#but its nice ^_^ also these lenses….. i actually kinda love em
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its possible they left campus but i Got to find the sans cosplay trio and ask for a picture with themm…… i dont care about the other two but i want a picture with ht sans so fuckinf BADDDD oh god. aghrhh
#hvent asked for a picture WITH somebody in like. years#but man i gotta. everyone pray i see them again ok…..#anyways. we were outside eating then it started raining so we hid under the table#GUESS U COULF SAY WERE REALLY DEDICATED UNDERTABLE COSPLAYERSD HUH. ccuz were monster kid and goner kid…… u get it#also so far ive gotten recognized multiple times which i was NOT expecting lmao#but its nice ^_^ also these lenses….. i actually kinda love em#its like. a 30% white fuzzy filter on top of my vision#i think i like it cus it helps w like. sensory issues lol#everythings just a little Less with these and thats cool for me 👍
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life entry 2
August 2nd
Surprise, surprise, I’m actually typing this text in the last half an hour of the day so I postponed the writing again but for a good reason this time.
Was not feeling well and basically stayed in bed most of the time while being anxious about my recovering health. In the evening I finally asked my sister to go outside together as a way to distract myself and maybe feel a bit better. Spoilers: not only that worked but I also got some pretty photos.
The first photos were taken after my happy noises about the moon and how fun the trees look this way since there was a green neon sign nearby. I also really like how the shadows on the wall turned out, they look like lil paper binders.
Oh My God, Is The Constellation Really Called Bootes?
Then me and sis decided to walk further and I noticed the only star that I could see in the sky at the moment - it turned out to be Arcturus. You can see it in the photo on the right as a yellow dot on the upper left part from the moon.
Usually I dig in in all the info Wikipedia has to offer when I learn about a new star but today I only offer you the origin of its name even though that’s not a lot, however it sounds nice!
The name Artcurus comes from the Greek meaning "keeper or guardian of the bear", which refers to the its position adjacent to the tail of the constellation Ursa Major (the Great Bear).
source ✰
A little about Antares
After coming home and still being on Stellarium (which is one of most favorite apps ever created bc it lets you recognize which stars are on the sky right now, you can literally just hold your phone and sort of use it like a lense to see a whole new worl- okay I swear I’m not sponsored, just awestruck), I decided to check what else was up there besides this lil dude that I could barely see because of the clouds and/or light pollution. Turns out the Scorpius constellation was also up there and of course I had to tap on Antares (star) which I honestly love a lot because:
Oh c’mon I’m a scorpio myself, of course I’m going to love it, it’s about me! /lh
The story of its name and its connection to goddess Ishara (who is a scorpion goddess and her functions were so versatile - starting with her being a goddess of love, marriage and divine oaths but also having a role in the underworld and diseases - took this one from wiki’s summary)
Today I found (or maybe even re-found, can’t remember for sure) another reason to think of Antares as my star - it’s about it being a double star!
This piece of Info was taken from the app itself and the source from what I’ve understood is also wiki so here you go
It’s connected to the reason I associate myself with characters who have a double personality (for example, Hua and HoS from Honkai): for some time in the past I had an alter ego the origins of which I’m still not sure of - is it because of my masking which is an autistic trait or is it trauma response to me not being able to process things that happened when I was a kid. Whether I do or do not discover the true reasons behind it, I still accept this part of myself and the sense of familiarity in any symbol of duality
Bonus moon pics!
I want to also pin two more pictures here, one of ‘em being the photo I ended up posting on my mostly dead insta page:
and this screenshot in which I wanted to kinda line up the moon and the thing that you can regulate the brightness of the phone with, but instead I got a... some kind of mediaeval moon. You can see the nose, at least
That’s it for today folks! Nothing else really happened except for me finally going through the summer event in genshin and impulsively spending primos on the weapon banner. Still no progress on the paper I need to write but I’ll try again tomorrow. Night night
#personal blog#diary#journal#writing#write every day#writers on tumblr#stories#space#stars#space facts#mythology#photography#night sky#night
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||The Pastas At The Beach||
this was originally like an entirely different post but ehhh this ways better!
disclaimer Im setting this like, at a beach with a boardwalk and such next too it? Public beach, small time vacationing!
and that they conviently like..pass as human
I hope you guys enjoy!! remember too check out my announcement board!
taglist: @frozensriracha @creepy-bi-day @capricornartistsstuff @krayolacolor
Jeff the Killer
Jeff doesn't really do much at the beach
The salt water irritates his skin and he burns easily, doesn't want too deal with it
Spends most of his time asleep
Hogs all the damn towels by sprawling out all over all of them
Gets sand over everything that they brought with them
Forgets how wind works and it gets everywhere
When its time for some of em too go get food, he always fucking goes
Wants too walk around and do something, and maybe not get blamed for all the fucking sand when everyone sits back down
He wears one of those like protective long sleeved shirts? and red swim trunks that are just somewhat obnoxiously bright
While getting the food he has a brilliant idea
Befriends the fucking seagulls
Lures them back too their umbrellas and just vibes with his bird army
atleast he's not alone anymore?
Ben Drowned
first off I know like he doesn't go swimming
but imagine if he did
his fucking goggles get filled up with blood
gets weird ass tan lines from the blood on his face like, when he's not swimming
has too wear the goggles when he puts on sunscreen-
ok ok thats it
fucker wears like mountain dew swim trunks
and those arm floatie things despite not going anywhere near the water
He tries too sit around Jeff but that gets boring fast-
Just walks the fuck off without telling anyone, on a journey for adventure
Will spend literal hours sitting underneath the boardwalk until someone finds him
After that they get him like one of thise beach toy kit things
Sally's nice enough too fill the bucket with water too, so they can make sand castles and stuff
She walks along the shore line with him, gets pretty shells too
Also if Ben were too go in the water
He's a fucking shark magnet with all that blood-
But don't tell him that, he won't come back too the beach
Ticci Toby
Toby is very excited too go to the beach
He didn't get out much as a kid
Siked as hell too get in the water
Drops his stuff off as soon as possible and runs right into the water
And thats when he realizes he can't fucking swim
Awkwardly flaps his arms around until a wave moves him along too back where he can stand
Everyones kinda confused when he comes back like "?? You were so excited, what happened?"
"I can't swim :(("
Cody volunteers to teach him right away, like the great brother he is
The thing is Cody is a horrible fucking teacher
Another few minutes of Toby getting owned by some waves and Cody just screaming stuff like
"Use your arms Toby- no not like that how I showed you- no I'm not going too help how are you supposed to learn-"
That's when Kate drags him back too shore and Doby and Brian teach him instead
In a bit he learns and ends up having a lot of fun
I feel like Toby would really like boogie boarding?
A lot easier then surfing but still a good time
Also they have too tie a red scarf around his arm so they don't loose his ass in a crowd, or in the water
Third Base
so far, Doby's the only one on this list who actually came prepared
I feel like he'd use one of those face lotions that has SPF 30 in it already?
Smart enough so he doesn't have too smear sun screen around his face, can just use the spray stuff and get going
Also has shoes and sunglasses too go with each like swimsuit/outfit he brings
Mans is put together
Really likes collecting shells and stuff
Walks with Sally, shows her how too find them
Wakes up kinda early as it is? So its easy for him too go too the beach early and find the shells before the tide pulls them back out
It's one of his favorite times, actually
The suns just rising, a few shops are opening, only a handful of people are on the beach
Does it everyday as his "alone time" before everyone else wakes up
Spends most of his time with everyone kinda relaxing?
I can see him really liking those beach volleyball games
Or just playing frizbee in the shallow water!
Really, really enjoys making sand castles
Builds a moat and everything so it stays up when the waves start coming closer
X-Virus
Cody, another kid who never got much beach expierence
But acts like he did
Buys one of those waterproof, phone lanyard things
Forgets too fucking close it properly
Doesn't have the first idea of what seagulls are like
"Oh come on buys its fine-" gets fucking owned for his cheesestick
Lowkey scared of them after that
Refuses too eat on the beach after that
Sits with ben under the board walk and curls around his chips
Spends most of his time in the water
Wants too see how far he can go before the lifegaurd calls him back
Finds it funny as shit too just slowly go deeper while grinning at them
Until a wave slaps him in the back of the head
And then he gets scared of the deepwater too
After he looses Swimming Coach privellages gets really fucking salty and sulks on the beach
Kate takes pity on him and walks around the boardwalk with him
But he also didn't know you have too reapply sunscreen after you go swimming
Gets really really bad sunburn
Jeff, Ben and Toby take turns slapping it whenever he gets too cocky
Masky
This is gonna be a Dad Tim one, fight me
Really has no idea what the fuck is going on, but still manages too keep everyone together?
Tells the same story, atleast twice a day, about the killer wave that almost took his shorts off
Gets in fights with seagulls whenever they get realitively close too the group
Also buys one of those crappy beach wagon things too put their stuff in
Buys a mug and cheesy beer koozie
Doesn't enjoy the beach that much but gets excited too go?
Ends up sitting down for most of the time unless he gets dragged on walks
Might just kinda walk until the water is at his knees and just kinda stand there, and nod a little
Giving mother nature his approval
He takes Sally out and holds onto her stomach, lifts her up over the waves whenever they come
Asks her what she can see, before he drops her back down
Tries it with Ben, gets kicked in the gut-
Favorite time is when it's dark and they go
Not for a long time, just a few minutes too walk along the shore before it gets dark
Hoodie
Designated photographer
Is supposed too be taking photos but mostly gets footage of the stupid shit that happens
Like Jeff not being able too figure out the dishwasher or Clockwork wrestling with her dresser where only half the drawers worked
Just kinda sits back and watches things go up in flames
He's the designated like playlist guy too?
On the drive over, whenever he got bored just
"Hey what song should I play?"
And watches chaos ensue
His vacation is watching everyone else have a bad time
Makes up for it though, saves them a shit ton of money by making dinner every night.
I feel like he genuinely enjoys late nights on the beach, like Tim
Gets some beautiful photos of the water, and people taking walks that he's pretty damn proud of
Maybe once or twice he'll join Doby for a walk too get pictures of the rising sun
Likes getting small things from the gift shops
Shark teeth, maybe a cheesy snowglobe
Something silly but nice too remember the trip by
Eyeless Jack
first things first, ya know those double-lens glasses?
Like you flip up the sunglass part and theres normal lenses underneath?
Someone gave him those
But their are crappy eyes painted on the normal lenses
He's very confused but its just ridiculous enough for him too like
The beach isn't his favorite place, I HC him as nocturnal and most things are open during the day
He takes too the rides and crappy carnival games that are open late at night
He can't see everything super well but makes up fun things for himself
Enjoys going on rollercoasters that he has no idea what the hell the drops look like
Fucking hates bumper cars
Can't tell where everyone's coming from or when
More nerve racking then fun
Whenever they go to the beach beach he just kind of chills
Akwardly curls up on a towel because he's big as shit
Where ever they stay he walks around, uses his echo location shit too find out all its quirks
"This walls more hallow then that one- those support beams in the lobby are doing a very shitty job of keep things together"
Loves sitting out on the balcony and just smelling the salt air, listening too people laughing and the ocean waves
Just the small details a lot of people miss
#Jeff the killer#jeff the killer headcanons#ben drowned#ben drowned heacanons#ticci toby#ticci toby headcanons#third base#third base head canons#doby doggers#x virus#x virus headcanons#masky#masky headcanons#hoddie#hoodie#hoodie headcanons#eyeless jack#eyeless jack headcanons#creepypasta#creepypasta headcanons#slenderverse#slenderverse headcanons
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Ponder on the Narrow House
fandom: Lucifer
main characters: Mazikeen, Eve, Michael
pairings: Mazikeen/Eve/Michael
summary: In which Mazikeen isn't finished with Michael yet.
warnings: Violence, gun violence, trauma, dehumanization, outdoor sex.
0
In 2019, Fodor’s had crowned LAX the worst airport on Planet Earth, comparing it – much to Mazikeen’s amusement – to Dante Alighieri’s Hell.
She couldn’t comment on the comparison’s accuracy; she’d never read Divina Comedia. Human poetry bored her.
Up against the real thing, however? Hell was quieter, cleaner, and smelt better than Los Angeles International, and it wasn’t even close.
Granted, Mazikeen was biased. Hell was her home and she liked it quite a lot. But surely even a human – even an angel – would sooner take a stint in one of Lucifer’s loops than spend more than thirty minutes in Terminal 3.
Yet there he was, leaning against the wall, watching the bustling crowd with a faint smile on his face, like a man in the park resting his eyes on the ducks. Perfectly content.
“Do you know,” he said as she approached him, “that around forty percent of all humans are scared of flying?”
She hadn’t been sure how this encounter would go and, being innately practical, had dressed accordingly. Black satin skirt, flattering and loose enough to both conceal several demon daggers (invisible to the full-body scanner she’d just sauntered through) and not impede her reaction time in a fight. Red silk wrap blouse, easily unwrapped to serve as a garrotte or tourniquet. Hair down, curled, dyed pitch black with bronze-gold streaks – possibly a tactical disadvantage if he grabbed it, but possibly a distraction. She knew he liked her hair.
When she was satisfied he wasn’t about to lunge for her throat, she took a gamble and moved in to lean against the wall alongside him, following his gaze. “Not surprising. Think of it from their perspective. They don’t have wings. Actually – huh. I guess that’s a perspective you can sympathise with now.”
He sneered. “You’re trying to bait me, Miss Mazikeen. That’s cute. But I’m not in the mood, dollface. This? This is me time. I’ve had a shitty few days and I came here specifically to soak up these idiot mortals’ fear and chill out. Get lost. Go play with my twin if you’re so starved for entertainment.”
Mazikeen stretched. “That’s the problem. He’s hanging out with the rest of your lousy family. Gabriel. Raziel. Jophiel. Now that he’s in charge, they’re all trying to crawl up his ass. It’s pathetic. And annoying.”
His jaw clenched and she knew exactly what he was thinking: ‘That should have been me.’
“Also,” she added, after a pause, “they don’t like me. Most of them have never met a demon. There’s no outright hostility but… they talk to me like I’m some gross exotic pet Lucifer found and adopted.”
“They’re afraid of you.”
“Bullshit.”
“Nope. I’m wrong about some things. Never about fear. They can tell how much you matter to him, how much he’d do for you and vis versa, and it scares them shitless. Chloe Decker they can understand – she was Dad’s gift, after all. You, though? Lucy was never supposed to love you. No one was.”
She fiddled with her earring; big, gold, shaped like a swallow with rubies dotting its tail feathers. A gift from Eve. “Whatever. Anyway, that’s why I’m here. With you. Instead of them. You’re the worst, most obnoxious, most cowardly creep ever. I mean it. Christ, do you suck. But you always talked to me like I was a person. Right from the beginning.”
Ugliness flared behind his eyes. “Seriously? Now you’re being nice? Lucifer sent his general to console me? Ha! That’s how pitiful he thinks I am?”
“Pfft – no. Lucifer doesn’t give a crap about you. I’m here because I wanna offer you a job, moron.”
“A… job.”
“Yep. Ever heard of ‘bounty-hunting’?”
He nodded. Slowly. Smirking, she pushed off the wall and twirled on her six-inch heels to face him.
