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tarjapearce · 8 months

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Bad Teachings (Pt. 6)

Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader

WARNINGS: Strained Relationships, Anxiety, Abusive Parenting, implied emotional breakdown, awkward emotional distress handling, Awkwardness. Tension, comfort. Mild fluff.

Summary: Lost wars can bring the most unexpected of comforts.

Hope you like ✨

Pt. 7

Feedback and reblogs are highly appreciated 💕

Feel like this song is perfect for the chapter:

------

Fingers were about to type a reply but stopped. What use would be?

Ignoring him seemed the best option, your head had wasted enough energy in his antics, your brain had gone kaput when trying do decipher him. This is what you've gotten in return. You looked around, your little world. It couldn't be unbothered with external things, it was your fortress. The only place you allowed yourself to be you.

Annoyingly fixated into get a knitting technique right, collector of nail polishes, silly socks with passive self deprecating messages embroidered on them, face masks and beauty products; lingerie that was too pretty to not have even though, you'd flaunt it to none but yourself, a whole file in your phone of you in boudoir looking pictures was the proof.

A sucker for tragic romances, an avid exotic food consumer, and by exotic you'd mean the middle eastern all you can eat buffet located a couple blocks away your building.

Fan of feminine looking shoes but wouldn't turn down a camping day, and get muddy even, get imperfect. Humanly flawed instead of presenting yourself to the world as an 'expensive doll' as Hobie had called you.

Of course you liked to dress up, but to do it every single day had turned into a task, like any other adult thing around you.

A sigh of yours merely filled in the place before going to sleep. You wouldn't go to Miguel’s, a trip to knowing a new place was far more interesting than dealing with whatever was bothering him. A bit of regret for offering previous help cocooned into your head.

----

The biological clock in you, got you used to wake up at 7, made you to rose from bed, put some of that new international blend coffee you had bought yesterday to simmer; then you'd move to clean up the little mess in the kitchen you had done last night: a plate, a fork and a strawberry printed glass.

You then organized your toiletries in the bathroom, and began a strict yet short skincare routine. Washing face, moisturizing, and sun blocking. Then you went to the closet, something you had promised yourself to always organize once you had the time.

You went for a pair of palazzos, a ruffled skirt and some pointy flats, but changed your mind last minute, and rather picked a brown jacket, black joggers, sneakers and a turtleneck shirt. Comfy for a day of walking around in a cool day.

At eight you had eaten breakfast, and if it wasn't for the door knocking, you could've washed the dishes again and probably take a shower. Momma standing in the doorway screamed a whole new plan. Hide or run.

"M-Mom."

"Hey baby." She hugged your surprised form and made herself at home. You held her purse as you closed the door.

"I-I was gonna call you yesterday but some stuffs just showed up and I forgot." The words rushing out of your mouth.

She cleared her throat and you snapped to put the purse next to her.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"A bit of coffee would be great"

Nodding you went to the kitchen, a tight and uncomfortable knot coiled tightly in your stomach, anxiety was just warming up.

"I see you're still having a hard time adjusting to this new... place." She observed as her eyes toured the livingroom. Your college books although lined up in the corner, still were in the floor along some other items. Like a small potted cactus and a collection of old DVDs.

" Oh... Im... just busy. That's all." You offered the cup of coffe, she took a sip and scrunched her nose. You just stood there, at lost on what to actually say. It was rare when they paid you a visit in college, and even then their stay were only a couple of hours.

"Too strong." She hummed in disapproval and your eyes casted away .

Here we go...

"You have some... interesting neighbors. Just saw a young man that I'm sure that wouldn't pass an airport check up for the many piercings in his face."

Your expression faltered at her sneering, a bit of frown in your eyebrows.

"He's a good person."

"I didn't say he wasn't darling, a little bit more of... normalcy wouldn't hurt him."

Your eyes darted away from her, your face now solemn.

"Uhm, I don't wanna sound rude but-"

"You have somewhere to go?"

"Yes. I... I actually do."

"Oh? Didn't know you had gotten yourself some real friends "

Your lips pursed, trying to keep her comments at bay.

"I'm working on it."

"I'm sure. I mean, pen pals don't actually count since you can't hang around-"

"Mom."

She sighed and pushed the cup away. Your cue to retrieve it, like the coffee had offended her greatly.

"A little visit at home wouldn't bad for you, you know? We miss you."

We sounded pretty much a one sided word. You put the cup on the sink, not truly wanting to engage into her game.

"I promise to visit as soon as I can." The flatness in your tone could be tasted miles away

"That's what you said two months ago, sweetie."

"I wasn't having as much free time as you think I am, mom. There was this new campaign... and I was ontop of it." you back still facing her.

The fortress shook.

"Ah, honey. I know your job is frustrating and quite busy, but a little hello mom, I'm fine. Can I stay for weekend?, wouldn't harm you. Just look at you, it's okay to be an stress eater, but you have to keep your mouth in check."

The stab was dug deeper. Your fortress was now crumbling.

"You know I worry about you, right?

What a fucked up way to show it.

You just nodded, dread creeping up your face as she pushed a strand of hair behind your pierced ear. You flinched, it was still tender.

"What is that?"

"Nothing. Just something stupid-"

She cupped your cheeks softly and you froze, she took a long and dispraising look at it as she sighed.

"Jesus, it's just a stupid piercing! Don't worry about it."

You pried yourself away from her touch, like her hands had burnt you.

She frowned

"Anyone with a respectable reputation in your workplace could see you not fit-"

"Not fit for what, mom?" Your fingers pinched your nose bridge. Anger simmering below the surface.

"You are meeting important people, honey. You can't go around looking like that. You must look-"

"Perfect." You nearly seethed the word, "I know."

You poured the coffee on the sink. She just watched you for a second. Your hands scrubbing the lipstick stain off the cup furiously she was surprised that the thing didn't break in your hands. She just sighed and grabbed her purse.

"If you want, I could help you getting this place-"

"I'll take care of it." voice firmer than you had intended to.

Her eyes remained on you for a bit too long and then she nodded.

"Call us, okay?" You opened the door for her, eyes refusing to meet her.

"Love you, cupcake"

"I know."

The words bitter tasting in your tongue as they rolled off. The door closed and your fortress was in shambles.

Your mouth exhaled a shaky and almost whimpering breath. You needed to escape, your little world had been compromised and you weren't sure to stand the emotional chaos that was left. Everything you had built was now on the floor, just like your overall mood.

Normalcy? Stress eater? Perfect? You were sure none of those applied to you.

The battlefield had alot of your hurt and blood sprawled all over it, your face was still smeared by a forceful and imposing touch that was devoid of kindness as the knife she had plunged remained deep in your chest.

You didn't know exactly where this attitude and perfectionism had came, but ever since you had turned into a certain age, she'd give little comments here and there that would eventually lead you to your current state. Fucked up, yet moisturized. God, you couldn't wait to be home again and cry your hearts contempt.

Laughing almost bitterly at the realization that you now had to schedule your emotions accordingly. At least you still felt something. And right now, you just wanted to go back to bed and cry, the battle hadn't reached your safest spot, something you were grateful for.

Heart pounded miles per hour, chest constricting and head spinning made you support at the kitchen's sink. Pain pricked your eyes, but a still rational part of you grounded you with a deep exhale. You showered and got ready. Filled in your portable mug with coffee and left.

You had bought a little blt sandwich in the way, you parked and blinked away the stubborn tears that refused to leave without being shed. Patting a bit too rough your cheeks you took the mug, secured the car and went up the elevator.

Nervousness too preoccupied with it's own business to show up, a subtle anger had taken over. Miguel's doorbell was rang.

