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chipper9906 · 2 years

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The First... Chapter 1: The First... Meeting

Pairings: Dylan Lenivy/Ryan Erzahler

Chapter Word Count: 3,635

Status: Multi-Chapter - In Progress (1/?)

Summary:

“Look, I get it. It’s hot, and you wanna cool down, right? But as much as we like to have fun here, we have to realize the dangers, okay? You’d be surprised how easy it is to…”

Something moving on the other side of the fence catches Dylan’s eye — and attention. He turns his head towards it, seeing that—

Jesus Christ, that dude was gorgeous.

* * *

A continuation/sequel of my fic 'Truth or Dare 2.0', in the form of a collection of oneshots of 'First' moments in Ryan and Dylan's relationship, set after the events of 'The Quarry'.

Link To Fic

Click Below To Keep Reading

Author Notes:

Okay, okay, I know I said "set after the events of 'The Quarry' ", but I HAD to expand on the 'pool scene meeting' I mentioned in 'Truth or Dare 2.0', coz honestly it seemed like a crime not to. So... Prequel oneshot first lol.

* * *

Goddamn summer.

It's only just begun and he's already done with it. It wasn't even this hot yesterday, Dylan's sure of it. But apparently, now the sun is deciding to be a massive dick and do its best to make everyone melt on the first day of camp. It's hard enough keeping track of a bunch of over-excited kids making their arrival to camp; adding unbearable levels of heat to the mix is just a recipe for disaster.

Not even the shade of the trees overhead was doing much to cool him down as he made his way down the path, the uphill climb towards the cabins only worsening the amount of sweat pouring out of him. On the bright side, he wasn't yet leading all the kids toward their five-star accommodations. Nope, it was just him, the box of stuff Mr. H asked him to store in the radio hut, and what he's pretty sure is about seventy-five percent of his body's water leaking onto the ground as he goes.

" 'Oh hey, can you go trek out in ninety-degree heat to a cabin with no air conditioning to store some old and rusting tools while we stay in the nice cool lodge?' " Dylan readjusted his sweaty grip on the box before it could potentially slip out of his hands. At this rate, all his sweat is gonna turn the cardboard into mush… " 'Oh sure, no problem! I'm sure, uh… uh—'" Dammit, what was her name? She told him literally five minutes ago, something like… "Kaitlyn! 'I'm sure Kaitlyn will LOVE testing out her first-aid abilities when you find me passed out, face down in this stupid box…'"

Dylan peeks into the contents of the box as he walked. Every year Mr. H wanted to store more and more stuff in the radio hut… It won't be long before it becomes a storage hut with a radio, instead of a radio hut with a bunch of crap lying about. Well… not crap, he knows all that stuff has got its uses, but still. What use does the owner of a summer camp have for a chainsaw, anyway? He's fairly certain that chopping down trees wasn't one of the activities offered on the curriculum this year…

Dylan crests the top of the hill (Thank Jesus—), trying his best to pretend he wasn't out of breath despite the fact that no one was around to judge him. He crosses over the small bridge, glancing right towards the direction of the radio hut, and that's when he hears it.

Yup… That was definitely the delighted 'we're doing something we shouldn't be' laughter of children. Man, he's glad it's daytime, because that sound in the middle of the night when it's pitch black would either have him swinging his fists wildly or screaming. Perhaps even both. At the same time, most likely. Not that he encourages violence against children, of course. But… y'know. Self-preservation and all that.

The laughter was coming from right up ahead, along with the subtle sounds of splashing water. Dylan peers closer at the pool house, looking past the fencing wrapped around the pool, and... yep, suspicion confirmed. He could just make out a few heads bobbing about in the water, making some attempt to stay quiet, but failing miserably as they giggle unabashedly and splash water at one another. Dylan sighed, dropping the box down next to the bridge with a groan. Alright, time to be a responsible counselor he guessed…

Even if he thought the kids had the right idea on how to beat this heat…

…And the non-responsible part of him — which was a lot of him — wanted to jump in that pool, too…

He had hoped that stepping into the pool house would provide some cooling relief, but nope — the building was practically an oven. Dylan caught the curse on the tip of his tongue as the door softly shut behind him, reminding himself that there were kids with keen ears just on the other side. He headed straight towards the towels, grabbing a stack of them before heading back out towards the pool.

The kids still hadn't noticed him, even as he approached the fencing, too wrapped up in… being kids, having fun in the water. He knew this was a hundred percent something he'd do as a camper if it was ever this hot, but unfortunately, he's not a camper anymore. Now he's gotta do some boring adult shit and make sure Chris's summer camp doesn't go out of business day one into the season because he let a bunch of kids drown.

He ducks through the hole in the fence that Chris swore he would get patched soon, and still the kids don't notice him. He puts the towels down on the bench attached to the side of the pool house, leaning his shoulder against the brick wall, arms loosely folded and leg crossed over the other as he waits for them to become aware of his presence. "Having fun?"

As expected, the kids squeal at the sound of his voice, panicked at being caught. He chuckles at the response, which seems to put the kids at ease a little bit. "You know, if you wanna try and sneak away to do stuff you're not supposed to, you really gotta get better at the whole 'keeping an eye out thing'."

"Sorry, Mr. Dylan…" One of the kids mumbles, all of them wearing matching expressions of guilt as they paddle in place.

"Ugh, no 'Mr', just Dylan," Dylan tells them, his exaggerated scrunched-up face of disgust getting a few giggles from some of the kids. He pushes himself off the wall, leisurely strolling up to the poolside where the kids were closest. "Look, I get it. It's hot, and you wanna cool down, right? But as much as we like to have fun here, we have to realize the dangers, okay? You'd be surprised how easy it is to…"

Something moving on the other side of the fence catches Dylan's eye — and attention. He turns his head towards it, seeing that—

Jesus Christ, that dude was gorgeous.

Seriously, it was unfair how attractive this guy was. He didn't even know who the hell he was; he'd definitely have remembered seeing him in orientation. Or speaking to him. God, he wondered if his voice sounded as good as he looked… That might just kill him.

Dylan could just about see he had a pair of earphones in his ears, connected to what he didn't know since Chris had already taken away their phones this morning. Then again, if the guy wasn't at orientation, maybe he didn't get a chance to. He was walking along like the heat wasn't bothering him in the slightest, nor the heavy weight of what looked to be way too many life jackets he was balancing in his arms. The only indicator that the heat of the day was affecting him was by the sheen of sweat coating his skin, and dammit, he even made that look good! Now that was just unfair. No one should look good covered in sweat, but here was this guy walking around looking like an oiled-up Greek God or something—

Dylan's next step meets air instead of the floor, which is a little confusing, to say the least. But then it very quickly meets water after, and the reality of how much of a big fucking idiot he is sinks in at the same time his entire body sinks to the bottom of the pool.

Whelp… This was embarrassing. There's no way the kids didn't see that, given that they had been watching him the entire walk over to the poolside. Probably meant they had seen him gaping at 'Mr. Unreasonably Hot' too before his dumb-ass tumbled over into the water. He could only hope that 'Mr. Unreasonably Hot' didn't see him falling in, too. Maybe he should stay down here and drown to save himself from the coming shame. It wasn't exactly like he could figure out a way to joke out of this situation—

Wait.

Maybe there was.

You know what, scratch his previous statements. He's not an idiot.

He's a genius.

Dylan kicks off the bottom of the pool, breaching the surface with a dramatic gasp for air, making exaggerated movements as he smacks at the water around him. "Oh no! What a fool I am! And with no lifeguard to help me?! Whatever will I do!"

The kids burst into a fit of giggles at his acting, watching with rapt attention as he 'struggles' over to the side of the pool. "If only I hadn't entered the pool by myself! If only I had made sure there was someone responsible for my safety watching over me! Now I must sit with the consequences of my actions, and face almost certain death! Oh, woe is me, left to drown when there's so much life ahead of—"

The sound of footsteps pounding toward them stops Dylan mid monologue, turning himself around to see who was coming. To his surprise — and yep, there was that embarrassment — it seemed that Mr. Unreasonably Hot had indeed noticed him falling in the pool. He wasn't entirely sure how given he had earphones in. Then again, he was giving his little lesson to the kids at a fairly loud volume. Along with all that splashing…

Yeah, okay, he would have had to be pretty oblivious not to notice.

The guy was racing towards him, life jackets discarded to the ground as he leaps through the hole in the fence, getting to what he perceived as an actual emergency as quick as he possibly could. It was… kind of touching actually that this guy who has no idea who he is was outright sprinting to his aid.

"Holy—" The guy skids to a stop at the edge of the pool, stopping himself from swearing just in time, and dammit, his voice did sound as good as he looked! "I heard- You just fell in, and-" The guy stumbles over his words, slightly out of breath from the impromptu run. "Are you okay?"

Dylan smiles up at his concerned face, easily swimming in place. "All good, man. Was just teaching these little rebels here about the dangers of swimming unattended."

The guy glances over to where the kids were still huddled together, some of the concern they were feeling about being in trouble returning now there were two counselors here. "Oh, you were…" The guy sighs, running a hand across his face. "Jesus, I thought you were drowning…"

"Sorry… Didn't mean to scare you," Dylan apologizes. The guy can only shake his head, another soft sigh kicking out of him. He bends down, anchoring himself in place and holding out a hand to Dylan. Dylan grabs hold, making sure to lean most of his weight into the side of the pool as the guy pulls him up, not wanting to be the asshole that drags the person trying to help into the pool with you.

"Alright, come on—" The guy calls to the kids still in the pool, hand still clasped with Dylan's as he gets to his feet. "Aren't you guys supposed to be back in the lodge for orientation?"

'Could say the same for you' Dylan thinks.

"Yeah…" The kids don't exactly hide their feelings on the matter, looking rather miserable as they make their way to the ladder of the pool. The guy finally (by which Dylan means regrettably) drops Dylan's hand, having spotted the towels Dylan had got for them. He heads over to them, grabbing the entire stack and handing them out to the kids as they unenthusiastically skulk over to him.

"Let me guess, you guys were already friends before you got here, huh?" Dylan asks.

"Uh-huh," one of the kid's answers, voice muffled by the towel he had thrown over his entire body, pulling off a very convincing ghost costume.

"Thought so. And yeah, I know, you just wanna get to camp and have fun with your friends, right? But the fun part about camp is making friends! Okay? All those other little dudes back at the lodge right now aren't just gonna be your fellow campers, but future friends you don't even know about yet. How cool is that!"

"But… it's hot," one of the kids whines.

"Yeah… Okay, yeah, it's hot," Dylan concedes. "But—"

"There'll be plenty of time to go swimming throughout summer." The guy jumps in. "Believe me, I used to come here as a camper all the time. In fact, you'll even get to go out to the lake, too."

That seemed to do the trick, the kid's disappointed faces lighting up with excitement. "We will?!"

"Yup. It's literally my job — to take you guys out sailing."

"See? Plenty of cool and refreshing fun to be had, and with a bunch of new friends you'll get to meet once you get back to the lodge!" Dylan adds, keeping his voice as upbeat and overly-enthusiastic as possible. "Now, get in that pool house and go change before I actually drown you."

Thankfully, the kids laugh at his fake threat, shrill and over-excited voices trailing off as their feet pitter-patter over to the door of the pool house. The two of them watch as the kids go, making sure they all filed into the pool house. They both look back at each other at the same time, and — oops, Dylan didn't realize they were standing that close together. He awkwardly clears his throat, taking a little step back to get out of the poor dude's personal space. "So, uh… You're the sailing instructor?"

"Yep," Mr. Unreasonably Hot - No, Mr. Sailing Instructor - wait, he's sure he saw the guy's name in the information booklet Chris sent out.

"Yeah, uh… You're Ryan, right?" Dylan holds out a hand for a handshake, and oh God, please let him have guessed right, please—

"Correct again," Ryan says with a hint of a smile, grabbing hold of Dylan's hand once again and giving it a shake. "Should I be concerned you knew my name without me telling you…?"

"Maybe," Dylan replies with a sinister smile. "You're very easy to stalk with those earphones in."

The handshake goes still. "Uh…"

"I'm just kidding," Dylan assures him, letting go of Ryan's hand. "Your name was in the booklet thingy Mr.H gave us, remember? 'Ryan the Sailing Instructor'."

"Oh, right. I, uh… I don't know what you do other than apparently nearly drowning yourself to… teach kids a lesson?"

Dylan snorts. "Nah, that's just my side hustle, y'know? All part of the counselor experience, I guess… I'm in charge of that beauty over there—" Dylan gestures with his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the radio hut.

"The… radio…?" Ryan guesses, confusion briefly written across his face before brightening with his realization. "Oh! I guess that makes you Dylan."

"Ding, ding ding!" Dylan places a hand on his chest. "Meet DJ Dylan: The sultry voice you'll be waking up to every morning."

"Right, right, the- uh… radio announcements and all that. That's your role, then?"

"Sure is. Along with a bunch of other stuff I'm sure, since two of the counselors didn't show up…"

"Yeah, that's… Not great." Ryan pauses, looking Dylan up and down — particularly at the way he was still dripping. "Uh, do you want me to like… get you a towel…?"

"Nah, it's cool," Dylan waves him off. "Literally. You have no idea how much cooler I am now. I'll just drip dry." Dylan follows this by shaking his drenched mop of hair side to side. Ryan tries to turn away to avoid the spray of droplets that come from it, but his efforts prove fruitless.

"Dude…" Ryan protests weakly, arms stretched out to the side as he looks down at his water-speckled shirt.

"Oh, shoot…" Dylan says, tone not at all apologetic. "I'd say I'm sorry, but technically you should be thanking me for cooling you off."

"I'd… rather cool off in a way that doesn't make me smell like chlorine. But… thanks?"

"You are more than welcome," Dylan says, dipping his head in a mini bow. "So, uh… How come I didn't see you in orientation?" Dylan places his hands on his hips, his ask getting a questioning eyebrow raise from Ryan. "Or… didn't meet you, at least."

"Oh, no, I was - um…" Ryan trails off, gesturing with a thumb behind his back as he glances back in the direction of the lodge. "I wasn't at orientation."

"Oh. Cool, that… answers my question. Very informative, thank you, Ryan."

Ryan huffs, glancing away to hide the subtle smile on his face. "Yeah, uh… I needed to talk to Mr. H before the kids arrived, and he sent me out to go fetch some of the life jackets he left stored in one of the cabins last year, so…"

"So… you were skipping orientation?"

"No—"

"But you weren't there?"

"Well, yeah, but…" Ryan sighs, readying himself for this explanation. "Sometimes meeting so many people at once is kind of… overwhelming? It's not that I don't want to meet you guys, but… I'd prefer to do it in my own time. Y'know… gradually."

"Hey, I get it," Dylan holds his hands up. "Honestly, I think you had the better idea. Meet your co-workers one by one… Maybe rescue one from drowning in the pool…?"

Ryan snorts, looking as surprised at his own snort as Dylan was to hear it. He coughs to cover it, hiding behind his clenched fist. "Uh, yeah… I mean, I'll definitely remember you after this."

"If anything, I am a memorable person," Dylan gloats. "And I'm sure I'll remember the guy who came to my rescue."

"Hard to forget, I'm sure," Ryan played along. His eyes slid over to the pool house, a little unsettled by the uncharacteristic silence from the kids inside. "We should probably…" Ryan flops his hand up to point towards the pool house. "Get them ready to head back to the lodge."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Doubt they know how to get back by themselves on the first day…" Dylan agrees, the two of them beginning a slow walk towards the front of the pool house. Hopefully, Ryan won't have noticed the way his voice had lost some of its brightness, perhaps a little disappointed that their conversation was coming to an end. Dylan looks over to the bridge where he had left his box, chewing thoughtfully on his lip. "Hey, uh… Any idea where I can quickly store a box full of rusty tools and a chainsaw where the kids won't get their hands on it? Probably wouldn't be too responsible of me to leave it laying about while I get the kids back."

"Uh… No. But don't worry, man, I'll… I'll get the kids back to the lodge," Ryan offers, both of them coming to a stop just outside the doors of the pool house.

Dylan's brow shoots up at the offer. "You sure?"

"Yeah, it's cool. I was headed down towards the lake anyway, so I can drop off the kids at the lodge on the way back."

Dylan smiles brightly at Ryan, his smile seemingly proving to be infectious as he gets the first real pull of a smile at Ryan's lips that he's seen — and not attempted to hide. "Sweet! Man, first coming to my rescue and now offering to take a bunch of rebellious kids off my hand?" Dylan walks back as he speaks, holding a hand over his chest for dramatic effect. "Man after my own heart, Ryan."

Ryan hums in a way of both acknowledgment and also in a way that sounded a lot like 'ha, ha, real funny', watching Dylan and his unwavering grin as he goes. Dylan quickly snatches up the box from the ground, turning back to Ryan. "I'll be seeing you around, Ryan," he says, balancing the box in one hand whilst giving Ryan a mock salute, heading back down the path in the direction of the radio hut.

"Just… Maybe not drowning next time?" Ryan calls after him as he goes.

Dylan spins around to face Ryan, teeth gleaming in the sun as he all but skips backward. "Hmm, I dunno… Maybe I'll go for a 'dangerous' swim in the lake… Have our camp's sexy sailing instructor come save me again." Dylan throws in a wink for good measure, turning back around to face where he was walking before he could get a chance to see Ryan's reaction.

The kids apparently had terrible timing and had exited the pool house just in time to hear that last comment. If Ryan said anything in response, Dylan wasn't able to hear it over the chorus of enthusiastic, "Oooooo's!" of the kids, quickly followed by a chorus of, "Mr. Dylan and Mr. Ryan, sitting in a tree! K - I - S - S—"

"Alright, alright, knock it off…" Ryan's grumble in response only gets more laughter from the kids. Dylan could just about hold in his own laughter at the response, not able to see the way Ryan's eyes followed him the whole way up to the radio hut.

It was only once the door of the hut had swung shut behind him and he had carefully put the box down that he glanced out of the window back in the direction of the pool house. He couldn't help but smile softly to himself at the sight of poor Ryan trying his best to pick the life jackets back up whilst a group of children flock around him, all vying for his attention.

Two whole months of summer camp, huh?

Maybe this would be more fun than he thought…

#dylan/ryan #ryan x dylan #drylan #radioheads #dylan x ryan #The Quarry #the quarry game #dylan lenivy #ryan erzahler #fluff #fluff and humor #occasional angst #basically a timeline of their relationship

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blackjack-15 · 3 years

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The Weight of Living — Thoughts on: The Deadly Device (DED)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN, HAU, RAN, WAC, TOT, SAW, CAP, ASH, TMB

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. For this meta, like TMB, there will be an extra section entitled “The Theme” between The Mystery and The Suspects.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with my list of previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: DED, TMB; brief mentions of FIN, SSH, and ICE; brief mention of Iron Man (2008).

The Intro:

First off, this meta was supposed to be uploaded well over a week ago, and I apologize; life and health kind of got in the way, but it should be more constant for these last 3 metas.

I hope.

Like I mentioned with the last meta, this will be kind of a companion/two-piece meta with TMB. Where TMB focused on the effects of the dead on the living, DED instead focuses on the living’s effects on the dead — the dead in this case being Niko Jovic, of course. Let’s dive into that, shall we?

Just like how everything in TMB was dead, everything (other than Niko, rest in peace) in the lab is alive. The lab is full of people, of research — “living knowledge” in other words — of live wires and electricity, and is constantly growing and changing, just like a living organism does. With all this life present, the game is mostly concerned with how the living affect Niko.

What’s left of Niko after his death is his legacy — his work, his personality, his relationships (or lack thereof) with others, and it’s fascinating to see how our characters deal with and affect that. Grey is dedicating to curating Niko’s legacy (at Niko’s request, it should be noted), Ryan lives in awe of it, and Mason and Ellie are more pragmatic, wanting to use his legacy and work to improve their own lives. Victor, on the other hand, wants Niko’s legacy all to himself — to effectively erase it, in other words, which is another marker of him being our out-and-out villain.

Niko was divisive in life, and is even more so in death — no one can quite say exactly who he was. A jerk, a total scientist, someone who needed caring for, naïve, a useful tool — all of these were how people thought of him, and all of these were a part of who he was. In the end, it’s the efforts of the living that kill Niko — Ryan’s engineering, Ellie and Mason’s lack of concern, Grey’s reticence to get involved, and Victor’s machinations – along with his own secrecy and feeling of being apart from the world — or dead to it, more appropriately.

Stepping back from our characters and the weight of the living for a bit, let’s talk about the other thing that really makes DED stand out not only as a game but specifically as a Nancy Drew game — that is, its design in being a game that subverts the Nancy Drew formula at every turn.

There are a few obvious ones, like a phone character turning to a real-life suspect (rather than the other way around, like in TMB and ICE, or in any other game, where phone characters are Above Suspicion), the person hiring Nancy actually being the baddie, and Nancy having her safe places removed throughout the game, rather than crossing off locations where Bad Things can happen, but the more interesting ones are a little more subtle.

Our suspects provide a few more subversions — for example, our ‘meanest’ characters (Mason and Gray) are neither our explicit Good Guys or our definite Bad Guys, as often tends to be the case in Nancy Drew games. We also have suspects who hate each other openly revealed to be working together towards a common goal, which is a nice twist on the Warring Suspects trope that we see in quite a few games (ICE, FIN, SSH, etc.).

Finally, the structure of the mystery gives us our last two subversions. Instead of our normal Nancy Drew status quo where the characters are simple but their motivations end up being surprising/hidden/secret, we here have a straightforward motive — remove Niko to get his stuff — and our characters are the part that’s not straightforward, with each of them having warring traits within themselves that contribute to the fog surrounding the mystery.

Our villain also fails in this game through the cover-up, not through the crime. Normally, there’s a mistake that the culprit makes during the committing of a crime that Nancy finds evidence of later — a dropped business card, etc. — but in this case, it’s really only the cover up that implicates Victor at all, and he would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for, well, himself.

These subversions wouldn’t have been possible 10 or 15 games ago, and it’s a mark of how far the games have come that a game can be dedicated to subverting the usual formula and do it with such panache — and make a great game out of it, besides.

The Title:

As a title, The Deadly Device is pretty solid, if lacking a bit of flash. It gives us our method of murder and the academic ‘scope’ (i.e., science/engineering) that we’re playing in for this game, and tells us our crime — can’t be a deadly device without someone ending up, you know, dead — but doesn’t do a lot outside of that and hinting that the dead as a thematic element will have some role to play.

The reason the title is solid, however, rather than lacking, is that there’s not much else to call it that’s quite as well-fit to the game. It pulls (in a matter of speaking) from two Nancy Drew stories, The Crime Lab Case — which, as a title, yawn — and In and Out of Love, a story from the Nancy-at-college era that tried to be Hotter and Sexier than the previous books, but just ended up being a bit ridiculous. Neither one of those titles would have been any better — they would have been significantly worse, honestly, so The Deadly Device will stand as a good, solid effort for a great game.

The Mystery:

Disaster has struck at Technology of Tomorrow Today, a research lab in snowy Colorado: the lead scientist, a man named Niko Jovic, has been discovered dead in the Tesla Coil lab of electrocution. Months later, the case has gone cold, so owner Victor Losset decides to take matters into his own hands and hires Nancy to find his employee’s killer — not that there’s any doubt in his mind that Ryan Kilpatrick, the engineer who built the coil that killed Niko, is responsible.

When Nancy arrives on-scene and undercover, however, things aren’t quite as cut and dry as Victor would have her believe. It seems that everyone at the lab has means, motive, and opportunity — and whoever killed Niko doesn’t have any qualms about killing a nosy detective to cover up their crime…

Like with TMB, DED isn’t that interested in obscuring its bad guy to a “gotcha!” moment at the very end of the game. Instead, it’s largely concerned with putting disparate personalities under a huge amount of pressure and seeing what results. No one at the lab is super fond of anyone else who works there, nor of their superiors or employer(s), and all have the equipment and the intelligence to make use of the equipment to deadly ends.

