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#but the outfit I did myself and I’m honestly kinda impressed with myself ngl
whereisshiki · 1 year
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Shiki Misaki should NOT be in Animal Crossing!
(help, I spent way too much time on making her outfit—)
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catboytheo · 3 years
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p1h's hyung line meeting their s/o's family for the first time.
genre: mostly fluff, a smidge of angst
warnings: none
a/n: featuring p1h's maknae line as your little brothers !!
theo
theo would be looking forward to meeting your family a lot !!
he's waited SO long for this day
and being the sweetheart that he is,
theo brought some sunflowers for your mom in hopes of making a good first impression on her 🥺
"i grew them myself! i hope you like them, mrs. y/l/n."
needless to say, your mom instantly takes a liking to theo
she kept calling him "sweetheart" which made theo very happy
Mom Approved ✅
on the other hand, your dad wasn't as easy to impress
your dad kept interrogating poor theo but luckily theo handled it pretty well
eventually your dad cut him some slack which made theo relieved
theo was the most excited to meet your younger brother, jongseob
because he loves kids 🥺
oh and also he's gotta make a good impression on his potential future brother in-law 👀
after dinner with your parents, you go upstairs and knock on jongseob's door
"jongseob?? can you come downstairs and say hi to theo? he wants to meet you."
"but i'm on a really good chapter right now"
"i'll buy you a new book if you come downstairs to say hi to him."
"did you say a new book??"
honestly i think jongseob would be kinda shy about meeting theo
jongseob has mentioned that he has trouble talking with new people
so theo would try to talk to jongseob first and get to know him better
they talk for a few mins but it was awkward the whole time
but they end up bonding after a round of wii sports 😌
keeho
ngl your parents would be a little intimidated by keeho's appearance at first
keeho gives me frat boy vibes i'm sorry 😭
i mean that in the nicest way possible ^
but once they talk to keeho and get to know him more,
they fall for his friendliness, sociability, and sense of humor
keeho was also super positive and kind throughout the whole time
there was never a dull moment during his conversations with your parents
your parents end up liking keeho a lot
however, your younger brother, soul.........
soul would be extremely skeptical of your boyfriend at first
plus, he wasn't exactly thrilled that your attention was gonna go to your boyfriend instead of him now :((
he would silently stare at keeho from a distance while crossing his arms and all that
angsty teenage boys you know 😩
but soul gradually warms up to keeho after he realizes how caring and fun he is
in fact, keeho treats soul as if he was his own son
soon enough, soul found himself wanting to hang out with keeho rather than with you 💔
"y/n, when is keeho hyung coming over again 🥺"
your parents strongly approve of how keeho takes care of soul so well
jiung
your parents would LOVE jiung so much omg
he's just naturally charismatic
and very polite and helpful too
jiung helps your parents prepare dinner
and he's genuinely interested in what they had to say
by the end of dinner, you can tell that jiung has definitely won your parents over
however, your younger brother, intak, still wasn't so sure of your boyfriend
intak would be polite towards jiung but wouldn't let his guard down
ok but why can i see intak taking out his phone and doing a quick background check on jiung 💀
anyway you notice that intak usually slouches around the house,
but oh boy, when jiung was here,
intak straightened his posture up to look even taller in attempt to intimidate jiung
little did jiung know, intak had the personality of a literal golden retriever puppy
eventually they start to become more comfortable around each other
especially when jiung takes interest in intak's sense of style and compliments him on his outfit
"nice fit bro" 😎
"thanks hyung. yours isn't too bad either"
after some time, they become good friends with each other which makes you and your parents happy
intak even ends up giving your boyfriend a nickname too: 'jyung,' a combo of jiung + hyung 🥺
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laufire · 4 years
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In depth fandom ask: the last fandom you joined bc I can't remember it now
Well, I guess the last fandom I’ve properly joined --making a few edits, starting yet-another-WIP etc.-- is Black Sails, so. Plus I want to talk about it a little, spoiler-free, in case you decide to watch it ^-^ (I’ll leave that to the s3 post I need to finish...).
