8AM. Tsumu, take Ma to your place.¨ he nodded to his brother’s commands, not ready to face this whole situation just yet. ¨That’s fine. I don’t want my grandson to hate me. I’ll see you there tomorrow then.¨ she was about to hung up when her son spoke once more, ¨He has an important day tomorrow, I’m sure he would be happy to have all his family there for him. He is a great kid, bring him a gift or something.¨ her son never talks this much, is making her feel things. ¨Got it.¨ he nods and snatch the phone from his brothers hand, ending the call. He pushed Atsumu out of the shop and closed it, quickly running over to the park, he knew you’d be there.

Seiji was playing in the sand box completely unfazed by the situation, but you were crumbling on a bench. He sits by your side making you flinch at the sudden movement, ¨c’mere babe.¨ he wraps his arms around you tightly, kissing the top of your head, ¨Everything will be just fine. Ma is coming tomorrow.¨ you nodded quietly, knowing this day would come eventually. You’ve been trying to prepare yourself but were dreading having that conversation with Atsumu, it could even turn out to be worse now that your mother in law was going to be in it as well. ¨I won’t let him get in the way. I promise.¨ he kept on reassuring you, tipping your face up to meet his eyes, ¨I don’t know how to face them, Samu. How will we explain what we have right now? It was enough as it was for him to see he actually has a kid. How are we going to-¨ you hiccup in between words, sobbing onto your boyfriends chest. ¨I’ll handle this (Y/N), all you have to do is stay by my side. Everything will be ok, they will understand this, Tsumu might not like it, but he had his chance and wasted it. I didn't get in his way, its only fair he doesn't do it either this time.¨ he brushed your tears away, kissing your lips gently. ¨Lets go back home. Seiji is probably hungry.¨ you nodded, letting him drag you back to the shop with your son in his arms.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

¨Don't forget you have to be in the school gym at noon. And don’t forget to bring the headbands!¨ your son yells out at his parents from the school bus window, both of you nodding in response and waving back at him.

Today was finally the day he’s been looking forward for so long.

You headed back inside the shop as soon as the school bus was no longer visible, you were so nervous, didn’t even touch your breakfast.

Mama Miya sent Osamu a text saying they were on the way so the both of you just stayed downstairs, Samu holding you tight, whispering sweet nothings next to your ear, his thumbs rubbing circles onto your hips as you waited for the rest.

The doorbell ringing a few minutes after. You could hear a sharp gasp almost immediately, making you press yourself deeper onto him, wanting earth to swallow you whole.

¨So that’s what you meant when you said they live here, huh? You shameless brat.¨ grumbles Atsumu, plopping onto a stray chair, staying as far away from you as possible. He’s been aware of his brother’s feelings toward his girl since forever, but somehow he thought it was over. Seeing this with his own eyes was utterly painful and he just didn’t know what to say or do.

¨(Y/N), my child. Come give me a hug.¨ the older woman headed straight to your shielding form, speaking as softly as she could, she clearly sees what’s going on and doesn’t want to aggravate the situation. You honestly missed her lots, she’s been more your mother than your birth one. She was there for you while growing up as a woman, even there for you on your first period. She was the one who taught you how to handle it, which pads to buy, she patiently answered all the awkward questions you couldn't ask your own mother about. Always showered you with love and treated you like you were her own daughter.

You let Samu go and returned her hug, a loud sob leaving your lips at her warmth. ¨It´s ok, baby girl, mama is here. You can cry all you need.¨ she rubbed your back affectionately until you calmed down, Osamu guarding your back and keeping an eye on his brother just in case. ¨Thank you for giving me such a lovely grandson, darling. He looked so healthy, I could see how well you’ve been taking care of him just by looking at his round adorable little cheeks.¨ she smiled up at you, holding both of your hands with pride, and you returned her smile in between sniffles.

Atsumu just had to say something, this situation was driving him insane, ¨So it was true. It was my baby.¨ you looked at him, nodding quietly, ¨Of course it was yours. I told you, but you wouldn't listen to anything I said. I also tried to find you again when he was born so you could see it for yourself since he looks exactly like you, but your phone number wasn’t good anymore.¨ your voice was raw, tired of crying so much, his heart being ripped out of his chest as you spoke.

¨Why did you not tell me she was pregnant, Atsumu? You never told us anything, wait until your father hears about this. Is this why Osamu broke your nose and dind't visit us in years?¨ Osamu nods, not giving Atsumu time to reply. ¨You had to raise him on your own, you are so strong, I’m so proud of you, darling.¨ her loving words were making you feel so relieved, you thought this would be very awkward and troublesome but it was actually quite comforting.

