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firebrands · 4 years

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chances are | steve/tony

1.9k, T, unconscious acts of affection as told through the avengers’ POVs + fluff and getting together | “stony bingo prompt fill: unconsciousness | on ao3

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1. Acts of Service

Clint’s halfway through his cereal when Tony walks in, suit jacket in hand. His sleeves are rolled up and his tie loose around his neck. He takes one look at Clint and sighs dramatically.

“I hate being alive,” he says, slumping over the coffee machine and mournfully pressing buttons to make himself a drink.

Clint snorts in response, used to the melodrama of Morning Tony.

As if on cue, Steve enters, carrying a box of donuts and a cup of coffee.

“Tony!” He says, grinning brightly. He sets the donuts down. “Glad I caught you before your next meeting.”

Tony remains slumped over the coffee machine, making a sad sound as it slowly whirs to life.

“I got you coffee,” Steve says gently. He places it on the counter in front of Tony, and from where he’s seated, Clint can see that his smile has faltered, a little.

Huh, Clint thinks to himself.

“God answered my prayers!” Tony says, jumping to life and taking the cup. He takes a sip, then turns to Steve, surprised.

“You know my order?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, coloring slightly. Clint only notices because he’s watching them closely. “I remembered you had a big meeting today and figured you’d need a pick me up.”

Tony looks down at his coffee, trying and failing to hide his smile.

“Thanks,” he says.

The kitchen goes quiet, save for the coffee percolating.

“Well what about me,” Clint cuts in, because it’s just too much.

Steve laughs, and looks a bit grateful for Clint’s interference. “I got the team donuts.”

“Well, I’m off,” Tony says, clearing his throat. “Thanks for the coffee, Cap.”

“You’re welcome.”

Tony hesitates at the door, and he turns to say something else, but Steve beats him to it.

“And don’t worry about your report from yesterday, I got it covered,” Steve says in a rush.

“Oh,” Tony says. He blushes a little, and Clint briefly considers stabbing himself with his spoon. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Steve waves Tony off. “Go on, you might be late.”

“They can wait,” Tony says, smirking at Steve. “But okay. Thanks, really.”

Once a few moments have passed and Clint is sure Tony’s out of earshot, he turns to Steve with a raised brow.

“Never expected you to play favorites,” he teases.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Go eat your donut.”

2. Quality Time

It’s a perfectly normal Tuesday afternoon. That in itself should have been warning enough, but Bruce is sitting comfortably beside Tony on the couch, and he figures that he ought to make the most of the silence. Tony hums absently to himself as he adjusts calculations on his tablet. He’d come up from the workshop earlier to ask for Bruce’s help, and elected to stay upstairs in case he needed Bruce’s input again to save him the trip.

Then Steve steps out of the elevator, evidently freshly showered.

“Hello,” he says, smiling at them. Bruce nods in response, then goes back to reading.

“Hey,” Tony looks up from his tablet and stands up. “How was the mission?”

“Fine.” Bruce tries not to eavesdrop, but can’t seem to focus—he’s read the same sentence thrice now.

“Wanna get a snack?” Tony asks. “It’s been a minute.”

“Yeah?” Bruce looks up just in time to see Steve scratch the back of his neck, looking vaguely embarrassed and a bit flushed. “I’d like that. If you’re not too busy.”

“Of course not,” Tony says, smirking. “Come on, there’s an apple pie in this cafe I found that has your name on it.”

Bruce frowns back at his book. Tony had mentioned earlier that he was working on something urgent, hence the need for Bruce’s support.

Evidently, it wasn’t as important as getting pie with Steve.

He hears the doors to the elevator slide open.

“Oh, shit,” he hears Tony hiss. “Bruce?” He shouts, across the living room.

“I’ll pass,” Bruce says, waving his book at them. “Enjoy the pie.”

He bites back a smile when he sees both of them blush at the same time, then look away from each other. If he were a more scheming man, he’d discuss this with the rest of the team. But he isn’t, and he goes back to reading.

3. Words of Affirmation

Thor slumps down on one of the seats in the quinjet and lets out a sigh of relief. The battle earlier was exhilarating, but he hadn’t gotten any rest the night before.

He’s about to nod off when Steve speaks. Thor cracks an eye open to look at Steve talking to Tony.

“The new suit you made,” Steve says, patting his side as if to make his point, “it fits like a glove. I have a much better range of motion.”

“Great.”

“Seriously Tony, thank you. It means a lot that you keep working on upgrades for us.”

Thor watches as Tony turns an amusing shade of pink.

“Yeah, it’s—it’s whatever.” Tony turns away.

Thor sits up a little straighter. “Indeed, Anthony,” he says. Tony stops in his tracks. “Even I, for all I’ve seen, am amazed at your abilities.”

“Oh,” Tony says, looking shocked. “Thanks.”

Steve beams up at Thor. “See. Like I said, you’re amazing.”

Tony’s blush deepens, and Thor laughs.

They arrive in the Tower soon enough, and it’s still early in the day that Tony can still make it to meetings. Steve and Thor are eating their second breakfast in front of the TV when Tony steps out of the elevator, looking immaculate despite the frown on his face.

“You okay?” Steve asks. He shifts forward, as if to get up, but stays seated.

Thor quirks an eyebrow at the movement, but Steve doesn’t notice.

“Yeah I just.” Tony waves his hand around, not finishing the rest of his sentence. “I think I need a coffee, or fifty.”

“Sure, let me,” Steve says, apparently deciding to finally get up.

“No I—I was just saying,” Tony sputters, following Steve into the kitchen.

Thor huffs, brings his bowl of cereal, and goes into the kitchen as well.

“It’s the least I can do,” Steve says, already pouring some beans into the grinder. “Seriously, Tony. You’re already doing so much, it’s honestly kinda amazing how much you juggle every day.” He turns to Tony, looking a bit embarrassed before he finishes by saying, “Well, I guess my point is, you weren’t exaggerating when you said you were a genius, huh?”

At the compliment, Tony turns to Thor with a look of disbelief.

Thor scoops a large amount of Froot Loops into his mouth. From behind Tony, Steve gives Thor a look.

“Indeed,” Thor says, chewing a little before adding. “You are a marvel.”

Tony makes a few strangled sounds, accepts the cup of coffee from Steve, and turns to walk out.

Thor is sure that both he and Steve notice that Tony stands a little straighter, despite his sputtering.

4. Physical Touch

Natasha notices it first over dinner. Tony touches Steve almost incessantly, first to get his attention to pass the salt, then a pat on the back to say thanks for cooking, then ruffling Steve’s hair when he makes a joke.

She decides, as Steve and Tony jostle over who does the dishes, that this is for further observation.

Then, as it is, the world’s on fire.

Still, on the quinjet, Natasha turns to Clint and tilts her head toward Tony and Steve’s general area, her eyebrows raised.

Clint looks, then snorts. “Maybe we should put up posters.”

They don’t have time to say anything else, arriving at the scene of the AIM attack. Natasha’s too focused on staying alive, listening on the comms for the next move, when she notices that a line has gone silent just as the battle winds down.

She finds them first; surrounded by rubble and quiet. The tenderness of the scene almost takes her breath away. “Is he—” she starts. Tony looks up, startled, his hand stopping mid-motion from stroking Steve’s hair away from his face.

“Yeah, I. Medical’s on the way.” Natasha breathes out, and fully takes everything in now that she’s adjusted to the threat level.

Tony’s helmet is on the ground, right beside Steve’s. She picks them up as she walks toward them, watching the way Tony cradles Steve’s head to his chest, keeping his head elevated. With his other hand, the one not carding through Steve’s hair, he’s pressing down on a hole in Steve’s stomach. He keeps touching Steve, his hand moving erratically from Steve’s hair, to his face, to his shoulder, his neck. When Natasha finally gets close enough, she can barely hear Tony whispering.

“Stay awake, I got you,” Tony says, and Steve is looking up at him, probably too exhausted to speak, but his eyes are open. There’s a bit of blood on the side of Steve’s mouth, and Natasha only notices it because she was wondering why Steve was smiling.

5. Giving Gifts

Steve takes a deep breath before he punches in his code for the workshop. As he enters, the volume of Tony’s music goes down considerably.

“Ah, Steve,” Tony says, lifting goggles up and off his face before turning to smile at him. “C’mere.”

Steve keeps his hands behind his back as he walks, his fingers flexing around the book he’d brought along. He takes another deep breath.

“Before you,” Steve pauses. “I mean, I was out this afternoon and.” He pulls the book out from behind him—a first edition copy of Tolkien’s Unfinished Tales. “You mentioned it was the only one missing from your collection,” he finishes.

Tony looks down at the book, taking it gingerly in his hands before looking back up at Steve. “You remembered,” he says, sounding shocked. “I mean, thanks. Wow. You remembered?”

“Yeah,” Steve tries to smile. He’s not sure if he actually achieves it. “Anyway. You said you wanted to talk?”

“Oh,” Tony says, looking away. If Steve wasn’t so focused on his own shyness, he’d say Tony looked a bit timid, too. “Well, this is perfect, really, because I got you something too.”

He turns around and pushes things around his workbench, then turns to Steve with a flourish. “A few weeks ago you talked about how you never got to see Europe during peacetime, and well…” Tony pauses and licks his lips. “I figured you’d never gone on vacation, either. After everything. So.”

He hands Steve a piece of paper, and when Steve glances down at it, he sees a printed ticket and an itinerary.

“I have a bunch of places there anyway, so you can stay wherever you want, JARVIS can set you up,” Tony says in a rush.

Steve holds the paper, then looks up at Tony, smiling a little.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well,” Steve stops himself from fidgeting, and swallows hard when he meets Tony’s gaze.

“Maybe you’d like to take some time off so you can read.” he gestures to the book in Tony’s hand, only to notice Tony's white-knuckled tony’s grip on it.

It gives Steve a sorely needed boost in confidence. “I was thinking we could go on vacation together.”

Tony makes a soft, choked sound. “Huh?” Then he holds up his hand. “Wait. Really?”

Steve bites his lip and looks away. “I mean, if you have the time.”

“If I have the time,” Tony repeats to himself, sounding disbelieving. “Steve.” He steps in front of Steve, forcing him to meet Tony’s gaze. “I have all the time in the world for you.”

A laugh bubbles out of Steve, joyful and unbidden, and a little bit shocked. “Good,” he says, reaching out and holding Tony’s hand, which is as disgustingly sweaty as his own. “Good.”

#stevetony #stony #superhusbands #steve/tony #steve rogers #tony stark #mcu #clint barton #thor #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #things i write #fluff

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fiddlepickdouglas · 3 years

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Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 10 - Clean This Up

Summary: Sunset Curve Alive AU, Willex, who is he really?, 2.9k

@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

WARNINGS: abuse, mild violence

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Alex had said to check the diner, so Victoria opted to have dinner there and asked to see the owner. She was aware of the vigilante-style work she was doing, but with everything else going on in her life, this couldn’t possibly hurt any worse. Folding her hands, she breathed calmly as she peeked at the menu. It was important not to act as authoritative as she usually did, she reminded herself. A portly man with short gray hair and a mustache came over and took the seat across from her.

“Hi there,” the man said, shaking Victoria’s hand. “What can I do for you?”

“Hi, I’m Victoria Molina,” she introduced herself. “I was actually trying to find someone and I was told you could help me.”

The man raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh, alright. Who are you looking for?”

“I’m looking for a young man of about seventeen, he goes by Willie? I was told he works here. I just have some questions for him. Would he happen to be in at all today?”

“We don’t have anyone named Willie here anymore,” the man told her. “I actually just bought this establishment along with the hotel about two weeks ago and a few of the staff followed the previous owner to a different business. You might want to talk to him instead.”

“Oh,” Victoria sat back in slight disappointment. “I take it you’re not Caleb Covington?”

“No, he’s the guy I bought it from. I’m Frank Wolfe. I can give you his contact information, though.”

Nodding, she smiled politely.

“I would appreciate that. Sorry I had to come bother you, though.”

“Not at all,” he said. “I apologize that I can’t be any more useful. If you like, I can take your order.”

“Oh, thank you. I’ll actually have the carne asada.”

“Perfect,” he smiled as he took her menu away. “I’ll have that information for you in just a minute, too.”

Taking a gulp of water, Victoria sighed. It certainly felt just like any regular case. The fact the business had recently changed hands made her want to be suspicious, but she fought to remain level-headed. It was enough that she was going off the word of a teenage boy and an old poster. If it was a dud, if this trip led nowhere, she would buy Carlos a gift and head home safe and sound.

After finishing her meal, she returned to her hotel room and pulled out the business card Frank Wolfe had given her. Something about the dark purple design and the old-fashioned lettering he’d chosen made her feel like Caleb Covington was at least a little pretentious, if not flashy about his business. Picking up the phone and dialing the number, she held her breath waiting for an answer.

“Caleb Covington, who may I be speaking to?” a baritone voice chimed on the other end. The touch of sing-song in his tone was unexpected.

“Hi, my name is Victoria,” she introduced herself for the second time that night. “I was told you were the guardian of a young man named Willie?”

“Are you with social services?” he asked.

She furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry?”

“I usually only get a call when we have a hearing scheduled, but our last one was just a couple months ago.” His tone had gone from happy to serious at such a jarring speed it took Victoria a moment to process his words.

“No,” she said finally. “No, I’m not with them. I didn’t mean to confuse you. I’m actually reaching out on a personal favor. See another young man I know says they met a while back.”

“Oh, is it the band that came through a few weeks ago?” Caleb immediately picked the cheer back up.

“Yes, I’m glad you remember,” she responded, surprised.

“How are those boys doing?”

“Oh, they’re just fine. I think they’re gonna be a success.”

“Good to hear it,” he said. “Listen, no harm done. I own a swanky little club just in the south of town. I would be delighted if you gave me a visit, and I’d be happy to chat.”

“Sounds great, thank you,” Victoria smiled, unable to believe how easy that felt. “I can stop by tomorrow evening.”

“Wonderful. If it isn’t too much, I’ll make you a reservation.”

“Well, I can’t say no to such generosity!” It had been a long time since Victoria had gone on a night out. This was a much needed vacation, and if it killed two birds with one stone, all the better. She said goodbye and decided since she was practically getting everything she needed at the club, the rest of the day would be spent treating herself for once.

Willie skateboarded up the driveway and only just remembered Caleb’s rule about the pool in time to hop off before pulling off his helmet and going around the back. He took the back route into the house and dropped a number of grocery bags on the counter. One of these days he would age out of the foster system and not spend the morning being Caleb’s errand boy, but for now he just laid Caleb’s credit card on the table and went outside toward his shed.

Opening the door, he saw Caleb standing in the middle of the room, looking around at all of his drawings. Paper covered most of the walls now. Faces with no names to them, locations with no map to their destination - only snippets of a past life. Willie couldn’t stop drawing them. There still weren’t many memories returning to him, but any detail was an important one. He hadn’t drawn this much in ages, since before he found Sheldon. The backwards dream had become a recurring one by now, and there was still very little that he understood about it. Still, he had so many scenes made out of it that he could almost recreate the dream in a very rough animation.

“Hi C-Caleb,” Willie stammered. This never happened. It made him immediately nervous.

“What a collection, William,” Caleb said, not exactly sounding like an awed patron in a museum. “I mean, the sheer volume of work that went into these is absolutely mind-blowing.”

A small pebble of pride rose in Willie’s chest.

“Really?.... Um, thank you.” He couldn’t suppress his smile.

Caleb held up a hand and looked down at his well-manicured nails, and then back up.

“I just don’t understand why I look so hostile in this one,” he said, pointing to the picture in question. “And that one. And all of these in this corner.” His gaze returned to Willie with unprecedented menace.

Willie immediately shrank away, his mouth gaping open.

“Well...I..they’re from a dream.”

“A dream?” Caleb repeated, not liking what he was hearing.

“Yeah, I think it was a memory.”

Willie watched the man straighten his posture, a calculating expression on his face.

“Are these all memories?” Caleb asked after a tense moment, casting his eyes about the room.

“I think so,” Willie said hesitantly.

Caleb lifted a hand and grabbed the bottom of one. It was the first one WIllie had done of his dad sitting inside the truck and smiling at him.

“Hm,” was all that he said for a second.

And then he tore it in half.

Willie made toward the picture in alarm, feeling a part of him inside being torn just the same, but was stopped as Caleb held a hand out.

“Ah ah,” he said. “What have I told you about becoming your own person regardless of the past?” He took a handful of another drawing and ripped that one too.

Ignoring what Caleb said, Willie lunged forward to try stopping him anyway. Caleb was faster, grabbing his shirt and tossing him backward into the wall. He couldn’t help but begin crying.

“But these are my memories, why would you - ” he sputtered, lost for words.

“Because, William,” Caleb continued loudly, pulling as many as he could off the wall and shredding them into smaller pieces. “Your history? The one full of loss and being shuffled here and there? That is all that awaits you. You know it’s the truth; that’s how you ended up here. I offer you the opportunity to become a new person, and I can’t allow you to spoil yourself with reminders. And besides, those little friends you not-so-secretly made a few weeks ago have started snooping around in my business, and I can’t have that.”

He didn’t even pick anything up, he just left paper strewn all over the floor and walked all over it. As he made for the last wall, Willie made one more attempt to overpower him. He leapt onto Caleb’s shoulders and tried to pull him back with all his weight. A fist landed in his eye and he slacked his grip. Caleb wrestled him onto the bed and held him down, a crazed look in his eye that Willie swore he’d never seen no matter how familiar it felt.

“I don’t understand, what do they have to do with it? Why can’t I have friends?”

“I’m doing this for your own good,” Caleb hissed at him. “You” - he reached up and touched the scar on Willie’s head with his finger - “You got a reboot and you know how many people are lucky enough for that? You should thank me. Unfortunately, you can’t have friends when they send someone asking me questions about that little past of yours. That’s just asking for trouble.”

All Willie could do was hold his eye and lay back as Caleb tore up the last of the drawings. Once he finished, Caleb patted himself off and made his way out the door.

“Clean this up,” he told Willie. “And don’t bother doing any more art.”

As the door shut behind him, Willie scrambled onto the floor to search for just one of the drawings. Shuffling through smudged pieces of paper, he saw a few tears drop onto his ruined work. Eventually, he held the picture of his father in two pieces in his hands. Sobbing, he tried to hold them together evenly, but Caleb’s work had made that hard to do. His only hope was to try drawing it again, but he was already terrified of what Caleb’s reaction to that would be if his first one had been this.

A piece of another drawing caught Willie’s eye from underneath. He recognized Caleb’s snarling face from the dream and was surprised at how well it captured what he’d just witnessed. His mind went back to the way he knew the look in Caleb’s eyes. Suddenly, the awful realization dawned on him: he finally understood the dream.

Victoria walked into the club that evening, glad she had taken the time to look and feel fresh. This place was clearly up to snuff and then some. A live band played with dancers scattered throughout, all in bright, sparkly, feathery getup. A tall man with neatly styled dark hair was mesmerizing the crowd as he sang, keeping the energy high. As she was led to a table, Victoria simply sat and watched, greatly impressed with the talent.

Once the man’s solo finished, he bowed, gestured at the band to play on without him, and exited the stage. To Victoria’s surprise, he took the seat directly across from her.

“Ms. Victoria, you look so lovely, how are we this evening?” he asked with a charming smile. “I’m Caleb Covington.”

“Are you kidding me?” she started. “That was you up there? You’re a man of many talents; I’m already dazzled.”

“Oh, well, I hope that remains a constant while you’re here,” he said. "But you came to ask me about some other things, what were they?”

“Yes, I had some questions about Willie.”

Willie sat outside the bodega, unwilling to move for a while. He felt like everything inside of him was empty, as if Caleb had possessed claws and dug everything out until he was left hollow. The many ideas that had risen in his mind in the past few hours were all too much, all at once. If he dared, was he sure he could handle everything that might come his way? Every time he’d heard that ridiculous speech about starting over, becoming his own, yada-yada, he hadn’t considered any of the options he was now contemplating.

He’d already done some things. Already bought some things. Now he got up to collect Sheldon and held him tightly as he nodded to Escobar, who saluted him back. The man had said he didn’t want a dramatic thank you. Stuffing the items he purchased in his bag, he kept a hold of Sheldon as he skated off into the darkness.

“So, you see, Willie isn’t missing. He was abandoned,” Caleb was saying to Victoria. “Poor thing has struggled to adjust. I’ve dealt with some handfuls in the past, but I really have been doing the most for him, and he’s been with me for more than three years. I think it’s really sweet of those boys to raise a concern, and I hate to be a dead end, but that’s the truth of it.”

Victoria sat, nodding in acceptance.

“That makes a lot of sense, Mr. Covington, thank you for providing that for me.”

“Oh, call me Caleb. We’re all friends in here.”

“Okay, then, Caleb,” she corrected. “What got you into foster care?”

He put a hand over his heart and a fond look came over him.

“The youth are just full of so much magic, and I hate to see that their parents have chosen to lay it to waste. I’m the one who takes some of the tougher cases so I can bring out the best in them. You see that young man over there, Dante?” Caleb pointed at one of the dancers. “Classic rebel when he was young. You wouldn’t even know, he’s turned into such a gentleman. There’s a few more here and there in the club. I call them my graduates.”

“Well, I will tell you,” Victoria said. “When I first talked to you on the phone I wasn’t expecting you to be so generous. But now I can see that it’s just how you are.”

Caleb shot her a playful smile.

“Victoria, no need to butter me up. I do have some tight business practices to keep up.”

Fluid poured over every inch of the shed. Willie had made sure it was more than enough to get things going. He’d made sure to get the essentials: food for himself and Sheldon, a few changes of clothes, and a stash of money he’d taken from the safe in Caleb’s bedroom. The man shouldn’t have given him the combination in the first place.

Stepping out of the shed he looked at it one last time. What a sad, lousy existence. Living to perform for this man who shut him up inside this little thing and he had actually called it home? The further he was into his plan, the bolder he began to feel. He remembered when he had missed getting into the Pearl and that feeling of wrongness that had made him so frustrated. This feeling he had right now? It was so right. It was so right it drowned out anything scary about this whole idea.

He looked back at where he had put Sheldon on a small leash and tied him along the fence around Caleb’s backyard. It was definitely a safe distance. Then Willie pulled a box of matches out of his pocket, lit one, and looked at the flame for a minute. He held it just over the threshold of the doorway so it would land inside. It was so weak, like he had been ever since his accident. But he knew it was going to become so powerful, and he desperately hoped that he could retain some of that power for himself.

“Clean this up, Caleb,” he said, and he let his fingers go.

Victoria had stayed just a little longer to enjoy more food and music before standing up and heading toward the door. Caleb saw her on her way out and made her stop for a moment.

“It’s been a lovely night, and I’m grateful for everything you told me,” she said to him.

“Well I’m glad you took the opportunity to see what I have here,” he replied. “If you’re ever in the city again, please stop by. We’re always partying and putting on the best show.”

“Oh, I most certainly will,” she said, smiling as she made her way outside.

Someone tapped on Caleb’s shoulder from behind. Wordlessly, he turned to see who it was and why it was important.

“Sir,” one of his servers said. “You have a phone call. It’s the fire department.”

“What?” Caleb spat as he went to pick it up.

Willie sped along on his board the best that he could with Sheldon in his arms. He carefully made it down the ramp onto the freeway, controlling his speed as well as he could. He could picture Caleb now, just getting back to his home, eyes wide as he came upon the blaze. It was a very strange feeling, but right now Willie chose to focus on his newfound freedom. The cost wasn’t the matter right now. Freedom was all that was going to take him and his cat as far as they could go. The destination for now was Los Angeles.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #fanfic #jatp fanfic #willex #alive au #alex mercer #willie #luke patterson #reggie peters #bobby wilson #aunt victoria #caleb covington #tw abuse #tw mild violence #viva las vegas #clean this up #fiddlepickdouglas

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gyllenhaalstories · 4 years

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SOUTHPAW, PART 1: HEADCANONS.

notes: dear anon: thank you for making me appreciate jake the rapper! also i know nothing about rap, so i’m sorry if this is pure trash! i never finished watching southpaw because it was too dark for me, but i took some very loose inspiration from it. warnings: mentions of dark past, mentions of sexual content... this got really long (2k words). gifs credits: alphalewolf. extras: if you want more informations about rapper!jake, please scroll through my blog. i have edited some older posts with the tag: topic: rapper!jake, so check it out if you’re interested. i have taken some ideas and put them in this list. (at the end of the list i provided some goodies!)

PART TWO WILL BE UPLOADED SOON, KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR IT!

attention, attention! please note i know absolutely nothing about rap. i very rarely enjoy listening to rap music, it’s simply not for me. this might be inaccurate and off compared to the actual world of hip hop and other similar genres. i apologize for my lack of knowledge! this is an au in which jake is not an actor or a producer or anything of the sort. his fame, he built it with his music. you must keep that in mind while reading these headcanons or else it will get confusing. also, i’ve taken some loose inspiration from jake’s actual work, but that’s just for the sake of backstory. are you ready to dive in this twisted fantasy?

Jake Gyllenhaal. Known as Hall. He exploded the charts after being picked up by one of the biggest record companies for his first album: Hall of Fame. He was a rookie, yet he was older than most of the rappers you can think of today. He worked his way up undercover. He started participating in poetry and slam nights at local cafés. He became a songwriter, through connections. He sold some songs that are absolute classics today, but he does not care. He did not feel like they fit him anyway.

Growing up, Jake had it rough. There was a lot of fighting at home. His older sister was the perfect angel and him? The absolute disaster child. It was not like he ran after danger and trouble, he seemed to always be at the wrong place in the wrong time, he hung out with the wrong crowd. He managed to avoid juvie on some miracle. What was the miracle, you might ask? He was caught robbing some local bank with his “friends” and the cops, at first, did not believe he was innocent. While his friends were screaming and threatening the innocent clients of the bank, Jake actually tried to help them out of the building safely. The cops arrived at the same moment and thought he was keeping the strangers hostage. He was arrested on the spot. The other guys played the victims, blamed it all on Jake but it was only when Jake wrote the whole story, from the beginning where his friends manipulated him and made of him their puppet to when he felt this adrenaline rush telling him he needed to save the strangers that night. His writing was too sincere, too raw to be a web of lies. The police released him, but they kept an eye on him.

His escape were writing and music. He impressed all of his teachers at school. Talented, gifted, magical. That was how they described Jake at every parent and teacher meeting. Writing dumb sentences that made very little sense and playing with a guitar after school, that did not make his parents very proud compared to his sister who was on top of all of her classes and working hard for a future of wealth and success.