Top 5 favourite characters: Max is my number one, without a doubt, and of the rest of my faves Silver has an edge... but the remaining positions are a tough fight between Flint, Jack, Madi and Miranda, and I honestly can’t choose DD:
Other characters you like: Mr. Scott, Anne, Idelle, the Maroon Queen, Billy, Eme, Abigail... This show has a lot of great characters tbh.
Least favourite characters: I still loathe Peter Ashe with every fiber of my being. Alfred Hamilton is obviously The Worst(TM). And though it hasn’t grown into hate (yet), I don’t like Woodes Rogers one bit ¬¬
Otps: Flint/Miranda, and the combos in Flint/Madi/Silver and Anne/Jack/Max (in no particular order at the moment because I just HAVE TONS OF FEELS ABOUT THEM ALL).
Notps: I don’t have strong NOPE feelings towards anything, but I’m not into Eleanor/Max (which is a dynamic I actually really like BUT that I’m glad it doesn’t return to shippiness LOL); Eleanor/Rogers (I might be indifferent towards Eleanor most of the time but I haaaaaate Rogers for her. RUN GIRL), Flint/Vane (booooooooring).
Favourite friendships: Max & Silver (THE duo I swear), Jack & Max, Flint & Silver, Idelle & Max (I might not have said so before but I guess I like a little conflict LMFAO), Billy & Flint (NOT a friendship, but their relationship absolutely cracks me up I swear. “Who’s Billy?” XDDD).
Favourite family: Madi’s family, which is all I can say without getting spoilery. I just. *lies down on the floor overcome with emotions* xDD
Favourite episodes: the problem with binge-watching (okay, I’ve taken s3 more slowly but) is that they all kinda blur together LOL. Hmm. The season finales are all *chefs kiss* so far (sometimes in a very painful way... I’m looking at you s2. Though the ominous Flint/Silver moments in the s3 were A LOT too); any in which I get to see Max & Silver scheming together ofc. And the first handful of eps in s3 were particularly enjoyable to me because I was drowning in PURE ANGST and Flint & Silver feels xDD (I can’t NOT believe the fandom seems to call one of those “the shark date” asñldfjasdfñl).
Favourite season/book/movie: oof. I honestly can’t pick; s1 is probably the “least” because the others include better moments for some of my secondary faves, and because there’s a plot that’s really hard to watch... BUT it has things on it I adore to pieces too. s1-2 doesn’t have Madi (major drawback xD), and s3 is after one of my faves’ death... but frankly they’re all neck and neck so far.
Favourite quotes: “I am ruined over you” always comes to mind DD: “Liked is just as good as feared”; Max combo with Eleanor about sand (typing that down made me think of Anidala LMFAO. The scene itself is very different though! xD) in the s1 finale; “in another time, in another place, they would call me a queen”; “this ends when I grant them my forgiveness, not the other way around”, Mr. Scott’s “No. Only YOU.”... honestly, this show’s dialogue is just too good(TM), I could just quote it all back xD. And of course, I HAVE to mention “WHO’S BILLY”. It’s the law.
Best musical moment: the score is perfection all around, but given that I never skip the intro just to listen and watch it... yeah, the intro xD
Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: well, I *might* have lost it the moment CAPTAIN FLINT COMES OUT TO LONG JOHN SILVER OVER A BONFIRE, IDK XDD
When it really disappointed you: the fact that I won’t get to see a fully fleshed out Mr. Scott-Silver dynamic is MAJORLY disappointing, let me tell you. That Flint’s actor didn’t somehow get his mother (aka Maggie Smith aka Professor McGonagall aka Lady Violet) on the show too ¬¬. LOL.
Saddest moment: character’s deaths of two of the characters listed on “top 5”/“others you like” xD.
Most well done character death: the hanging in 3x09 was well done and served its purpose.
Favourite guest star: for a value of “guest star”... I’m going with Idelle.
Favourite cast member: Jessica Parker Kennedy is the one that I know and love for other projects she’s done.
Character you wish was still alive: THE ONE WE TRAGICALLY LOST IN 2x09.
One thing you hope really happens: I’m cheating because I know there’s some of that in s4, but I want to watch more Flint/Madi interactions pls.
