#but quarantine has us acting different don't it
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Jungkook
𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓬 [Main Work]
You're supposed to keep him in check and integrate him into earth's society while he recovers from the aftereffects of catching a viral infection on his planet. All that, while you get to earn a pretty good monthly compensation for your efforts from the government of his and your planet.
Or more simplified: You're a paid babysitter for a 7' tall alien who's caught a virus that makes him act purely on instincts, rather than logic. Oh yeah- and he tried to eat your neighbor's pet bird. Yeah...
Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, Yes I'm writing that story..., mentions of doctors visits (needles, injections, medical terms, blood), mild Angst, so much chaos, he almost eats a bird once oops, mild Angst, strangers to lovers, more TBA
Length: 4k words
A/N: THERE IS NO TAGLIST. THERE IS NO TAGLIST FOR THIS. THERE REALLY ISNT. DO NOT ASK.
-> Masterlist
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"Are you sure that's a good Idea?" Jimin asks, and you shrug, dipping your piece of bread in the sauce.
"Yeah, why not?" You say. "They're not dangerous or anything. I've met Yoongi, and he's cool. Can live alone, even!" You tell your best friend across from you, who doesn't seem convinced.
"Yoongi is different though. He's, like, recovered already." Jimin says. "You'll be getting one straight out of quarantine. I'm sorry but, are you sure you can handle that?" He worries, and you roll your eyes.
"Jimin you're acting as if he's gonna try and murder me in my sleep." You scoff, denying any of his worries. "I went to all the lessons and readings and educational stuff- I wouldn't have gotten approved if I didn't. So calm down, I got this." You chuckle.
Jimin simply shrugging, well aware he can't change your mind.
"Jungkook, no, come on." The careworker who's nametag reads 'Kim Namjoon' gently says, holding the hand of who you assume must be Jeon Jungkook-
26-year-old Vrota, straight out of quarantine, having been brought to earth for treatment earlier this year. He likes sports, has a pretty big appetite, and dislikes being left alone for too long. He used to work as a physical health coach before catching the virus on Vilia, and stayed in self-isolation for about half a year before being sent to earth to be treated in quarantine for the most severe portion of his sickness.
Now, he's deemed healthy enough to stay with a human 'caretaker'- or babysitter, how you'd call it. And to be honest, you didn't really think much about taking care of a Vrota at first, having met one by the name of Min Yoongi during your earlier days at the education center for Vilian people- and he was a pretty cool guy.
What you didn't take into thought was apparently that Vrota can look very different just like humans. So yeah.. the guy standing in front of you right now with his big brown cat-eyes and colorful tattoos isn't really comparable to the chill, rather laid back Yoongi you had met.
No.
Fuck no.
Walking into your home is a at least 7-foot tall young man of your age, simply black shirt stretching over the muscles of his biceps, jeans seeming to barely contain his thigh muscles. Jesus christ.
Maybe Jimin was right in his worries that you might end up dead at the end of this.
"So, Jungkook here doesn't have any allergies, so you don't have to worry about that. He's overall low maintenance, sleeps a lot, but when he's awake you might want to start taking him out a bit, since he get's a bit restless if he's got nothing to occupy himself with." Namjoon explains, giving you all the necessary papers in an envelops, while Jungkook walks around to explore your apartment. "Also, don't be intimidated by him. He's gone through multiple rounds of behavioral analysis, and has been deemed no threat whatsoever." He offers when he notices you watch the way the young man walks around, looking at pictures on your wall.
"So like, I guess he has to put that on when we go out?" You wonder, pointing at the simple black collar with a GPS tracking device on it.
"Yes, please. And also, keep a hold of his hand, just so he doesn't get lost." Namjoon chuckles.
"Sorry, but I don't think me holding him by his hand is gonna do much." You joke, making Namjoon chuckle.
"Ah, no-" He agrees. "-it's not to physically keep him with you. It just reassures him, in a way. He enjoys physical contact a lot." he explains.
"So- does he talk?" You wonder, watching how Jungkook looks out the windows, cat eyes jumping around at the nature and scenery outside.
"Sometimes, but barely. He understands speech fluently though. It'll take some time for him to come out of his shell, but once he's comfortable, he'll talk. The virus didn't injure his brain whatsoever, so he's expected to make a full recovery by the end of this year." Namjoon informs you, and you nod. "His scheduled appointments are in there, his current doctors are marked down as well. If you can't take him to one of those appointments, please call in advance, alright? Otherwise they'll immediately try and pick him up themselves, and that's gonna be a lot of paperwork on your side, and a lot of unnecessary stress on his." He explains further, and you nod.
"So, basically- cook him food, make sure he doesn't go missing, and take him to his doctors. Got it." You nod, making Namjoon chuckle.
"Pretty much. Like I said, he's rather low maintenance. You can occupy him with video games or movies as well- and when it comes to food, he's not picky. Doesn't like sour snacks though." He laughs, and you nod.
"No sour stuff, got it." You nod, and at that, Namjoon claps his hands together.
"Alright kook, I'm gonna leave you here then." He says, making the man in question walk closer again, nodding. "Do you like it here?" He wonders, and Jungkook shrugs, looking around-
before he nods, looking at you.
"Alright. His clothes and everything has arrived, right?" Namjoon asks, and you nod.
"All in his room." You say, making Namjoon nod.
"Don't cause too much trouble, alright?" He tells Jungkook, who nods a bit deflated, visibly a bit upset he's gonna leave now. But he doesn't show it too much, waves Namjoon goodbye until the door closes, leaving him alone with you.
"Your room is here-" You say, leading him to a small guest room where he spots his suitcases on the bed. "I didn't unpack them, cause.. privacy and stuff. So you can do that while I make something to eat?" You ask, and he nods, walking past you- and only now do you realize just how much taller he really is than you.
Jesus christ.
You break away your eyes from the sight of his broad back to instead run into your kitchen, putting away the papers and starting to cook instead to both calm yourself down- and make sure Jungkook feels comfortable too.
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It's been a few weeks- and thinks have definitely settled quite well.
You're currently sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office- waiting to be called in, as Jungkook keeps rubbing his ear. "No, don't." You quietly scold him with a soft tone, carefully pulling his hand down by his biceps, causing him to whine under his breath in complaint.
He's been having some issues with it recently- an underlying problem that had been overlooked due to more pressing issues. An elderly woman with a young looking Vrota girl smiles at you from where she sits across, watching rather fondly how you hold Jungkook's hand in yours. Namjoon had been right- it works wonders in reassuring the young man.
And it also kept him close at your side.
"Jeon Jungkook?" Is called by a nurse, and you follow her into one of the examination rooms, where Jungkook sits down on the bed, while you took a seat close by on a chair. It's routine to you both by now, after all. "Ah, there. Hello!" The doctor offers, bowing politely before he sits down across from you behind his table. "So- apparently he's got some trouble with his ear?" He wonders, and you nod.
"He's been pretty frustrated with it for some days now. Keeps rubbing it, and he doesn't like it being touched either." You inform the man, who nods and writes some stuff down in his computer with the help of his keyboard.
"Hm yeah, that looks pretty sore." The man says as he inspects Jungkook's ear further, his tail whipping around as he tries to stay composed.
Unbeknownst to you, he only really does it to impress you.
As soon as the doctor is done, Jungkook get's up to walk closer to where you sit, hand curiously playing with the shoulder strap of your top while the doctor explains what medication Jungkook will have to take. Touches like this aren't unusual- Namjoon had been right, after all. The Vrota standing next to you is very touchy, enjoying you close and seemingly seeking you whenever he can. From sitting on the couch so closely next to each other that your legs are touching, to snoozing during a nap with his full upper body on your thighs.
It's what happens later when you're back home, as you're scrolling around on your phone, while he purrs in his sleep on your thighs. He's full on hugging your middle, arms around you keeping you close while the tip of his tail moves a little as he dreams. He really is currently like a big cat in a humanoid body- and you wonder if it's still the aftereffects of his virus, or if he's always like this in general.
Almost as if on pure instinct, one of your hands falls into his slightly curly hair, nails running over his scalp, and at that, his almost unnoticeable purr turns into vibrant rumbling in his chest. His arms wrap a bit tighter around your body as he adjusts his position, a soft smile on his face as he buries his nose in the front of your t-shirt. In this moment, you have to think about Jimin, and his big worries.
What a load of bullshit, you think to yourself, as you watch the happy cat-boy-alien snuggle just a little closer to you.
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Scratch that. Scratch all of that. This young man is a menace, and you'll surely go to jail for not looking after him by the end of this entire situation.
"Jungkook…" You say, at a stand-off with the big cat-like alien across from you who stares you down with his stupidly cute big round eyes as if he's not doing anything wrong. "Where is pudgy?" You ask, and at that he fully turns around, squirming bird in his hand. "Jungkook, no, no no no-!" You dramatically call out, hands reaching for him- when he looks at the bird, then at you. "Give him to me, yeah?" you try, and he seems completely taken aback for a moment, and almost- shy?
Unbeknownst to you, he thinks you want the bird for something entirely different. In his mind, you're not asking for the bird itself- you're asking for him to offer it for you.
You want him to… court you?
He seems to deeply think for a good moment as he watches the bird breathe heavily, it's life probably flashing before it's very eyes before Jungkook brightly grins, sharp canine teeth making his happy grin look more dangerous than it probably is.
You don't know why he's suddenly so chipper, tail held high and eyes sparkling.
Suddenly, he holds the bird out to you like he's offering it rather than returning it- and you carefully take the poor thing from his rough hold, accepting it. It's something that makes the tip of his tail snap upwards in excitement, eyes scanning you for every reaction as you walk back.
"I'll be… right back.." You carefully tell Jungkook, who shrugs. "Do not do anything while I'm gone." You warn, before you dash out the front door to return the pet yet again, violently knocking on your neighbor's door.
"What?!" Seokjin yells almost, when you hold out his bird to him. "Pudgy!"
"Yeah, fuck your bird Jin!" You yell at the young man. "Jungkook almost fucking ate him, keep the thing in his cage for god's sake! Do you know how much trouble I would've been in if he actually ate him? I'm not ensured for accidental pet-ingestion!" You complain, making the man laugh a little.
