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#but that’s a whole can of worms I don’t think I ever got to open yet XD

paintedkinzy-88 · 20 days

Note

Hello! I am New to the blog so... If some of my questions are repeated i am sorry.

Does Neil exist in TTS? He is the green cat of dreamtale (saying this because some people don't know about him)

Also sorry for bad english.

Hello and welcome (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ absolutely no problem, don’t worry!

Yes, he does! Sorta. Ish.

In TTS, Neil was the only good villager, but everyone from Dreamtale died after Night’s corruption, so really the only influence on the story he has would be good memories. And Dream, eventually, realizing that Neil was one of the only ones that hadn’t taken advantage of his kindness. He probably gave him and Noot’s pillows tbh (not that Dream would have them anymore, as the only thing from his initial hoard that survived was his cape.)

FED however… all the villagers are still alive. 👀 Neil likely plays a big part in welcoming Horrortale citizens to their village, and is the only one Error trusts with literally anything.

#he also plays a decent role in Winged Dreamtale #but that’s a whole can of worms I don’t think I ever got to open yet XD #asks #undertale #undertale multiverse #dragon balance au #dream sans #nightmare sans #dreamtale #fed au #Wyrms on strings au

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seokgyuu · 4 months

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growing up with heeseung, jay and sunghoon you never once imagined them being anything more to you than your childhood best friends - and to some extent you're correct: they remain your gross boy best friends up until college, when suddenly things start to feel different. with all of them.

✧ heeseung x fem!reader, jay x fem!reader, sunghoon x fem!reader ✧

✧ childhood friends to lovers, fake dating trope, college setting, story begins in childhood and leads us through all the important phases ✧

✧ this work contains: intended lowercase, poor tries at comedy, simp!hee, simp!hoon & simp!jay as well as very oblivious reader, jake as the first ever boyfriend, hanni, chaewon and beomgyu have a cameo ✧

✧ warnings! mentions of bullying, smut (MDNI), more to be added if needed. ✧

hi! for my very first enha fic I have decided to open a taglist! You can join it by sending me an ask, so that I can keep track.

taglist: open

current word count: 4k

estimated word count: 15-20k

posting date: tba

taglist: @kgneptun, @deobitifull, @lovelickies, @tinie03, @moon4moony, @sousydive, @jebetwo, @haechology, @wooziswife, @havetaeminforbreakfast, @vannabanana1995, @nctislifue , @wiley199, @lovgfrd, @heegyuwrld, @caravm, @adoredbyjay, @notevenheretbh1

teaser

the principal's office could really use an interior designer, you think. or just a whole renovation at this point. the ceiling is showing signs of leakage, there is paint peeling off the walls behind the desk. and the desk itself, jeez, principal higgs should have gotten rid of it ages ago, you keep telling him!

“how many visits will that be for the week?” he doesn’t even look up from whatever he was writing as he says this. you shift on your seat and look to your left where jay is tapping his fingers on the armrest of the uncomfortable chair and heeseung next to him is just staring at the principal’s receding hairline. meanwhile sunghoon to your right is silently plotting your death.

since none of the boys speak up, you clear your throat.

“the fourth, sir,” you say with a smile you think is charming but it actually isn’t. principal higgs sighs and puts his pen down as well as his glasses, massaging the bridge of his nose.

“thank you, miss y/l/n,” he replies, “and how many more times are you planning to sit in these horribly uncomfortable chairs this week?”

“none, sir,” you continue, the smile still playing on your lips. the older man behind the desk closes his eyes for a second.

“you say that every time and yet here we are again. so, what did you do this time? did you accidentally fall and hit mr. park in the face again?” he looks at jay, who rolls his eyes at the reminder, “well, he doesn’t look like he got a black eye. so, what is it?”

when even you don’t respond, avoiding the principals eyes as he opens them again and the boys are all hopeless cases anyways, mr. higgs takes a deep breath and puts his glasses back on.

“fine. let’s see,” he pulls on the stack of papers he has gotten from his secretary and looks at it with his lips pursed. all four of you shift on your seats now.

“alright then. mr. lee, as it seems you… put several worms in mr. sim’s locker?” higgs eyebrow pierces up and heeseung coughs.

“and mr. park, jay, you… sabotaged mr. sim’s chair so that he fell on to his backside and then told him to “go suck it”?” jay snorts, still tapping against the armchair and not looking at the principal. higgs takes a deep breath.

“mr. park, sunghoon,… you held out your leg for mr. sim to fall over… almost twenty-three times in one day.”

sunghoon has to concentrate not to look too proud of himself.

“and finally, miss y/l/n. you yelled at mr. sim in front of your whole class, saying, and i quote “you’re a stupid asshat anyways, i hope you trip and break your butt, you ugly little worm”.”

you smile innocently.

“you also kicked him in the shins, as a grand ending gesture, as mrs. james was kind enough to write down for me.”

he puts the notebook down and looks at the four of you.

“come on you guys, i know you like to play harmless pranks on teachers. like to make one joke too many in class. but this? if mr. sim’s parents hear about this, and they will, there could be consequences that even i can’t hold back.”

#enhypen fanfiction #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #jay x reader #heeseung x reader #sunghoon x reader #jake x reader #enhypen fic #enhypen imagines #enha x reader #enha fluff #enha smut #enha fanfiction #enhypen fluff #enhypen au #enha au #enha imagine

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arc-misadventures · 11 days

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The VTuber: The Ninja

VTubers are an eclectic assortment of fellows. Ranging form, humans, to catgirls, dwarfs to elfs, from dragons to loli’s. They were an odd sort.

There were various characters among this assortment of individuals as well. From dragons to knights, barkeepers to schoolgirls. Often times they were all of these at once. So it came as no surprise that one VTuber was a combination of two of these particular eclectic tastes.

Like a catgirl, and a ninja combined into one.

For that’s how one would describe the VTuber SushiandShibari. Aka, NyanNinja.

Least that’s how people described her appearance, when it came to her personality, that was a whole different can of worms to deal with.

~~~

Instead of doing, SushiandShibari’s usual stream videos; Playing romance game, to horror games, and the like. She was stuck in an unexpectedly awkward conversation with friend: DraGunShow.

SushiandShibari: So… Care to explain why you just jumped into my stream, call me a bitch?

DraGunShow: Ughhhhh…

DraGunShow: I lost the bet we made…

SushiandShibari: What bet?

DraGunShow: The one where you bet I couldn’t get, Errant to blush.

SushiandShibari: Oh that one, so you called me a bitch because you couldn’t get him to blush? That’s rude.

DraGunShow: No… My chat let it slip what was going on because they were making bets on whether, or not I could do it. So, he changed the game on me; Who ever blushes first loses, and wins their chats betting pool money. And, I lost… Oh god did I lose!

SushiandShibari: It wasn’t that bad was it?

DraGunShow: He asked me if I ride a motorbike, to which I do. So he asked if you have to grab the handlebar to drive it.

SushiandShibari: Is he thinking about getting a motor bike? Oh I bet he would look food on a bike!

DraGunShow: He would look damn hot on a bike~! Ahem! But, no that’s not what he asked about.

SushiandShibari: It wasn’t? Then what did he ask?

DraGunShow: He asked if he had to grab me by my horns to ride me.

SushiandShibari’s eyes inwidened as her mouth fell open, look at her chat in wild shock as she processed the words her friend had just said. Leaving her with, but one course of action to hearing that.

SushiandShibari: DAMNNNN! That is so hot!

DraGunShow: I turned tail, and ran like hell! I could not stay around him anymore! I have never been so thoroughly flirted with before in all my life!

SushiandShibari: Really? I thought you got flirted with a lot.

DraGunShow: No I don’t, I tend to teasingly flirt with other people.

SushiandShibari: Like me.

DraGunShow: Like you, but I don’t tend to be flirted with. Least most of the times I’ve been flirted with people tend to ‘flirt’ with my boobs.

SushiandShibari: With your boobs?

DraGunShow: ‘Hey babe, nice buns you got there, how about I put my sausage between them?”

DraGun’s voice dropped into what could only be described as her best ‘dude bro’ voice. Or that, Muscleman character, whatever you felt was more adept.

NyanNinja however looked on in horror for several reasons, least of all was the voice she impersonated.

SushiandShibari: A guy once used that exact same line on me?!

DraGunShow: Oh shit, really?

SushiandShibari: Yes, but he wasn’t talking about my breasts, bastard was talking about my ass!

DraGunShow: Ppfff-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

DraGun burst into a fit of laughter as, NyanNinja’s ears flattened against her head as she glared at her friend.

SushiandShibari: Its not funny, quit laughing!

DraGunShow: Like hell it is! “Hey babe, can I hotdog your ass?” Pfft! Hahahahaha!

SushiandShibari: Grrrrrrr! Listen here you…?

NyanNinja was about to start berating her friend when an automated voice from a donation started playing.

: Hello Sushi, I noticed you lack of notifications sounds, and I decided to make one, adding it to your streams prompt pack. Enjoy.

SushiandShibari: Uh oh…

DraGunShow: Oi! Aren’t you supposed to review those before people are allowed to put stuff on there? In case someone put on something inappropriate that could get you cancelled?

SushiandShibari: I do! But, there is a filter, so if people say anything with certain words they’ll…?!

: Good girrrl~!

SushiandShibari: …?!

DraGunShow: …?!

The duo’s blood frozen in their veins as a shiver of excitement coursed down their spines. The pair looked to one another before addressing chat.

DraGunShow: W-W-Was that what I think it is…?

SushiandShibari: Please tell me it was!

: Good girrrl~!

DS: Ahhhh~!

The pair, for the lack of a better word fainted in shear excitement, and the coursing thrill as they heard those words, or more importantly who said those words. For it was a simple sound bite from everyone’s favourite paladin, Errant.

DraGunShow: He called me a good girl!

SushiandShibari: Like hell he did! This is my stream, I’m the good girl!

DraGunShow: Fine, but only the first one is yours, I get the second one!

SushiandShibari: Like hell! They’re both mine! Every time he says that it’s fucking mine!

DraGunShow: Then chat! Give me that sound bite too! I want to be called a good girl too! In fact! Give me every sound bite like that I want them! I want them all!

SushiandShibari: I want them too! Give me all the sound bits of him being sexy! I NEED THEM!

DS: NOW!!!

~~~

Meanwhile while, ErrantryPaladin was watching a video recommended to him by chat, he hit pause as he stopped, and looked around. A worrying expression etched across his face as he looked about expecting some sort of monster to suddenly pop out, and attack him.

ErrantryPaladin: C-Chat… anyone else just get this foreboding sense of unease… Like something bad is about to happen…

Errant continued to look about before he stopped as he saw a message appear on his screen, offering him a deal he couldn’t help, but view suspiciously.

ErrantryPaladin: Okay… why the hell are you bribing me with thirty subs if I say, ‘ara ara’ in a seductive voice?

#rwby #jaune arc #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #vtuber au

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azumasoroshi · 1 year

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suzume no tojimari spoilers ! hi guys im Insane

literature analysis brain is going haywire so here’s a bunch of incoherent ramblings some themes motifs and symbolism i love in this movie because AAAAAAA

Love and Sacrifice.

Obviously, but like the different kinds of love and devotion and how they’re never perfect and sometimes self-destructive but they’re so powerful and just waughhh. It was so important to me how after exploding at her Tamaki (suzume’s aunt, ik im not the only one who forgets names) was like “you know I don’t feel that way all the time, right?” like not denying that yes, she has felt exhausted of taking care of Suzume and sometimes wished she didn’t have to take care of her, trying to be the parental figure she needs while also trying to not encroach on her sister’s memory. It means so much to me that she didn’t deny those feelings but instead told Suzume that it’s not how she always feels, because loving someone means sacrifice and ewughghgghfgfh im not putting this into words well but htrggfhgf.

and ALSO the reciprocation of kindness with daijin - as thanks for the taste of freedom at last, and wanting to be with someone whom you love but not really comprehending that what they want (that “suzume doesn’t love me” killed me) and how by the end daijin helped her pull souta out and sacrificed himself for suzume because he really loved her ggrgfggfhfnfnch

And just. everyday love. This is kind of a mix of themes and motifs but every time we flashed back to the memories of whatever abandoned place they were in - the simple “good morning”s and “be back soon” and “it’s so hot”s made me choke up. the mundane love of Chika and Suzume in their newly found friendship, Rumi’s kindness in picking Suzume up off the street and her love for her children, Serizawa’s platonic love for Souta letting him drive these two crazy women with crazy beef for 7 hours across Japan, there’s just so much expression of love and the hardships people go through because of it and rhgrjgrjhgdhgjhb

Mourning and Closure.