Most shocking twist: well, I wasn’t spoiled for Mr. Scott’s plot in s3 so I was (pleasantly) surprised by that xD
When did you start watching/reading?: a little over two weeks ago; I watched (devoured) s1-s2 and 3x01-3x04 in a few days because I wanted to meet Madi, and then I tragically had to slow down :(((
Best animal/creature: I will always love Treasure Islands’  parrot that Silver named after Flint LMFAO.
Favourite location: Nassau aka Max’s ~domain xD. And Miranda’s house.
Trope you wish they would stop using: noooooone. I love the tropes this show reuses LMFAO. Romantic Betrayals(TM), triumvirates, “good things happen in the dark/away from civilization”, the power of narratives, social climbing and revolt... bring them oooooon.
One thing this show/book/film does better than others: quite a few xD. But one that really stands out to me is the dialogue; both the ~deep and sorrowful type (there were so many quotes where I had to take a break to freak out properly lol), and the humorous ones.
Funniest moments: I know I’m repeating myself, but I recently rewatched the pilot to edit some scenes and I keep remember the WHO’S BILLY one xDD (which I maintain it was Flint trolling him. He could give Abigail a rundown of Billy’s whole life story AND he shamelessly checked him out that one time. Flint knows who Billy is, he’s just an asshole xD). Really, all the scenes between Billy and Flint in that episode are comedic gold lmfao. Billy’s “oh dear I fucked up” expression when he tells Flint the crew has started to think him weak and Flint looks half a second away from murdering him right there, his WTF face at Flint’s antics with the stolen page... Gold, seriously.
Couple you would like to see: I meannnnnn. I would’ve been very happy if the show had decided to go with Flint/Madi/Silver, for one. Bonus if Miranda could’ve been included. Or just explicit Flint/Silver in poly arrangements (THEY ARE IN LOVE, IT’S JUST ~COMPLICATED XD).
Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: MAGGIE SMITH DAMMIT.
Favourite outfit: literally everything Max wears in s3. Eleanor’s s1-s2 outfits were things I’d love to wear too. Flint’s ~dramatic coat. Miranda’s collection of supposedly-puritan-but-showing-the-goods dresses xDD (and ofc her London clothes), Jack’s clothes (he’s Nassau’s fashion icon lbr).
Favourite item: the books!! Especially when Flint gave Miranda “La Galatea” as a gift (given that sometimes he reminds me of my OC Latoya, you might understand the freakout I had when he gave the other member of my OTP a book titled like that xDD).
Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: no, but I kinda want to. I did have a Treasure Planet computer game I tragically can’t find... it was about collecting money in increasingly difficult scenarios LOL. And I probably have more pirate-y/Treasure Island theme stuff. I had a long pirate phase xD
What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: Max’s because I like being on the winning team, thanks xD (though I do ~align more with Flint and Madi’s lbr...).
Most boring plotline: Eleanor and Vane’s ~romance is not at all badly written... but the fact that I find both of them boring kinda ruins the whole thing because I always wish that time went to someone else xD. Also, Blackbeard. Meh.
Most laughably bad moment: n/a.
Best flashback/flashfoward if any: the London flashback where Miranda goes to Flint’s house unannounced to take him to an art gallery, she finds him half-naked and he gets all awkward about it lmao. And then they hook up in the carriage :DDD
Most layered character: we get to explore Flint and Silver the most. Silver’s development in particular is something that never ceases to impress me ngl.
Most one dimensional character: except the one-note characters I wouldn’t really call anyone completely one-dimensional, tbh. Though I do think the fandom attributes more complexity to Thomas than it’s seen in canon? Like, I like what I see; I think he’s functional, he works well, and he adds wonderfully to Flint’s (and Miranda’s) story, but I don’t see him as a full character in his own right. Which is perfectly fine for the narrative so far, but I fear it might fall apart for me at the very end.
Scariest moment: I never know what to say in this... I mean, I guess Flint killing a man with his bare hands in the pilot Like That was scary xD. I understand why Silver freaked out LOL.
