#but it’s been in the back of my mind for 2 fucking years and I can’t let go of it I want it too much
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I wonder if you look both ways (When you cross my mind) pt. 3
a nice long update for ya ♡ part 1 part 2
cw: internalized homophobia and projecting internalized homophobia (from an oc)
🐝･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･✦ʚɞ
June 1996, Chicago
Steve's first steps into his living room are not met with silence and sunshine; in fact, he is met with two surprises.
The first being Eddie Munson still in his apartment.
Steve rubs the tired out of his eyes, squishing his palm into his lids in hopes of shaking out a morning delusion. He is proven unsuccessful..
His second surprise is that Eddie is awake, staring at Steve in high alert, blankets folded neatly (he must have scrounged around for them in the night, not that Steve minds), sitting patiently as if he has been waiting for hours for Steve's arrival.
If the second surprise hadn't happened, Steve might have excused the first. See, Eddie, in all the years he had known him, had been anything but an early riser, usually choosing to sleep the day away. So if he had been asleep still, Steve might have let him being in his apartment slide.
Steve ponders how he doesn't really know Eddie anymore, so he shouldn't actually be surprised.
Eddie clears his throat, "So, how about that talk?"
Steve has to resist shutting his eyes to relish in the sound of Eddie's deep timbre. His voice has grown scratchy over the years—from singing or cigarettes, Steve can't be sure. It feels like coming home, either way, to have his voice brush over him.
Instead, Steve clears his throat back. "Don't have time; maybe try again in another five years." He moves to the kitchen to start making their morning drinks—hot coffee with cream for Robin and an iced dirty chai for Steve.
When Dustin had been working at a cafe back when he was in college, he made Steve try all of their new drinks. Surprisingly his favorite became a dirty chai—something which Robin finds hilarious.
Steve grabs the chipped green mug from the cabinet and begins pouring Robin's coffee. It had already been hot and ready in the pot, which probably meant Eddie had prepped it for him. Steve doesn't comment.
Eddie huffs through his nose, "C'mon Stevi—Steve. It's ten in the morning on a Saturday. You can't tell me you're busy right now."
Steve has to resist slamming Robin's mug down on the counter, already having being put together after the 1994 incident, he doesn't want to face her wrath.
Gently placing it on the counter, Steve turns. "Actually, I have somewhere to be at twelve, not that you need to know that. And don't act like you know what's going on in my life, Munson."
Eddie smiles, a little laugh escapes him. God, it is like a fucking drug after years of being sober that laugh. Steve wants to beg him for another hit, even though he knows it's bad for him.
With the smile never leaving his face, Eddie raises his hands. "Okay, okay. You're right."
"Why are you smiling? This isn't funny." Steve huffs.
Eddie's face softens, "Sorry, just even though you're mad at me. You're talking to me, and shit, sweetheart. I would take that over silence any day. It's nice to hear your voice."
Steve has to force himself to keep his shoulders tense, wanting to sag into Eddie. He's still mad at him, furious even. But some part of him agrees deep down, this is nice.
He can never let Eddie know that.
"Fuck off, Munson. I have shit to do. I'm sure you're too busy anyway."
Eddie shakes his head, hair falling in front of his face. "No, trust me I have nothing else going on. The band is on hiatus. And even if we weren't, trust me when I say this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now."
Steve can't help the snort that comes out of him, "Funny you're asking me to trust you, asshole. That went out the door with your bags five years ago."
Eddie flinches back, "Okay, I deserve that one."
Steve doesn't mention to Eddie how he knows his band has been on hiatus for over a year now. How he's kept up on the band, even after Eddie left. How he is curious why they went on hiatus at all, they have two successful albums, and supposedly were working on their third, when suddenly they all decided it was time for a break.
Peak of their career, and they chose silence. Normally, a horrible career move, but it seems it makes the rock community want them even more.
Steve can understand that partially. When it comes to Eddie, you can't help but want more, even when he disappears without a trace.
"I got to go get ready. Seriously, Munson. I know you think I don't mean it when I say leave. I think you're stuck on the Steve from five years ago, and how the Steve from then wouldn't really mean it. But this is the Steve now. And Steve from now means it when he says, get the fuck out. Go find someone else who could actually use your presence, like Dustin. God knows the kid deserves a phone call."
Eddie opens his mouth to protest, but doesn't get to chance to say his peace, Steve's already on his way back to his bedroom with their drinks in hand.
🐝･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･✦ʚɞ
Steve is running late.
It's not his fault, he has a fucking ghost haunting his living room, and it takes him ten times longer to work around it. Robin tells him to cancel his lunch, but Steve doesn't, even though she's right.
Robin's always right.
Steve can't help but feel a little smug when thinking back to leaving his apartment, though. He looks good, wearing his nicest Levi's and soft white button-up. Steve had made sure to keep the top few buttons undone, showing off his gold necklaces that landed perfectly on his exposed chest hair.
For Drew, of course, not for Eddie.
Still, Steve knows he looks good. So when he leaves his apartment and Eddie doesn't even bother to try to talk to him again because he is just too busy staring at Steve.
Steve makes it to the restaurant only five minutes late. It would have been on time if it had been in his athletic prime.
Resturant, Steve realizes, is a bit of a stretch. It appears to be a cafe--but not one of those cozy ones with crazy colors and a fun name. No, this cafe is incredibly fancy. Everything is so sleek and high up, the name in an Italian word he'll have to asked Robin to translate later.
Steve looks around the cafe in a huff, realizing Drew is nowhere to be found. He is momentarily flooded with relief, knowing he has beaten Drew to the cafe.
Steve finds a table in a corner and waits. His brief relief is quickly swept away into annoyance as he sits there for minutes with no signs of Drew.
It takes another thirty minutes, before Drew is finally at the cafe.
"Sorry, I'm late, baby." He says breath even. Steve knows he was in no rush to be here on time. He doesn't move to kiss Steve, not on the cheek and certainly not on the mouth. Drew isn't one for PDA, or so he says. Instead, he smooths down his dark blue Armani suit and sits across from Steve.
"You know, you could give me a kiss. I haven't seen you in a week." Steve decides to move past his being late; there is no point in arguing. If it had been him, Steve is sure he would never hear the end of it.
"Sweetheart..." Drew whispers and brushes his hand against Steve's knee. Steve's lip twitches; he doesn't like it when Drew calls him that. "You know it isn't safe to do that."
Steve wants to throw Drew's hand off of him, but he doesn't. It's always like this between them, Steve wants more, and Drew pulls back. It's beginning to feel tiresome, this game between them. They have been dating for a year and have made no progress in public. Steve's lucky Robin gets to know, seeing as basically no one else in either of their lives knows about each other. For Steve, everyone knows of Drew but not his name. For Drew, Steve is almost sure no one even knows he's gay.
Steve wants to hit himself for the thought. It's unfair of him to put these expectations on Drew, everyone comes out at their own pace. He would be a hypocrite if he pushed him; it had taken him nineteen years to figure out he was bisexual. Took Eddie leaving for him to come out to anyone other than Robin.
It feels different somehow with Drew, though. Like this isn't him scared to come out, but more like Drew doesn't actually see a future with Steve. It had taken them six months to even label themselves as boyfriends, moving from late-night booty calls to watching a movie together in Steve's living room in the middle of a Tuesday.
Steve rubs his temples instead of smacking Drew's hand away. Steve feels tired of this cycle. He knows this is the best he's going to get when it comes to dating. With women, they often want him to admit that he was experimenting, wanting to shun parts of himself away. That or they are convinced he's gay. Well, he is, but it's more than that, and they don't seem to get it.
With men, it's the opposite problem. Either they need him to admit being bisexual is just something he used to make himself feel better, or they are only looking for a quick hookup.