Makoto Shinkai himseld said that he wanted to write a story about “mourning deserted places” (at least according to Wikipedia) so this one is all but textual but like yeah. the motif of opening/closing/locking doors and locking the bike and things like that? AaAAaAaa

To close the gates, you need to imagine the emotions of people who once lived there - i can only imagine what Souta was thinking in the abandoned bathhouse area, but hrhggejghw the school and the amusement park and the shots we got of normal life in tokyo before the worm revealed itself in the climax, it just. really speaks to the beauty of everyday life. im a sucker for that kind of stuff as both a psychology major and just a weird person who thinks “man i wonder what happened to this person for the past 22 years of their life that led them to be here with me in this moment” whenever i pass someone in the grocery store. Hodaka could let japan be flooded in weathering with you because of his love for hina, but suzume’s whole arc was learning about the common people and living their lives and embracing all the kindness they had to offer to herself and others and it really hits that like. of course she can’t just let tokyo get destroyed to save Souta, every person in all of tokyo is just like Rumi and Chika and Serizawa and they’re all people who love and are loved. She finds herself in Souta’s place as one who stretches himself thin between being a gate closer and studying to be a teacher because he loves life as well, and-

oops i forgot i was talking about mourning and closure

anyway the doors keep getting reopened because the grief never fully goes away and the worm of “calamity” is letting yourself be consumed by the grief and destroying the people around you and not being able to move on, and it comes from the Ever-after becomes ever-after is a place where time doesn’t exist and you wish you could be there forever because it’s where you can relive the events of your past, it’s where you can live in denial that time moves forward and you have to move with it, it’s where Suzume goes after her mother dies because she wants people to stop giving her condolences and just give her her mom back. “Ever-after” in itself is a “happily ever after” - a place where mortals aren’t meant to go, no matter how beautiful it looks. Souta goes there too because he is the catalyst Suzume needs to go back and face Ever-after - and it’s no longer beautiful, but it’s torn apart by grief and everything is in flames. The idea of a keystone as well, locking the memories and hurt away, is one that Suzume removes to relive her memories and puts back in place when she’s ready to move on. htrhgfhgfghfghf. she won’t let souta be the keystone because she refuses to move on without him.

Also both Souta and his grandfather tell Suzume to just forget everything she’s seen, but it’s too late for that because connections aren’t so easily forgotten. Even when Tamaki couldn’t remember telling Suzume she’d be her new mother, that doesn’t change that she cared for her for the next 12 years anyway. Suzume visits Chika and Rumi by the end, and obviously she’s never forgotten her mother, both because her chair was still in her room by the start of the movie and because she looks like her by the end. Even though relationships change, they’re never forgotten in the movie, and I think that’s beautiful, really.

(also cool detail: 12 years ago is when the tsunami that killed suzume’s mother struck. the movie came out in 2023, and the touhoku earthquake/tsunami that inspired this film was in 2011. nice)

Reality vs Fantasy

The scenes where Suzume goes out into public again following stopping the worm from destroying Tokyo were especially poignant to me. This girl’s been going on a fantastical adventure with her talking chair and talking cat, meeting nice people and making friends, excited at the idea that she’s doing something important, but after Souta’s gone she shuts down. Her feet are bloodied, her clothes are destroyed, and people keep giving her strange looks and calling her homeless because she may have stopped the worm but even without being consumed by grief, it still isn’t pretty or picturesque. Standing out in Japanese society is discouraged, as most of us are well aware, but she’s been doing nothing but that with all the running around and talking to chairs and flying through the sky she’s been doing. Without a concrete goal in mind, without Souta as company, she’s alone in the world of adulthood and has no one to tell her what she should do, no Souta to guide her through Tokyo. And without that confidence or charm, people don’t come to her aid like they did before. It’s only once she finds her resolve to save Souta, quite literally walking in his shoes/footsteps, that the next helpful stranger (Serizawa) comes in.

She could imagine those abandoned places as alive, but the truth is that they were abandoned and will stay that way - none of them miraculously revived by the end, unless something happened in the credits that I couldn’t see through all my tears. Reality will not bring those places back, but what really matters is how we carry the memories of those places with us? I think. man maybe it’d be easier to write this post if i had actually seen the end credits

this post is really fucking long so im calling it here 😭 makoto shinkai has done it again. goddammit

#suzume no tojimari #suzume no tojimari spoilers #suzume spoilers #suzume #SCREAMSSSSSSSSS #IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS MOVIE

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campbell-rose · 8 months

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Helluva Rewrite: Blitzø

ft Loona doodles :) Alright first off sorry this took so long i got a job lol

A large part of his character is the fact that he used to be a clown, so I took a bit of two face in this design and accentuated the scarring on the left side of his face. I decided to give him the circular cheek bits to allude to the clown as well as ruffling his collar under the clothes. He’s the most complex design of the IMP so far, aside from Loona’s multiple spots, so i tried to keep the colors simple but distinct from M&M. I took the spikes and put them on his clothes – as in he puts on thorns to keep people away. I think a pink tone suits his more lusty character.

Now as for his character... I'll be honest I struggled with him for a bit. I wasn’t entirely sure where I wanted his character to go or how serious this rewrite would take the drama Viv wants to write. I adore writing deep characters, so I suppose I’m going to have to take The Office’s approach of being a comedy with moving parts. There are overarching plot lines in this version, that being Moxxie’s mafia ties coming back to haunt him, Blitzo’s past coming back to fuck him over in the form of everything about him, and Millie’s insecurities fucking her over when it counts. Maybe the series underlying theme is how running from your problems doesn’t work. Idk, because I also like the whole monster of the week type assassin gigs they do. I’ll make it work.

So now, introducing the new and improved Blitzø!

Blitzø is a mixed imp, his father being from Greed and his mother being from Lust. As such he’s a very poor mix of bad traits. He’s hypersexual (to the point of disturbing others), greedy as fuck (as he underpays Millie and Moxxie), is greatly attached to and possessive of those he likes (hence his smothering of Loona and stalking of M&M), and tends to think with his dick in most situations which get him into quite a few pickles (hehe pickle)

Alright, so personality wise he is just about the same. He shits on others, is generally an ass and not very shy about it, but one thing I want to change is his delivery. This Blitzø is much more jovial about what he’s doing, putting on an act of being very charming and playful, even when he insults people. Ex, the line in the pilot when he mentions Moxxie crushing his dreams would include a very childish pout and a chuckle after. He plays the things he says off as jokes so it gives him an air of... idk like you don’t know when he’s ever being serious.

He grew up in a circus in Greed along with his twin sister Barbie Wire (side note if Blitzo was my og creation he would have a pun/type name like Barbie does. Too tired to come up with one now, but mainly just because Barbie Wire is a much more creative name than fucking Blitzo) and his mother, who was dying day by day. His father was the ring leader and used his children as props to make money. Blitzo was a double act with Barbie Wire where they would do tricks on trained horses before Barbie started wanting to do trapeze and Blitzo was paired with Fizz instead to do acrobatics and tell jokes.

Now since we don’t know what the fuck happened in Blitzo’s past (despite being on fucking season 2) I’m going to leave this bit open ended until Viv plays her cards then rewrite it into my story.

So overall I’m not tweaking too much with Blitzo. Maybe instead of being a woobie who is like oh woe is me I suck he is just an overt asshole who sort of wants to be better but that’s too much work.

His relationship with Stolas is a can of worms and I fucking hate worms. Alright, so we’re scrapping the childhood buddies thing, and going full force into what we all were shown in the pilot – this powerful demon is banging Blitzo in exchange for the Grimoire. Now real quick, why doesn’t Blitzo use Asmodean crystals? In this I'm making it so only lust demons can bond with crystals (bonding meaning only that demon can use them) and unbound crystals can’t leave Lust. So Blitzo would have to go to Lust and buy one, which is expensive as fuck and he was too broke at the time he struck the deal with Stolas. He’s planning on ditching Stolas as soon as he has enough cash to buy a crystal for IMP to use.

So Stolas and Blitzo are both using each other, neither of them are like “omg I think he likes me”. Stolas wants sex to fuel his imp fetish and Blitzo wants the book. Blitzo has every intention of cutting this off as soon as he gets the crystal, and in his mind is only really indulging some rich brat demon. The issue comes when Blitzo finds himself actually liking Stolas – he likes the owl’s stupid spiels about literature and space and herbs, he likes that Stolas tells him helpful things with no prompting (like how certain herbs can treat injuries and things like that), and he finds himself liking Stolas’s company. Which is a big problem if he wants to cut the demon off, so he starts trying to get that in gear. This is also while being constantly reminded how unlovable he is and how he ruins everything he touches, but he’s conflicted because Stolas has started to treat him kindly and refer to him like an acquaintance rather than a sex toy.

Any I'm tired af, going to bed.

Oh, but before I go I just want to say that now that I’ve finished the IMP gang, I’m taking a minor break from reworking Helluva and will be posting some RWBY redesigns I’ve made because I fucking hate RWBY but at the same time it’s like my childhood. I’ll tag anything Rwby I'm doing as Rwby Rework if you’re interested, but don’t worry I’ll continue to do more viv/helluva/hazbin later this month!

Thanks for reading <3

#anti helluva boss #anti vivziepop #helluva boss critical #helluva boss redesign #helluva boss rewrite #helluva rewrite #vivziepop critical

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nightcourtreader · 3 months

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After my acotar re-read I am more convinced that once the series end, Lucien’s permanent residence is not in the Spring Court and it’s going to be in Day Court.

I really think he needs to get out of the SC & away from Tamlin. Lucien was always the better friend to Tamlin and Lucien needs to be somewhere where he’s truly appreciated and to me personally that doesn’t include Spring, Autumn or Night.

I hate the fact Lucien feels indebted to Tamlin because he took him in and helped him against his brothers but it was clear Lucien was deadly afraid of Tamlin and the power imbalance between the two was bad, and it became worse in acomaf when Tamlin got his full powers back. Tamlin didn’t care for Lucien’s opinion and barely, if at all, took it into consideration. Then him beating him in acosf because he’s angry at life isn’t cool. Then he also threw Lucien’s belongings out the house.

Then with both Feyre & Rhys saying how Lucien is fated to be more than what he was in spring & how Lucien’s talents were wasted in spring just makes me think once his story is told, spring is not where he’s ending up in the end and I think that’s a good thing.

I think that Tamlin and Lucien will patch up their relationship but it’s never going to be as “close” as they were before. I can see Lucien helping repair spring but even then, he stated the people there don’t like him anymore and we clearly see Tamlin doesn’t either, so it’ll be a challenge if he does decide to help. I don’t see SJM killing Tamlin despite him being down and out at the moment. I really think she’s going to have Tamlin rally back before another war comes.

We all know how Lucien is Helions son. I would love to see how he finds that out. I know a lot of people want Feyre to tell him and talk shit about her not saying anything, but that’s not Feyre’s business, and with beron being a nut at the moment, that’s going to open up a can of worms. Honestly, I think it’s LOA obligation to tell both Lucien and Helion that Lucien is his son. Not Feyre’s.

It sucks Helion doesn’t know and if he did I really could see him wanting a blood duel. Like Lucien is his literally life and blood that he’s missed out on 300+ years. I know Lucien might not want a father in his life at the moment due to beron being a pos but I just have a feeling after they get pass the emotional barrier of things, Lucien and Helion will become close and have a good relationship.

Plus knowing Lucien is the day court heir just makes sense for him to end up in day. I know that Elain is very connected to the spring court. But Elain craves sunshine and she loves to sit by the windows all the time and the day court is the sun personified. I get it spring has gardens that Elain would love but if Elain likes gardening, I think she’ll appreciate and love the gardens of spring but she would still want to create more and with spring already being filled with gardens I think she would love to build ones in day. I think her and Lucien will have a higher position in day than in spring anyway since I don’t think SJM is going to have Tamlin kick the bucket at the moment.

I’m not sure how Lucien’s future relationships with autumn will be if eris succeeds in killing Beron and putting himself on the throne, but I just don’t see them being close. Lucien wants nothing to do with Beron or Eris. No matter how Eris mentions to others that he tried to help Lucien. It’s different with them since it’s so much bad blood between them and I don’t ever really see them having a good brother relationship, I can see Lucien tolerating Eris. Eris whole focus is the autumn court and his mother anyway.