“Here’s the thing, o Angel of Dread; I’ve spent centuries in Hell learning how to terrify people. I look at you and you know what I see? Potential. Sure, you’re rough around the edges. Still got some celestial baby fat clinging to you. Still a little squeamish when it comes to certain tricks of the trade. But Mikey, honey, six months under my tutelage and I think we can turn you into a bona fide fucking nightmare.”
She let the skin on her face’s left side melt away and grinned at him. “So? How about it?”
“Eh,” he said after taking one last glance around the terminal. “Fuck it. Why not? Nothing better to do.”
0
“Los Angeles is kinda like me,” Mazikeen told him, taking off her red-lensed cat-eye sunglasses as she strutted down the pier.
“Doesn’t have a soul?”
A withering glare. “Tough. Pretty on the outside, mean on the inside. It’s easy to make enemies around here and when you’ve made ‘em, you need to stay on your toes. Stay nimble. Stay mobile. Ready to fight or flee at any moment.”
Michael nodded. “And that’s how you justify living on a tugboat.”
“Ahoy!” called Eve, standing on the deck in a polka dot bikini and pirate hat Mazikeen had presumably stolen for her off the set of some summer blockbuster or other being shot nearby, the salty breeze playing with her hair.
“It’s a yacht,” Mazikeen growled.
“No. That’s a yacht,” Michael replied, pointing to the gleaming white MCY 70 Skylounge docked nearby. “What you have is a glorified raft that can, at best, accommodate two people and maybe a toaster.”
He should, perhaps, be trying harder to ingratiate himself with his new boss.
But he was tired.
Getting in his face, she snapped, “Hey! That’s our headquarters, asshole. Show some respect.”
“It’s covered in seagull crap. It looks older than me. There’s a very obvious bloodstain on the helm. Jesus, doesn’t Lucifer pay you?”
She pushed him into the sea.
Offering him a hand when he bobbed to the surface, Eve said, “Don’t take it personally. She’s just mad because we weren’t able to steal a bigger one.”
0
It was while Michael was towelling himself dry down below decks that the chunky-faced cop wandered in, took one look at him, and strode across the room.
“Mister Espinoza,” he drawled, “what can I-… oh. Oh, wow, you really thought that was going to work, huh?”
Curled up on the floor, clutching the fist he’d very mistakenly slammed into Michael’s jaw, Dan hissed, “Fuck you. You killed me.”
“Poppycock. I had you killed. That’s entirely different, buddy.”
Dan staggered to his feet and shouted, “Maze! Eve! What the hell is he doing here?”
Taking off his wet jacket and draping it over the rack alongside the towel, Michael said, “I was invited, thank you very much. No one told me you were part of the arrangement.”
“What arrangement, asshole?” Dan snapped, turning red. “I’m just here to help Maze fix her boat’s engine.”
“Oh. You don’t work with her, then? No, I suppose you wouldn’t. As we’ve established, you’re entirely too killable.”
“You sleazy son-of-a… Maze! Get down here!”
Grumbling, Michael’s new boss stalked below deck carrying a crate of beer on her left shoulder and a sleeping bag under her right arm. “Goddammit – Dan, I told you to wait. Is your hand bleeding, you big meathead? We seriously just dragged your ass out of Hell and you couldn’t go two whole days before breaking yourself again? Ugh. You’re impossible. You’re worse than Decker.”
“Maze, d’you wanna explain what the actual fuck Lucifer’s psycho twin is doing here?”
“Interning,” Michael said, cheerfully.
His face now practically purple, Dan half-yelled, “What is he talking about? This is not okay, Maze! Does Chloe know? Does Amenadiel? Why is he even still on Earth? Lucifer’s God now; can’t he stick him on Mars or turn him into a bug or something?”
“Look, Dan, just calm down-…” she began.
“I died! I actually, literally, physically died! Because of him! No, I’m not going to calm down!”
Michael scoffed. “Please. Like that’s what you’re really upset about. You’re not angry about dying. You’re not angry at all. You’re scared, buttercup. And not just of me; of her, of Lucifer, of everything, and to be honest, I didn’t even need to use the ol’ angel juice to work that out.”
Mazikeen set down her cargo, pulled a knife from her belt, and flung it. It embedded itself five inches deep in the floor between them. “This? This is not Lux, dickheads. Mortals and celestials don’t hang out here to have a good time while I sit behind the bar and tolerate them. This crummy, crusty-ass, piece of crap boat is my domain. Here, I don’t have to put up with one femtometre of your bullshit. If you want to fight, do it somewhere else. If you want to fuck, do it quick and clean up afterwards. If you want to make yourselves useful, help me get the weapons on board.”
“Wait – wait, weapons? What weapons?” said Dan to her retreating back. “You said you were going fishing. Maze! What weapons?”
0
“Where’s all your stuff?” Eve asked when she showed him to his tiny cabin.
“I’m an archangel. I don’t have ‘stuff’.”
(Michael had already decided he didn’t like her. She was bubbly.)
“Heh. You should travel with Lucy sometime. We went to Vancouver for a weekend and he brought seven bags, five watches, and six pairs of shoes. Okay, do you – uh, do you at least have a change of clothes? Because those look kinda soggy.”
To his annoyance – and embarrassment – she spend twenty minutes hunting down a shirt and pants that would fit him.
“They’re mine,” she said, dropping them into his lap. “But I bought them to sleep in and I like loose pyjamas, so they’re a dozen sizes too big on me. Oh! Also found you this.”
She presented a hot water bottle in the shape of a fat, cuddly sheep.
He accepted it carefully, wondering if it was booby-trapped. “You’re Lucifer’s ex, right?”
“Er… yep? Amongst other things. The Original Sinner. First Woman, First Wife, First Mother. Mother of Mankind. Second Human. First Knowledgeable Human. But sure, I was also your brother’s girlfriend for a while.”
“And now you’re Mazikeen’s. Do you also work with her?”
“Sure do!” she said, interpreting the question as an invitation to sit down next to him. “I’m The Choronzon’s captain. That’s our boat’s name. My idea. I know she’s not much to look at but she’s got so much history. There’ve been fourteen homicides on her! Plus, she’s fast; way, way faster than she looks. And I know the beds are hard, but we’ve got three hammocks stashed away and getting them set up is easy as pie.”
“Wow. Those suckers up in the Silver City don’t know what they’re missing.”
She nodded, blinking slowly. “Hmm. Maze was right. You are mean. That’s cool. I get on well with mean people. Anyway, just in case she hasn’t told you; we’ve got a job lined up and we’ll be setting sail tomorrow at dawn. You get seasick? Not a problem; we’ve got a medical kit full of antiemetics. On that note, should we pick up something for you before we leave shore?”
“No.”
“You sure? Just that – uh – I mean, my third son, Seth, the one nobody talks about – he also had pretty severe scoliosis. Wasn’t a whole lot we could do about it back then. But these days they’ve got tons of stuff; opiods and anti-inflammatories and memory foam. Science is so, so cool. And I’m going shopping for sunscreen anyway, so dropping by the pharmacy wouldn’t be a problem.”
For a moment, he reviewed a list of responses that would deeply, profoundly hurt her, responses that would ensure she didn’t approach him again.
But he was tired, tired, tired.
“Here.”
He took a folded piece of A4 paper from his pocket and handed it to her. “These are what the last human doctor I went to recommended. Getting hold of those three I’ve circled is tricky, but I know a guy. Call him on that number down there and he’ll meet you wherever. If he gives you any trouble, remind him that Michael knows about the vacuum cleaner. That’ll shut him up.”
As soon as she’d bounced out of the room, he shut the door, locked it, and laid down to sleep.
0
It was night when he awoke.
He went upstairs to find Mazikeen and Eve sitting on the deck, admiring what stars could be seen through Los Angeles’ perpetual light pollution and sharing a pizza.
“Mickey! Get over here,” called Mazikeen, clad in a black dressing down and slippers shaped like plump pink pigs.
“It’s freezing,” he complained.
She snickered and threw him the prickly blanket that had been resting over her knees. “Wimp. Eve told you about the job, yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know how to use any weapons?” Eve asked. “Maze sticks with her knives most of the time. I prefer my traps and crossbow. But we’ve got guns, if that’s more your speed.”
They were clearly expecting him to sit down. Eve had even scooted to the left to make room.
He opened the blanket up and wrapped it around his shoulders, remaining standing. “Can I ask a question? What, precisely, is my role here?”
“For now, you’re a meat shield,” said Mazikeen, talking through a mouthful of pepperoni and violently yellow cheese. “Me and Eve are both vulnerable to bullets. I mean – I’m less vulnerable, obviously. But I don’t hate any of my relatives enough to go about finding out exactly how many bullets it takes to snuff a demon. So your job, at least tomorrow, is just to soak up enemy fire until we’ve got our hands on the target.”
Scowling, he said, “Getting shot does hurt, you know.”
“Yeah,” she replied, eyes shining with spite. “Dan sure seemed to think so.”
When the tense silence had stretched for over thirty seconds, Eve clapped her hands, smiling anxiously, and said, “So! Anyone up for rummy?”
0
Along the California coastline, the cruise ship Illustrious Voyager bore four thousand three hundred and ten passengers, one thousand two hundred and ninety-six crewmembers, and two guide dogs.
Five thousand six hundred and eight souls, in total.
At around 4pm, without anyone noticing, that number became five thousand six hundred and nine.
Hands clasped behind her back, Eve strolled down the promenade, admiring the vessel’s size and beauty. This fresh new millennium’s wealth astonished her. Sickened, sometimes. Entranced, sometimes. But always astonished.
Back in the garden, they’d slept on and under rocks. When it rained, they got wet. When large animals came by, they hid. No weapons. No shelter. No blankets. The only resource they’d had in abundance was food. Good grief – so much food. God had been so proud of all the different fruits and nuts and mushrooms he’d made available to them, and Adam had been so grateful. Eve supposed she had been, too.
It hadn’t stopped her from one day approaching her husband and the plump rabbits resting in his lap – two of several dozen pets – and asking if he didn’t think the cold nights would be much more endurable if they each had a warm pair of fur slippers.
Then she’d met Lucifer. Fallen in love. Bitten the apple. Learned how powerful he and his Father truly were. That was when the real questions, the sticky, prickly questions, had come bubbling up.
If Lucifer has such a vast family, with so many siblings, why can’t I have even one? she’d asked the sky. Why is Adam all I get?
And later: If You can simply bring people into existence, why must I scream and bleed and shit myself in order to have children? Am I doing it wrong? Is there another way? If there isn’t, why not?
And later: Why is nothing fair?
And, most recently, after meeting Mazikeen: Why isn’t everything at least equally unfair? Why do humans get a world of options while Maze and her family are expected to serve angels from birth to death? Why isn’t Maze allowed into Heaven, even after an eternity of loyalty and hard work?
“Sorry,” she said, flashing white teeth at a passing crewmember. “I’m trying to find a friend of mine. Can you tell me how to get to Room 835?”
Half an hour later, there was a splash and the ship’s population dropped to five thousand six hundred and seven.
Before binding his arms and legs, Eve had secured Andrew Bismarck’s lifejacket and gagged him. Furious and helpless, he bobbed alongside her as the ship moved on and Mazikeen rowed up in her inflatable raft, wearing a sunset-orange swimsuit.
“Should I be worried about those, babe?” she asked as she gripped Bismarck’s lifejacket and hauled him out of the water.
Eve smiled at the dolphin pod swimming in playful loops around her, and patted the nearest one’s nose. “No. They’re my friends.”
The inflatable wasn’t big enough for three people, so Eve held on to a friend’s dorsal fin and let him drag her back to The Choronzon.
Michael stood on the deck, looking bored. As they climbed aboard, their prisoner slung over Mazikeen’s shoulder, he drawled, “Seriously? This sad specimen’s worth two million dollars?”
“Actually, his net worth is eight hundred million,” said Mazikeen, dumping him down. “Two million is just what his ex-wife is willing and able to pay.”
Wringing out her hair, Eve added, “She took half his money in the divorce but she gave almost all of it to a chimpanzee shelter. I really like her!”
His lip curled. “How delightfully sordid. Isn’t this all a little beneath you, Ms Mazikeen? I mean, you’re a big deal in Hell. High Commander of Lucifer’s legions, head advisor to the king himself. Aren’t you worried taking jobs like this diminishes you?”
Busy handcuffing Bismarck to the railing, Mazikeen said, “Eve, honey? Do me a favour?”
“Boop!” Eve chirped, having already snuck up behind Michael, and pushed him overboard.
“I know it’s your whole gimmick,” Mazikeen called down as he splashed and spluttered, his face red with princely indignation. “And I know you don’t have a lot else going for you. But the next time you try that on me, I will stop being nice. Kapish?”
“Kapish,” he muttered.
The Choronzon had barely travelled a mile before Eve spotted Bismarck’s henchmen coming after them.
“Someone gimme details!” shouted Mazikeen, busy putting a bulletproof vest on over her bikini and opening up the box she’d told Dan contained a fishing rod, not a halberd.
Eve peered through her binoculars. “Two speedboats. Twelve guys on jet skis. Guns everywhere.”
“Heh. Awesome. Mickey – move that tight ass to the front and make like a nice juicy target.”
“Wait, what about-…” Michael began, trailing off as Mazikeen dove gracefully into the sea.
Bouncing from foot to foot, Eve shot him a grin. “Don’t look so glum, sourpuss. This is the fun part.”
She’d never spoken to Michael in Heaven, despite the millennia they’d both resided only two miles apart, her in a lakeside cottage on the outskirts of the Silver City, him in the crystal palace in its centre.
Granted, she’d not exactly had a warm and fuzzy relationship with any of Lucifer’s siblings. They all knew what had happened in the garden. Some had been nice – Amenadiel had visited often, even though he’d never had much to say and they’d spent their time together skipping stones across the lake’s surface. But the others had kept her at a distance. She was a bad influence.
Michael, however, was the only angel she’d not ever said one word to.
She’d seen him, now and then, in the early days, when she was the only human in Heaven and, as such, grudgingly invited to divine family get-togethers. On those occasions, she’d spent too much time feeling awkward and out-of-place to pay attention to the sullen figure lurking in whatever shadows were available. The one time she’d glanced his way, it had been to marvel at the stories of people getting the twins mixed up; beyond the raw basics of bone structure, Michael couldn’t have looked less like her old lover.
Bullets sprayed across the hull. Humming, Eve stepped daintily into Michael’s shadow, seconds before they started bouncing off his shoulders and chest.
“It is beneath her,” he muttered.
She made an ambiguous noise. “How d’you figure?”
There came a shout and a splash from the nearest jet ski. The bullets stopped.
“C’mon. She’s Mazikeen. Everyone in the Silver City knows about Mazikeen. Ordinarily, we couldn’t give two dry shits about Lucifer’s minions, but her? She’s a minor celebrity. The power behind Hell’s throne. Christ, it’s no secret my beloved twin couldn’t govern his way out of a paper bag.”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling fondly. “He’s kind of bad at everything. Except music. He’s a great musician.”
More shouting. More shooting. More bullets bouncing off Michael’s torso. Mazikeen rode by, one hand gripping her newly-acquired jet ski’s throttle lever, the other clutching her bloodstained halberd. Watching her circle the enemy, Eve was reminded of a sheep dog.
Michael went on: “And then there���s the fact that for a while, everyone thought Lucifer was going to marry her. It was all anyone could talk about. Jophiel was taking bets on when the proposal would happen. She’d have been High Commander and the Queen of Hell. Instead? All of a sudden, Lucifer takes an indefinite vacay to the mortal realm, drags her with him, and next thing anyone knows, she’s working behind a bar.”
