#calc1fer rambles
Text
james & sirius would talk about the most inane shit once it was lights out in the gryffindor tower
james, sipping his empty divination teacup: wonder if i've ever seen a pigeon that has the same birthday as me
sirius: word, bro
remus & peter, at their wit's end: please, shut the fuck up and GO TO SLEEP
#marauders#marauders era#james & sirius#james potter#sirius black#sirius and james#peter pettigrew#remus lupin#they're all losers#incorrect marauders quotes#calc1fer rambles
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
barty is the leader of the sassy man apocalypse
#writing rosekiller angst right now ouchiee#sassy man apocalypse#marauders#slytherin skittles#royal court#barty crouch junior#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#rosekiller#calc1fer rambles
177 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about how the marauders would either act like big babies when they're sick or won't anyone baby them at all
sirius: convinced he's dying of the plague (it's just a tummyache) acts like a sickly victorian child (he's 5'10) & asks james to carry him outside to feel sunlight on his skin one last time (he can walk just fine)
james: straight up refuses to act like a normal sick person. bro will wake up at 5am & go for a run & train for quidditch & study & do his head boy duties & be smilin the whole time.. all bc he wants to be a good role model & has no self-preservation
remus: rarely ever gets sick bc of his werewolf immune system, but he's still a little bitch around full moons
peter: chugs orange juice by the GALLON, takes timed naps, & demands illegal amounts of pepper up potion from madame pomfrey. is a literal machine and doesn't stay down for long
marlene: if she wakes up with a cold, she's always convinced that she can thug it out & beast the day but ends up becoming an absolute veggie by lunchtime. lily levitates her back to her dorm
lily: not even the plague can stop her from being an academic weapon. she can be bedridden & still furiously studying/working until mary, marls or remus tell her off & make her take care of herself
mary: sick mary gets clingy & whiny & blames dumbledore for anything slightly inconvenient that has ever happened to her
regulus: is absolutely disgusted by his immune system's inadequacy. kind of shuts himself away & refuses to talk for days (he hasn't lost his voice he's just grumpy). has emetophobia
pandora: yells when she sneezes & scares the shit out of people. starts writing her own obituary & posts it on wattpad bc yknow.. u can never be too prepared
evan: doesn't even know the meaning of self-care. he won't tell anyone what's wrong until he quite literally collapses bc he's physically incapable of asking for help
barty: ipad kid cough. reg & evan sentence him to quarantine by locking him in a spare slytherin dorm & letting him run rabid until he's germ-free
dorcas: probably the most normal. she takes the rest she needs & asks her friends to give her class notes, but hates being coddled
#tag urself#i'm marlene#the black brothers 🤝 being dramatic#james 🤝 evan#evan & reg give barty little snacks under the door#marauders#marauders era#sirius black#james potter#remus lupin#peter pettigrew#marlene mckinnon#lily evans#mary macdonald#regulus black#dorcas meadowes#pandora lovegood#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#sickfic#mwpp#dead gay wizards#royal court#calc1fer rambles
83 notes
·
View notes
Text
regulus black's favourite hobby is being strange & off-putting
#barty: hey reg do you want a biscuit#regulus looking dead inside: what did you just say to me.#barty: o-okay nvm. damn#reg who genuinely didn't hear him: ????#regulus black#marauders#royal court#calc1fer rambles
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
the universal marauders fic author struggle of whether to write aro ace regulus + jily, jegulus + marylily, jegulus + pandalily or jegulily 😭😭
#atp they’re all just in love with each other#straight regulus is not acceptable sorry#i just love them all#marauders#mwpp#james potter#lily evans#regulus black#mary macdonald#pandora lovegood#jegulus#sunseeker#jegulily#marylily#pandalily#wlw marauders#calc1fer rambles
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
rip lily evans you would have loved boygenius
100 notes
·
View notes
Text
reasons why you should like pandora:
she dresses like a benevolent art teacher but is really just a menace
bites people as a love language
can roast the living shit out of someone but get confused when they become upset bc really? she was just being honest
pandora meeting someone new: "your hair looks like pubes btw"
dorcas: "pandora you are SCARING the HOES"
gives people the WORST fucking presents but she's so thoughtful & kind about it
pandora, giving reg a homemade ceramic mug with the word 'DILF' and abs painted onto it: "do you like it? :3"
regulus: (through gritted teeth) "yes." 🙂🙂
she threaded stripy laces and small charms into her doc martens, and wears them with her school uniform