Hookups are nice, but approaching thirty, Steve wants something real and is perhaps sick of finding out the man he brings home from the bar is married.
He knows this is the best he's going to get.
"Maybe if we met a cafe in my neighborhood, we could be a bit more affectionate. The one down the block has a rainbow flag and everything."
Drew scrunches his nose, "Why do that when we can get nice coffee like this?"
Steve doesn't point out that neither Drew nor himself has ordered coffee. Steve can't afford the coffee here, and Drew was late. "I think that's your way of saying where I live isn't nice."
Drew grabs his hand under the table, "No, babe, I don't want to fight today. I've missed you."
Steve feels bad; he has missed Drew. Despite their ups and downs (and Robin's grumbles), Steve does care for him. "You're right, I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it. Besides, I did want to have lunch for a reason." Drew smiles brightly. Steve can't help but stare for a minute. It's no surprise what hooked Steve the first moment they met at the club. He is a classic kind of handsome. Wavy brown hair cut to look proper, a shiny white smile, piercing blue eyes. Nothing about him is soft, he is full of sharpness that takes you from across the room.
He's the kind of guy Steve's parents would have loved if they were okay with Drew being a guy—if Steve was even talking to them at all.
"Oh yes, you've got me on the edge of my seat." Steve jokes.
Drew gives him a charming smile, "There's my funny guy."
Steve rolls his eyes.
"So I have a big question for you..."
Steve freezes up; oh no. Here it comes. The talk, the let's move into together speech. One he'll have to turn down. No one ever gets it. How he can't live without Robin. Literally and physically.
"....so Greg says there's an opening and I think you'd be a great fit."
Steve shakes himself out of his thoughts, "What?"
Drew levels him with a look. "A job? For you?"
Oh. "I already have a job."
It's Drew's turn to roll his eyes, "C'mon, Steve. A high school guidance counselor? You could do so much more."
"I like my job, Drew. We've been through this. Besides, you barely want to be seen together, and now you want to work together? I have no interest in working at a law firm."
Drew pinches his nose, "Just...just think about it, okay? I want to see more of you in any way I can."
Steve doesn't want to fight. The fight left him a long time ago. "Okay."
He doesn't mean it.
🐝･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･✦ʚɞ
aaah im loving where this is going, also I swear it gets better soon and this has a happy ending!! also thanks for the love and support. This will probably be the last part where I will take tag requests for the series so please ask now, cause its getting too long. But parts will always be updated on the previous posts and my page!!
tag list!:
@stevesbipanic @withacapitalp @emryyyyy09 @brainfugk @blueberrylemontea-fanfic
@slv-333 @thetinymm @connected-dots-st-reblogger @helpimstuckposting @dreamercec
@goodolefashionedloverboi @stripey82 @little2nerdy @anne-bennett-cosplayer @resident-gay-bitch
@ghostquer @sourw0lfs @devondespresso @yesdangerpls
@lingermirth
@adealwithher @antonymeanonyme @stevah-hawcett @samsoble @mugloversonly
@stripey82 @anaibis @mycatsstolemybiscuit @flustratedcas @alfhitchblonde
@s0ft-strawberries @slavicviking @theheadlessphilosopher
@l1lpip @emmabubbles @arepaconchocolate
@thesuninyaface @hallo-spaceb0y @dykelips @bookbinderbitch @valinwonderland
#guys really i swear there is a happy ending#ive gone full blown story now#yal hyped me up its your fault#also im so excited for the next part hehehe#steddie#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#my writing#platonic stobin#ficlet#angst#hurt comfort#i wonder if you look both ways (When you cross my mind)#ao3
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Can you do a part 2 of the bllk boys reacting to their gf doing ballet but with isagi, ness and nagi?
SUREEEE 🫶🫶🫶
CHARMED
bllk boy x fem! ballerina! reader part 2
established relationship
thank u anonnn💗💗💗
probs ooc
ISAGI YOICHI
Isagi was coming back to both yours and his apartment after a long day of practice. He was exhausted and just wanted a hot bath, and to cuddle up with you, he did text you that he'd be back home very soon. Oh, how he wished he was already in your arms. After another while of walking, Isagi was at your front door. He got his keys out and began opening the door. As soon as he did, he saw you standing in front of him ballet gear still on. For a minute, he froze up not knowing what to say. You've never told him about this????
"Sweetheart, you do ballet????" He asks as he walks up to you, closing the door behind him.
"Y-yes." You muttered quietly, nodding almost sheepishly, your cheeks becoming red out of embarrassment.
"Oh??? How long have you been doing it for???" Isagi asks, raising an eyebrow curiously.
"Four years, sorry for not telling you, Yoi." You say, still very embarrassed by him catching you in your ballet gear.
"Hmmm, it okay, baby!!! Plus, I can watch my pretty girlfriend do all those beautiful spins and twirls!!!" He says, smiling down at you.
"Yoichi, you don't even know if I'm good." You say, looking up at him as he kept on smiling at you.
"Huh, I don't need to???" He says, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in for a hug.
ALEXIS NESS
Ness was cleaning around the house while you were sleeping after a long day of studying and working. He wanted to help you out since you were usually the one cleaning most of the time while he was at practice. After ironing one of your dresses, he was about to hang it up in your wardrobe, but that's when he saw a pair of ballet shoes hidden behind some of your clothes.
Why were they there??? Maybe one of your friends left them here??? Do you not trust him to tell him that you do ballet??? Ness mind was racing with different scenarios, most of them just being him overthinking. Ness decided to forget about them and was about to put them back when you came in the room.
"A-ah, angel!!!" He said, his voice filled with uncertainty as he hid the ballet shoes behind him. "How was your sleep???"
"Good." You mumble groggily, stretching your arms. That's when you noticed the ballet shoes that Ness was hiding behind his back. Fuck.
"Baby, where did you find those ballet shoes????" You ask him, slightly surprised that he even found them.
"Uhm, they were in the wardrobe, darling." Ness replies. That's when you remember the last time Ness nearly caught you practing, so you chucked the shoes at the back of your wardrobe. "Do you not trust me enough to tell me that you do ballet???" Ness asks, his lips curling into a frown.
"Baby, no, I— I just know you're busy, I don't want you to waste time by watching me perform." You say, wrapping your arms around him to give him a hug.
Ness hugs you back, his frown turing into a smile from your warm embrace. "Darling, I want to see you perform, I want to see how pretty you'd look."
NAGI SEISHIRO
You and Nagi were cuddling together in bed. He was on his phone scrolling through Instagram while you were watching him look at reels and photos that had the humour of a 12 year old teenage boy. When a video of you performing competitively at a competition came, Nagi instantly knew it was you, but the way you moved had Nagi mesmerised, you moved so gracefully.
"Angel, you move beautifully." He murmurs, still staring at his phone. "Why didn't ya tell me???"
"Cause you'd probably find it a hassle to watch me perform, lazyhead." You sigh, rolling your eyes playfully.
"Well, not if you perform like that." The tall white head mumbles lazily, putting his phone down for once and began to look at you.
"Ah, so the lazy genius wouldn't mind going to watch me perform??? Wouldn't it be too much of a hassle for ya???" You ask, smirking slightly to yourself in amusement.
Nagi wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a cosy embrace. "When it comes to you, pretty I don't mind if anythings a hassle." Nagi mumbles as he began to smile slightly at you.
#post!!#bllk#blue lock#bllk x reader#bllk isagi#bllk ness#bllk nagi#isagi yoichi#alexis ness#nagi seishiro#isagi x reader#ness x reader#nagi x reader#isagi yoichi x reader#alexis ness x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#bllk fluff
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part 2
“Satoru? What color are your eyes?” Geto asks one day, when they’re sprawled on the couch together. Gojo’s head is pillowed on Geto’s chest, where the snakes happily nestle in Gojo’s fluffy hair.
