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3rachasdomesticbanana · 1 day

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So Blue | Han Jisung

•Synopsis: Who can you turn to in a dire situation if not your best friend? That's what Jisung thought when he texted you. Heart racing with fear that your best friend was hurt, you rush to his side. What you find however will change everything...

•Pairings: non idol Jisung x Female Reader

•Content Includes: smut, friends to lovers, strong language, mention of sexual enhancement drug, light anxiety, creampie, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, cum eating

an: photos of Han used in title graphic have been edited for entertainment purposes by me and are not real. no harm is intended in the edited pictures. also please do not take any enhancement meds without talking to a doctor for your own safety. i don't condone the behavior that's written.

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The house is quiet, way too quiet when you step inside. Knowing Chan, Changbin, and Jisung for years, you know it's never this quiet when they're around and it's unsettling... Shutting the door behind you and glancing around, you see nothing out of the ordinary. So far everything looks exactly the way you left it last night after the four of you hung out. Just as you're about to walk into the kitchen, you hear Jisung start calling your name from his bedroom. Your heart races with panic and you rush towards his room, dropping your bag on the floor along the way. All kinds of awful scenarios play in your mind and when you burst into his room you half expect to find him bloody or with a broken bone, not sitting on the edge of his bed in a white sleeveless shirt and black shorts, with his legs spread sporting a massive hard-on.

"Wait, why me?" you blurt out, when Jisung explains that he needs your help. Your cheeks heat up as you steal a quick glance at the unmistakable bulge in his shorts. There's a mix of embarrassment and unexpected arousal that floods through you, leaving you flustered.

You're shocked, jaw practically hitting the floor. Who knew he was so… big? After all these years of friendship, you never thought of him in any other way except as your weird and talented friend. But now, seeing him in this state… It's making you feel things you'd rather deny and your stomach is flipping like crazy. Every now and then you notice that his cock twitches underneath his shorts as if it's alive, pulsating and drawing your eyes down to it again despite how hard you try not to stare. Kind of hard when something that size is practically waving “Hello” at you.

"I- I can't tell the guys this. They'd clown me for life," Jisung stammers, fidgeting as he looks at you from across his messy room. Plastic water bottles scattered, tissues crumpled on the floor—yeah, it's pretty clear what he's been up to before you got here.

"Well, what do you expect me to do, Han Jisung?" you retort, emphasizing his full name for dramatic effect.

"I don't know," he mumbles, shrugging his shoulders. "It's been hours. I can't even leave my room. It hurts, y/n."

When he grabs at the stiffness beneath his cotton shorts and lets out a low groan, you stop breathing. Why does this have to turn me on? He's my best friend! You mentally scold yourself, tearing your gaze away. Shit, it's hot in here. Your body feels too hot all over. It's like standing too close to a blazing fire, the heat making you squirm uncomfortably.

"Ji... we need to get you to the hospital," you say, avoiding his gaze. "You've seen those commercials."

"Please, no! I can't let anyone see me. Did you forget, your bestie Annie, who also happens to be Chan's girl, works there. If she sees me, it's game over. She'll tell him." Jisung pleads, hands clasped together, desperation evident in his wide brown eyes. Those puppy dog eyes of his always get to you.

"Dude, what were you even thinking, taking Love?" you groan, plopping down on the cozy carpet with a heavy thud, completely confused by your friend's decision to take an enhancement pill.

You remember seeing those late-night infomercials a couple of years back, pushing that blue heart-shaped pill. They call it 'Love' because of the 'L0-V3' stamped on it. Basically it's like Viagra, but it's mixed with a very low dose of THC. They advertise that it does more than just keep things up. 'Guaranteed to give you the ultimate pleasure,' they say.

Jisung shrugs, watching you with a miserable expression. “I was curious if it would make masturbating feel different, better maybe? I mean it did the first 6 times. Wah! The orgasms were fucking mind blowing y/n.” He smiles and chuckles.

"Ji, oh my god! Ugh, have mercy on my ears bro." Both of you burst into laughter, but then you notice Ji wincing in pain. Your mood quickly shifts from playful to genuine concern.

"It hurts that much?" you ask, feeling awful that he's so uncomfortable.

He nods weakly, “It's not even just my dick but my balls feel so fuckin’ heavy. Like they're literally going to rip from my body.”

You cringe inwardly, fingers pressing into your ears as he launches into yet another one of his oversharing moments. His lack of filter has always been a trademark of his, but that's just Jisung being Jisung. After being friends since grade five, it's like he's incapable of holding back anything with you. You remember the day he lost his virginity, he texted you literally right after. His excitement was evident even through the phone. As a joke you got him a cake in the shape of the letter ‘V’. That was in highschool and his habit of sharing way too much is still going strong in your twenties. Only difference is this time his oversharing is doing things to you.

The dampness between your thighs, well, that's just gotta be a coincidence, right? I mean, it's not like the sight of your long time buddy sporting a hard-on is doing anything for you. It's more than likely just the frustration of being on a three-year dry spell. Yeah, that's gotta be it. It's definitely because you haven't been fucked in a long time and not Jisung himself. You give your head a shake, dropping your hands from your ears with a wry smirk.

"Ji, we've really gotta do something… before it gets worse. You don't want it to fall off." You tell him jokingly, trying to keep the mood light but you're feeling worried all over again.

"Yeah, yeah I know. You're right, but what are we supposed to do? I've tried everything, even beatin' it 11 times, and still no luck.” He says, sounding so casual about his masturbatory activities.

You let out an embarrassed groan and fall back dramatically onto the floor, while Jisung lets out a pitiful whine. You grab your phone and start searching for home remedies but after an hour of scrolling, you're still at square one. Not a single remedy seems feasible. Leeches? Nah, no way. As if either of you would go near those slimy things. And some tea from a self-proclaimed witch sounds sketchy as hell. Plus, she's halfway across the globe. It would take forever to get here, if it even would. Jisung hasn't had any luck either. Every twenty minutes You hear him curse under his breath and run his hands through his hair. You two are running out of options, and as time passes, you start to feel more and more useless.

"Y/n," Jisung whispers your name after another forty minutes of searching, his voice hesitant.

You look up at him, doe eyed and innocently chewing your lip. “Hm? What's up, Hannie? Did you find something?” With a strained grunt he nods in response looking at you intensely.

“Fuck, shit.” He mutters under his breath, almost like he's talking to himself. “My dick... It won't go down without…”

“Ji what is it? You're freaking me out. Without what?” You scramble up onto your knees and crawl over to the bed, inching closer to him, eyes full of concern.

Jisung looks like he's in absolute agony watching you crawl over to him. His emotions are all over the place, you can practically feel the tension radiating off of him when you reach the bed. His eyes are like flames, burning far too hot when he looks at you. You can see the struggle written all over his face like he's fighting with himself.

“Y/n, you're making it harder,” Jisung breathes out, his voice husky and balling his hands into fists as he tries to keep his composure.

You sit beside him scrunching up your face and like the good friend that you are, you place a comforting hand on his knee. Jisung's breath catches in his throat and a flush creeps up his neck when you touch him making him suddenly feel lightheaded.

"What do you mean 'making it harder'? I'm here trying to help you, remember?” You say, your voice soft and tinged with hurt. The pain in your voice and eyes catches him off guard. He's stammering, suddenly aware of how his words might've come out wrong.

He didn't mean for it to sound bad. You're the last person he'd ever want to hurt. But today, everything you do just seems to set him off. He's been trying so damn hard to push his feelings aside. But it's like having you in his room, despite you being here a million times before, it's messing with his head. He can't think straight. You've always been stunning to him, and yeah, maybe he's entertained some inappropriate thoughts about you in the past, but that was only once. Maybe it's the pill messing with his head but you’re making it impossible for him to focus on anything but you.

“N- no I mean, I’m grateful you're here, really love. You're the only one who can help me. I just mean… you're making it harder. Ya know?” He stammers, licking his lips nervously. He nods down once looking down at his lap before back at you and bites his lip feeling embarrassed. Your eyes flick down to his shorts and go wide when you understand.

"What? How?!" You glance down at your outfit. His black hoodie with the paint splatters that you borrowed a few days ago, paired with simple black leggings. Nothing revealing, yet you're somehow making his cock even harder than it already was.

"You're over there moaning and then you start crawling towards me on all fours. I mean, come on, how could anyone not get turned on by that? Shit!" He chuckles nervously, feeling his heart racing. He hides his face in his hands, laughing, and murmurs something when you giggle.

"You're such a perv, Ji." You tease, still chuckling as you playfully pry his hands away from his face. "Now try that again. I'm not fluent in mumbles, sorry.”

“I said… I just read that it won't go down without intercourse. Bro, I don't exactly have a girlfriend. I'm so fucked.” He sighs, sounding completely defeated.

Your smile falters when you see just how miserable he looks. It's been a while since he was last in a relationship, that was true. Probably a little longer than you, about four years now. His last one ended when she demanded he choose between you and her. She couldn't stand the fact that you would spend the night in the spare bedroom where Jisung, Chan, and Changbin recorded their music, dreaming of making it big someday. Jisung ended things with her on the spot; he wouldn't be with someone who couldn't accept his friends. Apparently she had issues with Minho too, which was probably what really did it for him. But somehow, you can't shake off the feeling that their breakup was somehow your fault, that his single status is on your shoulders.

“I'm sorry Hannie. We'll um, we can figure something out.” You reassure him, innocently rubbing his knee.

Without thinking much, your fingers gently glide over his skin comfortingly, feeling the tenseness in his muscles. He's so stressed. It breaks your heart seeing him like this. You don't know what to do right now other than offer him comfort. There are no answers or solutions that you can think of to give him. All you can do is show him that you're in it together as always. You start rambling on about how you two are both probably freaking out for no reason and that everything will be fine soon. But as your fingers continue to move in innocent slow circles, Jisung starts shifting. It goes unnoticeable by you so you keep talking. It's all nonsense really, delving into something completely random and off topic in an attempt to distract him from the issue at hand, only Jisung isn't processing a single word you've said. He's far too focused on your hand.

The moment your hand landed on his knee he prayed you wouldn't move it, he prayed you would. He tried so hard to focus on anything other than the heat and softness of your hand on his bare skin. It's too much though and his mind starts to quickly wander. He freezes and tries to focus on your voice but it's impossible. Jisung can't stop the thoughts that his mind creates or the images that begin to come into focus. He's imagining your hand sliding up his thigh until it's slipping under his shorts. He can almost feel it happening, his sudden daydream becoming so vivid. In his mind's eye he can see you take him into your hands, feel you stroking him until he's a mess and spilling all over your fingers. He's fighting his demons and you're oblivious to it all. You just continue to talk all while the sensation of your hand is driving him up the wall. He can feel the sudden familiar tightening in his balls and he panics. He can't get control of his body, not with the drug still in his system.

His hand quickly comes down covering yours, stopping the gentle caress to his knee. His intense brown eyes look darker when they stare into yours. His lips slightly part and his breath starts coming out in uneven quiet bursts. The warmth of his hand seems to grow hotter, becoming slightly sweaty against yours and your heart starts pounding in your chest. You feel the subtle shift in his body beneath your touch and his legs tense up as he lets out a soft, involuntary grunt. Jisung's gaze burns into yours with an undeniable intensity that makes air feel thick and your cunt slick.

Is he about to?

You glance down at his shorts and his cock pulsates underneath. You stop breathing when realization hits you. He’s going to cum, right here, right now, all while holding your hand and looking at you. He's leaking so much precum it's noticeable even in the black fabric. A wicked scene flashes through your mind, of you sinking to your knees to taste him, taking his fully clothed cock into your mouth.

"Ah, shit! Mm!" Jisung's moans slip out and his breathing escalates as he starts to tremble all over. "Y/n," he pants out. Your name rolling off his tongue, making your whole body flush as his orgasm quickly builds, like you're the cause of it. "I... oh, shit. I'm... sorry, fuck. I can't... Help it. I'm cumming. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck!”

His grip on your hand tightens and he takes a deep breath before letting out a long low moan. You're left speechless, eyes fixed on Jisung's face as he cums in his pants. His hips move instinctively upwards, as if he's fucking some unseen entity and you can't help but find it incredibly hot. It's possibly the sexiest thing you've ever witnessed and now you're more turned on than you were to before.

His orgasm hits him hard, and you can feel his muscles tighten when he lets go. Warmth spreads through your body and it's impossible not to miss the way his release seeps through his dark shorts. The fabric quickly becomes wetter as his seed flows out in thick, white strings. His cock, still concealed and hard beneath the dampness, slows its wild twitching and stills.

“God, I'm sorry y/n. I don't know what came over me. Your hand... It felt incredible and it just happened. It was like the pill ramped up the feeling.” He apologizes, letting go of your hand. His heavy breathing slows and cheeks flush with a mixture of arousal and shame.

“It's ok Ji, I understand. You don't have to apologize. I wasn't thinking. I'll uh, get you a change of shorts.” You start to get up and head towards his dresser but he catches your wrist. He looks up at you with those brown sugar boba eyes of his making you shift.

“Tell me what you're thinking, y/n. Please? I'm going crazy thinking I'm weirding you out. Be honest with me please, lovely. Please?” He pleads with you.

You sigh and sit back down beside him and almost moan when the seam of your leggings rub against you. Seeing Jisung cum right in front of you, has your body feeling ultra sensitive. You're so on edge as if you've taken an enhancement pill yourself.

"I'm not weirded out, trust me," You confess, your voice low and filled with something more that you try to hide from him and yourself.

"Then how do you feel? You've gone quiet on me." Jisung probes, daring you to reveal your feelings.

“I feel fine Ji.” You say and look at his closet door. It's wide open and his clothes are all over the place inside like a tornado went through it.

“Bullshit y/n. I can tell when you're lying. You never look at me when you lie.”

Sighing you look him in the eyes and your mouth suddenly goes dry. He's not going to let this go until you fess up to him. He'll drill you with questions until you crack and that will probably make things more awkward than it already is. You don't really have a choice but to be transparent with him like you normally are.

“I'm,” You start, only for your words to trail off into a mumble.

“What was it you said earlier y/n? I'm not fluent in mumble?" He smirks, feeling so damn proud of himself and you roll your eyes.

“Ugh, fine. Fine, okay. I'm… horny. There, satisfied?” You admit red in the face. You look away fiddling with the sleeve of Jisung's hoodie.

"What else?" His voice, steady and resolute.

Your head spins back to him, caught off guard. "What else?" you echo loudly in shock. "Isn't all that enough?" He shakes his head, a smirk playing on his lips, as if he knows something you don't.

"Nah, not when I can feel you holding back," Jisung teases, leaning closer. "We're always so open with each other, but right now, there's something you're not saying."

“I…” You let out a defeated and frustrated sigh. “You turned me on.” You whisper. “The sight of you cumming. The look on your face, that fucking moan, Jisung. The way your cock bobbed from inside your shorts when you… damn it. It fucking made me wet. I've been wet since I walked in here!” You're practically yelling now, breathing heavily after releasing all your pent up feelings and he just smiles and chuckles.

“That wasn't so hard was it?

“Yes,” You say with a huff. “Yes, that actually was pretty damn hard.” You go to cover your face but he stops you.

“Don't be embarrassed, sweetie. I think that's a normal reaction. Sorta like watching porn.” He replies, chuckling.

“I suppose… but it doesn't really help your situation though.” You say feeling mortified.

The room goes quiet for a minute, the pair of you at a loss for words until Jisung breaks the silence.

“Maybe it can?”

You give him a look, raising an eyebrow in his direction. His cheeks flush and he raises his hands in a surrender gesture, palms facing outward, “Hear me out. It doesn't have to be weird. We'd just be helping each other out. You wouldn't be horny anymore and I wouldn't be hard and in pain. You're my only hope.”

“Are you suggesting that you and I… fuck?” You ask gesturing between you both. He groans in half pain, half pleasure at your words and your face heats again matching the blush on his cheeks.

“Please? Please let me fuck you y/n. Shit I know we're friends, it won't mean anything. You'd be literally saving my life. It's torture being like this. Every twitch, every movement I make… it fucking hurts like hell.” He begs, sounding desperate.

Jisung's question hangs in the air and you find yourself unable to respond. Silence ticks on for only a few seconds but to Jisung it feels like an hour. He runs his hands through his hair in frustration and huffs.

"Fine, then," he grumbles, breaking the silence again. "Can you at least help me get into your car so we can go to the hospital then?" His voice is rough, but there's an underlying vulnerability to it.

Still you stay quiet, his pleas echoing loudly in your mind. He's begging for your help and you can't speak. You're torn between wanting to be there for him and the fear of the aftermath. It's never a good idea to sleep with a friend. God, how many times have there been movies portraying that, only for it to go wrong? Too many, that's the answer. You're already feeling things that you wish you weren't. This could ruin your friendship with Jisung. This isn't just a peck on the lips. You'll be far closer and far more intimate than you two have ever been. So your hesitation is valid but Jisung is losing his mind and panicking more than you are right now.

“What the fuck y/n? Are you really ignoring me right now? Look, I'm sorry I asked. Just forget it and hel-”

"Promise me," You cut him off, "Promise me that we'll pretend like it never happened."

"Absolutely, yes. I promise!" he agrees eagerly, his face lighting up as he reaches for the drawer in his bedside dresser.

Curious, you watch as he rummages through the drawer's content. "What are you up to now?" you ask, sounding amused despite the fact that the little voice in your head is screaming at you.

"Looking for a condom," he replies, a mischievous glint in his eyes when he looks over at you.

You chuckle, shaking your head. "Dude, even if you find one, it's probably expired or dried up. When was the last time you got some ass?"

"Oh yeah right, good point—wait! It hasn't been that long!" He whines.

Laughing, you playfully cover your mouth. "Uh huh, sure. Besides, you gave your last one to Chan a while ago, remember?"

“Shit, you're right. Now what?” He pouts looking disappointed.

“Just raw I guess. Don't really have a choice. We both know we're clean and I'm on the pill.” You shrug nonchalantly like the idea is whatever to you but your heart is beating a thousand beats per second and you're internally freaking out.

Jisung swallows hard, looking nervous in your direction. “You uh, you sure?”

“Yeah let's just do it before Bin and Chan get back. Shit would be really awkward if they caught us.” Your voice betrays your false confidence, shaking as nerves wrack your body.

“Yeah, good point” He replies with a nod, suddenly looking serious.