The remaining jet skis and their terrified, wounded riders had been neatly rounded up, which meant it was time for Eve to open her purse.
“Um – how long have those been in there?” asked Michael, watching her take out three grenades.
“You want one?” she offered. “Don’t forget to take the pin out before you throw it. I did that my first time.”
One thing to be said for millions of dull, dull years spent sitting next to God’s Greatest Warrior, skipping stones across a lake; your aim got good.
The first blast was a warning, not close enough to actually kill any of Bismarck’s men, though the resultant waves did knock several into the water. They tried to retreat, turning their vehicles around, only to remember Mazikeen, corralling them single-handed and now armed with machine guns she’d confiscated from those already bested.
When they saw the second and third grenade incoming, they gave up and abandoned the jet skis, jumping into the sea and swimming for their lives.
“Fuck!” Michael yelped, blocking his ears at the concomitant explosions.
Gazing past the debris and smoke, Eve saw Mazikeen head for the nearest of the two speedboats. Its occupants, preoccupied with aiming a rocket launcher at The Choronzon, saw her coming far too late.
“I get your point,” said Eve, as her girlfriend and her halberd made short work of the crew. “But that’s a really… how can I put this? It’s a really angelic way of looking at things. Maze doesn’t consider anything ‘beneath her’.”
“Wow. Sick burn. You’re basically admitting she has no pride.”
“Oh, she’s got pride. Tons of pride. Her pride’s just dependant on how well she does a job, not on the type of job she has. She wasn’t happy working at Lux, but that wasn’t because she thought bartending was ‘beneath her’; it was because she prefers doing things she’s good at. Customer service isn’t really one of her strengths.”
The second speedboat was abandoned by its crew mere seconds before Mazikeen rammed the first speedboat into it, cackling victoriously.
“Actually,” Eve said, moving from Michael’s shadow to where Mazikeen had earlier set a crate of peach soda – her favourite – out on the deck, “now that you mention it, I guess I’m the one with no pride. Haven’t really ever had anything to be proud of. Your Dad never gave me the chance. I was never meant to do things. I was just meant to be.”
Michael snorted. “Lucky you. Trust me; he may have softened in his later years, but back in the day he never, ever stopped riding our asses. You think Lucy really rebelled because he had better plans for how the universe should be run? Because he was an innovator? Nope. Lazy dick just hated being told to do his chores.”
By the time Mazikeen swam back to them, saltwater had washed off the blood and her ponytail had come loose.
“Oh, hey,” said Eve, gripping her hand and pulling her up. “A mermaid.”
After pressing a rough kiss to her cheek and taking a swig of peach soda, Mazikeen asked, “You okay? He did his job?”
Eve patted the angel’s shoulder – the one that wouldn’t hurt. “He was terrific! Awesome addition to the team.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Michael mumbled.
Ignoring him, Mazikeen snatched up a towel to dry her hair. “Glad to hear it. Alright! Let’s get Bismarck back to shore, get paid, and find a place to have dinner so we can toast Team Hellrazor’s first successful mission.”
“R-A-Z-O-R,” Eve informed Michael. “To make it cooler.”
0
Bombshell curls. The only way to celebrate victory.
“Should I even ask why your hair smells like burning plastic?” asked Britney, a sixty-four year old veteran stylist with spectacles and a bright blue bob. She’d worked in Hollywood since she was seventeen and her skilled hands, according to rumour, had tended to Viola Davis herself.
Mazikeen flipped through a magazine with the hand that wasn’t getting its nails painted red-gold by two assistants down on their knees, as intensely focused as if they were touching up The Last Supper. “Blew up some jet skis. Don’t worry about it.”
Picking up the curling iron, Britney said, “That handsome guy you and Eve came in with… new boyfriend?”
“Ha! No. Not in a million years. He’s my intern.”
Eve had only wanted a trim and, as soon as it was done, had dragged Michael away to shop for books and shoes. She was trying, without much subtlety, to work out what he liked; what he did for fun; if he was even capable of having fun. Waste of time, in Mazikeen’s opinion, especially considering that before the end of the week he’d probably run away to some dark hole where he could get back to wallowing in his bitterness. But maybe not. Eve clearly had hope and Mazikeen trusted her judgement.
As the assistants moved on to her other hand, her phone buzzed.
Glancing up to meet Britney’s gaze in the mirror, Mazikeen said, “Get that for me? My nails are wet and it’s probably Eve. Word’s got out what happens to all other humans who call me on a Saturday.”
The older woman’s blue eyebrows bounced as she picked up the phone. “Might be that tasty boss of yours!”
“Nope,” she muttered, old unhappiness flaring hot in her heart. “He only ever calls when he wants me to do something and right now, there’s nothing he can’t do himself.”
Britney held the phone up in front of her face.
There was a message from Linda.
Charlie’s missing his Auntie Maze – see u for dinner Tuesday? J <3
“Uh – are you crying?” asked Britney.
“No!” she snapped. “Just… shut up. Reply for me. Say yes. And add a knife emoji. I always use knife emojis.”
Just then, a white woman with long brown hair and skinny jeans strode purposefully into the salon.
Britney tutted and held up a hand. “Ma’am? I’m sorry, but Ms Smith has booked the entire…”
She trailed off as the woman’s eyes flashed red.
“Chantinelle,” Mazikeen greeted, spinning the chair round and crossing her legs regally. “It’s okay, Britney. She’s a friend. Well – an ally.”
Gravel-voiced, like she smoked heavily, the other demon drawled, “I’m touched, your great and gracious Majesty.”
Mazikeen snickered. “Bitch, get over here.”
With a smirk, Chantinelle marched over and planted a fierce kiss on her cheek.
“What news from Hell?” Mazikeen asked her sister.
Chantinelle briefed her while Britney and the others finished up her curls and manicure. They spoke in Lilim, Chantinelle parking her denim-clad butt on the vanity next to an arsenal of combs and keeping one eye on the door. She’d already tried twice to convince Mazikeen that a queen needed a bodyguard, to no avail.
When their meeting was concluded, Britney said, “So you’re from Holland, right? Oh! It’s a lovely country. My cousin lives there and she’s always telling me to visit.”
(Britney knew they weren’t from Holland. Britney knew they weren’t from Earth. Britney was one of those people who coped with uncomfortable realities like demons in her workplace by ignoring them.)
“Will you be coming home soon?” Chantinelle asked before she left.
Studying her reflection – avoiding her sister’s gaze – Mazikeen said, “Mmm. Yeah. Soon. Just got a few things to finish up here.”
“Well, don’t keep us waiting too long. The family misses you. I mean – it’s been years, y’know?”
“I know. I do.”
“I didn’t know you had a family,” Britney commented after Chantinelle had gone. “How come you never talk about them?”
Mazikeen handed over a wad of blood-spattered cash. “Eh. After a while, I figured out that nobody likes it when I do.”
She began making her way across the mall to Eve’s favourite shoe shop, then stopped when she approached the arcade and heard her girlfriend’s laugh over the beeps and buzzes of various games.
Unsurprised, she wandered in and found her on the Dance Dance Revolution platform, barefoot and skirt twirling as she beat the shit out of someone’s high score, surrounded by a crowd of cheering, applauding onlookers.
Michael stood off to the side, clutching three bulging shopping bags and looking mortified.
“I couldn’t stop her,” he hissed to Mazikeen. “What the hell? What the actual hell? I thought you were trying to maintain a reputation on this crummy rock! What’re your enemies going to think if this is how your allies behave in public?”
“I figure they’ll think something like, ‘Oh my God, she’s tapping that? I am going to literally die of jealousy’,” Mazikeen said, kicking off her stilettos and handing them to him. “Go fetch us some bottled water, wimp. We’ll be here for a while.”
Eve’s competitor on the adjacent platform yelped as Mazikeen shoved him off and took his place.
“Hi, pretty lady,” said Eve, her eyes sparkling. “You know I’ve been dancing for millions of years, right?”
Mazikeen grinned at her and tossed back her bombshell curls. “Bring it, beautiful.”
Out the corner of her eye, she saw Michael blush bright red.
0
What was he doing here?
“We are fifteen miles over the speed limit!”
Mazikeen cackled and drove faster. In the seat beside her, Eve punched the air and turned up the radio until Michael thought Rihanna’s voice would burst even his divine eardrums. (Contrary to his brother’s accusations, he did, in fact, enjoy some types of music. Just not when it was loud or fast-paced.)
“May I remind you of a crucial fact?” he demanded, having to shout to be heard. “It’s not me who’ll die if this thing flips! Angel, remember? You two are the ones who’ll be splattered all over the road! Hello? Is anybody listening to me?”
“I’m a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine,” Mazikeen sang.
The desert outside the cherry-red convertible they’d stolen in Las Vegas was a sickening blur and he hated it. Not that he’d never travelled this fast – though he was slower than just about all his siblings in the air, he could still outpace a jet. But flying under his own power couldn’t be compared to being trapped in this hideous human death trap under the command of a demon and a madwoman.
“I’ll be fine,” he said, this time to himself, gripping his seatbelt with both hands like it was the neck of an angry serpent. “Whatever happens. Even if we crash. They’ll die. I’ll be fine.”
“Hey!” called Eve, turning to look at him, squinting. “Are you really not having fun? Maze! Slow down! He’s not having fun.”
Mazikeen groaned but brought them back to a less terrifying percentage of light speed, while Eve undid her seatbelt and climbed into the back with Michael.
He sputtered. “Jesus H. Christ – you’re not supposed to do that while the vehicle is moving. Rules exist for a reason, goddammit.”
“I’m sorry we freaked you out,” Eve told him, with… confusing sincerity.
None of his siblings had ever apologised for frightening him, Lucifer least of all (“Aww – don’t be so nervous, brother!” and a golden laugh from the brave, adventurous Morningstar after he’d enticed Michael to fly with him into a hurricane for fun and the noise and sight of it had made his twin cry).
When Michael was young, he’d assumed that was because apologies were for lesser beings, like mortals – except that when he’d discovered his latent talent for underhanded pranks, his siblings had all turned around and demanded apologies from him. The pranks had become progressively mean-spirited after that.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop – for the punchline – he said, carefully, “It’s fine.”
The wind had blown Eve’s hair all over the place. As she brushed it out of her eyes, he was reminded that today she’d chosen to wear one of her thin white summer dresses, this one low-cut enough to make it clear that that was all she was wearing.
Now mischievous, she winked at him. “But you know… if I made a habit of following those rules you like so much, I’d still be married and bored out of my mind. Wanna kiss?”
He nearly jumped out of the car.
“Uh,” he croaked.
His gaze flickered past Eve’s inquisitive face to the back of Mazikeen’s head. How long did he have? How many milliseconds left before she turned around and tore out his throat in a fit of frenzied jealousy?
“Hell, yeah!” Mazikeen cheered, throwing up the horns. “One of you take a picture for me. Or, better yet, move over so I can see you in the rear view mirror.”
Eve’s chin tilted downwards as she examined Michael. “I dunno. Doesn’t seem like he’s into it. Er – yikes. Actually, I think he’s gonna throw up. Might wanna pull over, babe.”
“I’m not going to throw up! I just need… just need air. Could you sit back for a moment?” he hissed.
She did so and he got his breathing under control. Crap, his shoulder hurt so much today.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, fidgeting. “I didn’t mean to-…”
“Is this because of him?” Michael snarled, suddenly furious.
“What?”
“Him! Lucifer! He dumped you, yeah? And now you’re – what, trying to get back at him by hitting on me? Or is it just because I look like him so I’m the best substitute you can get, or-…”
She slapped him.
It hurt.
(It really did. What? Since when did getting hit by mortals hurt?)
Mazikeen whistled approvingly.
“No,” said Eve, half-growling. “I’m not like that. I don’t use people like that, Michael.”
He touched the part of his face where her skin had met his. It felt hot. Tingly. He swallowed. “Um – right. Got it.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
The anger in her eyes subsided. “Good. Now, would you like to kiss me or not? It’s fine if you don’t want to. You’ll still be part of the team. This is just for fun.”
Feeling oafish and off-kilter, he gestured at Mazikeen. “Won’t she mind?”
“Nope!” Mazikeen volunteered without hesitation.
Eve, exasperated, huffed, “I already asked her if she’d mind. Do you really think I’d put the offer on the table if I hadn’t? Whatever they say about me in the Silver City, I’m neither frivolous nor disloyal. I didn’t go behind Adam’s back when I fell in love with your brother; I told him to his face what I was doing.”
“Oh. Didn’t know that.”
“Because he didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t care. Adam was a decent man who didn’t love me at all. But Maze does, and I love her, and we’ve decided this is something we’re both okay with.”
“Yeah, most demons are poly,” Mazikeen told him. “As long as everyone’s on board and on the same page, you can hook up with whoever you like.”
“Last chance: kiss or no kiss?” said Eve.
She was close enough now for him to smell her perfume. His chest felt tight. “I don’t like ultimatums.”
“Okay. How about wagers? I bet you anything I’m the best kisser you’ve ever met. Or requests? Please, please kiss me, Michael. Or-…”
She was so warm. Her breath flowing into his mouth felt like drinking hot chocolate on a Winter’s night, sugary heat poured down his throat and filling up his whole chest.
His bones seemed to melt. He slid down the seat, half-pushed, until he lay almost flat with her on top of him, cradling his face in her hands, her thumbs making slow, comforting circles on his jaw.
“Ghnnff-fu-fuck,” he slurred.
That he was hard, and had been hard ever since he’d noticed how low-cut her dress was, seemed almost irrelevant in the face of far more interesting observations, like the soft grunts she made or the way her breasts felt pressed tight against him, until she slid a thigh between his legs.
He cried out. Arched.
“There you go,” she purred against his neck.
Elegant and effortless, she took off her shoes and her panties, and slid down onto his cock with a soft, fluttering sigh. Grabbed his hand and raised it to cover one of her nipples.
Just before he came, he opened his eyes and gazed up, and the sun had moved behind her, draining all but her edges of definition, and the wind had picked up her hair again and sent it billowing up and out, like dark wings. Like his wings.
“Michael! Ah!”
The car stopped.
“Huh,” said Mazikeen. “There’s something you don’t see every day.”
She pointed. Panting, they both followed her finger.
Across the sky, from one horizon to the next, the clouds had arranged themselves into the words
I LOVE YOU DETECTIVE !!!!
-LM
“Oh, crud,” said Eve.
0
Fuck the next bounty.
After thinking about it for ten seconds, Mazikeen turned them around and started driving straight for Los Angeles.
Eve can talk to him. Not me. He needs to talk to someone, and Eve will do.
Barely half a mile later, Amenadiel dropped out of the sky and landed in the middle of the road, just far enough away for her to bring the car to a screeching halt before it would otherwise have slammed into him like wet clay into a steel wall.
“We’ve got a problem,” he said, looking exhausted.
She snorted and pointed skyward. “Yeah. This? Not gonna lie, I was expecting something like this. But I thought it would take, like, at least a month.”
Wincing, Amenadiel said, “No, that’s… that’s a different problem and Chloe’s promised to discuss it with him. Maze, we need you back at Lux. Now.”
“Hi, Amenadiel!” Eve called, waving.
He succeeded in smiling at her without even glancing at Michael, despite his younger brother sitting right at her side, glaring fixedly.