You were back in Osamu’s arms in no time, he wasn´t letting his guard down for even a second, but you weren´t feeling very well, your head was spinning and he noticed this, the back of his hand reaching over to your forehead to check if you had a fever, ¨You don’t look so good, babe.¨ he looks into your eyes, worried. ¨It's probably the stress, I’m sure you couldn’t even sleep last night, my poor child. Give her some water, son.¨ she headed over to your side and helped you on to a chair.

¨Do you not have anything to say to her, Atsumu? You just found out you have a son and I don’t see you fully grasping what’s happening.¨ you could hear the disappointment in her voice, making Atsumu grimace. ¨Don’t know what you want me to say, Ma. I do feel sorry for leaving her with such a burden on her own, but I can’t go back in time even if I wanted to. Doesn’t seem like they need me right now so yeah, I doubt they even want me here.¨ he shrugs, checking his phone while he speaks, not even sparing you a glance. His heart was hurting and seeing you in his brothers arms was aggravating to say the least.

¨Got that right.¨ Samu hands you some chilled water, standing beside you, ¨We don’t need your help. Kid's got all he needs. Don’t even think about messing around with my family.¨ he shields you from the glare Atsumu is currently throwing at the both of you for the seemingly uncalled for aggression, ¨Your family? You mean MY family, the one you stole.¨ his phone now on the table, he was trying to be patient and well behaved but he just had to go on and say it. Osamu scoffed at the sudden outburst, ¨I stole nothing, you are the one who took her away from me. YOUR family? You're nothing but a sperm donor, Tsumu. You better stay quiet, I didn't say anything when you snatched her away from me, now please stay out of the way.¨ he crouches down to take a better look at you, all color was gone from your face and you looked like you were going to be sick. ¨Ma, I think (Y/N) needs to lay down. I´ll text you the address of his school so you can go watch the play with us.¨ she was about to agree with this, both of them were about to throw a punch at each other and that would do you no good. But you got up from your seat running to the shops restroom as fast as you could, everything you had in you now down the drain.

Osamu was quickly losing his cool and mama Miya followed after you, rubbing your back, while you were still hanging from the toilet bowl, too weak to get up on your own. ¨You ok, sweetheart? Doesn't seem like you ate much for breakfast.¨ you shook your head and she helped you getting up, she noticed you scrunching up your face in pain as you bumped your breasts against the door frame. The ordeal clicking in her head quick.

Once you were back on the chair, she pulls Osamu to the side, ¨Son, please don't think I’m judging you right now. But have you two… you know….?¨ she really didn’t know how to ask this, never thought she would have to, not with Osamu at least, ¨Have we what?¨ he blinked down at his mother, noticing how you were once again running towards the restroom, grunting in distress.

¨I think she might be pregnant, son.¨

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silic0n0asis · 28 days

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what is "transgender"? is it just a salient incongruency between perceived gender and primary sexual characteristics, like ive come to believe and ive seen also repeated by others as a generalization as to resist incessant medicalization that includes innocent kids figuring out their identities as much as it does those who experience debilitating gender dysphoria? i don't perceive a gender of my own at all beyond some vague images of an ideal presentation, i want to be Outside gender, even "agender" or all the ever-increasingly granular "MOGAI"(?) labels still assert a relation to gender (even if specifically in regards to intensity)…all this i think would make the reality of such an (in)congruency indeterminate even beyond the deckle edges of my own perception and as such i dont really know if i can call myself transgender and have such a qualification be valid. long ago ive spoken to an acquaintance who has similar apathetic views towards gender identification and they said such an attitude still essentially qualifies you as transgender ("gender-agnostic" they call it), and longer ago still i identified as female full-stop, but i still don't really know. i kinda like the term "gender-agnostic" as it implies, which i agree with, that gender still works for other people, that it can be a productive force, a playground, and not a restrictive circumscription, and even i enjoy playing with(in) identity sometimes (primarily online but our identities in totality are mostly generated through the curation of online profiles now anyway) but i could never self-impose any label on me, even a potentially accurate one like "gender-agnostic". im not sure why BUT i am certain its nothing to do with its granularity…am i transgender? maybe its a question of reworking the definition…my "visibility" is a whole other can of worms

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thefandomwarriorlexy · 1 year

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Why I Love Descendants

It’s such an amazing franchise. The world is so interesting and expansive. Conflicts are deep and intense. It isn’t all black and white. The characters are so three-dimensional and have personalities, dreams, and destinies all their own. The friendship between them all is so palpable, I can feel the love. The themes explored are rich and give powerful messages. At its heart, this story is about four kids who come from a broken place, are broken themselves, and learn to be better and rise up to the point they’re able to help other kids like them. That is such a beautiful and important message and I hope it’s analogous to my own life.