This is serious to him. This isn't exactly how he envisioned his weekend starting. Jisung's heart pounds hard, his palms sweating as he stares at you. Amidst the anxiety he's feeling about this, he's oddly happy. He feels lucky knowing you’re here willing to cross boundaries for him. Not everyone would do something like this for a friend, but you're different. You always have his back no matter what crazy mess Jisung finds himself in.

Despite the fucked-upness of it all, Jisung can't deny the excited flutter in his stomach. The thought of having sex with a friend is enough to give anyone major anxiety but he's surprised how well you both are dealing with it. Still, fear sits at the back of his mind. What if this changes everything? What if it ruins your friendship? This is a big deal. He's seen it play out in movies and dramas all the time and not once had it turned out well. He doesn't have a lot of options though. You're quite literally his only hope like he told you.

Jisung gets up carefully, giving you full access to his bed and watches you as you strip down to nothing. Embarrassment fills you as his mouth hangs open, in complete fascination and awe. He thinks you're unstoppable, the way you're confidently undressing like that. He doesn't know you want to crawl into a hole and disappear. His eyes find your breast and he mentally marvels over how hard your nipples are. He suddenly wants nothing more than to slip the peaks into his mouth and bite down on them until they're red and you're squirming under him. Your cunt calls to him like a siren, just as pretty and just as wet. His fingers itch to trace the contours of your body, to feel your skin beneath his touch. Every inch of you seems to call out to him.

Jisung shifts uncomfortably, clearing his throat as he glances towards the door. "Um, so about the lights... Do you have a preference?”

"You decide, Ji.” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper, leaning back into his sheets on your forearms.

With a nod, he walks over to the door and locks it before reaching to switch off the light, enveloping the room in darkness. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. The sun had long since disappeared, hours slipping away unnoticed in trying to find a way to help your friend. A second later, the white walls covered in music memorabilia and anime posters, glow crimson from the light of the LED Akatsuki cloud lamp you gifted him for Christmas.

“There we go.” He says lightly, his voice barely audible over the sound of your heart.

Jisung's trying his best to put you at ease, and you're grateful for it, even if it's not working. You're lying there, heart pounding like a drum, with the soft red glow of his bedroom casting shadows all around. Your breath hitches, nerves tingling as you steal a glance at him by the bedside. Your fingers toy with the sheets' edge and butterflies dance wildly in your stomach. This is risky, but you're only doing it to help him out, right? Nothing more. Yet, there's something brewing beneath the surface, something you're both feeling but haven't quite put into words or even thoughts. Not right now at least.

Jisung casually strips off his tank and tosses it onto his computer chair, standing over you. Even though you've seen him shirtless a million times, it feels different this time. Probably because the setting is more intimate. You can't help but admire the way his muscles are defined, how they seem to mold perfectly to his body. Every contour, every line, down to his slender waist, captivates you. Then, as he lowers his shorts, you find yourself holding your breath, unable to look away. He's got to be a good seven inches you think. Slightly curving upwards, angry and red with the veins ridiculously prominent. You don't even stop yourself from fantasizing about how he'd feel on your tongue. The temptation to reach out and touch him is almost overwhelming, but you hold back, afraid of what it might mean.

“Do you think you can take all of me y/n?” He asks curiously and you look up at him.

His features soften in the dim light. He looks so vulnerable, so unlike the confident guy you're used to seeing. It tugs at your heart, stirring up a mix of emotions you can't quite begin to untangle.

His question, It's not a cocky one. In fact he sounds a little bit self conscious, worried even. Like he's afraid of hurting you or causing you discomfort. As much as you try to not think of him as your best friend right now as a means of psyching yourself out, you can't. He's your sweet Hannie, he's the talented genius J.One, a rap name he created when he was 16. He's your Sungie, who sat with you when you were the new kid in middle school. He needs you… needs your help. What kind of friend would turn away from a friend in need?

"I can handle it, don't worry about me, Ji. Let's just get you back to normal, okay?" You reach out your hand towards him with a subtle tremble exposing your nervousness.

"Yeah, okay, lovely. Just... let me know if you want to stop, okay? Promise?” Jisung exhales, his breath jittery with nerves waiting for your response.

“I promise. Now just relax and fuck me.” You whisper.

“Fuck. Yeah, okay.”

He moves closer to you, placing his hand in yours, and you feel a jolt of electricity shoot through you. The worries and hesitations you had vanish, replaced by a strong need to take care of this for him, to ease his pain. You feel the heat emanating from his body as he positions himself between your legs, gazing down at you with wide eyes.

He chews on his bottom lip and wraps his hand around the base of his cock with a hiss. He's still sensitive from the pain and his recent orgasm but he lines himself up with the entrance to your core, noticing how your arousal glistens in the red lights.

“Do you normally get this wet y/n?” He asks, sounding genuinely curious tilting his head to one side.

You hide your face with your hands, inhaling deeply. It's like you're a virgin all over again and this is your first time. You're nervous out of your mind and he's asking you a question like that. He's just curious, sure, but... he's Jisung... Your pulse pounds in your ears, and you slowly lower your hands. His eyes meet yours, and you can see everything you're feeling reflected in them.

You swallow hard, “Honestly, no. I've never been this wet, Jisung. Not even for myself.” You tell him, keeping eye contact so he knows you aren't lying.

“Fuck, that's hot.” He whispers. His cock twitches and rubs along your folds. “Ah, shit.” He winces and moans at the contact, feeling his cock stiffen even more beyond his belief.

Your body jerks at the unexpected touch, causing you to inhale sharply. His fingers lightly graze the curve of your waist, as if he's afraid you might vanish at any moment. His eyes, intense and penetrating, hold yours captive and heat pools low in your belly. Jisung's touch sends a shiver all over your body when his fingertips slowly begin tracing delicate patterns on your skin. Suddenly it's hard to deny just how bad you want him.

“Han Jisung if you don't stop stalling and just fuck me, I'm getting dressed and calling Chan.” Your breath comes out in short, shallow gasps. That brush against you was too much and not enough. You want him. God, you want him so bad it's almost painful.

“Okay, okay sorry. I'm just nervous. Fuck, I feel like a virgin all over again.” He says voicing your earlier thoughts out loud, making you both laugh loudly.

It feels almost normal. Like you're not about to let sleep with your long time friend. Like he's just above you now because you were wrestling for the remote. But after the laughter subsides, Jisung gathers up his courage and pushes the tip of his cock inside you without any restrictions. You're so wet that he slides right in. You both let out a moan, the sound echoing off the walls of his room, enveloping you in an intimate bubble. In the dim light, the boundary between friendship and something more blurs, and you find yourself swept away by the growing need. Jisung can feel his heart beating harder in his chest as he loses himself to the sweet feeling of you around the tip of him. A growing need intensifies within him with every passing second. He's got just the head in and he wants to slam into and cum right now.

"More. Keep going," you whisper, your voice quiet and dripping with lust. He bites down hard and complies slightly hesitating. Slowly he pushes further inside of you.

Your fingers tremble as they brush against his arms as he steadily inch by inch presses forward getting deeper, drawing moans out of you that could be heard from Pluto. It takes all of Jisung's focus to slide his entire length into you. He didn't want to cum just from sticking the tip in. But with each thrust into your eager pussy, brings him closer to bursting inside you.

"Fuck.” He breathes out as he fully sinks into you, his hand laying over your stomach gently. With a soft sigh, he leans in, resting his other hand beside your head. You feel incredible and he's reminded of the only moment he fantasized about you. A distant memory flooding back, something he tried to push away ages ago.

You tagged along with him, Chan, and Binnie for a vacation to the beach one scorching summer. He couldn't help but notice the way you looked in that red bikini with the guitar pick pattern. The way it barely covered your tits and ass. The sight made him feel insane. He was thinking things about you that he hadn't ever before. He used the fact that he couldn't swim just to sit in the sand, secretly enjoying the sight of you splashing around in the water. Every splash, every droplet clinging to your skin, it was like a fantasy playing out before his eyes. He imagined plowing into you from behind in the shower, your breast pressed against the shower tiles as you took all of him. Every detail was vivid and intense in his mind. That night, while you peacefully slept beside him in the hotel room you shared, he couldn't shake the images from his mind. Unable to sleep due to the ache in his cock, he pumped himself into his fist while thoughts of you consumed his mind. Guilt filled him but he pushed it aside, chalking it up to normal hormonal desires. It had been years since he even had those thoughts, until now.

Now he's buried deep inside you, all because of a dumb decision to try those enhancement pills. All because he wanted a mind-blowing, toe curling, orgasm. But deep down, he's kinda grateful for messing up. With you beneath him, he can fuck you instead of his hand. It's been too long since he's fucked anyone. He wants to savor this moment, take his time feeling your walls flutter around him since this won't happen again. As the urge to cum fades, he eases out of you, leaving just the head of his cock inside and begins moving again, slowly, teasingly, watching your reaction with his mouth slightly agape. Slowly, he rocks in and out, feeling your tightness gripping him in a way he's never experienced before. It’s better than anything he's felt with his exes. He's in awe of how amazing you make him feel. With a forceful thrust, he drives himself deeper into you, pausing when you cry out in pleasure.

"Damn it, y/n, you feel amazing. Fuck, so good.” he murmured, his voice a low, husky whisper. “Can I... Can I go faster? Please, tell me I can fuck you faster, baby. Let me make you feel even better." He begs, grunting softly and shifting his hips in a slow, teasing rhythm, forcing a needy whimper from you.

You bite your lip, a rush of pleasure flooding your body as you nod in response, too overwhelmed to speak. Your breath hitches, coming in rapid gasps, and your legs tremble around him.

“Thank you, fuck.” He withdraws with a sharp pull, then eases back in hard, making you cry out. “Stop me if I'm too rough, baby. You gotta tell me sweetie. Can you do that?”

You nod, but that's not quite what he wants. Jisung wants to hear you, no, needs to hear you. His hand moves, brushing against your skin until he finds your nipple, teasingly taking it between his fingers. Your breath catches as he pinches it gently and rolls it slowly between his thumb and index finger. He feels your body react, your walls tightening around him when you whimper softly.

"Oh!" You gasp, unable to control that blissful feeling of pleasure that runs through you. He does it again, a little harder this time. The corner of his mouth lifts into a cocky grin when you arch your back.

“Yes Ji! Fuck, I'll tell you.” Your eyes close and you grip the blankets on the bed in tight hands.

“Thank you y/n. God you're the fucking, mm! You're the best. Knew only you could help me. I knew you'd take care of me.” Jisung whispers, gripping the sheets by your head tight, his fingers curling around the fabric and sliding himself back into you. The bed creaks beneath you, echoing his movements as he fucks you harder. “Knew you'd make me feel good,” He murmurs, his voice thick with sex. "Tell me, y/n, does that feel good? Does my y/n feel good because of me? Tell me baby.”

Does he always talk like this with everyone he's been with before? You wonder and you realize he's way more experienced than you imagined. The thought makes you jealous but the feeling doesn't last. Each push of his cock inside of you pushes that green eyed demon out of your mind.

His voice, smooth like honey, drips with sweetness, coating you with each word he utters. The way he speaks to you only makes you wetter and you're craving him more. He's not holding back anymore, lost in the moment where all that matters is pleasure. Yours, his… you both need more. He's not waiting for a response; he knows you're speechless, your words stuck in your throat, your silence speaking volumes. With one hand supporting himself, he cups your breast, teasing and massaging the flesh, making you squirm under him before taking your nipple into his mouth. A low, guttural moan escapes him, reverberating through you body. You moan passionately, feeling the heat of his tongue against your skin. When he gently bites the hard peaks of your nipple your body arches into him and your left hand cradles his head.

Jisung inhales deeply, and your scent envelops him, drawing him in with its intoxicating allure. "Damn, you smell so good," Jisung murmurs, a soft smile playing on his lips and his heart literally skips a beat in his chest.

He swore nothing would change, but his heart rebels against that weak promise. Every day, he'll crave you more. Every glance, every touch will only intensify the want for you. The need to have you will only grow stronger. Your hands are all over him now, leaving invisible imprints that seem to penetrate straight to his heart. He finds himself addicted to your nails grazing his skin, the way your fingers weave through his hair, pulling him in closer to you with each tug.

Feeling his body pressing against yours, every movement sends waves of pleasure through you. Your hips respond to him, moving in sync and the sensation of his cock against your sweet spot makes you gasp softly. With each grind, the warmth grows blazing inside you. Jisung pauses, his lips leaving your nipple, and gazes down at you, his tousled hair framing his face in a way that makes him look irresistible in this moment. There's a silent shift between you that makes it harder to breathe.

"Close, aren't you, y/n?" he pants, a teasing grin playing on his lips. Something inside you explodes and a surge of electricity courses through you. It's not just the impending climax that has your insides uncoiling; but from that look he gives you. It's overwhelming in the best way possible. You feel like you're free falling through the clouds.

"Almost, Ji. So close," You breathe out softly.

"Yeah, baby, me too," He murmurs, his words laced with urgency. “I need you to come first. I'm gonna pull out." You shake your head and cling to him tighter, not wanting him to stop.

"Cum inside me, Sungie. Just keep going. Harder, Ji. Right there. Fuck!" Your voice grows louder with each word.

"Are you sure, y/n?" he asks, and when you nod, he grins at you. "Gonna give you all of me, baby. Fill you up real good. Gonna make a mess." He trails off with a soft curse. "Fuck, you're so beautiful," he adds, his voice becoming more raw, his desire evident in every breath. "You feel so good, y/n. So fucking good."

Jisung's hips buck wildly, thrusting faster and you scream his name, pleading with him to not stop, to not hold back, to fill you up. He's trembling, his breath coming out in ragged grunts as he pounds his cock into you, driving deeper with every thrust. Your body tenses up, and you manage to gasp out that you're about to cum just before it hits you like a tidal wave. And when it hits, fuck, it's like fireworks go off behind your eyelids. The most explosive sensation you've ever experienced.

“Gah, y/n! keep cumming, just like that. Y/n, you're gonna make me cum. So tight. Yeah, keep squeezing me with your pussy. I'm gonna cum. Oh, fuck, oh fuck, I'm cumming baby." He moans, his voice strained with pleasure.

You feel it deep when Jisung cums. It jets out in spurts forcefully, filling you and the sensation rips another unexpected orgasm from you. His thrusts slows to a gentle pace, guiding you through the aftershocks of your orgasm until your muscles relax around him. With a shudder, he finally stills, collapsing onto you panting, his weight supported by his forearms. Cupping your face in his hand, he looks down at you with a mix of satisfaction and longing in his eyes that makes you feel indescribable.

Your soft moans and the way you're clinging on to him, gives him a different sort of pleasure. Just knowing he's the one making you feel good, is a heady feeling, one that makes him want to hold onto this moment longer. But it's done and over now and he feels disappointed that such an amazing feeling, like being nestled inside of you, won't happen again.

Jisung's heart is pounding in his chest as he moves his face closer to you. His impulses taking over, "Can I kiss you?" he breathes out, voice shaky looking down at you.

You give a hesitant nod, feeling suddenly shy despite what just happened between you two, and he leans in to press his lips against yours. It's gentle, soft, sweeter than you expected. He doesn't use his tongue, unsure if you'd even want him to but he couldn't resist the urge to kiss you. The way you looked up at him, so pretty with those heavy lids and his cum dripping out of you… he just had to taste your lips, just once.

When he goes to pull away, you grab onto him, pulling him back and deepening the kiss. Your lips part, inviting him to explore you with his tongue, which he eagerly does. Your muscles tighten, and you realize his cock, which had been softening earlier, is now growing harder inside you. You gasp, intending to let him know it worked but before you can, he starts moving again and your gasp turns into moaning. There's no need for you two to keep having sex now that his erection can go away but you don't stop him. This time it's not just about relieving his pain or a means to an end, it's about something more. You both feel it, the change that he promised wouldn't happen, only you don't seem to care. No, you encourage Jisung to keep moving, to go deeper. You part your legs for him even more, letting him have all of you and surrender to the feelings pulsing through your body. It's all so new, these intense emotions you've developed for him.

Jisung's movements are slow and deliberate, each thrust unhurried. His cock slips out leisurely only to ease back in, a rhythm that makes you ache for more. More speed, more friction, more everything. You want to beg him to move faster, but the intensity of his stare leaves you feeling tongue-tied. In this moment, you're the epitome of beauty to him. Your unfocused gaze, your neediness, it's all so intoxicating, urging Jisung to continue his languid movements. He watches as your eyes struggle to focus, blinking several times before locking onto him once more and he loves it. It's as if each blink only deepens the desire he has for you.

He’s amazed that you're letting him continue to fuck you, even though there's no real reason to keep going. But damn, your body has him hooked already. You're spoiling him for any other girl he might end up with, unless... No, he won't let himself go there. He can't think of you as his, not after the promise he made. Still, he craves more of you in every possible way. Jisung's body trembles as he enters you, feeling your muscles tighten around him, and it brings a grin to his face knowing he can coax another orgasm out of you. He wonders how many can say they were able to make you cum multiple times. Did they take care of you like him? He thinks cockily. With a grunt that mingles with your soft moans, he thrusts harder, pushing deeper into you, feeling the tightness around his cock. It's a rhythm of in and out, urging his cock deeper, with nowhere to go.

Did any of your past hookups take their time like this? Fucking you nice and slow, or were they all just in it for a quick nut? Not Jisung, though. He could never, would never just fuck you for his own satisfaction. Your pleasure matters to him. It's what does it for him. He gets off on seeing you lose control because of him, on making you feel good. He doesn't even need to be buried deep inside your cunt to cum. He'd cum in his pants again fingering you or while you rode his face. Just the thought of you cumming on his face is enough to make him explode right now. The sounds you make, your touch, they're his undoing. That's why he came so hard earlier when all you did was caress his knee. He knows that now.

He's finding it impossible to hold back anymore, despite wanting you to cum first. He can't though, not when you gently place your hand on his cheek. That simple touch pushes him over the edge, and he pours himself into you with a raw moan, unable to control himself any longer. His legs shake, his toes curl, and he experiences an intense orgasm, far beyond what he had hoped the pill would give him. But it's not the pill—it's you. He knows it's you.

Watching Jisung cum inside you for the second time, you feel yourself reaching your own orgasm. With soft gasps, your cunt shudders around him. The look on Jisung's face when he cums is easily becoming addicting to you now. You could probably cum just by that look alone. It's like he's lost in the moment, completely taken over by pleasure. His face scrunches up, brows knitting together, round cheeks puffing out with each deep exhale.