"I'll keep the windows closed from now on." He reassures you, and you nod, pinching the bridge of your nose as you make your way back downstairs into your apartment-
where a not so happy Jungkook waits, arms crossed and tail whipping angrily from side to side behind him, knocking down some papers on the kitchen table. He's clearly unhappy, growling a little with every breath, eyes sharp and glaring at you dangerously.
"What happened?" You wonder, and Jungkook himself wants to just yell at you.
You're so stupid, he thinks to himself.
Why would you insult him like that? He caught that bird, and you wanted it- so he offered it, thinking you finally understood his intentions at this point- but no. Instead you insult him by giving HIS offering to that stupid human man upstairs, as if to mock him!
Do you want something more impressive? Maybe a tiny bird isn't enough to win you over. But on earth, there's not much prey to hunt- and considering he's a little bound to the interior of your apartment, he doesn't have any other options, really. And even if he was to catch something better- like the deer he'd almost caught if it wasn't for you scolding him for it- you still don't seem to like that at all. He doesn't know what else he could do to impress you.
What the hell do human woman want?!
Maybe he just really chose to court the most stupid and ungrateful human he could find- but he'll make sure you understand his intentions soon enough, and he'll teach you proper manners as well, once he's better. Right now, he's still unable to really do much in his state- but once he recovers a little more, he'll make sure.
He'll make sure you know exactly what he wants from you.
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It's been a few months, and Jungkook has started to find his voice again, it seems like.
He hums a lot when doing household tasks, sings to himself while he folds laundry, throws random half-sentences at you here and there whenever he feels like doing so. And all of that is fine and dandy- if it wasn't for that very specific nickname he's come up with for you. You try to tell yourself that he just doesn't know any better, that he's just overly friendly, that there's no way he'd be using it for those specific reasons. It doesn't help that he's horribly attractive, and nice, and, ugh.
This is getting more complicated than you hoped it would.
"Kitty!" He chirps, as he leans over the couch, and holds something out to you. You can't help but flinch a bit internally at the way he says that nickname. You're guessing it came from when he'd asked what those cat-plushies in your bed had been called, and you had answered Hello Kitty to him. He'd laughed, pointed at the toy, and then pointed at your cheeks, poking them.
Ever since then, you'd been stuck with that name in his head, it seems like.
You eat from his fingers as he puts the piece of meat on your tongue, an odd, focused gaze on the action found in his eyes as he licks his own lips the same way you do yours. "It's good!" You praise, and he grins brightly, eagerly running back into your kitchen to finish whatever he's cooking. He's been becoming a lot more independent- and it makes you a little sad, considering that once he's deemed healthy enough, he'll leave you behind, move back to his planet one day, and forget you even existed.
A little bit of a bummer, really. But at the same time, there's nothing you can do about it. You don't feel good about asking him out- because what if he feels obligated to say yes?
It's like he senses the slight shift in your mood, slowly walking back up to the couch again where you sit, sitting down next to you on the couch, knees digging into the soft cushions while he curiously watches you with a tilted head. "Huh?" You wonder, smiling- but he frowns, shakes his head.
"What?" He asks. "Sad?" He questions, and you shrug, shaking your head.
"No no, don't worry." You shake it off. "Are you done cooking? Turned everything off?" You ask him, and he nods, but doesn't let off from his question it seems. He opens his arms, makes a grabbing motion with his hands, and you laugh. "You want a hug?" You giggle, but he shakes his head.
"No, you." He argues gently, urging you once more. "You, hug. Sad." He explains, and you laugh.
"Jungkook, I'm not sad." You say, and suddenly, his hands flop down, a frustrated look on his face.
"Don't want?" He hufffs. "Hug me?" He complains, and you look at him with questioning eyes.
"I do wanna hug you, kook." You say, and he perks up at the nickname used. "Just- you don't have to do that just cause I'm like, not feeling happy." You explain to him. "I'm here to take care of you, after all, not the other way around." You laugh, and he watches you a bit more serious right now.
"Right." He suddenly says with a flat tone. "You.. hm, get paid." He says more or less to himself. "For me." He finishes his sentence, sitting properly on the couch now, feet on the floor, arms crossed.
"I mean.. yeah." You say, carefully. "You're gonna leave as soon as you're good to go, you know that." You say. "Would be kinda weird to start like, a friendship or stuff when your stay is limited down the line. I just wanna look out for you- and myself too. Save us the hurt later on." You shrug, and at that, a lightbulb seems to blink out of nowhere over his head, as he looks at you.
"So you? Like me?" He asks, and you stammer an answer.
"Uh, no- like, yeah as a guy you're pretty cool but like I said-" You scramble for an explanation, but he just crawls back on the couch, over you, until he's got you practically pinned down beneath him.
"You like.. me." He says, as if it's a fact- and yeah, it is one. But it shouldn't be. "I like you." He offers. "I.. tried, hm.. Im-pressive- impress you!" He seems to think hard to make his words make sense, brain still a bit slow most of the time when he tries to talk. It shows by the way he still stutters, gets stuck on syllables or by the way his brows scrunch together in thought. "But you- dumb!" He scolds, pointing at your head.
"What the fuck- I'm not dumb!" You complain, and he laughs, sharp canine teeth showing.
"Yes!" He argues, though he seems to not mean it badly. "Really dumb!" He continues.
"Well at least I don't try to eat the local animal population!" You argue.
"But- offer!" He argues, tail puffed up and swaying around. "I need.. to impress! Hunt!" He complains.
"For what?" You laugh.
"You!" He whines loudly. "Mate, make mate- impress mate! You, so you- argh!" He growls out, and you can't help but laugh.
"Jungkook." You softly say, and he looks at you with a face looking like you just told him he has to sleep on the balcony outside. "You don't have to do that, you know? Just cause I take care of you, doesn't mean you.. have to like, be nice like that." You say, and at that, he huffs angrily to himself, tail all fluffy as the fur stands out to all ends in his growing frustration, his arms crossed.
"No.!" He argues. "Stupid!" He curses, getting up to walk into his bedroom, before he emerges back out with some papers in his hand, and red ears as he slaps them on the couch, fleeing the scene right after before slamming the door shut, and locking the door.
And on your couch are two papers, one of them having writing on both sides- the handwriting sloppy and crooked, but readable. And while some sentences don't make sense, it seems like he's tried to take his time and write down what he can't say, at the moment.
'Kitty is stupid' is written on top of the first paper, and you scoff to yourself. 'Kitty doesn't get it.' it reads further.
'I want cry. I catch her prey, I offer it, and she give away to man downstairs. Man downstairs can't even hunt at all, keeps stupid bird in a cage but doesn't ever eat it. Who keeps food alive in home? Why she likes him I don't know- he stupid, just like her. But I like her. Maybe I can teach her one day. But what if she hunt for her then? No, I want to do that.'
'I want to show that I can be good partner. I learned to cook with human foods! She likes food, likes eating. I like eating too, so we eat together often. Then we hug, and she scratches my head. I like that. She's warm.'
'Maybe she doesn't like me. Doesn't like my kind. Doesn't want my kind. Or me. Just me? Maybe just me. I'm the problem. She doesn't want me.'
You turn the page around. It's written with a different pen- probably written on a different day.
'She likes me. I know she do.'
'I made nest for her, today, and she smiled. Smiled happy, cute, like kitty-toys on her bed. Has cheeks round just like them. Soft, too. She is soft. Body soft. I like holding her often. I like holding her in nest I made. And she hugged me, too. Let me hold her instead. Normal, she hold me. But this time, I hold her. I want to hold her more from now. She can be held anytime she want. She smells nice too. Smells best when happy, and after shower.'
You chuckle as you remember that day. It had been raining, you'd gotten caught up in it on the way home from grocery shopping, and after putting all things away and showering, Jungkook had waited on the couch for you, blankets from his bed placed on it, his hand inviting you to sleep there with him. And you had simply accepted the offer-
After all, you didn't know what exactly he'd been trying to offer you with those pillows and blankets placed there. You were educated on his physical health and general behavior- not about courting rituals and how to spot if the Vrota you've been taking care of has developed a romantic interest in you. Why the hell would they teach that anyways? It's not like they are known to have a huge interest in humans.
If anything, they're typically looking down on humans.
You move the paper, and turn to the last one. There's not much written on it, but the sentences are clearer, showing how his health had started to increase again, brain starting to work better these days. They're not perfect, there's a lot scribbled out, but it's clear that it must've been written recently.
'I don't know if she enjoy my company as much as I do her. I know she gain money from taking care of me, but it feels like she also doing it because she care about me. Will she abandon me once I am healthy? Will she leave me once I recover? Will I forget her if I go back home? What if home is here now and not where home was? I don't want to go home anymore if she not there.'
'It's not home if she's not there. It's just a house, just a planet, just a place. But I want home. I want to be her home. I want us to be each other home.'
Can you even be a home? You haven't at all planned any further than up until he's healthy enough to go back home. You've got no clue what to really do after he leaves- so what the hell are you supposed to do now? A relationship with him would be perfectly legal, sure, but he's also only got a Visa for his earth-stay up until he's healthy enough to return to his home planet, once they've gotten their whole pandemic situation back under control. You don't know what to do now.
Maybe you really are stupid, like he says.
So you decide to be even more stupid, as you take a small post it note from your kitchen, and write down a single sentence, before you slide the little note under his bedroom door.
And as he reads it, his eyes become wide, while his fingers clench the pastel pink paper.
'I want to be your home, too.'
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WBITA if i told my mom to stop watching kdramas and get off the internet.
I [20F] have been increasingly frustrated with my mother [44F] for a very stupid and hypocritical reason. We're pretty close, with her mostly raising me on my own and all that, but we're very different people and often clash on a lot of things. Despite that, I like hanging out with her and telling her about stuff and vice versa. She also works from home, so we're around each other very often since I don't work rn.