Also like TMB, the crime has already been committed or begun, and it’s not Nancy’s job to prevent it — nothing is going to bring Niko back, after all — but to put together the post-mortem pieces and discover what really happened in the past, and the effect that the living have on the dead. It’s a thematic sort of conflict, and it really helps to elevate the game past “fun science mystery”. And speaking of thematic resonance in this game…

The Theme:

As we discussed last time, TMB was a game about fear — fear of death, of responsibility, of ignominy, of failure, etc. Being its sister game, DED is focused on the opposite of fear: acceptance. Instead of failure, responsibility, and other ever-present fears, DED is about the acceptance of the good, the bad, of yourself, and what others will do with your work and legacy once you’re gone.

In other words, DED is a game most concerned, thematically speaking, with certainty and resolve, rather than fear.

One of the biggest thematic elements in the game that proves this point is the presence of Niko’s recorded diaries. Not only does this feature some excellent voice acting by Josh Crandall, but it also gives a dead character the chance to discuss his motivations, his considerations, and — importantly — his sense of his impending death.

At no point does Niko dissolve into hysterics or even palpable fear; he simply accepts that there are consequences for both his and others’ actions, and that there are people in the world who believe the opposite of what he believes in — and are willing to kill for it.

Niko was a man who personified resolve and acceptance to a fault — had he informed others that his life was in danger, Victor would have had a much harder time killing him — but was also jealous of those who didn’t have to or have the capacity to have that kind of acceptance:

“I see why Tesla liked his pigeons. They fly only where they’re directed, and never question the effect the beating of their wings will have on the skies and the world below.”

The lack of acceptance in our villain is actually what leads to his downfall. The case has gone cold, and Victor is, legally speaking, off the hook — but he can’t accept that he’s gotten away with it, and instead decides to push it one step too far by hiring a detective. Had he not hired anyone, he would have been free and clear for the rest of his life — if the police weren’t able to find anything, the chances of them reopening the cold case are extremely slim — but instead Victor couldn’t accept it, and so hired the instrument of his own demise.

Every suspect has their own resolve in this game, and it’s that facet of their personalities that gives Nancy such a hard time at first, because none of that resolve includes answering the questions of a pesky investigator.

The Suspects:

First off is Obadiah Stane Victor Lossett, Nancy’s boss, owner of Technology of Tomorrow Today, and super evil killer of scientists who piss him off and prevent him from making oodles of money.

Like I mentioned above in “The Mystery”, the game isn’t so much concerned with obscuring Victor’s role as the bad guy. It’s a lovely moment when he shows up, changing from phone to real-life character (and suspect) — it’s in fact one of my favorite moments in the series, and I’ve spoken about it before in my list of the top 5 twists/surprising moments in the series — but it’s not a surprise that he’s involved in Niko’s death.

Victor fulfills the subversion of the formula that DED plays with a while also telling the correct story and theme for the game: he’s a man who took advantage of others for his own personal gain, and so everything he has is taken from him — including his notoriety — because of his lack of acceptance of the world.

“The world fondly remembers those who always give, and soon forgets those who only take.”

Next on the list is Ryan Kilpatrick, Victor’s favored patsy suspect and technical engineer at TTT. Energetic and quirky to (in my opinion) a fault, Ryan warned Niko several times that the Tesla coil would kill him, and then did exactly what he wanted her to do anyway.

To be fair to the girl, she was definitely in love with him, albeit a love more based on pity than on straight-out affection. “He had no one else in the world looking after him”, anyone?

Ryan only makes sense in a world where Niko was killed in the way that it appears first: by a simple malfunction in the Tesla Coil. Because Ryan built it, she would be legally responsible for his death, even though he was her boss when he told her to build it that way. It would be a simple, easy answer, and one that would have been totally thematically opposite of the story the game was telling, which makes her the perfect “preferred” suspect for Victor’s ruse.

Our two research assistants are next for consideration, so let’s start with Ellie York, our night-shift assistant who switched in order to avoid her coworker. A Good Southern Girl, Ellie is not above talking smack with a pretense of politeness and has a rather sinister motive up her sleeve.

Despite the fact that all research done at a lab is property of the lab, she (and Mason) decides that Isn’t Fair and tries to shop around their research to the highest bidder in an attempt to make enough money to pay off her debts.

The fact that she’s selling research that isn’t wholly done by her or Mason when she’s mad that her research is being (contractually and legally) used by someone else does rather put a damper on her ‘righteous anger’, doesn’t it.

As a villain, Ellie would have had to be a pair with Mason, which would have been interesting and a parallel to TMB, but just wouldn’t have told the story that DED wanted to tell. It would have been a story about backbiting and jealousy within a workplace, and thus would have lost its resonance with the historical backstory and with who Niko was as a person. As the victim makes the murder, Ellie (or Mason, or and Mason) would have been a poor choice.

Mason Quinto works the day shift and is far more neurotic than his night-shift companion, though just as guilty of attempting to sell research. He prefers his space neat and orderly, and gets quite steamed when Ellie messes it up to piss him off.

Yeah, there’s no way those two don’t end up in bed when they’re drunk. Honestly.

While the more ‘scientist’-like and nerdy of the two assistants, Mason is, in a refreshing change from normal tropes, also the more maverick of the two, running away with Niko’s work after the murder is solved and is only found at an expo by Gray a bit later, where a fight erupts until Mason comes back to work with Gray and Ellie.

He can also turn into a supervillain in a second chance, which is awesome.

Like I said above with Ellie, the only way Mason makes sense as the villain is to be a pair with Ellie, but it just isn’t the right story, thematically speaking. Mason (and Ellie) are a great example of how everyone in DED is guilty of something, whether they think they’re justified or not, and how putting these kind of people in a pressure cooker and turning it on only leads to disaster, sooner or later.

The last still-living member of our cast is Gray Cortright, security guard and ex-theoretical physicist, along with being probably Niko’s only friend — for a certain value of ‘friend’, it should be noted. Gray used to be the “smart one” until he went through what is basically a nervous breakdown due to his knowledge of theoretical physics and never quite recovered.

I’ll note that Gray would have been a more obvious choice for the early Nancy Drew games; a friendship gone wrong, a slightly “crazy” villain — the pieces are there. But because DED subverts the Classic Formula, Gray is instead probably the only person fully on Niko’s side — no tricks, no ulterior motives, no nothing. He’s exactly what he presents himself to be: gruff, grumpy, unkind, and not even close to a murderer (except, perhaps, where Mason is involved).

Let’s finish off our roll call with Niko Jovic, our murder victim and one of two foils for Nancy in this game. Niko was “100% a scientist”, interested most in the free use and free sharing of technological and scientific advancement, and less interested in developing technology to harm others.

This didn’t make him very popular with those who wanted to harm others, funnily enough.

It’s important that our victim in this case foils Nancy, because this is a game about (as we’ve discussed) acceptance and consequences. The consequence of Niko not paying attention to the fact that other people in the world are not like him was that there was an opening for a bad man to kill him. It’s not Niko’s fault that he was killed, but neither was he unaware that it was coming. He’s described as a ‘dead brilliant jerk madman’, and there’s a lot of truth in that; those who ultimately do good things and work hard are not always good or kind or nice themselves.

And yes, this is how he relates to Nancy. Nancy, like Niko, is a person who rather thinks what most of us would call “people skills” or “kindness” get in the way of the most important thing: solving puzzles and figuring things out. Both of them make the world better through their work, but honestly speaking, that’s not their ultimate aim. They’re not working directly to improve the world, they’re working for knowledge and to solve the puzzle.

In other words, they’re investigators, not philanthropists. And often (ultimately, for Niko), that’s what puts them in danger.

Over on Team Nancy, we have some familiar faces, beginning with our most unfamiliar familiar face, Nancy herself.

Hired as a professional detective undercover, Nancy Drew arrives at the lab to ferret out the murderer — and the truth behind Niko’s death — before anyone figures out that she’s not actually there on behalf of a new owner.

We learn a lot about Nancy in this game, not the least of which because she’s in what we can cheerfully call the opposite of her element (contrasting with TMB). Closely observed, surrounded by a subject that’s not quite in her normal wheelhouse, and where everyone around her is hell-bent on hiding everything they can from her — it’s a recipe for a frustrated detective, and that’s part of the reason that we see the return of not one but two (three? technically) detective (or detective-adjacent) phone friends, rather than Bess/George/Ned.

(Side Note: George, for all her specialty with science and technology, wouldn’t have been a good phone friend for this game, as she would have focused on the science, which isn’t really the point of Nancy’s investigation, and not enough on the case. Just putting that out there.)

This game features Nancy as a sort of patsy, rather than an unexpected observer or the target of revenge, and it should be no surprise that she outgrows that role fairly quickly. Her reluctance to search for evidence against someone, rather than evidence for the crime, clears the hurdle of Ryan’s Suspected Involvement pretty quickly while being the opposite of what Victor wanted out of her assistance.

On display here is Nancy’s fairness and her ability to ignore what others say about a case if it doesn’t suit her. Sure, she’s been told to watch Ryan and find her guilty, but Nancy’s pretty uninterested in that, instead centering her search around Niko rather than Ryan. Ellie makes a comment about Mason being about 60% scientist (and Niko being 100%), and it’s fair to say that Nancy’s about 60% a detective; she has other interests and motivations, but when she’s ‘at work’, she’s focused on doing her job to the greatest extent that she can — which is what makes her such a problem for Victor in the long run. And speaking of problems for Victor…

Returning from her role as the gloriously catty mean girl in ASH is Deirdre Shannon, criminology student and absolute sass master. Busted for hiring someone to write an essay for her in college, Deirdre’s clever enough to suggest making up the credit by assisting in a real-life murder investigation — albeit with a heavy dose of sarcasm for her frenemy.

Besides having the best lines in the game (her “did you forget that I don’t like you?” and voicemail message are incredible, along with her assertion that Nancy should get her head checked out due to her repeated hits on the head), Deirdre is there to help Nancy see things from a different perspective and to clue her in on information that she has no way to get — backing up alibis, old publications, and the like. She’s less concerned with the background of the case — the Hardy Boys (!!) have that covered — and is more here to figure out exactly who can be taken off of Nancy’s suspect list and why.

She also, in a rather glorious twist of fate, is the reason that Nancy is hired, having told Victor that Nancy suffers from “chronic wrongness”, among other things. I can just imagine how pissed Victor must have been in jail with her — more than with Nancy, certainly — and can easily see a future where, upon his release/escape, Victor goes after Deirdre — it was after all Deirdre, not Nancy, who cleared Ryan.

But enough about games that would have been better than MID. That’s a nigh-unquenchable topic.

Deirdre’s there as the more prominent foil to Nancy within the game — and the game isn’t shy about foiling the two women. Both are bright, both come from River Heights, both are interested in/involved with the same boy, both are involved in crimes/criminology to some extent…the list goes on.

The thing that Deirdre-as-foil shows us about Nancy is that Nancy isn’t unique in what she does. Sure, the way she got into the mystery business and her credentials are unusual, but she’s far from the only girl in her late teens that’s interested in crime and mysteries, and far from the only one who can solve these types of mysteries.

Deirdre is often referred to as “the girl who could have been Nancy Drew” had things worked out differently for her — different parents, different friends, different connections, etc. — and we see that play out here. She’s not lacking for smarts, intuitive thinking, or creative problem solving — just in opportunity.

The Hardy Boys are here for their only appearance in the Nancy Games, and boy do they do The Most.

When last we saw him, Frank Hardy was helping Nancy out with a ‘relationship talk’, but here he’s interested in two things: talking to Nancy and researching to help Nancy. He’s quite proud of Nancy and her reputation, and is more than willing to help her on the case — though his first priority is her safety, as demonstrated by the voicemail.

That really should be capitalized, huh. “The Voicemail”.

I first wanna say kudos to DED for actually making progress in Frank’s character arc and relationship with Nancy, and giving context to his sulking in the next game. So often in games like the Nancy Drew games — and indeed, in the earlier games in this series — there’s an addiction to the status quo that doesn’t really allow for anyone to learn anything permanent, much less something that changes their behavior, so I’m pretty thrilled with this development even outside of shipping.

Second, I love that this is a topic that both boys are interested in, albeit for different reasons. Too often we have either Frank or Joe being enthusiastic about the context of Nancy’s investigation, and it’s nice here to see that the boys can agree on something — even if their answers are different as to why.

Speaking of different reasons for interest, Joe Hardy is back (we haven’t seen him for quite a few games!) and is better than ever. I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again), but really Rob Jones does a phenomenal job with Joe, especially as the games progress, and DED is a perfect example. Joe’s dialogue is pitch-perfect and his excitement about Tesla is adorable.

I’m also going to point out that Joe’s identity as a very proficient tactician is in play in this game, as he is the one to point out how very strange it is that a man of means and importance would hire Nancy — not that, as Frank points out, Nancy doesn’t have a great reputation, but just that Victor should be able to hire a world-class detective rather than a girl in her late teens to investigate this murder.

The thing that the Hardy Boys are here to represent is Nancy’s fledgling footing into the professional world. Sure, she’s been a detective for hire for a while now, and TOT sort of ushered her into that world for good, but the Boys have been doing this for much, much longer, and have the sort of resources that make a huge difference when investigating crimes like murder versus circumstances like “my daughter is unhappy go help her”.

For all of Nancy’s natural inclinations, talents, and drive that make her a good detective, the Hardy Boys (along with Deirdre) show the downside of being an autodidact: the breadth of your resources isn’t anywhere near what others’ might be. The things she needs to solve this mystery are privy to those with better resources — colleges and agencies — and she has to rely on them to get the job done.

The Favorite:

DED is a game that I didn’t expect to like, but ended up really loving, so there’s quite a few things in this section that stand out.

The first thing I want to mention is I love Ellie and Mason’s interactions. In a lot of Nancy Drew games, we get the characters interacting with Nancy, but not so much interacting with each other, so it’s always a pleasure for me when it happens.

Deirdre holds her title as one of my favorite characters in this series, so of course she’s going to get a mention here. The “TDPD” segment has me rolling on the floor, her comment about Nancy volunteering for a neurological study sounds exactly like what a lot of fans joke about, and her voice acting (major props to Meaghan Halverson) is equal parts snide and earnest, all without ever losing her edge or likability.

As anyone who’s been in the vicinity of these metas knows, I’m a huge fan of the Hardy Boys, and I love their inclusion here. The geeking out over Tesla, the brotherly camaraderie, the hints at Frank’s feelings, Joe teasing Frank about said feelings — it’s all here, and it’s all wonderful.

My favorite puzzle would probably have to be the whole fingerprint-melting-gummy-bear puzzle, just because — I mean, at the end of the day, that’s just cool. I did a forensic-science-style unit in my elementary years where we printed fingerprints and distinguished between whorls and such and this made me exactly as excited as I had been all those years ago. It’s fun, fitting with the story, and involves gummy candies — what’s not to like?

My favorite moment — and I’ve mentioned this once already in this meta, and in a different meta — is the moment that Victor shows up. Savvy players of this series would know that there’s no way HER would include a model of Victor just for a video call, so it’s not exactly a surprise, but it’s such a wonderfully scary moment without being a jump scare or a startle.

Victor’s appearance closes down Nancy’s snooping spots, removes a safe place for her, turns the last bit of the game into a sort of mix of detective and stealth game, and is a huge subversion of the usual “phone-client” formula, and I absolutely love it.

My last favorite thing about this game is when you realize that Victor hired Nancy due to her supposed incompetence, rather than her being, in Frank’s words, one of the best that there is. It chills you down to the bone and makes the whole game feel more antagonistic as a result, and is just a really nice writing moment.

The Un-Favorite:

There are, however, a few things that maybe aren’t so grand in this game, even with all its good points.

My least favorite puzzle is probably the chemical puzzle — with the beakers and the exploding water and such — just because it’s quite finicky, and it takes up time that I’d rather be doing other things with. I thought about the printing puzzle, but honestly even though it takes time within the game to do it, there’s plenty of other things to do with Nancy’s time that makes the time spent there not so big a deal.

My least favorite moment in the game is, quite frankly, the time spent talking to Ryan. I find all the characters interesting as characters, but Ryan is exactly the kind of Quirk that I don’t handle well, in real life and in video games.

Honestly, her remark of “I less-than-three them!” was enough to get me to stand up and walk away from the game for a minute the first time I played through it.

Had this game come out a few decades earlier, she would have referred to Niko as “totally tubular” and stuff like that, and it’s…it’s just a lot to handle for me personally.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Deadly Device?

Honestly speaking, this is a game where there’s not a lot to do. I’d probably tweak Ryan to be a little less annoying and smooth out the chemicals puzzle, but those are more personal grievances than they are actual issues with the plot and writing.

Probably the only substantial thing I’d do is tie in the robotic cat plotline a little more. As it is, it’s easy to ignore and doesn’t have a lot of plot or thematic resonance, so I’d make it a little more important and noteworthy. And less scary looking.

DED is a game that sets out to tell a good story while subverting the usual Nancy Drew formula in big and small ways, and honestly it succeeds at both of those things with flying colors. It really feels like a setting where life went on before and will go on after Nancy leaves it, which is Valuable to me all by itself, and features some of the more colorful moments in the series — all while solving an actual murder for the first time since a Florida high school in the 90s.

#nancy drew #nancy drew games #the deadly device #clue crew #nancy drew meta #DED #video games #my meta

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tarotbytya · 3 years

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Pluto Retrograde in Capricorn (April 27-Oct 5)

Pluto is one of the most intense and powerful planets circling the universe. Pluto’s energy is honestly necessary, especially when it comes to making changes and evolving.This retrograde is forcing us to focus on our own personal shadow sides, specifically, the negative parts of ourselves that we may not really like or want to change. We’re focusing on our deepest selves, transformation and our subconscious and two important themes that Pluto highlights is power and desire. During this retrograde, be honest with yourself about how much you’re motivated by a need for recognition, money and authority.

When Pluto retrogrades we are given the opportunity to dig deep below surface level to better acquaint ourselves with our subconscious. Pluto is a slow-moving planet so transits from Pluto to a natal planet could last up to 3 years or more. Because of this, this is one main reasons that Pluto Retrograde are important. Pluto’s movement can dominate entire years of our lives and if one of our natal planets is caught in the cross-hairs of Pluto's retrograde stations, these effects could be intense. During Pluto’s retrograde, we strive to gain clarity on the things that are no longer working for us, so we can release them and move forward as an new and improved version of ourselves. We can either put in the work necessary to transform during this retrograde or end up stuck in a rut. Since this retrograde is occurring in Capricorn, we’re being ask to deal with matters involving karma, structure, and stability—both on a personal and collective levels. You could be more focused on career and status-oriented right now but you should feel eager to get rid of any obstacles that are preventing you from moving forward professionally. Change is on the horizon, whether we’re ready to embrace it or not.

Natal Pluto Retrograde

Natal Pluto Retrograde has karmic repercussions and a noticeable influence.

With natal Pluto Retrograde, you may have difficulty transforming your life due to the fear of letting go. This internalization process of retrogrades can slow you down while bringing your intense drives and needs to the surface. You will probably have difficulty expressing your personal power and influence.

Fear of being controlled or of taking control can stem from past life experiences involving abuse of power or being overly controlled. Depending on the particular past life conditions, you may have a fear of death, poverty, manipulation, torture, imprisonment, being committed to a mental institution, exile, or betrayal. Power and control issues may also involve psychic realms, sex, and inheritance.

For such reasons, you can be very intense on the inside, secretive, or a control freak. Past life conditioning can repeat, especially while young, in the form of compulsions, phobias, isolation, or mistrust of family. You may develop strong psychic power as a result of internalizing your powerful drives and wish for power and success. Hiding your true desire for power and influence can lead to suspicion.

Pluto retrograde in your natal chart subjects you to many fated events that are aimed at bringing your deepest and darkest fears to the surface. A repeating theme of particular experiences will continue until you learn to safely express your inner power and intensity.

Pluto Retrograde & The Signs

Some signs will have an easier time during this retrograde than others. Scorpio and Capricorn will feel this energy very closely—the vibrations from it are ones they’re used to working with. This can be to their benefit. As a mutable sign, Pisces shouldn’t have much of a problem going along with this transformative period.

Virgos are always down for a challenge, especially if it means things can be improved or fixed! Geminis and Leos are most likely be the ones to be thrown off balance. Aries and Tauruses may feel tested, while Cancers, Libras, Sagittarius’, and Aquarius’ will want to take things in stride.

Aries:

You’re known for loving your freedom but this Retrograde is asking you to take a deeper look at what that actually means. If you’ve been avoiding making certain career moves or you’re afraid of being tied down to your profession, the universe could have something to say. A professional opportunity could be coming your way. Make sure you are using this time to figure out how to reach your full professional potential. Responsibility can be scary, but it is braver to face it head-on, rather than run from it.

Taurus:

Security and stability are important to you. This retrograde is asking you to switch and mix things up in ways you’re not always prepared for. Relationships or jobs may fall to the wayside but the opportunity for internal growth is endless. For others, embracing a childhood dream or taking classes on a subject that you always wanted to learn about will boost your spirit to the next level.

Gemini

Your relationships might feel a little intense during this retrograde. Others may be going ghost or hermit mode but you’ll want to talk openly about your feelings. Although, it could be difficult giving others their space, especially when you’re in the mood to connect, but try not to take it personally. Remember everyone could be sorting through their own emotions, and sometimes it comes at the cost of detachment and isolation. Instead, try to schedule some time for yourself, and don’t be afraid to release people or situations that are no longer serving you. For others, you could be taking a step back to observe or pay attention to the effect you have on others. Re-evaluate the words you use when confronting and addressing other people.

Cancer:

This retrograde might not be that easy. With Pluto being placed in Capricorn, you’ll be directly confronted with the energy of this retrograde. This is the time for you to face any personal or professional issues you’ve been avoiding. Your love life could get shaken up a little as well. Before allowing yourself to engage in an argument, try to find a balanced and reasonable way of understanding your partner's needs to ensure serenity. Boundaries and communication is important right now. You may need to set some in order to gain some time to yourself.

Leo

Your work-life and balance could come into play during this retrograde. You may need to examine your time management and perhaps even your sleep patterns. Try to map about your priorities and obligations in a way that allows you to have a your career and home life. Also, before others try to take credit for your ideas or work, make sure that you’re making your name and efforts known by everyone, especially your boss.

Virgo:

You could be acting a little bit of a perfectionist which could allow this retrograde to go in either direction. On one hand, you’re always up for change, while on the other hand, you sometimes will hesitate to break away from your habits, if they’ve been working for you so far. Allow yourself to try new techniques and explore new thing.

Libra

This retrograde will have you focused on your home life. Whether you’re on the hunt for a new place to live, settling into a new place, encountering situations with roommates or need to finally clean out the guest room—change is coming. If you’re unhappy in your current living situation put in the work to change the situation. Take the necessary steps to make your home the save haven you deserve.

Scorpio:

The way you think about certain people or situations could change. Don’t be afraid of expressing your thoughts and sentiments right now, especially if it’s with people you want and hope to grow with. Make sure you are allowing others to have a chance to let their feelings be known as well.

Sagittarius:

Your heart wants to move without restriction and Pluto in Capricorn is pushing you to prioritize your responsibilities. Money matters and issues have been creating problems in your life. Tighten up your on finances during this retrograde and make plans to pay off any debt from the past that’s been hanging over your head.

Capricorn:

This retrograde will be a direct hit for you. What you prioritize will come into play during this time. If you realize you’re not working hard enough it may be time to make some lifestyle changes. On the other hand, if you’ve been working too hard, consider taking time out to restructure your game plan. Try loosening up the reins a little bit and give yourself a moment of chill.

Aquarius

Healing past trauma is a lifelong process. As long as you're willing and open to look at matters honestly, you’ll be gain a better understanding of yourself. During this retrograde, you may become even more aware of how society needs to evolve. When you’re feeling down about the world, do something to take action toward causes you feel passionate about.

Pisces:

Take some time to consider which of your friends and acquaintances are supportive and positive, versus the ones who aren’t. It’s okay to step back from people who don’t have your best interests at heart.

#pluto retrograde #daily tarot #tarotlife #astrology

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fuckingfinwions · 3 years

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Anaire first heard about her family’s fracture from the potter.

Well, that wasn’t strictly true,. She heard about Feanor’s death the same day as everyone else, it was the only thing anyone was talking about.