The ships are incredible and full of love. Jarlos is so sweet, they adore one another, and I love that the two shy, mousy characters found comfort in each other. Devie is amazing, Doug loves Evie so much and will follow her wherever she goes. Evie loves him in return and will stay by his side, no matter what. And Bal is so, so extraordinary. Such a different pair, but they are perfect for each other. They’ve had ups and downs but they made it through, and now they’ll live happily together, forever.

I love the Core Four for their chosen family (what I call found family, seems like a more accurate term), their friendships, and their development. They’re all so amazing in their own ways, and even better togethier.

(Including Ben cause I want to) Ben growing into such a wonderful king, even if he struggles sometimes. He’s so kind to everyone and wants everyone to be the best they can be. He found is own way to balance being king and being himself. I think we should all strive to be more like him.

Jay was a thief who only cared about himself and what he could get. He learned how a team worked and became someone who is very thoughtful of his friends.

Carlos was constantly bullied and was his mother’s slave. He grew more confident, and learned to stand up for himself. He knows who his friends are and will stand by them through anything.

Evie was taught to only care about her appearance, that that was the only part of her that had value. But she learned the things she did mattered more and she doesn’t need a prince to make her happy. She has her friends, her work, her boyfriend, her wonderful home, and helping the Isle kids. She’s so compassionate, and is on her way to big things and I hope she gets there.

And Mal. The one who was supposed to be the evilest of them all, but ended up finding love and not wanting to let go. Having wrapped her whole identity around being bad, she definitely struggled to figure out how to be good. But with Ben and her friends’s help, she was able to learn and allow herself what she wanted. I love that she became queen through good instead of evil, and did it for love, not power. I know she’s going to do great things, and I love her.

Descendants is my favorite franchise. It’s the first one I’ve really fallen in love with. I kinda just wanted to write a little thing attempting to express my feelings and how I see (some of) the characters (and let me add that I don’t hate/dislike any of the characters). Descendants is super important to me and I hope I love it like this for a long time 💜

#Disney descendants #lexy’s thoughts #mal bertha #evie grimhilde #carlos de vil #Jay descendants #ben florian #bal #Ben X Mal #devie #doug X evie #jarlos #jane X carlos #analysis #descendants analysis #if you can’t tell Mal is my favorite 😌

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lordisitmine · 4 months

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TTNBD BLOG: PART TWO

Welcome once again, to the extended author’s notes! That’s kind of how I’m thinking of these posts. This post covers the details of chapter two of the story, (chapter 3 on ao3 if you’re just looking at the numbers), entitled What a Tangled Web We Weave. So, spoilers if you haven’t read that yet.

HISTORICAL ACCURACY

In this week’s retrospective, I’d like to talk a little bit about historical accuracy. If you’re anything like me, you like watching and reading a lot of things that take place in past eras. If you’re like me, you hate when something- be it a phrase, an outfit, a hairstyle, or a reference to people/events- is egregiously incorrect to the time period being portrayed. Big anachronisms drive me crazy.

However, there’s a level of inaccuracy that I don’t actually mind- if it helps better the story without taking me too much out of the fantasy, or if it adds something to the setting while not detracting from the believably- I’ll allow it. Basically, what I’m saying is that, like a lot of other aspects of writing/art, historical accuracy is about finding the right balance. Or, getting as close as you can to the target of perfect. With fanfiction, I think the margin is even wider- I try not to take this medium too overly seriously, especially when I’m reading and enjoying something someone else has written. I’m a little tougher on myself, though I hope not too tough.

I like to call what I do “movie-accurate”. A lot of my favourite period films have things in them that just aren’t correct, but because I love those movies so much, and because the overall vibe is close enough to what I know about history, I let it slide.

For example, in the 2005 film Pride and Prejudice, the hairstyles of the young women, as well as some of their dress styles are quite off from what women’s fashions were actually like at the time in which the novel/movie was set. The 1995 BBC miniseries adaptation is far, far more faithful in terms of aesthetics. However, the 2005 film is incredibly beloved by a lot of Jane Austen fans, despite its inaccuracies! Because it’s a fucking good movie, which sells the characterization and romances so well that you can sort of excuse the “dumbing down” of the details. It’s one of my favourite period films, and films, period.

Obviously there are bad movies that don’t even try to be accurate, but when I say “movie-accurate” know that I’m talking about the good ones.

