#but then she fucking sat there until 3:19 so its all fucking ruined now. its just fucking ruined
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every so often im like “im totally normal im not even neurodivergent” and then something hyperspecific related to my Behaviours happens and it makes me so stressed i get a headache and so angry i have to physically hit something or stomp my feet. but im totally normal
#lime.txt#currently being prevented from pacing and im about to burst into tears like i legitmately feel like i am going to explode. i cant even#explain its like i was all ready headphones in and then my sister came to sit in the same room#and it feels like someone lit a firecracker of stress inside my ribcage#its like. i got here at 3 and i was gonna pace around and daydream until 3:30 and then go to work#but then she fucking sat there until 3:19 so its all fucking ruined now. its just fucking ruined#and i cant get it back and im gonna be pissed off at work all night
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Tonight You Belong to Me
Word Count: 1,231
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader
Summary: Y/N and Steve have a baby together and become the family Steve always wanted his own to be.
******************************************************
It was never the plan to get pregnant at 19 but here you were. Standing outside of Steve Harrington’s house with a pregnancy test in your pocket. You had paced up to his doorstep and back to your car for the last five minutes. It was even more awkward considering that his neighbours were sitting out on the lawn, watching your little display of nerves. This was dumb, it was dumb! You should just leave, you’ll talk to him tomorrow. You spun on your heels, striding towards your car when you heard the front door creak open.
“Y/N? What are you doing?”
You slowly turned around to face Steve, standing in the middle of his doorway, his brow furrowed in confusion. This would ruin him, his future, how could you do this to him? But when you stood there looking at him, you couldn’t help it. You broke down. Tears streamed down your face and your breathing came out in gasps. He was next to you in a second, his arms wrapped around you.
“Hey, hey, you’re okay! You’re okay, I got you,” he held you close to him, rocking you back and forth, “What’s wrong, baby?”
You looked up at him with tears streaming down your cheeks and taking in a deep shuddering breath.
“I’m late,” you whispered.
He froze, his eyes as wide as saucers, looking down at you.
“Are you sure?”
“I took like 6 tests. They were all positive. I’m so sorry, Steve,” you choked out, wrapping your own arms around your waist, “you don’t have to be a part of this. I can take care of it, it’s fine. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, hey stop that,” he brushed your hair away from your face, “I’m all in. Whatever you want to do, I will be there for you, baby.”
You grabbed his hand and cradled it to your face. The way that he was looking at you with more love than you ever expected him to look at you right now. Your eyes fluttered shut, trying to not break apart in this moment.
“I don’t want you to throw away your future for me, Steve. I’m not worth that.”
“Hey, I am not throwing away my future! You and this little alien growing inside you, that’s my future. You were always going to be part of future, baby, this is just not the expected way.”
You sat on the sidewalk together, him cradling you in his arms. His lips peppering your face with kisses. This was the start of your future.
**********************************************************
After nine months of absolute hell, you stared down at the crib, at your tiny baby daughter. She was so tiny, her fingers didn’t even wrap around your one finger. Ever since you had brought her home from the hospital Steve had not left the nursery. At this very moment, he had scrunch his long legged body in the crib to sleep next to this tiny, beautiful baby you made together. The love that filled your heart overwhelmed you when you looked down at the two of them. You sank into the rocking chair, feeling your eyes slowly close. Just five minutes wouldn’t hurt, you deserved five minutes.
You jerked awake to realize that 3 hours had passed. You stood up and stretched your arms up over your head. That was the moment you realized Steve and the baby were gone. Panic bubbled up your throat, and you ran out of the nursery to check the rest of the house. Bedroom? Empty. Bathroom? Empty. You rushed over to the living room to see Steve bouncing gently on the balls of his feet. His hair was pointing every different direction, dark moons under his eyes and spit up on the shoulder of his shirt but he was still gorgeous to you. You could hear him singing softly under his breath and the song he sang broke you in two.
“I know, I know you belong
to somebody new
But tonight
You belong to me”
You walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his back. He looked over his shoulder at you, showing you the tears that shone in his eyes. The smile that was spread across his face made you lean into him, holding him even tighter.
“Keep singing,” you whispered, looking down at your daughter.
“Although.”
“Although,” you joined in, letting your voices harmonize.
“We’re apart
You’re a part of my heart
But tonight
You belong to me
Wait down by the stream
How sweet it will seem
Once more just to dream in
The moonlight.”
He turned around, letting your daughter rest in between the both of you, swaying back and forth. Then he looked up at you, letting his eyes rest on yours. You felt a tear slip down your face. When you had told him, you had never expected this much happiness to fill your life. He leaned down to you, resting his forehead against yours as he sang the rest of the song to you.
“My honey I know
With the dawn
That you will be gone
But tonight
You belong to me
But tonight
You belong
To me”
You cupped his face, laying a gentle kiss against his lips.
“You have a beautiful singing voice, baby,” you whispered, “I love that song.”
He let his head give a little nod, a single tear slip down in cheek. He still hadn’t stopped swaying back and forth, you didn’t think he could if he tried. He took one deep breath before he started to talk to you in that hushed whisper you both learned the hard way.
“Claudia would sing it to Dustin whenever they were cooking or cleaning together, sometimes she made me sing with them. It was a little awkward but whenever they sang it, I don’t know. It just felt like love. I want her to feel that. I want to be a good dad to her. I want her to know that I love her no matter how many times she messes up. I want to be a good dad,” he choked out, “do you think she knows that?”
You let out a tiny laugh, letting your thumb rub against his cheek. There he was, rocking his daughter back and forth at 4am, singing love songs to her, and all the while thinking he was a bad dad.
“I want you to look at your daughter, Steve, look at this sweet baby. You are worried about not being a good dad, well guess what, darling? Steven Joseph Harrington, I need you not to forget what I’m about to say. Because Barbara? She will grow up with you as a dad and she is so damn lucky for that.”
“You promise?”
“I will do even better than that, Harrington. I will pinky promise.”
“Oh wow, so it’s serious.”
“Very serious.”
You held out your pinky, letting him adjust Barbara so he could hold her up with one arm until he held his pinky out to yours. You wrapped your pinky around his and gave him the most serious face you could muster.
“I pinky promise that you are an amazing dad, Steve.”
He looked down at this beautiful baby that you made together, this miracle that bulldozed its’ way into his life. He was finally part of a family and he wasn’t going to fuck this one up.
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fluff#stranger things fluff#stranger things imagine#steve harrington imagine#stranger things fic#steve harrington x you
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Cupid’s Tears | NCT Dream #2
Genre: Cupid au, angst, fluff (happy ending)
K-pop Group: NCT Dream
Safeword: Star⭐
Requested by: none
_______________________________
TRIGGER WARNING: CUSSING, NUDITY, MENTIONS OF DEATH, VULGAR LANGUAGE, DIRTY THOUGHTS.
THIRD POV.
Y/N sighed for the nth time, cheek resting on her palm as she stared at the couples across the street.
"Dude shut the fuck up."
Y/N blinked, "Well, excuse me- sorry for breathing," she sarcastically said, hand on her chest.
"Apology accepted. Now, stop sighing every time you see a happy couple and let them live their life. You live your own."
"But, Donghyuckkkk. It's not fair that they get to be happy, and I don't," she whined, pouting.
Donghyuck rolled his eyes and flicked Y/N on the forehead. "Of course, your whiny ass is still single at 19; you won't shut up."
"I'll have you know that is not the reason I'm still single."
"Oh, yeah? Then why are you still single?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Because my whiny ass won't shut up."
Donghyuck smiled, "At least you still have a brain. God forbid you to be both whiny and dumb."
"Hey! Take that back!"
Donghyuck stuck his tongue out, running out of the ice cream shop.
"Come back here, you little shit!
Time skip. THIRD POV.
Y/N was currently wrapped in a burrito blanket, watching a particularly romantic show.
All of a sudden, she burst into tears, "Why can't I have a relationship like that? I want somebody to love me that way. And to brush my hair. And to pick my outfit of the day. And-and," another wave of tears took over her as she shook.
In the sky.
Jaemin was intently watching the girl. Each cupid was assigned a person to matchmake. They started at the age of 21, so this was Jaemin's first "client".
"Why does my heart ache for her? I hate seeing her so broken."
An idea popped into his head, and he went looking for Donghyuck's cupid.
"Hey, Johnny."
"'Sup, dude. How's your first client going?"
"That's what I'm here to talk about. Your client is Donghyuck, right?"
"Mhm, why?"
"How about we shoot them? They do say dating your best friend is better than dating a stranger."
"I can't do that."
"What?"
"I'm sorry, man, but I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"He doesn't like her, and he's as stubborn as a rock. Even if I shoot him, he won't accept falling in love with his best friend. Besides, he's already got his eyes on someone else, and I think they'd be pretty cute together."
Jaemin slumped. He bid goodbye to Johnny and went back to watching Y/N.
Another idea popped into his head. "This probably isn't that smart, but I'm out of ideas."
He planned to shoot his arrow on Y/N and see where it goes from there. He only has one shot, though, for each person only has one arrow. If that arrow doesn't reach them, they'll lose their ability to fall in love forever.
Jaemin took a breath, aiming his bow.
"3..."
"2.."
"...1..."
He shot the arrow.
He shot the arrow and missed.
He missed.
Y/N stood up last minute before the arrow could hit her. The arrow ended up disintegrating after missing its target.
Jaemin dropped his bow.
"I just killed the arrow... and I missed..." (A/N: in this oneshot, cupid's arrows are living and, once hitting their target, become those butterflies in your stomach that you feel. If the arrow misses its target, it disintegrates and dies. There's only one arrow per person on Earth. Missing your target results in a punishment decided by the queen.)
Jaemin was teleported to the throne hall where the queen stays.
"Na Jaemin," her loud voice echoed along the walls of the vast castle.
"Y-your majesty," Jaemin kneeled.
"You have failed."
"Yes, your majesty, I am aware."
"Mistakes are not tolerated. You have missed the target."
Jaemin gulped, "Yes, your majesty. I apologize."
"Don't apologize to me: apologize to the poor girl whom you ruined the life of."
"H-how...?"
The queen hummed, shifting in her throne, "Because your arrow missed, she now has lost her ability to love. Your punishment will be to go down to Earth and figure out a way to make Y/N feel once again."
Jaemin's eyes widened, "Your majesty, that's impossible!"
"Figure it out. You've got five months. After that, depending on if you succeed or not, you will be killed or sent back up here and work in labor."
"What about being a cupid?"
"You have lost that role and are no longer a cupid. You will go down to Earth as a human and will come back as a mere citizen of this city if your punishment is successful."
Jaemin felt a lump in his throat, "Understood, your majesty."
"You have disappointed me, Jaemin."
"I have disappointed myself, too. When will my punishment take place?"
"Right now," the queen stood up, walking towards Jaemin, who was still kneeling on the floor. Bending down to his ear level, she whispered, "Before you go, do not tell anyone of your punishment. If you do, death awaits you."
Jaemin's heart quickened, "Understood, your majesty."
Rising from the floor, the queen sat back on her throne.
"Goodbye, Na Jaemin."
Everything went black
Y/N'S POV.
I was done watching my show and was getting ready for bed when a man appeared in front of me.
I jumped, "Ah! Who are you? How'd you get in my house? And why are you naked?!"
The man's eyes widened, and he looked down, immediately covering his dick.
"Woah... it's big."
My face heated up as I slapped myself, "Wake up, Y/N. You can't say stuff like that."
"U-um, excuse me."
"Oh, right! The naked but hot man. Wait, what- no no no!"
"How'd you get in here? Why are you here?"
"Um, my name's Na Jaemin."
"Jaemin's a pretty name."
"I didn't ask for your name; I asked you why and how you got here."
He blinked, "Oh, um, I, uh, can I get some clothes, first?"
My eyes widened, "Right! He's still naked..."
I went into the guest room where some of Donghyuck's clothes are. "He wouldn't mind a stranger wearing his clothes, right?... He'll definitely mind, but I'll deal with that later."
"Here," I threw the clothes at him, Jaemin uncovering his dick to catch the clothes. I turned around to give him some privacy and waited while he changed.
"I'm, um, done."
I turned around. "Okay, now, why are you here?"
"I... don't know. But please don't kick me out! I have nowhere to go!"
I was taken aback by the sudden outburst. Nonetheless, I'm not a heartless bitch, so I agreed to let him stay even though the whole situation was very suspicious.
Time skip: 3 months. THIRD POV.
Y/N and Jaemin have gotten close over these three months. Y/N has been feeling weird whenever she thought about Jaemin. She just couldn't put her finger on what she was feeling. She talked to Donghyuck about it, and he explained that she was possibly falling for Jaemin. She didn't know what that meant but didn't want to ask, wary of the judgmental look Donghyuck gave her.
She, instead, resorted to the internet as any 19 year old would. The results were a bit hard to understand, but she eventually grasped the main themes. She realized that Jaemin has been teaching her about love this entire time. Butterflies in your stomach, blushing, feeling nervous around the individual. He explained it all, but she didn't understand until after she figured out her feelings.
Using her newfound knowledge, she began getting even closer to Jaemin, occasionally flirting when she was confident.
Time skip: the day of Jaemin's deadline (Valentine's Day). THIRD POV.
"Y/N, do you feel anything new?"
Taken aback by the sudden question, Y/N blinked, "What? What do you mean?"
"Love. Do you know what love is? Do you feel it?"
Her eyes widened comically, "Um, yes, I know what it is."
"Do you feel it?"
To say Y/N was embarrassed would be an understatement. Nonetheless, she meekly answered, "Yes, I feel love for someone."
Jaemin was shocked, "Confess! You have to confess! Please, you have to confess right now! Call him!"
Y/N looked at him confused, failing to sense to urgency in Jaemin's voice.
"Why?"
"Just do it!"
Y/N closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, "Jaemin, I love you."
"..."
"..."
"..."
Y/N slowly opened her eyes, looking into Jaemin's tear-filled eyes.
"...What?"
"I said I love you."
"You-you can't love me."
Y/N's eyes widened, "Why not?"
"You-you can't love me. We can't be together. If only you loved somebody else..." Jaemin's voice cracked, tears pouring out his bloodshot eyes.
"Why can't I love you?"
"I... I can't tell you. But, I have to go; I completed my punishment. Thank you for falling in love."
Before Y/N could protest and yell, Jaemin disappeared into thin air.
Y/N started shaking, tears welling up in her eyes.
"No... he wouldn't leave me. He wouldn't use me."
She looked through the whole house, not finding a trace of him. His clothes, his uneaten breakfast, his scent. All gone, as if he never existed.
All of a sudden, she heard the doorbell ring. Y/N rushed to the door, opening it so fast the screws almost came loose. She was expecting Jaemin to show up and tell her that it's all a joke, but she came face-to-face with the last person she expected, Lee Donghyuck.
"I- what... what are you doing here?"
"Ouch, can I not be here?"
"N-no, but is there a reason for you to come?"
"Um, yeah? It's Valentine's Day; we always celebrate together because we're lonely potatoes. Y/N, are you okay? You never forget Valentine's Day," Donghyuck said, concerned for his best friend.
Y/N forgot it was Valentine's Day. She was so caught up with Jaemin and figuring out her feelings that she completely forgot.
"Jaemin...!"
"Donghyuck!" Said male flinched, not expecting the sudden outburst.
"Uh... yeah?"
"Did you see Jaemin? Did he show up anywhere on the street or something?"
Donghyuck's eyebrows furrowed, "Jaemin? Who's that?"
"Jaemin! Na Jaemin! The guy you said I'm falling for when I came to you for advice on how I'm feeling."
"Uh, no, you never came to me for advice. And I've never heard the name Na Jaemin. Y/N, are you sure you're okay?"
Y/N's heart quickened, her sight getting blurry. Before she could say anything, she collapsed.
"Y/N!"
Donghyuck caught Y/N, shaking her, "Y/N! Oh my god, are you okay? What's going on?"
Y/N was mumbling incoherent words, blabbering about how she was used. Donghyuck had no idea what she was talking about but didn't like it. He felt angry hearing that this Jaemin guy stole her heart.
Donghyuck wanted her to forget Jaemin, and the only way to do that was to smash his lips onto hers.
Y/N's eyes widened, her breath taken away by the soft lips on hers.
Closing her eyes, Y/N slowly kissed back, forgetting about everything else.
Donghyuck broke the kiss, hooded eyes and heavy breath inviting Y/N to kiss him once more. Before she could place her lips on his, he spoke, "You still like Jaemin?"
"Who?"
Donghyuck smirked, "That's what I thought," and they molded their lips together, only stopping for air before continuing their make-out session.
Two cupids failed, but two hearts still became one.
________________________________
Sheesh, I don't know how this went. Do you guys prefer the sad version or this one?
The last line is supposed to say that both Jaemin and Johnny failed to shoot their arrows at Y/N and Donghyuck. Johnny said that Donghyuck had eyes for someone else (it was supposed to be Mark), but Mark went back home to Canada, leaving Donghyuck lonely and in need of love. Donghyuck could hear the altercation between Jaemin and Y/N and decided to ring the bell because he knew Y/N would go into hysteria if he didn't distract her. Seeing Y/N talking about another man (Jaemin) made him realize that he wanted her all to himself and that he wasn't happy hearing that Y/N liked someone else.
I hope this makes sense! Don't forget to like and comment!
Thank you for reading! -Nina<3
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You & Me : chapter 23
A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his.
-4.9k
-im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it.
-there WILL be smut. but not only smut.
-this is a romance, comedy, smut story.
-for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- notes: its a bit longer. and i hope its not too much or too exaggerated? anyway, you tell me. i really want to know what you really think, thank you!
if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)
requests! : only one, no spoiler :)
Chapter 23 : His chapter
NIALL
I woke up with dried tears and the sun peaking through the curtains. I had no idea what time it was but Olivia was still pressed against me and I was holding her close, as if we hadn't moved at all during the night. I moved my face in her hair, smelling the honey and vanilla scent, before leaving a kiss on top of her head. She moaned low and moved closer, rubbing her nose on my neck.
"Mm, Niall." she whispered, making my lips curl.
I didn't know how she'd ever marry an other man after everything we went through and I didn't want to believe I was just some sort of friend with benefits that she used to have a 'fun time' before marrying someone else and spending her life with him. That was not the type of things she did and there was no way this made any sense. She didn't mention it, though, and didn't want to put any kind of pressure on her. She knew how I felt and I'd keep telling her until she'd make it clear she didn't want to hear it anymore.
"'Morning, petal. How did you sleep?" I asked, keeping my voice very low.
"With your song in head." she admitted just as low, leaving small kisses on my neck. "You really wrote that for me?"
I opened my eyes and pressed my cheek on top of her head. "I was not expecting to see you at the bakery that day, but if I had known, I would have expected my feelings for you to be exactly that. I knew I was still in love with you, Olivia. I knew when I broke up with you, and I knew all the time we were not together."
We remained quiet and I felt her fingers on my back, holding me against her, as if i wanted to move away anyway. Her warm and naked body against mine felt so good I could have stayed in this position all day.
"If you were always in love with me, Niall, why did you leave me?" she asked low, her voice almost cracking. "Why was everything else so important? Why did you need to be single and fuck around? Why wasn't I enough?"
I closed my eyes tight again and swallowed hard. Her questions were legit and my answers were sad. I squeezed her harder against me and licked my lips, trying to find the right words.
"I was selfish, and stupid. Honestly, Olivia, a big part of me knew you were unhappy. You were always hurt by stuff online or by the things I did and said. I felt like you wanted out and that eventually you'd end up hating me and leaving anyway. I left because your heart was in this relationship but your head was driving you insane."
She pulled away and her eyes met mine. She was frowning, her lips parted, and she shook her head.
"What?" she whispered, making me close my eyes again and sigh. "You're either trying to put this on me or you're literally telling me that you left because you thought that's what I wanted. I mean, you don't get to make that decision for me, Niall."
"I know, I mean I should have told you but-" she pulled away from me and sat in bed before rubbing her eyes. "I mean, Liv, It's true, you were miserable with me."
"Maybe because you kept flirting with every fucking girl you met!"
She got up and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and something twisted in my stomach when I realized she hadn't picked the one I was wearing the day before. She was pissed, or hurt... or both.
"I know, I know I was wrong. I would never do that again."
"Well, I don't know if I believe you." she let out, grabbing her phone and getting out of the room.
I sighed and got up too, putting pretty much the same outfit as her and following her to the kitchen as she grabbed a water bottle in the fridge and started drinking from it.
"Olivia, I haven't flirted with anyone since.. I can't remember, but it's been months."
"What about in a year, Niall? When you'll be tired of me. When you'll be tired that I'm the only one you get to see naked, the only one you get to fuck. What will happen, then?"
Her tone was harsh and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared at her. I could understand how she felt, and at the same time, I knew she was aware that I was not the same man than I used to be.
"That will never happen again. Never." I let out seriously. "I will never get tired of you."
Her eyes softened for a few seconds but she quickly frowned again.
"Anyway that's not the point, you took a decision for me and you should have talked to me about it instead. You can't decide what I want or what I should do!"
"You're right, I can't. But don't you feel better now? You worked so much on yourself, you grew up and matured for the better, and I did too. I love to see you so confident about yourself, look what you accomplished! You have your own tv show, you do something you love and you get paid for it. You're so balanced and you look so happy and you love yourself!" I argued, taking a step closer.
"Okay, do you want me to thank you for it? Thank you, Niall, for breaking my heart."
Her voice was not as harsh and I felt like she knew I was right. I shook my head and sighed, daring to take an other step closer.
"No, you have only yourself to thank. You're the one who did all that. You owe it only to you. And you're right, I was a selfish prick and the fact that you weren't happy with me just comforted me in choosing my freedom over you." I explained gently. "But I love you. I changed. I want to show you that I changed."
She sighed and I was getting mad. I was not really mad at her, I was more mad at myself for not being able to express myself properly, and for the way I acted when we dated. I was pissed because she was right, and because her pain was legit. I was mad because I wanted her back and because I was scared our day was ruined.
"Well love is not everything, remember? It takes more than that." she pointed out roughly. "A lot more."
I felt something explode inside me, like a mix of anger and pain that I was unable to keep inside anymore and I shook my head roughly, throwing my arms up.
"If I could I'd take it back okay!" my voice was loud but I could feel sobs threatening to come out.
"Take what back?" she asked with an annoyed tone.
"That stupid break-up!" I admitted just as loud. "That fucking ridiculous break-up! I'd take it back in a heartbeat if I could! I'd erase it from our history forever! I regret it! It's the biggest regret of my life!"
Her eyes got bigger and her lips parted slightly. She seemed so surprised by my words that it calmed her immediately. I watched her lick her lips slowly, trying to keep my own tears in.
"If you hadn't broken up with me, Niall, you wouldn't know that." she started, this time in a low and soft voice. "You'd still be unsure of what you want, you wouldn't know if you really loved me. You had to lose me to realize that you actually wanted me. Do you see the irony, Niall? Do you realize how fucked up it is?"
I sighed again and walked to her, grabbing a chair and sitting down at the table, my elbows on the table and my face in my hands. I didn't want to fight with her, and I knew we could have a discussion without fighting. I breathed in and out a few times and when I felt calm, I opened my eyes again. She was sitting in front of me and she seemed calm too now.
"It is. It's fucked up." I admitted, staring at her. "I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am, Olivia."
"I already forgave you for that, Niall." she pointed out gently. "I'm sorry for bringing it back."
I let my arms fall on the table and opened my hands, palms up. She looked down and nibbled on her bottom lip for a few seconds before placing her hands in mine.
"Heidi sent me that picture of you in a wedding dress to make us fight but we did it by ourselves." I just said with a sad chuckle.
"It's normal to fight, sometimes, as long as we know how to make up, too." she explained. "We're better at this, aren't we?"
The left corner of my lips raised up. "We were never bad at it, but we're even better now, it's true."
I squeezed both her hands before letting go of one and grabbing the other with both of mine. I turned her hand so her palm was facing up and ran the tip of my forefinger on it gently. After a few seconds, she quivered slightly and my lips curled more. I loved having an effect on her.
"We're gonna have to talk about what we did when we were apart." I finally said, still staring at her hand.
I couldn't help but think about what Heidi told me and for some reason, I wanted to prove her wrong, even if she would never know. Olivia was not the kind of person to push me away for my mistakes. She never did it, and I felt like she never would. She didn't judge anyone and she always tried to make you feel better when you felt at your worst. I didn't want to believe that the bad decisions I took while we were apart would just ruin what we could have now and at the same time, I felt like she deserved to know before anything serious happened between us, if it was ever going to happen.
Her fingers slipped out of my hands as she brought her arms back to her and it made me look up. She was avoiding my gaze and it made me frown. Didn't she want to know what I did without her? Or was she just too scared to be hurt by my behavior that just thinking about that discussion made her feel bad?
"Not now, okay?"
I frowned, a bit surprised by how she literally closed up completely in front of me. It was so sudden that I realized maybe the problem was not what she was going to hear, but more what she was going to say.
"It's important, you know."
She shut her eyes tight and nodded. "I know."
I waited for her to open her eyes again but she didn't and I reached for her wrist over the table. "There's a fair in town, you want to go?"
Her eyes finally fluttered open and her lips curled a bit before she nodded. I realized she was uncomfortable with the discussion I wanted to have but I couldn't help but think it was needed. I was ready to wait but we couldn't push this discussion back forever, and I wanted her to hear it from me and not from anyone else.
"Okay, let's get ready then."
Her smile got bigger and she nodded again before getting up and going back to my room. I got up too and watched her leave, taking her water bottle and swallowing what was left it in. I was not the type to worry but this time, i felt curious and a bit scared. I was nervous to tell her about what I had done but I felt like she was keeping some things to herself too and although she didn't have to tell me what it was, I hoped she would.
When I got back to my room, I heard the shower and smiled despite myself. Without thinking, I took my clothes off and joined her quickly. She chuckled when she saw me but didn't tell me to leave and I quickly took the shampoo, rubbing it in her hair as she closed her eyes, a smile still gracing her lips.
"Your hair's gonna smell like my shampoo now." I said in a low tone. "Makes me sad. I prefer the way it smells normally."
She laughed and her eyes met mine when she opened them before shaking her head.
"Here's a secret I can tell you, Niall James Horan." she started, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "It's not my shampoo that has that smell."
My eyes opened wide and I chuckled low. "It's not?" she shook her head more. "What is it, then?"
This time, she just raised her nose up and took some foam from her hair only to wipe it on the tip of my nose. I raised it up and groaned, making her burst into laughter. She took a step back and let her head fall back to rinse her hair. I stared at her wet body for a few seconds before taking the shampoo again and washing my own hair.
We got prepared and left and this time, we took my car. We stopped at a restaurant to eat even if it was in the middle of the afternoon and ended at the fair a bit after 5. We could already see the sun setting and I realized time always passed fast when I was with her. I motioned to grab her hand without thinking but stopped right on time. It made my heart jump in my chest and I just turned my face to her to send her a smile.
"I like when you wear a cap." she just said, grabbing the front and pulling it down.
I took it off to put it back correctly and she laughed right before apologizing. I was happy to be there with her and I just hoped I wouldn't be recognized. It would just be incredibly nice to walk around holding hands and not holding inside all the affection we felt for each other but at the same time, I knew it was risky for her. Anyway, I was never the one who enjoyed PDA, even if I had derogated from my own rule a few times with her.
"I like when you wear a smile." I replied.
Her traits softened and her head tilted. Her smile turned into a fond one and just for that look, it was worth saying that cheesy line.
"I almost forgot how well you can sweet talk women."
This time, I laughed. "You know that's a lie."
"You're not as awkward as you think you are, Nee." she pointed out with a laugh as she walked towards a booth. "But I admit that your good look helps a lot."
This time, I laughed louder. "Glad you finally admit it." I joked as she quickly ordered cotton candy.
I reached for her hand with one of mine while the other searched through my pants. I handed the guy a bill and didn't send a glance to my ex girlfriend. I knew she was staring at me but I just thanked him and turned around as she followed me.
"I can pay for my own shit." she pointed out as I saw her lick her lips from the corner of my eyes. "But thank you. I also almost forgot how much of a gentleman you are. Well, in public, because in the bedroom you're-"
"Oh god stop!" I laughed, turning to her this time and noticing the large smile on her face.
She laughed too and I rolled my eyes as we walked to an other booth. No matter what we did together, it was always fun and it made me realize just how bad I wanted to really be with her again.
"So if I win you this pink bear right there, are you gonna sleep with it?" I asked with a smirk.
She tilted her head but moved her chin up and I kept looking at her as her eyes got smaller. She brought her finger and tapped her chin a few times, pretending to think and I rolled my eyes again at how dramatic she could get. I should have known she'd be a good actress.
"Yea definitely." she finally replied with a nod. "He'll sleep right between us so I can cuddle with him."
I raised my eyebrows and my head moved back. "Well in that case, I think we're just gonna try a few rides and leave him here."