She didn’t attend the funeral, as she felt no sorrow at his death, but her cook brought the news. Apparently, “the king’s reclusive brother” had been at the funeral, his first formal appearance since Feanor took the throne. Maedhros’s coronation was two days later, and Anaire scrambled to get an invitation. He would be addressing the whole city afterwards, a great speech in the town square, but she had no interest in that. What she cared about was the ceremony for the council, in front of a few hundred nobles. Unless Maedhros wished to pretend Nolofinwe was dead, her husband would have to formally cede his claim the throne. She would see him, hear his voice for the first time in decades.

Still, Anaire was cautious. Argon, for all he wished to meet his father and siblings, was not allowed to attend. She sent him out of the city entirely, to a cousin of her mother who lived halfway up the Pelori. Though none but her and Nolofinwe knew the truth, the resemblance would be unmistakable if they were in the same room. Anaire herself dressed finely but not extravagantly, in hopes of blending into the crowd, and promised herself that she would not cry out no matter what horrors she saw.

After all that effort, she only saw Nolofinwe for less than half an hour, across a crowded room. Anaire recognized the robes he wore; the had been sewn for Aredhel’s first begetting day. She supposed they had been in storage all this time, too fine for a servant but too festooned with his emblem and Finwe’s for anyone else to wear. He stepped forward, and she held her breath, not wanting to miss a word out of her husband’s lips - and hoping, perhaps, that he’d finally denounce his tormentor.

But Nolofinwe only said “I, Nolofinwe Arakano, son of Finwe Noldoran, acknowledge Maitimo Neylafinwe as the rightful King of the Noldor. King Nelyafinwe inherits his right from King Curufinwe, who inherited it from King Finwe the Wise. Myself and my house have no claim on the throne, nor shall we attempt to usurp the proper order.”

Nolofinwe left the stage, and rather than returning to his seat, seemed to be walking out the hall entirely. Anarie wondered if it could really be so simple. Was this all Maedhros demanded? Could she have her family back under one roof tonight, as long as they avoided politics for the rest of their days? She gathered her purse and started to stand up, ready to follow her husband.

Nolofinwe saw her though, and shook his head sadly. He glanced towards the doorway ahead of him, and Anaire saw that it was flanked by royal guards, one of whom already was unclipping something from his belt. Nolofinwe mouthed “Them, not me,” and went through the door, the guard reaching for his wrists and pulling him around the corner.

Anaire sat through the rest of the coronation without paying it much attention. If she paid too much attention to Maedhros, she would think about how he could’ve freed her family and had not; murderously glaring at the new king would draw suspicion. Instead she thought about Nolofinwe’s words. Presumably he was referring to their children? Had he somehow traded their freedom for his own? Or were they still captive, and he was begging her to save her efforts for them?

Anaire thought on this over the next week. She moved back into the house in the city center, as it was the only place her family would know to look for her, rather than the smaller home on the outskirts she shared with Argon. She waited for an piece of news or gossip, but there was no more about the secondary royal family than there had ever been. There were rumors about the sons of Feanor, that King Maedhros had stripped all of them from rank and then immediately given them titles. But the titles seemed to be fewer than he had brothers, rather than more as she would expect if Nolofinwe had bought status for their children.

So eventually, Anaire went to the pottery shop on the far side of town. The owner of the shop knew Aredhel was Anaire’s daughter, but had flatly refused to so much as let them go to dinner together, for fear of Feanor’s anger.

“She’s not apprenticing with me anymore. Said King Maedhros didn’t want her in the city, so she was going to Valmar. Apparently some Vanya named Elenwe was going to take her in. I don’t know why; there are a dozen better potters in the city, and someone who can clean a house can’t be hard to find either.”

The potter looked at Anaire to see how she took the news. She had never asked in detail why her student hated the palace so, but it hadn’t been hard to guess, sitting gingerly on her return and with rope marks when she rolled up her sleeves and bite marks when she tied back her hair. The potter hoped that this Elenwe would be kinder, but she very much expected Aredhel would have more of the same, and had no intention of discussing it with Aredhel’s mother.

However, Anaire was practically beaming. “Elenwe of the Vanyar? Well, then I simply must visit her, it’s been too long since I last traveled west.”

Anaire managed to compose herself for long enough to walk home, but she was overjoyed. Elenwe was Turgon’s wife, and Anaire had met her a few times. (Never with Turgon present, his absences form the city were far too sporadic for her to plan around.) Elenwe would look after Aredhel, even if there was no useful place for her in the household. And if Aredhel had mentioned Elenwe, that meant she was hoping Anaire would find her, that she thought it was safe to do so.

(Perhaps, even, there would be more of Anaire’s children there. Turgon for his wife and Fingon to lead the way on their journey. She had not seen either of them since they were children.)

- Anaire tells Argon it’s safe to come down from the hills

- They wait a month in case Maedhros is having Aredhel’s route watched

- Argon and Anaire travel to Valmar

- Introductions! Aredhel and Elenwe recognize Anaire. Anaire can kind of recognize Turgon.

- Argon is a surprise to everybody. Aredhel had relayed the “guess what we have another kid” message from Anaire to Nolo, but it was all couched in metaphor so Feanor couldn’t find out. “Tell your father I miss him very much, and the seasons seem to fly by without him to mark them even as the years drag on. It seems only yesterday it was sunny June, but now it’s dreary November and winter will be cold alone.” June and November were the months Anaire had bad morning sickness with Turgon and Fingon.

- Aredhel assumed this was some sort of code, but she’s not looking for more info about her family’s sex lives than she’s forced to know.

- Idril is around 5 or so years old. Argon is like sixteen. (using equivalent human ages)

- After initial introductions, Elenwe takes Idril to play in another room, so that the long lost families can reconnect

“So, how much does Argon know?” Turgon said to Anaire, who is apparently his mom?

“I’ve discussed the appropriate things for someone his age.”

Aredhel: “You realize that neither of us knows what that means right?”

Turgon nodded. “Elenwe and I decided that she would make all decisions about discussing sex, sexual development, and healthy relationships with Idril. Partially because I didn’t expect to see my daughter often, but also because my understanding of age appropriate information is very, very lacking.”

Argon: “I know that you two, and Dad and Fingon, were forced to work in the palace and not allowed to leave. I also know that you were - hurt - and that some of the ways you were corruptions of the marriage act.”

Aredhel: “Most of the ways we were hurt were sexual. And the groping wasn’t actually painful, but I sure as fuck didn’t want it.”

Argon: “I was being circumspect for your sake. I know what sex is, and you don’t have to talk to me like I’m a little kid.”

Aredhel looked at Anaire, who nodded in permission.

“I assume your sex ed came from a different direction than mine did. ‘You know that thing the King does to Dad? If it’s between a man and woman rather than two men, babies can happen! Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it feels painful, and sometimes how good it feels is just another way you’re being twisted up to serve them. Also, the king started doing it to your big brother, so you’re being sent away from your family in hopes that this horrible sex thing will happen to you less.’ But I guess it worked, in that the potter at least was able to explain how women prevent babies in case any of them got the idea to try.”

Anaire was shocked. “I’ve never heard you mention this before. That was why you were apprenticed?”

Ardehel: “Yeah, Dad said I shouldn’t talk about sex with anyone outside the palace. They’d be horrified and try to do something, but they wouldn’t be able to actually help. Then King Feanor would be mad we told, and take his temper out on us, and honestly the difference between him not caring if we enjoyed sex and him trying to make it hurt was pretty fucking big. So I kept quiet. It seemed fair to tell you the broad strokes of what was happening to your kids and husband, but knowing details wouldn’t help.”

Anaire: “I wouldn’t cal the fact that you were in danger of being raped at age twelve a detail.”

Turgon: “She wasn’t. None of us were actually, Feanor didn’t keep very close track of us but dd ask Dad when our begetting days were, and get around to using us for the first time about a month after we came of age. I think Fingon had it worse honestly, he didn’t see it coming.”

Argon: “What do you mean, did he not know Feanor raped people?”

Turgon: “We knew he raped Dad, we walked in on them often enough in the middle of our chores. But he mostly ignored us when we were kids, other than making sure we were around to threaten Dad with. None of us expected that to change.”

Aredhel: “But once Feanor started paying attention, he didn’t forget. Fingon told me later that Feanor used his mouth ten times in that first month.”

Argon: “Wait, Feanor used his mouth - do you mean Feanor kissed Fingon?”

Turgon: “No, Feanor didn’t go in for the fake romance. He made had Fingon suck his cock, and came in it rather than in his ass. Which is generally less painful than unprepared anal sex at least.”

Anaire: “And Fingon and your father are still stuck there? That’s terrible!”

Aredhel shrugged. “I mean, Feanor’s dead, and now there’s only two people allowed to use them instead of eight. It’s better than it was.”

Turgon nodded. “Maedhros is one of the better ones who could have ended up in charge. He goes for his own pleasure rather than pain or humiliation, and he prefers sex in bedrooms - in beds, even.”

Argon, who has not learned nearly enough tact yet: “As opposed to-”

Turgon: “Busy hallways. Up against the wall. Down in the dirt in the stable-yard - or in the woods. Inside a moving carriage. In the middle of the room with nothing to brace yourself on, but not allowed to even fall to your knees.”

Argon: “Is it hard to stay upright during sex?”

Anaire: “Yes, and you don’t need more details.”

Aredhel: “Yeah, he presumably won’t be punished for not knowing them. So Argon, what do you do?”

Argon: “I don’t have a particular craft that calls to me, so I’m still doing general studies.”

Aredhel: “Which is what? I think some of the normal servant kids had education past age ten, but not most of them. Elves are smart enough that you can be literate and know the basics of history and all the math that’s practical by then.”

#servant nolofinweans au #timeline branch: Maedhros gets the concubines #not archived yet #sidenote now that it's her own family on the line you could probably get Nerdanel to help with a rescue attempt #get Nolo and fingon and Curufin and Celebrimbor all out at once #Nerdanel in my dark!Feanor stories tends to be sort of selfish / focused on a small area #what matters to her is whether her family is safe; she could care less about general ethics #outsider POV

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frumiousreads · 3 years

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Hello and welcome to A Murderess Affair. My name is Gabrielle, and this seems to be the month that we’re talking about murderous healthcare workers.

Our story today takes us to Germany, where we talk about the deadly Gesche Gottfried.

Gottfried was born on March 6 1785 to Johann Timm and Gesche Margarethe Timme. She had a twin brother Johann Timm Jr, and her parents always preferred him to her. Now, like many other serial killers, people like to look back at Gottfried’s childhood to try and see how it affected her as an adult.

What’s interesting about Gottfried’s case in particular is that it seems like because of how she killed people, and just the general way her parents treated her, a lot of people have begun to believe that she had Munchausen syndrome by proxy.

Basically, Munchausen’s by proxy is where a caregiver makes up or causes an illness/injury to someone under their care.

Gottfried’s father was a tailor, and her mother worked as a sewer/seamstress. But, surprisingly enough, despite their supposedly low or poor class status, Gottfried and her parents arranged a marriage between herself and a wealthy man who made saddles in 1806, Johann Mittenberg.

And this marriage was not a happy one. Mittenberg seemed to like drinking, prostitutes, and dance halls more than he liked spending time with his wife.

And sadly, by 1813, this marriage would be over. Gottfried became known as the “angel of Bremen”, as this beautiful blue eyed blonde haired 28 year old who doted on her sick husband despite all of his failures, nurturing him quite literally to his death.

Gottfried was now a widow with 3 children, but she was also very, very good friends with one of her dead husband’s friends, Michael Christoph Gottfried.

Now, Gottfried’s parents were not too happy with this interest she took. Apparently, Michael wasn’t a big fan of kids, and her parents were very, very vocal about their disapproval. They were the only obstacle in Gottfried’s marriage to Michael. At least, until first Gottfried’s mother, 3 and 6 year old daughters, father, and 6 year old son died within the span of May, June, and September of 1815.

Childless, with no family to support her, the town’s sympathy was only growing. While this may look suspicious to us now, this was back in a time where epidemics routinely took the lives of many families who lived in unhygienic and crowded conditions.

Honestly I think now more than any other time is when we can understand how quickly sickness spreads through a community.

So no suspicions were raised, and now all barriers holding Gottfried back from marrying Michael were disposed of, and their relationship would continue.

Until 1816, when Gottfried’s twin brother returned from a war that left him injured and with destroyed faculties. He’d fought in the war against Napoleon, and now that he was discharged he wanted to claim the inheritance his parents had left him. And, since he was the favored child, he was left significantly more.

Gottfried couldn’t have that, and on Jun 1st, 1816, she cooked him a dinner of fish and arsenic. He died not too long after.

Arsenic used to be so easily found. It was commonly sold at drug and corner stores as a form of rat poison, and was nearly tasteless. Gottfried’s go to for incorporating her poison was to use “mouse butter”, which was a mix of fat and arsenic that created a butter like substance often used to kill rodents and other pests.

Now, not long after her brother’s death, Gottfried found out that she was pregnant. And with this revelation, her new lover Michael decided he was done with the relationship. Gottfried wasn’t having that, and began mixing this mouse butter into his meals. He didn’t die at first, but fell completely under her whims and was considered “invalid”. They were married so that she could continue to care for him, but ultimately he died in July 1817. The baby she was carrying would also turn out to be stillborn.

After Michael’s death, Gottfried hit a dry spell where nobody close to her died. It wasn’t until 1823, when her funds began to run out, that she started resorting to her old methods.

She was proposed to by her neighbor, a merchant named Paul Zimmerman, who proposed spring of that year.

It wasn’t long after that she made a trip to the pharmacy, where they were advertising their “mouse butter” on sale. To test it, and see if it was “the real thing”, she made a sandwich for her fiance, who began to get sick and continued to get worse until he died on June 1st, 1823. Luckily, he’d remembered to add her in his will before he died, so she ended up getting his assets.

After his death, it seems that Gottfried started actively looking for more and more victims.

When she ran out of funds, she ended up selling the house to a wheel maker, Johann Rumpff, under the condition that she was allowed to stay on as a tenant. She soon became close to the family as they moved in, helping take care of the house and being referred to by the children as their “aunt”, and caring for them when their parents were busy.

She even helped take care of Mrs. Rumpff, when she got sick, until she died on December 22nd, 1826. Yes, that “mouse butter” was coming in handy.

Except, Johann Rumpff was suspicious. This only increased when one day he found strange white grains in a salad that Gottfried had served him. He refused to eat the salad, and a few days later noticed the same white grains, and this time he saved some and later gave them to a doctor. This doctor confirmed it was a “considerable amount of arsenic”, and she was arrested on March 6th, 1828.

Unfortunately, at that point she had claimed the lives of 2 others, and also had dosed her latest victim, Friedrich Kleine, to the point that even though she was caught Kleine still died.

She was jailed for 3 years in a cellar under the town hall in Bremen. The judge, Franz Friedrich Droste, was reportedly fond of her and treated her with pity.

Gottfried was found guilty of the murders of 16 people, although her own estimate was somewhere around 30. She was given a death sentence, and on April 21st, 1831 she was sent to Domhof Square. There was a scaffold covered in black and she was directed to the podium and sat on a stool. There, she was beheaded, and her body displayed on museum in Domhof. The reason? To raise money for an orphanage.

Gottfried’s was the last public execution in Bremen, and her skeleton was last reported to be in the Department of Pathology of Bremen in 1912.

One way that Gottfried is remembered in Bremen is at the central city square. There, you will see a “black stone” in the roadway, where the platform that Gottfried was beheaded once stood.

To demonstrate their disgust towards Gottfried and her cruelty, the city placed this black stone and encourage those who see to spit on it. Nowadays, people do it even though they may not necessarily know the story behind it.

#true crime #tw murder #tw true crime #a murderess affair #history #women in history #history podcast #true crime podcast #serial killer #female serial killers

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greyias · 4 years

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FIC: Smoke and Mirrors - Chapter 12

Title: Smoke and Mirrors Fandom: SWTOR Pairing: Theron Shan/f!Jedi Knight Rating: T Genre: Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn Synopsis: Something’s rotten on Carrick Station, and Theron won’t rest until he finds out what. But picking at the frayed threads of suspicion quickly unravels a conspiracy much larger than even the Republic’s top spy can handle on his own. (A mostly canon-compliant retelling of the Forged Alliances storyline, as seen through the eyes of Theron Shan.) Author’s Notes and Spoilers: See Chapter 1.

Chapter Index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | Crossposted to AO3

Theron glared at the bright sign over the bar as another minute on the display’s minuscule chronometer ticked by without any sign of his asset. He checked the urge to let out an annoyed breath, and instead swirled around the contents of his glass to occupy his waiting time. The off brand whiskey from Soccoro was considerably cheaper than Whyren’s Reserve, but it still had the woody notes he enjoyed in the beverage.

The bartenders here on Carrick Station tended to water down drinks more than usual, although whether that was a request from Republic Command, or just a way to extend profits he didn’t know. However, it was still alcoholic, and right now that’s what mattered. Besides, a watered down drink suited him just fine at the moment. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be here, and he needed to keep up appearances on the off chance anyone was watching.

The likelihood of that was low considering he’d been careful to keep his suspicions of Darok to himself — unlike some people he could maintain a low profile. Not that Theron wouldn’t have relished the chance to openly glare at the bastard, but sometimes it was better to be subtle. Especially when it came to tailing and observing targets. He wasn’t sure what role Darok had played in the invasion of Tython, but he’d find that out soon enough.

Thoughts of the Jedi Temple in ruins inevitably led his mind astray, and he tried to flick the mental query about the status of the Grand Master to the back of his mind for what had to be the fifth time. He was pretty sure there would have been mention from his Knight Errant if she had seen any sign of Satele during the battle to retake the temple. If her reaction to the family resemblance was anything to judge by (not to mention the amount of times their names cropped up together in the dossier), they had to be at least familiar with each other. Or at least more so than the average Jedi was to the Grand Master. After all, her first reaction on seeing him was to latch onto the family resemblance.

Satele could take care of herself, Theron knew that. If she wasn’t on Tython at the time, then she was likely engaged in some important business elsewhere. It was inevitable that she would be briefed on what had happened at the temple and likely already be on her way back home. It didn’t make much sense to call in a professional sense, and he definitely wasn’t going to just ring her up to say hello.

He took another, very shallow sip of his whiskey and glanced at the chronometer again. Perhaps he’d been too subtle in his invitation to Highwind, and she hadn’t realized his comment about the drink was an excuse to talk to her away from Darok. She seemed fairly sharp, even for a Jedi. Hopefully she hadn’t decided to keep trying to press Darok on her painfully obvious suspicions. Theron frowned into his glass, wondering how he kept getting pulled into jobs with Jedi.

It certainly wasn’t the will of the Force. If the damn thing had ever given him any sort of favor he would have been on Korriban and Tython right alongside the little blonde with a lightsaber of his own, rather than stuck being the voice in her ear. His efforts may have been crucial to the overall success of the mission, but being cooped up in a room while someone else did the heavy lifting wasn’t his style.

While he preferred sneaking into the back door to kicking down the front, either of those options would at least have him in the middle of the action. It would have given him first-hand information on what had gone down at both locations, rather than him having to interpret the conversations Highwind’s earpiece had picked up.

Information was key. And honestly, it was of utmost importance to the ongoing war efforts to know the status and whereabouts of the members of the Jedi Council, especially the Grand Master. And damn it, if something had happened to her, someone was going to have to tell Jace. Not that the two were an item anymore, but still. That wasn’t the sort of thing you just heard in a report.

Not that Theron was volunteering for that thankless task.

And since he had no idea whether the Hero of Tython was going to grace him with her presence, he could at least kill some time and answer that stupid question nagging at him. Without another thought about it, he pulled out his holo and keyed in Satele’s private frequency. She had given it to him after the Duros mission, for whatever reason he still couldn’t figure out. He’d committed it to memory immediately and destroyed the physical copy, as a direct line to the head of the Jedi Order was information that needed to be carefully controlled.

Almost immediately the other end picked up, and the fuzzy blue image of the Grand Master sprang up from the small device. He felt some of the tension in his shoulders ease a little at seeing her face frowning in confusion, even if the quality of the call obscured the finer details of her expression. Judging from the flickering image, she was quite a distance away.

“Theron,” she said in greeting, her tone measured and careful, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting a call.”

Maybe he should have led with something else, but apparently the small amount of whiskey had removed at least one brain-to-mouth filter. “I’m guessing you weren’t at the temple.”

“No,” she said, “I’m acting as an emissary to the Drayvos League.”

“Have you heard?”

“Yes.” She closed her eyes briefly. Even over the call it was obviously she was trying to gather a measure of calm. “I felt Master Traless’s passing through the Force, and the rest… I felt them too.”

He probably should have passed along something along the lines of condolences, but those words stuck in his throat. He washed that away with another sip of whiskey, trying to control his expression as the woman on the other end of the holocall seemed to collect herself.

“We got it back,” he managed to get out tersely. “I’m sorry it wasn’t soon enough.”

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “I’m sure you all did the best you could.”

Maybe it was just that small glimpse of vulnerability that she let slip through, but his ironclad desire to maintain professional distance slipped away, and suddenly he wasn’t just another SIS agent confirming the security of high ranking Republic personnel. For a moment, they were almost something resembling mother and son. Maybe not like a normal family, but still close enough that he wanted… he didn’t know. To offer reassurance? Let her know he was going to find the truth? To ask for her help? No. That was crazy. Not only had the Council not been informed of the Korriban op beforehand (that would be a fun call for Jace to have), but this wasn’t a secure line. There would be too much for him to explain. And honestly, would she even believe his crazed conspiracy theories?

No. Of course she wouldn’t.

And even if she did, there were too many potential ears listening in around them. Before talking about anything classified he’d have to determine who around him was actually drunk and who was listening. What she needed from him was the actual truth on what had happened today. What she deserved was the real reason that her home had been ransacked, and why her people had been killed.

“I just thought you should know,” he finally said.

It was almost too hard to tell over the weak connection of the call, but he thought he saw the normally composed expression soften just a faction. It was probably his imagination. “I’m glad you called.”

“Right,” he said awkwardly. “Sorry for interrupting.”

“Don’t be,” she said. “My mind is a little more at ease now.”

Her attention was pulled away as two officers walked into view of the call. He saw her eyes flick over her shoulder, possibly sensing their approach. Without saying anything to him she turned to address them. Something about the way the two held themselves, glancing at the private communication their commander was viewing struck Theron as odd, and he tried to suppress a frown.

Satele glanced back at him, already reaching for the disconnect button. “I’m sorry, Agent, but something has come up. Besides, it appears that you have company.”

He didn’t break from his position, but flicked his eyes over towards the bar to see one blonde Jedi Master approaching him, obvious curiosity on her face. He gave Satele a curt nod of acknowledgement, and she ended the call before anything else could be said.

“That was Grand Master Satele, wasn’t it?” Highwind asked as she approached.

He gave her a small measure of his usual annoyance for someone so casually broadcasting that sort of thing, which apparently was a little too subtle for the Jedi to catch as she just kept staring at the space where the Grand Master’s image had been a few moments before. Like spies, a lot of Jedi were fairly guarded when it came to their inner-thoughts. This one apparently was a bit of an exception, because Highwind was fairly obviously broadcasting concern.

“Yeah, that was her,” he said. “She wasn’t anywhere near Tython.”

“Theron, I’m sorry,” her voice dropped, the note of contrition contained within entirely baffling, “I should have let you know that I didn’t find any evidence of her while I was there.”

“You had other things on your mind,” he said, trying to impart a note of finality into his voice. “Like not dying on the other end of a lightsaber.”

“Still, she’s your—“

“We’re not that close,” he interrupted, and straightened up in his chair so he could catch her eye. “Your Order’s pretty particular about that point.”

“I didn’t mean to offend,” she said quietly. “If I have, I apologize.”

“Forget it,” he muttered, “it doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t have your particular talent as it turns out.”

She gazed at him curiously, cocking her heading to the side as if trying to slot in a new piece she had just found to a puzzle she had been working on. It made him feel itchy and uncomfortable, and he immediately looked into the depths of his glass of whiskey. He swirled the liquid around, watching as the sugars of the alcohol clung to the sides and slowly worked their way down the side of the glass.