“Why?” demanded Mazikeen, tensely drumming her fingers on the wheel. (Inner voice hissing, Shouldn’t have left him alone, you dumb bitch, you’ve been doing this for centuries and you know what he’s like when you leave him alone for more than five minutes.) “Seriously – what could he possibly need me for? He’s God.”
Sighing, Amenadiel put his wings away. “Mazikeen, we’re all well aware that Lucy often… has difficulty focusing. To put it mildly. There’s a lot more for him to focus on now than ever before. He’s trying to undo climate change. To that end, he started refreezing all the melted ice in the Arctic. But he did it too quickly and, resultantly, there are several hundred trapped ships we need to save and several thousand dead penguins to resurrect and, to be honest, he hasn’t really got the hang of resurrection yet – you remember what Dan looked like for the first few hours after Lucifer brought him back to life…”
“Eurgh. Yeah. Yuck. Totes not the kinda shit you’d wanna see in Happy Feet.”
Michael was snickering.
“Right. And then there are all the changes he’s been making locally,” Amenadiel went on. “The expansion of Lux, the overnight disappearance of all Los Angeles’ firearms, his deciding that the city’s white supremacist population should grow a third ear so they can be easily identified, and, well, it turns out that a lot of Chloe’s colleagues at the police station-…”
“I get it, I get it. Chaos everywhere. As usual. What, exactly, is the problem he wants me to fix?”
Amenadiel exhaled heavily. “The demons. The ones you brought from Hell to help us defeat Michael.”
“Oh, so you do remember I exist,” Michael muttered.
Stonily ignoring him, Amenadiel said, “They’re still on Earth and they’re causing trouble. The one called Dromos, in particular. He’s gathered followers and they’ve surrounded Lux.”
Her brother’s face – his real face, not the human puppet he wore – flashed through her mind’s eye; a memory from when they were unruly children and had raced through Hell together, using the stone pillars that they’d not yet known were cells as an obstacle course. She’d been faster; he, more athletic. Together with a few cousins, they’d made a fearsome team, and not even their meanest older siblings had bullied them.
She folded her arms and looked away. “They’re demons. Lucifer can deal with them. Snap his fingers and turn them into rats or whatever. Make them explode.”
“Mazikeen,” Eve murmured, soft and low, touching her shoulder. “You don’t want that. They’re your family.”
Amenadiel blinked, as though that hadn’t occurred to him. “Er… yes, there’s that. There’s also the fact that Lucifer doesn’t want all of humanity to see him as the type of God who casually annihilates his enemies; a harsh, vindictive God. He wants to be liked. To be loved.”
“Fine. So why don’t you and the other angels sort it out?”
“Come now, Maze. A bunch of angels and a bunch of demons waging war in the midst of a bustling city? Humans will die. But you’re the Queen of Hell now and, by extension, the Queen of Demons. If you command Dromos to stand down, he will. This can all be resolved peacefully.”
Eve’s fingertips were cool against her skin.
Mazikeen looked back at the sky. The cloud letters were starting to dissolve. “What does he want?”
“Who?”
“Dromos. He doesn’t act on instinct. He’s a planner. He wants something.”
Shrugging, Amenadiel said, “He shouted at me about demanding an audience with the king. I didn’t ask for details. I don’t really care. Dromos isn’t someone I’m inclined to listen to at the best of times. The last time the wretch showed his face on Earth, he kidnapped my son.”
“Mmm. Kinda like your sister was gonna do. Kinda like you were gonna do, now that I think about it.”
“Maze!” he gasped, sounding shocked and hurt. “You can’t compared poor Remiel’s misguided actions to-…”
“I’ll do it,” she interrupted. “Take me to Lux. Now.”
“Excuse me? What about us?” snapped Michael.
Mazikeen met Eve’s gentle gaze. “You don’t need to be involved in this. My family drama, it – it’s not pretty.”
“My son killed my son,” said Eve, taking her hand. “My husband loved another woman. I’m used to drama.”
Swallowing, Mazikeen glanced at Michael. “And you, wimp?”
Feigning disinterest – feigning it badly – he said, “You showed up to my last domestic dispute. Guess this’ll make us square.”
“I’ve only got two arms. I can’t carry all of you,” Amenadiel pointed out.
Mazikeen rubbed her chin. “No… but you can carry the car, right?”
0
He didn’t have time for this. There was so much to do.
“World hunger,” he recited as he bounced from one laptop to the next, all twenty-three of them displaying a different article or video by a leading scientific or sociological mind, “wealth inequality, pollution, cancer, droughts, racism, elderly abuse, housing shortages, cruelty to animals…”
“Lucifer,” said Linda patiently, sitting on his best couch with her legs crossed, a cup of coffee and a laptop of her own beside her. “You said you wanted my advice as to how you should manage this whole ‘being God’ business.”
“I do, doctor! Very much. Your input is invaluable. Blast, where did I put that map of Alaska? I’m thinking of making it bigger; slotting it in alongside the Arctic to help stabilise all that new ice.”
“Right. Thanks. So here – here is what I’m suggesting now; slow down. Seriously. Take a breath, step back, and think your next move through.”
He scoffed. “‘Slow down’? Doctor, I need to work at least three times faster if I’m to keep up with everything. There are people suffering everywhere, millions of them! There are sinners in need of punishment! I’m seriously considering asking Chloe to be my Deputy God. I never imagined omnipotence would entail so much paperwork and she’s always been better at that than me.”
Outside the penthouse, many stories below, the chanting grew louder. None of the human police officers, journalists, and gawkers who’d gathered to watch could understand it; it was in Lilim.
Cursing, Lucifer strode to the balcony and shouted down, “For the last time, would you all kindly piss off? I’m trying to fix an entire planet here!”
He heard the elevator open and moaned. “Detective, not now. Please. I’m very sorry I haven’t returned your calls – I swear I’m not avoiding you – it’s just that I’ve got a lot on my plate today and we did already agree to meet for supper at-…”
“Lucifer,” said Linda, sounding terrified.
“Lucifer,” said someone else, sounding irritable.
Now that he was God, rage didn’t turn his eyes red anymore. It turned them gold and blindingly bright, like spotlights. Fists clenched, he turned to see Dromos step into the penthouse, once again clad in the flesh of the late Father Kinley and wearing a leather jacket.
“Nice trick, making all the doors disappear. Finally decided to climb up the side of the building with a sledgehammer and burrow my way through into the elevator shaft,” said the demon, hands in his pockets and concrete dust coating his beard and his bald head. “I want to talk to you, sire.”
Storming across the room while Linda remained frozen, white-faced, on the couch, Lucifer snarled, “You! You have the nerve to come here, to stand before me, after what you did to my nephew?”
He took Dromos by the neck and lifted him off the ground, his wings opening in fury (he had six of them now).
Stoical even as he choked, Dromos said, “I need. To talk. I will leave immediately afterwards.”
“Oh, you’ll leave, alright! You’ll be lucky if I don’t throw you into an active volcano, you accursed traitor!”
Dromos’ stolen skin began to sizzle beneath his fingers. He waited until the demon’s face was wrinkled with pain before throwing him to the floor hard enough to crack the wood and make a crater.
“I will leave,” Dromos gasped, coughing up blood, “when I have spoken.”
“What could you possibly have to say for yourself? Kidnapper. Child-thief.”
Still on the couch, Linda said tremulously, “Lucifer, you’re… you’re hurting him. Stop it. Please.”
“Let us stay!” shouted Dromos, and coughed again before dragging himself up onto his knees. “On Earth. That’s what I came to say. Let your erstwhile subjects stay on Earth if they choose – at least, those who served you in the battle against Michael. Don’t force them to return to Hell. Let them, let us choose where we live, going forward. That’s my request, your Majesty. My only request.”
Lucifer boggled at him. “Is that a joke? Demons? On Earth, indefinitely, unsupervised? Are you out of your tiny mind, Dromos?”
Baring teeth, Dromos said, “Why not? What does it matter to you now? You’ve got everything you could possibly want. Everything anyone could possibly want! All we’re asking is the freedom to come and go as we please.”
“No.”
He spoke the word bluntly, and then he stepped back, adjusting his cuffs. Regaining his composure. “Never. You’re dangerous and untrustworthy. This world is for humans, not you. Good grief, haven’t I got enough to preoccupy my mind, without the added stress of demons rampaging around town?”
“We won’t rampage. We just-…”
“Why are you even coming to me with this? Mazikeen’s the new Queen of Hell. Didn’t you get the memo?”
Dromos wiped blood from his lips. “I don’t know if my sister and I are on speaking terms right now. And she may be Queen, but you’re God; I assumed you would be tasked with such decisions. After all, there’s never been a demon in charge of Hell before. We were told – we were always told – that only angels could rule us. I don’t doubt Mazikeen’s competence, but I…”
He seemed to run out of steam, spreading his hands and finishing weakly, “Lucifer, you’re the king. You’ve been the king for millions of years. For my entire life. Look, if you really don’t want us leaving Hell, then can you at least use your newfound power to improve it? Let us have the things mortals enjoy? Pianos, dogs, blankets, weekends, all that stuff?”
Lucifer rolled his eyes. “That would rather defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it? Hell is supposed to be a place of punishment. The ultimate consequence awaiting sinners. I need a carrot and a stick, Dromos. How else am I supposed to convince people to behave if I don’t? Imagine a rapist arriving in Hell and being confronted with demons playing pianos and walking their dogs. Wouldn’t have quite the desired effect, would it?”
Dromos was quiet for a moment, then said without inflection, “Perhaps you could find somewhere else to put rapists. Somewhere other than our home.”
Throwing up his arms, Lucifer said, “More demands! Don’t you see how selfish you’re being? Here I am, doing my best to end all suffering, and you’re complaining about babysitting a few evil-doers – which, might I remind you, is your job. Nay, your very reason for existence. Always has been. Why’re you getting stroppy about it now?”
“I think,” Linda began, taking a tentative step forward before stopping and clearing her throat. “Excuse me. May I interrupt? Um. Okay, so I think that maybe Dromos has a point here, Lucifer.”
“Doctor! This is the creature that stole your baby!”
“Yes, I know. And I’m not saying I forgive him for that, but…”
“I wasn’t going to eat the brat,” Dromos grumbled. “I was going to make him a king.”
“You took him away from his mother!” Lucifer shouted.
“Gentlemen!” said Linda, sharply. “Please! Let’s try to talk this through like adults.”
Overcome with frustration, and only vaguely aware that he’d not been sleeping well lately, Lucifer kicked the nearest chair. “I can’t believe you’re siding with him, doctor.”
“I’m not siding with anyone. I-…”
“You don’t know these people like I do. You didn’t spend millions of years in Hell alongside them. The only demon you’ve ever gotten acquainted with is Maze, and she’s not like the others; even without a soul, she’s learned how to behave like a more-or-less civilised adult, barring the occasional tantrum. But your average, baseline demon has nothing to them besides wrath and cruelty. Lilith made them to be weapons and that’s all they really are. I mean – just imagine, for a moment, how hard it was for me. To go from the Silver City, the most beautiful place ever created, to a lightless nightmare realm full of these bloodthirsty animals. To be surrounded by them, for endless eons, while they nattered mindlessly on and on about how much they love torture and pain and…”
He trailed off. Linda and Dromos were both looking past him.
To the elevator. Where – oh – Mazikeen was standing.
Where Mazikeen was crying.
No sobs, not like when Dan had died. No expression at all, really. Just open eyes, motionless muscles, and steady tears.
Before Lucifer could say a word, she pressed the button to close the elevator doors.
“Wait!” he yelped, sprinting over to stop them.
He needn’t have bothered. Now that he was God, objects did whatever he told them to do. The doors stilled, half-open.
“That sounded wrong,” he acknowledged, clasping her shoulders in apology. “You completely missed the context. What I was trying to say was-…”
“Don’t touch me.”
It was a phrase he’d heard many times before from mortal lovers to whom he had accidentally revealed his Devil Face. Some of them said it in horror. Some of them, the religious ones, said it in anger.
Mazikeen looked neither horrified nor angry. She looked sick. As though the very sight of him turned her stomach.
Lumbering over, Dromos stepped into the elevator alongside her and pointedly pressed the button again. With no idea what to do or say, Lucifer allowed the machinery to work.
The elevator closed.
“What have I done?” he asked Linda.
0
Nothing I didn’t know.
“Maze?” called Eve, waiting by the car with the others as Mazikeen stepped out of Lux’s front door and into the sunlight.
The door hadn’t been there when they’d arrived. She’d been forced to use Dromos’ route. Lucifer must have decided to put it back. He could do that now. Just decide things. Didn’t need servants, nor followers, nor anyone. Sure didn’t need a ‘more-or-less civilised adult’ whose kin were animals.
“Maze! Wait!”
Mazikeen didn’t know where she was going, only that she was walking very quickly and felt that she’d die if she stopped. She heard Eve’s heels patter on the pavement and heard her say her name a third time, quiet and worried, and that was what stilled her feet.
“What happened?” murmured Eve, cupping her face.
The fifty or so demons who’d been standing around outside Lux when Amenadiel had set the car and its passengers down were still there. Instead of chanting to get their king’s attention, they were now looking at her.
Michael and Amenadiel stood among them, the latter having been trying to convince them to stop blocking traffic.
Which was what she should have been doing. It was what he’d brought her here to do. But she’d been gripped by a sudden, violent need to see Lucifer, to check on him, just quickly, before tending to her siblings. Once a bodyguard, always a bodyguard.
Except that wasn’t what I was. Not to him. To him, I was a Rottweiler on a leash.
“Are you alright?” asked Amenadiel, his eyes overflowing with concern.
That was what cracked her.
To him. Not to everyone. Not to Eve, or Amenadiel, or Linda. It’s not that I’m incapable of earning love and respect.
I’m just incapable of earning his.
Her legs gave out. She crumpled against Lux’s outside wall and started to weep properly, loud and bitter.
Eve immediately dropped down beside her, holding her tight. Michael shuffled closer, rubbing his shoulder while his mouth opened and shut, testing out sentences that were never spoken.
Then Dromos was there, kneeling, his face sad and tired.
“We did what we were told,” she said to him in Lilim, through sniffles. “We obeyed. We were loyal. We… we…”
“We are alone, sister,” he replied. “But I think we always were.”
“We obeyed!”
“We obeyed Lilith and she left. We obeyed Lucifer and he left. No one wants us, Mazikeen. It’s just the truth.”
She took a shuddering breath and squeezed her eyes shut. “No. I want us.”
Seizing his jacket’s shoulder, she hauled herself to her feet and addressed the crowd, her voice raw: “I want you! You’re my family and I want you! And I swear I will be the queen you deserve, for as long as you’ll have me!”
Her human skin fell away, the left side of her face turning cold, bony, and brittle.
Stepping back to join their siblings, Dromos asked hesitantly, “What would you have us do, then, my queen? What are your orders?”
Hurriedly drying her eyes, she studied them one by one. “Whoever wants to can stay here. But I’m going home. Hell is going to be ours, Dromos. No more damned souls. No more angels. It’s ours now and we’re going to make it into something we can love.”
She turned to face Eve and Michael, her heart pounding. “You’ll come with me, yeah? You’ll stand with me?”
“Always,” said Eve, closing in to kiss her.
“Whatever,” Michael muttered, clearly just relieved that the crying part was over.