The problem is that for the last month or so she's gotten very into kdramas and youtube summaries of manhwas and all that. I am not trying nor claiming to be a mental healthcare professional, but I am 99% sure she has some type of undiaognosed autism (like once she told me that for most of her life she didnt how to show or feel emotion and she would copy other people arround her and we had an argument about how that is Not The Common Human Experience. Among other things she's a neat freak, blunt, has told me before that she has very bad intrusive thoughts and so on) . This is relevant bc another one of her quirks is that she can become obsessive with something Very Easily. She cannot help herself from bingwatching shows, speedreading through books, She Has To Finish A Task Before Anything Else In This One Specific Order. This is serious, she geniunely gets angry or frustrated about any sort of interruption. Normally this is fine for me to work around, but the reason I am here with this ask is bc it's gotten worse.
Every time I go and try to talk to her, she's got her headphones on, watching a manhwa video (her headphones are bad bc they're work headphones so I can hear what she's listening to). 90% of the time I interrupt her, she does the biggest sigh, fixes me with a dead stare, and acts dimissive. At night, where she would usually hangout in the living room watching idle TV, she now goes straight to her room to watch kdrama's in bed, and her room is where she works from too. The latest development is that she's stopped eating in the livingroom during her work breaks too, which was the one time of day I could hang out with her while she's on the clock. She instead asks me to bring her food to her room and once again, on her personal laptop, watching manhwa summaries.
This, on top of my own personal declining mental health and the fact that sometimes I feel like our roles are reversed (I do any chore she asks me around the house, I cook for the entire house, I am the one sent to do grocery shopping etc while she goes out with her friends) I don't mind this usually, she is my mom, I am unemployed, and she does work a 9 to 5 even if it is from home. But now it stings a lot. The part that makes me think I am the asshole is the fact that the way she is acting right now is the exact same thing she used to scold me on before. "Take off those headphones, stop only hangin out in your room, notice the world around you" and I am still a bit like that. But I feel like I've changed. I finished highschool during the pandemic and quarantine and it fucked me up, not having the strongest friendships irl since I live in a fairly conservative country and I am very outwardly queer and stuff. But I've made an effort to start talking to her, to hang out with her, to help around the house. I was and still half am in the same behavioral pattern she is in right now, but I feel like I've made the effort to not wear headphones so often so I can hear if she calls me, to leave the door to my room open etc. It feels like minor things, ik.
I will also say, while I spend a lot of time online and on my phone/laptop, I do a diversity of things. I draw, I watch youtube videos, I talk and play games with my friends, I read, etc. Things I don't mind pausing. My mom, all she does, is ocasionally scroll through instagram, respond to messages, and watch youtube manhwa summaries. It is all that she does. And she acts like I've come in yelling during one of her meetings every time I interrupt her.
The problem here is, I am afraid that if I bring this up with her, that I will find out the change in behaviour I think I made would be invisible to her and that I would be the biggest hypocrite. And I do not want another yelling match as we have had several in the past on similar subjects, where I think I've changed but she doesn't.
Another one, it seems to make her happy. She laughs, and seems to be geniunely invested. Her new workplace is stressful and the work that she has to do is complicated, and I am glad she's found something to destress her and again. I do the same thing, I hole myself up in my room and spend time alone, why am I now mad at her for doing the exact same thing, right? But she's stopped listening to me. I tell her about things, she dismisses me bc she was in the middle of a video, and then comes calling for me because "Why haven't you done x y z Why is x y z here Why are we missing x y z" despite me having told her. I've suggested to her to watch some longer youtube videos together, which is usually our bonding method, and she'll agree. How that usually went was that I would wait until she called me since its her schedule we work around or that I pop into the living room and her seeing me would remind her. Now, again, she barely leaves her room. She just watches those videos and those shows. Nothing else. Works, sends out the roomba to vaccum every day, either gets her own food or yells for me to do it for her, and thats it. Checks on her plants maybe, does one or two chores that I haven't done. Back to her manhwas.
So , WIBTA if I confronted her about this and told her to stop? It risks another yelling match between us, it is hypocritical of me to do so bc I am the same. I am not gonna pretend I don't also become a hermit and hole myself up in my room. But idk. And it seems to be a geniune interest for her and it makes me happy, even tho in this whole situation I feel abandoned by my mother. Which sounds very stupid and dramatic but. Oh well.
What are these acronyms?
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In your post you mentioned Makoto having the despair disease, could you expand more on how he would act please?
Sure! So, his variation of the despair disease is the Defeatist Disease. I was imagining it manifesting in mostly petty ways. (I've read fanfiction where he assists in a murder under the effects of despair disease, but I felt like going another way with it.)
Things like, someone plugs something in, and he immediately unplugs it. Someone places an object on a surface, he knocks it off or places it on a different surface or hides it when they're not looking.
(Someone tells Ibuki to get some rest, and he chimes in, "Do a flip!")
But like I said, the overarching thing is that he just undermines anything the group holds to be helpful/useful/important. This includes sabotaging his own health by not eating and breaking quarantine to try to go to the motel (making it a regular thing that his caretakers have to make sure he hasn't left his room).
I like to think Hajime or Fuyuhiko tries reverse psychology, like, "Hey, Makoto! We actually want you to leave the room."
And Makoto's just like, "No, that's wrong. If you did, you wouldn't keep trying to stop me."
Fuyuhiko grumbles, "Of course, that part of him had to stay the same."
Maybe his skills at debate take on a more devil's-advocate vibe, where anyone who discusses anything with him has to defend why they don't want the disease to spread, why they don't want the killing game to continue, etc. It would be creepy, and in a way it is, but I also imagine that he's perpetually overexerted and exhausted, since the disease symptoms won't let him rest or take care of himself, so it's more like people sternly reminding him of what his uninfected self said two days ago while he makes sweaty, winded counterarguments while swaying on his feet. He tries to avoid being taken to bed, up to the point where he passes out and gets carried back. His fever is terrible.
Maybe, when Mikan gets the remembering disease, she tries at first to kill him, since she remembers his role in the whole Junko situation, but he just...trips her. And leaves. And then he's missing from the hospital and everyone's like "Oh no, Makoto broke quarantine! He could be anywhere!" and Mikan plots a different murder instead.
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When will you update the new chapter for Left in Lincoln? I love it so much!!!
[ref: Left in Lincoln (dark!dbf x virgin) ] Thank you so much! It's not ready yet and I can't answer that, unfortunately. This is of course my own doing by having a cuckfest for nearly two weeks and planning to finish the chapter this weekend which did not go as planned IRL-wise. I love you so much and thank you for reading this series! I always want to give it my best self so I don't write it haphazardly here and there like I do everything else (except planned series) and have to be in a certain headspace.
Cucking Digest
May 2 - 14
Everything I've cucked Lincoln with since the last chapter. I used to cuck Silence has never been bought, too. That's how Night Walks was born to begin with.
The Regulars
Stepdad!Joel 4x: All Recipes / Halloween drabble / Hypothetically baiting him / Hypothetically he fucks your mom
Night Walks!Joel in two different decades: (2018) Night Drives (sketch uber driver) / Night Walks 6: Morning After
Trouble!Joel who came out of cryo just to cuck Lincoln: Halloween one-shot drabble
Free Use!Joel: Bail run (asleep) - consensual somnophilia
Thighs Out!Joel: at the beach (300) - exhibitionism
Raider!Joel: Hypothetical about mounting him when you're both captive but only he's in restraints (800)
Closure to old ones
Patrol: Follow-up with virginity loss.
Peeping tom!Joel: Follow-up where he fucks the reader next door
The breeding couple I claimed I wasn't going to write again but now they're pregnant (Mother's day special).
One-offs or new ones
Lazaretto: You and Joel are in quarantine and the anti-fungal fog has a side effect of making him need to fuck you. (noncon via sex pollen)
Masseur!Joel: Joel is trying to act professional. Reader pressures him and things heat up, then she walks in on him jacking off right after their visit.
Vax Breeder!Joel: You're voluntarily inseminated for cordyceps vaccine research, the old fashioned way by Joel, to your delight.
slasher!Joel: You narrowly avoid being serial killed and fuck for your life, although you were already DTF before you realized he was bad.
How did I write so much in two weeks? Well, it looks like even more than it is because some of these were already WIPs and some are just drabbles, but still, answer Here.
Anyway, I'm the worst, but I love you and appreciate your patience!
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There's a handful of reasons I relate to Wylan so strongly, but one of them has to be the unique experience of being an illiterate adult.
A few years ago, right before the pandemic, I moved across the world to work in a country where I didn't speak the main language. None of the languages commonly spoken in my new home uses the Latin alphabet so attempting to read and pronounce any letters/words in an unfamiliar writing system has been difficult.
Just don't be ignorant, you might think. Learn the language! For the record, I did. Well, I started to, but then the pandemic hit. My language class stopped and strict quarantines limited opportunities to practice. Two years and two babies later the world opened back up. Work and my tiny dictators, I mean, toddlers have kept me too busy to throw myself into learning the language with the gusto I once had. But over the years I've learned enough to get by with basic pleasantries: hello, goodbye, thank you, yes, no. Numbers 1-10. And how to order food at a restaurant. "How are you?" "Good." Unfortunately, that’s the limited extent of my conversational abilities.
The alphabet still trips me up and I often feel like a kindergartner slowly stringing syllables together and incorrectly sounding out words. Plus, there's the bonus of pronouncing the words but still not knowing they actually mean.
So I relate to Wylan a little bit in having to navigate the world at a disadvantage, one he cannot fully understand. Luckily for Wylan he can speak even though he can’t read, which gives him more coping strategies than are available to me. But you don’t realize just how much is written, especially in the modern world, until you are unable to read it.
Being an illiterate adult is a humbling experience. I cannot emphasize that enough. Book Wylan is a teenager, but was thrown into the “real world” and left to fend for himself as if he were an adult. Show Wylan is an illiterate adult who was also more or less thrown into the wild world. And I’d like to imagine that he shares similar illiterate adult encounters and experiences with me.
There isn’t a moment that I forget that I can’t read the language around me. However, it’s very easy to tune out the writing. To be blind to it and not see signs or labels because my brain stops looking for them, unable to to understand them.
Getting lost. Knowing the name of the place, a building, an address, the street that I'm searching for, but not being able to locate it by sight even though it is right there.
Walking past shops and stores unable to read their name and wondering what’s inside. What do they sell? What business do they hold? There’s no way of knowing unless I go inside myself.
Shopping and buying items based on the image on the packaging. Trying to figure out if there’s any difference between two items. Occasionally guessing wrong, buying the wrong thing.