I put my hands in my pockets and pretended to leave until she reached for my arm. "Noo, no, I will leave him on the nightstand when I'm with you."
I stopped and smiled big, amused by her behavior and finally turned back to her before nodding slowly. "Alright."
It took me 3 tries but I finally got it and handed it to her. Her smile got bigger and I could swear I saw a hint of red on her cheeks but I didn't mention it. She grabbed it and held it close to her as she was nibbling her bottom lip and she mumbled a 'thank you' that made me chuckle.
"You could have just paid to get it you know." she pointed out after a few seconds. "It would have costed you a few dollars but you didn't have to really play the game."
"Wouldn't have been the same would it?" I shrugged, sending her a wink. "Wouldn't have been as romantic." I made a pause. "And cheesy."
She laughed and my heart jumped in my chest, almost escaping from my throat. She kept the damn bear with her in all the rides, holding it between her thighs and even if she was not a big fan of rides, we did a few gentle ones. It's only when it was really dark outside that I noticed how she was looking at all the lights. She grabbed her phone and started taking pictures before turning to me and snapping one of me. It took me by surprise but I pulled her closer and grabbed her phone before taking a selfie of us. I took a look at it and held my breath when I looked at her. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were shut tight and her nose was up, and it reminded me of a selfie she had sent me when we were dating and I was traveling Asia. I quickly sent myself the picture from her phone and handed it back to her.
We remained in silence and kept walking. I had to leave my hands in my pockets to make sure I wouldn't just bring her close to me and when she pointed the ferris wheel, I raised my eyebrows at her.
"I thought I was cheesy but you're the queen."
"How about you be me king and come with me? I'd love to kiss you without anyone seeing." she admitted in a very low tone. "You in?"
"People normally go there for the incredible sight we get at the top."
"I have an incredible sight right here, in front of me." she confessed, making me chuckle. "Please, Niall."
I was just playing with her, there was nothing I wanted more than to kiss her at the exact moment, and it seemed like it took forever until we were at the top. I watched the dark sky and all the neon lights around the fair for a few seconds before turning to her and quickly kissing her. I felt all my body relax, like I had been waiting for this moment all day, and when she whimpered in my mouth, I groaned too, holding her cheeks with both my hands. When we started going back down, I stopped kissing her but leaned my forehead against hers, still cupping her face. We finally got out of the ride and that's when trouble started. I noticed someone take a picture and my heart skipped a beat.
"What the..."
"What's wrong?"
"Fuck, Liv, we have to go." I whispered, grabbing her arm gently and leading her to the exist as quick as I could.
I glanced behind us until we were in my car and started it, driving away from that place and looking in the rear view mirror a few times. I only relaxed when I was sure we were not followed and noticed she was staring at me, her head leaned on the seat.
"I'm sorry." I let out with a sad smile.
"Are you doing this for me?" she asked, blinking a few times and ignoring my apology. "I mean I know you don't like to be seen in public and pictures being taken and all, but did you leave quickly like that because I'm supposed to marry someone else and you were scared people would talk shit?"
"Mostly, yea." I just admitted as I brought my eyes back on the road.
We remained silent for a few minutes and I had no idea what was going on in her head until I heard her voice again.
"I love you, Niall Horan."
----
We were exhausted when we came back to my place and I just rushed to the kitchen to pour us two glasses of white wine. She followed me, putting her pink bear on the table as I handed her a glass. She drank half of it but she weirdly seemed serene and calm. I thought she'd go crazy knowing that someone had taken a few pictures of us but she didn't seem to care at all. It's not like she was not used to it but at the same time, she never liked it and it always bothered her, making her current behavior even more intriguing.
"Okay, tell me, I'm ready." she just said after exhaling deeply. I frowned at her and she pressed her lips together. "Tell me what you did that's so horrible while we were away from each other."
In the morning, she was the one who didn't want to talk about it and now, it was me. Perhaps I just didn't want to ruin such a perfect day. I pulled a chair and let myself fall on it but instead to sit in front of me, she sat at the end of the table and turned her chair sideways to face me. I took my glass and moved it a bit only to watch the pale liquid move in it.
"I slept with some girls before I started dating Heidi, but I couldn't find what I was looking for until I met this girl at a bar. She was shaped like you, had your hair color and your smile and in the dark, she could have been you, you know? I just... I let out your name while we were fucking and maybe I had to pay her to keep her mouth shut."
"Are you... sure she was not just a prostitute?"
I looked up at her with a small smile. "No."
"Oh." she pressed her lips together. "Was she as good as me?"
I chuckled sadly and shook my head. "No one is."
I remained silent for a minute or two, trying to make sense of my thoughts before continuing.
"I tried a few drugs. You know it was never my type but I needed to sort of... get away. One time Heidi had to pick me up at your old apartment because I was hitting the door and screaming your name in the middle of the night but you had already moved out." I scoffed at myself, I couldn't believe how pathetic I had been. "I'm not gonna get into details but I also started a fight in a pub. Just hit some arsehole that said something about you."
"What about me..."
"Something sexual that's clearly not worth repeating."
"It seems like you did many things that were out of character." she said cautiously. "But that's what you wanted, right? Try new things and just live your life? Why do you regret it?"
"Because nothing was worth losing you, Olivia." I admitted a little louder, looking up in her eyes as her face softened again. "I was miserable. I was a pathetic piece of shit. I know you probably think low of me now but I just, I had to tell you."
Her eyes dropped slowly to her lap and she nibbled on her bottom lip nervously. I waited, feeling suddenly anxious, scared that she'd just get up and leave, or tell me that she couldn't go on with me, but when she sniffed and rubbed her fingers on her nose, I realized she was crying.
"I remember when I saw the first picture of you and Heidi online. The article said you two were dating now and she was kissing you." she let out in a very low tone without looking at me. "I was alone at home and I started crying. It made me realize that it was really over, it made me believe that you were over me, that the problem was not that you wanted to be single, but just that you didn't want to be with me. I cried so hard I couldn't see straight and I just... I went to the bathroom and I..." she sighed and swallowed again, closing her eyes this time. "I just swallowed all the fucking pills I found. I swallowed them all and lied down on the floor for so long I couldn't keep track of time. All I can remember is the tiles being very cold and the stomachache. It was so intense I couldn't move and It was literally the only thing that stopped me from falling asleep."
I listened to her as my eyes watered. I felt nauseous but I just swallowed hard, feeling a big lump on my throat. I could barely believe what I was hearing. I hadn't heard anything about that and to me, she always seemed so happy when she was out with my friends, even after we broke up, it was hard to believe she was sad enough to do something like that.
"Louis found me. I remember he let out so many curse words, even for him. He searched for something but couldn't find anything to make me throw up so he just sat me up in front of the toilet and pushed his fingers down my throat. Nothing had ever hurt me like that. I think I threw up for a solid ten minutes." she added, shaking her head, her eyes still closed. "Then he called his doctor and he drove me there."
I was crying. I had actual tears rolling down my cheeks but I couldn't move. I felt angry and hurt but also extremely guilty.
"Why the fuck did you do that, Olivia?" my voice was a simple murmur and I swallowed again. The lump was so big that it hurt. "Do you... did you think about how sad everyone would have been, including me? You would have left me alone in this stupid world without you?"
This time, she looked up at me and I noticed she was crying too. When she saw my tears, her face changed but she just licked her lips and sniffed.
"You left me first."
Slowly, I got up, feeling very weak, my legs wobbling slightly. I knelt in front of her and put my hands on her knees, looking up in her eyes. I had been so close to lose her forever and I didn't even know. Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't Louis tell me anything?
"I don't want you to ever do that again, you hear me?" I tried to be firm but my voice cracked as I kept crying and suddenly, I burst into tears, leaning my forehead on her thigh. "Don't you fucking do that ever again." I added, my mouth pressed on her jeans.
I felt her hand slide gently in my hair and the contact of her skin with mine was soothing. I turned my head to lean my cheek on her thigh and catch some air as both of my hands gripped her tight.
"I'll never do it again, Niall. I was depressed, I took antidepressants after that, and I survived this." she explained low.
"Promise me, Olivia." I asked before looking up at her. "Look me in the eyes and promise me you will never fucking do that again, no matter what happens."
She held her breath and I knew she was on the verge of tears too. She finally nodded and I gripped her thighs harder.
"I promise, Niall. " she breathed. "I swear on my love for you."
#niall horan#niall horan story#niall horan fluff#niall horan smut#niall horan writing#niall horan fanfic#niall horan fan fic#niall horan fanfiction#niall horan fan fiction#my fanfics#yam#im stressed i hope its not too much
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Strawberry Cream and BBQ - 22
Pairing: Hybrid Hoseok and Human Reader
Overview: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected.
Word Count: 7,484 (holy fuck y’all)
Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Future smut, Angst, Best friends to Lovers
Warning: Angst and Fluff for this week y’all.
Master List
Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 (Final) - Move in Day: A SC&BBQ Drabble
©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.
Sipping your coffee, you followed Johnny as he led the way to the library. It was taking longer than expected. Apparently, your ferret hybrid friend was more popular than you realized, having to stop so he could have a brief conversation with each person who came up to say hi and catch up.
“I don’t even know this many people,” you whined after he had stopped yet again to talk to someone.
Johnny shrugged, holding the library door open for you. “What can I say? The people love me.”
You snorted. When he narrowed his gaze at you, you took another sip of coffee and pretended to be interested in the DVD’s that were in the bookcase next to you.
“Anyways,” quickly turning on his heel, he headed towards the Stacks, his footsteps echoing in the empty stairwell. “Thanks for coming with me. I swear this research paper is going to kill me.”
“You’re not allowed to die on me until the semester’s over.”
That got a chuckle out of him. “Will do. By the way. How’s Hoseok?”
Raising an eyebrow, it was your turn to lead Johnny, showing him the way to the hybrid section. He had recruited you for this sole purpose, along with allowing him to bounce ideas off of you and to keep him company.
“He’s good.” Making a left and going up another staircase, you waved your hand to the bookcases that were specifically about hybrids. “He has work today, and then he’s staying late for practice. His solo in the show is coming up and he’s still honing in certain moves, so I’m bringing dinner to him tonight.”
“Aww,” Johnny ruffled your hair as he walked around you, his gaze immediately searching for the books he wanted. “The two of you are so cute, already acting like a mated couple.”
His play on words made you laugh as you walked further, setting your purse and coffee down on a table that was nearby and claiming it. “I wonder why that is,” you joked, tying your hair up into a ponytail, making the mate mark visible.
“Looks like it’s all healed now.” He handed you a stack of books he was holding and without being asked, you brought them over to the table for him. Out of habit, you reached up to gently rub the mark, softly smiling now that it didn’t hurt to the touch.
“I know. I was kinda getting worried. It just seemed like it was taking so long to heal.”
“Well he did bite you,” Johnny explained, snickering as you smacked his arm once he joined you at the table, setting another pile down. “Again, it’s different for everyone receiving the mark. Nobody has the same body type, and since you’re not a hybrid, your body heals at a slower rate than ours would.”
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and it wasn’t until Johnny glanced up at that he continued to explain. “Since our DNA is combined with that of an animal, we heal a little faster than humans. It’s nothing special though. It’s not like if I were to get a cut on my leg that it’d be gone in an hour.”
“Oh, so not like the werewolves from Twilight then?”
Johnny pressed his lips together, staring down at the book he had open, his head shaking as he made a tsking sound. “Damn Twilight for ruining our hybrid lives.” Looking up for a moment however, he grinned “Why don’t you go ahead and try telling that joke to Hoseok? He is a dog hybrid after all.”
You giggled, reaching over the table for your coffee again. “Nah, my friend Namjoon is a wolf hybrid. I’ll tell them both that.”
The ferret erupted into laughter, nose scrunching up as he leaned back against his chair. “They’ll be hardcore judging you.”
“But their reactions will be worth it,” you pointed out, stealing another sip of coffee before hunkering down into helping him. “So, what are you planning for this paper?”
Hoseok whistled as he walked down the hall to where the front offices were. A week or so ago, an email went around to the dance instructors asking if anyone would be interested in teaching an extra hip hop dance class. It was an afternoon shift and was one of the many free classes that the Dance Studio offered. He wasn’t sure how many kids were planning on showing up – the email mentioned anywhere from ten to twenty – but he knew from past experiences that wasn’t always the case. More often than not, a majority of the kids didn’t show up for fear of being judged, whether it was because they couldn’t afford the class when there would usually be a fee, or because they were hybrids.
Walking into the air-conditioned office, he smiled at his coworkers as he passed, a mixture of humans and hybrids. The class itself didn’t start for another hour, which meant that he had free time to check his emails and eat a snack or two before getting ready to teach. All that time he spent attending the classes the Dance Studio offered, he never once thought he’d be on the other side as an instructor. As much as he owed his life to you and Sue, dancing was his first love.
The way he was able to close his eyes and feel the way his body connected to the music and moved on its own. He loved that while everyone heard the lyrics of the song playing, he heard something else. He heard the emotions, the desperation, the love, the empathy, and he was able to physically portray the story he was being told in a way for others to see. Then when the audience cheered him on, the roaring of the crowd and their applause, well…that’s how he knew he did it right.
He loved every second of it.
“Have you offered him some water?”
Blinking, Hoseok frowned as he turned in the swivel chair to face Jennie. She was a newly hired office assistant and this was only her third week at the Dance Studio. With a file in her hand, she nodded to Carrie, the other office assistant that sat next to her.
“He said he didn’t want one.”
“Who’s this?” Hoseok gently asked, not wanting to be rude about interrupting them.
Jennie just glanced at Hoseok, then pointed out the window to the hallway leading to the front door. Following her finger, his eyes landed on a kid. He was sitting on one of the black chairs with a green backpack held to his chest, staring at the door.
“He’s been there for over an hour,” Jennie said. “He said he was waiting for someone to pick him up.”
Pressing his lips together, he crossed his arms across his chest. The kid had on a red beanie, so the girls weren’t able to realize what he was. But as Hoseok took a deep breath, he could smell it.
He was a hybrid.
The longer he watched, the more he noticed. Every time someone walked by, his grip on his bag would tighten and as the hallway grew loud with the sound and chatter and sudden laughter, he would flinch. His shirt had dirt stains on it and he was willing to bet that the fabric was thin to the touch.
A pang hit his heart as he stood, exiting out of his emails at the same time. His sudden movements surprised the girls, but he waved away their question. “I’ll be back.” He told him, feet already moving towards the door. “I’m gonna walk him home.”
“You know him?” Carrie asked.
Hoseok shook his head. “No, but I know where he lives. Seen him around a few times.”
That was a lie. It was however, enough for Jennie and Carrie to accept his answer without that sympathetic look in their eyes. He made a short detour to his locker, retrieving his keys and wallet while grabbing a few Cliff bars and water bottles along the way.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his coworkers, but he remembered back when he first started coming to the studio. In fact, he had heard more conversations that started with:
“That’s Hoseok. He lives at the shelter, but he’s here more often than not. If you have any questions and don’t know who to ask or where to go, ask him. He knows where everything is and all the regulations.”
Or some variation of that. There was always that mention of him living at the shelter. He came to the Dance Studio to forget that he didn’t have a place to call home, not to be reminded of it.
Double checking to make sure he had everything, he made his way back out to the hallway entrance, not surprised to see that the kid was still sitting there. The closer he got, the easier it was to notice the small lumps underneath his beanie that concealed his ears. “Hey bud,” Hoseok gently spoke, slowly crouching down in front of him so as to not scare him.
The kid flinched as he stared at Hoseok, his small hands clutching the backpack to his chest. He didn’t look to be much older than ten. If he was even that.
Hoseok wet his lips, offering the kid a smile. “It’s alright. I’m Hoseok, one of the instructors here. What’s your name?” He patiently waited for him to answer, not minding that he was staring at Hoseok’s ears or glancing down at his tail. These were the very things that set them apart from the rest of society, but to each other, it made them equals.
“Samson,” the child softly spoke, his arms relaxing around his backpack as his nose scrunched up for a brief moment.
“Well Samson,” Hoseok repeated, smiling at him. “Do you like to dance?”
Samson nodded, briefly looking down at the floor. “I’m not that good at it.”
Tilting his head, Hoseok sniffed, finally catching a feline scent coming from Samson. “Now don’t say that. I bet you’re really good at dancing.”
He shrugged his tiny shoulders, reaching down to play with a loose string coming from the side of his jeans. The beanie he wore started to slide back, revealing blond hair and when he looked back up, his eyes were a deep blue that reminded Hoseok of the ocean.
“Did someone say you weren’t good at dancing?”
Samson’s bottom lip trembled long enough before he pressed his lips together for Hoseok to figure out on his own. His mind went in multiple directions, trying to figure out if it had been another student and what classes had been offered this morning that Samson could have gone to.
Reaching a hand out, he wiped away the tear that fell down Samson’s cheek. “Hey, it’s okay buddy. Did an instructor tell that to you?”
Despite flinching when Hoseok first arrived, Samson leaned into his hand, the hybrid instincts in him taking control. Even though they were different hybrid breeds, Samson was still a child who needed reassuring. “N-no.”
“Was it another kid taking the class with you?” Hoseok gently prodded, noticing how Samson wasn’t as guarded. With another nod from him, he sighed. The Dance Studio didn’t usually have issues with bullying, normally when working with kids they tended to be more understanding and opening to people and hybrids, but there was always a handful that would come in and they would have to have discussions with the classes about bullying.
“She told me only girls can do ballet.”
Pulled from his thoughts, he was surprised that Samson volunteered this information without having to be asked. Ballet though, that did make a little sense. “Well she’s wrong. Boys can do ballet if they want. You know, one of my best friends has been studying ballet since he was really young. He’s branched off into contemporary dancing, but he started with ballet.”
With a little sniff, Samson leaned off of Hoseok’s palm, reaching up to rub at his eyes. “Really?”
“Yeah, Jimin loves to dance. He sometimes stops in when he can and joins in on a class or teaches one.” Getting an idea, Hoseok smiled at the kid. A part of him wanted to reach up and ruffle his hair – he was an adorable child – but he figured Samson was wearing the beanie to hide his ears. “How about this? I can talk to my friend and see if he can come in sometime and help you out. Does that sound like a good idea?”
His blue eyes widened at Hoseok’s suggestion, almost as if no one had ever promised him such a thing before. Like no one had made him a promise, ever.
“But-” Hoseok quickly added, pointing a finger at Samson. “You gotta promise me that the next time someone tells you that you can’t dance, that you won’t listen to them. You shouldn’t stop doing something that you love just because of someone else’s opinion. Okay?”
There was a hint of hesitance in his eyes, but as he stared at Hoseok, Samson found himself nodding with a soft ‘okay,’ and a smile. Maybe it was because Hoseok was a hybrid like himself that he was relaxing, nowhere near as tense like he had been when he first sat down an hour ago.
The front door to the Dance Studio opened again, a stream of sunlight entering the hallway and covering Samson and Hoseok in the light before it closed shut, a group of people walking and chatting towards the locker rooms. It reminded Hoseok of why he originally come over in the first place.
“Samson, do you want me to walk you back to where you’re staying?” He purposely avoided the word home. He wasn’t one hundred percent positive, but he was pretty certain that Samson lived at one of the Adoption Centers. He was too young to be living in the Homeless Center, and Hoseok hoped that he’d never have to live there. That was a life he never wished on anyone, hybrid or human.
He didn’t respond right away. Instead, his small hands clutched at his backpack again as he looked down, prolonging his answer. It was a sight that made Hoseok’s heart crack. He was just a child who deserved much more than this society was giving him. He shouldn’t be living in a place that held so much uncertainty, but in a home filled with love.
Finally, he looked up with hopeful eyes. “Can you carry me? Please?”
Hoseok pressed his lips together to suppress the wave of emotions that wanted to overcome him, not just for his benefit, but for Samson’s. The sadness would have been too much for him to handle. “You bet I can. And before I forget, these are for you.” He held up the Cliff bars that he had almost forgotten about and the water bottles, handing them to Samson.
He watched as the child put them in his bag, and while he did so, Hoseok was able to see in the backpack. Extra clothes, a blanket, and a stuffed teddy bear lay packed away. Just enough to fill the bag but not too heavy that he couldn’t carry it. Please don’t let him live at the Homeless Center, he thought to himself. He’s just a kid.
Once zipped back up, Hoseok had Samson wrap his arms around his neck and as he stood, Samson wrapped his legs around his torso allowing Hobi to hold him tightly. He ignored the whispered conversations that the employees were having about the two of them, instead simply focusing on getting the kid in his arms back to where he was staying.
“So, Samson,” Hobi quietly asked after they were outside. “Do you always hide your tail and ears?”
The little boy had his head resting on Hoseok’s shoulder, tired from the dancing he had done earlier, only now just feeling it since he was relaxed and felt safe enough in Hoseok’s arms to do so. “Yeah. People always stare when they see them. Kids always tug on them too.”
Hoseok winced in sympathy, remembering all to well the tugs he had suffered through growing up. Carly may not have tugged on his tail, but the friends she had over tended to do whatever they pleased to do. Back then, his cries had fallen on deaf ears. “I used to hide my tail and ears too,” he murmured, gently rubbing Samson’s back.
Stopping at the cross walk, he leaned his body weight on his left foot as he pressed the button. The weather was finally warming up and everyone was walking in shorts and tee-shirts, gleefully abandoning the winter jackets for the brief moment. It was just one freak heat wave before the temperatures went back down again.
“Really?”
“Really. For a long time, I was scared. Being a hybrid nowadays isn’t like how it was when I was a kid.”
The light turned red as a white walking figure appeared on the light post across the street, but Hoseok still looked both ways to make sure that there weren’t any speedsters before walking across the street. “It wasn’t until three years ago that I got adopted. She’s really nice and took me in when no one else would look twice at me, and because of her, I was able to meet my mate.”
Samson squirmed and Hoseok tightened his grip on the boy until they were safely back on the sidewalk. He had shifted so that he was no longer resting his head on Hoseok’s shoulder, but straightening up so he could look up the older hybrid. “Mates are real?”
The question was so pure and innocent, that it had Hoseok chuckling. “Yes Samson, mates are real.” Glancing up, he could see the Adoption Center from down the street. With a nod towards the building, Hobi pointed at it so Samson would see what he was gesturing to. “Is that where you’re staying buddy?”
Samson barely glanced at the Adoption Center before quietly nodding, resting his head back down on Hobi’s shoulder as a very soft, cat like mewl came from him. Only ten feet away from where they were standing was an empty street bench. The area wasn’t crowded with foot traffic, so making a change in his plans, Hoseok settled down on the bench and moved the little boy onto his lap.
There was a sniffle as he curled against Hoseok’s torso. Despite the situation they were in, Hoseok couldn’t help it when he smiled. Samson was very much like a little kitten. Hugging him, he gently kissed the top of his head, and waited. What Samson didn’t know, was that the Adoption Center that he was staying at, was the last one that Hoseok had lived in before he decided he had enough. If his memory served him right, it was a fairly decent place with nice people working there. He had simply been at the end of his rope.
“Do you wanna know why I dance?”
It was a random question to pose to a child, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Apparently, that worked, because Samson was looking up at Hoseok with watery eyes. He gently wiped away the tears with his thumb. There were multiple reasons why, but he always remembered the main reason he started dancing in the first place.
“Because it made me feel like I was in control.” Leaning back against the bench, he set Samson’s backpack next to his thigh. “I got sent to multiple Adoption Centers growing up. I was always moving around, and the people, and hybrids, weren’t always nice to me. But when I danced however, it felt like I was the one making the choices and not someone else who thought they knew what was best for me. It eventually led me to meeting people who enjoyed dancing too, and they understood what it was like to randomly bust a move when the right song came one the radio. Dancing is ultimately, what gave me my first family. They weren’t people who decided that I was the right fit for them, but they were people who made me feel like I belonged, and I wanted to be with them. Does that make sense to you Samson?”
Hoseok wasn’t sure how much of this conversation Samson would remember, or even understand despite his attempt to make it simple. But if he had someone tell him something like that – or anything along those lines – when he was younger, it would have made sleeping along in the bedrooms at the Adoption Center a little easier. It would have hurt a little less all those times when families would come looking for a hybrid to adopt but walked right by him.
The fabric of Samson’s jeans bunched up as he leaned forward, bringing his backpack into his lap. Eyebrows scrunching together, he carefully unzipped the backpack, but to Hoseok’s surprise, he didn’t take anything out. Instead he slid the beanie off his head to reveal two small blond and orange cat ears. They twitched after being cooped up in that hat, flicking in every which direction to capture the sounds of people walking, the fluctuation of voices, and beeping of cell phones.
It wasn’t until the beanie was in his bag and was zipped up again that Samson looked at Hoseok. “There’s a guy and girl in dance,” he softly spoke. “And they’re nice to me. They like the Avengers too.”
Giggling, Hoseok hugged Samson to his chest and kissed the top of his head with a scratch at the base of his cat ears; the vibrations of Samson’s purr going through both of their bodies. “That’s good Samson, that’s really good buddy. Next time you come to the Dance Studio, just ask for me and I’ll come visit if I’m not teaching. We can hangout during breaks, and you can bring your friends if you want too.”
After a few more well-deserved scratches, Hoseok gathered Samson on his hip once more and slung the backpack over his shoulder, heading towards the Adoption Center. Upon entering, Hoseok was hit with memories that he hadn’t been expecting. It was exactly like he had last seen it.
The walls were painted a light sky blue as white shelves with trinkets and collars for hybrids lined the walls, organized by specific breed of hybrid. The counter was in the right-hand corner with the register. Behind it, a grandmotherly woman sat on a stool with a clip board in hand as she filled out paperwork. He knew that to the doorway on the left led to the rooms that the hybrids lived in, and from there if he went straight and made a right, he’d be in the common area.
“Samson, wasn’t Angie supposed to pick you up?” The grandmotherly woman raised an eyebrow as she stood up, surprised to see the child being carried in by another hybrid.
Samson simply shrugged, his arms tightening around Hoseok’s shoulders for a brief moment. “I don’t know, Carrie brought me there, Mrs. Gilly.”
Mrs. Gilly sighed, sparing a glance at Hoseok. It wasn’t until then that she really looked at him. There was something different about him, a nagging feeling in the back of her mind, but she could have sworn that she recognized him. Hybrids were always coming in and out of the Adoption Center, so it was possible that he may have stayed there, but it was more than that.
Hoseok however, remembered Mrs. Gilly. Her curly grey hair was now straightened and pulled up into a bun on the back of her head, a pair of pencils stuck in to hold it together. Wire framed glasses sat on top of her head, and a coat of red lipstick was painted on her lips. If he got any closer, he’d be able to smell the all too familiar baby powder that was her scent. He was never sure if that was just Mrs. Gilly’s natural scent, or the scent that all old people acquired after turning sixty. She had been one of the few bright memories that he was able to recall from his moving around in the Adoption Centers.
“It’s alright Mrs. Gilly,” Hoseok intervened, not wanting Samson to get into any trouble. “He had been waiting for someone to pick him up, but our staff noticed that he had already been waiting over an hour, so I volunteered to bring him back.”
His voice struck a chord with Mrs. Gilly. She knew that voice, but back then, there had been such resentment lacing his voice. Reaching for her glasses – it took a couple pats above her head before she was able to locate them – Mrs. Gilly slid them back on, and blinked.
“Hoseok? Is that you?” Placing her hand on her chest, Mrs. Gilly smiled as she stepped closer to the counter.
It was his turn to smile, nodding as he moved next to the counter to set Samson’s backpack down. “It’s me, Mrs. Gilly. How have you been?”
“Still doing the same job even though I should have retired about ten years ago,” Mrs. Gilly joked.
Hoseok laughed. Any tension that had been there when entering the Adoption Center slipped out of his shoulders. “You kidding? If you left, this place would never be the same.”
Mrs. Gilly raised an eyebrow, taking a moment to look at Samson before meeting Hoseok’s. “Samson, why don’t you go to your room? You look tired hun.”
Samson, not catching the look that she had given Hoseok, nodded in agreement. He was tired, there was no doubt about that, and taking a nap didn’t sound like a bad idea. With one last hug to Hoseok, and then one to Mrs. Gilly, Hobi lowered him to the ground and handed him his backpack, watching him fondly waddle through the doorway before finally disappearing from sight.
“How did you get him to take that beanie off?” Mrs. Gilly figured that he had something to do with it. “He never goes outside without it on.”
She hasn’t changed a bit, he thought, licking his lips as he scratched the base of his dog ear. With a shrug, he smiled. “Just that I had once been in a similar situation, and that he shouldn’t be ashamed of who he is.”
Mrs. Gilly, a woman who had a heart of gold, gently patted his hand. “Just like how you needed someone to tell you that?”