Grossest moment: any of Max’s interactions with Vane tbh. Stay away from her ¬¬
Best looking male: Flint has that ruggedly handsome thing going on for him, if you’re into that (and sometimes I do appreciate his ~aesthetics... very sad he shaved his head in s3 though. Like, I get you did it for the Angst, honey, and trust me, I Feel U, but still). I feel like I might be forgetting someone, but seriously, none of the dudes in this show so far do anything for me LOL. I can honestly say I love them for their personalities xDD
Best looking female: I have a weakness for Max, but Miranda, Madi, Anne, the Maroon Queen, Idelle, Eme... all of them are gorgeous in their own way. This show is good for sapphic women’s enjoyment in that sense xDD.
Who you’re crushing on (if any): I could crush on any of the women mentioned above tbh.
Favourite cast moment: I have literally only seen this post about an interview where Flint’s actor says he’s too old to party with The Youth of the cast and just wants to chill on the weekend... with bonus Max and Eleanor’s actress talking about how Vane’s once climbed the side of a building up AND back down. I’m with you, Toby Stephens, you don’t need those shenanigans xDD
Favourite transportation: the Walrus, for sentimental reasons LOL. I liked stolen Spanish warship too.
Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): lots of good ones, though I think my fave might be the one of Miranda sitting by the window in London. Or the one of Charles Town burning down, I liked that :))) (I remember thinking “Flint better go full Daenerys on them”. And he did! It was nice xD).
Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: n/a, so far.
Best promo: n/a.
At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: I liked it from the word go, but the moment that TRULY cemented it for me was in 1x03, with Max making a decision that I... frankly didn’t expect. It made things worse for her in the short-term, the storyline itself was difficult and disturbing to watch and I still have some mixed feelings about it. But what it said about her as a character and how her journey goes after that... I was in awe of her, and of the show.
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SPOP Season 4 notes
Spoilers obvi
Gonna be a bit different from my s3 notes, as I’m p much just gonna liveblog stuff here- Since I dont wanna spoil my friends... Rip 😔
Ep 1:
Mom: Icecream cake :-D me, sobbing: Mom I love you
Every time my mom does something I cry. I love and miss her sm
YALL JUST HURTIN PERFUMA LIKE THIS-
WHY CAN THE SWORD BE A MOP-
Ya know I always thought Hordaks red teeth were fuckin weird af
GRANDMA GRANDMA GRANDMA GRANDMA
GO GET MY GIRLFRIEND YOU UGLY KITTY
EMILYYYYYYYYY AWAAAA
They really out here just reusing the princess prom outfits huh?
Really though I swear if Entrapta doesnt come back I’ll scream. You cant just trade in my beautiful amasing gf for me. I know I’m great but I swear.
Rip Auntie Angella.... 😔
I wasn’t even there for the corrination- I kinda feel bad for that but... I was alittle busy... With somethin- Hell if I know what.
HELL YEAH QUEEN GLIMMERRR
Oh hot diggity Catra-
Look I may not like her but I can really respect her tactics....
EP 2:
Okay what does Perfuma have against the crimson wastes- Hopefully its (Rightful) fear!
Oh nooo the gooooo
One does not simply call Adora soft
Aweeee Perfuma and Bow bonding...
Perfuma is cacti-phobic hahahaha
O.O Wheres the ship
Huntara eats sand and theres nothing you can do about it.
OOOO NEW TOWN NEW TOWN NEW TOWN
MEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME
AH YES MY FIRST WORDS ARE BEING SCORPIA AND FLIRTING WITH CATRA. HOW FITTING.
God im so dramatic I love it
Perfuma Im so proud of you bb
Hot take? Perfuma x Huntara
AWEEE IM SO HAPPYYYYYYYY
Honestly being Catra was always fun
Ep 3:
Pajamas Catra? Catra without her headband? Wild shit. Wild shit.
She cute tho ngl
Oh hecc its time to fuck with the rebels-
I s2g its rly lookin like my tl may just be flip flopped on which side I helped- Idk... its only ep 3 jfkbgf
Wittle moth society... so cute...