Need instructions? Written directions (like for cooking)? Lol, Guess I'm going to wing it and hope for the best.
Being unable to read a written menu and ordering something generic because the restaurant probably serves it.
Putting off chores that require using the skill I don't have.
Having to act overly polite to everyone (regardless of how I feel) because I am the inconvenience when everyone else is just living their normal life.
Being treated like a child because, in my inability to read, I have the skills of a child so people will treat me the same way they would a child. And worse, all the while still having to act so polite about it because again, I am the inconvenience, even though I am being spoken down to like a child.
Accidentally, unintentionally being rude because I can't follow the sign's directions.
Pretending that I can read (or speak). Sometimes nodding along and agreeing with without any context is easier than a admitting I don't have a clue what's happening.
And in the modern day... I rely heavily on my cell phone to translate the way Wylan would use speech to text features. And there are times when there's no cell service, the phone or app stop working correctly. The translations/transcriptions are imperfect and confusing. It's scary when those safety nets stop working.
So yeah, being an illiterate adult is quite the experience. It can be exhausting. I am incredibly lucky that in my case it's due to living in a multicultural world and that given the time and patience, I could became literate and fluent in another language. The entire experience gives quite the insight on the hurdles and experiences Wylan might face.
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OT4 (2) Masterlist
part one
a glimmer of hope that was starin’ at me - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor)
OT4, Michael/Luke
T, 7k
Summary: It’s difficult being in a relationship with three guys, and one of them hates you. On their one year anniversary, the four go to a cabin to celebrate. Luke knows that he has to make a decision soon. Things get messy, and then they’re okay again. Happy ending.
Ash is on the floor (ao3) - tinyglitterrose
M, 4k
Summary: "Are you hard?", Luke asked bluntly and immediately he had the attention of three australians.
Play it cool, just play if off, Ashton thought to himself, as if he was not panicking right now.
"No? What the fuck, Luke?", he tried to sound arrogant and even rolled his eyes at the blonde, but the other man wasn't having it.
"No, no, you're hard, I saw that", then he giggled, "You have a boner, Ashy, I saw it"
Ashton shook his head violently, but Calum interrupted him before he could object again: "Do you really?"
--- basically an Ashton centered foursome with plot.
A sweet kiss from your strawberry lips (ao3) - livefastdiehung
N/R, 1k
Summary: Luke’s lip gloss tastes like strawberries, he wants his boys to know it.
Banding - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias))
M, 3k
Summary: “Do you guys ever, like, wanna know what it feels like to get nutted in?”
do it better (ao3) - lourrygum
N/R, 8k
Summary: takes place during the time michael lost his passport and was stuck in the US while his band performed in the UK. He feels upset about it and stops answering their calls and may or may not unfollow them on twitter, leading to questions and anxiety.
or, ¾ of 5sos go to the US to see michael and end up fucking him senseless.
Fucking Jerks (ao3) - orphan_account
E, 37k
Summary: "Okay, who cums first loses, and owes a blowjob to the winner. Correct?" Calum raises his brows: "A blowjob now, huh?" "Well, a dish fit for a king," Michael replies.
Or: Ashton bids a Jerketition and who is Michael to refuse...? (Includes the winner+loser spin off)
i don't run away when your face says "achoo" - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor)
T, 2k
Summary: Ashton gets sick, and his boyfriends come to the rescue to take care of him.
i love the way you talk about me (ao3) - orphan_account
Calum/Ashton, OT4
N/R, 13k
Summary: “I want you to understand.” Ashton continues. His eyes and voice aren’t gentle anymore. “You’re here to service me. To service us. You are a fuck toy, and nothing more. You do as I say without complaint or hesitation. You know this, calum, and I expect you to behave. If I ask you to jump…”
“I ask you how high.” Calum says. His eyes are cast down, his cheeks filled with color. He’s upset Ash, he doesn’t deserve to look at him.
“Good. Finally did something right.” Ashton says.
or the one where Calum is a brat to his boyfriend, who decides that he’s going to make Calum sorry via his other two bandmates.
or the one where I hit rock bottom and write Ashton, Michael, and Luke fucking Calum into oblivion.
July (So Happy I Could Cry) (ao3) - valiantnerd (arareads)
T, 2k
Summary: Michael's boyfriends are dumb and far too in love with each other. They're also having a picnic.
Kisses For Everyone (ao3) - The_Lady
T, 1k
Summary: That blonde boy keeps kissing a bunch of different guys. Hallie’s getting a little worried for his boyfriend.
or ot4 from the pov of a girl who does not know they’re a polycule.
lucky are they (who live unaware) (ao3) - itsafuckingmess
T, 7k
Summary: The boys of One Direction may be a little dense sometimes, but they’re no idiots. They know something is up between the boys of the band that tours with them as a supportive act. They just don’t know what yet. | Or, alternatively, 5 times the One Direction boys didn't realise 5 Seconds of Summer were dating and 1 time it was blatantly, inexcusably obvious
makeup isn’t just for girls - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor)
T, 3k
Summary: During Quarantine, Luke takes up nail painting as a hobby. Eventually, he adds makeup too. When he’s with the boys again for tour, he comes clean about his new hobbies. Unfortunately, not all of his boyfriends are supportive.
Sick Day (ao3) - TylerM
G, 4k
Summary: The one where Ashton gets sick on the WWA tour and tries to keep it from his band, and fails miserably.
stumble through it all (ao3) - loafers
M, 18k
Summary: michael and calum decide not to break up when calum has to move away for school. it's both more complicated and simple than either expected.
the best thing that ever happened (ao3) - citiesbelow
E, 4k
Summary: “We were talking the other day and we realized that we pretty much only have any of this because of you,” Luke said, shrugging. “I mean, if you hadn’t decided to stop hating me and ask me to start a band instead, obviously we’d never have made friends, and Cal and I wouldn’t have been friends with each other either, and you were the one who knew Ash and asked him to join the band. And obviously we’ve all thought about that before, we’ve talked about it plenty, but we would never have been able to date each other either if not for you doing all of that back when we were kids, and we wanted to thank you. With sex,” he added, as if the context didn’t make that obvious.
OT4 anniversary sex in which they all spoil Michael as much as they can!
we fuck (and we fight) (ao3) - itsafuckingmess
E, 4k
Summary: It's been ten fucking minutes since Ashton finally put his health first and sat in their fucking bed to sleep his cold off and Luke and Calum are already amidst a spat that could easily lead to a heated argument.
And, frankly, it’s been ten minutes and Michael is already losing his temper.
with a feeling i’ll forget, i’m in love now (ao3) - orphan_account
M, 2k
Summary: Ashton had never really been nurtured in the way a child should be.
When his father had walked out on them at such a young age, Ashton had to step up and be the man of his house, helping bring in money and helping to raise his two younger siblings. He wasn’t unloved or treated unfairly by his mother, quite the opposite, but she had never had the time to coddle him the way he craved.
or, an Ashton-centric ot4
You look so restless and you’re so far from home (ao3) - antisocialhood
E, 5k
Summary: Luke expects drugs at Glastonbury Festival, lots and lots of drugs. He doesn’t expect to get a special behind the scenes tour.
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File: Raving Rabbids
SCP#: ARR
Code Name: The Chaos Rabits
Object Class: Joke/ Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ARR instances Found in the wild are to be captured by Mobile Task Force Hephaestus-2 "Rabit Hunters". On each mission they are to bring flash grenades and large screen devices to present memetic kill agents. After capture the SCP-ARR instances are to be contained in at Site-AB. They are to be given specialized goggles that constantly project memetic images into their eyes. The memetic images introduced are designed to slow the brains of SCP-ARR instances to weaken their chaotic impulses, they can now only eat and sit around.
The are all to be locked into a 50x50 meter containment cell containing nothing as the SCP-ARR instances require no other food than what is given and don't defecate. Foundation staff are to ender on a daily basis and feed a single block of protein every day, so they don't die of hunger. Any testing must first be approved by at least one Level 3 Researcher.
In the event of a containment breach, the entrance to SCP-ARR's containment area is to be reinforced with a nuclear blast shield door. There are hidden generators within the wall that will also activate to disrupt anomalous wavelengths weakening and hopefully completely nullifying the effects of anomalous tools and items. Anyone who tries to remove the goggles off of an SCP-ARR instance will be apprehended at once. If they are a spy they will be executed; if not, they demoted by a single level, there are no exceptions.
In the event SCP-ARR instances are found by MTF units or field agents within Nexus Point: The Wanderer's Library they are to be ignored and allowed apprehension by Group of Interest: The Serpents Hand or Entities of Interest: The Librarians. Any staff members that ignore this rule will be discarded by the Foundation and left to the mercy of the library, there are no exceptions.
Description: SCP-ARR is an unknown species of rabbits that seem to come from a different reality. They are humanoid in nature with thin white fur, large ears, large eyes, mouths, and stubby hands and legs with fingers. The only thing that has them resemble regular rabbits is their long ears that is signature to the species. They have the anomalous ability to speak though its mostly limited to gibberish that only barely resembles a language. Each SCP-ARR instance, though able to feel pain, are all immortal and indestructible in every sense. Crush them, burn them, shoot them, freeze them, pour chemicals on them, beat them, it doesn't matter they will survive anything and everything thrown at them.
SCP-ARR instances are extremely chaotic always enjoying causing mayhem and destruction wherever they go. SCP-ARR instances are also well known for stealing items to be used for their own self gain and often for things they were never meant to be used for. It's not uncommon for SCP-ARR instances in the wild to find lots of random junk and use it to build trash piles to act as homes or actually live in junk yards. SCP-ARR instances are not dangerous per say but they are quite hazardous in the chaos they cause and can unfortunately draw attention to the anomalous world.
SCP-ARR was discovered in 2006 and since then have been involved in several rampages in our world. Please see Addendum X-38 for details.
***
Addendum X-38
The following is a basic rundown of all the previous encounters with SCP-ARR.
