One of the light-touch worldbuilding/storytelling/dramatic irony moments I really enjoy in Fallout: New Vegas is everything to do with Aurelius of Phoenix, the Legion Slavemaster operating Cottonwood Cove. Nested bit here, right? On first glance it seems like psuedo-Latin gibberish, something grandiose but divorced from meaning, like a lot of the Legion guys- but then you do the double take and realize it's a cognomen, a nickname Romans would receive based on great achievements or conquests-e.g. Scipio Africanus- and that implicitly this is the guy who helped sack the actual former city of Phoenix in Arizona. Stealth Future-imperfect trope, disguised at first glance because "Phoenix" is already a kind of grandiose mythologic-sounding word. And when you realize that, right, it's suddenly very funny, for the same basic reason The Republic of Dave is funny- grandiose terminology juxtaposed with a mundane name from the world we recognize. If it were Aurelius of Boise, Aurelius of Cincinnati, right, there are cities you could use in the pairing that would cause it to parse as much more of an explicit gag. So now it's silly in the way everything about the Legion is silly. But then it wraps back around to actually kind of unnerving, because first off, basically it's an offhand implication of something very nasty having gone down in Phoenix, A City From Real Life That We Recognize, in order for him to have gotten a whole Cognomen out of it. And second, it's obviously not a coincidence that his name doesn't sound dumb. Caesar isn't gonna let a subordinate quote-unquote "earn" a cognomen unless it's useful to him, unless it enhances the brand somehow, and having a guy named "Aurelius of Phoenix" walking around, well, it does do that! It feels calculated. It's not the kind of name that's downstream of cultural decay and half-remembered information. It's another example of how Caesar micromanages his slave army down to their very names, and how he lifts random superficial elements of Roman culture on an ad-hoc basis without integrating any of it on a deeper level. A lot going on, with this one guy's goofy name!

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

Wait, did you put a photo of Vil and Neige as kids in Eric’s office??

oh good, I was afraid that wasn't going to read properly and people would just be like "what is this supposed to be". :') but yeah! I like to think Eric was pretty fond of Neige as a kid! single dad sees orphan child approximately the same age as his own son and goes "hmm. okay, you guys are going to be friends now." (this did not go as well as he'd hoped.)

(also I do love how it's kind of a running joke that everyone loves Neige except for Vil, who's standing over in the corner and just seething with furious irrational hatred. someday maybe he'll find someone who doesn't think Neige is the best thing since cinnamon rolls.)

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

REBECCA FERGUSON + LETTERBOXD (template / insp)

Dishonourable Demonstration

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friendchip means everything. to me 🫶

[ cw: sacrifice / self sacrifice / slight suicidal themes / death mention / ]

I personally think that Leo took the wrong lessons from the movie. I definitely think he grew to understand the importance of teamwork and making sure he takes others into account so as to not harm them by proxy of whatever scheme he has cooked up, however based on the ending events I’m not quite certain he fully grasped two things.

The first thing is communication. Oh, he can communicate, and he does, when he deems it necessary. When he’s setting up a plan prior to the action. But this is where the second thing comes in.

The second thing I don’t think Leo truly grasped is “it’s not about you.” It’s so unbearably easy to take that the wrong way, especially when taking the rest of the series into account.

What I believe Leo took from this message is not “it’s not just you, everyone matters and can contribute, can help and be helped” but “put the whole of everyone above yourself” which can both be a good lesson…and a fatal one.

And it is fatal, we see as much in the movie.

Even after the big hope speech, when Leo is “fighting” Krang!Raph, he takes a huge risk. Sure, it worked, and Leo managed to get through to Raph through a well deserved apology, but it could have so easily ended in his death and yet he barely even hesitates to go for it.

And then again, to the big scene at the end, where Leo sacrifices himself not only for the sake of his family, but for the whole world.

To him, that’s the message to take from this. That the lives of everyone, of the greater good, matters…more than him. That the risk to himself is worth it if others can be saved.

Leo learned that gambling with his life as the betting chip is always the best move to make in the end.

And to make matters worse…this thinking is what works.

These risks are ultimately what is needed to save the day, so why would Leo look away from it now? Clearly it’s the right move and everything worked out!