You both lie there catching your breaths, quiet and completely still. His cock's still buried inside you, keeping you close. Your eyes lock, taking in every little detail of each other's faces while you both catch your breath. He could stay like this forever, your pussy snug around his cock, and he would've. Only if the sudden sound of the front door swinging open and Changbin shouting about pizza didn't burst that private bubble. It startles you both. So much so that Jisung jerks out of you with a loud pop and scrambling to his feet, making you squeal in surprise.

"Shit, do you think they heard that, Ji?" you whisper hastily pulling his sheets over your body. He shoots you a glance from across the room, a grin spreading across his face. He loves that post sex afterglow radiating from you. You've never looked hotter than you do right now, all sprawled out and naked in his bed.

“Nah, I think we're okay for now. They might just think we're taking a nap like we usually do after binge watching something.” He tells you. “We should probably get dressed in case though.” You nod and when you go to get out of the bed, he stops you. “Wait, lay back. It's my mess, let me clean it up. It's the least I can do for you.”

"Alright..." you murmur, settling back onto the bed with the blanket draped over your chest, your legs parting invitingly for Jisung. Your eyes drift to the ceiling, as you await his touch, but he hesitates. "Ji, what's—"

Your words catch in your throat as you feel the brush of his hair against your thighs and his mouth on you. "Oh, God, Ji. Fuck, that's not what I had in mind," You gasp out just as he flicks his tongue over your clit.

He glances up at you, a mischievous grin playing on his lips, his lips glistening with a mixture of your shared juices. "Do you want me to stop, baby? I've got the towel right here," he offers, his tone teasing.

Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him, pleasure pooling low in your belly. "No, don't stop," you urge softly, your voice laced with need. "Keep going. Please.”

You collapse onto the bed, feeling his head sink between your thighs. His lips and teeth graze your inner thigh, and you bite the sheets that are tightly balled up in your hands, trying to stifle any noises that might alert Chan and Changbin. When Jisung plunges his hot tongue inside of you, eating his cum and yours from your cunt like it's a five star gourmet meal, you almost let out the most pornographic sounding moan from the twirling motion of his tongue. You grab a pillow with quick hands covering your mouth so that it muffles your moans and cries.

He makes quick work in giving you another orgasm with that wicked tongue of his. You would've gladly returned the favor too if he didn't already cum in the towel that was supposed to be used for you. His mouth stayed locked on your clit while he moaned and pumped his cock into the towel. The vibration of his lips making you forget all about that thing you keep stashed in your bedside drawer at home. Yeah, Jisung eating your pussy like he was starving definitely didn't need to happen either but you're not complaining.

After getting dressed and making sure Chan and Changbin wouldn't notice anything odd, you and Jisung joined the duo and settled in for pizza, beer, and a movie. The TV casts a soft glow as some suspenseful action movie plays, but your mind is elsewhere, lost in a different kind of fantasy world. It's like your minds are synced, both drifting away from the movie. You and Jisung steal glances at each other in the dark living room, only to quickly look away.

Countless times he's caught you looking back in the direction of his room with a blush on your cheeks. He's hard just knowing that you're thinking about what happened and he wonders if you can still feel him like he can feel you. He just wants to say fuck the movie, to grab you by your wrist and drag you back to his room and fuck you again. He was actually worried that you would go through with the promise of pretending like sleeping together didn't happen but sometimes, in this case anyway, promises can be broken.

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crystalflygeo · 3 days

Text

Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Omega!Dragoness!Reader

cw/tags: Your usual mentions of slavery and sexual themes, A/B/O dynamics and heat mentions. Also allusions to depression and mentions of death.

notes: Aahahaha this took forever..... allow me top explain: first of all my new job is killing me and second of all I'm going through a hard period where I don't really like anything I write anymore. This work in particularly I kept struggling with the pacing, the dialogues, the way I wanted feelings to come across or scenes to flow it's just hhhnnnggg. I told a couple of friends that I set the bar so high with the first part I feel like nothing else I write will be that good. Then the second part was "ok" but cut off in a cliffhanger and has been there for SO LONG that now I feel this will be underwhelming after all the buildup//hit

I hope it's not. I hope it's good.

Anyway this part is in Zhongli's pov and contains flashbacks which will be fully in italics! Enjoy! and thanks for caring so much about this story ;w; ILU all <3

<- Part 2.

Your instincts mess up with your head.

Your crying and anxiety have simmered to a cold numbness.

Hours blur together, time loses meaning.

The doctor comes by sometimes. The maids bring you food. But everything feels… off, distant.

This doesn’t feel… like your usual heats.

You curl up and sob, a choked soft noise.

You don’t feel hot, but rather cold. Limbs weak. Dizzy.

Your heart aches.

You’re so tired.

And so sleepy…

Zhongli puts down the seal stamp and deflates back into his chair with a sigh, he must have read the same line at least five times already. He cannot concentrate at all. It’s not even been three days and each hour, each minute, feels eternal.

He’s already gotten so used to your presence, so smitten with you and your little quirks, your rare smiles, the way your ears and tail flicker, your pretty eyes…

And he remembers those same eyes begging for him, teary. Your pitiful cry. Your distressed scent.

Guilt eats at him. As well as something else…

He’s been restless, barely slept. Your scent is a siren’s song on the blankets, tart and fresh and tantalizing, but you are not with him. Anxious energy flows in his veins. This emotion, this thing that is like regret and sorrow and fear all tangled together, cleaves him through. His instincts are screaming at him, rattling inside a cage of his own making. His mate, his precious Omega is in heat, you’re scared and lonely and need him. Zhongli has to suppress a growl and feel the shudder of his scales at the fact that he’s not with you. In your nest. Taking care of you.

It’s agonizing.

"How is she?"

The same question, over and over, at any chance he gets.

"She refuses to eat, your majesty." Xiao tells him, and he can feel the concern in the younger Alpha’s voice. “According to the maids she only took a few bites of the ajilenak nuts, the rest of the food was left untouched.”

…

"She's um... she's always sleeping when I go check up on her." Ganyu explains a little crestfallen. She too is worried. “A-at least I think she’s in no pain… she was clinging to one of your hanfus.”

…

"You should go see her, Zhongli." Ping states, a rare serious expression on her usual gentle factions. “Baizhu says she’s going through the worst case of separation sickness he’s ever seen. Is that really what you want your poor Yin to go through?”

He lets out a frustrated rumble.

“Of course not. But it’s for the best, I don’t want to… take advantage of her, or force her to anything.” Zhongli frowns, trying to focus on the papers in front of him again, in an attempt to ignore her piercing gaze.

“Is it really any of that if she wants her mate?” Ping retorts. “She was begging you.”

I know.

He growls this time, and shakes his head at his memory of you. It haunts him.

“She doesn’t know what she wants.”

“So, you’re deciding for her then? Is that it? Honestly, are you listening to yourse-”

“She’s been conditioned to serve.” He cuts her off, voice grave and somber. “Trained to be submissive and please. She likes me simply because I’m kind to her, she wants me because she thinks it’s her obligation as my mate. I feel the pull of the bond too, the need, the yearning. But I also know she is afraid of Alphas and she thinks… she thinks she has to obey me. That she owes me something or that own her.” His eyes narrow. “I didn’t need to bond her. I shouldn’t have bonded her. I just… wanted her to be free and instead I chained her to me. And now she’s in heat…”

And it drives him insane.

“Listen to me, we’ve both spent time with her, enough to know she’s opening up and learning to voice her feelings…” Ping reasons gently. “It’s a slow process, don’t hurt her this way. At the very least… go see her.”

“I lost control once with just one kiss from her. I will not do it again. I will not harm her any further.”

The elderly woman keeps silent for a few moments. Zhongli sighs and rests his forehead in his palm in defeat.

And then Ganyu approaches, a little tense, a stack of papers in her hands.

“Your majesty, the Qixing are starting to arrive, council meeting will begin soon.”

“Very well. Thank you Ganyu.” He stands up and nods at her, then turns to Ping and his demeanor softens a little. “You know I just want to correct my mistakes, and give her the life she deserves. At least a fraction of it, of happiness.”

It wasn’t supposed to go this way… Zhongli sighed as he walked up to the room where the “reunion” with the sumerian would take place. It was long overdue seeing as he had spent the night by your side, refusing to leave after you had cried and begged so desperately…

After he had bonded you.

He had initially taken the eremite’s claims with a grain of salt, but naturally he had to make sure. The last dragonblood had supposedly died decades ago, so how…?

And yet when he saw you for the first time in that room, he knew.

You were real, you were beautiful. Suddenly he felt a million things at once: He wanted to get to know you, stay close to you, protect you. Old draconic instinct vibrating excitedly on his soul. You smelled vaguely familiar, your tail was gorgeous, your ears adorable. What if you didn’t like him though? What if he harmed you? Scared you? Suddenly he was nervous, nervous of ruining this, nervous in a way he hadn’t been in so long, like when he’d been young and Liyue had been at war and he had lost everything to fire and smoke and dust and he had to make difficult decisions and-

He had always calculated his moves. No room for risks. Too much at stake.

But you, you disarmed him. Completely.

You, with your polite gentleness despite the obvious cracks beneath the surface.

You, with your beautiful looks and enormous potential, even if you didn’t see it yourself.

You, with that look of yearning and hope, with your soft lips and sweet moans, with your warm body fitting perfectly against his.

For once, he allowed himself to make a decision with his heart, not logic, not politics. Just instincts.

And he claimed you…

…

He enters the room. A couple Millelith soldiers stationed by the door, Xiao standing by his side loyally as he sits at his place of honor as the emperor. Your ‘master’, an Alpha eremite named Zaheer, kneels respectfully a little below.

“I see you liked her, your majesty” He offers a sly smirk. “Did she satisfy you properly? She’s been trained on her gag reflexes to-”

Zhongli -Morax- resists the urge to growl. “We are not here to discuss that.”

“Ah, of course, business!”

Business.

“Since she’s such an exotic and well-trained slave I suppose we could agree on…”

“Do you think of me an idiot, Zaheer?” Morax’s eyes narrow.

“P-Pardon me?”

“She is a pureblood xiānshòu. I want to know exactly how she ended up being enslaved by you and your people.”

Cold and calculating golden eyes stare down at the eremite.

“W-What… she’s desert-born!” Zaheer retorts back angrily “She was born at a heat house. Maybe she has traits from your people because one of them decided to get a cheap fuck while traveling.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Morax asks unfazed “Liyue has records of the last of her kind disappearing and presumably being murdered when a village near Sumeru borders was razed to the ground. Do you have a disclosure?”

Zaheer stands up and growls, clearly an Alpha not used to having to bow his head and accept things not going his way.

Clearly an Alpha used to intimidating and attacking others.

Xiao wields his spear and changes his stance to an offensive one. The Millelith guards also tense.

Zaheer gets even more irritated, feeling like a caged animal. Backed into a corner. “Emperor or not” He starts through gritted teeth. “If you’re not going to pay me then I’ll take my merchandise back and do business elsewhere where I’m not being accused of ridiculous claims.”

“You’re right that I won’t be doing any business with you, but we’ll see how ridiculous those claims truly are. Zaheer, by my word as the emperor you will now remain detained in Liyue.” Morax sentences.

The eremite’s red eyes widen in shock and rage and the desert-dweller shoots up to attack Morax, getting easily overpowered and neutralized by Xiao’s quick moves. In seconds his weapon drops to the floor as the Yaksha general points his spear at the unconscious man. The Millelith quickly retrieve him and the blade before Morax simply nods at them.

Months. It had been months since then and he had to begrudgingly release the man as no accusation connected him to anything. They were essentially out of leads. There did appear to be documentation of your birth at a desert village but Zhongli would be hard pressed to believe the half-assed story you’ve been told…

And since you are pureblood, then both of your parents, and most importantly your dam, was also a dragonblood. That’s at the very least one Liyue citizen enslaved in a foreign nation.

He would get to the bottom of this.

For now, however, he had to cast those worries aside.

The Seven members of the council sit around the large table, the Liyue Qixing, leaders of all the commerce and trade sectors of the nation.

Zhongli takes his place at the head of the table. Ganyu does so as well by the sideline.

“Very well, what’s our first topic today?”

“Did Master just… leave?”

There was silence at the table, Zhongli and Ping sit frozen and you get just a bit nervous.

It’d been a few days since you started your new life, and though Zhongli was sure you were warming up to it he knew you still had a long way to go. It was probably still a little surreal for you… such a big change from everything you knew.

The tension on his shoulders quickly drops again. He continues eating. “Yes.” He says simply. Ping follows his lead, saying nothing.

The faster you forget about that eremite, the better.

“Hm…” You continue eating as well. Your expression is a little conflicted…

You inhale.

“Was he… happy… that I finally found a mate?”

Zhongli turns to you sharply and tenses again like a cat bristling. He holds back his tongue so as to not say something he’d regret. Why do you still care about that despicable man’s opinion? Why do you still seek his approval? Did you really think he cared about you? Zhongli desperately wants to make you understand how that slave-owner only saw you as an object, how he fed you lies, how his mistreatment is inexcusable…

But he can only imagine how deep your scars run, and how that toxic mindset has settled and accompanied you for years. He cannot judge you for caring about someone who doesn’t deserve it.

“Why do you ask, dear?” Ping asks instead.

“I don’t know…” You mumble, poking at the congee with your spoon. “I always wanted to make him proud.”

Proud.

Him?

“I think what matters most is how you feel.” Zhongli says, his hand reaching out for yours invitingly and you place your fingers on his palm, getting a soft reassuring squeeze. “You don’t need to rely on how others view you or think about you.”

You seem thoughtful for a second, your ears flickering back insecure but then standing up alert again. “I am happy” You admit. “Very happy. I have the best mate in the world.” You smile brightly.

Zhongli’s heart does a flip.

“With the excessive rains in the northern villages, there have been many floods and a lot of crops have been severely damaged or lost. Our previous contingency plan is in action already and donations are being sent to help the affected families. However, we must prepare for a decline in the harvest of certain grains and vegetables this season, as well as an increase in prices for a few months due to the shift in demand and supply.” Keqing explains expertly, the young alpha’s expression is serious and solemn.

“It’s an opportunity to strengthen commerce with Mondstadt and Sumeru.” Ningguang chimes in, leaning back on her chair, arms crossed. “The value of jade and other crystals is on the rise as well.”

“Not to mention, we’ll be employing several architects from the Akademiya to help with the rebuilding.” Keqing adds, turning to Ganyu, who nods.

“Greater lord Rukkhadevata and lesser Lord Kusanali have agreed on a certain exchange program with Liyue. I started drafting up some proposals already if you’d like to see.” The blue-haired secretary passes along some documents.

Ningguang’s eyes skim along the page. “It’s almost like our new Sumeru-born empress was a sign.” She smirks. “By the way, where is she?” She turns to Zhongli, curious about her fellow Omega.

“She’s rather indisposed at the moment.” The emperor replies dryly, not wanting to delve much onto the touchy subject. “Ganyu this looks good, however we need to think about-”

There is a knock that quickly surprises everyone. Who could interrupt a council meeting and why?

Baizhu peeks in with Changsheng curled around his neck, a frown on his usually gentle features. “Your majesty, a word. It’s an emergency.”

All the members at the table stare silently as Zhongli stands and follows the doctor.

Ganyu has a bad feeling…

“We have no time, follow me.” The green-haired doctor walks briskly along the wooden corridors, he looks… frustrated, dejected.

“What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t want to panic. He never panics. But something inside him does. It’s obvious that this has to do with you.

“I apologize, your majesty. I thought it was just a case of separation sickness but… the empress is showing signs of widow’s wasting.”

Zhongli stops.

His heart skips a beat. His skin prickles with dread.

“She’s… dying?”

Baizhu shakes his head. “It hasn’t reached that point yet, but… she’s deteriorating.”

The guilt is back. The fear.

“Given what happened, I’m pretty certain the shock of your rejection was the trigger. Still, it is highly unusual for a Yin to suffer from widow’s wasting without their partner actually dying, even more so for it to settle so quickly. Her reaction is akin to someone who had never left their mate’s side for years.” Baizhu explains.

You trusted him.

And he turned his back on you.

What have I done?

“In any casssse, it’ssss not too late.” Changsheng’s little voice pipes in. Baizhu keeps leading the way and Zhongli follows, though he obviously knows the entire palace like the palm of his hand, at the moment his thoughts are scattered and far far away.

“She needs her mate’s reassurance. I have done what I can with medicine but this is a bonded pair matter.” Finally, he stops at a juncture and turns to Zhongli. “Please, your majesty, only you can save her. I will tell Ganyu, Xiao and Ping of the situation, and if you need anything, just ask.”

Zhongli nods, mute.

The snake narrows her eyes. “Don’t leave her sssside.”

“Changsheng.” Baizhu shushes.

She is right to chastise him. He deserves that and more.

“I won’t.” Zhongli nods and heads down the hall.

Widow’s wasting.

The words echo in his head. He’s seen the damage it can do. How a broken bond, the loss of the most important person, can destroy someone inside. Did you really care that much about him? Did he really hurt you that badly?

“Please…”

He didn’t mean to.

“I have the best mate in the world.”

He feels like a monster.

“I want to stay with you. Sleep together. Like mates.”

He needs to see you. He needs to make sure you’re ok…

He stands in front of the nest room. The same one where he first met you.

Opening the doors only slightly to slip inside, Zhongli's eyes widen and a hand flies to cover his nose and mouth when a strong smell shakes him to his very core.

The room he expected to be completely saturated with intense heat pheromones… instead bears the acrid scent of despair.

This isn’t the lustful call to breed and have children that made an omega vulnerable and pliant. No. It is a desperate cry from a heartbroken omega for their mate to come back, to stay with them, to love and protect them. It is grief.

You are suffering because of him.

To think all this time… he was afraid he'd make you uncomfortable. That he’d scare you, hurt you, ruin the bond you’ve carefully built. Instead, he is overcome by an all-consuming terror. Every part of him screaming at his mate's weak essence.

And there you are, his precious treasure, his sweet dragoness.

You lay curling in on yourself letting out small muffled sobs.

“Y/n…”

No reaction.