Music was his entire life. He would come home from school and blast music until he was called out for dinner. Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Black Sabbath, Heart, Pink Floyd, Metallica, name it. He liked it loud. He liked it weird. He liked it with a deeper message, with double meaning.

He worked all types of jobs, some legal and some not so much. He was saving money for college. He applied. He got in. He started his classes. He had big dreams, too, he had ambitions. Maybe he could his talent to good use? He wanted to study philosophy, literature, music, creative writing... Anything that required thought and depth. He made friends, there. He befriended the edgy punk guy, he had tattoos everywhere, he listened to the same bands, he was quiet but his essays spoke volumes.

Jake was disappointed, his illusions were broken. He hated the format of his classes, the feeling like his opinion and his inspiration did not matter, it was always about meeting some stupid requirements to please a rich professor who did not care about passion, about talent, about originality. Jake dropped out, soon followed by his friend. His friend was hired at a tattoo parlor and Jake hung out there all the time. He would stay up until 5 am, 6, 7, all night and all day long. He loved the clients there. He would write and read his writing out loud to the clients when they were tortured by the needle shooting the ink in their skin. Talented and gifted, they all the same thing.

He started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

He wrote, not just stories and opinion pieces. He started writing songs, melody and lyrics. He started playing them, he started writing his own poetry too. He was introduced to freestyle battles. And as he fought against other talented thinkers, he noticed he spoke with a tempo, with a rhythm. He was rapping and he did not even realize it.

His career sky rocketed from the moment a music producer attended one of the rap battles. He was famous, he got quite the thick wallet and the connections. Jake was introduced to legends of hip hop. They all influenced him as his career grew to become something overwhelming and terrifying, yet thrilling and addictive.

Hall had a style of his own, though. It was romantic, yet absolutely disgusting and dark. It was aggressive, yet vulnerable and philosophical. He spoke of his trauma, of his hatred, of his envy, of his fears... He used his songs as an escape. He was becoming his own escape.

And his own prison. His family did not care about him, he was a shame, even. Aside from his old college friend, he never built strong friendships. They were all after him for fame and cash. He slept around, guys and gals, threesomes, foursomes... He did not care, anything for some genuine connection, even if it lasted for a very lazy and messy fifteen minutes in the trashy bathroom of a concert hall. Rumour had it he was a great lover, but he was so bad at loving.

Now it gets interesting...

Hall rapped alongsides Eminem, Drake, Kendrick Lamar, Travis Scott... The biggest pop stars were fighting just to get him to rap a line in their songs. Rihanna wishes he was the one singing Love the way you lie, does that give you an idea? He appeared on duets. He wrote more solo albums, sold them instantly. He never left the top of the billboard in weeks, months, if not years. It never really got to his head. He was still that sensitive boy writing about knights and princesses in his bedroom with walls covered by band posters. Fans did not care about this side of him, they loved him for his lyrics about snorting coke, drinking his pain away and fucking whoever wore the tiniest skirt around.

His latest album, Southpaw, was an even bigger hit. Pure filth. Pure gold. Imagine 13 tracks, Cardi’s and Megan’s WAP but reversed. He does not rap about how good he fucks people. He raps about how good they feel. That’s some real depth here, no pun intended.

You met him at one of his concerts. Your friend won VIP passes, so you were standing in the front and got to take a picture with him. You did not understand the hype around taking a photo with this guy, he just stood there and looked absolutely emotionless.

You hated rap, or perhaps you loved it. You did not care much for Jake, that was for sure. You thought he was just another lame rapper who thought he was the real deal because his lyrics were so explicit, even the clean versions made angels cry. The truth was, you did not know much a bout him. You found him too commercial, like he was scared of becoming irrelevant.

You saw right through him already.

But him? He already cared too much about you. You caught his attention as he rapped his songs. He could not take his eyes off you. You weighted heavy on his mind, caused him to stutter and forget lyricvs. Fans laughed, they said he was probably too drunk or too high too focus. Drunk in love, that’s what it was.

There was something about you. Maybe it was the Black Sabbath shirt you wore. Maybe it was the unimpressed look on your face. Maybe it was your plump lips he wanted to kiss. Maybe it was the sight of you laughing with your friend that made his heart skip a beat. Maybe it was the fact you treated him like a normal person even if you had not spoken to him first.

So, you met backstage.

Your friend was beaming from ear to ear, showering Jake in compliments.

“Did you enjoy the show?” Jake asked you.

“For someone who shows no emotion, sound dead inside and look like they wish they were doing anything but making dozens of thousands of dollars by singing a couple of semi mediocre tracks, yeah, it was not that horrible.”

He was up for a challenge.

You two exchanged insults like it was a boxing match. Each round was getting more and more intense. It was no longer insults, it was straight up flirting. You noticed when your bodies were so close you could smell the scent of watermelon chewing gum that escaped from his warm breath. You could hear the way his raced even faster than yours.

You were snapped out of this fantasy by his bodyguard, indicating other fans waited for him.

He remembered the name your friend called out, saying he needed to bring you home before something bad happened.

It was the most beautiful name he had ever heard.

He hung out around that concert hall for the next couple of days. At the bar nearby, at Starbucks, at McDonald’s, anything for the sake of seeing your face again.

And he did.

You were walking out of the record store with a vinyl of Heart squeezed under your arm. You looked so happy. You had paint stains all over your clothes. You were erasing the memories of a terrible relationship by decorating your tiny apartment, and you needed to set the right ambiance. You needed guidance, you found it in the strong minds of the ladies behind Heart, in Joan Jett, in Stevie Nicks. You found your silver lining in music.

Jake ran behind you, he pretended he was out jogging and he mysteriously bumped into you. He grabbed your vinyl before it could fall on the ground.

“Nice pick.”

“We finally agree on something.”

Another round of flirty insults...

... That ended in the two of you fucking like animals on the floor of your apartment.

And fucking on the couch the next day.

On the kitchen counter the morning after.

And finally, on the bed. That was a really special one. Jake was the first person to be on your bed since the departure of your ex. He could feel that you were not in the mood for a rough battle for dominance.

That night, he made love to you.

For, quite possibly, the first time in his life, he expressed his love directly to somebody. “Princess, baby girl, beautiful, gorgeous, amazing”, he showered you in compliments, and praises. The slow movement of his hips, the intense passion in his eyes and love in his heart spoke louder than the music you were playing in the background to set the mood.

You were not just another trophee to hang on the wall. You were special.

He was special too.

He bought you every record that reminded him of you. He bought you collector items of your favourite bands. From the silliest decoration to a new car to replace your crappy one, passing by tickets to exclusive and sold-out shows, Jake had never felt more famous in his life than when he was with you.

His fans noticed the change in his songs, in his lyrics. They were just as explicit, just as rotten and just as corrupted. However, they came from a place of light and love, not of darkness and rage.

He sang about how good your felt when you climaxed around him. How drenched he was whenever he made you squirt. How he loved to taste himnself on your lips. How he was full of love and of lust for you. How he would quit everything if it meant he would live a normal life, for once, and with you.

You inspired so many songs that became massive world-wide hits.

You travelled the world with him on tour. You helped him design his new merch and you wore his t-shirts with pride. You attended concerts in your freetime. You loved staying up all night, painting and drawing while he was writing about this mirage of a goddess, blessing his existence with a smile and a sparkle in her eyes.

He was addicted to you.

He was crazy for you.

And he went crazy on you.

for research purposes and not because i wasted my time hearing eminem talk about stuff i don’t understand so i could stare at jake’s thighs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP_cKP4OjsA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whV5oQDvVWE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGqC9URTJIQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5imXD1LPnwo

and finally, for good measure :

@gyll-yee-haw ily

#jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal smut #jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal x reader #topic: rapper!jake #series: southpaw

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hippriestess · 4 years

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Part 3 - “ I thought we had some kind of agreement but with you it was just prurience”

So, where were we. Ah yes....Record Store Day 2019.

It was, perhaps inevitably, a heavy day for Fall fans. Lead-in times both for the manufacture of vinyl records and for participation in RSD are such that Smith's death came too late for the impact to be evident in the 2018 event but for 2019, we were absolutely flooded in a way that caused some, quite rightly, to question the judgement of the organisers in allowing so many obvious vultures to swoop in for an easy bite.

The “monitor mixes” from the 2CD edition of “The Unutterable” were pressed to vinyl for the first time. “Whoo-fucking-pee” quoth the faithful and you will have absolutely no difficulty acquiring it today should you be down to few enough marbles for it to seem like a good investment. BMG hold the rights to the group's Rough Trade recordings and went with a box set of five 7” singles under the awful title “Medicine For The Masses”. This was the exact same format as “The Rough Trade Singles Box” from 2002 although with the bonus of containing the correct Peel Session versions of “Container Drivers” and “New Puritan” (Castle/Sanctuary had updated the 5 disc CD edition once they had acquired the rights to the BBC tracks but the vinyl edition of Italy's Earmark Records retained the Grotesque and Totale's Turns versions used in the initial pressings). Given not only that none of this material is any way scarce but that an excellent single LP release had been given to all 10 tracks in the box (Peel takes included) by US imprint Superior Viaduct in 2018, it was perhaps inevitable that “Medicine For The Masses” pretty much flopped on the day and can now be acquired brand new for a good £10 less than the asking price on the day itself.

Ah yes, Superior Viaduct, let's not forget them. A well-regarded reissue label with a smattering of current artists, they had already issued some Fall vinyl in 2016/2017, putting all the studio albums up to “Perverted By Language” back onto vinyl as well as the first 2 singles and the eternally category-defying “Slates” 10”. Following Smith's passing, they have (almost) completed the task with the aforementioned “Rough Trade Singles” LP and a new pressing of “Totale's Turns”. These editions have been very well received and have been praised for the quality both of the mastering and of the pressings but they remain largely inaccessible to UK fans due to licensing restrictions preventing the editions from being imported. As such, you'll hafta pick these up on a one-to-one basis off your own bat.

Right, back to Record Store Day 2019. We also had the “opportunity” to buy a number of live albums. 5 of them, in fact. All of these had previously been released on CD towards the end of 2018...so this was going to be called Crap Rap Part 14 but it's now called “Stop Releasing Every Gig You Can Find On Some Mouldy Third Generation Maxell C90 on a double LP”

Live albums have always been canon with The Fall. “Totale's Turns” was their 3rd LP release, “Live In London 1980” was issued by Chaos Tapes with the group's permission in 1982, “Fall In A Hole” was allowed until copies were exported. We had “Seminal Live” and “The 27 Points” mixing live with studio, as did “I Am Kurious Oranj” with several tracks recorded during the original Edinburgh run of the ballet. Even the “Perverted By Language Bis” video was largely live material. Even once the shark was jumped in the late 90s/early 00s with the endless recycling of those outtake/live compilations, there were official live missives, such as the excellent “Last Night At The Palais” in 2009, the wonderfully titled but patchy “Uurop VIII-XII Places in Sun & Winter, Son” in 2014 though to the terrible “Live In Clitheroe” in 2017. So, all in, it comes as no surprise at all that over 20 more live albums have been added to The Fall's discography since Smith's sad departure from this realm.

There were no less than 5 live albums dumped merrily onto the shelves for RSD 2019, 3 of them doubles. On their own, this would have been an outlay of over £100...in fact, if you wanted the full RSD Fall, you'd have had little or no change on the day from £250. For exactly no unreleased music. No unreleased music? What were these live albums then? Let's wind back to late in 2018... (I told you this was tough to do in any kind of linear fashion).

Arriving via the PledgeMusic site, “Set Of Ten” released by “Cog Sinister”, worked like this: 10 previously unreleased live recordings were contained in a sturdy square box with spiffy new artwork from Pascal LeGras. The tariff? £100. Ouch. Now, a handful of them were announced as separate releases, however, if you bought the box you would receive an exclusive disc – a recording from Derby, 1994. Cometh the hour, the Derby CD was one of the first to be released on its own. Huh.

A small amount of digging revealed that this set was the work of Rob Ayling. With the dates running from 1980 to 1999, the general opinion re: Set Of Ten was that these tapes were very likely to be in Ayling's possession due to the “Live From The Vaults” series on Voiceprint, Ayling's previous imprint, from 2005. When that series was announced, the five releases were said to be simply the first batch. It could therefore be deduced that these tapes had been destined for future batches. At the time, there was a minor dust-up over them and no further volumes were issued. Whatever the motivations, presenting an 11 CD set of old bootlegs with so little quality control being put into the audio and asking £100 for it felt like cold ash in the mouth. Worse still, PledgeMusic went bust before many customers could receive their sets, leaving them to either claim chargebacks on their credit cards or simply out of pocket as ordinary creditors to the failed business. It must have been galling for those who lost money to see the CDs arriving on their own and several cut onto expensive vinyl.

I've picked up a couple of the CDs separately and these have been largely fine. Recording quality is listenable but obviously audience derived. The best one by far of those I've heard is “Live 23rd June 1981 @ Jimmy's Music Club New Orleans”, a great recording of a full-tilt Fall performance from a critical time in their existence (pictured) . There's a palpable tension, possibly due to the return of Burns, brought back not just out of practicalities but also to even the group up a bit, now that Smith was beginning to reconsider the wisdom of having a team of childhood friends for a group. Rehiring Burns was designed to put some grit back into the machine and it worked. Having a full set from this line-up is a worthy addition to the canon and it should be snapped up before it vanishes – this is the only one of the “Set Of Ten” CDs that seems to be thin on the ground. The artwork and credits show the level of care taken over the release; that is – pretty much none. The CD artwork has the 6 piece “Hex” line-up – Karl Burns is the only drummer here as Paul Hanley was at home doing his O Levels. However, the sleeve credits Paul Hanley and not Burns, adding a credit for Duncan Burndred, who was the group's driver at the time. The info had been sourced from the “Slates & Dates” press release which credited Burndred with “the rest” (ie anything other than music and management). Likely pilfered from thefall.org, this missive was retooled for the artwork without any real consideration.

However, it seems there was sufficient demand out there and, cometh the tail end of 2019, cometh another Set of Ten, given the snappy title...”Another Set Of Ten”. They must have been up all fucking night thinking of that one. Again, it has 11 discs. It does get interesting here insofar as most of the tapes come from between 2009 and 2013 suggesting not only that there wasn't much left from the original “Vaults”- destined batch but also making it unclear from whom these tapes were being licenced. They are, of course, under no obligation to discuss such matters publicly and, indeed the current incarnation of Cog Sinister would likely feel aggrieved at having the question asked. They are, after all, a legitimate enterprise.

A quick skwizz at the Discogs page tells you that “Another Set Of Ten” is not a triumph; all the tapes are listed as being audience tapes, one disc has just six songs from the gig and several others are also incomplete and/or mislabelled. The main contributor to the Discogs entry (to whom, hello!) notes that the tracklistings appear to be taken from photographs of setlists uploaded to thefall.org's justly revered and thoroughly sublime gigography but, where the setlist didn't match what was played, no attempt has been made to correct this. They haven't even matched up the content with the tracklistings!!! At time of writing, these ones are just starting to slip into the shops on their own, possibly Covid delayed as you could get them via online retailers for a while. The cover for a Manchester gig from 2009 looked like a sick joke and it was hard not to think similar (albeit at lower pitch) about the inclusion of an infamous Motherwell gig at which MES was completely plastered and Brix had quit the band an hour or so before the show. What's next? Worthing? Brownies?

Yet it is very hard not to be continually tempted. There's some juicy setlists in these discs and the artwork at least has some effort – Pascal LeGras has done a very fine job here and his art certainly gives the right feel to the releases. I'm guessing that was the plan. I’ve got my eye on a few. It’s a disease this, I tell you...

Anyway, one way of the other, 5 of the “Set Of Ten” discs found their way onto vinyl on RSD, courtesy of reissue imprint Let Them Eat Vinyl and all of these are still easy to score, should you wish. The whole Gonzo/Let Them Eat Vinyl hookup is interesting for scholars of who-owns-what in terms of The Fall's catalogue. As above, we know that BMG have the Rough Trade recordings but LTEV's “Grotesque”, issued in 2017, states it is licensed by Sanctuary.

LTEV have also been putting some of the other lesser releases from the catalogue onto vinyl, including 2 mid 90's live albums (Phoenix 1995 and “The Idiot Joy Show” - nothing that was wasn't available for buttons on CD in the early 00s) as well as “Interim”, the demos and live cobble-together that attempted to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in 2004. The latter had never been pressed to vinyl before and with bloody good reason. Yr mileage, as always, may vary.

Whilst not The Fall, acolytes will doubtless want to know that Ed Blaney issued a 2CD edition of “The Train”, containing the full 40-minute “(Part Three)” CD, a similarly lengthed alternate version and a clutch of remixes. Blaney also uploaded a properly touching tribute to Smith on YouTube, including reminiscences with other friends of Smith.

One more part to come, in which we burn the spotlight of shame onto a couple of the worst products ever to have had the name The Fall unwillingly emblazoned upon their sleeves and take a quick look over some of what we know is in the pipeline.

#the fall #mark e smith

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rwby-redux · 4 years

Text

Deconstruction

Worldbuilding: Semblances I

Remember in the Worldbuilding: Overview when I called Semblances magical? Technically speaking, that’s not actually true. The fact that I have to even qualify that statement tells you just how much of a headache RWBY’s magic system—excuse me, pseudo-magic system—is in practice. Unlike the last topic (Aura) where I focused on just one critical flaw, today we’re going to cover as many of those flaws as we can. Given the huge number of talking points we’ll be discussing, Semblances is going to be split into two parts.

You might want to get comfortable; we’re going to be here for a while.

Let’s first start by establishing what, according to canon, a Semblance actually is. If Aura is the manifestation of the soul, then a Semblance is the form that manifestation takes. Broadly speaking, a Semblance is a skill or ability that transcends the normal biological limits of what a person is capable of—a superpower that’s uniquely-tailored to its user. Despite taking on a wide array of forms and functions, all Semblances share six basic traits:

A Semblance draws upon Aura as its source of power. When this fuel source is depleted, a person can no longer use their Semblance, and must wait for their Aura to regenerate before it can be used again.

The specific ability or nature of one’s Semblance is alleged to be an expression of the user’s personality/character/soul.

Overuse of a Semblance can adversely affect a person and cause physical side effects, such as fatigue [1], headaches [2], or fainting [3].

Semblances can interact with Dust in such a way that their skills are augmented, resulting in the temporary acquisition of new subskills or secondary characteristics.

Through training and regular usage, Semblances can gradually become stronger or more advanced.

The intensity of certain emotions, such as stress, panic, despair, or rage, can cause a person to subconsciously activate their Semblance.

Your first reaction when reading this list might’ve been, “Oh, you mean like the Quirks in My Hero Academia.” Now, I’ve never personally watched the show or read the manga, but after briefly consulting the Wiki page I can safely confirm that yes, Semblances are very similar to Quirks. However, given my lack of familiarity with My Hero Academia, I’m going to avoid drawing too many comparisons between the two. This is partly because I don’t want to provide incorrect commentary on a franchise I know little about. The other reason? The longer I read the Wiki page on Quirks, the more embittered I become toward Semblances and the wasted potential they have by comparison. I’m already biased; I don’t need any help in that arena, thanks.

I think the best way to discuss all of the various flaws with Semblances is to break this topic into two parts, and deal with the meta and in-lore aspects separately.

Meta, Production, and Development

When I started doing research for this topic I went on the RWBY Wiki to track down sources and dates, as one typically does when preparing to excavate a salt mine. I knew what a Semblance was, but I decided that, for the sake of empirical evidence, that I needed to have a reference for that definition. (And a good line of defense against potential critics. It’s hard to argue with primary sources.) Fans can give a definition when prompted, but I’m willing to bet most of them couldn’t name the episode where we first got that information. That’s all right; I couldn’t either. In fact, the more I thought about it, the weirder it seemed that I couldn’t pinpoint the exact episode, let alone the volume, where Semblances are first explained. So I did some digging.

Here’s what I found:

The first time Aura is explained on-screen is Volume 1, Episode 06: “The Emerald Forest - Part 1.” This exposition is delivered to us by Pyrrha, whose explanation serves as a learning moment for us, the viewers, and Jaune, the audience-surrogate character.

The first time the word Semblance is mentioned (not explained, mentioned) is Volume 1, Episode 14: “Forever Fall - Part 2.” Take a moment to let that sink in: we’re fourteen episodes into the series, and despite seeing multiple characters use their Semblances on-screen, we still haven’t been told what these powers are. I think some viewers were able to extrapolate what our cast was doing based on a sense of genre-savviness, but that’s really bad. As a writer, your job is to find a way to organically explain the core aspects of your story. I know that CRWBY tried to use Jaune to fulfill this role (but why that ultimately failed to work is a discussion for another day), but even then, it shouldn’t take fourteen episodes to start addressing major worldbuilding elements.

At this point you must be wondering, okay, so if Aura didn’t get its first proper introduction until episode six, and Semblances were only namedropped at episode fourteen, then when were they properly explained? At least somewhere in Volume 1, right?

Would you like to know the answer?

The first time Semblances were formally explained was in World of Remnant, Episode 4: “Aura.” The fourth episode of this spin-off series debuted on November 14th, 2014. The fourth World of Remnant episode aired a month after Volume 2 ended. To give you some context, the very first episode of the main series aired on July 18, 2013, and the first episode of Volume 3 was released on October 24, 2015.

It took twenty-eight episodes, a runtime of 04:26:04, and a full year before we finally had an answer. An answer that was delivered in a spin-off series meant exclusively to supplement crucial worldbuilding and lore.

Do you see how fucking insane that is? How badly do you have to fail at writing to not explain to your audience one of the fundamental aspects of your story? Not only does this not make sense from a writing perspective, but it makes no sense from a development or production standpoint, either. At the time, Kerry Shawcross was an editor for Red vs. Blue Season 9, while Miles Luna was the writer for the Red vs. Blue miniseries Where There's a Will, There's a Wall, and co-writer for Red vs. Blue Season 10. While Monty Oum himself wasn’t necessarily a writer, he was part of a three-man team that together did have a background in writing and editing. (Mind you, neither of them are necessarily good writers, but it’s still better than nothing.)

To reiterate: There were three creative leads working on this project. Three. How is it that none of them, at any point during production, noticed this massive flaw with their story?

I don’t work for Rooster Teeth (obviously), and I’m therefore not privy to any of the decisions that were made behind the scenes. Whether the focus was more on animating RWBY than emphasizing the worldbuilding, whether the lighthearted tone made the team think that exposition wasn’t as important as being entertaining, whether there were deadline crunches and budgeting constraints that limited the quality of the final product.

While we can’t decisively say why this is the case, we can see how these choices had major consequences for RWBY’s plot—not just in retrospect, but going forward as well. Next time in Part 2, we’ll cover topics that focus more on the lore of Semblances than the storytelling nitpicks, and discuss how those oversights impacted the series.

[1] Volume 3, Episode 12: “End of the Beginning.” During Salem’s monologue, Glynda can be seen using her Semblance to try and reassemble a storefront in Vale’s shopping district. Eventually, she tires from overuse of her Semblance, and the building collapses back into debris while Glynda hunches over gasping.

[2] Volume 3, Episode 7: “Beginning of the End.” Immediately after Yang is framed for attacking Mercury, Emerald complains about a headache from casting her Semblance on two people simultaneously.

[3] Volume 5, Episode 14: “Haven’s Fate.” When Yang claims the Relic of Knowledge and returns from the Vault, Emerald conjures an illusion of Salem. Performing her Semblance on nine different people at the same time consumes what little energy she had left, and causes her to pass out. Hazel has to carry her while he and Mercury flee from the battle.

#deconstruction #worldbuilding #writing #semblances

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cerebralcentari · 4 years

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Chapters 5-8

So reading these chapters gave me an entirely different feel. I found myself trying zoom all the way in to read or at least clearly see with detail the different examples/displays of work in the text.

I think my readings made understand the importance of different time periods as it relates to graphic design. It also made me home in more of the different designers and their impact to the world of graphic design.

Very early in the readings of Chapter 5, it discuss typography. The invention of typographic was compared to writing as one of the most important advances in civilization. In the previous post, we see how important writing is and its impact on world. There was also start a change world over with the use of paper. Paper was created by the Chinese and was distributed by the Chinese for a while until other countries found a way to create their own. Along with the spread of paper was the spread of block printing in Europe. Though block printing had made it to Europe, block printing remained popular mostly in China. The importance of printing is evident in chapter 6. Printing is an extension of typography (writing) because like the typography or writing, it stabilized and unified languages. The impact of printing led to revolution because printing is a powerful tool to spread ideas and information. Learning the difference between broadside and broadsheet was interesting because I’m not sure why would anyone would ever only want to use one side of a canvas. Broadsheets were useful announcements of deformed births (which is really messed up. Why is this an announcement? What about the families?),advertisement, the lottery, politics, invasions, disasters, and, of course, religion. :-) The broadsides or broadsheets evolved over time from the folded sheets to some things that we are familiar with today such as pamphlets and newspapers. Chapter 7 details the state of graphic design in the Renaissance period.

The following includes a few of the designers I found to be interesting:

Gutenberg: he was responsible for teaching a secret process for mirror creation; He was responsible for inventing a type mold which allowed him to increase his speed and accuracy;

Erhard Reuwich: Contributed illustrations to the Peregrinationes in Montem Syon (Travels in Mount Zion). Reuwich created illustrations in the form of regional maps, important buildings, and major cities. His contributions made history as the first book to have fold out illustrations.

Albrecht Durer: Is the creator of The Apocalypse and the Rhinoceros. Durer is also a writer and created a book called Underweisung der Messung mit dem

Zirckel und Richtscheyt. This book touch on topics such as linear geometry, two dimensional geometric construction, the application of geometry to architecture, decorating, engineering, geometric solids, linear perspective, mechanical aids, and letterforms. Durer is so awesome, he created grids to assist with drawing and grids are still in use today!

Konrad Sweynheym and Arnold Pannart: created the double alphabet by combining the Roman alphabet with rounded minuscules. These two later designed a full Roman alphabet that is still in use today.

William Caxton: Caxton has a place on this blog because he translated first typographic book in English. :-)

Nicolas Jenson: Talk about perfect timing! This guy capitalized off the death of one person that had a monopoly on printing in Venice (hub). Some of his credits include designing outstanding roman, Greek, and Gothic fonts and published over 150 books. The text provides an example of Jensons publications called Marie virginus secundum consuetudinem romane curie where he displays decorated borders and initial letters reflect illuminated manuscripts.