Thing is, Leo did grow from the events of the movie. He learned to take things more seriously and be more mature, he learned to value his team’s input and capabilities enough to rely on them more, and he learned to be less self-centered and realize the turmoil others were going through (especially if that turmoil is a result of his actions.)

But still, he’s grown to accept the gamble of his life as a viable answer to their problems.

Personally, with how Leo has been shown to toy around with the idea of “it’s better me than them” I think this goes beyond sacrifice in the name of love or even sacrifice in the name of responsibility, and pushes over into sacrifice in the name of worth.

pride art i did for the lmkd server pride event!!

can't it even be more obvious thomas. why are you surprised that a sudrian historical site filled to the brim with armor and weaponry that dates back to the middle ages has old people afflicted with the gold dust working around the castle

She stills, her brow furrowed for a moment as she looks over every corner. Then he sees her lips part ever so softly, and her hand moves to trace the edges of the lines.  “Is this how you see me, Enver?”

From The Portrait.

So I had the absolute bloody (ha) delight of being able to commission the incredible @lokorum to paint the sadly unnamed portrait of an anonymous sitter from Lord Gortash's private collection. I am just so thrilled at how it turned out, thank you for your patience through this process, your encouragement and your kindness. It's been a delight, and I love it so much, I can't stop looking at it!

DirkJake once again. Ignore if I delete this

evil win! the ones plotting for your mysterious death are uncle and nephew!

interpreting foolish making a few of his own skins as qfoolish knowing how to sew and making his own clothes is one of my favourite headcannons because one of qfoolishs main ways of expressing his love and care is acts of service, he loves through actions. So it only makes sense that he might tend and care for the clothes of his loved ones too

imagine qfoolish sewing all of Leo's clothes, each new shirt or sock getting slightly larger than the last as she grows up before his very eyes, feeling immense pride as he goes from sewing tiny rompers to elaborate dresses that take days to complete and rolls and rolls of fabrics just to her liking all for his little girl. His heart melting ever so slightly as he starts all over again knitting a red and white striped scarf for a baby Pepito.

qjaiden showing him her wings and foolish immediately insisting she hands over every vest and shirt she has to add wing holes into the back so she never has to feel constrained and hide herself ever again.

For the longest time qroiers clothes were plagued with tears and gashes. Rips in his overalls after bobby passed, the gash in his hoodie from a friendship turned backstabbing. He can't find it within himself to fix alone, he hardly knows how. Until he's adopted, qvegetta and qfoolish taking him in with open arms and suddenly there's another hand steadying his shaking fingers because qfoolish cannot undo the hurt qroier has faced but with needle and thread he can help his son repair what he has

Mixing this with another headcannon, I like to think that the suit qroier wore at his wedding might've been one of qvegettas from one of his failed marriages. Knowing he'd never allow himself to wear it and let himself be hurt again, and so instead wanting his son to have it and see it finally worn at a happy wedding. One based upon genuine love. Though he may never experience that moment himself at least someone he loves can, the cycle continuing for qvegetta but finally breaking for roier. But Vegetta is BUILT, broad as a brick wall and muscled like no other. So foolish steps in, adjusting the shoulders and waist and whatever else until it's perfectly tailored for qroier ready to walk down the aisle carrying the love of both his fathers with him.

I’ve been a part of IRL queer and trans communities for almost 15 years, and I’ve watched every single one those remorselessly communities chew up and spit out transfems. None of them ever having been able to keep a transfem around for more than a year without getting a “bad vibe.” They’ve all kicked people with no other safety net to the curb, completely cutting them off from any of the benefits of an accepting community. Every transfem I know is either dead or living in poverty with no lifeline besides, perhaps, an extremely unhealthy tgirl skyrim house. Trans guys are just as quick to engage in this type of behavior as cis people! It’s like. Insane to me that I’m getting called delusional over this, I’ve watched this exact thing play out dozens of times. It’s happened to me and every transfem I’ve ever known IRL multiple times. Like. Everyone knows about the tranny hovels. Where do you think that comes from if not from the community widely excluding and discriminating against us? That’s not a situation that happens unless you have literally no where else to go. How do you think we would end up in such uniquely precarious situations if there were not power to leverage over us?

To be loved is to be changed.