“I’m going to guess she gave—“

“I’ve got a tab open at the bar,” he interrupted the query before she could even finish, “go order something.”

“I’m sorry, that was rude of me.”

“Get a drink,” he said insistently. “Before you start getting any looks standing there looking like a Jedi.”

“I am a Jedi,” she reminded him.

He motioned to the bar. “So go get a refreshment. I assume your lot is still allowed to do that aren’t they?”

“Yes,” she said tersely.

“Then help yourself. I’m not going anywhere.”

She frowned ever so slightly at the dismissal, before turning on her heel and approaching the bar. He watched her surreptitiously, pretending he was more interested in the glass in his hand. Whatever she was saying seemed to confuse the server for a few moments, before he apparently took in her attire completely. The dramatic eye roll was obvious even from this far away, and he had to go into the back before he returned with a tall mug of a steaming beverage, and handed it over

She walked back, shoulders back, and mug tightly gripped between both of her hands to keep any of the liquid from spilling. He expected to see the strings of some sort of tea bag over the side of the mug, but as she took the chair opposite to him, he could just make out the telltale aroma and dark brown color of caf.

Interesting choice.

“I have a drink,” she said with finality.

“That’s caffa,” he said blandly. “That’s not a drink. There’s no alcohol in it.”

“It’s liquid and you drink it,” she corrected primly, “therefore, it’s a drink.”

“Well, if you want to be literal, sure.”

“Besides, I try not to drink alcohol.”

He almost, almost asked what she meant by “try”, but stopped himself at the last moment. They were already getting sidetracked to his reason for coming here.

“I apologize if I was prying,” she said carefully. “I did not mean to speak out of turn on what might be a difficult subject.”

“It’s not difficult,” he said flatly. “It’s just a closed one. People in my line of work don’t really discuss that sort of thing.”

“Yes, of course,” she said, and took a sip from her mug as if to busy herself. It wasn’t usually the Jedi way to act so… casual around others. If that was the right word.

The normalcy of the whole act caught him a little off guard, and he found himself adding without really thinking, “Everything worked out for the best, even if it’s different than what I first thought. I’m good at what I do.”

“If you ask me, I think you turned out pretty well,” she said, glancing up from her mug of caf, a small smile playing across her face.

His brain frizted out for a moment as he tried to interpret that statement. From anyone else he would have assumed they were trying to flirt with him. Considering her background, he couldn’t completely dismiss the fact that she was likely oblivious to that sort of thing. He decided to chalk it up to that so he could tackle the subject at hand. “Well, if that’s so, hopefully you’ll keep listening. At least, as long as you have a drink in hand.”

“Well, you were quite insistent that I grab one.”

He probably should have apologized for his brusqueness earlier, but he just shrugged. “I like to keep up appearances.”

“For the bartender?” She took a casual sip from the mug, but the look she shot him over the rim was contemplative, not confused. “Or are you concerned about other eyes?”

“You catch on quick.”

“You are not the first SIS agent I’ve had a meeting with under false pretenses.”

“Is it really a false pretense if we already made the arrangements before there was a need for one?” he shot back. “Besides, I bought you that drink, as promised.”

“So you did, and I still have a way left to go in this mug.” She leaned back in the seat, cupping the beverage between both of her hands. “Was there more you wanted to speak about, other than just the merits of what constitutes a ‘drink’?”

Touché. Apparently she knew how to duel with something other than just lightsabers. His first instinct was to return fire with a sarcastic remark, but he caught himself. While not normally one to back down from a challenge, there was a bigger issue here. Something was rotten on Carrick Station, and he needed to get to the bottom of it.

He ran a finger along the rim of his glass, looking at the Jedi’s guarded expression. Any lingering doubts on her being part of Darok’s scheme had been pretty thoroughly put to rest by her practically trying to interrogate him on the spot. The amount of planning and forethought to somehow arrange that for Theron’s benefit was, quite frankly, paranoid. More paranoid than the spy’s current line of thinking. Also, Highwind’s record spoke for itself. Not to mention her performance on both of the missions. There was no telling what was going on, but if anyone could handle the unknown it was the woman in front of him. It would be stupid for him not to recruit her into this.

“This conversation is off the books,” he finally said. “Does that bother you?”

“I had a feeling it might be,” she returned. “Is this in regards to what I’m thinking?”

“It might be.” Theron sat his drink down and folded his hands together. “I don’t need the Force to do simple math. Things add up here. Something’s off.”

She nodded. “The timing of both attacks was too convenient.”

“That’s not all.” He frowned, doing quick calculations on how much of his hand he should play, and decided it would be beneficial to put most of his cards on the table. “Darok and these ops… there’s something being buried here.”

She pursed her lips. “Do you remember the Sith I spoke of? The one on the holo?”

“Oh, you mean the one our buddy Darok didn’t want you talking about?”

“You noticed that too?” She tapped the side of her mug, but he couldn’t tell if the comment was genuine or sarcastic.

“I’m surprised you did with the way you kept going on.”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “I was trying to properly debrief after a mission. No one wanted to listen to me.”

“I was listening,” Theron said, catching her eye. “I’ve been listening to you all day.”

She fixed him with a look. “Why did you not say anything?”

“Because there’s this thing called subtlety,” he said, “you ever heard of it?”

Her nostrils flared as she snorted out a breath. “Of course I know what subtlety is. What am I supposed to do? Use some sort of secret spy signal to let you know I want to talk?”

He stared at her for several beats, hopefully letting the ridiculousness of that statement sink in. “Yeah, of course you are. It looks like this.”

He used his thumb to trace the shell of his ear in an exaggerated gesture, like some sort of cliché spy from a holodrama. She narrowed her eyes, before quickly mimicking the motion. “Like that?”

Stars. She was just so… so… so… Whatever. It didn’t matter what she was. “Yeah. That’s the secret SIS signal for needing to pass along sensitive intel while someone else is listening in.”

“Really?” She tilted her head at him.

Okay, he was going to have to work on broadcasting his sarcasm more clearly. Also, they didn’t have time for this. So he returned to the more important subject at hand. “What did the Sith say?”

“Not much.” Highwind stared into the depths of her mug. “He spoke of a package that had been secured. To a ‘Lord Goh’, I presume that was the Sith I fought in the library. I could not determine what the contents of said package were.”

“I guess they wouldn’t just let that slip,” Theron muttered annoyed, mostly to himself. “Might defeat the purpose of doing their raid.”

“I suppose so,” she allowed. “When the Sith realized I was not his compatriot, he said something odd.”

“Odd how?”

“That I was ‘running a little bit ahead of schedule’.”

“That’s… yes. That’s very odd,” Theron agreed. “Although maybe not so much if the timing wasn’t so much of a coincidence as we’re supposed to believe. Did he say anything else?”

She was quiet for a moment, still staring into the contents of her mug. “When I pressed him on the reason for the attack, he said it was for ‘the vindication of history’. I don’t know what he meant by that… but I really don’t like the sound of it.”

Theron nodded, trying to fit the new snatches of information into the odd picture that was starting to form in his head. There were still too many gaps in the larger picture. He’d have to file them away for now.

“What are we going to do?”

“We?” Theron quirked a brow. “So I take it that means that you don’t want to just hang up that shiny new medal of yours and head on home?”

Her head snapped up at the challenge, for a moment the perfect Jedi calm broken. The brightly colored lights of the cantina threw a strange wash on everything, but the defiant blue of her eyes still shone through clearly. It made for a very striking image. “A Jedi does not have need for bloodstained trinkets.“

He raised his brows. “I’ve seen some that do. Wasn’t sure if you were one of them.”

“I have enough medals,” she leaned forward, meeting his stare. “If you say something is being buried, I would like to know what that is.”

"It’s going to require some digging.”

“The truth usually does,” she said. “I’m out of shovels, but I’ve got a Seeker Droid on my ship that’s really good at digging up things.“

“That might be a bit overkill right now.” Not to mention way too literal. “I think we need to go for a more subtle approach.”

“If that’s what you think.” She leaned back against the cushion of the chair, eyeing him curiously. “What exactly is your line of thought?”

“Well, hypothetically speaking of course, I’d start by making a new friend,” he said casually, “someone I might be able to count on.”

“Friends are a good thing to have.”

“I’m thinking of a really good friend, one who’d be willing to face down the Emperor himself if it came to it,” he said, watching her carefully. “You know of anyone like that?”

At the mention of the Emperor, something flashed across her expression, so quick he almost missed it. Brows drawn together in a deep frown, and something darker in the eyes, but it was gone too fast to tell exactly what had been there.

“I might know of someone,” she said.

“Yes, well, then hypothetically after we exchanged friendship bracelets, I’d go off on my own.”

“That’s not very nice after making a friend.”

“My friend’s a busy lady. I wouldn’t want to bother her until I found out everything I could about Darok and the Sith Lord she talked to.”

“I thought you said you needed help.”

“Hypothetical help, but only after I checked and double-checked all my information and found all the connections.”

“This is a lot of hypotheticals,” she grumbled into her mug.

He couldn’t check the grin at her repressed annoyance. “I like my hypothetical proof.”

“Your new friend must be a very understanding and patient person.”

“I wouldn’t know, I just met her.”

“I do. She has the patience of a Jedi.”

“Fancy that,” he tossed back. “But I might give her a call—”

“Good, she was starting to get lonely drowning in this sea of hypothesis.”

“I’ll toss her a hypothetical lifeline.”

“My hypothetical hero.”

“And then after she stopped being hypothetically sarcastic, I’d see if she’d be ready to get to the bottom of all of this.”

“She’s ready now.” Highwind twisted the mug in her hands.

“That’s not being very patient,” he admonished lightly. Despite the gravity of the situation he had to hold back a laugh at the petulant look on her face. “And I’m good, Master Highwind, but I’m not good enough to be able to do all that without leaving this seat.”

“I thought you said we were friends,” she shot back.

“Hypoth—”

“Don’t even think about finishing that word,” she muttered dangerously.

“Fine, we’re ‘friends’.”

“Then drop the formalities, unless you want me to call you ‘Agent Shan’ from here on out.”

She made sure to say the last part a few decibels louder than the rest of the sentence. Luckily the cantina was pretty much deserted at this time of day, but he fixed her with a look all the same for attempting to attract attention.

“Now, Grey,” he lowered his voice in an attempt to get the conversation back under control, “if you’re annoyed you don’t need to shout.”

“I’m not annoyed,” she said, “but I don’t enjoy speaking in vague riddles either.”

“I thought you Jedi loved that.”

Highwind—no, Grey—shot him a look, and he was pretty sure that whatever curiosity she had held for him at the beginning of the conversation had been beaten out by irritation at this point. “It’s been a long, very unexpected day, Theron.”

“Okay, that’s probably fair.” The image of that unguarded moment he’d caught a glimpse of flashed in his mind. He could still see that glimmer on her cheeks, and the way she’d tried to dash them away before anyone else could see. The tiniest hints of something that could have been a thread of guilt wound through his chest and he busied himself with his glass of whiskey. “You did do all the heavy lifting.”

“I had help,” she corrected, and the curious quality of steel and compassion drew his gaze up to see her staring at him resolutely, “and I appreciate that. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

A tiny flare of warmth lit up in his gut, warring with that thread of guilt. He had no idea how to reconcile either of those conflicting feelings, which made it difficult to form a proper response. “I was just doing my job.”

“And it was a good one, judging by the fact that I’m here.” That really shouldn’t have made the little flare heat up into a small fire, but for some stupid reason it did. At least it burned away some of the guilt. “Even without the friendship bracelet, that goes both ways.”

“I don’t follow.”

“If this is off the books,” she leaned forward, voice dropping further, “then you’re going to need backup.”

“I work best alone.”

“That’s not how being ‘friends’ works.”

“I’ll call you once I know something,” he clarified, “but I can sneak around better without you waving your lightsaber for everyone to see.”

“I can always not pull it out.”

“The whole armor and cape getup is kind of a dead giveaway too.” He waved his hand at her attire vaguely. “Besides, I’m just going to do some low-key surveillance and scour the HoloNet. You’d get bored very quick.”

“I can do more than just wave around a lightsaber,” she pointed out.

“I’m sure you’re very talented,” he took a sip of his whiskey, “but not as much as me when it comes to my job.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re not overconfident. Nothing bad has ever come from that.”

“Is that sarcasm I detect, Master Jedi? Very unbecoming.”

She pursed her lips together, cheeks turning the slightest shade of red, but didn’t drop that intense gaze. “If you run into trouble, what happens?”

“I’m not,” he said finitely, setting his glass down on the table and rising to his feet. “But I promise to write, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“That’s not what I said—“

“Look, it’s been fun chatting, but I’ve got a shuttle to catch.”

“Aren’t you going to finish your drink?” She pointed to the half-consumed glass of whiskey. A bead of sweat trickled down the side, pooling on the table below it. “Such a waste. The bartender will talk.”

Theron slid a glance to the bartender, who was busy wiping down the bar, then back at the Jedi staring at him placidly. He met her gaze evenly, and grabbed the glass and tossed back the entire contents in one smooth motion. To his credit, he didn’t choke even as the alcohol burned a trail all the way down his throat.

She shrugged at him lightly, and lifted her mug up as if in cheers. “Have a good flight, Theron.”

“See you around,” he tossed back, before slipping away.

If his ears weren’t deceiving him, he thought he might have heard a quiet huff of laughter as he walked away, the whiskey still burning in his throat, and the odd warmth still bubbling in his gut.

#swtor fanfiction #theron shan x jedi knight #Theron Shan #Female Jedi Knight/Hero of Tython #oc: greyias highwind #otp: adorkable #smoke and mirrors #SoR Fic O Doom #swtor #fanfic #greyfic

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thescribblerqueen · 4 years

Text

Fanfiction Project List Pt. 2

(Because I have no control over my brain)

A continuation of my Flash/Glee/Agents of Shield fic ideas. Click Here for Part 1!

Flash Age Reversal Fic

Status: Not Written

Tags: Gen Fic, Barry Allen & Joe West, Father/Son Relationship, age reversal, not a crack fic, sort of a character study on their relationship, tags tbd

Summary: Joe deals with his feels of resentment towards Henry Allen as Barry’s Biological Father and all the things he missed out on with Barry. Barry comes into contact with a meta that reverses peoples ages and has to wait several months for the effects to wear off.

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Flash/Agents of Shield Foster Fic

Status: Not Written

Tags: Gen Fic, probably a one-shot?, Joe West & Iris West & Barry Allen & Skye/Daisy Johnson, Foster Family AU, Pre-winter soldier, Coma Barry, Tags TBD

Summary: One of Skye’s last foster families was the West family, Team Coulson looks into events after the particle accelerator explosion and she reconnects.

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For the Hell of It

Fandom: Glee

Status: Chapter 2

Tags: KurtBastian, Former Klaine, Ugly klaine breakup, it’s not bashing but might not for klaine fans, enemies to friends to lovers speedrun,one-night stand, and they were roommates, Post-Season 5, Fake Marriage AU, Fake Marriage with Benefits, denial which might count it as slowburn, trust fund Sebastian, character illness, mentions of homophobia, Tags TBD

Summary: After breaking up with Blaine and calling off the wedding, Kurt is avoiding going back to his apartment after work because they still live together. While stressing over finding a new apartment with everyone moving out he runs into Sebastian and they catch up and hook up. Sebastian offers for him to be roommates afterwards to solve his problems. Turns out when they aren’t fighting over a guy they’re pretty compatible. Things get more complicated with they decide it would benefit them to get married legally for financial and other benefits.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29502675

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Flash Westhallen Friends w/Benefits Fic

Status: Not Written

Tags: Westhallen, HalBarry,Westhawne, fake dating au, FWB, of course there’s smut it’s a FWB AU, angst, pining, jealousy, “unrequited love”

Summary: Barry made the stupid mistake of starting a “Friends with Benefits” pact with Iris and Eddie, who wanted to try somethings in the bedroom that Barry has experience with. He needs to get out of it before he gets hurt. His solution, fake date his old friend Hal Jordan who is also trying to avoid unrequited feelings.

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Glee/Flash KurtBastian Fake Dating AU

Status: Not Written

Tags: KurtBastian, Westhawne, Blaine/?, former Klaine, unrequited feelings, Sebastian is Barry Allen, Bisexual Barry Allen, fake dating au, future fic, tags TBD

Summary: Kurt moved to Central City after Blaine starts dating someone else, and runs into an old face. Unfortunately, Blaine ends up in Central and to avoid ending back up together he asks Barry to fake date him. Barry uses this quell any suspicions that he still has feelings for Iris.

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Glee/Flash KurtBastian Coffee Shop AU

Status: Not Written

Tags: KurtBastian, starts as Klaine, Sebastian is Barry, technically a coffee shop AU, Post Season 3, canon divergence, mentions of assault/injuries, homophobia, Finn lives

Summary: Barry regrets choosing to work at Jitters during the summer instead of at the grocery store like Iris when Kurt Hummel, attending a theatre program in Central City, walks in and asks “Why does your name tag say Barry?”

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Glee/Flash Time Travel AU

Status: Not Fully Plotted

Tags: Probably going to FlashVibe, Time Travel, Sebastian is Barry,???

Summary: Barry inexplicably ends up back in the past without his powers and attending Dalton Academy once again.

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Glee/Flash Young Flash

Status: Not Fully Plotted

Tags: Teen Barry, Everyone else is older, Barry and Wally are the same age, Sebastian is Barry, realistic coma, season 6 of Glee, Eobard burns down Dalton,???

Summary: Before his Senior Year ends, Barry is struck by lightning and is in a coma for nine months. When he returns to Dalton all of his friends have graduated but the New Directions are still around saving their old glee club.

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Glee/Flash Sebklaine A/B/O Fic

Status: Revived, On Chapter 2, Not Published

Tags: Sebklaine,Klaine, Sebastian is Barry (as usual), a/b/o dynamic, slight freeform, and they were roommates, Alpha Blaine, Omega Kurt, Omega Barry, secret identity, insecurities, smut, heats, & ruts, unplanned pregnancy, summer fling with breakup, drama and angst, Tags TBD

Summary: Barry ends up in Lima for his forensic internship and doesn’t expect to be renting the same house as Kurt and Blaine. And they only know him as Sebastian Smythe, so he has to pretend to be Sebastian again for the summer. It all goes down hill with an unexpected heat.

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Glee/Flash Thallen

Status: N/A

Summary: After Eddie’s death and then his dad’s, Barry takes a leave of absence from work and goes to his High School Reunion and spends time reconnecting with old friends. The team promised to call him if they needed him back, but they are completely unaware that at the same time, the time line is being altered in Central and leaving everyone outside of it unaffected.

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Flash/Agents of Shield Daughter AU

Status: N/A

Tags: FitzSimmons, Multiverse, slight time travel, parents being the same age as their children, Deke is an alternate timeline son of Caitlin, slightly inspired by another fic but also I just think Caitlin and Jemma look alike

Summary: FitzSimmons Daughter is taken from them as an infant and she ends up on Earth-1 as Caitlin Snow. When they finally track where she went Caitlin is already full grown despite that it’s only been a few months for them.

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Flash/Agents of Shield Ward AU

Status: N/A

Tags: Multiverse, Redemption Arc, Post Hive, I might make this a Flash/Ward (Just as Warning), the speed force revived and fixed him then spit him out on Earth-1

Summary: After dying as Hive, Ward some how finds himself alive on another Earth rescued by Team Flash. He knows that whatever happened to changed him, because he can honestly feel emotions he’s never felt before including grief, regret, and disgust over his past actions. A brain scan shows him that he no longer has the chemical imbalance that made him a psychopath. Can he work towards redemption for himself?

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Flash FlashVibe A/B/O

Status: N/A

Tags: FlashVibe, A/B/O, Flashpoint w/o Savitar, Miscarriage, mpreg, Hurt & Comfort

Summary: After the Flashpoint is set in stone, Barry experiences an unexpected miscarriage from a pregnancy he didn’t know about. Cisco isn’t speaking to him over Dante, so he can’t bear to tell him and makes Caitlin keep it a secret and he moves out of Cisco’s apartment. Eventually he finds out and they have to figure out how to move forward.

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All my prompts that aren’t fully worked out enough for summaries:

Five Reasons Barry Allen Needs a Dog

Thallen A/B/O

Allenbert Harry Potter AU

SinghAllen (One-shot?)

Uncle Coulson AU (He’s Barry’s Uncle)

Glee/Flash Twin AU

One-Shots of Pre-Canon Joe West/Cecile Horton Dating/Being Married

Some sort of Nerd Polyamory FitzSimmons & Barry Allen

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fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan · 5 years

Text

Night on the Town - Alex Tuch

Request: Can you write some Alex Tuch fluff plz

Notes: I had a blast writing this one, I honestly couldn’t stop smiling while I was working on this one.

We had a huge win tonight and no games for the next three nights so some of us decided to hit the Las Vegas strip and blow off some steam. That is how I found myself in a loud casino with a beer in my hand as we wandered around, just joking and having fun. Reilly shoved me causing me to bump into someone and spill my beer on them. “Oh shit.” I turned around to see a beautiful brunette woman who came up to my chest, surrounded by other women who were probably her friends. “I am so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, I wasn’t sure if I liked this dress anyway.”

“Em, our uber is here.” Her one friend said as my teammates started to talk to her friends.

“You guys go ahead, I’ll change and meet you guys at the club. Andrea can’t cancel another ride on uber or she is going to get kicked off the service.” That got a laugh out of her friends before Rielly asked what club they were going to, before asking if we could tag along.

“You sure? Are you okay to get there on your own?”

“I can wait behind with you and we can head over together, if that’s cool with you?” I was so mesmerized with the small brunette that didn’t seem upset that I had almost knocked her over and spilt beer all over her. Her blue eyes pulled me in the instant I looked into them.

“Sounds like we have a plan. You guys go, I’ll shoot off a text when we are leaving here.” Her friends nodded and headed off with my teammates. “I’m Emiline, by the way. ”

“Alex.”

“Good goal tonight during the second.” Emiline stated as we stepped into the elevator and she pressed the button for her floor.

“You know who I am?”

“Yeah, I tried to convince my friends to go to the game tonight but I was outvoted. But I did have the game on while we were getting ready, so I got to watch it at least.” Following her down the hall, I stopped as she opened the door to her room. It looked like they had gotten a suite with a small living room when you first stepped into the room. “I should just be a few minutes.”

“Take your time.” I sat down on the couch and pulled out my phone answering some texts while I waited. I honestly expected to be here for at least an hour but 20 minutes later I heard the door behind me open, turning around I was stunned to see her hair damp and she was in a new dress. A dress that looked even more amazing on her, the last dress had been black one that hugged the curves of her body. This one was a dark maroon color hugged her waist before flaring out, stopping mid thigh. I was trying not to check her out but it was a challenge. “Wow, you look amazing.”

“Thank you. Sorry I took so long. I realized I also smelled like beer along with my dress.”

“I can’t believe you were so quick. My sister Leah takes forever to get ready, we have to tell her that we are leaving an hour before we actually need to be ready so she is almost on time. And some of my teammates have the same problem with their wives and girlfriends.”

“I’m pretty good at getting ready quickly, I’m a nurse in the emergency department and my shift starts at 6 in the morning so I got good at getting ready quickly so that I could still sleep a decent amount.” We headed out of the hotel room, as we headed downstairs I pulled out my phone to order an uber for us.

“Our ride should be here by the time we get downstairs.” Emiline opened her mouth like she wanted to argue but then shut it and nodded.

“Thank you.” I spotted the car right away, opening the back door for her to slide in before I got in too. Our driver started chatting about all of the fun things to do on the strip, not even allowing us to say anything for the entire drive down the strip to the hotel that held the club that Emiline and her friends were planning on going to. I watched as she nodded to the driver as she braided her hair, the guy just kept talking. We both thanked the man before we left laughing as we entered the hotel and figured out where we were going. “I honestly thought he would never shut up!”

“I know, right! I’ve had some odd uber drivers, but he is one of the strangest.” Emiline slowed as we got to the club, seeing the end of a long line. “Why are you stopping?”