Erhard Ratdolt: is the creator of the Calendarium by Regiomontanus, second version (that part is important). The Calendarium has sixty diagrams of solar and lunar eclipses. There’s also the three-part mathematical wheel charts. This guy is just awesome for socking it to religion and superstition with science and better help people predict an eclipse.

Francesco da Bologna (Griffo): He had a project called De Aetna. While working on this project, Griffo, produced roman scripts better than Jenson’s work. Griffo’s style was so effective that it remains a model for punch cutters and is still in book text face Bembo today! Griffo also had the brilliant idea to make the ascenders taller to the size of the capitals to provide balance something that the roman font was lacking.

Geoffroy Troy: has a ton of accomplishment that as do the previously mentioned individuals. The contribution that make him stand out from the rest is his introduction to the apostrophe, the accent, and the cedilla. He also created a series titled Horae. This gave Tory influence because of his work, so much so that King Francis named him imprimeur du roi (printer to the king). He is also named the most influential graphic designer of his century.

Oronce Fine: a mathematic professor and graphic artist. He combined his skills in both math and graphic design to illustrate math, geography, and astronomy. Being able to crossover into multiple field, put him on this list.

There were a few events/designs/time periods I found to be interesting as well:

Psalter: The first book that has the printers trademark and imprint, printed date of publication, and colophon.

Rationale Divinorum Officirum: The first book to save space by use of small sized typestyle.

Incunabula period: There were over thirty-five thousand editions-a total of nine million books-were printed.

Rhinoceros: Is a woodcut illustration from a sketch and description sent from Spain. Though the illustration fills the entire frame and it doesn’t have a defined background, I’m actually ok with that. Viewer can instantly forget that they don’t know where the rhino is standing because of the detail in the illustration.

The Apocalypse: (I’m in love this work. I just appreciate the detail considering that the technology that is around today was not available.) Durer earned his renown in Europe because of the volume and depth, light and shadow, texture and surface in this work.

De Natura Stirpium Libri Tres: is work completed by Simon de Colines. This one particularly stood out to me because it emphasized the title by making the rest of the cover busy and leaving the title in a blank space in the center. This is also another one that captures me with all of the details.

Some things that I wanted to take note of particularly about religions impact on graphic design (everything!!!!):

The text speak of how Pope Nicholas V issued a pardon of sins to all Christians who had given money to support the war against Turks.

The text speak of censorship and how difficult it was to control in the 1500′s. The only entities (ever) interested censoring anyone is the church and the state. Pg112 in the text.

See ya next time :-)

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.8

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Summary: Story picks up during season three as the group goes into Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie from the Governor. However, they pick up another prisoner of Woodbury, Emma (O/C). She is a thief who fears friendships after her hard losses. She stays on the move, studying communities from afar and then robbing them blind. She has stayed alive this way for a while until the Governor catches her in the act. Now she finds herself with the group from the prison in a mission to kill the Governor for what he has done to her. She plans on stealing supplies from the prison group after the Governor is killed, but she might be growing a little too close to the groups members, especially one man in particular: Daryl Dixon.

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: This is up late I am sorry guys I just got back from vacation and haven’t been in a good mood to write. Also, I did not edit this well and I just free wrote this for the most part so sorry for mistakes or boring parts. But enjoy Emma actually caring about people and being worried and becoming part of the group.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7

Sometimes I wished I wouldn't wake up. That my body would just decide that I had done enough and let me sleep for the rest of eternity. Not those restless sleeps where you wake up every five seconds from nightmares either, but the kind where you don't feel anything, the kind where your mind shuts off. Not dead exactly but not quite alive either.

Surviving was becoming exhausting. My world had ended many times, even before the dead had started walking the earth. Even though I didn't want death as badly as I had in the past, there was still parts of me that wanted to give up on a daily basis. But today could not be that day, even if I felt like a useless human being when I woke up, drained of all energy.

I pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes, my body aching at the slightest movements. I could hear people rustling around outside of my new room, but I was surprised when I turned my head to the side to see someone was sitting in the floor beside me.

Daryl was leaned against the wall with his head leaned over against the bed railing. He was out cold. The previous day really did a toll on the both of us. We experienced the death of someone we both cared about. Even though I hadn't known Daryl for more than a week, we had seen each other at pretty vulnerable states. We went through some shit together and somehow it made it feel like we had known each other for an eternity.

It gave me a strange warm feeling to think about it–how we were growing closer and closer to each other. I never thought I would feel comfortable with another human again, but he was different. We were not friends really. We hated each other too much to be friends. He talked some real shit to me sometimes, no doubt, and I always pushed back at him, but as I looked at him sitting there in a deep sleep, I could almost imagine that maybe in another world we could have been friends. We might’ve gotten along if circumstances were different and I wasn’t so afraid of getting hurt again and again.

But Daryl would be taken from me eventually. So would everyone else. In the end I would be alone again whether I liked it or not, that was just how it was meant to be. Good thing for me was that I would be leaving all of them before I got to witness the inevitable moment when the Walkers would rip into them all. I couldn’t make myself stick around them when I knew that would happen.

I took a deep breath, my eyes still on the sleeping Daryl. I pushed all thoughts of any kind of friendship that I longed for from my mind. I needed to wake him up before my mind wandered any further.

I pulled the pillow out from under my head with a groan and chucked it at him, waking him with a start. "What the hell are you still doing here?" I asked groggily.

He grabbed the pillow and tossed it back at me with an annoyed grunt and a familiar scowl. "Told Hershel I'd watch ya through the night. Ya lost a lot of blood."

"I feel like shit," I mumbled into my arm that I let lay across my face, blocking out the light that made my head pound.

"Ya ain't lookin' so hot either," he grumbled and pushed himself to his feet with a rare smirk.

I didn't get the chance to retort before Beth came in holding baby Judith in her arms. She looked between me and Daryl while she rocked the baby gently. "Rick says it's time to go. We need to be ready."

I sat up in the bed, which I immediately regreted. My head whirled around and Daryl reached a hand out to steady me, but he stopped in his tracks at my glare. I needed to do this on my own, and thank God he understood and respected that. I used the bed to pull myself to my feet and stabilize me, but I still felt Daryl close by me incase I would need him, which I only found slightly annoying.

I hissed through my teeth at the soreness in my thigh from the bullet wound. Looking at Beth I asked, "What's going on?"

"We've made a plan for how to deal with the Governor. You're too injured to fight so you'll be with me and Judith, Carl, and Daddy."

I snapped my head around to look at Daryl accusingly. I was not about to sit by while they all fought the Governor. I turned a little too fast to face Daryl, who crossed his arms and got ready for the inevitable argument. "I'm fighting with you guy–"

"Nah," he said before I even finished my sentence.

"I am too. The only reason I am here is to make sure the Governor dies and you're fucking crazy if you think I am going to sit this one out."

"We can take care of it. I promise. Rick says it's best if you go with Hershel. You know you aren't in any condition to fight."

"Rick doesn't know what's best for me. I do."

Daryl was hovering over me, intoxicatingly close. He was trying to scare me into listening to him again, but there was no fucking way. "Why do you need to do this? I said we can take care of it." His voice grew more angry with every word.

I shook with the want for him to understand, but I was not willing to open up to people about my reasoning. No matter how comfortable I felt talking to Daryl now, I couldn't bring myself to talk about it entirely.

"You know what he did to me," I shouted in his face desperately. "I had to spend weeks in a little room not knowing who the fuck was going to come through the door or what the fuck they were planning to do with me. You didn't have to go through that. I would've rather him kill me than put me through what he did, Daryl." My voice dropped to a low volume. "So, yeah, I need to do this."

Daryl's eyes were full of a hate I had never seen in him before. I thought and felt many things when I was around Daryl, but fear was never one of those thoughts. It was now. He looked so wound up in a dark and dangerous emotion that it scared me to the core.

I knew the hate he wore plainly on his face wasn't towards me though, it was all for the Governor. His furry practically rolled off of him in waves. I'm sure he assumed what the Governor had done to me, I basically told everyone outright when Andrea first showed up. I can still see that offended look on her face when I stated that I'd fucked her precious little boyfriend too. But the way I had phrased it might've made it look like I was just trying to get under Andreas skin, which was partially true.

I never really said I unwillingly fucked him though, but I think most of them got the picture. Daryl must have too judging by the look he was sporting now. I could tell he would rip the Governor apart if he got the chance. The almost inaudible growl that he released with every heavy tempered breath he took told me as much. He looked deep into my eyes with a sort of understanding and something that was extremely protective.

I felt that damn warm feeling spread inside of me again at that thought. I spent my entire life being the protector of my mother or my brother or even friends. I never had someone to look after me and make sure that I was always safe. It felt different to have Daryl actually care about me. A good kind of different.

"Let me do this, Daryl," I whispered. It was all much more than being hurt physically. It was about the things the Governor did that would never be healed. He was in my head constantly now. I spent my life being fearless, but now he paralyzed me with it. I wanted to think I couldn't be broken. I wanted to be strong enough to not need this revenge, but I'm not.

"Ya can't even stand upright," he motioned to me leaning up against the bed.

I silently pleaded with my eyes. I had to do this. I had to contribute to the fight.

"Fine." I didn't realize we were so close, but when he spoke I could feel his breath blow softly against my skin.

Beth looked on wordlessly still at the doorway. The baby let out a cry and she turned to leave just as Glenn came to rush us along.

Daryl went to follow Beth out, but stopped next to Glenn. "She's stayin' with us," he informed him with a jerk of his head in my direction.

Glenn looked at me and fumbled with his words. "Bu– Rick said–"

"She's stayin' with us," Daryl said. His tone let Glenn know that that was the end of the discussion.

Glenn rolled his eyes as Daryl went out of sight to get ready for the Governor. "Fine," Glenn sighed out. "Here." He handed me my bowie knife that I stuck into my belt along with a handgun. The rifle he handed me next I slung over my shoulder with a strap, ignoring how much it actually weighted me down.

I looked down at myself to notice I was still covered in my own blood with a mixture of what I assume to be Merle's blood. I swallowed hard at the memory. I still had on the baggy tank-top with the bottom half of it torn away. My jeans were caked in mud and thick red blood from my injury, not to mention that Hershel had cut away the bottom half of my jeans on the injured leg.

Daryl wasn't kidding when he said I wasn't looking so hot. I bet I looked like a bulldozer had run me over. It had been ages since I had looked in a mirror. I had never found the urge before to check what I looked like, but a small part of me was curious about how I had changed since I last saw myself.

"Come on. Everyone is about ready."

I followed Glenn out of the prison with more difficulty than I would like to admit. I didn't let all of my weight rest on my injured leg, but instead hopped along using the wall as a sort of crutch.

The cars outside were being loaded up with all of the supplies that we had, emptying out the prison entirely.

I heard Daryl talking to Carol as he cleaned his motorcycle. "Merle ain't ever done anything like that in his hole life," he said to her, still reminiscing on his older brother's death.

She grinned at him in a comforting way. "He gave us a chance."

I took a deep breath. I really hope he did give us a chance. I was nervous all the way to where Glenn told me to hide out on the catwalk with Carol.

The plan was pretty simple, the Governor would come rolling in shooting and reeking havoc. We needed to stay quiet until he was done waisting his ammo, thinking we would be inside. Once they entered the prison and saw that no one was there, Daryl would sound off the prison alarm. That was when the rest of us come out from hiding and fire at them while they struggle to fight off the Walkers that would be chasing them out of the tombs.

The plan was pretty good, but I still felt unsure. I gripped my rifle tightly, knowing that if things went south I was in no condition to successfully flee from the scene. I would be stuck here, but I tried not to think too much on it as bent down in my position behind metal sheeting that lined the fences.

It felt like an eternity of silence before the Governor pulled up with multiple cars. Explosions went up in seconds with the guard tower being the first to go. Thousands of gun shots rang out, fueling my adrenaline. Men started shouting and loading into the prison with military tactic. My hands grew sweatier every second just waiting for the signal to fire.

The Governor walked calmly up to the prison doors, his gun in hand. I wanted nothing more than to shoot through his eyepatch and kill him once and for all. But, I knew I had to be patient. I reluctantly sat by and watched him go inside the prison block after his men.

They were in there for a good while when the alarms finally started going off. Shouts and smoke soon filled the inside and outside of the prison. Glenn and Maggie fired rapidly at the ones retreating from the Walker infested tombs. I popped up from my place and took a few shots at them as well. Several shots came back at me in return, but I was quick enough to take cover, the bullets pining off of the metal protection.

I risked coming up several more times, each moment I spent looking for only one person, the Governor. Finally I saw him rushing out of the smoking prison. As if sensing me, his head sharply turned in my direction, his attention falling upon only me. His glower was blood curdling. I'm sure he was surprised to see me alive after he left Merle to kill me, but he should know by now I was hard to keep dead. I caused him a lot of trouble since he's known me, and the anger that he shook with told me he was going to get me back. I hoped my look told him the same thing.

Before long all the men retreated to their cars and drove off in a hurry, coming to the conclusion that they could not beat us after our ambush. The alarms were shut off and while everyone raced to the gate to watch them go, I hobbled up the rear.

"We should go after them," Michonne was saying as I approached the group.

"We should finish it," Daryl agreed.

"It is finished. Didn't you see them hightail it outta here?" Maggie said breathlessly.

"They could regroup," Michonne argued.

"He's not gonna stop." Glenn bit his lip and stared out in the direction they retreated to.

"You're right. We can't keep living like this," Carol agreed.

"So we take the fight back to Woodbury," Maggie said hypothetically. "We barely made it back last time."

My mind shot to the day she was referring to; the day they saved me. I was a complete stranger and the first person to look at me like I wasn't a piece of trash had been Daryl. He knew my pain of feeling worthless, I know that now. He could have shot and killed me back then like I wanted him to do, but he didn't. He was looking out for me then like he was now. What a fucking considerable man.

"I don't care," Daryl said as he shifted from one foot to the other, never able to stand still while there was a fight to be fought. When he looked at me I could tell he really didn't care if he made it back. He was out for blood. He was hungry for that Governor's head to be served to me on a platter and he would make that happen if it killed him.

That's why I couldn't let him do it. Another reason I always kept distant from people was so they wouldn't care about me either. But you don't get to pick who cares about you in this world. I didn't want anyone to risk anything for me, and this pain in the ass was going to do it anyway despite my efforts.

While Rick went inside we started getting a truck ready for the trip to Woodbury, and we began discussing who exactly would be going on the trip.

"We're staying," Glenn said matter of factly. "We don't know where the Governor is. If he comes back, we will hold him off."

"You ain't goin' either," Daryl said to me from across the truck. I opened my mouth to protest but he held up his hand to stop me from arguing. "You can barely walk. You ain't goin'."

I huffed but agreed. I couldn't be stupid enough to think I was able to march into battle with them. "Fine. But stop being blinded by your fucking temper and think for a minute."

He turned to face me defensively with his hands holding onto his crossbow's strap that was around his shoulder. "The hell you mean?"

"I can see it in you. I can see you would do anything to get back at the Governor. But don't let that cloud your judgment and get people killed. Okay? If it's too dangerous you better haul ass back here in a second. Don't you dare let you or any of them get hurt because you're too big of a stubborn ass to stop yourself from being reckless."

Why the fuck did I care so much about him? Why couldn't I just turn off my damn emotions? It was getting way out of hand. I wanted so so badly not to care about any of them and I was even a dick to them because I didn't want to get attached. But here I fucking was, a little bitch who would loose my fucking mind if any of these people got hurt. I turned out liking everyone in the group a shit ton more than I originally planned. I caught feelings for all of them like a damn amateur.

He scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. "We ain't gonna get killed." He said it with so much confidence and I could tell he really thought that. But it could happen and I would be broken again if it did.

"Promise me," I breathed so quietly I wasn't sure he'd heard me.

"We have to go after him today, Em. Nothin's gonna happen–"

He really wasn't understanding how much I fucking meant what I said, was he.

I shoved at his chest with both my hands and the serious look on his face washed over him. "I fucking mean it, Daryl. Fuck the Governor. We can get him another day if we need to. Just don't be stupid on this trip cause I can't go and make sure of that myself."

His eyes searched mine and he finally took my pleads to heart. His brow had drawn together as his eyes grew soft. I thought I would drown in them he looked at me so intently. Then he shook himself out of his stupor with one long blink.

"I promise. Okay? Happy now?"

I bit the inside of my cheek nervously. I would have to be happy enough. After all my time of worrying about the Governor being killed, it didn't seem as important right now. Currently, all that mattered was that everyone, not just Daryl, came back safe. I hadn't felt this panicked worry for people in a long time. And I didn't miss it.

"So," Daryl peeled his eyes from me to look at Rick and Michonne who had thankfully been too distracted to listen to our conversation. I couldn't have everyone knowing I gave a shit about them just yet.

"Just the three of us?" Rick and Michonne nodded to Daryl as he spoke, waiting for his protest or doubts to be verbalized. They weren't. He simply gripped his weapon tighter. "All right," he said with a confidence that no one who was going to fight an entire army with three people should've had.

I leaned my weight onto my uninjured leg and looked at him sling his leg over his motorcycle. It took everything in me to stand still and not hop in the truck with Michonne and Rick. I had never listened to Daryl when he told me what to do before, but if I wanted him to take what I had said seriously, I needed to do the same.

Waiting for them to come back took an excruciatingly long time. I sat inside while Maggie and Glenn watched the perimeter of the prison gates. Beth let me feed baby Judith, which I did awkwardly did. I hadn't held a baby since my little brother was born, but that was many many years ago, and even then it wasn't my thing to care for them well.

Carl was down in the dumps after Rick had given him a talking to about how he had shot a kid in the woods during the attack. I wasn't in the situation that Carl was in, so I had no room to judge the kid or tell him what I thought was right and wrong. Carl was a tough kid and if anything put his sister in danger he would eliminate it. Hershel seemed to think it was unnecessary to shoot the boy.

I didn't want to involve myself in any way, but I did my best to make Carl at least grin at how terribly out of place I looked with Judith. I rocked her around and she cooed and laughed loudly. Carl loved when his baby sister was happy, so he couldn't help but join in on the fun of making her giggle.

"They're back," Carol said, squinting out of the window. My heartbeat quickened uncontrollably. "Looks like hey brought company."

I stood with Judith on my hip and frowned out the window to see what the hell she meant by company.

I felt myself release the breath that I did not know I was holding when my eyes landed on Daryl riding at the front on his motorcycle with Michonne driving the truck up behind him. Rick, however, had acquired a new ride: a large school bus. The bus was bursting with new faces belonging to people of all ages and sizes.

I looked down at Carl who was fuming at the sight of the newcomers. "How could he bring these people here? We don't know them," he gritted out through his teeth.

"Where the hell did they come from? Woodbury?"

It just didn't make sense in my head that Rick would be stupid enough to take in all of these people, especially after he had been so cautious abut strangers before.

I put my hand on Carl's shoulder and pulled him to the door. "Let's go find out."

Carl followed close behind me with heavy steps, as did Beth and Carol. We held our guns, but didn't look willing to fire on them. Daryl met my questioning gaze but quickly looked away with an unreadable expression, as per fucking usual.

Finding that he wouldn't be giving me any explanation, I turned to Rick next, who was busy trying to make the strangers feel at home.

"What the hell is going on?" I whispered to him as he took Judith from my arms and gave her a big kiss.

"The Governor fired on his own people. All the soldiers he had are dead. These people wouldn't survive on their own after the sheltering they've had. We have to help this world grow."

I looked at them all with disgust. "What about the Governor? Did you find him?"

Rick set his jaw and shook his head, disappointed. "Nah, we couldn't find him. He's either dead somewhere or he ran off to find a new group to terrorize."

My stomach churned at the thought of him still out there able to do whatever he wants to whoever he wants. I blinked and shuddered at the thought.

"Help these people find a place to settle." He noticed my distrustful glances in their direction. "We took you in when you were a stranger," he reminded me with the slight upturn at the corners of his mouth. "Time you do the same."

I huffed as he walked away. How could he expect me to do that? I spent months building up an unfair hate for these people. I hated Woodbury, and thus them, by association. It was ridiculous, I know, but I couldn’t break that thought process just like that. It would take time convincing myself that these people were innocent in reality. They were useless weak people and they didn’t know any better about what the Governor was doing back in Woodbury. Plus, he probably killed or hurt some of their families too. They deserved to feel safe again and even if they were clueless about the real world now, we had to take them in under our wing.

So, I put on a my best fake smile as people that looked scared and wary got off of the bus. I could do this. Beth and I led everyone to their own cell rooms and did what we could to make them feel liked they belonged. I went through introducing myself a dozen fucking times. Eventually my face hurt from the constant smile plastered on it and my ears buzzed with voices of new residents as they spewed out names that I would never remember.

I had never wanted to leave this group more than right now. Living with so many people was something I was not used to. Living with anyone at all was not something I was used to. But I knew I couldn't possibly try to go out on my own with my leg still fucked and besides, I said I was leaving after the Governor was dead, and I had a sick feeling he was not.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22

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1-1snailxd-art · 5 years

Text

Libraries are for Meetings

Master List ----- Chapter 5

Chapter 6 - The art of living in a library

Warnings: there is some threats/blackmail made towards Virgil

Summary: Despite the unusual evening, Virgil's morning is very routine as he continues his life as normal. Logan and Patton, on the other hand, are finding out what it is like to be separated from your closest friend when you need them the most. (Lots of Royality and platonic Logicality energy)

Note: reading on mobile can remove the paragraphing. Use desktop site or visit my Ao3 page if it bothers you as much as it bothers me.

EDIT: Art by @the-pastel-peach has been added to this chapter. Pass your appreciation to them. Please don’t repost the art anywhere (with or without credit). If you want to share the art, reblog this post.

______________________________

Virgil’s alarm sounded at 4am, the screen barely lighting the reading area as he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

“Do correct me if I am wrong, but I think you are in a dark place too, Virgil.”

Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his oily hair as Logan’s voice replayed in his mind.

“Should you need a guide to find your path again, I would be happy to provide the service.”

Groaning, Virgil finally silenced his alarm and set about his morning routine. Boil water. Pack up makeshift bed into duffel. Make coffee and instant noodles (beggars can’t be choosers). Use kitchen sink to wash hair and face, before moving on to the small bathroom for a half-arsed attempt at bathing (a washcloth and baby wipes proved effective between Virgil’s stints at a motel).

He had just finished tidying the kitchen when his next alarm sounded for 5am. Grabbing his duffel and backpack, Virgil disarmed the alarm before setting it to rearm as he left. His duffel was heavier today as he walked in the morning breeze to the laundromat. Routines like these helped Virgil immensely; they made him feel normal, despite his circumstances. Not to mention, the laundromat was a warm sheltered place he could work in until the hour became more reasonable.

*************

The apartment was too quiet when Logan’s alarm went off. To say he woke up would be an insult, as he barely managed to get a wink of sleep all night. The apartment felt cold and empty as he shuffled out to the kitchen in his dressing gown and placed a cup under the coffee maker. Normally, at this time, music would be flooding the apartment and Patton would be heard singing from the bathroom while Logan prepared breakfast prior to going out jogging. Without Patton, Logan couldn’t bring himself to turn on the stereo, cook his usual breakfast or even jog. Had he not been so sleep deprived, Logan might have realised how mentally unhealthy his choices were; but sitting at the table with a cup of black coffee and buttered toast, he was just a shell of his normal self.

Despite the change in routine, Logan still managed to get himself ready for the day and was about to leave for work when his phone chimed in his pocket. Seeing Patton’s name and face on the lit screen left Logan feeling confused overall. Yes, he missed having his friend around, but seeing his face reignited his frustration. It was the perfect form of emotional torture, and Logan took his time walking to his car as he considered how to respond to Patton’s message.

*************

On the other side of town, Patton was waking up in Roman’s arms. It was different. His last boyfriend had been too rigid for Patton’s liking, and waking up with Roman was different to the more platonic bed sharing he had had with Logan and Jason.

In that moment, Roman had one arm carefully laid across Patton’s middle and the other was tucked neatly under his pillow. Patton could feel his breath against the back of his head, soft and rhythmic. Though he was comfortable and happy, Patton could still feel the ache in his heart for Logan and he questioned how his friend was doing.

Carefully reaching out to the side table, Patton slid his phone and glasses down next to him and adjusted the phones brightness settings before angling it toward his face.

No new messages

Nibbling at his bottom lip, Patton looked at the time and considered whether to message Logan or leave him alone. As time ticked on, he finally built up the courage to send a message.

Pats: morning Logan.

Pats: im sorry again for yesterday.

Pats: I hope you slept ok.

LogieBear: *seen*

Patton held his breath as he watched the ellipsis appear and disappear with no new messages coming through. Roman stirred behind him, yawning and releasing his partner as he combed his fingers through his hair.

“Morning P.B.”

Propping himself up, Roman could see the screen that held Patton’s attention. Anger started to bubble in his gut as the seconds dragged on. He was just about to grab the phone when messages finally started coming through, and Patton’s body relaxed against him again.

LogieBear: morning Patton. Thank you for your message and apology. As I said yesterday, I forgive you.

LogieBear: but I would still like some space today if possible.

Roman lent forward, pulling Patton closer towards his chest; fearing he was about to see Patton break again.

LogieBear: Do not forget to eat today. Take care of yourself. I love you.

To Roman’s relief, Patton giggled and quickly typed a response.

Pats: I 💜 you too

LogieBear: Have a good day Patton (and Roman)

“Oh, pass me the phone.”

Roman reached around to take the phone from Patton’s hands, using the other hand to pull the hood of the onesie over Patton’s head.

“Ha-ha-Hey,” Patton giggled, “what are you do-oo-ing?”

“Just letting Logan know what he is missing out on.”

Roman quickly snapped a picture of the pair; Patton peeking out from his hood and Roman pulling his usual selfie face with his tussled hair. Yanking the hood down over Patton’s eyes again, Roman sent the photo and a message for Logan.

Pats: *image sent*

(art by @the-pastel-peach - Please don’t repost)

Pats: luv ya specs

As Patton finally escaped Roman’s arms and hood, he grabbed at his phone and groaned.

“You are such a tease, Roman.”

The phone chimed as Logan’s reply came through and Patton hid his phone.

“What did he say? Come on P.B, share with the class.” Roman rolled onto his back, pulling Patton down so his head was laying on his chest.

LogieBear: I will be sure to provide you with this when I see you next, Roman. Clearly you require it.

LogieBear: *image sent*

Patton held his phone with his finger on the lock button as Roman took in the image of Logan with the book ‘Talking for Dummies’ in front of half of his face.

“Oh no-“ Patton quickly locked his phone as Roman reached out for it; now laughing hysterically. “Why does he even have that in his car?”