If there was anything that he knew about Mrs. Gilly, it was that she was always straight to the point, and somehow, she always knew more than what was being said. Crossing his arms, his smile softened as his gaze went back to the doorway. He wondered if his feet would automatically recall the path to his old room that he used to share with the other hybrids at the time. “Honestly, if I hadn’t of left, I don’t think I’d be where I am today.” Without missing a beat, his thoughts wandered back to Strawberry, Sue, his friends and coworkers at the Dance Studio.
He didn’t see it, but Mrs. Gilly was smiling at him. It was obvious that a good life followed Hoseok. Maybe not right away, but it came to him eventually. There wasn’t that resentment in his tone anymore, and if she was seeing correctly, there was a glow around him that came from happiness and love.
Straightening up, Hoseok looked back at her, prepared to ask about Samson, when something caught his eye. There was a rack of brightly colored pamphlets on the wall behind her with bold print. One advertised adopting a hybrid, another for fostering. There were multiple ones for what to do when your hybrid is going through heat or expecting and various other things, but one in particular caught his eye. It was a simple green pamphlet, but what it was advertising made his breath catch in his throat.
What Happens When Your Hybrid Finds Their Mate?
“Uh, Mrs. Gilly? Can I um…can I see that pamphlet? The green one.” He didn’t usually stutter, but his mind raced with all the possibilities, and with everything that had been happening lately, this could very much have an affect on his life with Strawberry and Sue.
Looking over her shoulder, Mrs. Gilly gave him a curious look, but retrieved them pamphlet for him. “For you or for a friend?”
“For my mate and I,” he answered, opening up the pamphlet. “She’s human.”
The pamphlet was broken up into equal sections. The first explained what a mate was to the hybrid and what was expected to happen. The second went on to discuss what would happen if the owner was the mate to the hybrid, but the third…the third was exactly what he was looking for.
What Happens When Your Hybrid Mates with a Human or Another Hybrid?
It is common for hybrids to mate with fellow hybrids, but hybrids can also take humans as their mates.
There are TWO paths that you can take with your hybrid.
The First path, also known as The Mate Act, states the following:
As the owner, you are agreeing to become a guardian to the hybrid.
The hybrid will carry documentation stating who his owner was, but is mated to their mate and lives with them.
The hybrid and their mate are (in the hybrid world) married, so they will be considered a married couple, especially if the mate bears the mate mark.
Any future decisions will be made between the hybrid and their mate.
Paperwork for The Mate Act can be picked up at the Courthouse, doctor’s offices that specialize in hybrids, Adoption Centers, and Homeless Centers for Hybrids.
Signatures from the owner, hybrid, and the mate are required for the paperwork to be processed and can be returned to the Courthouse between the hours 9am-5pm during the week.
The Second path, while not ideal and is for only extreme cases where the owner believes the hybrid will be in danger, is known as The Hybrid Owner Act which states the following:
The owner remains as an owner and retains their rights to the hybrid.
As the owner, you are agreeing to limited contact between the hybrid and their mate.
The hybrid will not live their mate, but will instead continue living with the owner even if the mate bears the mate mark.
The exception to this is when the hybrid is experiencing their heat.
Any future decisions will continue being made by the owner.
If this path is decided, after a period of time for discussion and thinking over, paperwork for the Hybrid Owner Act can be picked up at the Courthouse, doctor’s offices that specialize in hybrids, Adoption Centers, and Homeless Centers for Hybrids.
Signatures from only the owner and hybrid are required for the paperwork. If the circumstances are extreme, only the owner’s signature will be required to be processed and can be returned to the Courthouse between the hours 9am-5pm during the week.
Hope had been building up in his chest when he first started reading, for once it seemed like the law was on the side for hybrids. There was actually a chance for him and Strawberry. The further he read however, it felt like a sledgehammer was hitting his body at every angle possible. As much as he wanted to have faith in Sue, to trust that she would be understanding and accepting, he was afraid that with the option of the Hybrid Owner Act, she would take him away without listening.
Without thinking, he slammed his fist into the counter, eyes squeezing shut in an attempt to calm down as his tail repeatedly hit the back of his leg in anxiety.
Mrs. Gilly jumped at the slam, deciding that it was best if she remained quiet for a moment and letting Hoseok have the chance to think. With that in mind, she opened the drawer underneath the register, shifting through the many packets of paperwork the Adoption Center was required to have on hand. It only took a few seconds to locate the one she wanted, and without speaking, set it next to his hand.
“You know,” Mrs. Gilly softly spoke. “Even though we’re required to have all copies of each form, I always tell people that we’ve run out of the Hybrid Owner Act. There’s no reason for an owner to have that much control.”
Hoseok blinked, seeing the paperwork for the Mate Act sitting in front of him. “She already has my mate mark,” he whispered, his voice cracking as he ran a hand through his hair in a weak attempt to collect himself. “Strawberry…she’s my entire world. I love her, and she loves me.”
Mrs. Gilly, who tried to keep her emotions together for the sake of the hybrids, felt her own eyes water up as she watched that sliver of hope being ripped away from Hoseok. She didn’t know the specifics, but it was obvious from his reaction, that things weren’t exactly perfect at the moment between his owner and mate.
Giving his hand a squeeze, she waited for him to look at her. For a brief moment, it was like she was seeing the old Hoseok. The one who had run away from the Adoption Center all those years ago because he felt unwanted, and wasn’t meant to be loved. “Then you fight for her Hoseok,” she firmly told him. “You fight for your mate, and you never stop.”
An earbud was in each ear playing your favorite song as you entered the Dance Studio that night, carrying a reusable bag in each hand. One held the lasagna that you had finished making for dinner, the other carried the salad, sodas and dishware.
It was around eight, the building was empty as your footsteps echoed in the almost quiet hallway. The music that you had been playing wasn’t very loud, the earbuds were noise canceling but you were still able to hear the music that Hoseok had pulsating in just the hallway.
Carefully removing the ear buds, your footsteps fell on deaf ears as you entered the room without bothering to knock. As enhanced as his hearing was, there was no possible way that even he heard you knocking with the music as loud as it was. Unlike the last time you came with dinner, this time there was a table against the mirrorless wall and two desk chairs.
Hoseok was still dancing as you set the bags down. The lasagna was plenty hot enough to sit out as he finished practicing for the upcoming show. There were only two months left. The music he had playing was unfamiliar, and it was only when you focused on trying to understand the lyrics that you realized it wasn’t even in English, or his typical rap music. It was catchy and you found yourself nodding along anyway, finishing up with the setting the table and tossing the bags under the table as your hips swayed to the beat.
While you were preoccupied, Hoseok was grinning while he watched you dancing in the mirror, trying his hardest to suppress his laughter. He never liked telling anyone that they couldn’t dance – he literally told Samson to never let anyone say he couldn’t dance – but watching you in the mirror, he knew there was no dancing ability running through your blood. Although, his eyes lowered until they solely focused on your hips. You did have a little rhythm going on there.
The song was nearing its end but he hit replay with the remote, smirking when you didn’t notice what he’d done. From the way you were moving your body like the music was controlling your soul, it was obvious that you weren’t expecting him to sneak up behind you. But when you were moving like you were, how could he not?
Only a few steps behind you, he reached out, pulling you against his body by your hips. You jumped at his sudden presence, but he felt you quickly relax, melting against his chest at his touch.
“Shorty give me whip-whiplash,” Hoseok sang into your ear, laughing when you weakly slapped him.
You didn’t turn around. Instead you kept dancing, not caring that the professional was probably hard core judging you and decided to keep going. The song was catchy as hell. Plus, why wouldn’t you want to grind against your mate?
His groan didn’t go unnoticed when you purposely moved like that against his crotch, his grip tightening on your hips as he buried his face against your neck to nibble the mark.
A spark of heat ignited inside at the touch of his lips, your eyes closing as you leaned even more against him. Every time Hoseok touched you, it felt like you were experiencing summer for the first time, feeling the way the sun kissed your skin and made you feel alive. If this was what it was like now, you could only imagine how it would be five, ten, hell, thirty years from now.
The song slowly came to an end, dragging the two of you out of the music haze that you welcomed, bodies coming to a halt until the only thing to be heard in the room was heavy breathing. Breathlessly giggling, you finally turned around to kiss Hoseok, his arms wrapping around you as the two of you shared brief, but multiple, kisses. The only reason you stopped kissing him was because of your smiles that broke almost every one.
“Well hello to you too,” Hoseok teased, stealing one last kiss.
“Come on,” taking his hand, you pushed him in the direction of his chair and sat down in your own, cracking open a can of Coke. “Let’s eat before you decide to give me a dance lesson.”
He scrunched up his nose and shook his head, eyes scanning the food that you spent the last hour or two putting together. “I don’t know baby; I think you may be a little too far gone for lessons. You do know how to move your hips though, and I was very impressed with your show.” His lips curled into his signature heart smile, the same one that sent your heart racing as he held his hand out for your plate to scoop a piece of lasagna onto.
“Shut up,” you shyly spoke, the large smile on your face saying otherwise as you filled a bowl with salad before passing that over to him. The whole scene, while filled with sexualized energy only seconds ago, was still intimate. Intimate in that having a late homemade dinner at Hoseok’s work felt like normal. Like Johnny had pointed out earlier in the Stacks, it reminded you of married life.
You never wanted this feeling to end.
Sensing content and happiness coming from you, Hoseok relaxed even more knowing you weren’t stress or worried in some shape or form. He wanted that to last before he told you the news he discovered. The pamphlet in his front pocket suddenly feeling like a million bricks were sitting on his thigh as he ate. However, that was a fleeting thought.
“Any stories from work today?” You innocently asked. You shifted in your seat, bringing your left leg up onto the chair so your elbow was on your knee as you worked on your salad. He usually saved a few stories about the kids that he taught, whether they were his regular kids or new ones that came in for a specific class, or came in for the first time to dance in general. Plus, after being cooped up in the Stacks with Johnny for the majority of the day, you were curious how his day had gone.
Well, there was a kid, and there was a story, but he wasn’t sure how you’d react to the ending. Pushing around a tomato, Hoseok sighed, leaning against the wall when he finally looked up at you. There was no prolonging the happiness that you were radiating. Reaching into his jeans pocket, he pulled out the folded pamphlet and opened it to the side that pertained to the two of you, setting it next to your plate. “I went to the last Adoption Center that I had stayed at earlier today,” he softly spoke, watching as you took it with curious eyes. “They’re called, The Mate Act, and The Hybrid Owner Act.”
You tilted your head and glanced back up at Hoseok before looking at it. The font was large enough to scan the top part in seconds, gasping as you looked back at him. “Hobi…this…this means that-”
“That Sue would no longer be my owner but my guardian, and I wouldn’t have to live with her.” He softly interrupted. He leaned forward and slid your hand between his palms, a gentle smile making his lips curl up at the corners. “It means that we can live together, that we can move if we decide to, have the traditional wedding like I know you’ve always wanted, and even start a family of our own. That is, if we can take The Mate Act.”
“If we can? Why wouldn’t we take it?”
It was the perfect option for the two of you. This Act guaranteed a future with Hoseok, why wouldn’t you take it?
“Because we need Sue’s signature. But Sue doesn’t need your signature for The Owner Act, and if she decides to take that one, she doesn’t need mine either.”
Blinking in confusion, you watched as Hoseok’s smile slipped until it completely disappeared. In your excitement you had skipped over the second half of the pamphlet, which included The Hybrid Owner Act. Your grip slackened on Hoseok’s hands as you read, and reread, even reading it a third time to see if this was real.
“The Hybrid Owner Act doesn’t apply to us,” you argued, holding the paper up with your free hand. As much as Sue seemed to be acting unlike herself, she wouldn’t…at least you hoped, she wouldn’t go so far to the extreme to cut off contact between you and Hoseok.
Hoseok swallowed the lump in his throat, looking away from you and at the food set out. You had worked so hard to make dinner and bring it to the Dance Studio, working around his practice schedule and understanding how much the annual show meant to him.
“I just want to be prepared,” he answered, his voice strained when he looked back up, revealing how watery his eyes had gotten. “Baby…Strawberry, I don’t know what Sue is going to do. I don’t know if she’ll be pissed or happy, and I am hoping, god I am hoping, that she’ll be understanding. Neither paperwork needs to be signed right away – if need be, we can wait so she can adjust – but if for some reason she picks The Hybrid Owner Act…”
Wetting his lips, he raised your hand to kiss your knuckles repeatedly. He absolutely hated having to have a backup plan for if the worst happened. But all he could think about was what Mrs. Gilly told him back at the Adoption Center. “We’re gonna get a lawyer, and we’ll fight. We’ll fight and if we have to, we’ll fight to have you become my new owner, so that we can be together. But this is only as a last case scenario. Trust me Strawberry, I’m really hoping that we’re only overthinking everything and she’ll understand and be happy for us.”
Your grip tightened in Hoseok’s hold for a second before releasing it. His eyebrows raised at your actions, but when you stood and made your way around the table, he shifted in his seat and opened his arms as you sat on his lap. With a gentle kiss to his forehead, your fingers slipped through his hair to gently scratch the base of his ears. The sensation had him as a puddle at your touch, coming to rest his head on your chest while hugging you. For the first time since your relationship started, you were the one comforting Hoseok, and not the other way around.
“I’m going to fight for us Strawberry,” Hoseok promised, taking your hand to kiss your palm. “I will always, fight for us.”
To say that you weren’t scared was an absolute lie. But as you held Hoseok, you pushed back the tears and focused on him, on being there and reassuring him. “I know babe,” you murmured instead, leaning your cheek against his head. “I know you will.”
It warmed your heart to hear him say that, but you were hoping that it would never come down to that.
#bts hybrid au#Strawberry Cream and BBQ#hoseok#hybrid#hoseok hybrid#hybrid hoseok#bts#bts hybrid#hybrid bts#bts hybrid!#bts hybrid au!#bts hyung line#hoseok dog hybrid#jhope#bts jhope#bts jung hoseok#jung hoseok#BTS j-hope#hoseok x reader#bts hoseok x reader#bts hoseok#bts hobi#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#hybrid j-hope#hybrid jhope#hybrid au#hybrid au!#kpop#kpop fandom
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Hand in Glove - Chapter 21 | Ben Hardy x OFC
A/N: I know y’all probs forgot about this, but I haven’t. Life has just been kicking my ASS relentlessly, but I decided to kick its’ ass back and here we fucking are. Took me about 4 months to finish, but it is what is it. Also, I am a bottle of wine and a half down and not sure how this is going to end up, but let’s pray to the gods that Tumblr ain’t gonna fuck shit up. Dropping mic now.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20
Word Count: ~fucktonK. Don’t judge me.
Warnings: the usual? idk. Ben gets quite frisky, I’ll tell you that much. Also not sure how much of this was beta’d or proofread so fucking forgive me father if I have sinned.
The shrill sound of the alarm and Ben's low, gravelly swearing snapped Annie back to reality. Her eyes fluttered open in the soft light of dawn. She fumbled for her phone on the nightstand to shut the alarm off and look through her notifications. Ben stirred behind her, snuggling as close to her as he possibly could.
"Mornin'..." he murmured and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.
"Go back to sleep, Benny." Annie smiled when he pulled her in and engulfed her in his embrace. "It's too early."
"Frankie needs a walk." Ben yawned. "And you need breakfast."
"I can do both of those on my own."
"You can," Ben nipped at the curve of her neck, "but I won't let you."
The bedroom door edged open, revealing the tip of a snout poking through. A soft whine alerted Ben and Annie that Frankie had heard the two "magic words" Ben had just said - "Frankie" and "Walk" - and was making her presence known. Ben clicked his tongue three times and Frankie came scrambling onto the bed, her entire body swinging from side to side as her tail wagged. She dove right in to Annie's face, licking and whimpering excitedly.
"Oh God!" Annie shook her head from side to side, trying to escape the assault. Frankie had other plans. With a paw on Annie's shoulder, she tugged at her until she was flat on her back and climbed onto Annie's chest, pinning her down. "No! Stop!"
"Franks, I was actually hoping to be the one to give mum a morning snog..." he grabbed the dog and kissed her nose, earning a few licks for himself. "Aw."
Annie seized the opportunity to sit up and stretch her arms high over her head. She slouched down with a slow exhale and gave Frankie a rub behind her ears. Out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted Ben's Suitcase and duffel bag. She sighed and stood up, scratching her cheek as she marched over to the ensuite bathroom and flicked the light on.
"All done packing?" She asked as she examined her sleepy form in the mirror.
"Mhm." Ben shuffled behind her, pulling his sweats up over his hips. "I know, I'm a freak for doing it a week ahead of time."
"You're a freak for a whole myriad of reasons, Mr. Jones." Annie rolled her eyes and chuckled as she squeezed toothpaste onto her brush and then turned to Ben, who waited patiently with his toothbrush in his outstretched hand, nonverbally asking her to please put some toothpaste on his brush, too. "So you're that desperate to leave, huh?"
"On the contrary, my love." He winked at her and squeezed her bum before brushing his teeth.
Annie shook her head with a smile and leaned into his arm, resting her head against it. When they both felt their mouths were foamy enough, they took turns rinsing. Ben decided to finish this morning's ritual with a searing kiss.
"I plan on spending every waking moment that I have left with my girls." He mumbled against her lips before pulling away and walking to the toilet. Lifting the toilet seat up, he pulled his sweats down to his thighs.
"Seriously?"
"What?"
"You're taking a piss when I'm right here?"
"Love, I've watched you give birth." Ben smirked. "Peeing is not half as nasty as that."
"Do you want me to watch you pee, Benny?" Annie smirked back, crossing her arms tauntingly. "Is that a sex thing?"
"Want you to?" Ben pretended to mull it over. "Nah. But if you want to hold it for me..."
"Freak." Annie scoffed and walked out of the bathroom.
"So no?" He called after her.
###
If there’s one thing Annie hated, it was not knowing where time went. One minute she’s shoveling eggs in her mouth in a hurry to leave for work, the next she’s got a baby attached to her boob again and it’s night outside. Annie walked into the bedroom, groggily rubbing her eyes after feeding Rory in the middle of the night. A full moon illuminated Ben, laying sprawled across her side of the bed.
"You stole my spot!" Annie huffed and collapsed onto Ben's side of the mattress.
Ben's arms quickly snaked around Annie and pulled her to him, squeezing her as close as he could to his body. He tucked her head under his chin and mumbled incoherently, wrapping a leg around her as well. Locking her in.
"Ben, I need air!" Annie squeaked against his chest and tickled his sides in a futile attempt to make him move.
"Shh." Ben pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "S'night time. No talking. Just sleeping."
"But oxygen!"
"No," Ben grunted and rolled over, right on top of Annie, careful not to put all of his weight on her. "Imma Human blanket now."
"Hey!" Annie flailed under him before giving up and relaxing, letting his body squish her into the soft bed. "Fine."
"Good girl."
###
Ben sat with Rory on his lap, both looking at the phone with goofy smiles on their faces. He'd just gotten the notification that Annie's series had posted a new story to the Instagram page, followed by a text message that simply said "show Rory".
The story was a boomerang of Annie in full costume, blowing a kiss at the camera lens. The next story was another boomerang, this time of Annie doing 'finger guns' and winking at the camera with her lopsided grin. Rory tried to grab the phone out of Ben's hands, babbling happily.
"So much for daddy-daughter time..." Ben murmured against Rory's soft tufts of blonde curly hair.
While he'd usually spend his day with Rory on Annie's set or with his mates, Ben decided that he needed some alone time with his baby. His departure was mere days away. Although on the outside he was his usual self, internally, he wasn't handling this too well. He knew Annie could sense that and he appreciated her efforts in trying to play it down and pretend everything's alright.
With a sigh, Ben turned the screen off and chucked his phone aside, much to Rory's dismay. She tried to crawl off his lap in pursuit of the device, but was captured and tickled by her father. Ben gently tossed Rory in the air, smacking a kiss to her cheek every time he caught her.
"You know what?" He cooed at Rory, who clawed at his face with her fingers. "We're going on an adventure! You wanna go see uncle Joey and uncle Gwil?"
At the mention of Joe and Gwil's name, Rory squealed. It was so high pitched, Ben couldn't help but blink in awe.
"Did Roger teach you how to do that?"
###
"How are you holding up?"
"I'm absolutely devastated." Joe lamented. "The mere fact that we only have a few days left is just -"
"I was asking Ben." Gwil rolled his eyes, interrupting Joe's rant.
"I'm fine." Ben shrugged and took a sip from his beer. Rory and Frankie played on the floor at Gwil's flat. "Gwil you have to duck, okay? You'll ruin the fort."
"Who's idea was this, again?" Gwil groaned, adjusting the corner of yet another blanket he managed to mess up. "Also, why are we in the fort?"
"If you're going to be grouchy, you can leave the fort, Mr. Lee." Joe stuck his tongue out at the tall man. "No grouchy people allowed."
"I'm not grouchy." Gwil retorted. "Plus, this is my flat, meaning that this is my fort, so I make the rules."
"You do realize that Rory is the actual baby here, yeah?" Ben raised an eyebrow.
###
"How are you feeling?" Mike asked between bites of ravioli during lunch break. "Jonesy all packed?"
"Mhm." Annie sighed and pushed the food around on her plate. "Got his passport extended today, too. Took Rory with him."
"Seriously?" Clara snorted. "He's taking her everywhere?"
"Yep."
"It's sickening." Jamie chimed in. "It's like they're siamese twins."
"Aw," Mikey drawled. "Bet he's gonna miss her terribly!"
"Do you think she'll even notice?" Jamie mused. "She's, what, five months old now? She just figured out she's got hands. She'll be fine."
"She loves her daddy." Annie poked Jamie in his side. "She figured her hands out two months ago, you knob."
"Could've fooled me," Jamie muttered.
"Don't be ridiculous, James." Mike pointed at his co-star with his fork. "She's going to daycare, she'll only see her mama in the early mornings and evenings. She'll notice there's an entire human missing."
"She'll have her uncles and aunties to keep her distracted." Clara winked. "Lucy and I already planned a whole Girls' Day."
"Um?"
"What?" Clara blinked innocently at her best friend.
"Why wasn't I invited?"
"Because you have more work than I do." Clara shrugged. "Gonna do it on my day off, Banana."
"Well, it's just you, Rory and Lucy, then?"
"Well," Clara looked at her plate sheepishly. "And Joe. And Rami. And Gwilym."
"What the actual fuck, huh?" Annie threw her fork down and huffed.
"Hey, you'll get to hang out with these two delicious chunks of mankind all day!" Clara smirked.
"Clearly, the superior chunks of mankind, mind you..." Jamie added, tongue-in-cheek. "We haven't had "us" time in forever, Banana."
"Don't you Banana me!" Annie hissed and turned to look at Jamie. He flashed her his best puppy dog eyes. "Oh, not the face."
"What face?" He feigned innocence.
"You know what face. Don't do the face."
"What," Mikey sighed, mimicking Jamie's expression. "Don't you want to hang out with your own brother and husband?"
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
###
The next day was an entire mess. It started off well enough for everyone involved, really. It’s during the afternoon when things took a really, really bad turn. Ben tried to contain himself while Rory was napping, but his mind was racing. It was a chill day with "the band", as they now liked to refer to themselves.
None of them gave a second thought to the familiar sound of a notification rang through the living room. Then, it was dead silent for what felt like an eternity.
"Well, then!" Rami was the first one to break the silence, turning his screen off and tossing his phone on the coffee table. "Anyone see any good shows lately?"
"Ben? Buddy?" Joe shook Ben by the shoulder. "Dude, you haven't blinked in an hour."
Ben stared into space, his thoughts running wild. It was just a silly, candid, behind-the-scenes picture. Nothing more. However, he couldn't help the bubbling rage. There she was. His girlfriend, snuggled up to her ex-boyfriend turned reconciled-best friend. Her head resting on his chest, tucked under Jamie's chin. Her arm flung around his waist, his arms holding her close. One hand laced through her long hair. They looked so peaceful.
Ben knew how hard they worked. How tired Annie was all the time. How early she got up and how late she came home, trying to get as much work done while Ben was still around to be with Rory. He'd visit the set often, only to find her catching a snooze in her trailer. Stifling yawns between takes.
Yet he couldn't help but feel jealous. There was something beautiful and serene about the picture, especially when both Annie and Jamie were in full costume. The caption was what got to him most - "marital bliss".
"Mate, it's a picture." Gwilym brought Ben back to earth, cutting off his train of thought. "God knows, Clara had her pictures taken snuggled up to just about anything and anyone."
"Marital bliss?!" Ben sneered. "Marital fucking bliss?!"
"They're in costume!" Gwil retorted. "Those aren't Jamie and Annie. Those are Henry and Anne."
"That's Annie." Ben pointed at the screen. "That's how we always fall asleep."
"You're reading too much into this." Rami quipped. "Jamie isn't a threat to you."
"I'm going to be a continent away, while this arse is just lurking around..."
"He's engaged." Rami reminded him.
"It’s a bloody farce of a PR stunt and you know it just as well as I do. It's a sham."
"Why are you so riled up?" Rami's eyes squinted in confusion. "It's a stupid picture. They look pretty in it. End of story."
###
When Annie arrived later that night, Rory was fast asleep and Ben was losing his mind - slamming drawers and cupboards shut in the kitchen, cursing under his breath. He didn't even hear Annie come in.
Annie got a heads-up from Joe earlier that evening, letting her know that Ben had seen the Instagram picture. "He's definitely, 100%, not okay. Brace yourself."
"You alright?"
Ben's eyes shot up and looked at her. He wasn't just angry - he was positively fuming. Annie squared her shoulders, prepared for impact.
"I'm going out for a run." Ben muttered and walked right past her.
Annie followed him to the door, her arms crossed. Her brows knotted, she tried to figure out what to say. It was almost midnight. Ben never pulled an "Annie" before. He never walked out on an argument.
Before Annie could form a coherent sentence, Ben was out the door. She heard him stomping down the walkway, opening the gate. A shrill ringing startled her - he left his phone behind.
Annie took a deep breath and climbed up the stairs to check on Rory. After rubbing Rory's back gently and tucking her in, Annie went about tidying up. She picked up toys - baby's and dog's - and random articles of clothing. She straightened the sheets, organized the mail, stacked the coasters neatly. Anxiously waiting to hear the front door open again.
When it did, Ben walked right up the stairs without giving Annie an acknowledging nod of his head. She was prepared for an onslaught of accusations, but none came. Feeling perplexed, she absently followed him, wishing her stalking presence was enough to make him turn around to look at her.
It wasn’t. Taking his sweaty clothes off, he tossed them in the hamper and went in the shower, leaving the door open. Ignoring Annie's existence all together. Her guilt - not that she really knew why she should feel guilty - was quickly replaced with seething anger.
She stomped into the bathroom, stopping right in front of the glass shower doors. She glared at Ben, her hands on her hips. He started whistling and turned his back to her as he washed himself, suds forming on his skin. This wasn't just a cold shoulder. This was a butt-naked, frigid silent treatment.
"Are you joking?" Her voice bounced off the tiles. "Is this a bloody joke?"
"Had a good nap?" Ben snarled, still not facing her. "Looked refreshing."
"It was, actually." Annie raised a challenging eyebrow. "Woke up feeling recharged."
"Oh, yeah?" Ben turned the water off shook his hair. "Glad to hear."
"You're unbelievable." Annie scoffed as Ben reached for his towel and wrapped it around his hips. "How dare you?"
"How dare I?" Ben's eyebrows were so far up, they almost merged with his hairline. "I'm not the one snuggling my ex!"
"I also snuggled Clara!" Annie hissed. "Let me know when your little hissy fit is over, okay, love?"
"Fuck you, Annabelle." Ben loomed over her, his green eyes boring holes into her very soul. "This isn't a hissy fit."
"What is it, then?"
"I'm leaving, Annie. Leaving. In two days." Ben pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "For months."
"I'm aware." Annie said through gritted teeth. "You're also coming back."
"Will I have something to come back to?" Ben opened his eyes. "You've already replaced me as your sleep-aid..."
"Have you gone absolutely bonkers, Ben Jones?" Annie barked out a laugh. "What are you on about?"
"I'm fucking scared, alright?" Ben hissed.
"Of what?!"
"You!"
"Me?" Annie's eyes were wide. "You're scared of me?"
"Annie, I'll be gone. You'll be fair game."
"I'm not some deer you can hunt!"
"I won't be here to protect -"
"Protect me?" Annie laughed, cutting him off. "From what? The Big Bad Wolf? Jamie?"
"Well, thanks for mocking me." Ben brushed past her, bumping his shoulder with her. "Real mature."
"Ben, you're throwing a fit over nothing!" Annie followed close behind him. Ben unwrapped the towel from his hips and dried off his torso. "I'm not mocking you!"
"We've been going through every aspect of me leaving." Ben chucked the towel to the floor. "What to do with Rory, what to do with Franks, when I'll be back for a visit..."
"I know." Annie sat down on the bed. "We've got this. We're prepared."
"Every aspect except our own bloody relationship. And all this time, you've been so calm about this!" Ben grabbed his head as he sat down next to her. "You've gone on a few benders, yeah, but even then - you were so calm."