During the course of Though the Night be Dark, I’ll be making a lot of references to/descriptions of outfits and hairstyles, because I’m pretty sure I was a fashion designer or personal stylist in my past life, but not all of them will be totally accurate to the years 1899/1900. That goes for stuff like technology, too- it won’t ever be over-the-top (i.e. they’re not gonna have television in the year 1900) but if you notice stuff that seems just a little out of place, know that I felt it was necessary to fudge the numbers, so to speak, in pursuit of the characters, the romance, and the story itself.

This same sort of “movie-accuracy” applies to the settings. I’ve never been to Paris or London in my life- I’m broke and there’s a whole ocean in between me and Europe. I do my best to research and reference actual places and landmarks, but if you do live in either of those places and what I write seems fantastical or inaccurate, I am sorry, believe me. Please forgive me, and do your best to imagine these as like, imaginary versions of these places.

I don’t know why I’m defending myself- most people probably don’t mind, and some probably don’t notice things like this. But it’s important to me to be as accurate as I can be within the scope of my ability, and it’s important to me for people to learn about my process if they want to. I digress.

CHAPTER TWO: WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE

Sometimes I pick titles because they’re references to things, and the words/themes of the things in question closely fit the character and the story. For example, To the End of Everything is a lyric from the Adam Lambert song Sleepwalker, which was on my SebaCiel playlist back in 2014 when I was first writing it. It fit the story of the end of Ciel’s life, and the end of his contract with Sebastian, and it’s such a nice set of words to say out loud and look at on a screen.

The first chapter of this fic, A Far, Far Better Rest, is a reference to the final line from A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. Two cities, London and Paris, both of which are the settings for TTNBD. Not a super deep reference, but there’s a reason for it.

What a Tangled Web We Weave is also a reference to something- part of a famous line from am 1808 poem Marmion: A Tale of Flodden Field by Sir Walter Scott. It’s set in the time of Henry VIII and tells the romantic and ultimately tragic story of some rich guy and his affair with a woman. The full line is what a tangled we weave/when first we practise to deceive.

I picked this title for three reasons: one, because it has the word web in it, and Claude is a spider demon. Two, because it’s about lies, and lies are the basis for some of the upcoming conflict in this story. And three, and most chief among the reasons: it sounded cool.

What can I say. Sometimes I write/use things are deep and profound, and sometimes I just use things I think are kinda neat. I try, as always, to strike a decent balance.

Alright, let’s break this chapter down.

We started off with a remix of a scene from the second season of the Black Butler anime. It’s a little infamous, to be sure. I’m speaking of course about the scene where Alois shoves his finger into Hannah’s eye socket! I know that in the original scene he doesn’t actually pull out her eyeball, but I wanted to go whole-hog, I think it’s just extra insane and I wanted you to know what kind of Alois Trancy character I’m playing with here. He’s an adult here, whereas he was a kid in the anime- I don’t know, I just thought the increased level of brutality suited him.

I pulled actual dialogue from the scene and repurposed it, which I love doing and have done many times in my fanfic writing career (side-eye at my Supernatural fics). I wrote it from Claude’s POV because I love that outsider POV in a scene. I also wanted to establish his thoughts and feelings about Alois right off the bat.

Cards on the table: I haven’t watched the second season of the anime in a very long time. I watched the first few episodes some time last year I think??? When I was deciding to write this story, just to get a feel for their characters/relationship again. I’ve seen them portrayed in fanon as everything from a toxic couple to a couple who are more actually in love, like Ciel and Sebastian- I very much don’t see that for these two. Their tension is different, and in the context of this story, it’s been years, and that tension is heading towards a boiling point.

What I’m saying is that I’m sorry to any real die-hard Alois and/or Claude fans in advance if I do stretch them too far out of the OOC allowance margins… but also no I’m not hehehehehe.

Claude mentions Alois reading penny dreadfuls. Penny dreadfuls were these cheap little serialised fiction zines you could buy for a penny, hence the name. Every volume was like, an 8–16 page chunk of a story. The dreadful part comes from the fact that they were highly sensationalised and sometime salacious stories about murder and highway robbery and pirates and stories of real-life criminals doing heinous murder and such- sometimes sold at public executions! Overall, these things weren’t considered Proper English Literature. Which of course meant that they were VERY popular. Mostly in the early to mid 1800s. As far as I know, they started to lose ground in popular culture by the turn of the century, but they existed, I think they were cool, and therefore I can include a reference to them!

Penny dreadfuls weren’t really about romance or sex but they were super popular among young people, and the idea of Alois reading trashy romance novels in general is just hilarious to me. And like I said, I just really wanted to reference something so undeniably Victorian.

And yes, for the purposes of this story, he does in fact know that Hannah is a demon. Did he know that in the anime? I think maybe he did, but like I said, it’s been a while, and I don’t remember. I could go back and watch it again, but I don’t want canon to mess up my fanfiction. Anyway, the fact that Alois knows Hannah is a demon will become relevant and important as the story continues, so I won’t say too much more about it.