“We-we fff-ff-found it,” Patton was struggling to speak through his laughter. “For y-oooo.”

“Oh, is that how it is, is it?”

Roman grabbed Patton, tickling his sides and causing his laughter to increase in volume.

Katie started bashing on the door as the two continued their childish game.

“Would you two keep it down or cut it out! The third party is uncomfortable.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, it’s PG in here!” Roman called back.

“Oh, well if that is the case,” The door swung open and Katie threw two white paper bags at the pair. “Breakfast is served.”

“Thank you, Katie!” Patton beamed as he sat up and peered at the pastry inside the bag.

“Gotta make sure my boys eat.” The smile dropped from Katie’s face suddenly, as she fixed Roman with a stern look and pointed finger. “You need to get your butt into gear today. You have class in an hour and work at 12. Don’t. Be. Late. I’m not covering for you again, got it?”

Roman nodded, pastry already in his mouth, “-ot it.”

“And you are cooking dinner tonight, Roman; no takeout.”

“I’ll make sure he gets everything done. You can count on me, Kaaaatieeee.”

Katie smiled at Patton’s attempt to rhyme. “Thanks, Patty Bear. Hopefully your influence will rub off on Roman eventually.”

“Not if my influence rubs off on him first,” Roman joked, rubbing his shoulder against Patton.

“Ew. Mind. Gutter. I’m out.” Katie turned to leave, “catch you later, boys.”

“Bye Katie!”

“Later bitch- I mean witch.” Patton gave Roman a disapproving look and elbowed his side. “I mean I love yooou…happy?”

“Very,” He kissed Roman’s cheek before climbing out of the bed and heading for the bathroom.

Roman lent over to his other side table and grabbed his phone to find a new message from Logan.

Specs: thank you for helping Patton through this. I know the timing isn’t great.

Princey: don’t stress over it, Logan. Take all the time you need. We’re ok.

Specs: thank you Roman. I will see you soon enough.

Princey: C ya

Specs: 🤦

Roman shook his head; regretting the day he showed Logan the face palm emoji. To that day, it was the only emoji they could get the man to use on a regular basis. He knew how much the other hated text speech and took great joy in ensuring their messaged conversations had some form of grammar or spelling error. He didn’t have a chance to continue to mock the other, as Patton came back in and held his arms out.

“Time to get up, my prince. I promised the queen you wouldn’t be late today.”

“Ah, yes,” Roman accepted Patton’s hands and climbed out of bed, “and we wouldn’t want to upset the queen of hearts or it would be off with our heads.”

Patton giggled and graced Roman with a gentle kiss on his lips; pulling away when Roman started to embrace him. “Get ready for class now, Roman.”

“Awwwww,” He whined, pouting and dropping his arms dramatically.

“If you are going to get greedy, I might have to sleep in the spare bed next time.” Roman crossed his arms and continued to pout. “Off you go, kiddo.”

Roman played up his childish behaviour as he grabbed his clothes and headed into the bathroom to shower. Patton glanced around the room, still in the onesie. Once he heard the shower turn on, he set to work tidying the room and found some of Roman’s clothes that he could borrow for the morning.

*************

The sun was warm against Virgil’s freshly washed hoodie, as he laid on the grass in the park; duffel acting as a perfect pillow for him to lay on. It wasn’t often that the weather was right for moments of bliss like this, and Virgil wasn’t one to miss an opportunity to get reacquainted with vitamin D. Unfortunately, his moment of reprieve was short lived as his phone chimed with alerts.

Email - funds successfully transferred from acc629 to …

Email - Account Alert: available balance below $50…

New message - Ben: Hey Asshole, your 20 short o…

‘There goes my day.’ Virgil thought, sitting up and pulling his notebook out of his backpack.

Logging in to the banking app on his phone, Virgil started assessing his limited money flow. His pay from the library was the only constant influx of funds he had, and he had it carefully split to save towards paying his phone bill and paying Ben and his aunt. Any money he made from repairs, was also split between those three goals and he got whatever was left.

Carefully analysing his notes, he knew money was tighter that fortnight, but he was certain that the correct amount had been sent to Ben.

Ben: Hey Asshole, your 20 short on your payment. Pay up

Virgil: I just checked my accounts and everything looks fine on my end.

Ben: you forgot about interest bitch

Virgil: that wasn’t part of our original agreement

Ben: I changed my mind

Virgil: you can’t do that. That’s not fair.

Ben: I don’t give a shit about fair. You should have thought about that before you punched me.

Virgil: I can’t afford an extra $20. I’m barely surviving as it is.

Ben: not my problem, unless you need me to come and have a chat at that little library of yours.

Virgil’s blood chilled at the thought. He wasn’t sure of Ben’s full intentions. Was he implying that he would tell Katie who he was? Would he come and damage the library? Would he hurt Katie?

It wasn’t worth the risk and he watched his tiny $30 drop to $15 as he transferred some money to Ben.

Virgil: that’s all I can do right now. Give me a day or so and I’ll send you the other 5.

Ben: you better.

$15 wasn’t an ideal, amount at all. The $30 was going to be hard enough, but he could have at least had one day in the comfort and safety of a $10 motel without worry. $15 would barely get him extra food, or even extra supplies to fix anything. Not to mention none of his former ‘friends’ had responded to his requests to stay over for at least a night. That left his options for the weekend as either, use the library or spend it on the streets.

With those thoughts in his mind, Virgil packed up and left the park. He had a new daily plan in mind; drop duffel off at library, revisit local businesses to check on work availability, return to the library to test his gaming system rebuild. While he walked, Virgil searched all the University social pages to see if anyone was seeking computer support. All social anxieties had to be pushed aside; he didn’t have the luxury of dwelling on things like that now.

*************

Logan sat at the pet store counter, scribbling notes as he completed his reading assignment for the day. He had finished restocking the shelves 15 minutes prior and wasn’t in the mood for organising anymore of the store. The sound of the doors sliding open had him quickly shutting his books and putting on his best customer service face. He didn’t need it though as Roman appeared at the counter.

“Looking good, Roman ,” he grinned as the other approached in a stained subway uniform.

“Hilarious,” he held out a bag, “want a sandwich? Or 3?”

“What’s wrong with them,” his question was all in jest; Logan knew Roman wasn’t the sort to pull harmful pranks. He gladly pulled out a sandwich though, as Roman hoisted himself up to sit on the counter.

“So, get this, I added the wrong slices of tomato to one, the other had too much lettuce, and - and- the final one,” Roman was holding his arms out like it was the most dramatic thing that had ever happened to him. “She asked for olives, then suddenly remembered she didn’t like our olives, and I couldn’t just pick them off because they had already ‘tainted’ her sandwich.”

Logan smirked as Roman sighed and started to eat. “Sounds like it was a busy day for a poor, misunderstood, sandwich artist.”

“Take pity on me, Logan. The world is unforgiving and will never understand me.”

Logan rolled his eyes as Roman bent over backwards and draped his arm across his forehead.

“I don’t even understand you.”

“My point exactly,” sitting up, Roman readjusted himself on the counter so he could eat more easily. “So, what is happening?”

“I’m eating a sandwich with a drama queen, while I wait for my shift to end.”

“Wow, I couldn’t see that with my own eyes. Seriously, spill.”

Logan sighed and put his sandwich down, wiping his hands on a napkin.

“Virgil is working on saving more of my files, I’m looking at getting a second-hand laptop, and Julie is making a cake for the anniversary.”

“Nice dark ending there,” Roman softened as he looked at Logan, “I was ignoring that invitation, too.”

“I understand why she wants to do it, but I…” Logan screwed up his face as he tried to find the right words, “I’m not sure I’m ready to turn the anniversary into some weird … party of sorts.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think it’s going to be all cake and karaoke. I’m pretty sure Julie just wants everyone to come together again.”

“I guess…I can see your reasoning. You are much smarter than you look, Roman.”

“I’m not sure if that was meant to be an insult, but I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

The store doors slid open and Roman quickly jumped off the counter as customers entered. Logan wrapped up his sandwich, and Roman quickly did the same.

“I should get this one to Patton, he’s been avoiding food again.”

Logan paused and looked sadly at the ground as he stepped around the counter, “I hadn’t noticed. I guess I’m probably not helping either.”

“Don’t worry about it, Logan.” Roman roughly pulled Logan into a hug; Logan keeping his hands down by his sides. “Just, don’t forget to take care of yourself. All jokes aside, I care about you too.”

Squeezing his eyes shut to suppress tears, Logan returned the hug. “Same to you, Roman. Same to you.”

Separating, Roman headed out the door with his bag of sandwiches while Logan headed over to check on the customers in the store. The pair were only just beginning to explore the boundaries of their friendship; especially since he and Patton had started officially dating. Not that Logan cared to admit it, but Roman was maturing from the brat of a boy he had first met six years ago.

*************

Katie strode over to Virgil's self-proclaimed office, using the master keycard to gain entry, and found Virgil groaning with his forehead on the desk.

"Tough day," Katie enquired, causing Virgil to jolt upright in his chair.

"Jeez, Reels, way to scare a guy out of his skin."

"Well 'a guy' deserves it for ghosting my messages all day," Katie perched herself on the edge of the desk and looked down at Virgil with her arms folded across her chest. "Where's my recap on the evenings events?"

"Why don't you ask, Logan." Virgil grumbled, tapping a few keys on his keyboard to activate a new program, "he's your friend."

"Ouch. I thought we were friends too." Virgil shrugged and Katie shoved his shoulder, "don't be like that, Sparks. Come on. Talk to me. What's going on? What did that nerdy idiot do?"

Sighing, Virgil lent back and ran his fingers thoughtfully through his hair.

"The, as you put it, 'nerdy idiot' did nothing wrong."

"So, what's with the sour puss look today then?"

Shaking his head, it took all of Virgil's self-control to not start crying on the spot. "I may have overreacted to something Logan said aaaand I'm kind of regretting it now. There. Happy?"

"Hardly."

"Gah!” Virgil threw his hands in the air, causing Katie to roll her eyes at the overly dramatic expression. “What else do you want? If you want a play by play, you're not getting it from me. Go talk to Logan."

"Why don't you?"

"Wha - I - you-" Katie smirked, raising a knowing brow as Virgil stumbled over his words. Virgil frowned as he took in Katie’s expression. "I hate you right now."

"Oh, I know." She mused, sliding off the desk. "Don't hide from everything, Virgil. You're right, I'm not going to get a play by play of last night, and nor do I want it."

"So, what is it that you want then?" Virgil was genuinely interested in Katie's response and couldn't hide the intrigue from his voice.

"Honestly, I want to see both of you stepping outside of your work zones. You spend so much time locked in here Virgil, and you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get Logan out of his study hole. It was nice to see my two workaholics’ go out into the wild."

"I can't see that becoming a regular thing, Reels." Lowering his head, Virgil tried to forget how nice it was to be out with Logan: despite his anxieties throughout the evening.

"Says who?" Virgil looked up to respond, but Katie cut him off. "It was your first time meeting each other, and honestly, it wasn't under the best circumstances. Don't let those first impressions be your only impressions. Take a chance, Virgil." Katie walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up through his lengthy bangs. "I took a chance on you and I am yet to regret that decision."

"Fine."

A small smile pulled at Virgil’s cheeks as he realised just how highly Katie thought of him. The moment was short lived though, as he remembered he was abusing her trust.

"That's a good lad. So, what are you gonna do?" Suddenly sitting back on the desk, Katie propped her chin up by resting her elbow on her knee.

"Well...um..." Virgil glanced around as he thought, eyes landing on a USB that ignited his memory. "I still haven’t returned the files I managed to salvage."

"Perfect," Katie exclaimed so loudly that Virgil jumped at the sound. "Now, you have some options for Thursday's. Logan doesn't have class on Thursday, so he works at the pet store from 8 until 1, then he would go to the labs and study, and then he usually heads to the university track field around 4."

"Jeez, stalker much." Virgil was slightly concerned with the fact that Katie had Logan's whole routine memorised.

Katie simply shrugged, "I keep tabs on where my boys are. When I don't..." Katie's expression saddened so fast, Virgil's heart skipped a beat. "...bad things happen."

_______________________________

End Note

Soooo, I have to go back to work next week 😭 I got so much story planning done over the past 3 weeks. I'm going to miss having so much creative freedom. If things get slow, it's because work started badly (sorry in advance). If anything does happen, I'll be sure to put it on Tumblr.

Next time: Logan's nightmares. Does Virgil make a friend? More platonic logicality. Nice feelings, but dark thoughts.

EDIT: I do hope you enjoyed the art. It was a lot of fun to work with the-pastel-peach to bring that scene to life.

UPDATE: again, please don’t repost the art by Peach. Reblog this post. Respect the artist and give her some love 💜🐌

_____________________________

Chapter 7 — Master List

What else have I done:

The Perfect Ring (oneshot - analogical proposal)

You Promised (oneshot - prinxiety angst/injury/near death)

Sides of a Hero (Completed Fic - sides are fusions of impulses and aspects of Thomas. Virgil has a depressing past that he is forced to face thanks to Deceit and Rage. Was canon compliant at the time of completion)

The Shield to your Sword (WIP - A fantasy/magic au - Prinxiety (Royal Roman and orphan Virgil - they’ll admit to their love eventually), Virgil angst, non binary, healer Logan, *spoiler* Patton)

Check out my other blog for random fandom reblogs and stuff @snail-giggles

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lizabethstucker · 4 years

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The SFWA Grand Masters,Vol. 1

Edited by Frederik Pohl

Pohl has selected eighteen short stories and novellas written by the first five Grand Masters ever selected by the Science Fiction Writers of America: Robert A. Heinlein, Jack Williamson, Clifford D. Simak, L. Sprague de Camp, and Fritz Leiber. A great debt is owed to Jerry Pournelle for this recognition of the best of the best and to Frederik Pohl for both introducing and reintroducing me to these authors in one handy volume. Actually, in three volumes as I know there is one more to be searched out in the interlibrary world.

Thanks to my library’s willingness to go out of state, I can read the first volume in this series, having started off 2020 with Volume Two. Thank you also to the Woodridge Public Library in Woodridge, Illinois. Now I need to find the third volume. 4 out of 5

We start out with Robert A. Heinlein. I can still remember the first Heinlein that I read, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. My memory is so clear that I can recall to this day seeing it on the library shelf when I was working through a list of Golden Age writers that my father thought I should check out. I understand how controversial he is to many readers, but I always found that his stories were worth reading, even when some of the plotlines were uncomfortable (I’m thinking primarily of Farnham’s Freehold). Even if I didn’t agree with his ideas explored in his books and short stories, they made me think.

“The Roads Must Roll” by Robert A. Heinlein

(Future History 3) The United States had moved from automobiles to solar-powered people movers beginning when oil and gasoline were rationed during World War II. It led to less pollution, a spreading out of the population from the congestion of the cities, and a working class who were ripe for agitation by self-serving megalomaniacs with self-worth issues like Shorty Van Kleeck. It is up to Larry Gaines, the Chief Engineer, to stop the destruction and disruption of the roads. Heinlein is remarkably prescient in this 1940 tale, predicting the congestion of the automobiles and their increasing dangers as well as the importance of solar energy. It’s a shame such people movers, whether this style or high-speed trains are kept from actually being implemented. It is also true that the disenfranchised can be easily manipulated. Just look at our current political environment, not just in the United States and Great Britain. A brilliant tale. I can see the workers being militarized considering how a minor disruption, much less a major one, could not only bring the nation to a halt, it could have serious and deadly ramifications. 4.5 out of 5.

“The Year of the Jackpot” by Robert A. Heinlein

Statistician Potiphar Breen has been taking note of strange and unusual events, including a large number of women taking their clothing off in public. Meade Barstow, the latest befuddled stripper, is seen by Pot. Pot intervenes when the police arrive, offering to take care of her and see her safely home. Instead, when she is worried about what her landlady will say, he brings her to his home so that she can put herself back together. Meade agrees to answer his questions for his kindness. Pot reveals what he believes the numbers are telling him, that the planet is facing something that scares him. Intense, sad, and entirely too realistic. The idea of cycles with world events both good and bad is all too true. The gentle romance between Meade and Pot was a lovely addition. Side note: I was surprised to see the inclusion of transvestites in this story published in 1951. Heinlein treated the couple and the subject in a much nicer manner than I might have expected. I wonder why they were included as they weren't truly needed, nor was the subject of needed for his argument. Others could've sufficed. This was a first time read for me, as is the next story. 4 out of 5.

“Jerry Was a Man” by Robert A. Heinlein

When Martha van Vogel accompanied her husband to a genetics lab that alters DNA to make workers out of apes and vanity pets, she was unaware of how the mutated ape workers were treated once they were no longer useful, that they were euthanized. After raising hell, Martha is allowed to take one of the younger workers, whose eyesight had him put in the death pen, home with her against her husband’s wishes. Refusing to look the other way, Martha fights all the way to court to not only get Jerry free of the lab, but to help keep all the others alive, leading to a precedent making court case. This is an incredibly uncomfortable story on so many fronts. I found it most disturbing that Jerry’s speech pattern is a caricature of poor uneducated blacks. I understand that this was intentional on the part of Heinlein. I’m hoping that it was to give his readers a unique viewpoint into their prejudices, especially considering that the story was copyrighted in 1947. Especially with the return of black American soldiers from World War II to a country that still considered them as less than human. 3.5 out of 5.

“The Farthest Place” by Robert A. Heinlein

(Extract from Tramp Royale) This is non-fiction, an account of the Heinleins and their visit to Tristan da Cunha when the tramp steamer they are on makes a call there. The island is in the South Atlantic, over 1500 miles from the nearest other community. I may have enjoyed this excerpt, but in another context. However, this is a collection of science fiction and fantasy. This particular piece really had no reason to be included. I decline to rate it.

“The Long Watch” by Robert A. Heinlein

Lieutenant Johnny Dahlquist was approached by Colonel Towers regarding the danger of having politicians in control back on Earth, that the Guard should oversee keeping the planet safe. Towers wants Johnny’s expertise as junior bomb officer in his rebellious group. While Johnny saw his point about the instability of politicians in general, he couldn’t agree to use his bombs to make a point, a point that would lead to the deaths of innocent people. He had to make the bombs unusable, then hold watch until a ship from Earth will arrive in approximately four days. This story … Heinlein literally reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. My notebook still shows the faint marks of tears. There are many types of heroism. John Ezra Dahlquist is a fine example of doing what is right even when others try to dissuade you. (You should also look up Rodger Young on Google. I was unaware of this Medal of Honor recipient until this story.) 5 out of 5.

Next is Jack Williamson, another writer from the Golden Age of Science Fiction. And yet, somehow, I never have read any of Jack’s works. Based on these stories, that was a great crime.

“With Folded Hands” by Jack Williamson

(Humanoids .5) Poor Underhill is already struggling to keep his android business afloat. Now a new company has suddenly appeared, providing slick new humanoids that are taking over the town of Two Rivers. His new boarder, Mr. Sledge, claims to be an inventor. The new humanoids are known by him and he appears to be frightened of them. Williamson explores how actions, discoveries, and inventions meant to make man’s life better can sometimes serve to harm him. The story, published in 1947, is even more relevant today considering the growth of A.I.s and robots. This really is as much horror as it is science fiction, terrifying on a deep level for those aware how close we are to this possible future. 3.5 out of 5.

“Jamboree” by Jack Williamson

A robot self-called Pops is Scout Master of boys from birth to the age of 12. Periodically it takes the boys to a Jamboree to meet Mother. Younger boys can indulge in pink ice cream and gold stars plastered on their faces. For the oldest boys, it will be their last Jamboree. But one boy thinks there is a way to stop the cycle. Another tale of robots making decisions for the good of mankind. A very different take. 3.5 out of 5.

“The Manana Literary Society” by Jack Williamson

(Excerpt from Wonder’s Child: My Life in Science Fiction) Another piece of non-fiction, but at least it is about science fiction. Once again, I find it out of place and will not rate it. The selection is, however, a good look at the Los Angeles science fiction scene.

“The Firefly Tree” by Jack Williamson

Forced to move with his family to his grandfather’s farm, the unnamed protagonist is without friends, home-schooled, and lonely. Then he finds an interesting plant that his father calls a weed. He is moved to save the plant from destruction and nurtures it until it grows into a tree. One night he goes out to find the tree covered with fireflies. He begins to dream of them, hearing who they are and what they are there ready to do. Doesn’t Jack ever write happy endings? Any at all? As a child who was a loner and lived in a neighborhood with no children near my age, I could relate to this young boy. Truly engrossing. 3.5 out of 5.

Now on to Clifford D. Simak. I’ve read some of his short stories, but it was a long time ago. I don’t remember much of his style or even whether I liked his works or not.

“Desertion” by Clifford D. Simak

To explore the planet of Jupiter, men are physically converted into one of the more intelligent native species, the Lopers. The last five men sent out by Kent Fowler, the head of the survey project, haven't returned. The exploration must continue, but Fowler can't face sending another man out to what appears to be certain death, so he decides to go in their place, accompanied by his elderly dog. This was a beautiful story. I wish it had been longer. 4 out of 5.

“Founding Father” by Clifford D. Simak

Mankind wants to spread out among the stars, to colonize other planets, but the amount of time that would need to be spent on a spaceship would be an issue. Immortals have no problems with time per se, but the loneliness is another matter. A solution was found, a solution meant to be a temporary fix. But what happens with temporary when that is over one hundred years? Whoa, this might’ve been short, but it was so intense, thought-provoking, and a bit sad. Winston-Kirby will have some decisions to make regarding comfort or duty. 4 out of 5.

“Grotto of the Dancing Deer” by Clifford D. Simak

Archaeologist Boyd discovers a hidden fissure at his latest sight, one filled with fantastical and irreverent art. He also finds something else, something impossible. And yet. Another fascinating story with a deep well of sadness and depressing loneliness in a different way than the previous story. 4 out of 5.

L. Sprague de Camp is a writer that I used to read quite a bit of, mostly his earlier works in short story collections. And the Conan books he finished from Robert Howard’s notes and uncompleted manuscripts. Frankly, I found de Camp’s renditions to be better written, although I know that is heresy for some.

“A Gun for Dinosaur” by L. Sprague de Camp

When a time machine is invented, one that can’t go back to a time more recent than 100,000 years ago, a big part of its users are big game hunters taking clients back to kill a dinosaur for trophy. Rivers, of Rivers and Aiyar, one of those hunters, explains to a potential client why he has strict rules about who he’ll take back to what periods based on size and ability to use a particular caliber weapon. All I can say is poor August, braver than he thought he was, and how Courtney deserved everything he got and more. Entitled asshole. 3.5 out of 5

“Little Green Men from Afar” by L. Sprague de Camp

A non-fiction look into the persistent myths, legends, and outright lies that still garner hopeful believers, from flying saucers to the Bermuda Triangle, Atlantis to cults. I do like the five criteria given by Francis F. Broman regarding any and every story: 1) the report be firsthand; 2) the teller shows no obvious bias or prejudice; 3) that the reporter be a trained observer; 4) that the data be available for checking; and 5) that the teller be clearly identified. I’ve enjoyed many a hour reading von Daniken and the various UFO books, but they have always clearly be put in the fantasy fiction category for me, fun if not taken seriously. Again, no rating for a non-fiction piece in a fiction collection. I’m particularly disappointed as de Camp is left with just two fiction pieces as an introduction to his works.

“Living Fossil” by L. Sprague de Camp

Nawputta, a zoologist, and Chujee, his guide, are searching the Alleghany Mountains for interesting specimans and signs of the cities of Man, long extinct, when they meet a suspicious explorer. They also stumble across something they didn’t expect. Cute. Obvious, but still very fun to read. 3.5 out of 5.

Fritz Leiber is the author of a favorite series from my early 20s. While my father was devouring Conan the Barbarian, I was deep into Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser. Strangely enough, I don’t think I read anything else by Leiber in those days or later. So many books, so little time, so few selections at the libraries with whom I had memberships.

“Sanity” by Fritz Leiber

World Manager Carrsbury had researched and planned and schemed for ten years to understand insanity and to replace all the members of the World Management Service with his own people, all of whom had been trained under his exacting guidelines. Just as he had directed the world’s citizens in what they could read, watch, drink, and do in their daily lives. Or so he thought had been done. Leiber’s look at sanity is fascinating and a bit disturbing. Add a backdrop of world government and you have a thoughtful and frightening tale that resonates today. 4 out of 5.

“The Mer She” by Fritz Leiber

(Fafhrd & the Gray Mouser) The Gray Mouser was sailing home to Cif and Fafhrd, his holds filled with treasure and good as befits a successful merchant. When he discovers a stowaway in a chest, he must fight his way through magic if he ever hopes to see his island home again. It has been an extraordinarily long time since I’ve visited this series. The language is as flowery and somewhat archaic as ever, but I missed the boys working together. It just doesn’t have the same punch without that. 3 out of 5.

“A Bad Day for Sales” by Fritz Leiber

Robie, the first sales robot, is on the street, but having a hard time making sales. Then things get a lot worse. Very short, very cute even with that "worse" part. 3.5 out of 5.

#book review #The SFWA Grand Masters #science fiction collection #science fiction #fantasy #Frederik Pohl #Robert A. Heinlein #Jack Williamson #Fritz Leiber #L. Sprague de Camp #Clifford D. Simak #short story collection

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thinkingaboutyoungroyals · 5 years

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The Perfect Moment: Chapter 6

Summary: When Cyrus is assigned to create a modern re-telling of “Romeo and Juliet” for English class, he decides to produce a movie. His stars, however, may pose some trouble. Will he finish his movie on time?

A/N: This is the second to the last chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who read, liked, and commented!

“I like this shot but the lighting doesn’t look right.”

Cyrus leaned in to peer at the clip T.J. was pointing at on the laptop. The jock was right, the glare was too much. But, it was a really nice shot of T.J. and Buffy at the park. Maybe they could fix it with a filter or adjusting the brightness?

“Add it in and leave me a note, please,” Cyrus said.

“Okay, boss.”

He resisted the urge to blush but flashed the jock a grateful smile before returning his attention to his own laptop.

It had been 3 days of non-stop filming and after each shoot, T.J. would walk him home, stay for a few hours to help him pick out clips and edit, they would do a little homework, then he would have dinner with Cyrus and his family before heading home.

They only had two more scenes to film the next day. Then, Cyrus would finish editing and submit his finished work on Friday. Mr. Spencer said that they would show his film in class and he was half-excited and half-terrified about it. On the one hand, he wanted his work to be seen by people other than his friends but on the other, he was afraid that his classmates would hate it and cast him aside as a social pariah.