2006 - In [data expunged] park, a group of SCP-ARR instances burst form the ground and start terrorizing park goers and eating their picnic lunch. They are accompanied by a large ape like monster with a metal helmet and metal rabbit ears on it. The Global Occult Coalition only barely manages quarantine the park and deploys troopers to exterminate all SCP-ARR instances. Unfortunately, they fail as the SCP-ARR instances are indestructible and thus are immune to their bullets, laser rifles, and rocket launchers. Though they were able to kill the ape like SCP-ARR instance by unknown means and to this day refuse to tell the Foundation. Supposedly there were other SCP-ARR instances that were killed the same way, but the GOC has yet to prove this.
Foundation agents were able to capture the few SCP-ARR that escaped the GOC's grasp and sent them to temporary containment at the nearest Foundation Area. Afterwards the GOC begrudgingly surrendered custody of the rest as they could not kill them all effectively. The cover story later established was that there was a bomb threat in the park which was later confirmed to be a hoax. Foundation deployed Class A Amnestics to those who witness the event and both organizations agreed to leave the FBI to apologize for all the civilians of their troubles. Since in the public's eye, this was a blunder of the local law enforcement.
2007 - A mall located in [data expunged] became overrun with SCP-ARR instances armed with plungers. The Foundation was able quarantine the area and hack into the TV's and speakers to emit memetic and audio kill agents. The kill agents were designed to make anyone who saw or heard them fall asleep even SCP-ARR instances. As such the resulting cleanup was rather easy.
Once the SCP-ARR instances were contained the people inside were given Class B Amnestics and told they were exposed to an anarchist attack. The official cover story is that some pranksters released smoke bombs into the ventilation of the mall, all of the bombs being filled with sleeping gas. It was also explained that the gas was made with hallucinogenic chemicals hence why some could barely remember sightings of chaotic humanoid rabbits attacking them with plungers.
2008 - within the city of [data expunged], SCP-ARR instances suddenly appeared on several TV channels and were able to alter what was being broadcasted that day. The Telecommunications Monitoring Office - Broadcasting division was able to shut it off after 2 hours of public exposure. Apparently, a single SCP-ARR instance was sleeping on a power pole's transformer and got electrocuted somehow transforming into several SCP-ARR instances that could exist in TV broadcasting frequencies. How this is possible is unknown.
The power pole's transformer was apprehended by the French division of the Foundation and sent to the nearest Foundation Area to be dismantled and incinerated, as everyone agreed this was the best course of action. It should be noted that this is the only time the Foundation has ever been able to kill a single SCP-ARR instance successfully. The cover story later presented to the public was that a hacker managed to infiltrate several channels and edit them with random presentations of strange humanoid rabbits.
2009 - SCP-ARR instances are found gathering trash in the [data expunged] garbage dump. They somehow manage to make a tower of trash so large it almost reaches the edge of the Troposphere. There were even reports of civilians having all of their close stolen from them and added to the pile for some reason. The Global Occult Coalition launched bombs into the junkyard and blew up the SCP-ARR instances. Though they didn't die they just floated in space and still somehow survived in the void. It took Space Task Fleet Apollo-1 several months to gather all the SCP-ARR instances.
The Cover story later given was that a group of junkies were experimenting with different chemicals in the junkyard. They were also messing with hallucinogenic drugs and often tested them on innocent bystanders, hence why the people attacked claimed they saw humanoid rabbits. Unfortunately, they also experimented with dangerous chemicals to create new drugs which led to a disastrous explosion and the complete annihilation of the junkyard.
2010 - A black 1949 Mercury car with flames painted on it manifested outside of Site-AB. Jackson Brown from Group of Interest: The Brown Family got out of the car and threw a washer machine at the entrance. It was connected to a damaged time traveling device and filled with four SCP-ARR instances. One was dressed like a Pirate, another a Pharaoh, another like a Viking, and the last was dressed as a Cowboy. He took the time travel device and demanded the Foundation staff deal with the SCP-ARR instances before things get worse. He then got back in his car and drove away before Foundation security could apprehend him or take the device from his custody. Instead, they just took the SCP-ARR instances and left the washing machine to be picked up later by the on-site trash collectors as it was worthless without the device.
2011 - [Data expunged by order of the Ethics Committe]. [Data expunged by order of the Ethics Committe]. [Data expunged by order of the Ethics Committe]. The Cows were later killed in an act of mercy, and it was agreed the incident must never be discussed again.
2012 - A portal manifests in the containment area where the SCP-ARR instances were being kept and 12 instances came out all wearing silly costumes. They started fighting on another and the disabled SCP-ARR instances like they were doing a wrestling competition of some kind. They were quickly sedated and added to containment.
***
From then on SCP-ARR instances were thankfully extremely rare, and increasingly easier to contain as time went on. There were even sightings within the Wanderer's Library which thankfully left it to Group of Interest: The Serpents Hand to deal with them. Still Foundation staff and MTF units are to be reminded that the threat of SCP-ARR instances isn't in how dangerous they are. It's how difficult it is to suppress the amount of exposure and chaos they unleash prior to containment. SCP-ARR is a good reminder that though Joke class anomalies are often ridiculous this in no way means ANY of them should be underestimated. At least, not until they can be properly utilized or neutralized by the Foundation.
.
SCP: Horror Movie Files Hub
#DZtheNerd#SCP: Horror Movie Files#SCP: HMF#SCP Foundation#SCP Fanfiction#SCP AU#SCP#Raving Rabbids#Non Horror#Comedy#Party Game#I hate Party Games#Video Game#The Global Occult Coalition#SCP-ARR#Site-AB#Joke#Keter
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Did PCJ and SH take COVID-19 protocols seriously? Because their behaviours showed the opposite.
PCJ and SH in People’s chat have pointed out how Covid protocols were followed, during the filming of Love Again (previous title Text for You) when PCJ was stranded in London with her husband to shoot the film in 2020.
In reality, there are some deviations from how PCJ and SH understood following the COVID-19 protocols, infringing the Covid restrictions. It's not the fault of the pandemic 😷 or the Government, and don't blame the virus for having irresponsible behaviour with actions that broke the UK COVID-19 rules and British Film Commission coronavirus guidance.
PCJ was reportedly in violation of the strict UK lockdown rules, to curb the rising number of Covid-19 cases. She was photographed visiting the salon alongside her mother and dog open privately to colouring her hair, saying it was for a film role. PCJ didn't say which film her mom would be in, to allow enter the salon with her.
The Met Police were alerted to reports of a Covid breach taking place within hairdressers. The regulations stated that ‘personal care services’, including salons and spas, should close. Hairdressers by law shouldn't have been opened, she should have been fined with the hairdressers. There are no excuses for her actions. No one is above the law— They thought they didn’t have to do the lockdown like the rest of us?
On the other hand, her co-protagonist SH has a history of breaking the law during the Covid-19 pandemic. At that time the reality regarding the COVID-19 pandemic was true and it was surprising to see SH and some cast of the film not knowing how to behave during this period and acting confused thinking that they were schoolmates in the playground at Lunch time. Why would the rules be any different for them?
Social distancing cost every production a fortune during the pandemic. Which was the result? You can't control what an actor (Covidiot) does at all times? Face covering and social distancing was required by COVID-19 Guidance: British Film Commission (BFC), especially in enclosed areas without adequate ventilation or where cast and crew are working closely. In a lockdown, Quarantining the cast and crew of a film or series was a key part of the plan.
His quarantine with loopholes. Outside the bubble, It was prohibited him from mixing with anyone from outside during filming or training.👇He broke the rules by not covering his mouth and nose without a face mask and taking photos with strangers 😷 “The rules applied to everyone and were put in place to keep people safe.” But, SH was not very careful. That sounds like he was determined to do as He, pleased. Was that one rule for him and another rule for everyone else?
SH’s actions were “totally indefensible” as people across the country made great sacrifices every day to help beat Covid. He openly branded himself a 'COVIDIOT' after regularly flouted government guidance during the coronavirus pandemic. So we could define it in another way: he was the perfect buffoon. SH never apologised for his mistakes and selfish behaviours.
This proves PCJ and SH things that they adopted to do for fun don't really seem fun anymore. Tired of them complaining about self-distancing in their sprawling jobs while a record number of Brits file for unemployment help. They are trying to save their skins to clean up actions and behaviours in their backyard and have used their platforms to do more than complaint about how hard it is to be rich in a plague, showing a different understanding of accepting Covid-19 protocols than the rest of us. His mask slipped, and his ugly truth was revealed. People’s chat, however well-intentioned, will not change that grim reality.
Either way, we must never forget the changes that the COVID-19 pandemic, an international public health emergency, brought to our society. They could not handle the pandemic like the rest of us, showing a selfish response when no one else could do such a thing. They will be remembered, and they will live with it, forgetting the essential…… Weren't We All In This Together?
COVIDIOT... (during the Covid-19 pandemic) a person failing to observe regulations or guidelines designed to prevent the spread of disease. 😷
"of course, some covidiots used this as an excuse to breach the rules"...👆
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Life Overview
It's been a while since I've used this deck and the spirit is rather shy so I did the Life Overview spread for myself for those who like to see before they try tarot!
Me
What potential exits in me now? To be honest, all the potential. Through a mix of good and bad life events (moving, changing jobs) I have a LOT of free time. I definitely am not sitting in the lap of luxury so that is about the only hindrance to the growth. But that being said there is a lot I can do without financial support, my main issue is just choosing a focus (it'sa AuDHD). I'm my own limit and my own roadblock (as usual). Trying to figure out what I want to focus on leads to a lot of reprioritizing and stuff gets thrown out. Currently, I'm still sorting through, creating and aborting projects as they come along.
Family
What have I learned from my visit to the underworld? Well, I have been in recovery of Borderline Personality Disorder for a few months and I'm only getting better. My therapist is extremely proud of the progress I am making. In her 15 years od doing therapy she has only cleared 3 people of being fully recovered from BPD and I intend to be the 4th! Being in the process of recovery has taught me so much. I know when a lot of people see stuff about people overcoming depression or any number of mental illnesses they think 'that can't be me, I'm unfixable' and for 20+ fucking awful miserable years my husband made me get my act together. Recovery feels BAD people. There is nothing glorious about being in your 20s having to fill out emotion charts and hygiene routines and food menus like a preschooler BUT IT WORKED. Now, I can't even remember the last major mood swing I had? it's been years since I last self harmed? I'm comfortable in my body and my friendships? I get along with my family?
