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maraudersmyloves · 3 days

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─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆｡ﾟ. ───

Pairing: James potter x reader

Warnings: old time cursing

Word count: couldn't really count it because of the news paper and letter but around 1k

Disclaimer 1: Everything on this Blog is fiction!!!

Disclaimer 2: There is important information inside of lady whistledowns paper and the letter, read it carefully

Sypnosis: Lord Potter is back from the country just in time for your introduction to the ton. What will happen when the two meet on the dance floor?

"New Beginnings". :☆｡ﾟ. ────

The soft rustle of sheet music being turned, followed by a gentle hum from Francesca's lips, draws your attention as you seek a reprieve from the overwhelming nerves coursing through you. Your entire being tingles, and you find yourself unable to cease the restless bouncing of your leg.

"The worst part is over," Francesca murmurs, prompting you to glance up at her. Thank heavens, for the silence had grown unbearably oppressive. You arch an eyebrow in inquiry, knowing well that she is not one for excessive speech. Ordinarily, you would accept her sparse words and form your own interpretations of their meaning, but the prospect of enduring another hour in silence threatens to drive you to madness. Your gown rests comfortably beneath your bust, and even the small, crown-like headpiece, far lighter than the feathered one you donned but two days past, elicits no complaint from you.

"We have presented ourselves to the Queen, which, naturally, entails presenting oneself to the ton," she elucidates. "Indeed," you murmur in agreement. She speaks truly, yet the daunting prospect looms: the coming year shall be filled with two balls or outings per week, coupled with promenading with potential suitors (should any materialize), leaving scant time for oneself. At the very least, Francesca's adept playing of the pianoforte captivates callers, ensuring her swift marriage. Alas, most men hold little fondness for well-read women, particularly those who engage in little else.

You have endeavored to embrace various pursuits, and while you do find solace in the creative expression sewing affords, the frustration mounts after but a few minutes of struggle, whereas books provide a true escape. You have long harbored a desire to engage in the gardening your father so cherished, yet the mere thought of touching dirt would likely bring untold shame upon your family, especially as an unmarried woman.

"I am simply fearful of..." You cannot bring yourself to complete the sentence and give voice to the dread of becoming a spinster, but judging by your sister’s expression, there is no need. She understands. You smile.

James steps into his residence, now bustling with servants arranging his belongings. He feels a chill, uncertain if it emanates from the brisk London air or from the house itself, which ceased to be a home long ago. Attempting to count the servants proves futile, their swift movements blurring into a cold shiver that travels up his spine. In the country, he had precisely two servants, Archie and Edith.

Archie, though sparing with words and often reminding James too much of someone he could not converse with (you, although he does not like to think anything makes him think of you.), did surprisingly, drew laughter from him on more than one occasion. Edith, on the other hand, was a ceaseless chatterbox, her conversations spanning birds, flowers, the sky, and the future. Over the years, he had the company of approximately three Misses, all amiable ladies, but between caring for his ailing mother and drafting letters to you that he never found the courage to send, his time was scarcely his own.

A maid approaches, presenting him with a letter. He skims it, feeling the contrast of the soft paper against his rough fingertips, and nods. A ball is to be hosted by some lady, showcasing the new debutantes as the ton engages in its usual gossip. He finds no need to attend.

He hands back the letter, but the maid hesitates to leave, nervously wringing the fabric of her dress. “Is there something else, Miss…?”

“Miss Schultz, Your Grace. No, I merely thought you might wish to know that Miss Bridgerton will be attending.”

James' heart skips a beat, and he must quell a surge of rage, replacing it with a veneer of calm to avoid snapping at Miss Schultz. “Francesca? How delightful. I shall send the Bridgertons my congratulations on her debut.” Noticing Miss Schultz's internal debate on whether to correct him, he decides to preempt her. He’s aware of your age and you mentioned your upcoming debut in the last rage-filled letter he received. He burned that letter. “I will retire to my study now. Thank you for informing me, Miss Schultz.”

taglist (comment if you want to be added): @star611 @thesuitelifeofafangirl @oneawkwardwriter

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keepittoyourshelf · 2 days

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Since the algorithm on my various socials thinks I actually want to see a ton of people simping over Rhys and ACOTAR, let’s get down to the bones of why that algorithm is fucked beyond all comprehension, shall we?