No pressure.

“So… we’re almost done, huh?” T.J. randomly said out of nowhere.

Cyrus hummed. “Yeah, time flew by pretty fast. I can’t believe we managed to get here with minimal injury. Though, I think my nose will always remember.”

Both boys chuckled at that. The bruise had faded by now but Cyrus had been embarrassed and even considered sneaking some of his stepmom's concealer to cover it up.

“That’s your battle scar, Underdog,” T.J. replied, nudging his shoulder. “You braved through it.”

Cyrus could feel his ears burning again. “Thank you.” Clearing his throat, he turned away. “Do you want to take a break from this? Maybe we can rehearse your lines?”

T.J. was already closing the laptop and putting it on the coffee table. “Sounds good.”

He picked up the new script beside it while Cyrus dug his copy out of his book bag. He flipped to the end. Folding his legs under him, he turned his body around so he could face the jock.

“I’ll be Quinn,” he stated, fighting a blush.

T.J. mirrored his position and smirked. “Go ahead… Quinn.”

Cyrus tried to ignore the fluttering in his chest. Instead, he looked down at the script and began to read.

“We need to talk,” he said, getting in the role of Quinn.

As Logan, T.J. nodded, solemnly

“I think it’s best that we stop seeing each other.”

“What? Why?”

“Logan…” Cyrus sighed. “We’ve hurt our team and ourselves, quite literally. The more we keep pushing our relationship, the more we’ll hurt everyone around us.”

“They’re going to accept us. They have to.”

“It’s not about acceptance. It’s about us just… losing ourselves in this thing we think is love.”

T.J. waited a few beats and, in a soft voice, said, “Don’t you love me?”

Cyrus swallowed. “I do…”

“But, you don’t want to be with me anymore?”

“I…just need space and time. And I think you do, too.”

T.J. grabbed Cyrus’ hand (he tried not to jump because T.J. was simply playing a role). “But, I love you.”

Cyrus hesitated before reaching out to place a hand on T.J.’s cheek. “I love you, too. But, it doesn’t mean that we’re meant to be. At least, not right now. I’m sorry, Logan.”

“Quinn…”

They waited a few beats before Cyrus smiled. “That was great, Teej!”

T.J. beamed, squeezing Cyrus’ hand (which he just realized the jock never let go of).

“Buffy is supposed to pull her hand away after that,” T.J. replied.

“Y-Yeah.”

Cyrus dropped his hand from T.J.’s cheek but the latter still didn’t release his hand. The jock’s hand was much bigger than his and kind of rough from all the sports he did.

“So… um… what do you think of the ending?” he asked.

T.J. pursed his lips. “It’s kinda sad. After going through a lot to be together… just to have it end like that…” His thumb absentmindedly stroked Cyrus’ knuckles. “it’s not death, but it’s still pretty…”

He trailed off.

“Tragic?” Cyrus supplied.

“Yeah. It’s tragic. But, I guess it happens?” He turned on his seat (still holding Cyrus’ hand) and leaned back against the couch. “I can’t imagine saying that I’m so in love with someone and just giving up on them like that.”

Cyrus followed his move. “It’s not like Quinn is giving up. She’s just… giving themselves more room to grow. And if they’re really meant to be, they’ll get together, one way or another. I mean, T.J., they’re still in middle school.”

He turned his head to see T.J. frown. “So, you’re saying that you can’t fall in love in middle school? Or if you do, it’s not real?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying,” Cyrus replied, quickly. “I think what they have is real. It’s just… not the right time for them.”

“Then… when is the right time?” T.J. sounded genuinely upset about that.

Cyrus hesitated to answer. He didn’t want to say the wrong words.

“Sorry,” T.J. suddenly said. “That was a convoluted question. Don’t mind me.”

“No, not at all. I guess… I don’t really have an answer for that.”

“That’s fair.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

Cyrus became even more aware of the hand in his. He wasn’t sure if T.J. was holding his hand on purpose or just forgot that he was. Either way, Cyrus was savoring the feeling. It was nice, holding hands. He liked holding hands. He found it quite intimate.

“Hey, Cy.”

Cyrus turned his head to him. “Yes?”

T.J.’s hand tightened in his as he visibly swallowed.

Cyrus felt himself scoot closer. “What is it, T.J.?”

T.J. slowly leaned in. “I… um… So I…”

Cyrus bit his lip. “Yes?”

“I…”

The sound of a lock turning made them both freeze. T.J. released his hand and leaned back just as the door opened.

“Hey, kids.” Cyrus’ mother entered, hands full with her purse and what appeared to be groceries. “Hard at work, I see.”

“Yeah,” Cyrus managed.

“We’re almost done,” T.J. added.

Sharon smiled at them. “T.J., you’re staying for dinner, yes?”

The jock nodded with a smile of his own. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Perfect! It will be ready in an hour!”

Sharon headed to the kitchen, leaving the two of them alone.

They sat in awkward silence, not sure if they should continue their conversation or not.

Finally, T.J. grabbed the laptop on the coffee table. “Let’s finish up?” he asked.

Cyrus silently nodded, reaching for his own.

They worked in silence until dinner.

……..........

“Don’t you love me?”

“I do…”

“But, you don’t want to be with me anymore?”

“I…just need space and time. And I think you do, too.”

“But, I love you.”

“I love you, too. But, it doesn’t mean that we’re meant to be. At least, not right now. I’m sorry, Logan.”

“Quinn…”

“Good-bye.”

“Quinn!”

“And… cut!”

T.J. broke out of character and turned to Cyrus who was beaming at him from behind the camera.

“Great job, you two! Let’s move on to the hallway and film the last scene!”

Nodding, T.J. followed him and Jonah out of the classroom and into the hallway, where the extras along with Buffy and Andi were waiting.

The last scene shows Quinn and Logan passing each other in the halls. They look at each other for a moment and continue to walk on. The two Captains notice them ignoring each other and show a brief look of regret for driving a wedge between them.

It was a simple scene but Cyrus said that it spoke volumes on the tragic way their relationship ended.

T.J. and Buffy positioned themselves on opposite sides of the hallway. Jonah’s camera was on Buffy while Cyrus’ was on T.J. With them were the members of their team, acting as extras.

“Extras, ready?”

They gave the affirmative.

“And… action!”

They moved, walking up and down the hallway, chatting.

“Okay, T.J. and Buffy, go!”

T.J. walked forward with his head down and a slight limp, emphasizing Logan’s leg injury. When he reached the designated spot, he looked up, the same time that Buffy did. She had a cast on, to show Quinn’s own injury. They looked at each other for 5 seconds before Buffy looked away first and continued walking. T.J., too, turned his head away and walked on.

After they left the shot, the two Captains meet in the middle, looking forlorn. They looked at each other, regretful, before they also parted from each other.

“And… cut!”

“That was perfect, guys!”

Cyrus looked excited as he looked up from the camera, beaming at all of them.

“We’ll do two more takes, okay? Re-set!”

T.J. went back to his original spot. Andi came by a minute later to fix his makeup and his hair.

“You, guys, did great,” she complimented.

“Thanks, Andi.”

Nodding at him, she bounded off.

“Is everyone ready?”

Everyone gave the affirmative.

They shot the scene two more times. At the end of the last take, as soon as Cyrus yelled, “Cut! That’s a wrap!”, everyone broke into applause.

Buffy and Andi both ran up to Cyrus, hugging him. T.J. wanted to do the same but he stayed in place, wanting to them their moment. He would try to ask for his later.

His teammates surrounded him, instead, clapping his back and congratulating him on a job well done.

“Everyone, thank you so much for being a part of this project!” Cyrus called out over the noise. “I’ve had such a thrill working with all of you, especially my stars! T.J. and Buffy!”

Everyone clapped, hooted, and whistled. T.J. felt pride blossom in his chest at having accomplished something amazing.

“To reward you all for your hard work, milkshakes on me at The Spoon! This Saturday!”

That declaration received another cheer.

While everyone cleaned up and gathered their things, T.J. finally managed to pull Cyrus aside.

“Congratulations, Underdog!” he greeted.

Cyrus beamed up at him. “Thank you! But, my work is not done! I still have to cut and edit today’s footage!”

“I’ll help,” T.J. replied with no hesitation.

Cyrus didn’t seem surprised anymore at his offer. Instead, he surged forward, wrapping his arms around T.J.

“Thank you!”

He pulled away much too quickly and the jock lamented the loss of the warmth. Nonetheless, that brief hug made him happy as a bee.

“Hey, Cyrus. Congratulations,” a new voice joined in.

They both turned around to the newcomer.

“Marty!” Cyrus exclaimed.

The track star grinned. “Hope you didn’t mind if I watched that last take? Sorry I couldn’t help before.”

“Not at all! It’s fine!” Cyrus looked over at Buffy, who was busy talking to some of her teammates to notice Marty. “I think Buffy was more upset that it wasn’t you who starred with her.”

Marty pursed his lips. “I heard she and Kippen here made things hard for you.”

T.J. would be offended at that if it wasn’t true. Fortunately, Cyrus didn’t seem to take it to heart. In fact, he laughed.

“At first, they did, but they ended up being fantastic actors! Especially T.J.! His heart eyes are spot on!”

“Is that so?”

The track star flashed T.J. a look. He simply shrugged in response.

“Well, congratulations again.” Marty looked over at Buffy. “I’m gonna go congratulate the Slayer.”

He patted Cyrus’ arm, nodded at T.J., and went on his way.

Together, they watched him approach Buffy and surprise her with a poke on her cheek. And even from afar and even though Buffy acted irritated, they could see the joy in her eyes at seeing the track star there.

“He really likes her, huh?” T.J. couldn’t help but comment, wishing he had Marty’s guts.

“Yeah,” Cyrus agreed, smiling at the sight. “He would have made a great Logan. Not that you weren’t great!” he added, quickly.

T.J. had to laugh at his panicked tone.

“Because you were a fantastic Logan!”

T.J. decided not to tease him for now. Instead, he reached over and ruffled Cyrus’ hair.

“Thanks, Cy.”

He was pleased to see the cute blush appear on the other boy’s cheeks.

……..........

They were on his couch again, backs lazily against it, as they stared at the open laptop in front of them.

After an hour and a half of cutting clips, editing, and rendering, Cyrus was finally done. His movie came out to 28 minutes and 45 seconds, cutting it very close to what Mr. Spencer required of him. Now, the video was loading to a DVD and he would make a copy on a flash drive, just in case.

So, he and T.J. were just relaxing now while they waited for it to finish.

“I know I said it so many times already, but it really was fun, Underdog.”

Cyrus hummed and turned his head to look at him. “I’m glad.” He sighed. “I’ll have to admit, doing this project was exhausting, but it’s brought back a bit of my confidence. Now, we’ll just have to see if the class likes it tomorrow.”

“I’m sure they will.” T.J. grinned. “You had some great actors.”

“Yeah, Buffy was amazing.”

T.J. wrinkled his nose. “Ouch. You wound me so, Underdog.” He chuckled. “But, I’ll let it go for today because I like you.”

The unexpected statement caused Cyrus’ brain to stop working for a hot second.

“Uhh… I…”

A short alert sounded off from his laptop, indicating that the movie had finished transferring to the DVD. Clearing his throat, Cyrus practically flew off the couch to his laptop, hoping T.J. didn’t see his reddening face.

By the number of times he had been blushing this entire week, Cyrus might as well turn into a tomato and grow in his step-mother’s garden.

He busied himself by opening the CD drive and removing the disk. Then, he popped in a flash drive and saved the movie there too.

He turned to T.J. with the disk at hand, smiling. “Wanna watch it?”

“Heck yeah!”

Cyrus bounded over to the T.V. and crouched down in front of it. He turned on the DVD player, popped the disk in, and grabbed the remote. Settling himself back on the couch, he pressed play.

They, first, watched the movie in silence. The acting was mediocre at best, Cyrus had to be honest about that. From the corner of his eye, he spied T.J. flinching and looking away whenever he saw himself onscreen. Cyrus had to hold back his own giggles.

And, then, the gazebo scene began. The acting, by this point, was better. T.J. and Buffy had gotten into their characters a bit better than in the previous scenes.

“My hair looked good,” T.J. commented.

Cyrus finally allowed himself a laugh. “You’re so humble.”

But, he couldn’t argue with that either. T.J. looked handsome, especially with the lighting and the way his eyes looked as they gazed at Buffy. He was really good at looking in love.

Cyrus’ heart was racing, unable to tear his eyes away.

“I’d give it all up for you. The team. My position. Everything if it means I can be with you.”

He knew that those were Logan’s lines but a part of him couldn’t help but wonder…

“You’re right,” T.J. said, softly. “That was the perfect moment.”

Cyrus chuckled, gaze still on the T.V. “And you did it, perfectly.”

He felt a shoulder and a leg press against his side.

“Do you know… who I was thinking about the entire time?”

Cyrus felt himself tense up. “I told you guys to think about the person you liked.”

“Yeah.”

His chest twitched and he absentmindedly scratched at it. “So, you were doing that, yes?” he asked, casually.

“Yeah.”

A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed. “My technique worked well then.”

He turned to look at T.J. to smile but froze when he saw that T.J. was already watching him with the soft look on his face. His eyes were the same as the ones he showed when he was Logan, the eyes that made hearts speed up and knees buckle.

“It wasn’t just your technique, you know,” T.J. said.

By now, neither of them were paying attention to the movie.

Cyrus couldn’t find the words to say so he stayed silent.

“It was you,” T.J. continued, smiling.

Cyrus felt a hand over his and briefly looked down to see T.J.’s fingers intertwining with his. He looked up again, his heart beating fast against his chest and loud in his ears.

“M-Me?” he managed.

T.J. hummed as he nodded. “All of my scenes with Buffy? I would close my eyes and open them and see… you. After every one of them, I have to look at you to make sure that you’re there.”

Cyrus felt himself release a soft gasp of realization. He thought back on the past couple of days, filming with T.J. The jock wasn’t just looking at him to confirm if he did his scene okay. He would look at him because… he wanted to.

“Why are you telling me this?” Cyrus softly asked.

T.J. chuckled. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Cyrus swallowed, unable to find his voice.

“The right timing. The right mood. Everything feels like it’s disappearing and it’s just you and me.” T.J. squeezed his hand. “It’s the perfect moment.”

And with that, he began to lean in.

Cyrus’ breath caught in his throat, but he didn’t move. His heart was beating faster than ever and all he could see in front of him were T.J.’s green eyes and pretty lips that looked really soft and his own eyes were closing and…

The turn of a key and the door opening felt like a lightning bolt fell in between them. The two boys broke apart, their hands leaving each other.

Cyrus couldn’t help but be disappointed and lament the loss.

“Hi, boys! Working late again?”

“H-Hi Sharon,” Cyrus managed.

“Hi Miss Frank,” T.J. followed, his voice steadier than Cyrus’.

His step-mother entered the living room.

“We’re actually done.” Cyrus gestured to the T.V. where his movie was still playing.

“Oh, I see that! We should all watch it after dinner! T.J., you’re staying, yes?”

T.J. coughed before standing up. “Actually, I have to head home a bit early tonight, Miss Frank. I’m sorry. Another time?”

Cyrus looked up at him, eyes wide and confused. Weren’t they just having a moment?! Why was he leaving?!

“Of course. Thank you again for helping Cyrus with his project.”

“It was my pleasure.” He smiled at Sharon before turning to the other boy, who was still frozen and seated on the couch. “I’m sure your film will be great, Cy. I’ll see you at school.”

And with that, the jock turned on his heels and headed towards the door.

“Cyrus, honey? Are you okay?”

Breaking out of his frozen stupor, Cyrus knew that he couldn’t just let T.J. get away. Why confess something like that and just leave?! That was so unfair! He didn’t even get a chance to answer him!

“I’ll be right back,” he said to his step-mother before moving towards the door.

He stepped out to see that T.J. was already halfway down the path.

“T.J.!”

Immediately, the jock turned around, looking adorably confused.

It could have been adrenaline. Or excitement. Or some inner brave part of him. But, Cyrus’ legs moved on their own and he let them. He ran up to T.J., meeting him right there in the middle. For a moment, he only looked at him and T.J. gazed right back.

Lifting himself up on his tiptoes, Cyrus kissed his cheek.

“Good night,” he said. “And thank you. Again. Get home, safely, okay?”

Feeling embarrassed at his sudden act, he ran back into his house, closing the door behind him.

He could feel not only his face was red and warm but his entire body, too.

Oh, god, he kissed T.J.!

Tag list:

@lemon-boy-tj @homosexualearthworm

@disastrxlogy

@new-to-the-phandom

@tyrusgoingfast

@tj-cyrus

@completelysterling

@spike-heels

@multifandom-bxitch

@thedampjofangirl

@i-am-confussion

@buffyshirley

@azuresoulsblog

@cxrus-kippen

@tyrus-endgayme-confirmed

@barely-even-simming

@birthistheend

@angel28716

#tyrus #tyrus fanfic #tyrus perfect moment

124 notes · View notes

fiddlepickdouglas · 3 years

Text

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 17 - With Him

Summary: Sunset Curve Alive AU, Willex, how will it go in the end?, 4.8k

@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16

One finger tapped on the strap of his fanny pack as Alex listened for the right bus stop to be called. If all those months since he’d seen Willie had been long, this past week had been longer. Especially since the news about Caleb had hit hard and every minute in the studio now felt like the band was precariously teetering on the edge of a cliff. He was going to try not to let any of that get in his way today, though. He’d made it to Saturday and Willie was only a few streets away, and he didn’t care what happened for the rest of the day - it was going to be good.

Finally he heard the next stop announced for where he needed to get off and he pulled the cord that told the driver to make a stop. Stepping onto the sidewalk, his heart bounced around in its chamber like the Tazmanian devil from Looney Tunes. He was glad that Willie lived in the basement of the apartment building he occupied because it would’ve been the worst if Alex forgot which room he was in and spent hours frantically knocking doors.

It was hard to tell if he was moving quickly or if his mind was just racing, but in either case, he eventually found himself at the door. For a second, he simply took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair, trying to get a visual of Willie immediately pouncing on him the moment the door opened out of his head. It wouldn’t exactly be unwelcome, but Alex was realizing how desperate he was to be with him and was amazed at how it affected his imagination.

Lifting a hand, he made sure he knocked loudly. Soon after, the door opened, and Alex was greeted with shining brown eyes, silky, gorgeous brown hair styled into two braids, and a smile he could make home in. Willie.

“Hey, come on in!” Willie was saying, standing to the side and gesturing for him to enter. Crossing the threshold, Alex gazed at the humble space, taking in the details with heightened interest. “This is mi casa!” He began showing Alex around. “We’ve got the main living space, very cozy. The kitchen to your left, but no dining room so it’s all criss-cross applesauce on the floor - makes it extra chill. Bathroom through the back. The sink and shower handles will sometimes shock you, so don’t mind all the electrical tape.”

It was surprisingly accommodating for a dingy basement, and Willie had already made little additions that spoke volumes about him without words. A king size mattress sat in the corner of the ‘main living space’ on the floor with a small bookshelf beside it. The bookshelf only had a handful of cassette tapes and a Walkman lying on top, with a few sketchbooks on the middle shelf. Next to that, the dresser had a small collection of vintage soda bottles and a camera sitting on its surface. Glow-in-the-dark star stickers covered the ceiling above the bed. Even a couple cat toys could be spotted on the floor. Immediately, Alex approached the area where Willie’s desk sat surrounded by sketches hung on the wall.

“So these are your drawings?” he asked, although the answer was obvious. They were so good. Willie followed him over, the squinty smile still in his eyes.

“Yeah. Some are new. Most of them are attempts to recover what Caleb tore up.”

Alex looked at Willie apologetically, even though the loss of Willie’s previous work wasn’t his fault. Without warning, a pressure on his leg and the sound of loud purring announced Sheldon’s presence. The cat looked up at him and blinked slowly, already begging for attention. Heart melting, Alex bent down to pet him.

“Hey, Sheldon,” he said. “I forgot how cute you were!” He smiled as Sheldon rubbed his head against his hand with more affection that he’d likely seen from any other creature on the planet. Well...maybe there was one other that matched it. Alex had heard about how pets could take on the temperament of their owners, and suspected this was a clear example. “He’s gotten so big since I last saw him.”

“Yeah, he’s supposed to be almost two years old, if Escobar guessed his age right.”

Standing again as Sheldon pattered off, Alex returned his attention to the wall of art, looking at the pieces more closely.

“So which one is your dad?” he mused.

Willie untacked one of them and held it out for Alex to examine. “This one.”

Holding the edges carefully, Alex gazed in amazement at the detail Willie had caught. The edges were certainly less defined, but the scene inside the truck was so easy to visualize that Alex could almost feel the leather of the seats and the windchill from the window. He wasn’t sure what began burning in his chest as he peered down at the image, but it was profound and complex.

“I’ve thought about seeing if I could find him, but I think with my memory it’s kind of impossible,” Willie told him.

“He looks so happy here. I don’t get why you would end up as a foster kid.”

“Yeah, I wondered that too. Maybe he didn’t have a choice?”

Alex looked at Willie’s face, and he could tell half of him was lost in a world of what-ifs and other questions. He was always trying to seem so easy-going, and to an extent he truly was, but he couldn’t hide the constant sense of upheaval that rested on his shoulders. At least, Alex was picking up on it more, now that he knew the things he did. He may have been biased, but he couldn’t imagine anyone not fighting their hardest to keep Willie.

Suddenly his gaze was drawn to the unfinished work on the desk, and recognized it as a portrait of himself.

“Wow.” The word fell out of his mouth.

“Oh,” Willie started with a hint of shyness. “Obviously that one isn’t done, so…” He reached to put it away.

“You got that far off of memory, though,” Alex said. “I’m impressed. And you make me look good.” He offered an encouraging smile. “Maybe some time today I could be a model for you?”

Willie cocked his eyebrow, surprise and playfulness making an adorable combination on his face. It made Alex’s smile grow wider.

“Well, we’ve got a whole day ahead,” Willie said. “Your wish is my command.”

“Okay,” Alex said, leaning onto his back foot casually, one side of his lip curling with intrigue. “Well, I wanna see where you go around here. You seem to have a knack for finding the best spots. We can play it by ear.”

“What’s that one song with the one phrase?” Willie asked. “‘Any way the wind blows?’” He sang shyly, clearly playing down what Alex could tell was a nice voice.

“Bohemian Rhapsody,” Alex smiled. Willie’s job at the record store was at least giving him a good taste in music. “Don’t worry, you’ll know everything about the classics once you hang out with me enough.”

An emotion flashed in Willie’s eyes and after a moment Alex realized what those words were actually saying. He held his gaze, hoping he could communicate his intentions clearly, unlike the last time they’d seen each other. Willie swallowed, and his expression remained excited as he loaded his backpack and led them out the door, board in hand. Alex followed him, deciding not to question which direction they were going.

First, they made a stop to buy a bunch of apples. In classic Willie fashion, he went to a bodega, and this time he communicated with the cashier in rough Spanish. Alex knew he was showing off, and smirked at the notion that Willie enjoyed impressing him.

“So what do we need these for?” Alex wondered as they left the bodega. “Besides a ton of apples for lunch.”

Willie’s secretive smile made Alex raise an eyebrow.

“It’s a surprise.”

A little while later, they stood before the most unlikely place in all of Los Angeles: a horse barn. Staring at the building as if it loomed fifty feet above him, hands in his pockets, Alex gulped and a lump of dread landed in the pit of his stomach.

“Oh no,” he muttered apprehensively.

“Oh yeah,” Willie said, turning to him with a thrilled grin on his face.

Alex wasn’t exactly afraid of horses...he just had no idea what to do around them and therefore was not sure what to expect from them. Also, he would’ve worn different pants if he’d known this was on the agenda.

“I promise, they’ve got some really chill horses,” Willie tried to ease his nerves. “I’ve gone on this trail enough times. Don’t worry, you’ll know everything about riding once you hang out with me enough.” He winked as he threw back Alex’s line with a sly smile.

Unable to argue, Alex shook his head and used the hand in his pocket to gesture forward, signaling to Willie he was up to the challenge. He watched him practically skip inside and he had to jog to keep up after him. They signed in and then were led to two stalls.

Willie immediately gravitated toward a tall golden-colored mustang stallion with a dark mane, apparently both already familiar and happy to see each other. Alex watched him gently greet and essentially coo at it while comfortably stroking its nose and then feeding it an apple. He longed to have that sort of talent with other creatures, and simultaneously realized that he yearned to receive that same tenderness.

Once the horses were tacked up and one of the instructors had given Alex some brief pointers on how to ride, he found himself following Willie on a trail while mounted on a painted mare. The only philosophy he could adopt out here was to be gentle and not get lost.

“Not so bad, your majesty,” Willie called over to him.

An extremely nervous laugh elicited from Alex’s throat involuntarily, only making Willie laugh in return. Alex rode a little closer so they were nearly side by side on the trail.

“I’ve been here once,” he said. “I think I was about twelve? My mom thought that it would make me change my mind about taking ballet classes. We rode for maybe fifteen minutes before I got so nervous we had to turn back around and go home. Never made it through the full trail.”

“Man, that sucks,” Willie commented. “I didn’t know you did ballet.”

“Yeah, that and a few other types of dance. I was forced to quit a little couple years ago. That’s about when we got serious as a band, so I just found something else to bother my parents with.”

He could see the gears click into place as Willie came to a few conclusions about his parents and gave an emphatic nod.

“Well, I’ve always wanted to learn how to dance. That was the one thing Caleb had promised to teach me. He’s the worst, but he definitely knows how to dance.”

Suddenly, Alex remembered watching Caleb’s movements when he’d served him and the boys at the diner. Of course he could dance; everything had been fluid and smooth. All he could say to that thought was “huh,” at first. Then after a few moments: “I’ll have to teach you one of these days then.”

Willie’s eyes crinkled at the corners, happy at the prospect.

“Yeah, okay! Add that to our to-do list.”

Alex chuckled. They had a to-do list now. He bit his lip as he continued following Willie along the trail. It was a gorgeous day and in this area the sky was so clear compared to further inside the city. Greatly contrasting his experience from years ago, Alex felt himself become much more at ease and felt confident enough to take greater control of his horse. Willie pulled out his camera and snapped a few scenic photos every once in a while.

Eventually, they stopped at an outlook and Alex had to take in an awed breath. The view was clear for miles all around them. Green hills spanned the landscape in every direction with patches of city speckled in between. Even the ocean line was visible from there. How did Willie know how to find these?