And the part about the ancestors is right in light with ancestor month coming in November. I've been pretty hesitant to do ancestor work because of how little information I have, and my history with my relatives. I have been noticing my abusive dad's spirit's influence around and I am nervous about interacting with him spiritually (to be clear, not as a threat, I've asked my guides many times if he is a threat and no, they are filtering his interactions, but that obviously means that they want us to interact).
Friends
lord knows I have had some pretty tumultuous friendships in the past few years. I've been getting dreams about friends from ELEMENTARY school I used to roleplay sonic with and had messy fall outs with, like cmon that was 2 decades ago!! But they are all pointing to the same thing. I've had to cut so many people out, distance myself, it's taken a lot to be able to finally have a comfortable give and take with my friends :) No one is constantly begging me for money anymore, or getting jealous or competitive, we all build each other up and have vast interests and hobbies! during this quarantine after being trapped with my so-called-bestie and having that messy fallout, then being isolated in a new town, the wound has been slow to heal. But I'm at the point where I just don't give a fuck about any of the shit that happened anymore because it's not relevant now. I am definitely seeing my relationships in difference angles from this view.
Love
I think I'm more of the guide in this one lol as a poly marriaged person who has been dating for like 3 years with fucking zero zilch nada to show for it :'). Mostly people who get scared off when we set a single boundary or too immature in too many ways. Not that I haven't dated or had fun relationships but I haven't felt anything NEAR a connection like I have had with my husband even back when we were roomies. As an poly autistic person my platonic and romantic boundary is pretty blurry. Usually like first week of talking to a new friend I'm like damn do I have a romantic crush? Then I'm like nope just new person friend energy. Well it's been a few months and now I'm laying on the floor listening to mitski, hillary duff,and fob so you know they've been haunting my dreams and psyche🙄cringe right? my goofy ass downloaded pokemon go to catch some hearts, and now my husband is playing it with me so it's kinda of a win win either way LOL (hashtag poly life). and to think 7 years ago I was playing Pokemon Go with my roomie so we didn't have to go back to the apartment and deal with my cheating boyfriend and bedbugs.... now we are married 3 years with 4 cats and a mortgage <3 I could not be able to love like I do now without being shown what unconditional love truly with from my spouse <3
Career
Are theyre bonds I still have strong? Oh yes. This card directly correlates to what all my cards across many decks say when I ask them about career. They all talk about community, networks, friends, building things together. At first I interpreted this as 'rely on commissions to live' but now I see it is 'going to events and talking to irl people and bonding with them makes you a good customer to them and therefore they can be a good customer to you when you put yourself out there'. which is why I've been working on more tarot stuff!
Another interesting thing about this, with the second question asking if someone can help, I have been considering summoning an ancestor that owes me a LOT and having them to help clear a way for our business. A lot of this is also, a lot of life events happened so the other people who are part of the business are farther away but now we can actually visit each other so working together more is the key.
Although these cards did not appear next to each other I included the duality interpretation because I believe it is still relevant that they both showed up. I think a lot about my legacy since I am doing my part and ending my bloodline :). for me that means preparing for my future reincarnations. I have some ideas for spells I want to do before my death to ensure that my next incarnations have a best astral foot forward! I'm interested in this 'desire for the taboo'. For the two cards to be in the 'career' and 'friends' spot I assume maybe this has to do with the taboo of starting businesses with your friends (which we are doing). Also 'taboo' forms of career could also mean vending and tarot commissions since they are pretty frankly looked down upon as a legit business.
Interpretation:
Life is good! Lots of themes of coming out of darkness, seeing things from different views, and renewal, but not without points to focus on. Friends and Career seem to be my weakest links right now, which both revolve around me interacting socially which like you know how that goes. Lot of things are confirmed here (my crush, my ancestors reaching out, my career path). Looking forward to doing more readings with him!
->Like this spread and deck? Get a free reading from me! <-
#jan ken post#readingskh#tarot#tarot cards#tarot deck#tarot reading#divination#cartomancy#card divination#oracle deck#oracle reading#oracle cards#life overview tarot spread#life reading#life tarot reading
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smexy situations - headcanon
masterlist
prompt: different kinda sorta roleplay related scenarios with your girlfriend.
includes: billie dean howard, lana winters, cordelia goode, sally mckenna, ally mayfair-richards, wilhemina venable, diane sherman, alice macray, tammy, and xandra terrell.
☆ billie dean howard ☆
sugar mama !
• billie buys you special lingerie whenever she plans to take you to an event, sort of a signal of the roles taking place
• "spin around for me. i wanna see all of you."
• she'll pick out your clothes (or have stylists do so if it's an award show)
• opens doors and orders your meals/drinks (somehow she always knows what you want)
• the look in her eyes- immediate gay panic
• always a fun evening filled with dirty talk, explicit praise, and light degradation whispered in your ear (more than the usual)
• a night where she consistently tries to make you stammer/blush
• "Who owns you?"
☆ lana winters ☆
artist + muse
• idk why i picture lana banana painting (like i said in the quarantine headcanon)
• i see her dabbling in watercolors or charcoal drawing, something loose to take her mind off of writers block
• it transforms from a pastime to a hobby
• she moves from landscape to still life to figure drawing
• who better to study than you, her beloved girlfriend??
• she's a bit shy asking you to pose, only because she's a perfectionist and she'd want you to like her work
• but this is lana mf winters so when she gets the nerves over with she asks you to strip and lay on the couch so she can loosely drape a sheet over you
• studying your form soon turns to admiring your figure and quickly leads to hands on exploration- in the name of art of course...
famous author + fan
• AU where your gf is a romance/fiction writer
• despite writing countless interactions this version of lana is quite the introvert so she has you accompany her to writing conventions
• you always have her sign a book for you to commemorate each event
• slip each other flirty notes when you pass her booth throughout the day
• the woman loves compliments and you lay it on thick at each event (signings, meet and greet, wine and cheese, lunch, dinner and dancing)
• obviously fans and other writers hit on her but because she's so private they don't know she has a partner
• you act like one of them before you eventually get to retire to your shared hotel room for the weekend with your favorite author
☆ cordelia goode ☆
head mistress + teacher/student
• she didn't know being addressed as miss/mistress/ma'am was a turn on but here we are
• classic 'punishment' for your work not meeting her standards (just for fun because you'd never dissapoint your supreme)
• or a reward for work well done
☆ sally mckenna ☆
strangers at a bar
• she uses all her best pick up lines
• loves when you play hard to get
• "Make me really work for what i already have."
• the pride she feels when you turn someone else down
(hotel) maid + guest
• oh no! you came to tidy the room and she's laying naked on the bed what ever will you do
• she goes absolutely feral for the maid costume and it's equally as satisfying when she puts it on
☆ ally mayfair-richards ☆
nanny + parent
• starts as a joke after a day of babysitting Oz
Ally: "Thank you for keeping an eye on him, honey."
Y/n: "It's no problem."
Ally: "His camp starts next week so he'll be off during the day."
Y/n: "I really don't mind. You owe me, though."
Ally: "Do I?"
Y/n: "Would you like to know my going rate, Ms.Mayfair?"
Ally: *smirks* "Ms.Mayfair?"
Y/n: "Mhm."
Ally: "Uh huh...what would you like in return for your services?"
☆ wilhemina venable ☆
boss + secretary ?
• starts as a way to tease her
• you hand deliver her mail to her home office...then a snack, then tea, then lunch, and linger a bit wanting some attention
Y/N: "Your afternoon tea, Miss Venable."
MINA: *smirks but doesn't look up* "You don't work for me anymore, you know."
Y/N: "Force of habit." *takes a seat*
MINA: "You're leering."
Y/N: "Admiring."
MINA: "Mhm..." *continues to type*
Y/N: *continues to stare*
MINA: "No."
Y/N: "I didn't even say anything!"
MINA: "We're not having sex on my desk. My desk is for work."
Y/N: "But you're not working right here..." *points to empty spot on the desk*
MINA: *looks at spot for a long time* "Not happening."
• you tried and that's all that matters
monarch/royalty + servant/bather
• her medieval time period books are a comfort so this feels the same for her
• when Mina has a rough day (emotionally or work related) she likes to be taken care of
• instead of closing herself off completely she sheds her clothes along with the days problems and let's you pamper her
• the roles allow her to put some distance between the weight of her emotions and fill the space with intimacy instead
• when she's finally unwinded and you're turning in for the night she may say what's wrong or a simple (yet meaningful) thank you
☆ diane sherman ☆
repairman/handyman + home owner
• happens when you're renovating your garden/yard together
• planting flowers/pulling weeds, laying out gravel/flat stones for the walkway, repainting the benches, hanging fairy lights
• sure she helps but she often stops just to watch you
• she cheekily asks "how will i ever repay you for your hard work?"
• when you laugh she continues with the cheesy porno lines "i have no money but i'm sure there's other ways i could show my appreciation?"
• *bats her eyelashes and unclips the top of her overalls*
• leads you to the shower to get all cleaned up
• make out in between? yes. although naked time sounds nice, she wants you to relax~
• fav dinner and fav movie and maybe a little more making out and lowkey grinding on the couch with your fav (non-kidnapper) gf
☆ alice macray ☆
the stars of your favorite movie/book
• the price of salt was a guilty pleasure book for Alice while discovering herself
• she admired and disliked parts of Carol and Therese for not only what she saw in herself but also how she wanted to be, what she wanted in her life
• it was a dream of hers to road trip with her lover like her beloved characters
• embodying Carol's class and sugar mommy energy as an almost alter ego with you makes her feel sensual, powerful...h word...
• long drives, stopping to eat in little diners, exchanging gifts, then glorious merry christmas and happy new year sex in a cute little hotel
• (all without a husband/divorce/custody battle/being stalked and recorded/a breakup!!)