Amenadiel sighed, shaking his head gravely. “Mazikeen, are you sure this is what you want? You won’t be able to leave Hell on your own – you’ll need to contact me.”
“Yeah. At least until this one grows his feathers back,” she said, gesturing at Michael. “That’s okay. You’ll always come when I call, right?”
“Of course. You’re my friend, Maze. I’m sorry if I haven’t said that often enough.”
Fuck it. Cringing on the inside, Mazikeen drew Amenadiel into a quick, gruff hug. “You too, idiot.”
TO BE CONTINUED
#lucifer#mazikeen#lucifer morningstar#eve#michael#michael demiurgos#amenadiel#dan espinoza#linda martin#fanfic#my fic
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Hey bestie!! Yeah that was me the other day with the mangos, seriously I really shoulda looked it up or something cuz that was almost as bad as the time i accidentally used powdered sugar instead of flour. I hope whatever beings that look down at us like ants talk about me like posts about jensen ackles. Maybe i wanna be the pretty man with the fruity little boots! You ever been in onea those houses that look like hgtv? I Do Not Belong Here. Also i forgot my meds at home lmfaooo. Youve probably seen those oil pumps, the ones that look like birds pecking, yeah? (unrelated but onetime we found some frog eggs in the water tank of one and we took em home and raised em up into frogs!). And they have those out in the ocean, one exploded recently i think?? So we was watchin a video on em and apparently they build em close to each other and idk if the guys from one rig will boat to another to like play cards or something but i think it would be fun if they did. Also i think theyre kinda rad looking, like if they werent so bad for the enviroment and stuff i think ppl should just live on those. I guess itd be hard to make money there? Tho they can be fairly self sufficient too i think. But ok there was this scooby doo episode on onea these and velma was like gay for this mermaid?? Idk it was pretty much my fav one except ofc she turned out not actually being a mermaid which was lame cuz i think mermaids fuckin rock. Tho i think the idea of freshwater mermaids is much cooler. Like imagine getting pulled to ur death in a river not by the undertow but cuz u stepped too close to a mermaid hole. Fuckin awesome shit there. Ohh speaking of which I seen ur thing on japanesenatural, but like. Thats such a clever take on spn??? Everything i know about japanese ppl comes secondhand, friends, neighbors, social studies, etc. but i like reading about ur stuff on it. Every time someone takes spn and looks at it through a different lense, especially identity based, its always so good. Its about giving fictional characters ur lived experiences and processing things thru them ig. Also i saw yall was talking about poems earlier and while i dont know a lot of em i rlly like that one about the orange and idk if someone brought that one up already. “I love you im glad i exist” OK!!!!!! OK!!!!!!!!!!! I am feeling some things! Love how cas is very into bees like every time this bitch mentions insects im just!!!! Mmmm and i personally, being rhe person who has a ton of useless info on insects (not so much specifically bees but i know some. Mostly cuza castiel actually.) very much enjoy this. Yessssss lets talk about insects ily bestie!! I love being friends with other queer ppl…. Like omg same! I dont remember what i said to u last time also i feel like i just talked a lot so im gonna go before i start repeating myself also isnt it so frickin crazy its sunday??? And like the 4th of july. Here they only can have sponsored city approved firework shows so they already did those, but back home peoplell still be shootin off fireworks till next sunday lol. Im glad we arent doing anything this year. Learning from perspectives outside of the country has made patriotism taste much more rotten. How ru????????? I think its weird when ppl have cameras everywhere like in the house im in theres an ipad set up in the kitchen and u can see every angle of the outsidea the house. Some guy in my neighborhood has like floodlights and a buncha cameras all over their house that always comes on when im walkin the dogs at night and ik they got robbed a few times so /ig/ it makes sense but also theyre all really annoying and the dad is a cop and every person in my neighborhood who got robbed was a total asshole so like??? Is it rlly a crime if its funny?? Mbby if u stopped posting about qanon on facebook ppl would like u more smh. No but crime is bad ig. I wish ppl would garden with me cuz a lotta these people have nice manicured lawns (and seriously FUCK those. Biodiversity ftw babey!!) but dont rlly know how to garden which is different from me cuz i know how im just bad at it
DSFJJSDFJKL dba first off. powdered sugar instead of FLOUR????? also im so glad you like japanesenatural i think it's very fun as well! tasty treat just for me. as for the orange poem it's literally my favorite poem of all time i read it for the first time like sitting in class and fully tearing up it's so good. happy fourth of july to you too! i hope you have many people to talk insects with bestie. as for gardens i literally killed my little cactus i kept in a window sooooo. oops. i'll leave that to u guys.
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SpiderMan Noir Headcanons
S F W:
- he gets very flustered very easily, but he's good at hiding it. for instance, of you say something to compliment him he'll just blush up and cross his arms, quietly thanking you for the compliment and seeming like he doesn't care much. but under that mask his face is bright red and his mind is racing
- since he has such bad eyesight (he's near sighted) he can really barely see without his glasses, so he ends up getting very nervous when he can't find them in the morning. like his eyesight is so bad that if he tries to look at something without the mask it's just a blur of mixed colors and light and he can't make out anything
- this causes him to actually have lenses specifically for his eye type in his mask, rather than having a pear of bulky glasses underneath. it's more tactical that way (can't punch nazis if you can't see em)
- he doesn't actually take a lot of time to do his hair in the morning, surprisingly. while his hair isn't extremely neat and he takes pride in how cleanly cut it is, he ends up not having the time to actually do it. he's either rushing out or the door to work or rushing to stop some crime that's been happening that requires urgent assistance. this also means that he barely ever eats breakfast, and when he does he ends up just stuffing it in his face before running out of the door
- with an s/o I'd imagine he'd try to regulate this so he can eat breakfast with them in the morning, but that almost never happens and he ends up coming home nearly exhausted and ends up just eating dinner with them instead
- on the rare occasion he does get to spend some quality time with them though, he makes the most of it by giving them ALOT of affection. quite honestly he appreciates them, even though he thinks he doesn't do a good job of showing it sometimes. he's young but he's always busy
- normally peter’s a pretty clean guy, and so if he's on a patrol he doesn't exactly get hurt a lot, but he's not invincible. most of the time he ends up coming home at 3:00 am with his side bleeding or some of his clothes ripped, resulting in you having to haul out of bed to stitch him up. honestly you should have a medical degree by now from how many times he's come home needing stitches
- since his timeline takes place during WWII, it's safe to assume that he's nearly an expert on being conservative. no, I don't mean conservative as in run-of-the-mill dude in the southern hills, I mean conservative as in repairing nearly everything. seriously, he doesn't want to have to spend money on new clothes and so he just resorts to repairing everything
- this means that socks, shirts, even things that have just grown old with time are usually mended up and fixed in no time, earning him nearly expert stitching skills. he's even sewed a few things! (even though he ended up forgetting about them entirely and denying he ever made them once you'd find them)
- idk where I found the pic, but I saw this art of noir smoking and I was like 👀 interesting do you mind if I take that concept dear sir/ma’am/unspecified-gender-person (actually wait i found it https://mobile.twitter.com/kookirani/status/1082319828247994369)
- yeah, he smokes, I know that's craaaaazy
- it's mostly a coping mechanism, in all honesty. on the contrary he wouldn't know that its kinda dangerous though, since smoking was deemed as dangerous in the late 1950s and WWII took place during the late 1930s-1940s. so yeah, to him it's totally normal (a lil bit of facts there for y'all)
- a lot of the time you'll be able to find him standing on the balcony with a cigarette between his lips, his shirt off for the bandages and other things to get some air as he tries to ease into his own comfortability and think over what he could've done better over the past patrol. it's almost like an assessment of sorts
- speaking of not having shirts on, he's about 5″10 and has a sorta muscular build. obviously his shoulders a broad, and so he really look so like a grown ass man with his deep voice to accompany his aesthetic. he's got a lot of scars as well from previous accidents, such as one on his lower torso from being stabbed while breaking up a street fight and one on his knee where he accidentally flew into a wall. but while he may seem rough and hardened on the exterior, he's got a few weaknesses that prove that he's really just a kid wearing a suit (he's 19 btw)
- on an angst level, he's too compassionate for his own good. for instance, he doesn't kill, but finds it right in his mind to offer redemption to his opponents while still defending the weak and helpless, just as he once was. while he's not a complete pushover obviously he does help people a lot out of the mask. people are struggling during these times, and the women and families that need his help are still out there and around him (it's WWII, shits not great)
- this means that he frequently fixes things for neighbors when they can't afford a repairman, comforts kids who lost their mothers in the crowded streets of Queens, defends minorities both with and without the mask, and so on and so forth. overall he's just a nice guy with a strong sense of justice, and doesn't mind to occasional scrape or so on his knees if it means protecting the people he cares about without even meeting
- peter ends up getting a little...reckless because of this though
- when that's said, that's means that he will literally jump in front of a bullet for anyone. even if it gets him hurt. he's selfless, and a lot of the time he's hurt because of it. but telling him that he can't possibly save everyone is pointless
- “"So what? I should stop trying just because I can't help everyone? That means helping no one gets the same results. I'm not gonna watch people drop like flies cause I can't save the world.”
- yeah angsty as fuck, but he means it. his words come out harsh, but he tries to apologize for being so rough
- “"I'm sorry, I just...” He'd pause. “"I can't watch it anymore. I'm not a bystander. I won't be a bystander.”
- and with that he'll pull you into a hug and just hold onto you tightly, almost as if you'll fade away and leave him if he doesn't
- you're part of him, and you might be on earth of the only things keeping him safe. you're the representation of the good he protects, and god help him I feel he ever fails at something to simple
- anyway that's enough angst let's talk about LIVING with him :3
- it's the little moments that mean the most to him, in all honesty. he doesn't even need you to be the domestic one really, since he views you both as a team rather than husband and housewife
- he usually does most of the cleaning and cooking though I'd imagine since Aunt May taught him to clean up after himself and respect his and everyone else’s space. you going out and getting groceries or just cleaning the clothes for him is enough, so if you're one to typically work around the house more often and take the time to make sure everything's is perfect, he'll partially thank heaven they sent you to him and feel a lot like he's slacking on his part
- he likes to pamper you, give you gifts. expect a bouquet of flowers almost every Friday when he comes home, his smile wide on his face as he professes his love to you through a bunch of cheesy one-liners
- but he also likes to be taken care of and pampered himself, although he never admits it. once again anything small makes him happy, so if you go all out he literally can't stop thanking you. washing his hair, cooking for him, making him things, he loves everything, and appreciates the thought behind it
- to be honest I'm sure he's not really attracted to a certain body type in particular, it's your kindness that infatuated him. generally polite, kindof shy people just make him that much more enamoured, but he likes someone with a good head on their shoulders and a strong sense of justice and morality just as much (if not more)
- if you were a crime fighter, peter would be absolutely enamoured with you. he knows you can hold up your own better this way, and that you don't really need that much protection. he prefers to work alone, but if he has to work as a partner with anyone it'd be you and ONLY you. no third wheels
- but this comes with a downside; peter gets extremely worried when you get injured. he knows better than anyone that it's really just part of the job, but his heart can't help but stammer a little when he sees a bloody lip and bruises all over. you bet your ass he’ll take care of whoever hurt you asap if you haven't yourself
- you hurt his s/o your ass is grass m8
- he also doesn't get really jealous, but if someone is hitting on you he feels not worthy enough or just angry in general
- he usually needs a lot of reassurance, maybe a hug or a kiss after he gets particularly emotionally exhausted. he likes to sit in silence a lot, either thinking or just watching you as you do chores around the house or watch tv. he loves you a lot, and he could watch you just absentmindedly talk about your day or your friends for hours
- really random btw, but this dude can sing. he doesn't think it really necessary so he doesn't outwardly flaunt it, but when he's listening to a song he likes it's easy to catch him humming along to the tune or singing the chorus. it's deep, breathy, right on the verge of raspy almost, and his eyes seem calm when he does
- usually he really only listens to jazz and swing, so you can listen to him using his voice perfectly when the singer over the radio hits a particularly complicated note. if you catch him in the act though he'll immediately blush up, his whole face turning red as he stutters out something to say
- you'd take his hand, grinning, asking him he'd want to dance with you as you smile up at him widely. he agrees, letting his body press to yours as you slow dance around the kitchen, living room, etc. his head will drop to your shoulder, inhaling your scent as he sings softly to you and sways gently from side to side, sharing a moment of wordless emotion that you both understand, share, and relish in. he’ll kiss you, letting his hands fall to your waist loosely to grip you as yours to his shoulders in a sort of grounding gesture. and so you dance, sharing a quiet waltz as lovers in the comfort of your modest home
- all in all, he loves you, too much to where you'd ever imagine. he's not exactly the most sensual, yeah, but that doesn't mean he won't try. you mean the world to him, and he'll go through hell and back just to keep that smile on your face and those eyes bright
( for https://zovatm.tumblr.com/, love you bro <3
- Ya Boi 🖤💜💛)
#spiderman noir#spiderman#into the spider verse#headcanons#peter parker#peter parker headcanons#noir#spiderman noir headcanons#noir headcanons#spiderman noir imagine#headcanon#imagine#peter parker imagine#peter#marvel#mcu#earth 90214
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Tag the last
I was tagged by @lovebeingsoexxtrajisoo thank you sweetie!!!!!!!!!
drink: wine {´◕ ◡ ◕｀}
phone call: my guy friend -_-
text message: "apsiramink, tu girtas eik miegot idk” which means "chill, go to sleep you’re drunk idk"
song you listened: SMNM - Million ft. Compulsive
time you cried: I don’t cry (¬_¬)
HAVE YOU EVER
Dated someone twice: nein
kissed someone and regretted it: yes ;-;
been cheated on: that requires having a s/o so nah man
lost someone special: yep
been depressed: yes
gotten drunk and thrown up: i actually can drink shit loads until I puke, tho it happened like 1 time as I never puke, Im a hardcore drinker like thatヽ(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ
3 FAVOURITE COLORS
Purple, black and red
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU
made new friends: yes
fallen out of love: yes
laughed until you cried: yes
found out someone was talking about you: ppl talk shit abt me all the time and yeh I know
met someone who changed you: uuhm maybe a bit?
found out who your friends are: yes
kissed someone on your facebook list: yes
ABOUT
how many facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t accept ppl unless I know them (at least have talked to them or saw them in rlf)
do you have any pets: yes, a cat and a doggo (◕‿◕✿)
do you want to change your name: nah, i think its pretty okay for an uncooked noodle like me 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ
what did you do for your last birthday: got drunk lmaoooo
what were you doing at midnight last night: yesterday was actually new years so i was looking at the fireworks with my bestie
name something you can’t wait for: the day when I’ll figure out what i want to do with my life
when was the last time you saw your mom: today like an hour ago
what are you listening to right now: joji - i don’t wanna waste my time
have you ever talked to a person named tom: i got 2 classmates with that name
something that is getting on your nerves: people, wet things that shouldn’t be wet.
most visited website: youtube, facebook and spotify
hair color: purple/silver/pinkish tho natural hair color is light blonde
long or short hair: long
do you have a crush on someone: do youtubers or idols count?
what do you like about yourself: I got an okay sense of humor I’m very loyal and brutally honest.
blood type: A
nickname: Monii, Waffle, Jinx
relationship status: single and ready to mingle (single pringle basically)
zodiac: cancer
pronouns: she/her
favourite tv show: parks and recreations, rick and morty, regular show.
tattoos: none tho I’d like to have sum.
right or left handed: right
surgery: none (i fukken wish)
FAVORITES
sport: volleyball
pair of shoes: converse just a tad bit above the ankle
food: lasagna
drink: tea
i’m about to: play some video games boii
♥‿♥
FUTURE
waiting for: that someone who will put up with my shit (´｡✪ω✪｡｀)
want: lots of things, wouldn’t be able to list them all.
get married: yesssssss
career: haven’t decided yet T-T
WHICH IS BETTER
hugs or kisses: HUGS
lips or eyes: eyes
shorter or taller: if between a boy then taller if a girl then idk, i’m usually the tall friend I like girls who are taller than me tho.
older or younger: older
nice arms or nice stomach: I really dont give a ff..flower
hook up or relationship: relationsheep
troublemaker or hesitant: why not both
(ʃƪ¬‿¬)
HAVE YOU EVER
kissed a stranger: nah
drank hard liquor: ofc
lost glasses/contact lenses: dont wear em
turned someone down: yes
sex on the first date: nein
broken someone’s heart: i think so?
had your heart broken: yes
been arrested: nah, I’ve ran from cops a couple of times tho
fallen for a friend: meeeeh, kinda ?
cried when someone died: I don’t rememer, haven’t experienced so much losses worth of crying
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
yourself: naaaah
miracles: nein
love at first sight: yes
santa claus: lol he’s my uncle
kiss on the first date: depends if I like the person.