#lucien vanerra #pro lucien vanserra #helion spell cleaver #eris vanserra #acotar #elain archeron #elucien #pro elucien

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jacksprostate · 8 days

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Part 4 (with links to the other parts)

The first thing I do is, I talk to the man who takes my sheets, with his scrapdog ears and eyebrows, and I tell him: address him properly.

The word spreads on its own. I remember, before I was used to it, that knowing lilt. Sir. It’s still present. Take your pills, sir. It’ll be alright, sir. Take your time recovering.

Mills starts cursing at the staff. We pass in the halls, he yells at me, tells me to stop them. He’s not their fucking leader. Call off my dogs.

I smile, too wide. They’ve never listened to me, not really. Especially not on this.

I can’t help you.

Naturally, he hates this.

The second thing I do is, I ask for photographs. News clippings. Marla’s dildo was large, questionable, encouraging of disorder, and a choking hazard. Slips of paper are much more tolerable contraband. I’m given free rein, like one of Zimbardo’s incentivized guards. It’s a psychology experiment in a psychology experiment, and my psychiatrist is playing Jane Goodall.

It’s arts and crafts, and all the attendees are either bruised or braindead. There is no one stopping me. I glue all my collected pieces together into the rough shape of a heart, like it’s Valentine’s Day, and I turn to Mills, trapped at the back of the room. He hasn’t seen a shred of what I’m up to.

Something to remember her by, I say. I don’t call him sir, because I never have. I wonder if he knows this.

I see him look, more instinct than anything from getting layers of paper shoved in his face, and I see how he clenches his teeth so hard his jaw creaks. He rips the collage of his wife out of my hands, and I can tell, he hates me. Real hate, like he wants death to fuck my body until it’s not even for the worms.

He can’t bear to destroy it, and now I know every time he looks at it in his room, he’ll be thinking of me. Funny how that works.

The thing is; Mills actually didn’t try to kill me this time, so I think I need to take it up a notch.

I cross the cafeteria just so I can spit in his food. I piss on his door and get the space monkey janitors to leave it for fifty-seven hours. In group therapy, I take a page from Chloe and monologue about how the last thing I’d like to do is get my rocks off chemically unhindered before the seizure medications they’ve got me on arrest all of my brain activity altogether. A nice nugget for Mills to report back to Somerset about my proposed psychosexual obsession. I segue into discussing how I met Tyler, on the nude beach, grit all across him as he hauled pilings and sat with his bare ass in the sand. It’s the most I’ve ever said about Tyler. The group minder scribbles on her sheet like mad as I describe Tyler’s wet, blond hair. His minute of perfection.

And he still doesn’t try to fight me. I know he wants to. He wants to shake me by my throat and rattle me and slam my head into the ground until it splits open like a rotten egg. But he doesn’t, and he looks torn. Like he’s guilty. Like Tyler could ever really feel guilt.

This is one of the things I want to complain about when Marla calls me.

She still does. More than when she was alive. But she says nothing, and I can’t break the silence. I sit there, orderlies watching as I say nothing, she says nothing, just a whole bunch of dead air between us.

Ghosts were always calling for Marla, at Paper Street.

Now I’ve got Marla’s ghost on the line and Tyler’s ghost in the flesh, and neither want to talk to me.

We get locked up in supervised one-on-one again, now with both of us chained and one twitch away from a new addiction.

I ask Mills, did you talk to her enough, that last week?

Do you think she knew you loved her?

Do you think she felt loved?

Mills asks for the sedation, this time. Polite about it, like he’s not seething. Like I can’t see how his eyes have been only half empty most of these days, since I’ve managed to fill him up with rage at me. Folie à deux, I want it so bad.

I am Jack’s crippling sense of rejection.

My stupid psychiatrist, he lets Mills amble out of the room and traps me in there.

I’m corralled. An angel on either shoulder. All the staff who aren’t from the Project have stopped laughing at my jokes. My antics have not gone unobserved. I’ve been given my time to rein as the world’s most entertaining lab rat, and now this localized god wants results.

“What’s your goal here?”

Isn’t it obvious?

“No. Tell me about what you’re thinking,” he says. I look at him, and I see him, for the first time. Not disillusioned, not holy. Just a sniveling doctor with a penchant for human experimentation and the funding to enable him.

How horribly average.

He says, “I understand this is difficult for you, but we really need to know what’s going on if you want to have continued support in this manner for your recovery.” Play nice, or you’ll lose your favorite toy.

I say, this has never been about recovery. It’s time we faced that, isn’t it?

This man, so used to my religious apathy, has never truly had a challenge. He looks pinched.

He says, “Of course I want you to recover.”

And I laugh, and I point out that we both know those outside these halls are more interested in what’s wrong with me than any semblance of fixing it.

You’re not getting paid to drain the swamp in my head. You’re here to keep it plugged up, decomposing. We both know this, I’m just acknowledging it. I laugh.

I tell this little god, he can write me up in all his little acclaimed journals.

But don’t come to me, saying I have to play your little games or you’ll take Mills away. We both know you won’t. The day I give up, the day I become a real vegetable is the day your cash cow keels over. You’re not going to punish me. Not really. You’ll take away my jello, my oats, you’ll put me on lithium and clozapine and valproic acid, but you don’t really want this to end. You don’t want me to get better. You want Tyler back just as much as I do. You can’t do shit to me. I have nothing to lose.

You have everything.

Tyler’s words, back home in my mouth. They’re mine now. I get up and the orderlies flanking me do nothing. I look down on this small, small man, and I think, he has never known a bigger fish. He doesn’t even know the hands that feed him.

I’ve hit bottom, I say, and it’s not you who holds the shovel. Be grateful I let you observe.

#fight club #my writing #se7 #se7en (1995)#se7en #back on my bullshit !#theres a turn after this. i feel like this fic getting posted in breaks of several weeks is not ideal oops #ill probably go through and try to clean it up when i post it on ao3. but we are still a ways away. getting pretty long. whew #still have several major scenes....

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mando-abs · 3 months

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I just need y’all to know that I met Din Djarin at Disney World over a week ago.

Y’all

I was not prepared for how polite and sweet he was. Like, y’all don’t undertsand. I’m STILL thinking about that. Do NOT fall for his tough guy persona he puts up for his job. That man is without a doubt all soft under that armor.

I’ll put my experience under the cut but I do want to say many thanks to the wonderful friend of Din Djarin that greeted me that day. Cast members rock and he was no exception.

The Technical Stuff:

Okay, so beforehand, I searched online when was the best to see him and how since Din doesn’t have a set meet and greet in the parks. Din and Grogu typically come out of a literal hole in the wall on the far end of the marketplace (coming in the marketplace from the First Order side of the land) and they make their way through the market. Also, since this is a different meet and greet, how to approach them is different than usual meets. Din chooses who to interact with, and it’s never a guarantee if you will get picked. The best chance of getting picked??? Get there early. On the day I visited, I checked the My Disney Experience App to see they made appearances on the hour from official opening (so like 8:30 AM) until 3:00 PM. (And Disney is always punctual so you can guarantee that)

If you read all of that and were thinking “this is way too tedious to see one of the most popular characters” you would be correct. But I don’t make the rules, and I was very desperate to meet him.

Before Meeting The Mandalorian:

At about 10 minutes before he was scheduled to arrive, I was met by a lovely young lady who was already waiting for her man (I know I fellow Din lover when I see one). She confirmed the information I mentioned above because my family just didn’t believe me when I said I knew what I was doing. Because of this, I sat just behind her in hopes that she got picked first because she called first dibs lol.

After 10 minutes, Din came strutting out with Grogu in sling and handlers in tow. At this point, I was loosing hold of my facial expressions. I’m pretty sure I looked like

I don’t think I’d been that excited to meet a character at Disney since Aurora and Mulan when I was a little girl.

The handlers made sure there was enough space for Din and Grogu as suddenly, in the short span of time it took for Din to walk up, there was a small crowd forming and people calling over that the Mandalorian had arrived. The lady who arrived before me was called up first and she had her moment with Din and Grogu. Very happy for her. And then there was another before me. And then it was my turn :0)

The Actual Meet:

When I stood beside Din Djarin he immediately commented on my Mandalorian shirt (yes I wore a Din focus shirt in hopes I’d get picked, don’t look at me). He motioned to my shirt and said (all of this is approximate btw) “Your allegiance is appreciated.” And I want to say he shook my hand? He was shaking a lot of hands. Like I said, he was polite! Anyways I was like, “Of course!” And then I went into a short spiel about how his and Grogu’s stories have traveled across the stars and how much they meant to me (super cheesy I know, but let me have my moment). But y’all. His response??? The softest, “Thanks☺️”

I almost died. Melted on the spot. And his body language was kinda like “aw shucks ☺️☺️☺️” (as close as a mandalorian can get to that). The worms in my brain will hold onto that one for a while.

Finally we took a picture, and when all was said and done, he turned to me, nodded, and said the ever famous line, “This is the way.”

Grogu:

Grogu was not in the picture during this interaction. 😂😂😂 I’m ashamed to say that I totally forgot about him. He was very quiet!!! And he was on the other side and I wasn’t about to stare past a man’s hip. I like to think he was in his own little baby world during the whole meet.

#disney world #hollywood studios #din djarin #the mandalorian #Star Wars #the worms have been fed #but they demand more #you cant see my face #but I was smiling so much

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orangeocelotmartyn · 5 days

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Treebark Week — Sweet

part one (Build/Divine) | part two (Frost) | part three (you are here) | part four (Hair/Picnic)

Once Martyn had throughly defrosted (as much as one could, being that the fix was a twenty stone wolf, along with some hopes and dreams) Ren got up and shifted back to his default form to fuss at Martyn for other reasons, such as,

“When was the last time you ate? You’re all skin and bones, dude, could make a man cry!”

Martyn sat up, grimacing a bit at the puddle he found himself in. That didn’t stop him from running his mouth, though, “you gonna fatten me up to have me for dinner? Didn’t take you for that kinda wolf.”

Ren snapped his teeth at him, mock leering. “Dunno, baby, I’m afraid right now if I tried you’d barely be a snack.”

Martyn puffed himself up, offended, “excuse you, I’m not just a snack, I’m a whole damn meal, thank you very much—“

There was the sound of a door creak, and False, who was attempting to sneak out at this point, winced as the sound alerted both of them to her movements. Ren looked crestfallen. “You’re leaving? Before dinner?”

False cleared her throat. “It seemed you two had it handled, and besides, there are other people visiting, you know. I thought I, er, ought to go say hello to them. As well.”

The look on Ren’s face could only be described as ‘the biggest case of puppy dog eyes’ that Martyn had ever seen, and damn if it didn’t make something in his stomach writhe—and it probably wasn’t for lack of food.

“We can all go back,” he offered, anything to get between the staring contest of False and Ren. “I think Timmy might’ve come through already, don’t want him wandering without a proper chaperone.”

At that point Martyn’s stomach unfortunately decided it was the time to protest—Ren had offered food, and it would be damned if that promise was forgotten, thanks, but it made Ren look at him again, at least.

“Let’s at least get you a snack to munch on, dude, you’re probably starving from the thaw you had to do there.” Ren paused to rummage in his inventory for a moment, as False kept nudging the door open, and procured a pumpkin pie, offering to Martyn triumphantly, his tail wagging behind him.

“Grandma’s secret recipe, eat up!”

The fact that Ren offered it so eagerly, giving Martyn a hopeful look over his glasses, would’ve made him eat anything Ren offered—and so he took it, before sweeping into a bow.

“Thank you, milord,” he said, trying to come off as pompous as possible, just to make Ren laugh. “Lead the way, my liege, Lady False—let’s go find the others, before someone gets hurt.”

Martyn didn’t have an elytra, so they had to walk back to the welcoming party, but he didn’t mind—even as Ren and False began bickering about…a worm? Or something to that effect. He let it wash over himself, trying to stave off the jealousy with the pie that Ren almost certainly didn’t make with him in mind, but he could pretend that the sweet and almost spicy flavor of the still-warm dessert was imbued with the feelings they had for each other.

#Treebark #treebarkweek2024 #trafficshipping #fic #inthelittlewood #rendog

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weirdmorefics · 2 years

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Can you write a fluff Benedict Bridgerton request where Lady Whistledown decides to publish a lie that the reader (a close Bridgerton family friend) is engaged in order to get Benedict to admit the feelings he’s harbored since their teens for her despite his family’s meddling?