I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m pro-Tamlin, not in the sense that I approve of what he did, but from the place that I believe he’s worthy of forgiveness in the same way any of the men that SJM otherwise glorifies in her work is worthy of it for any of their transgressions.

I shouldn’t have to do a paint by numbers thing here to make this obvious, but based on the actual text written by SJM in her own words, Tamlin has objectively done nothing better or worse than Rhysand has.

The big complaint is his temper, of course, and pro-Rhysies love to bullshit about how the red flags were all over book 1 and SJM is such a master at foreshadowing.

He locked Feyre in a house against her will to protect her, when she clearly didn’t want to be caged. How is that any worse than Rhysand…drugging her and making her give him lap dances, in order to protect her, when she clearly didn’t want to be dancing naked in front of strangers?

Go on. I’ll wait for your rationalization.

Rhysand’s whole shtick was that he’s only playing the villain to keep Velaris (and only Velaris) safe…those fucks in the Hewn City can eat a bag of dicks, right? But tell me again how Tamlin is the really bad one for enforcing a tithe because it’s unfair to those who can’t afford it (fair point). But Rhysand chooses to save the one city in his court that has zero problems. Let’s let those that might already be suffering from poverty get kidnapped and tortured by a psychopath. That’s probably better than a tithe, right?

And let’s not forget how Tamlin mocked Feyre and Rhys at the High Lords meeting. While funny, it was in poor taste. At least Rhysand didn’t publicly mock Tamlin. He had the decency to do it privately when he went out of his way to go to a deeply troubled man’s house and, in the midst of an obvious mental health crisis, not only had the gall to ask for resources from a man that has no resources because his own wife fucking destroyed them out of spite, but proceeds to rub in his triumph over a man that has nothing left. Nothing to see there, right?

Even if you could ignore all of that (and you’d have to be willfully fucking thick to do so, which a lot of these people are), I shall leave you with Tamlin’s role as a spy for Hybern. That’s obviously supposed to be a real shock because TaMliN BaD at this point, so why would anyone believe him? It’s not like he had a really good explanation like Rhys gave when he murdered literal children and innocents just to ensure Amarantha didn’t know how noble he actually was. Right? RIGHT?! And it’s not like anyone would have a harder time believing someone who had played evil and done actually evil things for the “greater good” (a collectivist dog whistle if there ever was one) for fifty fucking years over the dude that suddenly goes bad after being a progressive and respected high lord for the same period of time? I mean, it’s not like we’re dealing with severe mental anguish and trauma here. That’s crazy talk.

Shadow Daddy does no wrong. Even when he does. Because reasons.

Those idiots on TikTok making stupid videos showing their bf’s being all shocked and I KNEW IT when Tamlin “turns” can chew glass along with all those dipshits selling mugs that say “Tamlin’s Tears” on Etsy right next to merch glorifying a man that literally gaslit his soulmate into believing that forced drunken naked lap dances were actually a good thing, when you think about it.

SJM isn’t a master of foreshadowing. She’s a sloppy writer of moderately entertaining fiction that has a kink for glorifying severely unhealthy behaviors without the benefit of a trigger warning.

Fuck off if you think that’s all okay and think that anyone that says Tamlin isn’t any worse comparatively is the crazy one. Projection is a real disorder. Look it up. Right after you order your 543rd Rhysand candle.

#anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti sjm #anti feyre #pro tamlin #anti inner circle #anti acotar #sjm critical

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egophiliac · 7 months

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C'MON TO THE THEATER!