Back to Paris- it’s time for more Lizzy content! There’s quite a bit of that in this chapter. Originally, this chapter and the next one were originally just supposed to be one chapter, but the whole thing got too long/had a natural breaking point in my mins, so I split it up.

These parts of the story are more difficult to write- they involve the OCs a lot, and there’s lots of things to establish. It’s hard to do that without getting to in the weeds or being really clunky, but on the other hand, I can’t forget that anything outside of canon references is in my brain and no one else’s, so I have to make sure to cover the important stuff.

This is my first time writing F/F romance! That’s not quite true. I’ve been writing original stories with F/F romances in them for years and years- this is my first time writing an F/F romance that other people are actually going to read. Thankfully, being a lesbian, I have actual experience falling in love with women, so I have lots of real-life stuff to draw from. I didn’t realise how much of my own past and current crushes and preferences wormed their way into the Lizzy/Sybil dynamic. I’ve read posts before about how romance/sex scenes are always revealing of the author’s preferences/feelings/kinks, and I was like “not me haha I am Unknowable” but I guess I can’t say that anymore oops.

When it comes to labels for fictional characters, I don’t like to use them/talk about them unless it’s been explicitly stated in canon. For example, I would never say a canon bisexual character is exclusively gay, that would be bi erasure and we don’t do that shit here. This is especially relevant when it comes to time periods where terminology was different, and labels hadn’t been invented yet/didn’t mean the same things.

I’m trying to write Lizzy in a way that the reader can interpret any way they want! If you want to read her as bi or as a lesbian, that’s fine, I have no hard opinion on the subject! I think it makes a lot of sense that she’s bi, I think that there’s a case for her being a lesbian who’s had to deal with some hardcore compulsory heterosexuality.

However, Sybil is my character and therefore I do get to say what she is, and she is a lesbian. Stone cold homosexual. Again, not that it matters, I just like saying it.

Lizzy and Sybil’s romance isn’t a full-on slow burn per se, but I’m really enjoying building it up here brick-by-brick. At this point, she and Lizzy have been friends for a long time and already know each other really well, so the “to lovers” part can kind of come into play early, but I’m not going to give it all away at once- where would the fun be in that?

Let’s talk about Verity. Madame LaChance if you’re nasty. Verity, of course, means truth, and la chance is French for luck. I kind of wanted her to be straight up called “Lady Luck” but that was a bit TOO hokey, even for me. I wanted there to be an auntie-like side character, and I said to myself, what if there was a character who was like, all the good, lighthearted parts of Grell and Madame Red without any of the “oh btw I’m insane/also a serial killer”. I thought it’d be funny if she was sort of a go-between, having friendships with both Sybil & Lizzy as well as Ciel & Sebastian without any of them being aware of it. She became a bigger part of the story than I’d originally intended- she sort of stole my heart, maybe she’ll steal yours too.

She’s a little mysterious, but I can promise you she is a normal human. She’s just very… unique, I guess you could say. No more spoilers.

I’m being sort of vague about the club and what it’s called and what it looks like, there’s a lot more about it in a future chapter, don’t worry. Also, Madame refers to Ciel as Monsieur Phénix and Sebastian as Monsieur Corbeau. That’s French for phoenix and raven respectively. Stage names. Code names. C'est très dramatique. (No, I don’t actually speak French, beyond some very basic words and phrases.)

I hate to admit it, but I felt woefully out of my element while writing this part and I'm not 100% happy with how it came out I knew I wanted to have some reason to show Sebastian and Ciel going about their day-to-day lives, but I was also struck by the lack of, like, drama or action so far in the story. I fell back on the old adage of “write what you know” and had the boys not solving crime per se (there will be time for that later) but perhaps avenging somebody. I don’t think Ciel will ever give up his vengeful nature, whether its on his own behalf or someone else’s. And for Sebastian, it’s just bad business, and we can’t have that, can we?

There are a whole two paragraphs from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott in this next scene. I don’t know if that book is meant to be sad, but it made me terribly melancholy when I read it as a kid. Also, there I go again referencing literature. I pulled the same trick in next week’s chapter too, which I didn’t even realise I was repeating until I’d already done it. Oops.

“-And nobody saw Beth wipe the tears off the yellow keys, that wouldn't keep in tune, when she was all alone. She sang like a little lark about her work, never was too tired for Marmee and the girls, and day after day said hopefully to herself, "I know I'll get my music some time, if I'm good."