Flutterina... Adorable
SHE RA CAKE
The moth town leader is adorable. Precious old lady. I love her. her design is amazing. 10/10 I love her
Wait what-
Ohhhh my god what happened-
Catra if you dont start appreciating Scorpia right this second I swear to god I will appreciate her myself.
Flutterina is so precious. All her fangirling...
Are we gonna explorer the whole.. reaction catra has every time someone mentions the Portal??
MAGICAL SACRED BOND TIME
FLUTTERINA IS A PRECIOUS BABY AND I LOVE HERRR
SCORPIAAAA SIS GET OVER HERE LEMME HUG UUUU
Oh....
OH
O H
OKAY
I AM ON BOARD WITH THIS
Ep.4
Spinerella and nettossa are precious 100%
Okay but I’m right. tiny cute and pink. I didnt even catch it. I done fooled myself.
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Am cutie
GRANDMAS BA C K BOIISSSSS
god I love shadow weaver. I miss her sm
B O BB N O
OKAY SPOT ON BO IMPRESSION!
IM SO CUUUTTTEEE
Yaaayyyyy Catras having fun!
WEAVER LIKES DAISIES. PRECIOUS. AWA. GWANDMAAAA
She makes great bait and u know it.
Oh no are the gfs fighting-
Catra legit thought glimmer was me I love this-
CATRA WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT GLITTER TASTES LIKE-
..... Okay literally as I type thet I get mems of her eating glitter okay cool
Ohhh That was cool-
Hey Catra dont hide your grateful attitude you dick
God I love these girlfriends
LET WEAVER BE GOOD ADORA
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This is cute
Ep 5
Kyle you precious little boy
Oh are they finally gonna develop these three?
Ditzy light hope is cute light hope
SHES ALL SMILEYYYY
I love Kyle launie and roheleo... Precious
“I made a crystal :-D”
“I know what will help!” “no dont-”
Kyle I love you
“Oh trust me the information is never gonna load for you.”
Lookit these... three siblings.... Blessed babes
COMPUTER MOM HAS EMOTIONS
AWA
KYLE BABY NOOO
HARD SQUINTING AT LIGHT HOPE
EP 6
Oh boi Scoria episode here we go
God I love that she kept Emily....
Scorpia is too bright and cheery for the hoarde. Redeem her damnit
Hecc I hate that Im being so mean to the best friend squad but oooog its so fun to watch
Emily’s personality is so cuuuteee -w-
Emily scared of Catra.. precious
SCORPIA YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER-
I wanna hug her so bad
Hehehehehehe >:)
Damnit Bo, ruining my work-
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CRYING
Scorpias entrapta impression tho
SCORPIA YOU TOUCH THAT GARNET GOD DAMNIT
Im gonna cry, emilys recordings....
GOD I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND-
..... Whats goin on with the Garnet...
LET GLIMMER BE DARK
THE GREATEST HUGS, SCORPIA. GREATEST HUGS
Emily youre so smart.
SCORPIA FINALLY KNOWIN SHES WORTH BETTER HELL YEAH YOU GO SISTER
Catra rly needs a hug tbh
OHHHH HELL YESSSSSS
God I wanna know more about the scorpion kingdom....
Ep 7
Mermista you are too happy when holding everyone in a room against their will
OH OKAY THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY
SPOILERS MERMISTA
Ohhh hohoho I am lovin this story~
Shadow weaver bein an embarassing mom to Adora, adorable
Adora was absolutely suspicious of Weaver in my tl 100% Sure I made her more trusted, but Adora is stubborn
BFDJKGBFJKD ENTRAPTAS HELPERS ARE IN THE CASTLE
Ooooooo This is a great ep...
Ohh Im having fun arent I~
Ohhhhhhh Shiiiiiiiiiiit Rip selenious
Ep8
I hope yallre keepin an eye on me, Or I’ll get out >:-)
Awee depressed baby :-(
SHANTYYYY
OH THIS IS PRECIOUS
Seahawk this is a terrible idea....
This better be a musical episode
BDHJFBD WRONG KIDNAPPERS
I love depressed mermista
Return of the she-mop!
Oooo seahawk past....
