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abyssruler · 1 year

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flowers and unplanned proposals

xiao x gn!reader

if someone gifts an adeptus with flowers, it means you are proposing to them, and if they take it, it means they accept the proposal. unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on who you ask), you weren’t aware of such a custom. or — xiao thinks you’re married, but you just thought flowers would look nice on him.

fluff. comedy-ish. accidental malewife acquisition. featuring reader being clueless, xiao being hopeless, and lumine and hu tao being your biggest supporters

It started with a walk on the road as an acquaintance accompanied you.

There’d been a wild flower by the side, with white and lilac petals that you’d thought, rather presumptuously, would suit the dour faced adeptus beside you. So, you plucked it and impulsively handed it to him, a smile on your face and a shocked one on his.

His fingers closed around the flower’s stem, the stern lines of his face softening as he gazed at the tiny petals that glittered in the sun.

You’ve never been rid of him since.

Your friend Xiao could be described as protective at best and possessive at worst. It’s not a bad thing, of course! Caring for a friend is always a good thing in your books, but sometimes, you think he takes the word ‘caring’ to an almost extreme degree.

Take, for instance, now.

“Xiao?”

He hums from his spot on the sill of your window, not even sitting, no, he’s crouched on it, balanced on the thin ledge at the tips of his toes and keeping his eyes (which oddly glowed like a cat’s) peeled for any danger. Like this, he almost looks like a bird perched on a branch.

You let out an awkward laugh. “You know, I appreciate you doing this for me, keeping me safe and all, but I think I can spend the night on my own safely.”

His head whips to you so fast you almost feared he’d get neck cramps, an expression of surprise and… hurt? on his face.

“You… don’t want me here?”

You’ve never backtracked so fast in your life. “No! I mean, yes—but not in the way you’re thinking!”

He looks forlorn now, stepping down the windowsill and shoulders hunched in a similar manner to that of a cat pulling its ears down its head. “Is this what the Traveler meant by sleeping on the couch?”

You’re not sure what to do, but it seems like he wants to sleep on the couch? Puzzled, you smile encouragingly even though you don’t quite understand his words. “Er, if you want to sleep on the couch, you’re welcome to do so?”

His face falls.

✧

“And, I don’t know, he just became all—sad? Just, I felt so bad for basically kicking him out of my room, and now that I’m thinking more on it, I should’ve just offered to let him sleep beside me. Like a, um, a sleepover!”

There’s a distinctly bashful look on your face and, oh god, you’re drawing little circles on the table with your finger, an almost dreamy glint in your eyes.

Sweet Jesus that doesn’t exist in this world, Lumine is going to barf.

She slams her hands on the table, startling you in the process as she leans down and says with an exasperated face, “Have you considered that maybe you actually like him and he—”

“What?!” you squawk, mouth open in disbelief and a mortified look contorting your features. “That’s—don’t say such things, Lumi!”

She drops back down her chair, leveling you with a look that basically said, are you for real right now?

“It’s written all over your face—”

You quickly slap both hands on your cheeks, turning your head away. “I don’t like him! How could I ever… he’s an adeptus and I…”

“And you made an adeptus sleep on your couch,” Lumine deadpans.

She can feel the way your face burned at the reminder. You slump over the table, burying your head in your arms and bemoaning your decision. “I didn’t mean to disrespect him…”

“Oh, I’m sure disrespect was the farthest thing you did to him,” she mutters beneath her breath. Broke his heart, shattered his hopes and dreams, devastated him—Lumine can name a few more.

But then, you suddenly straighten up, determination lining your face. There’s a look in your eyes that tells Lumine she should probably stop you from doing whatever idiotic thing—however in good faith it might be—that you’re about to do.

“I should give him some flowers as an apology. He always gets so… not exactly happy but—warm, that’s it. He feels warmer whenever I give him flowers.” You smile, reminiscing on whatever moments you had with him. You stand up, looking down at the empty plates all over the table before looking at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, could you foot the bill this time?”

Lumine sighs. She’s still got money from the last commission Ningguang made her do, so she supposes she can do it. Just this once. “Fine, but you’re paying for our next outing!”

You beam, thanking her before running to the nearest flower shop or wherever it is you’re going to be getting those flowers from.