“Hm, blue.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Geto is silent for a long moment.
“I bet they’re magnificent,” Geto says, then startles when Gojo lifts up slightly, one hand tugging underneath the blindfold. “Satoru, whatever you’re planning to do, stop it.”
“Darling, I’ll keep my eyes closed, I promise,” Gojo solemnly swears. He waits until Geto gives his consent before lifting the blindfold off, diligently keeping his eyes glued shut.
Geto observes the shape of his lover’s closed lids, how his eyes contribute to his facial structure, and the white color of his lashes.
“Pretty, right?”
Geto nods. “Hn.”
Geto still doesn’t trust himself without the trusty barrier of the blindfold.
Thus, he brings a hand up to cover Gojo’s closed eyes, and leans in for a kiss.
***
Gojo buys Geto a pair of his own special-grade glasses that block Geto’s entire field of vision, ensuring he can see perfectly fine while others will never make direct eye contact with him.
It’s certainly an adjustment for Geto because the glasses, shaped like visors, feel very restricting. His snakes hiss at the glasses because they don’t don’t like not being able to see Geto’s eyes.
But the glasses do give Geto more confidence in leaving the cottage to prevent him from freezing any innocent bypassers.
***
Once, when Geto is out on his own, he spots a couple kids wearing the same style uniform as Gojo often does. Jujutsu Tech!
Geto decides to watch over them.
Thank fucking god he did, because there’s no way in hell whoever the fuck is in charge just let these kids walk straight into a curse’s domain.
Before Yuji switches with Sukuna, Geto intercepts and annihilates the other special grade, even without the powers of his eyes. Once the job is done, Yuji jogs up to his side.
Yuji: “Hey, thank you so much-GAH?“
At the speed of light, Geto pulls Yuji out of the crumbling domain and disappears.
The first years are completely bamboozled by what happened!
(Yuji: “Gojo-sensei, that special curse showed up again today! Well it didn’t need to help because Kugisaki and Fushiguro and I had everything handled, but I could feel it watching. Isn’t that weird?”
Gojo: “Huh, that is strange indeed.”)
Afterward, Geto presents Sukuna’s finger to Gojo. Gojo realizes Geto was looking after his students, and falls even deeper in love with him.
***
Yuuta learned early on who Geto was because once Geto was watching over him but Rika was not having it! 😭
She was like “Who is this beetch?” and tries to off Geto, who flees and never looks back.
The snakes want to pick a fight with Rika so badly, but Geto has to shush them because he’s not sure even HE could take on this kid’s curse.
Also, Geto is technically supposed to be exorcized. That’s what Gojo told the higher-ups, that he had successfully defeated the infamous curse Geto Suguru.
Gojo has to do damage control, of course.
“You have Rika, and I have Suguru,” Gojo says with a shrug. “Simple as that.”
Beside him, Geto’s jaw drops open from the total lack of explanation by the fool that owns his heart. From behind his glasses, Geto pities the way the wheels furiously turn in Yuuta’s mind.
Rika pops out jus to growl at Geto.
Great. Good talk everyone.
Yuuta: “You’re telling me you’re in love with THE special grade, Geto Suguru, who’s been alive for centuries and has been constantly compared to the king of curses, SUKUNA??”
Gojo gives him a thumbs up while Geto smiles with sharp teeth.
***
Gojo Satoru is known as the strongest sorcerer alive, but that doesn’t stop Geto from being incredibly protective of him. While out on a date, Geto brings up the higher ups that clearly do not give a shit about overworking his beloved.
“Say the word and I’ll kill them.”
“I thought you didn't like killing?” Gojo asks with a cheeky smile. He takes a sip of his milkshake, then bumps his foot against Geto’s under the table.
“Satoru, I’m a curse and they are assholes. It’s the natural order of things,” Geto sniffs. His snakes hiss in agreement, very excited at the prospect of killing for Gojo.
Gojo extends his hand out, palm facing up. Geto slides his hand on top. Interlocking their fingers, Gojo conveys all the adoration he can through his uncovered eyes, hoping it penetrates through the special-grade glasses Geto wears.
“I love you too. My one and only.”
***
w/ @no-one-says-hi
#jjk#satosugu#geto suguru#gojo satoru#satosugu fluff#satosugu headcanon#satosugu fanfic#goge#cerdrabbles
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top 5 dihua moments
HELLO ohhh goddd if i really really really have to pick... I'LL TRY (in tears)
in chronological order of the episodes:
(1) “你这个人最大的弱点就是喜欢当英雄。一个剑客不该有弱点。” your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses. (ep 1)
i'm as in love with the entire donghai scene as much as the next person but this dialogue is particularly special to me. so it was the first one i pinned down for this list. no hesitation. :)
it's a cornerstone of dihua's relationship; the thesis of lxy/llh's and their joint narrative. it prompts the deconstruction of the staple wuxia ideas of 侠 xia and heroism - which is what i really love lhl for. and dfs being the one to deliver this incredibly crucial and significant line is 10/10. he knew lxy even better than lxy did. he is the bearer and catalyst of lhl's story, lxy/llh's story.
"your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses." so what does it even mean to be a hero. is it more important to be a hero than being human. and i will become human. i am human and always have been. and i have weaknesses - i cannot win against fate, i am dying. but what ever is even wrong with being weak? being human is to have weaknesses. so i guess it's no wonder for the narrative to come in a full circle with dfs coming in possession of a weakness and be trapped in it. no longer the killer of di fortress. he's just a human being.
and llh bringing this up again in ep 11 feels to me that he had been carrying these words with him over the past 10 years. bicha and the battle have transformed him physically. but i like to think that dfs's words had an important role to play in an even deeper level of change.
all it took was this one scene to sell to me that this would probably be the kind of narrative i love.
(2) reunion in the woods (ep 8)
it's just so fucking good like literally every dihua scene. who doesn't love a good post-divorce first meeting scene. there's just a lot to chew on. most of all, llh just had to keep reminding dfs how well he knew dfs. we know the moon has always been this bright, alright. AND they were threatening each other. very sexy of them.
(3) whatever the heck was going between them in cailianzhuang arc (ep 11)
truly nothing brings out old married couple + parents vibes better than an inquisitive boy accusing you two of being up to something secretive behind his back. both their guilty expressions. :3 also dfs being the first person huahua goes to when he doesn't want to be alone. huahua being exceptionally chatty around dfs and dfs has no problem entertaining him. :3 they're totally on the same wavelength without having to say anything to each other and this arc brings it out so well.
(4) 腊月二十七 donghai anniversary wedding night (ep 38)
this is the last one i came up for the list after fighting a whole war in my mind over which 5 of the 100000 beloved scenes to pick. hate being predictable but. you just HAVE to give it to it. how do you NOT pick this for a top 5. all the 10 million other top 5 dihua scenes just had to make space for the anniversary scene. :'(
if i had to be even more specific, i think the scene of them in bed most likely takes the cake for me. llh literally saved dfs's life and helped him to become the stronger person he has always wanted to be. and perhaps no other moment exhibits the complementary yin and yang nature of their powers/energies in a more illustrative and palpable way. undershirts in bed just hits different from being fully clothed and one person literally having to keep the other person alive by touch...and this time it's llh for dfs despite the whole time it's dfs who was dedicated to keep llh alive. they have no lack of scenes that exhibit how in sync they are intellectually, and this is peak physical intimacy and tenderness, added with a brush with death/mortality yeah...