☆ tammy ☆
yoga instructor
• your girlfriend always tries to get you to do yoga with her
• she'll put on an incredibly flattering sports bra and spandex set, make smoothies, and lay out two mats
• takes a very hands on approach to guiding you into proper form for each position
• turns your hips, pushes you lower, bends your legs a little farther, runs her hand down your back
• activates praise kink: "just like that" "perfect" "there you go, honey"
one shot version
jock + nerd
• starts as a couples costume reminiscent of your relationship in high school
• tammy puts her hair in a high ponytail and wears a volleyball jersey, short shorts, and knee high socks
• you wear a classic (but lowkey hot) nerd costume
• tam tam keeps up the roles as she leads you by your clip on tie to go make out in one of the spare bedrooms during Loubbie's party
☆ xandra terrell ☆
customer + bartender
• she loves when you come in on nights she's working late
• pretend you're a random customer like the other men and women fawning over her
• she makes sure to let you peek down her blouse when she leans over the counter to flirt with you
• will write dirty/flirty/sweet notes on the napkins delivered with your drinks depending on her mood
pool cleaner + housewife
• her actively trying to distract you while you tend to the pool
• she really leans into the cliches of this dynamic
• coyly asks you to apply her sunscreen
• brings you fresh lemonade
• tells you to keep quiet while she dips her hand in your shorts
• "wouldn't want the neighbors to hear, would you?"
#sarah paulson#x reader#american horror story#ahs murder house#billie dean howard#cordelia goode#ahs asylum#lana winters#ahs coven#cordelia foxx#sally mckenna#ahs hotel#ally mayfair richards#ahs cult#ahs apocalypse#wilhemina venable#alice macray#mrs america#tammy#ocean’s eight#xandra terrell
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I am currently hooked on Past-senger. I don't know how possibly may have a happy ending but I am enjoying its lightness and humor. Did you notice Bamee house is the house of Tonhon in TonhonChonlatee?
I have tried Love syndrome III because I like its protagonists but it's terrible. How can the acting be that bad? I know from other series they are not that bad.
How the Koreans manage to give us such a steady string of wonderful stories such as Unintentional love story and The eighth sense? They always leave me with a nice aftertaste I don't get anywhere else.
Anon, Taiwanese BLs are my favorite, but I appreciate Thai QLs because so many are produced compared to the ZERO I've gotten from Taiwan in 2023. ZERO! The last BL Taiwan offered was HIStory 5: Love in the Future, which shared the time travel theme with Past-Senger, and as much as I love Taiwanese BLs and the HIStory franchise, I think Past-Senger did a better job with it.
Quantity does not equal quality, so Thailand having over fifty QLs a year doesn't necessarily equate to great stories or production value, but, much like Vietnamese and Filipino QLs, there is always a solid foundation with some heart at its core. Also, Thai series are easily available, for free. I haven't nor will I watch Love Syndrome III because I will hate it, and not in a fun hate-watch way, but some who watched it liked it because that's the beauty of variety; we have more to pick from based on what we like and there is something for everyone.
Past-Senger, with its Tonhon Chonlatee house, has its issues, and there are plenty including spotty sound, a clumsy final quarter, and odd pacing, but as you mentioned, it does humor well, and it takes the time-traveling aspect seriously compared to HIStory 5. When Kiew lands in the future, he is constantly reminded that he is out of place and not meant to be there, while HIStory 5 spent the first episode on that idea, then quickly moved along.
Korea tends to go back to the past (Tinted With You and Once Again) or for reincarnation (First Love Again and The Director Who Buys Me Dinner), but there is always in underlying melancholy to these since the narrative makes it clear these are "right person, wrong time" stories. Korea loves a time skip like Japan loves to make its guys run. But the issue most people as well as I have with Korean BLs is they are too short to properly develop the plot, the characters, and the resolution. For me, something is always rushed or lacking.
Yet Our Dating Sim has done the best "left him because I love him" plot out of all the QLs I've watched, and I think Star Struck might do well with it also. Both also demonstrate the Korean staple of "right person, wrong time" with time jumps that I just complained about, yet they are done well here.
As much as I stay rooting for Taiwan, I appreciate a range of queer media because every show is doing something different; therefore, each show has the possibility of doing it better.
Gameboys and Hello, Stranger, both Filipino offerings, gave us love stories about the pandemic DURING the pandemic, but unlike my Taiwanese See You After Quarantine?, I feel like some dismissed them simply because they were Filipino even though Gameboys was one of the biggest BLs of 2020 with its mask-off scene.
I have trash taste. I didn't like Bad Buddy overall and I have intentionally never watched a MAME series, so you don't have to trust one word I wrote here, but all of this is really to tell you that as great as Korean dramas are, I encourage you to continue dabbling in other countries' offerings every now and then. I'm a HIStory 4: Close to Me whore first, and a human second, but I loved being surprised by how Bed Friends handled healing from trauma through a sexual relationship, how Moonlight Chicken presented generational and economic differences through a queer lens, and how Kabe Koji and My Beautiful Man showed how distorted views of self-worth can drastically harm the people who love us.
Gems are everywhere. We just have to be willing to shuffle through some dirt to find them. Consider Love Syndrome III your dirt, but perhaps a Mame series will be your gem.
#I like my queer media anyway I get it!#I love the variety!#I love a good hate watch too!#history 5: love in the future#past senger#hello stranger#gameboys the series
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six recent song favorites!
thank you for the tag @sillsif. i listen to music that exclusively falls into either one of two categories: (a) silly or (b) devastating. i think my selection here pretty accurately reflects that. also i have bad taste but it's perfect to me. ok in no particular order:
ditto - newjeans: my brother is trying to indoctrinate me to newjeansism and it's working. this music video is SUPER well-done and interesting, a lot of thought is put into their concepts and videos. and they're just the cutest girls in the world! also i like this more than omg but omg IS iconic.
Stay in the middle
Like you a little, don't want no riddle
Say it, say it back, oh, say it ditto
i need u - tnx: i got into tnx last year in a 3-day long frenzy when i had covid and was in quarantine, i really like them! i think they're very talented and have an appealing overall group dynamic. this song is very different from their debut song but i like the sound of it a lot, it feels very boyband-y. some of the lyrics are kind of silly lol
Waking up and falling asleep to your warmth that still remains
We were meant to be
We had the right chemistry
Hope this wasn't a one-sided story of a hopeless romantic
devil by the window - tomorrow x together: my fav off the new album <3 my brother described it as evil dove cameron-esque tiktok music and i'm okay with that. overall, i really like this album and their concept for this era. with every new album i get a new favorite txt b-side (though i think opening sequence still remains on top for me).
I met the devil by the window
Traded my life
Temptation touched my tongue
Spread the wings of desire
animal - jinyoung: PARK JINYOUNG I AM YOUR FAN FOREVER! i really love this album and i'm grateful that jinyoung decided to continue making music because i lowkey expected him to just go full-time acting. i like that this song is a sad balland, jinyoung has such a pretty and emotive voice.
Close the curtains and come back to bed
Close your eyes and ask for a dream
Sins grow and become thorns
No matter how much I hid it, I couldn't hide it
waiting room - phoebe bridgers: it's my villain origin story that they took this off of spotify. the structure of this song is pretty simplistic and there's minimal lyrics, but god. it's just raw yearning in this bittersweet and haunting way. this is on my palmnueng playlist.
I wanna be the broken love song that feeds your misery
And I can wish all that I want, but it won't bring us together
Plus I know whatever happens to me, I know it's for the better
when - dodie: specifically, the version she performed during her tiny desk set (which i linked and would highly recommend watching the whole thing). she first released this song through youtube when i was around 14, now i'm almost 21. dodie is one of those artists who has gotten me through a very specific part of my youth. the way this song and the arrangement has evolved over the years is really beautiful. i'm glad she continues to perform it.
I'm sick of faking diary entries
Got to get it in my head
I’ll never be sixteen again
I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love
Oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when
tagging: @petrichoraline @soundgun @chinzhillababy @ashedddaisy and anyone else who'd like to do it! thank you for reading if you did.
#i was like hm maybe this won't all be kpop#shoutout to the msp osts flooding my spotify on repeat playlist but you all already know......#tag game#mint talks
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To be onsest, despite everything I have said so far, I don`t think that it would fit Mias and or Ethans character to look past the mold to see the lonely and cofused child that hides behind the mask. They are just to hateful and impulsive for that.
I personaly think she woulld need a compleatly different person to redem her. Characters that are known for their kindness and epathy towards even the cruelest persons. Maye a specific Oc or even characters from a compleatly different fandom.
I personally have two scenarios in mind that would also make for some great webcomis or fanfictions:
An Undertale crossover were Eveline (in her child form) falls into the underground instead of Frisk. It would be interesting to see her interactions with Flowey and Toriel. Espacialy Toriel since she is also lonely and wants a child of her own. It would be interesting to see how much her influence would change the underground and the main story in general. I would also love to see her interactions with Papyrus and all the other characters, espacialy her diologs with Flowey, who would be trying to manipulate her. Beeing torn between what´s right and what´s wrong could be an interesting struggle for her. Maybe her soul would have some special propertise that she could use. I would also be curios to see how the monsters would interpret their findings when anilizing her body , genes and internal parts. Maybe she would also free the monsters like Frisk did and if not I would love to know how much she would alter this place.
A story were Eveline meets SCP-999. You know that cute orange slime creature that just wants to hug, tickle and make everyone happy. Its also known to cure depression and comfort people that are lonely and or sad. You get the idea. I mean she would be irritaded at first but since she can`t kill it, It would probably become her friend or pet. It would act like a dog and It would alsways be willing to play with her. I mean it would try to help her but at the same time protect everyone who she is trying to harm. So who knows how it would play out.
Ps: I dearly apologize in case I have been anoying you with these long questions lately.
Yeah, but that's part of the fun with AU stuff. Like, realistically they probably wouldn't, but what if they did anyway, y'know? (Granted you're talking to someone who's whole blog is basically just Mia x Alcina AU content)
I don't know much about SCP 999 but the idea of Eveline being stuck with this slime ball for a friend is kind of funny. "Aggressive child slowly learns to love through the unconditional love of a pet" is kind of cute tbh, I just don't know enough to have a full input on it.
Makes me think a scenario where SCP and Resident Evil are in the same universe, too, and instead of Blue Umbrella coming to kill Evie, the SCP Foundation shows up to capture her instead (but also the Baker house would probably be considered a secondary part of her, and the people inside a third, so I don't know if they'd take her from the location or just heavily quarantine it off. Since Eveline doesn't do anything unless someone steps on the property anyway. Unfortunately this also means nobody who goes on it leaves but y'know.)