“There is a line.”

“Come on, I can get us in.” I take her hand in mine, ignoring my heart beating faster at holding her hand. She seemed reluctant to follow me but finally she relented, allowing me to steer her towards the entrance of the club her friends were in with my teammates. The bouncer nodded when we walked up to him asking to see ID on both of us, before nodding and telling me he caught part of the game tonight. I nodded as we headed in, glad that my somewhat celebrity status that I held in this city could help me impress Emiline.

As soon as we entered the club the music was loud and booming, Emiline staying closer to my side as people bumped into us. “Do you see them?” She had to stand on her tiptoes to get her mouth close enough to my ear that I could hear her over the music. Searching around I spotted them in the VIP area.

“Yeah, follow me.” I took her hand again, feeling her other hand holding onto my arm as we moved across the crowded club. The bouncer for the VIP section just nodded as we approached, letting us in without a word. All of our friends cheered as soon as they saw us, raising drinks in our direction.

“You guys made it!” Emiline was pulled away by her girlfriends and my teammates took me to the bar for a drink. “You like her, don’t you?”

“I think I do, but I’ve only known her for an hour.”

“Don’t get too attached she is a tourist and only here for a limited time.” Ryan said patting my back as the bartender handed me my beer.

“I know, but I think she might be special. I would be willing to do long distance if she is.”

“More power to you.” I turned around to see Emiline looking over at me as one of her friends was talking to her, she was nodding her head at whatever her friend said before smiling and ducking her head. Our two groups seemed to blend together nicely, sitting around a table, chatting when people weren't on the dance floor. After a few hours we were all getting hungry so we left the club, heading to a restaurant in the hotel that was basically a diner and was open 24 hours. We all piled into a large table in the back chatting more and having a blast. As some of the group was in the bathroom, I turned to where Emiline was sitting next to me. “Do you want to get out of here? Just the two of us?”

“Yeah.” When everyone was back at the table we both stood up, holding hands as our friends looked at us. “We are gonna go hang out by the pool at our hotel. I know you guys wanted to hit up somewhere else but I can't do another crowd like that club."

"Just promise if you two decided to get married on the strip you call us first so we can come." Her one friend responded, causing Emiline to give her the middle finger and making everyone laugh. I threw down some money for our food before I took her hand as we ran off, my teammates yelling about protection. I flipped them off as we hurried off, laughing as we left the restaurant.

We got a cab back to her hotel, walking through the hotel hand in hand as we followed signs for the pool. “I have no clue what the pool looks like, we have been here for four days and I haven’t been anywhere near the pool. I honestly don’t even know if I packed a bathing suit.”

“I always forget something when I am packing, my teammates have actually taken bets on what I would forget. Usually it is my tooth brush or socks, you would think with how much I travel that you would think I have a system but I don’t.” We got to the pool and it was absolutely empty so we had our choice of lounge chairs but we sat down on a wider one, I sat up near the head of the chair and she sat near the feet. “What is it like being a nurse?”

“It’s intense but so rewarding. Some days all I want to do at the end of my shift is sleep for a month straight and other days I feel like I could run a marathon. It can be a lot to deal with some days, I’ve watched people die and I’ve saved lives. One day a little boy was in because his older sister broke her arm playing soccer and he ended up choking on the snack he was having, I had to perform the heimlich on him. It was scary because it was one of my first days that I wasn’t supervised at work.”

“Wow, that’s incredible.”

“My entire life I’ve known that I wanted to help people and being a nurse was just the obvious path.” As she spoke, I watched her eyes light up because she was so passionate about her profession. “Am I boring you? You can tell me shut up, my friends always tell me I talk too much.”

“No, I honestly think I could listen to you talk forever.” Emiline blushed, smiling at me. “Can I kiss you?” She nodded, biting her lip as I moved closer. I cupped her cheek once I was close enough, leaning in and pressing my lips to hers. Kissing her made my heart thump in my chest, just confirming my suspicion that I couldn’t let this just be a one night thing. So I pulled back from the kiss, wanting to continue kissing her and take it further, but knowing that if I wanted something more serious that I needed to take this slow. I pulled Emiline up the lounge chair with me, pulling her into my side. We both stayed quiet just enjoying the noise of the waterfall in the pool

Eventually I needed to know how long I had to convince her that we could make a relationship work. “When do you and your friends check out of the hotel?” She picked up my arm, looking at my watch before answering.

“In about 10 hours.” That wasn’t a lot of time, but I would do what I could.

“Okay, what time is your flight?”

“Flight?”

“Yeah, how long do I have before I need to say goodbye to you? I was hoping I would have more time to get to know you before you went home. I don’t know about you but I feel like we had an amazing connection and I wanted to see where it could go. How far away do you live?”

“Like 10 minutes.”

“What?”

“I live in an apartment complex 10 minutes off the strip. I work at the UNLV medical center hospital. I graduated from UNLV last year, and I grew up in Henderson which is like 20 minutes away from here. I’m a desert girl through in through, hate to break it to you.”

“But, you’re staying at a hotel and doing tourist things.”

“Yeah, my friends and I once a year do all of the tourist stuff Las Vegas has to offer. One of the girls works for MGM and gets a discount on unbooked hotel rooms, so we wait for a great deal and have a girls’ weekend. Most of us still live and work here, only a few of them have to fly out tomorrow since they now live in different cities.”

“So you live here?”

“Yes.”

“Can I take you out tomorrow for a date?”

“Yes.” Smiling, I kissed Emiline again. I was so glad that this worked out better than I thought.

Request are open!!!!

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peterstanslizzie · 4 years

Text

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.21 (Lizzie Strikes Out)

This is basically how I look like when I’m feeling conflicted, except I’m not as pretty when I make this face lol

- We begin this episode with our trio revealing to each other what their most embarrassing moments were. For Lizzie, it’s when she ripped her pants in front of the entire class and for Gordo, it’s when his fingers got stuck in a bowling ball and he had to get it surgically removed.

- As for Miranda, her most embarrassing moment was when she threw up whilst singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas” in a choir. To her detriment, she reveals this piece of information just when Ethan joins them at their table. This causes Miranda further embarrassment.

- Ethan tells Gordo that he won’t be able to watch the movie, ‘Psycho’ this Friday night because he and his friends are going bowling. Miranda quickly tells Ethan that they also have plans to go bowling on Friday but we all know that it’s a white lie.

Hurrah! Looks like they’re going bowling with Ethan! And as usual, Gordo isn’t exactly excited about it. Get some guy friends Gordo...sheesh.

Sam Wants To Hang Out With His Daughter

- As the title suggests, Sam feels like he doesn’t know who his daughter is anymore since she’s a teenager in her own little world. He comes up with an idea to take Lizzie out for dinner on Friday night and spend some quality time with his daughter. He wants to be, as he puts it, “down” with the kids. Well, good luck with that...

- Meanwhile, Matt is with Lanny sitting on the couch and apparently, we find out that Heywood Briggs is still a bully. I’m kinda surprised that he made another appearance here; I thought we’ve seen the last of him when he got chained to a statue at the mini golf course in episode 1.17.

Here is that little scoundrel’s face again. Honestly, he needs to be expelled from school asap because he’s a terrible person and his parents are morons for raising a kid like that. Of course, this is not directed to the actual actor who played Heywood

- They think that if they were to workout and build more muscle, this might prompt Heywood to leave them alone. What about telling your parents about Heywood? That should help solve everything, I think.

- We then get to Sam asking Lizzie if she would like to have dinner with him on Friday. Things get pretty awkward because Lizzie’s isn’t so sure what she should say but she goes ahead and tentatively says yes to him.

Is the word, “Coolio-ness” in the ‘How To Talk To Your Kids” guidebook?

Gordo is a Good Boy

- At the outdoor school lunch area, Gordo is busy reading a book about bowling, titled “This Dude Strikes Out” because he doesn’t want to embarrass himself on Friday. Miranda questions him on why he’s reading that book since she assumes he isn’t even going to come along.

- Apparently, Gordo changed his mind because he wants to face his fears. Miranda is on board with helping him as she wants to teach him how to relax when bowling. She is teaching him mantras to say in order to build his confidence up and she also gives him treats to reaffirm this, just like a trainer with their dog.

Miranda comes up with such outrageous ideas sometimes lol

- Lizzie tells her friends that she’s having dinner with her dad this Friday night but she failed to remember that she already made plans for bowling with Ethan on that same night. Lizzie thought that it was happening on Saturday. Do not mess up your days and dates guys and gals!

- Lizzie is conflicted because she has to make a decision between cancelling on her dad or Ethan. The clear answer to her is to cancel on her dad but you can tell that Lizzie doesn’t want to let him down.

- Back at the Mcguire home, Matt doesn’t think that working out is doing any favours and they decide to make themselves invisible by painting themselves white and blending in with the white walls to make Heywood not notice them.

Clearly, you ain’t fooling nobody

Lizzie Makes A Tough Decision

- Sam asks Lizzie if she would like to have Indian food for dinner on Friday but Lizzie musters enough courage to tell him if they could reschedule their dinner since she’s already going bowling with her friends. I don’t fault her for having to cancel on her dad but I didn’t particularly like how she said they can spend time together if he drives her to the bowling alley.

I feel so bad for Sam!

- At school, Miranda is continuing with her non-traditional practice of teaching Gordo how to bowl by asking him to imagine himself as the ball and the pins. But when he does it, he freaks out. Really now? It seems to me like Gordo has a deep-rooted fear of bowling.

- All of a sudden, we see Mr. Dig riding on his scooter and crashes himself into a tree! Umm what was that about? Is this meant to be for a lesson that he wants to convey to the kids? I’m confused...

Did Miranda just call Mr. Dig, Mr. Diggs? Like Diggs for Taye Diggs? And she said it more than once

- Back at the Mcguire home, Matt and Lanny are planning an ambush on Lizzie to simulate what they will eventually do to Heywood. Lizzie steps on something sticky on the floor and gets caught in it. Next, Matt and Lanny wrap cling film all around her to restrict her movement. Afterwards, the usual happens; Lizzie calls their mom and y’all know the rest. Anyways, I will wrap up Matt’s storyline in this paragraph: Heywood gets into an accident whilst skateboarding and had to miss school. Well, good for Matt and Lanny then.

- In Lizzie’s room, Jo is helping Lizzie to remove the gunk that’s stuck on the sole of her shoe and she tells her that she knows Lizzie cancelled her dinner date with Sam. Jo seems totally okay with it because she knows that teenagers tend to prioritise their friends more than their parents and that’s just how it is.

- However, Lizzie doesn’t feel comfortable about the idea that kids her age are usually like that. She feels guilty about ditching her dad so that she could hang out with her friends. I have a sneaky suspicion that Jo was trying to guilt-trip Lizzie, just based on the tone of her voice.

It takes a lot of maturity, especially at that age to realise you’ve made a mistake.

It’s Time To Bowl

Lizzie makes a strike with bowling and with Ethan

- It’s Gordo’s turn to play and he makes a gutter ball but hey, he is proud of it because he had fun. And Miranda is happy for him too. Ethan is confused as to why Gordo is so happy for not taking down a single pin and Gordo takes cue from Miranda and tries to give him some deep advice but as usual, Ethan just doesn’t get it. Plus, he seems legit scared of Gordo.

Look at his face! He looks really frightened lol

- Turns out, Lizzie made the best decision she possibly could and actually invited her dad to join her and her friends for bowling. She then apologises to her dad for how she acted towards him. Sam in turn, is really glad that Lizzie has included him in her plans.

All’s well that ends well

Overall Thoughts

- I feel like this is the perfect episode for Father’s Day or something; It is that wholesome. I remember in one of my earlier reviews that I was looking forward to see more development in the relationship between Lizzie and Sam just because we’ve seen a lot of strides made in Lizzie and Jo’s relationship. So, it’s really refreshing to see how Lizzie actually does care about her dad and doesn’t want to make him feel excluded from her life.

- I also like how Gordo and Miranda were mostly together in this episode. Sometimes, I feel like there wasn’t much of a connection made between those two characters prior to this episode. Therefore, I do like how Miranda was being supportive of Gordo and trying to help him overcome his fears. I hope to see more of this kind of story-line involving these two.

- Matt’s storyline with Lanny was in the words of Avril Lavigne, “so whatever”. I don’t understand the point of bringing back Heywood, even if he didn’t actually appear on screen in real-time, only in flashbacks. It’s already been established that he’s Matt’s bully a few episodes ago but this episode didn’t really do much to expand on that except only to take him out and make him injured due to a skateboarding accident.

#lizzie mcguire #hilary duff #lalaine #jake thomas #robert carradine #hallie todd #adam lamberg #clayton snyder #disney plus #disney channel #fathers day #father and daughter #teen parenting #teen comedy #disney episodes #episode review #episode recap #old disney #disney nostalgia

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psychocalixtelove · 6 years

Text

Maus and Wolfie

For @ryakbm123

A/N: I changed this from the original idea that I had, but quite honestly, I think this is a better idea.

********

Luisa knew she had to protect Beca. From the moment they met, Luisa knew she had to protect Beca at all costs because if she died, so did Luisa. To sum up the background, Luisa was half veela, half werewolf, and Beca, who was half fairy, was Luisa's mate. From birth, they were decided to be soulmates, but only Luisa knew it.

Neither knew of the other's supernatural abilities and it was this lack of knowledge that kept their friendship going. Well, now that they were almost full adults, they were more like friends with certain benefits where the rule was only after drinking in excess.

So one could probably guess where they were after two hours of drinking and dancing with other high schoolers in the middle of the forest. But the funny thing about being supernatural, alcohol barely affected any of them, or not at all if fully supernatural. And not to mention the increased sex drive.

Luisa held Beca underneath the thighs as she hoisted the smaller girl up against the tree in front of her and wrapped the small legs around her waist. Beca was fervently attacking Luisa's lips and grinding against her friend in order to get relief from the intense desire between her legs.

"Do you want me to?" Luisa whispered in the fairy's ear while grinding erotically into her. The blonde wanted to check if her friend was up to having sex because she was slightly drunk. The fairy wrapped her arms around the blonde's shoulders and breathed, "I'm all yours baby." Luisa smirked at the pet name and kissed up the slender neck she wanted to ravage so badly.

"Then prepare for all I've got." The statement couldn't have been hotter with the pure seduction dripping from the werewolf's deep voice. In an instant, Beca found her pants undone and Luisa's fingers inside of her, going at an inhuman pace. The bass from the speakers at the party a mile away could be heard from where they were and Luisa used this as the basis for her pace.

Though, before she knew it, Beca had climaxed and came all over her hand. Luisa was delighted nonetheless, but she wished it lasted longer. A hungry look overtook Beca's eyes and she forced herself down off of Luisa's hips. She flipped their positions so the taller was against the tree. The smaller had already undone her friend's shirt and was kissing down the toned abs she envied so much.

She nipped at them a second before looking up to see the half veela with her eyes closed and hands gripping the tree tightly. In truth, Luisa was slowly transforming and she had her eyes closed because they were glowing blue like they usually did when she shifted. Her nails had turned black and grew to a point that she had to keep hidden so she held the tree for support.

This only happened around Beca. Since the half human was her mate, Luisa had a difficult time covering up her minor shifts that would indicate she wasn't human. And times like this were even more difficult because her mate was touching and kissing intimate places on her body. Her black skinny jeans were opened and pulled down enough to expose herself to the kneeling Beca.

The brunette ran a finger through the blonde's folds to elicit a response and got a violent scream with a sudden hand in her hair. "God, please Maus!" Luisa made sure to keep her arm stiff so she didn't do anything stupid and cradled the brunette's head in her hand. Taking it as pleading, Beca didn't wait any longer to provide the contact so desperately wanted.

A loud cry came from Luisa's mouth as she felt the fairy's magic tongue and fingers go to work on her and in almost no time at all, she shuddered dramatically with her orgasm. Beca hurried to get Luisa cleaned up because her favorite part of these hookups were the cuddling afterward.

She enjoyed the sense of protection she got from being in the long arms of her friend. She knew there was something between them but she didn't know what. She had the slight suspicion that Luisa knew, but she couldn't get the blonde to say anything. Luisa purposefully didn't tell Beca because if she confessed her feelings and got rejected, she simply died of a broken heart.

All werewolves thought the idea was horrendous, but the few that actually did die were the brave ones. Luisa's father, for example, had confessed his love (and consequently his werewolf abilities) for Luisa's mother Victoria three days before their wedding. Victoria immediately reciprocated the feelings because she herself was a veela who had a similar concept.

Luisa loved her parents and their story even more, which made her wonder how her and Beca's story would turn out. As she laid down on the ground, the wolf took the fairy into her arms and held her close enough to press a kiss to her forehead. The smaller girl kissed her cuddler on the lips and settled onto the warm chest beneath her. Luisa thanked the heavens that her shifts had gone back to normal.

"Do you ever wonder if two people could be more than friends?" Luisa asked, hinting at them. Beca lifted her head and looked the other woman in the eyes. She cupped the soft cheek in front of her and kissed the creature the cheek belonged to. "Well if I was completely sober, I'd tell you that I don't want a relationship with anybody. But since I'm slightly drunk, I'm going to tell you that all of that is bullshit."

Luisa laughed at the small girl's response and kissed her again. Luisa did have a chance with her friend to be more, she just had to be wary about how to tell her.

Suddenly, the two heard low growling heading toward them. Luisa especially. They sat up in a rush and looked around frantically. Beca couldn't see anything, but Luisa knew who was coming for them. Pieter. He had a vendetta against Luisa for betraying him and their pack, which resulted in Luisa's Omega status. Pieter was the alpha of the pack now and one of his goals was to kill Luisa and her mate who Pieter knew was Beca.

A collection of three black wolves, one with red eyes, the others with yellow. Pieter and two betas, Aksel and Heidi, stalked toward the werewolf and her mate eerily slowly like typical entrances in Teen Wolf. Beca was instantly scared, but Luisa stayed where she was. The wolves got closer until Luisa stood up.

"Run, Beca. Now, Beca! Run!" Luisa shouted, commanding Beca away. She didn't want to expose herself as a werewolf in front of the one person that could kill her with one word. Nodding her head, Beca took off for Luisa's house as fast as she could. She worried about Luisa no doubt, but she trusted Luisa enough to know that she'd never leave her without knowing she'd come back.

Luisa watched her friend's receding figure before turning back to the small gathering of wolves. "You don't have to do this," she tried convincing Pieter. Since he was in shifted form, he communicated telepathically. "I know, Lu. But now I want to." Pieter jumped at Luisa with his jaws spread wide in the hopes of killing her immediately, but she grabbed his jaw and threw him away in time.

When he recovered, he barked once and the others knew what to do. He was going to kill Beca while Aksel and Heidi killed Luisa. The half veela knew she had to act fast before her mate was killed. She jumped into the air, did a somersault, and landed in her full shift.

Her white hair glistened against the moonlight like fresh milk at dawn as her Omega blue eyes sparkled like ice. Her fur had dark undertones supported by the natural eyeliner around her eyes to give a more drastic effect. She drove her paws into the ground and threw herself at the two wolves. She clawed Aksel in the shoulder while she got a good bite on Heidi's arm. Both whimpered at the pain, but didn't stop.

They tried to go for her throat with all their might. Aksel jumped up from behind while Heidi went straight for her. All Luisa did was roll out of the way so Aksel jumped onto Heidi and seriously injured them both. Seeing they were unable to fight anymore, Luisa ran as fast as she could to find Beca. Luckily for her, she knew where Beca was all the time because of their mate bond.

She didn't stop running in the direction she sensed Beca, not even when she heard a ear-splitting shriek and a large burst of light come from a not so far distance. She only sped up, despite the pain her lungs were in. When she got there, she found Beca nearly passed out with Pieter back to his human form and unconscious. No matter how much she wanted to tear him to bits right then, she controlled herself and went to see if Beca was alright.

The brunette's original reaction was to back away in fear that the white wolf would hurt her. When Luisa realized this, she stopped herself and knew now was the time. To Beca's surprise, the white wolf made to stand up and when the creature was fully erect, Luisa stood before her with a few scratches on her. The smaller girl's eyes went wide and her breathing quickened before she fainted and went unconscious. Luisa looked at both her unconscious mate and ex-alpha and said, "Damnit."

********

"Just take her home, Luisa. There's nothing else you can do," Victoria explained, running a hand through her white blonde hair. Luisa held half unconscious Beca in her arms and was pleading with her mother to let the girl stay the night, but her mother knew better than that. "Please, Mutter. I have to protect her. She's in danger," Luisa begged, tears obvious in her voice.

"Why would she be in danger? Have you told her? Please tell me you didn't tell her." Victoria was worried now. If her daughter had told Beca about their mate hood, Victoria couldn't imagine what pain she'd feel.

"I didn't tell her about that, I just . . . transformed in front of her." The shock on Victoria's face was evident and she couldn't hide her disapproval. "I'm sorry, Mama. We came under attack by Pieter-"

Victoria held a hand up to silence her daughter and thought for a moment. She went to the inebriated girl in Luisa's arms, saw the consciousness coming back, and explained quickly, "I'm going to wipe as much of her memory of this night as I can because I can't remove life-changing information, then you're going to take her back home and stay the night on her roof. I know how weird that sounds, but if you insist on protecting her."

Luisa nodded her head and watched her mother perform her magic. Victoria waved a hand over Beca's face, which put her to sleep again, and removed all the recollections she could, but one. That was the moment Luisa shifted from wolf to human. Victoria tried her best remove part of it, but she could only remove the element of reality to it so the memory now seemed like a dream.

"Now go. Make it seem like she was never at that party."

"Thanks, Mum."

********

"Hey Becs! That party last night was fun, wasn't it?" Chloe asked, watching Beca gather her stuff from her locker. Beca grabbed her last binder and shut her locker fiercely. "No, Chlo! For the last time, I wasn't at that party." Beca was pissed. Why couldn't Chloe understand that she hadn't been there? Because Chloe saw her there and thanks to Veela Victoria, Beca couldn't remember it.

Chloe sensed the indignant response and knowing her friend enough, knew not to question it until Beca had figured it out herself. "Well, I'll see you in fourth, I guess," Chloe dismissed, walking to her first period. Beca huffed out a heavy breath, ran her fingers through her hair, and leaned back against the lockers. Luisa took notice of the distress and walked down the hall to greet her best friend, whom she may or may not have been watching over since the night before.

"Hallo, Maus. Are you okay?" Luisa sounded genuinely concerned, and when Beca looked up to her, she saw a familiar look in the blue eyes. A vague memory or dream came to mind for Beca and all she could see now was a brilliant white wolf with piercing blue eyes. She was inherently scared but irrationally so she didn't understand her reaction.

Beca flushed of all color and her grip on her books tightened to the point her knuckles turned white. Luisa could tell this reaction was because of her so she didn't step closer but she asked, "Are you alright, Maus?" Beca managed to snap herself out of the fear she was in and demanded, "Tell me what you are, now. I know you're not human so what are you?"

Luisa wasn't expecting the question to come out like that but she answered honestly. "I'm half werewolf, half veela." Beca's jaw dropped a considerable amount at the confession, but she was more in terror about the memories coming back to her. All she could see were red eyes chasing her and gnashing teeth trying to tear her throat out. She realized the creature after her the night before was also a werewolf she knocked unconscious with all the magic she had.

"W-Why did you save me?" was all Beca could ask. She knew they were friends with occasional benefits, but was that enough to risk one's life? She didn't think so, but now she'd find out why. "Because . . . you're my mate." Luisa stared at the ground while she scratched the back of her head. Beca was in shock once more. "What does that mean?"

"It's means that since we were born, me specifically, we were destined to meet and fall in love, etc." Beca was still very confused about what Luisa meant and used her eyes to ask for more information. Luisa's heartbeat started beating faster and faster and she knew that was because she had told Beca, but not the most important part. Luisa grabbed Beca's hand and dragged her to the nearest bathroom that happened to be empty.

"What are you-" Beca asked, getting cut off by Luisa. The blonde raised her friend's hand until it came to rest over her heart, which was racing. The brunette was silenced immediately. "Wh-What . . . " was all the fae could mutter, though the veela knew exactly what she meant to say. "I love you, Maus. I have loved you since the day we met," Luisa clarified, holding Beca's hand in hers.