You looked at your phone's clock. 10 am.

The door opened and you were met with a surprised then a mild furrowing glance. His mouth went ajar but quickly shut it. The words he intended saying, died before anything as he studied your face. Nose a bit red from the previous sniffling.

"Come in." He'd mumbled and you entered, making your way to your work spot as last time. To your surprise his place looked a mess. Some clothes sprawled on his couch, a couple of dirty dishes on his sink, Curtains drawn in, place felt heavy and fusty.

"Go to the living room."

"Same as last time?"

"Pretty much, Yeah." He'd notice the metallic coffee flask on your hands. There was no coffee for him this time.

"You hungry?"

"Already had breakfast. Thanks." You went to the living room and began working. You were avoiding his stare as much as you could, any contact really.

He sat on the couch as you were already organizing files. A million questions popped up in his mind. Why had you stopped messaging him? You seemed unbothered by that, but rather hassled by something else.

Your pouty lips, set in a neutral line, eyes way too gone in a place he couldn't get permission to access just yet, your movements smooth yet void of the remarks you'd do of his work. There was no information sharing, no feedback. No praising from your end. Just silence.

He exhaled and focused on his share of files. You were usually the one that started the little conversations between the both, but after those two weeks of silence from your end, he would expect you asking him the why's and the like. And not that he'd remain silent. He had a valid excuse.

He'd be jumbled up in a room with a new working team as you were messaging him, all of them made noise, noise as in irrelevant ideas and complaining about the new upcoming project but none really offered solutions. He had been annoyed, greatly. His anger was misdirected and now he was neck deep in this predicament.

"Are you angry?" The question itself was stupid, he knew much, but it was the only sort of conclusion his million dollar brain could come up with.

"No." A half truth, "I just happen to have my own problems too." Snappy. He raised an eyebrow to you, genuine confusion on it.

"Besides, I'm just rolling with what you said"

What he had said? The only interaction you had was the text... Oh. Realization hit him like a gloved slap on his face. He went on your message log and reviewed the conversation again.

—That pretty much sums it up

I see—

Fuck. You had taken his words at heart and had just left him be. An apology, that's what you needed, so maybe the heavy and dementor-like aura that irradiated from you would dissipate. What had happened? Cause anything that would make you come here, instead of being somewhere else, had to be grave enough to force yourself in this situation with him.

His belly grumbled after a couple of hours.

"Feeling hungry?" You shook your head

"Got my own lunch, thanks."

Another ammo wasted. His eyebrows knitted together a bit deeper. You were almost done with the first file.

"You should eat."

"I'm not hungry yet." At least you were talking. Barely glancing his way but talking. He ordered some food and finished his file.

He could do it on his own, really, the I need help sort of thing was just a bait to see if you'd still be around. These two weeks had been draining and antsy for him. At first he thought nothing of you, maybe you got busy as well. But as the silence kept stretching, things just spiraled between concern and vexation for him.

Concern because it was usually you the one that most, if not always started the little conversations between the both. They weren't precisely both ways, he also noted, mostly of him replying to whatever random question you'd pop him. But engaging completely, it was only when you were face to face, and even so, he'd still keep you on the surface.

And then, the vexation of the sudden realization of you growing tired of him, for real this time, had sent him reeling into over thinking when the answer you gave him was pretty simple.

I'm just rolling with what you said.

And still everything he had to do was to text back. Yet he didn't.

The fact that you could adapt easily on his words made him both impressed yet again, concerned. You took things at heart. He had to be specific and clear when it came to communicating with you. Great.

You weren't precisely a parrot around him, but the silence you could devote yourself was quite out of your amiable persona. You were snappy, teary eyed, closed off, shut down. You had definitely came here in order to escape from something.

A boyfriend? The thought made him chuckle inwardly, so far what you had told him about yourself quickly erased the idea. Of course he'd listen and pay attention. He just didn't know exactly what to pry from you. He wasn't making an effort in keeping you around either.

Meaning, that he'd always act aloof and detached around people that would eventually leave his life.

Assumptions, really.

He didn't know when that would happen and he was already making sure to severe ties. Coping perhaps? He didn't even know. All that he was certain of was that you weren't yourself and that was partially thanks to him.

His mouth was about to speak when your hand put a strand of hair behind your ear. Three hooped earrings adorning the upper lobe. And by the redness around each pierce, he'd say it was recent. Was this how you faced your problems? Inflicting pain on yourself?

He frowned.

"That's new." Uncertainty just pushed him into a brash mode that eventually would lead him into lash out when cornered. And right now you were leaving him with little options

Your eyes trailed to him, as he gestured over his ear. The piercings. Right.

"Did it yesterday."

"Does it hurts?"

You shook your head as you went for the other file.

"Hobie is a pro at it."

Hobie?

His eyes squinted trying to remember.

The punk guy you had for a neighbor, of course. It was a little too cliché, perhaps.

"Why three and not just one?"

"I wanted to, alright?"

You snapped and he held his hands in defense.

Jesus..

You sighed and shook your head.

"Sorry, just... Nevermind that. Can we focus on working, please?"

A clear I don't wanna talk about it. Or more like I don't wanna talk.

"Sure."

-----

Your phone buzzed as you were transferring the files to him. The name

' Lucio Work' displayed on your screen.

"Excuse me." You stood up from the floor and picked up the call.

From what he could see, you were tense. Arms tightly wrapped around you, like shielding yourself from anything that would hurt you further. Your back turned to him.

"No, it's fine. Really. Will check that up as soon as I get home." Your voice flat, absentminded as you focused on the floor.

"Right. Bye."

A deep sigh.

"I must go."

"It's fine, you finished early anyways."

You stared at him, waiting.

I'm sorry.

His eyes sized you. His lips trapping the apology, and that only made your hands tighten in fist briefly. You picked up your flask and the half eaten sandwich. This time you made sure your tools were with you.

"Guapa..." you felt anything but. You needed air, space even from the suffocating feeling on your chest. And needed it now.

"I-I gotta go." You hands fumbled with your belongings as you rushed to his door. Escaping. Again.

"Wait-"

You were gone. His hands were placed on his waist. There was no apology, but a wider rift between you. He sighed again, for the umpteenth time. He had fucked up.

----

Entering home felt returning to the aftermaths of a lost war. Cold empty space, the drip dropping of the kitchen sink was the only thing that made an effort to acknowledge your arrival. You pulled out the remnants of the BLT and ate just the bacon, discarding the soggy rest.

Your head pounded. Miguel’s eyes popped in your mind. He looked like he had the apology on the tip of his tongue, but pride was bigger than him. Expectations were set incredibly high only to be crushed later. It was the cherry ontop of a messy cake.

You made your way to your bedroom to transform yourself into a more comfy appearance. Hair pulled up in a messy bun as you removed bit by bit your clothes, leaving yourself naked before the mirror.

Flawed.

Your hands explored, prodded and touched your skin. The feeling of unpleasant textures under the pads of your fingertips made you turn away from the reflection. Baggy and comfortable clothes covered them.

Your night ended with the usual meal prep of the week, and of course you finally organizing the closet.

-----

You didn't call your parents. Instead just focused on the screen before you, typing bemused at information you knew by heart. Another brief, another little campaign to create.

Another day, the silence kept stretching on both ends. Your situationship with Miguel certainly offered more questions than answers. Like you had been threading carefully around him, unable to access to a different sort of level With him, it's what he allowed you to see. But you, had also just showed him what you let on.

You were even. And still, you didn't give in. Just shoved the telephone back in your tote bag, without realizing his chat's name appeared as "typing".

Your day went uneventful, unaware of your raging inner turmoil, not that it mattered anyways. The time and world had never stopped over broken hearts or minds, why would they stop now?