I love these guys so much. forget NRC, I want to attend their terrible disaster school for disaster children that might actually be plastered on top of the smoking remains of an actively sinking ship. I may or may not actually learn anything, but I will have the time of my life.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #unique magic posters #so it was fellow after all and not gidel? whoops #i was merely overthinking it #me? overthink fictional characters? surely not #god though #i can't not love a guy who gets the cutest most adorable power #and instantly goes 'i shall use this for Crimes'#also every time he was like 逃げる! my brain auto-translated it as CHEESE IT!#accompanied by twst's running-away sound effect which is just the quintessential sound of someone cheesing it #if i could have (1) twst spinoff it would be the adventures of these two idiots trying to do an education #they would have a stodgy bureaucrat antagonist who keeps trying to catch them in their sleazy corner-cutting ways and shut them down #(OF COURSE there would be a bit where they are trying to host an unforgettable luncheon but egads! their roast is ruined!)#and all while they're trying to evade being hunted down by the playful land investors #the hijinks would be SO wacky you guys #i've made myself sad now because this will never exist #it's real in my HEART

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susieandhobbes · 4 months

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I can't explain this, but Black women looking young is somehow being added to the convenient excuses to not ship Black women with popular white leading men but ~not in a racist way~

She's strong and independent, she doesn't need him

He's a mess, she can do better

She should be gay! or with minor Black side character!

NEW: She looks so young :(

I'm obviously picking on this particular person but I've seen several people dismiss SydCarmy because "he's a much older, mentor figure! that'd be inappropriate!" And like??? HUUUUH???

Sydney and Carmy are an absolute MAX of 5 years apart in age. And while Ayo looks beautiful, 19 she does not look! Sydney went to culinary school and has worked at several fine dining establishments before launching her own business, common sense says she's at least in her late 20s. And while Carmy has more restaurant experience, he was a literal prodigy who started young.

ALSO, this is kind of an aside but where the fuck is Carmy mentoring Sydney in any real capacity?

S1 - she gets hired, 2 days later she was like "hey I redid your entire business plan because your shit is fucked, a day later he asked her to lead the brigade and then ditched her. He went to cater Cicero's party with Richie and once again Sydney was in charge DURING A POWER OUTAGE. She quit mid-service, comes back, and he's like want to start a restaurant with me?? Not as a fucking mentee, as a partner

S2 - Sydney is making the construction timeline decisions and present and participating in financial/loan conversations with the literal owners of the Beef/Bear. Sydney is part of designing the menu. Sydney is hiring. The only mentor-mentee relationship she's in is with TINA!

Does Sydney look up to Carmy because he's in many ways accomplished her culinary dreams? Absolutely. But people acting like she's some bright eyed student he's teaching to dice onions is fucking crazy.

#anyway i'm yelling #the bear fx #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #sydcarmy #everyone is just so predictable and annoying #there was another reddit post #where the OP was like 'im 21 and my boss is in his 30s and i hate when people imply there's something romantic between us'#and i had to PHYSICALLY restrain myself from being like 'well sweetie #like do you spend a lot of time in your boss' apartment or looking into each others eyes under tables?#is he buying you custom designer chef wear?#no?#fucking ok then #let's get back to this fictional fucking show then shall we #this really feels so tenmartha in the worst way

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ultfan · 15 days

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me when tumblr recommends me someone defending dr3 in the tags and i read through the entire thing and get mad bc they don't understand what brainwashing really is.