"What?"
"Annie, I'm going crazy over this. I'm devastated. Freaking out. I don't want to leave." Ben laid back. "And you? You're acting like everything's fine. Having cuddles with your ex. Looking like…” Ben sighed and balled his hands into fists. “Do you even care that I'm going away?"
Annie took a shaky breath and shook her head, running a hand through her hair.
"You'll have Joe, Gwil, Rami, Clara, Lucy, Mike..." Ben rubbed at his eyes. "Jamie. I'll have no one."
"You know they'll leave for the press tour soon."
"Yes, which I'll miss out on." Ben chuckled bitterly. "You'll still have your own mates with you."
"You'll make new friends."
"I bloody know I’ll make new bloody friends, Annie, It’s not that!" Ben scoffed and mumbled incoherently under his breath. "See? This is what I'm talking about!"
"Huh?"
"It's like you're not even sad about it all!" Ben waved his hands about as he spoke. "You're out there, snuggling your cast-mates, working for hours on end, living your best life -"
"You think I'm not sad about this?" Annie spoke through gritted teeth. "Really?"
"Well, are you?"
"Of course I am!" Annie climbed onto his lap and straddled him. "Ben, are you having a psychotic break right now?"
"You're so cheery and positive and -"
"Because I didn't want to upset you!" Annie smacked his chest. "You blithering idiot!"
"Really?" Ben's voice oozed snark. "Seems like it backfired, no?"
"You're an arse." Annie smacked him again. "You're an idiot and an arse! Who on earth leaves his wi-" Annie huffed just as the word slipped her lips "-girlfriend alone with a baby for months?"
"Annie, stop hitting me!"
"No!" Annie punched him in the arm. "You wanted to see me upset? I'm fucking upset!"
"Annie!" Ben grabbed Annie's wrists and pulled her to him. She braced herself on her haunches to avoid head-butting him. "Stop. It."
"Do you honestly think I'd replace you?" the hurt in Annie's voice was evident. "Do you really think I'd go fuck someone else while you're gone? Jamie, of all people?”
She stared into his eyes, waiting for his answer, but there was none. Annie nodded and started to pull herself up, only to have Ben's grasp on her wrists tighten. She bit the inside of her cheek and tried to pull away again. Ben restrained her, not taking his eyes off hers.
"Ben, let go." Annie's voice was low as she tried to shake her hands free. She stared down at Ben's hands holding her wrists.
"Look at me." Ben squeezed her wrists tighter. "Look. At. Me."
Annie fixed her eyes on him. His usually bright green eyes were clouded and darker, a mixture of sadness, anger and need. He bit his bottom lip as he lowered his gaze onto their hands. All of his sadness, all of his tension had finally reached a boiling point. A crimson flush crept up from his chest to his neck, his muscles clenching with ever jerk of Annie's escape attempts.
"Let go of me. Ben, I’m deadly serious. I hate you right now." Annie hissed, still tense under his grasp. Ben snarled at her choice of words. Annie noticed it and pouted tauntingly. "What, did that hit a nerve? Is that all I needed to say to get a reaction?"
"Shut up."
"Oh, poor Benny. Did I hurt your feelings?" Annie's voice lilted condescendingly. A vicious glint danced in her eyes. "Did you really think you could call me a cheater," Annie's voice was so sweet as she said that, "that you could call me a slag?"
"I never called you any of these."
"You didn't have to." Annie chuckled. "It was heavily implied. Especially when you didn’t even answer my bloody question.” Annie smirked bitterly, tongue in cheek. “So right now? I. Hate. You."
Ben felt as if his entire body is on fire under her. Pins and needles raked through his body, a tingle rushing over his naked skin as they stared each other down.
"Who in their right mind," Annie tilted her head to the side, "leaves their girlfriend and 5-month-old baby for three months and then has the balls to be paranoid about her moving the fuck on without him? Hm?"
Ben clenched her wrists tighter, his upper lip curling up.
"I know who," Annie murmured. "The same guy who'll fail to appreciate his girlfriend's efforts to keep morale high, even though she's hurting. The same guy who's so afraid she'll cheat on him when he's gone, for no fucking reason, other than his own fragile ego, it seems."
"Watch it."
"No, fuck you. Fuck being careful." Annie retorted. "What will it take for you to stop being an undercover jealous prick? Huh? What, do you actually need to mark me as your territory?"
Ben's cock involuntarily twitched at the thought, grazing the crotch of Annie's leggings. Making their eyes lock on each other again. Sending a flurry of butterflies loose in both of their bellies.
"Oh, you can't be serious." Annie scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Unbelievable."
Ben licked his lips and made his move. Now that Annie was distracted, he used his body weight to roll them over and pin her down to the bed under him. His green eyes burned with raw need.
"Shut. Up." He grunted as she tried to wriggle her way out from under him while he held both of her wrists in one hand, up over her head. "Stop it."
Annie's breath hitched when Ben ground his hips into hers, his erection rubbing her inner thighs. He kissed her searingly and growled when she moved her head, pulling her lips away.
"Did I say you can move?" He whispered, his grip tightening on her wrists as his hand worked its' way to her legs. He kissed her again, physically taking her breath away, pushing her leggings down. She pulled back, gasping. "Do. Not. Move."
"Air!" was all Annie could whine before his lips crashed onto hers again, muffling her moans.
"Do I need to punish you?" He whispered against her lips, his free hand snaking under her t-shirt. "Don't move. Be quiet. Don't want to wake the baby, now, do we?"
Annie shook her head slightly, looking up at Ben with big, doe eyes.
"Good girl." Ben cooed and nuzzled the crook of Annie's neck before pulling her shirt over her head, bunching it on her arms. "Do you hate me, still?"
"Mhm." Annie smirked.
"Guess I'll have to change your mind, then." Ben ground his hips down again.
###
After waking up all alone in their bed in the wee hours of the morning, Annie's sock-clad feet padded softly on the hardwood floor as she shuffled to the living room. She paused at the doorway, looking at the back of Ben's head. The soft, colorful light from the TV illuminated him like a halo. His head propped up on his closed fist, his arms on the back of the sofa.
Sensing her presence, Ben glanced over his shoulder and nodded his head, beckoning Annie to come to him. Smiling, she closed the distance between them and curled up on the soft cushions next to her boyfriend. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her onto his lap before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"Baby monitor?" He mumbled against her hair and smiled when Annie reached in her hoodie's pocket and pulled it out. "Did she give you a hard time?"
"My arms are dead."
"She wouldn't let you put her down, then?"
"Does she ever?"
"Solid point."
"What are we watching?" Annie blinked at the bright screen in front of them and groaned when her face appeared on the screen. "Oh, no."
"I have a lot to catch up on, okay?" Ben tickled her sides as she buried her face in his chest. "I'm not sure I'll have time to binge on this while in Arizona, you know."
"Why do you need to binge on this at all?" Annie's muffled voice whined.
"Because." Ben shrugged.
"Right, then." Annie leaned back and grasped at the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt. "You won't mind me binge-watching East Enders, then?"
"You do what you gotta do." Ben sighed and leaned forward.
He grabbed his cup of tea off the coffee table and took a long sip. Annie's gaze followed his every move.
"Ben?" Annie tilted her head as she bit her bottom lip.
"Yeah, love?"
Annie caressed his cheeks as a million thoughts stormed in her mind. A sad smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
###
For the life of him, Ben couldn’t figure out how on earth it was night again. It seemed like everything was moving on double speed, nonstop. Exhausted, he laid sprawled on the bed like a starfish, with Frankie gently nibbling at his toes. One arm draped lazily over his eyes, the other tucked into his sweatpants waistband ever so slightly. The TV was on but on a low volume. Background noise.
He felt Annie's presence while his eyes were still closed, lurking at the doorway. He opened his eyes just a crack, enough to catch a quick glance of her face, and could feel his how his heart is breaking just from her expression alone.
"Don't give me that look."
Annie blinked and shook her head lightly as if her mind was an etch-a-sketch and she could just erase whatever thoughts popped up so Ben wouldn't see what they were. Considering that this very night would be Ben's last night at home, they both walked on eggshells, high on the tips of their toes.
"What look?" Annie asked sweetly and walked over to the bed. Ben stretched out his arms, inviting her in for a cuddle. "I wasn't giving you a look."
"Must've been imagining, then..." Ben mumbled with a sigh. He raked his fingers through her hair lazily, enjoying the warmth her body radiated. "Banana?"
"Hmm?" Annie purred and snuggled up as close as she could.
"I'm sad."
"I know." Annie propped herself up on one arm. “I’m sad too.”
“I need to you promise me something.”
“Ben, for the last time, I’m not going to cheat on you with Jamie!” Annie poked his side. “I swear, I’ll only cheat on you with Joe.”
“That’s not what I was going to say and you would never!” Ben grabbed her wrist gently. “Promise me you’ll always text me good night and good morning if you can’t call.”
“I promise.” Annie smiled.
###
“You know what?” Ben stopped in his tracks on his way to queue for his flight check-in, “I think I’ll stay.”
“The hell you are, Ben!” Annie moved Rory over to her other hip. “She needs toys! And food! And diapers!”
“But Arizona is so bloody far!”
“Jesus Christ, not this again.” Gwilym chimed in and handed a bottle of Coca Cola to Ben. “Be a big boy, now, Benny.”
“God, I’ll miss you.” Ben sighed, his eyes closed.
“I’ll miss you too, babe.” Gwil replied instead of Annie.
“Do you two lovebirds need a minute alone?” Annie snorted. “I’ll miss you too, Ben.”
“And I’ll miss you the most!” Ben cooed and grabbed his baby, kissing every exposed inch of her skin.
“Thanks, love.” Annie sipped from his Coke. “I really appreciate that.”
“Ben, you’ll miss your flight, mate.” Gwil scratched his head as he looked at the huge departures sign. “You better hustle.”
“I’m staying.”
“Go!” Both Gwilym and Annie barked at him.
“I love you.” Ben murmured, his lips pressed to Rory’s cheek. “Take care of mum, yeah? Be a good girl?”
“Are you -” Gwilym tilted Annie’s head up to get a better look, “are you crying?!”
“Shut up!”
“Oh, fuck.” Ben’s eyes locked in on Annie’s face, prompting a wave of tears from his own eyes. “We said no tears!”
“Stop it, Ben!” Annie pawed at her cheeks to wipe off her tears. “No crying!”
“Goddamnit!” Ben hissed and shrugged one shoulder, wiping his tears on his hoodie. “Alright. Alright. No crying.”
“I think this is the perfect moment to separate the two of you.” Gwilym said, taking Rory from Ben’s arms and bouncing her on his hip. “Come on, children. Just like we practised.”
Annie leaped up and wrapped her arms and her legs around Ben, holding on for dear life. They kissed, one last time, their tears mixing together. Ben squeezed his girlfriend as close to him as he could and inhaled her scent as he pressed a thousand kisses all over her face.
“I’ll call you as soon as I land.” He whispered in Annie’s ear. “I love you.”
###
TAGLIST: @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @qweenly @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @justgivemethekeys @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @rogerspoison @deacy-dearest @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod
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safe | l.mk
pairing: mark lee x reader
genre: angst with a happy ending
warnings: swearing, underage drinking, marihuana, slight age gap, making out
description:
Mark’s kisses were warm, and they were comfort and they were safe. And that night, you realized how much that scared you.
ib: girls your age - transviolet
word count: ~2.3k
Pink hues. Strobing lights. Drinks sloshing over the rims of red solo cups. Clouds of smoke.
You’re high the first time you meet Mark. Your blissed out mind poorly directs your body over to the boy standing in the corner of the room, red cup in hand but it seems to be just a decoration. Something to help him blend in, mix with the crowd, you assume. He looks older than your friends and he doesn't seem too interested in the party around him. You wonder why he chose to come if he was just planning on lurking in the corner.
You giggle into your hand as you lean on the space of wall beside him. He seems taken aback, eyes widening almost comically when he meets yours. You smile goofily. Your brain was still very much out of it and everything amused you.
“You don’t seem to be having too much fun.” you say with a pout, poking his chest to put emphasis on the word “you”. He doesn't flinch away at your touch but he eyes you cautiously as he looks up from you extended finger. “I guess not.” he chuckles nervously and your stomach does a little flip at the sound.
You chalk the weird feeling up to mixing alcohol with weed. You don’t do feelings. You just, don't. You smile at him though. And then you take his hand and tilt your head towards the crowd of people dancing. “Do you wanna dance?”, your words slur together just a little, “Maybe then you'll finally have some fun.” His eyes flit to the dance floor, and for just a second there's a flicker of fear in them. Then he directs his gaze back to you, his eyes staring into yours. His gaze is so intense and so...deep that you almost want to turn away, to look anywhere but his eyes. But for some reason you don't. Everything around you is slightly blurred but yet the boy in front of you is crystal clear. His eyes are a deep dark shade of brown. They seem endless. They give you the feeling of falling, of falling with no end, falling into a deep abyss. And yet there is no fear of hitting the ground. “Okay” he breathes out after what feels like an eternity. It takes you a second to react, as if you were coming out of a trance. You take his hand and lead him off to dance.
You learn a lot more about the mysterious boy after that night. You learn that his name’s Mark Lee, that he recently moved to the town, that he's from Canada. You learn that you were right about him being older. He's 19 and a first year in college, making him two years older than you. You also learn that he was born on the 2nd of august, a leo, and that his favorite snacks in the whole world are watermelons. (You buy him a baseball cap with a watermelon on it when you spend a week in Cali and he’s ecstatic when you gift it to him.)
That's another thing you learn about Mark. He’s caring and happy and bright and positive energy seems to surround him. He's the guy that everyone wants to be friends with. The guy all the girls have a crush on. A true and completely pure sweetheart.
You were the opposite. It's not like you tried to be negative about everything. You just kept to yourself most of the time, you didn't like to let people know too much about you. Often times, you came off as cold, as distant, as rude. The truth is you were just scared. Scared to let anyone in. your life at home was a living hell too, so you liked to drink ad get high and make out as parties. It made you forget. It made you happy. Or at least, your own little twisted version of happy.
Mark knew you had been high off your ass the first time he met you but that didn't mean he approved of your behavior. He mostly kept his disapproval silent though, he didn't want to constantly fight and honestly, he was tired of trying to get you to change your ways. But of course he worried. He worried because he cared. Because you were his friend.
Friends, yes. You were friends, but also something more. That night at the party you had made out in the bathroom. You had continued to make out several times over the months that followed. Sometimes at his place, sometimes at yours. Sometimes at a party or in the bathroom of the diner where you hung out with him and his friends. Sometimes, you made out in his car at 3 in the morning when you couldn't handle being at home and called him up at that ungodly hour. Voice strained and eyes teary.
Mark would ask whats wrong, he would want to talk about it, to help in some way. You would brush him off every time. Just like you would brush off any talk of feelings, or dating or anything to do with the term “official”.
There were times where Mark just wouldn't relent. You were straddling his lap. Fingers bunching up his jean jacket in the backseat of his 1965 Buick Riviera (“A family heirloom. It used to belong to my grandfather. My dad passed it on to me on my 18th birthday.”). You desperately tried to kiss him but he dodged every attempt. “No, y/n. We are not kissing until you tell me what's wrong.” His gaze was firm, hands planted secured on on each side of your waist. You sighed heavily but you knew you weren't going to get anywhere soon if you didn't tell him at least something. You got off his lap and sat in the seat next to him.
“Its my parents, ok? They never stop fighting and it's a mess. And somehow I always get dragged into it. It's part of the reason why I like going out so much. I just really hate having to hear their shouts all the fucking time when I’m home. I think”, your voice is gravelly and you take a steadying breath, “I think if i had to spend anymore time in that house than I already do, I would go insane.” You end with something akin to a chuckle. When you look up at Mark, there's sympathy in his eyes together with an underlying sadness, and there's something else there that you don't want to label. You can't stand it.
You lean forward and press your lips to his neck. “y/n…” he warns. You continue kissing up his neck, drawing closer to the sweet spot under his ear. “Please Mark”, you plant a kiss at the end of his jaw before continuing, “can we just not talk about it?”. You nibble at the sensitive spot near his ear and hear him exhale a sigh above you. You smile a little, you know you've won at this point. “Fine”, he groans when you suck at his sensitive flesh, “but promise me you’ll talk about it with me some other time, yeah?” He moves your positions so you back on his lap and he can look at you. “Promise”, you say, but you know full well you don't mean it and from the hurt look buried deep inside his eyes, Mark knows it too. There’s guilt clawing at your insides. You didn't like lying to Mark, making promises that the both of you knew you weren't gonna keep. Mark deserved better. That, among other things, was one of the reasons you would never date Mark. He deserved someone so much better. Right now, however, you didn't want to waste any moment with Mark, so you crashed your lips onto his.
Mark’s kisses were warm, open mouthed and languid, hot breath mingling with your own. Only growing needy when you moved to pull away, needing to catch your breath as Mark’s lips chased yours.
Mark’s kisses were warm, and they were comfort and they were safe. And that night, you realized how much that scared you.
You’re high when you tell Mark you love him.
The both of you are sat on the rooftop of Marks shitty apartment complex. You had wanted to get high earlier that evening and Mark told you that he’d rather you just get high with him then for you to go to another party. The last one you had gone to had ended with a way too touchy guy being punched in the face, Mark’s reddened knuckles, and a lot of throwing up on your part. So, you had agreed to just get high while being next to Mark, snuggled into his side a the wind howled past you.
You had also managed to get Mark to take his first ever hit. He coughed from the burning sensation of the drug filling his lungs, face scrunched up in disgust and you laughed. You laughed and then he looked at you, smile tugging at his lips and you just...said it.
“I love you.” You looked at his eyes, those same deep brown eyes you saw at the party all those months ago. You hate to admit it, but you think you fell into them the moment his gaze met yours that night.
“Don't go jump the gun. Live fast while you're young honey, don't go chasing love.”
Your mother’s words ring faintly in your head. You couldn't blame her. She had married too young, gotten pregnant too young, and it had ruined her life. But you weren't your mother, and Mark wasn't your father. You were different.
Mark finally snaps out of his shocked state. “You don't mean that.” He says then, and your heart clenched at how broken he sounded. But you can't blame him for not believing you. You could barely believe yourself. You feel new tears form and your voice is shaky when you speak: “I do, I do- I do mean it. I mean it so much.” There's tears running down your cheeks now but Mark faces away. “No you dont.”, his tries to sound angry but it just ends up sounding tired, “You're just way too high.” A loud sob wracks your body then but Mark still refuses to look at you. “If you actually loved me”, he swallows, “you’d tell me when you arntt high as a kite.” He sighs and stands up. “I'll leave the door unlocked, ok? I'm gonna go to sleep, on the couch. You can have the bed. Don't stay out here all night, got it? And for God's Sake, please don't do anything stupid.” He faces you when he talks, but he still won't look at you. It hurts so much, but you don't say anything. You stay silent and watch as he leaves.
Mark wakes up to his phone buzzing like crazy on is coffee table. He groans and stretches, wincing when he hears the joints in his back cracking. Sleeping on the couch sucks, he thinks to himself. His phone buzzes again and Mark quickly blinks to adjust his eyes to the stream of sunlight flooding through his balcony door. He reaches for his hone slowly, mind a little groggy for some reason. The screen lights with another message and he mindlessly clicks on it only to see that it's you texting him. Your nickname “Munchkin” (from when you had told Mark about your love for the wizard of Oz and he decided to call you Munchkin due to you being smaller than him and because he found it cute, much to your dismay) lit up the top of the phone screen.
Munchkin💗
[09:05am]
hey, you awake?
markk?
hello??
[09:27am]
MARK
m
a
r
k
istg the one time i try to do something nice for you
AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN UP
[10:02am]
mark leeeee
markus
yeah?
FINALLY you're up
go on your balcony
what? why?
just do it please
ok ok
Mark sat up and scrambled to get out from under his blanket, limbs not quite cooperating this early in the morning. He finally makes his way to the balcony, sliding open the door and stepping out into the cold air.
“Hey! Down here!” You shout as soon a you saw his balcony doors opening. His head pops out over the railing and you squint up at him, the harsh morning sun making it difficult to get a good view of Mark’s face.
“Does this count at something stupid?” You shout up at him. Next to you stood Marks car with the words “I love you Mark Lee” complete with heart sprawled on top of the hood with white paint to contrast its black color. You hear his laugh from above and your heart swells with affection at the sound. He's running through the front door of the building in no time and before you can even register it, he swoops you up in his arms and swings you around. The both of you are smiling and slightly out of breath when Mark sets you back down.
“I love you, Mark Lee. And I mean it.”
He kisses you, but it feels different than your normal ones. You can feel each emotion he's trying to convey, feel the love he's pouring in to you. You wrap your arms around his neck and he pulls you as close as he can by your waist. After a moment, he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours.
“I love you too.”
He smiles as he says it and you dont think you’ve ever felt this relieved and happy in your life so you pull him into a bone crushing hug. He plants a kiss on the top of your head and gently strokes your hair. You stay like that for a while until you feel him shift slightly in your embrace. “Hey y/n.” “Mmm.” you hummed in response against his chest. “That’s washable paint...right?” You giggled as you pulled away from him. “Oops.”
“Y/n!”
(It was, of course, washable paint, but Mark didnt have to know that just yet.)
#mark#mark lee#nct#mark scenarios#nct mark#mark angst#mark fluff#fanfic#mark x reader#mark lee x reader#nct 127#nct u#nct dream#nct 2018
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my boss could be an irl mr. krabs
lately getting more and more pissed with my boss and how he’s rly ruining our store 🙃
he’s relatively new (to our particular store and to being a general manager) and our former boss transferred at the end of august this year. and just. man is our current boss a Real Piece Of Work. for starters he’s incredibly stingy and overdramatic about labor and our overtime and how it takes from his bonus check. like just a couple weeks ago i worked night as i usually do but i came in early to cover someone in the morning so i was working a double shift. and my boss was almost immediately complaining about labor to me when he came in and how i should’ve said something about it to him. thing is, we have always just told the opening or closing managers about schedule changes which he. is not. he got so mad at me and said i didn’t need to come in for who i was covering due to labor and shit but like dude why schedule her then lol??? god the fact he was so trying to get rid of me until i come back for my night shift was so annoying? especially given my recently cut hours (more about that shit is upcoming 🙃) so. like. no i’m staying thanks!! ugggh he’s cheap so much so that it’s become a store-wide meme amongst just about everyone lmao. for example say something obviously unusable and so insignificant falls on the floor like One (1) french fry, and we exclaim dramatically “OH MY GOD we gotta pick that up RIGHT NOW, just think about [boss’ name]’s money!!!” it’s so goddamn funny he’s literally too easy to make fun of. which is all fun and dandy until you consider how his dumbass has been causing us to go downhill since he arrived.
the first big significant thing he did (that also really involved me so like. makes me even more pissed) was starting to promote our opener and give him a raise before me despite the fact i had asked first and as the main closer i do so much more shit than this other guy could even fathom doing. i was beyond frustrated and ANGRY. i work too hard and too much for the little pay i was getting. not to mention i live 30-40 mins away! gas ain’t too cheap! the fact this other guy still remains getting promoted is infuriating because he. doesn’t. fucking. deserve. it. and i’m not the only one who thinks so, just about all my coworkers think he’s careless, bothersome, and incompetent with no real maturity to handle becoming a manager. i keep fucking praying he ends up not becoming one. the thought of closing with him makes me want to SCREAM
but luckily i did eventually get my raise (after literally having to directly contact my boss’ boss over the issue) but heres what’s just. great… i’m now like still making a similar amount to what i was pre-raise because our boss pushed and pushed to start closing early. like we ARE brutally slow most of the time at night and the fact there’s this shitty construction blocking a big road entrance to our store isnt helping. but ya’ll we went from closing at midnight every day to closing at 10 except fri and sat we close at 11. its a drastic change though and it killed my hours. the worst part is i know my former boss wouldn’t have done this, maybe closing at 11 every day if anything but not 10, good lord. but because my current boss is so damn persistent in getting what he wants he was able to push enough for the change in our store hours. it’s funny because if you have some kind of issue you HAVE TO be super persistent to him about it otherwise it gets forgotten on the backburner immediately and it’s so frustrating. yet he’s always annoyingly and brutally persistent with his bosses over everything so 🙄
hes also like cutting my hours completely and giving me far less days to work, i used to be working 5 days a week all the time but now its like 4 days and recently this week (dec 3) its turned into only 3 days. but to sorta put that into perspective, i havent worked 3 days or less since MID JULY. id be working 35-40 hours a week (and 50 before i started school) and now this most recent week im barely working 19.
not to mention this hours change has managed to be reason for 1 of our night cooks to quit. and like ya’ll, we have only 4 night cooks, and the one leaving literally closes most of the week. she closed a minimum of three days each. and now our other main closing cook who closes fri-sun every weeky is beginning to consider leaving also. it’s such a shitty development from all this and i don’t even want to know the shit that’s to come next.
so not only all that shit but then there’s how he makes our schedules and always manages to fuck something up each week or weirdly schedule people in a way that makes no sense. like if someone requests off a day they normally always work each week, he often doesn’t fill that shift with someone else? like hello?? our schedules are so static too, my former boss always went out of his way to put different people together on different days each week but my current boss? nah let’s just copy and paste the last week’s schedule, change like 2.5 things and call it good. and i know it’s like, don’t change something that doesn’t necessarily need to be changed but. ugh i guess i just didn’t realize how much i enjoyed that original schedule diversity until it was suddenly gone… doesn’t help that i’m constantly being scheduled to work with the few coworkers i don’t particularly like 😊
so yeah tl;dr my new boss is an incompetent stingy asshole who gave a raise first to someone evidently less deserving than me, obnoxiously pushed to close much earlier thus killing the night crew’s hours, has given me far less hours than i used to altogether, at least partially caused 1 out of our 4 night cooks to quit, and he additionally just makes rather shitty unideal schedules
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LMN Ch.1 | OSH
Group: EXO
Member: Oh Sehun
Theme: Angst | Fluff | Writer!AU | Neighbor!AU
Word Count: 2,318
✎ Chapter 1: Endings ✎
Fresh red petals fell from above as the box that carries his once brightest star, now gets buried several feet from below the ground, dimming its light as it gets farther down.
And she's gone.
His tears couldn't bring her back. His prayers wouldn't get answered despite his faithfulness. His heart wouldn't ever be fixed since the only one who can put every pieces of it is now gone.
He should've made every second worth it before she's out of his grasp.
He should've made sure she heard his 'I love you's a billion times before she closed her eyes into a deep sleep.
He should've made everything perfect that day when he asked her to be his
girlfriend since he ended up ruining everything.
He was a jerk to her at first, he admits that.
But he truly loved her.
It was just too late before they both realized—
They can't be.
It was too late for regrets.
Only memories will remain.
But he knows he will always be the same.
Loving her will be his greatest achievement in life.
"SERIOUSLY, NOONA?!"
You almost jumped out of your seat, turning your swivel chair with a hand on your chest.
"I just fucking read the ending of your recent story! Did you seriously need to let her die?!"
"Watch your words, Yeol." You rolled your eyes as Chanyeol's legs gave up, looking at you with sorrowful eyes. You pushed your eyeglasses up as you stared at him. "Get out if you're just gonna rant about the ending of MY story." You turned your back on your younger brother and continued planning your next story.
You're an amateur writer, 25 years old, already wrote 3 best-selling books but unfortunately they're all—
"All of your books has sad endings! Don't you have a heart, noona?!"
You scratched the back of your neck as you can't concentrate with your work.
"Just go and study. You have classes tomorrow."
"Can you promise me one thing?"
Your eyebrows shot up as Chanyeol's pleading voice rang through your ears.
"What?"
"Please make a happy ending for your next story, noona. Please."
Chanyeol reads every book you publish, may it be online or the hardcopy one. You can say that he's your number one fan. Obviously, he's a book lover. He only started becoming one when you became a writer. Such a good dongsaeng he is, right?
You sighed.
This was the 4th time he's asking you for a happy ending.
"I told you, I can't—"
"Why though? Is it because you broke up with your boyfriend?"
"Yeol, you know that's not the reason behind our break-up."
You turned to him again, speaking with your eyes as you saw him pout in defeat. He stood up and walked towards you. You followed his movements and closed your eyes as he landed a gentle kiss on your forehead.
"Okay, I won't ask anymore. Sorry for startling you earlier, noona. I was just carried away. You know how your stories affect me." You chuckled as Chanyeol hugged you like a kid to his mom. You patted his head with a smile. "I'll always be your number one fan, noona."
"Mmm. Please do." You hummed as you squeezed him tighter.
"Your heartbeat really calms me, noona."
"Perhaps because it might stop any minute—"
"Yah! That was—"
"Shush." You gently pulled him away, flicking his forehead as he stood up. "You have exams tomorrow, right? You should study not—"
"Ne, ne. I will, noona! If I get on the top 5 for this semester, you'll make a happy ending for your next story, okay?"