The sincerity in Luisa's words and sparkling blue irises was met with awkwardness and red cheeks. Beca retracted her hand uncomfortably and shifted in her place as she looked down at the ground. "I'm, I'm sorry. I . . . I . . . I need to think about this," Beca confessed before turning and leaving Luisa. Though her heart slowed down, the blonde could barely breathe and barely regulate anything with her body.

A sweat started to form on her upper lip and she felt extremely hot all of a sudden. She removed her hoodie and bent over the sink. She gripped the edge tightly as she felt sweat roll down her back in cold lines. A shift was coming over her that she couldn't stop and when she opened her eyes to look in the mirror, her eyes shined the usual blue, but her pupil began to cover her irises slowly. In three days, they'd be completely covered and she'd die of a broken heart.

Tears swam down her cheeks and she went to wipe them away, but accidentally cut herself on the claws that had grown from the shift. She hurried to fix herself up and retract her nails so she appeared normal, then headed to class. By the time she got there, Beca was sitting in their normal seats, but she knew better than to rush her death so she sat in the far back corner. She resigned herself to stay away from Beca until she passed on so the brunette had no clue.

********

As the three days passed, Luisa became weaker and weaker for several reasons. The first being Beca's indirect rejection. That had been a factor since the beginning. But in more recent times, Pieter and his pack had shown up at her house late at night while she was sleeping and tried to kill her out of revenge. Her father and mother obviously protected her and the house enough to fend them off.

Finally, even living made her weaker. The morning of the third day, Victoria made all the meat they had in the house and had Luisa eat as much of it as she could for strength, but that didn't stop the older veela from crying her eyes out as her daughter left for school. So Luisa wandered the halls close to dead and was left vulnerable.

Seeing weakness, Pieter casually passed her and forced her onto the wall. He picked her up by the shirt collar and brought her up so her feet weren't touching the ground. "I would love to rip your throat out now, but all I have to do now is wait because your little mate did that for me," he sneered, dropping her like a rag doll. She fell to her knees because he couldn't catch herself in time and collected her backpack.

She stood, glanced down the hall, and saw Beca's face. She was helpless at seeing her best friend so defenseless and had visible tears in her eyes. Beca subconsciously knew she was the cause of Luisa's lamentable state and wanted desperately to have her friend back, but she still didn't understand one thing. And she was determined to understand.

They broke eye contact and Luisa rushed home. She didn't talk to her mother more than, "Hi" before she stayed in her bed to wait for her heart to give out. Tears ran across the bridge of her nose as she cried herself to sleep and formed a pounding headache. She could hear her parents moving around downstairs and could hear the doorbell ring. She didn't know who it was nor did she care, she just rolled onto her back and drifted off to half sleep.

"Hey, Beca. It's always nice to see you," Victoria invites, opening the door for the small girl. Luisa only heard what was going on and didn't react fast enough because the next thing she heard was, "She's up in her room if you want to talk to her." The door was opened by Beca and in an instant, Luisa was standing up by her window with her back pressed firmly against the wall.

"Wait, Luisa. I just want to talk to you," Beca pleaded, shutting and locking the door.

"About what? Because it's clear you don't want me anymore."

"I never said that, Luisa. I just needed to think and . . . "

"And what?" Luisa was sounding a bit hopeful that Beca would just confess her love and she wouldn't die.

"I still don't understand something." All the hope Luisa had dissipated in that sentence and she covered her face with her hands. Beca saw the sad resolution and quickly tried to refute it. "I just need to know if you're able to control yourself while in your wolf form." The redundant look on Luisa's face should have answered Beca's question, but her not being on to pick up on social cues, she didn't get it.

"What do you expect me to do? Transform and not kill you?" Luisa asked, hoping to get the conversation finished. Beca looked around awkwardly before settling her eyes on her best friend across the room. "If that works, yes." Luisa's heart beat faster than ever before and she worried about overworking it with the transformation, but the spark of hope in the back of her mind seemed to calm it down.

"Fine, but you have to leave afterward," Luisa agreed, feeling Beca would leave after seeing her wolf. The brunette nodded her head and watched in anticipation as Luisa got angry enough to trigger a full shift. The fae was surprised enough by the large white wolf in front of her that she backed up against the door and slid down until she was siting on the floor. Luisa, currently an angry wolf, stalked toward the small girl slowly as she attempted to calm herself down to not scare Beca away.

The brunette force herself to calm down so she didn't immediately run out of the room and held out her hand to touch Luisa's snout. The wolf growled lowly when she saw the hand, but continued to pad toward the girl. When Beca's hand made contact with Luisa's surprisingly soft fur, both were tranquil. They understood how they were destined to love each other and how their hearts beat in sync as if it had done so for all eternity.

Luisa went forward more and pressed her face more into the small hand. Her eyes closed and her heart beat faster. Beca took the wolf's head in her hands and essentially petted the beautiful dog in front of her. She could see Luisa in the animal and she knew she loved both sides. When she pressed her forehead to the wolf's with a smile on her face, Luisa shifted back to a human on her hands and knees and cupped Beca's cheek.

She could feel herself giving out and made the most of her last moments. Luisa pressed a gentle kiss to Beca's lips before whispering, "I love you." Luisa pulled away, struggled a bit, then fell to the floor limply. Beca yelped loudly and turned Luisa onto her back with the blonde head in her lap. She brushed the hair out of Luisa's face and yelled, "Luisa!" The blonde simply brushed her fingers against the brunette's cheek and let a smile grace her lips before closing her eyes to her death.

Her heart stopped beating as soon as her hand fell to her chest and Beca was left with the love in her heart. Beca began crying loudly at the loss of Luisa and couldn't stop herself. Victoria knew based off the lamenting that her daughter had been taken. She burst into the room seconds later and demanded, "What happened?"

"I-I asked her to transform so I would know she wouldn't hurt me in her wolf form, and, and she . . . she died. It's all my fault!" Beca cried, leaning down to kiss Luisa's cold lips. Victoria kept her emotions in check as she kneeled down beside her daughter and took vitals. Luisa had truly died. The mother was quick to respond in the dire situation and asked Beca, "You're half fairy, right?"

The brunette nodded her head and simply followed the instructions given by the older woman since she had not clue what to do. "Alright, then. I'm going to give you a spell and you need to cast it with all your magic but you need to make sure that if you truly love my daughter, you need to put all the emotion you can into this bitch or else she is gone forever."

Victoria recited the slur of words to Beca and made her repeat them aloud so she had them correct. Then, the taller woman stood up and stepped back to allow Beca enough room to perform her magic. The tiny brunette placed her hands over Luisa's heart and stomach after she moved to be next to the fresh corpse and took a deep breath.

All she had to do now was perform the spell and she'd have her best friend back. But what happened if she couldn't bring Luisa back? Or if she did, would Luisa expect a relationship? Saving her life would definitely show that Beca loved her and the thought was too much to handle. Beca was not ready for any sort of relationship outside of friendship, but she couldn't stop the warm thoughts of Luisa coming to mind.

Focusing back on the situation, Beca breathed through her tears and cast the spell with all the emotion she had inside her. For Beca, the experience was very draining in every sense of the word. For Victoria, the bright light was nothing compared to what she saw in the light. Once the light and the vision faded, Beca had fainted from extreme loss of energy and Luisa laid unconscious by her.

Victoria instantly felt guilty because she thought Beca had died trying the powerful spell, but then she saw both of the girls rustle in their places on the floor. Without thinking, the teenagers sprung up into seated positions next to each other in a fit of adrenaline. Their hearts pounded with how close they were in proximity. As if they knew what to do, the two were immediately furiously kissing.

When they pulled away for air, Beca had found herself situated in Luisa's lap and staring into the bright blue eyes in front of her. Tears streaked their faces while they emotionally embraced each other. "I love you, Maus," Luisa whispered, not caring anymore. Beca felt their hearts comfort at the confession and she knew she had to tell Luisa then.

Hands firmly on the blonde's shoulders, Beca pushed Luisa away from her awkwardly. When Luisa looked confused, Victoria calmly excused herself while Beca brushed hair behind her ear and looked into her lap. Once the door was shut, Luisa reached up slowly to take Beca's cheek in her palm and refocus the girl's gaze. "What's wrong, Maus? Do you not love me?" Luisa choked out, utterly confused.

Beca breathed raggedly as she fought back tears to explain, "You wouldn't be alive if I didn't love you. But that's not it." Luisa was still confused by the way her eyebrows were pulled together. The brunette huffed out a breath, looked her friend in the eyes, and confessed, "Look, I'm not ready for a relationship. I love you, Luisa. I really do, but . . . I'm just not ready for the girlfriend thing."

The blonde's expression softened at the explanation before she whispered, "Oh, Beca," and hugged the girl in her lap. "That's all I needed to hear. I mean, I can't say I'm thrilled about not being your girlfriend, but I didn't expect that from you." She pulled away and held both sides of Beca's face. "All I've ever wanted from you since the day we met was your love. Now that I have it, I'll be fine. But you must promise me, when you're ready, you allow me to take you on a date to properly ask you."

"Alright, Wolfie." They kissed once more and rested their foreheads against each other's for a moment. Luisa recalled the nickname she got called and looked into the brunette's eyes. "Wolfie?"

"I couldn't think of anything better."

"God, I love you."

"Love you too. But, let me know the next time we might be attacked by Pieter please."

"I have to protect you, remember? You're my Maus. And I'm your Wolfie."

#becommissar #fantasy #fanfic #fan fic #werewolf #veela fic #fairy #request

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asheewrites · 4 years

Text

Doctor Visiting - Paris - pt 1

Amurel held open the door for the ‘chief doctor of the clinic’ and Lady Raphael walked out, still asking them: “What could possibl-“

She looked at the entrance and saw Asmodeus, immediately running a hand through her hair and blinking, posture changing to straight up and open, her clipboard at the side instead in front of her chest: “Ah… welcome!”

“I was just in the area,” he said, leaning against the counter, “We agreed you need a break from time to time, want to grab lunch?”

Her eyebrows shot up and she looked back at the now closed door, then Amurel: “I… my appointments-“

“-can be managed by other physicians. No therapy is scheduled for today, there is only one ‘always available’ spot and-,” they gestured towards Asmodeus, “-would you look at that”

Raphael tilted her head and made a face at her receptionist.

“He is right, you know? Go, a more relaxed doctor in chief is a positive thing,” they said, already reaching for the clipboard.

With a huff, she handed it over and took off her doctor’s coat, already walking to the entrance: “Thanks, Amurel”

She grabbed a coat from behind the counter and then simply stood next to him, looking up into his face. Only slightly. But she had to look up. He realised Raphael never stood and wasn’t a flurry of movement at the same time. And she said: “I’d love to, actually,” pulling a strand of hair behind her ear.

He looked at her and her apparently immediately cancelled plans, shaking his head after a moment of wondering silence and said: “Well, if your plans actually allow it” - Amurel gave a thumbs up behind Raphael - “I suppose it’s time to eat out!”

Apparently, this was her moment to stare in confused silence, pulling on her coat an her brows together. In the end, she mumbled: “… eating outside the clinic… actually eating…” and shook her head and held out her hand: “How about France? I haven’t seen Paris before!”

Maybe the good doctor was not completely hopeless. His smile pulled up on one side and he took Raphael’s hand: “Let’s go, I know a lovely place”

A second later, they stood in a side-street, just out of view of the city, and Raphael pulled her collar up and the coat closer: “Huh!” She actually looked surprised.

“Seems like you don’t usually go outside, doctor. Little drop in temperature make you shiver?” She huddled into her coat. It was kind of adorable.

“We can’t all be talking space heaters, mister ‘King’,” she stuck out her tongue just the tiniest bit before she tappled off into the sun and the city itself. And then stopped dead in her tracks, grip on the coat slacking.

Catching up to her, he looked at her astounded face, looking in every direction and apparently she saw nothing but wonder. She took a step back, walked right into him, knocked his chest, mumbled ‘sorry’ and didn’t move, still looking around.

He waited for her to calm down a little bit. When it didn’t happen, he shrugged: “This, dear angel, is the ‘Rue des Barres’, feels less like a city and more like the French country side… and since this already seems to have broken you, it’s probably for the best. Want to sit down and marvel some more?”

Raphael slowly nodded. And let herself be steered into said ‘lovely place’, still looking everywhere and taking it all in.

She gave her coat willingly and sat down at the huge window, where Asmodeus pulled her chair out. He also waved the waiter over, who looked at Raphael and asked: “First time in Paris?”

He watched her following the flight of the pigeons taking off, only to be distracted by the 13th century chapel and said: “Very first time indeed”

“Good on you for bringing her to the City of Light. So, do you already have something in mind? We do have a couple-discount today,” he said, laying out the menus in front of them.

Raphael’s ear twitched and she blinked, finding her place back in reality, looking questioningly at the waiter and Asmodeus.

“How fortunate for us! And we’ll take the coffee-special for now, I’m sure the lady wants a bit of time to decide, thank you!” Asmodeus declared, too amused to care.

The waiter nodded and fixed the order on his tablet, before he disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.

“… you… Asm-… Ashton? That’s what the file said? Yes? ‘Ashton’. We – I - can’t lie to the… citizens of Paris. It can’t be the first thing I-“

“Raph, relax. We are a couple. You know? Two people in a trust-based relationship,” at this Raphael relaxed in a somewhat grumbling fashion and he added with a grin: “That eat together. In Paris. You know… City of Love? On the insistence of the lady?”

Apparently, Raphael was much easier to fluster when the angel was not residing in in their clinic, because her eyes went wider with every word. She managed to obviously bush despite the teint and looked almost miserable in the end.

He would feel insulted if she didn’t look so adorable realising how this must look to someone knowing only this.

“I didn’t mean-,“ she tried, with furrowed brows, but came up empty, lowering her raised index finger and chewing her bottom lip.

“Raphael. This is not a crime. Besides. If you called our waiter only to tell him we are ‘not a couple, definitely not’, only so we pay more… you were told not to draw attention, weren’t you?” It was a stab in the dark, but he vaguely remembered this being a rule.

But apparently one that hit true, since she took a deep breath and opened the menu: “… very well, then, I shall explore ‘Chez Julien’s menu” she said, still sounding guilty of all things, staring intently at the pages.

Asmodeus opened his own leaflet, staring down at the letters, but frowned after a minute, looking over to Raphael and still seeing her so… tense. He sighed and said in a hushed tone: “Raph, I apologise. If you are that concerned about it, we can call him over again. It does happen, if the lady is vehemently against being seen as a significant other of their companion. So… would that help? I wanted to drag you out for a fun outing, that’s all”

Raphael blinked and looked up, blinking again. Then she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let the tension go. Deliberately, it seemed. Then she said: “I… no. That’s… that’s not the problem. I think I…” She looked at him pouted a little: “… I guess I got somewhat confused by… your seamless agreement to him assuming a… romantic connection.” She shrugged. “I’m still a bit inexperienced there”

Asmodeus tilted his head. Ah. That was… alright, that was a reason. Mh.

“Well, lovely lady. Do not fret, you have the perfect teacher in front of you,” he grinned, “My experiences might not be strictly romantic, but they can be – and were, at times.”

And Raphael did smile, at that, even giggled, rolling her eyes: “Well then, great teacher… teach me… things. So the next innocent restaurant scam goes off without a hitch”

“Ah, but my good student! I barely know a thing about you! You have to answer some questions before I can tailor a lesson just for you,” he leaned forward on the table.

And she sit up straighter, but leaned on the table as well: “What an offer. Do I have any chance but to agree? Whatever you want to know, I am a mostly open book”

“Aaaah, well then, Raph, tell me – what kind of person are you interested in? Are there preferences? Gender? Age? Status? Do you have a height-preference? A must-have for a food-taste? Any kinks someone has to have?” He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She shook her head and tapped the menu, still smiling, then looked at him again: “Well, what questions… let’s start with the easiest… I think my actual height requires me to say ‘smaller than me’ as a preference. ‘Reaching heaven by standing’ is just a bit awkward, in double. Age… lets just not talk about that, because it’s somewhat strange? Status is a good one… err… not my subordinate. That would be just awful. Definitely not a superior. I know, that’s just in relation to me, but… well, any other status really does not matter. Oh. Almost forgot: Not a patient.” She looked at him pointedly.

Then she frowned and tapped her chin, losing that thought: “Mmmmh… is… ‘trust’ a kink?” She made a face. “… it must be. Basically everything is, if I look a the internet. But yes. Having trust and being trusted is… a rule, not only a preference. Cause… I draw consequences when the trust… isn’t there.” She smiled at him with closed eyes. And he was not a psychologist. But that had a story.

“Being kind as a default. Knowing when it’s not possible anymore.” She shrugged again. “And I don’t think food taste is a preference. But I have a slight suspicion that hating cherries means that I will be eating them constantly. And maybe the taste becomes a positive thing,” she winked, “Behavioural science is fun that way” She held up a finger: “Err. With their consent, of course”

He looked at the angel. That was… more information than he had expected. Way more. And there were stories behind these. Mh. That might need some thought, so he said, with a light wink: “Leaves one: Would I have a better chance with a more feminine shape?”

She followed his lead, a smirk played at her lips, looked him up and down as far as it was possible land answered: “Mmmmh, I’d sayyyy…. No. No, you wouldn’t. If you felt comfortable in the other one, there would be more depictions... that aren’t... modern and Japanese. So... yes... we all know you have to be comfortable in therapy. So, your chances of success in our clinic-sessions in a male form are much bet-“

She stopped talking. And stared at him for five seconds, mouth an unhappy line. Then huffed: “… this is not what you asked. Also not what you meant. ‘Better chances’, yes? You do mean ‘at seduction’, correct?” She wasn’t sure. And looked into both his eyes for some kind of answer, flicking back and forth.

It seemed like she found it,when she continued, because she looked away: “You did... do that. In a more substantial way. And... I didn’t comment on it, then. When it happened - I was too distracted, actually - but… you said... and... do you honestly - I apologise if I misinterpret - but…”

Her eyes wandered back to him and away. She ran a hand through her hair: “… do you honestly think I am not interested? In you? You… you do know you are the most desirable being I ever met? That I know of? That you are… you are the definition of desirable? I’m sure you hear that a lot, but... I do not just say that” - she started to check off on her fingers: “ You are in peak physical shape - with two minor flaws I figured, but... they might be intentional? True perfection is rarely accepted.” She stared for a second into thevoid, then shook her head and continued to count: “You have confidence in yourself and your abilities and back it up. You are more capable than you show. Which leaves mystery, which is very positive in a sexual encounter. But you know how capable you are. Aaaaand you know how to boast and show off without it feeling forced - or over the top. So... to finally answer your question: No, I do not think your feminine shape could be more or less than… the picture of enchanting… entirely too captivating for me. So... no, your chances would – very likely – stay the very same” - she threw her hands in the air, abandoning the count.

And in this very moment, the waiter decided to hand her the ordered coffee specialty.

“Merci beaucoup”, she said and smiled at him, putting her hands around the cup and crossing her legs.

Asmodeus got his coffee as well. On the table in front of him. He stared at the angel. He had not opened his mouth for an answer yet, because:

...what... ?

#1865 words #mercuryreddies Asmodeus #MyRaph xD #aaaand here's hoping that's fine!#WEE

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sarahsunlovexharas · 7 years

Text

An elderly gentlemen donning a white cloak with two dark blue stripes going down the length of his attire. Shore silver locks reached his shoulders as his bright blue eyes stared up at one of the statues in the main hallway in the Hall of Guardians. Gazing up, he saw a sculpted image of a woman with a wide wingspan. In either of her hands she held heavy broad swords within her grasp. This woman started it all; the never ending cycle of reincarnation of this foreign fae born only from those who were magical families. For the first century; he had observed that as long as there was a light on the surface, the people would be safe. This creature would do it’s sworn duty to keep the shadows at bay. However, as the years progressed, it seemed that the demons were growing bold and even showing an immunity to the usual light magic this savior had. What would they do then, when all methods they knew to fight, would be seen as insufficient? It was because of this that he had been secretly making a pact with the head of the shadow demons. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer. He had learned a great deal from the shadows, though with all power - it came at a price. A sigh left his lips as he turned his head away from the statue and headed further into the hall. Nearly three decades ago his power costed the life of his daughter, Selene and her lover -- Rasha, who was his best mage on the Council. The man was a manipulator of spirits; tampering with those in the void without aligning with powers of darkness. His daughter was a woman with a vibrant temper who was a skilled with a blade. Together, he knew they were an unbeatable pair. But..his paranoia of losing all his current power to the darkness and being exposed caused him to make a mistake -- to set out a bounty for his daughter so her magic could be harnessed against her will to protect those below her. This resulted in Rasha being brainwashed and killed by his own lover; who later slaughtered a whole town of innocent people out of furry. His daughter slain by his own hand. He had to cover up her death with a lie; blaming it on demons that possessed a town of people and how the only way to save other towns was that she was slain by one close to her heart. Many knew that she was his daughter so they assumed that, being family, he was the natural choice. Few knew the complicated relationship they had. Ever since that day, he has been hesitant to tamper with the demons. Their power was like a double -edged blade. They had their uses, yes, but at a price that could damn you forever. His thoughts are pushed aside by the sound of loud boots against the tiles and the sound of men arguing. Turning his head, he saw a group of men enter- all fellow Council Members. “You should have known that Ela would have been bested in that challenge! My daughter wouldn’t be mated with a weakling! It’s his own fault for meeting his end.” “I still say that the outsider be trialed for killing one of our own! Blood must answer for blood!” An elated sigh slipped from the lips of the elder male. Rubbing his temples, he held a hand up as he saw five men before him. Lord Marty, a gentlemen with shoulder length silver hair - Sarah’s father, another silver haired male, but his hair was slightly longer than Marty’s -- a young man whom he took under his wing known as Lord Germy. Beside him was a taller young man with spiked dirty blonde hair known as Lord Mendy. Scowling at the trio was a pair of men not too far behind. A pinkette male with his hair in a braid at the front named Lord Amuria and beside him was a man with auburn locks; facial features riddled with numerous tattoos -- this man was known as Lord Ais. “Lord Marty; what is going on? What is this talk of blood for blood and Ela? Has something happened?”