#'brainwashing has been a staple of the series for a long time' they say (mostly talking about mind control)#mind control in the fictional sense not the real world sense btw #magical/technological means of instantly controlling ones thoughts #the video in dr0? yeah. brainwashing. they were watching it ON FUCKING LOOP over and over to the point of desensitizing themselves #they were already vulnerable to start with as well. it was fucking conditioning them. not controlling them directly – brainwashing them #the monokuma kids? DIRECT MIND CONTROL #THEY ARE WEARING FUCKING HELMETS ON THEIR HEADS AND HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THEMSELVES OR THEIR AUTONOMY #THAT IS NOT BRAINWASHING!! THAT IS FUCKING!! PUPPETEERING THEM #they brought up smthn in the togami book. never read that but apparently there's a book that spreads despair disease #(info gotten from unreliable source in the book)#tbh it's probably propaganda to help despair spread better #it doesn't have to be fucking literal #also despair disease... if it is anything like dr2... IS NOT BRAINWASHING #IT JUST FUCKIN TAKES OVER THEIR BODY/OVERRIDES THEIR PERSONALITY AUTOMATICALLY #IT'S A MIND ALTERING ILLNESS???#NOT!! BRAINWASHING!!#and then of course saying brainwashing in dr3 is the natural conclusion and that it doesn't retcon anything #AND I AGREE BRAINWASHING IS THE NATURAL CONCLUSION. BUT DR3 DIDN'T DO THAT #it just fucking... made them flip a switch out of nowhere?#MIKAN SAID SHE BECAME THE WAY SHE DID DUE TO HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS #NOT BC SHE WATCHED SILLY DESPAIR VIDEO #to use magic subliminal messaging to INSTANTLY change the way someone thinks isn't brainwashing in your typical sense. that's mind control #let's define brainwashing shall we?#a method for systematically changing attitudes or altering beliefs #originated in totalitarian countries #especially through the use of torture— drugs— or psychological-stress techniques #or perhaps this one:#any method of controlled systematic indoctrination especially one based on repetition and confusion #REPEATED TORTURE. REPEATED WATCHING OF THINGS #**REPETITION IS KEY**

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chiropteracupola · 1 year

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this round's my treat!

#em draws stuff #team fortress 2 #medic tf2 #heavy tf2 #this is a story called I Would Like To Be Having A Flavor of Soda They Don't Stock At The Grocery Store #and so instead of having any myself I shall send the fictional characters to the soda fountain of the imagination #another continuation of cliftonsimage I fear. but then again cliftonsimage does continue consuming my thoughts to this day.#[tilts my head to one side and my neckbones make a noise like a bundle of spaghetti snapping] I'm very normal about them #currently experiencing a curse of little time and many ideas and also did not feel like doing inks and colors in my usual way today #so it goes so it goes.

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takiki16 · 5 months

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A Fine Chain

UPDATE: Chapter 14/?

Fandom: Jupiter Ascending

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Beta: @gallifreyburning

Relationships: Jupiter Jones/Caine Wise

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Light Dom/sub, Power Imbalance, Royalty, Slavery, Collars, Leashes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Don’t copy to another site, Dark

Summary: Caine Wise, disgraced ex-Skyjacker and convicted criminal, is suddenly inducted into the service of the enigmatic Queen Nea-Seraphi, mysterious new Recurrence and puzzle to the Entitled social circle. While figuring out the boundaries of his new station, worrying about his old commander, and nursing old wounds from his court martial, Caine finds himself slowly being drawn into the confidence of his royal employer. What could Her Majesty possibly want with a defective splice?

In which the queen is in peril, royal wardrobes are dismantled, and Caine experiences some tribulations.

The wonderful @zahnie has made a PLAYLIST for this fic!!!! Go check it out immediately!

#a fine chain #jupiter ascending #ja fic #jupiter ascending fic #caine wise #jupiter jones #y'all have NO IDEA how petty and disappointed I felt when I couldn't find a better name for the Bee Gun (TM)#like...they ALREADY used the best name so i had to come up with another name #but anything involving venom is just not specific enough to bees and feels more associated with snakes in fiction #and looking at all the weird anatomy charts was giving me very yonic vibes for some reason #however this is nowhere near the weirdest rabbit hole i have gone down for fic research #not even the weirdest rabbit hole where the end result was a single line or words #AND ALSO IT TOOK FOURTEEEEEEEN CHAPTERS for caine to even be able to verbalize the fact that he SHOULDN'T BE HAVING THESE THOUGHTS #i'm so proud of the Good Boy for hitting that milestone. I shall be Hurrying Him Along This Path don't you worry #part of the fun of pacing is that I realize it doesn't seem like a long time to ME bc i'm actually very far ahead of where i'm posting #but to the READERS it will feel like a while and to CAINE he doens't get to do time skips like we do #so the pacing isn't as wonky as I fear it is...i hope #everyone thank gallifreyburning bc TRULY...without her this would not exist