Lady Whistledown Knows Best

Warnings- If you have mommy issues this will make you sad because your mom comforts you in this... so good luck with that lol.

Pronouns- They/Them

Word Count- 911

Summary- Lady Whistledown publishes a not so true congratulations to a not engaged reader that sends the ton into a frenzy.

Dearest Readers,

It seems we have a rather special announcement. We have our first engagement of the season, and that honor goes to our very own Y/N L/N. It truly is a shock who is this mysterious suitor that came out of the woodwork so fast? And here I was thinking Benedict was destined to be with his childhood friend forever. However, you know what they say the early bird truly does get the worm. I wish the rest of you an eventful season and hope you do not end up like our poor Benedict.

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown

I was in utter shock over Lady Whistledown’s paper why would she publish such outlandish lies. Has she always been spreading lies and we just believe them. I feel like I can’t breathe she just ruined my chances of ever finding a suitor. Where did she even get these ideas especially thinking Benedict would ever choose me. We have been bickering constantly since we were children.

I was interrupted from my internal panicking by rapid knocks on my door.

I hear my mother's voice filled with joy “Y/N why did you not tell me you were betrothed. I can not believe you were the first of the season! I am so proud!”

I quickly rip open the door to see my mother’s eyes filling with tears of joy.

Shaking with anxiety I swallow hard to try not to vomit “Mother I do not know where Lady Whistledown got these outlandish ideas but none of them are true! She has ruined my chances of ever being married now I will be unbetrothed forever!”

My Mother frowns and pulls me into a tight hug “It is okay my dear we will prove these accusations to be falsed and you will continue with the season like nothing happened.” My mama has always had a way at calming me down and pets my head like she did when I was a child. “I am sure the Bridgertons are upset as well I can not believe Lady Whistledown would air his love for you out to the world.”

“Mother what on earth are you talking about Benedict and I have disagreed on everything since we were children. I can’t imagine him wanting to be with someone who fights with him his whole life.” I let out a fake laugh trying to not let my disappointment show.

My Mother laughs, “Darling you fight like an old married couple that’s the difference. Why don’t we go visit the Bridgertons I am sure you and Benedict need to talk and I’d love to talk to Violet about the whole situation.”

“I guess that would be fine... but just so I can prove everyone wrong and show that he does not harbor feelings towards me.” I say pointing my finger at her and furrowing my eyebrows.

She laughs and shakes her head “Can you please ask them to prepare the carriage well I get ready.

I nod fustrated that she is amused with this whole situation. I quickly turn to the door and storm off to open it so I could go to the servants entrance. I am however greeted to surprise when I swing open the door Benedict is standing right there holding his hand up preparing to knock. Benedict gasps in shock at me swinging the door open with his hand still in up in the air.

“Um.. Hello Benedict. I’m.. so sorry about what Lady Whistledown said about you.” I step to the side, “Uh... would like to come in so you don’t have to hold your hand in the air forever?”

“Oh! Right of course.” Benedict says way more nervous than usual. He quickly puts his hand down and wipes them on his pants.

“I.. wasn’t expecting company. Let me go prepare some tea.” I go to turn away from Benedict but he quickly grabs my arm and pulls me back.

“Who are you betrothed to! Because I am sure I told everyone in the ton that I was planning to court you!” Benedict rushes out.

I blink a couple of times trying to process what Benedict just said. I surely must of heard him wrong so I respond, “excuse me?”

“Who are you betrothed to?” He asks slower this time.

“No one Lady Whistledown has no idea what she is talking about!” I gasp out.

“Oh..” Benedict says a little embarrassed. “I wish I had confessed my feelings more like a gentlemen then.” He mutters and fidgets with his hands.

I smile which slowly turns into laughs and Benedict starts to turn red.

“I am sorry my feelings are amusing to you Y/N I will just leave then,” he grunts out upset.

I quickly grab his arm, “That is not what I meant at all! It’s just we knew each other our whole lives with us to embarrassed to tell each other how we feel and all we needed was for some anonymous person to make you jealous.”

Benedict smiles, “So you return my feelings as well?”

I nod and blush well Benedict has the widest smile “I bet it was Eloise who wrote it she always hears me whine about you and has been pushing me to tell you forever.” Benedict laughs.

“Well your sister does know what is best,” I smile.

“Ugh, don’t say that she already has a big head. Let’s just say Lady Whistledown knows best.” He groans out.

“I like that”

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#benedict bridgerton #benedict x reader #benedict x you #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict x y/n #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton x y/n #Bridgerton #Bridgertons #bridgerton family #bridgerton fandom #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton fluff #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x you #bridgerton x y/n

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fabuloustrash05 · 11 months

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Yesterday I just realized something- I might have a hard time explaining this but- do ya'll ever think about Sal and Mona and what could have happened to them if the turtles didn't go back to the past in s4? The stuff we saw happen in the space arc was all apart of the past. It didn't happen in the present day or something. Meaning that 6 months before the events of season 3's finale, there was the salamander and tricerations fight and you get it. However, then you remember war in dimension X. Mona and Sal were trapped and held in a cell. Now this has got me wondering. What happened originally to them afterwords? Did they possibly get experimented on? Did they die? Did they save themselves and escape? What would have happened if the Raph and Mikey weren't there to save them? I just realized that something different could have possibly happened to Sal and Mona. And if they genuinely maybe died originally, then that would be pretty dark and disturbing. But something interesting to think about honestly. Idk if anybody understood this or nah

You just opened up a whole can of worms so get ready….

I have a very old TMNT 2012 theory that Mona Lisa was supposed to die in that war between the Triceratons that the Turtles interrupted by crashing their two ships.

The reason I say the theory with only Mona and not her and Sal is because every time we see Mona in an episode, she nearly dies and then Raph (or sometimes someone else) saves her.

The Moons of Thalos 3 — Almost killed by ice dragons and later almost dies from lack of oxygen and heat

War for Dimension X — Almost falls to her death (but again DX’s logic of gravity makes 0 sense)

The Evil of Dregg — Scorpinoid sting

When Worlds Collide is the only one where Mona doesn’t have a near death experience (to my memory)

I forget the name of what this term is called but it’s basically like in the game Life is Strange (spoilers) where the main characters friend Chloe throughout the game keeps ending up in near death experiences that you have to save her from, to which you end up finding out at the end that the universe needs her dead because the universe knows she was originally supposed to die in the beginning of the game.

Now, playing with the “Mona was supposed to die” theory, I got a story idea I don’t think I ever shared. Renet comes by to visits the Turtles and is shocked to see Mona among them. She freaks out, asking why she’s here and alive. Everyone is confused, including Mona and Raph, and Renet reveals the truth, Mona was not supposed to live and her and Raph were never supposed to happened, but because Raph kept saving her (preventing her death) history is at risk.

I feel the whole story would be Renet being forced to do her job (she doesn’t want to but she has to) and have Mona killed so history can be back on track and there can be balance, but Raph is doing every thing he can to protect Mona and the history he made with her.

#if I had a nickel for every TMNT story I have that involves Renet being the villain I’d have two nickels #which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice #my-name-is-bunnyfoxy #asks #answered #tmnt theories #my theories #tmnt 2012 #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt raphael #tmnt mona lisa #renet tilley #sal commander

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jaybirdh · 10 months

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Okay, so I have spent the better part of a year trying to write a Jayroy fic that I thought would honestly take only a couple of months. I was inspired by this other fic, and had gotten full permission, and I wrote loads for it, but nothing ever quite worked out.

What happened was I read That issue of Red Hood & the Outlaws.

I pretty much ignore the whole penguin beatdown thing (I also ignore the titan’s tower attack, but that’s another matter), I always want Bruce to be a good father and I have tended to write him that way.

Same with Oliver Queen.

However, I thought, within the continuity, it was very stupid and unfair that this incident never gets mentioned again and Bruce never encounters any repercussions whatsoever (all this assuming you want to believe that the “fight” was at all canon, which I don’t really), and I wanted catharsis. Sort of.

I wanted a reason for the main premise of the story to happen, and that seemed like the perfect opening for that, in addition to wanting to see some comeuppance.

That was the main downfall for this story. I got way too invested in the toxic familial relationships the New 52 spat out, and it kept going into all the wrong directions. I ended up disliking all but individual bits of it. It was too nasty for me to handle.

Add to that that I couldn’t seem to get a single characterisation right, and in spite of the great inspiration, the story had almost no plot, and I couldn’t figure out how to worm one in.

So I’m scrapping that effort, and starting completely from new.

The thing is, there was one bit I did really like, from Roy’s perspective, and I don’t want it to be completely lost, although I know it wouldn’t have anywhere to go in my new attempt.

It will probably showcase all the flaws I described, and may not be written terribly well, but I still liked the voice (even if it isn’t necessarily in character), and I liked some of the points I made about what I know of how they handled Sanctuary, so I’m putting it out here.

Content warnings will be tagged. If anyone thinks they can expand on this or do it better, feel free. Just remember to credit me or even piggy back on this post. If someone does write more to this, I would like to read it.

Writing under the cut.

Therapy sucks.

That was Roy’s professional opinion as a Therapizee. And his opinion about it mattered, damn it! Customer satisfaction, and all that.

It didn’t help that all his therapizers were robots or holograms.

In a way, it made it worse.

The robots could pretend to care all they wanted, but you always knew they didn’t.

And they were always recording. Roy was sure that was some sort of violation.

But seriously, you might as well be talking to a metal wall for all the good that did (a certain saying about first signs came to mind).

Add to that the fucking holograms.

They were meant to represent the people you had issues with, or who you cared about, giving messages of support and all that sappy stuff.

Roy guessed it was supposed to be cathartic, or some shit, but really it was just frustrating, bordering on maddening.

If he weren’t already in rehab for capes interacting with the stupid fuckers would have certainly put him there.

Really, there was nothing worse about yelling about a problem you had about your adoptive father to his face, then hear him say something you know he’d never actually say to you.

All it seemed to do was increase the issue exponentially, drive you crazy with the knowledge that you might be working through your problems, but the people the holograms were pretending to be sure as hell weren’t.

Roy found himself moving just as roboticslly through his day as his so-called therapists. Sleeping badly, missing his Jaybird, and finding he didn’t have much of an appetite for anything anymore.

He supposed the one good thing about it was that he was so numb he didn’t even feel the need for drugs or booze anymore.

Just…nothingness, really.

And missing Jason, obviously, but there wasn’t much he could do about that. His boyfriend was off being a hero, no thanks to Batman (may he lose the use of his stupid fortune and die alone in a ditch), and Roy had made a commitment.

He’d stick it out for his two months, and if it got better, great! If not? It’s only two months, and then he could go back to out-law-ing with Jason, no problem.

He’d never felt the loneliness, the sadness, that drove him to addiction when he was with Jaybird.

And yes, he knew being dependant on someone else for recovery was a Bad Thing, but it wasn’t that at all.

What he’d realised, almost the first day in this purgatory, was that he’d kept himself sober with Jason, so that he could be the best he could be for Jason.

Jason, who’d always told him—always showed him that he was worth more than Oliver or anyone else had ever treated him.

Jason, who’d always made sure he was okay, made sure he was managing, made sure he knew that Roy as a person was worth more than being wrecked by heroin and alcohol.

And Roy had believed it. Roy could believe anything Jason said about it, even when the other wasn’t there, because Jason was the one who said it. He’d believed it, even through that little…hiccup.

And when they had started working together, when it became apparent that this wasn’t a one-off, Jason had been scared. Scared of hurting Roy, but also scared of being hurt by Roy.

Roy had understood that, resoected that, and gone forward with all due caution, like when you approach a wild animal.

And then came Batman’s beatdown of the Red Hood, and it was only pure luck that he was in the area to save him, god knows the other bats probably hadn’t even noticed.

And that had been horrible, absolutely terrifying.

He had almost lost Jason.

They might never have had the chance to see what they could become, together.

But he survived, and they had their chance.

Unfortunately, Roy was the one with the issues this time.

He and Jason had finally (finally!) made real progress in their relationship, but this time it was Roy who was scared.

He’d gotten low again, the Titans had broken up again (after a rather disastrous attempt at getting together again), and every time he’d tried to talk it out with Ollie something else—not even something more important all of the time—always came up, and he’d left Roy hanging.

So he’d had a bit of a relapse, nothing major, just, y’know, way too many drinks at a bar, no biggie.

But he knew that tended to lead to something more.

That had scared him, badly.