Marty frowned, looking to the others for a moment before giving a short nod. “You are aware that tonight we were going to have a celebration for my daughter finding a mate, yes?” The Elder gave a nod. “ I do recall hearing that Sarah returned with blue wings whilst accompanied by an elf of sorts..yes. What of it?” “During her speech Ela threw a dagger at my daughter, nearly clipping off her wings and challenged her. However, she allowed her mate to go in her stead. The battle was intense and when it ended, his body turned into ashes..as well as an imprint of a demon beside his.” An elated sigh slipped from the Elder. “..It sounds as if he received what he deserved then. Challenging Sarah was his undoing. He should have known that a mated Sun Child’s mate is no match for any of us..and you say he turned to ash? It seems it was doubly so his fault. No need to hold her mate accountable for his death. He will be missed but his dealings with demons should be a lesson for any other who has tampered with the demons.” Amuria hissed, displeased with the words coming from his Elder.”With all due respect, Sir, I disagree. That elf cheated! He used unusual magic with his weapons!” Ais crossed his arms. “I can’t believe you are siding with an outsider! Those freaks are nothing more than trouble.” Mendy turned his head first to Amuria, glaring at him and Ais. “You have a problem with Lady Sarah and her mate?” Amuria took a step closer towards the bard. “As a matter of fact, I do. Their presence here means that the people will have little need for us in the near future. I’m rather comfortable ordering those of lesser status what is best for them than some winged freak.” He gestures to the door behind them. “That battle we witnessed out there was a sure sign that the people could trust those outsiders than their own kin. The less power we have the fewer who will bow to our whim and wishes. What, you so eager to sulk in the back of a bar alone weeping over your past again, Mendy?” he challenged. Growling under his breath, Mendy snapped -- throwing a punch towards Amuria. Marty and Germy quickly pulled Mendy back as Amuria held his face for a moment, feeling a light trickle of blood drip down his face from the broken nose he received. “Don’t you dare speak ill of Lady Sarah! At least she does her duty instead of using people like pawns!” Amuria merely smirked, licking the blood at reached his lips. “You’re too easy, Mendy. Best watch that temper of yours..” Giving him one last look, he walked past them so that he could go to one of the healing rooms to patch up. Following behind him was an equally irritated Ais. When the pair was out of earshot, the Elder gave a deep sigh. “That was uncalled for, Lord Mendy.” Shuffling out of the grasp he was in, he adjusted his cloak. “I don’t care..” he muttered. “The bastard deserved it. Bad mouthing people that are helping us is petty and it honestly makes me want to lay out bear traps in his room.” A stern glare was giving towards the bard’s direction, earning a defeated sigh from said male. “It’s been a day. I’m going to the tavern...” Mendy waved at the trio before turning on his heels and leaving the way he came in. Marty shook his head, frowning. “Though I agree with Mendy; I’m afraid that isn’t the only thing that bothers me. If Ela was using the power of a shadow demon all this time, is it possible that others have as well?” The Elder’s eyes went wide for a moment. He felt paranoid for a second.Covering his emotions; he gave a nervous cough. “Jumping to conclusions, aren’t we Lord Marty? There are too many of us to do a thorough search.” “True..Would you mind if I borrowed Germy for the evening? I have a theory I’d like to test.” The Elder gave a nod, attempting to keep suspicion off his doorstep. “So long as the lad is willing to follow, you may.” Germy gave an eager nod before the two left for the back study where they kept a great array of magical books and documents. Letting out a sigh of relief for a moment, he was safe from his kinsmen from knowing his dark secrets. There was so much dark magic he was involved in behind the others. Should any of it reach the light of day, he would be ruined. He had to think of a way to halt their research..without giving himself away. This..would take some time.. @fallxnprxnce

#mun drabble #fallxnprxnce #{Since this will likely be happening when Nuada isn't there #{Might as well write this out now #{Just in case <3 #{Pardon the length of this though.#{ I get a little carried away when it comes to my npcs #long post

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quatschmachen · 7 years

Text

375.1

Part one of the Etienne birthday arc. No doubt by posting this so early the weather will be a blizzard but yolo it’s done and I’m impatient lets get the party started.

XXXXX

Vernon was on duty. It was unofficial, one done out of loyalty to his friend who dropped a hint that he was concerned about what might occur at this party. Vernon informally mentioned over some acidic Calgarian coffee that he wouldn’t mind sharing a hotel room with Ed under the pretext of saving money. They were both going to the same party anyways and due to the high bookings for the festivities it would help not only in price but guaranteeing a room.

He had not inquired further frankly because he had memories of last summer and Calvin going on and on about things. Yes he liked to think of himself as a good friend, but his stomach was too busy churning under the acidic coffee to activate the switch of too much information. There was a suspicion however that something Might Happen, and that it was better if somehow Ed had someone to go with. Thankfully whatever the situation was, Ed seemed reticent to share what the thing Might Be.

Whatever the situation, here he was stuck in the airport waiting for Ed. Glancing at his watch, he moved towards the greeting gate. Surprisingly, his flight had come in before Edward’s. Hearing the announcement that the flight had arrived, he patiently waited until he saw the other man leaving the passenger zone looking around for him.

“Edward,” he called out, gaining his attention. Giving a small wave, he strode forwards.

“Hey!” Ed was carrying a simple carryon, obviously not planning on staying for long. “Do you have the information on where we’re staying?”

Vernon patted his chest pocket, “Right here. Should we catch the bus?”

“Sure.”

Scrutinizing Edward, he was not sure what to make of the other man. He had been mildly surprised when it suddenly came out he and Calvin were an official couple of sorts. Not officially announced of course, but it seemed that even after the blow up, which he had been sadly a party to the fallout, they had managed to make up and seemed stronger than ever. Which he supposed was a good thing. He was not an expert on long term romantic relationships due to generally not being interested in them. The idea of initiating some intimate relationship that entailed dramatic fluctuations of the heart with a potential negative long-term outcome seemed like a bad decision for someone as long lived as him. Plus, he had witnessed the people like him grow and change in such dramatic fashions the person one may entrust themselves to may not even exist in a form they loved in a hundred years.

However his opinion was neither here nor there when it came to other people’s personal decisions. He would be interested to see what happened in the future and he knew that somehow he would end up being party to whatever dramatic issues that would no doubt occur.

The sliding doors opened and as they stepped out into the oppressively sticky hot humid atmosphere he turned his thoughts to the situation at hand.

Vernon had been pleasantly surprised to be invited to Étienne’s VIP birthday party. Sitting upon the vinyl bus seats, secretly glad he had worn long pants, he looked out the window. Sure they were friends, but quite honestly he had not thought he was at the status for a VIP invite. It made him re-evaluate their closeness, forcing him to come to the conclusion that they did in fact spend much time together as friends. It was not a bad realization.

Glancing over to his seat partner, he noticed that Ed was busy checking his messages. Thankful that the other man was not too chatty, Vernon closed his eyes and leant his forehead against the window for a small power nap.

He was gently awoken when the bus stopped and, giving Ed a grateful nod, they left the bus.

“So… the hotel should be… over… here?” He frowned at the instructions which had become a little smudged from his sweat.

“Let me see… Hotel Nelligan? Hmmm 106 Saint Paul… mm actually you are off a street. We walk thataway.” Ed pointed in the correct direction.

“Glad you know your way around town; don’t want to be lost in this heat,” Vernon said.

“Well, I do have my uses.”

“Oh, so Calvin keeps you for his company, does he?” Vernon mildly asked.

Giving him a quizzical look, Ed was not sure how to take the comment until Vernon cracked and gave him a small smile to indicate he was joking.

As they walked through the city there was an air of expectation; even with the dreadful heatwave occurring, people still managed to have some pep in their step.

The historic buildings seemed to ooze with a smug knowledge that their survival was going to be celebrated, and as they reached the front of their hotel it was obvious that people were coming from all corners of the earth to party. People bustled upon the streets, closed down from traffic to be filled with street vendors their voices loud with excitement.

Entering the hotel, the air conditioning felt like a soft pleasant kiss, and walking up to the front desk the service was impeccable. It seemed as if everyone in the city was on their best behaviour for the upcoming event.

Seeing as they were only on the second floor, they took the stairs. Due to the high volume of bookings occurring, they ended up in the King Atrium room with only one bed. It was large enough for the two of them, but Vernon would have preferred a bed to himself.

Setting his luggage down just inside the door of their shared room, he went to check the bounciness of the bed, nodding in approval at the soft white sheets.

He looked over to Ed, who had come out of the bathroom freshened up. He was buttoning his shirt sleeves, his dress shirt neatly tucked into his jeans. “Thanks for sharing a room with me; it’s nice to save money.”

“Of course,” Vernon gave a nod, “No point in spending more than necessary.”

Looking at the bed, Ed quirked his eyebrow; he seemed to pick up upon Vernon’s reticence. “Promise not to molest you in the night; if you’re worried, I can pass out in the bathtub?”

“You planning to drink that much?”

“Maybe not tonight, need to keep myself aware for the big day tomorrow,” Ed responded.

“I had no worry about you being inappropriate.” Vernon responded, deadpan, “I was just worried about how long you take in the shower in the morning.”

“Oh that reminds me, do you know who else will be in our VIP section?”

“I believe, from the itinerary, it would be Ludovico Torelli and Samantha Jones.”

“Wow… how the hell did he get the king of Milan to visit him?”

Vernon adjusted his glasses, “This is Étienne we are talking about.”

“I suppose. It must be nice for you to see Sam again.”

“It depends what you mean ‘again’; we were just together for coffee last week.” Vernon replied, “She is my neighbour after all.”

“I guess so. Are there any plans for tonight?”

“I am meeting up with Sam at the Méchant for drinks and food, you are free to join us.”

“That sounds good. I would like to see her before the crazy day tomorrow, some time to catch up.”

XXXXX

The Méchant Boeuf Bar-Brasserie was not too busy due to it being relatively early in the evening when they arrived. Sam was easy to spot, her strawberry blond hair in a short bob, wearing a bright pink summer dress and silver strappy sandals. On her right wrist was a large bracelet; she was busy texting someone, ignoring the man sitting across from her.

It was rather amazing that she was ignoring the well-coiffed man across from her since many of the bar’s patrons kept glancing over at him with keen interest. The man was wearing a button-up white shirt, the top two buttons undone revealing a milky white collar bone. Sunglasses hung from the front pocket in an indolent manner that seemed to scream class. Most likely those sunglasses cost more than Samantha’s phone, and it showed. His black hair with streaks of grey slicked back with a few strands falling into his eyes and his austere gaze as he looked around the bar with interest only heightened his foreignness.

The only other person who seemed unaffected by this man was Vernon, who sat on the chair beside Samantha and turned his rapt attention to her, briefly giving the man a nod.

Awkwardly Ed sat on the bench attached to the rustic brick wall beside the man.

“B-Bonjourno,” he stuttered awkwardly which resulted in the man looking at him in amusement.

“Good evening,” he responded in elegant English, “Your attempt at Italian, while valiant, indicates you are not fluent?”

“N-no.” Ed flushed feeling like an idiot, what the hell was he doing here with these people? Ugh and he was making a fool of himself in front of Ludovico, someone who was infinitely older than him and no doubt ten thousand times more interesting and worldly and he was just some friggin’ country bumpkin. He cleared his throat attempting to feel less like an idiot. “Just enough to get by.”

“Delightful. I am Ludovico… and you are?”

“I am Edward Murphy,” like an idiot he automatically stuck his hand out as if in a proper business context, which Ludovico graciously took.

“It is nice to finally meet you I have heard so much about you.”

“Only good things, I hope?”

“Oh and some bad of course, no city is without tarnish,” came the smooth reply as the handshake seemed to linger, Ludovico not exactly in a rush to let go of Ed’s hand. Gently Ed removed his hand, not sure what to say. “So how do you know the birthday boy? Other than… shared country.”

How exactly was he supposed to explain his… friendship with Étienne?

“Common interests brought us together, we once had a zine together-”

Ed found himself easily falling into conversation with Ludovico, only looking up when the waiter came and asked what drinks they would like.

As they were putting in their drink requests, a rather frazzled voice interrupted them and Ed was horrified to see Étienne appearing.

“Sorry I’m late; there was so much to do,” came the apology, Étienne did in fact look as if he had just run a marathon, and his purple t-shirt was sticking to him with sweat. He turned to the waiter and placed his order, “Oh and I will have the house red,” and as if to make things worse he sat on the seat closest to him. Due to the arrangement of the table, there were only two chairs, both occupied, and the bench.

This meant that Étienne’s only option was the bench, and seeing that Ed was closest to the door, it meant to the internal death cries of Ed that Étienne slid right beside him, causing the awkward shuffle so that he could get some table access.

His black jean-encased thigh was warm against Ed’s, and there was a whiff of spices as if Étienne had run through some bazaar.

Attempting to ignore his suddenly thumping heart, Ed gave a greeting before thankfully turning back to Ludovico, who seemed intent on continuing their conversation.

“You see you are lucky not to have to build heavy defences…”

Raptly Ed listened to Ludovico’s story attempting to ignore the man right beside him having an interesting conversation with Samantha about coffee culture – with Vernon vociferously interjecting. The interjection threw Ludovico off track as he turned to the larger conversation.

“Are you saying that you know how to make an espresso? I went to your Starbucks, Samantha, and… they added… espresso as,” here his nose seemed to wrinkle up in disgust, “shots to other drinks. That is not how one enjoys espresso!”

“Just because you are afraid of innovating coffee does not mean the rest of us are,” she snapped back.

Their drinks arrived during the Great Coffee Feud, which Ed sort of participated in, but he mostly remained silent.

Ordering the food helped distract from whether or not the evolution of coffee was good or bad, or if adding sugar absolutely ruined the essence of the bean.

Ed was managing to spend the evening engaging in the conversation but keeping his interactions to Étienne as minimal as possible, worrying that if he was to have a conversation in near quarters he would not stay firm to his mental commitment of being Good. To be honest he was embarrassed that even after all this time, and having a nice relationship with Calvin, the simple act of sitting next to Étienne was causing him to feel like some idiotic school girl.

When his food arrived, he was thankful for having something more legitimate to occupy his mouth, pretending to be absorbed into the story Samantha was telling about her train system – which of course devolved into everyone bitching about public transportation and the lack of funding. As the alcohol flowed, he felt a little less tense, enjoying himself more and in a way feeling equal to the others. Perhaps he was not such a country bumpkin as he feared. Ludovico was absolutely charming and he felt himself being captured in the other city’s aura, having a feeling that if Étienne was not sitting right beside him and if he was not dating Calvin that perhaps things could go further.

As he idly thought what type of lay Ludovico would be, Étienne’s hand dropped down from the table top and brushed against Ed’s thigh, innocently partially resting against it. Startled at the touch, Ed abruptly stood up, banging himself against the table.

“Are you alright, Edward?” Ludovico asked.

“Oh uhmm. I need to go to the bathroom, excuse me.”

Thankfully finally released from hell, momentarily, Ed passed the gracious Ludovico and fled to the bathroom hoping to get himself back into order.

“That Edward is a charming man,” Ludovico commented to Étienne, “He is rather… cute? I see why you would invite him; a younger city is always refreshing to talk to, they are not so jaded.”

Smiling at his friend, Étienne nodded, “He really is less awkward once you get to know him better.”

Leaning his elbow atop the table lazily, Ludovico smiled, “Oh I do hope that I get to know him much better while I am here, he is very intriguing. Tell me though… have you two fought?”

Nearly dropping his fork, which he had not realized he had been gripping rather firmly, Étienne tried to play it cool. “What do you mean?”

“I notice he seems to somehow be ignoring you even though you are sitting right beside him?”

“Is he? I hadn’t noticed…” setting his fork down, Étienne gave another smile, “Excuse me… I too suddenly need to use the bathroom.”

Standing up, he waded through the slowly growing crowd of people towards the bathroom, intent on finding Ed. Entering the bathroom, he came upon him washing his hands.

“Hey…” his voice caused Ed to jump.

“Étienne?”

“The one and only… are you alright?”

“W-what do you mean?”

Giving him an amused look, Étienne stepped closer, “You have been ignoring me all night? You didn’t have to come to this celebration if you can’t even stand the sight of me.”

“Oh no, it’s not that,” Ed quickly lied, “I just haven’t been feeling so good and, well, sitting amongst such high-rolling cities I just felt awkward.”

Raising an eyebrow at this, Étienne decided to let it pass, “Well, be careful with Ludovico; I think he wants to get into your pants.”

Giving a snort of laughter, Ed rolled his eyes, “You must be joking; he could have anyone in the bar and you say he wants to fuck me? Come on, Étienne, you are the birthday boy, I think the assumption is that you are the one that gets laid and not me?” Giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder, Ed cracked a smile deciding that perhaps he should stop being so awkward, especially if Étienne was going to be having stupid thoughts like that. Plus, he had reminded himself that he was not Prey Number One and that Étienne himself also had the pick of the city so to say, and he could count himself relatively safe. If there was one thing he knew about Étienne, it was he never engaged in anything that did not involve consent. “I think you need to be worried about Ludovico getting into your pants, Et. Anyways I’m heading back to the table… I will let you… do your thing.”

Rubbing his shoulder, Étienne frowned as he watched Ed leave the bathroom. He really was clueless to his own charm.

As he returned to their table, Étienne could feel his blood pressure spike as he saw Ed sharing a drink with Ludovico, literally sipping from the same cup. That goddamn Italian was smooth as fuck and Ed really seemed oblivious at the man’s intentions. When he had daydreamed who he wanted as VIP guests for his birthday bash, it never occurred to him that he and Ed would have had a giant fight, (as he was politely thinking of it), nor did it occur to him that Ludovico would take such an interest in Ed. Wasn’t his birthday supposed to be relaxing and fun?

Well if Ed was oblivious it probably meant Ludovico’s chances were null… plus, wasn’t Ed attempting to live the life of monogamy with Calvin now? Grimly sitting down, he focused back into the conversation, taking another sip of his wine and heavily eavesdropping on what Ed was saying.

“You’re right, that wine is delicious,” Ed’s words were becoming slightly slurred. “Tell me more about the wine.”

From the corner of his eye Étienne saw Ludovico take Ed’s hand and turn it palm upwards, then using the various fingers on Ed’s hand to explain the different wine regions. Was there really a need to use Ed’s hand to discuss wine? Étienne thought angrily, his stomach tightening in jealousy at memories when Ed would let him hold his hand… when those hands willingly touched his body. Deliberately Étienne shifted closer so that their thighs were touching again, thinking that at least he could enjoy that touch.

Engaging in a conversation with Vernon, who apparently wanted to whine about their crazy winter weather, usually a safe topic of conversation, Étienne watched from the corner of his eye as Ludovico bent close to Ed, his face a few millimetres away from the other man. He had watched him in action attempting to land someone in bed too many times to count, and with irritation he could see the unfocused gaze of Ed which usually indicated he too had some ideas of drunken sinning on his mind. Honestly if Ed was going to cheat on Calvin it should be with HIM not with some random stranger, came his violent thought. He was the birthday boy and he deserved the birthday booty call!

“Étienne?” Vernon’s voice cut in, “What about your blizzard?”

“Terrible,” He smiled pleasantly trying to shove down the raging jealousy that was making its rather sudden appearance. This was not on the menu and he needed to calm the fuck down. Realizing that smiling was probably the wrong facial expression, he quickly corrected himself as he took a sip of sangria, “You know… a literal snowpocalypse. Haven’t had one so bad in years.”

“Your winters are interesting,” Ludovico cut in, much to Étienne’s relief. It seemed like this topic interested him more than Ed’s hand. “My issue is with flooding mainly, all that torrential rain of 2013, it was terrible.”

Weather being a relatively safe topic, they each participated. Until Étienne managed to catch sight of the time, “Well as much as I enjoy chatting, I strongly suggest we get to bed and rest since tomorrow is going to be very full.”

The others agreed in consensus, and after paying their bills they filed out of the now very busy bar.

Entering the hotel atrium, Ludovico attempted to get Ed by himself, but was gently rebuffed by Vernon, who suddenly engaged Ed in conversation about who would use the shared bathroom first.

Étienne felt vicious happiness at the disgruntled look on the other man’s face as he departed.

“I suppose it’s time for me to head home, see you guys at ten o’clock,” Étienne piped up.

“Oh you’re not staying here?” Vernon asked, “I thought you would to avoid traffic?”

Étienne shrugged, “Eh, I would rather spend the money on food than a hotel room in my own city. I know how to deal with traffic.”

“Goodnight then,” Vernon nodded formally before turning to the stairs.

Ed, however, lingered as if caught in a vice of indecision.

Curiously, Étienne looked at him, wondering if he should say something. Maybe he shouldn’t; perhaps it was best not to hear what Ed was about to say. Deciding to walk away, he was stopped by a hand on his wrist.

“W-wait.” Ed blurted out. “Wait a moment… don’t… move.” Quickly he disappeared up the stairs leaving Étienne to awkwardly stand in the atrium. Did he just dream this scenario? Trying to look as if he was not in a state of confusion, he took his phone out to check his messages.

Ed just as abruptly reappeared, slightly out of breath, with a small package in hand. “I know it’s a little early, but I’m not sure if with all the plans of tomorrow I can give this to you. H-happy birthday Étienne, you can open it.”

Curiously he took the neatly wrapped package, and slid his finger along the dark blue wrapping paper. Inside was a blue velvet box. Popping it open, he let out a small gasp.

“This… is generous.”

“I- I hope you like them.” Edward stammered, “I thought for such a big birthday you needed something more special than some jam.”

“Jam is always welcome Edward… these are exquisite.” He lifted one of them out and inspected it. They were emerald cufflinks inset in platinum. Delicately incised upon each emerald were Étienne’s initials.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ed said, “I’m glad you like them, anyways… I just wanted to thank you for keeping the invitation open. I know what with… everything that’s happened between us, it’s just, I really… appreciate that we can still be…” as he paused he bit his lower lip, his face getting redder the more he spoke, the words tumbling out in small stutters, “friends. W-what I mean to say,” Ed looked at the ground apparently unable to focus upon Étienne’s face, “is that you still mean a lot to me, and I know I fucked everything up, by being an idiot, and I am trying hard to just you know get things back to simple friendship, like before… So thank you for giving me this chance. I will do my best not to be so awkward tomorrow. A-anyways I should get to bed now.”

There was something apparently blocking Étienne’s throat stopping any words from flowing out, and he could only manage a nod, knowing that if he tried to talk he would embarrass himself by the mixed vortex of feelings holding him.

Giving another awkward glance, Ed waved before fleeing back up the stairs, leaving Étienne once more to stand there alone in the atrium. Around him some latecomers had just entered, their voices hushed, drunken whispers echoing against the brick as they attempted to be more considerate of the other people of the hotel. The high heels of one of the women clicked against the brown tiles, her giggle carrying across to where he stood.

Trying to get his emotions under control, he idly looked at the woman, her lipstick smeared, her lips thick as if she had been kissing someone hard, and he noticed that the man beside her had the tell-tale lipstick marks upon his pleasantly drunk face. From how he held her around the waist, their drunk gait in surprising harmony, it was obvious that they were lovers. He watched as the lady stumbled upon the satiny round black steps towards the elevators, the man managing to catch her. He witnessed the tender look he gave the back of her head, before he managed to send out a loving tease, which resulted in him getting swatted.

It was as if he could not tear his eyes away, only able to move once more as they passed out of sight.

Almost as if in a dream, Étienne drifted out of the hotel, passing the now empty street stalls, as the sky rumbled ominously above him. He was halfway home when suddenly the humidity broke as the rains pelted down, soaking him through.

#quatschfic #375 #pc: edmonton #pc: montreal #pc: vancouver #pc: seattle #pc: milan #forgive me

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rheyareads · 5 years

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I think too much and now I need to write about it….

Okay before we begin what will likely be a short novel filled with random ideas and thoughts, I need to tell you all, dear readers, that I have typed, deleted and re-typed what was going to be my beginning sentence 4 times now because every variation I read had some grammatical error that I was self-editing and tried to fix to please my graduate professors who would likely throw up at the ridiculously long run-on sentence I have now typed out. So, with that being said – please be warned, this will be riddled with grammatical inaccuracies and likely contain an exuberant amount of split infinitives and dangling participles designed to take you on an emotional journey rather than please your concise, well thought out, hearts.

I turn 30 this year.

I’d like to point out that while I might physically turn 30, I don’t know that I’ll mentally turn 30. The idea is a bit too complex for me to fully comprehend as there are some days it feels like I’m still 22, bumbling around like Taylor Swift thinking everything will be alright if I just keep dancing around like an idiot.

I’ve done a lot of self-reflection over the last couple of months and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not very happy with my life. Now, I know what you’re thinking – GASP – Kayla, say it isn’t true! You’re so positive! I can’t fathom you’d ever speak negatively about yourself, your looks, your life, your status, your direction, etc. etc. – I know. I’m as shocked as you. But all kidding aside, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and the unhappiness I’m describing goes deeper than anything I think I’ve experienced before and its left me with this emptiness that I am struggling to move past. In the past year, I left my job and totally switched career paths, thus leaving behind the very thing I spent the better part of 9 years working towards as an adult, went from living alone, away from my friends and family to living with a roommate and mere minutes away from friends and family, and lost the best parental figure I’ve ever known to a brutal battle with cancer.

And while there have been wonderful things that have happened throughout my life and this past year, I feel like I am starting over with absolutely no direction. I’ve given a lot of thought lately about what I want to be remembered for, what I want my legacy to say when I’m gone, and usually I become so confused and overwhelmed I take out my phone and ignore the question by playing a game.

I think what’s tripped me up the most is wondering how many people in my life know my true, authentic self (and subsequently – what IS my true authentic self). I know how I WISH to be portrayed to others, but I’m not always aware of how others perceive me to be and I think that information is important when questioning the type of impact you have. I have a nagging suspicion my love of literature has led me to romanticize ideas and build up expectations for others that aren’t always realistic to how people interact with one another. As a result, I’m left disappointed in the relationships I have, always feeling like I don’t get back what I give to people. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder, what DO I give to others? Do I have an impact at all? Do I offer anything besides surface level friendship and self-deprecating and often distracting humor?