"There are many Beth’s in the world, shy and quiet, sitting in corners till needed, and living for others so cheerfully that no one sees the sacrifices till the little cricket on the hearth stops chirping, and the sweet, sunshiny presence vanishes, leaving silence and shadow behind.”

I wanted Lizzy to be reading aloud in this scene and this reference jumped out at me when I was trying to think of books that existed at the time and that characters this age might have access to. Beth of course is short for Elizabeth, and Lizzy’s arc in this story is about her becoming her own person in a lot of ways, or like, realising who she is, and this quote about Beth feeling like she’s in everyone’s shadow and only exists to do things for other people seemed really appropriate.

There’s a little more insight into Simeon- I drew the photograph described in the scene so you could get an idea of what Simeon looks like. I really like writing Simeon. He’s such a Good Dad. I mean, he’s bound by his word to be a good dad, but he really loves Sybil so much and wants her to be happy. But there’s also so much going on beneath the surface. I know most of you have figured out his true nature by now, but I hope that I still have the ability to surprise you in the long run when it comes to him.

Once again, thanks for reading! Comments and questions are always welcome, and I’ll see you all again next week! Special shout-out to vandorttranslations, who is translating this story into Russian as we go! It will never not be amazing to me that someone feels strongly enough about my work to undertake such a task!

-lord_is_it_mine

#lord speaks #kuroshitsuji #fanfiction #black butler #sebaciel #writing #my writing #behind the scenes #ttnbd #tteoe series #ttnbd blog #commentary

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t4transsexual · 8 months

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Hey, fellow nblw here! I’m not a non-binary man, I’m just a non-binary transmasc, can I use the term lesbian boy/heterosapphic/etc? I know this may sound weird but I’m a man in the way Data from Star Trek is a man. Basically Data is an android assigned male at birth but he has no gender, but people use he/him for him and he may be perceived as a man sometimes but ultimately he is non-binary and everyone on enterprise accepts this. I want to be perceived as a man, but I’m not really a man. My attraction to women doesn’t feel straight cause I’m nonbinary, but it doesn’t feel sapphic either, it’s just… and i saw the male lesbian label and I’m like. Just exploring my options you know? Anyways, sorry for infodumping and you don’t have to answer, I’m sorry you keep getting hate. I’m auDHD so 😅

male lesbian/heterosapphic terms can fit a lot of people. some nonbinary people are more "male aligned" in presentation as well. im actually nonbinary myself and really only identify as a man in the sense that im stealth irl and everyone forces me into the trans man category so i just own it at this point, its fine for people to apply trans man experiences to me as long as they are accurate to my lived experience, but in terms of my actual GENDER im masc/male-aligned nonbinary.

as for heterosapphic, anyone who feels their relationship/attraction is both straight and sapphic in nature can use it. both me and my girlfriend use the term, for different reasons (shes a pan t4t lesbian dating a nonbinary trans man who definitely looks like a guy, and me because i date women and because of my background as a lesbian and current preceived heterosexuality, i feel that heterosapphic is the best way to express the depths of my sexuality)

lots of people can use the term heterosapphic! a non-exhaustive list includes:

-butches/trans men/transmascs whos relationships are preceived as heterosexual due to their presentation, but feel sapphic in nature (or just butches/trans men/transmascs in general)

-lesbians whos relationships appear heterosexual due to dating a butch/trans man/transmasc

-lesbians who want to affirm their butch/trans man/transmasc partner's gender without having to give up their sexuality

and really, for male lesbian, you dont have to be MALE to use that term. many nonbinary (or even cis!) butches call themselves boy lesbians or male lesbians because thats what they present as. a lot of "being a man" can literally just be being shaped like one, ive found. and theres affirmation in being read as a man when youre transmasc, even if you ARENT necessarily a man in the traditional sense, or at all. basically, you dont have to be a GUY to be a guy, yknow?

#boy lesbians #boysbians #male lesbians #transmasc #trans man #trans men #heterosapphic

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ritavonbees · 9 months

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the empath in fantasy and science fiction receives accurate information about the emotions of people around them, just as the telepath accesses true, unmediated information about others' thoughts. The fantasy of pure understanding has strong appeal for those of us who have struggled with communication, miscommunication and its consequences. (I wonder how much crossover there is with the group of people who find misunderstanding-based comedies of errors too cringe.) you can still put misunderstanding in empath/telepath stories, of course, because this information is fractal - it isn't fully knowable because there's no hard line between feeling, thought, memory, bodily sensation, relationships, context. but in real life you have to rely on secondary sources about that data, which adds infinitely more complexity. you can see how it would be nice to just know something instead of trying to hold, like, a Bayesian probability graph in your head to represent someone else's opinion and expected behaviour.