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raspberriesandstrawberries · 7 months

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Been in a vampiry kind of mood lately

#my art #believe it or not this actually has very little to do with Astarion #I'm sure he was part of it #but my vampire thoughts are primarily the result of reading Worse vampire fiction #which shall remain unnamed #with pathetic excuses for vampires #and thinking about what characteristics I like to see in vampires and why #and then I dug up a four year old OC to draw #to pat myself on the back for my impeccable taste #actually Astarion was involved in that I was thinking while drawing #that I gave *my* boy white eyelashes because unlike Larian I'm not a COWARD #anyway its nice to have something finished #even if its not the most intricate thing imaginable #I've had such trouble finishing anything in the last six months or so #I POSTED THIS ON THE WRONG BLOG FIRST #GOD DAMN IT #if you saw that no you didn't

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keeps-ache · 18 days

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ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]

#just me hi #i'm going to get right back to it but i need to complain or i'll turn into a stale loaf of Bread lmao :3👍#so here it is. why's it gotta be so hard hhghfh #okay buildings suck i hate buildings. but also they don't make me want to immediately explode at the merest hint of actually drawing them #vehicles?? Vehicles ???? i am going to just. what if i just put everyone in magical cardboard boxes and did that huh. what is the point !!#i have to draw motorcyclessss and carssssss and i'm okay with bikes to a degree actually <3 and horsessssssss and truckssssssssssss #god forbid you pick an older model with like 20 articles on it cuz most of them are going to only have a side profile and 3/4s view of that #dang thing. which yea sounds manageable 'why is this a problem keeps' i cannot properly see the FRONT #i have to guess?? i have to Guess ???? my dearest wish i think i'm just going to live in the sewers. with the sewer creatures #GGHHHHHHHHHHHH #i am going to practice drawing this stupid thing that i'm going to use for like 7 panels MAX and then i'm going to commit a FOUL crime. lik #rearranging someone's usual playlist without them knowing so they're confused every time they listen to it afterwards #//okay enough of that. we're good hbfhsfh :3 #i have done other things today ! i've actually made a rough timeline for pi.e so thaaaat's cool :D #that and found a cool artist to follow on pillowfort. i. forgor their user but they have cool art .w.#/also i'm past the halfway mark on this first chapter which is !!!#i don't want to jinx myself cuz i know i'm really good at that hfhsv - but i think i'll start storyboarding the next part if i can get a #couple more pages done :D #//also the cowboy au grows stronger everyday hhhgfshvbh #i kind of knew some sort of au was inevitable but i did not think it would be an old west one loll :3 #still trying to figure out the logistics #i wanna find some good historical fiction from those eras (1860s-70s) but i do not have the brain space for it rn fbhs - so this will do :>#it won't have any of the magic or gods i think bc of that but i'm having fun regardless :D #it Does have some occult though. because i was playing the story for my brother and i Do enjoy scaring him hhbvhfhsfvh #there are devils on the ranch!! or are they devils?? he hasn't gotten that far yet lol :>#//i also may have some sort of weird lean towards the spooky because Somehow each of my stories end up containing some sort of thriller #element?? lmao rip my siblings #but it never happens on purpose. again; rip my siblings hfhhvsh #//oo running out of tag space lol <//3 #i shall return. probably with more wip stuff cuz i started like 4 canvases in 2 days hhghghdvs - toodles !!

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leecherish · 1 year

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.