A while ago, I asked a close friend of mine to tell me what they think matters most to me and their answers honestly stunned me. They weren’t necessarily wrong ( I think they said something like, friends and family, music, helping people – which are all true things) but it surprised me that it differed so much from how I would describe myself as a person and what I value most ( for example, the thing I value most is my work ethic and being viewed as someone who contributes and betters whatever it is I work on; I value passion and drive and gravitate towards other who are similar, I appreciate creativity and creative outlets of all kinds and prefer simple things like dinner with friends, movie nights in and reading to outlandish adventures or outings at bars because I like the intimacy they give; I’m emotional to a fault and sometimes have to backtrack because I let emotions cloud my judgement in important situations— that’s how I would describe myself). While it’s unfair of me to assume someone should just KNOW all of that, it still bothered me that the answer I was given wasn’t anywhere close to my own perception of who I am.

I think I’ve thought a lot about this more recently because my Aunt passed away and I saw what an incredible legacy and lasting impact she’s left on not only me, but every person she ever knew. She was without a doubt the most confident and unapologetically authentic woman I’ve ever known and there was no question that everyone who knew her saw her for who she was, through and through.

I think one reason I worry that people don’t have a real sense of who I am is because I choose which parts of me to let people see. I’m a social chameleon, capable of adapting to the crowd that I’m in order to fit in, so it’s sometimes hard for me to even decipher who I truly want to be versus who I think I need to be in order to gain acceptance. I am someone who doesn’t shy away from explaining past traumatic experiences or how I’m feeling (hello, facebook, my old frienddddd) but I also don’t typically elaborate on the true depth of those emotions for the sake of others.

For example, if someone asks me how I’m doing, I don’t typically give them the full truth of the answer because I know that the truth would likely make them uncomfortable and they’d be unsure of what to do. Additionally, most people who ask how you are don’t really want you to be honest, they just want you to know they made an attempt to connect and then move on with their day. Now, that may sound harsh, but it’s inherently true. We don’t ask “how ya doing” to have someone respond with “actually, I’m horrible and let me tell you why” – we ask because it’s socially expected for us to ask, and we hope the person reciprocates with the same and we move on to a short, surface level empty conversation before diving back into our phones/work/kids/etc.

So, in an effort to be more transparent and to get some things off my chest and into the universe somewhere, I thought it might help if I wrote out some of the complexities of my unhappiness to try and start figuring out where to move forward to change that. I think the transparency will help people learn a little more about the person I actually am, rather than just who I choose to show people. Maybe that will change opinions about me, maybe it won’t. I’ve decided to start using my blog for this because well… it’s a blog. More than that, I find writing out my thoughts and feelings therapeutic, but I think it’s important that I share that with others too in order to take it a step further. Maybe my thoughts can help inspire/encourage/motivate others, or maybe they can just help shed light on why I’m the specific brand of weird that I am.

Most importantly, I think we always wait to reflect on our relationships until a person is gone and I don’t want to do that. I want people to know how I feel about them, how their friendship/mentorship/love has changed me, for better or worse, before it’s too late to tell them. I also want to be able to change the depth of my relationships before it gets to be too late for me. And, in some aspect, I truly do believe in the idea that feelings are truly felt until they’re expressed to someone else and I think a lot of the reason I feel so unhappy with the trajectory of my life is that I’ve bottled a lot of this up and haven’t shared it with anyone in it’s entirety. Enter the internet….

With that being said, I’m long winded so I certainly can’t post it all in one sitting (well… I could…but the likelihood of anyone reading through it all is slim to none…. Unless you’re a past co-worker who wants to turn me in – HEYYYOOOO – bad joke…long story…maybe you’ll learn the tale late). So for now, I’ll leave you with the idea that sparked this whole project of mine.

As I mentioned hours ago, I turn 30 this year.

With that, I’d like to do 30 things in my 30th year. I think this will help give me focus and direction as I explore why it is I’m so miserable, and hopefully will help me, as they say, “find myself”. So here is my list:

1. Do something that scares me (posting this nonsense might count as this – TBD)

2. Volunteer somewhere

3. Spend more time with my nieces/nephews

4. Make a concerted effort to be more financially responsible

5. Make an even more concerted effort to eat healthier and avoid early death from organ failure.

6. Actually use the gym membership I pay for.

7. Travel outside the country (or plan a trip to do that – see number 4)

8. Make an honest effort to go on a date with someone I don’t actually know.

9. Try a little harder at my appearance (i.e. style my hair, maybe wear makeup)

10. Get a dog

11. Visit my friends who live out of state

12. Go to NYC and see another broadway show

13. Sing in some type of performance-based thing (musical/choir etc.)

14. Explore my spirituality and faith and grow closer to God.

15. Read my Bible more

16. Say no more often and find balance in my work and life

17. Plan and organize things ahead of time rather than flying by the seat of my pants

18. Help someone with something even if I don’t want to

19. Forgive people for things I’m holding on too

20. Call or text my friends more to see how they’re doing rather than just to complain about things

21. Be more attentive during conversations and live in the moment

22. Spend less time on my phone

23. Read ALL THE BOOKS (or at least 50)

24. Write more often – feelings, fiction, prose, doesn’t matter – just do it

25. Pay off a student loan

26. Learn how to do something new

27. Be nicer to my family even if it’s super hard

28. Buy less things and invest in more experiences

29. Take more pictures with people

30. Be more positive and talk about myself with less negativity.

So there you go folks, that’s my list. I’m also open to suggestions if there are other things people think I should add. I’m all for ideas!

So this is the start of my journey. If you’ve read this, thanks, friend – I appreciate that you care enough! I don’t know what will come next, but I’m hoping it will be interesting enough that you’ll stick around.

As I think about what comes next, I need to say this – I am fully aware that I am a very privileged person in many avenues and as a result I think I sometimes down play the impact that certain things have had on my life. As a counselor I’ve been trained to connect to the emotions rooted in a persons experience and can often find the deeper meaning buried in something seemingly small to others, but I struggle immensely with connecting to my own. At any rate, I’m going to attempt to do so by being brutally honest about the things that plague me most in my never ending thought parade in my head. There is a large chance that while I will not name names of people who are involved, there is a strong likelihood that you may know who I’m referring to, or be the person I’m referring to. It’s not my intent to degrade, demean or demonize (alliteration for the wiiiiin) anyone with these posts. This is about ME. No one else. Also, let’s remember there are two perspectives to every situation and I am likely just as much at fault as anyone.

I just want that disclaimer out there for anyone who may read things later on and become frustrated. If you find yourself frustrated, please just talk to me. Connecting is more or less what this whole thing is about.

With that, I leave you all until next time (whenever I decide that will be).

from WordPress https://rheyareads.wordpress.com/2019/02/14/i-think-too-much-and-now-i-need-to-write-about-it/

#general nonsense #random writings #Uncategorized #depression #identity #random thoughts #self help

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greyias · 4 years

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FIC: Smoke and Mirrors - Chapter 5

So while on the side of annoying, apparently Darok’s habit of repeating a battle plan until everyone could recite it in their sleep worked. Or maybe the strategy that the colonel and Jace had come up with was just that solid, because everything went off exactly as outlined. As much as Theron hated to admit it, it was a refreshing change of pace. The way things tended to go in the intelligence world, he tended to have to fall back on Plan Forn, or more probably more accurately, Plan “Frak”, since that word seemed to be uttered a lot under his breath.

The first wave of the attack caught the Imperials completely off guard, and the strike team was able to establish a landing zone with almost no casualties.

A holographic image of Korriban shimmered into life on part of the table as the holocam on the other end came online. The distance between the Core Worlds and Imperial Space meant the connection was weaker, and combined with interference from scrambling signals on the ground caused the image to flicker more than usual. Theron had seen holos of the Sith homeworld before, but it was somehow different watching from a live feed. Not quite like being there, but close enough. Their view from the holocam caught the wide desert expanse, the silhouettes of immense statues looming in the distance. The drop zone was situated perfectly on a high edge overlooking the Wilds, giving him and Darok a wide view of the stretch that the strike team would have to traverse to reach the Sith Academy.

Theron glanced over to another projection on the table, mapping out the approximate position of Wave Two. They were about to come out of hyperspace. He keyed his comm to the frequency he’d set for his communications with Highwind. It was showtime.

“—I’m aware how this could be difficult.” The transmission cut in in the middle of the Highwind’s sentence. Her voice was pitched low, probably in an attempt to keep her conversation quiet. “If you want to stay here, I understand.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Another female voice volleyed back. “I’m not letting you go into that place alone.”

“Kira,” Highwind’s concerned tone lightened with a trace of amusement, “how can I be alone with the rest of our crew and these soldiers?”

Ah, Kira Carsen. Jedi Knight and Highwind’s former Padawan and longtime partner. Her name had threaded through the dossier nearly as much as her master’s. Theron had found it a little odd that she was still part of the Defender’s crew this many years after her knighting, but he supposed that saving the galaxy from annihilation on a semi-regular basis formed tight bonds.

“You know what I mean,” Kira continued. “This place… it’s worse than Dromund Kaas. You can feel the Dark Side in every step you take here.”

“We’ll be fine,” Highwind assured her companion. “After all, I have everyone here, as well as eyes and ears on Carrick Station to guide me through.”

“How reassuring.”

“I’ve been told that they have a map.”

“Oh good, a map. That will keep a Sith from stabbing you in the back with a lightsaber.”

Despite himself, Theron found himself having to purse his lips together to keep from smirking. Apparently this Kira had a bit of a mouth on her. This was probably a good moment for him to speak up, to keep from listening in on what was becoming clear had been meant to be a private conversation, but he was curious to see where this was going.

“I highly doubt anyone will get that close,” came the serene reply, and Theron was pretty sure he heard a snort on the other end of the line.

“That’s some map you’ve got there.”

“I would think you’d know the difference between directions and the Force at this point, Kira.”

“Oh, so you’re not going to use the Force to magically guide you to the Dark Council chambers? Which, lovely vacation spot by the way, Boss. You should always plan our team building exercises. You keep things so exciting.”

“I didn’t plan this particular excursion,” the reply came out only the slightest edge of consternation. “You can thank the military and SIS for this trip.”

“Oh, the SIS, they always take us to the most fun places. Think we’ll have to fight off any Rakata-tech zombies this time?”

“I didn’t ask.”

“Well, what kind of briefing doesn’t mention zombies?”

“Perhaps I should check, if it’s that important.” If Theron’s ears didn’t deceive him, he thought he heard the slightest trace of impatience lacing through that deceptively serene tone. There was a soft beep in his ear as she attempted to establish connection on her side. “Theron, are you there?”

“Yes,” he said, miraculously managing to keep his tone neutral.

“Do you think we’ll encounter any zombies during our stay here?”

“No, I think you’ll be fine,” he said, pursing his lips together to keep from laughing. “You’ll probably just have to deal with an endless horde of angry Sith. No zombies though.”

“I’m sure everyone will rest easier knowing that.”

Darok shot him a look. “I hope you’re taking this seriously, Agent Shan.”

“Bite me,” was what Theron almost said. Instead he just shot the colonel the most sarcasticly polite smile he could muster. “I’m always serious, Darok.”

The colonel narrowed his eyes, face set in a deep frown. For a moment, it almost seemed like he was going to say something, before he turned back to the holodisplay of Korriban.

“I apologize if I caused you any problems,” Highwind said. Her tone was so placid, he honestly couldn’t tell if she was being sincere or sarcastic.

“Nothing to worry about,” he said smoothly, watching as the ship exited hyperspace, and made for a fast and rough landing on the planet’s surface.

“Who’s Theron?” Kira asked.

The ship shuddered and came to a hard stop on the ground, the echoes of the rough landing sounding over the earpiece. He would have turned the volume on his side down, but he was waiting to hear if the reply contained any mention of the Grand Master, or if Highwind had more discretion than that.

“He’s with the SIS.”

“Oh, really? Is he sure about the zombie thing, because Fauler conveniently left that out on our grand adventure on Tatooine too.”

This time he did hear an exhalation of breath, and it was definitely on the annoyed side. “Have I mentioned that you can stay on the shuttle if you want to?”

On the holocam feed, Highwind’s small figure emerged from the pod, the desert breeze kicking up her cape into the face of the man behind her. He batted it away as she continued to survey the area.

“Hey, gorgeous, you ever think about dressing for the climate?” Ah, that must have been Kimble, the medic.

“I see nothing wrong with the way I’m dressed, Doc,” she said primly, “especially considering what we’re up against.”

“Yeah, about that… are you really serious? Wasn’t that fun trip on Dromund Kaas enough?”

“I’m not forcing anyone to come along. You can all stay on the shuttle if you prefer.”

“Please tell me she’s joking.” Kimble—or rather Doc apparently—seemed to be directing that comment to the rest of the crew emerging from the shuttle.

“Apparently not,” Kira’s voice drifted back.

“You all talk too much.” The imposing figure of a Pureblood Sith strode out from the shuttle, not seeming to notice that Doc had to dodge out of the way. “If you did not wish to come you should have not left Carrick Station.”

“Thank you, Scourge,” Highwind said airily.

“You’re taking his side?”

“No,” her tone sounded a little strained, “but I was the one who agreed to this mission in the middle of our rest time. It’s understandable if you’d rather relax rather than—”

“You are impossible,” Doc’s voice sounded aggrieved. “Please back me up on this, Kira.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that.”

“Master Jedi, if we leave these two here we should achieve a 3.07% increase in efficiency by lack of complaining.”

“No one asked you, Rusk!”

“Welcome to Korriban,” Theron said loudly, feeling a slight thrill of satisfaction when he saw Highwind jump ever so slightly on the holocam feed. “Enjoying the view?”

“Ready to get started,” she said, and he was pretty sure by the way she looked at each member of her crew that she was giving them some sort of silent rebuke. “What’s the situation?”

“Well,” he said casually, “Wave One managed to soften the Imps up some, but there’s still a lot of ground to cover.”

“How far is the Sith Academy?”

“See that big structure off in the distance?”

“You mean the giant pyramid dominating the horizon—yes. It’s a bit hard to miss.”

“That’s where you’re headed. Just… a bit of a walk to get there. You’ll have to cross the Wilds before you enter the Valley of the Dark Lords. And probably a few of said dark lords on the way.”

Theron heard an intake of breath as Kira stepped in closer to her Master. “Those are some unhappy Sith. This isn’t going to be easy.”

“No,” Highwind agreed quietly, “but that hasn’t stopped us before.”

“Good luck,” Theron intoned. “I’ll be in touch.”

He muted his mic, and toned down the volume on her feed so that he could monitor the chatter on this end a little better. Darok watched as Highwind, her crew, as well as their backup squad began to make their way down the cliffside towards the long expanse separating them from the Academy.

The static view from the holocam wasn’t perfect, but it was the best they could do until the strike team could reach a data node and Theron could get some hooks into the Academy’s systems. Another wave of fighters raced overhead, dropping another round of bombs that kicked up debris and so much dirt into the air the visual was obscured for several long seconds. He heard the hiss of a lightsaber being activated over his auditory feed, and turned it down as it quickly descended into a deafening cacophony as the strike team engaged with resistance on the ground.

The dust began to clear on their visual feed, revealing the battle raging in the valley below. Their teams were hardly distinguishable specks from the distance, and from the hazy image it was almost impossible to tell their people apart from the enemy. Except for one caped figure, whirling around faster than humanly possible.

She leapt to and fro, twin violet blades twirling almost as if she were in a dance. She cut through the swathes of enemies as if she were parting water, cape whipping behind her. The rest of her team moved around her in sync, filling in the gaps in each other’s defenses like it had been choreographed beforehand. They quickly gained ground, the commanders of the Imperial ground resistance falling one-by-one. It was almost mesmerizing in its own way.

He didn’t realize he’d been watching quite so intently, or quite so long, until he heard Darok mutter next to him. “You ever seen anything like that?”

Theron had seen Jedi fight, he himself had gone toe-to-toe with members of the Dark Council and lived to tell the tale. But even from a distance, he could tell that what they were witnessing was in a class all of its own. “No.”

“There’s more to that one than first glance.”

For probably the first time since they met, Darok and Theron could agree wholeheartedly on something.

The strike team passed out of view as they ducked through a canyon, and Theron resumed monitoring their progress from one of the GPS on the sketchy Korriban map. A quick visual report from one of Darok’s pilots confirmed more resistance ahead that they were going to have to cut through. Without a visual to back them up, Darok and Theron were both left to monitoring their other various feeds.

He paced the room, listening to the distant echoes of blaster fire and lightsabers clashing over the comm. There was the occasional bit of chatter from her team that drifted through, but Highwind remained quiet other than directing the way or a quick order sent to her crew or Darok’s men that were trailing behind in the path they were forging.

Theron kept an eye on the chrono, the ever-present countdown to their closing window lurking in the back of his mind. They were making good progress, honestly, faster than he had expected. Although, he wasn’t sure exactly what he had been expecting from all of this, but after witnessing the impressive display of combat skills earlier, it hadn’t been that.

The distinctive hum of her lightsaber disappeared with a swish as she deactivated it, and for a moment, there was almost silence on the other end. The lack of noise itself was almost deafening in its own way. Then there was something soft, like a voice in the distance. Next to him he saw Darok’s normal stony expression descend into a frown, and he dialed up the volume on his feed to listen in.

“We need to keep moving—”

“Your armor—you’re with the Republic aren’t you? Please, you must help us!”

The desperate cry barely registered over the sound of boots crunching on the rocky gravel. It was hard to believe that such a small woman could make so much noise as she was walking.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? That’s not why we’re here.” It was the voice of one of Darok’s men, the lieutenant. “We’re not here to hurt you, I promise. Just… try to keep your heads down, all right?”

The heavy footfalls stopped, and he heard Highwind speak. Although it wasn’t with the quiet exasperation she had used with her crew earlier, but the same tone that she had used when she was sizing up Darok earlier. “What’s going on?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Darok muttered, clearly irritated with the delay. “Why have you stopped, Bickell?”

“Got a whole mess of slaves here.” The conflict in the lieutenant’s tone was audible even through the earpiece. “As much as I wish we could do something for them, we can’t. There’s no time.”

“There’s always time,” Highwind said without hesitation, conviction ringing clear in her tone.

“But this op is strictly smash-and-grab. We could risk the whole mission if we pull them out!”

“We can’t leave them behind, Lieutenant.”

“But our orders—”

“Are to secure my retreat, which you have done admirably.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Do whatever it takes—just get them out of here.”

“Shan,” Darok practically snarled, “get a handle on your Jedi! Now.”

Theron glowered at the taller man, for a few long moments thinking of a few ways to knock a little air out of the windbag standing next to him. He managed to wrangle his irritation, as he always did, and shove it deep down as he unmuted his mic.

“Hey there,” he said, the annoyance still simmering just beneath the surface, and possibly leaking into his tone.

“Theron,” she returned, “what’s going on?”

“I was about to ask the same thing. You do remember that this is an extraction mission, not a rescue operation, don’t you?”

“It can be both.”

“And if you send Bickell and the others back, who’s going to secure your retreat?”

“I’ll figure something out,” she said confidently.

He pressed his lips into a thin line as Darok let out a loud snort. Apparently Bickell’s mic was picking up her reply well enough for him to hear. He shut his eyes briefly, gathering the fraying threads of his patience together.

“No one deserves this, Theron,” she said. Although her mic still picked up her voice clearly, from softness in her tone, she had dropped it as if she was trying to talk to just him. “You know how the Empire treats slaves—especially the Sith. Tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing if you were here.”

He wanted to tell her just that, and get her to focus back on the entire point of this mission, on the larger picture. Except that would be a bit hypocritical, considering that he’d nearly gotten his entire career sidelined after accidentally trashing an SIS operation on Nar Shadaa a few years back as he’d refused to let several soldiers be sold into slavery. It had all worked out in the end, but that was beside the point.

“You don’t know me,” he said tersely.

“Tell her that we don’t have time to be rescuing every slave on Korriban,” Darok spat.

Before Theron could even open his mouth to relay the message, her voice filled his ear again, backed with that same steely resolve he was starting to recognize. “I don’t particularly care for the Colonel’s tone.”

Apparently Theron’s mic was more sensitive than he gave it credit for. Perhaps it was possible to tweak equipment a little too well.

“Uh oh,” Doc’s voice drifted through the earpiece, “she’s got that look in her eye.”

“Something tells me I’m glad I’m not hearing what’s going on back on Carrick Station,” Kira agreed.

“You know we can’t spare the men,” Theron finally said.

“Fine.” Her Jedi calm didn’t break, but he could hear the repressed emotion beginning leak into her voice. “We’ll split the difference. My crew will lead them back.”

“Yeah, we’ll—wait, come again?” That was Doc.

“Doc and Rusk will escort them back to the shuttle safely. They’re fully capable.”

“You know it is foolish to split our forces this way, Jedi. Especially over slaves.” The deep tone of Lord Scourge picked up. “There are still many Sith crawling in this valley.”

“These people need our help, Scourge.”

“One day you are going to get us all killed with your pointless compassion.”

“Today will not be that day for you, thankfully, since you’ll be helping them. In case they encounter any of those Sith that you mentioned.”

There was a long silence on the other end, and Theron really wished he had a visual to see exactly what was going down, but even he could feel the tension crackling over the distance. He crossed his arms, and was contemplating breaking the silence when he finally heard a grunt of acknowledgement.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Doc’s voice dropped into Highwind’s, and therefore Theron’s ear, barely a whisper, “do you really think this is wise? Scourge is likely to spear one of them with his lightsaber if they annoy him.”

“That’s why I’m sending you,” she whispered back, “I know you’ll take care of them.”

“I’m always the dashing hero.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.”

“Watch your back in there,” Doc said, the trailing quality of his voice indicating that he was moving away.

“That’s what I’m here for,” Kira called back.

“This distraction has wasted enough of our time.” Darok didn’t exactly snarl, but there was an unrestrained annoyance coloring his tone. “Is she on the way to the Academy, or has she forgotten the reason they’re there?”

“If Colonel Darok wishes to board a shuttle to Korriban and take over this mission personally, he is welcome to,” Highwind said airily. “Otherwise I would suggest that he calm down before he gives himself a stroke.”

Theron felt his lips twitch, and managed to cover the grin with his hand before the burly man next to him saw. It took him an extra moment to smother his mirth completely, and more diplomatically than he ever thought possibly he told Darok, “She’s headed that way now.”

That earned a tight nod before the colonel turned back to his battle plans on the holotable. Theron continued to pace, the only thing he could do to expend his nervous energy. Usually in a situation like this he’d be out there doing his part, not playing games of holophone between Jedi and the military. Stars, he missed field work.

“Now, Theron, that’s not what I said.” If he didn’t know better, he would have thought that he heard a faint trace of amusement.

He wandered over to the section of the holotable that had the reconstructed plans leading to the temple. He pitched his voice low as he replied, not really wanting Darok to overhear. “I’m trying out some of that famous Jedi diplomacy.”

“There’s a difference between diplomacy and lying.”

“It’s diplomacy if you’re headed that way,” he tossed back. “So don’t make a liar out of me now.”

He was pretty sure he was imagining the sound of a resigned sigh over his earpiece. “Diplomacy it is.”

“Good.”

Theron enlarged the holographic view of the map, studying the path they would have to weave before even reaching the Academy’s front doors. They still had a long way to go, the numbers on their strike team had just been halved by the impromptu rescue mission, and their window to escape was shrinking by the minute. Hopefully Darok had been right in his assessment earlier and there was more to this Jedi than met the eye. Theron had a feeling she was going to need more than just some very fancy lightsaber skills before all of this was said and done.

Next Chapter

#swtor fanfiction #theron shan x jedi knight #Theron Shan #Female Jedi Knight/Hero of Tython #oc: greyias highwind #otp: adorkable #smoke and mirrors #SoR Fic O Doom #fanfic #greyfic #i battled a storm to bring you this chapter on thursday #literally it knocked out my power right as i was putting this together

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