I tag @exo-bts-fanfics-imagines @xiubaek13 ; @oh-beyond and @jungk0oksthighs just bc I thnk these blogs are amazing (and you don’t have to do this if u dont want to, i’ll still luv yall) ٩(｡•ω•｡)و Fighting!
Also, ive had some problems uploading this post. the questions were answered on jan 1st, though im finally uploading this on jan 3rd. Im sorry ;-;
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rules: answer these 85 statements & tag 20 people
Thank you @ripercy for tagging me!
I tag: @softpercy @demidorks @olympusisbleeding @percysbluepizza @prometheuis @ethanakamura @mytinygayitalianson @charlesbeckendorf @preatorpercy @preatoreyna @blackjacktheboss @herhmione and im too lazy to tag anymore ppl so 12 is good enough
the last:
1. drink: water- i had field hockey game so i chugged that hsit
2. phone call: my mom
3. text message: to my friend abt tswift!!
4. song you listened to: Forever and Always - Piano Version ~ Taylor Swift
5. time you cried: im usually not emotional but actually like two days ago
have you ever:
6. dated someone twice: not even once
7. kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone so? no
8. been cheated on: no
9. lost someone special: yup...
10. been depressed: Kinda?
11. gotten drunk & thrown up: no
favorite colors:
12. purple
13. black
14. purple again bc everything i own is purple
in the last year have you:
15. made new friends: yes a few
16. fallen out of love: never been in love ;)
17. laughed until you cried: YES omg gym class this past school year
18. found out someone was talking about you: i dont think so
19. met someone who changed you: nope
20. found out who your friends are: fucking yes, i literally dropped everyone except for like 4 ppl
21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: still havent kissed anyone so
general:
22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them i think
23. do you have any pets: my cat dice and my doggo murphy
24. do you want to change your name: i only would bc everyone is fucking named emily these days
25. what did you do for your last birthday: i went out dinner with a few friends!
26. what time did you wake up: 6:30 UGH fuck field hockey
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: SLEEPIN
28. name something you can’t wait for: Taylors new album!! also ed sheeran in 1 MONTH
31. what are you listening to right now: Ours-Taylor Swift
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes
33. something that is getting on your nerves: being! excluded! from! everything!
34. most visited website: tumblr or instagram or youtube
35. hair colour: dirty blonde/ light brown? idk anymore
36. long or short hair: medium ;)
39. piercings: ears! i wanna get more than just the two
40. blood type: no clue
41. nicknames: em, em curls,
42. relationship status: single
43. zodiac: gemini
44. pronouns: she/her
45. favourite tv show: PARKS AND REC, and Jane the Virgin
46. tattoos: nope
47. right or left handed: right
48. surgery: tonsils when i was little?
49. piercing: didnt we already do this
50. sport: field hockey, swim, and lacrosse (even tho im quitting ;) )
51. vacation: most often in california
52. pair of trainers: idk? nike? who tf calls sneakers trainers
more general
53. eating: just had a hamburger
54. fav drink: arizona iced tea!
55. what you’re up to: jus scrolling on tumblr
56. waiting for: my mother to come home
57. want: to go back to school with no stress
58. get married: in like 10 years
59. career: no fuckin idea
which is better:
60. hugs or kisses: hugs idk i have no experience with kisses
61. lips or eyes: eyes
62. shorter or taller: shorter
63. older or younger: younger
64. nice arms or nice stomach: stomach
65. hook up or relationship: relationship PleasE
66. troublemaker or hesitant: neither
have you ever:
67. kissed a stranger: nope
68. drank hard liquor: nope
69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no
70. turned someone down: yes i think?
71. sex on the first date: no
72. broken someone’s heart: i hope not
73. had your heart broken: no
74. been arrested: oh god no
75. cried when someone died: yes
76. fallen for a friend: no
do you believe in
77. yourself: absolutely... not
78. miracles: yes!
79. love at first sight: sure why not
80. santa claus: sorry santa
81. kiss on the first date: i guess so
82. angels: i want to believe
other
83. current best friend’s name: christine!
84. eye colour: hazel but its basically just a dump of colors
85. favourite movie: theres too many to pick...
#Text#ask games#this was fun i havent doe one of these in a whiles#it took me so long to finds mutuals bc all my mutuals have unfollowed me#lmaooo
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rules: answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people
tagged by: @oikkawatooru thank u for tagging me 💖
tagging: @angelpolvo @rnagnusbabe @wishes-and-stars @narghargs @silkycrown @claryfightwood @stupidandwicked @dorkitis and anyone else that might want to do this bc i cant think of 20 people to tag
last:
1. drink: fanta
2. phone call: mi madre
3. text message: the main gc
4. song you listened to: killing strangers - marilyn manson
5. time you cried: yesterday bc i was fighting my bestie over an ugly picture on her phone and she accidently hit me in the face 😂 but im good no permanent damage
have you:
6. dated someone twice: haven’t even dated someone once tbh
7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope
8. been cheated on: nah
9. lost someone special: yea
10. been depressed: kinda?
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yup
list 3 favorite colors:
12-14. pink, burgundy and black (yes its a color leave me be)
in the last year have you:
15. made new friends: yess omg it was so unexpected but it feels like ive known them for years now
16. fallen out of love: nope
17. laughed until you cried: yeah a lot
18. found out someone was talking about you: yea two of them who tryna shit talk about me to my friends 😂
19. met someone who changed you: definitely
20. found out who your friends are: i guess? idk id like to think so
21. kissed someone on your facebook list: dont have fb but if i had probably
general:
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: dont have fb but if my insta is anything to go by probably like half
23. do you have any pets: no 😭
24. do you want to change your name: nah i like my name
25. what did you do for your last birthday: small hangout with my closest friends
26. what time did you wake up: 9 am im very proud of fixing my sleep schedule
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: netflixin
28. name something you can’t wait for: camping trip with my fam in august and my exchange trip to america
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago
30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: me, being actually motivated to do stuff instead of lazing around in my bed
31. what are you listening to right now: fantasy - alina baraz
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: does a guy named tommy count? he went to my primary school and was a dick
33. something that is getting on your nerves: the weather in nl atm
34. most visited websites: asos, tumblr, youtube & instagram
35. mole/s: i have like 8 of em
36. mark/s: does scarring count? bc i have a lot due to me being rly clumsy
37. childhood dream: become a psychologist
38. hair color: brown
39. long or short hair: its short atm bc i had to cut of all the dead hair
40. do you have a crush on someone: nope
41. what do you like about yourself: my eyelashes, being straightforward, good at makeup, giving good advice and being extroverted and nice to talk to (im also very humble if you couldnt guess)
42. piercings: got 2 lobe piercings in each my ears and gonna get a double helix soon!
43. blood type: i think its b but idk for sure
44. nickname: youve got maan(tje), moenie, and, per courtsey of my niece, rat, which is always nice
45. relationship status: single
46. zodiac: capricorn
47. pronouns: she/her
48. favuorite tv show: sense8, black mirror, voltron, shadowhunters and castlevania
49. tattoos: none, but id like some eventually
50. right or left hand: right
51. surgery: nope
52. hair dyed in different color: i had it blond, purple and black but im letting it heal now so its just my natural brown.
53. sport: im tryin to go jogging but so hard
55. vacation: ive been to spain a lot. also france, britain, turkey, belgium, germany, romania, irak and america and im going to greece in october. i would love to go on a roadtrip through east asia thats like my dream
56. pair of trainers: my basic addidas superstars which i love
more general:
57. eating: gonna get myself some cereal later
58. drinking: water
59. i’m about to: go get breakfast probably
61. waiting for: my motivation to go get food
62. want: my paycheck to come thru so i can stop being broke
63. get married: idk if i ever want to but i guess only time can tell
64. career: high schooler atm, i wanne be an engineer when i grow up
which is better
65. hugs or kisses: def kisses
66. lips or eyes: eyes
67. shorter or taller: taller is always a plus 😍
68. older or younger: i wouldnt really care but older is a bit nicer
70. nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms are my weakness u dont even know
71. sensitive or loud: loud bc im also way too loud when i talk 😂
72. hook up or relationship: atm hook up but i would really wanna be in a relationship when i have the time.
73. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker
have you ever:
74. kissed a stranger: nah
75. drank hard liquor: yup
76. lost glasses/contact lenses: all the time its so frustrating
77. turned someone down: yeah
78. sex on the first date: nope
79. broken someone’s heart: nah
80. had your heart broken: also nah
81. been arrested: nope but i came close one time which wasnt fun
82. cried when someone died: yea
83. fallen for a friend: not exactly ‘fallen’ but i did have a little crush
do you believe in:
84. yourself: not always but i try to
85. miracles: nope
86. love at first sight: i believe in being enamored at first sight?
87. santa claus: yea totally
88. kiss on the first date: yup
89. angels: of course i believe in my friends
other:
90. current best friend’s name: i have like 74 best friends so which one
91. eye color: plain brown
92. favourite movie: john wick, atomic blonde, maleficent and every barbie movie ever
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“SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER” TAG 📜
RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 a couple people [im too nyervous n bad at tagging :C]
i was tagged by @moonbebe , @monbeboo and @monbabi~ tysm ily guys w my whoooole heart ♡♡
THE LAST
Drink: water wow already off to a rly interesting start,, great job angie
Phone call: my mumma
Text message: “still full from the chicken, don't know if i want dindin” [asldkfjs i still talk to my mum like a four-year-old ok yep moving on]
Song i’ve listened to: from zero,, aka the bop of the century that probably wont ever be released ;; v ;;
Time you cried: i basically spent all of last weekend in the foetal position cos of the p101 final and shine forever
HAVE YOU
6. Dated someone twice: nope
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope
8. Been cheated on: nope
9. Lost someone special: yep
10. Been depressed: i guess
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope,, im?? an egg
12-14. List three favorite colours: green, yellow, cream
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU
15. Made new friends: yess, especially here !! i don't rly deserve any of them and i love n admire every single person thats talked to me. ty ty ty ♡
16. Fallen out of love: maybe, but idk if you could call whatever that was ‘love’
17. Laughed until you cried: we had karaoke at my school today,, i nearly choked from screaming n dancing to the pokemon theme song
18. Found out someone was talking about you: don't think so eep
19. Met someone who changed you: for sure
20. Found out who your friends are: i think so
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: uhh yes
GENERAL
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of ‘em
23. Do you have any pets: OK ASDLKFJA I LVOE MY BABIES; so u’ve got miffy my v bouncy dog n best pal, my two rly chirpy but rly sweet birbs toro and newbert, and my two goldfish who are,,, both named huat,,, because that means prosperity n i need that $$$
24. Do you want to change your name: hmm nope i like it, esp my full name even though i don't rly like it when people call me by it just cos it feels too formal
25. What did you do for your last birthday: probably ate a lot of mexican food and played the sims 4 for like 10hrs straight
26. What time do you wake up: 7am on school days n like 11pm on weekends
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: having a v mild panic attack about my history exam but also watching my babies sewoon/gwanghyun in their first vlive
28. Name something you can’t wait for: jung sewoon to debut jfc
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: maybe like an hour ago when i was washing the dishes
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: feeling more fulfilled and optimistic cos tbh ive got it really good compared to others n i hate when i forget that
31. What are you listening right now: why don't you know - chungha
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yep, a guy in my bio class that i barely know, he just asked for help w a question
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my academic incompetency
34. Most visited website: youtube or tumblr
35. Moles: none
36. Marks: two lil dots under my right eye, one on my upper lip n a whole bunch on my arms
38. Hair color: black
39. Long or short hair: long
40. Do you have a crush on someone: huygnown jks sorry
41. What do you like about yourself: my ??softness tbh
42. Piercings: nope
43. Bloodtype: idk but i really wanna find out !!! ;;
44. Nickname: angie is a nickname i guess, but a lot of my school friends call me angle
45. Relationship status: dating a pretty cool guy (who is not hw but its fine i still kinda like him asldfjsal that was a rly weird n kinda messed up joke im sorry)
46. Zodiac: cancer
47. Pronouns: she/her
48. Favorite TV Show: orange is the new black, brooklyn nine nine, rick and forty, and a whooole lot of japanese dramas
49. Tattoos: nope
50. Right or left hand: right
51. Surgery: none
52. Hair dyed in different color: not currently but i had green ombre for a while last year
53. Sport: not really my thing if yknow what i mean hah im as active as an actual pile of garbage
55. Vacation: ive only ever had an extensive stay in malaysia but its like a second home n i love it so much c:
56. Pair of trainers: uhhhh one ? yes ? idrk what this is asking ;v;
MORE GENERAL
57. Eating: i had kfc for dinner mmmm
58. Drinking: water
59. I’m about to: pass out im so tired
61. Waiting for: monsta x’s first win !1!!
62. Want: to hug wonho,,, idk i feel extra protective of him today
63. Get married: for sure
64. Career: nursing/midwifery
WHICH IS BETTER
65.Hugs or kisses: hugs !!! warm n friendly or romantic n gentle,, you can't go wrong !!