Lunch felt stale despite you adding a little vinaigrette to the salad you had packed. It's what you would be eating for the next five days.

You went home around five. The place still in hypothetical shambles from the previous encounter with a boss out of your expertise. You were yet to fix so many things. Some stuffs that would probably still in boxes ever since you moved in.

You changed once more in a humble appearance and pulled out the packaged furniture. Appetite was mess, you had ate, but it set heavily on your stomach.

Bit by bit you started to unpack and pull piece by piece. A little bag of screws and a screwdriver fell out of the rectangular box, along the user manual.

It couldn't be that hard right?

----

Two hours of pure nothing. Your fingertips were sore by the pressure you had applied on the screws, only for it to be assembled in the wrong way. You kicked it away from you. Angry tears just bursted from your eyes.

The user manual crumpled and thrown away somewhere. You curled up in the floor, face hid between your arms and legs.

Why you were so stressed? why you weren't perfect? Why you struggled so much to stand your ground against your mother? Why wasn't Miguel a less complicated guy?

Why? Why why?

You were tired of the whys and the little to no answers they provided you. You dreaded the call your angry mother would do in a couple of weeks after not hearing from you again. You dreaded the campaign not being as successful as your other ones. You dreaded the next rent payment. You dreaded to cry to yourself to sleep again, cause there was none to bask in your misery with, but yourself.

The knowing yet still horrifying conclusion that you were irrelevant in people's lives, didn't help at the hopelessness feeling that was nesting on your chest. You had always been that unremarkable NPC that just minded her business and let life happen around her.

It was sometimes of your wonder what kind of person you would've been if some things would've displayed different for you. Would you still be an expensive doll? Would you still work in a fancy world that the only term that actually applied to it was shallow?

You braced yourself.

Numbness spreading through.

But of course, only for tonight since you had to offer your best smile every day. It was part of the looks.

Your door was knocked.

Caked tears were wiped away the best as you could, as you made your way towards it. A little rustling from the other side. You sniffed and opened the door. Eyes widening at the person behind it. Miguel.

Mahogany eyes seized you, a painful twist in his heart at the sight. You were a complete different person from what he was used to see. Unkempt, wet shirt probably from the tears you had certainly been crying, puffy eyes, swollen lips and nose. A shirt his size probably, hiding the body he had already tasted twice.

Your lip trembling made him swallow.

"May I come in?"

His voice soft. He held a brown paper bag in one hand and his lab coat and ID in the other.

You wiped your eyes before letting him in. His scanned the place. Half assembled furnace thrown hapzardly on the floor, screws and other tools rested in a bag. A few holes on the cardboard packing, like you had stabbed the screwdriver through it. You sat in the further wall, resuming your task of picking up the fallen smaller pieces.

Sidling through the living room, he stopped at the couch. He put his lab coat on it and then pulled the paper bag closer, his feet took him where you were.

"Why are you here, Miguel?"

Your words held no malice but pure curiosity although your voice was deflated.

"Here." He offered you the paper bag. He saw your hands hesitating, not that he blamed you though. But eventually you accepted it. He had to bend over to place it on your hands.

"It's for you." He breathed as his arms rested at his sides.

You pulled a small golden box with a colorful arrange of macarons, colors that matched your color aesthetic. Red, browns, white, blue and of course black. A little piece of paper tucked in the left.

Sorry

The words scribbled by himself. His penmanship was usually hurried and doodle like, something you had noticed from the annotations in the files you had helped him with. But this seemed different, he had taken his time on it. Legible and solid.

He studied your face, so far there was nothing that gave out any sign of hostility. Just pure surprise and of course, sadness.

"Though you'd like it." He cleared his throat, "I... owe you an apology"

Hearing the words from his mouth only made you blink at him, face flushed by the constant burn in your eyes, lower lip quivered, bloodshot eyes, to finally let fat tears roll down. He tensed.

You didn't like it?

His hands fisted and relaxed as you cried, unsure to make a much more personal approach. He pushed a couple of pieces of whatever furnace you were trying to assemble, away from his path and soon, he crouched to finally sit next to you. His frame engulfing the space.

"I'm sorry. All I had to do was to text back, right?"

You nodded through a hiccup. Then wiped your face.

"Here." He offered his handkerchief as he reached for the crumpled user manual.

"Leave that. I'm not doing it." you croaked, trying to find a steady tone in your voice

"It's kind of the same one I have."

Sighing you just shrugged and let him. Your knees supported your arms, as your chin rested in one of them, the other one, was above your head. Like a self comforting gesture.

"I was... in a meeting. A pretty fucking annoying one, when you texted."

Your eyes darted to him, but stared back at the wall. Matching your current mood. Dry and dull.

"I know work is your main priority, I shouldn't pester you either. I wasn't giving you the silent treatment. Felt the opposite really. So I just... stopped reaching out"

His lips gave a weak chuckle, to then disarm what you had done with the furnace. Your words were simple, yet pithy. Miscommunication was the culprit. And he had encouraged it to get this far.

You remained quiet, fixing your glance in the red macaron.

"At first I knew you were busy too. But... then the silence kept going. Kinda reminded me when you suddenly vanished those years ago."

"Im sorry too. Shouldn't have been so... upset and snappy at your own home"

"I caused it." He shrugged

"Partially. I didn't want you to think I was clingy or somehow desperate."

He shook his head with a stifled laugh.

"You're good company too. But guess I just read wrong between lines, like usual. It's... stupid really. My bad for that" you rubbed your temple.

"What are you talking about?"

"I... thought that I was making you uncomfortable or that you were annoyed"

His head shook.

"Trust me, is more like a me problem than anything. But no. It wasn't that"

"The reason I started messaging you really was cause, you're nice to talk to. I mean, sure you take a lot of time, and barely speak, but you aren't... a complete idiot. But then you sent that last text"

You chuckled as he begun assembling the shelf.

"Not the best idea I've had so far." He secured the base.

"May I know what happened before you showed up?"

You stared at him, a bit taken aback that he'd notice such thing.

You groaned and shook your head.

"Mom happened."

His eyebrow quirked but just nodded. Not prying further. You focused on helping him, the little shelf slowly coming to life. A little of your shambled fortress, restored and fortified.

"I hope that piercing your body doesn't turns into a habit"

"Oh?"

"There's better ways to let it out, that's all I'm saying" You chuckled and rolled your eyes.

"Relax, I had wanted to do this ever since I was in college."

"Why now though?"

"Saw the chance, took it." you shrugged

"Quite impulsive"

"It was that or give myself a pixie cut"

His eyes were on you and you sighed

"Of course I am joking."

Not even you were that convinced.

"What about hobbies?

"I have some. Well, started one recently. Knitting is calming. And I've been wandering the city, looking for new places"

"Get me the other bag, please"

Your tears had subsided, your hand gave him the bag full of more screws and little rubber lids to prevent sliding, still, there was a bit of heavy aura hanging in the air.

"Do you have any hobbies, Miguel?"

"I guess"

"Like?."

"Reading. How come you've been wandering the city alone?"

"It's... cathartic. That's what I've been doing these past two weeks. I... I wasn't showing up on Sunday actually, but again... Mother happened."

"Do you wanna talk about that?"

"No."

A way too quick response.

"Maybe... later or in a future." You sighed and watched his hands work.

"Family is complicated" He grunted as he secured the last bits of shelf's final part.

"Loving them is... overrated" His eyes snapped at you, a knowing yet silent nod on his eyes.

He stood and helped you as well, then, pulled the shelf up. It was bigger than you had actually anticipated, at least one thing was out of the way and you wouldn't have to bend over to pick up your books anymore.