With your younger brother's big eyes, big ears, reddish cheeks and cute grin, you nodded with a sigh.
He's 19 and in the 2nd year of studying Architecture in EXO university but he's still a kid to you.
"Fine, fine. I will try."
"Don't just try!"
You literally pushed him out of your room and closed the door since he won't stop talking.
Chanyeol's right though.
Your endings always have a rainy day, much to Chanyeol's chagrin.
It will always start with light-going events to the romantic scene of the main characters to the arrival of the conflict and then to the tragic death of the female character.
It always leaves the boy alone.
Broken.
"Back to work." You muttered to yourself as you sat down on your swivel chair and faced your laptop again. Your eyes focused on the screen as you typed the title of your new book.
| Love Me |
Your eyebrow scrunched together as you stared at the words.
"It's too common." You pressed the backspace bar as you bit your lip in concentration. "I should probably complete my plot first. Yeah. I'll do that."
You leaned back on your swivel chair and glanced at the calendar hanging on the wall in front of you. A picture of your family was taped beside it, making your lips curl up into a smile.
Your eyes drifted back to the calendar.
Today's November 20.
"4 months left." You whispered as you closed your eyes, resting them for awhile. "I'll finish the book before that."
I promise.
"Let's start brainstorming then."
You shut your eyes open with a motivated grin and quickly clicked Microsoft Word to begin writing.
"I can do this!"
✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ✘
"Dasom, I can't do this."
She just scoffed as she let herself fall on your bed.
"This is not the first time you've said that and still ending up being the best author of the year. Stop kidding around, Park Yeoreum." Dasom closed her eyes as you continued staring at your laptop with an empty notepad.
"I swear! This is the first time I've ever been hit with a hard mind-block! I can't even think of a nice plot!" You groaned as you lightly bumped your head on your desk in frustration. "I'm going down!"
"You're being annoying, you know. Just clear your mind first. Relax for a week or something before diving into the world of your dark fantasies, my friend. Your books suck."
"My readers love my books, Dasom. They don't suck."
"Bad endings suck! Did you even think of your readers' hearts? I think they always break whenever they read your books."
You huffed as you turned to her.
"Happy endings don't happen unless you die with a happy life. My books contain all the truth you should know about life, not just sickeningly sweet romance that you can't ever have in life forever. Everything's bound to be broken and fixed." You looked up as you played with a toy of a fluffy white puppy. "It's just sometimes we don't know how to bring the pieces back together, that's why we end up crying and sad until the end. Life goes on whatever happens. You shouldn't get caught up with your broken heart and focus on moving forward instead."
"That's always the moral lesson in my mind whenever I finish a story." You smiled at the stuff toy in your hands.
"No wonder you're a great author. You say wonderful words." Dasom sat up straight, eyes wide open as she gapped at you.
You laughed at her comment.
"You'll come up with something, trust me." She shrugged.
"Thanks." You put down the stuff toy back on your desk. "Where are your younger sisters, by the way?"
"They're downstairs with your own sister. Probably gossiping about their crushes in college. Those girls really." Dasom shook her head as she stood up and walked towards you. She suddenly has a soft and worried expression on her face.
"I know that look." You looked back at your laptop and avoided her stare.
"I'm just worried. You know you can always count on me, okay?"
Your eyes went down on your keyboard as they slightly burned. You brought your hand to your chest, feeling the normal beats of your heart.
"There's nothing to worry about, Dasom. Everything will be fine."
You heard her sigh in defeat as she opened the door.
"Just call me if you need anything, okay?"
You hummed in reply, not bothering to look back at her as she stared at your back. With the last sigh released, she went out and close the door.
"Time's running, Yeoreum. Think fast." You mumbled as you opened a notebook before getting a black pen from your pencil case.
"We can start with the characters. Their traits, hobbies, relationships, etcetera." You scribbled on your notebook as your mind slowly started working. "Settings."
You smiled as you almost filled the page with writings.
"Main conflict..."
And you're back to none.
"Shit." You slumped on your chair as you cursed. "What the heck is the conflict now?"
You groaned as you stared at your notebook.
"Help me." You mumbled as you looked up on the ceiling.
A knock on your door interrupted you, making you grunt in response.
"Unnie, dinner's ready." Chanhee, your youngest dongsaeng, called out as she slowly opened your door. "Are you busy?"
"No, I, uh..." You sat up straight as you closed your notebook. "I'll be there in a minute."
"Okay then! Don't stress yourself out, okay?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Dasom unnie already went home with Bora and Soyu. They said goodbye to me for you too."
"Is that so?"
"Yep! Come down, okay?"
You looked at the door as it closed.
"I think I need a break for awhile."
"Bye, noona!"
Chanyeol waved his hand as he went out of the house, leaving you with your parents and Chanhee at the table.
"He's still at that convenience store?" You asked, grabbing a glass of water.
"It's a good thing for us. Your brother's so enthusiastic about helping in our family's needs. Even Chanhee's working part-time in that ice-cream store near their school." Your mother said as she smiled at you.
"If you're all doing this so I can—"
"Stop now." Your father's stern voice echoed the room. "Just finish eating and go back to your room. Let your sister do the rest."
"I'm not a disabled person, dad. I can wash the dishes for this night—"
"You're disobeying me now, Yeoreum?"
You felt your father's hard stare, making you land your sight on your plate.
"N-No. I just want to help like before—"
"The only thing you can do is to listen to what I say and stay in your room."
You harshly dropped your glass, making Chanhee jump from her seat beside you. You stood up and walked upstairs without a word.
"Yeoreum, darling." Your mother's soothing voice called out as she stood up. But then the thud of your door made her sit back down. "Why can't you control your temper for once, In Sung?!"
"She won't back down if I go easy on her, Ga-in. You know how hard-headed she is. She's already an adult that can make her own choices but for her condition—"
"I understand your point but you'll hurt her in the process!"
"I-I'll go start washing the dishes."
As Chanhee spoke softly, it made the couple shut their mouths.
"I'm sorry, Chanhee—"
"It's fine to talk about unnie's condition because you're both worried, but please stop fighting. She won't be happy with it."
In Sung and Ga-in looked at each other as the youngest of their children went to the sink, leaving them speechless.
✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗
"Just give me a little bit of inspiration, please." You mumbled as you wrote on your notebook again.
It was the third day of your empty page in your laptop. It was depressing to see.
"Noona?"
"Yeah, come in."
As Chanyeol went inside your room, your eyes remained on your notebook. He peeked at what you're writing and gasped.
"What?" You turned to him with an eyebrow raised.
"You're writing!" His fanboy feels started attacking him again, making you roll your eyes.
"Duh." You huffed, turning back to your notebook. "Fuck, yeol. You ruined it!"
"I didn't do anyth—"
"You distracted me, now my mind's blank!"
Chanyeol jutted his lower lip as he stared at you.
"Sorry."
"What are you doing here anyway?" You groaned as you rested your head on your hands placed on the desk. "You're not here to rant about the ending again, are you?"
"No, no! I'm just here to inform you something."
"What is it?"
"My best friend will be moving in the house next door. He's taking Architecture too! Everyone loves him like he's a god or something—"
"Why do I need to know this?" You lazily replied, looking at your window that shows another window of the house next door.
"Well, Chanhee's excited to meet him. You know how stupid she is when it comes to college boys. Sehun's a jerk though, so she shouldn't." Chanyeol said as he walked towards your bed, lying down as if he owned it. "I don't even know how we stayed as friends. He's a good guy but a playboy. He enjoys wrapping all the girls around his fingers. I think he even sleeps around. I tried talking to him about his ways but he's a hard-headed person like you. So I gave up and just let him do whatever he wants since he's handsome and smart. And--"
All of Chanyeol's words was taken in by your brain, making it start working like a machine. Your head shot up as you opened your notebook and wrote the ideas you suddenly have.
"You're a fucking genius, Yeol! I love you!"
Your younger brother just stared cluelessly at your smiling face as you wrote on your notebook.
"What? Did I say something awesome?" Chanyeol scratched the back of his head with a confused expression but suddenly grinned. "Whatever. As long as I can help!"
Yep, you did help.
—
❥ Ch.2
#exo#exo x you#exo x reader#exo fluff#exo fanfics#exo fanfiction#exo angst#sehun#sehun x reader#sehun x you#sehun fluff#sehun angst#chanyeol#sehun x oc
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Royal Silence (Xerxes AU)
RoyEd Week day 3: AU
Summary: Don’t look at the young dukes. It was the first advice given to the officers after it was confirmed that the Hohenheim family would be visiting Amestris.
According to Xerxian traditions, direct contact with unmarried members of a royal or noble family without the permission of the patriarch was a horrendous scandal. The Xerxian commoners who dared to commit such act of disrespect were bound to live in shame, jail or, depending on the type of contact, to not live at all. The Duke’s wife, Duchess Trisha Hohenheim, was an Amestrian woman, but rumors had it that she was raising perfectly Xerxian children, giving up on all of the Western habits from her homeland. So, as to not create any unnecessary disasters that could ruin the economic plans of Amestris, it became protocol to not even look at the kids and the soldiers got to the point of completely ignoring them to stay in line.
But of course, Roy Mustang’s life couldn’t be that simple.
read on ao3
Rating: M (mentions of sex)
Warnings: none
Words: 2,943
A/N: Edward is aged up a bit, let's say... Ed is 15/16 and Roy is 19/20 years old. I'll probably add more chapters to this, I just couldn't stop writing it haha. But that obviously depends on how people will react...
Don’t look at the young dukes. It was the first advice given to the officers after it was confirmed that the Hohenheim family would be visiting Amestris.
According to Xerxian traditions, direct contact with unmarried members of a royal or noble family without the permission of the patriarch was a horrendous scandal. The Xerxian commoners who dared to commit such act of disrespect were bound to live in shame, jail or, depending on the type of contact, to not live at all. The Duke’s wife, Duchess Trisha Hohenheim, was an Amestrian woman, but rumors had it that she was raising perfectly Xerxian children, giving up on all of the Western habits from her homeland. So, as to not create any unnecessary disasters that could ruin the economic plans of Amestris, it became protocol to not even look at the kids and the soldiers got to the point of completely ignoring them to stay in line.
But of course, Roy Mustang’s life couldn’t be that simple.
“Your hair is funny.”
The young major stood frozen on the doorstep of the library. He and the warrant officer Jean Havoc were appointed to care for the two boys’ nightly security, which meant they would be following them around while keeping an eye out for threats. No big deal. Except that it was.
There was a threat. A huge threat that seemingly no one saw as one. But Roy saw it—of course, he did, how couldn’t he when it was always around him—the threat dressed in beige tunics and thin leather sandals, gold bracelets covering toned arms and hair braided with small pieces of jewelry that made a sweet clink clink clink sound with each movement of the head. It showed no mercy, seeking constant attention through poking and relentless teasing.
“Can I touch it?”
The older brother.
“Oi, answer me, you jerk.”
Oh, poor Havoc...
Roy did not dare look at the scene occurring right beside him.
“Brother, stop that, you know they can’t talk to us.”
A snort and footsteps were heard.
“Yeah, whatever. C’mon, Al, there must be some books here that we haven’t read.”
Breath in, breath out.
Roy risked a glance over a pale Jean Havoc. A thin sheen of sweat covered his forehead.
Oh, fuck.
The Duke’s family was in Central purely for political reasons. Van Hohenheim was very inclined towards alliances with Amestris and seemed found of its Eastern countryside, where he met his wife. Getting to his good side was one of the top priorities of the Führer, needless to explain why: Xerxes posed as one of the most powerful countries, even without the strong militarism of its neighborhoods Amestris and Drachma. No one would dare to invade the oldest country of the continent, that survived centuries in the desert and still managed to have the most advanced scientific and artistic hubs. The Royals were so important that the Führer actually went through the trouble of reserving a whole suburban mansion exclusively for them, with dozens of rooms and a caravan of maids, cookers and guards.
Out of so many soldiers, it made the Flame Alchemist wonder why him.
During the days, the boys almost lived in the library, which made the whole job for the day guards easier. These lucky officers did not need to walk around that much, and Edward spent most of the time with his face in a book instead of being an inconsiderate brat. And there even a good part: listening to the brothers interact as if their guards weren’t even there was endearing: the older one turned soft and caring when it came to Alphonse. Apparently, the two of them were brilliant, reciting formulas and facts as if they were long-time experienced alchemists, and, as far as the sparring times they had could tell, great hand-to-hand fighters, something completely unexpected of young royals.
But when the night started, oh, that was the definition of hell. The brothers were separated, and Roy would always be dragged by Edward to his quarters and sit by the door. Every night, the young duke would open the curtains and lay wide awake in bed, bathed in silver moonlight, until an unbearable point of boredom. Then the boy wandered around the room, talking to Roy as if he could answer and complained because he didn't. The emptiness of the ambient left the man brave enough to follow the blond with his eyes, but not to speak. So Edward cursed him, his ancestors, his descendants, and sometimes even threw a pillow at him when the anger grew too much to be conveyed in words.
It was an overly warm evening when Edward decided to change his behavioral patterns. The youths parted with a hug and Jean Havoc stayed behind to accompany Alphonse. The instant they were out of sight, the boy grabbed Roy’s hand. The man flinched as if he’d been burned, staring with wide eyes at the smaller one, who made his point by tightening the grip.
“Let’s go.”
And the Flame Alchemist didn’t make a sound.
The Xerxian’s room was the size of Roy’s apartment, furnished with wooden furniture and a bed big enough for... well. In front of the pompous fireplace was a couch that seemed too comfortable for its own good, to which Roy kept giving longing looks every night he had to spend in that damn stool by the door. The whole space was disturbingly impersonal and the thought of living there repulsed the young major. Edward seemed to hold similar opinions, since he stashed all his luggage in the smallest pile possible on the ground next to the bed, not even unpacking properly.
The boy closed the door and the raven-haired man cringed at the sound of a lock being turned. He gave Roy’s hand a little tug and, when the man showed no sign of moving, rolled his eyes.
“Don’t be such a stubborn bastard, it’s not like I plan to torture you or something."
The soldier sighed and relented, letting himself be dragged in the direction of the couch. Oh, oh, the couch. The boy flopped in the cushions and propped his feet on the table – the movement too aggressive and ungracious to be considered cute but Roy thought it was anyway –, patting the spot next to him.
The man frowned and stood frozen.
“Y’know, I’m royalty and all that, but if I have to tackle you to make you sit on this damn sofa, I will.”
So Roy sat down and–
–he had to stop himself from sprawling all over it.
oh god ohgodohgod this is furniture heaven
He managed to keep a straight face.
“It must’ve been hell sitting on that stool all night, right?”
The young major did not look at him, eyes locked to the empty fireplace, but he could hear the smile.
"Now I just have to figure out a way to make you talk to me. C'mon, isn't it weird that you just follow me around and never say a word?"
Silence.
“I think it's pretty fucking creepy."
More silence. And a snort.
"God, you're so annoying." Edward's feet left the table and Roy heard a bit of fumbling. A hand came to rest on his shoulder, fidgeting the lone star patched there.
"But you have a nice face, y'know, for a bastard."
The man tensed like a string pulled tight. That was an attempt at flirting, right? It just had to be. Oh god, maybe the compliment had been a bit backhanded, but a compliment nonetheless. And then there was that insistent hand on his shoulder just adding to his thesis. Roy's mind buzzed with the pride and his heart did some weird, excited leaps and a stunning Xerxian royal said he has a nice face. His eyes drifted to Edward, only to meet the boy's smug grin.
“You do Flame Alchemy.” A statement, not a question. “But fire isn't matter, so how does it work? You can't expect me to believe that you can alchemize flames.”
Roy went back to staring straight ahead.
A loud, loud groan, almost a scream and the soft touch on his shoulder left.
“Holy fucking hell, what do I have to do for you to make a goddamn noise? Is it really going to hurt you so much to just talk to me? You'd get fired or some shit? That's just stupid, this whole thing is really fucking stupid!" The boy's fists clenched against the pillowed surface.
"I know you like me, okay? I mean, you're always giving me these looks and... I just know, okay? And it's fine, more than fucking fine even cause– yeah, I don't believe in that tradition bullshit and answering me won't instantly turn you in my fucking husband or an exiled or whatever. Fuck, you're not even from Xerxes and in a few weeks we'll go back home and you won't ever see me again..."
His tone was losing its initial sourness, crumbling into something akin to hopelessness. From the corner of his eyes, the raven-haired soldier saw the boy gesticulating, exasperated and barely giving himself time to breathe between words.
“It's just... no one talks to me anymore.” A sigh and Roy itched as whole to reach out “I mean, I have Al, my parents and some letters from Winry but that's it. Even the servants– fuck, Al and I used to talk to them every day, they were so nice and they played with us and I thought they liked us. But even with dad's permission, it's not fucking polite so they just stand there expecting us to give orders and shit and act as if everything is normal. Al is gonna marry Winry in a year or so, and he'll be outta this hell in no time, but I– fucking god, they've been tryin’ to set me up with someone but I'm such a fuck up and– and...”
A deep, shuddering breath and then–
“Forget it. Just... stay on the sofa tonight, I guess, that stool looks uncomfortable as hell."
–stood up and left.
Roy's chest tightened. How could he? How could Edward mess around with him like he always did, poking and teasing, then tear himself open like he just did and spill all over? As if it was nothing, as if it wasn't a tsunami but rather a warm wave that never got above the ankles? As if it didn't leave Roy breathless and stunned and craving for the attention–
“It's oxygen manipulation." The footsteps ceased.
A questioning uh and Roy could hear his own heart ripping his way from chest to throat in mismatched beats. Edward was back on the couch in a split of a second, his whole body turned to its other occupant, so the major adjusted to a similar position.
“But how do you–"
The words spilled out of him, and Roy hoped that he didn't sound as starved as he felt:
“My gloves are made with phosphorus added between the fibers, so when I snap my fingers the friction generates a spark. It's called ignition cloth." Edward's irises were like two gems of gold, shining curiosity and heavy with something the alchemist couldn't quite name. “Then I focus on the atoms of oxygen in the atmosphere and move them around to make wide range flames."
The boy smiled, from ear to ear and sparkling under the yellow lamps of the room.
“That's pretty fucking neat, for a bastard."
Their days carried on with the soft weight of a shared secret and the nights became sweet sleeplessness. Roy was not restlessly teased anymore and, from time to time, Edward would raise his head from a book and their eyes would lock for a millisecond. In that small moment, the world came to a halt.
Edward wore his heart on his sleeve, so full of thoughts and emotions that all it needed to spill was a little tug. His favorite food was stew and his color was red. He started alchemy on his own. He loved Alphonse and would die for him. He lost his leg in an accident and his best friend Winry made his automail. He loved Winry and would die for her. He preferred Elric, his mother's last name, over Hohenheim. He lived through the equivalent exchange law.
So Roy told him about his alchemy. About his favorite books, his beloved records. He told him he loved flowers, especially sunflowers and water lilies. He complained about a faceless girl named Gracia, who stole his best friend away. The only ones who could put up with his shit were said best friend, Maes, and Riza. He was an orphan. There'll be a riot in Ishval, he was sure of it. He was scared of it. He hated guns, corrupt politicians and being alone.
It's not you, Roy reminded himself, he just wants company.
They sat in front of the unlit fireplace, arms and legs brushing, touching, draped over each other. Sometimes, Edward snuggled up against him, neverminding the itchy cloth of the blue uniform. He dared to pet blond hair more times then he could count and Ed liked to hold hands so Roy had to take his damn gloves off. And they talked, and talked, and talked, not once missing a chance to answer each other.
It's not you, he just wants company.
Until the fateful night, the Xerxian decided to put Roy's mouth to other uses. He threw himself into the officer's lap, trapping him to the couch with his knees on each side of Roy's hips, a daring smile adorning his expression. No, no, no, I'm older than you, what if I hurt you, what if someone sees us, what if, what if–
what if this is more than I can take
It's not you, he just...
Edward – brilliant, stunning Edward – covered the other's lips with his on, and just like before, Roy relented. Ed's fingers tangled in ink-black hair, tight and pulling in a way that forced a whimper out of him. Roy's hands roamed, grasping, squeezing, touching taunt muscles and every patch of exposed skin within reach. Their tongues slid together and Edward pressed down against the body underneath his, making the man's nerves sing with pleasure and desire.
It's not you.
So they moved from the sofa to the bed.
The next morning, Roy woke up amidst a mess of limbs and soft bed covers, legs tangled and his arm pale against a tanned torso. The acknowledgment of his sin hit him like a train wreck, his mind screaming for him to get up and out, maybe if he begged he could get a transfer and leave the young duke with another soldier to mess with. In the end, it wouldn't make a difference to the blond, and the man would die before admitting that the thought left a bitter taste in his tongue.
Edward's eyelids fluttered open, slowly and dizzy, revealing impossible golden irises. Instead of bolting out of the room, Roy allowed himself to indulge in the sight of the boy beside him, yawning and stretching, back arching in a cat-like manner. Edward smiled.
“So,” he let out a small laugh “How fired are you for this?”
Roy smiled back.
“Very, very fired. Maybe even an execution is in order.”
The blond laid on his side and kissed a pale shoulder with unnatural delicacy, mumbling something unintelligible.
“What did you say?”
“I said,” his voice louder and hinting annoyance “Is it worth it, though?”
Roy stared at him, blinking in confusion.
Oh. Oh.
And Edward had the audacity to blush.
A laugh bubbled its way through the soldier’s lips, and he pulled the boy closer to him. How could he ever think of giving away this sweet duty to another officer? Edward, irritated and obviously embarrassed, struggled to get out of the embrace, but the man just tightened the grip, overwhelmed by the thumps of his own heart.
“Nonono, Ed, don’t get angry at me, I’m not making fun of you, please!”
“Not making fun my ass, let go of me!”
He placed his hand over Ed’s jaw, forcing o look back at him. Roy felt warm all over, almost as if he was being tickled on the insides. He put his best efforts to contain the giggles but failed miserably.
“I mean it, I’m not! I would never make fun of you for something like that!”
“I said let me go, you bastard!”
An elbow hit Roy on the ribs.
“Ouch! It is worth it, Ed, it’s so worth it!”
The struggling ceased and the boy stared at him warily.
“...is it?”
His voice was almost a whisper, so Roy whispered in return:
“Yes, and I won’t ever regret it.”
He kissed the tip of Ed’s nose and the boy made a disgusted face.
The small alarm on the bedside sounded, announcing that Edward should get ready to join his family for breakfast and Roy should go to the door to wait for the man who would cover the next shift. The youths took their time to detangle from each other, and when they did Ed made his escape to the bathroom. Roy put his uniform on and then went to look at himself in the wall mirror, trying to fix his tousled hair. Deeming his appearance acceptable – the white shirt was a bit wrinkled and Ed had left a small purple mark oh his neck, so he had to button his jacket all the way up – he left the room to wait for his substitute.
The corridor was empty so there was no one to judge, but Roy lowered his head to hide the smile anyway.
#royedweek#RoyEd Week#royed#safe royed#edward elric#roy mustang#xerxes au#fma#fmab#fullmetal alchemist
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An Eighth Bird, Born Out of the Storm - Chapter 20
Based loosely on the Luume'irma headcanon from @interstellarvagabond
Eighth Bird AU.
Lup sends a message, Angus cracks the case, and Barry has a bittersweet reunion.
Thank you to Calcu from the writer’s chat for Beta'ing!!
Also on AO3 (link in the source)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 below Chapter 21 Chapter 22
“Lucy, this isn't fair! I mean, a human? No offense but without this whole … planar bullshit, Barry would be so dead by now! But he's not and I'm going to have his kid and I cant believe I fucked up so bad Luce! I told him it was just a fling but it wasn't! Not even then! What the fuck do I do? What even are we? What do I even do?”
It was much like the scrolls I had read. The steamy romance novels that were more aggravating than entertaining, but I wanted to help my friend. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted this to work
“Lucretia, she is just … she's everything to me but I don't want to ruin our closeness. I mean,I don’t just love her because we're having a kid. I …I've known her over forty-five years, had all this borrowed time and now I can't imagine life without her.”
And I wrote it down. If we ever get back to our home, then everyone will learn about this tragic romance. This romance that would have been doomed on our home world because of the cruel passage of time.
I selfishly hope they will have more time.
- Excerpt from Lucretia’s Journals, cycle 45
Lup watched Barry climb out of the tank and her heart nearly exploded. It had been so long since she had seen him. So long since she had felt him.
And she was trapped in this damn umbrella.
Barry listened, intently to the instructions from the coin, his expression softening as his former self instructed him.
“... You feel a dull weight in your chest. It’s a weight of a love that defined and redeemed you but you’ve forgotten who that weight belongs to …”
He’d done this. He’d done this countless times. Had to relive each time …
It was too much. She didn’t want to watch this, but she had to.
This Barry was different. This was the Barry before joining the IPRE. The Barry that had been tormented in school. The Barry who had to become scrappy. Who had to learn as much as he could and stayed in university until he was in his forties because he couldn’t find a place to fit in.
The Barry that existed before he became her Barry.
Lucretia … What did you do?
Then Taako started to rant. Started to say that he couldn’t trust anyone.
Which … Would absolutely not do.
She whispered to him. Trying to get his attention as he gave in to the ideas that were being planned. As he coaxed Barry into his Pocket Spa.
“Trust Barry … Love Barry …”
She realized, after several repetitions, that he was gripping the staff, as if he had heard her voice.
“Taako! It’s … It’s me! It’s your sister! It’s me … Trust Barry …”
It was too much energy. Too much work.
She stopped, abruptly, feeling the strength almost leave her completely. She was fading. She had been using too much energy and the staff was going wild, consuming it.
If she wasn't careful, there wouldn't be anything left.
If they left this world, would she even reset?
She couldn't think about that right now.
She had to rest. She had to hope.
~
Angus did not believe them for a second.
Magnus was not dead. He couldn’t be dead.
It wasn’t that he was denying what they had said. He just knew, just from watching how the mannequin walked, that Tres Horny Boys were not being completely honest.
He now had several questions.
What was the Bureau hiding?
What were Merle and Taako hiding?
What really happened to Magnus?
What really happened to his mother?
He had already discreetly marked the sphere with a piece of chalk. He had a little bit of time before the Animus Bell was “destroyed” so he decided to observe Merle and Taako for a little while.
He watched from afar as Taako, Merle, and their “mannequin” went to the Fantasy Costco. Angus had already been inside, having snuck around behind Garfield, and had seen the vat with the body growing inside. He hadn’t asked Garfield why it was there, but as he watched the trio walk in, he started to hypothesize.
Did they know about the vat? No, they couldn’t have. They hadn’t been to the back offices.
Why would they be going into Fantasy Costco anyway? The relics had all been reclaimed, supposedly (and Angus had his suspicions about that), so there was no need for any more adventures.
He made his way to the relic disposal chamber once again. He knew that he only had moments before Lucretia arrived to dispose of the relic. He hid himself and waited.
He watched as the sphere was taken up. Watched as the relic was “destroyed”
Watched as an unmarked sphere returned in its place.
Bingo.
He needed to find Taako and Merle. He trusted them the most now.
He wished he could still trust The Director.
~
Barry sat in the pocket spa. There was something comforting but also unnerving about being in this tiny, enclosed space.
It was strange, but it had also been nice being around Merle and Taako. The mannequin that called himself “Magnus” was upsetting, but it felt like it was upsetting on a deeper level than just on a “this is a sentient mannequin” level.
He sighed and nibbled on his cucumber sandwich. He wanted to know where he was, what was going on …
He heard a sound in his pocket. He dug into it to feel a second coin. He raised an eyebrow as he listened to it crackle to life.
“Barry,” he heard his voice say. “You … You’ve gotta make it this time. This is the only chance you have. And if they try to leave and you haven’t had the V̨͏̵o̶̧͏i̧̢̕͟͡d̶̴̨̕͢f̛͘i͜͢s̵̢̡͟͞h̨͘ ̡̢͞ic͝͞͝h̶̕͡͝o͜r̢͏ then you can’t let them go. You can’t let them leave him, Barry. You can’t. It will destroy … Just … Please follow all of my instructions, even if Taako, Magnus, and Merle don’t …”
Barry listened intently, feeling that weight again. Who was the coin talking about? Who was he leaving? He didn’t want to leave anyone. Even though he’d needed to put on a tough exterior, he never imagined abandoning anyone.
The pocket spa opened and he looked up to see Taako’s face in the ceiling.
“Uh …” Barry started.
“Barry?”
“Yeah, yeah can I uh … get out of here? It’s a li’l cramped,” he asked.
“No! What are we looking for?”
Barry tried to think but it dissolved into static.
He slammed his eyes shut.
“Uh … I have no idea. I’m - This - I …”
The pocket spa slammed shut and Barry was alone again.
He sighed and returned to his cucumber sandwich.
“Asshole,” he muttered.
He heard the first coin crackle to life outside, his own voice giving out advice.