“Hey, Alex!” Willie called, lifting his camera. “Say cheese!”

Turning to face him, Alex flashed a genuine smile as Willie captured him atop his horse against the scenery. He was usually pretty camera shy, but this time he really didn’t mind. Keeping memories like this actually felt important to him, unlike the many times he’d been forced to pose with his family at functions he’d also been made to attend. Those occasions had always felt so insincere - less about enjoying the memory and more about trying to prove their status as the polished, functional family everyone aspired to.

He saw Willie dismount for a moment and stretch his legs. Gripping the reins and looking around in uncertainty, Alex realized he’d gotten on before ensuring he could properly get off. Thankfully, Willie noticed and came up to him, hands raised.

“Okay, so just...carefully lift your foot out of the stirrup and swing your leg over toward me,” he instructed. Sucking in a breath hesitantly, Alex did as he said. “Alright, then...here.” Willie offered a hand for Alex to grab so he could slide off with ease. Landing on the ground, he leaned into Willie to gain his balance, and felt a congratulatory pat on his back. It took more restraint than Alex anticipated to not simply wrap his arms around him and sit like that for an indefinite amount of time. They had all day ahead of them; he didn’t need the sudden fear of losing him to derail things out of nowhere.

“Sorry if I look like a wimp about all this,” he said, letting go of his hand.

“Nah, don’t sweat it,” Willie assured him, shaking his head. “This is...this is new.”

His eyes seemed to take Alex in from head to toe and Alex could’ve sworn the charge in the air between them would buzz if they got closer, spark if they made contact. It was almost like that moment in front of Willie’s door the week before. For a few seconds they remained locked in that trance before Willie took hold of the horse’s reins and handed them to Alex.

“Technically this trail could take hours, but I’m guessing this isn’t all you’re interested in today,” he said. “What do you say we stretch our legs a bit and then ride back?”

Looking from the reins in his hand back to Willie, Alex nodded.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Opening his backpack, Willie handed him an apple and then bit down into one of his own. Taking a bite, it was one of the most refreshing apples Alex ever eaten. They walked the horses a little ways and tried to get good pictures of the different views around them. Alex asked to try his hand with the camera and get a few good shots of Willie. He didn’t consider himself a photographer, but he doubted when the photos got developed that they would turn out badly. The way Willie smiled made him seem like he was made of sunlight from the inside out.

As they rode back to the barn, Alex kept replaying those moments where he’d refrained from making a move over in his head. This had been strike two. If he continued on like this, he was going to hate himself for the rest of eternity, he was pretty sure. Was it some weird kind of side effect of the whole ‘Willie come back to life’ thing? Watching him affectionately say goodbye to his horse once they were ready to leave, Alex looked at his own horse and raised a tentative hand up to her nose.

The mare gazed back, patience gleaming in her eyes. He finally set his hand down on her nose and gently rubbed it up and down, smiling a little to himself. This wasn’t so bad. He could do this - it was just a matter of getting through all the barriers he made for himself in his head. Moving his hands from the horse’s nose, he stroked along her neck, and caught Willie smiling at him from the corner of his eye.

“You wanna try feeding her an apple?” he asked.

Thinking for a few seconds, Alex nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

Pulling one out of his backpack, Willie placed it in Alex’s palm.

“Alright, so hold it out in front of you like this…” He positioned Alex to offer the apple. “And keep your palm flat.”

Alex uncurled his fingers and after sniffing at it a little the mare ate it out of his hand. He could ignore the sensation of her mouth touching him because Willie still had his arm around his shoulder to hold him steady. They looked at each other, and Alex wished he could get a proper shot at Willie’s face at that angle with the camera.

“Looks like you’re gonna get the hang of this,” Willie commended.

Alex looked back up at the horse, a little bit of pride swelling in his chest. “Yeah, I think I will.”

Later, they went to the beach at Alex’s suggestion. He was perched on the surface of a picnic table, posed as if he were looking off into the distance. Willie sketched with great concentration, having taken his hair out of his braids so he could run his hand through it. The late afternoon sun brought out all the best color contrasts in their surroundings - one of the things Alex loved about coming to the beach at this time of day.

“So I have a question,” Alex started, trying not to move too much. His tendency to talk with his hands kept getting him in trouble.

“Shoot,” Willie prompted him, not looking up.

“Did Caleb let you go to school or anything? Or did he provide any sort of education at all?”

Squinting, Willie looked thoughtful for a moment.

“So, after the accident, he told me that I’d had to be taken out of school,” he began, continuing to sketch. “Which makes sense, I guess, if I forgot everything. I remember some basic things, like math wasn’t hard to pick up again. Once I was recovered enough to go places, he just let me go to the public library and find whatever I wanted to read. But he always insisted on not having reminders of who I was before and said it was supposed to be helping me ‘become my own person’. He got rid of things like my school yearbooks and old journals and things. I didn’t think anything of it at first because he’d just called it useless clutter and I believed him. As soon as he decided I was fit enough to work in the diner and help out at the hotel, he told me to forget about school. Anything else I picked up was from watching TV, or listening to the radio, or something. Sometimes I’ll just remember I know something after hearing about it and it’s like it was just always there.”

Listening intently, Alex marveled at the whole thing. The fact that Caleb was not only negligent, but actively discouraging Willie from knowing anything, made him wish he could take down the man’s whole career. However, he figured Willie probably had a lot of his intelligence still untapped. If he’d been able to get away from Caleb and somehow create a life for himself in the span of a few months, Alex wondered what else he was capable of.

“What’s something you remember?” he wondered.

“I guess I used to be really obsessed with space. Just planets and stars and all that. I can spout off facts about Jupiter’s moons and stuff like that. Did you know that the moon Europa has a saltwater ocean under a layer of ice?”

Alex shook his head. “No, I didn’t. That sounds really cool though.” He thought of the stickers on Willie’s ceiling and smirked a little before reassuming his pose.

“I sort of wish I could remember being in school,” Willie was saying. “Everyone else seems to just share all of those memories and understand each other that way.”

Alex saw his brow furrow, and could tell he felt left out. He pondered on his own experience growing up in public school. There was almost no other way he would’ve met Luke, Bobby and Reggie if they hadn’t all attended the same schools. While he could easily critique and complain about it to no end, he knew it was a privilege.

“School is definitely hard,” he told Willie. “But I did get my friends out of it, and I guess that makes up for it. If it’s any consolation, you could just complain about Caleb like he was your horrible English teacher who thought he knew more about the subject of your essay, but you cited all of your sources and they proved him completely wrong.”

Willie laughed. “Why? Did that happen to you?”

Alex bobbed his head from side to side and feigned looking thoughtful . “Maybe.”

“I kind of like reducing him to a loser English teacher. He just sounds petty and sad.”

“That’s high school,” Alex confirmed.

Leaning back from his work for a minute to take it all in, Willie brushed a hand through his hair.

“Here, you wanna take a look at it?” he said. Alex hopped off the table and went to stand over Willie’s shoulder at the drawing and was immediately rendered speechless. The detail was impeccable, but Alex was more impressed by the feeling he got looking at it. Willie had managed to make him appear...handsome, and pensive, and fascinating, like anyone else could look at him and create a million unique ideas of who he was. However, it wasn’t anyone else looking at him, it was Willie, and what he’d captured felt like the truth. Alex couldn’t really explain what that meant, only that it was an honest representation.

“Okay, I know I said the one back at your place made me look good, but this is...this is unreal.”

He could see Willie trying to be modest, but the corners of his lips couldn’t stay down. Funny enough, he appeared even more unable to find words, and simply beamed as he looked back and forth between his sketch and Alex’s face.

A sudden impulse came over Alex, and he kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it on top of Willie’s skateboard and backpack. Willie sat looking flustered for a moment.

“Wanna swim?” Alex nodded toward the waves, bidding Willie to follow. He didn’t wait for him to catch up as he immediately began running into the waves up to his knees. Alex knew his pants would be even more ruined the second he hit the salty water, but he didn’t care. Now the sun was beginning to set and the chill of the waves was refreshing, and he couldn’t express what he felt just then in any other way.

Willie tackled him from behind, climbing onto his back and nearly knocking him over into the shallow tide. Clambering back to his feet, Alex splashed water at him. They began a playful water fight back and forth, until they were both drenched. Eventually, Alex tried to catch hold of both Willie’s hands in an attempt to prevent being splashed anymore. He had the advantage of longer arms, but before he could get a tight hold of the second arm Willie’s leg swept under his and they both fell just as a large wave washed over them.

As the water pulled back, they sat in the sand in a tangle, laughing. All Alex could think of was how pretty Willie was in this light, hair swept back off his face with tendrils resting over his shoulders, sun gleaming in his eyes and constantly shining from the inside out. The laughter died between them and he caught a look in Willie’s eye that made him wonder if he appeared to him to be just as perfect in that moment.

This time his mind and body worked in sync as he lifted a hand and gently pulled Willie into a short, tender kiss. All the self-flagellation from earlier was washed away in one pure moment, and exhilaration moved into its place. It felt soft and sweet, just the way he expected it should. Just as quickly as he’d let go, Willie went in for another one, a little longer and a little deeper. One hand remained caressing his cheek while the other wrapped around his upper back. Alex couldn’t help smiling into another kiss; he was too happy to care about anything else. Hardly a week ago, this had been impossible.

As they let go, their hands came together and they looked into each other's eyes, both releasing a relieved chuckle. Willie looked at the rest of the beach behind them and Alex’s eyes followed, but at this hour there were too few people around and no one paying attention to them. Turning back to Alex, Willie sighed and shook his head with a smile.

“Wow,” was all he said, biting his lip.

“Yeah, I’d definitely do that again,” Alex smirked, until the joy in his chest converted it into a full grin.

A wave washed over them again and they both stood, shaking out their hair and trying to wipe off whatever sand they could. Heading back up the beach, Willie grabbed Alex’s hand so they could make their way up together. The sun was nearly set but Alex was sure it had just gone into his chest, bursting with excitement. Once they reached the picnic table, they gathered their things and Willie offered to carry Alex’s shirt inside his backpack on the way home. Thank goodness there were a few patches of grass so Alex could try to get a little more sand off his feet before putting his shoes back on.

“So how long have you been sitting on that?” Willie teased as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and they left the beach.

“Shut up,” Alex laughed, knowing he was being called out.

“No, really!” Willie bumped his side jokingly. “I want to know!”

Tilting his head back to try to remember, it didn’t take Alex long to give him the answer.

“Since day one,” he told him.

Surprise swept over Willie’s face as he looked at Alex.

“Seriously?” he asked.

Alex nodded.

“Me too.”

It was Alex’s turn to look surprised. Without saying another word, he took Willie’s hand in his and then kissed it before continuing back toward his place. The whole way they talked about all the different things they needed to do together in the future. Riding on more horse trails, dancing lessons, skating lessons, art modeling sessions, going to band practices and gigs, visiting the record store while Willie wasn’t working, etc. They both agreed that the entire day technically counted as a date, and all further plans would as well. Alex was reminded once again that he didn’t have a notebook to write things down in, and vowed to have one for the next time he saw Willie. Once they reached Willie’s door, they had already put their shirts back on and it was completely dark outside.

“Are you free any time next week?” Willie asked, still holding onto Alex’s hand.

“I wish I could say yes, but probably not. And as much as I’d love to give you my number, it’s really not the best idea.”

“Well, I could give you mine,” Willie said.

Alex shot him a confused look. Holding up a finger, Willie dug into his backpack until he found his sketchbook and tore off the corner of a page, quickly scribbling one down and handing it to Alex.

“It’s actually the one for work,” he said. “But if it’s what we can do for now, I’ll do it. Kyle won’t care.”

Looking at it for a minute and then stashing it in his now-dry pocket, Alex took hold of Willie’s chin and went to kiss him again. It was really hard to stop, but they soon broke apart.

“I gotta go,” Alex murmured.

Willie only nodded, squeezing his hand before letting go and slipping his own into his pocket.

“I’ll call you.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight.”

Once again heading up the short set of stairs to the sidewalk, Alex rubbed his lips together, relishing in the taste of what he and Willie had just done. He couldn’t imagine anything sweeter.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #fanfic #jatp fanfic #sunset curve #alive au #willex #willie #alex mercer #luke patterson #reggie peters #bobby wilson #julie molina #caleb covington #viva las vegas #with him #fiddlepickdouglas

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cindylouwho-2 · 5 years

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RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, September 2019

Welcome to my latest summary of recent news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & ecommerce! This covers articles I came across in the past 5 weeks, although some may be older than that.

I am still working on scheduling enough time to post these every 10 days or so, but lately luck is just not on my side. Writing this elsewhere then cutting & pasting it here is creating some significant formatting issues, so if you find any errors or broken links, please let me know.

Are there types of news you would like to see here? Leave a comment below, email me through my website, or send me a message on Twitter.

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

Etsy introduced Etsy Ads at the end of August; I covered it on my blog. Some people are seeing decent returns, but many are not. I started a forum thread here for continuing discussion.

A day later, Amazon announced it has waived their $40 a month shop fee for Handmade by Amazon shops. See the pinned post on their Facebook page.

A large study of click-through-rates (CTR) on Google reveals that the top link gets over 30% of the clicks, titles with questions get 14% more clicks than those without, and moving up one slot in the results leads to more clicks, unless you move from 10th to 9th. They cite Etsy’s study of titles & CTR (which showed that shorter titles get more clicks, something that this study also found).

Trend watch: a suggestion that Americans can avoid most of the tariff pain in the pocketbook by buying used clothing & other items. “Secondhand and vintage is no longer synonymous with a dusty pile of outdated sweaters in the corner of a church basement, or a yearly rummage sale. Online resale, including high-end designer items, is booming, thanks to start-ups like The RealReal, Depop, Poshmark, eBay, and Etsy. It’s possible to fill your entire closet this way”. Pre-owned & rented clothing also makes fans of sustainability happy.

Also, “grandmillennials” are a thing.

ETSY NEWS

Etsy US searches often now have a full first page of items that ship free or have the $35 free shipping guarantee, as of September 6 (although they were testing it earlier than that.) I was seeing the rare exception, beyond searches that have fewer than 48 items shipping free, but it wasn’t clear if these are tests or personalization. Then on September 21, we started seeing many items with shipping charges on the first page of even very large results, & most smaller results didn’t give much if any priority to free shipping at all. There has been no statement from Etsy, so your guess is as good as mine ...

In the meantime, they’ve begun promoting free shipping to buyers, which has led to some media coverage. Some note that the timing is good, since most US holiday purchases online in the past several years have included free shipping.

There is a new chapter in the Ultimate Guide To Etsy Search, involving attributes. The accompanying podcast with Etsy’s head taxonomist [transcript with links to the podcast] is quite interesting. She says that one of the reasons that some attributes haven’t shown up yet as search filters is that not enough sellers have applied them to listings. “If we have 100,000 items in the search results and a buyer uses a filter, and that filter causes the results to return just 20 items, that makes it seem broken. The buyer no longer trusts the results. If only 20% of sellers fill out an attribute, showing a filter based on that attribute to buyers isn’t going to be helpful because such a drastic reduction in results makes them lose confidence in those search results. We have to wait until a large number of sellers fill out that data to show it to buyers as a filter. When we do, sellers who have filled out that attribute show in those filtered search results. Sellers who haven’t, don’t.” Also, “[w]e know that shoppers who interact with these filters tend to buy more expensive items.” And, there aren’t separate jewellery attributes for “gold”, “gold-filled” & “gold-plated” because “[m]any jewelry buyers don’t have your experience and don’t know the huge difference between these things.”

The new commercials were launched earlier this month; you can check them all out here, and here is some media coverage. Some analysts think this is a good thing for the stock.

Vox published a review of Etsy’s latest free shipping push, in contrast with its history. [I am sure most of you have seen that, but if not, it is a good read!] “Silverman doesn’t like the words “handmade” or “craft” because they “don’t communicate anything to buyers about when to think of Etsy.” he says now. Nobody wakes up thinking, “Gosh, I need to buy something handmade today,” he tells me, which may be true but I rarely wake up thinking I need to buy anything at all, and more commonly wake up in horror because I’ve already bought way too much. “You need to furnish your apartment. You need to prepare for a party. You need to find a gift for a friend. You need a dress. Handmade is not the value proposition — unique, personalized, expresses your sense of identity, those are things that speak to buyers.” [emphasis added] Also, apparently Etsy founder Rob Kalin “didn’t know what seed funding was when he took it” 😮

The new tool for creating country-specific sales is finally out. You still can’t create the equivalent of the $35 free shipping guarantee for countries other than the US, however, which makes this pretty useless for people wanting to offer free shipping in the US and to their own country. The only way to come close is to set a 30 day free shipping sale to your own country, but it won’t show up in search (unless people filter for free shipping) or get the Canadian search boost for items that ship free, and you still need to renew it every 30 days. In short, Etsy is telling us to overcharge our customers in other countries with no way to offer them the same deals Americans are getting.

Sellers can now use Etsy Labels for USPS First Class letters & flats.

Holiday tips continue to roll out: here are some ideas for running holiday sales and promotions on Etsy.

Advanced content on machine learning: Etsy is employing its data on styles to serve up personalized recommendations, including the “Our Picks for You” section on the home page. The purchase and favouriting rates are part of what gets shown. They’ve discovered that some styles are more popular are different times of the year.

For those of you who think Etsy doesn’t spend enough on advertising, they are actually buying spots on tv shows now, including this Las Vegas morning show. [video]

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES

Sad to report that Keywords Everywhere is becoming a paid tool starting October 1st (although it may take longer to roll out to your account). https://keywordseverywhere.com/news.html They need to do this because they were being scraped by bots, which was affecting user experience & costing them a lot of time and money. Fortunately, it is still going to be very cheap - 10,000 keywords for $1 USD, purchased ahead of time as credits. They say that the average user will spend less than $2 a month, & I suspect that the average Etsy user will spend less. Once your account moves to a paid one, you will no longer see the search volume, cost per click & competition numbers under search terms until you buy credits, although the "related keywords" & "people also search" sections will still show up on the right side of Google search. I usually do not recommend any paid tools, but I do think this will still be worth every penny, especially if you remember to turn it off when shopping instead of researching! Every comparable paid tool costs way more than this. And despite the rush of attention since their announcement, I still received a personal reply to my email within 24 hours.

You know how I always talk about nofollow links? They still exist, but Google has expanded their link attribution codes to include “sponsored” & "ugc" (user generated content), and all might be crawled at any point after March 1, 2020. Moz did a top level explanation, and here is Google’s (shorter) summary. But it may not really matter much to the average site.

Want to rank well on Google and other search engines? Create “complete content.”

A followup on last edition’s discussion of canonical URLs - Google gets the final say. [video]

Google is now releasing monthly videos of their search news; first one is here.

Some of you will remember Moz’s Whiteboard Friday series on learning SEO in one hour. They’ve now compiled all 6 videos in one place.

And if you want to learn the basics of link building quickly, Moz has a short version of that chapter from their Beginner’s Guide to SEO.

If you are afraid you are missing some SEO rules on your top pages, check out this complete checklist for on-page SEO.

There are tons of SEO tools for Wordpress; here are 15 of the best.

Many people will find your blog through search engines, so make sure you use keywords in your blog posts.

If you have a website, check out 16 things that can harm your search engine rankings [semi-advanced in part, some points are discussing coding]

Success on YouTube involves SEO, something I find many users forget.

Mostly advanced: reminder that as of September 1, you can’t use robots.txt to tell Google not to index pages or sites.

Advanced content for website developers: you need to make sure the site is ready for SEO work.

There are always more Google updates; this one is still rolling out, and was confirmed by Google, but very few details were given. Sistrix did the first comprehensive analysis, although it is still early, and health and media sites seem to be the most dramatically affected.

CONTENT MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails)

Marketing emails need to be carefully designed for success. Everything from the layout to the “preheader” matters.

If you have content on one medium that is doing well for you, it’s time to “repurpose” it for different platforms.

Infographics are very popular in content marketing; here’s how to make one, with 15 free templates.

Some Instagram posts do better than others; here’s why. Among other study findings, “smaller profiles which use more hashtags actually do see better engagement rates per post.”

If you aren’t getting much interaction on Instagram, you could be “shadowbanned.” There are ways to avoid that happening, and ways to fix it when it does.

“Content factories” are a big part of Instagram traffic. Maybe Facebook should crack down on this?

Pinterest is combining image recognition visual search with Shoppable Pins.

Facebook is considering hiding the like counts on News Feed posts, as Instagram is testing in 7 countries right now. “The idea is to prevent users from destructively comparing themselves to others and possibly feeling inadequate if their posts don’t get as many Likes. It could also stop users from deleting posts they think aren’t getting enough Likes or not sharing in the first place.”

Video app TikTok can be confusing, so here is a step-by-step guide for beginners. And here’s a podcast [with text] on the basics.

Twitter chats are a great way to attract interest in your business.

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS)

Facebook is testing new shopping ads, but they are only available to small groups at the moment: checkout from the Facebook app, and turning Instagram shopping posts into ads. Here’s more on the latter.

Snapchat now has longer ads and different formats.

I see a lot of questions on what you can advertise on various platforms; here’s a good summary of items/topics prohibited on major sites.

Since so many sellers are interested in other types of advertising right now, here are a few primers, most of which I have posted here before: Setting up Google Shopping for your website Instagram Sponsored Posts How to beat Facebook’s ad algorithm Setting up Pinterest ads

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING

Have Google Analytics set up on your website but don’t know how to use it? Here are some common features [text and video] you may want to take advantage of. Note that the part about setting it up doesn’t apply to most marketplaces and many website builders, which have a more simplified set up, as Etsy does.

The old Google Search Console (formerly Google Webmaster Tools) is now almost entirely converted to the new version. Expect all of the old reports to be moved to the new version soon.

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS

There’s new evidence that Amazon has skewed its search algorithm to favour its own products & third-party products that make Amazon the most money. ”Executives from Amazon’s retail divisions have frequently pressured the engineers at A9 to surface their products higher in search results, people familiar with the discussions said.” In case that WSJ article goes back behind a paywall, here is some news coverage of it. “Instead of adding profitability into the algorithm itself, Amazon changed the algorithm to prioritize factors that correlate with profitability, the article said.” Amazon denies this, of course.

Despite the legal agreement in Germany, Amazon is still suspending accounts without 30 days notice.

Want to use cash to pay for online purchases? Amazon is now offering that option in the US.

eBay listings now default to 1-day handling; if you ship slower than that, make sure to remember to change the default on each new listing you make.

eBay managed payments (the equivalent of Etsy Payments) are now available in Germany.

A review of major shipping trends in ecommerce notes that “[t]he accelerated supply chain is putting small sellers at a crossroads regarding if they can afford to take a hit on margins” when discussing Etsy’s free shipping push.

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE

Over ⅓ of US adults have bought something on social media, over 50% of 18-34 year olds are in that group. Far fewer had used visual search or virtual reality.

More people are shopping online late at night; women are more likely to do it, but men spend more when they do. [I’ve noticed this trend on my site and Etsy shop for a few years now,compared to when I first started selling in 2008.]

The majority of shoppers worldwide who are online use videos to make some purchase decisions, as shopping lists, how-to research, and to check reviews.

Gen Z (the generation after millennials) is more concerned about their health than the the previous 2 generations, and sometimes avoid the stresses of social media by shopping in brick & mortar stores. “About two-thirds (67%) of Gen Z prefer products made with ingredients they can understand, and tend to buy products in health and wellness categories more frequently than other generations. On environmental issues, 65% said they prefer simple packaging and 58% said they want eco-friendly packaging. Half of the group seeks products that are locally sourced or made, and 57% are seeking products that are environmentally sustainable, but fewer are willing to pay a premium price for them.”

For the 2019 holiday season, “65% of holiday shoppers will use a mobile device to shop, and 65% will make an online purchase via mobile.”

How do different industries get their online traffic? Google sends sites 8 times more traffic than all social media sites combined, and Facebook drives nearly ⅔ of all visits from social media. Instagram is responsible for less than 1%, while Twitter tops 10%. The author notes that “faster-growing social networks like Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok are designed from the ground up in a way that makes it difficult to drive traffic to external sites.”

MISCELLANEOUS (including humour)

Google is working on letting you search your Google Photos for text; it seems to be using AI to identify & store the text in your screenshots and other images. It’s interesting technology that will likely be used in many ways, including search engines, if it works well.

If you like convo snippets on Etsy, here’s a tool that will make them possible in many more places.

Need a photo editor that works on mobile? Here’s a list of 12, most of which are free or cost only $1 USD.

This one simple trick makes everything faster and easier.

Stuff that probably shouldn’t taste like pumpkin spice. [humour]

#seo #search engine optimization #search engine marketing #etsynews #analytics #stats #social media #contentmarketing #content marketing #Ecommerce #smallbiz #CindyLouWho2NewsUpdates

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speckeh · 5 years

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My 2019 Garbage Book Dump

It’s 2019! I’m tired, I’m hella gay, and I’m still reading books as much as I can with my busy life! Enjoy this book list with reviews!

1. Thunderball: 5/5 stars. Mormon jokes. Making fun of dietary changes? A young Italian woman (girl) who controls the island with her beauty. It becomes a mission against nuclear threats against the Europe and the US? Not exactly the MOST thrilling James Bond book, but I had a lot of fun reading it. I’m glad this was my first read of the year!

2. The Lydia Steptoe Stories - Faber Stories: 4/5 stars. I found these short, tiny books in a local bookstore. There were 6 of them on the table and I bought three. Sometimes I wish I bought all of them, but not all of them spoke to me. The Lydia collection was interesting as it held three stories with: a young man being “seduced” by his aunt, a young girl wanting to be a dominatrix, and a woman who wishes she could be youthful again. While I didn’t find the stories awe-inspiring, I did find them extremely entertaining and nice to think about.

3. Emma Cozy Classics: 5/5 stars. I have the pride and prejudice one. While it might not be as fabulous as a full book, but the pain-staking skill of felt art is entirely impressive. It went on my Jane Austen book shelf.

4. Come Rain or Shine - Faber Stories: 3/5 stars. What would you do if your friends thought you were absolutely insane and their lives are falling apart worse than yours? What would you do if your friend asks you to play absolutely stupid to his wife to make him look better and for her to realize her life isn’t so bad that she got lucky enough to not marry you? I for one, would drop these fucking friends and never look back. The story was a fucking train wreck and absolutely insane to the point where it wasn’t even humorous to me. Several authors state it’s Ishiguro’s step into comical writing and I wish he wouldn’t.