#this is so sappy but. me attending uni at the same when kukugumi canonically does means so so so much to me #maybe its just a tiny bit pathetic to be attached to a group of fictional characters this much but it really makes me feel... not alone #yakusoku tower and watashitachi wa mou butai no ue make me cry for that reason #its like a promise between me and them. we will do this together and we shall arrive to our dazzling destination together...#a voice reaching through the cosmos comforting me when i fall and being happy with me when i soar...#sometimes i feel like the 4 years i spent dicking around after high school wasn't so that i can find a field to commit to.#its so that kukugumi can catch up to me LOL #sorry. i love revue starlight so much.#i listened to watashitachi wa mout butai no ue on the first days of both of my semesters so far and i think it will be a tradition #txt

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allylikethecat · 4 months

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teen dad au 👀 i’m here for maximum angst haha

Okay, so Ducklings is pretty angsty and Fictional!Matty isn't handling that whole situation well... now IMAGINE how angsty that fic would be if Fictional!Matty was like 16-17. Teenagers are the angstiest group of people I've ever met and we all know how messy my Fictional!Matties always end up being...

I have a few more projects I need to finish (or almost finish) before I can truly dive into this one (I say that now but watch me be like FUCK IT WE'RE POSTING next week lol) but between this and the Vampire fic have been very much consuming my thoughts. I'm so glad that there is an audience for this one as well!!! My head has just been SPINNING with so many ideas and the note on my phone for this fic is getting longer and longer...

Thank you so much for sending in this lovely encouraging ask, for reading and for the continued support! I hope you enjoy my other projects in the meantime and that I'm able to get to this one sooner rather than later! I hope you have a happy Monday and a fantastic week!

❤️Ally

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mars-ipan · 4 months

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talking to my mom is such a blast. meeting of the minds

#marzi speaks #pseudosexuality moment #<- for what the tags shall entail #it’s great we both engage in good faith share our perspectives #and then we both come out of it having learned something new #and it rules!!#we had a really good discussion about kink and sex tonight #and we talked about negotiation and sex positivity and the specific things we liked and didn’t like #and how important it is to communicate that with a partner #and how all of this ties into being acespec #i even explained pseudosexuality to her! and she seemed to get it pretty well! about as well as i do anyways lmao #and then i mentioned my kmda crush bc he’s a good example of it being easier for aspecs in some cases to be attracted to fiction #to which she was like ‘that makes sense- it’s like fantasy’#anyways i was trying to explain why i liked him to her. and i was like ‘ok kmda. my mom grew up in the 80s. kmda. 80s. what connection. OH’#and i said he had the JD appeal and my mom went ‘ah gotcha mkay’#eventually the discussion turned into how stories like heathers are being simplified and reduced for the sake of remakes #and that was also a really good convo #but i really enjoyed talking about kink stuff with my mom. we bonded :]#also it was cool to see where we differed. some things i was like Yes about she was like Absolutely Not about and vice versa #it was also fun to see where we had similarities. rope bunny solidarity 🤝 it’s the GAD lmao #anyways i love talking to her. she’s so smart and when she sees something she doesn’t understand she doesn’t judge it or shy away from it #she just asks for clarification and tries her best to understand and contribute to the conversation #and usually we both end up learning from each other!!! it’s so cool #also a lot of my friends (at least that i regularly see irl) are not nearly as freaky as me so i rarely get to talk kink with ppl #so it was nice to just get to have that conversation

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possiblytracker · 1 year

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for as long as i've been on meds ive had a problem with being really really understimulated in the first few hours after i get up, like it feels like there is NOTHING to do and nobody to talk to and i will literally explode into particles if i dont find something interesting to latch onto and slip into a hyperfocused fugue state about immediately. its only been worse since i started having morning classes this semester. anyway interesting that the one thing so far ive found thats actually helped alleviate it is pulling up a tumblr draft and infodumping to a completely fucking unhinged degree

#oh no i dropped my ~1000 word essay on fictional animals ive been working on between the hours of 9am and 1pm for the past 3 days #where did THAT come from haha <3 #jk its still in drafts im letting it sit for a while before throwing it to the masses (my 4 followers on that account)#it shall age like fine wine while i fistfight my anxiety in the back and maybe do a few dozen more edits #medsposting