“Darling, my dear dragoness…” He rushes up to you immediately, grabs your hand and pets your hair. You look so weak, your skin is feverish, how has it only been three days? It feels like a lifetime…

You shift a little and your eyes blink open, staring at him dazed, red and puffy and your expression defeated. You let out a pitiful whine and more of that bitter sad scent is released.

“No my dear, don’t cry, I’m here. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Zhongli coos as he curls up to you, frantically starting to scent and nip at your neck and shoulders affectionately. His horns manifest and his tail follows through, lashing about a little restless. The bond… feels wrong, broken. He should be able to intimately feel you this close and yet…

He tries to reposition you a little so you can lie on top of him, rest on his chest. It’s concerning how easily he can do so, you’re like a ragdoll in his arms, unresponsive and unmoving. His hands cup your face, thumbs rubbing at the traces of tears in your cheeks. You let out a frustrated whimper. “Shhhh shh it’s okay. I’m so sorry.”

Even if he says it a million times, it won’t feel enough.

Zhongli nuzzles at your neck and proceeds to do something he hasn’t done since he was practically a teen. He purrs. It’s a little rusty, comes off more as a grumbling but it seems to work as he feels you relax just slightly in his arms.

“I’m right here” Zhongli’s deep voice assures you, tugging you closer, mouthing at the soft skin along your collarbone. “I’m not going anywhere and I’m all yours, I promise, I promise. I won’t leave you alone, not ever.” He soothes.

He lowers a bit of your clothes at the shoulder and grazes his fangs along your faded mark, you tense and let out a long shaky breath.

“Everything will be ok.” He kisses the spot. “I’m sorry.”

And then he sinks his fangs in to reestablish the claim.

You cry out in pain and squirm, clawing at his clothes, but he holds you, his hand rubbing circles at your back, his tail intertwining with yours.

...

.....

...

At first nothing changes, but after a few moments… a low strained purr bubbles up from within you again.

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guess-my-next-obsession · 3 days

Text

Guilty As Sin? — Chapter One

pairing: professor!javier peña x f!reader

rating: series is 18+ only, minors DNI, not a lot here beyond some world building, the party starts next chapter :)

word count: 3.6k

series masterlist

Though it was the first day of the fall semester and your first day as an official law student, you felt exactly the way you had the year before when you were a struggling undergrad. Same town, same friends, even the same apartment in the student housing complex right next to campus that you shared with three of your closest friends, Nina, Derrick, and Alondra, who just so happened to be law students as well.

It seemed every aspect of your life had remained stagnant for the last four years, except for one critical thing—you were now a single woman. Four years of the most confusing, toxic, passionate relationship of your life now dead and buried thanks to your ex-boyfriend’s inability to keep his dick in his pants. You’d have to see him too this semester, though you tried to keep the prospect of an awkward run-in out of your head as you got ready for the day to the sound of a busy apartment. Nina and Derrick had breakfast duty this morning, the two of them shuffling around the kitchen as loudly as they could, it seemed. Alondra, like you, was sitting across the hall in her bedroom blasting Kali Uchis out of her speaker, though after two years of living together the noise didn’t really affect you at all anymore.

“Food’s ready,” Derrick said, popping his head in the crack of your open door.

Standing at six-foot-two with brown skin, hazel eyes, plump lips, and the sharpest bone structure you’d ever seen, Derrick was beautiful. The two of you had done an awkward dance ever since you’d known him, with Derrick silently crushing and you silently rejecting him. You didn’t know what it was about him that didn’t appeal to you; he was kind, handsome, and funny, all the things a normal girl could want.

But you never really felt like a normal girl.

You liked the men that didn’t like you back, the men who desperately needed someone to fix them, always convinced that you had what it took to do just that. Of course, you knew better than that by now, but there was a part of you that worried you. A part you always had to keep an eye on, too afraid of your naive, trusting heart taking the reins.

“I’ll be out in a sec,” you said, coating your eyelashes in a decent amount of mascara. Derrick leaned against the doorframe, watching you with something too close to adoration for your comfort. You laughed it off, waving your hand at him. “Go away.”

“Am I making you nervous,” he teased. Truthfully, he was. Just not in the way he probably hoped.

“I’m trying not to stab myself in the eye,” you said instead.

“Mmhm,” he chuckled, patting the doorframe. “Hurry up, your plate’s at the table.”

“If you’d let me concentrate.”

Ten minutes later, you were sitting at the table with Derrick on your right—his plate conveniently set beside yours—and Nina and Alondra across from you.

“I’m swearing off of hookups this semester,” Alondra announced, earning skeptical glances from the three of you. “I am!”

“Until Sabina calls you up late at night claiming she’s lonely and sad,” Derrick teased. You kicked him under the table only to find out that Nina had done the exact same thing. “I’m just speaking the truth.”

“You’re a man, you don’t get to speak your truth here,” Nina said. “And as for you—“ She turned to Alondra beside her. “The minute you run into that bitch, you’re done for. Best to accept it now.”

“No, I’m done with her,” Alondra insisted, though you’d all seen this before. Every fall, without fail, Alondra and her toxic cheater of an ex-girlfriend, Sabina, get back together, and every summer they find a reason to break up, only to repeat the cycle the next year. “I might try dudes for a while.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you snorted, carrying your plate to the sink. “Since when are you into dudes?”

“Since Sabina ruined all women for me,” she sassed. “Besides, sexuality’s a spectrum.”

“What about you?” Nina asked, turning in her chair to watch you wash your dish. “Any plans this semester? Hopefully ones that don’t include a toxic relationship?”

“Certainly not,” you replied with a laugh. “I’m gonna be the most boring fucking person at this school this year. No shitty men, no partying, just school.”

“Twenty bucks I get her to black out this weekend,” Nina challenged, turning to Derrick and Alondra.

“I’ll take that bet,” Derrick said, shooting you a wink.

“Alright, while you guys are betting, I’m gonna head out to class. You know, like a serious law student,” you teased, drying your hands off before making your way to the front door. “I’ll see you guys in class.”

The first class of the day was Dr. Brown’s Contracts lecture. You’d had him during undergrad for your Criminal Psych class and specifically sought him out while registering because of his laid-back approach to teaching. Though he appeared to be yet another stuffy old man at face value, his personality was much more in line with that of The Dude from The Big Lebowski. He reeked of weed, loved to curse, and didn’t give a shit about all the formalities the rest of your professors insisted upon.

Dr. Brown’s class passed by with ease, his lecture on the contract breach between Apple and Samsung paired with a meme-filled PowerPoint amusing you enough that you forgot you’d been sitting there for two hours.

The next class of the day—Dr. Arman’s Legal Research and Writing course—was far less amusing, but at least Dr. Arman didn’t ask much from her students besides following along with slideshows and turning in the occasional paper. Still, the next hour and a half drudged on like feet on sand, Alondra nodding off beside you in the back of the lecture hall.

“Shit,” she whispered, snapping awake after a nudge from your elbow to her side. “Is it almost over?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled, backing up your bag. “I have to hustle to Criminal Law, you good?”

“Yeah, just gonna rest my eyes for a second,” she mumbled, already falling back to sleep. With a fond smile, you rolled your eyes at her and left the hall.

The last class of the day was Criminal Law I, taught by Dr. Peña, a professor you’d never had in any of your undergrad classes. It was always a toss up every time you entered a new lecture hall whether or not a professor would end up on your shit list, and a sinking suspicion told you Dr. Peña would not be as casual as Dr. Brown nor as lenient as Dr. Arman. No, there was always one overly demanding, arrogant old prick of a professor each semester without fail.

Though you’d arrived fifteen minutes before class, all the good seats were taken by the time you walked into the hall, leaving only a few seats at the very front. Sighing, you looked longingly at Nina as she sat in one of the back rows, surrounded by a flock of hopeful men desperate to make her laugh. She caught eyes with you and gasped when she realized where you were headed.

“No, girl, not the front,” she called, earning a dejected nod from you as you reached the mostly deserted front row.

As you unpacked your bag and notebook—you hated using your laptop in class—Derrick quickly slid into the seat beside you with a huff, as if he’d just finished a marathon.

“Had to climb over a row of people to get down here,” he said, smiling at you.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said, nudging his shoulder with yours.

“Wasn’t gonna let you slum it down here alone.”

“Thanks,” you chuckled. “You know anything about this guy?”

“Yeah, my brother had him when he went here a few years back,” he said, opening his laptop. “Apparently he’s a dick.”

“Of course he is,” you sighed.

“You have class after this?”

“Nope,” you shook your head. “You?”

“Nah, just the gym with Nina,” he said, stretching out his legs and relaxing into his chair. “You could come, if you wanted.”

“I hate the gym,” you said, scrunching up your nose. “Besides, I need to go get groceries and stuff. Maybe get a head start on Brown’s project.”

“Responsible,” he nodded in approval. “Boring but responsible.”

“All these boring years are gonna pay off when I graduate top of the class,” you quipped, earning a scoff.

“That’s what you said in undergrad and who ended up graduating at the top?” he asked with a smirk, sticking his chin up with pride.

“I was one percent away from kicking your ass,” you rolled your eyes and chuckled.

“Maybe you’ll find another shitty boyfriend to distract you—“

Though you would have liked to hit him for his comment, you were stopped dead in your tracks as the most handsome, brown haired, broad shouldered, puppy-eyed looking man walked out of his adjoining office and up to the desk at the front of the class. He carried an air of authority with his furrowed brows and disapproving frown as he waited for the class to quiet down.

“If you’re all finished,” he said, unpacking his book bag while scoping out the faces he’d be spending the semester looking at, starting with the back. You watched him with interest, hating that kick of adrenaline the moment his eyes met yours. He seemed to linger for a half a second longer than he had with everyone else before looking away, furthering your delusional thoughts. “Welcome to Criminal Law I. My name is Dr. Peña, you’ll refer to me as such. I except professionalism, conciseness, and competency from the lot of you. You’re graduates now. Time to act like it.”

“Jesus,” Derrick muttered beside you, shaking his head.

“There will be no whispering, no texting, and for God’s sake, no music in my class. You’re here to learn and I’m here to teach.”

You listened as a few students gathered their things and silently made their exit from the hall. Dr. Peña watched them with a smug look that did little to shoo away your interest. Fantasies of receiving that same look in a far more inappropriate context flooded your mind, visions of you on your knees in his office.

“Good, now let’s begin. We’ll be covering the penal code today, along with territorial jurisdiction. Can anyone give me a definition of the latter?”

Never one to volunteer an answer without being called on, you waited for someone else to take the fall. Dr. Peña seemed just as patient, his arms crossing over his chest in a way that pulled at the fabric covering his arms. You quickly turned your eyes down to your notebook when he caught you staring, busying yourself with jotting down the date.

“In the front,” he said, earning your attention. When you found him still watching you, you let out a small sigh. “Would you care to give us a definition, Miss…”

Giving him your last name, you searched your mind for the definition that you remembered learning at some point during your four years of undergrad.

“Territorial jurisdiction refers to a court’s power in a certain territory,” you said, swallowing down your nerves as you began to feel your ears heat.

“And in regards to Texas? Can you give me the section of the Penal Code that covers territorial jurisdiction?” he asked, his voice a deep, whiskey warm timbre that hit you like an aphrodisiac, your mind running rampant with all sorts of inappropriate scenarios of hearing that sinful voice up close and personal.

“I…don’t know,” you said, lowering your eyes down to your desk just to get a break from his steady eye contact.

“Section 1.04,” he said, a hint of arrogance in his tone. “Now that you have the section, would you mind reading the text for us?”

Taking a deep breath, you flipped to the section in your textbook, hoping that your nervous stutter didn’t make an appearance today.

“I can do it,” Derrick volunteered, mildly irking you. Did he think he was saving you? Or was this his attempt at competition?

Dr. Peña waited until he was finished to admonish his interruption.

“Thank you, Mr…,”

“Crawley,” he said, offering him a charming smile.

“Yes, thank you, Mr. Crawley, but in the future, I ask that you refrain from interjecting. I’m sure your friend was perfectly capable of reading aloud,” Dr. Peña said, causing Derrick to scoff under his breath. “Alright, I need a volunteer from the second row to read the next section.”

Derrick seemed to take it to heart, his ever-present smile long gone as he typed his notes on his laptop.

“Sorry,” you whispered, tapping his shoe with yours.

“S’whatever,” he shrugged, but you knew him well enough by now that it was far from whatever to him. Derrick was always the best in every class, always adored by professors. You weren’t sure he’d ever been scolded by a teacher in his life, let alone in front of the entire class. “He’s a prick.”

“He’s—“

“Are we interrupting?” Dr. Peña sighed, leveling a look at the two of you as if to say, really? You shrank in your seat, avoiding his stern eyes. “Anyways, you were saying, Miss Martinez?”

After a tense hour spent listening to Dr. Peña pick on the class, it was time to pack up. You could practically hear your bed calling as you packed your things into your bag, except…

“Would you mind staying behind for a moment,” Dr. Peña asked, calling your name. You gave Derrick a wide eyed look, earning a raise of his brow.

“Sure, um—“

“I’ll wait up for you,” Derrick offered, slinging his bag over his shoulders before filing out of the lecture hall with the rest of the class.

Once alone with Dr. Peña, you began to feel sick with anticipation, especially as he sat quiet at his desk shuffling through papers.

“I’d like to apologize for today. I’m afraid we may have gotten off on the wrong foot,” you said, carefully approaching his desk. “I assure you, this is nothing I take more seriously than this. I—“

“I asked you to stay behind because I’m in need of an assistant for my undergrad Intro to Forensics class and your name was given to me by the Dean,” he said, looking up at you with a mixture of exhaustion and boredom in his eyes.

“Wait—what?” you gave him a puzzled look.

“Your name is listed in the TA program, is it not?” he asked, leaning back in his chair. You tried not to ogle him, but the way his white button down stretched across his broad chest made it damn near impossible.

“It is, but—“

“You’re one of the only law students available who’s taken the class before,” he said, clicking his pen as he began to mark the syllabus sheets he’d passed out towards the end of class. “So, what do you say? Three labs a week. Paid, of course.”

“I’m not sure I can handle the extra load, honestly,” you said. Though you were sure the extra work would certainly up the pressure, it wasn’t the real reason you were so quick to decline. Truthfully, it was him. How were you supposed to be around him an extra three days a week when you were already worried about the three you’d be spending with him in this class? “But if you’re in need of a recommendation, Mr. Crawley took Intro to Forensics with me and—“

“Take a day, think about it. First lab is Wednesday,” he interjected, glancing up at you with those brown eyes that looked both innocent and dangerous at the same time, a confusing balance your overly romantic heart longed to study in depth. You chuckled, a sound of disbelief over his disregard for your rejection, as you watched him turn back to his work. “I’ll have the Dean send over a formal offer this afternoon.”

“What time are the labs?” you asked, slowly accepting your fate—or, more accurately, accepting his stubbornness on the matter.

“Eight to ten in the evening,” he replied, sounding as though he might yawn at the prospect. “Not ideal.”

“No,” you agreed, offering him a small smile. “I, uh, I’ll think about it.”

Not wanting to embarrass yourself—or endure more of this delusional torture—you made your exit as quickly and gracefully as you could manage, waiting until you were out in the main hall to freak out.

“What did his fine ass want?” Nina asked, approaching you with Derrick in tow. You snorted at her brashness and rolled your eyes.

“His fine ass wanted me to TA for his Intro to Forensics lab,” you replied, shaking your head as you looked through your tote for some gum, hoping to distract your rampant fantasies about said fine ass.

“What the fuck?” Derrick griped, shaking his head. “I’ve been begging the dean to get me a TA position this semester but he said all the positions had been filled.”

“I tried to recommend you,” you offered, giving him a sympathetic frown. “I don’t even know if I’ll take it—”

“Then let me,” he said, hope lighting up his eyes. Even though you still had yet to make up your mind on the matter, his assumption that you’d just give urubbed you the wrong way.

“I’m gonna think about it first,” you said, sharing a knowing look with Nina.

If there was one thing to fault Derrick for, it would be his tendency to step on people—even his closest friends—to secure an opportunity. Even when he didn’t need to, even when he’d already won over most professors on campus, even when he knew his female friends struggled to reach even half of the respect given to him strictly because he was a man.

“You coming with us to the gym?” Nina asked, changing the subject as she watched you bite back the urge to tell Derrick that maybe, just this once, it would be you stepping over him to secure a good opportunity.

“No thanks,” you chuckled.

“Lame,” she said, glancing over at Derrick who seemed to be lost in thought. “Well I’m gonna go change.”

“See you later on,” you said, watching as she made her way down the hall.

“So you think you might take the job?” Derrick asked, sticking his hands in his pocket.

“I might,” you admitted, shrugging your shoulders.

“Just…be careful,” he cautioned, causing your brows to furrow. “Male professors can be creepy as fuck.”

“Men in general can be, yeah,” you laughed. “But I’m sure I can take care of myself.”

He nodded, ticking his jaw.

“Well, I gotta go get groceries,” you lied, desperate to get back home, crawl into bed, and maybe do something about those fantasies from earlier. “I’ll see you back—“

“Come to dinner with me,” he blurted, biting his lip as he watched you go through a rollercoaster of emotions. Shock, amusement, confusion, before landing on something akin to empathy.

“What? Derrick—“

“Just one date,” he promised. “One date and if it doesn’t work out, you know…we can just stay friends.”

“I don’t know that it’s that simple,” you said, looking anywhere but at him.

Why was he so dead set on going down this road; of making this mistake that you knew would end terribly?

“Just a date,” he coaxed. “And I promise no weirdness afterwards if it doesn’t work out.”

“You can’t promise that,” you muttered, shaking your head. “And even if you can, I don’t know that I can.”

“That’s assuming it goes bad,” he said, nudging your shoulder with a smile. “Friday night, you and me, some fancy restaurant I can barely afford. What do you say?”

Perhaps it was the new year, or maybe just the endorphins brought on by the sight of Dr. Peña in his tight slacks, but what did you have to lose? A good friend that you weren’t even sure would be your friend if he didn’t believe it was his only way in?

“Fine,” you said, sighing. “One date. No weirdness. No expectations.”

Derrick grinned, nodding as he pulled you in for a hug. “Won’t regret it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you chuckled.

“Excuse me,” Dr. Peña appeared, in the doorway the two of you were blocking, causing Derrick to pull you out of the way and into his side. You watched Dr. Peña’s eyes scan the proximity between the two of you, a hint of disapproval on his face that you were sure you were imagining. “Have a good afternoon, you two.”