Awee Catra misses Scorpia
And is finally realizin shes gone
O u c h poor Seahawk
OW GLIMMER
HELL YEAH MERMISTA
“A SEAGULL TOLD ME!”
Oooo Catra, a natural born killer~
I love bein able to finally see Octavia in action
Low key musical Ep, hell yesssss
I already shipped mermista and seahawk but this ep... Is just makin me ship it more....
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SCORPIA HAS MOMS
The fact that it took this long for Catra to finally go to scorpias room and check on her
How the fuck do the boats work
Ep 9
OHHHHH Razz gets the sheras mixed up thats honestly so cute-
Razz... I lov u
I love her refrences to the old charas
Razzzz awe precious.. The first time...
Oooo I love seein Mara
AWEE LIGHT HOPE SOFT FOR MARA
Good I feel bad for Razz tbh??? hoppin back and forth between Sheras
MARAS TRANSFORMATIONNNNN
God she looks so much better than Adora holy fuck
NOOO RAZZ DONT CRYYY
HOLY FUCKING SH I WHAT THE F U CFDHFDJBKJGBSKED
Hot fucking damn I didnt expect this what the sh iiiiiii
I STILL WANNA HUG RAZZ-
Ep 10
DAMN IM SO COLD XD
That fuckin POOF
PLEAAASSEE LET ME AND WEAVER BOND PLZ I WANT MY GRANDMAAAAA
Let Frosta nap 2020
SCORPIAAAA
DONT SNEAK UP BEHIND SCORPIA
Daaaamn Catra... Go take a nap hun, you look terrible
Oh sweetie.....
Glimmer please you didn’t see what they saw.
Aaaannnnd Okay the queenliness is goin to her head cool
SCORPIA BABYYYY
Caaaatttrrraaaaa
LOOPY LOOP BETRAYAL
God I love them learning the ship
FBHJSDBFSJHVFD OH MY GOD FAKE TEARS
SHE DID IT IM SO PROUD OF HERRR
Ep11
Eeeeee I hope they find my blessed gorl.....
Whats swifty hearin..
OH SHIT SHERA DOESNT WORK-
I cant believe the first ones just have a fucking dump
MICHA MICHAM ICHA ITS MY UCLE I KNOW IT
HELL YEAH BAEBEEEEEE
I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE
Sweet my uncles just a lil crazy haha
MICHA I LOV YOU
Awaaaaaa
Glimmer loses one parent and gains the other. Girl only gets one parent at a time. Hahahaha
The world has to nerf her lmao
Hell yeah hes cool!
Okay cool proof that Lighthope just wants to activate the weapon
Guys just tell him she’s a teenager omfg
Hoooooly hecc
NOOOOOOOO aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
SHE RAAAAA
MY WIIIFFFEEEE
AAAAAAAA
YAASSSS
EEEEE
Ohhhh Scorpia is the key.....
Interesting.......
Ep 12
EVEN WEAVER IS CONFUSED
You bet you ass Ive escaped bitches >:)
-cries- I’ve missed my wife
Awaaa she never changes!
Someone hug Catra I s2g
DT nooooooo
SHE SHOWS NO CONNECTION BECAUSE YOU TOOK IT WEAVER-
I adore Weaver in this season- Who am I kidding, I adore Weaver in every season
THe hoarde is led by two kids who just need some tender love and care
God Ive missed her...
SWEETIE WHY ARE YOU SO CHEERY ALL THE TIME- AAA I LOVE YOU
squinty
Uhhhggggg I now hate that I remember having a runestone of my own
Tho I DO wanna know what kinda powers Scorpia will get....
Sweetie no non onononononononononononononoono
BABY NOOO NO NO O NONONONONONONONONONO
IM GONNA CRY SHE BETTER BE OKAY-
YESS BABY
AWAAA ENTRAPTA I LOVE YOUUUU
bdhsvfbjskbfd I can only do her hair bjkvfdbgfkd
OWO IM SO SMART YET SO DUMB
HORDAK TEARS?!
Hehehehehe YES I HELPED GLIMMER
Ep 13
Nobodies followin Catra anymore lmao
Ohhhh shit Catras gonna d i e
Rip in pieces Hordak
Ohhh shiiiiiiii
SEAHAWK LIL HEART EYES
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I love callin Catra out ohhhh my g o d
OOoooooo Lightning!