“Make sure to let him sleep on your bed next time!” Lumine yells to your retreating back, ignoring the strange, almost scandalized, looks from nearby patrons.

✧

You find him at your house, completely ignoring how strange it is that a friend has complete access to your house including a spare key and extra clothes on the closet just for him. It’s simply become the norm, is all. And he’s a good—you don’t quite know what to call him, roommate? you’ll settle for friend—friend, helping you with the chores and often accompanying you to the market when you need new groceries—but only during the early mornings, of course. You know how much he dislikes crowds.

“I’m home!”

The response comes immediate and, judging by the direction, it came from the kitchen, “Welcome home.”

The large bouquet of glaze lilies interspersed with roses and qingxin flowers is heavy on your arms as you walked to the kitchen. Xiao is there, a broom in hand which he sets aside once he sees you and what you’re carrying.

“Here!” You grin, extending the bouquet forward and into his arms.

He accepts it, a flush to his cheeks and looking distinctly flustered by the gift. “I… thank you.”

“It’s an apology.”

His eyes snap to yours, iridescent gold piercing through you. There’s something almost vulnerable in the way he’s gazing at you, hands tightening around the flowers.

You fiddle with your fingers. “Well, I wanted to say sorry for making you sleep on the couch. If you’d like, you can sleep beside me tonight.”

Something in him relaxes, tension bleeding out of his posture as he smiles, small and near unnoticeable to anyone who didn’t know him so well.

For some reason, the sight of it makes your heart leap.

Lumine’s words repeat in your mind.

Have you considered that maybe you actually like him?

No, you think with dread, absolutely not.

✧

“Yes,” Hu Tao crows in delight, “You’re absolutely in love!”

“See, that’s what I tried to say yesterday, but nooo. Oh, Lumi, Xiao is just a friend,” Lumine grouches, imitating your voice and utterly failing because while she may be strong enough to fight monsters and gods, that girl has absolutely no talent when it comes to mimicking.

Your palms cover your face that feels warm to touch. “I do not sound like that. And it’s true, we really are just friends!”

“Of course, because friends do things like living together and sleeping on the same bed and holding hands—” You open your mouth to protest, but Hu Tao doesn’t let you interrupt, “—don’t deny it! I saw you last week near Liuli Pavilion, and he was holding your hand and carrying a bag of food!”

“He’s just really helpful! He’s an adeptus,” you argue, though it sounds weak even to your own ears.

“And do all adepti live with a human, do they sleep with them—”

“You make it sound so lewd, Lumi!”

“—do they hold their hands and go grocery shopping at five in the morning with them?” Lumine pierces you with those honey gold eyes of hers. “Did you know I barely have anything to do in the Adventurer’s Guild here in Liyue besides babysitting and errands because someone—namely, an adeptus who coincidentally goes by the name Xiao—keeps killing all the monsters within the area?”

Hu Tao cackles. “He always asks about you whenever I encounter him at Wuwang Hill.”

You level her with an incredulous look. “What were you even doing there?”

“Hiding bodies, duh!” At your horrified look, she winks. “Just kidding!”

You shake off Hu Tao’s laughter and pinch your lips together. “Look, it’s—we’re just friends. That’s all there is to it.”

Lumine huffs, “Yeah, sure, because friends like you two give each other flowers everyday. How does your house still have space in it for more?”

You would’ve refuted her words, would’ve argued that no, you don’t give each other flowers everyday, just on a regular basis—but Hu Tao’s sudden silence concerned you more than what Lumine said. The funeral director turns her head to you with wide eyes.

“You gave him flowers?” she asks, an odd tone to her voice.

Your brows furrow at her uncharacteristic seriousness. “Um, yes? I do it all the time.”

She leapt forward, grabbing your shoulders and lips twitching into something you could almost call glee. “And he accepted it?”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

Hu Tao lets go of your shoulders to tilt her head back and laugh. Not the nice little giggles she does after a successful prank, no, this is more manic. The kind that wouldn’t make you think, oh how sweet, but instead makes you think, oh this girl belongs in a facility.

Even Lumine seems confused by her reaction, joining you in watching her like she’s just grown two heads. Hu Tao takes one look at both of your expressions and dissolves into another fit of laughter.