“You too,” you managed, sliding Derrick’s arm off your shoulder. “Also—“

Dr. Peña stopped, turning back towards you. “I, uh, I’ll take the job.”

“What?” Derrick scoffed, earning a curious look from Dr. Peña.

“Very well,” he nodded. “You’ll find the contract in your email tonight.”

“Thank you for the opportunity, Professor,” you said, trying your hardest not to purr the last word out the way your filthy mind yearned to.

Thank you for the opportunity, Professor. Such a fucking cliche that you had no intentions on perpetuating.

Except for the fantasies. After all, what harm could come from a silly little fantasy?

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #javier peña fic #javier peña x reader #javi peña #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fic #javier pena narcos #javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #guilty as sin?

262 notes · View notes

nu-suave · 3 days

Text

FEELING BETTER? feat. satoru, suguru, utahime

this takes obvious inspiration from im right here? by @satoruluvies ! all credit belongs to her <3

word count: 1159

summary: you're sick, and they come by to make sure you're okay. a/n: ignore the way this kind of qualifies as a sequel to something someone else wrote … also if you see this, thank you for letting me post this with credits <3 i’m notoriously shy and too pussy to ask without anon lmao

cw: mentions of throwing up

“Come on, let me in. I promise, it’s okay.”

“Suguru,” you whine, “I’m sick. I feel awful. I look awful. I threw up on Haibara earlier and he got so grossed out he threw up too. I don’t want you to get sick. Did I mention I look awful?”

“So Haibara can see you like that but I can’t?”

“Yes, because you’re my super pretty boyfriend and he’s my underclassman from high school. There’s a difference.”

Suguru sighs softly, repeating your name in that warm, tender tone he always uses. It leaves your knees weak. “Come on, angel. You know I’m not going to judge you. I just want to take care of you. I’d be a shit boyfriend to neglect you while you’re sick.”

“You’re not neglecting me, Suguru.” You huff. You hesitate, though, his sweet words are enough to have your hand hovering over the doorknob. “...I haven’t showered in two days. I’m snotty. My voice sounds like shit. I haven’t brushed my teeth from the last time I threw up.”

“Baby,” he says, “let me in. I’ll take care of you, okay?”

“Okay,” you whisper, your voice hoarse and thick. The door groans softly as you open the door, peering at Suguru stands. You probably smell awful. Still, he steps into your space and presses a kiss to the crown of your head. “Sorry for the mess.”

“Don’t worry about it.” His hand wraps around the back of your neck, pressing one more kiss to your temple before pulling away. “When was the last time you ate?”

You wince. “Can’t remember. I don’t think I can hold any food down.”

“Let’s just try, okay? You take a shower then lie down, and I’ll make you some bread and soup. Can you do that for me?”

“You treat me so well,” you mumble. “Sorry for not letting you in earlier.”

“It’s okay. I’m here now.”

“Did you seriously invite Gojou over to take care of you?” Utahime complains idly as she grabs two dirty mugs off the coffee table to move them to the kitchen. You feel bad making her clean up after your sick self, but you’ve been banished to the couch - cocooned in a large blanket, your nose sniffling with every other word. “Honestly, did he even do anything? This place is a mess.”

“He held my hair while I was throwing up?”

Given the scowl that contorts her features, that was obviously not the thing you were supposed to say. “Seriously? Did he make sure you ate? Did he even get you the proper meds?”

“He’s not that incompetent,” you say mildly, “and I didn’t want to bother you. You were in Kyoto, Hime.”

“You know I’d travel the distance for you anyday,” she replies softly, “you didn’t need to go to Gojou. I’m here for you.”

“I know. I just… you care so much about your kids. I feel bad stealing your attention from them.”

“They’re my students. You’re my girlfriend.”

You sniffle. “I love you.”

Utahime softens, scooping another mug off the coffee table. “I love you too. You know I’m always a call away, right? I wouldn’t leave you to fend for yourself while you’re sick.”

“Yeah. I just haven’t been thinking straight.”

“Clearly.” She smiles at you, her eyes crinkling with affection. Your heart swells three sizes, like you’re the Grinch or something. “I made you some soup. Do you think you can keep it down?”

You nod slowly. “I think so. My stomach’s feeling better.”

“Good. I’ve taken the next two days off, alright? Let’s just focus on you getting better.”

“Hime–”

“I’m serious.” She reaches over, hand squeezing yours where you’re clutching at the edge of the blanket. “The kids can wait. You’re more important.”

“You’re going to make me cry,” you sniffle, “you have a poor, sick girlfriend, and you’re making them cry.”

Satoru shows up at your door within the hour. He’s in flattering disarray; his hair is still down and messy, rectangular glasses cover his eyes, he’s dressed down in a soft shirt he normally wears to sleep, and there’s a plastic bag in his hand overflowing with some purchases he must’ve made on his way over. You squint at it, and just barely see a new box of paracetamol, right next to a pack of your favourite tea.

“Hi,” you say quietly, wincing at the way you sound. “Sorry. I’m still feeling sick.”

“That’s fine.” He lifts the bag, and it sways from side to side as it hangs in the air between you two. “I bought some stuff. Now let me in. When did you last eat? How’ve you been feeling? Were you lonely, rotting away in bed alone without me there for company?”

“I had Nanami run to grab me some painkillers,” you reply, stepping to the side so he can come in. He quickly makes himself at home, kicking his shoes off at the door before shutting it for you. “I threw up on him at some point. I still feel bad.”

“He can deal. I’d have helped you, you know?”

“Yeah, but-” Your brows furrow as you look into the bag, taking in everything. He’d really gone all out - instead of just painkillers and tea, there’s also lemon and ginger tea, a stuffed toy, roughly three different desserts he must’ve picked up on the way, and three steaming thermos’. You’re impressed he was so willing to just drop them in there with everything, not even scared about them spilling. “You didn’t need to get all of this. I swear, it’s not that bad.”

“Of course I did. Since my lovely partner didn’t want to tell me they were sick–”

“Satoru, you were in Belgium.” Your snotty, clogged nose ruins any possible emotion you could put into those words. “You were busy, and I didn’t want to bother you. I’m sorry.”

“Still. Nanami?” He says, and oh god, is he whining?

“Would you rather I called Suguru?”

“I want you to call me.” His hand snatches your own, fingers settling between the gaps of your own. “Is it so bad I want to be the one taking care of you when you’re sick?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you first. I just really didn’t want you to worry.”

“It’s my job to worry.” He tugs you closer by the hand, his other moving to cup your cheek as his bag of gifts slides down to his elbow. He leans in, and you quickly press your hand over his face.

“Don’t kiss me, you’ll get sick.”

He pulls your hand away. “You’re a horrible partner. First I don’t know you’re sick, then you’re refusing to kiss me - what next? Are you going to eat my dessert? Are you going to kick me out? I got your favourites!”

You snort. “Don’t be too dramatic, baby. I just don’t want you getting sick too.”

“We can be sick together then! Come on–”

hi. fun fact i misread a due date for one of my assignments and thought it was due last night. it was due two weeks ago. anyways i panicked and emailed my professor and she was nice enough to give me an extension to friday .. thank you my lord and saviour. i'm sorry i stress wrote fanfiction instead of working on the assignment worth 30% of my grade.

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finisnihil · 3 days

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2.2 Sunday analysis spoilers ahead

I think a scene that perfectly sums up the Dreammaster and his relationship with Sunday is the one where he’s breaking the news to Sunday that Robin was shot.

Sunday has just appointed head of the Oak Family, given a position of upmost power. The Dreammaster leads in by giving Sunday Robin’s letter and then he innocently asks if she mentioned a stray bullet. A stray bullet? Why would she mention a stray bullet? Robin is safe and happy, wherever could she run into a stray bullet?

Well, a war broke out on that planet she sought it out because of it. For the sake of the Harmony and saving lives… she went to the front lines. You know, where stray bullets tend to shoot down innocent birds?

Well, holy shit, is she okay? Of course I mean it only struck her neck directly but I guess because she is doing such glorious deeds Xipe saw fit let her sing a while longer still. You should write to her- oh no, you stupid boy, only after you finish your pressing work now that you're head, hm?

Let's break down the interaction, shall we?

Firstly, this show was meant to sever Sunday's trust in Robin and isolate him. Robin is the person Sunday cares about the most, his life is but a tool to maintain her happiness and he's not quiet about the fact he'd chose Robin over the Family. When Robin didn't want to sing for Ena in the final plan, Sunday betrays the Dreammaster by taking her place as the sacrificial lamb instead. Point being, Robin is Sunday's only real support system and his only access to something that hasn't been rotted by the Family's corruption. The Dreammaster starts the conversation by highlighting how Robin withholds information from Sunday. She didn't mention getting shot, she didn't mention going to a planet because of war, she didn't mention anything. She isn't telling Sunday when she's in danger. Sunday is already terrified of the world around him, of how bleeding hearts like his sister's and his suffer for their kindness. The Dreammaster going about things this way instills a layer of distrust, Sunday can't trust Robin to be honest with him, he can't trust Robin to be safe, he can’t trust her to trust him. Thus, Robin is taken out of the equation and Sunday is alone with only the Dreammaster in his ear.

Next, we drill in a blame of the Harmony. Robin serves the Harmony like a good child of Xipe but it's precisely that which put her in harm's way. Would she have gone into that situation if not for the ideals of the Harmony? The Dreammaster twists this logic in Sunday's head, whispering it was the Harmony that got his sister shot and mockingly noting that maybe the only reason Robin wasn't dead from it was because she served Xipe so well; he implies that if she failed to meet that nonexistent standard next time, maybe Xipe will let Robin die. Sunday can't trust Xipe to protect Robin because it was Xipe's will that almost killed her. Now he's more vulnerable for the ideals of Order to sing their claws in.

Finally, Sunday's lack of control is emphasized. Sunday has just been appointed Oak Family Head but he still has no control over anything. He can't act out of line because those who supported him may stop and if he fails to uphold the pristine image of the Family there will be hell to pay. Still, I think the most sinister thing about his lack of control is seen when the Dreammaster stresses that Sunday can only write back to Robin after he has finished his "outstanding tasks". He was just coldly told the person he cares most about in the world was almost killed without her deigning to inform him, and he can't even talk about it with her and make sure she's okay until he does his paperwork. The position of Family head is nothing but a formality and it isn't enough to save Robin, it isn't enough to save anyone. Sunday has never been in control so maybe... He should create a world where he has it through Order.

In the credits we see the Dreammaster refered to as "Sunday's Servant" but it's obvious the Dreammaster was the one who manipulated and pushed Sunday to this point, intensifying his trauma and pushing Robin out so he could be the only whisper in Sunday's ear, so he could warp Sunday to be the vessel of Order he wants from him.

This entire scene would have gone so much differently if the Dreammaster actually cared about Sunday but we can tell he doesn't. From the start Sunday has been a bleeding heart that bleeds more heavily every time he tries to alleviate suffering. He's trapped in the cage of Penacony and has come to think the buildup of broken dreams and pain he's exposed to is the way of the entire universe. Robin escaped but Sunday can't.

Sunday is ultimately responsible for everything he did but you can't ignore that the path he took to get here reeks of the Dreammaster's malicious influence. Gallagher notes Sunday is just like Misha in a lot of ways and I think that's why the Dreammaster honed in on him so intensely. Sunday had the potential to ruin everything if he took the path Robin and Misha did so he had to have his wings clipped and taught to think a cage means love, that Order is the way, not Harmony.

It's genuinely such a good sequence, the tension of it all makes it work so well. The fact that Sunday is haunted by it and that the Dreammaster so successfully got into his head without him really noticing. He basically did what Aventurine bragged about doing, exploiting Robin's suffering to hit Sunday where he's soft. The Dreammaster functionally set up a bomb and coaxed Sunday into being the one to set it off.

Sunday is a wonderfully written antagonist, but the Dreammaster is a wonderfully written villain.

#honkai star rail #finis analyzes #Sunday HSR #HSR Sunday #He makes me insane #I feel like not enough people are mentioning the Dreammaster and his part in the background #Like that man gave me the ick every single time he was around Sunday and Robin #I wanted so back to chuck that Raven into a wall whenever I saw it #Which is saying something because ravens are my favorite birds #THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU SUNDAY

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pablitogavii · 1 day

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Hello can you do a Fanfic about Pablo Gavi and the reader are in toxic Relationship but with some smut? Btw no pressure take your time writing 💘💌

They are not in a relationship..yet ;)

Moving in with Pablo Gavi might have been the worst choice of my life. Even though the apartment was in the center, very luxurious and nice, having him as a roommate was the same as having him as a jealous boyfriend sometimes!

"I'm telling you that you're not going out like that!" Pablo was determined laying back in the sofa watching some old Barça game while I was getting ready in my own bedroom.

"And I'm telling you to stop acting like my dad Pablo! Just because we live together doesn't mean you can boss me around!" I yelled back rolling my eyes while messaging his sister. She is the one who suggested I move in with her younger brother so I at least have someone in Barcelona.

"I won't repeat myself, Y/n..you..are..not..going..anywhere" he was now at my door frame checking out my little black dress trying his best to look me in the eyes instead.

"Why do you care what I wear!? Maybe I want some attention tonight!" I said the first thing that came to mind obviously not meaning it..truth be told, I quickly developed a crush on my jealous roommate.

"Whose attention!?" he was quick and I rolled my eyes grabbing my phone but he quickly snatched it from my hands looking at the screen.

"Hey! That's mine! Give it back asshole!" I jumped trying to grab my phon from him but his hand quickly wrapped around my waist holding my down while he looked at my messages with his sister.

"You're dissing me to my sister, bug?" he smirked and I rolled my eyes pulling away and crossing my arms in front of my chest in anger. Pablo gave my phone back when he was satisfied that it was only his sister I was texting.

"Now if you're satisfied, move so I can go"I said about to walk past him but he was still as a statue shaking his head looking down at my little outfit.

"You will get in trouble looking like that at night.." he said more so worried than angry now. I looked him with big eyes using them to my advantage per usual. I quickly learned how to get my way with this man.

"Fine! Do what you want but have me on speed dial!" he said leaving my room and I smiled nodding my head quickly kissing his cheek before leaving for the night.

y.n.bebe

Barcelona, Spain

See ya tonight Barcelona ✨

comments:

juancarlos: aiii mamiiii 🤤

javierbar: i'll search for you in the crowds hermosa

braxtonmall: things I'd do to that body mamiii

gavifans: is Gavi coming???

aurorapaezg: linda💗

y.n.bebe: 💗💗

Pablo just kept scrolling down at the comments of various men saying the most gross and nasty things they would do to me. He was so anxious that he couldn't even pay any more attention to the game so he turned the TV off.

All he could think about is me in that black dress..all alone..with all of those sick people out there. He quickly changed into some fancy clothes texting to ask for my location. I didn't respond cause music was too loud to hear anything, so he called Aurora in the middle of the night.

"Do you know what club she went to Rora!?" he asked and the girl was just waking up from her sleep confused.

"Pablo? Did something happen to Y/n?" she asked

"No! I mean, I don't know! But she shouldn't be out looking like that and alone! It's dangerous Rora! They know she lives with me, so what if someone attacks or kidnaps her!?" he was spirling and Aurora told him to breathe for a moment.

"Seriously, Pablo. You care almost like you're her boyfriend. She's probably fine, why don't you go to sleep?" Aurora said knowing deep down about her brother's crush on me.

"I can't sleep when she's not here...just please tell me where she went!" he said feeling his own heart jump at the words he used. He really cared about me and wished I knew how much.

Meanwhile, the party was getting boring. People were too drunk and everyone started touching random strangers. I was never into that kind of stuff so I decided to call myself an Uber and go home knowing Pablo must be going mental already.

When I turned on my phone, I gulped. Shit! He called me nine times!? Ohh he's probably pissed off right now.

"Pretty girls like you don't need to pay for an Uber, I can drive you home linda" half drunk man walked up to me and I politely said that I was fine.

"What!? You think you too good for anyone but Pablo Gavi!? I have the same car as him, princess..vamos!" he was grabbing my hand now and i panicked speed dialing my emergency contact..Pablo Gavi.

"Y/n! Are you crazy not to answer your phone! Hola!?" Pablo's voice was heard as he was yelling as I tried my best to make him realize I was in trouble.

"Um..I don't want to go with you please leave me alone" I said a bit louder hoping Pablo heard before hanging up the phone.

Since Aurora told him where I was, he was already almost there seeing me in the parking lot pulling away from the guy and quickly braking and rushing outside of the car not caring that he almost cause a car accident.

"Hey hijo de puta! How do you like this, huh!?" he fist punched him and I screamed while he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the car with him before cameras and paparazzi showed up.

"Oh my God Pablo! You won't believe what happened..I.." I was catching my breath trying to talk but he interrupted me rather rudely.

"Callate! We'll talk when we get home!" he said and I gulped looking at his clenched jaw and bloody knuckles..fuck he was pissed off now!

"Come on, let me help you" he said seeing a little bruise on my knee when I fell trying to run and he carried me bridal style onto our shared apartment. I felt my heart beating fast as he sat me down on the sofa grunting a little while inspecting his hand.

"Pablo..I.." I tried again but he shook his head making me shut up.

"Are you really angry with me?" I said sadly but he was in no mood for sentiments. He was scared half to death when he heard my helpless voice on the phone.

"Yes! I am angry with you!" he yelled and I punted curling up in the ball leaving him alone.

"I told you what would happen! Bot Mrs. Independant does anything she wants even if it puts her in trouble!" he was saying it still not looking into my eyes.

"I didn't know that would happen, okay!?" I was angry now too. Why was he scolding me when if I try to be closer to him he pushes me away!?

"What did you think huh!? That you can protect yourself if a guy throws himself at you!?" he said finally looking at me with eyes red from anger.

"Whatever, Pablo! I didn't need your help anyways!" now I was acting out of stubbornness hating the fact that he still looks at me as a child. I tried getting up but he wouldn't let me throwing me on the sofa and hovering above me.

"Oh yeah!? And what would you do if a guy pins you down like this, huh!? Hold your arms above your head? You would fight him off, no?" he was mocking me now and I blushed bright red at the position we were currently in. He was only inches away from my face holding me tightly against the sofa.

"Pablo, let me go!" I said trying to struggle which only made the boy laugh.