Somehow, he felt like the coin that he had discovered was just as important.
~
She was a swirl of emotions.
She was losing energy, but she needed to try and stay together.
If they were able to leave, then would she even be pulled out of this plane with them? Would there be anything left of her soul after this?
She was so tired from just trying to exist. She needed to rest.
But as she felt her surroundings continue to shift and change and heard Barry’s voice through the coin, she knew she had to hold on.
If the Hunger arrived before they could leave, Taako would need her.
It could be one last thing she did for her brother.
~
“I don’t know, but I feel like I trust you.”
Those words would bounce around in Taako’s mind for a long time. Even though he had made a big deal of not trusting anyone anymore, this man … this Red Robe who apparently forgot everything, trusted him.
He therefore couldn’t hold it against Lich Barry or Pocket Barry when the trap was completely wrong.
When the alarm had almost sounded, had almost ended their adventure, he learned he could trust someone else.
He saw the dome of magic over the alarm bell, turned, and saw his pupil.
“Hell yeah! Nice magic, little man!” He cheered.
His relief turned to panic as he saw the determined expression on Angus’ face.
“Start talking! I - I need to know what you know …”
~
Barry felt a tingle. And then the realization that he could not hide any longer. He wasn’t sure what was compelling him, but he yelled as loudly as he could.
“Hey! I’m hiding in this guy’s bag and I’m getting kinda claustrophobic and also I’m not supposed to be up here!”
He started to climb out of the spa, out of Taako’s bag -
And then he saw the boy.
His heart nearly ripped in half, and he couldn’t tell why. He didn’t understand why it hurt so much to look at this child.
This child who looked almost like he did.
He didn’t listen as Taako spoke. As Taako told everything to this boy. His brain wouldn’t let him. It was just trying to make sense of the child who stood in front of him.
Every time he tried to make sense of it, the words just didn’t make sense.
This child looked so much like he did.
Was he his s̶o̢̢̢͠҉n̢͞҉̕?
But the child was a half-elf.
Had he been in love with an elf? Was that who the weight belonged to?
Where was his partner?
~
Angus was watching Barry intently.
This was the man who the Red Robe had possessed. This was the man he had met as a child.
And yet he was here again.
And he still was going by Barry. Still looked so familiar.
It didn’t make sense until Taako had talked about Magnus. About Magnus’ soul being taken out and put into a mannequin.
About his body being destroyed.
About him being a Red Robe.
As he looked at Barry, and then at Taako, his mind tried to make sense of everything.
The nightmares he’d had about the Red Robe. They had been so fuzzy, so blurry, but there was something about that face that now, looking at Taako, seemed familiar.
But Taako didn’t have any family. There was literally no record of anyone related to Taako. No Sun Elves named U’tot’im’t’cuk or Tostaada. No elves with the last name of Taaco or Frum’Teevee or Lastname or any of the aliases that Taako had gone by.
Nothing.
The thought “My mother is a Red Robe” kept trying to form, but each time it did, it went away. The thought “Barry Bluejeans really is my father” wouldn’t stick.
He needed to get a grip on it.
He needed to get past that door.
When Taako threw Hole Thrower at the door, Angus peered inside to see a small tank inside the room.
The coin crackled to life, the instructions being interrupted by static, bright lights, and the screaming of the alarm.
Taako grabbed a flask and dipped it into the tank and drank a little before handing it to Merle and then to Angus.
As Angus drank, he looked over to the tank to see a smaller Voidfish.
A baby.
He looked over at Barry who had dipped his own canteen in. Looked around as everyone suddenly remembered.
And then he felt the mild headache.
His mother. His mother had been a Red Robe.
The song he had heard. It was one she sang to him before he was born. It was one she sang as she …
As she died …
As she died, left her body, and then vanished.
His mother was gone …
And his father … Even now, looking at Barry, there were no grand secrets revealed about his father.
He looked around the room at Taako, Merle, and Barry.
Perhaps, they were good enough.
His eyes locked with Barry’s as the man regained his composure, just enough to coach everyone through remembering.
“... Take it slow, I’m begging you. You gotta take it slow …”
Other than the revelation that his mother was a Red Robe and that there was a baby voidfish, Angus didn’t understand. His head only hurt a little, but it wasn’t like much had been lost.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I just see this Voidfish! This cute Voidfish …” he started.
He couldn’t tell them. He didn’t want this mystery to have been solved like this.
He’d held out hope for so long.
He looked up at Barry whose face had nearly crumpled with a flash of grief.
Then Lucretia appeared and began to explain. And as she explained, he heard the name again.
Lup …
He could see Barry and Taako nearly crumble as Lucretia apologized for …. For what?
“I’m so sorry Taako, Barry … There was nothing I could do.”
He looked between the two men. Barry’s hand went to his mouth as he seemed to realize the loss. Taako was shaking with a rage he had never seen before.
And then Davenport …
Davenport drank from the flask and then spoke.
“Lucretia? What have you done?”
#blupjeans#angus bluejeans#barry bluejeans#angus mcdonald#lup#taako#magnus burnsides#merle highchurch#Lucretia#davenport
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Angel baby~Part 2
(gif isn't mine credit to owner)
HI I AM BACK!!!! FINALLY!!! I am sorry I took so long honestly school this year is exhausting but I managed to get this done and not to boast or anything but I am loving this series so far!! I hope you guys like it too!!
special thanks to @a-theory-of-infinite-energy for sharing ballet knowledge with me I will put it to good use in future chapters sorry I forgot to do this when I posted
Enjoy your reading :3
- 5,198 words
smut
Pairing: Female Reader x Park Jimin
Genre: Sugar baby/sugar daddy AU; multimillionaire!jimin
~Your sugar daddy is distant, maybe you will finally get the touch you crave tonight.~
preview, part 1, part 2,part 3
“I don’t know if this was a good idea.” Jimin muttered down the phone as his nails dug into the leather of his chair.
“Oh come on!” his friend insisted “You need to stop this bullshit.”
“Tae..” Jimin sighed as his eyes drifted to the white ceiling. He knew very well all this wasn’t bullshit it was serious, him out of all people should’ve known. Hiring you as a sugar baby, it just had to be a mistake. He couldn’t do this. “You know it isn’t bullshit, after what happened I just- I- I can’t. Everything- it’s just too much you know I am not comfortable with all this already.”
“Ugh, I know but just listen to me ok?”
Jimin let out a quite “Ok.” and slumped in his seat. He knew what was coming. Tae was going to tell him to stop thinking about all this, and say that what happened wasn’t his fault as usual. He was right but it was still hard to get her image out of his head whenever he saw you. He didn’t want to be the person to ruin your life.
“You deserve to have some fun Jimin. You spend your days locked up inside, the only people you talk to are people you work with I feel like I am your only connection with the outside world. The real world.” he sighed and Jimin just waited for the rest in silence. He was hurting Tae and his chest clenched, he had to stop being so selfish. He didn’t see the problem with working all day, not until he realised he felt dead inside. He was drowning the bad memories in his work, and it wasn’t until Taehyung pointed it out that he realised. “Listen, I- I need you to try this. She signed up for this, she knows what she is doing, she even asked for it, isn’t that a sign that she wants it? Sex with her can only be positive for you, you need to get laid bro it’s been too long.”
Jimin remembered what you had said about sex, “I take it upon myself to offer it to the men I enjoy.” You enjoyed him, his heart skipped a beat at the memory of the flicker in your eyes and coy smile pressed against the hem of your crystal glass. You were the one who offered it, and he even thought by the look on your face that he had seen lust when he lost his self-control and started unravelling his fantasies before you. He didn’t know how that happened, you just made every word leak from his lips that burnt in need to devour your neck with a beat of your eyelashes. There was just something about you. He had no intention of getting into a contract that involved sex. Not after what had happened. But there you were with your sparkling eyes and adorable laughs. Your neck was fully exposed in the silk dress you had chosen and the only thought that ran wildly in his head was how he wished to tear it off of you. He tried pushing that back until you asked him what he was into and everything broke out of him.
“I guess so..” he muttered.
“Jimin, this is a good thing. You have to move on. What happened was terrible but I think you’ve dwelled upon it for long enough. You need to let yourself enjoy life too. Fuck I don’t even remember the last time I saw you genuinely have fun..”
It was true. He had fun, sometimes, but it never matched the intense laughs he used to have with Tae when they were younger. It never matched the thrill he had after a performance. It was never as good as it was before, there was always something haunting him at the back of his head. A darkness that dulled every instance of his life.
“You deserve happiness Jiminie. You can do this, it will take time but you’ve waited long enough… I just want you to live your life at its fullest.”
“I know Tae. I’ll try with Y/N..” he said softly. As his grip on the chair loosened he hated making Taehyung this concerned. He would try, just for him. If you could help him then it was worth the shot.
Little did he know that you were looking through the crack of the door and noticed Jimin's feet on his desk. You had eavesdropped and at the mention of your name you decided that it was time for you to leave. You shouldn’t have stayed there so long. It was a private conversation. He had told you that his office was the only place you couldn’t go into, so you were curious to see what he hid in there. You weren't expecting to hear anything of the sort but you hadn’t managed to fight off your curiosity. You quickly ran out of the house you were supposed to be gone already. As the taxi drove you back home all you could wonder about was what he meant when he had said “I’ll try with Y/N…” why were you mentioned in what seemed to be a quite private and serious conversation?
“So have you done it yet?” Jade exclaimed.
You chuckled, “Done what Jade?”
You heard her sigh from the bathroom as if what she was asking was obvious, “Have you got anywhere close to his dick? Is what I mean Y/N!”
You almost choked and sat back upright in your bed as she looked out of the door with a smile on her face and her makeup half done “What?! Oh my god Jade no. Jimin is not that type of guy.”
“Really? Because from what you told me of the first evening you spent together things were pretty heated.”
She was right things were heated that first night, you remembered the way he undressed you with his eyes and bit down on his plump lip. The things he had told you still ran wild in your mind and came haunting you at night when you were alone on your soft bed. “I like it rough, and tender. I am the type to slap you on the ass and then soothe the soreness with my lips.” You couldn’t even count the number of times you had gotten yourself off to that. You wished he would let you touch him like you had imagined in a few of your wet dreams. Your hand on his thick thigh slowly creeping towards his bulge just that would suffice for you, but sadly there hadn't even been the slight allusion to sex yet. Of course, you respected that but there was a part of you craving his touch.
“That’s true but ever since that night, nothing has happened. The only things we’ve been doing is going out to the mall to shop and eat food. I have to say he has really good taste when it comes to clothing though.”
It wasn’t very surprising considering how he was dressed on the first night, he always wore nice clothes and paid attention to his appearance. When you had gone out shopping he picked out this gorgeous dress for you. It was a gold shimmery dress that hugged every single one of your curves just right and it sparkled even in the dimmest of lights. You had no idea when you would wear such a beautiful piece of clothing but he had insisted on buying it for you.
Although he was always nicely dressed and well-groomed you once caught him just getting out of bed looking all soft and scruffy, his stubble showing and his usually combed hair all over the place. He was wearing sweatpants and a large t-shirt that showed the top of his chest and you could just imagine what it would be like for anyone who got the chance to wake up by his side. You had no idea why he woke up so late though it was 3 pm but you were not complaining, soft scruffy Jimin was a sight you were willing to see more often.
“Ugh I was really excited for you on that one, he is so hot Y/N!!”
“You think I don’t know that already?” you laughed.
“Do you ever think it will happen then?” you watched as she leaned over the sink and dropped her mouth open as she applied a coat of mascara.
“I have no idea Jade, it doesn’t seem like he wants anything like that.”
She huffed, you could tell how she frustrated about it she was. She was the type of sugar baby to offer sex to all of her sugar daddies, she loved the thrill of it all and now that you had found a sugar daddy you actually liked she was getting more excited than you about it. She had a thing for older men as well which made things easier especially considering she was only 19 years old. You often worried about her but she had a strong personality and didn’t like other people meddling with her stuff so you respected that. It didn’t stop you from worrying though.
After a short silence, you added, “You know I overheard one of his phone calls yesterday.”
“Don’t tell me you were eavesdropping Y/N?” she laughed as she came into the bedroom and dropped herself on the bed beside you. She looked at you eager for you to tell her what you heard.
“I was,” you admitted, “he was talking to someone he called Tae? I don’t know who that is but I am pretty sure they were talking about me.”
“Really?! Oh my god that’s exciting! What were they saying?”
“Well I heard say something like “Tae you know I am not comfortable with all this already!” and he mentioned my name at the end so I left.He said “I’ll try with Y/N”
“Oh! Try what?”
“I don’t know..I think something may have happened to him.”
“Do you have any idea what?” she asked curiously and much more excited about all of it than she should be.
“I don’t know I didn’t listen long enough to know.”
“Oh Y/N I really need to teach you how to spy on people properly.”
“I wasn’t trying to!” you protested. You had just happened to walk by his office as you were leaving, and his hushed voice caught your attention. You didn’t think he would be trying to hide any secrets.
“Maybe he was talking about another sugar baby he used to have which is why he isn’t comfortable about all this? ”
“I think you’re pulling it a bit far there.” you weren’t sure if you could picture Jimin with another sugar baby, but after all, it wasn’t as if you knew a lot about him in the first place. He kept his life quite private and mostly took interest in you, so you were the centre of attention most of the time. It wasn’t that you disliked it but the further it went the more interested you were in Jimin. The few times he let you into his life were only when he briefly mentioned his days as a ballet dancer, his eyes always sparkled at the mention of dancing and you were curious to know what about it made him so obviously happy.
“Do you think it’s like one of those forbidden love stories? Maybe he fell in love with a sugar baby? But they couldn’t be together for some dramatic reason, now that would be so romantic.” she sighed.
“Yeah you’re definitely letting your imagination drag you right now.” you chuckled. “Shouldn’t you be heading out to see your sugar daddy right now?”
“Fuck!” she gasped and jumped from the bed before grabbing her bag and running to the door, “See ya Y/N!” you heard her yell from the front door and you were left alone in your room.
Just as she left you received a text,
I got tickets for us. We’re going to see swan lake. [19:00]
Tonight. I’ll pick you up at 9. [19:01]
Wear something nice angel. [19:01]
You gawked at your screen. Angel, you always melted when he called you that. It was rare, but each time it left his lips as a soft tune accompanied by a small smile on his face and an adorable eye smile. You wished you could see it more often, each time it happened your heart skipped a beat. You sighed it was such short notice if he had said so a few days beforehand and you would’ve come up with a killer outfit. One that would make him have difficulties taking his eyes off of you. You only had 2 hours to work with, fuck. You decided to take a shower and think about what you would wear then.
The doorbell rang and you rushed to the door after hurriedly slipping your heel on. Before opening, you stopped in front of the mirror and checked yourself out. You chose to put the dress he bought you on, it looked fabulous you were happy you finally found an appropriate occasion to put it on. You checked your teeth and makeup, you were happy to say that you were flawless. When you opened the door the look on Jimin’s face only made it clearer. His eyes widened and lips parted a little bit as he took in your figure before him. He quickly regained his composure and snapped back to his normal self.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Of course Jimin.” you chirped before stepping out and locking your door, “Shall we go now?” you asked holding your arm up for him to take. He said he didn’t want any pda but this was just gallantry and an excuse for you to get closer to him. You walked out of the apartment block arms intertwined and you felt your heart racing in your chest. You were finally going out with Jimin on something else than a trip to the mall.
The car parked in front of a big lit up building. People were flowing inside and a thread of fur, glitter, rosy cheeks, and silk made its way through the large marble columns. The crowd bubbled with excitement and as the door opened you heard the laughter and loud sound of talking reach your ears. The building towered over the sea of lush bodies and a sudden knot of excitement appeared in your stomach. Jimin who had opened you the door offered his hand with a sparkle in his eyes, he smiled “Are you coming angel?” he cocked his head to the side and a strand of hair fell before his eyes.
You took his warm hand and let it gently pull you to your feet. All you could focus on in that moment was his smile no matter how impressive the building and scene laid before you was Jimin’s smile over-shined all of that. His head tilted slightly backwards as he too looked at the building and marble columns before settling back onto the crowd. His posture straight and elegant. He looked absolutely gorgeous, his tuxedo much like the first night you met him met any expectations of what would be worn by such a wealthy sugar daddy. Everything was luxurious and reflected his riches but as some may not expect all of it was tasteful. He shined slightly as the bright light coming from the building hit your faces, and his expression softened and beamed in happiness through the gentle stretch of his lips. You walked up many stairs and all the staff nodded respectfully at Jimin who smiled back.
“Do people know you here?” you wondered.
“I work with them occasionally.”
“Oh.” was all you managed to answer, the answer was clear but still vague. You had no idea what his job was, and suddenly learning he worked with people in the dance industry made you curious about what it was exactly he did. He lead you up the stairs and through less crowded corridors. The walls were adorned with gold and paintings of dancers adding a vague dash of pink to the picture. Your heels clicked on the marble floor and the noise echoed between the walls as less people were around you. Soon enough he pushed a small door and before you was a giant room full of crimson chairs and long velvet curtains before the stage. A soft tune of piano accompanied the excited muttering of people. You both sat down on the soft sofa and you turned your head his way biting your lip as your eyes met his. You could’ve sworn his pupils dilated slightly.
“So Jimin,” you inquired “why swan lake?”
“It’s my favourite.” he grinned and your heart melted. His warm smile reached your skin and made your hairs stand up on the back of your neck as a soft smile traced on your face. “It’s a classic for a reason.” he added.
“Have you ever danced to it?” you asked as you took in his excitement.
He sighed and his smile disappeared for a split second to be replaced by a melancholic one, and his smooth voice was suddenly weaker “I did..”
A small silence took place and he turned his face away from yours and let his eyes drift on the room slowly filling itself up. You felt the urge to reach for him, to place your hand on his cheek, and ask him what he was hiding but you had no right to do that so you just looked at him and waited for the silence to be broken. After a moment his voice reappeared above the tune of the piano “I was the swan.” he smiled weakly.
“The swan?”
“Yes. It was my best role.”
He still didn’t look at you and he seemed to drift somewhere else. Possibly back to the days he used to dance. You tried picturing Jimin as the swan. Chest bare, feathers flying from his costume and graceful movements perfectly accompanying the music. The crowd must have loved him, you wished you could see it. Sadly you had the feeling it wouldn’t happen anytime soon.
He soon snapped out of his daze and finally faced you once more with a faint smile.
“I have the feeling you’ll enjoy it.”
“I hope so.” You teased and cocked your eyebrow.
Suddenly the lights dimmed and the crowds chatting stopped as the music began. Soon enough the scene was animated by dancers, the music was loud and clear as it drummed through your ears.
“It’s the prince’s birthday.” Jimin muttered close to your ear explaining what was going on.
You turned your face towards him and found yourself only inches away from his own. Your eyes met his, he didn’t budge like you expected him to. His eyes lingered down to your lips and the tip of his tongue peeked in between his own. You smirked as you realised just what he was thinking about. You let your fingertips graze his warm hand as you pulled away and settled in the back of your seat pretending to focus back on the stage. Daringly he set his hand on your thigh as if nothing was happening. You didn’t move and took in the warm touch you had only dreamt about.
The ballet went by and as the dancers swirled around on stage, people all seemed captivated by their elegant movements, the waves of their members the grace in their jumps, the music plunging each and every one of the people in the audience into the story. Everyone somehow found themselves by the lake of tears watching the swans, everyone except you. Jimin’s hand was on your thigh and that was all you could focus on. Although you tried to relax you felt your stomach clench as the warmth of his palm spread on your bare skin. Your eyes focused on the stage but your mind went wild with thoughts you knew you should avoid having. Your imagination took you to a place where Jimin’s lips sucked on your thighs, where his fingers went elsewhere than on your thighs. You wished you could taste him. A glance his way and you caught his tongue wet his lips making them glisten in the warm lighting. You could discern his eyes in the dark, you even thought his pupils were dilated and cheeks slightly pink.
Your eyes lingered too long and he turned his head towards you questioningly, you took this occasion to smirk slightly and open your legs as your gaze plunged into his. He looked at you and not a sign of his thoughts could be seen on his face, except what looked like a sparkle in his eye. He turned his head away from you. You took that as a sign that your advance had been denied and tried turning your attention back to the ballet. You sighed slightly disappointed that it hadn’t worked. Without warning a warmth crept in between your still open legs. You snapped your head towards Jimin who looked completely unaware of what was happening. You didn’t move being unsure of what was going on. It looked like he had no idea that his hand was currently running up and down your thigh slowly setting fire to your core. You only straightened yourself back in your seat, and pretended that you hadn’t noticed anything, two could play this game. You tried containing your smirk as his fingers met the lace covering your damp underwear. A small smile seemed to appear on his face when he realised you were already wet with his simple touch. He rubbed your clothed folds making more fluids leak out in between your legs. You still pushed back any signs of enjoyment from your part although the wetness between your legs was a sign of the contrary. He leaned closer to you and the lips you had been desiring since the first night you met him brushed against your ear as he whispered in a hoarse voice,
“Stop resisting angel.”
You ignored his comment although a tight knot formed in the pit of your stomach at his words. His mouth met your neck as he placed a soft kiss on you leaving a wet trace on your burning flesh.
“I know you want it.” he added before leading his wet fingers to his mouth and sucking them clean before your eyes. His tongue swiped and sucked quickly on your juices. You bit your lip to stop your jaw from dropping, you didn’t want him to know just how intense of an effect he had on you. His eyes then pierced through yours and as he cocked his head to the side a teasing smile appeared on his face and you felt each of your muscles tense. You found yourself having difficulties stopping yourself from rubbing your thighs together to get some relief.
You tried regaining your composure and said as clearly as you could with a coy smile, “I don’t know what you are talking about Jimin.”
He chuckled, “I think we both know angel..” and with that, his fingers made their way back in between your thighs, and his lips graze your neck. You felt warmth pool in your pit and the spark that had slowly been igniting was now becoming a blazing flame. All he had to do was to say those words in his hoarse voice and you were already intoxicated by him. You tightened your grip on the armrest and your nails dug into the leather. His touch reached your core once more and this time he rubbed harshly without warning. At the sudden feeling you could not contain the gasp that fell from your lips.
“See I knew you wanted it babygirl.” he hummed against your skin and you could’ve sworn your nails were starting to make holes in the sofa. You wouldn’t let yourself beat so easily so you let your hand creep onto his thigh. As your hand roamed up his leg you could feel just how well built he was and you could already imagine what it would be like to have one in between your legs. He said nothing but you felt him tense as your fingers slowly approached his clothed length. Just as you were about to touch it, his hand took a firm grip of your wrist and with a stern look he muttered “Not yet.” He let your hand go and you placed it back on your leg. You sighed slightly disappointed, your hand could still feel his muscles tense under your touch and you wondered when exactly he would let you touch him. “Not yet” means soon right? Your thoughts were soon cut off when you realised that Jimin’s hand still in between your legs had pushed your underwear aside. You let out a gasp and unwillingly arched your back in your seat when his skin met yours. His fingers swirled at your entrance and applied a gentle pressure, each rub made a shiver run down your spine. You looked over at him and his eyes were focused on the dancers as if nothing was happening. A small but noticeable smirk gave away the fun he was having making you squirm in your seat. You wished you could take that smile off of him, but he was your sugar daddy and you were paid to give him what he wanted. He told you not to touch him yet, and that what you had to do now. All you could do was take it and wait for the time you would be able to make Jimin moan your name softly as he slammed into you, just the thought of it made your mind go wild. His thumb found your clit and started to circle upon it making a sudden rush of pleasure leak out in between your legs.
“Fuck, you're so wet for me.” he groaned quietly, and you wriggled again. You couldn’t believe the effect he had on you even with simple words. He was the first sugar daddy you had that managed to do this to you. A few words and a simple graze of his skin were enough to make lust appear within you. Now that he was groaning dirty things to you with his hand on your sex you could feel yourself fall into a frenzy. Your hand instinctively rushed onto his own out of eagerness and you pushed the two fingers slightly signalling you wanted more. His eyes still followed each of the swans' gracious movements as his fingers gently pushed inside of you. A small strangled moan escaped your mouth, you hoped no one was in the booths beside you but you highly doubted it. His thumb still made small regular circles on your clit creating the right amount of friction you needed.
“You’re missing an important part of the ballet angel.” he hummed and you whined with his fingers curling inside of you. He slowly thrusted his digits inside of you and your breathing was becoming heavier by the second.
“Jimin..ah..fuck” was all you managed to whimper back when he hit your g spot. Realising he had found your sweet spot he intensified the pace. Each thrust of his digits between your walls was becoming harder to do for him as you clenched around him. Your high was already approaching, the buildup of pleasure in your pit was on the verge of exploding.
“Faster.” you pleaded, but he wanted more than that.
“I am sorry baby I didn’t hear that.”
“Faster,.. pl- please Jimin..” you managed to release between heavy breaths as your hand settled on his leg searching for something to clutch on. The digging of your nails into his trousers made him hiss but he didn’t move nonetheless. Satisfied to hear you beg he obliged to your request and started going faster, the harshness of his movements hurt but the pain only rushed through your body as bliss.
“Come for me Y/N.” he muttered and you finally came undone around his fingers. Your moans increased and mostly came out in the form of Jimin’s name. Your back arched and eyes rolled to the back of your head. You were completely high on his touch and as your orgasm spread fire within your veins all your mind could focus on was him. Your whines slowly died down and Jimin pulled his fingers out gently. You were left a panting sweaty mess on the opulent sofa, with a pair of gorgeous eyes taking in the sight of you. You brushed the few hairs out of your face and hoped your face wasn’t too flushed. Jimin’s stare made you uneasy, do I have something on my face?
“Fuck, that was beautiful.” he finally said and your heart fluttered.
The ballet then continued and ended without a word exchanged between the two of you. You could see the bulge in his trousers, and you wished you could help him out. After all, you felt bad that you got to come and not him, you didn’t understand the point. Most sugar daddies would want it the other way around. It wasn’t rare for one of them to ask a sexual favour of you and never take the time to make you come. You were paid for their enjoyment so even though it was frustrating for you it was still understandable. You couldn’t fathom why he would want to pleasure you without anything in return. He said “Not yet” so you assumed he would let you touch him later but he wasn’t showing any sign that he wanted that to happen. His focus had returned to the dancing swans. You decided to not risk it and kept your hands to yourself. If he wanted anything out of you he would just ask.
He never did. The only words he spoke were at the end of the ballet, “My driver will take you home, I have some business I need to attend to.” his eyes looked at your face but they darted away from your gaze.
“Oh...” before you could continue he added,
“I will see you tomorrow.” and he stood up and left you by yourself in the booth.
You found his sudden attitude strange. You had been working for Jimin for a couple months now, and he had always acted gentlemanly. Even if he didn’t accompany you home himself he would at least escort you to the car and bid you farewell. You walked out of the building by yourself amongst the crowd wondering if you had done something wrong to get such a reaction. Maybe he wanted you to touch him and was displeased, but if he had wanted anything he should’ve signalled it one way or another. You sighed as you stepped foot into the car, you would see how it went tomorrow and maybe ask him if he wanted you to jerk him off like you intended to in the beginning.
That night your dreams were once more tainted with the thought of him. How you craved to taste his tender lips.
#bts#bangtan#jimin#bts writing squad#park jimin#bts fanfic#jimin fanfic#jimin scenario#jimin smut#jimin angst#sugar baby au#sugar daddy au#park jimin fanfic#bts scenarios#bts imagines#bangtan seonyeondan#beyond the scene#bangtan fanfic#bangtan boys#angel baby#part 1#angel baby part 1#bts sugar daddy#bts smut#smut
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Cupid’s Tears | NCT Dream #1
Genre: Cupid au, angst, heartbreak (sad ending)
K-pop Group: NCT Dream
Safeword: Cloud☁️
Requested by: none
_______________________________
TRIGGER WARNING: CUSSING, NUDITY, MENTIONS OF DEATH, VULGAR LANGUAGE, DIRTY THOUGHTS.
THIRD POV.
Y/N sighed for the nth time, cheek resting on her palm as she stared at the couples across the street.
"Dude shut the fuck up."
Y/N blinked, "Well, excuse me- sorry for breathing," she sarcastically said, hand on her chest.
"Apology accepted. Now, stop sighing every time you see a happy couple and let them live their life. You live your own."
"But, Donghyuckkkk. It's not fair that they get to be happy, and I don't," she whined, pouting.
Donghyuck rolled his eyes and flicked Y/N on the forehead. "Of course, your whiny ass is still single at 19; you won't shut up."
"I'll have you know that is not the reason I'm still single."
"Oh, yeah? Then why are you still single?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Because my whiny ass won't shut up."
Donghyuck smiled, "At least you still have a brain. God forbid you to be both whiny and dumb."
"Hey! Take that back!"
Donghyuck stuck his tongue out, running out of the ice cream shop.
"Come back here, you little shit!
Time skip. THIRD POV.