The Undertale AU is neat too, I'm just... Not that big into Undertale anymore pfff. Just... Given how Eveline is, I don't even know if she would leave Toriel's house. Assuming all this happens the same kind way, Eveline would get saved by Toriel, taken through the entrance to the Underground, and the probably just vibe when she basically claims Evie as her own. Cause that's pretty much all Evie wants.
Frisk left because they wanted to go home. Unless Eveline has someone she's trying to go back to, I think she'd be more like Chara and just sort of hang out with Toriel.
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A not-so-simple relocation, day 0/1.
This month has been the longest year of my life.
I'm typing this from Norway!
ALT: A beautiful sunset from one of my balconies.
Issun and Zoan (my cats) are settling in. There was a lot of concern with Zoan, as he just didn't eat for the first four days and Issun had been heavily bullying him. The bullying part is still present at this point (although less than it was before), at least my cats are all eating now and acting fairly close to normal. But, I'm getting ahead of myself, let's go back to Day 0/1
Day 0/1
Things went better than feared! The Milwaukee airport TSA was staffed by cat lovers, so they immediately volunteered a private searching area for Issun and Zoan.
Things went worse than expected! We had all sorts of issues with our flights and bags. At said airport, all but one of my bags was overweight (even though I weighted them with a luggage scale before), causing some jumbling around of things and one of my friends carrying a large quantity of plates in his bag. This came around to bite him, since it flagged something at the TSA security point when we went through and had an "enhanced" search. That's fine though, another one of my friends didn't realize that I keep All The Electronics (tm) in my carry-on bags and went through FOUR TIMES to search everything. The third of my friends was fine for that part, but he had bunch of screwups with his flight schedule (my fault), but the attempts to make it work cost a crapton of money and still didn't fix it correctly.
On top of that, we also had one flight run late in departure (which caused said friend with the messed up schedule to miss his flight, rebooking him to the one AFTER the rest of us), Zoan threw up in his carrier on the intercontinental flight (poor kitty)... and then there was Oslo.
The sheer chaos of Oslo
For reference, Oslo is the capital of Norway, and also only one of two entry points to the country that have veterinarians on staff to check out paperwork for incoming cats. The other two aren't airports, so this is basically the only city I was allowed to fly into to hit customs for my cats.
We flew in late and had a long line at the passport check. Once through passport check, I called the vet on call to let her know that I was on my way to customs. I asked someone where I should go next, and they told me that I should go to the domestic transfer section, which had me re-go through airport security.
Started putting my things in bins, moving around stuff because I have All The Electronics (tm) in checked bags, prepped my cats, and asked where I should go after this to hit customs for my cats. Turns out, this was the way to go while bypassing customs entirely and I was in the wrong place. Not only would that have meant illegally importing my kitties into Norway (which would be very much illegal), but also completely skipping all forms of customs entirely! Don't worry, that last part comes up again later.
After recombobulating all of my things and finding my way through the inevitable duty-free shop in the airport, I finally reached customs with a poor bored veterinarian waiting for me. She booped both bags and then stated that I was the first person to actually get the paperwork right in "a long time" - apparently she had to send several kitties to quarantine in the past week because of people either royally screwing up paperwork or just not bothering with any at all. Like, what? I had seven or eight different notices about this when I booked my flights with cats, how did someone not notice?
Anyway, that put us in the main Oslo customs line after, for which the vet told me to tell them that we just had the cats scanned and were heading on to Bergen (where I'd hit customs there). They waved us through and we were in the domestic side of the Oslo airport. We had to go back through security again at this point, taking Issun and Zoan out of their carriers to get across, one of my friends getting a few new piercings on his shoulder for carrying Issun, and finally made it to the gate.
Arriving in Bergen, we get brought to the baggage area. Two things are immediately apparent:
We can't reach customs because we were on a domestic flight.
We are missing bags. A lot of bags.
Keep in mind, I had eleven total checked bags across three four people (thanks @kriatyrr, who is over my left shoulder). The number that arrived? Three. All assigned to same person. When we went to the baggage office to report lost bags, the person behind the counter was super nice, went through the paperwork, and left me with the quote of the journey:
"Oslo needs to get their shit together on Sundays."
She pointed to the area around her, which had multiple dozens of bags waiting for couriers. My flight was missing over half of its bags.
Cabbed back to the apartment, laid down, and just took a rest... only to cab back to the airport to pick up the friend with the screwed up schedule (don't worry - he was also missing his assigned bags), bringing him back again.
I opened up what I had, which consisted of one bag (with my suit jacket and a few formal shirts), one monitor box (which was fine), and one box with my desktop in it (which sustained lots of structural damage and managed to bend my heatsink at a 45 degree angle).
Oy.
Previous entry linked below.
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.. Yeah
I didn't even know naib is south Asian🥲
Oh I know them.
Yeah Naib is from Napal, and I do agree that he should be darker. Though, trust me, there are a lot of pale asians, including south east asians. I don't think there should be been a 'white washing problem' with your post.
Bro how can you white wash a character when they're already that skintone? 💀 it's not like you went out of your way to make him even paler because you think paler skin is better or smth.
It's pretty common knowledge that Naib is a pale character despite being from Nepal (I hate Netease for this every single day of my life) but I don't think that person should have came at you like that? Especially because skin color does not equal race/ethnicity (not saying that people can claim to be a race/ethnicity when they're really not)
Yes there are varying degrees of skin color people give Naib, and there is no denying that the character design team fucked up. Though I can't speak for Southern Asian people, I can tell you that some of my fellow brother and sisters are fucking GHOSTS (Not european looking because um yeah...) My sister of course has melanin, but she is more pale than most.
I was real PALE in quarantine. I was born very toned because I have most of my father's body genes. I did still have tan and yellow undertones, but I changed a considerable amount.
Especially when I moved and winter rolled around, I started to look even more different. Then the warmer south temperatures came around and I was tanned again. (Though not too much because I did a lot of physical labor inside) After I quit that, I started to do online school and went back to being paler.
This is my hand rn (I tried to keep it in the shadows so the white light wouldn't interfere much)
Don't say anything abt my nails, I HAVE MAD ANXIETY.
I was way tanner than this. Let me tell you, when I was younger, I always said I was the tannest kid out of all of my family members after leaving the beach. Nowadays I'm more of a in between looking type of gal.
You're very obviously not a native English speaker (/gen /nm) and I'm sure where you live, colorism is incredibly rampant. I understand that you may be uneducated and dissimive of these sort of things because you grew up around these kind of ideals.
I can totally help you understand and educate you on colorism and the issues of IDV. There's always room to grow and be better, especially with these types of things.
I may not know you personally, but I know you're not the type of person to purposefully act with bad intent. I trust that you are a good person and genuinely want to learn about the difficulties of representation in media to better yourself.
You also have no issue with drawing my skin tone, soooooo I don't see why you would try to 'white wash him' when you're alright the one I had at the time.
I personally prefer when people do give Naib more realistic representation, but I don't really mind it when people draw him pale? Idk I guess I'm just used to seeing him pale. From now on, it would definitely be nice and more realistic if you started drawing Naib with tanner skin due to his lore and cultural background. (Not saying that there ZERO PALE NAPALI PEOPLE)
Eh I don't really rock with that person anymore anyways. No shade, just saying we ain't buddy buddy.
#aponia#text me#if you want to know more#that person could've personally texted you#and tried to tell you there#but hey#it's the internet ig#💀
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Hey, so about your post where you were talking about "how do we improve mental health systems"?
First off, I'll be honest, just didn't have the brainpower to parse this many words today, but I support the general ideas I was picking up with it. Cause like, when I was 18 and in college I talked to someone about being suicidal, and I ended up in in patient but... well two things
One is when I was having the intake I happened to say that my mom was a bitch, and the lady doing the intake I hear talking on her radio saying that she has someone possibly violent, so I just changed my whole tune and became the model patient for the rest of the weekend
The second is that while everyone else there was awesome, man would I never go back into in patient. It's bad for me, it's just dead time. I can't work on anything or play or anything meaningful, and there's a total loss of freedom to set your schedule and stuff. They were great there, a real high quality facility... it would be better if I killed myself than went back
So even if I couldn't really read the whole thing, I think I like the direction you're aiming for
You asked what people wanted to see, and it seemed like it wasn't just about medical professionals, but also the ideas around community, so maybe this fits
All I want is when I talk about not doing well that people maybe... talk with me instead of just being like "I hope you can get some professional help", cause I've had a lot of professional help over the years, and I think pretty much all of them would rather I have some peers instead, cause in my case a lot of my problems are my extreme isolation
Like... I'm not saying it would cure me, but just... you know... having someone tell me why they like me... you know... ever, that might help
Cause... people act like they like me, even say they like me, and I have no choice but to trust them... but... hmm, not the place to dump a whole life story, but there's stuff that's probably pretty textbook childhood neglect, a lot of having to be my mom's parent, that sort of thing... and it just leaves me feeling totally worthless
I don't see a single scrap of value to me, and it's not like I could internalize it, but... man... if people instead of telling me to go get professional help told me reasons why they'd miss me, that would help a lot more
So to summarize, I guess what I'd like to see from community is diminishing this fear that'll we'll break people if we say the wrong thing, and instead just telling people around us that we like them and why
Like, I find that just hitting people around me with simple "I'm proud of you, you're doing a good job" even tends to have a real good effect cause... most people are starving for that kind of validation cause no one ever says it to anyone
I don't know... those are my thoughts. Hopefully they're not too scattered. Hopefully they're not too off topic
Hope you have a good day
Tw: suicide
I think this really does touch on why a lot of suicide prevention why have in place now is insufficient. It deals with the crisis of "I have a plan and intent now" by quarantining people in a supervised place until that passes - which in and of itself isn't necessarily a bad thing if done consensually and in ways that involve real care, real support, and real activity for the person involved, but can be detrimental if experienced as it often happens and as you describe.
If instead we were able to meet suicidal people's chronically unmet needs in the community, however, there might be far less need to ever have this kind of crisis intervention, and it might be able to be transformed into a very different experience since it would have such a limited use case.
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