"That's all you would do? Please, bug you don't have half of my strenght!" he said and I stopped struggling looking away with a sad face. He was right..he really saved me tonight and I am giving him the attitude again.

"I know what I would do.." I whisper and he leans down turning my face towards his.

"What is that preciosa?" he said looking from my lips to my eyes and I bit my lower lip..fuck it!

"I would call you.." I admit and he smirked nodding his head and leaning further down to capture my lips in a sweet passionate kiss.

"And I would always come..to protect you princesa" he spoke while leaving butterfly kisses down my neck and shoulders while I closed my eyes enjoying the new sensation.

"Mm Pablito?" I said and he raised his head looking me in the eyes.

"Yes mi amor?" he said and I swear something in be broke the moment i heard those words leave his gorgeous lips.

"Are you still angry with me?" I say with a smile and he shakes his head in disbelief shrugging his shoulders in response.

"What if I help you now?" I said moving a little to sit on his lap and he welcomed it curious to what I will do next. I smile leaning forwards to kiss his knuckles and he smiled playing with my hair gently.

"Better mi heroe?" I smile looking up and he smirked nodding his head and leaning down to kiss my lips hungrily.

"Don't ever do something stupid like this again, princesa!?" he said sternly and I blushed nodding my head.

"Now i have all the attention I need at home..from mi novio" I said and he grabbed my neck pulling me a little up before smashing his lips onto mine again.

"How long I wanted to hear you say that mi amor.." he whispered into my lips while we were kissing.

#gavigif #gavi #fc barça #fc barca #fc barcelona #pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi #gavi x you #gavi x yn #gavi x reader

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moodymisty · 2 days

Note

AAAAAA COULD YOU PLEASE MAYBE WRITE SOME CONTENT OF DAD! ROBOUTE WITH HIS S/O AFTER THEY HAVE KIDS? I WOULD BE SUPER MEGA ULTRA GRATEFUL!! THANK YOU!!

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's note: Here you go, enjoy some cute dadboute content :3

Relationships: Roboute Guilliman/Fem!Reader

Warnings: None really other than the implication of a dangerous pregnancy

“So, where is the little lady?”

Sanguinus crosses his arms casually over his chest, ignoring the sound of weapons clanking against each other. Guilliman does much the same.

“She is in our quarters resting still. The medicae insisted bedrest after he was born.” Sanguinus takes his words seriously, he was one of the only people Guilliman confided his worried about you in. However he also smiles, which Guilliman finds odd until he speaks.

“I imagine it must be a bit frustrating, having to be away from them.” Many of the Primarchs have struggled to contain their jealousy regarding Guilliman’s love, but Sanguinus is kind; He doesn’t doubt he’ll find someone soon.

“Believe me, I would much rather be there than here with you lot.”

Sanguinus smiles wider.

“Horus and Russ both have wandered off, I’ll keep a secret if you want to go see her.”

Guilliman doesn’t need it to be kept a secret, but knowing that Sanguinus will keep the other Primarchs at bay so he can enjoy a moment with his new son is more than appreciated. He gives Sanguinus a nod and takes his leave, the angel's eyes lingering on him for a few moments before looking away.

Each step closer to his quarters makes Guilliman just that bit more relieved, until he sees you in bed. Your child rests in your arms, asleep while you work on something on a dataslate. The medicae had specified plenty of bedrest for you as your body recovered, and he’s relived you’re taking it to heart.

He had also specifically said not to sleep with you for a while, nor get you pregnant until you were completely healed, which had embarrassed Guilliman greatly.

Hearing him enter the massive room you look up, setting the dataslate aside to give him your full attention. You do so gently to avoid shaking the baby in your arms, who does little more than make a few grumbles as you shift.

“You’re back soon, did things end early?” He comes closer and shakes his head, after kneeling at the side of the bed.

“I left for a moment to see you.” You smile, but it's coated in over-exaggerated suspicion.

“The Guilliman I know would never miss or skip out on a meeting. You must be an imposter.”

You seem in bright spirits joking and teasing him, but Guilliman knows well that the child of a primarch nearly killed you- and that you’re still more than likely in pain. He leans down to gently press a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“Perhaps I have been. And the others were none the wiser.”

Guilliman looks down at his child in your arms and gently moves his hand close, brushing a knuckle across his cheek.

"You should come back in an hour or two when he’s up to eat and put him back to sleep,” You say, and Guilliman gives you a sour look that makes you giggle.

Quite quickly you’ve learned that Guilliman’s voice seems to put your child right to sleep, something you’ve endlessly teased him about. While his voice is something you'll never tire of in its deep and dulcet tone, he can quickly become drone and monotonous depending on subject matter.

“Let me get a copy of this months expenditure for the Ultramarines and I’ll return to read it.” You would ask him to hold his child, but you know he’s still nervous about it. He’s still so small; Guilliman worries about his strength. You don’t push it, but you know he’s showing his love in other ways.

“Quite the bedtime story,” You look up at him as he cups his hand around your child’s side.

“You jest, but in my youth my father or mother would tell me about old Macraggian wars before bed.” Guilliman's eyes look away from his child for only a moment to see you scoff.

“Old battle tales are a bit different than a spending document, Roboute.”

Guilliman can’t help but soften his face. He’s so used to hearing his family name or titles; Guilliman, Lord Guilliman, Lord Primarch. He enjoys when he hears you say his name with such softness.

A knock on the door startles you, but you know Guilliman had heard whoever it was coming well before.

“Lord Guilliman? I apologize for the disturbance Lord Dorn is asking for you.” Guilliman sighs.

“I will be there momentarily.”

He looks to you and reaches a hand up to cup your face. You lean into it, smiling and enjoying the warmth of his palm against your skin. Leaning in he presses a kiss to your lips, and stays perhaps longer than he should have. He can hear you contently sigh until he pulls away, and leans to give a kiss to the top of his sleeping son’s head.

“You keep resting. Both of you.”

He looks harshly at you, almost scolding you preemptively. He glares at you as you roll your eyes, but there’s no true discontent behind his expression.

“Love you too, Roboute.”

#Roboute Guilliman x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer 40k x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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emsgwenstan · 2 days

Text

Knowing what goes unsaid

(Larissa Weems x fem reader). Angst

Words: 2k? Idk

Warnings: alcohol.

Notes: I haven’t been writing much, I know this isn’t great but I need to post something. Hardly edited so apologies In advance.

She knows. She knows how I feel. She can see it in the way I look at her, the way I gaze at her. She knows that my body magnetises to hers, she knows that the reason I’m always taking off my coat around her isn’t because I’m simply ‘hot’, it’s because of the blush, the constant undeniable blush that kisses my cheeks, gives me away every time I’m in her presence.

She can see it in the way I admire her, constantly, always complimenting her style, her hair, her make up, her nails, her jewellery, her clothes, her perfume, her shoes, all the things I can on the outside, but I wish she could see all the things I see on the inside, her personality, her mind, her sweetness, her stubbornness, her love, her kindness, her wit, her drive and protectiveness, but how do I say say that and not sound like a total freak?

She can be standing on a podium and have everyone whipped, completely in awe of her, wrapped around her little finger…well, she definitely has the effect on me. She can do anything, or perhaps nothing at all and I will still find her the most interesting and important person in a room, sitting in the weathervane just minding her own business, walking in the sunshine every afternoon at 4:30pm on the dot, even if it’s raining or gloomy out she still manages to be outdoors even if it’s only for a short while. I adore her, all of her, every little thing, but I’m not as daft to believe she feels the same.

The first time I realised, the very first moment I came to the conclusion that I didn’t just care for her as a friend, was when I found her at the lake one night, completely wasted, completely exhausted and completely out of it. I didn’t even utter a word, nor did I question the reason of her state, I simply took her cheeks in my palms and stared into her drunken, dazed, piercing, blue eyes, even then as a mess she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I took her hand in mine, feeling the softness of her touch, feeling her warmth radiating into my own skin. I guided her back to her office, cleaning up a broken glass and disposing of the empty bottles of wine. She stood still as if she would break if she moved, even just a little, tears were threatening to spill from swollen eyes down cold flushed cheeks.

As I returned to her, I grasped the thick cream coat draped over her shoulders and pulled it off, lightly tossing it onto the back of a nearby chair. Stood deadly quiet in front of her, the air of the room was filled with rather loud emotions, her breathing was shallow yet sharp, controlled but unsober. She was tired, she was sad and she was lonely, I reached for her earrings and I unclasped them relieving her of the tension, as well as her necklace, bracelet and watch, cupping the back of her hand I raised it to the space between us and put the jewellery in her palm, a silent plea for her to turn in and go to bed.

As I took the step towards the door, she reached out and stoped me, my wrist was held in a tight grip, that in itself was a plea on her behalf. I saw in her face what she wanted, the expression I will never forget. ‘Please don’t leave’. Is what she conveyed, letting a tear roll down her porcelain skin, stepping back I raised my hand to her face wipped it away, I told her with my own eyes ‘I can’t, I can’t because I won’t leave’. She let go and watched as I walked away.

I wanted to stay, I wanted to show her I’m here, I’ve always been here, but alas my heart couldn’t handle the overwhelming feeling that I can’t have her. Days, weeks, months passed without a single word of that night, but we knew, each and every moment we saw each other from that day it was different, a new understanding, a new appreciation, a safe atmosphere, a distant longing. I know she knows. She can see it in the way I try to avoid her, she can see it in the way I’m softly spoken when addressing her in an almost timid manner.

Next was the rave’in, it was the first time I had ever been so affected by someone’s beauty, as a chaperone I didn’t think I would find much personal enjoyment out of the night, yet when she walked through the doors adorning a slim red dress and elbow length gloves I could have sworn that my heart skipped a beat, I could feel my chest aching, I could feel my soul reaching for her. She looked at me once that whole night, her superficial smile faded and cheeks tinged with a pink hue, I almost missed it due to the low lighting of the hall and once again no words were uttered out loud, but I could tell what she was feeling, I felt it too.

More weeks passed and time slowed, each day dragging on longer taunting me with the fact that my days mean nothing, my mornings, my afternoons, my nights, my lonely, quiet nights. Time knew to, it knew that I yearned for her, it knew that I knew she was also lonely and longing, not necessarily for me, but for someone…anyone. It seems that the lord of dreaming knew too, my restless nights only consisted of her, turns out the waking world is just reality, not dreams, because if they were I’d be awaking to the smell of hot tea and the sweet aroma of her silver spun hair, I’d roll over in silk sheets to find a beautifully bound book held in slender hands with red fingernails carefully spreading the pages open and a woman who was carved from marble blissfully unaware of my drowsy smile.

She is beautiful, she is blithe, she is grace and she is the epitome of all things breathtaking, I don’t just mean the exterior, the facade of professionalism, the mask, I see her, I see her as she is, as she always has been. Today is when she let it slip, her meticulously curated front fell, only a little, but enough for me to see something was wrong, she was breaking. Sitting in the conference room with the entirety of nevermores staff, her shoulders were tense, her brows lightly furrowed and eyes almost unrecognisable without the usual glint of optimism, every time she needed to speak she would swallow hard as if trying to rid a lump in her throat before stuttering out somewhat cohesive responses.

She didn’t want to be there. In fact the second the meeting adjourned she picked up her phone, paperwork and cold coffee cup and made her way back to her office without a glance back at the room. I saw her body sway haphazardly as she reached her large wooden doors, I started to second guess following her, I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t know why I felt the need to trail so awkwardly behind her, but something in me needed to make sure she was ok.

When I arrived at her once again closed doors, I raised my fist in the air ready to knock and took a deep breath, what exactly I was readying myself for at the time, I had no idea. Drawing back about to strike the wood with my knuckles a rather frantic student came bolting down the corridor. “Miss y/l/n! Please! There’s a pack of wear wolfs fighting in the quad and you’re the first teacher I found.” A very puffed Enid Sinclair breathed out.

I turned on the spot, immediately she lead the way, I could see over the railing the four boys who were tackling each other in the mud, seems that a down pour took place when in the meeting. Running down the stairs in a hurry, I told her to stay under shelter and not risk getting involved, a look of warning was given to all surrounding students as they watched the commotion. A deep breath. “Hey!” I shouted, only one of the boys looked to see who it was. Then and there I took it upon myself to do what I just said not to, get involved.

I marched into the rain and b-lined to the commotion. “Stop it, for god sake!” At this point I was just blatantly annoyed, putting myself in the line of fire I reached out and pulled two of the boy’s shirt collars and ripped them apart standing between the two. “Pull yourselves together! Your parents don’t pay your tuition for you to pull this crap!” I yelled. I stepped past the two and stood in front of the next boys who were still, pathetically might I add, punching on. I didn’t say a word, but quickly did they stop.

A stern expression was sent their way and the looks I received in return were nothing short of apologetic and anxious glances, they all know what’s to come, however I can’t be bothered to make a mess of the rest of the day. “Shower, Dinner and dorm. Do you all understand?” I asked the boys, nods and ‘yes Miss’s, erupted quietly and quickly before they scurried off to their appointed tasks. “Back to the dining hall, now.” I said to all the other lurking kids.

It’s really starting to pour down, the morning sunshine completely gone and replaced with cold showers and gloomy skies. Seeing I’m already soaked to the bone i thought I may as-well take a moment to enjoy it, except when I raised my head, I saw her, hands clamped to the railing, a somewhat frightened look on her face and the realisation that she’d been seen. I stared at her, I could see in her eyes that she was torn, even from this far away.

She whipped around and sauntered away. I know she knows. I didn’t waste time, I trudged back through the mud and made it to the stairs, after taking a few steps I removed my shoes and carried them the rest of the way, every hurried step along the freezing stones, was another step closer to her. The second I made it to her office I dropped my shoes and opened the door without knocking.

She was there. Her back turned towards me staring out the large window behind her desk, her head bowed slightly and hands hugging onto her torso. I stood rooted in place dripping wet and heavily breathing. “Larissa.” I said quietly, her head raised and arms dropped to her side, she peered over her shoulder to glance at me, her body following, turning to fully gaze at me.

‘Please’.

I didn’t take my eyes off hers. Not even when she took a step and a step back, second guessing herself. Not even when she finally decided to let go and stride directly towards me, not until she reached to my face with her warm hands and kissed me. I know she knows. She knows… that I know.

“I love you.”

———

@sabraaabra

#gwendoline christie #larissa weems #principle weems #wednesday #gwenchrist(ie)#larissa weems x y/n #larissa x reader #wlw fanfic #larissa weems x reader

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bookishdaze · 18 hours

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Here's why a potential "love story" between Mae and Noa, whether explicit or simply implied, may not be such a terrible idea.

Why? Because Shakespeare told me so, that's why.

"When in doubt, it's from Shakespeare....or the Bible." At least according to a book I had to read for high school, lol.

The biblical references in Caesar's trilogy have been pointed out multiple times already, and these movies have also been described as Shakespearean tragedies. So I thought, 'ok, what kind of Shakespearean tragedy will we have this time around?'

I'm first gonna start off with Hamlet in the Caesar trilogy. I'm also gonna mention other popular movies that are based on Shakespeare's plays. Not necessarily because it's concrete proof that this is what will happen in future POTA movies. This is me simply picking up certain storytelling beats and patterns I've noticed in some of my favorite movies.

It's not 100% the same, but there are some similarities. Also, this isn't anything new. Many have pointed this out before, but I love talking about this stuff!

The Lion King, Black Panther, and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes are loosely based on Hamlet. A king or rightful heir is killed. Usually by an evil uncle, cousin, or family member. For some reason this always results in them falling off a very high cliff.

Everyone thinks they're dead, the evil relative takes power, and everything kinda sucks. There is not enough food in the Pride Lands under Scar's rule. Killmonger burns the heart-shaped herbs. Koba leads the apes to war against the humans.

The rightful ruler spends time in exile, recovering from their wounds and trauma. They might even get a visit or have a recollection of their dead father.

Then the rightful ruler comes back from the dead, challenges the usurper, and regains their rightful place upon the throne.

Now lets take a look at their sequels.

The Lion King 2 and Wakanda Forever share some similarities. They both follow another one of Shakespeare's popular plays, Romeo and Juliet.

Like the Montagues and Capulets, we have two rival kingdoms in both movies. We got the Pridelanders and the Outsiders. We also got the Wakandans and Talokanils.

The two heirs/rulers from both kingdoms meet. They hate and don't trust each other at first, but then they start to have compassion for the other. In Kiara and Kovu's case, they fall in love. Namor and Shuri don't fall in love, but after Namor shows her his underwater kingdom and what he has to protect, she softens and begins to understand him more. (They even got the whole Hades and Persephone thing going on, who are a couple in Greek mythology, by the way).

There are losses on both sides. Kovu's brother was killed while going after Simba. One of Namor's people was killed when Shuri was rescued by Nakia, and Shuri's mother, Queen Ramonda, died after Namor's attack on Wakanda. (Starts nervously eyeing Anaya here...)

These losses make things worse, by the way.

In the end, both pairs are able to bring the fighting between their people to a stop. The Outsiders are welcomed into Simba's pride. The Wakandans and Talokanils stop fighting after seeing their leaders return together.

Maybe something similar like this will happen with Noa and Mae. While I'm all for a good romance, it may end up being more like Namor and Shuri's case. There's something there. The tropes are present, but they don't fall in love. (At least not yet. Please Ryan Coogler, give me Nashuri endgame in Black Panther 3, hehe).

This is just a theory, by the way. This doesn't have to happen, but I just think it'd be neat. There would be differences though. What those differences would be, idk, but whatever happens in the next one, I can't wait!

"But but.... aren't you forgetting something?"

What's that?

"Don't they...ya know...both die at the end?"

Besides, they don't have to die. Things can be a little more hopeful for our two heroes 🙈

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delicious-in-imagines · 3 days

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Hiiiii~! Could I get some kiss hcs for kabru, mithrun, and falin?

Of course you can, hun! (Also man, the Kabru love - all three requests I've gotten have him in there!)

Kabru of Utaya

Kabru definitely seems like the type to take good care of himself, so he's definitely got soft lips, if only a little rough on the very edge of the inside from lightly chewing them.

We all know that Kabru has his eyes on everyone constantly, reading their behavior, their reactions - and that absolutely extends to you. Especially when the pair of you are locking lips.

Oh sure, it's going to start out all sweet and chaste, just a peck here and there. But, as he does so, he's always going to be taking in the way that you react to each kiss, finding each one of your weak spots before you may even realize you have them.