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starbuck · 2 years

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ten years ago today, i was apparently too depressed to update my journal (checks out lol), but the previous entry makes up for it… the degree to which i have not changed in a decade is honestly kind of hilarious…

#i go on to complain about reading a fanfic that mischaracterized my favorite character at the time #which is pretty funny considering that idek what characteristics that character has except for being an awful gross freak?????#but i appreciate that i’ve always been really picky about fic 😂😂#this is funnier because i am CURRENTLY cleaning my room which is why i found my old journal #and i also found $100 i forgot about a minute ago so like. take THAT 12 y/o me lol #which character was i excited to kill in the next chapter of my fic? i will NEVER tell!!!!!!!!!!#i feel like the actual answer is funnier than anything you could imagine it was… but i’m still not telling…#i celebrated a LOT of fictional deaths as a kid… some as annual holidays…#i should start doing that again…#i think that one actually might be coming up… let me check…#yeah lol it’s pretty soon #i don’t remember having any specific rituals for that one…#i guess i could stab someone…#i shall take it under consideration

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outlying-hyppocrate · 8 months

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positively despising how my consistent personality is leaving me and how i resort to such strange lies

#random thoughts #i write this on the cold tile floor of a place that has yet to hear my wailing screams. this is a lie. i am in bed #if my writing were anywhere near kafkaesque i don't think i'd be doing very well. but how i do admire his work #i read quite a bit. my bookshelves one day shall be piled with the works of authors such as anne rice. oscar wilde (and franz kafka himself #though this is the 21st century. what of modern fiction ? what of modern nonfiction ? i've made myself into someone #whose vocabulary is strangely extensive. we could argue that i've been this person all along #a sort of “gifted child” perhaps. except. i don't fucking use words like perhaps #as. not as. because this is a mockery of the self #how to put it less concisely ? i sound so old. “so mature for [my] age.”#i'm a very strange sort of person and when i stand alone in the water my screaming takes the form of beautiful song. but #how i long to stop the sound and choke it out into something strangled with my very own fingers. my essence is poetry #and therefore all that i am is poetry. i am so beautiful #my face and my body and everything we are made of #to spill the essence of poetry in the form of something more human. blood or spit or tears or vomit #i am so very interested in human function. what am i saying i'm being strange on purpose? but i like being strange #and this is how you see me now. my eccentric persona(lity) does not make me special at all. i'm not doing very well #i never am to tell the truth. it is getting so hard to prove my humanity and i'm starting to feel rather artificial #i have nothing to show proof of humanity such as blood or spit or tears or vomit #but then again i am simply being dramatic. i'm just being dramatic. that's it #i am just a boy and just a puppet and just how i present to others #i am pleasant. i am charming. i am robotic. i am awkward. i am cultured. i am weird. i am almost a person #my fingers are so thin. i've always been inhuman. they have their blood and spit and tears and vomit #and i have nothing but i think i like those words quite a bit. and i am watching the numbers raise higher. notifications. pretty things #i'm sorry i'm acting like this. acting. acting. actingactingactingidon't know what's brought it on #i speak so strangely. maybe i should try something else. i shall go to sleep and pretend that nothing happened. which it did. let me #bstvlpeooiamotridst . you have the words. i've been purposely alternating every three tags to write blood and spit and tears and vomit #i like patterns very much what else can i say. patterns are. pretty. though pretty isn't a word that fits into my extensive vocabulary #it should be buried at the bottom rather. what's a nicer way. i'm not actually sure #if you've made it this far please kindly say hello. otherwise that's alright #we've arrived to form our pattern again and i don't actually feel very much. bloodspit tearsvomit

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themysterioust · 9 months

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desktop discord is down and i cannot talk to the funny little gays who live in my computer. i think i'm going to start twitter beef with elon musk

#the melon lord speaketh #my enclosure lacks in enrichment!!#WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO #GO TOUCH GRASS LIKE A /PLEBIAN/#oh well maybe it'll be back up by lunch. until then i shall yell about fictional twinks via smoke signal to my gays

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