Scared enough that even when he’d been feeling much better, even when he and Jason had come together againm even closer than before, he had gone to rehab.

He shouldn’t have. He should have remembered that recovery wasn’t linear. He’d had a dip, sure, but after, he knew he would have had a rise, he’d have just had to have waited.

But he hadn’t ever wanted Jason to see him that way.

He’d been told everything about Jason’s background by the man himself in an intimate moment, and he never wanted Jason to have to suffer through anything like that again.

So he’d left.

And so, he’d died.

Yeah, therapy sucked.

#Tw drug use #tw depression #unreliable narrator #dc #jason todd #roy harper #oliver queen #bruce wayne #red hood and the outlaws #Violence #Violence only mentioned #Jayroy #Royjay #Bad therapy practices #Swearing #Dependance #Inaccurate depiction of addiction #Probably

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markantonys · 2 years

Text

towers of midnight prologue-chapter 16

the opening quote is from loial’s book about rand!!!! which must therefore get finished and published!! i feel like a proud mother!!!

graendal DID escape! you can’t keep a girlboss down. i suspected she might have because it seemed too anticlimactic an end and No Body No Death (honestly i kept suspecting sammael wasn’t really gonna be dead since iirc rand balefired him from somewhat of a distance and didn’t really see him go down, but then i think moridin confirmed that sammael was balefired and is beyond resurrection), but i wasn’t sure how it could’ve been possible - turned out that it was actually aran’gar and delana who did the compulsion on the guy rand sent in and they were balefired, thus undoing the compulsion.

i love how everyone keeps saying “we must march for the last battle” and then they just set right out for it. like, where are you going? nobody sent out invites for the date, time, and place of the last battle. are y’all just gonna show up at shayol ghul and hope for the best?

we catch up with galad, who’s leading 7,000 whitecloaks through a swamp. “i refuse to feel [the swamp’s] bite, for i am proud.” proud of being a fuckin whitecloak?

“valda’s misdeeds had tarnished the entire order.” you mean more than they’d already tarnished themselves by being a whole organization dedicated to persecuting channelers?

“doing what was right was the most important thing in life.” then why are you a fuckin whitecloak?

“the children have met...hostility [in andor].” as they should!

“light send that elayne held the lion throne.” she does and she will kick you and your friends’ asses for being fuckin whitecloaks. good luck getting sanctuary from her!

okay it’s out of my system now. (update from rereading this after having finished writing the whole post: [narrator voice] it was not out of her system.) i do like galad but i think that he deserves 100x more bullying than gawyn does and yet he gets 100x less, so i have to even it out!

but for some equal opportunity bullying: “light send that [elayne] had escaped the tangles of the aes sedai, though he feared the worst.” trakand brothers realize that elayne is an intelligent adult capable of making her own decisions challenge.

“there were many who would use her as a pawn, al’thor not the least of them.” hey! show your double brother (half-brother and brother-in-law) some respect! ��she was headstrong and that could make her easy to manipulate.” as opposed to you, galad, the absolute pinnacle of wisdom and worldliness. i’m certain nobody has ever found YOU easy to manipulate!

“to abandon the children now, after killing their leader, would be wrong.” actually it would be right because then they would be in chaos and could be wiped out! “it’s as simple as that to you, isn’t it?” “it should be as simple as that to anyone.” well SOMETIMES i like galad, other times he is too holier-than-thou for my tastes. lawful good characters don’t tend to be my cup of tea. or lawful anything characters. i love my neutrals and chaotics.

in conclusion, i’m here to report Yet Again that everything about galad’s whitecloak storyline hits VERY different for a show-first person, and i’m wondering how the show could ever make the audience not despise him for the rest of the show’s run after he joins them lmao that’ll be interesting to see. like, i can only retain respect and affection for book!galad by separating the book!whitecloaks (largely nonthreatening buffoons with a hidden evil sector that galad didn’t find out about until much later) from the show!whitecloaks - who might be set up in that same way where galad and the average whitecloak is unaware of valda and co’s crimes, but since the audience was introduced to valda and co first and not “regular” whitecloaks, that’ll be a hard sell.

fain pov talks about Worms. what the fuck are these Worms. i don’t want to know but i will surely find out soon.

i almost forgot that fain got the dagger from the tower and still has it. so maybe mat’s dagger plotline does indeed have more left to come! i kinda wish it was already wrapped up tho, mat has too much on his plate (despite having spent several books dicking around on a circus roadtrip). rj planning the books was like “rand gets the chosen one storyline and all it entails, mat gets the dagger and the horn of valere and luck and ancient memories and military strategy skills and a whole army and the aelfinn & eelfinn and the seanchan and a prophecy hero/villain romance, perrin gets uhhhh [shuffles through notes to see what’s left] wolves i guess” lmao i would love it if the show took the same approach as @butterflydm’s fic series and gave the horn to perrin (since it seems he’ll be on the hunt for the horn in s2 and mat won’t) because mat has way too many Things going on and should offload some to perrin who doesn’t have enough! but idk how likely that is since i think the average book fan would riot if show!mat didn’t get to blow the horn (which, okay i’m sure it’ll be relevant again at the last battle and maybe i’ll eat my words then, but so far it’s been such a tiny part of mat’s storyline that i don’t understand why people are so attached to it)

me: ugh i don’t care about this random farmer me finding out that this random farmer was the guy who gave rand and mat a ride on his cart during the Great Cauthor Roadtrip:

as seen here and with hurin’s reappearance last book, all you have to do to get an emotional reaction out of me is to connect something to The Good Old Days!

rand’s giving some real jesus vibes in this scene. just wandering up out of nowhere dressed in ragged clothes, causing miracles, dropping some cryptic yet comforting words of wisdom for the times ahead, making those who see him feel oddly safe and at peace.

but god rand is so funny here. the farmer’s like hey did you get lost in the mountains and rand says, “no. i’m not lost. finally. it feels like a great long time since i’ve understood the path before me.” and then the farmer says that if rand was hoping to hunt then he went the wrong way because there’s nothing back there of use and rand says, “i wouldn’t say that. there are always things of use around, if you look closely enough. you can’t stare at them too long. to learn but not be overwhelmed, that is the balance.” like bro jdkjfgh you need some refresher lessons in how to interact with normal people in a normal way. he went from darth rand straight to jesus rand and did not stop on any middle ground.

“you’re him, aren’t you? the one they’re talking about?” “it is likely. men are often speaking of me.” because men are obsessed with him and want to fuck him and he knows it.

“meeting those eyes, almen felt a strange sense of peace.” just the opposite of how everybody felt meeting rand’s eyes pre-epiphany!

galad wakes up imprisoned in asunawa’s camp and discovers that - offscreen - asunawa & co have been murdered by whitecloaks loyal to galad and he is now officially lord captain commander. too easy a victory but the last battle is coming so things have gotta move along.

“galad didn’t feel wise or strong enough to bear the title he did.” as if lord captain commander of the whitecloaks is a title that deserves any respect whatsoever. “but the children had made their decision. the light would protect them for it.” no actually i hope the light DOESN’T protect them.

i continue to be frustrated that galad’s “joining an organization whose entire ideology is based around considering people like his mother and sister darkfriends who must be eradicated” plotline resolved in “galad leading that organization and handily removing the few corrupt guys whereas the rest are good actually” instead of “galad realizes the entire organization is fucked up and destroys it from the inside” but whatever

i WILL say that later on perrin notes that all the “good” whitecloaks do smell rabid/crazy/whatever and galad is The Only One who smells normal, so maaaaaaaaybe there is still hope for galad to finally wake up the rest of the way and destroy the organization for good? but i won’t hold my breath.

“[egwene] stepped into her dream, and into [gawyn’s] embrace. they stood in a small stone-walled room shaped like her study in the tower, yet decorated like the common room of her father’s inn. gawyn was dressed in sturdy two rivers woolens and did not wear his sword. a more simple life. it could not be hers, but she could dream...” 😭 egwene has always been the most ready, nay EAGER, of the ef5 to accept her duty and leave dreams of a simple life behind, so it really Gets me when she feels wistful for that simple life!

egwene has a prophetic dream that tells her that something terrible could happen if she doesn’t find mesaana and stop her. i could’ve told you that without a prophetic dream jdfkg

saerin has a scar on her face whose origins she’s never been willing to explain. mesaana???

RAND IS AT THE TOWER TO SEE EGWENE!!!!!! REUNION TIME!!!!

apparently siuan has the Talent of seeing ta’veren? did we know that already? then why didn’t she make moiraine become amyrlin and go dragon reborn hunting herself if she can see ta’veren so easily?

upon finding out siuan bonded bryne as a warder, rand’s only response is “elayne will be interested to hear of that.” ❤️❤️

rand asks what kind of amyrlin egwene is: “‘she’s an incredible one,’ siuan said. ‘one of the greatest we’ve had, for all the fact that she’s only held the seat a short time.’ he smiled again. ‘i should have expected nothing less.’” ❤️❤️❤️

rand gets a mysterious sealed letter from an aes sedai named tiana. oh my god i bet it’s another one of the mysterious For Reeling In Ta’veren letters from verin like the one she gave mat!!! i can only conclude that rand’s instructions from verin will be “marry mat” just as mat’s will be “marry rand”

“‘rand,’ egwene said, softening her tone. ‘i’m going to have some sisters talk to you to determine if there is anything...wrong with you. please try to understand.’” egwene talks to rand for 10 seconds and immediately realizes he needs to see a mental health professional jkfg god bless her

“there didn’t seem to be madness in his eyes. she knew those eyes. she knew rand. light, she thought. i’m wrong. i can’t think of him only as the dragon reborn. i’m here for a reason. he’s here for a reason. to me, he must be rand. because rand can be trusted, while the dragon reborn must be feared.” ❤️❤️❤️

“she looked at him and remembered the youth that he had been. the earnest young man. not solemn like perrin, but not wild like mat. solid, straightforward. the type of man you could trust with anything. even the fate of the world.” ❤️❤️❤️

overall, the reunion was far more positive than i had feared! egwene’s recent empathy for and understanding of rand has carried through to seeing him again in person, and Jesus Rand was very calm and respectful of egwene’s authority and of being in her center of power. the only snag was that rand told her he’s going to break the seals and needs her help, and egwene understandably thinks that’s a horrible idea (especially since rand was just like “we’re gonna break the seals and replace them, but i have no idea how to do this. figure it out by next month. bye!” lmao no wonder egwene is skeptical). could be setting up for a larger clash later. but i’m excited at the prospect of male and female channelers fiiiiinally working together!! the dragon reborn and the amyrlin seat!! my foils and co-protagonists!! and oooh egwene knows how to make cuendillar so maybe she can make new seals for the prison when they clear away the old ones!

“‘[rand] might be persuaded [against breaking the seals] by people that he trusts.’ or he might be forced to change his mind if confronted by a large enough group united to stop him. it was now more vital that she speak with elayne and nynaeve.” bold of you to assume that the narrative will ever grant elayne 5 minutes to talk to rand, egwene 😔

“‘but the witches are evil!’ ‘perhaps,’ galad said. once, he might have denied that. but listening to the other Children, and considering what those at tar valon had done to his sister, was making him think he might be too soft on the aes sedai.” forget what i said about liking galad, he sucks actually. he had his day in the sun when he killed valda and then immediately squandered my affections.

“the questioners are at fault.” “part of the blame is theirs. but it is also because those who would do evil look with disgust and resentment upon those who stand for what is right.” oh, there i was thinking galad was about to admit that the non-questioner whitecloaks also share blame, but no, of course, it is the fault of evildoers who resent them for being so pure and good! once again, coming from my show-first impression of whitecloaks, it’s just sickening to read a “good” guy saying this shit about them and believing it wholeheartedly.

and he has THE NERVE to cite helpful lessons from morgase when he knows full well that the whitecloaks see her as a darkfriend!!!

“we follow no queen or king.” “yes, and that frightens monarchs. i grew up in the court of andor. i know how my mother regarded the Children.” i think. maybe. just a hypothesis. but MAYBE morgase hated the whitecloaks because they are dedicated to persecuting women like her and her daughter, not just because they don’t report to any monarch. JUST a THOUGHT here, galad.

“my mother was no darkfriend.” “excepting her, of course.” of course galad is not prejudiced against channelers! his mom is a channeler and he likes her, thank you very much! it’s just all the other ones who are darkfriends!