“Oh, dear. And you don’t even know what it means!” she says in between laughs.

Lumine, having had enough of being in the dark, grabs Hu Tao’s face with both hands and forces her to look at her in the eye. “What does it mean?”

Hu Tao grins, gaze darting to you. “When you give an adeptus flowers, it means you’re proposing to them.”

You and Lumine gape, understanding dawning on your heads, though there’s horror on your part at what it could mean.

But Hu Tao doesn’t stop there, “And if they take it…”

You await her next words with bated breath, Lumine seemingly on the edge of her seat as well.

“…It means they accept your proposal.”

Lumine’s screech of delight at this newfound information drowns out the metaphorical sound of your world falling apart and being built anew.

✧

You come home in a daze, eyes blankly staring ahead and unaware of your surroundings until you blink, and suddenly, you’re sitting at the dining table, a plate of steaming shrimp balls being placed in front of you.

Xiao crouches by your chair, examining your face with worried eyes. “Are you well?”

Your throat shrivels up. All the words and arguments you’d been planning to say earlier dying on your tongue. So, instead, you nod. He doesn’t outwardly look relieved, but the softness in his touch belies his care as he places a single stemmed qingxin flower on your palm.

It’s still fresh, you notice, dew gathering on the petals and the scent still present.

Xiao sits on the chair opposite yours, looking at anything and anywhere but your eyes. “I plucked it from the highest mountains of Jueyun Karst, blessed by Cloud Retainer and said to ward away unwanted dreams.”

You stare down at it, at the white petals that feel soft against the pads of your fingers, heart beating out of your chest and hands clammy and breaths labored, a pleasant twist to your gut as you realized that he’d gone out of his way to climb a mountain and have it blessed by an adeptus just to give it to you. There’s being friends, handing each other flowers they saw on the road or bought at a shop, and then, there’s this.

Your mouth feels dry, your chest feels full, and there’s something on the tip of your tongue begging to be let out.

“Xiao,” you start, finally gaining the courage to look up and meet his eyes. “What are we?”

His lips part, eyes widening the slightest amount that tells you he’s unsure what brought this question on and how to answer it.

You shake your head. “Never mind. Just tell me this—are we… engaged?”

At this, Xiao seems to relax. “No.”

You barely have the chance to feel a mix of relief and disappointment, though why you’d feel disappointment at having proof that you and Xiao really are just friends—

He smiles, a small one but no less brighter for it. “We are married, aren’t we?”

And oh.

Oh.

It’s not until now, with the confirmation of everything you dreaded (everything you’d hoped and wanted and yearned for desperately) that you realize how much you’ve longed for something more with him—how much you’ve longed for him.

“Xiao,” you say, eyes crinkling at the corners and cheeks aching with the intensity of your smile, “I love you.”

He startles, blinking up at you with wide eyes, red creeping up his cheeks, but before he can say anything you know he’s not quite prepared to say yet, you continue, still a little indignant at discovering you’d been married without a clue.

“But I demand a proper wedding ceremony!”

word count: 2.2k

edit: the semi part 2 y’all have been asking for

#if you’ve read my other xiao fic ‘the adepti’s guide’ i want u to know that this is a look into reader hu tao and lumi dynamic in the future #but more chaotic and insane #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader #genshin xiao x reader #gn reader

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superherospinoff · 1 year

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jack and janet drake were honestly so revolutionary for creating an only child that was a middle child from birth

#tim drake #dc #batfam #forget about all the angst takes on this. instead consider: tim being the only kid to encourage bruce to adopt more kids #so that he'll have even more weird and outlandish siblings #that are going to totally overshadow the insane bullshit he's getting up to behind the scenes #tim: hmmm i need to go off-planet to violate intergalactic laws with the besties for a week but i don't want bruce on my ass about it #tim: [nudging damian in the direction of an unethical zoo and coincidentally showing cass a zebra-sized secret passage into the manor]#tim: [stealing something from jason's safehouse and framing dick for it]#tim: [watching the resulting carnage/shenanigans] yeah that should do it #claims he became robin to improve batman's mental state. makes bruce's life more chaotic anyways.#spins speaks

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chaoticfvckingdisaster · 1 year

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Midwestern emo songs are fucking insane cause it'll be this sad mid boy who can't sing for the life of him and then suddenly they say the most profound lyrics that would make shakespeare, edgar allen poe, and fiztgerald all simultaniously go into a coma and you sit there like hell yeah. anyways.