I gotta question that rn Glimmer...
Damnit Hordak aint dead...
Ohhh hecc hecc hecc hecc
OH SHIT THE SWORD-
Ya rly just teleport a whole room like that-
I like horde prime-
His eyes are cool and his palette is so much nicer aaaa
Fffffuck
Fave season so far
And not just cause I’m finally in it xD
Expect more posts when the mems really start pouring... Gotta figure out how all this changed in my TL since it DEFINITELY wasn’t just like this-
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young-potato-salad · 7 years
Text
My experience of whatever
I’ve been meaning to make a post like this for a while, where I elaborate to myself about how I experience gender and my discomforts with either gender or gender roles/stereotypes. This is mainly to help me figure out things and actually see my thoughts. May or may not post it publicly. If you’re reading this, you can probably figure out my decision. If you have any suggestions or just wanna put your thoughts on this, please do.
I never fit into the boxes of girl or boy, nor was I able to interact well with boys or girls in my town or school. I ended up becoming a weird mix of tomboy and girly-girl. It would either be that I looked boyish and acted girly, or vice versa. Sometimes I would lean towards tomboy or girly-girl, but it was usually in the middle. That honestly doesn’t mean anything. I’ve always had trouble interacting with people, and now that I’ve matured since being an unpredictable kid, we’re starting to figure out if that behavior is linked to anything like anxiety or stuff now, but that’s not the point. Gender didn’t mean anything to me when I was small, like most kids. Fast-forward to end of elementary school years-beginning of middle school. Still a mess at interacting properly and in attempt to fitting in, I tried making myself extremely feminine. Skirts and pinks and jewelry and never going into the “boy’s aisle” in the toy store. That stuff. I did it purely to fit in, and it didn’t work. Realizing the femininity wasn’t working for me and for others, I just kinda did whatever. School dresscodes made things easy, since the outfit I wore was the same as the guys and girls. I liked doing girly and boyish stuff, but I never did the boyish stuff around others because I grew up with the impression that only ____ can do _____. Gender still meant nothing, and had no concept of gender roles, but I didn’t like them nonetheless. End of middle school years come and high school is approaching. There were moving up ceremonies or whatever that I had to attend, and of course I had to wear formal attire. NGL, I didn’t mind the dresses too much, but I didn’t like how people saw me because of the dresses. I didn’t recognize a difference between gender and gender roles or presentation, so I just came to the conclusion that I didn’t like being a girl because wearing dresses made me a girl ( it only made me look like a girl if you weren’t picking up ). I didn’t really know how to describe it, so I kinda just forgot about it and focused on school instead. And here we are now. A friend of mine came out as trans, so I started to wonder if maybe that was why I was so uncomfortable with myself. I now know that I’m not trans, but I’m not quite sure of who I am though. Let’s skip past all of the nonbinary “genders” I questioned and get to where I am. I’m starting to think that the feelings that I thought were dysphoria are now just related to wanting to look androgynous. I want a less feminine body, but not necessarily a masculine body. I’m still uncomfortable with calling myself a woman or girl or whatever, which is why I’m not fond of the idea of dropping the term agender. I don’t mean I’m genderless, but in terms of man or woman, I don’t really relate myself to either. It’s what best describes my feelings towards myself, mostly socially. But not biologically. I’m still a woman, I guess. I don’t like calling myself that but I won’t deny what’s true. I guess you’d call me GNC? I’m not sure. It feels good to get everything out and see what led up to this. I’m probably gonna grow out of the word agender, but at the moment, it’s just the best way I’m able to describe myself, to myself. I wish it wasn’t conflicted with transgender, or just gender in general. I want a more androgynous appearance with my body so I can be more androgynous. I’m not trans, not all of this nonbinary whatever, I’m just trying to make sense of myself and find comfort with myself. so yeah, that’s how i got to where i am now with stuff. i’m trying to not think about it too much and just focus on the important things in my life like getting school done and working on hobbies and stuff. i say stuff a lot.
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