(5) llh/lxy's farewell to dfs (ep 40)
playing cheat here by combining two different moments :) but they are essentially connected. llh/lxy had to leave. and since it really had to be that way, i'm glad dfs was on his mind until the very end. what more can one ask for. there is really nothing more dear and tender in the world to be thought of
-
tl;dr: /blows kisses to every dihua moment
#anon idk why u did this to me but i love you. and thank you for the ask <3 my head exploded from doing the curation exercise <3#i also have a couple of other specific scenes i wanted to call out but there's just no more room sighs#idk my answers are leaning mostly to the earlier arcs also bc those are the ones ive been rewatching most lately.#come back in 2 months maybe lmao. repeat until every dihua scene is listed lol#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#lhl#dihua#my posts#asks#anon
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The Pact - Part 2
Masterlist
Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x fem!Reader
Summary: It's always been you and your dad. A tough duo, tackling life's challenges together. Not even an outbreak can change that. It's you and your dad against the world, doing whatever it takes to survive. But one day, tragedy strikes. You get separated from your father on a supplies run. By now it's been months, and you're losing hope. That is, until a strange man appears, looking weirdly put together for someone who's years into an apocalypse. There's something off about him. The weirdest part though? He seems to know your father...
Word count: 2781 words
Warnings: Cursing, losing a loved one
Previously:
"My name is Elijah Mikaelson. Are you Y/N L/N?"
If anything, you should have shot him right then and there. It would have been the smart thing to do. But instincts and smart-things-to-do don't always go hand in hand. Instead of shooting him, you lowered your rifle as you stared at him in bewilderment.
"Now how the fuck do you know my name?"
If it had been anyone else, Elijah wouldn't have tolerated Y/N's behavior. Not this stand-off, and certainly not the language. But this was Y/N. Steve's daughter. He had made a promise, and Elijah was a man of his word. He owed it to Steve. And, by extension, to you. Even up until a couple of minutes ago, your paths had never crossed before.
Elijah sensed the fragility of the situation. This could go either way: your surprise would either lower your defense, or send you over the edge. He was hoping that it wouldn't be the latter. It would make things a lot more... complicated.
"Your father sent me. Steve." He watched his words sink in. The brief flicker of hope in your eyes, your bodily response of your heart skipping a beat and then beating even faster. The seconds it took for you digest his words and the struggle to find your own.
"I - how do I know you're not lying?" To anyone else, the wavering in your voice might have gone undetected. Elijah's supernatural hearing had no trouble picking it up though. He knew this was his win-or-lose moment.
"I'm going to reach into my pocket, if I may." You started to object - "Hey, hey!" - but before you could do anything, Elijah reached into his front pocket where he kept the picture neatly tucked behind his handkerchief. He deliberately made his movement a little too fast for you to react, but not too fast that you'd grow suspicious. He was here to win your trust, after all, not to scare you.
He held the picture up so you could see. He was still too far away from you for it to be recognizable at this distance though and he saw you trying to peek at it through the scope. A creased line appeared on your forehead when you were unsuccessful.
"Walk that up here. Real slow. No shenanigans, I dare you." You pointed the rifle at the ground between you two and then focused it back on him. Elijah nodded and slowly closed the three fourths of distance between you and him until you interrupted him again.
"Ah ah ah, enough. Put it down and then back it up, buddy. Right back over there."
Klaus would have had a field day if he saw how she was ordering him around, he thought. "A puppet, are you now, brother?" He could almost hear his younger brother mocking him in his mind. But it didn't matter. He had a duty to fulfil. Elijah walked backwards to where he'd exited the woods. Once he was at a certain distance, you left your position on the porch. You matched his speed while you kept the barrel steadily pointed at him. When you reached the photo on the ground, you squatted down without taking your eyes off of him.
'She's well-trained', Elijah thought to himself. He wondered how much of it had been Steve's training and how much of it you'd had to learn on your own out of necessity. How much had you had to endure on your own? The thought was upsetting to him.
He watched you carefully retreat to the porch and then unfold the picture. One glance, and a whole array of emotions played out on your face. A small sob escaped your throat and with it, any hostility you'd previously exuded.
"How... how do you have this?" Your eyes found his over the distance and Elijah could read the silent plea in them. You were begging him to have answers about your father, answers that you hadn't found so far. He saw the build up of hope and worry that had accumulated over the last months behind your eyes. And it broke his heart.
"May I?" He gestured at the cabin. He was reasonably certain that he'd earned enough of your trust to let him approach, and he was right.
You gave a single nod of approval before you slumped down in your rocking chair. You couldn't believe it. There, in your shaking hand, was the picture your father had always carried with him. It showed you and him when you were still little enough to be carried on his arms, the both of you cheesing at the camera, smiles glistening in your eyes. It was his favorite picture of the two of you and it was one of the few things he'd kept on him when you had to leave your home. As far as you knew, it was the only picture of the two of you that still existed. You know your district went up in flames just hours after you made it out. You and your dad had watched the flames from afar, holding on to each other.
The past months had been the longest you'd ever been without your dad. Seeing his face again on the picture felt like drowning and coming up for air at the same time. You knew you were supposed to be paying more attention to the stranger that was coming up to the porch, but you couldn't help it. Your eyes were glued to the photograph in your hand.
"Your father and I met a couple of months ago. We decided to travel together for a while, but he... we got separated." The man spoke quietly, but even so, his words barely registered with you, coming to you in muffled sounds like being pressed through cotton candy. Moments passed before their meaning sunk in and with it, your heart. Separated.
You had just begun to try and accept the idea that you'd never see your dad again. It was the most painful thing you'd ever had to deal with and trying to come to terms with it seemed even more impossible than the idea of your dad no longer being alive, but the more time had passed, the less plausible it seemed that he could still be out there. You didn't want to ask, you didn't want to know for sure, but you had to. If it meant you could see your dad again, you had to know. Even if the answer might kill you. To know for sure that he's gone. It took a deep breath to find the courage to ask what you had to ask.
Elijah had stopped in front of the porch, just a little off to the side of its steps. It was for both of your sake's; a gesture of respect for your personal space that he didn't want to intrude on as someone you didn't know, and as a favor for himself. He hadn't fed in some time. Not out of choice, but because of a lack of opportunities. Blood banks had long since gone out of business, and people were not as easy to come by anymore. It was also a matter of simple calculation: the rotten ones seemed to outnumber the living by a large amount. If he mindlessly gorged on whoever he came across, he'd be an active contributor to the dwindling numbers of living humans on this planet, thereby slowly cutting off his own food supply.
No, he'd had to resort to a 'vegetarian' lifestyle for quite some time now. His diet largely consisted of a variation of animals he came across, but even so, he did not feed on every feathery of furry creature that crossed his path. It was for the same reason he could not feed on just any human he came upon.
So, it had been a minute since he'd had a proper chance to fill his hunger. He hadn't meant to meet you on an empty stomach, but there was no changing that now. When he realized he was coming up on you, he'd paused and dipped fingertip under his nose, applying no more than a drop of perfume beneath each nostril. It wouldn't be noticeable to you, but a great help for him in keeping his hunger in check.
He watched you drink in the picture he'd carried with him for so long with a hunger that seemed to almost match his own. It didn't take long though for the sadness to reach your eyes. It snuffed out every spark that had lit up when you first laid eyes on the photograph. A few moments passed before you took a big breath.
"So he's still alive? When did you last see him? When did you get separated?"
'She's going to ask about me. Be evasive. Just gain her trust. That's the most important thing. Make sure she trusts you. She might never forgive me for hiding the truth from her, but it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that she'll be safe. Promise me that you'll keep her safe. Promise me!' Your fathers words rang in Elijah's ears as he contemplated how to answer you.
He could see the battle within you, it was visible in your eyes. Hope was almost winning, but the despair that had grown within you over the last months was trying to keep grounded, to shield you from the pain that a confirmation of death would ultimately bring.
