doctober day 12: train tracks

fact: their favorite bedtime story is 'how mom, dad, and clint eastwood stole a locomotive and saved the space time continuum'. source: dude trust me

me: whoa why arent I focusing today this is so weird I've got very tangible tasks to do today??? why cant I get anything done???

me: oh

me: oh....

the dr pepper I didnt drink: is there someone you forgot to ask

just my current thoughts on the pjo show and how they changed gabe's character.

when i first saw the show, i was a bit disappointed at how the abuse wasn't really there (which, writing that feels like a horrible thought to have had). gabe just seemed like a whiny loser instead of a mean, smelly, controlling person who we later learn is physically harming sally. did i want it to be a bit more book accurate? yes, because i was excited to see him get what he deserved at the end of the season.

but now, im glad they changed it. i've been watching alyson stoner's series Dear Hollywood, where she breaks down a lot of the psychology of child actors as they get into the industry and how it continues to affect them throughout the years. and having the show be completely book accurate with gabe's representation would probably have harmed walker in the long run. yeah, he was a bit older (12 or 13 when they filmed i believe) so not in the very first formative years of development, but that's still much too early to have to act with something like that.

yes, walker is a fantastic actor, and he probably can separate reality from fiction very well. and obviously what happens on set isn't "real". but still, having an abusive parent on-screen, even though gabe isn't physically abusive to percy, could have caused actual consequences to walker's brain that he probably wouldn't have understood for years. and i would MUCH rather have the kids be in a safe and comfortable environment while working for my entertainment than get something that is the same as rick riordan wrote 15 years ago.

I translated seb's car names to Latin right? The next step of mental illness is to assign all the different Holy Roman Emperors' Latin mottos to drivers LMFAO

...

me: oh [redacted arc] looks like it'll be like 20k wow that's so long

[redacted arc]: has just hit 20k and is Still Going

Getting a good hit of indica that’s a little stronger than vapes I had last time after I ran out of my indica is Hallelujah Praise The LORD and that kid with ADHD

.

getting motivated to work on that kaokana fic finally and i have added like 1k this week.... so much progress for me i'm so happy

can't believe i'm gonna find out if i'm intersex during pride month can we get a hell yeah

i actually need to get mental health diagnosis' so bad like i need 2 know what is wrong w me!!!

saw a total stranger on the streets and smth hit me like a rock and im kinda tiptoeing everything rn cos im scared it triggered an alter and. feels bad man!!!!

neurotypical able bodied people literally don’t understand when you have trouble doing what they see as “simple no brainer” tasks and think you are just not trying hard enough and it’s so frustrating

ok it's rly stupid but discacc chapter 42 felt so weird writing not for anything in the chapter but bc i wrote it outside of my normal active chapter document. for the most part. LIKE i have this one document that i use for writing all my discacc chapters and HAVE since like way way way early on. like since chapter 2 ish early on? bc things were getting too long it was freaking out the doc & also it's easier to copy-paste new chapters into ao3 if i just have that chapter there. so i have my main fic thing (well, multiple, since discacc is too long to fit into one document lmfaoo) & then i write new chapters in this active chapter doc & then copy paste them into the main thing once im done

EXCEPT

so 42 was originally a part of 41. it was all gonna be chapter 41. and i wrote like 4.6k words of it in active document with chapter 41. then decided it was gonna be its own thing, so i just plopped that bit into its own document to cut it from the active chapter doc. but then. when it came time to continue it in chapter 42. i just. didnt move it back to the active chapter document. i just kept writing in separate document '42'.

and idk there's just smth that feels so WEIRD about that. like it wasn't a normal discacc chapter or smth. which is kinda stupid but idk. like i couldve moved it back over at any point. but i didnt. bc i was already there

anyways im looking forward to writing again in "DA active chapter" doc aka the RIGHT doc for discacc writing. thank you very much

Saturday Six (Stuff)

Mood of the day: I would rather not people today. I would rather cat today.(ㅇㅅㅇ❀)

The hot weather we've had is too much already. We went from 70sF (20sC), and rainy in June, to sunny and 90sF+(32C+) now. Ughhhhh. ・゜・(ノД`)

Saw the doc this week and I may be getting help for some of my pain! ＼(^▽^＠)ノ

The kittehs are all getting acquainted and acclimated, after 3 weeks of settling in. (=^-ω-^=)

Not super happy about stuff that's going on with the parental units. I don't like life being up in the air.(⑅ ‘﹃’ )

Think I'mma get rid of junk from my old house finally, and have a good junk sale next month, maybe. We shall see. (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

Called my doctor's office bc I haven't heard anything about my test results (been almost two weeks). And haven't heard anything after messaging them online.

Apparently the nurse hadn't read the messages I sent last week?