“and yet there was such a thing as being too zealous.” galad saying that about someone else, bitch look in a mirror!

can’t believe GAWYN is the hated trakand boy. his only crime is being kinda dumb! at least he never joined a religious extremist group and grew to genuinely believe all their bullshit! at least he only thinks aes sedai are annoying and untrustworthy, not straight up evil! fuck galad all my homies hate galad. i hope elayne and morgase beat his ass if/when they see him again.

thankfully, we now return to the superior trakand boy. he is investigating a string of murders in the white tower which egwene later reveals are most likely mesaana’s work. gawyn describes a man as handsome without adding “to women” to qualify it #BiGawynRights

the handsome man is the captain of the tower guard who seems hostile to gawyn in a way gawyn doesn’t understand, but then he figures out that the guy feels threatened that gawyn’s gunning for his job and so gawyn takes a moment to let him know, in a subtle way that won’t reveal gawyn’s noticed he’s insecure or anything, that all he wants is to be egwene’s warder. respectful king!

“gawyn forced himself to keep his temper. once, that hadn’t been nearly so hard.” rand parallels!

speaking of rand, “in his heart, gawyn wanted to meet al’thor with sword in hand and ram steel through him, dragon reborn or not.” [michael scott voice] that’s what she said. “al’thor would rip you apart with the one power, he told himself. you’re being foolish, gawyn trakand. his hatred of al’thor continued to smolder anyway.” smoooooolder. i want you all to know that gawyn is smoooooldering and unable to think straight on account of rand. gawyn wants his Homoerotic Duel with rand so bad and yet if/when they actually meet rand’s just gonna be like “aw hello brother-in-law!” and not care at all. funniest dynamic in the world.

i suppose i can see why people think the gawyn romance is a waste of egwene’s time and only hinders the Hot Girl Shit she’s trying to accomplish, but i for one enjoy it and find it very interesting! i like seeing a different side to our resident Career Woman, seeing how she struggles to balance her personal and professional lives. heart vs. duty is a theme i’m all about! i agree that not every character and particularly not every female character needs a love interest, but i also hate the modern-day fandom narrative (not necessarily WOT fandom, but in general) that Strong Female Characters™ are made less by having love interests. and like, it is so clearly gawyn who is egwene’s love interest and not the reverse jkfjg so that’s excellent. and also, after seeing how SOME characters in this series just roll over for their love interest and become an entirely different person to please them (sideeyes min and mat), it’s refreshing to see egwene and gawyn both refusing to compromise on who they are and what they want, even if it would make getting into a relationship with the other person easier. so much of this is exactly what we could and should have gotten with rand and elayne, with all their political clashes and sometimes-conflicting duties and burdens of leadership and issues of wearing one face in private and another in public (“the amyrlin cannot be served by those who refuse to see her authority” “but isn’t it important to have people who know you for yourself and not the title?”), so i’m glad to get it here since i was deprived of it for randlayne.

graendal is now hiding out in a dank cave. “everyone knew that graendal could not stand a lack of luxury. that was true. but the best part about being predictable was that it allowed you to do the unexpected.” once again i am saying that graendal is the stealth most competent and dangerous forsaken (except for moridin i guess). female characters who make everyone think they’re just dumb bimbos but are secretly incredibly cunning are my kryptonite! unfortunate for rand that he didn’t actually kill her, but story-wise i’m glad a bad bitch didn’t go down so easily and anticlimactically!

graendal talking about the Pain Of Soul that rand’s balefiring of the whole fortress will cause him: “semirhage had been corrupt to the bone from the start. but others of them had taken different paths to the shadow, including ishamael. she could see the memories, so distant, in moridin’s eyes...yes, he knew exactly what al’thor was feeling.” is this a crumb of Ishamael Tragic Backstory???? man i reeeaaaaaally hope the show does a lot more with forsaken backstories and actually shows us what they were like before they became evil, and especially their friendships with lews therin and the pain of that betrayal. i want my feelings to be hurt!

“it will break al’thor, ruin him, if he loses aybara.” aww even the shadow knows they’re besties 🥺

“during the first weeks following her silent abdication, she’d hoped to find a way to return to andor, so she could be a resource for elayne. however, the more she’d considered it, the more she’d realized that she had to stay away. everyone in andor had to assume that morgase was dead. each queen had to make her own way, and elayne might seem a puppet to her own mother if morgase returned. beyond that, morgase had made many enemies before leaving.” noooooo i need my full morgase-elayne-gawyn reunion!!!! (i have rescinded galad's invite to the family reunion, and he doesn’t deserve to be rand’s brother either)

it’s so heartbreaking that morgase still has no idea that gaebril was a forsaken and that she was under compulsion, and thinks just the same as everyone else that she only became a fool for a man

lan being followed by the other borderlanders nynaeve sent after him:

“trollocs in the two rivers?” it’s more likely than you think

we’re setting up to finally resolve perrin vs. the whitecloaks and i truly could not care less. oh, i should mention that perrin’s had quite a bit of pov so far and i just haven’t commented on it bc i have absolutely nothing to say about it jkfg i know some people love the wolf stuff but i was never into it, to me perrin’s wolves and whitecloaks plotlines are just about as boring as the faile kidnapping plotline.

number of women whom mat, in this one chapter alone, spends a paragraph describing how hot they are and then hastily reassuring us that he has no interest in them since he’s a married man now and claiming that he’s only checking them out in order to be a wingman for various friends who aren’t even with him at the moment: 4. he’s gonna cheat on tuon so fast it’s unreal, and good for him

“mat would have given her his best smile - there was not a woman he had met who did not melt for his best smile” not mat doing the exact same thing he complains that elayne allegedly always does! i love it

“he had sent word to [elayne] but had not gotten a reply. how was that for gratitude? by his count, he had saved her life twice. once should have been enough to reduce her to tears and kisses, but he had not seen even a peck on the cheek. not that he wanted one.” JSKDJFGK mat is SO desperate for kisses from elayne!! and so sulky that he has yet to receive any! don’t worry mat, she AND rand are very appreciative of you and will both give you so many kisses when you see them again.

“there was no avoiding royalty now! not for him. at least tuon was pretty. and good at playing stones. and very keen of wit, good for talking to” mat, have you considered: elayne is all of those things as well and also has the advantage of not being evil? also lmao at mat claiming tuon is good to talk to??? footage not found

“that siege was over now, and a new queen - the right queen - held the throne.” mat would have been elayne’s #1 supporter and her loyal captain-general i’m so mad!!

“for once, there had been a battle and he had missed it...an entire war had been fought over the lion throne, and not one arrow, blade, or spear had entered the conflict seeking matrim cauthon’s heart.” now you’re just rubbing it in that mat Should Have Been part of that plotline but wasn’t!

mat and thom are wondering who could possibly make them a gateway to the tower of ghenjei if verin doesn’t come back. elayne is right here! you know she can make gateways! tho of course at the current moment elayne hasn’t replied to mat’s letters and he’s fretting that she might never invite him to talk to her.

“for an aes sedai, i kind of like verin” awww mat!

“talking to [norry, who’d given the band permission to camp near caemlyn] meant elayne knew mat was here. she had to. but she had sent no greetings, no acknowledgment that she owed mat her skin.” mat is so desperate to see her!

“he had a slight fondness for teslyn, against his better judgment” “‘remember, should you ever come to the white tower, you do have women there who are in your debt, matrim cauthon. i do not forget.’ he took [teslyn’s] hand. it felt as bony as it looked, but it was warmer than he had expected. some aes sedai had ice running in their veins, that was for certain. but others were not so bad.” awww mat! and he offers her extra horses after having made a big stink about not giving the aes sedai extra horses in the last book! it’s a shame the aes sedai are leaving just when mat’s attitude towards them has become bearable lmao

and teslyn weaves air to fly mat out of the gholam’s reach (he’d taken off his medallion to try hitting the gholam with it) and he’s not even That scared about being touched by the power!

the gholam: [threatens to kill tuon] me: oh my god PLEASE do

mat mourns and feels guilty for the band members who died because the gholam was trying to get to him, and they aren’t even women!

“[one of joline’s warders] always seemed to be looking for someone to murder; each conversation with him was an interview to see if you fit the criteria.” LMAO sanderson’s mat does come up with the best descriptions of people

“are you going to swear at [elayne] too?” “of course i am. how else is she going to trust that [the letter] is really from me?” true love ❤️❤️

perrin’s asha’man are learning how to link with aes sedai. “grady had mentioned that creating a circle this way seemed to require the men to gain control over the women.” of course it does 🙄 why? literally give me one good reason why saidin-saidar circles would only work with a man in control.

“‘my lord, the taint is gone. i’m not going to go mad. that means...well, i always had a reason to fight. but now i’ve got a reason to live, too.’ looking into the man’s eyes, perrin understood. what must it have been like? knowing that you’d eventually go mad and need to be executed. likely by your friends, who would call it a mercy. that was what perrin had sensed in the asha’man all along, the reason they held themselves apart, often seeming so somber. everyone else fought for life. the asha’man...they’d fought to die. that’s how rand feels, perrin thought.” 😭😭😭 once again i am saying No, You’re Wrong, Non-Min-And-Nynaeve Characters Do Care About Rand Actually, They Just Aren’t Allowed To Spend Time With Him

“bornhald looked at him. ‘it is you. the light has delivered you to us.’ ‘unless it has also delivered you an army three or four times the size of the one you have now,’ perrin called, ‘then i doubt very much that it will matter.’” JSKDFJ perrin’s best clapback to date

perrin, upon seeing galad, who makes every single person who’s ever laid eyes on him swoon, whom mat straight up said was as pretty as a girl: “most women would probably call him handsome.” PROBABLY. perrin really is the most heterosexual character in the book hjdkfg

yes i know mat calling galad as pretty as a girl (this was back in tdr) was meant as a sexist insult and not mat thinking galad was as attractive to him as a girl would be..............but was it really though?

ELAYNE!!!!! RETURN OF THE QUEEN!!!!! RECALLED AS SHOUTING THANK GOD IT IS MY WIFE!!!!!!

talking about the imprisoned nobles who opposed elayne: “‘you could execute them,’ birgitte said. they both [elayne and dyelin] stared at her. ‘what?’ birgitte said.” birgitte: do you want me to kill that guy for you? because it sounds like he sucks and i will totally kill that guy for you

elayne is going to move on the sun throne! she explains later in the chapter that she’s worried about rand creating an empire and a successor coming up to claim it and keep it whole should he die in the last battle, in which case andor would be surrounded by the seanchan empire + rand’s successor’s empire + the borderlanders, hence elayne wants to hold cairhien herself to prevent this sort of Dragon Empire from happening. these are the kind of things that would be FASCINATING conflicts to see in rand and elayne’s personal relationship and yet we are completely deprived! why the fuck don’t we EVER get to see the two of them dealing with stuff like this? such a waste.

“in one step i could become one of the most powerful monarchs since artur hawkwing.” Good For Her!

“‘if someone is going to go out of her way to insult me, then i at least want to be aware of it. if only so that i know whom to behead later on.’ norry paled. ‘figuratively, master norry.’” jkdjfjg i love her. also, the norry-mistress harfor-essande holy trinity have gotta be my favorite tertiary characters i’d say (lini too, but i feel like she’s a slight step above tertiary, tho not quite secondary)

elayne receives mat’s letter!!! the letter is another example of “sure it’s a dumbing down of rj’s mat but it’s hilarious so i don’t care” and also it confirms that mat thinks elayne has a great ass which he “hardly ever spent any time looking at” and this is the most important piece of canon information i have ever received. then birgitte tells us that mat also has a great ass, which is the second most important piece of canon information i have ever received.

hi i’m mat i’m 19 and i never learned how to fucking read. lmao no but show!mat especially i COULD totally buy not being good at spelling words. show!mat i could buy not knowing how to read or write at all, there are definitely not any books in the show!cauthon household! book!mat however did previously write a perfectly good note to elayne in acos so inconsistency yes yes on the other hand that note iirc WAS transcribed in his own pov so maybe he just thought he was spelling everything right. also, i think it would be great if mat gained like beautiful formal old tongue writing ability with his past memories but still just does not fucking know how to spell anything in his own language dkfjg

anyway, elayne’s reaction to the letter and learning that mat escaped ebou dar and is ok and is now in andor: “so many emotions and questions welled up in her. birgitte stood upright, frowning, feeling the emotions. ‘elayne? what is it? did the man insult you?’ elayne found herself nodding, tears forming in her eyes. birgitte cursed, striding over. master norry looked taken aback, as if regretting that he’d brought the letter. elayne burst into laughter.” 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ SHE IS SO EMOTIONAL AND SO HAPPY she loves mat so much!!!!!

elayne is arranging a meeting with mat!!! matlayne reunion is imminent!!!!