You begun organizing them. Your living room was small. A single L couch stuck to the wall, a window on the bottom wall, sparse furniture, a TV stand with no portraits of yourself or any family really, and now the shelf that was being filled in with things. The door at the bottom was your bedroom he supposed.

Compact, yet cozy. It suited you.

He went through some files, pictures of your previous work campaigns on his hands. Quite profesional looking. Of course they had to be, it was your job to create these sort of pieces, a little understanding of why you always looked straight out of a magazine came to him.

A job requirement. And of course you'd accomplish that to a t. Kinda reminded him of your college years. Unremarkable socialité, but good at what you were studying for. The pictures reflected it.

He took another file and saw little Polaroid format printed pictures. It was all the places you had visited so far. The pictures gave him a little glimpse of things you enjoyed. You weren't one for too strict routines, You could adapt, but still would need a little spark to keep yourself grounded.

Wandering the city was like an anchor for you. Tea bars, bakeries, a thrift shop that surely had some characters in it. The liqueur shop. And of course, Hobie's workplace.

He could recognize the bakery's desserts. It was the one he got your macarons from. One was missing from the box. It made his lips curve softly.

"You have talent."

You blinked at him as he went through more folders of pictures.

"Oh... thanks?. I really enjoyed that class"

"You should publish them."

"Can't do that, they're confidential until a campaign is ready to be launched. You aren't supposed to be even looking at them actually. Might open a photography profile though, just for fun." You shrugged as you accommodated your reading books.

"You like it?"

"Yeah. I'm more invested in the knitting though"

"How's that going?"

"I'll get there." your lips mumbled.

You then offered a canned soda.

"I know this place." He pointed at the pictures of the bakery.

"Oh, yeah, they're good." You put the DVDs in a different shelf.

"They have these delicious mini cakes called petit fours. But I stay with Julien's Potions."

"What's that?"

You showed him the pictures of the Tea bar. His eyes scanned the images with mild amuse.

"Is it good?"

"Very. The mango muffin is just heavenly"

"Would you like to go?" He stared at you, voice gentle, just as his face.

You looked up at him with big eyes. A little spark of excitement in them. Finally the heavy aura dissipated.

"Are... Are you sure? I mean, your work is demanding and-"

"After work, guapa. We can go."

"Really? I... don't want you to do this out of... pity or anything. It's fine, really-"

"Im not."

"Promise?"

His eyes softened at your smile.

"Te lo prometo." (Promise)

-----

Taglist:

Apologies if I forgot someone (For some reason Tumblr won't let me tag some of you :<)

@jkthinkstoomuch @queenofroses22 @del-lightfulling @katitakenway @amylasagna @rositabluemoon @lyrasdrawer @plumplumpurin @damhanallagorm @chibiiichann

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #atsv miguel #bad teachings #t writes✨#spiderman 2099 x reader #astv miguel #Spotify

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genjv4rse · 11 months

Text

𖥻 THINGS — enhypen ◌ ִ ۫ ּ

syn ; things enha reminds me of !

heeseung !

dangly earrings, pendent chains, skinny ripped jeans, rock guitar, clubbing, late studio night, concerts, rainy empty street, love songs, specs, ice cream, deers, rainforest, going over the speed limit, long drive, polaroids, balcony, tattoos, collage campus, basketball, getting into fist fights, breaking rules, warm breeze, kisses, sharing earphones, untied shoelaces, sleeveless tops, cross jewelries, chase atlantic songs

jay !

red wine, ball dance, guitar, empty kitchen, champagne bubbles, tuxedo suits, runaway, black cat, fashion magazines, gold jewelries, camping, eucalyptus, biking, biker jackets, street racing, late night walks, city lights, porsche, cologne, the weeknd songs, loose tie, fancy restaurant, chanel bags, iced americano, home, long hugs, words of affirmation, eye contact, autumn, posh music, v necks, opera, musical recital, marriage, ancient churches

jake !

pancakes, golden retrievers, empty parks, cardigans, picnic, wolf pups, landscapes, abstract art, lip piercings, makeout sessions, mornings, cream, sheets, swimming, sand castles, tree houses, venus, varsity player, rings, clashing waves, sun shinning through curtains, backyard, champagne, sparkly eyes, netflix and chill, forehead kisses, caramel fudge, winter, jb songs, garden, lilies, lipstick stains

sunghoon !

sculptures, greek mythology, snow, ice skating, pointe shoes, swan lake, ice rinks, rhinestones, vampires, sharp canines, royalty, huskies, novels, cruise, 90s songs, ear muffs, moon phase, poetry, dandelions, maple leaves, vanilla shake, pearls, penguins, blush, lucid dreams, confessions, lullaby, archangels, romance movies, boyfriend coats, monsoon, hair blowing because of the wind, moles, tears, old love, unrequited love, ribbons, weddings

sunoo !

sun, tulip field, solar system, marshmallows, tteobokki, street food, shopping, karaoke, smiles, cute stationeries, stickers, secret diary, cheek kisses, mufflers, red foxes, bratz doll, playdate, selfies, carnations, easter, boba tea, bestfriends to lovers, cherry blossoms, lip gloss, skincare, disney shows, late night face timing, gossiping, watching kdramas, sanrio stuffs, blowing bubbles, photo booths, texts, horizon

jungwon !

kittens, valleys, teenage dream, gold fish, aquariums, subways, cds, headphones, empty bus rides, babybreaths, holding hands, first love, taylor swift songs, messy hair, vacation, countryside, group study, constellations, piggyback ride, dimples, converse, empty classroom, sheep cubs, indoor plants, mini cactus, namsan tower, han river, late fall, vintage hand written letters , young love, romcom, kitties

ni-ki !

graffiti, sunsets, baggy pants, late night dance jam, empty beach, bicycling, sea shore, ear piercings, watermelon, summer, slow dancing, grass field, bungeoppangs, duck chicks, disneyland, ps5, arcade, puma cubs, eskimo kisses, bracelets, youth, climbing fences, skipping school, skateboarding, mangas, school festivals, footsies, cute band aids, oversized attires, j-rock, night sky, laughters, slice of life, teenage, playfulness, photo booths, anime, shoujo manga

taglist ; @solarwoniii @shiningstar-byulxx @wtfhyuck @ichiibunztwt @enhawhoreist

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vox-ex · 7 months

Text

desk

Supercorptober 2023

“People are a lot more knowable than they think they are.” ― Sally Rooney

or a preque and a sequel to day 3 - Kara

---

There are a couple things that are important to know.

One is that Lena Luthor has a specific ringtone for Kara Danvers.

Two is that she never brings her personal phone into the Monthly board meeting that happens on the second Thursday of every month.

Third, whenever there is a concerning report about Supergirl on the news, Jess notices that Kara Danvers always calls.

Today is the second Thursday of October.

So Lena did not see the news.

Did not see Supergirl bleeding on the ground.

Did not see the camera cut out before she could get up.

And it wouldn't usually worry her so much.

Except Kara hasn't called.

"Jess?" Lena's confusion is palpable, etched across her features as Jess opens the door a little harder and a little quicker than she probably meant to.

"Ms. Luthor, I'm sorry—I'm so, so sorry to interrupt, but…" The sound of her own voice rang through Jess's ears as she stammered out the words. They get caught in her throat, unsure how much she's supposed to know, what she's supposed to say.

She could feel the weight of Lena's gaze on her, like something physical.

"I'm sorry, everyone, I'm sorry, but I…I have to go," her voice wavering slightly as she addressed the board members seated around the conference table.

Jess watched in equal parts relief and trepidation as Lena rose from her chair, her expression a blend of determination and vulnerability.