Y/N was currently wrapped in a burrito blanket, watching a particularly romantic show.
All of a sudden, she burst into tears, "Why can't I have a relationship like that? I want somebody to love me that way. And to brush my hair. And to pick my outfit of the day. And-and," another wave of tears took over her as she shook.
In the sky.
Jaemin was intently watching the girl. Each cupid was assigned a person to matchmake. They started at the age of 21, so this was Jaemin's first "client".
"Why does my heart ache for her? I hate seeing her so broken."
An idea popped into his head, and he went looking for Donghyuck's cupid.
"Hey, Johnny."
"'Sup, dude. How's your first client going?"
"That's what I'm here to talk about. Your client is Donghyuck, right?"
"Mhm, why?"
"How about we shoot them? They do say dating your best friend is better than dating a stranger."
"I can't do that."
"What?"
"I'm sorry, man, but I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"He doesn't like her, and he's as stubborn as a rock. Even if I shoot him, he won't accept falling in love with his best friend. Besides, he's already got his eyes on someone else, and I think they'd be pretty cute together."
Jaemin slumped. He bid goodbye to Johnny and went back to watching Y/N.
Another idea popped into his head. "This probably isn't that smart, but I'm out of ideas."
He planned to shoot his arrow on Y/N and see where it goes from there. He only has one shot, though, for each person only has one arrow. If that arrow doesn't reach them, they'll lose their ability to fall in love forever.
Jaemin took a breath, aiming his bow.
"3..."
"2.."
"...1..."
He shot the arrow.
He shot the arrow and missed.
He missed.
Y/N stood up last minute before the arrow could hit her. The arrow ended up disintegrating after missing its target.
Jaemin dropped his bow.
"I just killed the arrow... and I missed..." (A/N: in this oneshot, cupid's arrows are living and, once hitting their target, become those butterflies in your stomach that you feel. If the arrow misses its target, it disintegrates and dies. There's only one arrow per person on Earth. Missing your target results in a punishment decided by the queen.)
Jaemin was teleported to the throne hall where the queen stays.
"Na Jaemin," her loud voice echoed along the walls of the vast castle.
"Y-your majesty," Jaemin kneeled.
"You have failed."
"Yes, your majesty, I am aware."
"Mistakes are not tolerated. You have missed the target."
Jaemin gulped, "Yes, your majesty. I apologize."
"Don't apologize to me: apologize to the poor girl whom you ruined the life of."
"H-how...?"
The queen hummed, shifting in her throne, "Because your arrow missed, she now has lost her ability to love. Your punishment will be to go down to Earth and figure out a way to make Y/N feel once again."
Jaemin's eyes widened, "Your majesty, that's impossible!"
"Figure it out. You've got five months. After that, depending on if you succeed or not, you will be killed or sent back up here and work in labor."
"What about being a cupid?"
"You have lost that role and are no longer a cupid. You will go down to Earth as a human and will come back as a mere citizen of this city if your punishment is successful."
Jaemin felt a lump in his throat, "Understood, your majesty."
"You have disappointed me, Jaemin."
"I have disappointed myself, too. When will my punishment take place?"
"Right now," the queen stood up, walking towards Jaemin, who was still kneeling on the floor. Bending down to his ear level, she whispered, "Before you go, do not tell anyone of your punishment. If you do, death awaits you."
Jaemin's heart quickened, "Understood, your majesty."
Rising from the floor, the queen sat back on her throne.
"Goodbye, Na Jaemin."
Everything went black
Y/N'S POV.
I was done watching my show and was getting ready for bed when a man appeared in front of me.
I jumped, "Ah! Who are you? How'd you get in my house? And why are you naked?!"
The man's eyes widened, and he looked down, immediately covering his dick.
"Woah... it's big."
My face heated up as I slapped myself, "wake up, Y/N. You can't say stuff like that."
"U-um, excuse me."
"Oh, right! The naked but hot man. Wait, what- no no no!"
"How'd you get in here? Why are you here?"
"Um, my name's Na Jaemin."
"Jaemin's a pretty name."
"I didn't ask for your name; I asked you why and how you got here."
He blinked, "Oh, um, I, uh, can I get some clothes, first?"
My eyes widened, "Right! He's still naked..."
I went into the guest room where some of Donghyuck's clothes are. "He wouldn't mind a stranger wearing his clothes, right?... He'll definitely mind, but I'll deal with that later."
"Here," I threw the clothes at him, Jaemin uncovering his dick to catch the clothes. I turned around to give him some privacy and waited while he changed.
"I'm, um, done."
I turned around. "Okay, now, why are you here?"
"I... don't know. But please don't kick me out! I have nowhere to go!"
I was taken aback by the sudden outburst. Nonetheless, I'm not a heartless bitch, so I agreed to let him stay even though the whole situation was very suspicious.
Time skip: 3 months. THIRD POV.
Y/N and Jaemin have gotten close over these three months. Y/N has been feeling weird whenever she thought about Jaemin. She just couldn't put her finger on what she was feeling. She talked to Donghyuck about it, and he explained that she was possibly falling for Jaemin. She didn't know what that meant but didn't want to ask, wary of the judgemental look Donghyuck gave her.
She, instead, resorted to the internet as any 19 year old would. The results were a bit hard to understand, but she eventually grasped the main themes. She realized that Jaemin has been teaching her about love this entire time. Butterflies in your stomach, blushing, feeling nervous around the individual. He explained it all, but she didn't understand until after she figured out her feelings.
Using her newfound knowledge, she began getting even closer to Jaemin, occasionally flirting when she was confident.
Time skip: the day of Jaemin's deadline (Valentine's Day). THIRD POV.
"Y/N, do you feel anything new?"
Taken aback by the sudden question, Y/N blinked, "What? What do you mean?"
"Love. Do you know what love is? Do you feel it?"
Her eyes widened comically, "Um, yes, I know what it is."
"Do you feel it?"
To say Y/N was embarrassed would be an understatement. Nonetheless, she meekly answered, "Yes, I feel love for someone."
Jaemin was shocked, "Confess! You have to confess! Please, you have to confess right now! Call him!"
Y/N looked at him confused, failing to sense to urgency in Jaemin's voice.
"Why?"
"Just do it!"
Y/N closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, "Jaemin, I love you."
"..."
"..."
"..."
Y/N slowly opened her eyes, looking into Jaemin's tear-filled eyes.
"...What?"
"I said I love you."
"You-you can't love me."
Y/N's eyes widened, "Why not?"
"You-you can't love me. We can't be together. If only you loved somebody else..." Jaemin's voice cracked, tears pouring out his bloodshot eyes.
"Why can't I love you?"
"I... I can't tell you. But, I have to go; I completed my punishment. Thank you for falling in love."
Before Y/N could protest and yell, Jaemin disappeared into thin air.
Y/N started shaking, tears welling up in her eyes.
"No... he wouldn't leave me. He wouldn't use me."
She looked through the whole house, not finding a trace of him. His clothes, his uneaten breakfast, his scent. All gone, as if he never existed.
Y/N dropped to the floor and screamed. Tear after tear falling onto her cheeks, Y/N pulled at her hair, screaming. She screamed so loud her throat went dry.
She screamed so loud the man standing by the front door swore he'd never forget the sound, forever etched in his brain. He dropped the rose he got for his best friend, frozen in place after watching the entire altercation.
One cupid failed, and two hearts broke.
________________________________
I don't know where I was going with this. I had major writer's block for this oneshot; I had no idea what the plot should be. This was kind of rushed, but also kind of not at the same time so please give me your feedback!
I will publish the happy version shortly. Please don't forget to like and comment!
The happy version will not continue from where this oneshot left off but will be a oneshot with the same plot with an alternative ending.
Thank you for reading! -Nina<3
#cupids#cupid#sadending#heartbreak#angst#Valentine's Day#nctdream#najaemin#leedonghyuck#haechan#tears
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AM Conversations : chapter 31
A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his.
-4.5k
-im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it.
-there WILL be smut. but not only smut.
-this is a romance, comedy, smut story.
-for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!
- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P
- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(
- note for this chapter: i hope its not too bad. im scared ppl are gonna lose interest tbh. and i know, so many dialogues but it was needed!
-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!
Chapter 31 : Her chapter
OLIVIA
I woke up the next day a bit disoriented. I couldn't remember when exactly I fell asleep but as soon as my eyes opened, I felt my lips curl. Niall was laying next to me and we were both facing each other. He was still asleep and I brought my hand to his cheek, making him whimper very low. Slowly, I moved closer and pressed my lips on his gently, leaving a small and soft kiss on his mouth. His eyes fluttered half-open and when he saw me, his lips curled. It made my bite my bottom lip when I realized I hadn't seen him this happy in a while. Niall was someone who was always smiling but at this exact moment, it was even more than that. Or perhaps it was the reflection of my own happiness that I could see on his face.
He didn't say anything, he just moved closer to kiss my lips again, making them curl. I brought my hand over my mouth and smiled more.
"Hi."
He chuckled and also brought his hand in front of his mouth.
"Hi." he repeated. "Morning breath?"
"Would be bad if it was the first impression you had of me in the morning."
This time, he laughed and i felt my heart melt in my chest.
"I've smelled your morning breath and been a witness of more." he pointed out with what I guessed was a smirk from the way the corner of his eyes moved up. "Those little futile things won't change my love for you."
I could feel my heart flutter at the same time than my eyes when I heard his words.
"I woke up facing you like this so many times. I've wanted to kiss you so many times. This is the first time I actually do it. I never thought I would."
He stared at me and took his hand away. He was not smirking anymore, just smiling softly at me. I never thought Niall would ever look at me this way. I wouldn't have dared to wish for it.
"Fuck morning breath." he just said moving closer to me and getting half his body on top of mine before pushing my hand gently away and kissing me. It took me a few seconds to allow him to deepen the kiss but eventually I did. I closed my eyes, enjoying the way he kissed me and the warmth of his body over mine until he groaned in my mouth. "How did you sleep?"
I tried to think of an answer but all I could focus on was the way his lips ran down on my neck and how good they felt on my skin. I wanted to lock myself with him in his room for weeks like our own private and deserted island, leaving reality behind.
His phone started ringing and he groaned, his lips stopping on my collarbone. He simply sighed and I grimaced before he got up and searched for his phone through the pockets of the pants he wore the day before. It was not his type to leave dirty clothes on the floor but it seemed like both of us were distracting the other and I couldn't hide that I liked it.
"Hello?" he quickly answered without checking the caller ID... and with the way his face changed, I believed he shouldn't have had. "Oh hi."
I sat in bed and tilted my head, feeling suddenly a bit stressed, wondering who was on the phone but also annoyed, because whoever it was, they were clearly disturbing our alone time like some sort of ship running aground on the beach of my private island. I pushed on the covers and turned to face him, crossing ,my legs as I sat on the end of the bed.
"No, sorry, I'm busy tonight." Niall continued, turning to look at me before sending me a small smile. "I'm spending time with my girlfriend."
I held my breath and Niall stopped moving. After a few seconds, he raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. "No, I don't mean my friend who is a girl, I really mean the girl i'm officially dating. My girlfriend." Silence. "Okay, bye."
He hung up and sighed, throwing his phone on the bed and looking through his drawers for a clean pair of boxers that he just took out.
"Who was it?" I didn't want to seem invasive but the question was burning my lips.
"Oh." he just said with a shrug, glancing at me. "It was Heidi."
The simple mention of her name made my heart jump in my throat, making me slightly nauseous. I was not sure if it was because I was jealous or scared but all I knew was that Niall had sex with her a few times and that it was probably why she was calling. I wanted to ask him to delete her number or even block it but I knew I couldn't. I was trying not to be that kind of girlfriend, the type who gets insecure about every little thing that happens, and every girl her boyfriend talks to, but it wasn't easy. Niall and I were clearly not in the same league and although I knew love is not about physical appearances, I couldn't help but be nervous about all of this.
I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious but also mad at myself for letting someone like Heidi ruin my mood.
"I need a shower." he let out, taking me out of my thoughts. "Wanna come with?"
My mind suddenly went blank and my lips parted slightly as I stared at him. Did I want to see Niall naked and wet in the shower? Fuck yes. Did I want to stand in front of him in my birthday suit? Hell no.
"You reek too, by the way." he added with a smirk, taking his shirt off and throwing it in the laundry basket before turning back to me again and raising his eyebrows.
"Uhm."
I couldn't talk and I couldn't move. I could feel my heart beat all over my body, not really knowing what to answer. He knelt in front of me with a worried expression and placed his hands on my thighs. I could feel how warm they were, even through the fabric of his sweatpants that I was wearing, and it made me swallow hard. I was so scared to do or say something that would make me lose him that I could barely think straight. I had to do something about it before it ruined the relationship I had with him. As lovers, but also as best friends.
"Tempting, but no, i'll just go after you."
I tried to look normal and sent him a smile but he frowned a bit before nodding and getting up again. He bent down to kiss my lips and it sent a rush to my brain. I already regretted saying no but I knew i'd regret a 'yes" even more when i'd be naked in front of him.
I realized I was holding my breath when I sighed as soon as I heard the shower start and I closed my eyes, feeling suddenly ridiculous. Niall was now my boyfriend, and he said he loved me... he wouldn't change his mind because of what I look like naked, would he?
I sighed loud and lied back down in bed, grabbing my phone and crossing my ankles together. I couldn't help it and searched Niall's name on google only to find recent articles about him. There were pictures of us kissing at the bar and although it was from afar and not very clear, I felt extremely ugly. 'It's official! Niall Horan finally dating lifelong friend!'
My heart jumped in my chest when I realized the article started with 'After years of friendship, it is without a surprise that Niall Horan is finally seen kissing his childhood friend...' My eyes roamed on the sentence twice, three times... ten. 'Without a surprise'?
I scrolled down to the comments section and started nibbling on my bottom lip. I knew that whatever I would read would end uip hurting me but it was stronger than me. I was not the type to really care about what people thought of me but despite what anyone may tell you, reading mean things about yourself sucks and hurts.
'Can't believe she dated both Harry and Niall! Talk about a dream life! 😍'
'I have no idea how that ugly girl got one of them let alone both. 🤔 It makes no sense'
'They are so adorable!!!!!'
'He fucking deserves better have you seen her? 🤮'
'He lost a bet 😂😂😂'
'OTP OTP OTP 🥰'
I shut my eyes tight again and threw my phone on the bed before groaning low. All I could see behind my eyelids was a parade of emojis and I did the best I could to hold my tears in. I knew Niall was out of my league but some people could be so cruel when hiding behind a computer screen. The shower stopped and when Niall came back in the room, he was followed by a cloud of steam. I looked at him quickly from head to toes, enjoying the view as he walked up to me with only a towel around his waist.
"My turn!" I just said, jumping out of bed. He stopped me as I walked by and pulled me closer, making me chuckle low.
"You're all wet!" I complained jokingly, making him laugh.
"Then just take your clothes off."
His fingers reached for the top of my shirt and he pulled gently on the collar to move it down as his eyes dropped in. I felt my heart jump in my chest and shook my head, taking a step back and making him groan low.
"Pervert!" I added with a chuckle, walking to the bathroom.
I turned around and before closing the door, I stuck my tongue out at him, making him laugh again but I still locked behind myself. I knew my fear and my hatred for my own body was stopping me from living some great things with Niall but I just didn't feel ready to show him all of me. I just wanted him to think I was beautiful. I wanted to turn him on, I wanted him to want me the way I wanted him.
I brushed my teeth first and quickly got undressed and started the waterI stayed a bit longer than I should have in the shower, letting the warm water fall on me and relaxing me as the memories of the night before played over and over in my mind. It was still incredible and unbelievable to me that Niall had finally realized he had feelings for me too but it was my reality now and It felt like I would never get down from my cloud.
I got out of the shower, drying my hair the best I could with a towel before wrapping it around my body and remembering that I left my clothes in the room. I raised my nose up and inhaled deeply before going back. I frowned when I saw him laying in bed in only a pair of boxers and my phone in hands. He looked at me and sighed, turning the phone my way to show me the article I had been reading while he was in the shower.
"I'm sorry I checked your phone it's just..." he sighed again and shook his head. "You shouldn't read shit like that. You know those mean comments aren't true, right?"
I held my towel to make sure it wouldn't fall and sent him a sad smile, walking to the bed. He sat on it and I shrugged as he looked up, wrapping his arms around me.
"Liv, please, listen to me." he let out in a low but worried tone. "I feel so lucky to be with you. You are beautiful and I love you." he paused but he kept staring at me. "Olivia, I love you."
"It's just..." I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling him hold me tighter against him. "I don't know."
"Talk to me, okay?"
I nibbled on my bottom lip and finally just nodded. He let go of me and lied back down in bed, leaving space for me. I lied down next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. I felt secure suddenly and the fact that we weren't looking at each other anymore made it slightly easier.
"You've never seen me naked." I just pointed out.
"That's... correct." he seemed a bit confused. "And i'd like to change that."
My lips curled in a fond smile.
"I mean, I don't know what you're expecting but you may be disappointed." I tried to explain, feeling his arm pull me closer. "I am not shaped like Maya or Heidi or those girls you normally end up with."
Silence. All I could hear was the sound of my heart beating against my chest. He started drawing shapes on the skin of my arm with his fingertip and It made a shiver cross my body as my heart skipped a beat. It reminded me of that time at the movies...
"I only had sex with Maya a few times." he confessed, making me frown.
"Like, how many times?"
"I don't know, four?"
I knew they had dated for a while and it was surprising that they hadn't had sex more often. Clearly, she wanted him and no one could not want her. I frowned more, a bit confused by it but also wondering why exactly he was telling me that.
"Why?"
My question was not clear but I knew he'd understand.
"I couldn't." he explained, shrugging a shoulder. "I couldn't because I only wanted you."
I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. It was laughable to think someone had the chance to bang a girl like Maya but couldn't because they wanted me more.
"I guess my love for you made it impossible for me to lust after an other girl." he continued. "I don't know what you're scared of but I know I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone else. And I won't be disappointed because it'll be you. And that's all I want. You."
I let my eyes roam on his body and I couldn't deny that I wanted him, too. I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted him. Obviously, this relationship was based on more than sex but it seemed to be an issue and I understood that he wanted to solve it. I also wanted to share everything with him. We had never really talked about sex together, at least not about our personal sex life. It's not that it embarrassed me but I didn't want to hear about the girls he had sex with and what he did with them. it would have been too hard to hear because of my love for him and for that reason, I also kept my stories a secret to make sure he wouldn't tell me his. It was a precaution I took to avoid my heart being too broken and so far, it had worked.
"Remember when we were in my room and you were about to check in a drawer and I told you not to?" I started in a low voice, raising my eyebrows without looking at him. "It was not because of my underwear.. It's just that... it's the place I keep my vibrators."
His fingers stopped moving on my shoulder and I held my breath, a small smile playing on my lips. I hadn't expected to admit that to him and obviously, he hadn't expected to hear it either.
"Plural?"
"Yes."
We remained in silence for a while and he finally chuckled.
"That's so hot." he admitted, laughing a bit. "There's so many things I don't know about you when it comes to sex, Liv, and I'd love to talk about it with you."
My traits softened and I looked up at him, moving slightly to get my head on the pillow, my face turned his way. Talking about my body embarrassed me but talking about sex in general didn't and I was totally fine with that discussion.
"Okay, I go first!" I let out with a smirk. "Who's your favorite pornstar? And if you say Jenna Jameson I'm gonna be very disappointed in you."
He sent me an insulted frown, his lips slightly parted, and it made me laugh.
"Do you know me at all?" he just asked, making me laugh. "I don't think I have a favorite, but I guess I enjoy Shyla Jennings."
I raised my nose up and groaned a bit, still looking at him.
"I can't say I'm surprised, and I also can't blame you."
"Why not surprised?" he asked, raising his eyebrows curiously.
"She's your type." I laughed, moving my chin up to look at him better.
"Oh I have a type now?" he wondered as I nodded. "Alright then, who's your fave pornstar?"
My face changed and I shrugged with a small smile.
"Gina Valentina, no second thoughts."
I saw a bunch of emotions cross his face and it made me laugh as he shook his head.
"Wait, what?"
"Oh, you wanted a man?" I asked, amused by the conversation, as I sent him a smirk. "Tyler Nixon, then."
His eyes roamed on my face and I tried to guess what he was thinking about. He was discovering things about me that I never thought he'd know but I was totally fine with it: I had nothing to hide. His lips curled into a small but fond smile and I licked my lips, my eyes never leaving his. I felt his hand take mine and he placed his palm against mine before intertwining out fingers together.
"Tell me something that you did that I would never guess."
His voice was low and the atmosphere in the room had shifted completely. We looked at each other for a few seconds and I licked my lips. He brought his hand on my waist, now completely facing me, and my heart jumped in my chest at how good he looked.
"One time I had a threesome with two other girls."
His eyes opened slightly more and his eyebrows raised up, making me laugh. He held me tighter, his fingers sinking in the fabric of the towel I still had around me, and I knew he had many questions to ask.
"You did too, didn't you?" I kept talking, raising my eyebrows too as my eyes roamed on his face.
"Maybe." he sent me a smirk. "I mean, one time when I was very drunk... it happened. But the whole thing is a bit blurry."
I don't know why but it was a relief that he didn't remember it clearly and I licked my lips. It was ridiculous of me but I couldn't help it. I knew it was impossible but I wanted to be the only girl he'd lust... the one who would make him cum the hardest, the one he could never forget.
"Was it someone you were dating?"
"I was... seeing one of them." he admitted with a groan. "And it sort of killed whatever relationship we could have had."
I nodded slowly. "It was the same for me. We broke up only a few days later."
"When was that?" he asked with a frown, probably trying to remember something he wasn't even there for.
"During your third tour."
It made me realize how little I talked about myself when it came to relationship and how little I knew about him, too. I had met all his official girlfriend, although the number could be counted on the fingers of one hand (and not the whole hand), but I wasn't aware of all the 'maybe's' and 'almost's'.
"Are you scared of what could happen after we make love?" he finally asked after a long silence. "Or what I will think? Say?"
I sighed low and looked away. Every time the discussion switched back to my insecurities, I couldn't seem to look at him in the eyes. I knew he'd be able to read me and it scared me, but I also knew that at some point, i'd have to open up to him, or I would lose him.
I shook my head slightly, looking at our intertwined fingers and It suddenly hit me. If someone was going to be there no matter what, it would be Niall, the way he's always been there.
"I hate my body, I hate the way I look naked, and there's no way you will like it. These people online, your fans, or whatever, they're all right."
The words came out of my mouth and I didn't even think. Everything I said I meant so deep that it hurt. All of this I had thought and believed for so long that expressing them out loud gave me a shiver.
"You're beautiful." he just said in a whisper.
I looked up in his eyes and I could see that he was hurt. I licked my lips and swallowed hard as he let go of my hand to slide it back on the towel around me. He kept staring at me as his hand pulled gently on the fabric and an other shiver ran all over my body, not only because of the cold air hitting suddenly my damp skin but also because of the thought of being naked in front of him. He pushed the towel on the floor and I held my breath, biting my bottom lip and sucking my stomach in. I didn't know why I cared so much, I had no idea why I was so scared after everything he showed and said, but I couldn't help it.
His fingertips ran on my waist and to my hip, ending softly on my thigh and I swallowed hard as he sent me a small smile. Slowly, he moved over me, pushing me on my back, and I moved my chin up to keep eye contact with him. I loved the feeling of his over me, like the weight on my whole body was some sort of protection against everything else, even my own complexes. He bent closer and brushed his lips against mine so gently that I felt my heart twist in my chest.
"You're beautiful and I love you." he whispered, making my lips part lightly.
I couldn't move, I was paralyzed, but I forced myself to keep my eyes open when his lips brushed on my jaw and down my neck. They traveled to my breasts and when I felt his warm tongue on one of them, I whimpered, my body jerking very slightly at the feeling.
I wanted to tell him that I loved him too, that I had never been in love with anyone else and that I never would, but the words got stuck in my throat. His mouth moved to my other nipple and I tried to push away all the questions running in my mind without much success. What did he think? Was he disappointed? Was he still lusting me? Loving me?" Or did he just feel bad for me?
His hand reached for my stomach only a few seconds before his lips and he finally looked up at me, shaking his head from left to right and pressing his fingers gently on my skin.
"Don't do that." he asked in a breath.
It took me a few seconds but I finally exhaled and relaxed my body. His lips curled in a small but find smile and he mouthed a 'thank you', making me swallow hard. I didn't know if he realized the strength it took me and what it implied for me exactly, but he seemed to be grateful and that was enough for now.
Very slowly and softly, he pressed his lips on every inch of my skin as my heart seemed to flutter. I felt dizzy suddenly by the way he showed me love but I still couldn't move. I just focused on his mouth brushing everywhere it could and leaving a burning sensation on my skin. Nothing had ever felt like that before.
His hands glided on my thighs until my knees and he spread them slowly. His lips stopped on my lower stomach and the sight of him between my legs was incredible and way more exciting than anything I had imagined before.
"Is this okay?"
I stared at him a few seconds that seemed to last an hour and he waited, his eyes never leaving mine. I licked my bottom lip but nodded slowly but he kept looking at me as he brought his lips down. I held my breath when his lips left a kiss on my slit and I gripped the sheets with one of my hands.
I was completely naked, the curtains were open and I was with Niall. It was everything I had wished for yet it was also my biggest fear. I tried not to think about it when his fingers ran between my legs and his tongue pressed on my clit, making my body jerk again. It slid down and entered me and my eyes fluttered close as I restrained a curse word from escaping my lips.
"Oh my god." I breathed out, forcing myself to open my eyes if only to look at my boyfriend and burn the image of him eating me out on my retina forever.
His tongue and lips worked between my legs, making them twitch as I got closer and closer to an orgasm but it's only when he started sucking on my clit that my back arched and my eyes finally shut tight.
"F-" I stopped myself and started shaking but he held me down on the mattress with one of his arms as an orgasm crossed my whole body.
I couldn't stop squirming as the intense feeling invaded me from head to toes and it's only when it was gone that I whimpered, feeling both embarrassed and happy at the same time. I felt him crawl up my body and when I finally opened my eyes, he was hovering over me, holding himself with his elbows and smiling down fondly at me.
I felt my heart melt at the way he was looking at me and I smiled back, feeling my heartbeats accelerate. Out of fear, and out of love. I just didn't expect his next words but it brought me near tears.
"I didn't think it was possible, but I love you even more."
#niall horan#niall horan fluff#niall horan smut#niall horan fanfic#niall horan fan fic#niall horan fanfiction#niall horan writing#niall horan story#my fanfiction#amc#cant wait to write more of this tbh!
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Satisfy Me
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 | Chapter 31 | Chapter 32 | Chapter 33
Saeran POV. MM Fantasy AU. Fic Rating: Explicit
Tags thus far: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Rough Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Explicit Language, Derogatory Language, Masturbation, Violence, Blood and Violence, Torture
Her chest rose and fell as she took deep breaths. Leaning back on her elbows she attempted to scurry away from me. “S-Saeran don’t joke. There’s no way that’s—”
Grabbing her ankle, I slid beneath me as I climbed onto the mattress, the hem of her dress sliding up to her knees. “Does it look like I’m joking?” She shivered as I released her ankle and trailed my hand up her leg.
“W-Wait, Saeran!” She said as she grabbed the hem of her dress and held it down.
“I’ve told you before. If you’re going to stop me, you need to say it like you mean it. I’ve never been good with being told ‘no’.” I placed a hand on the side of her face, running my thumb along her lower lip. Her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink as she looked up at me. I smirked as I gently pulled down her lip and she absentmindedly touched the tip of her tongue to my thumb. “You don’t hide it very well.”
“I don’t hide what very well?”
Holding her chin I tilted her face up towards me. “That you want me to fuck you.”
“I-I don’t want…”
I rose an eyebrow as I carefully dragged the nail of my index finger down her throat and over the swell of her breast. “You don’t…?” I chuckled as she bit her lip and arched her back to keep the contact of my touch against her skin. “Could’ve fooled me.” I said as I ducked my head and kissed her breast.
“Nngh… N-no I don’t…” She said breathlessly as she started to reach for me.
Her eyes widened when I grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the bed. “How arrogant of you to think you’ll be able to touch me after you’ve caused me such turmoil in such a short amount of time.” I leaned in again and nipped at the lobe of her ear. “This time, as punishment, you don’t get to touch me.”
“But that’s not fair!” Her cheeks puffed slightly as she pouted. I looked down at her and smiled at her words. She suddenly froze, realizing what she had said. “It not like I wanted to touch you.”
“Then you won’t mind if I do this.” I released her wrists and grabbed the hem of the dress, ripping away some of the fabric. Before she could move away from me, I reached for her wrists again and tied them together. Sitting back on my heels I looked down at her, holding back a groan as I took in the sight before me. I’m definitely going to have to restrain her again.