“mat is...a particularly dynamic individual. he can be very useful when properly harnessed. when he is not - which is most of the time - he can be an outright disaster.” jdkjfg elayne knows her man

elayne is thinking about how useful mat and the band will be to her and hoping to use them to take cairhien! this is exactly what i’ve been fucking saying! he should’ve been here all along!!

“elayne loved [rand]. but she didn’t intend to see andor become merely another part of the dragon’s empire.” “the woman in her cringed to think of planning for rand’s death, but the queen could not be so squeamish. the world was changing.” 👏👏👏 and again, so similar to egwene’s heart vs. duty conflicts with gawyn but elayne is never given the opportunity to actually explore these WITH rand. because for some godforsaken rand was stuck with the one girlfriend who offers him nothing interesting narratively speaking.

speaking of, we go from elayne to TWO (2) chapters IN A ROW of min pov which is a crime against me. but i know rand’s plotline is small in this book and i assume min won’t do shit at the last battle, so hopefully i won’t have to put up with her too much for the rest of the series.

nynaeve: “i knew rand al’thor, and the boy still inside him. the man he’s become frightens me. i always told him he needed to grow up. and then...and then he did.” 😭😭

alanna has vanished after receiving a note with a red seal. another of verin’s little mystery scavenger hunt notes she’s just been sending out all over the continent?? maybe this one said that alanna has to attend the cauthor wedding that verin is setting up so she hastened off to the venue verin gave in the letter.

“min had long ago tossed aside all sense of decorum for her towering sheepherder.” yeah i fucking know min. also, i kept forgetting to say this before, i’m so annoyed that sheepherder became min’s thing for rand because it was originally LAN’S thing! how dare you stand where he stood etc.

“it let her see a part of him that others were never allowed.” not like he has 2 other allegedly equal partners or anything, min. elayne and avi think about each other’s relationship with rand frequently and sometimes min’s as well, but in her own pov min truly does not EVER think about elayne and avi or acknowledge that they’re part of the relationship unless they are standing right in front of her forcing her to acknowledge it. she really does see herself as rand’s one Real partner.

rand fiiiiiiiinally seems like he’s actually going to treat the maidens as capable warriors and let them fight for him and tell them when he’s planning to go somewhere and let them come with him if they wish! this SHOULD have happened after sulin’s awesome speech to him back in book fucking 5, but better late than never i suppose

“i do think you need some new insults, however. the ones you use are wearing out like last year’s lace.” hksjhdkfjg Jesus Rand is so bitchy, love that for him.

rand needs min to figure out callandor. is this going to become min’s second (2nd) contribution in 14 800-page books? (with the first being helping siuan escape) also like. why is she qualified to be the person figuring this out. she doesn’t know shit about channeling or ter’angreal! elayne should be doing this!

rand pardons cadsuane. cadsuane says “i trust you see the error in your deed. it strikes me as unsuitable that i should need ‘forgiveness’ or a ‘pardon’ in the first place.” so clearly she has learned absolutely nothing and not changed in any way. what was the POINT of her??? is The Thing she taught rand just that she brought tam to him which led to him learning to laugh and cry again? anyone could’ve done that! literally anyone! tho i SUPPOSE rand wouldn’t have gotten paranoid and tried to attack tam if he hadn’t been sent by someone rand was so mistrustful of. so then cadsuane’s purpose was to be so fucking bad at mentoring rand that she made him mistrust her enough to attack his own father upon hearing he talked to her lmao

“[the nobles] looked oddly out of place in the stone’s courtyard, where everyone else had a purpose.” okay i KNOW min did NOT just shit on OTHER PEOPLE for being useless 💀💀

“she’d never been fond of those who thought themselves more important than everyone else.” hey sorry was it not just last book when you were thinking about how you were the most important person in rand’s life because you’re The Only One Who Knows Him And Sees Him? and how you’re superior in this regard to his close friend who has known him since he was born? and are you not constantly acting like you’re rand’s one “real” partner despite being in a poly relationship?

weiramon is a darkfriend???? shit!!!! never saw THAT coming! after all the times rand was bitchy about how stupid he is jdkfjgh

we just saw tam in ghealdan with perrin but now he’s in tear with rand. i get that the timelines of the 2 plotlines aren’t synced up (perrin, mat, and elayne are still in TGS time) so it’s not confusing or anything to keep track of that, it’s just weird lmao. but i don’t know what else sanderson could’ve done - clearly there was way too much remaining material to allow for wrapping rand’s, egwene’s, perrin’s, and mat’s pre-last-battle-plotlines all up in a single book, but if he’d told all 4 plotlines concurrently across 2 books then TGS would’ve just ended halfway thru 4 different plotlines with no real resolution to anything, which would’ve been lame (i mean. not that rj didn’t do that frequently jkfjg)

“rand - who had faced forsaken without a tremor - was afraid of his father. rand took the last few steps in two sudden strides and grabbed tam in an embrace. he stood one step down, which brought them near an equal height. in fact, in that posture, tam almost seemed a giant, and rand but a child who was clinging to him. there, holding to his father, the dragon reborn began to weep. ... ‘i’m sorry father,’ he whispered. ‘i’m so sorry.’ ‘it’s all right, son. it’s all right.’ ‘i’ve done so much that is terrible.’ ‘nobody walks a difficult path without stumbling now and again. it didn’t break you when you fell. that’s the important part.’ rand nodded. they held each other for a time.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

absolute crime that that moment was from min’s pov instead of rand’s

and now rand introduces min to tam as someone who is very special to him. what do you want to fucking bet that rand is never going to even mention to tam that he has 2 other girlfriends and that neither elayne nor avi are ever going to get to meet tam and that he’s never going to have any idea that their babies are his grandchildren 🙄😤

in the tel’aran’rhiod hall of the tower: “there, set into the glass below the flame of tar valon, was a large segment in the shape of the dragon’s fang. that wasn’t part of the original window...did this window represent one of those, another world where dragon and amyrlin ruled tar valon side by side?” it’s about yin and yang it’s about balance it’s about two sides of one coin it’s about two parts of one whole!!!! it’s about rand and egwene being foils and co-protagonists!! earlier during the linking scene the asha’man said that he felt Whole while channeling both saidin and saidar together.........there was that thing rand heard about “the two must become one”..............what if the endgame will be the one power becoming whole instead of split into saidin and saidar, and everybody can channel both uniformly??? like how the true power isn’t divided. rj did love his gender essentialism so i’m skeptical that this will Really happen, but i wish it would!

egwene tells nynaeve that the seanchan attacked the tower and nynaeve just. does not ask for any details or have any followup questions lmao

awww egwene asks nynaeve for advice on how to handle being in a position of authority as a very young person whom people don’t respect as a superior, since nynaeve was in that situation as wisdom ❤️❤️ full circle moment! and through this conversation the two of them are finally able to reach an understanding about egwene outranking nynaeve, a role reversal they’ve both been struggling to handle ever since book 2. we love to see it!

elayne arrives too and i finally have my full wondergirl reunion!!!!! “you did it, egwene! we’re whole again!” a line later i realized elayne was talking about the tower being whole again, but my first and preferred interpretation was the wondergirls being whole again 😭😭❤️❤️

they make chairs to sit on and elayne makes herself a throne dkfjg i love her your honor. and egwene sits in the amyrlin seat but nynaeve just a regular chair: “nynaeve looked from one throne to another, obviously dissatisfied. maybe that was why she’d resisted these meetings for so long; egwene and elayne had risen so far.” aww baby! it’s okay you’re the queen of malkier now actually!

elayne about rand: “he’s awakened. he’s warm now.” ❤️❤️ then she tries to brush the words off as just some dumb thing that popped out, but egwene’s already been suspecting for a while that she’d bonded him and this just confirms it. “why didn’t she wish to speak of it?” because what would have been a very nice randlayne solo bond turned into an illegal 3-way bond that elayne did all the work for so that min could reap all the rewards 😤

nynaeve finally finds out elayne is pregnant! if she sees rand again this book and neglects to tell him i will call sooooo much bullshit! god it would’ve been SO easy to just throw in a line of elayne saying “don’t tell rand, i want to tell him myself” or something so that it could justify why So Many people know of elayne’s pregnancy and are in a position to tell rand but just have not done so lmao

“light! i didn’t think i’d let rand out of my sight long enough for that. when did it happen?” nynaeve did you forget the time in caemlyn when elayne whisked him away to ~speak privately~ and you didn’t see him again for many hours

“nynaeve generally did see the right way things needed to be done, so long as that right way didn’t involve her being wrong.” jdkfjg my beloved

elayne continues to get out of swearing the three oaths by saying what if it’s dangerous to do while pregnant lmao good for her

so much love for nynaeve repeatedly saying that rand will be completely unattended (but for cadsuane) if she leaves him. i know she’s only referring to aes-sedai-interests-wise, but also, i’m choosing to interpret that min doesn’t count for shit in her mind. as it should be!

not nynaeve slamming elayne for spending the last few months “mooning about and dreaming of rand al’thor” when elayne is the only goddamn person (besides egwene) who has done ANYTHING for the past several books, and NYNAEVE is the one who’s had no plotline but fussing over rand since like book 7! nynaeve really was sidelined beyond belief in the second half of the series after being one of the strongest players in the first half.

update: nynaeve just figured out how to Heal madness!!! she is back in the game! “i can’t let myself begin to think that nothing i do matters. that’s what the dark one wants.” ❤️

nynaeve has a convo with rand and does NOT tell him that elayne’s pregnant SMH!!!! maaaaaaybe she assumes he already knows? or maybe we’re meant to assume that offscreen elayne did ask her not to tell him? or, good god, are we meant to believe that nynaeve is actually trying to mind her own business for once? but fuck man i should not have to do these mental gymnastics to justify somebody neglecting to tell her best friend that his long-distance girlfriend whom he hasn’t seen in months and may never see again, and who is also her best friend, is pregnant. i mean, this is nynaeve! rand AND elayne both trust her implicitly! if anybody was going to play messenger about the pregnancy it should be her!

anyway, rand tells nynaeve about how she shouldn’t let the white tower “ruin” her because she’s Better than all of them due to having visible emotions, which i’ve seen quoted often as an empowering quote for nynaeve or as a nice tribute to her and rand’s relationship, but tbh i find the whole thing fairly condescending and irritating. i wouldn’t want nynaeve to change either but there’s no need to pull a Not Like Other Girls Aes Sedai about it. just because people care differently than you do or don’t emote visibly doesn’t mean that they don’t care at ALL, rand! “moiraine cared. you could see it in her, even when she was calm.” i mean yeah and you only got to realizing that about her after knowing her very well for a very long time. have you considered that the “emotionless” aes sedai you’ve only met in passing are actually the same way and you just don’t know them very well?

maybe i chugged TOO much White Tower Propaganda Juice during egwene’s plotline last book jkfjgh but this passage just got my goat!

rand says that the two women he’ll use callandor with will be definitely nynaeve, and then PERHAPS aviendha or elayne. PER FUCKING HAPS!!! they are, allegedly, rand’s committed partners to whom he is PSYCHICALLY BONDED and he can literally feel all their emotions, yet he only PERHAPS considers them among his most trusted saidar users????? you fucking know that if min could channel he would’ve listed her as a shoe-in. I HATE IT HERE!!!! it’s so true that the bonding changed absolutely nothing about rand’s behavior or mindset. like, you would THINK that the average warder would consider his aes sedai his #1 most trusted saidar user!

narratively speaking i would love it if the other woman ended up being egwene and we got her, rand, and nynaeve all doing the callandor thingy together, but idk how likely that is

nynaeve describes rand’s madness as “thousands upon thousands of the tiny black thorns pricked into his brain, but beneath them was a brilliant white lacing of something. a white radiance, like liquid power. light given form and life.” interesting. so he WAS really going saidin-mad for real (not just normal trauma reactions) but the epiphany put a bandaid on it? how? what does it mean? what does it all mean? maybe we will find out more later, but for now my mood is “not to be a lazy reader who expects to have all the information handed to me but considering how hugely important rand’s whole mental health situation is to the story, i wish it would be explained a little better and more clearly” lmao

“i will need to send someone [to the black tower]” oh my god no SHIT rand jkfjgh they’ve been running rampant and unsupervised for 7 books despite NUMEROUS warnings you’ve received about how bad the situation is getting!

egwene discusses mesaana with some of the black ajah hunters, two of whom (saerin and seaine) are on my Mesaana Disguise Suspicion List i think, tho frankly i can never keep track of all the minor aes sedai so who knows. i hope it’s saerin so that “‘from what i’ve been able to learn about her,’ saerin said, ‘mesaana was good at preparation. she excelled at it.’” will turn out to be the meme of obama giving himself a medal jdkfjg saerin DOES seem to know an awful lot about mesaana’s personality and motivations despite claiming she could only find “tales, rumors, and whispers”.................

i appreciate that faile (like many characters) shows growth and self-awareness and regret/embarrassment over her past behavior under sanderson’s pen, but i feel like she’s doing that FAR more than any of the other characters and it’s starting to feel like the author breaking the fourth wall and being like “i know faile was the series’ most despised character up to this point and i’m trying so hard to fix that” which is annoying because, while she certainly had her bad moments, i still loved her and felt the fandom hatred of her WAY overblown and unfair.