the fear hand in hand with the fantasy, though - that's a different order of thing, isn't it? the empath/telepath overwhelmed by the interiority of others, who needs to put the work in to raise mental walls, who isn't sure where they end and others begin, that's much closer to the bone.

because you don't need magically accurate information to be overwhelmed, to muddy your identification, to exhaust yourself constantly interpreting - you can do that already. if your brain is constantly generating guesses about what other people are thinking or feeling, it can burn glucose til the cows come home processing its own guesses and having feelings about them.

a long time ago my teacher told me poetry isn't a visual medium but that's not what the poets say. when I've got the cognitive fatigue real bad I flinch away from signs. reading burns energy like breathing. I've got no filter between eyes and mind, I'm interpreting signals before I've had a chance to decide if I want to. by contrast, I sometimes need to hear a sentence two or three times to bring meaning out of sounds. that's energy too, of course - sometimes more energy, because I've got to rotate the thing in short term memory until it clicks, or ask you to repeat yourself and then explain that no, not louder, just again. but sometimes I choose to let it slide, and I've never managed to look at something without trying to read it.

when I'm hyperfocused, I think my brain hits pause on those processes - not seeing, not hearing, although the light and sound are coming in just fine. they just aren't leaving marks. that's how I can hide from the world in a game or a story. but I can't just flip the switch inside my head because I'm tired and not today Satan the whole alphabet while I'm walking through the city - if I don't want to pour myself into the written word indiscriminately I've got to take my phone out or my glasses off and risk walking into things.

interpreting social signals is a kind of reading too, and a much more difficult one for me, more energy intensive. can't switch that one off either, although it is much easier to distract me from it when there's something else to think about. can neurodivergent people without ADHD regulate their attention more effectively? choose not to interpret something to conserve energy?

the funny thing about all those people calling themselves "empaths" in real life - that was a thing for a while, wasn't it? the funny thing was them insisting their interpretations of other people's feelings were true and real just like in the stories. I imagine some people do have a higher accuracy rate than others in certain contexts and communities, but we are all guessing. there's a reason the psychologists talk about "mind-reading" as a cognitive trap. the call is coming from inside the house.

and yet it's not a weird thing to want. this is how we're wired. other people's thoughts and feelings have a material effect on our lives. Maybe we can't stop guessing, but we can choose what we do about our guesses, can't we?

#notes towards a poem i think #don't mind me #headcase solidarity

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blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda · 11 months

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so ugh okay. i might delete this but i’m just like here thinking about it. i don’t like the assertion that people who bring lived experiences to things are just manipulators. do you know that there are so many people who understand, and engage with text and organize around issues who have never experienced academia? that a lot of times they can have a better understanding of issues bc their curiosity is fueled by a need that stems from their lived experiences. everything you learn and all these studies and practices are studies and practices about or of real life. people and their exeriences and what they did, and why they did it and what it led to. you wanna remove human experiences from conversations you don't have anything to talk about all these things come from us. its not manipulative to say i have an understanding and an experience. i find that can often be a manipulation targeted towards people who others feel like shouldnt have a say in anything as well. is there a place for calling it out yes. opinions dont outweigh everything and neither do interpersonal experiences. but if the experience is a reflection of the analysis its sound to bring it up. im weary and wary of anyone who thinks people saying this is a real life example means saying your argument means nothing now is valid.

in terms of art. and more specifically shows. writers pull from text and lived experiences and they marry those things to give characters complexity. how can saying this is how this shows up in real life be a manipulation? and if someone says have your opinion this is why i have mine …then i really cant get with what youre saying it feels mean spirited to me. sometimes people are just contributing to conversation not trying to get anyones mind changed. y’all throw manipulation claims around so willy nilly. i think everyone has a place and an approach if it really does add to whats being said then join in. why create this environment of competition of trying to have the best and smartest and more accurate take. somethings are what they are, but human experience can also add nuance. i think its an issue that people automatically call emotion manipulation all the time. it feels like the misogyny that women face and the child specific oppression children face. it also feels like ableism to me bc if i cant hold all facts in the way others can then suddenly im manipulative and my argument is weak. if i cant not get emotional than suddenly im manipulating you into thinking and feeling something else. i dont like that assertion.

i hate being vulnerable in that way. i hate people knowing about me. and i hate that reaching in to how i might know something if it touched a personal place will turn me into a manipulator. like im just clearing things up with people i usually engage with.

also sidenote why join an adaptation convo and demand book takes only?