Elijah was not a stranger to lying. Many of the battles him and his siblings had fought over the centuries had been won through deception and deceit. Despite that, he prided himself on being a man of his word. Over the long, long course of his life, he had perfected the art of 'omitting the truth', as he preferred to call it. Words were binding and constricting. There was so much more freedom in what wasn't said.
"I believe it has been a little over a month since I last spoke to your father." He waited, giving you a chance to process. You slowly nodded and softly ran your thumb over his face on the picture. When you looked back up at him, the look in your eyes asked him to continue. "We formed an... alliance, if you will. He was on his own, I was on my own. It seemed only sensible to travel together. I agreed to aide him in his search for you."
This much was true. He could only hope she would not repeat the one question he promised he wouldn't give an answer to. Not yet, anyway.
"Why?"
Elijah shifted on his feet. "Pardon me?"
"Why did you agree to help him? What do you get out of it?"
Omit the truth. It's not yet time.
"I know what it's like to try and find a lost family member."
That seemed to strike a cord with you. In what appeared to be a flash-wave of shame, your cheeks lit up as the blood rushed to your head. It became apparent to Elijah that you had jumped to the conclusion that he had lost someone in the same way you had. It wasn't an uneducated guess, grief over a lost one had become a common denominator.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize... I apologize." It left him feeling sickly. Unlike you, he had very little reason to believe that his siblings had suffered the same fate as Steve. To impose shame on you, when he was feeding you lies. Alas, in the grand scheme of things, he had done worse. And he was doing this for a greater cause after all.
"I gotta ask." You sat your dinner down in front of you: a can of cold beans, served with a side of stale crackers, both of which were way beyond their expiration date but still edible. In front of you, the man who'd introduced himself as Elijah was nibbling on some beans himself, his pack of crackers still untouched. You'd literally needed to talk him into eating. It was one of the many strange things about him. Who in their right mind turned their nose at food that was freely offered? You'd have thought he'd be grateful, considering he'd arrived without so much as a water bottle on him.
Come to think of it though, he didn't appear malnourished in the least. If anything, he looked a bit sickly in the face, but that could've just been the heat. He'd finally taken off his jacket when they sat down for dinner - how he could walk around in a suit in this weather was beyond you, never mind the questionable fashion choice in general - and it became very clear that Elijah had not missed a meal in quite some time. Moreover, he was not only well-fed, he was clearly well-trained too. It was hard to miss how his biceps stretched the fabric of his shirt tightly whenever he lifted the spoon to his mouth.
It was hard to miss, but you'd still looked twice. Quick glances, ones you hoped he wouldn't notice. You also hadn't failed to notice that his trained body came with a rather handsome face. Quite handsome, in fact. If you added the suit into the equation, it was almost ridiculous just how handsome he looked. Still, as much as the suit did for him, it also weirded you out.
"What's up with the fit?" You gestured at him from top to bottom with a raised eyebrow. It could have been just the way the candle-light danced over his face, but you thought you saw a small smile flutter across his lips.
"Old habits are hard to shake, I suppose."
"Huh. I guess." You mused over it for a moment. "Must be kinda hard to keep clean though, no?"
Elijah put his can of beans down and leaned back on his chair. There was a look in his eyes you simply couldn't put a name to - cold? Calculating? Yet you didn't feel threatened. On the opposite. You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as his gaze wandered from the top of your head down over your body to your feet. It was as if he was seizing you up, but it was more than that - judging you? You tried to keep as clean as possible, but hey, tap water was a luxury you could no longer count on, much less a shower head. Still, you did fairly well. Compared to him, however, looking like a damn model in his pristine clothes - it was like day and night.
His gaze wandered back up and met you at eye-level. You tried to meet his eyes with defiance. However he had achieved to look the way he did, clearly, you hadn't been granted the same miracle.
'Bite me,' your face was saying, your attitude a lot cooler than the heat that was burning in your cheeks. Still, you couldn't shake the feeling like there was more that you were just not catching up to yet.
"I try my best," Elijah finally replied, a small smile playing around his lips. He held your gaze for just a moment longer before he redirected it to the tin can hin his hands. As his eyes went down, so did the tension you had felt from his ever-lasting gaze.
A couple of hours later, you were sprawled out on your makeshift cot, tossing and turning. Although the sun had set hours ago, there hadn't been a significant drop in temperatures. It wasn't just the unbearable heat that was keeping you up though. You'd decided to trust Elijah - more out of necessity than choice - but he was still, by all means, a stranger, capable of anything, as far as you knew.
You had insisted on keeping watch for the first few hours. Strange as he was, appearance-wise and unpreparedness in terms of supplies or weapons, he was still your only lead in months in finding your father. Whether he was just reckless enough to wander through this version of the world unprepared, you didn't know, but you would make sure to do your part in keeping your only lead alive and well. And that meant sleep. For him, not for you. Until he rose just two hours after you'd ushered him to bed and insisted he'd take over watch.
So here you were, plagued by the heat and the uncertainty of the stranger keeping watch outside of the hut. 'If he wanted to kill me, he'd have already tried,' a voice in your head insisted. It was hard to argue with, but still. And there was another thing on your mind too. You kept going over it in your head until it suddenly dawned on you.
He hadn't been judging you for your poor hygiene. He had been checking you out.
You couldn't help but snort about the ridiculousness of it all. What a strange day you'd had.
#elijah mikaelson#elijah mikaelson imagine#elijah mikaelson x reader#elijah mikaelson fic#the originals fic#the originals imagine#the originals#the walking dead#the walking dead fic#the walking dead imagine#elijah mikaelson x you
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why (in my mind) down bad is Remus Lupin's song
[Verse 1]
Did you really beam me up
In a cloud of sparkling dust
i like to think that this part is when like (based on atyd) when Dumbledore comes and enrolls remus at hogwarts, and takes him to this place that is so new and sparkling to him.
Just to do experiments on?
Tell me I was the chosen one
so this is also about Dumbledore. i mean if you've been in the fandom long enough we know that Dumbledore isn't exactly a great person like he's deemed to be. i like how this line includes "chosen one" bc harry (obviously). it just goes to show how Dumbledore has done the same bads things for two generations of people.
Showed me that this world is bigger than us
Then sent me back where I came from
going back to atyd (i haven't finished atyd and not everything i say here is gonna be about it btw), remus being exposed to hogwarts and being (somewhat) happy i what i connect this line to. he came from a place of loneliness, to hogwarts, and then the war, and back to not having anyone around.
[Pre-Chorus]
For a moment, I knew cosmic love
hogwarts. the marauders. sirius. yeah.
[Chorus]
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym
lol fuck my man probably doesn't go the gym but it does make sense for him to cry at the most random places yk? he's lost the people he loves
Everything comes out teenage petulance
i feel like a lot of people would definitely become petty and like "ugh whatever" kinda attitude. after losing so many people, i mean, is there even a point to even think rationally? it might not be correct, but does it matter?
"Fuck it if I can't have him"
"I might just die, it would make no difference"
remus has felt this way throughout so much, i mean, should we be supreised? cause i think not. i feel like the "him" is sirius, cause he did have him back but then he DIED, so remus is just like "wtf wtf wtf why cant i just HAVE HIM you gave him to me BACK! ykw, i might just die it would make no difference"
Down bad, wakin' up in blood
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
I'm sorry but he is a werewolf sadly. he wakes up in blood. ALONE THO. it makes sense for him to stare at the sky (maybe looking it the sirius start mayhaps?) and being like "PICK ME UP PLEASE"
Fuck it if I can't have us
I might just not get up, I might stay
[Post-Chorus]
Down bad
Fuck it if I can't have him
Down bad
Fuck it if I can't have him
i (don't like) to think how he would just be on the floor after his transformation, down bad on the floor, "fuck it if i cant have him here next to me, helping me" "i could just stay here, there's no point in getting up"
[Verse 2]
Did you take all my old clothes
Just to leave me here, naked and alone
i mean, sirius stealing moonys sweaters and clothes is one of my favorite things, but in this context, he dint only steal that. he stole everything. his clothes, his sense of belonging, his whole fucking soul basically. and then he left him forever.
