man I wish people understood how much it sucks ass to be neurodivergent and trying to find the middle ground where people like/tolerate you. like, I'm either "boring" (trying to wait my turn in conversations, holding space for other people, taking a back seat to let others get some spotlight) or "too much" (too loud/talking too much, getting excited to share, trying to participate in group conversations/activities). No one really talks about how much of being neurodivergent is just sort of trying to make yourself palatable.
I feel like so much of my life has been spent trying to find this effortless sort of middle ground everyone else seems to automatically already know, and I'm always swinging too far one way or the other. I'm lucky to have neurodivergent friends who grok me, but goddamn I wish that I could just like, exist without the constant background script in my brain that's like "you're being too loud. You're not talking enough. you're being self-centered. you're being boring. you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong." I feel like I'm back in high school trying to make friends but stuck as the eternal "weird kid"
it's just... lonely and sucks bad.
32K notes
·
View notes
Okay look you don't understand, The Pre-Pilots Kai book does things to my brain that I couldn't even imagine-
I already adore Kai and Zane and their show dynamic but this fucking book takes it to a WHOLE new level, like "Jay and Cole are best friends" levels when it comes to dynamic.
I've said a million times and I'll say it again, Kai gets Zane like no one else, he has a particular soft spot for the guy the other ninja didn't have at the time, and I'd argue even nowdays he still has that soft spot, and I'd assume vice versa as well.
And just, aghhg7abflnwofm
They both are so amazing I love them, Zane might not fully understand Kai, and the guy probably stood out to Zane immediately because he's so god damn out there and Loud and angry and all that-
But even if he's bad at emotions, he's smart enough to know that it's out of deep care and worry...
"I envy you"
HE FUCKING KNOWS KAI IS LIKE THAT BECAUSE HE'S SO WORRIED ABOUT NYA GET OUT-
Then suddenly, it's turned 180 when Kai wonders why Zane even envys him.
How can you envy someone that just lost their family member?
Answer: You don't even have family to begin with.
Like the secretly ever caring guy he is, Kai goes:
"I've been so caught up with my own problems, I never stopped to think about what his might be."
At that moment, Kai realised that despite everything, he has a luxury that Zane might never be able to expiernce (within the context of The Pilots, ignore "Tick Tock" for now), and he can't even imagine his life without any family.
That, in Kai's mind, is hard to comprehend fully, "Wouldn't that be at least a little distracting?"
Oh how we'd come to eventually understand SO CLEARLY if you've read the Zane Pre-Pilots book and watched Tick Tock, as a matter of fact, that that's possibly the most distracting thing ever for Zane, he constantly thinks about his past, and Kai managed to make that good assumption purely off of Zane's explanation of his very brief past.
And if that wasn't already bad enough for my brain rot-
Since they have time, why not and try solve Zane's issues with him?
Look I'M TELLING YOU- THESE 2 ARE BESTIES-
265 notes
·
View notes
No, listen, you don’t understand, this line haunts me. Why is this never picked back up?? Did anyone actually tell Apollo that his son said this???? Apollo met with all three people who were in this room, did any of them pass the message on??? If so, why don’t we see it???? Actually, why is Asclepius barely mentioned AT ALL in ToA???????? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ASCLEPIUS???????
658 notes
·
View notes