Jess stays behind for a second. Reassures the board members, still sitting there unmoored in their seats, that she will call their offices to reschedule, that Ms. Luthor is sorry, and that they should understand some things like this just can't be avoided.

They exchanged uncertain glances but, in the end, seem to accept the apology, murmuring their understanding as they gathered their belongings,

Jess catches up with Lena in her office.

Jacket half on, struggling to pull the sleeve up her arm as it tries to push past the barrier of her trembling hands. Jess steps up beside her, slides it up for her, meeting her eyes only briefly before she spins back around to finish shrugging it onto both shoulders.

Jess busied herself with gathering her things. Papers, her laptop, and a few others she didn't even really pay attention to.

"Jess, do you see my phone?" Lena asked, her voice strained.

"Right here." Jess hands her the phone that had been tucked under a stack of reports on her desk.

"Thank you," Lena mumbled, looking at it quickly before sliding it into her pocket, frustrated — scared.

Her eyes dart around the room as if looking for something else.

"Do you need a ride somewhere?" Jess ventured tentatively.

"No, no," Lena sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I just need a second."

Jess nodded, her eyes filled with worry.

"Frank's bringing the car, around," Lena said, more to herself than to her.

"Ms. Luthor," Jess began, taking a deep breath, "I know it doesn't help, but I think the news probably always makes it sound worse, you know."

"Thank you, Jess," Lena replied softly, centering back on her at least for a moment before her phone buzzed in her pocket, and then she was gone.

Jess hesitated. There were things she needed to do.

Meetings to reschedule.

She busied herself with tidying Lena's desk instead. Straightening papers, replacing pens in their holders, and ordering new flowers.

It felt more useful somehow.

----

Ms. Luthor calls to tell her she isn't coming in the following day, tells her she should stay home too.

But Jess has work she can get caught up on, and to be honest, she doesn't mind the distraction.

She does, however, mind Kara Danvers showing up in front of her desk just as she's sitting down with her lunch.

"Shit, shit-shit," Jess gasped, dropping her sandwich and knocking over her little cactus sending dirt scattering all over the R&D reports she had just spent all morning organizing.

"Shit!"

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry Jess, I didn't mean to startle you— um here — here let me help."

Kara reaches toward the mess, tilting the pot back upright as she grabs the little cactus, only to quickly drop it back down, pulling her finger away and shaking out her hand.

"Hey, ouch!"

Jess watched in disbelief as Kara shook her hand, trying to dislodge the tiny needles.

And here's the thing.

It should be funny.

It should be funny that a grown woman doesn't realize that palming a cactus like that wouldn't have this exact effect.

It should be funny that Supergirl is standing in front of her with her finger shoved into her mouth to stop it from bleeding after having been viscously attacked by a desk plant.

But here's the thing.

Jess knows Kara is Supergirl.

But the two have still managed to remain very separate in her mind up until know.

So, while the sight of Supergirl bleeding at all is always disconcerting, it's the sight of Supergirl dressed in her boss' girlfriend's clothes bleeding that feels utterly surreal.

Jess takes a deep breath, trying to shake off the shock and confusion.

"Are you okay?" she asks cautiously, eyeing Kara's bleeding finger.

She nods, pulling her finger out of her mouth to examine it.

"Yeah, just a little prick from your uhh, pointy friend there," she says with a small smile pointing with her other hand at the offending plant.

Jess blinks, takes in Kara more fully. The tired look in her eyes, the dinosaur bandaids peaking out from under her sleeves.

"Did you name it yet?"

Jess shakes her head, caught off guard a second time.

"No…I-uh, hadn't uh —"

Then, a third.

"Kara?"

Lena's voice echoes from inside her office.

"I'm out here…talking to Jess."

Kara calls back, and Jess watches her carefully tuck her hand into her pocket, hiding any evidence of her bleeding finger as Lena steps out to join them.

"Jess, hi, sorry I didn't think you'd be here since I wasn't coming in."

"Yet here you are as well, Ms. Luthor."

"Yes, well, I wanted to get a few reports to work on from home; I didn't mean to slip in without letting you know."

"I left for a minute to get my lunch." She gestures to the half-eaten sandwich resting in the spilled potting soil.

Lena looks at Kara. "What did you do?"

"Wha-why, why do you think I did anything?"

"Because we both know how clumsy you are without --" Lena's voice trailed off as Jess cleared her throat. Still unsure if she was supposed to know what she knew.

"Let's just say accidents happen."

Kara shot Jess a grateful look as she reached out to pick up the cactus again, but Lena grabbed her wrist gently.

"Are you bleeding?"

"Yes."

"No"

"Ugh…Yes and No. I was, but it stopped."

She holds out her finger for Lena to get a closer look.

"I tried picking up Gerald…and I didn't realize how prickly they were."

"Gerald?" Jess asks confused

Kara points to the cactus.

"You said you hadn't named them yet, so I was just trying it out."

Lena pinches the bridge of her nose, fighting a smile.

"Okay, well, let's get you both cleaned up then and then buy Jess a new lunch."

"Oh, you don't have to do that. It's fine, really."

"Jess, please, let's get lunch.

Lena looked between her and Kara who was looking anywhere else now.

"There appear to be some things we both need to tell each other."

She smiled — and nodded.

"Okay, yes, thank you, let me just put a few things away."

She grabs the R&D reports, dusting them off a little.

Comes back just in time to see Lena gingerly picking up the cactus.

Hears Kara's gentle warning.

"Be careful, Gerald can be feisty."

Sees Lena poke her finger into her chest.

"I have enough to worry about with you, Kara, please don't make me add succulents to the list of things that can harm Supergirl."

Knows both of them could probably do with being a little more careful with the rate they find themselves in trouble.

----

read and follow along on Ao3 too

#supergirl #supercorp #supercorptober #supercorptober2023 #sg prompts #Jess making her annual supercorptober apperance #revisiting day 3 #which may happen again #wink wink

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stickyfrogs · 2 months

Text

Today’s Superb Manners are brought to you by Round Frog! She is waiting Politely on the ledge in her Cactus Green Evening Jacket with Grape Feeties!

#Round Frog #frogs #pets #animals #amphibians #tree frogs #white lipped tree frogs

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exhuastedpigeon · 17 days

Note

Buck has a shot of tequila and Tommy has a cleft.

Tommy has a cleft and Buck has a problem. Because he wants to touch it, with his thumb, measure it with his little finger, trace it with his lips and salt and lime.

But he doesn't know the protocol and he doesn't know Tommy's coffee order and Hen is refusing to answer his texts and tell him and she must remember why wouldn't she remember it's Tommy!!!!

"You doing ok, man?" asks Eddie because he is a good friend and ally and puts all his weight on Buck's shoulder as he raises himself to his feet. "Want something from the bar?"

"Chin."

"Chimney's not...not...not over there. Go get him yourself."

"Nooooo. Chinnnnn," answers Buck and goes to elaborate because Eddie is a good friend and ally but maybe a little slow today. "Tommy has a chin. Does Marisol have a chin?"

Eddie snorts so loud he hiccups and rattles the table. "Marisol has a crucifix ...hnnnk... a dancing cactus, too."

"Like, two in one? Tha's wild, maaaan."

Eddie's giggles sent him careening into Buck and nearly make Buck hit his forehead on the table when the full weight of Eddie's strong palms slams into his shoulders. "So wild."

They rest like that for a while, slow and syrupy.

"Tommy has a chin," Eddie says finally and Buck knew he would understand! Eddie is the best!!!! Buck loves him so much!!!!!

"You have shoulders," Eddie continues, stroking a line on Buck's shoulder blades through his jacket.