In a field in my same old town
That somehow seems so hollow now?
i mean this town can literally mean HIS TOWN or maybe even hogwarts? imagine how bad it must have been for him when he went to hogwarts as a teacher, the hallowness in his heart there without everybody he's known and loved for years.
They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about
The existence of you
um well sirius is in azkabhan. yeah.
[Pre-Chorus]
For a moment, I was heavenstruck
he was heavenstruck, sirius was moonystruck
[Chorus]
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym)
Everything comes out teenage petulance
"Fuck it if I can't have him" (Fuck it if I can't have him)
"I might just die, it would make no difference"
Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood)
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it if I can't have us
I might just not get up, I might stay
[Post-Chorus]
Down bad (Like I lost my twin)
i like how this one says "like i lost my twin" cause i feel like wolfstar are soulmates argue to the fucking wall. in my mind they're not opposite but not exactly the same. kinda like two sides on the same coin yk?
Fuck it if I can't have him (Down bad)
Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)
Fuck it if I can't have him
[Bridge]
I loved your hostile takeovers
Encounters closer and closer
after sirius escaping, maybe they did try to get back together? their encounters, where sirus gets "closer and closer". slowly but surely.
All your indecent exposures
How dare you say that it's—
their "indecent exposures" being at hogwarts. the love and affection. maybe sometimes being indecently exposed (sorry james [not sorry] peter)
I'll build you a fort on some planet
Where they can all understand it
remus would. he would whisk them both away to somewhere where no one can find them both.
How dare you think it's romantic
Leaving me safe and stranded
now, back to the petulance. obviously he knows this isn't sirus's fault, but sometimes pettiness takes over.
'Cause fuck it, I was in love
So fuck you if I can't have us
'Cause fuck it, I was in love
let him be. my man was in love with sirius black. his soulmate. he can be upset.
[Chorus]
Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym)
Everything comes out teenage petulance
"Fuck it if I can't have him" (Can't have him)
"I might just die, it would make no difference"
Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood)
Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it if I can't have us
I might just not get up, I might stay
[Post-Chorus]
Down bad (Like I lost my twin)
Fuck it if I can't have him (I'm down bad)
Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)
Fuck it if I can't have him
[Outro]
Like I lost my twin
Fuck it if I can't have him
Down bad (Wavin' at the ship)
Fuck it if I can't have him
and yeah. that why this song is so remus coded.
#soup talks about marauders era peeps#taylor swift#marauders#ttpd#the tortured poets department#remus lupin#ts ttpd#sirius black#down bad#remus x sirius#remus loves sirius#the marauders#marauders era#james potter
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Armistice at the library.
Info: Human AU, Satan's Mc, GN!Mc.
Summary: You have been annoying Satan long enough to get a date.
A/N: We do a little jump in the timeline here, we will keep jumping back and forth depending on what story I want to tell.
Monday was Satan's least favorite day. He had to sift through all of the books left in the return box during the weekend and make sure they didn't get damaged. They then had to be returned to their place on the shelf. Still, the smell of books and the soft silence made up for it. From up high on the ladder, he could see the morning sun slowly rising over the shelves and tables. It was such a beautiful view; it calmed him down.
Suddenly he got dragged, his ladder moving a full meter to the right out of his control. He held on to the railing for dear life. A less than dignified screech left his throat.
"Good morning, loser," you said, letting go of the ladder.
"Mc, for fucks sake." He cursed you, coming down as fast as his trembling feet let him.
You laughed and sat down on your table, putting your books down and your feet up. Out of all of the regulars, you were the only one who would show up at 7 a.m. every single Monday. He wasn't a fan.
"I could have fallen!" He pushed your feet off the table and looked down at you, breathing heavily. You loved how worked up he got.
"I would have caught you," you said, grabbing his hand on yours. "I will always catch you," you said, looking up at him with your best dreamy eyes and soft, loving smile.
His whole face turns a lovely shade of red. His hand rips apart from yours, and he turns around, leaving for the counter with a huff. You watch him leave, waiting until he is sitting at his computer to start your own work.
Ever since you returned to town, you have been going to the library every day to work. Partly because it was much nicer than the teacher's lounge, and it was right in front of the school. Party because you loved annoying the sexy librarian. You actually knew him from high school before you moved out. He was a hothead, you remembered. It was kind of funny to see him put up such a serious facade.
The next few hours are spent grading papers and writing assignments. Every so often, Satan lifted his eyes from the desk and stole a look at you. Every single time, you winked at him. The last time he sighed so deeply, you could almost see the air leaving his lungs. You took the opportunity to walk up to him.
"Hey, handsome, mind scanning a book for me?" You ask, leaning down on the counter. You put down your copy of Lord of the Flies in front of you. "I need 20 copies of the first 2 chapters.
"You don't have scanners and printers at school?" He asks, turning the page in his own book.
"No, we're poor," you lied.
"Then I wonder why you're the only teacher who comes here to work." He lifted his eyes just to glare at you.
"Truly a mystery." You pushed the book closer to him. He took it and inspected it.
"You're having twelve-year-olds read Lord of the Flies?" He asks, looking at you weird.
"Why not? They can relate to the protagonists."
In reality, your first class of the day started at noon, and you had prepared no reading material at all. You had picked up the first book you saw in your bag.
"Let me check; I might already have a digital copy." He started typing on his computer.
"So reliable; I love that in a man."
"Well, at least this way, your students don't need to read your 'notes'," he said, making air quotes with his fingers. Behind him, the printer started working.
"What's wrong with my notes?" Your voice came out an octave higher than you expected.
"Let's see," he said, opening the book up. "We have 'Oh no oh no oh no'," he pauses to look at you for a second. "Just a bunch of 'damn', 'damn', 'damn', 'these kids are fucked up' and then 'poor piggy' sad face."
You felt the heat rising in your own face as you took the book from his hands. "In my defense, those kids were fucked up."
He laughed at you. It made you wish the printer would work faster. You didn't like being on this side of the power dynamic.
"I should charge your school for all these copies," he said, stapling the copies together as they came out of the printer.
You snorted. "Good luck with that. They're already paying me with hopes and dreams."
He smiled, a non-malicious smile for the first time. "On that, we can relate at last."
"The woes of government employment."
You stacked the copies as he handed them to you, and when they were all ready, you pushed them into your briefcase.
"Thank you, good sir." You offered him your hand for a shake, and he reluctantly took it. You pulled a fast one and bowed down to kiss it. Heat returned to his face, and the universe regained its balance.
"You've got to stop teasing me," he sneakered, taking away his hand.
"Okay," you nodded. "Let's go on a date."
He put a hand on his forehead, as if you were giving him a headache. "I said stop."
"Stop teasing. That's what I'm doing; I'm being direct," you explained, leaning closer to him. "Let's get coffee."
He looked at you for a few seconds, scanning your face for any hints of foolery. For once, you were being completely serious. He sighed.
"I'm free on Saturday," he said, looking at his drawers for something. After some shuffling, he took out a small magnet shaped like the head of a cat and handed it to you. "That's my favorite place."
"Café gatitos and cream," you read off the magnet. It took all of your strength not to laugh at how childish it looked. Instead, you nodded. "See you there at nine?"
He nodded back, avoiding your eyes. Without another word, he went back to work. You resolved to do the same.