66. Lips or eyes: both are v good, especially as a combination when someone smiles,,, smiling is rly rly nice
67. Shorter or taller: taller
68. Older or younger: older for now
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: asdfhasl both again !! both are SO good !!! esp soft tummies w comfy arms in hugs !! ;; - ;;
71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
72. Hookup or relationship: relationship
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER
74.Kissed a stranger: nope
75. Drank hard liquor: nope
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no but thats honestly my worst nightmare,, id be completely vulnerable
77. Turned someone down: yeah but in like the 5th grade
78. Sex on the first date: nope
79. Broken someone’s heart: maybe ,,,
80. Had your heart broken: probably fractured, not quite entirely shattered
81. Been arrested: nope
82. Cried when someone died: yessir
83. Fallen for a friend: way too many fkscifn times
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
84. Yourself: uhh probably not
85. Miracles: sure
86. Love at first sight: eh not really
87. Santa Claus: i rly want to cos i love christmas so much :cc but no
88. Kiss on the first date: mmm probably not
89. Angels: have u seen the all-white shine forever stage outfits amirite
OTHER
90. Current best friend’s name: i have two bestest friends named annie and charlie
91. Eye color: dark brown
92. Favorite movie: WHY END WITH THE HARDEST QUESTION YOU COULD POSSIBLY ASK ME ??? ok um lets go w back to the future as one of many favourites
❀ tagging: @monbibi @peachminhyuk @cngkyns @chaesprincess @kukungie @bamethyst @omgxiaoch ! ❀ but feel free to ignore, this does take a really long time so i totally understand :)
#it took so long n im semi-conscious rn but this was fun ❀#n ty if you actually read any of this ;v; ily#about me
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Get To Know Me
Tagged by @elliox , thanks man this looks fun haha
Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag however many people you want
(I would put it in the read more but idk how sorry)
THE LAST:
1. Drink: a coke i think
2. Phone call: rescheduling a doctor appointment ha
3. Text message: @elliox talking about buying shorts
4. Song you listened to: stuck in the sound, lets go probly
5. Time you cried: when i found my kitty dead.. well i guess i might have teared up a bit when a close friend left for the summer too,,,
HAVE YOU:
6. Dated someone twice: haha man i cant even get someone once
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah
8. Been cheated on: guess not
9. Lost someone special: hasn’t everyone at some point
10. Been depressed: oohhhhh yeah
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: ooohhh buddy yes
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12-14: silver, black, that cool green
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: yeah! and i love em!
16. Fallen out of love: dont think so
17. Laughed until you cried: haha yea good times
18. Found out someone was talking about you: i mean yea but i don’t care, keep it comin
19. Met someone who changed you: honestly that happens everytime i get close to someone and i hate it but yes
20. Found out who your friends are: yeeeah sure did
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i guess that could count
GENERAL:
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i think almost all??? maybe a couple no
23. Do you have any pets: 1 dog, 6 chickens, and i guess 2 kinda 3 cats now
24. Do you want to change your name: i mean i love my name,, but ive loved the name Alex ever since i could remember so idk
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: A hotel, and a heartwarming chat with a friend in the bathtub till like 4 am haha
26. What time did you wake up: i slept in till like 12 today it was good
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: drawin p
28. Name something you can’t wait for: a new start tbh, like the place i was at was good but i cant wait to be completely independent and to move on from some things
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about a week ago
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i think ive grown from all the bad stuff so idk, but if i had to choose one id say all the times ive just gone with the flow and it blows up in my face
31. What are you listening to right now: nothing rn cause ive been listening to the same stuff all day haha
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: mmm dont think so
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me not being able to tell people how i actually feel !!!
34. Most visited Website: youtube probably cause music hah
LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME
35. Mole/s: yeahh, theres moles here
36. Mark/s: couple scars i got for really dumb reasons like burning myself while making cookies or falling off a treadmill hahah
37. Childhood dream: always wanted to be a mermaid , still love mermaids hah
38. Haircolor: brown rn, a little bit of bleached ends
39. Long or short hair: he short
40. Do you have a crush on someone: yea i guess a little one
41. What do you like about yourself: mmmm being able to make friends
42. Piercings: 5 on my ears and one nose ring
43. Bloodtype: ha i really should know this buuut
44. Nickname: smelly haha, oh and asshole alice i think is one
45. Relationship status: there was potential but she lives in Washington (im in Minnesota)
46. Zodiac: aquarius
47. Pronouns: really any i dont care, but i mostly use she/they
48. Favorite TV Show: x files is always good
49. Tattoos: im thinking of getting the solar system around my arm
50. Right or left hand: right
51. Surgery: dose a root canal count ?
52. Hair dyed a different color: used to be orange
53. Sport: used to be in gymnastics
55. Vacation: love Mexico
56. Pair of trainers: uhhhhh nope
MORE GENERAL:
57. Eating: nothing rn
58. Drinking: kinda want some water
59. I’m about to: go downstairs to get some water probly
61. Waiting for: idk to get tired so i can finally sleep i guess
62. Want: $$$! and cats! oh and friends(just in general)!!!
63. Get married: eh,,, if it happens its cool if it doesn’t oh well
64. Career: gonna try to be an animator, if that fails i guess ill run away and live in an abandoned water tower or something
WHICH IS BETTER
65. Hugs or kisses: probly hugs
66. Lips or eyes: i guess eyes,,, but when those lips are good thats 👌👌👌
67. Shorter or taller: no preference i guess
68. Older or younger: also no preference
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: abs are niceeee
71. Sensitive or loud: some of both ?
72. Hook up or relationship: relationship probably
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker cause i think im the hesitant one at times
HAVE YOU EVER:
74. Kissed a Stranger: nope
75. Drank hard liquor: yup
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: many times with the contacts, good thing theyr the daily ones
77. Turned someone down: a real long time ago but
78. Sex on the first date: not into that sorry
79. Broken someone’s heart: sure hope not
80. Had your heart broken: yeah, but its all good now
81. Been arrested: no but i keep having dreams of it and when i wake up i get it confused with reality haha
82. Cried when someone died: of corse
83. Fallen for a friend: ehh i dont think i knew what it was at the time but kindof ??? real lowkey tho real lowkey
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. Yourself: not too much lately haha
85. Miracles: i guess
86. Love at first sight: didnt for the longest time but then it happend to me soo
87. Santa Claus: haha no sorry
88. Kiss on the first date: that just seems kinda weird idk
OTHER:
90. Current best friend name: ive got a lot of friends and i dont like ranking them but some are @elliox, @nart-snart, @deez-lockz, @alieyawn, @echeveriia, @the-fourth-musketeer, @lcxiegrey, and @hackin-cactus
91. Eyecolor: hazel
92. Favorite movie: too hard to choose,, i usually just choose a miyazaki movie off the top of my head when i get asked this
I tag: hah well so many have already been tagged,,, but everyone i atted will be tagged i guess @
(if u dont wanna do it thats fine too!)
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tagged by @omuii tysm my dude!
Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people
LAST:
1. Drink: that h2o
2. Phone call: myself bc i lost my phone
3. Text message: to a groupchat- “wowie kazowie”
4. Song you listened to: there you are by pogo
5. Time you cried: last month sometime i think?¿
HAVE YOU:
6. Dated someone twice: noo
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: ya
8. Been cheated on: god i hope not but probably
9. Lost someone special: yeah
10. Been depressed: haha
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no but i’ve helped my friends out when they did
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12-14: pink, light yellow, white
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: yeah actually!!
16. Fallen out of love: unfortunately
17. Laughed until you cried: ohyhup
18. Found out someone was talking about you: no not this year yet
19. Met someone who changed you: not this year but i got closer to them this year
20. Found out who your friends are: ya definitely
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no
GENERAL:
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of em
23. Do you have any pets: none that i see regularly
24. Do you want to change your name: my mom has always wanted me to, i really do not know
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went to the inner harbour w my friends and had a wonderful time eating sushi and bitching about people by the water
26. What time did you wake up: around 7:45 this morning
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: going 2 bed
28. Name something you can’t wait for: near future- seeing my friends in colorado!! long term- happiness
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 40 minutes ago she gave me a burrito and vanished into the basement
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my inteligence/grades?
31. What are you listening right now: well slide by calvin harris is stuck in my head and my ceiling fan is making quite a racket but i am not currently listening to anything
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ya my cousin’s grandpa is named tom he calls me hellraiser not sure why
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my own bullshit and also my own anxiety and stress over nothing
34. Most visited website: google chrome says pokemon showdown, tumblr, my etsy store, r/skincareaddiction, my soundcloud, r/friendsbalt, & ebay
LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME
35. Mole/s: one on my shoulder, one on my butt and i have random freckly beauty marks all over me
36. Mark/s: the most prominent ones include the scar on my chin, the dot on my chin and the parallelogram of freckles on my right shoulder
37. Childhood dream: a professional ballerina! (lmao i wish)
38. Hair color: basically blakc
39. Long or short hair: used to be hella long but i cut it last september so it’s shoulder-length now
40. Do you have a crush on someone: not exactly a specific person, i just really want a s/o
41. What do you like about yourself: i have really nice eyelashes, and i think i’m pretty okay at dance
42. Piercings: i had 4, 2 in each earlobe, but the second one in my left ear got infected and i had to let it close up- planning on re-piercing once the scar tissue chills out a little tho
43. Blood type: B+
44. Nickname: most commonly used- lena, len
45. Relationship status: single and really pressed about it
46. Zodiac: that two faced bitch (gemini)
47. Pronouns: she/her
48. Favorite TV Show: gravity falls, M*A*S*H, chopped, ghost adventures, the haunted, assorted animes that i will not get into right this moment
49. Tattoos: none but i would get some if i wasn’t such a FUCKING PUSSY lmao
50. Right or left hand: i’m a lefty! w writing/eating/basic tasks at least. my throwing hand is right though
51. Surgery: i had a dental surgery once
52. Hair dyed in different color: it has been dip-dyed pink, and also pink/purple/blue/green it was very galaxy-ish
53. Sport: dance!!!!! and i played volleyball for like 5 years
55. Vacation: i’ve been all over but i really wanna go to canada/alaska or santorini, greece
56. Pair of trainers: i have a pair of those adidas superstars that everyone wears now but they’re cute and hella comfy so those are my mains but i recently got some white ones from h&m that are nice too
MORE GENERAL:
57. Eating: i just ate a burrito but ya
58. Drinking: nada
59. I’m about to: stay up later than intended but sleep, hopefully
61. Waiting for: my ebay order to come, my ipsy glam bag, my back to stop hurting, the colorado trip, my boss to call me back
62. Want: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and also to get into cornell (but it’s not gonna happen)
63. Get married: idk it seems scary as hell and i’m a baby so nah not on the horizon or in my mind at all
64. Career: anything in science- preferrably biochem or earth sciences?? idk i love sCIEncE
WHICH IS BETTER
65. Hugs or kisses: kiss kiss fall in love
66. Lips or eyes: eyes
67. Shorter or taller: uh taller but that’s difficult because i am kinda tall
68. Older or younger: older usually but it’s not really a factor it just sort of happens
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: im sure both are good either way
71. Sensitive or loud: idk probably loud since i’m also loud
72. Hook up or relationship: oh man relationship definitely hook-ups just make me sad and feel awful i learned that the hard way lmao kms
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: i’m a hesitant trouble-maker
HAVE YOU EVER:
74. Kissed a Stranger: not that i know of
75. Drank hard liquor: ohya
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i lose everything including contacts multiple times
77. Turned someone down: i mean not directly...?
78. Sex on the first date: nah
79. Broken someone’s heart: again, i hope not
80. Had your heart broken: i guess
81. Been arrested: noo
82. Cried when someone died: yhup
83. Fallen for a friend: its all i fucking do lol
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. Yourself: i wish i did
85. Miracles: to an extent i guess???
86. Love at first sight: not really
87. Santa Claus: i’m hindu
88. Kiss on the first date: idk i kiss everyone so it’s not like a super intimate thing for me u feel
OTHER:
90. Current best friend name: uhhh i love all my friends equally honestly i guess jc would be at the top since i’ve known her the longest and she puts up with me? but also maggie, mao, tricie, alex, kai, caroline, ben
91. Eye color: really dark brown
92. Favorite movie: i really don’t watch movies idk why but probably princess mononoke, the jungle book, or kung fu panda LMAO i’m uncultured as FUCK but oh yea throw in a bunch of bollywood movies too
NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE: i’m lazy so i’m not going to but feel free to do this and say i tagged u!!
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rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!
tagged by: @softggogh (thank u u angel)
LAST…
[1] drink: some russian virgin soda mojito thing.... it’s mojito soda basically
[2] phone call: mah madre
[3] text message: “I’m gonna cook an egg on the sidewalk tomorrow”
[4] song you listened to: “happy” by Marina and the Diamonds
[5] time you cried: i mean technically this morning from stubbing my toe but the *actual* time is prolly yesterday
HAVE YOU EVER…
[6] dated someone twice: hell no
[7] been cheated on: no
[8] kissed someone and regretted it: no
[9] lost someone special: noooo
[10] been depressed: honestly? idfk
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: haha yeah too many times
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:
[12] red
[13] gold
[14] purple (you may call me your highness)
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
[15] made new friends: yes
[16] fallen out of love: no
[17] laughed until you cried: def yeah
[18] found out someone was talking about you: noooo but now i am Le Paranoid(TM)
[19] met someone who changed you: yea and its been pretty fun so far
[20] found out who your true friends are: what does this even mean but yes i think?
[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no, i literally only use fb for the messenger thing and havent updated in months
GENERAL…
[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: one (1)
[23] do you have any pets: yes! a cat, two betta fish, and six mice that i’m caring for over the summer
[24] do you want to change your name: nah
[25] what did you do for your last birthday: went to sunsplash for the first time in my life. twas great!
[26] what time did you wake up: time isnt real (..12 pm)
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching nature documentaries
[28] name something you cannot wait for: to get my own apartment tbh. i want my freedom damnit
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: literally just now
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: not much. maybe more adventure?
[31] what are you listening to right now: astrology livestream!
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: nah
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: idk? flighty people, talking during movies, people hurting animals
[35] elementary: the happiest years of my life. (let me go back dammit)
[36] high school: no.
[37] college: (dont remind me of my upcoming torture)
[38] hair colour: dark brown. i have some light streaks from when i bleached my entire head, dyed it, and some of it washed off
[39] long or short hair: kinda long but its summer in california rn so im looking forward to chopping it all off (long hair= insulation= back/neck sweat :P)
[40] do you have a crush on someone: lmaaaoo nooooo
[41] what do you like about yourself?: im flawless, next question
[42] piercings: one on each ear, waiting for mine to heal so i can get them redone (they were crooked)
[43] blood type: ??????????? tomato soup
[44] nickname: louie bc louisa sounds so... full and weird and “adult”
[45] relationship status: single hmu to change that
[46] zodiac sign: leo :)
[47] pronouns: she/her but i really do not care
[48] fav tv show: ATLA, B99, there’s more but I cant remember them
[49] tattoos: id get one as soon as i can but im all fleshy and unscarred rn
[50] right or left handed: left
FIRST…
[51] surgery: actually, none
[52] piercing: ears
[53] best friend: first bestfriend was actually 2 girls from elementary. we really fuckin loved horses
[54] sport: soccer. loved it.
[55] vacation: to florida. it used to be a yearly thing to go there but now we’re lazy
[56] pair of trainers: flip flops fuk u
RIGHT NOW…
[57] eating: nothing
[58] drinking: nothing
[59] i’m about to: go shoppin
[60] listening to: astrology livestream
[61] waiting for: the day to end. its hot in cali :(
[62] want: idefk
[63] get married: its not really something i crave but i wouldnt mind it??
[64] career: animator
WHICH IS BETTER…
[65] hugs or kisses: hugs, unless you know how to french well
[66] lips or eyes: eyes
[67] shorter or taller: taller
[68] older or younger: a little older…
[69] romantic or spontaneous: why not both?