#anyways im going to bed now

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baahsu · 10 months

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"i think im going off on a tangent now" op PLEASE go off on a tangent!! i already had the idea of reiju joining in on her brothers fun in the back of my mind and now these recent conversations have hurled it to the front

just. sanji somehow meeting up with his siblings again, jaw dropping as he sees just how *whipped* 124ji are for reiju (he has to act like he isnt as well lol) although he doesn't realize the extent of The Whippening until reiju gets him alone and quite literally hands him their individual leashes. she'd talk him through what each brother responded to better; praise, degradation, punishments, rewards... sanji going from confused horror to eager intrigue all too quickly

im so sorry for flooding your askbox but this is such a fun concept. sanji getting his revenge sweet with his big sisters help <3<3

yonji would be the best first option with him arguably being the most behaved, (but being 'well behaved' for 124ji is a loose term. the bar is in hell, yonjis just slightly above it lmao) he's all excited to please after crossing the emotional barrier between them and allowing himself to get lost in this newfound pleasure. i think sanji would agree on him being a good start too, considering how noticeably eager yonji is to see reiju coach someone else into reeling him in- and the fact that its *sanji* is better for the both of them!! *cough*sanji DEFINITELY doesnt have a kink for yonji calling him 'sanji-nii' or any iteration of the term nope definitely not*cough* ichiji and niji would watch on with hungry eyes, *knowing* what yonjis packing from previous experience. he can be wild, sometimes

next would probably be ichiji. he's compliant and mostly willing- its just very hard to get a good reaction out of him. he'd try to act sooo tough at the start, desperately trying to keep his face blank, but then his heartrate would spike and his body would get all shaky as reiju guided sanjis hands on where to touch him and how to do it, where to be gentle enough to make him melt, and where to press and bite into to make him scream. the fact that niji and yonji were off to the side, not-so-subtly whispering about how hot he looked was also *not* helping. (he secretly loves the attention >:])

aand niji. whoo boy, the brat himself, niji. theres a reason reiju started training him before the other two, and that's because hes an absolute *brat*. a bottom brat? oh, *absolutely*. but still a brat. he'd try sooo hard to get someone to touch him by being all whiny, pouty, and mouthy- they'll shut him up *somehow* if he just keeps talking, right? reiju would probably have to whisper in sanjis ear about 'leaving him out to dry until he comes crawling over, begging to be touched *nicely*'. and lo and behold, after being forced to watch reiju and sanji torture yonji and ichiji in the best ways possible, he *broke*, doing exactly what reiju said he would. but, when niji finally broke and asked? oh you KNOW that boy is getting wrecked. reiju and sanjis notable ignorance and/or mockery of him turning into sudden back-handed compliments about him being such a good boy, so polite to ask for help. yonji and ichiji watching from the sidelines, definitely wishing they could make niji squirm like that, too.

even better if at the end of it, when sanji thinks its all over, reiju decides to reward 124ji by letting them go at him however they'd like (with her supervision, of course :])

WOW THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY ANYWAYS UHH MOMMY DOMMY REIJU FOR THE WIN SHE CAN FIX THIS FAMILY WITH THE POWER OF PUSSY ALONE 💃💃💃

Anon. ANON!!!!!!!! This is amazing??????? I'm- let me take a second to breath here, this is just so good so perfect so accurate and everything I've ever needed??? They each fit perfectly in their roles and the end was such a treat, I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH you captured their personalities so well I want to scream

Yonji's definitely eager, but they can't underestimate him, he's bigger than all of them and it'll only take a second if he decides to stop complying and have things the way he wants them. So while reiju gives him more leeway she also needs to keep a closer eye on him

Ichiji's so stoic and calm and cool qnd collected, it takes a lot for him to express anything and even longer for him to finally let go. Reiju needs to go slow with him, like she's dealing with a scared animal, and coax him into realizing he's in good hands and he can let go of his role as the responsible older brother for a while

Niji is a brat, he doesn't listen, refuses to admit he's enjoying it, but his body betrays him and from then it becomes so easy to tease him and make him putty in reiju's hands. If he's being particularly difficult she just ignores him in favor of the others and she can't help her smirk when she sees how dejected he looks all pouty but still refusing to beg for it until she asks him if he'll be a good boy now

Sanji watches all of it with an open mouth, he's always known the power reiju had but this totally exceeded his expectations. He doesn't know if he can control the three like she can, but he tries and it's going well until a mischievous glint crosses reiju's eyes and she gives 124ji the green light to ravish him instead

I also like to think reiju likes to pair 124ji up and watch, see how they interact with each other so she can have a better grasp on how to handle them and on what they like, and if she gets off on it too then that's just a bonus

#I SUPPORT REIJU FIXING THE FAMILY WITH THE POWER OF PUSSY #vinsmokecest #vinsmokes headcanons

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