Walking back to the school, you fidgeted with the magnet in your hand. You really couldn't wait.
Thank you for reading ❤️
#dividers by @cafekitsune#OB!HumanAU#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me!#obey me nightbringer#om! shall we date#obey me fanfic#obey me headcanons#obey me x reader#obey me satan#shall we date satan#satan om#satan obey me#satan x reader#satan x mc#satan x you#obey me satan x mc#obey me satan x reader#reader insert#obey me x gender neutral reader#obey me gender neutral mc
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fuck it if i can’t have him
Pairing: Sami/Jey
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 1,514
how dare you think it's romantic leaving me safe and stranded? Cause fuck it I was in love...
Part 2 in a series I'm calling "i love you (it's ruining my life)"
Read part 1 here or this part can stand alone!
AO3 Link
Set between Elimination Chamber 2023 and Wrestlemania 2023
tag squad: @jeysbvck @harmshake @southerngirl41 @imabillyami @elementaldoughnut12 and @feelschicken
this fic is still running with inspo from @motherknuckers much appreciated!!
---
The sound of weights hitting the floor echos in the empty hotel gym and Jey pants with exertion, sweat dripping down his face.
It’s late, way later than he should be awake- they have a flight early tomorrow morning and his brothers won��t be kind in waking him up in a few hours. But he just couldn’t fall asleep, finally giving up and heading down to the gym. It’s technically not supposed to be open this late, but Paul has a way of working these requests into their hotel reservations, just in case.
The last few weeks have been tense after his disappearing act after the Royal Rumble. He was welcomed back after proving his loyalty by kicking Sami, but things haven’t been the same. Maybe the problem is him, the discomfort he feels within himself projected onto his cousin and brothers, but the vibes have been different.
When he thinks about everything that’s happened since the beginning of the year, looking at everything that’s gone wrong and how it all fell apart.
How close he and Sami had been to… something. Something that scared and excited him in equal measure.
He’d made his choices, sure. That superkick at the end of Raw was as clear a message as he could send. How could he have done anything else? Roman was going to take it out on Jimmy if he didn’t come back, hell he could have taken it out on Solo if he wanted to. The thought of his brothers suffering on his behalf is unbearable to him.
But at the same time, losing Sami has hurt more than he cares to acknowledge most days. He feels like he’s lost a limb, on unequal footing as he goes about his days. It’s too quiet without his constant presence, there are times he sees something funny on his phone and turns to show Sami but he’s just not there.
It reminds him of how he felt as a child when he and Jimmy were separated, the bone deep wrong that they had to learn to get over as they got older and had separate lives.
Jey wipes away the sweat from his face and tries to breathe, slow and steady like he’s been practicing.
It’s not fair. Nothing about his life has been fair since Roman established dominance in his life, you’d think he’d be used to it by now. But something about this last indignity, he just can’t seem to get over it.
Why couldn’t Roman just accept Sami into the fold? Hadn’t he proved himself over and over again over months, he’d beat Kevin for them at Wargames for them, that had been enough for him. Why did Roman have to push it to such extremes?
Sami choosing Kevin over him, over the family, over Roman. It hurt like hell, but Jey could understand that there wasn’t another choice for Sami to make. Sami wouldn’t be Sami if he had chosen to batter a tied up Kevin Owens. That innate goodness that permeated his soul, the light that made him put up with months of abuse from Jey, keeping the faith on whatever it was he saw in him.
Jey’s not sure what that even was anymore. He had no problem beating up Kevin Owens or anyone else Roman pointed at, whether they deserved it or not. Anything resembling a sense of justice had been beaten out of him by the Tribal Chief ages ago.
He couldn’t do it to Sami. Not at the Rumble. Not at Elimination Chamber. Not until it was clear that Roman would force him to make an impossible choice between his brother and Sami. The man he…
He picks up a barbell, starts a set of reps to keep his mind from the obvious ending of that sentence. The feelings that just rub salt into his wounds, adding insult to injury.
Not that it matters now. Even if Sami had thought of him like that, it hadn’t been enough for him to choose to stay, even if Jey had been brave and selfish enough to ask that of him, if there had even been a chance. Roman took that away from them both.
He finishes a set, and the song playing in his earbuds ends, starting another track thats both familiar and new. Jey fishes his phone out of his pocket and checks the screen, confirming his suspicion.
It’s a new song by an artist he and Sami had bonded over, they’d talked about it when it had been teased on twitter, excited about it. He’d completely forgotten in all the turmoil. It feels like a knife in the heart now.
However, he doesn’t stop himself from hitting share and copying the link into a new message to Sami and hitting send before he can even think about it.
It’s late as hell, no way Sami’s going to see that message until the morning. And what’s he supposed to say now? After the way he attacked Sami the last time they saw each other, he can’t exactly just act like nothing happened.
He stares at the screen, hovering his thumbs over the empty message field. Can’t say nothing either. Fuck.
thought you’d wanna see it- sent 2:30am
Somehow that sounds worse. Desperate. Clingy.
Jey swaps back to his spotify feed and changes the song before shoving his phone back in his pocket.
Maybe it’d be better if he never met Sami at all. Or at least if Sami had never attempted to join his family. He’d known Sami for a long time now that he thinks about it, he’d been around backstage for years, and they’d done spots together over the years here and there. Truthfully he hadn’t payed him much mind for most of that time.
It wasn’t until he approached Roman that it all started. The disgust he felt watching someone beg for the opportunity he’d been beaten into. Sure he could see the appeal of trying to get into the most decorated faction in WWE, but could it really be worth it? Even with the belts on his shoulders he wasn’t sure.
At least before then Jey didn’t have this foolish hope, didn’t know how it felt to be safe and secure with his family and have someone to commiserate with, some of that burden off of his shoulders. They’d been so damn happy. Or at least he had been. Maybe Sami had deceived him. Maybe-
The burn in his forearm alerts him that he’s pushed himself too far, setting down the weight and groaning.
Between the aching twinge in his arm and the far deeper ache in his chest, he finds his eyes stinging with tears.
“Fuck- FUCK!” He screams, the sound echoing around him.
How is this the right answer? Feeling miserable, unable to sleep, down bad and crying at the gym over Sami fucking Zayn.
He lays back on the weight bench, stares up at the ceiling and just lets all the shit he’s been pushing down wash over him. Tears flow freely down the sides of his face, anger at Roman, jealousy over Sami picking Kevin fucking Owens, disappointment in himself at letting it get this bad, that bitter feeling wishing he could change the course of the last 3 months so he could just be happy with Sami again.
Fuck.
Fuck it, he was in love with him. He was in love with that ginger idiot. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it now.
He sighs out his breath, letting his eyes close for just a moment. Something about admitting it to himself releases the ball of tension in his chest, and the late hour begins catching up with him, his eyes growing heavy.
He presses his thumbs against his eyes, rubbing them and wiping the lingering tears away.
Jey wipes down the bench efficiently, tossing his stuff back in his gym bag before heading out and back up to his room. He’s in a room by himself tonight, which Paul tried to sell to them as a treat but it feels more like a punishment.
The door shuts behind him, disturbing the quiet of the early morning. He thinks about getting a shower, but honestly he’s too tired for that. He’ll take care of it in the morning before the flight.
He rolls into bed, phone in hand, and against his better judgement opens his messages again. There’s no reply, unsurprisingly, but then he sees it.
A tiny “Seen 2:34am" underneath the bubble.
Sami’s…. awake? Or was anyway. The top of his phone reads just after 3 am now.
Maybe…. just maybe…
Jey worries his bottom lip between his teeth as he feverishly types a message, giving it one quick look over before hitting send. After all, what more does he have to lose?