#tfb my beloved #midwestern emo #the front bottoms #mccafferty #sorority noise #“I don't know how god thinks but god do you love me?” HELLO??#“you were high school. And I was just more like real life. And you were okay as a girlfriend- I was just more like his wife.” SIR-???#“maybe I'm not the person that I never wanted to be” BRB SOBBING?#music #modern baseball #wolfman by tfb is my latest repeated song the bridge literally makes me ascend I go insane #chaotic is thinking again

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bisexualbuckleyy · 23 days

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teen wolf memes part 27: chaotic murderous bisexuals + scott

this post is like 50% thiam but i don’t care tbh they’re iconic. @burnthatbridgewhenwecometoit love ya 🩷

teen wolf memes part 27

#everyone in this post is a chaotic murderous bisexual except scott who is a ray of sunshine bisexual #taking a brief break from 911 induced insanity cause i have four more after this in my drafts hsfhjkl #teen wolf #teen wolf memes #teen wolf crack #lydia martin #kira yukimura #liam dunbar #theo raeken #scott mccall #allison argent #isaac lahey #stiles stilinski #thiam #scallisaac

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moregraceful · 2 months

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I am once again job searching.... I am beginning to think capitalism is simply not for me. also do you know much easier my life in the bay area would be if I had any kind of skills that would transfer to a corporate or tech setting

#or was willing and able to move out of the bay area lol that's the other one. but that's a way more complicated discussion #but like imagine a world where i have a job i tolerate and isn't soulcrushing that allows me to make money...wow...#my work experience is like 1) public and academic libraries 2) human trafficking survivors 3) religious settings #AND LIKE OBVIOUSLY I CAN SPIN ALL OF THAT #but sometimes i go on teamwork and i look at sports jobs and i'm like. i could do that #i would be so good at social impact shit #but broadly if i was a hiring manager in any corporate setting i'd see my work experience and go. that's a hot mess. absolutely not #which i have found libraries and nonprofits are a little more tolerant of a chaotic resume.....alas #anyway if i seem insane in the next couple of months. it's bc my org is in a state of decay and i am not committed enough #to stick through to the end and/or be fired when we start losing funders. god bless bake on #fresno oilers.txt

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g4rdensofb4bylon · 5 months

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every time i have to write an essay for school i imagine i'm a rich old money boy in a private school going insane and that's all that keeps me going atp

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cheriboms · 7 months

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doctober day 12: train tracks

fact: their favorite bedtime story is 'how mom, dad, and clint eastwood stole a locomotive and saved the space time continuum'. source: dude trust me

#back to the future #bttf #doctober #doctober 2023 #verne brown #jules brown #my arts #my sketchy wip arts #would you believe there are no good references for that GODFORSAKEN MODEL ?????? bc there arent lemme tell you #i was pausing and screenshotting that blurry ass video so much T_T it was insane. and i done even think its 100% accurate #BUT YK what its fineeeeee u get the idea. PLUS whos to say some pieces didnt change throughout the years !!! ^^;#anyway this was brought on by me wondering what happened to that thing and i decided the boys play w it bc like. they would #i personally think verne would be chucking that wooden car off the track so hard. chaotic king <3 #side note i love their outfits uwu theyre so dapper. def claras fashion sense (also bc theyre in purple lol)#also also i think theyd always ask what happened after the crash. like dad was marty okay??? did he make it back to the future??? :0 #and doc having to just be like... idk but i hope so #:(((#bc like he literally DOESNT KNOW and obvs marty doesnt ever return to the 1880s so uh? did he not come back on purpose or did smth happen??#i think there should be more angst about that #time-train-building time skip my beloathed </3 #anyway i didnt mean to talk about all this LMBOOO i got really off topic but yeah #(also my hc the reason the boys dont say anything in that last scene is bc theyre starstruck. marty is an celeb/action hero to them irl)#okay im stopping now sorry