[70] nice arms or nice stomach: hmmm i dont really care either way
[71] sensitive or loud: once again, dont care
[72] hook up or relationship: give me a nice long-term relationship plz
[73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemakers: hot, hesitant: cute, i love em both
HAVE YOU EVER…
[74] kissed a stranger? well they aint a stranger anymore
[75] drank hard liquor? ya
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? my glasses are in the void honestly
[77] turned someone down: :( yeah
[78] sex on first date? its hot on paper but no thanks
[79] broken someone’s heart? nah. or at least no one ever told me
[80] had your own heart broken? too many times to count but im hopeful things get better my man
[81] been arrested? nah
[82] cried when someone died? in movies yes. not in real life
[83] fallen for a friend: ehhhh yeah but i also fallen out of it
DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
[84] yourself? AYE
[85] miracles? nah
[86] love at first sight? noooo
[87] santa claus? no
[88] kiss on the first date? perghaps
[89] angels? nah
OTHER…
[90] current best friend’s name: its a fucking fite b/w two people
[91] eye colour: deep dark brown
[92] favorite movie: alien
tagging @smolbeanlovemachine!!!!
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@Regrann from @_pandakai_ - Heyyy like I promised, I made a makeup tutorial / lens review for the first time hahaha It's going to be a little long. . 1- SLAP ON DEM LENSES. I got these lenses thanks to #uniqso they're just what i need for my next cosplay 👌You can get these or other lenses with a discount if you use the code "pandakai" ^^ Color: 100/10 because i searched so hard to find the most vibrant reds. Its always hard because some turn out to be darker than expected. These're actually named sharingan lenses in the cosplay lens section but I think they're suitable for many characters with vibrant red eyes. Which is why i love em. Size: 10/10 They're not huge on my eyes which makes it easier to use them for both female and male characters. This is why i choose cosplay lenses most of the time 😩💖 Comfort: 8/10 I plan on wearing these for a convention which kinda means I'll be using them all day. I'm glad they don't hurt my eyes even when I wear them for long but i do see a little blurry due to the mid-section. It happens to me a lot tho. . 2- MATTE EYE SHADOW. I like using a light brown tone on my crease to deepen it and to imitate the rings under my eyes aBOVE THEM. Just kidding, i cover my dark rings :'D . 3- COLLECT THE BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES. I wanted to do a red makeup so i chose the most vibrant red i had on my eyeshadow palette. If you don't have red eyeshadow, you can also use lipstick with a brush! This time, I did the same thing I had done with the brown eyeshadow and went over my crease and the corner of my eye with the red. . 3,5- hEHE. I almost always use red liner or red eyeshadow under my eye too. I love this step. The key point is extending it from the corner to the middle and not the inner part. The inner part is where you put a whiter matte eyeshadow or highlights. Or else you might get too much red under your eyes and it will make you look tired (or high 💩) . 4- STAB A BITCH with your eyeliner. Also i like putting some light brown matte eyeshadow to the part that connects my eyebrow to my nose bridge because it makes a nice contour. . 5- ADD GLITTER AND LASHES if you feel extra sassy Andddd you're done! Thank you for reading so far
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mazikeen/eve/michael fic in progress
title: Ponder on the Narrow House
fandom: Lucifer
characters: Mazikeen, Eve, Michael
blurb: In which Mazikeen isn't finished with Michael yet.
warnings: Spoilers for Season 5.
0
In 2019, Fodor’s had crowned LAX the worst airport on Planet Earth, comparing it – much to Mazikeen’s amusement – to Dante Alighieri’s Hell.
She couldn’t comment on the comparison’s accuracy; she’d never read Divina Comedia. Human poetry bored her.
Up against the real thing, however? Hell was quieter, cleaner, and smelt better than Los Angeles International, and it wasn’t even close.
Granted, Mazikeen was biased. Hell was her home and she liked it quite a lot. But surely even a human – even an angel – would sooner take a stint in one of Lucifer’s loops than spend more than thirty minutes in Terminal 3.
Yet there he was, leaning against the wall, watching the bustling crowd with a faint smile on his face, like a man in the park resting his eyes on the ducks. Perfectly content.
“Do you know,” he said as she approached him, “that around forty percent of all humans are scared of flying?”
She hadn’t been sure how this encounter would go and, being innately practical, had dressed accordingly. Black satin skirt, flattering and loose enough to both conceal several demon daggers (invisible to the full-body scanner she’d just sauntered through) and not impede her reaction time in a fight. Red silk wrap blouse, easily unwrapped to serve as a garrotte or tourniquet. Hair down, curled, dyed pitch black with bronze-gold streaks – possibly a tactical disadvantage if he grabbed it, but possibly a distraction. She knew he liked her hair.
When she was satisfied he wasn’t about to lunge for her throat, she took a gamble and moved in to lean against the wall alongside him, following his gaze. “Not surprising. Think of it from their perspective. They don’t have wings. Actually – huh. I guess that’s a perspective you can sympathise with now.”
He sneered. “You’re trying to bait me, Miss Mazikeen. That’s cute. But I’m not in the mood, dollface. This? This is me time. I’ve had a shitty few days and I came here specifically to soak up these idiot mortals’ fear and chill out. Get lost. Go play with my twin if you’re so starved for entertainment.”
Mazikeen stretched. “That’s the problem. He’s hanging out with the rest of your lousy family. Gabriel. Raziel. Jophiel. Now that he’s in charge, they’re all trying to crawl up his ass. It’s pathetic. And annoying.”
His jaw clenched and she knew exactly what he was thinking: ‘That should have been me.’
“Also,” she added, after a pause, “they don’t like me. Most of them have never met a demon. There’s no outright hostility but… they talk to me like I’m some gross exotic pet Lucifer found and adopted.”
“They’re afraid of you.”
“Bullshit.”
“Nope. I’m wrong about some things. Never about fear. They can tell how much you matter to him, how much he’d do for you and vis versa, and it scares them shitless. Chloe Decker they can understand – she was Dad’s gift, after all. You, though? Lucy was never supposed to love you. No one was.”
She fiddled with her earring; big, gold, shaped like a swallow with rubies dotting its tail feathers. A gift from Eve. “Whatever. Anyway, that’s why I’m here. With you. Instead of them. You’re the worst, most obnoxious, most cowardly creep ever. I mean it. Christ, do you suck. But you always talked to me like I was a person. Right from the beginning.”
Ugliness flared behind his eyes. “Seriously? Now you’re being nice? Lucifer sent his general to console me? Ha! That’s how pitiful he thinks I am?”
“Pfft – no. Lucifer doesn’t give a crap about you. I’m here because I wanna offer you a job, moron.”
“A… job.”
“Yep. Ever heard of ‘bounty-hunting’?”
He nodded. Slowly. Smirking, she pushed off the wall and twirled on her six-inch heels to face him.
“Here’s the thing, o Angel of Dread; I’ve spent centuries in Hell learning how to terrify people. I look at you and you know what I see? Potential. Sure, you’re rough around the edges. Still got some celestial baby fat clinging to you. Still a little squeamish when it comes to certain tricks of the trade. But Mikey, honey, six months under my tutelage and I think we can turn you into a bona fide fucking nightmare.”
She let the skin on her face’s left side melt away and grinned at him. “So? How about it?”
“Eh,” he said after taking one last glance around the terminal. “Fuck it. Why not? Nothing better to do.”
0
“Los Angeles is kinda like me,” Mazikeen told him, taking off her red-lensed cat-eye sunglasses as she strutted down the pier.
“Doesn’t have a soul?”
A withering glare. “Tough. Pretty on the outside, mean on the inside. It’s easy to make enemies around here and when you’ve made ‘em, you need to stay on your toes. Stay nimble. Stay mobile. Ready to fight or flee at any moment.”
Michael nodded. “And that’s how you justify living on a tugboat.”
“Ahoy!” called Eve, standing on the deck in a polka dot bikini and pirate hat Mazikeen had presumably stolen for her off the set of some summer blockbuster or other being shot nearby, the salty breeze playing with her hair.
“It’s a yacht,” Mazikeen growled.
“No. That’s a yacht,” Michael replied, pointing to the gleaming white MCY 70 Skylounge docked nearby. “What you have is a glorified raft that can, at best, accommodate two people and maybe a toaster.”
He should, perhaps, be trying harder to ingratiate himself with his new boss.
But he was tired.
Getting in his face, she snapped, “Hey! That’s our headquarters, asshole. Show some respect.”
“It’s covered in seagull crap. It looks older than me. There’s a very obvious bloodstain on the helm. Jesus, doesn’t Lucifer pay you?”
She pushed him into the sea.
Offering him a hand when he bobbed to the surface, Eve said, “Don’t take it personally. She’s just mad because we weren’t able to steal a bigger one.”
0
It was while Michael was towelling himself dry down below decks that the chunky-faced cop wandered in, took one look at him, and strode across the room.
“Mister Espinoza,” he drawled, “what can I-… oh. Oh, wow, you really thought that was going to work, huh?”
Curled up on the floor, clutching the fist he’d very mistakenly slammed into Michael’s jaw, Dan hissed, “Fuck you. You killed me.”
“Poppycock. I had you killed. That’s entirely different, buddy.”
Dan staggered to his feet and shouted, “Maze! Eve! What the hell is he doing here?”
Taking off his wet jacket and draping it over the rack alongside the towel, Michael said, “I was invited, thank you very much. No one told me you were part of the arrangement.”
“What arrangement, asshole?” Dan snapped, turning red. “I’m just here to help Maze fix her boat’s engine.”
“Oh. You don’t work with her, then? No, I suppose you wouldn’t. As we’ve established, you’re entirely too killable.”
“You sleazy son-of-a… Maze! Get down here!”
Grumbling, Michael’s new boss stalked below deck carrying a crate of beer on her left shoulder and a sleeping bag under her right arm. “Goddammit – Dan, I told you to wait. Is your hand bleeding, you big meathead? We seriously just dragged your ass out of Hell and you couldn’t go two whole days before breaking yourself again? Ugh. You’re impossible. You’re worse than Decker.”
“Maze, d’you wanna explain what the actual fuck Lucifer’s psycho twin is doing here?”
“Interning,” Michael said, cheerfully.
His face now practically purple, Dan half-yelled, “What is he talking about? This is not okay, Maze! Does Chloe know? Does Amenadiel? Why is he even still on Earth? Lucifer’s God now; can’t he stick him on Mars or turn him into a bug or something?”
“Look, Dan, just calm down-…” she began.
“I died! I actually, literally, physically died! Because of him! No, I’m not going to calm down!”
Michael scoffed. “Please. Like that’s what you’re really upset about. You’re not angry about dying. You’re not angry at all. You’re scared, buttercup. And not just of me; of her, of Lucifer, of everything, and to be honest, I didn’t even need to use the ol’ angel juice to work that out.”
Mazikeen set down her cargo, pulled a knife from her belt, and flung it. It embedded itself five inches deep in the floor between them. “This? This is not Lux, dickheads. Mortals and celestials don’t hang out here to have a good time while I sit behind the bar and tolerate them. This crummy, crusty-ass, piece of crap boat is my domain. Here, I don’t have to put up with one femtometre of your bullshit. If you want to fight, do it somewhere else. If you want to fuck, do it quick and clean up afterwards. If you want to make yourselves useful, help me get the weapons on board.”
“Wait – wait, weapons? What weapons?” said Dan to her retreating back. “You said you were going fishing. Maze! What weapons?”
0
“Where’s all your stuff?” Eve asked when she showed him to his tiny cabin.
“I’m an archangel. I don’t have ‘stuff’.”
(Michael had already decided he didn’t like her. She was bubbly.)
“Heh. You should travel with Lucy sometime. We went to Vancouver for a weekend and he brought seven bags, five watches, and six pairs of shoes. Okay, do you – uh, do you at least have a change of clothes? Because those look kinda soggy.”
To his annoyance – and embarrassment – she spend twenty minutes hunting down a shirt and pants that would fit him.
“They’re mine,” she said, dropping them into his lap. “But I bought them to sleep in and I like loose pyjamas, so they’re a dozen sizes too big on me. Oh! Also found you this.”
She presented a hot water bottle in the shape of a fat, cuddly sheep.
He accepted it carefully, wondering if it was booby-trapped. “You’re Lucifer’s ex, right?”
“Er… yep? Amongst other things. The Original Sinner. First Woman, First Wife, First Mother. Mother of Mankind. Second Human. First Knowledgeable Human. But sure, I was also your brother’s girlfriend for a while.”
“And now you’re Mazikeen’s. Do you also work with her?”
“Sure do!” she said, interpreting the question as an invitation to sit down next to him. “I’m The Choronzon’s captain. That’s our boat’s name. My idea. I know she’s not much to look at but she’s got so much history. There’ve been fourteen homicides on her! Plus, she’s fast; way, way faster than she looks. And I know the beds are hard, but we’ve got three hammocks stashed away and getting them set up is easy as pie.”
“Wow. Those suckers up in the Silver City don’t know what they’re missing.”
She nodded, blinking slowly. “Hmm. Maze was right. You are mean. That’s cool. I get on well with mean people. Anyway, just in case she hasn’t told you; we’ve got a job lined up and we’ll be setting sail tomorrow at dawn. You get seasick? Not a problem; we’ve got a medical kit full of antiemetics. On that note, should we pick up something for you before we leave shore?”
“No.”
“You sure? Just that – uh – I mean, my third son, Seth, the one nobody talks about – he also had pretty severe scoliosis. Wasn’t a whole lot we could do about it back then. But these days they’ve got tons of stuff; opiods and anti-inflammatories and memory foam. Science is so, so cool. And I’m going shopping for sunscreen anyway, so dropping by the pharmacy wouldn’t be a problem.”
For a moment, he reviewed a list of responses that would deeply, profoundly hurt her, responses that would ensure she didn’t approach him again.
But he was tired, tired, tired.
“Here.”
He took a folded piece of A4 paper from his pocket and handed it to her. “These are what the last human doctor I went to recommended. Getting hold of those three I’ve circled is tricky, but I know a guy. Call him on that number down there and he’ll meet you wherever. If he gives you any trouble, remind him that Michael knows about the vacuum cleaner. That’ll shut him up.”
As soon as she’d bounced out of the room, he shut the door, locked it, and laid down to sleep.
0
It was night when he awoke.
He went upstairs to find Mazikeen and Eve sitting on the deck, admiring what stars could be seen through Los Angeles’ perpetual light pollution and sharing a pizza.
“Mickey! Get over here,” called Mazikeen, clad in a black dressing down and slippers shaped like plump pink pigs.
“It’s freezing,” he complained.
She snickered and threw him the prickly blanket that had been resting over her knees. “Wimp. Eve told you about the job, yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know how to use any weapons?” Eve asked. “Maze sticks with her knives most of the time. I prefer my traps and crossbow. But we’ve got guns, if that’s more your speed.”
They were clearly expecting him to sit down. Eve had even scooted to the left to make room.
He opened the blanket up and wrapped it around his shoulders, remaining standing. “Can I ask a question? What, precisely, is my role here?”
“For now, you’re a meat shield,” said Mazikeen, talking through a mouthful of pepperoni and violently yellow cheese. “Me and Eve are both vulnerable to bullets. I mean – I’m less vulnerable, obviously. But I don’t hate any of my relatives enough to go about finding out exactly how many bullets it takes to snuff a demon. So your job, at least tomorrow, is just to soak up enemy fire until we’ve got our hands on the target.”
Scowling, he said, “Getting shot does hurt, you know.”
“Yeah,” she replied, eyes shining with spite. “Dan sure seemed to think so.”
When the tense silence had stretched for over thirty seconds, Eve clapped her hands, smiling anxiously, and said, “So! Anyone up for rummy?”
(to be continued)
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