He lets the phone drop against his chest, trying not to get his hopes up and getting comfortable in the bed.
His eyes shut for the briefest of moments, and he feels his phone vibrate in his hands.
----
Couldn't get this out of my head- wanted to leave the ending pretty ambiguous and kayfabe compliant. Got all this angst out of me, here's hoping I get back to fluffier WIPs lol
Hope you enjoyed!!
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pspspsps porretta besties from the dark place who refused to bring this song to its end here's a little something for you. 🎙️
#it'll take a while until I finish the extended mix but of course I had to start from this part#you can tell the man have been practicing - Dynamite was amazing and so fun but sounded like he didn't sing for a while#and out of sudden had to film his performance in a rush because it was pretty chaotic back then - or maybe just wasn't for his range#now it's clear that he had time to work on his singing voice and feel more comfortable with the songs#plus it sounds like he had fun recording them - at least I hope so since everyone seemed genuinely happy to be back after 13 years#and istfg I can hear him singing the final chorus as well (liiiiight / niiiight / to the suuurfaaace) but I couldn't find the files#but I didn't find Door and OGOA vocals for it either so it's all probably mixed in a single file which is the one we heard in the cutscene#love him love his voice and I'm happy to have experienced this level (the entire game actually) blind#his performance was spectacular (the drowning video is still in my mind since my first playthrough but hey that's for another post)#anyway#someone give this man a Pixar villain to VO PLEASE#and that fucking bass btw I love it#Matthew Porretta#Old Gods of Asgard#Herald of Darkness#Alan Wake 2#Remedy Entertainment#🎮#tinyclowntent#audio
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someone tell me how it’s been 2 years since blueming was released
and im still waiting for that season 2
#I swear to god we were promised a season 2#like at this point im second guessing whether I just imagined it#but it’s been in the back of my mind for 2 fucking years and I can’t let go of it I want it too much#or at least something like… there has to be someone#im looking at you hwang da seul what are you doing and where is my next favourite bl#blueming
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#the past week i've been waking up early and feeling wide awake O.O#then i scroll on my phone for 2-3hrs then i get tired and fall asleep again#it's super annoying bc it messes w my sleep schedule#and like... i missed class today bc i did this!!!!!! wth....#my sleep hasnt worked normally since like november 2022 tho#it's been roughhhhh but it just wont get better again#i wake up every 3hrs nd then go back to sleep nd i do this for maybe 9hrs sometimes 12 🥴#and i get up at like 12-13 nd thats not good when i have classes at 9 nd 10 lol#i dont know it's just super frustrating! i've been struggling w my sleep for over a year nd it just wont get better#nd like i just wanna sleep thanks!!!!#(ofc since i have health anxiety my mind starts spiraling abt how sleep's essential nd it's while sleeping your body regenerates nd heals#nd since i dont sleep well my body isnt healing as well!!!! so then im fucked right?!?!? then my lack of sleep is making me sicker right?!)
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im punching and punching and punching my anxiety today
#[static]#man i need a new job but im gonna try my best to stick it out for the next year and a half so that im 'vested' -#- or whatever its called for my little tiny 401k money lmao#im starting to get anxiety about work on my days off more than usual#they just changed it from 5 years to 6 years fjgkdlghd#and im nearly at 5 years#also i think im gonna try and stick it out with the full time up until October and i'm going back to 4 days a week for my sanity#and also theyve been cracking down on ppl missing work and the winter time i have to call out a couple times a month for snow#they used to be understanding about it but it sounds like they arent anymore :)#in one breath they'll be like 'yeah it's no worries we work at a grocery store who cares! we're stacking cans this isn't life or death'#but the moment you gotta leave early due to snow so you can actually make it home in one piece they get butthurt lmao#mind you I have put my car in a ditch BECAUSE of work doing this to me and i ended up missing a week + covering repairs because of it#like ... would you rather i go home 2 hours early or miss 4-6 days of work and be in debt :)#and the answer is the 2nd one for them lmao i fucking hate them
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feeling like a total asshole today 👍
#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night#i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know#so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD#but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying#and i felt absolutely nothing#idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel#like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just?????#that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car)#and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow#and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago#i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back#not right now#not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week#but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go#and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now#and all i can think about is that i'm anxious#i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know#i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it#bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has#but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality#why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain#like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings#i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it#i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it#i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly#so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language)#is easier than talking in spanish#and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind#but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/#i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit
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reaching that point again where im thinking about dropping everything and go into art full time
#my ass needs a full YEAR of recovery/undoing the damage that working has done to me before i could actually get back into art- esp as a job#someone pointed out ive been burnt out for awhile and i didnt have the heart to tell them ive been burnt out for at least 3 years#previously it was 2 years#i havent had a fucking break#i was chillin with a friend and just walking through how every year of my life since moving out except 1 year was hell#(does not change my mind abt leaving home i was SUFFERING before i moved out- its just a separate part of my life now)#vent in tags#rant in tags
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oh girls dont look im rambling in here
#spoilers#?? ig?? potential y8 spoilers???????#snap chats#anyway its been recently revealed by hidenari ugaki that he hasn't heard word about reprising his role as majima yet#and like. part of me doesn't mind the possibility of majima not coming back to LaD8 but:#1.) ugaki sounded upset bout the fact he didnt hear back yet :( if it means he isn't worried anymore then please bring maji back#2.) if majima isn't in the game then im just curious as to what the fuck kiryu's purpose is going to be then#maybe he just hasnt gotten word yet so i dont wanna say its official hes not coming back#but LaD8's set to release two years from now- not even maybe a year and then some#so if he hasnt gotten word yet it is lookin a bit uhhh whats the word/phrase. idk Down To The Wire thats it I Think#im not saying majima and kiryu are stapled at the hip and if one of them is there the other one has to be#it's just... it's just so baffling having kiryu come back as a protagonist#this is less of a ramble about majima's potential return to the franchise and more about kiryu's return haha baited yall sorry#him coming back in LaD7 was already a bit of a stretch but i get it- i cant say im totally mad about it#if that would really be the last time we saw him then i wouldve been happy#but yeah im just.. really anticipating LaD8 now like whats he going to do in it if none of the past players are coming back#cause LBR if not even majima is making it when he's been beyond established as a fan favorite then there ain't hope for anyone else#ugh 2024 get here sooner please i just want to know what's going to happen#i also wanna see my boy ichi again. my sunshine my fellow my guy my pal my--#ok thats all from me for tonight feel free to send me your opinions or somethin idk
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cops disbanded forever because the attempted arrest of a skeleton and a cat resulted in the cars being crushed by their huge tits
let's get arrested. together.
#ask#raidendotcom#i hope i dont regret typing that one day#my brains a mess cause i was talking to a friend while listening to waynes novelai stream. i have a slight headache#as i was talking to them i could feel as if what i was typing was starting to become gibberish#i am still recovering#raiden do you think itd be cool if kiryu had big naturals. sorry ive been watching a lot of yakuza videos.#or would majima be more befitting#their astral game must be off the charts i think.#sorry raiden if you cant answer. but im diffefent. whatevrer#after answering this im going back to watching yakuza kiwami 2#the ragdolls in the game offput me a little bit but i think throwing them off the screen makes up for it#though the battle music keeps fucking me up cause its the one they used in the one scene in the grand of yakuza 0#its a good song but it feels like it should only be played that once#so hearing the piano for thugs and yakuza on the streets everytime is offputting#but i dont mind it as much now that im getting use to watching it#im excited for yakuza 8 and the other game that comes out this year involving joryu#anyway i didnt mean to hyperfixate on yakuza while were talking about our fucking bobbies. im SORRY#thank you for the ask boobies. i mean breasts. i mean raiden. smile. then evil smile. :) >:) <- for reference
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