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hanakihan · 7 months

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I craved some disturbing horror (because apparently that’s what my job is) so I also happened to have a fever and had a train thought

Kinda warning because discussion of kinda gross, crime related stuff, overall torture of jinchul (because that’s my favorite thing to do) and so on

Having mana and be a high ranked hunter is cool and honestly can save your and someone’s life

But considering the amount of insane shit humans do I thought about post rewind jinchul

just a normal human doing his investigator job but being absolutely unfortunate enough to end up in grasp of some really fucked up criminal

like there’s no some magical power, no eldrich god to come to rescue

all it took was a hit on head from back and now he’s at mercy of someone else

he chaotically tries to think of a plan to escape, to live and it’s a such a mess in his head because while he’s cool headed most of the time it doesn’t mean he has no fear

you may be an investigator or another victim, it truly doesn’t matter when your hands are tied and you’re completely locked with some psychopath who you’ve been investigating

hours and then days of him being confined here, barely getting anything to eat, awaiting for supposed painful death while suffering from other things. and then it becomes worse when he realizes he’s not the only one alive for now and he now also needs to prioritize other victim as well. one moment he’s beaten and tortured, next this person forces them to play a normal family at a dinner table presented with meal of extremely questionable origin. and jinchul sits here, hands finally free, and wondering is it a good moment to stab their capturer and go for an escape. but where’s guarantee they’ll succeed getting out from a house they’re not familiar with, where’s the chance door isn’t locked, where’s the chance they’ll survive outside. where’s the guarantee that if they fail they’ll live to see another day.

Like yes jinchul being an investigator in post rewind is amazing but also from personal experience on what some humans are capable of, he’s insanely lucky to have jinwoo’s protection lmao. because it’s insanely easy to go from hunter to victim in this field of work and don’t even get me started on that one case a police officer was abducted by a criminal and brutally tortured to death okay—

#solo leveling #woo jin chul #text is chaotic because I’m running a fever #but anyway yea he’s extremely fucking lucky to work as an investigator and have jinwoo watch after him #I honestly think he’ll be more prepared for physical torture than psychological #him being tolerant to beatings and other painful things #but psychological ones are insane his overthinking isn’t helping #ah what a best way to show love for your favorite character than yo torture them

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iguessitsjustme · 1 year

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You know, for a show with the premise of guy can’t cum so he travels through time to fix his friends problems in order to be able to climax again, the warp effect has no business being that fucking good

#the warp effect #the warp effect the series #the warp effect bl #I genuinely think that the more insane and chaotic the premise the more heart they put into the show which makes it so so good #also it is the queerest show in the best way #literally woke up thinking about it

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todayisafridaynight · 9 months

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YOU MAKE THAT POST AND DON'T SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON EVERYONE'S OPINION ON SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG???

I MEAN IT'S SUCH A NICHE FUCKING TOPIC LMAO I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD CARE

but anyway here's the Egregiously Simplified version of Everyone Is Forced To Play Ten Routes Of Shadow The Hedgehog And Has To Give Their Opinion Afterwards

#snap chats #i already hear someone going 'the fuck you mean mine is number one shadow the hedgehog defender' YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME #at first i do think he'd be like 'what the fuck' but then going through all of shadows routes. or at least ten to get the final story #and seeing the constant betrayal and inability to trust others he faced yet still ultimately persevering due to his promise to maria #i think bro would be moved.. just a little.. would he think shadow a bit headassed for that considering what the humans did to him #Of Course but also its evident that shadows clearly taking things into his own hands now- as righteous of a mission as it is #despite the persistent attempted influence by everyone around him. shadows a complicated TRAGEDY he'd be moved #mine's artsy like that..... gotta go before i get shot ive said insane things before but this one'll take the cake me thinks #im not explaining everyone else mine's just felt like the one i NEEDED to explain lest i look more insane than usual #06 daigo's purely a Shadow Angst enjoyer. he understands shadow and he's wallowing in the misery of his backstory #majima's weird to categorize cause he definitely can be like Lmao The Fuck and/or just play the game chaotically #and then the aspects of identity come in and on the outside he'll be like 'bro its not that deep' but on the inside its like #Damn He Just Like Me Fr. i think. idk i dont study majima leave me alone im not making ANOTHER One Chara Exclusive category #i said i wouldnt explain anyone else and here i am explaining shut UP im gonna go eat #im not looking at this anymore bye #FORCING myself to leave cause i really will just end up typing essays on bitches perceiving shadow LMAOO