"I do?"

"Listen-listen-listen to me, Buck! You. Have. Shoulders."

"I have shhhhhoulders," Buck agrees because Eddie is a good friend and ally and Buck loves him and this is clearly very important to him.

"Marisol..." Eddie goes on to finish and then stops, and looks sad. Inacceptiblation!

"Marisol has a cactus Jesus?" he asks, nudging back into Eddie's palm, which run up to his neck, stroke the muscles there and ruffle the short hair.

This sends Eddie laughing again and Buck feels the tequila warm him from inside out to the tip of his itchy nose.

___

I figured if you were getting nasty nonsense in your askbox, you might as well get a get well, dumb nonsense that was inspired by Buck's "He has a cleft." as well.

Get well soon. 💖

Anon this is so goofy and delightful! Thank you!!

(And now I want to see a dancing Jesus cactus because that would be so funny)

#asked and answered #bucktommy #buddie #anon i love this

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florenceuentin · 1 year

Text

April 15: Drawbridge- He’s my boyfriend, you idiot!

Word count: 253

@wolfstarmicrofic

Remus looks at the Black Castle towering over him. It’s after curfew and the drawbridge is up.

He clears his throat.

“Oh, the mighty, powerful, talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, showstopping, spectacular Lord Black,” Remus deadpans. “Will you be so benevolent and let a humble commoner like me enter your kingdom of greatness?”

The soldier with messy black hair and round spectacles stares at him from the balcony unimpressed.

“I traveled a thousand miles just to witness your magnificence,” Remus continues. “Please show me some mercy! My only family member is dying. And their last wish is to meet-”

“Remus?” Sirius appears on the balcony in his fluffy blue bathrobe. Remus could’ve sworn Sirius was drooling from the tiny white trail next to the corner of his mouth. “What are you doing here in front of the gate?”

“Your men won’t let me in.” Remus accuses.

“It’s my holy duty to guard the kingdom!” The messy-black-hair guard insists. “Thousands of people depend on me to have a good night's sleep! I am touched, honored, and beyond grateful for the opportunity of a lifetime- ”

Sirius swats the back of the guard’s head, “He’s my boyfriend, you idiot. Lower the bridge now.”

When Remus enters the castle, Sirius is grinning widely at him.

“So, your family member is dying to see me, huh?” He smirks.

Remus rolls his eyes.

“I was running out of things to say. Also,” He pulls his gift for Sirius- a small cactus- out of his jacket. “Our baby is indeed dying.”

(forgive me for the Lady Gaga cameo

#wolfstar #wolfstar microfic #sirius black/remus lupin #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstarmicrofic #hp microfic #harry potter

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slay-classy · 2 years

Text

SC#145

SUPERSLAY TIER

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Bae pants

Crop polo

Division dress

Ferrari bomber

Runner crop jacket

Statement pants

Vixen pants

Candy purse with mini pepper spray - Blender only

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------------------------------

SASSY TIER

Croco pants - AM

Faith dress

Naomi cargo vest

Nike x Cactus GoFlea jersey

Nike x Cactus AirSunshine jersey

Philosophy sweater

Philosophy bootcut pants

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------------------------------

CLASSY TIER

Luna skirt

Koma top

Kylie dress solid

Kylie dress laced

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------------------------------

INSTAGRAM // PINTEREST

#sims4cc #s4cc #ts4cc #the sims 4 #sims 4 cc #the sims 4 cc #sims 4 #ts4 cc finds #ts4 #sims4 #sims 4 female clothing #sims 4 female top #sims 4 male top

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dreamlessimp · 1 year

Text

— missing detail

summary: you and nagi act as a couple, as couples do. this confuses your friends to no end.

warnings: nagi seishiro x gn! reader, sfw, established nagi seishiro x reader, poor grammar & spelling, 1k wc

you trailed next to nagi as the two of you followed your friends into the diner. after winning a game, bachira and isagi announced that you all deserved something.

even if you weren’t on the team, you were dragged along by your friends nonetheless. of course, you weren’t complaining.

along with you, was nagi, isagi, bachira, and reo.

your group was approached by a waiter soon after entering, and he curtly led you to a semi-circle table near the back, as requested by reo.

once sat down, nagi pulled you by the sleeve of your jacket so you’d be sat next to him, with him sitting next to reo who was on the very edge. on your other side came isagi, and bachira who was on the other edge.

it was obvious that the staff recognized your group, whether through soccer, or reo’s family. either way, you were given hardly 5 minutes before a new, attractive waitress walked up and asked for your drink orders.

you ordered a tea, reo and isagi ordered water, and bachira ordered coffee. when it came to be nagi’s turn, he simply shrugged with a simple “i dunno.”

the waitress froze for a moment before reo quickly told her that nagi wasn’t thirsty. nagi himself was finally given time to pull out his phone and return to his game.

soon after, the same waitress came up with your 4 drinks and asked for your orders. isagi politely asked for more time to which the rest of you nodded.

unfortunately, nagi only felt the dryness is his throat after the waitress had left. he didn’t want to call her and order anything, and thought it stupid to ask anyone else to do it for him when you were right there.

“yo.” he tapped your shoulder with one finger as you drank.

you pulled the glass from your lips and turned to face him. “yeah?”

he pointed at your tea. “can i have some?” he gestured to the empty space in front of him, without a drink.

you handed the glass to him. “sure. you could order for yourself, though.”

he shrugged, and drank anyway.

once satisfied, he handed it back. “we technically just kissed.” he said, nonchalant.

next to you, isagi’s eyes widened. ‘huh?’

half an hour later, you were all done with your meal, and left an impressive tip. your group decided to walk a few blocks to a near by farmers market, as suggested by isagi.

you walk next to nagi, following behind isagi who is whispering furiously to bachira and reo.

you sped up, dragging nagi as well. “you guys talking about anything important?” you ask, confused as to why they were whispering.

isagi’s hand raised to scratch the back of his neck. “no, sorry. just our game.”

“what of it?” you asked. “you guys won, and deserved it.”

reo smiled. “hah, thanks.”

“we’re here now.” bachira announced with a grin.

nagi’s eyes flickered around the stands and saw a shaved ice stand, he again tapped your shoulder and pointed it out to you. he aimed a nod at the stand explaining where he was going.

you smiled and began walking over with him. unbeknownst to the two of you, your friends were following close behind.

once there, your eyes quickly began scanning the board announcing the offered flavors. “what’d you like?” you asked.

“uh.” he quickly looked over the flavors. “strawberry.”

you nodded and looked to the person in the stand. “two strawberry shaved ice please?”

the man nodded and a minute later quietly handed the cups to you two. you reached your hand into your pocket to pay, but nagi beat you to it. annoyingly enough, he’d already had cash out to pay for the both of you.

behind you, bachira aimed a grin at isagi while he and reo stared in confusion.

“they’re awfully close.” bachira whispered, smile evident in his voice.

they watched in awe as you and nagi continued walking around. finally, you settled on a stand selling plants. you had directed him to it and held up a cactus.

“looks like choki?” he said, framing it as a question.

you nodded and tried to hand him the small plant, to which he rejected. “can i take a picture?” he asked, already opening his phone’s camera.

he quickly snapped a photo of you protectively holding up the cactus. that snapped it for your friends.

you set down the cactus and walked off a bit to throw your empty cup in a nearby trash can. nagi moved to follow you before he was jumped up isagi, bachira, and reo, who had ran the distance to him. this quickly earned his attention as nagi faced them curiously.

“hey… nagi?” isagi asked, choosing his words thoughtfully.

“yeah?” nagi asked.