“what would the two rivers folk do if he stepped down as their lord?” go back to the way things were when they were just fine without a lord for many generations, probably. i mean i get that they need a stronger government system now that there’s been a population boom with so many people coming to live there from other regions, but couldn’t they just invent a beefed up version of the women’s circle and village council or something instead of going straight to feudalism?

faile gives us some saldaean marriage culture information (the shanna’har anniversary celebration) and also shares the anniversary-esque tradition that tam told her he used to do with his wife (once a year they packed a picnic and hiked to a new place in the woods and spent the day there together 😭) and i am thriving!! different cultures’ marriage/romance traditions my beloved!!

“how can i feast while my people are being held under threat of execution and while the world itself may die?” “if the world itself is going to die, is this not the time when a man must take time to appreciate what he has? before it is all taken?” faile could’ve done wonders for rand earlier if she’d been around to give him this outlook damn

and then they communicate! they confide in each other! share the secrets and insecurities they’ve been silently worrying about this whole time! “each word spoken made him relax more...in telling her of his struggles, he felt some of his burden lift.” ❤️❤️❤️ WE LOVE TO SEE IT my god how did perrin and faile become the most healthy canon couple jkfjg i guess with the competition being the likes of rand/min and mat/tuon the bar is on the fucking floor. even lan and nynaeve are dishonest with each other more often than not tbh and gawyn and egwene are currently Going Through It (tho they ARE attempting to communicate and just still disagreeing, so points to them for that) and of course rand/elayne and rand/avi don’t ever fuckin see each other so they’re disqualified from even competing here.

“those brotherless had been with the shaido, and they had attacked and killed men under perrin’s protection. no act of kindness would redeem that. they deserved their deaths. that gave him pause. the whitecloaks probably said very similar things about him. but the whitecloaks had attacked first.” FUCKING THANK YOU this one goes out to that one anon who was trying to argue that perrin and hopper were in the wrong for attacking the ~innocent and harmless~ whitecloaks back in eotw. the whitecloaks attacked first!

“‘you, husband, always seem uncomfortable when we yell. i’m very glad you’ve begun to stand up for yourself, as is proper. but i have asked much from you to adapt to my ways. i thought, tonight, i would try to adapt to yours.’ those were words that he had never expected to hear from faile. it seemed the most personal thing she could ever have given him. embarrassingly, he felt tears in his eyes, and he pulled her tight.” ❤️❤️❤️❤️

#wot #wot book spoilers

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anderscim · 10 months

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If you're taking er.....'requests' for theories about characters, I want to discuss something peculiar about David <- being a simp

I'm going to sound like the biggest David apologist ever, but....I have reason to believe that he wasn't lying about his family depression secret. Not in the sense that he actually has it, but him legitimately believing that was his motive secret. When he walked into the dining hall in episode 4, he was getting frustrated and stressed from all the fighting and you can even see the stars going out in his eyes. His distress and annoyance felt more to himself since his body language also helps to see that he was doing his best to block out the fight. The first CG looks like he was trying to think of something to stop it, and the second one looks like he was just growing more and more stressed until he finally stepped. What I'm trying to say is, his family depression secret feels more blurted out than actually thought out. Yet, it was highlighted in yellow, so it's worth considering. Not to mention, he has shown signs of being depressed since day one

You can also see when Arei was going to confront him, she started off by flat out saying "Why did you lie about your secret?" after she found David. David was still shocked at her question. If you knew you were caught red handed lying about your secret, yeah you would still try to deny it. But the first thing that comes to mind, in this situation, is that "Oh shit, Arei must've gotten my secret,". It was also hinted that David thought this way when Arei told him she wanted to talk about his 'secret' until Teruko and Eden walked in. So why would David still try to 'play dumb' when he knew he was done for with the person he presumed had his secret?

My guess is that he genuinely thought his family depression was legit his secret. You can even see his sprite when Arei reveals what it actually is. He's......shocked. He stutters a bit until he asked Arei if she was the one that got his secret, and then just....completely shuts off. He even goes to see the secrets being revealed the next day (keep in mind, he KNOWS what his real secret is) and when Teruko asked him which one is really his, he uses a similar sprite to the ones he used when Arei was grilling him. They all look like he's on the brink of a panic attack, almost triggering him. It's a whole another can of worms than what I'm going on about, but opening the lid a little bit.....David looks....triggered by being called manipulative. It makes me think that this whole act is a breakdown of his and he's just playing along with a last minute act he made up cause no one is going to believe anything he says cause they're convinced he's just this horrible person with no context behind it. You can even see Arturo was triggered when his secret was brought up. If I was planning a killing game and this was the secret I was working with, I would care more about getting underneath the skin of the participants than making these secrets accurate. Not saying one secret is wrong and the others are right, but you can't deny they're worded in a really unfavorable manner

Also, ngl, even if you are aware you are manipulative, how can anyone guess their secret is "You were born only to manipulate others"?

Sorry I went off on a tangent, but yeah :)

don’t worry about going on a tangent, you’re not the only one lol. if someone mentions david in front of me, i will start talking about him and never shut up ( ´ ▽ ` )

(take what i’m about to say with a grain of salt)

and actually, i think i touched on this a little bit once! i highly doubt david was aware that his secret was about manipulation, at least not until arei revealed it to him in private.

i’ve mentioned this before but david’s motive secret is the most “up to interpretation” out of the rest of the cast, and there’s no specific factual details in there like the other secrets:

“the thing is, everyone else’s secret, though written in a way that took out crucial context and painted them in a bad light, was at least somewhat based on an actual occurrence, portion of their identity, and real information. david’s secret is the most vague and was written in a way to attack his purpose and what he personally (secretly) believes his actions to entail. but, unlike everyone else, there’s no concrete occurrence, action that he’s done, or any specific detail in that secret that connects him to manipulation. additionally, his is the most open-ended.”

overall, his secret is really ambiguous, which makes it difficult to guess in the first place.

given that it’s heavily implied that he at least struggles with his mental health, it makes significantly more sense (for david) to think his secret was about depression.

but the thing is—david’s pretty smart, so i’m sure he’s aware that these secrets were tailored to “get underneath the skin of the participants” like what you said. but not only that, they’re also written in a way that diminishes the reputation of that person from an outside perspective. i mean, even the secret he received (which is probably teruko’s) is worded in that way—it’s incredibly difficult to take something like “this killing game is your fault” at face value without proper background information. these secrets are almost written in a way to be accusatory, and it’s difficult to derive any outside context about them without directly asking the person themselves.

but in that case, which would be more tarnishing towards the reputation of the “Ultimate Inspirational Speaker” — the fact that your family has a history of depression, or the fact that you’re still struggling with depression yourself?

my personal theory is that david actually thought that his secret was about his own depression (despite his optimistic persona), and his wording of a “family history of depression” was a half-hearted attempt to dance around that fact. but like you said, it was blurted out, so i feel like it was more a rushed attempt than anything else. though it’s heavily likely that the family history of depression is still true, it’s still intriguing that he decides to use this exact wording—and personally, i see it as him refusing to directly admit he has depression himself. (but i do think david genuinely believed his secret was related to depression)

about the part with him possibly being triggered by the word “manipulation,” i think that’s a really good theory. like you said, his sprites (and that shaky breath the VA put in) during his conversation with arei look like he’s genuinely shutting down. not just that, the same exact sprites are used right before his breakdown in the ch2 trial, when his motive secret is officially confirmed (and when everyone else is reacting to it). it makes total sense if he was spiraling during that time, and i personally believe that to be the case. if you couldn’t already tell from my previous posts lol /lh

thank you for the ask lexi ^^ sorry this is kind of short though, i wrote this while on a car trip so it was kinda rushed

and like i said before, my inbox is currently open so feel free to send in other things you guys are curious about as well!

#bagel’s asks #bagel’s train of thought #drdt #danganronpa despair time #despair time #david chiem #i will never shut up about david #never

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starry-blue-echoes · 1 year

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Combine corpse of gold with any au where Jonathan makes it to italy

O W

I’m gonna pick the Jonathan Lives As A Vampire AU for this because that’s gonna be a whole can of worms and just. Pain. Also so Giorno and Jonathan can be Undead Buddies

And for an extra bonus of angst….. well, it’s been a long while since Giorno died. Probably long enough for him to legally be declared dead once his school noticed he stopped coming.

So when the Speedwagon Foundation end up finding out about Giorno’s existence….. well, they would have every reason to think he’s dead.

and this would crush Jonathan.

This man is going to feel. Awful about this. Absolute enragement over how Dio’s flippant actions and lack of care meant that Giorno slipped through the cracks sure, but also no small amount of self loathing over the fact his son died and Jonathan never got to meet him. Just like George II, he was stolen from life too soon before he was ever allowed to know of their existence. He never got to learn what the child Haruno liked, never got to watch him grow, never was allowed to be there.

He goes to Italy anyways. The least he could do was show Haruno proper respect and leave flowers by his grave. After the utter failure he was as a father to the boy in life, he wanted to do at least this much. Maybe he even uses The Passion to find the grave, using the Stand’s knowledgeable abilities to find where the small boy had been buried. He found it a little strange how far away it was from any normal graveyard, but he was too grief stricken to really care

And what if that’s how Giorno finds him. What if some time before Bucciarati was to take him to meet Polpo he decided to go to his grave, maybe for a bit of reflection on how far he’s come….. and then he finds a man.

And he’s immediately defensive. No one knew where his grave was, so why was this man here. He didn’t recognize him, was fairly certain he’d never seen him in his life. And he- ….. he’d placed flowers. Why did he place flowers, no one cared about his death so why would this stranger care, and why now of all times

He approaches the man. He doesn’t react to the footsteps and stays kneeling by the grave.

It’s long minutes of silence before Giorno finally speaks.

“What are you doing here?” he says, his voice barely a whisper in his desperation to not give away any emotion

The man stiffens….. then he relaxes. His shoulders go limp, and the despite not seeing the man’s face he looks completely and utterly defeated

“I’m giving my respects to my son.”

And had it still been in his chest, Giorno would have felt his heart stop

His father. His biological father. The man who as a child he’d dreamed of meeting, who he’d hoped and prayed of returning to swoop in and save him from his mother and stepfather, who he’d spent hours fantasizing about with only a single photo and his mother’s drunken rambles for reference-

But at the same time why, why now, why if all times did he only come here now, after he died, did he only care that he dead, why why why?

He doesn’t know what to say

And the man, his father, continues talking anyways, oblivious to the surge of emotions Giorno is now feeling

“I never met him before.” He starts. “So while we’re related by blood, I don’t know if I truly deserve to be called his father. I…. I didn’t even know he existed until three days ago. Had I know he was there, I would’ve come sooner, I wanted to know him, to be there for him when he was growing up-“

but then he stops. And then he lets out a bitter, bitter laugh.

“Although to be fair, I don’t know if I would’ve been allowed to be there.” He spat the word like it was rotted. “Besides…. Dio never did like threats to his success. In all honesty he probably would’ve just killed the boy sooner.”

Giorno has questions, so so many questions. What did he mean “not allowed to be there?” Who’s Dio? Why would he want to kill him???

And he knows there’s only one way to get answers

So he opens his mouth once more, and through the crackling of emotion a single word can be made out

“Dad?”

#H h h h h h o w #jonathan lives #corpse of gold #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #golden wind #vento aureo #jjba part 5 #jjba jonathan #jonathan joestar #jjba giorno #giorno giovanna #jjba dio #dio brando #sb answers #dragoninthelabratory

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