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nyanryan · 4 months

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in my "we should let all toddlers act like wild animals" era

#every time my boss is getting annoyed at them for literally just. being a little chaotic. i feel the urge to kill. my boss.#oh noo they knocked all the toys off the shelf and on to the floor? literal normal toddler behavior and you are getting annoyed at them?#i hope you explode ❤️#i cant wait until i have my own daycare. it is going to be so insane & im going to let those little guys do whatever they want all the time #also had the realization the other day that these kids r literally spending more time w us than w their PARENTS. so fucked up #we have to blow up society fr. this should not be happening.

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blue-b-bro · 7 months

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Wilson: I want to live with Sam, so I've decided to kick you out of our my house

House:

#S6 is making me insane #Every time Wilson breaks up with house he's like: fine whatever #*autodestructive behavior*#*drinking*#*seeking people or places that would hurt him or endanger his life*#*repression*#*denial*#*more drinking*#*breaking the law*#I'd say someone help this man but he lashed out on his therapist because he wasn't able to fix his chaotic ass in a year #house md #Hilson

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psalmsofpsychosis · 1 year

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listen i know the fandom loves their Mand'alor Din Djarin, but the idea of an actual canon king din djarin will forever be hilarious to me because out of everything the writers explored in his character, the single most consistent trait that keeps showing up for him is that he's highly unpredictable.

Like, from the very starting moment in the series he constantly makes drastic left turns in his judgement and breaks any percieved notion you have of him, and then he just keeps breaking the audience's mental structure around his character. You think he shows up and is quiet and distant? he pops up behind his bounty like a murderer and forcibly shoves him into a carbonite case. okay so this guy is cold and ruthless. except that he shows up very obedient and offering to the Tribe, gives all his earnings away, and has a whole internal mental breakdown in 3minutes. so he's vulnurable? nah, he actively hunts his teammates for sport because they finally pissed him off for good. BUT he also removes his pouldron so a child he's barely known for two days can sleep soft on his shoulder. A child that he took back by basically causing the death of his entire tribe, which he had sworn his life to by the way. First thing established in the series is him hating droids, and less than 30 minutes in he not only cooperates with and keeps a droid from dying, he also lifts him up, checks his circuits, asks about his wellbeing and whether he needs help. And 5 minutes later he shoots him dead.

This guy is so unpredictable, he has a moral code but noone has any idea what the fuck makes the list, least of all himself. Any barrier you make around his character he consistently breaks it and does the exact opposite. He's a rule breaker and anti-structure by default, never once does he hesitate to fuck shit up by the whim of his... something. Can't tell you if it's his heart of his mind or his gut because he's not consistent between the three of them either. When you think he's a self-serving individual, he turns around and saves a child, when you think he's a man of responsibility and community he makes a 180 turn and leaves everyone in the dust. And like, yeah. The anchor of Din Djarin's character is that when he can, he breaks routine procedure and structure.

And to have someone who consistently undermines stable paradigms become an enforcer of rules and boundaries and regulations? peak comedy honestly.

#listen i love him so much. i love his complexity i love how unpredictable and peculiar and unreadable he is by most standards #most of all by mandalorian standards #he contains multitudes and is fucked by the multitudes #and i think that the more Disney takes him in the direction of mand'alor role the more out of character and boring he'll become ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#like i dearly adore him b e c a u s e he's unpredictable and exciting and intriguing #one a single moment in his life has Din Djarin shown any affinity for enforcing boundaries and predictable structure #he meets a guy for 3 minutes and next thing he's entrusting his child to him ready to die for people he barely knows at all #he's insane like that <3 #and they're trying so hard to make a ''reluctant king'' trope out of him and it doesn't work he's not Aragorn #he's so morally chaotic and he doesn't even like opinions differing from his own lmao #Din Djarin #star wars #the mandalorian #star wars meta #din djarin character study

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