5. Passionate Minds - Women Rewriting the World: 1/5 stars. I found this book at my Uni’s free bookshelf. I was super excited to read this book but it’s one of the dullest and full of biases book I’ve had the displeasure of picking up. I got to read about my girl Gertrude Stein but I was expecting more female writers, not actors who the writer obvious gets off on. There’s nothing wrong with that, and this book has rave reviews, I just couldn’t stand the writing style and obvious fawning she had (and not in the academic/historically reserved way authors should be).

6. Wandering Island Vol. 2: 4/5 stars. It’s been two years since the first volume came out. I found myself reading it in record time which has me both disappointed and a bit confused (not because I read it fast, but because of the strange editorial ending). The art is impeccable with a few questionable “obviously a man drew this” moment, the story has kind of been a bit muddled up and didn’t necessarily go anywhere this volume. It felt more of a build up for Volume 3 which I don’t know when will be released. The editor wrote this strange 6 page essay that started off they were going to postpone Wandering Island 3, then went on a long rant about how the manga editing world has changed with ^-^ faces all throughout, only to then write fan theories of where they think the story is going to finish with: “We’ll translate the pages as soon as they come out! ^-^” what the fuck?? Haha

7. Fun Home - A Family Tragicomic. 5/5 stars. I bought this book today and I finished it this evening. I’m still processing everything that happened but one thing I know for sure is that I found one of my top 5 books of 2019 as well as a new favorite already. Alison approaches a hard topic of coming out, learning about her father’s secret life of being bisexual, and coming to terms with the strange person with anger issues that was her father. While my father wasn’t gay, there were several elements of her father I saw in my own. The volatile anger, learning more about his life after his death, hearing shattering truths from your mom, the regret of not having conversations sooner and him not seeing who you truly are before their passing. It struck a chord with me and I’m going to be thinking about this comic book I feel like for two months.

8. The Real McCoy: 4/5 stars. This is like a small wikipedia pamphlet book about the famous names, phrases, or lyrics you might know. I wasn’t necessarily impressed with the booklet, but I found some of it entertaining. I gave it a high rating because it served its purpose but I’m totally gifting it to a friend who loves random facts.

9. The Heart Affirming: 5/5 Stars. Epic poems about the Greek Gods, the universal feeling of appreciating nature, the wondering of the cruelty of humanity. This is a rare find of a poetry book not popular and one I found at my local library book sale that was signed by the author. If you have the pleasure to pick up this 1939 poetry book, please do! It’s a treat from the past that shows we still yearn for the same poetic romanticism we did then to now.

10. Bloom: 4.5/5 stars. I’ve realized I’m going to graduate college in the fall and this weird depression hit where I realized my life is really finally going to change forever. So I’m having a mixture of senioritis where I don’t want to do any work when I’m done with school by Wednesday, and I’m having a mid-century life crisis where I don’t know what to do with my life (I mean I do, but it’s terrifying). So I went on a LGTBQ+ splurge on amazon, something i haven’t done in awhile, Bloom was one of those books. Bloom is a fast paced comic about a high school graduate who wants to move out and move on, but his friends are dicks and his parents want him to stay. Welcome the new hot boy whose grandma just died and conveniently loves to bake. Ari wants to leave the bakery and this new hot guy is just his ticket to leave, or is it? I really liked this comic for the art and the story line was refreshing. But there were several instances where the book moves really quickly and the development was… meh. HeartStopper has great, slow pacing that lets you feel like the characters and story moves in a believable way. Bloom is rushed in some parts, but still.. So cute.

11. Spinning: 5/5 Stars. 2/4 of the LGTBQ+ books I ordered have been read! I read this book the day before valentine’s day and I’ve already been in a weird mode/crisis of being a university senior. I, loved this book for all the reasons why people gave it 3 stars. Everyone stated the story didn’t wrap up, that i jumped, that it felt fragments, but if you read the very end the author state not all books should make sense or follow a timeline or be accurate and these followed her own recollection without revisiting anything. I really appreciated and I loved the style. It’s a heavy book with sexual assault, manipulation, child abuse, and a very unhappy protagonist who isn’t likeable. But at the same time, finishing this book I just felt such grief that I didn’t pursue an art career. That I didn’t just join an art program or give my art career a chance. I think when I’m in the end of my career, retirement, I may go to art school again or maybe I’ll splurge money on lessons or maybe I’ll just accept my art as is. Either way, this book made me fiercely jealous of a 21 year old. It reminded me of a famous story of my dad reading a book about astronauts and crying in the bath because he should have been an astronaut, and how this book made me want to cry because in some form I should have been an artist. But like my dad, we’ve both chased careers that really inspired and gave us amazing opportunities. But I think it’s natural to miss over those childhood passions you didn’t follow through with because you felt like you weren’t enough.

12. My Solo Exchange Diary Vol 2. 2.5/5 stars. I read the first volume last year due to prompting from one of my precious friends (Ramona). My loneliness with Lesbianism was AMAZING. I bought it. My Solo Exchange Diary felt like the author was rambling in circles, completely mentally unwell, and had no ideas of how to properly take care of herself. In Volume 2 she was able to search for some help and she was able to deal with some introspective thoughts about how her viewpoint might have been wrong and how she was toxic to herself and her family. Volume 2 still left a taste in my mouth that felt… weird? She’s moving in the right directions but I think she’s desperately trying to follow the hype of her lesbian hit manga and she’s failing due to her wants to surpass herself. I laughed and felt bad as she mentioned how people slammed her for Volume 1, so it felt very meta to read how she reacted because my comment was also criticizing her: read here. But if you’re reading it in a bookstore or a library, do it. It’s nice to see how she’s slowly making progress with herself.

13. Sputnik Sweetheart. 1/5 stars. I picked this up in Brussels in the select few english section because the cover was intriguing and the back cover claimed it was a lesbian story. I was so excited, and imagine my absolutely hatred when I realized a straight cisgender man had written a “lesbian” story through the eyes of a straight male who is lusting after his lesbian best friend. He proclaims he gets boners at looking at her breasts and how her eccentric style only makes her that more beautiful just to him. I hate everything about this book. I wish straight cisgendered men would leave lesbian narrative stories alone unless you’re going to write them right. Get the fuck out of my books.

14. Fortunate Beasts: Letters to Lucardo Vol 2: 5/5 stars. The long waited and anticipated sequel to Letters to Lucardo!!! It’s been two years since I read the first volume, supported it on kickstarters, and I’m going to keep funding each release until the quadiology is complete! This had a lot less background building, exciting sex scenes, but you now understand the two lovers and get to see them develop their budding relationship. While it wasn’t as smut riddled as I expected, I was very happy with the continuation!

15. The little Lame Prince: 2/5 stars. DNF. Did not finish in case for those who don’t know/can’t remember (I hardly remember what DNF stands for myself). I’m torn as I want to eventually finish this book but I’m just not in the mood for it. It’s a sweet story but is very slow and from what I can tell, repeats itself a lot. It’s a old book from the early 1800s which explains the somewhat hard language and problematic moments, but it’s still charming. I’ll debate when I’ll try this again. For now, it’s returning to my shelves with a bookmark in the pages.

16. Shounen Houkokusho. 5/5 stars. A shounen-ai soft, wholesome gay family about a little boy standing up for his dad’s long time partner and asking them to get married. Very sweet. So precious. I love.

17. Same Difference and Other Stories: 4/5 stars. This was a reread from my friend Mark who gifted this to me back in december of 2014. It’s been 5 years since I picked up this book and I decided to see how its changed. As an adult, this comic speaks to me a lot louder than it did nearly half a decade ago. Struggling to find your way through life, seeing all your high school “friends” getting married, having jobs, meanwhile you’re just.. Here. Definitely a story I needed to revisit again in the future and also I still appreciate Mark’s notes he left in here for me!

18. Amazing Women: 101 Lives to Inspire you: 4/5 stars. This was my gift after finally being cut loose from the cancer clinic. I never had to go back there again and so I decided to pick up a momento. This was the book I chose that they offered. I really appreciate how they cover diverse women from all over the world rather than American-centric. They don’t go further than 1826, keping mostly within 200 years which is a bit of a bummer. There were also some choices I felt were questionable, like Zoe Sugg (who had her book ghost written and scams her viewers) and that they didn’t have Alison Bechendel was a huge disappointment. But this book is opinionated as they did have to narrow it down to 101 women, so I’m never going to be happy unless I pick my own. I also appreciated that if a diplomat was assassinated they mentioned it in the book.

19. The Epic of Gilgamesh: 5/5 stars. I learned about the Epic of Gilgamesh back when I was a itty-bitty sophomore in high school. I remember being so intrigued and would draw my gay ass characters as the Harlot and Endurk. I think I still have the drawings somewhere and they’re cringey. I bought the book and it’s been sitting on my shelf for YEARS. I did a deep clean of my bookshelves last night from 11:30 pm - 4:30 am, and this morning I just wanted to read since I haven’t been able to for months. I loved it! I love creation myths, old myths from “lost” cultures, plus the language was hella gay in this story. It’s a short 61 pages, so if you have like an hour or two and are in the mood for some myths baby, pick it up!

20. The Making of Pride and Prejudice: 4/5 stars. This book is chalked full of interviews from staff, actors, photos of the sets, and a bit too long section on the director and writers moaning about a script. I loved the photos of the behind the scenes and reading Colin Firth’s reluctancy to take, arguably, his most iconic role because he didn’t care for classical movies. Thought they were boring. Really a cool book to have if you’re a big Pride and Prejudice 1995 fan.

21. Greek Myths: 2/5 stars. I love the artwork in this book, but the author shows a lack of research when he writes the Roman names for the greek gods. I’m all fine with showing a Roman cultural story, but if you’re writing a Greek Myths story, BITCH use the Greek names!!! If it wasn’t for the artwork, this book would be traaash.

22. Wicked: 5/5 stars. I’ve been in a reading rut for almost a month where I’ve felt unmotivated to do anything. Since going back to brief counseling and getting my head on straight again, I’ve felt the motivation to read. I’m also doing the 2019 OWLS for a Wandmaker and this was one of my assignments. I absolutely loved Wicked. The musical came in last month and it reinvigorated my love for the show. I’ve been wanting to read the book, it’s been haunting me for awhile and I found a back of the Wicked series for 5 dollars at my library sale. Snatched that bitch up. I read this 408 pages in two weeks, probably would have in a week but school. God, I related so much to Elphaba. Not so much the whole, feeling like she has no soul, but taking school seriously and not making friends, coming from a religious family and rebelling, feeling like she’s responsible for her whole family, (not feeling like she’s attractive) and seeing her growth and becoming more comfortable with herself really made me feel better about myself? It’s a super dark book, but it’s great. It’s really great.

23. A Children’s Guide to the Night Sky: 4/5 stars. This was essentially the condensed and easier version of my Stars and Cosmology course I took two years ago!! I sped read this and some of the greek myths they described were dumb down/removed the queerness of it. Which is why I took off a whole star.

24. The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up: 5/5 stars. Hello Marie Kondo. Everyone is on a cleaning kick/obsessed with Marie Kondo. I liked this comic because it was short and also made her book in a bite size, story drive style. I liked its simplistic form!

25. Julian is a Mermaid: 5/5 stars. I’ve had my eye on this book for a year, ever since it was announced in Goodreads’ monthly list. I found the last copy and snatched it up. I like the muted colors, the art style, the different bodies, and letting little boys know it’s ok to dress up as mermaids or anything feminized. A great message!!!

26. Kiss Number 8: 5/5 stars. This is one of those random comics I saw in the new releases and the cover caught my eye. I read the first few pages and decided to buy it. I loved it as it’s a coming out story but the main story isn’t revolved around coming out. It’s about the complicated nature of family, coming out through the years, and trans themes. I know some people say this book and the characters are transphobic due to misgendering and dead names used, but the main character is catholic. Her family are mega catholic. She’s going to a catholic school. Of course there’s going to be misgendering and dead names used! It’s how people naturally react to news. If you’re super sensitive, I wouldn’t read this book, but I loved it to bits. I held it to my chest like I do rarely with those books that give you the warm feels.

27. Elephi - The Cat with the High IQ: 5/5 stars. This was a book I grabbed at a close down sale. It’s about Elephi who sees a small fiat car abandoned in the snow outside and decides to use his brains to get the car inside the fifth story apartment. The author really knows how cats act and I felt like all the mannerisms were perfect for a year old cat(kitten). Really a cute book that I read in 40 minutes??

28. One Happy Tiger: 4/5 stars. A book about a tiger counting friends. Cute. It’s a children’s book. Not too substantial in anything.

29. The Language of Thorns: 5/5 stars. Ok WOW. I bought this about a year ago during B&N’s signed deals where they just had a ton of books signed by the authors. I’ve seen this book floating around on BookTube for awhile and I decided to check it out at the bookstore. The illustrations sold me and I bought it. Imagine the already dark Grimm’s fairy tales, but darker. More context for the characters: Ursula, the Nutcracker, Hansel and Gretel but if Gretel was the only one at home. Really amazing stories and if you’re interested in dark, pretty illustrations that change with each page, pick it up!

30. Satoko and Nada vol 1: 5/5 stars. Ramona and I went to B&N yesterday, just sitting around like two useless gays reading a bunch of manga. This is one she picked out and told me to read it. You know me, as a white academic I am constantly on the lookout for narratives that aren’t white and can educate me. This was one of them! Satoko is from Japan while Nada is from Saudi Arabia, both are exchange students in the US. Their friendship, learning about each other’s cultures is so fucking cute. ;0;

31: I Hear the Sunspot vol 1: 4/5 stars. I docked this down from a 5 star rating because it just jumps into a established plot. I had no idea if this was a continuation from another series or if the author purposefully just threw us in the mix of an established gay relationship but they’re not really (they are but they’re confused) with some flashbacks that looks like it came from another volume? But despite those factors, the art is gorgeous. The characters are well developed and have complex background and stories to tell (one of the main characters has a degenerative hearing issue and will eventually become deaf).

32. Building Writing Center Assessments that Matter: 4/5 stars. This was a required text I had for a independent study I was a part of where I created a assessment of the climate of where I worked. This is a great resource in learning how to build assessments from scratch, and if you’ve never conducted one. I found the information they gave was limited to assessment of students who use the a writing center, while my assessment was more focused on how safe, valued, and heard those who currently work in the space feel. A great way to step into assessments!

33. Mary Ventura and the Ninth Kingdom: 4/5 stars. This was the first fictionalized piece of Slyvia Plath I’ve read. I can understand why it wasn’t published at first. There’s a lot of loose ends. Why was Mary going to the Ninth Kingdom? Why is everyone so placant in going to a “hell” type place? Also what the hell was the ending and her running away? This story left a lot to be answered, but I also love that about this short story.

34. Momo to Manji Vol 2: 5/5 stars. Volume two of one of my favorite historical yaoi mangas. It’s still hasn’t been fully translated just yet but I love it all the same!! So many complex characters, relationships!

35. Sweet Blue Flowers Vol 1. 5/5 stars. The first edition of a 5 volume series. Ramona told me to read this and I devoured the first book! Wholesome young girls falling in love with each other! Boyish girls who are heartthrobs! Unrequited love galore! Definitely going to check out the rest of the volumes!

36. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me: 5/5 stars. Man. This comic took me through a roller coaster of feelings. First it kind of made me miss the constant interactions I had with people in junior high and high school. It also reminded me heavily of my first gf and I wondered if she and her friends viewed me as Laura Dean (in terms of being too cool. I never cheated lmao. And always just out of reach). It made me melancholy for a younger me who was also hopeless in love with their best friend. It was a wild ride, but one I recommend wholeheartedly!

37. Lovable Lyle: 5/5 stars. I’ve been looking at this little crocodile for awhile and I’ve come to the conclusion he is me. This book was silly but heartwarming as Lyle is beloved but suddenly receives letters from his sworn enemy. They try to ignore it, but they are persistent until they catch the culprit. Fucking ridiculous story but I loved every second.

38. The Great American Pin-Up: 5/5 stars. It was really cool how they sectioned off each famous artist of pin-ups. Some of them were tasteful nudes, semi-nudes, or lingerie teasing moments. As someone who is both gay and used to draw pin-up girls, this is a great reference!!!!

39. Drawing the R.A.F.: 5/5 stars. This book is one of those rarer finds. A british artist was commissioned to draw the officers of the R.A.F. in the middle of World War II. Some portraits are far better than others, but the worser ones are attached with amazing stories. Such as a 6”6’ pilot having to be physically shoved in a spitfire. These are fantastic and the art work is really beautiful.

40. Where’s Will? 4/5 stars. Where’s Will is a William Shakespeare version of Where’s Waldo. The art is beautiful and the hidden characters are extremely clever. However, I remember so often spending hours upon hours trying to find Waldo and the extreme satisfaction of finally finding him. Where’s Will I could find him within 5 minutes. It never went long enough to the point I feel worn and frustrated and finding several more interesting characters. He stood out more than he should and I flew through this book that Waldo would find insulting! But the illustrations are beautiful!

41. Carr’s Pocket Books - Florence Nightingale: 4/5 stars. This mini collection of Nightingale’s journals throughout her life is really interesting. As a woman who revolutionized what it meant to be a nurse and nurse practices, it was nice to see her own words from age 9 to 90. She was an elegant little girl with her writing and she showed wisdom beyond her years. Did I learn anything substantial about her work? No. But I did come to know her on a far more personal level that I appreciate.

42. Carr’s Pocket Books - How Horatius Kept the Bridge: 5/5 stars. Another one of these small pocket sized books I bought in Oundle, England. I don’t know why, but I’ve just been desperate to go through my books and get rid of any and all that don’t speak to me anymore. I also just want to read, a lot. This was part of my kick this week, trying to get through as many as possible. This poem story is about Roman soldier Horatius and how he single handedly took the Bridge against the Greeks. It’s a military triumphant, silly, and mystical, but I really enjoyed the structure of it. It was short and sweet.

43. Echoland: 3.5/5 stars. Echoland follows Arvid, a 12 year old Norwegian boy who visits his grandparents in Denmark for the summer. However, he’s growing up and he’s realizing that his parents are strained for some reason, his sister is too grown for him, and his grandparents are getting older. This book was confusing. It was short, quick, and I think younger children would enjoy this book more than me. It deals with more adult themes but through the eyes of a 12 year old. However, I found a lot of the storyline to be confusing: Why does Arvid not want to be touched? Why are his parents fighting?? Why does he hate all the men in his family? Why is he pushing everyone away? Why are his parents putting up with his attitude? There are a LOT of questions I have and there’s no real answer to be found. Maybe it’s the author’s style, but I found the story to be not as believable, but still enjoyable.

44. Mathilda. 2.5/5 stars. Mathilda was an audiobook I listened to as I suddenly got a migraine at around 6 pm and it didn’t let up until around midnight. The last three hours I’ve been listening to it. I thought this was Matilda from Roald Dahl but was instead by Mary Shelley herself. This was a very bizarre story. I really enjoyed the first half of the story which is about Mathilda writing a final letter to her best friend upon her deathbed. She’s retelling him her tragic story and how the death of her father was her fault. Her childhood was very bleak, touch starved as her mother died and her father abandoned her to his half sister. Her half sister wasn’t warm to her and saw her as a pest, which had Mathilda growing up til she was 16 without a father. Suddenly her father decided to return and within 2 months of his return her aunt dies, and now she’s in his custody. At first everything is fine, until her father starts to lash out at her and is very distant. He at first wants Mathilda to replace her mother and then rejects the idea. They go for a walk and Mathilda presses her father to tell her his deep secret and why he hates her all of a sudden. He refuses until she presses on and then he tells her that he lusts for her. She freaks out, he almost dies in the woods from shame, and then he leaves the next morning. Mathilda is then angry because SHE wanted to leave her father, but because he’s abandoning her again she chases after him. She finds him dead in a hotel room and then Mathilda begins to resent life and living. The story was great up until she decides to chase her father after he leaves her. It became a jumbled mess and Mathilda herself says her mind is a little mad with her decisions. The story started off as an intrigue with beauty descriptions, intense, and then just went bat shit crazy. The story ended on beautiful reflections on nature and how death is not beautiful for those living, but it really lost me. The last hour was a drag. I would definitely suggest listening to it if you have a migraine!

45. Megume to Tsugumi: 5/5 stars. Gay comic, lmao.

46. Golden Sparkle: 5/5 stars. I don’t remember the plot but it was cute.

47. Maltese Falcon: 2/5 stars. I was forced to read this for a film and literature class. Everyone was ranting and raving how the main character should be a male role model but that’s extremely stupid. Look, I love bad male representation (looking at you James Bond), but he was just trash. I get this is a famous crime novel, but GOD. It’s bad.

48. Maiden & Princess: 5/5 stars. This was about a maiden going to a ball who everyone thought she would marry the Prince. Except she and the Prince are best friends and she really fell in love with his sister. We love pride month books!

49. Prince & Knight: 5/5 stars. A gender-swap of Maiden & Princess except this was a Prince who goes off to slay a dragon to save his kingdom only to fall in love with a knight and marry him. SO GOOD.

50. Komi Can’t Communicate, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. My friend Ramona told me to read this volume since she read it and loved it. While I loved the art and Komi, the story line was just a tad flat for me. It’s a really fun series if you like high school semi-romance but mostly heavy on friendship~!

51. What was Stonewall? 3/5 stars. This was one of those children informative books where they retell a piece of history. I thought this was great for children who know nothing about Stonewall but are hearing it from Drag Queens or in June for Pride History Month. I thought the information about Stonewall was short and concise and also good for children, however the book did verge off point and talk about other points of history as well as random actors who are gay. This is good, but it isn’t Stone wall, you know?

52. Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag: 4/5 stars. I watched Milk and I cried at the end. I’ve been wanting to know more about how Milk created our Pride Flag and this was another one of those books where it’s curated for children. So I appreciate the run down version it gives us, but they had to “modify” what the stripes mean, such as purple being Sexuality. Let kids hear the unfiltered truth!

53. TBH #1: TBH, This Is So Awkward: 4/5 stars. This was in the teen new released section and it’s a book of text messages. I hated this book, but also was way too invested in it when I was reading it out loud to my date. It’s just a bunch of middle school people sending love notes, getting the Valentine’s Day dance cancelled because they won’t stop using their phone and their principal said “Social Decency.” And then it ended by one of the girls bringing the valentine’s day dance back by creating a Task Force to enforce no texting during school. It was fucking wild and I loved every page I flipped through and wrote in.

54. Adaptations from Short Story to Big Screen: 4/5 stars. I liked it well enough, it was a textbook so I didn’t really read the stories in-depth. However, there are two stories I absolutely love which are Field of Dreams and Smoke Signals.

55. Our Father Who Art in a Tree: 5/5. I loved this book. It’s very true to the experience of what it’s like to be depressed and the first few months of deep grief. While I didn’t lose my parent until my teenage years and my brothers were older, but the strained relationships grief causes is so fucking poignant.

56. Little Miss P: 5/5 stars. I know it’s strange, because it’s a man writing a book about periods, but this was an excellent book. It really showcased the love-hate relationship women have with their periods and also sometimes accurate representations of what it feels like.

57. Ginza Neon Paradise: 4/5 stars. I don’t remember reading this manga! (I’m updating my book list after some months)

58. Na Leo I Ka Makani/Voices on the Wind: 5/5 stars. A book of history and photos of native Hawaiians, royals, and other cultural aspects important to the island. Some really cool photos.

59. Satoko & Nada vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Satoko and Nada are back again, continuing on with their studies and friendship. This book still continues to teach westerners some cool Eastern values while the main characters are learning about each other as well. I think the 3rd volume will come out soonish and that might be the end!!! I love this little series!

60. Annie on My Mind: 5/5 stars. One of the first lesbian novels to show a happy ending with the characters. It’s very much a high school love story and first real love. There were some parts of the story that were absolutely aggravating, painfully embarrassing, but also really heart warming. It’s a queer foundational book in literature, and if you’re interested in the history of queer literature, this should be on your list.

61. Killing Stalking: 5/5 stars. The comic finally ended. I started reading it in 2016 and finished in 2019. God was it a ride. It was full of conflicting feelings, creepiness, and an ending that leaves the reader confused, fulfilled, and also not fulfilled at the same time. I wouldn’t suggest reading it for those who are squeamish with gore, violence, and dark sexual themes, but it’s a fantastic read into what it’s like to experience stockholm syndrome and intense violent trauma.

62. Go for it, Nakamura!: 5/5 stars. A high school student falls in love with his popular classmate, but his classmate doesn’t know he exists! A cute gay book about falling in love, making friends, and pushing yourself to achieve your goals!

63. The Great Gatsby: 4/5 stars. The next two books are books I listened to while deep cleaning my room. It took me two days to fully clean my room, and this was also a challenge for my N.E.W.T.S 2019. I remember reading this book in high school and liking, and I think I lent out my copy and never saw it again. I bought it recently and decided to give it a re-read/listen. I think reading the book would have made it more engaging to me, but I found the themes to not be as impressive as an adult. Maybe it’s because I can’t relate to the characters or their choices are so dumb that I just can’t believe it anymore, but it was still entertaining to listen to. The narrator was great!

64. Emma (Narrated by Emma Thompson): 5/5 stars. This feels a bit like cheating because this rendition was not only abridged, but also had live actors. I’m very familiar with Emma, and Emma Thompson as the narrator was a genius move. However, do I feel like I read/listened to Emma? Not really.

65. Fresh Romance, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. Half of the stories were very confusing and not very good. However, I really loved two stories about a Regency marriage and a spin off of Beauty and the Beast. I would read this volume just for those additions.

66. Pilu of the Woods: 5/5 stars. A cute story about emotions, friendship, and the woods. It even has a recipe on the back I want to read it!! The colors and characters are adorable. The storyline might not be as solid, but it’s a great read!

67. Ou-same to Puppy Love: 5/5 stars. A foreign prince falls in love with a neat-freak government official. Queue stupid boys in love!

68. Sugar Days: 5/5 stars. Childhood best friends, one small and manly, one tall and feminine, both love each other without having the courage to tell the other!!!! Very cute!!!!!

69. The Tea Dragon Society: 5/5 stars. I remember seeing this book a year ago and how everyone was ranting and raving about it. However, I never bought it or saw it. My best friend brought it over the other day for me to read and I could finally see what the fuss was about. QUEER CHARACTERS, LITTLE DRAGONS WITH TEA LEAVES GROWING OFF OF THEM, MULTIPLE REPRESENTATION!!!! IT’S SO GOOOOOD!

70. Luminous Animal: 5/5 stars. A jazz poetry book. It’s interesting how Tony Moffeit can write the same theme over and over, with the same lines but in different poems with different perspectives. It was really cool!