“are you guys… dating? he asked, gesturing at you.

“huh? yeah.” nagi replied, nonchalant.

reo’s eyes seemed exploded out of his head. “what? nagi.” he cleared his throat. “for how long?”

nagi shrugged. “a few weeks now.”

he stared at the amused smile on bachira’s face, reo’s shocked stare, and isagi’s flailing hands as you walked back. “what’s happening?” you asked.

bachira’s face lit up brightly. “you guys never told us you were dating.”

“uh.” you turned to nagi. “we never told them?”

“i guess not. he said, and then paused. “i thought we did.”

“just slipped your mind?” reo said with a laugh, though he felt a bit betrayed. “forgot to tell your best friend?”

nagi scratched the back of his neck. “sorry reo.”

“well. be a good boyfriend.” reo said with a laugh. nagi nodded.

you laughed as well, and quickly apologized to the three.

“can’t believe nagi got so lucky.” isagi said.

“it’s not luck.” reo said, proudly.

#nagi seishiro x reader #nagi x reader #nagi fluff #nagi seishiro #blue lock nagi #blue lock #blue lock fluff #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk #bllk nagi #bllk fluff #ssimpfics

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gayerthanevertbh · 1 year

Text

break me.

natasha romanoff masterlist | navigation

summary: she didn’t mean to hurt you, or at least that’s what you think.

warnings: cheating, g!p natasha, phone sex, heavy angst, and no happy ending - 18+ minors dni.

notes: i’m sorry

big shout out to an anon who gave me an idea about a breaking up scenario, i love you for that!

"Thanks for letting me in," Natasha said, her voice hoarse and her eyes brimming with tears before she arrived. I sat on the other side, not wanting to think about her. I know I'll become attached if I do. She sat on her favorite leather couch, her body trembling as she smelled the rose from the candle. She was reminded of my clothes, my hair, and the entire house by the scent. She was aware that it was my favorite scent. “I never thought I’d be back in this house.”

I evicted her a few months ago, but I was eager to hear her confess what she had done wrong. Wanting to know that she did all of that, knowing that she'll eventually lose me. Her gaze trailed up to meet mine, but when she saw how unconcerned I was, she returned her gaze to her hands.

“Do you want a glass of water?”

"I—" she pauses, solemnly shaking her head. “N-No, thank you.”

“This is your house,” I pointed out, as a matter of fact. “There’s a bottle of water in the fridge.”

“I’m alright, Y/n.”

You have no idea how much you scarred my heart, how much I want to hurt you right now. Maybe even scream at you if I have the energy, but I choose to be modest with you. Because I know I’m the bigger person in this situation.

There was a long awkward silence as we waited for someone to speak up about the situation we were in. I turned away from her and focused on the cactus plant that was isolated by the wall's corner. I could hear her sniffling, but I didn't dare to look at her. I used to have a pure heart, one that was kind and loving. But as soon as she hurt me, and ruined me, I could barely look at myself back then because of her.

Her jacket smelled strange; it was smokier and smelled awful in my nostrils. But she always wears smoky perfumes, so I didn't see what the fuss was about.

But this scent is distinct, far distinct from her other perfumes. And there was a small circular pink mark on her collarbone. I knew it wasn't from me because we hadn't had sex in a year. She was always working, mostly on missions that required her to fly out of the country. She could have been gone for weeks, even months — and my arms were always open when she returned. We used to be a happy couple, with a lovely and exceptional marriage. But everything seems to fall apart when she becomes more focused on her work, never on me.

“Tash?” I looked up at her, and I could see those mysterious deep-looking eyes that she used to have when she looked at me. "Did you get into a fight?"

She only chuckles, but in a slur, and replied: “No, why would I get into a fight? You know I’m not like that.”

“But—”

“Can I wash up?” She fully discloses the situation and walks to the bathroom, removing her jacket almost shamefully and tossing it in the basket. “You can go to sleep, I’ll be up late anyway.”

I didn’t manage to speak up and instead sighed, nodding my way back into our bedroom to get some rest.

"My love, I hurt you, didn't I?"

She could hear the venom in my voice as I chuckled, "Numerous times, Nat," and I answered.

"Don't call me that," she pinches her temple, searching for my eyes, but I couldn't look her in the eyes. Not when she has harmed my skin and my beating heart. “Baby, look at me.”

“That’s a hard task.”

“I don’t love her.”

“Oh please—”

She gets to her feet and knelt between my legs, grabbing my hands and placing them near her chest. "I don't!" she exclaims, tears streaming down my wrist. "I was just... confused. Okay? I was very lost; I thought I had lost you, so I went to Jamie because she reminded me of you!"

My rage erupted within me, causing me to yell at her.

“You know that’s not true, Natasha!”

"But it's true," she whimpered as she stood up again, wiping her tears with the cardigan I used to wear whenever I missed her. Does she ever wash it? Is she missing me? What is going through her head? "Every time I looked at her, it was all you—"

“Stop it, right now.”

“And whenever she would laugh, I could hear your laugh,” Natasha’s breath hitched. “Everything she does reminds me of you because it felt like our marriage died when we stopped having sex.”

I rose up from the couch and pointed my index finger at her, saying: “But you CHOSE that! You can’t say that everything that she does reminds you of me when you’ve obviously fallen in love with her!”

“This dick is too big for you, huh?”

“You want this? Do you want this down your throat? Beg for it, sweetheart.”

I awoke a few hours later to a strange sound coming from the office room. When I looked to my side, there was no space. I assumed she wanted a couple of beers before going to bed because it helps her sleep. I got up from rose from the mattress and exited the room, the sound becoming increasingly clear. The door slightly gaped, and I peeked at it, only to see what I didn’t expect to see.

“You like this?”

Natasha's sweatpants were undone, and her breathing pattern had shifted. She was furiously stroking her cock while her eyes were fixed on the screen of her phone. I wanted to leave her alone because I wasn't in the mood to help her, but when I looked closely at her phone, I noticed she was on a video call with another girl.

Who isn’t me.

“Play with your clit for me,” Natasha begged, her voice getting louder. “Ugh, want to be inside you again so bad…”

I wanted to scream, that’s all I wanted to do. I wanted to storm in, throw her phone against the wall, and slap her across the face. The girl looked young on the screen, almost passing my sister’s age. I was guessing she was 19 or 20, but I couldn’t care less. Does she know Natasha was married? How did they meet? Or maybe she was some girl that she met at a beer, and decided to fuck her instead of me.

“I-I want to cum,” she was whimpering, and I wanted to look away. I felt ashamed for my wife, including myself. “Natty, can I please cum?”

“I want to cum first,” Natasha’s voice starts to stutter and I watch as she had orgasm, moaning the girl’s name. “Oh, baby! That’s it, watch me as I fill you up.”

She cleaned up herself after that, spending a few minutes with the girl on the phone. I hear her say, “I love you, baby. I’ll spend the rest of my life with you?”

“Aren’t you married? What about her? She’s going to devastate if you ever—”

“Don’t mind her, little one,” she sighs, grabbing the glass of her scotch. “She will never know about us.”

“I’ve only fallen for you in my life,” I stared at her with my tired eyes. I wanted to scream at her and throw her clothes out the window before I did something even worse than what I was already doing. She shakes her head and sobs loudly before falling to her knees again. "It was always you, my love. No one could ever replace that.”

Pathetic.

“Well, you’ve certainly changed that when you loved Jamie.”

I decided to conduct my investigation a few weeks later. Jamie was her name, and she lived near the Avenger's house. I saw her and Natasha chatting in a driveway near her house. When I met her, a cousin of hers informed me that she was only 19 years old. Natasha met me when I was around 19, almost in my twenties. Was that her range now? Dating girls, who used to be my age? I and Jamie were only a few years apart in age, and I realized Natasha was having sex with this girl to romanticize the fact that I was who she was because I knew I was getting bored.