He's definitely a tease. He loves long, indulgent kisses, starting with a brush of his lips against your hands tucked into his own, grazing along your knuckles. He'll slowly make his way up your arm, along your shoulder, into the crook of your neck. His pace is absolutely glacial as he continues up along your jaw, and finally, once you're desperate for his lips on yours - he goes in for the kill.

Those kinds of kisses are obviously reserved for private moments between the two of you, though he isn't against a quick smooch in front of the others.

Usually these happen before setting off for the day in the form of a 'good luck' kiss, quick and chaste as can be. Holm will tease him wondering where his good luck kiss is, meanwhile Mickbell is gagging in the background like a small kid watching their parents smooch.

Spoilers for Mithrun and Falin below!

Mithrun of the House of Kerensil

Mithrun's kisses are going to depend entirely on what point in the manga that you're getting them from him.

Pre-ending, you're going to have to be the one to initiate every kiss. He feels the effects of the kiss on him, the heat pooling in his gut, the way his heart may skip a beat - but that lacking desire really makes him struggle to reciprocate. He doesn't feel the want to kiss or embrace you, even if his body reacts to the sensations.

It's something that you wil continue to struggle with through to the end, just like making sure that he eats and sleeps to his body's satisfaction. The longing in his heart that doesn't make sense in his head - only replaced by the gentle thumping in the wake of your kisses.

Post-ending is a different story entirely. His pursuit of creating new desires means that he plays a much more active part in the relationship, especially when it comes to his kisses. They're gentle, soft things, and yet carry the insistence of a man chasing after finally wanting something in over forty years.

He'll press and press and press intent on taking everything that you're willing to give in the kiss. He'll leave you gasping for breath, face flushed and heart thumping a staccato against your sternum, meanwhile he looks only the tiniest bit ruffled. Completely unfair.

His lips are almost always lightly chapped, and if you stop him before he kisses you to tell him to put some balm on, he'll come back almost immediately, which means you get to share!

He hardly cares wherever he is, or whoever he's around. When he feels that inkling that too much time has passed since he's locked lips with you, he's going to get that kiss. The Canaries will groan, whoop, and tease constantly, considering that they are usually in the front row for these lip locks. For all their reactions, each and every one of them are glad to see Mithrun beginning to return to some sort of normalcy.

Falin Touden

Before her transformation she's more of a shy kisser. You can always tell when the two of you have been doing it, because she's all disheveled and flushed in the face.

Some of her favorite kisses are when you pepper her face in gentle kisses, though she once again gets so flustered. She'll try to reciprocate, but it usually ends in the two of you bumping noses, or clicking teeth, and peals of laughter shared between the two of you.

You can always tell whenever she wants a kiss from you, because she'll sort of hover around you, wringing her hands. If you ask her if she wants a kiss, she'll give an embarrassed squeak before nodding, and leaning in to meet you half way.

After her transformation and second revival, she's a little more of a go-getter. Gone are the days of waifishly swooning while she waits for a kiss, she'll grab ahold of you by the face, smiling so wide before she plants one right on your lips. You can feel her happiness plain on her lips, and your kisses are peppered with giggles and cooing.

She'll also continue to chase the kiss, and it almost feels like she's trying to consume you from the inside of your mouth. She won't stop until you're the one pulling away, the slightly pinprick to her pupils, blush painted along her cheeks as she rests her forehead against you, waiting for you to catch your breath before going back for round 2... or 3.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi reader #delicious in dungeon reader #x reader #headcanons #hcs #dungeon meshi headcanons #delicious in dungeon headcanons #kabru of utaya #falin touden #mithrun of the house of kerensil

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heavenlyhoundoom · 1 day

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This is my tadc swap au.

Bubble 🔄 Caine

Pomni 🔄 Kinger

Gangle 🔄 Jax

Zooble 🔄 Ragatha

Kaufmo 🔄 Queenie

Gumigoo 🔄 Loolilalu

Swap quotes

1.Bubble: Welcome to the amazing digital circus! My name is Bubble. I'm your ring master, and I'm gonna show you the most jaw-dropping, heart-stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia you've ever laid your eyes upon! Isn't that right, Caine?

(Caine flies out of Bubble's hat.)

Caine: That's right, Bubble. I can't wait to see what you're cooking up for today!

2.Gangle: Bubble, is this one of your NPCs, or is this a new sucker. Because if it's a new character, We're gonna have to redo this whole theme song...

Ragatha: I'm not doing that again...

3.Bubble: How about we talk about something else? Like your name.

Kinger: My name? My name is...

(Kinger realizes that he can't remember his name.)

Kinger: Oh, God! Why can't I remember my name!

Bubble: No one can remember their name once they've entered the digital circus. One of the few things I don't have control over are your minds. So all I can do is help you come up with a new name.

4.Zooble: Oh, wait. We should go check on Queenie. I'm sure she'd like to meet our new friend.

(The glionks take Pomni's pillows.)

Pomni: My impenetrable fortress!

Zooble: Hey, Pomni!

Pomni: Huh?...

Zooble: Want to come with us to go check on Queenie?

Pomni: No, not really.

(Pomni walks up to the others.)

Pomni: I think Queenie's gone insane. The last time I spoke with her, she was rambling endlessly about some exit. Kind of like you, Kinger. You might be going insane too.

5.Gangle: By the way, I may have left something in your room, so let me know if you find it. Say, you're not afraid of scorpions, are you?

Zooble: Gangle! That's literally my only fear. Why would you do this!?

Gangle: What? It could be a completely unrelated question. You never know until it's too late.

6.Prince Gumigoo: Here's the key back into the kingdom for when you've secured the goods. I trust you not to let it fall into the wrong hands?

7.Gummyshark bandit(girl): You think your dad's gonna pull through if we get all this back to the village?

Gummybear bandit(girl): I'm sure he will. This much syrup would save hundreds of people.

Loolilalu: We won't be sure until we get back to the village. He's a fighter, though. He taught me everything I know.

8.Gangle: Alright, Jax, when we catch up to them, I'll jump over, crawl inside, and shoot them repeatedly until they're unrecognizable.

Jax: I feel like that violates some kind of convention.

Gangle: You're violating my ears with your clap-back, get driving, driver!

#the amazing digital circus #tadc gangle #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #tadc queenie #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #tadc kaufmo #tadc pomni #tadc caine #tadc bubble #tadc gummigoo #tadc loolilalu #swap au

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deathsbestgirl · 16 hours

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So Never Again. Just saw this post and the way she looks up at him there is on a level with Mulder’s famous Fallen Angel eyes and his reaction to her? He doesn't melt? He chooses violence and being a dick? Please tell me why.

i LOVE this question because it is so easy to see it from scully's perspective. it's her episode. but you really have to think about mulder's perspective.

for mulder, this seems out of nowhere, and in his mind she was extremely inattentive with his informant on a case he's taking seriously. he doesn't understand what she's really asking or what the problem is, and a big part of that is she doesn't exactly either. it's almost like she's blaming him for the stand still in her life, but at the same time wants to be seen & appreciated (in a way that she understands, can feel, can see). and i don't think she could have figured it out the way she needed to with mulder. she needed the safety of talking to a stranger, someone inconsequential to her life. (like there's no way she could have that "other fathers" conversation with him lol) so ed jerse is the one to give her that. (she does with ed what she can't yet do with mulder. something neither of them are ready for and she isn't brave enough to do yet. and like. idk i just think she needed this! regardless of mulder lol)

like: "this isn't about you. or maybe it is, indirectly. i don't know." the one thing she got right is "i don't know" lol so of course mulder is confused!!

if you place leonard betts first, she's contemplating what she's leaving behind. has she had any impact working on the x files? on mulder? who is going to remember her? what evidence of her life will be left? in that office...it looks like she's had very little effect. (but i do not subscribe to this one.)

if never again is first, which i like better lollll (it makes more sense to me. i understand why people like lb first, it's more clear cut. it puts a reason behind her behavior. but i just don't think it quite fits. scully literally doesn't know what's wrong. if she was already worried about cancer, i think it would come across differently. but she's frustrated & confused and she wants for something she can't admit, express, pinpoint, articulate? idk what word i'm looking for lol) scully's just hit that point in her pattern again, her cycle...it took her four years, and after some rough cases (paper hearts – she couldn't help mulder despite how she tried, el mundo gira – a dead end. and idk, so many of their cases. and she's always wrong, he always does the crazy thing, he's always hurt)...well anyway, at the end he's still asking "all because i didn't get you a desk?" he still isn't quite understanding, until she says it's her life and he almost says "yes but it's become mine." he doesn't say it, they sit in silence, and in leonard betts, he tells her she did a good job & should be proud. all his little jokes like he's trying to make her laugh, to get back to their usual banter. because he wants to make her smile. so he understood at least a little by leonard betts. but they also come to a silent understanding. i just love the way kae talks about it. and i think the end is kind of the explanation for the beginning. the end is the real answer to the whole episode, and what it took to get there...and this post here, kae just understands him and talks about him in a way that i feel. it's exactly what i see in a way i could never articulate. (and she does my favorite thing!!! connects different moments. the characterization is so good.) and she has such a special insight to both of them, different patterns, but to me two sides of the same coin.

and so, either way, at the beginning of never again, he's completely thrown because he doesn't know. this is when their bad verbal communication and personal issues/insecurities/fears take hold. they're both so good at taking too much responsibility.

we're seeing into scully's mind a bit, but we aren't really seeing into his. but he's afraid, he doesn't want her to leave (something he's feared for a long time), he thinks space is the answer to whatever's going on. but he's also kinda needy and he can't just say that. so he calls her and they misunderstand each other again and she makes a date. he isn't trying to be an ass but he's scared & defensive, and he gets like that when she makes him nervous. like whenever she believes (beyond the sea, revelations, all souls, en ami). it feels like that to me. he's afraid, but this time he thinks he's the problem, their work is the problem. and he kinda said the worst thing he could say to her at that moment. "you were just assigned" — he has no idea how she understood that, how it hurts her. (and she's not thinking about how he means it, what he thinks/feels/fears.) and really, it's because she sucks at just saying the thing as much as he does. it takes them a long time to work out their direct communication. their unspoken communication, the way they work on their cases doesn't translate to their personal relationship. as intimate as their partnership is, working through their own issues takes time and it's those things that hinder them moving forward for so long. ya know?

i think @randomfoggytiger talks about it beautifully here — in depth essay on never again. here they touch on mulder's fear/walls & scully's insecurities/needs. it's a journey!! which they talk about here. and i forget what this one was (lol) but i'm sure i saved it for a reason: a little master post. i love the way foggy breaks things down, especially visually. it's something i could never do.

i also reblogged some other never again posts. not completely on topic but it's all connected!! (you can definitely go through my never again tag to see more probably too!)

#calimanc #asks #never again #dana scully #fox mulder #LITERALLY I DONT SAY ANYTHING #READ THE LINKED POSTS #lmaooooooo #my brain is an ouroboros tbh #mulder and scully #the x files

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vodika-vibes · 1 day

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Hello! I've been reading a lot of your content lately and love your writing so much! I was wondering if I could request a little fic about Dogma x a very outgoing, naturally confident social butterfly kind of reader who works on base and a lot of clones seem really into them, but they only ever flirt with him or try to ask him out. And their admirers can't figure out why Dogma of all people but the reader has no kriffs to give and just keeps giving him all their romantic attention until he gets it. Thanks in advance!

Two Souls Intertwined

Summary: You’ve made your choice, you just have to convince Dogma that you mean it.

Pairing: Clone Trooper Dogma x GN!Reader

Word Count: 886

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Hihi! Thank you for your request! I'm always happy to write for Dogma, so I hope you like this!

“Let me see if I understand you correctly,” You don’t look up from the game you’re playing on your comm as your coworker, and sometimes friend, drops into the seat across from you. “You’re surrounded by attractive men. At all times. And you want Dogma?”

You glance up at the way she says Dogma’s name, “What’s wrong with Dogma?” You ask, offended on his behalf.

“Well...he’s just...he’s not much fun, is he?”

“He doesn’t have to be fun, I like him anyway.”

“Just…” She shakes her head, “I know that so many of the men have a thing for you. And you’re, like, scraping the bottom of the barrel.”

You scowl at her, “I’ve made my choice, and, just for your comments, I’m going to go flirt with him even harder.”

She chokes on her caf, “I...what?”

You throw a cocky grin at her, and push to your feet, downing your caf in one long gulp, before you head out of the break room.

At this time of day, Dogma is probably outside. He likes to take what free time he’s allowed to read something. For a moment, just a moment, you feel bad about interrupting his free time, though you push the guilt aside with ease.

It’s not like he’s ever said, “Leave me alone,” after all.

You head through the halls, and open the door that leads to the courtyard in the middle of the base.

Why this base has a courtyard is beyond you, but you’re glad it does. It offers a nice change of pace from the sterile white and gray halls of the base.

And there he is, sitting under a tree with a datapad in his hands.

A bright smile crosses your face and you dutifully ignore the way that your heart skips when you see him.

You’re well and truly in love with him.

Dogma doesn’t say anything as you walk over to him, and he says nothing as you settle onto the ground next to him. Though he does glance at you when you shift so that your back is pressed against his arm and your head is tilted back to rest on his shoulder.

“Back again?” He sounds more amused than anything.

“Always.” You counter cheerfully.

“You are determined, aren’t you?”

You tilt your head back so you’re able to grin at him.

Dogma’s smile is tiny, but it is there, “Alright. Lay it on me.”

“What?”

“Today’s pick up line.”

You press a hand to your chest, a look of mock offense crossing your face, “I would never-”

“Ah, so I’ve been imagining all of those other pick-up lines, then?” Dogma asks with an arched brow, and you laugh and shift so you’re sitting next to him properly, “You know, my brothers are convinced that you’re using those just to get a reaction out of me.”

You roll your eyes, “They’re just jealous that I only have eyes for you.”

“Or they don’t believe it.” Dogma points out, “I’m sure that there are people who are more similar to you in personality than me.”

“Eh, maybe. But I’m not interested in them, I’m interested in you.” You reply.

Dogma sighs and rubs his hand over his face, “You...someday I’m going to actually believe you when you say stuff like that, and then what are you going to do?”

“Plan our date. Well, schedule our date. I already have our first date planned. We’ll get dinner and go for a walk, and then I’ll kiss you on the way home.” You nod once, “It’ll be perfect.”

He blinks at you, surprised.

You flash a crooked smile, “What? Is it really so hard to believe that I only have eyes for you?”

“Yeah, a little bit.”

“Hm, well then.” You muse thoughtfully, “How about this then? I’m in love with you.”

Dogma jolts in surprise, and you smile at him.

“I’m in love with you, and if you’re really not interested then let me know and I’ll leave you alone. But. Until that happens, I’m going to keep pursuing you.”

“...you’re in love with me?” He asks slowly.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason? I like you. You make me feel safe when I’m around you. You don’t judge me for being me.” Your grin widens, “I love you.”

Dogma releases a strangled noise and lifts his datapad to hide his face, “You’re impossible.” he complains, though he drops the datapad and flashes a small smile, “I’d like that date, actually.”

“...really?”

“Really.”

You laugh and fling your arms around him, knocking you both over, “Thank you! It’ll be the best date! You’ll see!”

Dogma just laughs and folds his arms around you, “I’m looking forward to it.” He replies, a warm smile on his face, “But I need you to get off of me.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” You scramble off of him and settle on the grass next to him as he sits back up. “What are you reading, anyway?”

“Want me to read to you?”

“Will you?”

“Yeah,” He flips back to the start of the book, “Get comfortable.”

You shift and drop your head to his shoulder, and as soon as you’re settled, he started reading.

And this, really, is all you ever wanted. Who cares if no one else understands. You certainly don’t.

#star wars #tcw #clone trooper dogma x reader #dogma x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #gn!reader fic #answered asks

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starboybutler · 2 days

Text

Lights up (Ch.2)

summary: gale goes on a coffee date with that sophomore boy.

word count: 4504

warnings: mentions of past abuse, alcoholism, kind of harassment from john, blowjobs (again)

notes: chapter two is here! kinda surprised with myself that i got it done so fast. dunno if i'll always be able to get a new chapter this quickly but i'll try! enjoy the chapter!

chaapter one | ao3 link

for as long as gale could remember, he was by his lonesome. at home, in class, in nature. he always found comfort in solitude– the way the silence would give him time to think about everything he had going on at the time. whether it was after a particularly hard day at school, or after his dad had yelled at him and called him words he would try not to repeat in his head.

he grew up on a farm in wyoming, vast and beautiful. they had plenty of animals as he grew up– horses, cows, chickens, goats– and gale would spend countless hours caring for them like they were human children. he remembered him momma telling him when he was younger to not get too attached to them, but he would never listen. he named, groomed, fed, and loved every animal that he could before his father inevitably sold or killed them.

it was like therapy for him. when it came to people, he was no good at communicating or getting along with them. he found making friends difficult compared to animals. people were complicated. they did things with no rhyme or reason and were needlessly cruel to fuel their own need to feel superior to others.gale was bullied- not too harshly, thankfully- but enough that he would sometimes tell his mom that he didn’t want to go to school that day. his mom, angel that she is, would let him stay at home, with the animals he loved so dearly.

his father was a brash man, to put it politely. he drank heavily and gambled more. ever since he was old enough to walk on his own, gale remembered seeing his dad stumble in through their front door, alcohol permeating the air around him as he exhaled heavily, angry at all the money he lost that night. his angry eyes would land on gale, burning holes into the boy as he clutched an empty beer bottle in his large fist, gritting his teeth and spitting out an intelligible swear.

sometimes he'd go to bed. other times, gale wouldn't be so lucky.

he would constantly belittle and chastise gale for hiding in his room at home instead off telling the kids who were teasing him off- but gale wasn’t that type of person. he always avoided conflict, out of a deep-rooted fear of becoming like his father someday.

as he got older, gale discovered certain things about himself that his father didn't particularly like. he began isolating gale– becoming harsher and more physical than before towards him whenever he would try to be himself. his poor mother did her best to support him, but she could only do so much. one night after gale’s father had beaten him down both physically and emotionally– she had come into his room and begged him to try and be who his father wanted him to- at least until he could move away for college.

his heart clenched that his own mother begged him for such a thing, but he knew it was the safest option. he didn't know if he could take many more beatings before his father decided to do something drastic.

he did what his mother said- became quiet and docile until his father was satisfied with what he saw.

gale never really let go of the act. he kept quiet and timid– hiding himself- and he never really knew why. maybe it was out of a lingering fear that he would turn a corner and see his father standing there, just waiting to lay his hands on him.

he sat in his math class, anxiously tap-tap-tapping his pen against the edge of the desk as the professor went over everything they spoke about for the day. he was filled with a nervous energy- and the fact that he could feel the reason for his nerves staring at the back of his head wasn't helping.

just why gale had agreed to go out to lunch with this random man in his class was beyond him– maybe it was because he reminded him of someone–, but there was no backing down now. it's not like he didn't want to– he was a handsome guy and all, but he would have liked to at least talk a bit more first. he knew nothing about him– other than his name. gale tried to soothe himself by saying they'd get to learn more about one another at their lunch ‘date’, but it didn't help much.

class was dismissed and gale began to pack up, biting at his bottom lip. he felt on edge, like any little thing could send him running out that door.