at this point she's gotten so many uniform detentions that the teachers just let her wear whatever she wants to wear
collects rocks (so me)
obsessed with dragons!! her favourite is the antipodean opaleye
polylingual - can speak english, arabic, russian, parseltongue, french, mermish and more :)
often zones out.. she's just in her own world
#pandora lovegood#i'm in awe of her tism#mug idea from fic 'i want to be with you' (nauticalthemed)#marauders#marauders girls#mwpp#royal court#calc1fer rambles
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
the marauders' artistic abilities
james
most tone-deaf guy out there
yet he loves karaoke & belting in the shower
not handy at all. sirius is convinced that james would somehow fuck up his motorcycle if he so much as laid a finger on it
but he learned how to sew from effie, so he usually patches up his quidditch kit the muggle way
remus
cannot sing at all. in fact, he refuses to, unless he's thoroughly wasted
at one of the common room parties, t rex’s 'metal guru' came on and he belted the lyrics (very out of tune), holding the fire whiskey bottle like a microphone
despite his questionable performance, he became known as the plastered piper of the gryffindor tower
he plays bass!! it's ok remus u don't need vocals
sirius
has a nice, rich voice, but usually sings off-key on purpose bc he thinks its funny
can play the drums :) they inherited fabian prewett’s old kit in 4th year and drove their room mates half insane with all the noise
can also play the piano (bc of their posh upbringing) but rarely plays anymore
he's pretty bad at drawing, but quite good at makeup (black eyeshadow, glitter, red waterline, u know the drill)
peter
he’s good a doodling!!
all his school notes have little sketches of cats and dogs and quidditch
an imaginative little lad. he's good at chess and mah jong
but unfortunately he's musically decrepit
#marauders#marauders era#james potter#remus lupin#sirius black#peter pettigrew#mwpp#marauders hc#calc1fer rambles
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
gryffindors def thought thought that james & sirius were dating at one point
james: padfoot, my man, i must say your arse is looking incredibly voluminous this morning. pass the salt, would you?
sirius: prongs, my dude, i cherish your arse with utmost respect. oh and pour me some coffee, yeah?
everyone else: ??????? are they-
peter, not even looking up from his plate: probably
#prongsfoot bros 4 life#platonic soulmates#but everyone thought they had something going on#james: your ass is so fat bro#sirius (tearing up): bro ❤️❤️#incorrect marauders quotes#sirius and james#sirius black#james potter#marauders#marauders era#mwpp#calc1fer rambles
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just KNOW marlene had a major glow up.. she was def one of those awkward, lanky kids who gasped when someone said the word penis and wore jeggings and looked like she knew a little too much about horses
but then she started quidditch & began figuring herself out and BOOM!! she was the lesbian heart throb of the gryffindor tower
like sure, she still retained some of her old awkwardness.. she probably wasn't very good at talking about her feelings, or laughed during serious conversations, but yeah. rome wasn't built in a day and neither was marlene's sexy mysterious wlw energy
#the horse girl to hey mamas pipeline#calc1fer rambles#marlene mckinnon#marauders#marauders hc#valkyries
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
if i pulled up to the first chapter of my fic and the notes said "cw: violent thoughts/behaviour, theft, gore, death, and failed rodent taxidermy," would you guys be put off. it's a funny story i promise
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
torn between hating and loving barty crouch jr. like yeah what an absolute dickhead hahaja i want him carnally. and yeah what an absolute disgrace he's so clever and funny and got 12 o's. AND YEAH he's fucking awful but HE HAS A BRILLIANT MIND someone get me a bucket he disgusts me
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
regulus probably plans his conversations in the shower
#poor guy just stares helplessly at anyone who goes off script#fair enough#everyone thinks he's just mysterious and quiet#regulus black#rab#marauders#marauders era#mwpp#royal court#calc1fer rambles
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
dorlily is so funny to me like those baddies would just be screaming at each other over who did better in a pop quiz and then start voraciously making out
#academic rivals to lovers#dorlily#dorcas meadowes#lily evans#lily evans potter#marauders#marauders girls#calc1fer rambles
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love throwing characters that have no canon interaction together and narrating them while they flail around like the useless losers they are
16 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
thejennastuff
~Friend or Foe~
grimm-realities-rpg
Grimm Realities
maased-out
SJM FANDOM EVENTS
byeoltoyuki
Back To Me
motivatedbywomenonbikes
Gorgeous Women On Bikes