“They met at a bookstore,” was it my favorite bookstore? “I remember Natasha being so stunned by my cousin, and there was no shame in that. After a couple of weeks later, they start having sex.”

I make circular motions on my mug, as I try to calculate what month was — specifically the month that I had stopped having sex with her.

“That’s why she asked me if birth controls were effective,” the other cousin said, shaking her head — almost in a profounding disgust. “She wasn’t always having sex, but this Natasha—your wife, had this big effect on her. I still don’t understand it to this day.”

“When did they start having sex?”

She sighed again, almost ashamedly, and murmured, "Last year, around January." That was all I needed to know; it was that month that we began fighting, stopped having sex, and gave each other silent treatment. "I-I was going to tell you, but I was afraid my information would be leaked to everyone. But, Y/n, I really wanted to tell you."

"It's neither of your faults," I said, my throat trembling as tears welled up in my eyes. I can't cry now, not when I feel powerless over Natasha. "She-she's a young girl; I'm not even sure she understands who Natasha is."

“What is she like, then?”

I took a step back from her, remembering how much I used to love her, both inside and outside of me. Everything I shared with her has vanished, and our marriage was almost a mistake. I knew I wasn't ready at the time, and I don't think I'll ever be able to mend my broken heart after this series of events.

“She can be a romantic,” I sniffled, looking down at my cold hands. “But she is a heartbreaker, she truly is.”

As soon as I got back home, I saw Natasha sitting on the couch with a whiskey in her hand. Her eyes looked terrible, almost as if she was hurt by someone’s words. Usually, she would never feel pain when it comes to her missions. Mostly because she knew how to handle them, but her eyes looked different. I was already guessing that it was Jamie, and not me.

“Hey,” I said, dropping my bag on the floor and sitting down beside her, pretending to be her wife just for this moment. “What’s got you crying?”

She lets out a quiet whimper and scooted a little further away from me, shaking her head with more tears welling up in her eyes. Tell me the truth, Natasha. I want you to say it, say that you cheated on me. Say that you’re a monster—

“You're wearing that cardigan again.”

It was the cardigan that she gave me when we were back in Norway, as an anniversary gift of our marriage. We looked so blissfully happy back then, we were always dancing and making love at each opportunity that we had. I wanted to smile and kiss her on her cheek, but I felt still and unhappy. I still wanted to hurt her as much as I did weeks ago.

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “You gave it.”

We fell into silence before she spoke up again.

“I have to tell you something, but promise me you will try to understand.”

I don’t think I could fake what I’m feeling because of you.

“What’s wrong?”

She placed her glass on the side table and looked at me with a darker shade of green in her eyes. I could tell she had been swarmed up with guilt and sorrow — it was starting to hurt me too. She smiled but it faltered quickly, only to hear her sobbing.

A broken sob from the antagonist.

“I love you,” she whispers under her breath, it doesn’t feel good when I hear that term. “I—I love you so much, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“Nat, just say what you need to say—”

“I got a girl pregnant.”

"How old is your infant?" I inquired, breaking the silence. Natasha raised her head briefly to look at me. She opened her mouth, but no word came out of her lips.

Where did you go?

“6 months,” she claims, her voice starting to get deeper. “It’s a girl—I’m having a baby girl.”

“Is Jamie happy with her pregnancy?” I inquired once more, curious about her secret life while I was present. I wanted to tear her apart, to destroy her sanity until she went insane. I wanted to wish her bad things, but I also wanted to never see her again.

“Yeah, she is.”

I exhaled and let out a loud cry through my lips. I burst into tears, probably because she had told me that Jamie was content with her pregnancy and that they were content with the baby together. I used to fantasize about having a child with Natasha because I knew she'd be an excellent mother. That washed away when she cheated on me, slept with someone behind my back, and fell in love while I was no longer with her. I even believe it was my fault at one point. Perhaps I wasn't always present? I pondered. Maybe I stopped giving her the attention that she needed from me, the love that she deserves.

“I will have this child, but I will come home to you,” she says, almost like a promise. She kneels down with me and cups my face, bringing her lips against mine. I was stunned, yet again. I haven’t felt her lips for a long time, and it’s making me miss her more. Does she deserve my trust? Do I want to go back with her? “I love you, sweetheart. I always have and always will, okay? Please just take me back. I’ll make everything right again!”

“I’m sorry,” she broke down on my lap, clinging to my waist as she sobs harder on my stained black shirt. “I didn’t mean to—I promise I didn’t, it just happened…”

“I know you’ve been in love with someone else, Nat.” there was no need to lie there, and I had to tell her. At some point, I almost felt bad for her more than myself. I guess you could say my morals were more intact than hers, because if she even had one, then none of this would happen. Natasha lifted her head and looked like she was going to vomit.

“What?”

"I discovered it when you two were... calling each other," I stood up, harshly removing her arms from around me, and threw a bag on the floor as I threw her clothes from the closet. She approaches me and pulls me away with a hug from behind. “Natasha, let me go.”

“Don't let me go,” she mumbles on my neck. “Please don’t make me go, I don’t know where I’ll be staying—”

“Either at the facility or your girlfriend’s house,” I replied with no emotions, still grabbing her clothes away from mine. “You decide.”

She shakes her head violently, her arms tighten around me, and I find myself unable to breathe. I wanted to cry in her arms and tell her that everything was fine and that it was never her fault because I knew it was mine. I should've been more aware of her desire to be fully present as a wife. But I failed, and I couldn't admit it to myself.

“You don’t love me or this house,” my voice suddenly changed, it was getting more aggressive as I closed the closet door with a slight whimper. “You love that girl, and you know it.”

“I promise I’ll be better,” Natasha wails, kissing my neck. “I’ll be good, I’ll be here now… okay? I love you, I love you—”

“You don’t love me, you never have!”

"Please, allow me to explain everything," I turned around, and her lips grazed mine, attempting to kiss me. My mind told me to slap her and leave the house, but my heart tells me that I love her and that I should forgive her. Except I couldn't decide. I've loved this woman since the first time I laid eyes on her, so this was a difficult decision for me. "Please sit down and allow me to explain everything, okay?"

“The divorce papers are on the dining table,” I said as I brought out two pieces of luggage from the corner. She shakes her head and touches my hand; I forgot to remove the engagement ring that I always wear, and I realize that I couldn’t let go of it. “Nat, I have to go back home, okay? They know everything, and they want me to leave.”

“O-Okay,” she nods, scratching her nose as she sighs feverishly. “I’ll see you again, okay? Let me keep your cardigan. Please? I’ll give it to you once you come back.”

Through thick and thin.

I nodded and smiled at her one last time. I leaned in for one last meaningful kiss, and I could tell she was desperate because her hand was on my neck. I could feel our tongues gliding against each other as if they were dancing as we kissed for a minute. But then I drew back and kissed her cheek, knowing it was the last time I'd ever touch her in this way.

"That's the thing, my love," I said softly, "I'll never come back."

She nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Exactly.”

Natasha stayed at our—her home, with silence wrapping around her, while I left with a relative picking me up. She sat against the door and cried for hours, the regret washing over her as she realized what she had lost.

"Kotenok," she says softly in my ear, biting the lobe softly, "we're going to be happy, okay? Promise me you'll never leave."

I smiled blissfully at her, knowing that our future will be filled with joy.

“I promise, my bear.”

hehe

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha angst #natasha romanoff fanfic #black widow x reader #black widow x you #a's oneshots!

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