She looked up at me, her eyes showing an internal fight between defiance and arousal. Her fight against the restraints was half-assed at best and I knew arousal was quickly taking control. Grabbing the makeshift restraint, I moved her bound wrists behind her head as I pressed my lips to hers. A pleasurable jolt made its way through my body and I immediately deepened the kiss, my tongue delving between her lips.
Despite her feeble protests a few minutes ago she, more than willingly, accepted the kiss. Her body squirmed beneath me and she didn’t even seem to realize what she was doing. She lifted her hips off the bed and whimpered with frustration when I put a hand against her hip and forced her back down against the mattress.
I pulled away from the kiss and looked at her half-lidded expression. With my hand still at her hip, I began to bunch up what was left of the train of the dress. When all the fabric was gathered at her waistline I trailed a hand down the outside of her leg. I smiled to myself and looked at her face as she bent her knee, trying to rush my touch.
“You’re not putting up much of a fight, _____.” I told her as I slowly slid my hand up the inside of her leg. She bit her lip and tilted her head back in response. I moved down her body and bit at the inside of her thigh, eliciting a small moan from her lips.
“Wh-What are…you doing?” She panted as she looked down at me.
I looked up at her from between her legs and locked my eyes with hers. “Punishment.” I smiled at her as I pressed my tongue against the dampened spot on her panties. Her hips jerked, and she moved her hands from behind her head. I quickly reached up and grabbed the material that held her wrists together. Sitting up slightly I flipped her over onto her stomach, her hands pinned beneath her own weight. “I told you, you don’t get to touch me.”
Holding her hips I lifted her to her knees and she, in turn, moved her hands to hold up her torso. She looked over her shoulder at me, shocked at the abrupt change. She opened her mouth to protest but quickly shut it and blushed as I hooked a finger on either side of her panties and started to pull them down. Pausing just for a moment to glance at her I, pulled them past her knees I tossed them to the side. I growled deep in my throat when I saw how wet she already was.
“D-Don’t look…at me…” She said nervously. Her body, however, shook with anticipation.
She let out a small moan as I traced the slit of her pussy with my finger, but she didn’t move from the position I had put her. “I think you like it when I look at your pussy.”
“Don’t call it that! It’s…embarrassing!”
I chuckled as I held her hips and leaned in. Pursing my lips, I blew cold air against her before sticking my tongue out and licking her. She gasped, and her fingers gripped at the sheets. Using my middle and index fingers I spread her pussy and continued to lap up her juices.
“S-Saeran, stop…I can’t…it’s too much!” Her last word game out in a squeak as I inserted the two fingers the held her open to me. The walls of her pussy clenched and pulsated as she came around my fingers. She fell forward, pressing her cheek against the cool sheets as she panted softly.
“That was fast.” I said as I removed my fingers and looked at the wetness from her pussy webbed between them. “And here I was hoping I could punish you by withholding the push to your orgasm.” I waited for her to look at me before I put my pussy-soaked fingers to my lips and licked them clean.
She swallowed hard and her hips swayed as she mumbled something. “Hmm? I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” She looked away, embarrassed. She turned her head, putting her face into the sheets, and mumbled louder. I sat up on my knees and pulled my pants down enough to release my cock. Leaning over her I whispered in her ear as slid the shaft of my cock against her. “That’s not how you tell me, _____.”
“Nnnngh…Please Saeran!” She pressed her ass back against me as she moaned.
I straightened up and held my cock in my hand gently prodding the entrance to her pussy with its head. “Please what?” I growled.
“P-Please fuck me! Ahhh…yes!” She moaned loudly as I thrust my cock fully into her pussy.
I slowly tilted my head back, as I reveled in the way her pussy hugged me. I grabbed her hips roughly, my nails biting into her skin as I began to pull out. I grunted as I thrust fully back into her. I knew I couldn’t be as rough as I wanted to be with her, and I bit the inside of my cheek until I could taste blood to keep from losing myself entirely.
She put her hands underneath herself and raised her body up again, changing the angle and making her pussy tighter. Fuck! I reached up and grabbed a fist full of her hair and pulled her back against me. She obediently kept her bound hands in front of her as I licked and nipped at the pulse in her neck. “I can feel you about to cum, _____.” I whispered in her ear. “You really like being fucked by me, don’t you?”
She closed her eyes tightly and moaned. “Y-Yes!”
With another growl I pushed her forward upping the speed and strength in my thrusts. Her moans grew higher in pitch with each thrust. Her body shook as she continued to hold herself up, and she screamed out my name as she came for the second time. I leaned over her and bit her shoulder as I thrust once more and felt the wave of ecstasy as I came inside her.
With my own body shaking slightly, I groaned as I pulled out of her. I quickly caught her as she slumped to the side. I adjusted her position on the bed to a more comfortable looking one and began reaching for her face.
“You were too rough starting out like that, sire. Her body has been through a great deal of stress.” I quickly pulled my hand back and looked towards the door. Ricward had walked into the room with a tray balanced on one hand.
“Does everyone get a thrill from walking in after I fuck someone?!” I quickly moved the hem of the ruined dress to cover _____.
Ricward put his free hand to his mouth to stifle a laugh. “I assure you, Your Highness. My entrance is purely coincidental. I didn’t knock because things were oddly quiet when I returned. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t let unsupervised.”
“Sure, whatever.” I’m going to have to put fucking locks everywhere, so I can fuck in peace! “What is that?”
“Just water for now, Sire. She’ll have to stay hydrated, especially after having your…attentions.” He said as he fanned himself dramatically.
I ignored him and looked back at _____. I reached out and gently brushed the hair out of her face before lifting her hands and removing the fabric that bound them. Without thinking, I raised her wrists to my lips and closed my eyes as I kissed the reddened marks that now marred them.
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That Woman Over There - Chapter 19
A You Me and Him Fix-it Fic
Rating: Teen, for some mature themes
Word count: 4680
Warnings: none
Summary: ~ Set after the birth of Monty, Olivia’s baby ~ A dear friend of Olivia comes to visit for a week, and she disturbs the fragile peace between her, Alex, and John.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7| Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11| Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18
A crash woke Connie from her restless slumber. Alex teetered in the foyer, looking like death warmed over. A wave of sour liquor and marijuana smoke made her eyes water.
“Little Miss Jet Set. Yo,” she said. She bumped into the side table in the hallway, and the ceramic bowl on it wobbled and fell. Connie caught it and put it back on the table. She guided her into the kitchen.
“Hair of the dog?” she said, pointing to the bottle.
Alex’s face crumpled. “Where’s Liv?”
“Sleeping. Where were you?”
She waved the question away and started up the stairs.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Alex,” Connie said. “We need to have a talk.”
“We don’t got nothing to talk about,” she said. She tried to open the bedroom door, but it was locked. Connie climbed the stairs and grabbed her hand just as she was going to pound on the door.
“No,” Connie said, giving her a steely look. For the first time, Alex appreciated their difference in height. This was the same women who had scared off two boozehounds from John’s house with a cricket bat and some choice trash talk. Despite the namecalling, she realized in short order than Connie was no posh shortbread that crumbled at the slightest pressure.
Alex deflated. She wasn’t in the mood for a fight. Not after yesterday.
“Yes, we do have plenty to talk about. I dried the tears of not one, but two people last night.”
“John?” she said, squinting at her as she walked her back into the kitchen. “You wearing his clothes now?”
She poured some liquor in a glass. “Sit. Drink. Talk to me.”
Alex looked out the window at John’s house. “You spend the night with him?”
“You reek. Where have you been?”
She collapsed into a chair and drank down the shot. “I took a taxi to my mam’s.” You could smell her five paces out.“She was having one of her little get-togethers,” she said. “Boozing it up with some friends.”
“You left your phone, and Olivia was going crazy trying to reach you,” Connie said.
“I didn’t want to ruin it - from the rain, yanno,” she said. She pointed at the glass. Connie poured.
“It this something you do often?” Connie asked. “Take a breather?”
“Haven’t done it alone in a while,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut. “But John just ... ran away.”
“Is he the type to run after a difficult conversation?” Connie asked.
“I didn’t think so,” Alex said. She trembled from the liquor. It was a common morning sight for Connie - her mother was often shivering and sour as she gave her cursory inspection of her uniform before she went off to school. “Maybe you should tell me. You’re getting to know him quite well.” She gave her baleful eyes, then put her face in her hands.
“You still paint?” Connie asked, apropos of nothing.
Alex peeked between her fingers at her. She thought she would be offended by her frankness. She was an odd duck.
“Not really.”
“Oh,” Connie said.
“I still get ideas. More and more now, but I’m busy, and my makeshift studio is now Monty’s bedroom.”
“You don’t even have a sketchbook, bullet journal, whatever?”
“Listen, I thought you were gonna tear me a new one about leaving Olivia, or what I confessed to John. I’m crashing hard, so get started or you’ll be ranting at a corpse.”
Connie gave her a look, then stood to make herself some coffee. As she grabbed a cup out of the cabinet, she caught of whiff of John on her skin, and smiled. Surprisingly, Alex didn’t move as she brewed and put sugar and cream into it.
She sat down, sipped, and sighed. It was very good, and the creamy richness only piqued her appetite. She was starving. She wondered what John was making her for breakfast next door-
“Oh my God, fucking say something already,” Alex croaked.
“John did not discuss what you spoke about,” she said calmly, and took another sip. She stared out the kitchen window. The sky outside was graphite with rain clouds.
Alex couldn’t restrain her groan. It wasn’t even important enough to tell Connie? Or … Olivia? So this little interrogation technique had nothing to do with it, then. She didn’t know whether to feel relief or despair.
“Do you have a portfolio?” she said. She crossed her legs. Alex noticed her[John’s] pants were a bit tight on her. They still managed to look good.
“Yeah, portfolio’s in a USB somewhere. Sketchbooks and canvases are at my mam’s gatherin’ dust. Not even she has the heart to throw them out after I told her to get rid of everything after Jo.”
Connie nodded sympathetically. It made her stomach seize, but she was able to keep last night’s excesses down.
“I’ve met a lot of people like you in New York,” Connie said.
Alex pouted. “Eh? What you mean?”
“Wannabe artists, singers, actors. Beautiful, sometimes talented, but they all have something in common.”
“They’ve got no money?” Alex said.
Connie laughed. “We’ve all had that in common,” she said.
Alex snorted. Connie remained calm.
“When I graduated, I had an internship with the virology department of the Red Cross,” she said. “My father was very proud. He imagined I’d eventually get my doctorate, cure the AIDS epidemic, and save the world.”
Alex was confused.
“Instead, I went to Thailand for four months and studied traditional floral oblations in the buddhist temples. Needless to say, he was furious.”
“AIDS? Oblations?” Alex said, rubbing her head. What the bloody hell was she going on about?
“It wasn’t easy. Neither of my parents were happy, so they cut me off with a quickness.”
Alex snorted again. “No more first class for you.”
“Nope. It was coach, buses, and third class on the train for me - when I could afford it. But I wanted to prove to them I had it in me. I swear, I survived on pot noodles and pride then.”
“Good ol’ pot noodles. Ever had em’ with cheese?”
“Sometimes I couldn’t afford cheese,” she said.
Alex looked at her. There were fine lines at the corners of her eyes. She saw a single thread of silver at her temple. She was no silly spoiled girl.
“But what about your da?” she said.
“What about him?” Connie said. “Like I said, he was angry. He thought I was throwing away my potential, and wasting my life. He didn’t want to be any part of it.”
“But what about a … what’s it bloody called ... a trust fund?”
Connie smiled. “That wasn’t really our situation,” she said. “I’m no trust fund baby. My ass was in the wind.”
“I’ll have another drink,” Alex said, reaching for the bottle.
“Wouldn’t you rather have a coffee?” Connie said, grabbing it. “Olivia will be up soon.”
Alex slumped in her chair, but she didn’t fight her. “I suppose. Make it black. No sugar.”
Connie made her coffee and set it in front of her. She slammed it, then hissed at its bitterness.
“What are you getting at?” Alex said. The caffeine hit her system fast.
“What do you really want for your life?” Connie asked. “What are your goals?”
Alex winced as she took another burning sip. “I dunno. Goals? Finish uni, I suppose. Liv will murder me otherwise.”
“That’s it? What happens after you finish school?”
“Work until I die? It’s a bit early to take inventory,” Alex said.
“How about dreams?”
“Ride a rainbow pegacorn to Glastonbury?” she said. Connie laughed with her whole body, like John. And, like John, it was beautiful to see.
Connie wiped her eyes. “That was brilliant. But … really. What are your dreams?”
“Are we on a date or something?” Alex said. “Are you gonna ask me what my favorite things are next?”
“As I just came from someone else’s bed, this date’s already off to a shitty start,” Connie said. “Go on. Tell me.”
That hurt, although she didn’t mean for it to do so. Alex rubbed at her chest.
“I want ... “ she took a deep breath. “I don’t want to teach. I want to do. I want to create, and be an artist.”
“That’s it?” Connie said. Alex rolled her eyes. “Then why aren’t you?”
“I am,” she said, looking down at the condensation rings on the table.
“It doesn’t work that way. In the art world, you are if you do, ie, work. Talent means nothing without work, and lots of it.”
Alex took another searing gulp of coffee.
“You’ve got to push yourself, seek new experience to enrich and inspire you. I once nearly shit myself to death in India,” Connie said.
Alex did a spit take, and nearly choked on her laughter. “Super inspiring. Ha!” Connie wiped her face and smiled.
“Laugh it up if you like. It’s only funny now, since I didn’t die in a ditch, covered in flower petals and poop.”
Alex wiped her mouth. “But how?”
“A friend of mine told me about a picturesque festival in the Kerala region called Onam. They have games, and parades, and a huge banquet-”
“Say no more,” Alex said, still smiling.
“What attracted me to it are the traditional and sometimes elaborate flowerpetal designs called Pookalam. I learned so much, and everyone was so kind and excited about my interest in their celebration.”
“And?” Alex said.
“And, of course, I joined them for their feast. I ate too much. Thing is, the doctor told me later it wasn’t even the food. It was some bad water I had at the hostel. It fucked me up well and proper, I’ll tell you,” she said as Alex burst forth a fresh peal of giggles. “I was in a clinic for a week and a half.”
“Did your da know?”
Connie shrugged. “Nah. The last thing I need to hear when I was at death’s door was I told you so,” she said. “They had a fancy private hospital close by, too. I just couldn’t afford it.”
“Were you scared?” Alex said.
“Yeah. But ... I dunno ... I was young and in love with my life. And I was surrounded by friends. It made recovering easy. But I learned a lesson - only bottled or boiled water. Always.”
Alex snorted. “Noted.”
Connie grabbed the bottle of dark rum and put a splash in her coffee.
“In love with your life,” Alex repeated. She liked the way it sounded. To be in love with what’s happening, taking in new experiences, creating…
“What was the tipping point for you?” she asked.
“How so?” Connie said, sipping her spiked coffee.
“When did all that work pay off?”
She sighed. “Ironically, despite all that travel, it happened at home. A photographer friend of mine was using some of my sculptures as a color study. It was more meant as practice for both of us, honestly. He accidently left a couple of shots in a roll he gave to a newspaper client. They called him, asking about it.”
“And?” Alex said.
“Turns out she was the daughter of a Texas Senator, who was plant crazy - a huge environmentalist in a sea of oil interests. She loved the photos, and insisted I do floral design for a DC fundraiser to further her cause. I confected a rainforest, complete with thick mist and an indoor river, in December. That was that.”
“Indoor fucking river?” Alex said, incredulous.
“Oh yeah. With fish and everything. It was a clusterfuck of crazy, but we did it, goddamnit. We had to have wranglers there from the National Zoo, since we also had animals. Not my idea - but she was dead set on it. You haven’t lived until you have a stare off with a mountain gorilla over the appetizer in your hand.”
“That’s fuckin’ bonkers,” Alex said, slapping her thigh. “I want to do that!”
“Then do it,” Connie said. “You’re too young to not be living the life you want to live. There’s no reason.”
Alex ran her fingers through her tangled blond hair thoughtfully. “But what about Livvie?”
“What about her?”
“I can’t leave her and Monty here while I go off on my fine adventures.”
“You can’t?” Connie said pointedly. “At least those kind of adventures are a step in the right direction.” She waved her hand in front of her face at her ciggie and liquor stink.
Connie was right. She wanted to hate her so fucking bad she could taste it, but she couldn’t. It irritated her. She made it sound so romantic. So easy. But all she had was her paints, some canvas, and a vague idea of the direction she wanted to go.
“But … I don’t know how. I wouldn’t know where to start, even. It’s been so long.”
“Art’s like sex. You never forget how. And everyone has their own taste.”
“Art’s like fucking,” Alex repeated. “I like that. I’m stealing it.”
“I thought you would,” Connie said, and winked. “And you do know exactly where to start.”
“No, I don’t,” Alex said.
Connie pulled something out of her pocket - a small card. She clutched it in her hand.
“I’m gonna give you something I didn’t have,” she said. “But I’m wondering whether you’re ready.”
She stared a Connie’s balled fist. “Ready how?”
“Although it’s fun and I wouldn’t choose any other life, the art world is no motherfucking game. It’s dog eat dog. Are you a boss bitch?”
Alex’s eyes narrowed. “What’s in your hand?”
She opened her fist and looked at the card. “It’s a key. Not even a key … it’s a map to the key.”
“You’re talking in riddles, Rumpelstiltskin. Spit it out. I’ve got a rager of a headache.”
Connie slid the card in front of her. “Fine. It’s a name.” She picked it up and squinted at it. It was exactly as she said. A name, and a London telephone number.
“Who this?” she said.
They both jumped as John yanked open the kitchen door and peeked in.
“Is Olivia up yet-” he went silent when he saw Alex. She jumped up, nearly spilling her coffee. She stuffed the card in her pocket.
“John.” It came out breathless. He gave her an abashed, hurt look that made Connie’s hackles go up, but she remained silent.
He turned to Connie. “Breakfast is ready.” He disappeared. Alex ran out behind him. Connie rose and stared out the kitchen window in curiosity.
🌹🌹🌹
“Hey, mate, where you goin”? She said, chasing after him. He stopped after he crossed the hedge, and she bumped into his back. She had to control the urge to hug him. He turned to face her. He looked so amazing. There was a new warmth and glow exuding from him that made her queasy stomach go away. She didn’t know whether it was her budding feelings … or his.
She looked toward the kitchen window. Connie wasn’t there.
“Why’d you go off running last night?”
His jaw worked, and his normally gentle eyes were hard. He sighed, and walked into his kitchen. It smelled spicy, like egg and pepper. She sneaked a look at the pan. Toast popped up suddenly and made her jump.
“You don’t make me breakfast anymore,” she said.
“You have uni, and a family,” he said. He sat on the butcher block.
“Ye have Uni, and a family,” she mimicked, trying to make him laugh. But he was getting paler and paler with anger. She was a bit lightheaded with liquor and caffeine. She sat down at his small kitchen table.
“Hey, um, is this thing, you know … clean and that?” she said. He gave her an intense look.
She put her hands up. “Sorry. Just checking. So Connie’s wearing your threads now?”
He darted forward to turn the stove off before the eggs dried out.
“I got you those pants she’s wearing. You remember? We got ‘em on that trip to the seaside, but they were too long for me, so I gave them to you. That was fun, even though Olivia got a wicked sunburn,” she snorted with laughter. “I wonder whether those crabs still have the dirty words on their shells. What d’you reckon?”
John frowned, but his eyes shone with tears. He looked at Liv’s kitchen window. Where was Connie? He didn’t dare look at Alex, for fear of what he might say. His throat burned.
“Mam was asking after you, by the way. She sends her love and a backhand slap to your arse,” she said. Her mam had a bit of a crush on him. At first, she found it a bit embarrassing. Now, she understood. Who wouldn’t have a crush on him?
He jumped off the butcher’s block and started to wipe down the counters.
“Calm down, Holly Housewife. The place is spotless,” she said, walking to the sink. She turned on the cold water tap and put her whole head in the spray. The cold helped with the hangover. She squeezed the water out of her hair and gave him a pointed look. “Could I get a towel, bruv?”
He handed her a kitchen towel and leaned against the counter, arms crossed. She noticed the blood red beads on his wrist.
“Connie gifting expensive jewelry to you? How avant garde,” she said. He tucked his hands in his armpits and said nothing.
“Are we ever gonna talk about what the hell happened last night?” she said, fluffing her hair. “I’m fresh out of small talk.”
He remained quiet. His stillness was extremely unnerving.
“Jesus, man, say something!” she raised her voice with frustration.
“Saying something is precisely the thing I’m trying to avoid right now,” he said.
She dropped the towel. “Don’t do this. You have no idea how completely gutted I was when you just-”
“You were gutted?” he said, his eyes wide with disbelief.
“It wasn’t something that came from the blue, okay? Please don’t think that. It’s been on my mind for weeks. And the feeling? Months, maybe,” she shook her head.
“Months,” he said softly.
“This is all very new to me. Seeing a man this way. Seeing … you this way. Forgive me if I can’t express myself good enough.”
He ran his fingers through his hair and groaned. “I …”
She touched his wrist. She despised the fact the he refused eye contact. Now, more than ever, she needed to look in his eyes. Anger made her muscles tight. How many times had he chased meaningful eye contact in the last year? And each time she had laughed it off. She wanted to slap herself on her own stupid twat mouth.
“I ran because I didn’t want to say something in anger that I would later regret,” he said.
“Anger? Why?”
He closed his eyes. “Really, Alex? I know you sometimes miss a social cue or ten, but...”
She squeezed his wrist. “Speak.”
“Do you really think I can just turn my heart on and off at your convenience like that? That I’d just jump at the opportunity to break Olivia’s heart, and ruin my relationship with Monty to play house with you? That we could just start dating now, even though I live right next door to them both, and pretend like it isn’t the most horrific thing anyone could ever do to a friend? Is that what you’ve been thinking for the last … months, according to you?”
“We were lovers before,” she said, looking down at her bare feet. Grass stuck to the damp between her toes.
He leaned in. “We were not lovers. Not ever. We are friends who made a huge mistake, and paid dearly for it. There’s a difference,” he whispered.
“So Jo was a mistake?” Alex said. Her voice wavered with emotion.
“No, she a surprise. But, at the same time,“ he ruffled his hair nervously with both hands, ”it was a stupid, selfish, callous thing.”
“It didn’t feel like friendship. The way you touched me...” Her face was red, but she had to get it out. “It was something new. And beautiful.”
“I was really drunk,” he said, his voice high with emotion.
“So was I,” she said. “But I remember everything. Every caress. I’ve never been touched like that before.”
Sweat beaded his brow. He was getting queasy again. Resentment made him want to yell, but he controlled himself.
“Of course not. I’m not a woman.”
“Do you think I’m a complete asshole?” Alex snapped. “Duh. That’s not it.”
He bit his lower lip. Why did this feel like déjà vu? He was getting a headache.
“It was different, but not in the obvious sense. It was- you were gentle. It made my heart ache. I never thought-”
“It was one night,” he said tensely. He didn’t feel comfortable having this conversation with Connie just 50 feet away, waiting on the breakfast he promised her. He wanted her, and he wanted this conversation to be over already. His lower lip trembled.
“It was enough,” Alex said. “I thought sex with a bloke would be all sweaty and smelly and bristly and weird, but it wasn’t. Well, a bit bristly since you had the beard, but not all the other stuff. You're a bloody fantastic kisser. Gorgeous, actually. You big dork.”
“Are you done?” John said after a moment. His voice cracked.
She squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. But I thought once I did, I could give you some time to think and we could make a decision.”
“Just like that. ‘Make a decision’. Ride off into the sunset, perhaps?”
“On a rainbow pegacorn,” she said softly. He gave her a perplexed look.
“Is this all a game to you?” he said.
“No,” she said. “I’m dead serious.”
“And you’ve said your piece?” he said.
“Yeah.”
He sat down at the kitchen table and rubbed his arms. The soft shh shh of palm against skin made her wistful. She wanted to touch.
“Al,” he shook his head. “I cherish my friendship with you and Olivia-”
“Can you stop mentioning her, for fuck’s sake? This ain’t about her.”
His eyebrow rose. “But it effects her intimately, don’t you think?”
“You didn’t care so much before, did you?”
“Things change,” he said. She hated the look on his face. And his rigid body language. The corners of his eyes were seamed with lines. Why did everyone around her look so much older all of a sudden?
“What’s changed from last week to this week? Only one thing. Why don’t you just sack up and say it. It’s Connie.”
“It’s not about her,” he said again.
“I’ll be fucked if it’s not. But she’s leaving in less than 24 hours. Then things can get back to normal.”
“To getting drunk with your mam, barely skating by at uni, and chicken on Sunday, like you said? D’you actually think things could get back to the way they were after this?”
“I was hoping they’d be better for both of us,” Alex said.
“For both of us,” he said, rubbing his face. He needed a shave. “But fuck the rest of humanity.”
She shrugged. “No one else matters.”
He shook his head. “This … it’s not right.”
“I’m sorry that I kept it from you. But again, I didn’t know what was going on in my head, and I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure.”
“Monty’s birthday is a month and a half off and now’s the time to make your big confession?”
“Better now than later. The timeline got fucked up,” she said. He knew she spoke about Connie. And she was right. It gave him the strength to speak.
“I don’t need time to think, Alex.”
“And?” she said, looking at him.
“We are friends.Things got confusing for a bit, but I’m not confused about how I feel about you now.”
She waited for him to finish his thought. Her future hung in the balance. Her eyes burned, but she was resolved not to cry like a spoiled quim, although she ached to do it. This situation was already fucked enough.
“I’ll always be there for you, and for Olivia, and Monty. You’re like family to me.”
“Family,” she said. Two tears chased their way down her right cheek. “Like, I’m a sister to you?”
“No. But we won’t be lovers. We can’t.”
“Can’t? Why, if it’s what we both want?”
“Wanted, once. But not anymore.”
“So, if Connie never-”
“It would’ve been this way even if I’d never met her,” he said. And he actually believed himself. It was true.
“Horseshit!” Alex said.
“I would never lie to you,” he said, looking at his hands. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.”
“Humping a baby into me might’ve done it, yeah,” she said, standing up.
“I will always love Jo,” he said, shaking his head. “Don’t bring her up.”
“I’ll bring her up all I fucking want,” she said. “I still have the stretch marks, and the empty space in my heart that feels like it’s never gonna go away.” She burst into tears. “Shit!” She pounded his fist on his counter. He got up and tried to hug her. She slapped his face hard. “Fuck off.”
He was taken aback by her violence, but he persisted. She slumped against him almost immediately. She punched his chest softly, then let him put his arms around her. Again, he pressed his lips in the damp hair at the top of her head. She wrapped her arms around his waist and sniffled in his chest.
“What am I gonna do, John?” she said.
“You’ll have to figure that out on your own. But I promise I will not say anything. To anyone. If and when you want to share, you can.”
“How noble of you,” she said.
He squeezed once more and let go. “I think you need to go home and get some rest.”
“Do I tell Connie to come back now?” she said sarcastically.
“Please. Breakfast is getting cold.”
“Oh, right,” she said. “I’ll get on it.” It took everything to keep from crumpling into sobs again. But she had hope that just as soon as Connie was gone, things might shift in her favor.
“Until later.”
🌹🌹🌹
She ran across the yard and slammed into the kitchen, where Olivia was eating breakfast.
“Morning,” she said. Her face was impassive, and still blotchy with sleep.
“Morning,” Alex said, suddenly awkward. “I need a bath. Desperately.”
“You do,” she said as she stirred Monty’s breakfast. Monty squealed and reached out for her. Seeing the little one made her want to burst into fresh tears. She loved him so much it hurt. What the everloving fuck was she doing? Her stomach lurched.
She groaned and made herself another cup of coffee - she was plenty exhausted, but she had class in two hours. There was no time for sleep.
The hairs on her arms stood on end. She couldn’t begin deconstructing the last 12 hours to Olivia. She brushed by her side as she grabbed Monty’s special spoon.
“Where were you?” she said. She sounded exhausted.
“Where’s Connie?” Alex was surprised she didn’t fill Olivia in on their conversation.
“I don’t know. She borrowed the keys to my car and left about 5 minutes ago. Said she needed some air-”
Alex ran outside, and the car was gone from the driveway.
“Fuck!” She needed the car to get to class. If she had to take the bus, she’d lose her shit. A woman walking by with her dog gave her a dirty look. Alex stuck out her tongue.
She ran to John’s kitchen window and rapped on it.
“Yeah?” he said.
“She’s gone, mate. Took Olivia’s car and went off to get some air,” she said, doing air quotes.
“Fuck!” he said. Could she have heard their conversation? He didn’t see her anywhere when he looked out the window earlier. “Fuck,” he said again, but it was not an exclamation. The last hour had exhausted him beyond those. He grabbed his phone and his keys and bolted out the door.
Next Chapter
#that woman over there#you me and him#David Tennant#fan fiction#alex's confession#she lights matches just to swallow the flame
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