71. Still Mostly True: 5/5 stars. A weird poetry book that has philosophy and deep meaning poems with also weird ass drawings. However, my poetry book had inscriptions from someone else to their friend. The inscriptions were sometimes very annoying, but also kind of heartwarming how this friend made sure her friend knew she was thinking of her and loving her.

72. Sky, Wind, and Stars. 5/5 stars. A poetry book that was a Korean activist who was murdered by the Japanese through medical experiments for his radical poetry. We watched the movie in my Korean History through film class, and I loved it to bits I wanted to read his poetry. The movie downplayed just how radical his poetry was. Even as a English speaker, I can clearly see the activism, Korean pride that was written during the Japanese occupation. It was a wonderful poetry book, and an important one to Koreans at that. If you have the chance to read it, please do.

73. Memoirs of a Geisha: 5/5 stars. Haley (one of my bffs) recommended me this book like 3 years ago. It’s her favorite and I kept saying I would read it. August was the N.E.W.T.S. challenge and this fit the category of “audiobook” as I listened to a fan read audio of it and then had to read the last 7 chapters. I completely see where my friend finds inspiration in her writing from this book! I really loved the sad story, the harsh reality of Japan, even if this book was more on the idealized version of WWII in Japan and how Geishas were. Some of the thinking of Chiyo I feel could be chalked up to white men ideal sexualization, but overall I really enjoyed this book! Plus the fan who read it was really into her characters and she made the experience really fun.

74. Be Prepared: 5/5 stars. When you’re poor, Russian, and have the All-American-Girls as your best friends, life is extremely hard. No one likes your Russian food, the smallness of your home, and listening to a language not their own. VERA NEEDS SOME FUCKING NEW FRIENDS. As someone whose best friend is Russian, has a sister-in-law who is Russian, and a nephew learning to speak Russian, some people are really insensitive and it drives me nuts. I know a lot of people are upset with this book because it’s not a “full memoir” and yet is described as a memoir. I’ll just pose the question, can you remember 1 month straight at 10 years old, from people to dialogue? No? Yeah, cut the book some slack. This has great representation in terms of Russian culture and learning through it from little Russian eyes.

75. Kiraide Isasete: 5/5 stars. It’s another gay manga.

76. I married my best friend to shut up my parents: 4/5 stars. While I appreciate this story is light-hearted, it seems a bit far fetched for my taste. Also the main character doesn’t believe she’s gay, so I find it hard that a) she would actually get married and b) would just readily fall in love with her friend when she’s literally had no sexual desire for anyone. But other than that, it’s a ridiculous love story and it’s to the point!

78. Heartstopper V.2: 5/5 stars. I already read this awhile ago but I finally got my copy! So I’m just putting it in my list!

79. Raven: 5/5 stars. Raven is the first installment of the origins of the Teen Titans characters. I really loved this novel since Raven has always been a dark character in the original show. This book explores her experience with death, coming to terms with her birth origins, and New Orleans with ancient magic. A great start to a series I’m looking forward to reading the rest of!

80. Heartless. 4/5 stars. A child is taken care of by a succubus (male) after a religious cult burns down a hospital to get rid of the succubus. This story is intense in the gore and horror, but pretty light in plot. There’s no real driving force behind the characters and what they do, no explanation, it’s all just there for the reader to assume it just happened. But the characters were dynamic and interesting with superhuman powers and abilities.

81. The Adventure Zone Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Every time I see Madame Director I sigh in relief because she exactly looks how I envisioned her while listening to the podcast many years ago. The story line is short, I feel like some of the build up jokes are lost or the frustration Griffin has with his brothers and dad that make the podcast so hilarious are missing, but it’s a really beautiful comic and also a great way for people to start listening to TAZ and MBMBAM

82: The Wind in the Willow: 4/5 stars. An audiobook I listened to. I had the paperback but it was too much reading for my mind for a classic children book. When I found the option on Libby, I listened to it as I started my preparations for the start of my final semester as an undergraduate! It went by fast, the actors were in their characters and there were some songs performed. I really enjoyed it, even if Mr. Toad is ANNOYING AS FUCK. Would recommend for those wanting to kill 2 hours of their time.

83. Classmates: 5/5 stars. High school sweethearts? Can’t express their feelings well? Uh, sign me the FUCK uP.

84-108. W Juliet: 5/5 stars. I haven’t read W Juliet since I was in 7th grade. I remember that I loved it so much that when I was in high school I began collecting the volumes and proudly put it on my shelf. I used to have two bookshelves worth of manga, and when I grew older I sold them but only kept two series: Marmalade Boy and W Juliet (I’m gonna read Marmalade Boy next). I’ve been wanting to reread W Juliet recent and revisit Mako and Ito’s silliness, and with the long weekend I did. I was not prepared for the analysis it would give me to my own life. Like, holy shit. This manga series was so important in developing me who I was as a kid, (some of them very mild kinks that my rp friends are subjected to), the loss Ito has and her issues with gender and like 100000% me and how I don’t like masculine guys at all with their toxicity (hello Mako, you summer child boy). I honestly want to do a fucking research paper on this series with an analysis of myself because of how much I love this series and how I connect to it. You can bet your ass this manga is coming with me for the rest of my life.

109-117. Marmalade Boy: 3/5 stars. Marmalade Boy was the manga that started it all. I remember being 8, having found the manga section with my best friend, and we decided to share reading Marmalade Boy. I was so captivated by the story that I made her wait in the car at her house, refusing to let her have the book until I finished it. It was the final of the volume, and it wouldn’t be another 3 years until I read the series OUT OF ORDER. I kept rereading this series, picking it up, I remember it felt like watching a movie. As an adult? God this series is really awful. The characters are very annoying, the teacher is very creepy, the plot moves WAY too quickly, and no one knows what consent is. It’s fucking insane. 1-7 volume is trash, but the 8th volume really put to life in the characters. For one, they’re older, it's been a few years, and they can step back from the crazy lives of high school. If it wasn’t for the sheer nostalgia, I would be giving these books away. But you gotta pay respect to those books that introduced you to life changing moments.

118. Ouji to Kotori. 4/5 stars. An art student, a prince who buys him, trying to escape, foreign lands, a story that has a “romantic” but is open ended. I liked the flow of the story, the art, and the characters were actually believable.

119. Mean Girls Club. 3.5/5 stars. Mean Girls Club is a 1950s tale of girls rising against the patriarchy through sex, survivor, drugs, and murder. The art style is amazing. But the story line is flat and feels rushed. Not a favorite, but still pretty enjoyable.

120. Grumpy Monkey. 5/5 stars. Grumpy Monkey is the story of a monkey who wakes up grumpy. Despite everyone not believing he can be so grumpy on a beautiful day, him denying that he’s grumpy, and getting angry at people telling him HE’S grumpy, is such a goddamn mood. Nothing pisses me off more than people telling me my mood. You don’t know me. Fuck off. Anyways, this also felt like a mental health book for kids, letting them know it's ok to NOT feel ok. As long as someone is willing to listen and not wanting to fix your grumpiness.

121. Dia de los Muertos. 4/5 stars. A children’s informational book about the Day of the Dead. Short, simple, great education.

123. Wild Cherry. 4/5 stars. Wild Cherry is a poetry book I’ve been totting around for 2 months but have had no energy to pick it up. I’ve been very depressed that I haven’t had time to read, and despite me falling asleep right now, I forced myself to read it. It felt very repetitive after a while with her constant calling back to long lost love, death, and April, but I appreciated the 1923 themes that were NO doubt soo popular.

124. Through the Woods: 5/5 stars. A horror comic book that reminds me a lot of “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.” I lent it to my co-worker since he loves these types of stories!

125. Dancing with Mr. Darcy: 1/5 stars. I read the first story which was Jane Austen crossing the River Styx and facing her judgement and then I tried to read the rest and it was all so fucking boring??? I put the book down and will not be continuing.

126. The Night Diary: 5/5 stars. So this was an audiobook I listened to during the week I had awful vertigo. I couldn’t go to work or university and I laid on the couch, glasses off, just listening to this story. If it hadn’t been read to me, I don’t think I would have loved it as much. It follows Nisha who is forced to leave after WWII when India is split into New India and Pakistan. All muslims are allowed to stay, but all Hindus must leave for New India because of territorial wars. It follows the dreadful path during the desert, the violence they faced, and the child’s innocence slowly being robbed from her. It’s all told through Nisha’s diary who pens it to her mother. The voice actor did a wonderful job.

127. We Contain Multitudes: 5/5 stars. Tiny twink nerd falls in love with Giant Jock football star. And then he falls in love with the nerd and they’re hormonal and coming out and angst with love. I understand why people are upset with the novel: the plot twist seems like a total cop out that the author placed and a 15 year old dating a 18 year old can get borderline statutoary rape. However, I absolutely loved this book. It was refreshing to have a “coming out” narrative that wasn’t focused on coming out, but rather these two boys falling in love through letters, reading the cringe of HS romances, and desperately following these boys through it all. It’s definitely a favorite I read this year!

128. Lovely War: 4/5 stars. This is the third book I read while going through vertigo, and my second audiobook. It’s set during WWI, following two love narratives but told through the perspectives of the Greek God. It was really refreshing, the voice acting was excellent, and I really enjoyed listening while dizzy constantly. I would have given in a 5 star rating, but near the end, Hazel’s pixie-manic girl stereotype was getting out of hand and her hypocrisy was really fucking annoying. However, up until that point, I really enjoyed it and recommended it to several friends!

129. The Assassination of Brangwain Spurge: 4.5/5 stars. I really struggled not giving this book five stars, but I thought some of the narration and story-telling could have done a tiny bit better. This was a great audiobook to listen to while I packed and finished projects before my plane ride to my first ever work conference. I was bummed out that I couldn’t listen to this audiobook on the plane because Libby requires wifi, but I really enjoyed the fantasy comedy of this book (even though fantasy tends to be a topic I don’t dare approach because it just through you into a world with no explanation). 10/10 would recommend to strangers on the street.

130. Aaron and Ahmed: 4/5 stars. I read this books during my great “aaaAH I’M GRADUATING TIME IS UNREAL” So these will be short. A story about after 9/11 and the brutality American soldiers went to gain answers, even if there were none.

131. The Tea Dragon Festival: 5/5 stars. Dragons? Tea? LGTB+? Who could ask for more??

132. Roadqueen: Eternal Roadtrip to Love: 5/5 stars. Lesbians calling out how trashy other lesbians treat girls who generally like them. “Fuck Boy” was used a lot and I loved this.

133. Skull-face Bookseller vol. 1: 5/5 stars. A skeleton tries to sell manga and explores the crazy customers who come in, the social mistakes foreigners make with Japanese booksellers, and Honda-san doing her best to survive in her job.

134-136. Beastars Vol 1-3: 5/5 stars. I saw a bit of the anime and realized there was a manga. I bought the two volumes I could and then the third one from amazon. I really enjoyed this series and look forward to reading it more!

137. I hear the Sunspot Vol 2: 5/5 stars. It’s nice to see the couple going on, even if its GUT-WRENCHING and stupid how they refuse to communicate!!!!! But it hits hard topics of the community for the hard of hearing and functioning in a world where signing is considered not important enough to teach.

138. Pink: 5/5 stars. A sex worker who spends all her money feeding her alligator and the trouble she gets into. Weird art style and at first I opened this book and didn’t buy it. 3 months later, decided to buy it and I adored it.

139: Restless: 4/5 stars. I don’t remember much about it, but I think it was cute. Maybe boyfriends find each other again?

140. How can one sell the air?: 5/5 stars. I’ve had this “calling” to start really reading native american stories and heritage. This is a controversial book with Suquamish people as they either see their leader finally giving up or instilling courage to stay firm even as the world does their best to destroy them. I really enjoyed reading his speech.

141. Skull-face Bookseller Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Honda-san comes back again with her friends and exploring working in the shop with more crazy customers but also with her new found fame being a manga artist.

142. Gold Rush Women: 4/5 stars. A lot of white women with these narratives, which was disappointing since most of the Gold Rush Women were indegenious or came from other areas of the world rather than just Europe or East America. Wish there were more stories on the black, mexican, indegineous, or chinese women who were forced into slavery or abused or helped create the west.

143. No one is too small to make a difference: 5/5 stars. Greta Thornberg amazes me. Here we have a 15 year old with aspergers who is doing her best to inspire scientists, politicians, and anyone in the world to take charge of our climate change issues. It also amazes me how many people are threatened by a 15 year old and she’s forced to repeat herself in her speeches because people refuse to listen to what she has to say. She’s amazing.

144. Ookami he no Yomeiri: 3.5/5 stars A bunny and a wolf get married. What more can I say?

145. Monody: 3/5 stars: Monody is a strange poetry book. The lyrical writing leaves lacking in terms of uniqueness and deep thought, but aesthetically it is beautiful. Blue font paired with geographical maps of Reno, Nevada, the poetry book comes off more of an art piece.

146. Usagi no Mori: 3/5 stars. Uhmmm. Don’t remember…

#2019 books #2019 book reviews #2019 book list #book reviews

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otterbeesfanficblog · 6 years

Text

Something Different {Markus X Android Reader}

CHAPTER 1: A Spark Like No Other

A/N: If you had read my other post, this is one of the stories I will be writing. Reader is the Android next door to Markus, both owners being very good friends. Readers owner is a photographer, and like Markus, Reader was a prototype gift from Kamski. I’m not sure how many Chapters of this I will be doing right now, but I will find out for the next chapter. In any case, I hope you enjoy!

EDIT: Got all the chapters for you guys. There’s a lot... I’ll edit in links when they are posted.

Chapter 2: Never Seen You Through My Eyes Chapter 3: The Lonely Chapter 4: City Of The Dead Chapter 5: Pick A Star In The Dark And Follow The Light Chapter 6: What’s Gonna Be Left Of The World If You’re Not In It? Chapter 7: Love and Hate Are Beasts... Chapter 8: She Depends On You Chapter 9: Pictures We’re Living Through For Now Chapter 10: The Precipice Of Change Chapter 11: Raise A Glass To Freedom

Date: Nov 4th, 2038 Time: AM 05:24:28

The house was cleaned, clothes washed along with dishes, plants were watered inside the house, coffee was prepped, breakfast was finished, and all that’s left is the garden.

You always did leave the best for last.

Maybe it was the intended way Kamski made you, but you have always been most comfortable in places that were filled with all types of beauty and color. The garden owned by your owner, Aeron Raynott, was one such thing.

Aeron was a 28-year-old famous photographer, his pictures were known around the world, ranging from portraits to landscapes, panoramic photos, and so many more. He was a creative young man, ambitious, stubborn as a mule and known to not fear to speak his mind. Some called him an arrogant child, but many called him a genius.

Despite what the outside world sees and hears about him, you know him quite differently. He treated you well, very well. He always forgets that you aren’t human, often buying two meals when he was out for a day, only coming back to you telling him you didn’t require food. He says that your eye’s reminded him that of baby animals.

One day he told you that you had the eyes of an owl, big eyes filled with wonder, curiosity, and wisdom. He asked if you “Liked your eyes”, at first you only tilted your head to the side, telling him that ‘Like’ is a feeling, and that androids don’t have the ability to form opinions.

He had left it at that for that day, but ever since, he had not stopped trying to get you to feel something. In vain attempt of course, only getting smiles from you.

He thought of you as his best friend, he had told you this many times, and you were his #1 model. If he ever needed a model for a picture, he would beg you to do it. Even though you had told him many times that, no matter what, you would do what he told you to do.

Aeron was sleeping after having stayed up late editing pictures and picking which ones to present in the upcoming art exhibit, finally at 12:46 am you had convinced him to rest.

You found that your mind wonders whenever you were out in nature, seeing all the colors made your LED glow a pretty sky blue.

You were literally made to fit all of Aerons needs, Kamski made it very clear when making you that he wanted you to be different.

So, you were made to be creative, to be able to see everything in every little detail. You could zoom in with your eyes, and you could connect yourself to Aeron’s camera so he could take pictures through your eyes.

He did this a lot, not because it made him money, in fact, he almost never shows anyone pictures he takes with your eyes. He just loves the way you see things, he says he’s honored to even have the chance to see through your eyes.

The only person he has even shown those pictures to was the great Carl Manfred, your neighbor.

And of course his android, Markus.

You and Markus were close, as close as androids can get to another that is, and Carl and Aeron seemed to love having you two together.

Almost every day you two ‘run into’ each other while doing chores.

Speaking of which, you could feel his eyes on you at this very moment.

“Good morning, Markus.”

You say without turning to him, have been picking weeds out of some of the flower bushes. You spoke quietly, but no matter what low a volume you spoke, Markus always seemed to hear it.

“Good morning, Y/N. You are up earlier than usual.”

A soft smile is placed on your lips as you pick up the small bucket of weeds and turn to him.

He wore his normal dark clothing, his soft green eyes looked at you with what you can only assume is curiosity. You walk over to him slowly, the hedge that separated the yards being high enough for you to gently lay your arms on it, resting your head lightly on your arms and smiling up at him.

“Aeron was up late last night, knowing him, he will be up soon.”

“Again? How late this time?”

“12:46 am, unfortunately.”

Markus gave a small smile and shook his head.

“That late, huh? I have to say, you might be getting worse at being a caretaker that soon I’ll have to take over for you.”

You toss a few weeds at him over the hedge and turn away, going over to a bush you hadn’t started as you could hear Markus scuff a laugh.

“Will he be awake enough to meet with Carl today?”

You look over at Markus through your lashes, a smile gracing your face as you close your eyes and go back to the bush.

“I should think so.”

After this, a comfortable silence fell over you two, as Markus and you cleaned and cared for your respective gardens. You finished sooner and were now sitting upon a large rock in the big koi fish pond, and now you simply watched as they swam.

You had taken your shoes off and lightly tapped your toes on the top of the water, watching as the koi swam under your feet, brushing up against you.

You were lost in your own little world that you hadn’t seen Markus leave, or heard Aeron call you, then see you in the pond, and run back into the house, and come back out with his camera.

The click of said camera was what made you jump, turning your head and looking like a dear in the headlights as Aeron took several more pictures.

You smiled and let out a ‘breath’ of air.

“Aeron..”

“One more, one more, I promise!”

“Whenever you say ‘ one more’, you take 30 more.”

Aeron smiles at you from behind his camera.

“Okay, okay, one last one, I promise. I just need you to look into the pond as if you were dreaming again,” He knelt close to the edge of the pond, looking at you through the camera as he kept his ‘encouraging’ speech going.

“Look into it as if you see what you have always wanted. Longing for it, yearning for it!”

You do as he asks, looking dreamily into the pond. You weren’t really thinking of anything, much to Aeron's disappointment, it was very apparent on your face.

But as promised, he took one more pictured and helped you out of the pond.

You smile up at him and give him your automatic greeting for the day.

“Good morning, Aeron. Are you ready to start the day?”

*****************

Date: Nov 4th, 2038 Time: PM 06:05:01

“Leave the poor kids alone, Aeron, don’t you have enough pictures?”

You and Markus stand side by side as Aeron takes a few more pictures then turns to Carl, giving a look that made Carl laugh as Aeron whined.

“But Carl look at them! They are the epitome of perfection!! I’m surprised you haven’t painted at least Markus a few times. I know I would, I mean, look at him!”

It was at this point Aeron took a hold of Markus’ face, surprising both androids as he practically marvels at Markus’ face. Carl was shaking his head, watching as poor Markus had to endure having his face played with.

“Look at this beautiful, beautiful jaw line. And! And! Those strong green eyes that just pierce your soul! The perfection of his brows! UGH! And don’t get me started on the skin! Ugh, beautiful. Lovely freckles dotting his face, just in the right place just. Mmm, stunning. Perfect. Brilliant. You’re beautiful Markus, absolutely stunning.”

“Yeah, I see that you are making the poor boy incredibly uncomfortable.”

Aeron rolls his eyes and lets Markus go.

“Sorry Markus, you’re just so pretty. A perfect boy.”

“Uhm... Thank you?”

You look down at the ground smiling, a weird tingling in your chest as you watch Markus readjust himself and look at you again. The look on Markus’ face was too much for you as you put a hand up to your mouth, to poorly cover up your giggles.

Carl and Aeron got into another conversation, you and Markus simply standing idly by. It was then when Carl looked at you both and sighed.

“You two don’t have to stand and listen to us chat this whole time. Go on, go. Go find something to do while we chat.”

Markus nodded right away, but you were hesitant. Aeron chuckled and waved his hand to shoo you away.

“Go on, Y/N. You’ve been with Markus before, he won’t bite.”

You feel your thirium pump sped up when Markus turned to you.

“Why don’t we practice more piano?”

“That’s a great idea, Markus.” Carl nodded. “You two go on inside, Aeron will go get you if we need anything.”

With that, you nod and follow Markus into his and Carl’s home.

You had been in this house many times, and you had mapped it out since the third time you visited. So, you felt no shyness when being greeted by the house. Despite being here many times before, you still love to look at all the beautiful things in the house. You loved the birds in the front, and you adored the ceiling in the living room/dining room. Of course, the place you had loved to be to most was Carl’s studio.

Aeron’s studio was like Carl’s, with the wide open space and the big glass windows. Both places made you smile from ear to ear, but there was something about Carl’s that made you feel... warm?

Aeron’s had a feeling of being everywhere and everything all at once, something to awe at. And it’s not to say you didn’t feel comfortable in Aeron’s space, it was simply that you know what it’s like to be in awe of everything all the time.

You were programmed to take in over 7 billion things at once.

But, in Carl’s studio, you could... stop.

You could take in the simple things.

That’s one thing you liked about Markus as well, he made it so easy to be in awe of the little things that make life interesting.

Like, take now for instance.

You sit next to him on the stool of the piano and watch him play, and somehow he makes it very obvious that every key is important, that every note is important to form a song.

Markus made the little thing so important, so special.

You wish you could stop seeing the big picture all the time, and see the small picture. You wish you could be like Markus, to be simple and yet...

So, perfect.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You blink a few times before looking up at Markus, sitting side by side, it was difficult to not brush your shoulders together. That warm, tingling feeling came into your chest again as you looking into Markus’ eyes, only then seeing his LED flashing yellow.

“I’m sorry,” You shake your head. “I was... lost in thought.”

“About?”

“Hm?”

Markus turned his body a bit to face you a little more, showing all of his attention was on you. For some reason, that made your body feel hot, causing your cooling fans to work a bit faster.

“What were you thinking about?”

“I was thinking about how perfect you are.”

You quickly choose not to say what was on your mind as you turn back to the piano.

“I was wondering... how you manage to make it look so easy.”

Deep down, you knew Markus won’t fall for that answer, and the flashing yellow of his LED made that clear. But soon enough it turned back to sky blue as he dropped the issue, turning to the piano again.

“Well, it’s not as hard as you think. Here, play this on your side.”

Markus then played three keys on the low scale side of the piano, you copying him on the high keys.

Markus then played four more different keys, and you copied again. Markus then played four keys at the same time moved to another four keys.

This is when you gave him a look, to which he responded with a laugh and a smile.

“Look, it's not that hard-”

“It sounds hard.”

Markus shook his head with a smile.

“Look, I’ll show you. Just put your fingers-”

Before he could finish, he went to touch your hands to move them to the right spot, but something strange happened.

A surge of electricity shot through both your hands, making a blue spark appear between both you and Markus’ fingertips. This made you both jump up and stand up, you yelped and Markus gasped. The stool tipped over by how fast both of you stood up, making a rather loud thud.

Both of you felt something, both feeling a strange fuzzy feeling, it traveled from your hand up your arm and all through your bodies. You both visibly shiver from this feeling, then look at each other in shock.

“What... what was that?”

Your voice was low as you held your hand to your chest, Markus shook his head looking at his own hand.

“I’m not... quite sure what that was. It felt...”

“Strange...” You finished, looking at him with slight fear but mild curiosity.

Both of you had the same idea, as you slowly extend your hands to one another. As you go to touch the other, the skin on your hands fades, leaving behind the white porcelain fingers and palms.

Soon your fingertips touch again, no spark this time, but the warm feeling was very obvious. As you touched, a blue-ish huge starts to show on all the places your hands connected, and the warm feeling soon traveled from your hand to your wrist.

And from your wrist to your elbow, all the while, your skin disappeared more and more till nothing but white was your arm. Both you and Markus were in a trance by this, and suddenly you started to see things.

Not things, memories.

But, these memories were not yours.

You saw Carl and watched him paint, and eat, and you cooked and cleaned...

And then you saw yourself. In the garden behind your house. From this morning.

Soon enough it was too much and you snatched your hand away from Markus, gasping and holding your hand back to your chest as the skin of your arm went back to its S/C tone.

You were staring at Markus with wide eyes, as he stared back at you, not nearly having the same face of fear as you.

“I saw... I saw your memories.”

He spoke quietly, a lot softer and low than he ever had before.

You nod.

“I saw your’s too... With Carl and... and him painting and...”

“I saw me.” Markus tilted his head at you. “I saw me as if looking throw a mirror, it was like... watching myself in a movie. I saw myself walking and talking as clear as day... Did you... Did you see yourself too? Through my eyes?”

All you could do was nod, your stress was getting higher and higher, turning your LED into a blood red color. This is what brought Markus out of his daze, as he stepped forward to you.

“Y/N, I-”

You stepped back from his outstretched hand.

You were confused, and in awe, but most of all.

You were scared.

“Markus, Y/N? Are you two alright? We heard a noise.”

Carl was being wheeled in by Aeron, both the young man and the old man having concerned faces for the frightened looking androids. Markus was smart enough to cover for both of you.

“We were just playing and... we got up to go check on you both and the stool fell over. That’s all.”

Carl nor Aeron seemed convinced, but you nodded your head to agree with Markus. You didn't trust your voice enough to speak, so all you could do was nod.

“Well... Aeron was just about to leave, we came back in to get Y/N.”

Soon enough, you shook off your fears, your LED going back to its sky blue, and you nod.

“Of course, we shall be on our way then. Aeron, you have many calls to make as well.”

Aeron nodded slowly, then started making his way to the exit, you following close behind. Aeron said his goodbye to Carl and Markus, Carl doing the same to you and Aeron. And just as you were closing the door behind you, you heard something.

Someone, in your head.

Markus.

“Please... Meet me tonight when Aeron is asleep.”

You look back at Markus one last time, before closing the door behind you.

#detroit become human #detroit : become human #dbh markus #dbh markus x reader #x reader #dbh imagine #markus x reader #markus x reader android #reader android #fluff #slow burn #detroit become human imagine #something different

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