“heya, gale,”

a large hand on his shoulder, calloused thumb brushing against his sensitive neck ever so gently– like a faint breeze. he jumped, instinctively backing away from the foreign touch clumsily- almost tripping over his own feet.

there stood john, the hand that was just touching gale’s shoulder held up in mock surrender as he looked at the blonde with wide eyes.

“whoa there, should i have given ya more of a warning?” he jokes, stepping forward to close the gap gale had put between them. “didn't know you were so easily startled.”

gale laughed uneasily, taking another micro-step backwards to put just a bit more space between the two of them. did he always have to be so close? “i’m not. just…i dunno. nervous.”

“aw, nervous for our date, gale?” he laughed, slinging an arm around his shoulder, leaning into him with his body weight and almost making gale stumble over with the suddenness of it. “that’s cute.”

he smelled like cheap cologne, smoke, and beer. the scents on him were all too familiar to his father stumbling into the living room after a night at the casino.

“haha, yeah,” he mumbled, standing up and adjusting the strap on his shoulder, hiking his satchel back up to where it needed to be. “you ready to go?”

gale felt that unease in his stomach spreading out to the rest of his limbs like horrible black tendrils of smoke. john’s large hand was now grabbing at his slim waist as they walked out of the classroom, the other man babbling on and on about some party he went to last week, and how he drank some poor freshman under the table like it was nothing.

then, like a ton of bricks, it hit him. why he was so nervous. why he was so compelled to say yes to this date– why he felt like he couldn’t say no to john. it wasn't just because he was handsome and somewhat charming. his stomach was sinking as he dug his teeth into the skin of his cheek almost painfully.

john reminded him of his father.

—---------------------

they arrived at a small, student-run cafe on campus that gale liked to visit often. he stopped by when he could, buying a coffee and a little snack and taking a window seat to finish up some schoolwork.

they walked in, john still hanging off of him like a koala as they walked up to the counter, gale’s face pink, eyes affixed to the counter as he placed his usual order. he could feel different pairs of eyes on him as he stood there, the quiet blonde that only spoke to order his coffee suddenly with a loud-mouthed frat boy hanging off of him. he felt shame creeping up his spine like boiling water about to spill over the edge of a pot.

“what'dya recommend, gale?” john asked him, snapping him out of his spiraling thoughts.

“ah, i usually get something with a lot of caffeine,” gale blurts out, nervous energy beginning to show in little fits and starts. “keeps me awake so i can study at night.”

“You’re pretty big on school, huh?” john comments passively, making gale flush in a mix of hot embarrassment and shame. The comment hit a little too close to home after growing up and hearing the same thing from countless assholes in school growing up. “i’ll just get whatever he got. make it easy on ya,”

he gave the barista a wink, and he smiled back at john softly.

“alrighty then, that’ll be $10.59.”

gale pulled his wallet out of his pocket, handing it to the barista and glancing at john with a little anxious smile. god, he was really bad at trying to keep it together.

“you can go find a table for us. i’ll grab our drinks and meet you there.”

“you got it doll.” he crooned, giving him a wink and that million-dollar smile that made something bloom in gale’s stomach. He wasn’t one hundred percent sure if it was a good thing, yet, but he felt it, every time he saw those eyes crinkle up.

he turned to the barista quickly, leaning in a bit to whisper in case john was still in earshot. “is crosby here?”

“right here, gale,” a familiar voice sounded, turning to face him with two obnoxiously large iced coffees in his hands. “what’s up?

“i’m on a date,” gale blurted out, putting his head in his hands and running long fingers through blonde locks. “I hardly know the guy, but he gave me my glasses after i left ‘em behind in class, and–”

“okay, okay-” croz said, hastily handing off the coffees to the two concerned-looking students beside him. “so did he– did he force you on this date? do you want me to tell him off?” he asked, tone suddenly very serious.

gale hesitated. he wasn’t forced on this date, not in the slightest, but he just couldn’t shake the sinking feeling he had about being here. john reminded him so much of his father– he just felt like his intentions were less than pure with each passing second.

“no, don’t say anything,” he mumbled, rubbing at his temples. “jus’... keep an eye on us if you can? i just feel nervous about this whole thing. i’m not sure if i’m overthinking or if it’s actually the way he’s acting.”

“alright.” crosby says, patting gale on the shoulder firmly. “you just let me know. i’ll hop over this counter and kick ass.”

“we both know i can handle myself,” gale hums with a smile. “besides, those eyebags tell me that if you made any sudden moves you’d probably pass out.”

“yeah, well.” he stutters for a second, before his coworker comes to his rescue and hands him two identical coffee cups. “here’s your coffee. i’ll keep an eye on your date for you.”

“stop pulling all-nighters, croz,” gale scolds as he takes the cups in his hands, walking into the open part of the lobby and scanning the cafe for the brown-haired boy he came with.

he spotted john near a table in the corner by a window, staring at the passer-bys as he waited for gale to bring their drinks. for a brief moment, gale’s worries were gone as he took in how pretty john really was. curly brown locks, a strong jaw, straight nose, blue eyes and long eyelashes. he felt that strange warmness in his stomach again as he approached, tensing a bit as john’s eyes landed on him as he sat down.”

“that was pretty quick,” he hummed, taking the cup gale handed to him and smiling crookedly. “i see why you like this place,”

“yeah, i’ve never had to wait too long for a drink here,” gale laughs softly, his nerves creeping back up as he scooted his chair forward. “i mean, most drinks on the menu are pretty simple, so…”

“you know a lot about coffee?” john asks, taking a tentative sip from his scalding hot cup, hissing as it goes down. “wanna be a barista someday?”

gale actually chuckles a little at that. “ah, no, just… have a friend that knows a bit about it. shares menu secrets so that i can make ‘em back at my dorm if i want. i’m more into math….animals…stuff like that.”

“never understood people that actually like math, y’know.” john laughs, thumbing at the small opening of the lid of his cup. “was always my worst subject. i mean- i was never much of a school kid, but math really did me in.”

“ah, well math was always kinda fun for me.” gale began, feeling a little more at ease with the casual conversation john was making. “it was hard, yes, but that's what made it fun, you know? it's like– when you finally solve that equation that's been bothering you, you feel so good. like you could conquer anything. it's why i took up physics– much harder, made you really use your brain.”

“issat what your major is?”

“yep. i’m well on my way to getting a degree in physics– minor in education.” gale explains, fingers tracing along the sleeve that hugged his warm coffee cup. “i’d love to be a teacher one day. i know a lot of kids are apprehensive about math and other hard subjects like physics, but i wanna be the teacher that makes them enjoy subjects like that. an enthusiastic teacher can change everything for a kid.”

“mhm. all my teachers were assholes. didn't like me. ‘s why i skipped class all the time.”

“don't say that,” gale laughed, leaning in to take a sip from his coffee, which was hot enough to fog up his glasses. “i’m sure they liked you. it’s just hard being a teacher, sometimes. kids are a handful, y’know. which is why i’ll probably teach an older grade.”

“...so like….what is physics?” john asks suddenly, leaning back in his chair, strong arms crossed over his chest. “i mean i know what it is but like…what's it the study of?”

“it's basically the study of the nature and properties of matter and energy. a lot to do with the mathematics of movement, different types of energy, that type of thing.” he explains, leaning forward in his chair. “like, we’ll study how atoms and soundwaves work, do the math for force and inertia, focus on the mathematics of atoms– its all really nerdy stuff, but i find it fascinating. dunno why– maybe it's the fact that someone out there figured all of this out and shared his teachings, only for them to get built upon to the point we are today… i just love things like that.”

midway through his spiel, he noticed that john wasn’t exactly looking him in the eyes, which was fine. gale had trouble with eye contact sometimes– it wasn’t something he was too concerned about. then he realized john’s eyes were scanning him, up and down like a predator ready to pounce on a helpless little animal it spotted in the swaying grass.

His gaze would go from his eyes, to his lips, then to his hands, which were beginning to grip his coffee cup so tightly that he thought it would explode, and then to his chest, which prompted gale to cross his arms over his upper body protectively.

“enough about that– i’m sure you don’t wanna hear about the math behind force and motion,” he laughed, clearing his throat. “what are you majoring in?”

john blinked at him, eyes a little wide as a big hand scratched at the back of his neck. “well, shit. I guess i’m just majorin’ in general studies. i’m gonna be one hundred percent honest with you gale, i applied to college when i was high with my friend curt.”

gale paused. “really? and you got in?”

a soft laugh left bucky’s lips, eyes crinkling up as he took another small sip of his coffee. “yep. i was just as surprised as you. told my momma i’d apply just for the hell of it, not thinking i’d get in, but whaddya know?” a strand of hair fell into his face as he set his cup back onto the table, pink tongue darting out to lick at stray droplets of coffee that clung to his lips. gale felt his throat tighten, oddly.

“as for hobbies…i dunno. i drink, i party. typical frat boy stuff. i find just about any party on campus, head on in, drink until i can hardly recognize anyone– gets crazy. usually ends up at my dorm.”

gale flushes at the implications and grabs at his coffee cup as john continues.

“you ever been to a frat party?”

“no.” gale says simply, pressing his lips to the rim of his cup and worrying the plastic of the lid with his teeth. “never been much of a party person. i like when things are quiet.”

“i dunno, i feel like if you were at a party with someone you liked you’d really enjoy yourself. i know you said you don’t drink, but have you tried it at all?”

gale shifted in his seat, eyes affixed to the ground as that familiar, dark sinking feeling returned to the pit of his stomach. he didn’t like where this conversation was going at all.

“i…. i have, once. didn’t like it.” he says against the plastic lid. “said i’d never drink again.”

john’s thumb is brushing against his lower lip, now, eyes lidded and affixed to the way gale’s anxiously mouthing at his coffee cup. predatory, gale thinks, trying to avoid john’s gaze as he begins to speak again.

“knew a guy like that a few months ago,” he starts, eyes flashing with something dangerous. “straight edge, hated beer. took him out to a party and man- i’ve never seen someone drink so much. got real loose. we ended up in a room together and the rest was a total fuckin’ blur. still comes to my room to drink every once and a while. or… just to hang out, you know.”

their eyes met, blue-on-blue, dark and lustful on doe-ish and scared. gale suddenly very much wanted to be anywhere else but here, in this cafe. He should have went with his gut, trusted that little voice in his head telling him that this living embodiment of 2000s grunge was just trying to get into his pants. almost like he couldn’t stop himself, he shot up out of his seat, coffee in one hand and bag in the other, trying to hide the discomfort painted across his face.

he wasn't a prude– that's not what this was– he's just never positively thought about sex. mainly because he'd get weird compliments and looks as soon as he hit sixteen, which had kind of soured his whole idea of sex. he had always declined hookups and booty calls, leading to nasty words and nastier threats, but he did it for his safety. it was just the way it had to be.

he remembered his father’s words to him. no one wants to sleep with a goddamn–

“sorry, i have to go.” gale said firmly, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips. “i just remembered i have a test for another class tomorrow– you get it. we can reschedule.”

he’s backing out towards the door as he rambles out excuses, back hitting the door roughly. “i had fun, really. sorry.”

before john could even try to chase after him, he turned on his heel and walked briskly out of the cafe, hissing as the sun's rays hit his eyes. he felt like the world was blending together- a mix of all kinds of sickening colors that passed his watery eyes in a blur as he bulldozed his way to his dorm. he felt bile rising in his throat, burning and bitter- making the tears in his eyes well up more. he found shelter in a small alleyway nestled between buildings, dark and quiet. he felt his breathing slow a little bit.

no, no. don’t you dare fucking cry, gale. not over this– over him. he scolded himself, lips parted as he let out little puffs of air, trying to regulate his frantic breaths. his eyes scrunched shut, trying to fight back tears like he was a little kid again, standing before his father with his head hung low, fists clenched.

“c’mon, damn it. hit me back! i didn’t raise a bitch!”

and poor gale, he’d raise his fists again, not left with a choice, trembling like a leaf on an unsteady branch as he looked at his dad with tears running down his face. that same cheap beer smell was everywhere.

“oh, you wanna cry, huh? i’ll give you somethin’ to fuckin’ cry about!”

gale hasn’t shed a tear since that night. a deep, deep-rooted fear that if he did, everyone around him would dig into him and eat him alive was instilled in him after that night. he hasn’t cried since then, and he won’t cry now, not over some dickhead in a slipknot shirt.

he inhaled deeply, lungs expanding as he opened his eyes, hand running through his hair gently. his coffee had completely spilled onto the ground, puddling around his feet in a murky, dark brown pond.

what a waste of five dollars.

—---------------------

john didn’t come to class the following day, much to gale’s relief. he was able to focus and get some good notes taken without feeling his gaze on the back of his skull. it was rainy outside today, the clouds completely overcast the sun and drizzling rain drops over the fresh earth outside. gale felt hypnotized watching the way the water dripped down the windows, amplifying his calm.

his eyes remained affixed to the rain outside as he exited class, hands shoved into the pockets of his leather pants. he loved the rain. the smell, the clouds, the way it looked.

“hey.”

he froze in his steps, eyes slowly moving to gaze at the man in front of him. gale really thought he wouldn’t have to deal with him today. maybe he was actually worried about him? god, who fucking knows.

“john,” gale said evenly, straightening his back. “you weren’t in class today. wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“had to come check up on you after yesterday,” he shrugged, leaning against the wall. “left me hangin’. what happened?”

gale set his jaw, taking deep, even breaths. keep it together. “had a test to study for, like i said. sorry if i seemed shaken up or anything, but it was a big test.”

“big test…” john repeated, tongue running across his lips. “yeah, i get it.” he shrugged, smiling crookedly. “must be tired from all that studying. you free tonight at all? you could come back to my dorm, hang out for a bit.”

gale flushed, partly out of anger, and partly because he was flustered. jesus, this guy just didn’t know when to fucking quit, huh?

“nah, i’ve got plans tonight, actually.” gale mutters, averting his gaze. “work.”

“you work on campus?”

“off campus, actually,” he said curtly, checking his watch. “actually gotta get going soon, or i’ll be late. maybe another time.”

he didn’t even wait for a response, because it would probably just be john asking when he was off, or if he was free tomorrow– and he didn’t feel like dealing with it. all of his anxieties towards him were starting to turn into annoyance. he still felt uneasy around him, but seeing as he hasn’t actually tried to harm and/or force himself onto gale, he felt like he had a bit more wiggle room to talk back. And if he did try something, then…

whatever. he didn’t need to think about him right now.

—---------------------

“he’s bein’ so fucking difficult, curt.” john huffs, pacing between their beds like a caged animal. “he’s got mood swings like a goddamn chick– i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing wrong!”

john kicks a stray can of beer across the room, before flopping onto curt’s bed like a kid having a tantrum. “he makes me feel like a goddamn creep. like– whenever i get close, he steps back- or when i touch him he looks for an excuse to get away from me.”

“maybe he jus’ doesn’t like being touched,” curt shrugs, laying down by john’s head and playing with a few strands of his loose hair. “you literally told me that you might have to play it slow with him- why’re you gettin’ all impatient?”

“what was it you said? you wanna devour him? that’s why.” he sighs. “thought i’d be able to control myself to play it slow, but goddamn, curt, he’s gorgeous. absolutely beautiful. i jus’ don’t get why he has to be so uptight and shit.”

“damn, maybe you are a creep.” the shorter man teases, making john groan and press his palms to his eyes. “i’m just jokin’, bucky, jesus!” he sighs, fingers tangling in his hair.

“i’m jus’ over it at this point, curtie. why can’t i just get my dick wet with a cute blonde? and what do i do? back off? come on stronger? why’s it so hard to get laid nowadays?”

amid his self-pitying rant, curt had sunk to his knees between john’s legs, small hands on large thighs as he laid his cheek against the warm skin.

“i know. life is soooo hard for such a pretty boy like you, isn’t it,” he teases, hand tracing upwards until it meets with the semi-hardness of bucky’s cock. “why don’t i help you feel better, hm?”

john hissed at the touch, hips rising into the warmth of curt’s palm as his other free hand pulled him from the confines of his shorts. “fuck. you always know how to cheer me up.”

curt just smiled, full of dimples, before taking john in his mouth with practiced ease. he knew bucky and his cock all too well– so it wasn’t hard to get him going. he ran his tongue along the bottom, savoring the salty-musky taste of precum on his tongue as he swallowed him down with eagerness. it wasn’t long before john’s loud grunts picked up in volume, becoming breathier as he reached his peak, spilling down curt’s throat for the second time that week.

curt pulled off, giving him one last cruel lick before standing and smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt. “okay, now get up. we’ve got a party to go to.”

“goddamn, gimmie a minute to catch my breath,” john huffed, sitting up and tucking himself back into his shorts. “you just sucked my soul out. can’t we just stay in?”

“as much as i’d love to give you your post-blowjob cuddles, this party is literally in the next building over and has this dude from history there that i’ve got my eye on. get your ass up.”

bucky sighed deeply, standing on wobbly legs and placing a large hand in curt’s already messy hair. “you’re a pain in my ass. you’re soooo lucky i love you.”

john swears he sees curt go a little pink at that- but he ignores it as the shorter man leads them out of the door.”

“yeah, i know.”

taglist: @mooodyblue @lauvmyself @kaiistheguy @slowsweetlove

#masters of the air #mota #college au #buck x bucky #clegan #curtbucky #curtbuckygale #masters of the air fanfic #motaedit #john egan #gale cleven #curtis biddick #lights up

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